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shinneth · 4 years

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Spill the tea on Stevinel (just because I saw one for conniverse) And yes, I'm not on Anonymous. Because I'm a proud stevinel shipper and no one's going to stop me from loving it, also your blog is cool

And you know what? That’s the right attitude to have! People should be free to express what they ship without shielding themselves with anonymity. I don’t blame the people that do these days - antis are fucking dangerous people - but goddamn, people. It’s fiction.

So I commend you for shipping Stevinel openly and proudly! Hard to believe it’s actually considered a bold and brave move just to be open and honest about harmless preferences these days.

That said, I’m sorry it took so long to get to this. I felt you deserved an epic, given how unexpectedly successful my tirade on why Connverse is a shit ship with an undeserved golden reputation was...

But the truth is, even though I’m very much a Stevinel shipper, it’s definitely not my OTP.

And it’s very tricky for me to figure out how to spill the tea on Stevinel in a way that’s distinct from me doing the same with Stevidot.

Because, well, let’s face it: these two ships, beyond being very similar in nature, have also endured identical hardships from the fandom.

All the death threats Stevinel fans get from the raging antis for daring to ship something so “problematic/immoral/wrong/not Connverse”?

Stevidot fans have been treated that exact same way for years. And still are. For the exact same reasons.

Both Stevinel and Stevidot shippers are valid, but the fandom constantly turns a blind eye to Rebecca Sugar’s husband who also worked on the show outright saying gem x human ships are FAIR GAME.

And also turn a blind eye to the recent interview where Sugar herself stated that the gems are more like AI - a conclusion I and many others deduced ages ago just by how gems are portrayed in the show.

But by god, they’ll hang on Matt Burnett’s word that “grown gems” are a thing even though canon itself explicitly states that GEMS DON’T GROW.

Just like how despite Maya Petersen outright admitting that Aroace!Peridot is just her headcanon, people treat it like the fucking gospel now.

(no offense to anyone who’s committed to that particular headcanon - I just don’t really see it with Peridot in particular and it’s really fucking stupid to claim it’s 100% canon when the source herself explicitly said it wasn’t)

Well, it’s canon that Spinel kissed Steven and he didn’t turn into dust. And Steven was already well on his way down the path of self-destruction at this point in time; he would’ve gone monster whether this happened or not.

Also, how often does a character get the “heart eyes” expression for just a platonic love?

If there was ever a scene where Connie or Steven had heart eyes, no doubt most of the pricks would scream “YES!!!! UNDENIABLE PROOF THAT THEY’RE IN LOVE!!!”

But when it’s Spinel, suddenly it doesn’t count? Really?

How convenient.

There’s also the stupid idiots who saw the conceptual development of Spinel in that movie artbook and saw some vague color keys during a conceptual stage and claimed that Spinel was “family” to Steven - which of course must mean “related” and therefore must make Stevinel an incestuous relationship!

Which is bull. Also shit. It’s already common knowledge that gems don’t work that way. She was the designated playmate for Steven’s mother. Nothing more.

Of course, most gems who come in Steven’s orbit end up being sort of a family to him.

But everyone seems to have this impression that a gem being part of Steven’s family means they become additional surrogate mom figures.

And yeah no, that’s dumb and wrong. Garnet and Pearl are really the only ones I’d consider actual “mom figures”. Amethyst’s more of a big sister. Everyone else can vary depending on perspective, but I’ve never seen any of the other gems as anything close to a motherly figure for Steven. Any time I see shit about Lapis or Peridot being regarded as “gem moms” to Steven, I laugh my ass off. They are so not moms or any kind of authoritative figure for Steven. Bismuth at best is more of the fun-loving aunt.

There are more roles in a family than just a paternal/maternal substitute. In fact, I believe Steven has considered Connie to be part of his family well before they hooked up in canon.

(as a side-note, I love how people who are allegedly SO squicked out by age gap ships totally pardon Connverse - you guys realize Connie was 14 in Future, right? Possibly 15 depending on the time scale? There’s gonna be a point in the relative near future where Steven is 18 and Connie isn’t - why don’t I hear you assholes angst about that “atrocity”, huh?)

I honestly do consider the CG B-Team as part of Steven’s family, but more in a loose sense. But by that same token, I consider Connie as part of the family in a similar manner.

Especially since Spinel was shoved off to live with the Diamonds after the movie - and the Diamonds themselves have a very fucked-up relationship among themselves to the point where I honestly hesitate to put a familial label on it at all - it’s extra stupid to try and paint Stevinel as something with incestuous overtones when it clearly doesn’t.

Spinel does happen to be a perfect representative of how full of shit antis are about age gaps, though.

While Peridot’s age has always been left vague, we know she can’t be 5K or older due to being an Era 2 gem. Due to her utter lack of knowledge of Era 1 events (or being completely sold on the Diamonds’ propaganda) and her general inexperience with her own equipment - as well as her ability to quickly adapt to Earth - I always headcanoned Peridot as being especially young. Like, younger-than-Steven young.

Mostly because Peri’s attitude reeks of Gen Z - also because it’d be nice for a change to have a gem who isn’t thousands of years old like literally every other noteworthy gem in the show. We need a representative of gemkind who hasn’t been around for ages.

Of course, Spinel’s backstory proves that even if they went the boring route and made Peridot thousands of years old just like everybody else, it wouldn’t really mean much of anything. She’d be no less of a valid romantic option for Steven regardless of age.

Spinel is several thousands of years old, and the movie explicitly shows us what exactly that amounts to for a gem.

As I mentioned earlier, Sugar sees the gems more like AI. Spinel remaining in one spot for several millennnia, not moving an inch, not speaking to anyone, not seeing anything other than a gradually-deteriorating garden... yeah, and somehow, despite all that, Spinel’s still very childlike per her design. She had literally no room to mature or accrue life experience: Pink Diamond basically hit the pause button on her entire life.

Even though she’s several thousands of years old, through no fault of her own, Spinel’s mindset remained unchanged. It wasn’t until Steven inadvertently came into her life that she became twisted - understandably so after finally realizing she’d been abandoned by Pink.

But she still didn’t completely lose her true self. Spinel realized on her own that Steven didn’t deserve to suffer just because his mom was a negligent asshole. She also came to understand on her own that unlike Pink, Steven truly cared for her no matter what shit she threw his way.

Steven could give Spinel the care and attention she always deserved; something Pink totally denied her while deceiving her into wasting away with her abandoned playground. He could be the one to give Spinel the love she always deserved but was either denied or manipulated into believing she got.

Honestly, this is more than enough to warrant building something more between these two.

The age gap is irrelevant. The two have chemistry. They aren’t related.

(and honestly, this is fiction - these details are largely irrelevant in fiction anyway. I’m only bringing it up because it doesn’t take much research to find that every label the antis put on Stevinel is complete inaccurate Diamond propaganda bullshit)

Stevinel is FINE. Let people ship it if they want to!

Um... is that good enough?

Honestly, I’m not gonna lie: Stevinel’s pretty goddamned popular; so much that I’m a bit jealous of it. I enjoy the ship a lot, but I’ve been keeping it at arms-length all this time. I’m looking forward to when I can write my own brand of Stevinel interaction when I get to introduce her in my series, but that’s still a while to go.

Also, there’s almost zero Peridot/Spinel material, let alone my Peridot/Steven/Spinel OT3. And Stevidot material is still hard to come by; I’m noticing Stevinel’s still quite a bit easier to find by comparison.

So in a way, I feel many other unpopular ships deserve some tea-spilling sooner than Stevinel because Stevinel at least still has a sizable fanbase. Same can’t really be said for a lot of similar ships here...

A lot of this can apply to other Steven x gem ships, honestly.

But I guess I haven’t been showing Stevinel much proper love due to my devotion to my superior SU-AU. I can only hope I can soon reach a point where I can have GA Spinel react to Steven, since their dynamic will be significantly different.

(and then one day I’ll finally make the Peridot/Steven/Spinel OT3 fic!!)

Until then, I can only hope I did Stevinel some justice here!

#answered asks #ryan-spinel #stevinel #stevidot #steven universe #spinel #su spinel #shipping #spill the tea #peridot #su peridot

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roachspraee · 4 years

Text

Closed Closet (Spinel X Reader)

So I watched the Steven Universe Movie and I am FAMISHED. I knew right away I had to make a fanfic of Spinel, so here ya go! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I did rush this quite a bit, and in no way am I expecting this to relieve your thirst for Spinel, but I do hope this meets your expectations. I have a bad habit of prioritizing less important things over my actual school work...whoops. This is kinda spicy, enjoy !! ≧◡≦

Word count: 4,019

Warnings: Foul Language

You sat on the floor comfortably as you leaned back onto your hands. Your nails dug into the carpet on the floor gently as your eyes darted from person to person in the room. Steven had planned a little hangout at Lars' house and invited multiple people. You had wondered for a moment why he hadn't just planned a hangout at the temple, but then you had realized that there was an accident that had recently taken place at the crystal gem's home.

Peridot was left at the house unsupervised by any of the gems while she was baking a cake for Pumpkin's birthday. Once Steven returned home after getting donuts from the Big Donut, he had found the house partially burnt. You nearly knocked yourself out from laughing so hard when Pearl told you about the incident. You couldn't believe that they would leave her all alone like that!

So while Bismuth and a couple other gems repaired the house, Steven decided it would be nice to have a small party with his close friends, which honestly you didn't mind, because you loved hanging out with Beach City's weirdest people.

Your eyes scanned everyone's faces in the room; Lars and Sadie, Connie and Steven, Lapis and Peridot, Pearl and Amethyst, and Garnet with Spinel. Everyone was chatting, some were on the floor like yourself, others were dancing to quiet music, and others were eating snacks while telling jokes. It was nice and calming, that was until your eyes met Spinel's.

The feeling of your heart thrumming at the sight of her eyes almost made you feel dizzy. It was really odd, though, because your heart always did that whenever you were near Spinel. She was always very comfortable with you, she'd call you cute little pet names (which you assumed to be friendly), and she'd always go the extra mile just to make you smile. Whenever she talked about something that really intrigued her or made her excited, her little accent would be audible to your ears and you couldn't help the warm sensation that spread across your face.

You had definitely grown very fond of the gem, regardless of what others think of her. She did have that pissed off looking rest face, which does make her look quite intimidating, but you honestly thought it was cute. You really enjoyed her company, even if she did struggle with her own issues.

But you couldn't help the frown that formed on your lips at the thought of Spinel. Whenever you looked at her you felt disappointed. At the beginning of your friendship, she had opened up to you about her feelings and problems. Whenever she looked agitated or felt down, you were always there to listen and comfort her. If anything, your similar feelings were the reason why you had grown so close. But then she just stopped. She stopped talking to you about her feelings.

Every time you saw her she looked more angry and tense, and if you asked her about how she was doing she'd just brush your question off her shoulder and answer with: "I'm fine dollface, ya don't gotta ask every 2 minutes."

You gave her space from that point on. But the more space you gave her, the more she closed off and the less your conversations lasted. You knew she was lying to you when she said she was fine. There have been times when you saw her, and her eyes were swollen red and puffy as if she's been crying. Words cannot describe the amount of guilt and pain you felt, because you wanted to help her so badly, but she wouldn't let you. She refuses to share anything about her past or feelings with you, and you didn't understand why. What were you doing wrong?

Letting out a sigh, you stood up from your comfortable spot on the floor and made your way over to Spinel and Garnet who sat on Lars' bed. Their conversation had ceased when they saw you approach them, and Garnet waved at you to sit down next to them.

"Hello y/n." Garnet greeted with a soft smile. You returned the smile as you made yourself comfortable on the bed, "Hey Garnet-" You turned over to Spinel and gave her wide grin, ignoring the small wave of nervousness that splashed onto you, "hey Spinel." The pink gem gave you a soft smirk, her eyes instantly growing soft at the sight of you. She greeted you with a small wave of her hand before she placed it behind her head.

You turned to look at Garnet with a relaxed glint in your eyes and you let out a soft sigh, "Man, this is exactly what I needed. We should definitely do this more often." Garnet snorted, lifting a hand to her lips as she shook her head jokingly, "You see us almost everyday y/n." You rolled your eyes playfully at her comment as you let yourself fall onto the bed, the soft cushion of Lars' bed against your back was truly bliss.

"It's still fun. All of us being in one place and just chatting amongst each other is one of the best things in life. Plus, Spinel doesn't come on earth often. So it's nice to see her." You glanced over at Spinel with a, rather confident, wink. You watched as her cheeks turned light pink at your gesture, and she looked away from your face with a soft chuckle, "Thanks sugar, it's nice to see ya too." She winked back, and you could have sworn you felt your heart skip a beat. Man, this gem really has you feeling all sorts of ways.

The sudden voices of Steven and Lars caught everyone's attention, making their eyes turn to the duo that stood in the middle of the room. After they had everyone's eyes set on their figures, Lars began to speak, "So Steven and I had planned a game for us all to play. It's called 7 Minutes in Heaven. Basically-" He stopped mid-sentence as his face scrunched up as if he was trying to remember what he was going to say next.

"hold up." He whipped out his phone from his pocket and began to type furiously on his phone. Steven sighed with a roll of his eyes, "Basically what the game is about-"

"OKAY," Lars interrupted, a big smile formed on his lips as he stared at the screen of his phone, "So basically the game is about having two people enter a small space, like a closet," Lars turned behind him and pointed at a closet door, "and have them spend 7 minutes inside. You can do anything inside, like chat or play games. I've left a small flameless candle inside so you can see, and a few board games if you want to play."

Steven than pulled a small top hat from behind his back and shook it, "Inside this hat is all of your names. We will pull out two random names, and whoever gets called goes inside the closet for 7 minutes. This game is all about privacy, so when you go inside the rest of us will turn up the music and we'll wait until it is time for you to come out. And remember," Steven smiled at everyone in the room happily, "have fun and respect the other person's space. Don't proceed with any activities if the other party doesn't consent to it. Do we understand?" Everyone in the room nodded their heads in agreement.

"Great! Now we will draw the names." Steven lifted the hat and shook it before he reached in to grab a piece of paper. Lars then reached in and grabbed another piece of paper and they both unwrapped the small pieces of paper as their eyes scanned the written names. Your heart began to beat slightly faster than usual. You wouldn't ever admit it to yourself, but you wanted to go inside with Spinel. It had been so long since you've had a genuine conversation with her. You wanted to connect with her so badly. She was growing to become your stranger, and you wanted anything but that. You hoped this would be a perfect opportunity to speak to her.

“Y/n." Lars read out loudly.

Oh goodness.

"Spinel." Steven said, looking up from the paper in between his fingers and smiled, "Alright you two, go on ahead inside."

Wait, did that really just happen?

You didn't realize the smile on your face. You couldn't even feel that you had subconsciously smiled at the fact that you'd be staying in a closet alone with Spinel. You could finally speak to her. What was the likelihood of Steven and Lars actually drawing both of your names like that? What an odd coincidence.

You just hoped this would go smoothly.

Getting up from your comfortable spot on the bed, you made your way over to the closet with Spinel walking straight behind you. You stepped inside the middle-sized closet with Spinel as you heard the volume on the boombox increase. Steven peered inside the closet and smiled at the both of you, "Have fun, you guys. See you in 7 minutes!" And with that, he closed the closet door shut.

Regardless of the blasting music behind the closed doors of the closet, it was pretty quiet. Too quiet. You could hear your blood pump in your ears.

"Since we're gon' be here for 7 minutes, might as well get comfy." Spinel said casually, sitting down on the floor with her legs crossed. You stood there dumbfounded for a second as you gather your thoughts before sitting down across from her. You smiled sheepishly at her, and she smirked, "What'dya wanna do doll?" She turned to a small pile of board games and reached for the one on the top, "Wanna play Monopoly?" She asked, her gaze turning to look at your face and waited for your answer.

You nodded with a small smile, "Yeah, I love Monopoly. Have you played before?" Spinel shook her head softly, her pink hair following her movements as she opened the box and opened the board to set on the floor, "Nah, but you can teach me as we play. How does that sound?" You hummed in agreement with her proposal. You watched as she set down all of the game cash and the figurines on the board, "You can pick a character you want to play as." You told her.

She nodded and picked up a game piece, "Heh, this one's cute." You let a small giggle leave past your lips as you pick up another, "Alright, I'll play as this one." You and Spinel began to play for a few minutes, as you explained to her about the basics of Monopoly and how you have to pass go to collect 200 dollars. You have the rules of the game burned in the back of your brain since you'd always play it with your childhood friends when you were small.

Just as it became your turn, you suddenly stopped and looked up from the board and up to Spinel. She returned your gaze and rose a brow curiously at you. Were you going to speak to her? Were you going to follow through with your feelings? "Spinel," You spoke out her name, and she cocked her head a little to the right, "Something the matter dollface?" Her voice held curiosity and slight concern, but you suddenly felt a wave of irritation and frustration ram into you. And it rams into you hard.

You let out an airless sigh, your fingers letting go of the figurine that you held in your hands, shaking your head in disbelief. Was she being serious right now? Did she seriously just ask what was the matter, when you've been spending the last couple months trying to ask her that question?

"You're really going to ask that right now, Spinel?" You say with a roll of your eyes, feeling every bit of annoyance and hurt that had built inside slowly start to spill out of you.

"You have been emotionally distant from me and from everyone you know. For months I've been trying to help you. But every time I try you push me further and further away! And now you're going to ask me what's the fucking matter!?" You gasped at your sudden outburst and quickly placed your fingers on your lips. You hadn't meant to blow up, it just…happened.

Spinel sat wide-eyed at your words, but you watched as her face grew dark and sinister. You could feel your heart plummet down into your stomach when you watched her expression change drastically within split seconds, and the low growl that erupted in her throat made you want to hide and never come out. You knew damn well you had angered her, and there's no way to go back.

The easygoing smirk she had plastered onto her face was a mere mask, and now her true emotions are slipping past her grasp and all you can manage to do is meet her angry glare.

"I don't gotta tell you shit, toots." She sneered out through her bared teeth, making you flinch at how aggressive she became. You've never heard her growl so deeply before, and it honestly terrified you. You wondered why she hadn't acted so cold to you before…

Her words really hit it home when you started to feel your heart ache in pain, it was pretty damn clear that she wanted nothing to do with you. And god damn it, it hurt. Because no matter what you did or what you said, you knew she was going to shove you away. Fighting fire with fire wasn't a wise decision, but you needed her to hear everything.

"Do you not understand the fact that I'm worried!? What do you take me for? An idiot?? I know you're lying when you say you're FINE Spinel." Your voice grew louder and louder with every word, and you could feel your throat swell and ache at how much you yelled. Your eyes stung as you felt hot, burning tears well up in your eyes, and you tried to keep them from escaping past your lids.

Your hands balled into fists as you continued, "Hell, even the Diamonds know you're hiding something! They worry for you Spinel! Everyone does! I worry about y-you!" Your voice began to crack as for you could no longer look at Spinel while you were saying these things. It was too much for you. All you wanted was for her to be happy, and you can’t even make that happen.

You could see your knuckles turn white from how tightly you were holding your fists. You didn't care if anyone outside the closet could hear you, it wasn't even on your mind. You just needed to get this off your chest, even if Spinel wasn't willing to listen.

"We used to be so close…but then you started pushing me away!"

There was silence for a short while. But the sudden sound of the Monopoly board game flying towards the wall made you squeal in surprise. Spinel was closer to you now, and in the corner of your eye you could see the scattered pieces of the Monopoly game all over the floor, but that wasn't your main focus. Your eyes met with Spinel's, and you could see anger, but there was another emotion, or multiple, that were added to the mix that you couldn't quite identify. You were so overwhelmed with your own emotions that you couldn't even comprehend the situation entirely.

"Lemme tell ya a little somethin' sweetcheeks," She then grabbed a fist full of your shirt and lifted you up so that you were mere inches from her face, you were so close to her that you could feel her hot breath hit your face. A long, cold shiver ran up your spine at the sensation, and it only made your heart race faster than it already was. "I got my reasons for what I do what I do. My feelings ain't got nothin' to do with you. So why don'tcha just mind your own damn business?"

You didn't want to think that her voice could get any deeper, but you were most definitely wrong. The lump in your throat overwhelmed you, along with the heating of your skin, and all you could do was whimper in response to her words. Spinel's grip only grew tighter on your shirt as she pulled you even closer, "Why the hell do ya want me around anyway!? Just so you can leave me all alone like she did? So you can use me up and toss me away when you get bored of me!?" You felt confusion and pain swirl within your heart and soul. What was she talking about?

You didn't understand what she was saying. She was abondoned? By who? Why?

"N-no!" You stammered out, big, hot tears rolled down your cheeks as you turned away from her hateful gaze and to the wall. You hated this. You hated how she made you feel. You hated how she made you hurt for her when she doesn't even care.

"I want you around b-because you're my friend Spinel-" She interrupted you with a dark chuckle, her grip on your shirt forced you to look into her eyes, "Ya don't gotta lie to me babycakes," She pressed her forehead against yours as she continued to snarl out her hurtful words, "I know you're only pretending to care bout' me. When the fuck are ya finally gon' admit that you don't want me, huh!?"

"But I do want you!"

It took you only a few seconds to realize what you had just said, and the true meaning behind your words. Silence. You and Spinel both fell completely quiet, and the words you yelled out echoed within the walls of your head. Your face grew hot, embarrassment had been added to the mix of emotions you were experiencing. Did you just...

Spinel's glare disappeared, and a look of shock had replaced it. Her mouth was held agape, and her eyes were slightly wide. You could see her cheeks flush a deep red. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it. You left her completely speechless. Your heart threatened to leap out of your chest when you saw her eyes move from your eyes down to your lips.

"Damn you…" Spinel growled before she roughly shoved her lips against yours in a heated kiss. You squeaked in surprise, a new wave of emotions splashed onto you and you closed your eyes shut, focusing on her touch and warmth. Her mouth moved against yours, and your hands instinctively moved to her shoulders. You could feel her hands move to your cheeks as she softly held your face, pulling you closer to her.

Her kisses became more and more heated. You could feel every single emotion that she had kept to herself. Every single kiss held frustration, anger, loneliness, and sadness, and she was giving it all to you. Her lips were so soft against yours. You loved it. You loved her.

Your soul nearly jumped out of your body when you felt her tongue glide against your bottom lip. You accepted her request and let her explore every single spot she desired. You tilted your head to the side to deepen the rough, needy kiss.

“Mmph~” You couldn't help the soft moan that had escaped your throat when you felt her tongue coax your own to play. She tasted so sweet.

You felt her pull away, and to your surprise, you saw tears form in her stunning eyes as her lip quivered.

"God, I need you…" She murmured, pressing kisses on your neck as she placed her hands on your hips. You could feel her tongue glide on your warm skin and you bit your lip, trying so hard to keep your embarrassing noises to yourself.

"I want you…" She softly bit onto your skin, earning herself another moan. You felt her smile against your skin, then she pressed kisses all along your collarbone and up your neck, then gliding her lips along your jaw.

"I love you…" She pressed her lips against yours into another kiss, this time, it's more loving and soft. She let out a soft whimper as she brought you closer to her, her lips moving in sync with your own. You never knew just how much you wanted Spinel until now, and you could honestly say that you were the happiest person in the world.

She let out a groan when you bit onto her lower lip, this time exploring her. Her hands were shaky as they roamed all over your body. Her hand went under your shirt and felt every mile of skin. Your hands traveled up to her hair and you softly gripped onto her pink locks and smiled at how surprisingly soft they were. Her hands went up to your belly and to your chest, feeling you, wanting you.

You pulled away and panted heavily, your forehead flushed against hers. Spinel's face was a deep, beet red color, much like yours, and you just smiled when you saw how the pupils of her eyes shaped into little hearts as she stared at you with adoration and love. You stroked her wet cheeks softly as you pressed a kiss on her nose.

"Wow…" She mumbled, her thumb stroked the skin on your chest gracefully, "You really are somethin' toots." You smiled happily at her, and nuzzled your face in the crook of her neck, "After this party, you're telling me everything that’s on your mind.”

There was a slight pause, so you moved your head to look at Spinel’s face. She looked devastated. Her eyes held so much sadness in them.

"…I'm so sorry I said all those things to ya…" You immediately met her eyes, and saw guilt and regret swirl within her orbs, "All those things I said to ya…I…" She shut her eyes and looked away from you, purely ashamed for what she had said to you. You gently gripped onto her cheeks and quickly comforted her.

"Hey, hey Spinel, look at me," Her glossy eyes met yours, your fingers were quick to wipe away any falling tears from her eyes, "I forgive you. God, you have no idea how much it hurt when you pushed me away like that. But it’s over now, kay? From now on you’re telling me everything that’s on your mind and every emotion you’re feeling. I want to help you, Spinel." You kissed her eyes softly, wrapping your arms around her as you nuzzled into her hair, "Okay? We'll make it through this together.

Spinel pulled away and gazed at you with a small, sad frown and nodded her head, "Sure thing doll." You slowly stood up to your feet and helped Spinel up, hearing the music of the boombox go quiet and footsteps approaching the closet door, and the sudden light of the room blinded you once the doors had flew open.

"Times up! You guys can come out now." You and Spinel slightly stumbled out of the closet, squinting your eyes as they adjusted to the new lighting. As you made your way over to the bed with Spinel, Amethyst looked over at the both of you and smirked, "Did you guys have fuunn?” Your face started to burn as you remembered you had fought and had an extremely heated make-out session with Spinel in just 7 minutes.

“BAHAHAHAHAH!!” Amethyst laughed hysterically as your red face had answered her question. You just looked away from her in complete embarrassment.

You turned to Spinel when you felt her fingers intertwine with yours, only to see a smug smirk implanted onto her lips, "Ya know…" One of Spinel's hands laid on your thigh as she softly kneaded your skin, "You tasted pretty good. I wonder what other parts of you taste sweet~"

"Lars and Sadie! You guys are up next!"

You swear your heart was going to explode if the night continued.

#spinel #steven universe #xreader #spinel x reader

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thequeendesi · 4 years

Text

Pride

Title: Pride

Alt Title: Air Itself

Warnings: N/A

Pairings: Steven Universe x Reader

AU: N/A

Disclaimer: i dont own you or the Steven Universe franchise, i do own the writing.

Rating: PG

Request: Steven x Bi Female Reader Reader recently came out as bi but has a rough time with it due to her family. Steven, after seeing Reader so broken over her family rejecting her, invites her to join him and the gems in going to Pride in Empire City. To show her that she’s not alone, that he loves her so much and her sexuality is a beautiful part of her that makes her unique. Inspiration for this was This Is Me from the Greatest Showman.

A/N: hi! Ik this prolly isn't what u expected but i thought this was cute! And ive never seen The Greatest Showman lmao.

….

You sighed, your head on Steven's shoulder as you watched the pride parade on the TV, humming along to the music on the TV.

Steven couldn't help but feel as upset for you, if not more. He knew how much coming out to your family meant to you and it had broken you when they denied your true self, and made him quite mad when they kicked you out. When Steven came out the gems, and Greg, immediately accepted him and made sure to check in on how he felt about certain people.

"I have an idea." He said, making you sit up to look at him. "Let's go. The Parade goes on for a whole week and this is only the first day." He grinned at you. "Are you sure? I don't have any 'gear' for it." You looked over at the TV.

"Simple. We buy some, I have an extra flag in my closet somewhere." He stood up, walking over his closet.

"Who's all gonna be going, because I'm sure the Gems wouldn't let us go alone." You looked over at him, fixing your hair.

"Well, the Gems would come. Garnet and Pearl go every year and can see if Jasper would." Steven said, pulling out a pink jacket, that looked like his, but the rainbow inside. "Here, you could have this it you want." Steven said, holding the jacket out to you.

"So it'd be me, you, Garnet, Pearl, Lapis, Peridot, Amethyst, Bismuth and Jasper going?" You tapped your chin. "This should make one hell of a parade."

…

The week came and gone, and everyone had fun, especially you. You ended up making friends there who went through the same struggles as you, and you ended up trading numbers with them all.

"Did you enjoy your visit?" Steven asked, hugging you from behind, placing his chin on your shoulder.

You smiled. "Yea, it's nice being surrounded by people like me. Thank you Steven." You grinned, turning around to face him.

"Anything for my girl."

"Anything?" You asked, leaning in close to raise an eyebrow.

"Of course, I love you more than air itself." He hummed, hugging you close to him.

"I love you too Stevie."

#steven universe x reader #steven universe x you #steven universe imagine #Steven universe imagines #x reader #desi's writings #desi's oneshot #des' oneshot #des' writing

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remember-the-fanfics · 4 years

Note

Werewolf reader X Lapis and Peridot(If you’re comfortable with that-) where both the gems think the reader is corrupting despite being human and just try to comfort and be with the reader until the process is over, when the reader transform back into their normal form they explain what happened to them.

It's a Secret (Lapis x Werewolf!Reader x Peridot)

You were suppose to be gone by then but they kept needing your help and you didn't say no until it was to late.

Now they think your a monster, just not the one you're actually are.

The two Gems that were dear in your heart, were keeping you inside because they think you're corrupted and thought you would be a danger.

"(Y/n) don't tear up the TV!" Yelled Peridot as you knock over the TV. You growled in response and then came Lapis.

"They clearly don't like being in here." Said Lapis before she splashed you with water, muttering it was nice to knock over the TV.

"What are we suppose to do till Steven comes back?" Said Peridot starting to pet you.

This is better than when they were sobbing. They stopped when they realized you were still you in the head.

"Make sure they dont tear up anything and comfort them." Said Lapis.

"You're back!" Yelled Peridot and Lapis hugging you as soon as they woke up.

"Guys, I'm really sorry I didn't tell y'all before this but I'm werewolf and I'll explain more when I got clothes on!" You said before getting out of their hold and to where you keep your clothes at there place.

"How are you one of those fictional beasts?" Asked Lapis.

"Because they aren't actually fictional, they're really." You say as you were back with an outfit on. "I just turn into a beast every once a month, mostly a full moon." As you explain you got splashed with water.

"Do you not how worried we were? We thought there could be a chance that we would never actually see you again!" Said Lapis, tacking you in a hug along with Peridot.

"I love you too, I promise no more secrets like this anymore." You said.

5/14/2020

Y°Y I need a nap

#steven universe #su Lapis #su Peridot #lapis x reader x peridot #lapis x reader #peridot x reader #Steven universe future #gender nuetral #werewolf reader

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solavillain · 4 years

Text

Pas de Deux Ch. 10, Epilogue: Here We Are In The Future

+pairing: Spinel x fem!Reader +genre: Drama, romance, angst, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers +warnings: none +word count: 7.8K +Chapter 10 / 10 previous || FIN

Read on AO3!

Authors Note: Well, here we are, guys. 61 thousand+ words later, the end of Pas de Deux. So, again, thank you. And enjoy this last chapter of Pas de Deux <3

--------------

The weeks following your return hadn’t exactly been easy. Everyone needed a while to adjust... especially Spinel. Bismuth had been kind enough to offer Spinel an apartment in Little Homeworld, but... well, she wasn’t quite ready to be on her own yet, especially around so many strangers. Not that you could blame her, of course. You knew there would need to be a time in the future where she worked on these things, but for now you were happy to get her through the hardest parts. So for now she had been staying in your little summer rental just off the boardwalk. It was downright cozy, and god was it nice to sleep in a bed again. In fact, after everything had been settled after those first few days back, you and spinel had barely left the apartment. You spent a lot of time catching up on sleep and hygiene, and Spinel seemed to spend her time... relishing in the fact that she could be there, holding you.

After a week or so, you had decided you needed to pick up the café job once more in order to be a basic human adult and pay rent. Thankfully both your landlord and boss had been forgiving about the whole being kidnapped situation, and gratefully your boss took you back on board. It took a little bit to get back in the swing of things, but you adjusted pretty well. And surprisingly, Spinel had begun to adjust too. You had been concerned with what she would do while you were working shifts, especially longer ones. But she was perfectly content to accompany you, sitting at a table in the corner, perusing through a book from your apartment or learning how to use your phone that you would lend her if she didn’t feel like reading (a phone Greg had graciously paid for a week or so after your return, despite your protests- you had lost it sometime between the injector flooding the city and Spinel grabbing you).

There were times you could tell she felt awkward, especially if Steven or one of the other Crystal Gems came in. Though it was usually just Steven or Amethyst, as Garnet and Pearl still seemed hell-bent on avoiding the two of you. Whenever Steven or Amethyst came in, you could see Spinel visibly recoil, trying to hide herself even further into the corner of the room. You often wondered if Steven would ever try to talk to Spinel... or if anyone would, for that matter.

Fortunately, you hadn’t had to worry about that for too long. It probably shouldn’t have surprised you that Lapis, Bismuth and Peridot- AKA the “Attack Steven” team- had been fairly quick to forgive Spinel after all was said and done. Once Little Homeworld construction had finished, they had started visiting the café, and Peridot was quite quick to notice Spinel there every time they came in. Eventually they had all started sitting down with her for a few hours, a couple times a week. From what Spinel told you, it seemed like they mostly talked about Earth things; Peridot insisting on showing the pink Gem how the phone worked, even though you had already taught her a lot of the basics. But you could tell Spinel was perfectly happy to let them talk to her and show her things- you could imagine it was a huge relief that she wasn’t being shunned completely.

It was such a great feeling to see her there, while you were working, whether she was alone or with the New CG’s. Especially during busier times... you would glance up at her, and she would meet your eyes and give a smile, and your heart would start pounding so loudly you were sure the customers in line could hear it. You’d catch her staring at you sometimes too, when she thought you were busy. It was nice to know that even back here, around everyone, she still cared for you like she had on your island of paradise.

And honestly, that’s how you had come to think of your stay with Spinel. It hadn’t begun in the best of ways, and there were definitely hardships, but... you couldn’t help but be secretly grateful that she’d chosen to take you to that island. Despite everything, she had grown from the experience, and you had learned just how much you meant to each other. You could see why the others would be weirded out by it...but you didn’t care. It was still new, especially being back in Beach City- but you were learning together, like you’d promised.

As the weeks went on, and Spinel followed you around to your shifts, you couldn’t help but start to grow worried that she might be becoming too attached. You didn’t mind having her around of course, but you knew you had to establish boundaries early on. There was always a concern in the back of your mind that she would start to view you like she viewed Pink Diamond, and not as an equal...

Luckily, Spinel solved the issue herself, before you even had to mention it. One day as she walked with you to work in the early morning, she stopped short outside the café, gazing up at the overhanging sign above the shop.

“Spins? Everything all right?” you had asked, turning back once you had noticed she stopped.

“Y-yeah, I just... I don’t know if I want to sit around all day today,” she replied, sounding slightly put off by the prospect.

“Oh! Hey, that’s totally fine! Spinel, you don’t have to wait around for me for all of my shifts... I thought you were doing it because you were too nervous to walk around on your own, honestly.”

“Well, at first that’s what it was... plus I wanted to be close to ya,” she said with a wink, snaking an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer.

“But after a while I just... thought it made you feel better, having me around where you can see me? And make sure I’m not... doin’ anything I shouldn’t be doing, or somethin’,” she continued, mumbling the last part slightly.

“Hmm... well, I understand where you’re coming from,” you had replied tentatively, wanting to phrase everything correctly, “but I do trust you, just so you know. And I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck in one place- or that I’m making you wait for me.”

You gave her a pointed look, and she gave a nervous smile in return, removing her arm from your shoulders to scratch the back of her head.

“Heh, you’re not making me wait, doll. It’s just my own conflicting feelings getting' the better of me I guess. But!” she interjected suddenly, causing you to startle slightly, “Now that I’ve told ya, think it would be ok for me to check out some other places around town? Bismuth has been wantin’ me to visit Little Homeworld so they can show me around properly, and take me to that apartment they reserved for me. I still want to stay with you if that’s ok... but it would be neat to see everything!”

She beamed down at you with gleaming eyes, an excited grin growing on her face the more she talked.

“How can I say no to that face?” you had replied, reaching up to kiss her cheek. “That sounds fun, Spins. Really, you should feel free to do whatever you want with your time! And on my next day off we can explore together?”

“Of course! Peridot and the others want to show you around, too!”

You raised your eyebrows at this- it was the first you had heard of it. Before everything had happened, Amethyst had been the one to suggest giving you a tour... but aside from her slightly stilted visits to the café, you hadn’t heard about her wanting to continue that plan. So hearing that the New Crystal Gems wanted to show you around... well, if the others were going to snub you, maybe you could find a new friend group to hang out with.

“I’d love that,” you replied earnestly, taking her hand in yours to give it a quick squeeze. “But alas, for now I must go work. And you go have fun!”

Spinel grinned once more, and gave you a quick tight hug before racing off down the boardwalk. “Have a good day, doll! I love you!”

Your heart had leapt at her words- you would never get tired of hearing that sentence from her. Since that first time you had said it to each other, it had been used sparingly. You suspected Spinel didn’t want to diminish the meaning of the words by saying it so often, and you were fine taking things slow in that regard. Still... your heart swelled with more love for her with each passing day, more than you ever thought possible.

You shook your head and smiled, watching her figure retreat into the distance. Time for another long shift... hopefully the lack of Spinel wouldn’t have much of an effect on the day.

From then on, for the next few weeks, Spinel would walk you to work whenever you had a shift, send you off with a hug and a kiss, and then just... live her life. She often went to Little Homeworld, especially when you had a morning shift and got off in the afternoon. But the few times you had an evening shift, you would get off work and find a text from her waiting:

On the beach. Can’t wait to see you.

Every time you saw that text- and it was always the same- your heart soared. Months ago, you couldn’t have imagined that such a simple thing would send you into such a state, but... Spinel was special. God, was she special.

After you found her on the beach on those nights, the two of you would just sit and hold each other, watching the waves, or the lingering beach goers, or often times staying to watch the sun set. Spinel couldn’t seem to get enough of you during these moments- she would position you between her legs, letting you lean back on her. She would shudder and sigh when your back rested on her gem, and even though it was uncomfortable sometimes, you knew this level of contact meant so much to her, so you happily sat through the slight discomfort. If it meant making your girl happy... you’d do anything.

As you sat in silence, your mind would often wander to the future, though you had been trying to avoid stressing about it for the most part. But the end of summer was coming up- you had a little less than a month left before you’d have to go back to Empire City to finish off your senior year of college. Part of you wanted to just... skip it all, and live here with the Gems, and more importantly, with Spinel. But you knew you had to do this, and besides, you were pretty passionate about what you were majoring in.

Tonight was one such night- you'd had an evening shift, and had met Spinel on the beach as usual, finding her near the surf looking for shells. The instant she saw you her eyes brightened, and the backdrop of the setting sun made her almost glow. Your heart felt so full as you settled into the sand for your routine, Spinel encircling her arms around you and letting you get comfortable.

But as the time passed, your mind drifted to thoughts of the future once more, stressing about all the change that was going to happen. You let out an unconscious sigh, sinking further into Spinel’s embrace. She leaned her head down onto your shoulder, planting a kiss on your cheek.

“You all right doll? You’re rather pensive tonight,” she remarks, whispering softly next to your ear.

“Ah, I’m fine, hon, don’t worry about me. Just a long day,” you fib. You could hold off talk about the future for a little while longer... you had time. Just not as much of it as you would like.

“Mmm... ok. I love you,” she replies, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You shiver at the closeness, and at her words. You let the calm wash over you and clear your thoughts, deciding to not stress about things you can’t control. It was just you and Spinel tonight, and you were perfectly content with that.

The next morning, Spinel walks you to work as normal, and you expect her to rush off to Little Homeworld as usual- her and the New CG’s had become quite close, which you loved. You still hadn’t had the opportunity to go see them between work and spending alone time with Spinel, but you were hoping to change that before the summer ended.

Today though, Spinel seemed to linger longer than normal, holding you tight to her chest.

“Spinel? You all right?” you ask, muffled by her body pressed to you.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry doll. Just uh... mind if I sit in the café again today? You’ve been working so much lately and I kinda miss ya...”

Your heart swells and you squeeze the pink Gem tighter before pulling back to look up at her.

“Of course you can, hon. You can do whatever you feel like, you know that. Besides, I’ve been missing you too a bit. I always love when you hang out here.”

You grin at each other, and walk in together. You give Spinel’s hand a quick squeeze before heading to the back to get ready for the day. Luckily today was a shorter shift, even if it was an early one- only about five hours, so you’d be out by the afternoon. Plenty of time to spend the rest of the day with your favorite person.

You busy yourself cleaning and getting the machines ready for the inevitable rush of customers that will show up soon. You watch Spinel take her usual place in the corner, pulling out a book stored in her Gem. You smile at the sight, face flushing when she glances up to meet your eyes and give you a radiant smile in return.

Not wanting to be reprimanded for being distracted, you turn back to what you had been doing, and sure enough, more and more customers start trickling in for the morning rush. The time thankfully passes quickly, and by the time the rush slows, you’re halfway through your shift. The bell dings as the last customer for the time being leaves, and you slump against the counter, hanging your head down for a moment. While the influx of customers may help time pass, it’s definitely hard work.

The bell dings once more, signaling someone else entering the shop. You groan quietly before lifting your head, prepared to give a cheery greeting.

“Y/n!”

Steven exclaims happily before you can say anything, and you grin at the teenager, before your eyes slip past him to the threshold where three more Gems enter.

“Oh...hi, guys!” you call out awkwardly, before your gaze flicks to Spinel, who has turned her head away from the front of the store, a slight blush on her face. You can only hope she’s okay with seeing all of the Crystal Gem’s in the same place at once...

“Do you have a minute?” Steven asks, shooting you a hopeful smile.

You nod and take off your apron, and let your coworkers know that you’re taking your break now. You walk around to the other side of the counter and motion them over to the side of the store, waiting to hear what they have to say.

“Hello, Y/n. We just wanted to stop by to tell you about the party we’re having on the beach tonight,” Garnet says softly, “and to invite you to join us.”

“A-and Spinel too!” Amethyst interjects, glancing over to the pink Gem in the corner. Spinel jolts at the mention of her name, and stands up slowly, slinking her way to the front to stand next to you. You notice she avoids meeting anyone’s eyes, until she takes your hand and seems to gain some courage from your presence.

“Why now?” she asks, voice lower than normal. You raise your eyebrows and squeeze her hand as a warning- you don’t want to cause any more of a rift between you and the Gems.

“Everyone’s coming who can make it, and...well, I haven’t gotten to throw one of these parties for a while. Y/n, you’ve been to a few of them I think?” Steven replies, giving you a small smile.

You return it and nod, trying to be as relaxed as possible. “Yeah, and that was back before we had so many new people and Gems in town... this must be a pretty big party you’re planning!”

You glance up to Spinel and she meets your eyes, her gaze softening slightly.

“It sounds really fun, Steven. I know I want to go... what about you, Spins?” you ask her.

She meets the eyes of each Gem in turn, before looking to Steven last, who wears a hopeful look.

“Yeah...yeah, let’s go,” Spinel sighs, conceding finally. You catch a small smile on her face as everyone celebrates quickly before heading out.

“She must have been relieved to be included,” you muse, watching her watch the Gems leave. You turn your gaze from Spinel to Pearl as you notice her linger in the doorway, back turned. She hadn’t said a word this whole time, mostly keeping to the back behind Garnet.

But she turns back to face you before leaving, and simply says, “I’m...glad you’re coming. Both of you.”

Before you can reply, she darts out quickly, leaving the café empty once more except for the workers and Spinel.

You sigh and turn to your girlfriend, who is staring at the front door.

“You all right?” you ask softly, circling your arms around her waist and gazing up at her.

“Y-yeah, just... hadn’t expected all of ‘em to show up for the invitation,” she replies, still gazing absentmindedly to the front of the store.

You tilt your head quizzically. “Did you know we were gonna be invited?” you ask.

She finally tears her gaze back to you and raises her brows. “Oh! Well, yeah, Peri and the others mentioned it a few days ago...Sorry, I didn’t think to tell you. I guess I just figured Steven would just tell you while getting his coffee, or somethin’.”

You smile and shake your head, taking a couple steps to stand next to her. “I’m not mad or anything. I’m glad you weren’t surprised by it for the most part, and I’m glad you agreed to go!”

You turn to her and take her hands, being sure to look her right in the eyes. “I know this is a big step for you, love. For both of us. We haven’t... exactly been a couple around everyone yet, but I’m excited to show everyone how much I love you...”

Suddenly Spinel pulls you in tight, causing your face to almost smash against her gem. Luckily you react in time and move your head over. The hazards of dating a Gem...

“That means so much to me, Y/n. Thank you. I want... I want to be braver for you. You make me want to try.”

You press your face into her shoulder, trying to hold back the tears that her words threaten to bring. You’re at work, after all. No crying on the job.

Once you’ve calmed yourself in her embrace, you pull back and beam up at the Gem you’ve come to love.

“You’re already the bravest person I know, Spinel.”

x * x * x * x * x

That night, after getting ready at your apartment in your nicest summer clothes (and after working through some of the butterflies with Spinel), the two of you head over to the other side of town. Steven always throws a great end of summer party, but you are not prepared for the sight you see as you round the corner.

A giant dance floor lays on the sand, much like the one present for Garnet’s wedding way back when. Not that you had been there, since you had still been finishing up college finals at the time, but you had seen pictures and heard Steven talk about it enthusiastically.

But this...this was much bigger. In front of the dance floor was a stage set up with all the latest equipment, where Sour Cream was currently DJing- and by the looks of it, Sadie Killer would be coming on at some point later. A little ways from the music area, Greg, Lapis, and Peridot were helping set up the food station, which looked to be a giant buffet accompanied by some good old fashioned barbeque. Your mouth waters with the smells that waft over to you on the sea breeze.

“Whaddya say, doll? Wanna go mingle?” Spinel asks, taking your hand.

“She’s definitely different from the scared and angry Gem I first met...” you think happily. You nod in response and she leads you past the dance floor towards Lapis and Peridot, who turn and smile as they see the two of you approaching.

“Spinel! Y/n! You’re just in time for sustenance!” Peridot calls out in her raspy voice.

“Oh yeah? What do you guys have for us today?” you ask, greeting them with a smile.

“Just the basics, stuff we normally like to grow. Corn, potatoes, the usual,” Lapis answers, “and I think Greg and Steven are working on the main courses on the grill!”

“Yeah, it smells delicious!” you reply with a grin, glancing past the buffet table to the multiple grills set up that the father and son are manning (with the help of a few other Gems).

“Maybe I’ll finally try some food,” Spinel banters, half-joking. “Really though, it all looks so... fun! Nothing like the few Homeworld balls I got to go to...”

Lapis scoffs and rolls her eyes good naturedly. “Well, trust me. You’ll have much more fun here. But it can get pretty loud and busy. So don’t feel bad if you get overwhelmed- I know I did the first few times we did something like this.”

Spinel nods and looks gratefully at her new friend. “Thanks, Lapis. Still, I’m pretty excited to check everything out...”

She trails off and eyes the dance floor, making you chuckle.

“All right, dork, you wanna dance?” you ask fondly. She nods eagerly and starts to pull you away.

“We’ll talk to you later, guys!” you call to Lapis and Peridot as Spinel drags you off. They share a knowing glance and wave, leaving you to follow Spinel.

“Kinda eager, aren’t we?” you ask, raising an eyebrow as Spinel leads you to the base of the stage.

“Well... last time we were at a concert together, I wasn’t exactly myself. And I didn’t get to dance with ya,” she replies, bending down to whisper close to your ear, “and you just look so damn good in that outfit... I wanna show everyone you’re mine, dollface.”

You flush immediately, and pull back to look up at Spinel.

“H-hey now, no teasing...” you reply, ducking your face away from her gaze.

“Heh. Fine,” she smirks, clearly happy with your reaction. “But I still wanna dance with you, toots.”

She grabs your hands and spins you to face her once more, a grin on her face that is entirely too smug for your liking. You roll your eyes, but can’t help but smile. It’s nice to see her putting herself out there, after all. Even if it means suffering a little PDA.

The two of you dance to Sour Cream’s techno rave beats for a while, though you wouldn’t consider yourself much of a dancer. Spinel seems to think otherwise, though. She smiles happily every time you let yourself get lost in the music, and eventually you stop caring about what anyone thinks. Spinel does her own form of dance, being the limber Gem that she is. She tries to copy some of your moves, and actually succeeds with the majority of them, probably making it look better than you could. Well. She is an entertainer, after all.

Around the twenty minute mark you’re starting to get a bit sweaty (and hungry), but luckily Sour Cream announces a break in the music- Steven has just informed him that the barbeque is ready. You and Spinel rush over with about half of the guests from the dance floor, mostly all human, and get in line for a plate.

“Damn, this looks amazing!”

You turn at the gravelly voice that sounds out behind you and grin.

“Hey Amethyst! Fancy seeing you here!”

The purple Gem nudges you and winks before saying, “And who’s your hot date, huh?”

Spinel flushes a deep magenta and shifts behind you, as if trying to hide. Not that she’s hidden at all- she's a good head taller than you.

You glance over your shoulder and give her what you hope to be a comforting smile. “She’s just teasing, Spins. She knows you’re mine.”

You turn back to Amethyst and cock an eyebrow. “Right?”

“Pff. Duh, nerd! Once you get past the whole trying to destroy the earth thing...and the kidnapping thing... you guys are pretty cute together.”

“Y-yeah?” Spinel asks tentatively, stepping back to your side once again and clasping your hand in hers.

“Yeah! I saw you on the dance floor. You were really tearing it up. Both of you,” Amethyst replies with a laugh. “Spinel, you gotta teach me your moves some time. Maybe later tonight?”

She smiles calmly up at Spinel, whose eyes widen as she grins hesitantly back at the purple Gem.

“I think you’ll have to loosen up a bit more,” she replies, wiggling her arms with a grin, “but... I could give it a try.”

The two continue talking, with Spinel sounding more and more confident as the conversation goes on. The chat continues as the line for food moves up inch by inch, and your heart swells watching them talk. You’re so glad at least one of the Crystal Gems is making an effort. A few years ago you would have expected Pearl or Steven to be the first to approach the two of you in this sort of situation, but... Amethyst has matured amazingly in these past few years.

Speaking of Pearl...

Your mind drifts to thoughts of your once closest friend, and your eyes search the party, unsure if you’re hoping to find her or not. Your stomach jolts as you spot her on the other side of the beach, chatting with... a Pink Pearl? You hadn’t seen her around before; she must be a new arrival. You’re about to turn back to Spinel and Amethyst, when Pearl’s eyes find yours, and your stomach jolts once more. Her eyes widen and her face flushes a light blue, and she quickly turns back towards the Pink Pearl, but glances at you every few seconds.

“Shit. I guess I gotta talk to her now. Can't avoid it forever...”

You sigh and step between Spinel and Amethyst, who are still happily chatting away.

“Guys, I gotta... go do something alone real quick. Spins, hold my place in line please? And if you reach the food before I get back, uh... just grab me some chicken or something.”

You reach up to give her a quick peck on the cheek, and stalk off towards Pearl before nerves can get the better of you. You have no idea what you’re going to say or how she’ll react- she could barely look at you this morning when they all showed up to invite you to the party. You don’t know if she’s still mad, or just upset, or shy... whatever it is, this needs to stop. You don’t want to leave for school in a few weeks without fixing things between you two.

“...And another time, Greg tried to fuse with Rose- uh, Pink. It was quite the sight, at the time we didn’t think fusions between Gems and humans were possible. Steven proved us wrong with that too, as he has with so many other-”

You walk up to the Pearls, trying to be as non-invasive as possible.. You catch the tail end of some story Pearl is telling, which halts the second she spots you. Once again her face flushes, and she places a hand on her hip, clearly trying to show an air of confidence.

“Volleyball, why don’t you go find Steven and the others? I’ll...catch up with you later.”

Pink Pearl- Volleyball?- nods quickly and brushes past you, giving a small smile and a nod before she leaves.

“Volleyball, huh? That’s an... interesting nickname, even for a Gem.”

“Oh, Steven thought of it a few days ago...” Pearl replies with a roll of the eyes, “not his best, but I’ll come up with something better eventually. Can’t exactly call her ‘Pink’.

“Guess not,” you say awkwardly, halting the conversation. You stand there a moment, just fidgeting, willing the right words to enter your head.

“Y/n-”

“Pearl-”

You both start at the same time, interrupting the other simultaneously. You both giggle awkwardly, and you feel the tension ease, somewhat.

You sigh and start speaking first. “Pearl, listen, I... I can somewhat understand why you were shocked when I came back with Spinel the way I did. I know it seemed like I was defending all her past actions and just writing off all the wrong she did but I promise that’s not the case. I really struggled with it for a while on the island, and I’m not saying she’s perfect, but... she wants to learn, and grow, and change. Just like all the other Homeworld Gems who have showed up since Steven dismantled the empire. And she’s making the effort, she’s made giant steps these past few weeks. Can’t you just-”

Pearl cuts you off with a tight hug, almost startling you enough to make you cry out in surprise. But you keep it together enough to finish your thought.

“Can’t you just give us a chance?”

Pearl stays still for a moment, arms still wrapped tightly around you. A few years ago this would have had you blushing like mad, but now you’re just confused.

“Oh, Y/n... I was never mad at you. And I haven’t been upset with Spinel for a while now, either. Not after watching how happy she makes you. I was just...”

She pulls back finally, hands still on your shoulders. You’re surprised to see tears forming in her eyes, which she wipes away quickly before you can comment.

“I was just so worried about you, that first day you came back with her,” Pearl continues, “I had no idea if she’d manipulated you into caring for her, or if she had hurt you somehow... and then I gravely misunderstood what you were trying to tell me. I made her- and you- so upset.”

She sighs and takes a step back, dropping her arms. “The reason I haven’t been... around... I was just too ashamed, I suppose. I was brash with my assumptions when you got back, and knowing how Spinel probably still feels about me, I thought it was best I keep my distance. But mostly I was just embarrassed.”

She stops speaking, though she seems like she wants to say more but can’t find the words. Her eyes are downcast to the sand, her gaze searching the grains for what to say next.

“I guess I should just say... I’m sorry, Y/n. I never meant to hurt you or Spinel. And I’m sorry I got angry with you when you first got back.”

Your heart lifts at her (admittedly long overdue) apology. Finally- this was all you had wanted to hear. You had stopped being upset with her a while ago, but you had wanted her to make the first apology, so you’d waited for her to come to you. It seemed that just wasn’t her way- habits were hard to break after thousands of years of keeping them. But still.

“Pearl... it’s okay. Really. I can appreciate the fact that you were worried for me... and trust me, I know how it looked when my... kidnapper and I rode back into town holding hands. I can't fully explain It, but even before she took me it felt like we were connected, somehow. Even when she was rejuvenated. I just... can you trust me that being with her is my choice?”

Pearl nods, tears once again forming in her eyes. She’s always been an easy crier.

“Of c-course, Y/n. I just want you both to be happy. Spinel... after what Rose did to her, she deserves that much.”

“You’re damn right.”

Both you and Pearl jump slightly as a voice sounds out of nowhere, and you turn to see Spinel approaching with a plate of food.

“Sorry doll, just didn’t want your food to get cold or anythin’,” Spinel continues, moving to stand next to you. "Besides, I... wanted to come chat with ya.” She looks to Pearl, whose gaze flickers between the two of you.

“O-oh, well, that’s fine! It’s nice to see you again, Spinel,” Pearl replies nervously.

“Well, ya don’t have to lie, but thanks all the same.” Spinel’s accent grows heavier, something you’ve noticed that happens when she becomes emotional in some form.

Pearl sigh and crosses her arms, slightly agitated by the provocation. “I’m not lying... I was just talking to Y/n about everything that’s happened. And how... I’m glad you two are together. Really.”

Spinel hands you the plate which you take quickly, catching the determined look in her eyes. She takes a few steps to stand face to face with Pearl, and you briefly wonder if she’s going to start something again-

But Spinel holds out her hand, mimicking something you’d taught her a few weeks back for meeting new humans.

“Thank you, Pearl. And I just wanna say... I’m sorry for what I did, too. Kinda probably worse than you bein’ upset with me and Y/n, here, but... I appreciate you trying. I just want you to know I’m trying too. I know you and Y/n were close in the past, and I don’t wanna stand between that or anything. So... friends?”

Pearl stares hopefully up at Spinel for a moment before taking her hand gently in her own.

“Friends.”

After a few awkward smiles, the three of you head back over to rejoin everyone, something you’re very grateful for. You’re not sure if you could have handled more of... that. Plus, now you can catch up with Steven and the others you haven’t gotten a chance to talk to yet!

Spinel stays by your side the whole time while you eat and chat. She doesn’t say much to the group at large, but when Steven, Garnet and Pearl slip off to mingle some more, Spinel seems to loosen up a little. She jokes with Amethyst, Peridot and Lapis, and is visibly pleased when Bismuth finally shows up.

“Hey, Biz!” Peridot calls out to the approaching Gem. “Where have you been? You missed our wonderful display of farmed goods.”

“Yeah, it’s... pretty much all eaten now,” you add on, “but damn was it good. All of it.”

“Heh, sorry guys. I was just finishing up something in the forge,” Bismuth explains with a smirk, “A little... welcome to Earth present, if you will.”

You cock your eyebrow in confusion as she turns to Spinel, now fully grinning at the pink Gem.

“F-for me? Aw, Bismuth, you didn’t-”

“C’mon now, it’s nothing! I wanted to.”

“Well, okay... what is it?” Spinel asks, trying to mask the eagerness in her voice.

“I know you weren’t exactly built for fighting- like most of us Crystal Gems,” Bismuth says with a chuckle, “and I remember you telling us once that you don’t have a weapon of your own, which is why you nicked that rejuvenator in the first place. And I know it’s not like we have much fighting left to do, but...”

Bismuth pulls an object from her smock’s pocket and holds it out for Spinel to inspect. She takes it tentatively, curiously inspecting it for a moment before her eyes light up.

“Oh my stars. You didn’t.”

Bismuth places her hands on her hips and laughs heartily. “Hey, you seemed like a natural with the thing, from what I’ve heard. Don’t fix what’s not broken, right?”

You purse your lips together, still not totally sure what it could be, before Spinel takes a few paces back from everyone and pushes the button on the side of the object.

On the side of her scythe.

“Ohhhh,” you breathe out, fighting the urge to smack your forehead. You watch Spinel inspect her new weapon with wonder, and you do the same from afar. It’s definitely not a rejuvenator, luckily, but other than that small detail, it’s almost exactly the same, down to the gem at the top. Though this one is distinctly more... pink.

Spinel makes sure she’s out of range of anyone, and she gives it a few test spins. Her grin grows almost wicked, her eyes wild, and your heart leaps in your chest. Now that she’s not threatening anyone with it, it’s almost... attractive to see her like this. You briefly wonder how fun it would be to train with her, fake fighting, ending up in a sweaty pile at the end-

“So, you like it, right?” Lapis interrupts your thoughts with a bemused smile as Spinel sheathes the weapon.

“Are you kidding? I love it!” Spinel exclaims happily, phasing it into her gem. “Best present ever. Well... second best,” she finishes with a coy look towards you, causing you to avert your eyes and flush, flashing back to the thoughts you were having moments ago.

“Good. I thought you might,” Bismuth says proudly, “took me all week to forge that thing. Wanted to get it just right.”

“Really... thank you,” Spinel says sincerely, stepping up to the group and meeting Bismuth’s eyes. “You guys have made me feel... accepted, since I’ve been here. I didn’t think I would find that anywhere else except with Y/n. I’m glad to have been wrong.”

“Oh stars, stop with the speech and c’mere,” Bismuth teases good-naturedly, pulling her into a hug. Peridot and Lapis follow suit, encircling your girlfriend who looks amazingly contented, eyes closed. For the umpteenth time this night, your heart swells with joy. This is all you could have wanted for her.

As you gaze at her, Spinel opens her eyes and stretches her arms through the cluster of friends and pulls you swiftly to her. You giggle nervously, hoping Bismuth and the others don’t mind the addition of a human. But they all join in with your giggling, until Bismuth is wrapping her arms around the group and lifting everyone at once, causing the four of you caught in her embrace to squeal with laughter.

“Damn, looks like a love fest over here!”

The hug splits apart, and you wipe at the happy tears that had begun to form in your eyes. “Oh, hey Amethyst! Spinel got a gift from Bismuth and then the group hug got carried away,” you explain, still giggling slightly.

“Hey, that’s great! You’ll have to show me whatever it is later,” Amethyst says, turning to Spinel. “But for now you guys have to come back to the stage! Sadie Killer is about to go on!”

Spinel gasps and rushes to grab your hand, excitement plain on her face.

“We have to go dance!” she exclaims, and without waiting for a reply she begins to drag you back to the dance floor, a spring in her step.

“I’m so glad she’s happy here,” you think, “I can’t ask her to come with me to Empire City now... can I? Not after she’s making so many new friends...

You shake your head and follow her to the front of the stage, where Sadie is taking the mic to introduce the band.

“I’m so excited!” Spinel cries out from her place beside you. You smile and wrap your arms around her small frame, giving her a quick hug before the music starts. You want her to know you’re excited to just be here with her.

The two of you get pretty into dancing once again, and even wind up in a big dance circle with a bunch of Gems and humans, everyone taking turns in the middle to show off. You sit that part out, but Spinel grows bold and rushes in at the tail end of a song, stretching and moving to the beat. You clap happily along with everyone once the song and her dance ends, and as she walks back towards you, you hold out your arms for another hug.

“Proud of you,” you mumble as she steps into your embrace, resting her chin on the top of your head.

“Thanks doll... I’m just havin’ so much fun. I love it here,” she replies, and your heart pangs. You really can’t ask her to leave this behind.

The band starts to play a slow song, and Spinel pulls back to look into your eyes.

“Dance with me?” she asks, already swaying the two of you to the beat.

You chuckle and reply, “Obviously.”

You show her the traditional positions for slow dancing, and you listen to the song while gazing into her deep pink eyes. There’s nothing you don’t love about her face- tear marks and all. You move your hand from her shoulder to her cheek, stroking the black lines you’ve come to love so much. She shudders at your touch, eyes fluttering closed, and leans into your hand. A smile finds its way to her face as you stay like that for a while, dancing all but forgotten.

As the song ends, she opens her eyes and gazes at you with what could only be described as pure love. Before you can say anything, she encircles her arms around your waist tightly, and pulls you in for the sweetest kiss you’ve ever known. Your eyes close with bliss and you forget where you are, all sounds around you are blocked out.

There’s only her.

x * x * x * x * x

You dance a while longer before the band announces the end of the party, and Steven goes up on stage to make his usual end-of-summer speech. You only half listen, fretting nervously about the talk you know you need to have with Spinel about what the end of summer means for you. You grip her hand tightly as she listens to the speech, not that she seems to mind.

Once the party is all wrapped up and everyone begins making their way back to Beach City or Little Homeworld, you and Spinel make the rounds to say goodbye. Bismuth and the others make you promise that you’ll take some time to come visit them with Spinel, so they can finally show you around properly. You agree readily, which makes everyone pleased, especially your girlfriend. You know she’s been wanting you to visit for a while, and you really do want to go, even if it means taking time off work.

After you’ve said your goodbyes and goodnights, Spinel turns to you, her face slightly weary but still smiling.

“Well, should we head home too?”

“Mm... do you want to watch the waves for a bit?” you ask, hoping your nerves don’t find their way into your voice.

“Sure, doll. You know I love sittin’ out here with ya.”

You walk closer to the water and she plops down, pulling you with her gracefully. You get situated in your usual position, and stay silent for a few minutes as you gaze out into the dark waters.

Finally, though, you know you need to bring it up.

“Spinel... I need to ask you something. And tell you something.”

“W-what? Okay... what is it?” she asks nervously, arms tightening around you.

You stay facing out towards the ocean as you reply, “I don’t... know if you remember, but... ah, there isn’t an easy way to say this. I have to go back to Empire City soon to finish my last year of college.”

“Oh. Yeah, I remember you mentioned you live there most of the year... why?”

“Um. Well, I guess I just.” You swallow, your throat running dry, “I just don’t know if- I mean, you’ve been making such good friends here with everyone and I don’t want to tear you away from all this when you’ve just gotten used to it, but I guess I’m a little selfish and-”

“Woah woah woah, babydoll. Calm down, take a breath, yeah?” she interjects, unwrapping you from her embrace. You turn in the sand to face her, crossing your legs underneath you as you sit pitifully in front of her.

She speaks before you can continue rambling. “Is this about me comin’ with you or not?”

You nod, still too scared to speak, worried your voice will give away your fears if you do.

“Oh, Y/n... don’t you know by now? There’s never a question when it comes to me an’ you.”

She puts a finger to your chin, lifting your head gently to make you meet her gaze.

“I love you so much, doll. Yeah, I might be makin’ a few friends here, and I really like ‘em a lot. But the whole reason I’m able to do these things is because of you. Because of the strength you give me to go on tryin’ every day.”

You take a shaky breath and steel your nerves. “R-really? You’re not... mad that I’m making you choose?”

Spinel smiles gently down at you, moving her hand to cup your face. “Course not. I’ve already chosen a thousand times over. It’s always you.”

You can’t hold back the tears that spring to your eyes at her words, and you lean forward to bury your face in the crook of her neck, silently shaking. You never expected this. God, you never even hoped for this. But this Gem just keeps surprising you.

“T-thank you,” you whisper, and she sighs happily, tightening her hold on you once more.

“Never thank me for lovin’ ya, Y/n. Never.”

You sit in silence once more, this time simply holding each other instead of watching the waves. Spinel is the first one to break the silence this time, petting the back of your head before standing the both of you up.

“Come on, Y/n. Let’s get you home to bed.”

You walk hand in hand with her back towards your apartment in Beach City, heart full to bursting. You can’t wait to see what the future will bring you and Spinel.

You’ll be ready for it. Together.

#spinel #spinel x reader #spinel steven universe #pas de deux #spinel reader #spinel fanfic #spinel fanfiction #spinel x reader fic #spinel x reader fanfic #spinel su #steven universe #spinel fic

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goldgalaxytea-fanfics · 4 years

Text

Date Night

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/F

Fandom: Steven Universe

Relationship: Original Character x Original Character, Champagne Pearl "Champ" x Black Pearl "Beep

Characters: Champagne Pearl "Champ", Black Pearl "Beep

Additional Tags: Date Night, Fluff, Cute, fan zine, Hundreds of Pearls Zine, Adorable, Dancing, dancing with no music, Watching the Sunset, one (1) kiss, Kissing, date, Pearl Solidarity (Steven Universe), Zine

Words: 736

Summary:

Author’s Notes:

I had the honor of being a writer in the @hundredsofpearls-zine! The fan zine is officially completed so we get to share our full pieces! I had a lot of fun participating in this zine, everyone was so nice and I had a blast creating with everyone!!!💖

⚪Champagne Pearl "Champ" belongs to @coffee-b

⚪Black Pearl "Beep" belongs to Sam

Earth was a beautiful planet. A world full of possibilities. A place where a gem could be what they wanted to be, instead of what they were made to be. For Champagne Pearl and Black Pearl, Little Homeworld was a place where they could be free to simply be themselves.

On Earth, Champagne wasn't a rebel masquerading as an entertainer.

She was just Champ.

On Earth, Black Pearl wasn't a defective blind pearl that had barely escaped an unfortunate fate.

She was just Beep.

The two pearls loved their new home and the freedom it gave them. They treasured every day they got to spend together without the looming fear of being discovered and shattered. They didn't have to worry anymore, they could just be happy. Their favorite days were date nights, a wonderful human tradition they had learned from the other residents of Beach City. Tonight was one of those special nights.

This date was to Beach City Funland, a place on the boardwalk that many gems on Little Homeworld had recommended to the lovers. They had heard many tales about the fun adventures found there, so they decided it would be the perfect place for a date.

The day was beautiful, the sun lighting up the world around them with it's warm rays. A light breeze twirled around them as they made their way to the boardwalk, fingers intertwined and excitement pushing their feet forward faster.

As they arrive, Champ's eyes fill with awe and wonder. Everywhere she looked she saw gems and humans having fun. A human with colorful hair laughed with her friends, a group of amethysts screamed as they spun around rapidly in giant teacups, a ruby and a sapphire held hands as they walked past various food stands, a peridot and a lapis played games in the arcade, and many more sights like those.

Champ described everything she saw to Beep in as much detail as she possibly could. Beep listened, a wide smile spreading across the pearl's face as her lover excitedly rambled on.

They explored the park, hand in hand as they tried everything there was to do. Riding the various rides, playing the Earth games (Champ ended up winning Beep quite the collection of stuffed adorable earth creatures), trying some of the strange human foods, and visiting the arcade.

Lost in their fun they almost didn't notice the sun beginning to kiss the horizon. As the light fades away they journeyed away from the crowded park and down to the empty beach, fingers intertwined as they made themselves comfortable along the water's edge. Soft waves lapping at their feet as they enjoyed the sunset. Champ described the beautiful sight to Beep, the discussion gradually shifting from the transforming sky to how much they loved their new home. The stars rose as they talked, their words expressing their joy at finally being able to just live their lives and be happy together.

As the last traces of sunlight faded, so did their voices. A comfortable silence took over, a moment of peace as two pearls just enjoyed their freedom.

Champ is the first to break the moment. She stood up, pulling Beep up with her. Yellow fingers held tightly onto grey ones, refusing to part for even a second. Champ used their locked hands to bring Beep close, gently guiding her lover's free hand onto her shoulder. Champ rests her other hand on Beep's waist, feet stepping to the side as she used her hold to guide her lover along. She led her in a dance along the shore, two sets of feet marking their path before the waves washed them away.

They had no music to follow, other than whatever random rhythm they made up along the way. It wasn't a graceful dance, but it was beautiful nonetheless. The melodic sound of laughter filled the silence as toes were stepped on, as feet tripped and stumbled, smiles so bright and warm they rivaled the stars that illuminated the two pearls from above.

Champ spun them both around, nearly sending them both into the dark water as they slipped and slid along the wet sand. She used the spin's momentum to bring Beep into a dip. Laughter continued to fill the otherwise quiet night, until Beep closed the distance between their lips. Silence once again reclaimed the night as they kissed.

A perfect end to a perfect date.

Notes:

Physical orders are no longer available but you can still buy the PDF for only $2 HERE!

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andrewmoocow · 4 years

Text

Steven Universe: The Fantastic Mutants chapter 4: The Deadpool and Peridot Show (originally posted on August 29, 2020)

AN: Welcome back to The Fantastic Mutants everyone. This is a very special chapter because here I have a co-writer, whether I like it or not.

Surprise everyone, it's me Deadpool! Since this kid refuses to get his writing done quickly, I've taken it upon myself to "help" him out since no one can understand me better than me. Now then, back to my cohost here.

Yes, Deadpool of all people has decided to help me. Though I'd rather do all of this myself without any distractions.

Kinda like how this author's note is distracting us from the actual main event! Now let's just get this rolling already!

We begin on a talk show set in a blank white space, inhabited solely by a drop-dead handsome mercenary dressed in a beautiful shade of red with hints of black that was currently tearing it apart for no good reason. You know him, you love him, it's the sexiest anti-hero to have ever graced this dying industry, Deadpool.

"Thank you, thank you all!" yours truly bowed for an unseen audience as he finished tearing the set apart. "Now if all y'all have been lying under a rock since like, I don't know, '91, I am known as Wade Winston Wilson. I was created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Niecieza for The New Mutants #98 in February 199-"

"Wade, I believe everyone knows who you are already." My white thinky-box, represented by a bold underline, cut me off. "You're already an Internet legend and of course, there's Ryan Reynolds."

"Can we just can the prologue already?" my yellow thinky-box, also represented by underlining but this time it was in italics. "There's gotta be people coming here solely for us who don't know what's going on."

"Okay wiseguys, you asked for it." the man who looked like a cross between Ryan Reynolds and a Shar-Pei underneath that creepily adorable mask replied. "So in case you guys are just joining us, this is a crossover with the modern classic with some of the most psycho fans in the Internet, Steven Universe." I explained. "Last chapter, our smol sunshine baby of a protagonist was kidnapped by the Master of Magnetism Magneto for some most likely evil science experiment by our favorite evil dictator with a superiority complex to compliment his tiny dick, Doctor Doom. In response, the Crystal Gems have decided that they need more hands on deck, and more characters than this story already needs."

"What does he want this to be, the DC Extended Universe?"

"I'd watch that mouth if I were you buddy." I called the dialogue box out. "Our author here has had experiences with those fans. If that Englishman can think he's free to call MCU fans Marvel Zombies, than he's free to have his own opinion. But someone that fanatical deserves to be called something similar, like a DCheep! Get it, because he's a sheep!"

"Can we please move on? This recap has already taken up two pages and I got real-life things to do." The author begged Wade.

"Okay, okay! Let's get this started already, keep your pants on!" the masked macho-man declared, marching off stage in an alluring fashion. "Cue scenery!"

Not too far from Westchester County, there was a shitty apartment where dwelled the hideously scarred human mutate, Wade Wilson. He was out like a light after the badass battle to the death he totally had last night, no joke. Not even a chimichanga could wake him up, and he didn't care that much for them. Yeah, no joke.

"Come on you sack 'a crap, wake up!" his blind, black, elderly roommate Blind Al groaned while fishing Wade out of bed with a snow shovel. "How much off-screen carnage puts you this much to sleep?"

"Enough for readers to get a glimpse of what I do in my spare time." Deadpool declared as he woke up, looking like he had a fantastic night's sleep. "Morning Al, off to do a crossover, see ya later!" he hurriedly greeted the old woman before leaving his room.

"Should I tell him he's not wearing pants?" Al muttered to herself. "Naw, he'll figure it out himself."

And figure it out he did. Immediately after that scene, Deadpool was wandering around the street fully clothed and ready to get this chapter over with.

"So, can we have our co-stars please show themselves?"

The author complied by dropping Connie, Peridot, Lapis Lazuli, Bismuth and Nephrite into the scene. "Wait, how did we get here?" Peridot wondered aloud. "And who are you?"

"Ooh, I get to hang with everyone's favorite character!" Deadpool cheered. "I've been writing up jokes about the fans I've been wanting to say for quite a while." He added to the readers while searching his hammerspace for cue cards. "Let me see, Molotov cocktail, big-ass cartoon bomb, reminder to sue Marvel & Capcom for leaving me out of Infinite, God knows how many machine guns."

"Uh, while you're looking for whatever it is you want, let me introduce myself." Connie introduced herself. "My name is Connie, pleased to meet you."

"Hey, can you put your cue-card search on hold and say hi to the kid?"

"Ah, here they are!" Deadpool declared as he fished a series of flashcards from seemingly his butt. "Been wanting to do this for ages." He said before clearing his throat, and he began to read off of them.

"Here are some complaints I have heard about Steven Universe. Complaint #1: literally no one can stay on-model because storyboarding is the devil. Complaint #2: Rebecca Sugar is a total butchphobic abuse supporter because she treats Jasper like crap and lets Lapis off the hook despite the fact that she's even worse."

"Please note that these are clearly not the opinions of the author. He's just been around Tumblr a lot and knows just how these so-called 'fans' think."

"Who said that?" Bismuth wondered aloud. "Oh hey, Bismuth!" Wade exclaimed as he just took notice of her. "That reminds me, Complaint #3: Making Bismuth an antagonist in any way, shape or form is racist because all minorities are pretty little angels than must be defended at all costs despite the facts that we're all human beings who have the potential to be complete balls to the wall sociopathic!"

"Okay, now you're just being used as a mouthpiece for the author. Hey buddy, can you stop him by introducing your version of the X-Force?!"

As a way to shut him up, the writer dropped the X-Force into the current scene on top of Deadpool. Their members, aside from Wilson, consisted of big names like Cable, Domino, Bob & Psylocke, to those who are only familiar to movie-watchers like Copycat, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, Yukio, Bedlam & Shatterstar, and even Outlaw & Fantomex!

"How did we get here?" Cable asked the other black-ops mutants as he got up. "Oh hey Natey, knew you'd come along sooner or later!" Wade greeted his cybernetic compadre. "I was just getting myself introduced to these characters that we'll be paired up with for this crossover."

"Hi, I'm Bob, Wade's best friend!" the HYDRA agent Bob cheerfully introduced himself. "Name's Domino." Neena Thurman responded.

"A pleasure to meet you, dearest jeune fille bleue." Fantomex greeted Lapis in a gentlemanly fashion. "You may call me Fantomex. "

"Charmed." Lapis replied.

"Wow, everyone wants Lapis! First Fandral, and now Fanto."

"Can you blame her? She's the writer's fave and top SU waifu! Favoritism much?"

"Name's Negasonic Teenage Warhead." Ellie Phimster introduced herself. "This here is Yukio." She added gesturing to a Japanese girl with pink hair and a big smile. "Hi there!"

"I'm Wade's girlfriend Vanessa, though a lot of people call me Copycat since that's my power." Vanessa stated. "Yeah, totally original."

"Call me Bedlam." Bedlam stated. "And this here is Shatterstar. Unlike the rest of us, he's an alien from the Mojoverse."

"And finally, these are Outlaw and Psylocke." Shatterstar gestured to the cowgirl and the ninja in the one piece. "Nice to meet ya." Inez Temple greeted. "Indeed." Betsy Braddock added.

"So, what brings you to my neck of the woods?" Deadpool asked Connie. "Don't give too much away, cause I already got a basic knowledge of what happened last chapter."

"Chapter?" Connie tilted her head in confusion. "Steven was kidnapped only an hour ago! What do you think this is, some kind of story?"

"You'd be surprised Girl-Who-Wasn't-Actually-Dressed-As-Gohan-In-That-One-Episode." The Merc with a Mouth grinned underneath his mask. Before anyone could move on however, a stereotypical overweight nerd who looks like he doesn't get out much wheeled in on an automated scooter with a plate of brownies in front of him. "And you are?"

"I am simply an SU Critical that wants to congratulate you for making my voice heard." The nerd congratulated Deadpool. "As a way of saying thanks, have some brownies."

"I get it! Deadpool won some brownie points!"

"Don't explain the joke dumbass. The punchline should be coming up now."

As Wade snacked on the brownies, he came to realize something was wrong with them. "Hey wait a second. Yo, stereotype! Why do these brownies taste like literal dogshit?!"

"That's my secret ingredient!" the nerd revealed, much to Wade's disgust and he angrily tossed the brownies on the ground. "It's to symbolize how I believe Steven Universe has gone bad ever since the barn arc ended since absolutely nothing can compare to the amazing character development Peridot got!"

"Oh, it's so nice to see someone notice my splendidness!" Peridot blushed as she felt humbled by the nerd. "Of course, then they had to devolve her into a mindless comic relief who only-"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MINDLESS COMIC RELIEF YOU CLOD?!" the small Gem shrieked furiously before she pounced on the basement dweller and began choking him. "I'll teach you to talk back to me immediately after giving my praises you hypocrite!"

As Peridot continued assaulting the nerd, everyone else watched in either shock, bemusement or in Deadpool's case, pride. "I think I want to be her new bestest friend already."

"But I thought we were friends!" Bob weeped sadly while Bedlam gave him a comforting pat on the head.

"And now it's time for a cutaway gag!"

"Cutaway gags? You gotta be kidding me, we're not Family Guy!"

"Just let the writer do his thing man, it's his imagination!"

"Come on Willy, I know you can do it!" a child version of Deadpool called to a whale in a scene that is clearly a reference to a certain all-time classic "Boy and his non-human friend" story. However just as Willy finally leaped over the rock Wade was standing on, he was immediately harpooned in midair and dragged towards a pirate ship manned by Captain Ahab. "Hey, wrong whale story Habbo Hotel!"

"After so many years of searching, that accursed whale is now mine to profit off!" Ahab and his crew celebrated their capture. "I'm talking sequels and an animated series to start, but the sky's the limit!"

"This ain't the last you'll see of me Old Thunder!" Wade cursed the sea captain as he made off with his prize. "I'll bring that whale home, just you wait!"

"Okay, that's a pretty unique idea for a gag. But seriously, back to the show."

"So, we're here because Magneto has kidnapped Steven with a bunch of Sentinels." Connie recapped to Deadpool while they were out and about in the city. "Now that you know what we're doing, can you tell us what you do?"

"I'm glad you asked Connie." Deadpool declared. "Allow me to explain the only way you Steven Universe characters probably know how. IN SONG!"

"Wait, a musical number, in a fanfiction?! Seriously?!"

"Hey shut it, this is gonna be good!"

"Lights please." Wade announced, shutting off the lights with a snap of his fingers, and turning them back on with another snap. He was now dressed as an Elvis impersonator with Cable, Domino, Bob and Copycat as his band. "What song do you plan on playing?" Vanessa asked her boyfriend.

"Just watch and listen." Wade responded, and began playing a parody of a classic movie song. "Here I go!" he started singing while Cable provided backup on the drums. "Woo! Ah-ha, ah-ha, let me show you what I work with!"

"Well Gambit was in league with a bunch of thieves, Cyclops has almost two thousand tales!" For his first act of insanity, the Regenerating Degenerate made about fifty longboxes filled with comics appear for Peridot & Lapis to rifle through. As soon as they discovered one with Wade fighting a vampire bat creature on the cover titled "Deadpool: The Gauntlet," the Deadpool on the cover continued the song.

"Well my friends, you're in luck cause up your sleeves, you got a kind of guy that never fails!" After Deadpool emerged from the issue Peridot was holding, he shot down various villains emerging from the other comics while singing.

"You got a real badass in your corner now, a real Wolverine type in your camp!" he then demonstrated by transforming his face into that of Logan's and then back again before letting bullets rain from above. "He can shoot, kablam! Bullets galore, all you gotta do is say my name!" Wade crooned. "And I'll say: 'Miss Peridot and Lapis Lazuli, what will your pleasure be?'"

As he sat the Gems down on a beach blanket, Deadpool then assumed pirate attire and set a heavy treasure chest on the ground. "Just give me a guy and I'll shoot him down, you ain't had a mercenary like me!"

Peridot began to excitedly open the chest while Lapis rolled her eyes. "Life's like a treasure chest," Wade's disembodied voice continued. When the treasure box was opened, the mercenary exploded out of it and made gold fly everywhere. "AND I'M GONNA BE YOUR KEY!"

Unlike her smaller partner, Lapis was still not amused. "C'mon, whisper to me what you want," Wade kept crooning, followed by splitting himself into four smaller Deadpools. "You ain't had a mercenary like me!"

"Contractors pride ourselves on service." One of the mini-Wades stated, and then they merged into the prime Wilson while spawning a lavish couch for his two guests. "You girls the hoss, the queens, the Shah! No matter what you wish, I'll be your bitch! How 'bout a few chimichangas?"

"Have some of Sample A, try all of Sample B!" Following the chimichanga rain, Peridot and Lapis were handed free samples at a supermarket before they found themselves on a velvet pillow held by Wade. "Anytime, any day, I'll help you babes. You ain't had a mercenary like me!"

A brief dance number then ensued between Deadpool and his hands. His left hand vocalized and the degenerate replied with an "Oh my!" When the right hand started singing, it was responded with "No no!" Both hands harmonized and they got a "Ha ha ha!" They sandwiched Deadpool between them as he peaced out with a "Zip-a-dee doo-dah!"

When Deadpool returned, he pointed straight at Peridot. "Give me a good badda-yadda-yadda!"

"Badda-yadda-yadda!" Peridot excitedly repeated. "Good, scotty-wop!" Wade then pointed to Lapis. Her reply was more unsure. "Uh, scotty-wop?"

"Everybody now!" Deadpool compelled the readers. "Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

"Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!" the readers answered excitedly.

"Yeah, y'all got it!" Wade congratulated before proceeding to demonstrate his healing factor. "Can your friends do this?" he asked, casually dislocating his arms. "Can your friends do that?" he added, ripping out his spinal cord to bounce on it like a certain stuffed tiger. "Can your friends pull this?" With that, Wade tore his skeleton out of his body and started dancing the Charleston with it. "Out a little hat?!"

Suddenly, Wade's skeleton started filling itself with dynamite sticks on the verge of exploding. "CAN YOUR FRIENDS GO-" The human mutate was interrupted as the TNT exploded, and the clouds gave way to him beatboxing while doing a silly dance.

"Call me the Merc with a Mouth, I am always there. North, West, East and South! So don't sit there slackjawed, all buggy-eyed! I'm here to answer all ya evening prayers!" he continued. "You got me bona-fide certified! A hired gun for your charge affair!"

"I got a powerful urge to help you out! So who's gonna die? I really need to know!" Deadpool said as the song began to reach its climax while pulling a long strip of paper from Peridot's mouth and began rubbing his bottom with it. "You got a list that's three miles long no doubt. So all you gotta do is pay-wayho!"

For the final setpiece, Peridot and Lapis now stood atop a mountain of dead Marvel characters that are so obscure, not even the most hardcore fans knew a thing about them. "Miss Peridot and Lapis Lazuli, what will your pleasure be?" Wade asked tunefully. Peridot then picked up one body, and its head suddenly turned into Deadpool's. "Anytime anyplace, I'll help you babes."

A few bodies rose from the dead, only for Deadpool to shoot them all down. "You ain't had a mercenary, never had a mercenary." He concluded. "You ain't had a mercenary, never had a mercenary."

Bullets once again began raining, along with all sorts of violent weapons as the song finally ended. "YOU AIN'T, HAD A, MERCE-NARY LIIIII-IIIIIKE MEEEEE!"

With the X-Force performing a kickline to finish things off, Deadpool pulled on a string dangling from above. "You ain't had a mercenary like me!" A flickering neon applause sign dropped down, capping off the rather pointless number.

"Well, that was a waste of time that'll never be spoken of again."

"Sincerest apologies to Alan Menken, Howard Ashman and especially Robin Williams. He would've been 69 this year. NICE!"

"Okay you generic-looking monster, time to discover who you truly are!" Connie declared to a captured Sasquatch while she, Peridot, Deadpool, Lapis and Cable were dressed as a certain band of meddling kids and their voracious canine pal. Connie ripped off the Sasquatch's head to reveal that it was a mask worn by an evil parrot with a scar across his face.

"Zoinks! Like, it's a parrot!" Deadpool declared in a beatnik voice. "Wait, a parrot? Is that all?"

"Far from it mein friends!" the parrot answered in a German accent. Suddenly, large robots kicked the walls around them down. "Behold, my Nazi robots!"

"N-Nazi robots?" Lapis stuttered. "Jeepers, this is just getting too weird."

Deadpool then glanced expectantly at Cable, who groaned while pushing up his glasses. "C'mon Cabey, say the line!" he exhorted the cyborg. With a heavy groan, Cable quietly said "Jinkies, run."

"He's right, let's split up gang!" Connie commanded, and the crew were off to the races. After passing by the same flowerpot approximately five times because there wasn't that much in the budget, the five came across a hallway littered with doors.

When Deadpool and Peridot burst into one door, they came out of another not too faraway, same with the others. However at the end of a door, they came across a blue digital ghost with yellow eyes & teeth and a grainy laugh.

"Ruh roh, rit's Rames Rarles the Rindly Rohnny!" Peridot exclaimed, making every word she spoke begin with R before she coughed. "How does anyone speak like this?" she asked Wade. "Because speech impediments are funny!" the mercenary replied. "Now let's move!"

"Seriously, why can't I be Fred?!" Cable complained while emerging from another door with Deadpool by his side instead of Lapis. "Connie gets the cool ascot, and all I'm left with is this bulky sweater and a short skirt!"

"Well for one, that skirt actually looks pretty cute on you." Wade answered with a stupidly cheeky grin on his face. Before anyone else could charge through more doors, zombie cats and dinosaurs that could move without thinking came charging in. "Wow, Scooby-Doo became a lot weirder than when I was a youngin."

Returning to the real world, the Crystal Temps and the X-Force have just plowed through an entire armed squadron inhabiting a conveniently abandoned office building and now had their leader tied up in a chair. "We ain't gonna let all those hallway fights amount to nothing!" Wade declared holding the squadron leader at gunpoint. "We've tried every torture technique in the book: eating your own food, threatening your family, doing a silly dance to some awesome music and yet still you won't talk!" he exclaimed. "So let me ask this again! What does the guy who gave Magneto & Doctor Doom those Sentinels look like?"

"What?" the gunman asked nervously, causing Wade to smash another wall. "WHAT COUNTRY ARE YOU FROM?!" the mercenary shrieked. "What?" the captive continued squeaking. "WHAT AIN'T NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF!" Deadpool yelled. "THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?!"

"What?" the man said a third time. "ENGLISH MOTHER-" Deadpool began, but then he noticed the T-rating and groaned. "ENGLISH YOU BASTARD, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!" he reiterated. "YES!" the gunman finally said something other than what. "THEN YOU MUST KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Deadpool kept yelling. "WHAT DOES YOUR MASTER LOOK LIKE?!"

"We could just beat the info outta him and be done with it." Bedlam advised. "No need for all this Pulp Fiction parody crap."

"Was I talking to you?" Wade asked his teammate tersely before going back to his captive. "Now where was I? Oh yeah! Does he look like a bitch?"

"Now you're just skipping lines!" the gunman squealed in defiance. "What else do you wanna do with me?!"

"Okay, I got another question for you." Wade stated. "Have you had your prostate exam lately?"

"What?" the gunman muttered, fearing what could come next. "In fact, I got just the girl to help me." Wade declared. "Hey Connie, your MILF of a mom is a doctor right? Surely you must know what I'm talking about!"

"Yeah, pretty much!" Connie answered. "Here, lend me your sword. We might need to operate." Deadpool said as he menacingly snapped on a pair of rubber gloves. "Hey author, why don't we cut to another scene before this gets too violent?"

"Now then, what are we working with he-There it is!"

"AUGH!"

Elsewhere, a stereotypical shadowy figure watched from a large video screen as the X-Force tore through his mercenaries. "That masked maniac is onto us!" he growled quietly while pounding his fist on an armrest and turned his chair to face Ruckus, Gorgeous George, Hairbag, Ramrod & Slab, the Nasty Boyz. "You five track him & those rainbow women down and kill them all!"

"Yes sir." The Nasty Boyz complied and set off for the Merc with a Mouth. "Now where do you suppose the merc could be now?" Hairbag asked his fellow Boyz. "My best guess, he's probably at that Hellhouse run by Patch." the Southern-accented Slab theorized. "Hopefully they have room for his head as a trophy."

"Well here we are at Saint Margaret's School for Wayward Children." Deadpool decreed as he suddenly parked a limo that he totally always had in front of the mercenary dispatch center he loved frequenting. "I suggest you try not to look at some of its inhabitants funny, some of them can get a little ballistic."

Entering the bar, the two teams had all eyes on them by all the other mercs at the establishment. "Uh, hello there." Connie nervously greeted one of them. "I don't think you're old enough to be here little girl." The mercenary replied ominously. "Don't worry Jessica, they're with me." Deadpool told the larger man. "So, where's Weasel?"

"Right here old buddy!" the bespectacled bartender called for Wade. "Hey, Weasel!" Wade exclaimed to his old friend while sitting down at the bar and exchanging a fistbump. "I see you're doing well Poolboy." Weasel said to his friend. "And who's the green midget with you?"

"This is Peridot, a member of the Crystal Gems." Shatterstar introduced Peridot. "Oh, you mean those rock ladies that creamed those Chitauri only to get creamed by Thanos?" Weasel asked, making Peridot pretty mad. "Hey, we creamed Thanos right back!"

"We're looking for information sir." Connie said to Weasel. "A friend of mine has been captured by Magneto & Doctor Doom using those Sentinel robots, and we want to know where they've come from."

"You want confidential info little girl?" the barkeep stated. "Go see Multiple Man over there at that poker table, he's usually the guy to talk to since he's a detective."

"Yet one mystery he can't solve is the mystery of why he can never get his own movie."

"ZING!"

At a nearby poker table, Jamie Madrox and some of his duplicates were playing cards with the albino mutant Caliban, and the four Jamies clearly had the upper hand. "All in!" one of the clones declared shoving his chips into the pot. "I know you are cheating Madrox." Caliban informed his opponent. "I mean, there are literally four of you!"

Just then, Deadpool abruptly shot one of the clones dead and sat down where he once was. "Deal me in." he simply declared as if nothing happened. "Caliban welcomes you Mr. Pool." Caliban nervously greeted the regenerating degenerate. "And who is your little friend?"

"You may call me Peridot, the suave, attractive and positively adorable leader of the Crystal Gems!" Peridot introduced herself arrogantly. "So, you more members of the X-Men? Haven't seen you around the mansion."

"Actually, we're members of a different team of mutants." Madrox replied, while his surviving doubles sadly carried their dead comrade away. "There are actually quite a lot of them you see. X-Factor; the one we're a part of, X-Statix, Excalibur, Generation X, the Morlocks and most famously Alpha Flight."

"Half of them sound so late 20th to early 21st century." Peridot commented. "I mean, X-Statix? Talk about totally cool dudes!"

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Is this Saint Margaret's? We'd like to have a word with the owner." A voice came from the other side, catching all the patrons and employees off-guard. All was quiet, but then the Nasty Boyz came crashing through the wall instead of the door. "LET'S GET NASTY!" they all cried out, springing into action.

"Alright, what the shit is going on here?!" Bob "Patch" Stirrat, the elderly owner of Saint Margaret's growled, emerging from another room while stroking his big bushy mustache. "Oh god, it's the Nasty Boyz."

"The Nasty Boyz?" Peridot and Lapis repeated in unison before they laughed at the evil mutant team's name. Suddenly, the wood tables of the bar came to life and changed their form thanks to Ramrod, who used them to restrain everyone aside from Deadpool. "Okay boys, frisk him."

On Ramrod's orders, Gorgeous George used his shapeshifting powers to grab Wade by the ankles and dangle him above the ground. "Let's see what he's got here." Ruckus muttered, fishing through the belongings dropped as Wade was shaken up and down. "Various pistols, swords, nunchucks, staves, forks, a bazooka."

"Most of those were from a Ninja Turtles convention I went to last year." Wade revealed. "Don't know where the bazooka came from."

"Rubber chicken, five month old bag of pizza pockets; that are still warm," Slab continued for his teammate. "Ryan Reynolds's phone number, large collection of nude selfies from Thumbelin-WHAT?!"

To Slab's absolute shock and fury, he found an overfilled file of lewd pictures taken by his sister Kristina Anderson with her phone number on it, along with a message saying "I bet you want more, my raging sex machine!" Crushing the file in his hand, Slab furiously glared at Deadpool. "Wilson, you son of a bitch!"

"Geez Chris, I thought you had a sense of humor." Wade grinned cheekily. "After all, SHE'S YOUR SISTER!" Then like Thor returning Mjolnir to his hand, the mercenary wiggled his fingers to call one of his katana blades back and free himself from Gorgeous George before rescuing his friends. "SSSSSSmokin'!" he hissed before spin-dashing out of the bar.

"After that degenerate!" Hairbag exclaimed while Slab frothed in wordless rage and the Boyz gave chase, leaving the bar in tatters. "Hey, which of you assholes is gonna clean this up?!" Patch exclaimed, but then he answered his own question by handing Weasel a broom.

"Everyone, to the Deadpoolmobile!" Deadpool exclaimed as the X-Force and Crystal Temps piled into the limousine from earlier. "Where did you ever get this car anyways?" Bismuth asked him, and he replied. "Don't think about it!"

Far across the city, Robert Kelly was left facepalming and a colleague of his scratching his head when they discovered that one of Kelly's limos was missing, its place taken by a graffiti message saying "I O U".

"I hate that Deadpool." Senator Kelly groaned.

"You get back here this instant you red-masked c-" Slab called for Deadpool as the Nasty Boyz chased them in a stolen taxi, but his cursing was cut off by Deadpool popping out the sunroof of the limousine to open fire on them.

"Wait, if Deadpool is up there, then who is driving?" Connie asked the group, and that's when Yukio made a shocking realization. "Oh my god, Demon Bear is driving!" she exclaimed pointing to a demonic bear that was taking the wheel. "How can that be?!"

"That's right folks, Lawrence Abrams is here to report that the insanely infamous insane mercenary Deadpool has started an intense car chase where he's hijacked a limo belonging to Senator Robert Kelly and is being chased by a group of other mutants called the Nasty Boyz." Lawrence Abrams said on the television at the Baxter Building, where Garnet, Pearl, Colossus and Wolverine had now caught wind of the event. "And there's also some kinda bear driving the limo for some reason. Why's there a bear?! Who gives a damn! And now onto Sally Floyd with politics!"

"Deadpool." Colossus glowered in embarrassment. "Come my friends, we must go and handle this crisis ourselves." He declared while preparing to leave the building. "But you let Connie go on that mission for her optimism." Pearl stated to the metal mutant while setting Reed and Sue's young son Franklin Richards on the floor.

"We know Pearl, but that maniac is a whole 'nother level of unpredictable." Wolverine grumbled. "And there's a high chance Connie's life is at risk here! Right Garnet?"

"Logan is correct. I can see multiple paths where things go horribly wrong." Garnet agreed with Logan. "Oh, you're leaving already?" Franklin's older sister Valeria asked them. "Mom and Dad were just about to introduce you to H.E.R.B.I.E."

"It's alright Valeria, they still have friends to help." Susan assured her daughter. "Go on Gems, we'll catch up with you back at the mansion."

"It's been a pleasure to be shown around the Baxter Building and meeting the kids Sue." Pearl said gratefully and shook the Invisible Woman's hand. "I especially like how Franklin reminds me of Steven."

"Bye Ms. Pearl!" Franklin said goodbye by hugging the tall Gem's leg. "Oh, goodbye to you too Frank." Pearl replied. "Hey, what about me?!" the Four's AI H.E.R.B.I.E exclaimed irritably. "Don't I get anything to say?!"

"Oy Cain, you gotta check this out!" Black Tom called to Juggernaut while he was watching TV. The Brotherhood of Mutants had stopped to refuel their ship and Black Tom had run off on his own when he discovered a TV shop playing the same news report of Deadpool's car chase. "What say we give Deadpool an old one-two before Mags finishes up?"

"You son of a bitch, I'm in!" Juggernaut exclaimed eagerly, giving his teammate a fist-bump that knocked Tom to the ground. "You okay there?"

"We have your limousine surrounded! Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!" a police officer barked into a bullhorn as they had Deadpool and pals backed into a corner. "I would make a police brutality joke, but even I know that would be too soon." Wade said to the readers as he screeched the limo to a stop, making donuts on the street and damaging numerous police cars in the process.

"Okay, now you're just either showing off or defying us." The cop with the megaphone japed. Just then, a mighty thud briefly shook the ground. And another. And another. And another. And-

"Quit stalling writer, we know who it is! It's the goddamn Juggernaut!" Deadpool interrupted the third-person omniscient narrator. "Literally everyone and their goddamn long lost relatives know who he is!" The mighty Juggernaut continued inching closer to the fanboying mercenary while the police scattered out of fear of him and Peridot poked her head out the sunroof to see what was up.

"Uh, Wade?" the petite Gem squeaked nervously. "You know who that is right?"

"Didn't I just say that it's ol' Juggernaut?!" Wade exclaimed to his new best friend. "Oh, the things I could say about how much of a badass he is! This guy has beaten the shit outta Cyttorak, the Thing, Colossus, Blob & Thor and even called banging She-Hulk a stalemate! Maybe, that last one was actually a cl-"

Before Deadpool could finish the sentence, Juggernaut grabbed him by the neck with just two fingers and brought him very close to his helmeted face. "Hello Wade." He beamed callously. "Hey Cainy, is that new toothpaste I smell?" Deadpool greeted him nervously. "What flavor is it this time, Feeling Bad About Your Shitty Mutant Powers So You Get New Ones from Cyttorak?"

"Goddamn he went there." Black Tom muttered, only to receive a glare from his partner.

"Deadpool!" Garnet called for the Merc with a Mouth as she, Pearl, Colossus and Wolverine entered the scene. "Oh, hey guys." Peridot nervously waved to her fellow Crystal Gems. "What brings you here?"

"We came here to take control of this current situation." Pearl explained. "No matter how much you want to swear and kill and all sorts of other crass activities, we still need your help in saving a friend of ours."

"I appreciate you want me to be more involved in this story Mordecai," Wade said to Pearl. "but can this wait a bit? I'm currently in the middle of worshipping the Juggernaut, bit-"

However within seconds, Deadpool was mashed into the ground by Juggernaut, leaving only a few scattered body parts lying in a puddle of blood. "Oh, so rude!" his disembodied head declared indignantly. "And to think we were buddies at one time Marky-Mark." He then turned to face the audience one last time before the degenerate would meet his not very possible untimely end. "But since I'm literally nothing but blood, my head, a few fingers, an upper arm and my dick right now, let's lighten the mood a little with some more gags, shall we?"

"As if we didn't waste enough time already."

"I love the smell of 372,844 pancakes in the morning." Deadpool declared as he flipped his last pancake and added it to the growing mountain of pancakes. "Smells like victory!"

"Why on Earth would you need this many pancakes?" Bismuth asked while Deadpool turned on the ceiling sprinklers to pour maple syrup all over each and every one of them at once. "Well, that's pretty clever I'll admit."

"Okay Peridot, ace this test and you're on the team!" Wade, now a coach for the girls' swim team comprised of Lapis, Bismuth, Domino, Warhead, Yukio, Outlaw, Copycat, Psylocke & Nephrite, announced to their soon to be newest member Peridot while she prepared to dive.

"This is it Peri, get this right and you'll make everyone proud!" Peridot muttered to herself while adjusting her cap and gazing at Lapis. As soon as Coach Wade blew the whistle, Peridot leaped into the water…and soon began struggling to keep herself afloat in a very exaggerated manner. "AAAAAGH, SOMEONE HELP! LIFEGUARD, COACH, SOS! THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA!" she shrieked for help before the chlorinated water won out and she sank to the bottom.

"I'll save you!" Cable roared while assuming the role of a lifeguard, preparing to jump in the water after her when Wade stopped him. "No no, wait for the punchline."

When Peridot finally breached the surface, she dramatically gasped for air and then frantically paddled towards the end of the pool, grabbing the ledge with a serious expression on her face. "So, how do you like my swimming?" she asked, acting like nothing had happened. However, no one else was there to answer except for Deadpool. "Hey, where did everyone go?!"

"They jumped ship an hour ago because they were tired of waiting." Wade answered. "But you still get on the team cause you really made me laugh."

"Gotta say Lapis, we got quite a team here." Deadpool remarked proudly to his fellow baseball player Lapis. "Uh, yeah, they're great." Lapis nervously replied while failing to get the joke. "So, who's on first?"

"Yeah, and what's on second." Wade responded eagerly. "No, I want to know who's on first." Lapis continued asking. "Exactly! We already established that who's on first, what's on second and I don't know is third."

"Wait, do you not know their names or are those seriously what they're called?" the ocean Gem asked, causing great irritation for her team captain. "Dammit Lapis, you spoiled the punchline!" he reprimanded her. "In fact, this whole Abbott and Costello tribute was just an excuse to see you dress up as Bob again! I mean, can you blame me with those shorts?"

"Abbott and who now?" Lapis remarked with a raised eyebrow.

"You really need to get out more." Wade deadpanned, lowering his eyelids in response.

"Welcome back one and all to Celebrity Jeopardy." Pearl announced, now dressed as Alex Trebek. "Now before we proceed, I'd like to apologize on the behalf of our contestants to all viewers with rather unusual lifestyles. We here at the studio refuse to judge anyone based on how they live, and sincerely hope you accept our apologies. Now then, let's proceed with our contestants."

Deadpool was in the podium closest to Pearl, now dressed as Sean Connery. "Mr. Connery is in first place with only -1 dollar." Pearl began recapping for the viewers at home. "About as many points as your mother gave you!" Wade cackled.

"Classy." Pearl responded crossly before shining the spotlight on Lewis Black, aka Peridot. "Mr. Black now has a score of, shockingly enough, -6,000 dollars." She explained, prompting the small Gem turned abrasive comedian to climb up on top of her podium in the middle. "Is that enough to buy my own bus?"

"And finally, Josh Brolin, now having raised 35 dollars." Pearl concluded while Juggernaut assumed the role of the aforementioned actor many may know as a certain Mad Titan. "I don't feel so good." Cain muttered. "Damn, walked right into that one!"

"Very well then. With introductions out of the way, let's move onto the board." Pearl stated, moving her eyes from the podiums to the categories. "Tonight our categories are Annals of History, Potent Potables, What Bulls Hit, Jokes, Popular Foreign Television, Places with Names Ending in 'Nia' and Video Games." Deadpool then pressed his buzzer. "Mr. Connery, you have the board."

"I'll take What Bullshit for $500 Al." Wade announced with a stupid grin on his face, clearly misreading the category he had chosen. "And I can tell you plenty of things that are bullshit."

"No, it clearly says What Bulls-" Pearl began to correct the masked contestant before she came to a realization. "Whoa! Okay, walked right into that one. Anyways, the question is: "It is commonly believed bulls are enraged by this color". Mr. Connery?"

"I'll tell you something I've hit recently." Deadpool chortled. "Hit up a few bars over the past week while hanging with your mom. She and I had a wonderful time, if you get what I mean! Wink wink, nudge nudge."

"I don't even have a mother!" Pearl ranted hotly. "And can we please return to what was happening earlier?! These pop culture references are nothing but a waste of time!"

"Thank you!"

"Boldface, you ignorant slut."

"Oh no, Wade!" Peridot yelled for Deadpool as she dashed out the limo to check on the puddle of blood and body parts that was once her new friend. "Please speak to us you clod, you can't die like this!"

"That's because I can't!" Deadpool proudly declared and in a beautiful Disney-like spectacle, slowly reassembled himself until he was the full-bodied lovable manic once again. "Healing factor baby! Got it when some asshole tried to cure my cancer, along with looking like a walking tumor."

"Uh hey, remember us?" the Nasty Boyz cried out in unison, catching the merc's attention. "Oh right, you guys. Gotta wrap up the chapter somehow." As a result, Wade opened fire on the evil mutants, shooting them in the arms, kneecaps and especially their dicks. "Oh and Bismuth, Peridot? You guys got Black Tom & Juggies. I'll take Garnet and Pearl!"

"You got it, I guess." Bismuth complied before she and her little friend squared off with Cassidy & Cain, leaving Wade alone against the senior Crystal Gems.

"Hey, what about us?" Lapis asked the writer, who responded by typing, "Didn't think that far ahead. You guys can just do crowd control."

"Okay Q-Bert and Drinking Bird," Deadpool exclaimed. "you two may have thousands of years of battle experience on your show but in terms of franchise ages, I've been doing this for far longer! There was even a graphic novel trilogy where an actually insane version of me killed the rest of Marvel, tons of classic literature characters and even other versions of me!"

"Do you have any idea what he's saying anymore?" Pearl asked Garnet. "I'm not sure. I fear he may be too unpredictable for us to comprehend!" Garnet answered fearfully. "You can try if you want." Deadpool beckoned them with a silly dance. "But I can assure you that hilarity will ensue!"

Pearl leaped at the Merc with a Mouth, but she was quickly denied a hit when Wade did a pirouette and kicked her in the back, sending her flying into a lamppost. "See, what did I tells ya?!"

Garnet tried her hand at attacking by enlarging her gauntlets & launching them at her foe, but they proved to be useless against him. Deadpool then rapidly fired his gun at Garnet, but she blocked all the bullets with her gauntlets and then finally moved so fast, not even Deadpool could catch her and was punched in the face.

"Wow okay, you got the guts!" Wade yelled while readjusting his head from the hit. "Seems like I really am a bit outmatched by you Garnet. Or maybe a certain someone just wants to make things fair!"

"Come on you maniac, what else can you throw at us?!" Pearl asked pointing her spear. "Oh what else can I throw?" Deadpool replied, letting out a sinister giggle while wearing a pair of shiny glasses and clasping his fingers together. "Let me show you!"

Whipping out his katana blades, Deadpool laughed maniacally while using them to tear the background apart, leaving nothing but a blank white space behind. "WELCOME CRYSTAL GEMS TO MY TURF! I PRESENT TO YOU THE FOURTH WALL, WHERE LOGIC IS JUST AS ILLEGAL AS JAYWALKING!"

"This is starting to remind me of that Uncle person." Pearl muttered in awe. "I thought we promised to never speak of that man again." Garnet instructed the former servant. "Well if he wants to make jokes and talk to the audience, then so can we."

When the two Gems joined hand, there was a bright shimmer as the pair merged into the returning glamorous Sardonyx. "Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in-between, the Gem Hostess with the Mostest has finally returned!" the fusion of Garnet and Pearl announced. "And it seems we have a very special guest star today."

"Sardonyx, huh?" Deadpool muttered while scrolling through the Steven Universe wiki for statistics. "Oh I see, she's here because we can both break the fourth wall!"

"A worthy opponent for you I must say!" Sardonyx chortled before smashing Deadpool in with her hammer. "Of course you realize this means war!" Wade roared, proceeding to whip out numerous cartoon guns, launching them all at once. "RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA-RATA!" he screamed while launching lead at his fusion foe, following up with a declaration of "Omae wa mou shindeiru."

"N-NANI?!" Sardonyx cried out in shock before she spontaneously combusted with a cry of "HIDEBU!" However, the explosion cleared up and she was perfectly fine. "Psyche! Hammer time!"

Before Sardonyx could hit Deadpool with the hammer again, he disappeared into a cartoon hole like it were a solid object and reappeared out another. "Ha, that Spot douche should take notes from-OH GOD!"

"Anyone up for Whack-A-Mole?!" Sardonyx exclaimed, proceeding to whack her opponent multiple times with her hammer before he vanished and popped out another hole. And another, and another, and another, and another, until the hiding began to tire him out. "Jesus she's good." Wade panted, and then he began to make a plan. "I swore that I would never use this the moment I stole it from those schmoes, but I'm left with no choice!"

Sticking a hand up his red-clad butt, Deadpool pulled it out while holding a small black jewel that seemed similar to the Infinity Stones. "Ough, I also swore to never use it again because looking for it is a literal pain in my ass!"

"That Infinity Stone isn't canon!" Sardonyx objected while sounding like a stereotypical nerd. "Oh it may not be canon my dear, but we're in the Fourth Wall where anything could happen." Deadpool explained deviously. "With this Continuity Stone, I could warp all reality to my whims! I could use it to go back in time and erase One More Day by preventing Civil War from happening, or maybe beat the shit outta that Judas Traveller prick and his butt-buddies! But what I plan on doing now is using this stone to erase you from this reality once and for all!"

"Oh no, I don't feel so good!" Sardonyx dramatically announced as she felt herself fading away. "I'm melting! Melting! Oh what a world, what a world!" With that, the fusion finally vanished and presumably Garnet & Pearl as well. As Deadpool let out a heavy sigh, he suddenly realized that the Continuity Stone was now missing. "What the?! Where did it go!?"

"Looking for something Ninja Spidey?" a familiar voice rang out. Sardonyx was now back to normal and smugly held the Stone in her hand, setting it down like a golfball and swinging it at Deadpool's eye, causing his body to explode.

"Can I at least get one F-bomb in Mr. Author Man? Please?" Wade begged the author by putting on his best puppy dog eyes until his disembodied head landed in one of Sardonyx's hands. "To be or not to be," she began quoting Shakespeare. "That is the question."

"I got a question." The mercenary's head growled angrily. "On a scale from one to ten, how much do you think I FUCKING hate you?"

"Watch the mouth sonny, children could be reading this!" Sardonyx chortled. "Now then, let's finish this chapter!"

One bypass of the chapter break later, Sardonyx and the defeated Deadpool were now out of the Fourth Wall and back in the real world where the Nasty Boyz, Juggernaut & Black Tom were now nowhere to be seen.

"Okay, I give up!" Deadpool complained while his body began to regenerate. "I'll go with your stupid plan! Didn't really need to treat me like how Pearl killed that one Irishman during the Easter Rising."

"It was an accident!" Pearl exclaimed as she and Garnet defused. "And how did you possibly know?"

"But before we move onto the next chapter, can we make a quick stop first?" Deadpool asked. "There's a joke I think needs resolving."

"You'll never take the whale from me Wilson!" Captain Ahab exclaimed as he engaged in a swordfight with the dread pirate Straw Hat Deadpool and his motley crew. "I'll surrender when I get eaten alive!"

"Funny you should mention that Habbo." First Mate Peridot sneered before she whistled loudly for Willy to breach the surface, breaking most of Ahab's ship and swallowing him whole. "I'll get you for this Wade!" Ahab shrieked vengefully. "You haven't seen the last of me!"

When Ahab was finally swallowed, Willy gave the pirates his farewells and dove back into the water, free again at last.

"What did parodying both Free Willy and Moby Dick have to do with anything?" Pearl asked Straw Hat Deadpool. "You know what? After what I've experienced, I don't think I want to know."

At long last, the chapter is done! Good thing too, because my partner has just started college as we write this and all that education is gonna cut into his freetime!

Yes indeed, the next chapter will take a bit longer to come out because of college. But I still get a few months off soon, so there you go.

Well, that should settle it. You get some free writing done and I won't take your ANDY ONLY stuff. Hasta luego amigo! And be sure to give my regards to your mom!

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