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mebiselfandi · 1 year

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Title: Don’t Leave Me

Summary: Neymar tells Luis and Leo he’s leaving Barcelona

Pairings: Lionel Messi/Neymar, Luis Suarez/Neymar, Lionel Messi/Luis Suarez, MSN

Tags: pain, misery, hurt/no comfort

A/N: GUYS PLEASE READ THIS FIRST BEFORE YOU CONTINUE!! Please if you’re not feeling okay don’t read this. It’s entirely too depressing imo. But please don’t read this on my account especially with everything that’s been happening between these two. Secondly I’m actually laughing cause I said wow this is so hard to write considering I’ve never had to deal with a best friend leaving me behind and the universe really said bet. Oh yeah for the vibes this song is how Leo feels

Leo and Luis watched with curiosity as Neymar and Rafa had a hushed argument all throughout their afternoon practice. Rafa seemingly trying to convince Neymar of something. Neymar eventually seemed to have enough and sulked off to their room as soon as practice was over. Leo and Luis were quick to go up to Rafa to find out what was wrong with Neymar.

“Hey! Rafa, wait!” Luis shouted as they jogged to catch up with him. “What’s wrong with Ney?”

Rafa just gave them both a guilt ridden look, “it’s not for me to say. You’ll have to ask him yourselves.” And before either of them could ask him to elaborate on the cryptic nature of his response he’d already dashed off to talk to Ivan.

They both turned to look at each other, silently agreeing take Rafa’s advice and then set off after Neymar.

Leo knocked lightly on Rafa and Neymar’s door. They heard some shuffling inside then Neymar came and unlocked the door, letting them in and shutting it behind them. He walked back to his bed. Sitting down on it and looking at the two men.

“Ney, are you okay?” Luis asked first when they were now stood in front of him. Both him and Leo could feel their worry for the younger man reaching a boiling point, threatening to spill over.

“I…I have to tell you guys something,” he whispered with a shaky voice looking slightly pale. Leo raised his eyebrows expectantly. Neymar looked up at his two friends in front of him. He wasn’t sure how to tell them especially after everything they’d been through the last few years. Gathering his nerves, he spit it out before he could stop himself, “I’m leaving.”

“What are you talking about?” Luis breathed out but he already knew exactly what Neymar meant.

“I-I’m leaving Barça,” he couldn’t help the crack that entered his voice.

“Oh,” Leo muttered.

Neymar looked down and wiped weakly at a stray tear, “I’m sorry, I tried to tell you guys earlier but I didn’t know how and- and you deserved to know. I’m so sorry.” Neymar whispered. He finally looked back up and he wished he never did. Luis was looking at him with a face painted with utter betrayal and Leo? Oh Leo. Neymar prayed he’d never see the look on his face again. Entirely blank and devoid of emotion, Neymar could see him retreating into himself the same way he did when he would pretend he wasn’t sad or upset. The thought that he had caused him that pain made a fresh batch of unshed tears spring to his eyes.

“When are you going to tell the team?” Leo asked with that blank look in his eyes.

Neymar could only open and close his mouth wordlessly. Unsure how he’d tell them it was only them who didn’t know. The two people who should have known first.

Luis’ face dawned with realization as he understood what Neymar wouldn’t say but before he could say anything, there was a loud knock on the door then Rafa poked his head in.

“Ney? Coach is looking for you,” he announced apologetically then retreated, shutting the door behind him.

They all looked at each other until finally Leo began to head towards the door.

“Wait, Leo-,” but before he could say whatever he planned to, Luis quickly stepped in front of him, shielding Leo from his view.

“Don’t, Ney. Just don’t. Not now,” Luis bit out through clamped teeth, still holding that betrayed look in his eyes.

“But I-.”

“Please,” Luis begged.

Seeing the slight tremble in his friends lips, Neymar could only nod his head in quiet agreement to what he asked. Luis shot Neymar one more pained look then wrapped an arm around Leo’s shoulders, leading them both out of the room. Neymar sat back once the door had shut, leaving him completely alone in the room. He wiped his face with his shirt then mentally told himself to pull it together before heading out to see what the Coach needed.

————————————————

Leo and Luis had made sure to avoid Neymar the rest of the day. Whether on purpose or by accident, Neymar didn’t know but he certainly didn’t expect to see them standing outside his door that night.

“Can we come in?” Leo asked. The question more directed towards Rafa who sat on his bed scrolling through his phone.

He looked at the three of them then muttered out a quiet, “no, yeah, it’s fine,” as he got up to leave. When he reached Neymar he squeezed his hand lightly, “I’ll be in Ivan’s room,” he whispered reassuringly. He sent him one final smile then disappeared out the door, closing it behind him.

Neymar went and sat on his bed and watched as Leo and Luis sat opposite him on Rafa’s. They all sat silently for a few seconds before finally Luis spoke.

“You can’t leave.”

“If you came to convince me to stay, it won’t work. I’ve already made up my mind,” Neymar said firmly. He didn’t want to fight with his friends but he’d made his decision and it wasn’t changing.

“But you said you weren’t going to leave.”

“And I’ve decided otherwise,” Neymar argued.

“You’ve decided or someone else?” Luis snapped.

“Barca is your home Ney. You belong here…with us,” Leo redirected as he could see an argument already brewing, “and you’ve been playing so well. We just won against Paris and that was because of you. You brought us back when we had practically lost. Now you want to go there?”

Neymar could feel the tears prickle the back of his eyes

“When did you decide?” Luis questioned.

“June.”

“What?” Leo asked quietly. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “you’ve known since June?”

“That was almost 3 weeks ago and you’re only telling us now?” Luis finished for him in a hurt tone.

“I-,” Neymar started.

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Luis growled out lowly. He couldn’t help how rough he sounded but he was mad. However he softened when he saw Neymar flinch at his tone, “why, Ney? Why France? Ney, England is better. City, that kind of football is better, it’s more suited to you. But France?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled quietly.

Luis leaned forward and took Neymar’s face in his hands. Neymar’s own glassy eyes dimmed under Luis’ own sorrow leaden gaze. He searched and searched for some kind of answer. Any answer that would begin to explain why Neymar was leaving them. But it was to no avail. One of the tears he was trying so desperately to keep at bay slid down his face. A silent plea for the younger man to see reason. “Ney you won’t be happy there,” he whispered, pulling at straws that might make Neymar change his mind before it was too late.

“I could be,” he mumbled back sadly. Luis’ fingers gripped almost painfully into Neymar’s cold skin. Why couldn’t he understand?

“But you won’t be,” he forced out through gritted teeth. Another tear fell, chasing the other.

Leo reached out and gently grabbed onto Luis’ hands, removing them from where they were digging bruises into Neymar’s skin. Luis simply swiped angrily as his eyes and looked away.

Leo watched Neymar for a few seconds. Maybe he’d missed it. Maybe he’d made a mistake and completely missed Neymar’s feelings. Gone months and months without seeing that Neymar no longer wanted to be here. He knew Neymar by heart so why couldn’t he have seen this coming. He should have been able to. Maybe something was wrong with his heart. “Are you not happy here?” He finally asked quietly.

Neymar looked away from Leo. His fingers picked and pulled at the loose threads of the bedspread, “I don’t know.”

“Well, will you be happy there?”

“I-I don’t know…”

Leo’s frustration was reaching a breaking point, “you can’t leave m-,” he began to say forcefully. He paused for a second to calm down. Leo took a deep breath and closed his eyes then opened them, stormy and conflicted, “us. You can’t leave us for ‘I don’t know’ Ney.”

“Ney what do we have to do to convince you to stay?” Luis asked.

“I do want to stay…but I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I…” Neymar was speechless, “my dad-”

“Forget about him. You don’t have to listen to him. You can decide yourself.” Leo was well aware of the influence he had over Ney but for once he wished Ney would listen to them. “What do you want?” Leo picked up one of Neymar’s hands and tried to catch his gaze, “You want to win the Ballon d’Or? I’ll get you the Ballon d’Or.”

Neymar could feel his heart racing at Leo’s words as he met his eyes with shock. The words slipped out themselves before he could stop them, “I want to win with you,” he looked at Luis, “both of you.”

Luis leaned forward again and grabbed onto Neymar’s other hand, “Ney, if you want to win everything, stay here with us. We’ll make sure you win. In Paris…it’s not guaranteed.”

Neymar could feel his resolve weakening. He wanted to be with Luis and Leo but it was already too late, “It will be different once I get there. I could change the club, the league. They’ve promised me a lot…”

Leo squeezed his hand tightly, “and we’re promising you everything.”

He felt overwhelmed under the looks of desperation in his friends eyes. He didn’t want to leave them. It was one of the last things he wanted. He could barely even imagine a life without their constant presence. Why was he even leaving? He wasn’t sure why he’d agreed to leave. The tears flowed fast and hot down his face, “I can’t,” he finally sobbed out, “I want to but I can’t.”

Luis and Leo pulled him between the two of them and they both held him as he cried. Loud and broken with the arms of the people he cared about most wrapped around him. Minutes felt like hours as the burden of his imminent absence weighed down heavier and heavier around them with an oppressive air. His cries eventually stifled to quiet quivers and short intakes of breath.

“We just want you to be happy Ney,” Luis said as he rubbed Neymar’s back soothingly.

“I know,” he whimpered hoarsely into his shoulder.

Leo looked at Luis and had a silent conversation with him. Understanding what Leo was asking, Luis got up and took Neymar’s head in his hands once more. He rubbed softly at the dried tear tracks on his cheeks. Neymar closed his eyes and tried to focus on the feel of his slightly calloused fingers gliding gently over his skin.

“Just think about it,” he urged. He leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to Neymar’s forehead then smoothed his hair back and left Leo and Neymar alone. They sat in silence as Leo tried to think of what to say.

“Is it true?” Leo asked. Neymar simply looked at him confusedly until finally in the most quiet of voices Leo asked, “are you leaving because of me?” Leo never listened to what the media had to say. However over the last few months, ever since Neymar’s transfer rumors had started, he’d heard what they said. How Neymar was drowning in Leo’s shadow. He’d obviously believed none of it but he’d also believed Neymar wasn’t leaving. Now he wasn’t sure about anything. “It’s okay you can tell me if it’s me…I won’t be mad at you or anything. I just…I need to know.”

Neymar turned in Leo’s arms to look at him in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’d think that’s true,” he whispered quietly.

“I don’t know what to think anymore Ney,” Leo whispered back. His eyes were starting to burn with the heat of sadness, “you said you’d stay.” He cracked out, a tear escaping.

“I never meant to hurt you Leo,” Neymar murmured as he tried not to look away from the hopeless expression on Leo’s face.

“But you are.”

“I’ll still come back and visit. I’m not leaving forever.”

“Then why does it feel like this is goodbye.”

Neymar stayed silent as he watched the tears leave Leo’s eyes. He placed his hands gently on either side of his face and Leo nuzzled into his palms as he cradled his head. He wiped away at Leo’s tears but they only seemed to double in strength until Leo let out a choked sob. Neymar was quick to wrap Leo up in his arms. But where Leo usually found the warmth of a thousand suns, he was met with endless winter. Neymar’s embrace lacked all its usual heat and Leo felt so cold. He pushed and clawed at Neymar’s chest. Maybe if he dug deep enough he’d find that familiar feel of his soul.

“Please don’t leave me Ney,” Leo begged through gut wrenching sobs, “I can’t lose you.” He cried into his neck as he wrapped his arms tighter around Neymar’s waist.

Neymar could only cry silently as he watched Leo cry. Leo who was always so strong even when he had every right to not be. And it was his fault. After he’d silently promised to always be by Leo’s side, he was leaving him behind. He was the one causing all this pain and he had no way to fix it. “I’m so so sorry,” he finally wept around the lump in his throat.

“Please…please Ney,” Leo begged as he closed his eyes, rubbing his cheek against Neymar’s and mixing the tears he’d shed with his. He pressed their foreheads together, his lips brushing against Neymar’s and whispered, “just tell me you’ll stay,” so quietly, Neymar would have thought Leo stayed silent had he not felt him breathe the words into his lungs.

“Leo…” Neymar trailed off brokenly. He could feel the pads of Leo’s fingers dig into his ribs.

“…please,” he whimpered tightening the hold on Neymar’s body.

The tears rolled freely down Neymar’s face as he felt Leo’s lip tremble against his with the weight of his decision. There was no way Neymar could let Leo down. How could he deny him this one request? So he lied. He lied over and over again until he almost believed it. Until he wished it was true.

And when Neymar woke up the next morning, Leo was gone.

For @satrangee-ray and @dykemar

I hope I broke your heart’s sufficiently.

#originally this was supposed to be about Leo leaving Ney but I changed my mind #I know I said no angst but yeah #I’m so very sorry for this y’all #and it’s one of my longer fics too😔😔#luis suarez #neymar #neymar jr #leo messi #lionel messi #neymessi #msn #msn fic #Spotify #meb writes

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