#nice to see the garden bed is already composting

[finniestoncrane]

Jealousy

Rogues Headcanons request: rogues who are jealous of their crush with another partner. i'm so sorry anon this post got messed up by tumblr so i had to delete it and i've only now found time to rewrite it ;-; 💜 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: threats, posessive/obsessive behaviour, violence, yandere bullshit i guess

penguin

oswald cobblepot isn't the type to wait around for someone

someone who obviously doesn't see a good thing when it's standing in front of them

sure he'll pine for a bit

but anyone who doesn't have the sense to know he's the better choice in any situation is too dumb to be with him

however, for the right person (that person being you...)

he might be known to spend nights in his office, avoiding going home to his empty apartment

because it bothers him that you're not there, sitting beside him

curling up to him in bed, waking up to him in the mornings

all the little things that he's missing out on, that someone else now has

it's enough to drive a respectable businessman to some rather cruel efforts to get what he wants

poison ivy

pam likes to think of herself as "above it all"

she's just green, the hue has nothing to do with jealousy

but the sudden, unprompted, and rather intense development of a mini jungle outside of your apartment?

that has everything to do with jealousy

they can bring you a bouequet of flowers, sure, the decapitated heads of something that was once living trussed up in bows

but only she can build you a botanical garden wherever you please

something that keeps living and growing

just like her intense infatuation with you

and the dead weight your carrying around with you will definitely become handy

since they can be mixed into compost for her gardens

victor zsasz

how dramatic can he get? seems like the answer is "very"

new tallymark system: one scratch for every day he's not with you

although, if he really sat down to think about it

his talents could definitey see him go far here, e.g. his skill in the art of disposal

nothing extravagant or showy, no, this has to be secretive, stealthy, surprising

one quick shot to their forehead from a distance

or a pretend mugging, an oddly precise slash to the neck doing the trick

which method of ridding you of this new love of your life would cause you the least amount of psychological damage?

because he's not keen on the idea of waiting around for you much longer

so you have to get over this current obstacle pretty quickly once they've been dealt with

mr freeze

it's likely been a while since he last latched onto someone emotionally

so there's already a deep connection between you, even if it's one sided, and it's difficult for him to look past it

even knowing that you're with someone else

the thoguht of someone trying to take nora from him when she was there infuriates him

and yet here he is, considering doing the exact same thing

it's different though, because he deserves someone nice to love

he's owed someone to care for and to dote after, and to return the favour to him

he'd definitely opt for a romantic gesture to win you over

something magical, like freezing your idiot partner and scooping you up in his arms

and carrying you off to his lair to keep you isolated for decades in near mint condition

riddler

his proclivity for solving puzzles and knowing the answer to everything has kept him awake every night

why are you with someone else and not with him?

why would you ever choose someone else over him?

absolutely bizarre behaviour BUT you just need someone to show you the error of your ways

someone to teach you, to educate you, so you can make better choices in the future

and of course, he's willing to use force if need be

some of his best lectures have been given with a captive audience

sometimes it really is the only way to get people like you to listen

and perhaps, at the end, he'll offer up a little pop quiz, the kind where if you fail it, your head goes pop

how smart is that new partner of yours anyway, hm?

two face

everything comes down to a choice

you just happened to make the wrong one

now harvey might be willing to respect your choices

he's a reasonable man after all

but two face is not taking this absolutely shocking disregard of his feelings well

it's not even up for the coin to decide

it's rampage time

and no one is safe from his intense violence and rage until he has you in his arms

and if that doesn't work, he can always rely on harvey and his brains

that lawyer talk should come in handy when he's arguing his case for choosing him

harley quinn

ok first of all, rude

she's willing to forget about her true love, mr j, and give you a chance

and you're going to pick someone else

hey! it's not her fault she never got around to asking you out

you should have asked her out! you do the hard work, bub!

anyway, her jealous streak is based in a defense mechanism

you are 100% going to be her worst enemy

it's part of distancing herself from you

and a way to avoid any blame on herself for not being quick enough to snap you up

god forbid she's to blame for her own misfortune

mad hatter

jervis is entirely respectful of your choices

it's not your fault that you didn't see him, or notice his affections

and it's not really his fault that he wasn't brave enough to say anything before it was too late

it's just that the universe has decided that you don't quite get your happy ever after yet

every fairytale story requires a bit of drama

a plot twist, to make the sweet, perfect ending more satisfying

he has absolutely no doubt that you'll find your way to him

without the need for any dubious tea or fashionable hats that might alter your beahviour

and then it'll all be the way it should be, you with him

in wonderland together forever

scarecrow

that's fine.

no really, make your own choices, make the wrong choices

the fear of losing you is fascinating and he's fine to hold onto that

but he will be getting revenge, just for the fun of it

see how well your new flame protects you when you wake up from one of jonathan's nightmares

especially when those nightmares feature your new partner

tormenting you, haunting you, terrifying you

oh, wouldn't you like to find safety in jonathan's arms?

well, perhaps he might find the kindness in him to allow that

but you'll have to beg, and suffer sufficiently, first

bane

ok so let's face it no one is arguing with bane or fighting him for your affections

but he's just such a big soft lug

if he saw you, knowing you were happy

even if that meant you were happier with someone other than him

he absolutely would do nothing to disrupt that

his jealousy would be well contained, never cruel or mean-spirited

he just knows that he would love the opportunity to show you what you're missing

the minute he suspects you're unhappy though, he is back on his simping bullshit with you, not brave enough to just ask you out

and you better hope he never gets the idea that your partner is being anything less than wonderful to you

or he'll crush them with one hand

#reblog #finnie writes #riddler #edward nygma #batman rogues #rogues gallery #scarecrow #jonathan crane #oswald cobblepot #the penguin #harvey dent #two face #rogues #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #poison ivy #pamela isley #bane #eduardo sanchez #victor zsasz #mr freeze #victor fries

[dru-reblogs-stuff]

Updates from the Balcony

I know it's autumn, and nothing much is doing in the plant world, but I got a new addition recently, so I thought I'd do an overall update anyway.

So I'd like you to say hello to "Oh shit - I already forgot it's name", which is some kind of Dendrobium. It's another adoptee, this time from the garden of the husband of one of my Mum's personal care clients.

Apparently his had flowered and Mum commented it looked very pretty, so when it gave pups, he offered one to her and suggested I take the other one (because I guess she mentioned I'm also very into my green critters?). Apparently it's 'like an orchid' (having never had an orchid this doesn't help me in the slightest) and won't flower until it's matured a bit more. So that'll be exciting to see what happens with it.

Since I was taking pics anyway, I figured I should do a small round up of what everything else is doing.

The cyclamen is still looking nice in the flower 'bed'. The Armada Rose is going over, I think, and the dianthus is at least still green.

The blueberry bush has it's autumn colours and looks quite pretty, even if those black spots are a little concerning...

It's been determined that the winter heather has indeed gone kaput, which is a bit disappointing. Maybe I'll buy myself another and, like, actually remember to take care of it over summer 😅️

The tomato plant has gone! We had the last few toms off it mid-October when I came back from Denmark, and it finally left the house last Thursday, chopped down into a paper bag to be composted at my Mum's.

Everything else is chugging along. The Aloe got shifted a little from it's previous spot, but doesn't seem to mind. The Bird of Paradise, Zebra and Cactus maybe need a little more water than they've been getting, as the house has retained more warmth than usual, but otherwise are doing nicely.

The Amaryllis is going to be a challenge. Because it flowers during Feb, I've had to set a reminder to start watering and feeding it at the start of December, otherwise I don't think it's going to flower again. If it doesn't, this'll be the third time in a row it hasn't flowered, and that means it's destined for the compost heap. So I'd like to avoid that if possible.

The biggest issue with the plants right now, is this fella:

Sir! You are Spring bulb! You should not be sprouting at this time!

This tub holds the Crocus and Snowdrop bulbs I planted at the end of September. I'm not sure which of the two that is, but I'm very sure it shouldn't be out yet. IDK, maybe I should cover it over again? I don't want it to get frost-bitten... I will keep y'all posted on this miscreant.

#long post #nature #pretty #plants #flowers #fruit bush #my babies #wandering graphics #balcony garden #Dru's Garden

[garden-with-squid]

10/9/23

Call me Mr. DIY cause I made so many new things in the garden these past 2 days 😎

First, the arch trellis!! It’s made from 4 T-posts, a roll of 14-gauge welded wire fencing, and zip ties. It’s about 6 ft tall and pretty sturdy on the sides; not sure how much weight it can handle on the top though. I couldn’t drive the posts very deep because of the gravel floor, so I plan to top off the beds with a few inches of compost to weight it down. Posts were ~$30 and it used ~$20 worth of wire; could have been cheaper but bad!

Today, I finally finished the dragon fruit pot. It’s been a hassle finding something that will fit this trellis thing I repurposed from my parent’s yard because the base is 24” across, including the feet. It also needed a base to sit on the pavement.

Here is the final build: I built a wire cage around the trellis and zip tied the sides/bottom together, then laid felt and shade cloth along the bottom. The galvanized ring is mostly for decoration to hide how shitty it looks. ~$8 worth of wire, ~$2 worth of clearance felt, $20 for the galvanized ring, and way too many hours of figuring out how to make it work. But it looks quite nice with the decorative metal trellis, and I’m excited to see if the dragon fruit like their new home. They had some circling, but decent root formation.

And I also redesigned this part of the patio by replacing the daybed frame with a small table/chair set we already had. I cleaned the pavement and moved some plants over. It’s much more inviting with the greenery, and cleaner than the mattress/fabrics we had on the daybed before. I had my morning tea there while overlooking the garden.

Also also, I’m trying these paper pots with tender rooted plants like peas and nasturtium. If they survive, I’ll bury them pot and all.

Very proud of myself! Everything’s looking great!

#garden logbook #gardening #dragonfruit #seed starting

[jensownzoo]

Late winter garden selections:

Daffodils of course. Purposefully planted 15-20 years ago. Such a lovely long-living plant. I've got many varieties scattered here and there but these are the first to bloom.

Hyacinth. This was a forced-bulb salvage from last spring (someone chucked it after it was spent and I snagged it and planted it). I do love hyacinths, especially the more fragrant ones, but they do seem to get weaker over time in terms of flowering. Even with occasional fertilizer/compost. It might just be my climate. But they're nice while they last.

Spearmint in the new bed I built this past fall. I had three plants started from cuttings taken from alley-growing plants. All of them survived the winter so it looks like I'll be able to add to my mint tea repertoire this year. (The Kentucky Colonel mint I planted in a different bed has also survived) I've got three large earthboxes permanently planted with peppermint already, but looking forward to the variety.

And in the same new bed, all five strawberry plants (two purchased and three from runners) made it through the winter. I did dump a lot of straw over it to help with that outcome, but it's nice to see that it worked.

No pic, but the bronze fennel in the same bed seems to also have survived and I've noticed a few seedlings from the load of miscellaneous flower seed (for pollinators) I scattered over everything.

I did get a row of beets planted in the larger bed yesterday and cilantro seed planted in the cold frame today. The eggplant and pepper seedlings are happily growing in my heated bathroom under lights--the tomato seed will get planted later this week.

We're supposed to get a thunderstorm tonight, so I expect to see more things pop up/start flowering with the continued warm weather. (I also set up the rainbarrels. Last spring I waited and there ended up being a drought, which sucked when trying to get transplants going.)

#gardening #late winter gardening #daffodils #hyacinths #mint #strawberries #fennel #beets #eggplant #peppers #tomatoes #cilantro

[styledeficit]

3 October - 8 October weeknotes

I went to Goodreads to see the reviews of a travel book I’m reading. One person said simply ‘I learned nothing from this book’. Another said it was beautiful. It’s really just a collection of moments on a timeline: conversations, people and places, complicated transport, religious customs and convention. Everything and nothing happens, depending on your point of view and what you’re looking for. Much like life, I suppose. 

I wonder about writing novels. Collecting moments in time and then stringing them together. 

I’m enjoying James Reeves on Atlas Minor as he shifts from fact to fiction (via Phil). He writes beautifully – and selectively. Personally, I’m still going with ‘First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable.’ - Octavia Butler, via Russell. 

This is interesting too. The way we tell stories of our lives can shape our memories.

Monday 3 October 

The sunrise is epic. I watch it through the window, tracking a helicopter as it heads towards town. What a time to fly. It’s probably a private flight to the city. Bound to be men. They must feel like kings. 

Tuesday 4 October

It’s hot out - 14 degrees. But an unremarkable sky, so I litter pick. When I finally decide to dive in for an awkward crisp packet I hear a voice behind me. “Got your old job back then?”. It’s T’s mate - speaking for the second time in 2 years. I right myself, turn around and spin a yarn about a boring job for a boring sunrise – ask him and his mate if they saw yesterday’s. They did. Appreciative nods all round. I think he misses T. 

The size of the damn litter bags really dictates where I walk. It’s not so bad in the park at the moment so I end up walking along the main road, which, frankly, isn’t that nice. But it does need all the help it can get, and it does mean I can fill up the bag. I hear a van toot, assume it’s not for me and ignore it. It toots again. It’s T, obviously. Too late to see, but I know he’s laughing as he’s driving.

Wednesday 5 October

The world’s still black and white. And it’s quiet. Listen to the wind pick up and wonder if I can skip today, stay in bed? Surely it’s about to rain. When I finally leave the house I go from hating the morning to loving it in the time it takes to close the door. What a day! Noisy, blustery. 

“It’s… wild!?” Says a man I’ve seen a lot, but never said more than hello to before. “Yes! And hot!” It is hot. 16 degrees according to my phone. 

The woods are a liability. If it’s not raining acorns, it’s sweet chestnuts. 

As I take the path between the fields, the sun crests the hill. The cows have been moved to the other field and in their place, somehow - in a treeless field - a whorl of leaves catches the light. 

Thursday 6 October

We watched Gardeners’ World last night. As in previous weeks, there’s a strong focus on gardening for drought, and supporting the ever diminishing wildlife. Like ‘make do and mend’, but this time it’s for the climate. Worried we might be making do, but falling short on the other bit.

Meeting in town, so I walked up through Green Park. The flowers for the queen are raked into piles now, snaking behind railings, composting slowly.

Friday 7 October

I wasn’t going to take a bag to the wood. I’m already concerned that I’m “the woman who walks too slowly and says hello to passing dogs and strangers”. I could do without also being the one that’s spotted grubbing around in the undergrowth. In the end I put a bag in my pocket and decided I wouldn’t use it. I’d just take it. 

Then of course, I saw the sweet chestnuts, shining in their newly popped shells and… I’ve never collected them before, but I was curious. And as these were so plump and new – and there’s so many left for the squirrels – I thought I’d give it a try. 

Arrive home with not quite enough time to roast them before an 8:45am meeting. So I wash them and cut crosses in. When I come out of the second meeting I race to the kitchen and whack ‘em in the oven. 15-20 mins later: perfect! They worked a treat and they’re delicious. 

Also, the yew berries are out in the wood. Not delicious (poisonous) but I’ve always loved the look of them. Slightly translucent, and like tiny round, red stuffed olives.

Saturday 8 October

I have things to do, really. Not least, bake a cake with the chestnuts. Also I need to plant some bulbs. And sort out the tomato plants. And go to the gym. Another cup of tea first though.

[rederiswrites]

Red’s top veggies to start with:

So you wanna grow some veggies for the first time, but you have very little space/very little sunshine/very little patience?  Here are some of my favorite picks for

Quick gratification (relatively):

Radishes-- Goes from seed to eating in as little as a month, which is about as fast as it gets. If you don’t like spicy then a) read variety descriptions and find a mild one, b) keep them well watered and don’t let them get big, or c) cook them. They stir fry nicely, and cooking takes out the heat. 

Rattail radishes-- For something a little more space consumptive but lots of fun, look these up. It’s a radish plant, and it tastes like radish, but the part you’re eating--is the immature seed pod. So like, a radish green bean. They’ve always been ridiculously prolific producers for me, IF you keep the pods picked clean and don’t let them mature. Also, they’re pretty:

Lettuce-- Even the big varieties rarely take more than a foot square fully grown. Loose leaf is less fussy, and can be harvested a bit at a time. 30 to 50 days to maturity (garden speak for time from seed to eating, presuming decent conditions. For example, if you planted quite early in spring, the cold weather would probably slow the plant’s growth).

High yield in a small space:

Beets-- Okay I know, not a super popular veggie, because people are wrong and mislead. If you think you don’t like the flavor of beets, I suggest you a) pick some up fresh at the store and try them with a good recipe. Maybe glazed with carrots. Or, b) Try yellow beets. They’re sweeter, and have significantly less of that distinctive “dirt” flavor. Meanwhile, beets are a high calorie, high nutrient crop that grows quickly in a small space, and if that’s not compelling enough, you can eat the greens too, so there’s basically no waste.

Kohlrabi-- Don’t know it? You should. Oh man. So you know how a ton of the veggies we eat are just the logical extreme of a wild mustard plant? Collards and cabbage are all leaf, broccoli and cauliflower all bud, turnips all root? Well, kohlrabi is all stem. Fucken wild, right? And inside, that stem is sweet crunchy solidly edible flesh-- we eat it like carrot sticks, but also good for soups, salads, stir fries...also you can eat the leaves like collards, so again, no waste. They’re fast, problem free growers.

Green beans-- if you have a south wall you can trellis on, or room enough, you can grow runner beans and those are even heavier yielding, but I generally get pounds of green beans off a few bush plants, and they need less than a square foot per plant. Do read carefully to see if your chosen seeds are runner or bush, though, because it makes a big difference to their growth requirements. They’re more prone to pests than the other things I’ve mentioned, so you might have to do some research into your local problems. But then--green beans. Green beans good.

Tomatoes-- A three gallon pot of snacking tomatoes will be all the snacking tomatoes you want. Great patio/balcony plant. 

Not a lot of sun

Leaf lettuce-- Yes, again. Leafy greens generally can usually grow in part shade, and lettuce even benefits from it in hot weather during summer. Most leafy greens will do alright in partial shade, so also pak choy, mustard, ets.

Carrots-- carrots are in some ways not a great beginner crop, because they need good, loose soil. I usually prepare a special carrot bed every year with extra compost and a good dose of sand, and, since I have clay soil, I dig that in quite deeply. BUT they aren’t bothered by partial shade, really.

Leafy herbs-- not the Mediterranean ones like thyme and rosemary, but parsley, cilantro, chives, chervil, and lovage do well in partial shade, and of course the flavor they provide is a disproportionately effective addition to your diet.

There are a lot more; this is deliberately a small dose of information. For those already interested, I strongly recommend digging into a good book, of which there are many. Each plant has its own needs, and you can no more treat two vegetables the same than you can care the same way for a cat and a dog. But that also means that there’s probably at least one vegetable for every situation.

#gardening #red homesteads

[arhvste]

❝ haikyuu boys reacting to getting headlice ❞

an - i couldnt possibly tell you where the motivation to write this came from but here you go

HINATA SHOUYO

-> he doesn’t care. they’re little bugs living rent free in his head? who is he to kick them off his head when they’ve probably settled, made a nice home and got a growing family started? considerate king but disgusting

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

-> disgusted. but also thinks just a few rinses of water will do the trick. he doesn’t understand he’s actually got to get in there and pull them out. miwa is horrified walking into the bathroom to see tobio leaned over the bath with a tub full of cold water he’s ultimately wasted. he’s lucky miwa knows what she’s doing

TSUKISHIMA KEI

-> no mercy. rips the little mfs off his head like nobodies business. his brother can only stare in awe and disturbance. kei isn’t scared over a few bugs they’re only a minor annoyance. he won’t tell a soul he had headlice though and if anyone were to snitch on him, he’d probably shake a few off his head and onto yours.

YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

-> stressed. his hairs kinda long so they’re a pain the ass to get out some may think he’d be a little hesistant to tackle them alone but yams has several lice killing lotions in his bathroom ready to use. he is sympathetic but no way is he letting little bugs crawl around his head while he’s around tsukki

TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE

-> the bugs don’t even get to step on this kings prestine head,, next caller !!

NISHINOYA YUU

-> merciless. who tf do these bugs think they are stepping onto his territory? feral. probably put a few in a jar after pulling them out to bark at them and show them that they’ve crossed the line stepping onto his head

ASAHI AZUMANE

-> have sympathy for the guy they’re gonna be a nightmare for him. more upset than anything. now he’s being reduced to being ridiculed by tiny ass bugs too? give the guy a break. gets them out within the first day because he’s not going to suffer longer than he has to and continues doing the treatment for the rest of the week even though they’re certainly long gone

SUGAWARA KOUSHI

-> brutal. like tsukki he’s got no shame in just ripping them out. suga is the type of guy to catch spiders and gently let them out the window and not kill them. lice don’t get that treatment from him. will straight up throw them down the drain and smirk in the process

DAICHI SAWAMURA

-> just another minor occurrence for him. he’s got short hair it’s no biggie. will probably get his mother to help just to make sure he does it right but overall he’ll get rid of them effectively and quickly you wouldn’t even be able to tell he had them in the first place

KINDAICHI YUUTAROU

-> good. he deserves them. maybe this will teach him to get a good haircut. at least the lice like your cut g

KUNIMI AKIRA

-> tortures them after. probably wets a paper towel to keep them stuck to and jabs at them with a thin needle after he’s got them out. sadist little bitch probably has a deadpan expression while doing it too. the lice fear him across the country and avoid him from now on

KYOTANI KENTARO

-> again he’s got short hair so they’re not too big of a pain to get out but why the hell did they have to pick his head? probably picks them out and just throws them wherever he has no regard for where they land and who might catch them from him

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO

-> little bugs are just chilling no biggie. probably tells the team he’s got them and shakes his head near them to piss them off. oikawa keeps his distance approximately 5 metres and refuses to be included in any rotation makki is in during practice. even after he gets rid of them he doesn’t tell the team and continues shaking his head near them just to ‘keep them on their toes’

MATSUKAWA ISSEI

-> won’t tell anyone other than makki. the two probably pick them out and throw them in oikawas direction leaving their captain confused as to why the hell the two of them keep throwing ‘nothing’ at him. probably gets rid of them within a week and sleeps with a shower cap on so they don’t touch his pillow, that’s his only rule while they spend their vacation on his head

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

-> isn’t scared of no bugs. probably would keep one and press it down just to stick in his childhood bug diary and sneers at how inferior the lice is compared to the other cooler bugs he’d caught before. his hairs short so again it’s not a huge issue for him. he’ll get rid of them quickly and effectively without too much hassle

OIKAWA TOORU

-> screams. begs iwa to take them out for him insisting that it’s his hobby but iwa rejects and leaves oikawa to handle it alone. oikawas sister dips as soon as she finds out and oikawa believes this is the end of his life. after a week of moping and being a brat, iwa gives in and sorts it out for him to finally give him a peace of mind.

LEV HAIBA

-> never had lice before and is genuinely interested rather than concerned. where did the little bugs come from? why do they like his hair so much? is he the chosen one? probably let’s them live on his head for a while until they become infuriatingly itchy and yaku finds out he’s been letting a cult of lice live on his head and forces him to get treatment

KOZUME KENMA

-> thinks bleach with solve it. everyone who hates kenma’s dark roots better be ready for them to go because he will just bleach the shit out of his hair and assume it’s killed them all. for the next few months his hairs gonna be nice but he’ll let his roots grow out again and you’ll secretly hope for him to catch lice again just so he’ll touch up his damn roots again

TAKETORA YAMAMOTO

-> it’s the blonde mohawk that’s the issue. why tf did he have to make his hair to awkward to work with. doesn’t take him long to get out but he probably picks them out walking home from practice or school and just chucks them in bushes or drains he walks past

MORISUKE YAKU

-> you really think he’s about to let some stupid bugs live on his head and not pay rent? absolutely not. has several different brands of lice treatment lotion and uses at least 4 in one go. that amount of chemicals probably isn’t good for you in one go but his only goal is to kill the lice which he achieves. these bugs are mercilessly killed, revived and killed again all in one treatment session

KUROO TETSURŌ

-> this hurt to write knows exactly how to kill them and won’t hesitate in doing so. by that i mean he’s going straight to his grandmother to do it for him because as much as he knows about treatment and such, nobody does anything better than his grandmother and he’ll sit in a chair with a towel around his neck chattering on about his day as his poor grandmother slaves over his head ripping out the stupid bugs from his inconviently styled hair. kuroo’s lucky his grandmother knows he’s her boy

AKAASHI KEIJI

-> bless his soul he’s horrified. disgusting little creatures, believes they’re vermin of the world. mutters in disgust at them as he watches them drown in the pool of water in his bathtub sink eventually sending them down the drain where he hopes they suffer a painful afterlife

KONOHA AKINORI

-> he’s grossed out but doesn’t make a huge deal about it. probably violates himself and gives himself the nickname ‘nitty nori the bug explorer’. he can take a joke and get rid of them in the same week. ugh king shit

BOKUTO KOUTARŌ

-> pain in the ass. he’s excited about these bugs but also worried? do they want to suck his blood? will they crawl into his ears at night? his sisters are the ones responsible with dealing with them and the whole time he’s asking a abundance of random questions regarding the lice and why they chose his head to make their residence

TENDŌ SATORI

-> probably sings at them to make them uncomfortable as he pulls them out. his fingers work magic as he flawlessly picks them out and sends them on their way down to the depths of the drain. the last thing these bugs hear is the terrifying voice of the man who mercilessly sent them to their death beds

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

-> his hairs short it’s okay it’s not the end of the world but rather than killing them he believes they have more use to them. he’s going to throw them in this soil in the garden and assume they work the same miracles worms do. he’ll be disappointed to know that they had no effect on his soil and he wasted his damn time making sure to evenly spread them out of the compost heap

MIYA OSAMU

-> will eat with a hat on. if these bugs are gonna live on his head no way is he sharing his food too. they’ve already taken enough from him. atsumu probably bullies him for his lice but freaks out when osamu tells him that because they’re twins, the lice will seek out his head too and they’ll both be infected. he only survives the short period of time with his lice because of the amusement he gets from watching atsumu consciously stay away from him even to the point where atsumu moves onto the couch. maybe he should let the lice vacate a little longer next time

MIYA ATSUMU

-> hates them. calls them every name under the sun but doesn’t actually effectively try to get rid of them. he doesn’t actually know how to get rid of them but is too embarrassed to admit it so he just lives with it. luckily, the lice decided to move in a few days before his hair was due for a touch up so like kenma, he just bleached the shit out of them and it seems to do the trick. it would be concerning had his hair not needed a touch up though who knows how long he would’ve had them.

SUNA RINTARŌ

-> his little sister notices his hand scratching his head constantly and begins to refer to suna as ‘nit boy’ and only ‘nit boy’. he doesn’t really care at first because surely a single shower will do the trick but his sisters provoking gets so annoying he just ends up treating them 7 times over but not before threatening to leave a few dead ones on his sisters pillow if she doesn’t stop calling him names

ARAN OJIRO

-> again, the lice don’t even get to step on his head. they see aran and they respect him. he seems like a nice and reliable guy so why would they go to the efforts of bothering him? probably nod their tiny ass antennas from atsumu’s hair and let aran go about his day in peace

KITA SHINSUKE

-> lice simply don’t exist in kita’s presence. the second a lice stepped foot on kita’s head, he senses it and ripped the mf off before it could even find a nice area to settle. lice keep away from kita at all times and never intend on crossing paths with him

KIYOOMI SAKUSA

-> an indescribable level of disgusted. refuses to accept it at first, insists that lice simply wouldn’t have been able to touch his head but alas he is wrong. tempted to shave his hair off but then again why should he have to suffer just because some stupid bugs said so. has no mercy, will treat his hair every day for the next month and a half and cusses the bugs out as they fall down the drain

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#hinata shoyou #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #nishinoya yuu #sugawara koushi #daichi sawamura #kyotani kentaro #matsukawa issei #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #kozume kenma #kuroo tetsurou #akaashi keiji #konoha akinori #bokuto koutaro #tendou satori #ushijima wakatoshi #miya osumu #miya atsumu #suna rintaro #aran ojiro #kita shinsuke #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #hq #hq hcs #hq headcanons

[aressss1]

Through Fire and Ice Chapter 7

(Technoblade x Reader)

Chapter 7

<Prev Chapter | Next Chapter

~~~~~~

Niki was a very gracious host; you had come to love her company. She would be gone in the day, helping with the patients the doctor hadn’t turned away. At night she would come and talk to you, tending to your needs. She was extremely easy to get along with. It had been a few days and you saw both Dream and Techno every day that passed. You even got to meet Wilbur, both her and Techno’s friend. They all had an amazing dynamic together.

Your sickness had started to calm down, though you still couldn’t do too much from the fatigue you still felt. Your highlight of the day was Techno, who would come bring Niki some of his already stocked-up food and she would cook, while Techno would read to you. That was a deal made between the two of them, and they both seemed pretty content. Dream was always there watching over you when he could as well.

 Dream was out and about most of the day, finding more survivors and helping them, with the help of his friends Sapnap and George. He loved telling you stories of the events he had been through, both recent and long passed.

 It was the middle of the night and you were having bad dreams, it was easy for them to sneak up on you. Peace eluded you even more so after the recent events. You woke up with a start, the pain still in your shoulder. Pushing yourself up, images of your dream flashing behind your eyes. Blood dripping off the blade, Techno’s friend… Phil… wielded. You were back in that house again in the dream, and you wished you could scrub your memory clean. You were supposed to be safe here, you were…

  You choked out a sob, causing Niki who was sleeping on the floor to stir, you put your hands over your mouth cursing the fact that you had woken her up. The tears started streaming down your face. You could hear the fabric of her blankets rustling beside the bed, she crawled over to the bed sitting on her knees right next to you.

 “A-ah,” Niki leaned forward, “Please… Why are you crying? Are you in pain? What can I do to help?” Niki sounded distressed and you disliked that fact, you didn’t want to be the cause of it. You couldn’t help but shake your head. Your vision was blurring as you started hyperventilating. An overpowering sense of dread settled in your chest. “Do you want me to get someone?” She asked her eyes searching your face. You hesitated but nodded, your fingers grasping at the fabric of your shirt on your arms.

 “Techno… Please.”

She didn’t hesitate, she got right up and threw on her shoes, not bothering to change out of her pajamas.

 --

 Techno laid back on Phil’s couch in his newly dug out home. Kristin and Phil had gone to bed hours ago, leaving him alone with his thoughts and the voices who had taken to whispering the letter E to him for the hour. The house was nicely built, and it already had a homey feel to it. Phil and Kristin’s building and decorating energies flowed well together. You almost wouldn’t expect it to lead out to a massive ravine. The house was still under construction, and the guest bedrooms weren’t complete yet.

 Techno helped with the house, building things for Phil, on account of his broken arm. He was happy to help Philza, in between his visits with you… Techno even helped with Kristin’s garden. The back of the house led out to a good sized ‘backyard’. Techno helped till the dirt he brought in and he gave Kristin the resources to start their farm.

 His thoughts were cut short by a frantic rap at the door. If he weren’t a hybrid, he probably wouldn’t have heard Niki’s voice calling out to Techno from behind the heavy dark oak door. The stress in her voice made him jump up to his feet, rushing to the door. Adrenaline began pumping, and he unlocked the door and swung it open, revealing a disheveled Niki, she was out of breath from running.

 “She’s panicking Techno,” she said in between breaths, “She wanted you.” Her hands gripped at her knees as she struggled to catch her breath. His grip tightened on the door.

 “Thank you, Niki.” His voice sounded out, as he slipped on his own shoes. He didn’t even bother getting his mask.

 “You two take all the time you need,” Niki panted handing him the key to her place, “I’m going to go check on the patients,” Techno saw something in Niki’s eyes that he just couldn’t place, along with a smirk. He would ponder on it another time. Right now, he was thinking about you, and how you had requested him to be there.

 He left Niki standing there at Phil’s door. He was in the residential part of the ravine. As they expanded the cavern, it started to expand in a crescent shape, with a long main road bustling with homes and businesses. Even in the late of night, people were walking around, working on their projects. The voices riddled his mind.

 ‘She needs you.’

 ‘Protect her.’

 He quickened his pace once the bakery came into view. People around him started to stare, and they would quickly look away once they realized who was rushing through their town. People didn’t like Techno, it was obvious. It was more so after the incident with Dream, people saw him for who he was. Dream’s words echoed through Techno’s brain. ‘When you have scared the living shit out of her, I will come to be there for her. Because I know, you will slip up.’

 He shook the thoughts from his head. He needed to be there for you right now. His feet landed on the wood steps of the bakery and he took no time in unlocking the door, and walking in. Locking it behind him. He could hear your sobbing from the front room. His heart pounded. What if he wouldn’t be able to help you through this? What if this would just result in you pushing him away? Techno knew he wasn’t good with comforting people. He swallowed down the lump in his throat. His steps rung out against the stone floor, and his pace quickened when he heard you call his name.

 “I’m here.” He said as he stepped through the doorway to the room you were in. His eyes landed on you; your face buried in your arms as they rested on your knees. “Everything is okay.” He stopped just short of your bed, kneeling so he could be eye level with you. “You’re safe. Just breathe. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He mimicked the way Phil helped him with his panic attacks. He didn’t dare to touch you. When your eyes met his he implored you to follow his breathing.

 It was a few minutes, and your breathing had calmed down, but your hands still shook. You shifted your body and motioned for him to sit next you. He seemed hesitant, but he climbed up on top of the bed just next to you.

 “What’s your favorite color?” His eyes searched your tearstained face. You cocked your head at him at his question. Your eyes flitting up to his golden ones. “Come on, what’s your favorite color?” He asked again. You let out a shaky breath and gave your answer. “That’s a good color.” You saw his mouth quirk up into a smile. You wanted to see him smile more.

 He ended up firing off questions at you waiting and listening for your answers. He was patient with you when tears spilled from your eyes again, not nearly as bad as before. You didn’t know how much time had passed, but your eyes started to feel heavy again. You felt thoroughly worn out. You let out a little sigh, and you leaned on Techno’s shoulder. Feeling him freeze for a second, he wrapped his arm around you carefully, the both of you lying down in the bed. Your face buried in his chest.

 “Thank you, Techno.” You whispered to him, taking in his scent. His arm tightened around you, as he drew the covers around the both of you. You were fast asleep.

 Techno was staring up at the ceiling, like he had done every single night thus far. This time with you in his arms. It was a weird feeling, being in this situation again, not out of necessity, but out of want. You had initiated this, and it was foreign to Techno, even if it felt right. But for Techno one thing was for certain, and he couldn’t help but be a little freaked out… When he found you in the room, not one of the voices in his mind could be heard… And for the first time in a while, he was afraid.

 --

 Ranboo was sitting in his small cave like home, his pets lounging about around him. He hadn’t gotten around to building too much for his own home, but he had been helping with the farming, even going into the nether and finding the gigantic bones, he was learning how to imbue the bone meal with magic so the plants could grow almost instantaneously. With the volume of people in the ravine it was still hard to feed all of them, not to mention still try and make enough glistering melons for potions. With Dream’s team bringing in more and more people by the day, it meant more bone meal had to be made, but the bones were starting to deplete from the surrounding areas of the portal in the nether. They tried composting, but even that was proving hard if they didn’t have a lot of resources to compost…

 Today was the day that Phil had called for a town meeting. Everyone was meeting in the town square. The clock on Ranboo’s wall read that it was mid-day. It was almost time to go, he went through his checklist of what to bring with him, patting his pockets down in search of his key. He scans around the room cursing the fact that he can’t remember where he put his key. He didn’t have much in the way of furniture and his home rivaled a small studio sized house. It couldn’t have gone far…

 Searching for it, he found it hidden behind the dragon egg on one of the only end tables he owned. He quickly pocketed the key, his eyes turn to the egg, a small smile gracing his lips. He put a hand on the egg, he could feel the life in the egg pulsing, it let off a happy aura at Ranboo’s touch. He turned and started heading to the door. If he left now, he would be early to the town meeting, and he could help Phil do whatever he needed to.

 A sound echoed off the stone walls, and it was a sound Ranboo knew well. It was the sound endermen made when they had teleported, but… This wasn’t an enderman teleporting… He was almost afraid to look back, but when he did, the egg wasn’t where he had left it. He quickly scanned the room, and it didn’t take long to see that the egg had teleported in front of the door.

 “Huh…” Ranboo breathed out. He walked over to the egg, crouching to grab it. When he returned it to the place that he had just left it, he took a step back, watching it for a few seconds before sighing. “How weird…” Ranboo mumbled out before turning toward the door again. He only got a few steps away before the egg did it again. Ranboo cocked his head at the egg. It really didn’t want him to go… He thought for a second. Trying for a third time and getting the same result. He was just going to have to carry the egg with him. He grabbed a canvas bag settling the egg in the bag and covering it up. Ranboo could feel the happy aura radiating through the bag. With a sigh he was ready, he went out his front door, finally on his way to the town meeting.

 --

 Phil looked out over the crowd that had gathered, he had no idea where Techno had gone but he was sure it had something to do with you, not that Phil minded of course. He wasn’t even sure if Techno was going to stick around, if Techno wanted it, he would give him one of the rooms that was currently being built in his house.

 He stood next to the beacon shining brightly in the town square. People started congregating around him. There were so many faces he didn’t know. He started to even feel worried. How could he take care of all these people? He had barely gotten through Will and Tommy’s antics when they were children. Hell, Phil even now had to tell Will to stop eating sand.

 Phil was brought out of his thoughts when Ranboo weaved through the crowd of people with excitement in his eyes. He gave Phil a half wave, before he protectively settled his hand on a canvas bag he had strapped on his shoulder. Phil looked down curiously at the bag, it looked like an ordinary bag but there had to be a reason Ranboo was guarding it. He would ask about it later.

 The crowd grew steadily, looking at Phil expectantly. His eyes looked for anymore faces that he could pick out among the crowd. His eyes landed on Wilbur, Tommy, Niki, and Kristin, who had found their places at the front of the crowd next to Ranboo. He gave a big sigh and let his eyes scan over everyone.

 “Hey everyone,” his voice echoed on the walls of the chasm. He almost faltered when nothing but silence answered. “So… I know things have been hard and it’s going to take some getting used to.” Looking in the crowd, he saw many tired faces, faces that wanted answers, and Phil didn’t know if they would like his answers.

“So… First things first… The food situation.” His eyes gazed over the farms. “Sam and I are going to start up work on automated farms,” Phil’s confidence started growing with every word. “I’ve seen Sam build with redstone and he is one of the best people for the job.” Phil paused. “When it comes to bone meal… be sure to compost anything that is compostable. If anyone would like to go deeper into the nether for bones we haven’t found yet, or if you want to hunt for skeletons, be sure to tell Sam he’s working on procedures to make sure everyone gets back safely,” Phil, after going through some specifics of the nether, asked the people a question.

 “So now that we have plans and are settling here nicely… I wanted to ask you lovely people what should our home be named?” Phil didn’t have to wait long, because his sons had stepped forward, an excited look on their faces. They had obviously talked about this topic at one point or another.

 “L’manburg!” Wilbur’s excited cry echoed through the chasm.

 “No Pogtopia is better!” Tommy argued. Listening to their squabbling, Phil puts an end to it.

 “Shut!” He shushes his boys, earning the laughter from some of the audience. “Does anyone have any other suggestions?”

 “How ‘bout The Burrow?” A deep voice suggested… That voice could only come from Eret. Phil looked at them, thankful for a regular answer. It was talked about for a good few minutes, with people putting random suggestions into the hat. It was a toss up between The Burrow, and Derinkuyu. After much consideration and everyone voting, the majority vote was in favor of The Burrow.

 “That’s all fine and dandy… But what about our sick and wounded that keep getting turned away?” A disgruntled woman spoke up. Phil was taken aback by the question and he thought about it, the crook of his finger resting on his bottom lip.

 “Niki,” Phil’s eyes flicked to her. “Has the med bay been updated since we got here?” She shook her head.

 “We haven’t had time to do anything,” Niki spoke up, “It’s just as crowded in there now as it was a few days ago.”

 “Alright…” Phil said after a few seconds of silence. “Any builders, who want to work on an actual hospital, will need to find Wilbur,” He motioned at Will. When more and more questions made their way to Phil, he fired off solution after solution to the people questions. When the crowd seemed happy and no one else had any questions for him he gave out a sigh. A familiar voice broke through the crowd, and his heart dropped.

 “Who the fuck put this guy in charge?” Schlatt stepped forward from the back of the crowd, he had been leaning on the blank wall that led into the med bay listening in until this point. He made his way to stand right beside Phil. “This guy, won’t be able to lead you people right.” He jerked his thumb toward Philza. If Phil didn’t have a broken arm, he would have crossed his arms over his chest.

 “Schlatt, what are you doing?” Phil studied his face, he wasn’t wasted off his rocker, which meant he was up to something.

 “Let’s just say that I’m… educating the people.” His gaze turned from Phil to the crowd. “Are you really going to let the man responsible for this whole mess, rule you?” Gasps could be heard from the crowd, but Philza refused to falter.

 “Do you really think, I wanted this? Listen Schlatt, if you want to rule these people so much, go for it.”  Phil’s eyes burned holes through Schlatt.

 “I don’t think you originally wanted this, no.” Schlatt’s eyes peered over at him. “But a good opportunity, is still a good opportunity.” His voice was amused. “Why don’t you tell them all what happened? I think you owe them that much.” Phil was at a loss for words and now he was facing an angry mob. When his eyes glanced over at his love, Kristin, she nodded at him, trying to be encouraging. He let a shortened version of him and his friends killing the ender dragon spill out from his lips.

 “So, this all happened because you wanted to scavenge for loot, is that what you’re telling these good people.” Schlatt feigned his surprise.

 “Schlatt.” Phil said through his teeth. “The books and scrolls I read did not tell me anything about this.” Phil gritted his teeth. “I have been looking into ways of reversing it. I have been nothing but transparent with these people since we got here. But if you think you would do a better job go ahead.”

 “Uuuuh… Phil I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Will chimed in. Schlatt’s eyes flicked to Wilbur.

 “And why is that Big Man?” His voice taunted.

 “Schlatt, you’re a fucking drunk, the only reason you’re not plastered right now is because our inventory on liquor is low.” Wilbur motioned at Schlatt his voice calm and collected but Phil knew Will was absolutely livid at the accusations thrown at Phil. “Phil, will actually keep us afloat, whereas you would crash us into the ground.”

 “We will see about that.” Schlatt gave him a smirk as he stepped down, his arm bumping Will’s. Phil let out a shaky sigh as Schlatt disappeared into the dispersing crowd. Some people looked at him, disgust written all over their faces. Phil felt a hand slide down his wrist and take ahold of his good hand. Kristin leaned on him, letting him know she was there for him. That’s all he wanted in this life. He wanted his family, staying by his side. His eyes scan over Tommy and Will. Even Techno was on that list, he didn’t need to be blood to be his brother.

 “Let’s go home,” Phil lightly put his hand on Wilbur’s shoulder, guiding all three of his family back to his and Kristin’s home. He ignored the stares he had gotten from people. He needed to think things through. But now Schlatt had put him in a bind. Things were just going to get harder from here.

#technoblade x reader #technoblade/reader #c!techno x reader #techno fanfic #c!techno #angst #dream x reader #dream mcyt #through fire and ice #mcyt x reader

[jaskiersvalley]

This blog is fairly new and you’re one of the first I’ve found that I hadn’t already with an old blog. I love your work. It’s very well written. 💜

Thank you! When you sent this ask, it was a fairly new blog (to be fair, I still think of it as such, it’s not even 6 months old). As a little thank you for being so encouraging so early in the life of this blog, please accept this random little story: Geralt the accidental gardener.

The Path was lonely without Jaskier. Geralt had grown to hate the silence, the way people turned away from him without the buffer of Jaskier between him and humanity. But Jaskier was off on better adventured now, Geralt had to hurt him so he’d realise at long last that there was a better life for him out there than one beside a witcher. It had hurt, Jaskier’s expression had burned into Geralt’s mind, the crushing disappointment and realisation that Geralt wasn’t going to come crawling back. But oh how Geralt had wanted to run after Jaskier, beg his forgiveness. Alas, this was the very act of being cruel to be kind. Maybe one day Jaskier would realised.

Contracts were few and far between but the lands Geralt had roamed of late hadn’t been too hostile towards an infamous witcher. There was even a contract advertised in a lesser court not too far. Geralt made his way to Lettenhove and was ushered into a hall where the Viscount and Viscountess greeted him.

“I’m here about the job,” Geralt announced, not beating around the bush. Nobody ever wanted a witcher in their courts, no matter how small their power was. As expected, he was given a hesitant once over.

“Do you have experience?” It was the Viscountess who spoke up, looking only slightly unnerved.

“Yes.” There was no point for Geralt to prove his worth, they either wanted him to deal with their issue or they would suffer until another witcher graced their courts with his presence.

“Then it is settled. Room and food are part of your contract. Reydan will show you to your quarters and tomorrow he will give you a tour. Your horse will be welcome in the stables of course.”

That was a much warmer and pleasant contract negotiation than Geralt had ever had. Even when he heard the Viscount mutter “you sure about this?” and the Viscountess’ “we owe him this much” which made Geralt frown in confusion. Maybe the Viscountess was one of those who hoped to bed a witcher for the novelty of it. That was Jaskier’s forte though, not Geralt’s, he tried not to tangle with anyone in a relationship.

The room Geralt was shown to was in the servants’ quarters and actually nicer than anything he’d ever had. Even Kaer Morhen paled in comparison. His window overlooked the garden to start with. And the bedding wasn’t torn or moth eaten. In fact, it looked barely used at all. The Viscountess was almost definitely a monster fucker. Geralt would do the job and get out as quickly as possible before things got awkward.

Settled into the room for the night, Geralt was surprised when Reydan knocked for him, inviting him to the servants’ dinner for the evening. It was strangely nice, being surrounded by humans who, while a little wary, were doing their best to be welcoming and friendly. They treated him like one of their own. For the first time in a very long time, Geralt felt at ease amongst humans.

Morning came sooner than expected and Geralt groaned, pulling his armour on, strapping his swords to his back, ready for Reydan to take him to where the beast was. He didn’t expect to be given a baffled look by Reydan but be led into the garden without comment. Various plants were pointed out, rose bushes, a vegetable garden, arches of wisteria and so many others that Geralt had never even heard of. It was all very nice but he couldn’t figure out what this had to do with monster killing. Maybe those were the plants the monster liked? Or the ones he was to avoid while battling the creature that haunted the gardens? The answer came as they walked through the front gardens and stopped to admire an apple tree. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw a sign being removed from the front of the property.

Gardener wanted

Oh fuck. Somehow the Viscount and Viscountess had assumed he was there for the gardener position and not the creature killing one. They took one look at him and, despite his inhuman looks, swords and general demeanour, they decided he couldn’t possibly be a witcher but rather an unusual gardener.

“That is about all that you’ll be responsible for.” Reydan finished up and looked over Geralt. “Do you have anything more suitable to work in? Leather tends to get too warm. And we have pruning shears which are more efficient than swords.” Laughing awkwardly, Reydan gave Geralt a small smile. “And I don’t think I ever caught your name, I’m so sorry.”

This was a crossroad in Geralt’s Path. He could either declare this had been some great mistake and he was here for the monster. It would be awkward, he’d be sneered at, ostracised and thrown out for taking their resources, even if by mistake. He’d still kill the monster but probably to take his frustrations out rather than for coin. Or, he could lay his swords down for a while. The world was tiring and disappointing. One evening in the company of people who treated him as an equal had been invigorating and, selfishly, Geralt wanted more.

“I’m Eric,” he said, quietly sending a “fuck you” to Vesemir who had denied him the name.

Gardening, Geralt realised was more difficult than he had ever thought if would be. Knowing what to cut when and how, which trees needed what compost or how much water was beyond him. Geralt tried his best though, tried to watch what everyone else was doing. Thankfully, Reydan had been kind enough to find him some dungarees and a floppy, wide brimmed hat to work in. He had been absolutely right, such work in his leathers would have been worse than uncomfortable.

Miraculously, none of the plants in his care died. Sometimes it looked like a close call, Geralt fretting that he’d cut something at the wrong time or the wrong way but, somehow, the plants survived his inexperience. Even better, the other servants and staff seemed to genuinely warm to him. The few times he encountered the Viscount or Viscountess, they nodded and smiled at him, only once enquiring how he was settling in. As well as food and room, Geralt was granted a weekly wage which might have been meagre but it was more and steadier than he had ever had before. While he was loath to spend it, he found that it built up into a tidy little stash at a surprising speed. Soon, Geralt was going to be the richest witcher in existence.

To keep his skills sharp and also repay the kindness of those around him, Geralt secretly sneaked out at nights and on his days off to slay local monsters. It was both to keep his newfound job safe and also to feel that he hadn’t quite given up on being a witcher. Merely, he was taking an unofficial hiatus.

Months down the line, Geralt was cutting roses for the dinner hall bouquet when a murmur went up around him. He couldn’t see the cause of it but the words were easy enough to hear.

“He’s back!”

“The little master is home!”

“He’ll be so happy we followed his request.”

While Geralt didn’t get a glimpse of the ‘Little Master’, everyone seemed to be cheered by his appearance. In fact, the whole court was in a bubbling upheaval. A feast was ordered and all servants were invited to take part in the meal in the main hall to celebrate. Curious, Geralt let himself be playfully bullied into attending too. He didn’t quite blend in with the rest of the servants but the crowd was almost large enough to swallow him. It was nowhere near enough though when he walked in and sat at the high table with the Viscount and Viscountess was none other than Jaskier who was staring right back at him.

Noting their staring, the Viscountess scowled at Jaskier then rose, dragging what was so evidently her son behind her.

“Julian,” she said, stopping in front of Geralt. “While you’ve been away, we’ve hired a new gardener. This is...Eric.”

“Eric?” Jaskier looked incredulous.

“Yes. He has been with us for a few months. Eric, this is my son, Julian. He’s often away, travelling the continent as a bard.”

Sudden bright, clear laughter broke out from Jaskier, head tipped back, eyes creased and mouth wide open.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he gasped. “Can we stop this charade. Geralt, what the fuck? Mother, this is the bastard who broke my heart.” Without any warning, he swept Geralt into a hug. “You fell off the face of the continent without anyone knowing what had happened. Eskel and Lambert mourned for you, you bastard.”

At least the Viscountess looked relieved rather than anything else. “You asked us, Julian, that if any witcher ever came, especially one with white hair, we would make sure to give them respite. So we did.” Sniffing daintily, she looked at Geralt. “No offence Eric, Geralt, whatever, but you make a shit gardener. Poor Reydan had to sneak around after you to try and keep the plants you butchered alive.”

Jaskier laughed even more at that and a few of the braver servants crowded closer, listening. Geralt looked at them all, the ones he had been able to call his friends for the last few months. They all knew he was a witcher and yet welcomed him with open arms just because Jaskier had asked his parents to help. All in all, Geralt felt rather foolish.

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I’ll leave immediately.”

A hand shot out to grab his arm. “Or you could stay.” Jaskier said.

“Just please, spare the plants.” That was Reydan interrupting, giving Geralt a friendly slap on the back. More of the servants echoed Jaskier’s suggestions that he could stay, at least until Jaskier went back on the road.

There was a bit of an uproar when Geralt didn’t move to the high table to catch up with Jaskier. Instead, Jaskier had moved down to his table and joined the servants. Oddly, Jaskier’s parents only looked on fondly.

As the meal wound down, gossip was exchanged, Geralt laughed at in a friendly way for all his bumblings as an incompetent gardener, it was time to retire for the night.

“Come to my rooms for a nightcap?” Jaskier asked, a hand on Geralt’s arm. “I feel we have a lot to discuss and catch up on.”

Hesitant at first, Geralt accepted the invitation and followed Jaskier to his rooms. If Geralt had thought his room was fancy, Jaskier’s were downright lavish.

“Got something to say to me?” Jaskier asked, a smile teasing at his lips.

“You engineered all of this?” It wasn’t at all what Geralt wanted to say but it was what came out to start with.

“Oh come now, if a witcher comes looking for a job in these lands, it means he’s desperate. My parents know how to keep beasties to a minimum here. I’m thinking we should have Lambert come this way next, he’d excel as a cook for a few months.”

A very good idea, Geralt could imagine Lambert taking to life in the kitchen, experimenting with the spices on offer. It would do him good to have a break too. And Eskel, though he probably would be better in the stables. And Vesemir too, if he could be enticed there, he would excel as an adviser to the household. But that was all beside the point, Geralt had something much more important to say.

“Thank you. And I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing for you.” Geralt hadn’t thought Jaskier would still travel as a bard, had assumed he’d settle in a court. Instead, he’d sought out other wolves and kept them company.

“Never do that again.” Jaskier’s face hardened. “If you have a concern, speak. Don’t make my decisions for me.”

Nodding, Geralt looked a little chastised. It had been so much easier to express emotions recently, around friends.

“Now. I do believe before you so rudely chose our paths for us, we were building towards something quite beautiful.” Jaskier handed Geralt a glass of something rich and smooth. The clinked glasses. A week later, they were leaving Lettenhove together, once more a witcher and a bard rather than a gardener and a viscount.

#geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #the witcher #gardening au #tldr: geralt accidentally becomes a gardener

[guineapigsinwinter]

Cat Among the Canines

So finished the first chapter, this is likely the final version.

Chapter one: For want of a smoke alarm.

It was two weeks before the start of a new school year, and the sirens of fire engines filled the air as the blaze raged throughout the building that housed the male feline carnivores. Half the building had been consumed by the flames when the fire engines had arrived, and whilst they had successfully prevented it spreading to any further, the damage was done.

Two weeks before a new term and one of the main dormitory buildings of the school was destroyed, though thankfully everyone had managed to escape physical injury.

Flying at a speed unheard of, the school’s administration team searched for a solution, trying to figure out how to house the 50 students who had been assigned to it. An old dormitory that had been closed several years prior for refurbishments that had never happened was hastily cleaned out and made habitable, and whilst this accommodated the returning feline student population, the 8 incoming young carnivore students still needed beds. An additional bed was installed in several rooms throughout several carnivore dormitories, with a table atop it instead of a top bunk, and the starting feline students were informed they would be in mixed dormitories for this year, with the option to switch to feline only ones the next once burnt out one was rebuilt.

 And so a 12 year old tiger named Bill found himself nervously standing in front of the door to room 701, assigned to live with a bunch of dogs for the year, his aunt’s drunken rant about the situation replaying in his head as he took the key and entered.

Surprisingly, Bill fitted in quite well with his roommates, his rumbustious nature gelling well with the energetic canine group, though his attempt to bond with Legoshi as “Alpha carnivore” as his aunt has ordered him to backfired, the shy small wolf jumping back behind the slightly taller Labrador.

“I’m not, or at l, l, least I don’t want to be.. please d,d,d,d don’t call me that” the grey wolf stuttered from behind his friend, the shame and anxiety in his voice catching everyone in the room by surprise. Bouncing forward, trying to get past the protective and glaring Labrador to the wolf. “it’s who you are man, like me what is there to be ashamed of?” Bill said.

Shouting the Labrador replied as he shoved himself into Bill. “He’s not, he’s Legoshi! He knows loads about bugs and is my best friend and leave him alone!”

“I’m not doing anything to him, I’m just saying it as it is” The now angry tiger yelled in the glaring Labrador even as Legoshi tried to defuse the situation, quietly asking everyone to calm down. Seconds later, the Labrador shoved Bill to the ground with a cry of “Stop scaring Legoshi” even as said wolf shouted “Don’t fight Jack!” as the pup and tiger cub started rolling around on the floor, the rooms other inhabitants scrambling up into their bunks to watch. For several minutes of rolling on the floor, various insults being shouted and everyone else randomly cheering for Jack or Bill whilst a stammering Legoshi begged them to stop. This came to a holt when they rolled against Miguno and Durnham’s bunk, at which point the hyena and coyote grinned at each other and flung them onto the brawling pair shouting their own names as a means of introduction.

This caused the tiny Fennec fox atop the third bunk pair to laugh whilst rolling his eyes, whilst the walking cloud that was the young English sheepdog also jumped in, laughing. Panicking, Legoshi drew up to his full tiny hight and jumped in with a cry of “I’m coming Jack. This concern faded, as he realised both Bill and Jack were laughing as well and soon started enjoying the rough housing, at one point rolling with Jack off to the side whilst the sheepdog attempted to pin a wriggling Bill to the floor, energetically introducing himself as Collot.

Eventually everyone was lying on floor panting and smiling, Legoshi quietly asking “Can we do that again?” Glancing at the young wolf, Bill replied “Sure, sorry for earlier, wasn’t trying to insult you or anything”.

Following this, the small fennec fox jumped off his bunk onto Bill’s back, hopping atop each person before bouncing to the door, shouting “The name’s Voss, and you guys do know the cafeteria is now opening for dinner?”

--- Several months Later, room 701---

“C’mon Legoshi, it will be fun, the invitation mentions the technical and costume aspects, plus everyone has joined one!” Bill said from his position lying on his front across his bunk, legs kicked up and swinging randomly, an invitation to the school drama club in front of him. Across from him, nestled in his bunk, Legoshi looked up from a similar invite. “Why invite me though? Not like I have done anything like this before, and most people don’t want to see a wolf on stage.” He said quietly, before tilting his head in thought. “Also, Jack isn’t in any? He said he was going to focus on lessons this year, we could just stay with him”.

Pressing his head into the duvet, the tiger cub muttered far quietly then his normal bombastic cheer “Please… I don’t want to go on my own but also really want to try this…” he admitted with a blush.

“I’ll help you find bugs, bet you I can climb to places even a great wolf like you can’t get to and grab them for you!” Bill continued as the door to the dorm room opened, and Jack came in, the pup carrying a stack of books the same size as his chest.

“I got the books for history from the library for you guys, plus some cool ones on wolves and tigers!” Jack’s enthusiasm was clear in his voice and the frantic wagging of his tail. The young Labrador has already started a growth spurt, the six inches he had gained since term had started leaving him the tallest of the 701 boys. He set them down on the table above Bil’s bunk before flopping down on Legoshi’s bunk, leaning against the wolf cub before glancing around the dorm room “Where is everyone?” he asked.

 “Durry’s at the swim club meeting, Mig’s at band practice, Collot went to the painting one I think?..” Legoshi grew quieter as he grew increasingly unsure which club Collot was trying out, the sheepdog had tried dozens in the last week.

“Wasn’t that yesterday? I’m going to the Warhammer and Wrestling ones tomorrow with him, maybe it was baking today?” Bill was just as confused as his lupine friend.

“I thought it was trampolining today?  Or gymnastics.. one of the two..  pretty sure Voss was going to the school paper club so maybe Collot went with him?” For once, Jack was as confused about a situation as his dormmates.

“It was pottery club guys, I didn’t go as I’d go flying off the wheel with clay guys” said Fennec spoke from his own bed, causing the three others to all jump, Legoshi and Jack both falling back in surprise.

“Rex dammit Voss when did you get back? I swear your part ghost!” the tiger cub roared out, though it came out as more a squeak towards the end.

Chuckling, Voss jumped down be grinning at the tiger. “What can I say? You goofballs don’t pay enough attention.” Turning to Legoshi and Jack he continued. “It cant hurt to try Legoshi, plus it does look good to the teachers. Speaking of Jack you should at least try some, my sister said the workloads gets intense after first year so now be your only chance, got to be something you’d like to try.” Voss pulled a flier that listed all the clubs from where it had been discarded on the floor and shoved it into Jack’s hands.

Pouting, Jack gave in, closing his eyes. “Fine, I’m blaming you if I fail exams because of this” the Labrador stated, as he randomly spun his left hand before jabbing one claw into the paper.

“Huh, gardening, that could be nice”.

Gardening did indeed, turn out to be nice, so much so each of the inhabitants of room 701 would get dragged to the gardens at least once a month by Jack. Legoshi was the second most frequent, wanting to stay close to Jack but also amazed at the variety of bugs he could find there, Bill and Collen both enjoyed trying to show off strength wise, competing with each other as to who could lift the most compost, heaviest wheelbarrows ect. Durnham and Voss didn’t especially like it, but found it hard to resist when Jack asked them. Miguno fell in love with the gardens, more as a place to practice his music but also enjoyed the digging so ended up joining the society as well.

 --- Two weeks later, night-time in room 701—

The storm outside raged, the sound of pouring rain and thunder constant, with flashes of lightning frequently blasting through the curtains. All of the dormmates were asleep, though for one it was certainly not peaceful. Bill tossed and turned in his sleep, murmuring unintelligibly in his sleep, whining in fear, his fur puffed up as the nightmare wracked him.

After a particularly loud sorrowful yowl from the tiger, Jack blinked awake, looking up from where he had been nuzzled in Legoshi’s bed. “Bill? You okay buddy?” Hearing no reply other then continued distress, Jack frowned before clambering over the grey wolf and out of the bed, waking Legoshi up.

“Jack, what’s going on? It’s not time to get up yet is it?” he groggily asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Bill’s having a nightmare, we got to help him!” Jack excitedly whispered, grabbing Legoshi’s hand pulling him out of the bed, over to Bill’s.

“Huh, er, okay then Jack”. He said as the Labrador huddle up to one side of the shaking feline, whispering reassurances and childish boasts of safety.

“Er you got this buddy, we got your back, it’s what friends do” the grey wolf cub said as he slumped into nightmare ridden tiger’s other side, sandwiching the scared feline between him and the cheerful Labrador, who’s tail started to wag slightly as Bill started to settle and calm into a more restful sleep.

“See Legoshi, we helped! I told you wolves are great for helping people to sleep! He exclaimed, having not realised said wolf had fallen asleep almost as soon as he had settled in. Grinning, proud he had helped a friend, Jack slumbered off as well.

---Rexmas eve—

 Legoshi was gazing at the snow drifting down outside, lost in thought sat against the window. He had thought of going home, he honestly hadn’t meant to mislead Jack, but it was .. he couldn’t go back. Rexmas had been the one time his mother would come out of his room, and the idea of going back now.. he just couldn’t. Legoshi felt tears rolling down his face, and found himself unable to stop himself thinking about that night. He was startled out of thoughts by the room door slamming open, causing the young wolf to yelp and fall onto the floor. Getting to his feet, he saw Bill had come back, but was shocked by his face. The tiger cub’s lips were burst, he had two black eyes and faint scratches could be seen on his face. His expression turned to shock as he processed Legoshi was there.

“W,what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be home for Rexmas?” Legoshi didn’t think he had heard Bill sound so shocked and .. on edge? He certainly smelt it.

“I could ask you the same, what happened to you?” the wolf quietly responded.

Bill seemed to deflate, slumping his satchel off and trudged to his bed. “My aunt.. doesn’t approve of me being in here you guys, my cousin told her I was friends with you guys and enjoying living with you .. and she didn’t like me saying no..  I didn’t want to stay home after that.”  The normally loud tiger half murmured, seeming to be second guessing himself and unsure what to say.

Legoshi threw himself at Bill, wrapping the tiger in a hug as he started to cry. “She can’t get you here, look your safe, you don’t need to cry” the short wolf gently said, desperate to help his friend. “I’m sure we can have a great time here, Tem is here as well so we could do something.” The tiger’s sniffles gradually stopped as he reached around Legoshi returning it, murmuring a thanks his lupine friend.

----New Year’s Eve, midday---

It was a slightly odd group that was walking across the snow covered school grounds, a Alpaca, a wolf, a tiger and a dog, all laughing and wrapped in winter coats and scarves.

“Really? Wow having siblings sure sounds weird but fun” the Alpaca said to Jack, smiling.

Thoughtful for a moment, Bill spoke up “Do you think that’s why we all got invited to the drama club? It’s a thing for kids with no siblings?”

Tilting his head in thought, Legoshi replied “possibly? Hmm, weird for you to think on something that much Bill, are you sure you are okay?” the wolf finished with a shy smirk.

 “Hey take that back! I got a 70 on the last mathematics exam before the holidays!” Bill shouted, jostling into the wolf.

“Only because Jack helped you study for it! Would you have even passed if he hadn’t helped you?” Legoshi retorted, grinning and shovelling back at Bill. Whilst the tiger’s initial declaration of being kindred “alpha predators” hadn’t gone well, and even he himself admitted it was a stupid idea, between his good natured boisterous playing with the wolf and Collot, and Jack’s gushing enthusiasm for wolves had helped to bring Legoshi out of his shell when around those he considered friends.

“I could have passed on my own! Jack just gave me a boost as he is cool like that! Bill grumbled. The wolf and tiger continued to push and shove each other, bickering over how much Jack had helped, who was having the most help from Jack, who smelled worse and several other trivial things which seemed to be important to them before they ended up pulling each other to the ground, rolling about wrestling in the snow laughing.

Jack and Tem both stopped to watch their friend’s antics, the wrestling and the increasing bizarre and silly arguments and insults making the two laugh, their breath misting the winter air.

“Is all carni bonding like this Jack? Should I prepare to defend my exam performance from your accusations?” Tem asked Jack jokingly.

Grinning, Jack responded “Nah, I have a better idea” and whispered into the alpaca’s ear.

A few minutes later, Legoshi and Bill broke off each other and got up and both looked around for their friends.

“Over here guys, took your time” Jack called out, causing Bill and Legohsi to look over to where he and Tem were stood. Each next to a pile of snowballs, and each smirking in a way that told the two that they were now very, well and truly screwed.

 So the premise is Bill ends up in room 701, his cannon behaviour reminding me of myself when I was in the closet, and massively overcompensating to a ridiculous degree, so figured him in the wholesome environment that is the canine squad could lead to a Bill who isn’t quite as much of a walking pile of toxic masculinity? Plus as he is another large predator and quite boisterous, he is more likely to encourage and engage in the physical play that would possibly help Legoshi with his self confidence/hatred of his body.

[dothwrites]

161 please??

---

google doth always taking prompts

161--Where did that cat come from?

---

The rainstorm starts when Dean pulls into the space outside the bunker’s door. It’ll be a pain in the ass to reverse and pull into the garage, plus he and Sam have a trunk full of groceries, so Dean just curses and puts the Impala into park before he gets out of the car. Water droplets start to pelt against the top of his head and the back of his neck as he loads as many bags on his wrists and arms as humanly possible. 

From there, it’s a quick trip down the bunker stairs. Sam follows behind, with a more modest amount of bags swinging from his hands. Dean walks quickly, cognizant of his struggling circulation, not to mention the unpleasant wind of a single bead of water down his spine. Their steps echo down the bunker stairs, which would alert Cas to their presence, even if the “Cas, we’re home!” didn’t. 

“Shut up,” Dean automatically says when he hears Sam’s poorly repressed snigger. 

“Needy much?” Sam does a faulty reproduction of Dean’s voice, making sure to give him a falsetto. “Cas, we’re home!” He continues to snicker as they make their way to the kitchen. “You’re about one step away from Lucy.” 

“Ok, first of all, it was Ricky Ricardo who said those lines and secondly--shut up.” Ok, so not the best comeback. Blame the rain and his screaming wrists and arms. Dean flushes and turns away from Sam as he lifts the groceries onto the counter with a quiet grunt. 

“Nice job, He-Man. Maybe next time you could try multiple trips?” 

“Go out? More than once? For groceries? Sam, it’s like you don’t even know me.” Dean starts unpacking the bags, pausing when he reaches a certain jar. “Cas! We’re in the kitchen!” 

On the opposite side of the kitchen, Sam starts to hum something that sounds like needy baby needy baby. Dean debates throwing a can of green beans at the back of his shaggy moose head. He settles for lobbing a poisonous glare at Sam’s head and not letting up until his brother turns around. 

“Hey, he dipped out on grocery shopping. The least he could do is come and help put the stuff away.” Plus Dean bought a jar of the good stuff for Cas, organic, comb in honey. It cost him an arm and a leg, but it’ll be worth it once he sees the pleased, shy smile spread across Cas’ face, which he can’t see until his boyfriend makes his way to the kitchen. 

Sam must catch sight of the honey because he lets out a very unflattering snort. Dean defensively scoops the honey out of sight. “It’s good for the environment,” he defends, despite the fact that he’s never recycled a day in his life. 

“Sure.” Sam really shouldn’t sound so smug, Mr. I Drink Kale Smoothies and Poop Compost. “Look, all I’m saying is that if my boyfriend had me that whipped, then I would at least own it.” 

“Your boyfriend would run away from your ugly face,” Dean snidely digs. Far from dissolving into a snotty mess, Sam just makes a very rude gesture involving use of a singular finger, and turns around to continue stocking the freezer with pizza rolls. 

The first sign of trouble is a singular sneeze. Dean shakes it off--it was raining outside, pollen is in the air, and the bunker that they live in was made by a bunch of old, dead guys, so there’s bound to be some dust. 

The second, third, and fourth sneezes come as more of a puzzle. 

Sam, ever the solicitous brother, raises an eyebrow. “You dying or what?” he asks. 

“Or what,” Dean wheezes, though his eyes are watery and itchy. A rattle starts in his throat as another sneeze rocks through his body. This is not normal. In fact, he only gets like this when...

Cas walks into the kitchen, wearing jeans and one of Dean’s hoodies that’s just a bit too big for him in the arms (though it stretches delightfully across his chest and shoulders). As soon as he crosses the threshold of the kitchen, as if on command, Dean sneezes. 

Through watery eyes, Dean squints at the suspicious bulge in the front of the hoodie pocket. Castiel casually shifts to the side to hide it, but it’s too late. Dean just saw something move. Cas might be happy to see him, but he’s nowhere near that happy. 

“Whatcha got there Cas?” He tries to make it clear from his tone that his question is not a polite request. 

It’s not every day that Dean gets to see a former angel of the Lord acting shifty, but that’s exactly what he gets to see as Cas tries to sidle his way out of the kitchen. “Cas,” Dean barks. Cas shuffles his feet as he plasters a very unconvincing look of innocence on his face. “What’s in your pocket?”

His facade of hardass suffers from the sneeze that rockets through his body, but it’s enough. Cas walks into the kitchen. Sam, intrigued by the drama, draws closer, but Dean’s eyes are focused on Cas’ hand as it dips into the hoodie pocket. 

Castiel withdraws his hand, holding his burden out for inspection. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean sees Sam’s mouth drop open in a paroxysm of delight (fucking softie). For his part, Dean greets the reveal with three consecutive sneezes, each one more violent than the last. 

“Cas,” Dean finally says, sniffling around his words, “where did that cat come from?” 

The cat in question can’t be much more than a kitten. It sits easily in Cas’ large hand. Luminous green eyes blink up slowly at him through a haze of black fur. As Dean watches, the kitten opens its mouth, revealing tiny sharp teeth and a pink tongue. A soft mew fills the space. 

Dean answers it with a sniffle. 

“I was out in the garden earlier today,” Cas begins. He doesn’t even have the good grace to look guilty as he pulls the kitten in close to his chest. Dean winces (that’s a hell of a lot of dander and fur that’s winding up on an article of clothing that still technically belongs to him) before he outright flinches as the kitten digs its claws into the fabric. Say goodbye to that particular hoodie. 

“It was just starting to rain and I found her.” Cas looks at him, all huge blue eyes and plaintive voice. “She was cold and shivering. I don’t think that she’d eaten for several days.” 

Great. Just great. Dean can already see where this is going and exactly what parts they’re all going to fall into. Cas, the crusader for justice and kindness, Sam, the well-intentioned supporter, and Dean, the cruel hand of logic. 

“Well, feed her, and then after the rain finishes we can take her to the shelter.” 

Next to him, Sam gasps. Cas’ mouth turns down in a stubborn frown. 

“Dean, the shelter is a kill shelter.” Sam’s voice sounds as scandalized as though Dean had suggested that they carpet bomb the whole town. 

“It’s a kitten. It’s cute. It’ll get adopted in like three seconds. I mean, it’s already got the two of you wrapped around its little dagger claws.” 

There’s something embarrassing about the soppy eyes that both Sam and Cas shoot towards the kitten. No angel should look that sickly sweet. 

“Dean, cats are fairly low maintenance,” Cas begins, which is exactly where Dean thought this talk was headed. 

“I have allergies!” Dean protests, to be met with unsympathetic looks from both his brother and his boyfriend. Traitors. “Plus, who’s going to take care of it when we go on hunts? We going to pay the neighbors to come over into our super secret bunker filled with satanic stuff?” 

Cas’ mouth flattens. “There are several establishments in town which cater to the boarding of pets.” Great. He’s already done research. “Also, many stores offer over the counter products designed to alleviate the symptoms of allergies.” 

Between Sam’s puppy eyes and Cas’ jutting lower lip, Dean feels his defenses wavering. “You’d better keep it away from my room. And if it starts pissing on the floors or tearing up the furniture, it’s out of here. And you’re,” he points to both Sam and Cas, “going to pay for my allergy meds. And you’re going to feed it and pay for all its stuff.” He’s never felt more like a dad than in that moment, lecturing his brother and boyfriend on the proper care of the cat. “This is your pet; I’m not going to take care of it!” 

Cas nods earnestly before he walks across the kitchen and kisses the bolt of his jaw, right in the sweet spot that always turns Dean weak in the knees. Bastard knows exactly how to play him. Dean turns his head to kiss Cas properly, ignoring Sam’s gagging noises in the background. Cas hums into the kiss, his teeth ghosting over Dean’s lower lip in a hint of a tease. 

Dean’s just ready to make it a proper kiss, Sam be damned, when he’s stabbed. Yelping in pain, he jumps backward, glaring at the tiny, cockblocking, ball of fluff still held in Cas’ hands. The kitten retracts the minuscule knives attached to its paws as it blinks innocently up at him.

“Oh, I think you must have squashed her,” Cas says, rubbing a finger underneath the kitten’s chin.

For its part, the kitten yawns at Dean before falling asleep. 

“Yeah,” Dean mutters, massaging at his wound (seriously, he’s bleeding and Sam is just laughing at him like an asshole). “Yeah, this is going to turn out swell.

(It comes to no one’s surprise, least of all Dean’s, when he goes to bed and finds not only Castiel, but the kitten curled up on his mattress. I said she’s not allowed on the bed, Dean tries, but the protest is weak at best, especially when Cas has decided to play dirty and is lying bare-chested with the sheet artfully draped over his waist. 

Well, I could take her back to my room, Cas murmurs, scooping up the kitten, and Dean’s going hellishly soft in his old age because he just says Over my dead body, before crawling over the mattress to where Cas waits. The kitten finds her way to the floor. 

In the morning, Dean wakes up with his nose running and his eyes gummy, due to the fucking cat who has decided to sleep less than a foot away from his face. The heated kiss that Cas gives him when he wakes up only partially helps to stop his bitching.)

#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel fic #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #domestic fic #fluff #cas with a cat #grumpy dean #super unhelpful sam #dothwrites

[mallahanmoxie]

the process of wanting to make jello to sweeping the whole house is as follows:

decide an hour into laying down after a very stressing 12 hour work day that you are hungry, actually

go to the kitchen (at 1am btw), see an utter mess with some leftovers that you could play around with for a simple and hearty meal

decide making ramen is easier actually. while you're already peeling a potato

except the ramen pot is dirty (sister beat you to it). solution? wash every single dish

but! there's food in those dishes. it is now 2am.

you put the leftovers on their tupperware, dishes in the sink, bag up the half peeled potato to place on the fridge, decide that the big pot of veggie caldo on the stove has gone bad and grandma hasn't put it away because she doesn't want to deal with it (it is a large pot)

deal with the big pot of caldo bc you are very kind.

this means that you have to go outside with the big pot in absolute darkness (because nobody wants to replace the broken backyard light), find the compost bin, throw in all the leftover veggies with a spoon, and then "water" grandma's experimental vegetable garden with the soup

does it do anything? i don't know. but it's supposed to have nutrients in it so on that reasoning that's where i've been dumping every pot of soup that we don't finish

by now you've already washed the dishes on the sink and dried them and put them up. it's like, 2:40 or something. now you wash all the pots

hurray! the ramen pot is clean!

cook your ramen :)

say, while that cooks, wouldn't you like to make some jello? it's mother's day tomorrow (now)!

very clumsily make jello, throwing half of it on the kitchen floor (this will come bite you in the ass later)

decide, while the jello cools and your ramen cooks, that you should sweep the house. after all, when you're done cooking, you have to clean the stove, and then the bits of food there will fall to the ground and then you'll have to sweep the kitchen and if you're sweeping the kitchen, might as well sweep the whole house. wouldn't it be nice to awaken to a swept house?

hurriedly sweep the house before your ramen is done (your house is very small) EXCEPT for the kitchen, because you haven't washed the stove yet

sit down to eat your ramen.

it is bad ramen.

it is 3:30

bring your dishes and pots to the sink one last time and give the whole washing thing a go again

finally! clean the stove! wipe the counters! wring out the towels!

finish sweeping the kitchen :)

alas! remember the jello on the floor? now all manner of dirt and debris is stuck to it! whatever shall we do?

douse it with fabuloso and a frijoles container full of water. mop.

you're already mopping the kitchen, might as well—

NO. it is FOUR AM in the MORNING (thats what am means). you will not mop the whole house.

instead you just... mop the little stains. in silence.

finally, you are finished. brush your teeth, lay down to sleep, think 'hey! this experience would make an extremely entertaining and not at all long text post that the people of tumblr would definitely enjoy!' and proceed to write exactly the opposite of that

realize you will not be awake before noon tomorrow to wish grandma a happy mother's day. get out of bed to write a post it.

it is 5:15 am.

#thank you. #psa newsmen still at large

[jensownzoo]

Thought I’d post this quick found item garden project I slapped together last weekend:

The stairs were salvaged from one neighbor in late winter—I didn’t need them as stairs and had vague ideas of knocking it apart for the lumber for the new chicken coop/run, but then I found and spray-paint refreshed some old window box-style planters and a different purpose emerged. I salvaged a 4x4 and some 2x4s from the outdoor small remodel of a local bar. Sawed the 4x4 in half to use for “legs” and the shorter 2x4s to brace it (using the screws removed from all this lumber).

Now I have a nice set-up by the garage for those window boxes.

The green planter has a much-abused purchased begonia (the wildlife would NOT quit digging it up), some red geraniums taken from cuttings from plants I rescued from the dumpster in the fall (potted up and overwintered inside), and some mixed coleus I grew from purchased seed.

The top orange planter has a mix of seed collected from two vining plants on my walks last fall—one is perennial pea vine, the other has a morning glory-like red/yellow flower that I haven’t identified. The next two planters have collected fennel seed (the type you grow for seed instead of vegetables). It would be nice to get some new fennel seed from them, but mainly growing them for the swallowtail caterpillars after having to remove a half-dozen of them from my vegetable fennel earlier in the spring. This way I’ll have somewhere to relocate them where they can survive. The last planter has nicotiana seed that I seed-saved from my own plants. The two plants I overwintered and replanted in the garden started blooming immediately, which was nice to have in early spring and I’d like to do that again.

On an unrelated gardening note, a week and a half ago I found myself with a package of baby yellow waxy potatoes that had sprouted so hard they looked bearded with root hairs. I already had volunteer potato plants at one end of a raised bed I’m composting in this year, so I just went ahead and planted the little potatoes throughout the rest of the bed. It actually does have dirt on top of all the composting stuff since I had extra heavy clay dirt from the new in-ground bed I made from the lawn this spring. I just mixed some of the underlying leaf litter into the clay and plunked them in. Sprouts showed up yesterday and continued to push through the covering straw today. Think I’ll give it a dusting with alfalfa meal before the rain tomorrow night to counteract some of the potential nitrogen depletion in the underlying material (there are a lot of twigs/branches) and just see what happens.

#summer garden projects #finding new uses for other people’s garbage #plant propagation from cuttings and seed-saving is a great way to save money #composting #unexpected seed potatoes #fennel and swallowtails #gardening

[friendlyneighborhoodsecretary]

3. Prompt: Gardening

By his third day of hiding out at the lakehouse post-Beck, Peter had run out of distractions. Going anywhere near his phone or the TV was out of the question. He couldn't concentrate well enough to do any of the suit tinkering or web fluid adjustments he would usually have fallen back on. He'd already made the rounds of the house, fixing the little leaks and squeaks and anything else he could mindlessly turn a wrench to (not that there were many in a Stark-built home). And there were only so many times a person could take a stroll around the same lake and skip the same stones and swing their legs off the same dock before they went thoroughly and irreversibly insane. He was all but vibrating with restless nerves. And being cooped up out here, where the silence of the woods pressed in on him like dungeon walls and the empty hours yawned ahead of him like a life sentence, wasn’t making it any easier.

By the time Pepper found him after lunch on the third day, he was dangling upside down from the eaves, absently shifting from foot to foot and counting the seconds to see how long it took before he fell. It was possible, Peter realized as he dropped sheepishly back down to the floorboards—just possible—that he might have already slipped over the edge.

“Trust me—I’ve seen worse.” Pepper hadn’t even batted an eye as she brushed off his sputtered explanations. She’d just gathered up the sunhats and the neat bundle of work gloves from the shelf by the door and towed him through the back door with the practiced efficiency of someone who was used to managing chaos before it tipped over into calamity. "Come with me.”

He trailed her reluctantly around the side of the house to the neat rows of raised beds that housed Pepper's garden. Carefully-staked tomato plants here, the scraggly foliage of carrot tops there, lines of squat goji bushes in one bed and the small round buds of new lettuces in another—there were a few things he could identify, but many more that were just...green. Green and vibrant and robust, leaves gently rustling in the hot July breeze and produce of varying sizes and shapes ripening in the sun. He was pulled from his inspection by Pepper pushing a pair of the gardening gloves into his hands and dropping a broad-brimmed sunhat over his eyes (“Yes, I know you’re superhuman, but I don’t think skin cancer discriminates like that”). There was a brief summary of which greens were intentional and which were intrusive, a deft demonstration of proper weed-yanking technique, and then Peter was shepherded to a row of carrots for practice. Pepper settled in amongst an adjacent patch of lettuce and left him to the job. For a moment, he just sat there, the grass prickling against his knees and the sweat beginning to bead up under the heavy gloves as he brooded. Gardening. What was he doing puttering around in the Starks’ backyard, gardening, while his actual life imploded out there in the real world? At least Pepper had earned the break—he caught snatches of her phone calls to the legal team, to the publicists, to all the people who were actually doing something about the mess he was in, and the reality that he wasn’t one of them stung every time.

Peter stared out over the sea of bobbing leaves and sighed. Still, if it wasn’t gardening, what else would it be? More waiting and wondering and wearing new tennis shoe trails in the track around the lake? One was about as productive as the other. Peter squared his shoulders and bent to the task in front of him. If he was going to lose his mind out in the wilderness, he might as well be helpful while he was doing it.

As it turned out after half of an hour’s worth of work, there was something weirdly soothing about kneeling in the dirt and burying yourself in the process of pinpointing what stayed and what went. In the careful concentration it took to yank up a stubborn weed without uprooting anything good that happened to be growing near it. In the calming repetition of pinching off a dead leaf here or a damaged stalk there. There were ladybugs crawling lazily along the stems, occasionally bumping against Peter’s fingertips a few times before they grudgingly redirected around him, and a few birds hopping cautiously along the rim of the beds, mining for unlucky creepy crawlies. It was a steady rhythm of activity—just enough of it to keep Peter’s mind from straying too far beyond the next bunch of nettles to dig out—with a refreshingly comfortable lack of pressure or tension.

Pepper didn't say much, but the silent companionship was…nice. In a way, it was soothing, too. Or, at the very least, a relief from May's fretting and Happy's hovering—not that there was anything wrong with either of those, per se, but when it was all you had day in and day out, it began to smother you alive. The summer sun beat down on his back, the breeze swept lazily across his brow, and for a while, time ceased to exist. There was nothing but the black earth under his hands and the scent of topsoil in his lungs and the steady cycle of the job.

"I started planting things a few months after we moved out here," Pepper said quietly, a solid hour into their work. "Not much at first—just enough to give us a reason to be out in the light rather than holing up inside."

"Us? Mr. Stark helped?" It was an odd image—Peter had always had trouble imagining Tony out in the country at all, let alone elbow-deep in a tangle of zucchini plants or hauling buckets of fertilizer. But then, most of life these days was odd—Tony was recovering from saving the literal universe with a snap of his fingers, Pepper was flicking aphids off of her tomato plants, and Peter felt increasingly more like he was just along for the ride.

Pepper’s mouth twisted in a wry grimace.

"I'm not sure 'help' is the right word given how some of those first few plants fared, but yes, he did pitch in. Under duress, sometimes, but it grew on him.” Peter let out an obligatory snort at the pun, and Pepper forged on, the faint smirk on her lips the only indication that she’d meant it as one. “I saw a quote once—a very, very cheesy Pinterest sort of thing—about planting a garden being an act of belief in having a tomorrow. And back then, right after the Blip, we needed any hope for tomorrow we could find. Or cultivate, as the case may be.”

“It was a good way to refocus. To step back and take a break from trying to put the world back together.” Pepper shot him a pointed look over the carrot tops, and Peter pointedly ignored it. “It was a good distraction, too. I think Tony spent at least five or six hours a day out here during the weeks before Morgan was born, when all we could do was wait for something to happen.”

Peter paused in chucking a handful of weedy foliage at the compost-bound pile that had sprung up between them. The relentless urge to find something, anything helpful to do had eased a little, but it was far from gone. He pursed his lips as he finally turned back to uproot another fistful.

"I just—I wish there was something I could do besides waiting out here. I mean, everything that’s happening is all my fault, but you're the one who's having to fix it and I know it has to be costing you an awful lot and—"

Pepper tipped her sunhat back to level him with a long, hard look that reminded him forcefully of May when she was gently, but firmly pointing out the obvious facts of life, such as "the homework won't do itself" or "the laundry will not make its way from the dryer to your room by magic" or “that Red Bull won’t give you actual wings, so you’d better not expect gravity to give you preferential treatment.”

"Peter. There isn't a single person in this house who wouldn't spend their last dime on making sure you get through this okay. And believe me when I say that we've got a long, long way to go before we even need to start worrying about burning through Stark Industries' supply of dimes."

Peter opened his mouth, a dozen arguments about his opinion of throwing other people’s money at his problems, about sitting on the sidelines while everyone else did the work, about running from the consequences of his own blunders all welling up on the tip of his tongue.  Pepper cut them off.

“You’ll have your work cut out for you in a few weeks, when things have settled a little more and there are fewer people agitating to have you arrested. When that happens, we’ll all work on fixing this together. Until then…try to take advantage of the rest.” Her voice softened. “I know it isn’t easy, Peter. But you’re wrong about it being your fault—and it certainly isn’t your sole responsibility to fix. You’ve got a lot of people on your team.” She coaxed the last tendrils of unwanted clover from her last row and rocked back on her heels. “And a whole lot of tomorrow to believe in. Even if it isn’t exactly what you were envisioning it would be a few weeks ago.”

"Thanks,” Peter murmured. It would’ve sounded trite from anyone else, but from Pepper—Pepper, whose practicality rivaled May’s and whose honesty could rival Happy’s (just in a more polished, less aggressively blunt way)—he could almost believe it. “Not just for this, but you know—for everything."

"Any time, kid.” Pepper shucked her gloves and brushed the dirt from her knees as she stood. She left him to it with a squeeze of his shoulder and an unshakably reassuring smile that Peter would hold onto for a long time to come. He stayed out in the green until the breeze blowing in off the lake had turned cool, and the twilight had started creeping in among the shadows of the pines. There was still a knot of unease in his chest when he finally meandered inside, but it was…smaller. More manageable. The driving restlessness of that morning had been driven out by the bone-deep exhaustion of a long afternoon in the heat and the distinctive tingle of a rising sunburn. It took a solid ten minutes to scrub the grit from his palms and the dirt from under his fingernails, but for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he didn't feel like he'd completely wasted his day. He stumbled through a hazy shower and an even hazier dinner before he fell into bed. And for the first time since he'd arrived, sleep came without a fight. For the first time since he’d arrived, he was too tired to dread it. And while he couldn’t quite bring himself to believe in tomorrow…he didn’t dread the idea of meeting it, either.

#my fic #mcu spiderman #peter parker #pepper potts #post-ffh #swing into summer

[vanessarama]

Lately I am thinking about gardening almost constantly. I did germination tests of a bunch of old seeds and from that I now have 10+ tomato seedlings, 1 eggplant seedling, and maybe 5 pepper seeds still in their wet paper towel and ziplock bag sprouting. I also bought a small square metal raised garden bed, and 15 large fabric pots.

For the old seeds that didn’t sprout at all, I’ll probably toss the rest of what’s remaining in their seed packets into their own small pots (one pot per seed packet) and see if I get lucky, without actually expecting to get anything.

I’ve also been watching a lot of videos by gardeners in my same/similar climates, since in south Florida you can technically grow year-round but the timing and challenges are specific and different from the rest of the US. It’s been very helpful to learn from people who can give guidance on how to work with my climate/seasons. I daydream about the veggies I can try to grow in the hot summer. (Maybe this year I will finally try to grow Seminole pumpkin!)

The one essential thing I’m lacking is good soil. I’d like to finally try composting but I’m sort of holding off what with all the medical issues and another surgery coming up in March.

Also trying to keep my succulents happy. They went through some neglect last summer when I was dealing with everything, but have been recovering nicely!

I also want to take on more than I can handle and I KNOW that, which is the only reason I haven’t bought a million new seeds, and instead am limiting myself to what I already have.

I’m just really excited about gardening and it’s all I want to talk about!!!!

#vanessarambles

[prairiemilkbrewery]

What’s up I’m mildly crazy and I haven’t written any creative pieces in a long time so this is gonna be a doozy; why I’m putting this here instead of in my diary is a mystery only the gods can unravel.

You’re out there, somewhere. I know that much. Every day you breathe, and I can only hope that you laugh, eat, drink, and revel in existence too. But I cannot bring myself to live in joy every day of the week either, and I couldn’t blame you for doing the same. I hope, one day, I am a reason for you to live happily. I hope you’ll let me coax your head against my shoulder on the days when you don’t. Not every hour can be a good one, but sometimes it’s nice to sit in misery together. I want to take you out to a dimly lit parking lot in the pouring rain, and we’ll sit there in the dark and no matter how we feel, it’ll just be us. We can just be human, for an hour, an evening. I hope you’ll kiss me. I think, even for a coward, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from going for it myself if you won’t make the move. You’ll be too beautiful in the glow of streetlamps, the shadows of raindrops on the windshield splattered gently across your brow, an ethereal silhouette of a man in the car beside me. Ideally, that’s the night I fall for you, after an evening of sharing secrets in the night, of slowly and steadily realizing we’re going around in circles, so many circles that our red strings of fate have tied themselves into a messy knot. We’ll laugh as we untangle them together. We’ll straighten the universe between us even as the real space grows ever smaller, and we grow ever closer. But I’ve never been one to stick to plans; and I’ve never been one to fall conventionally. For all I know, I’ll realize it when I see you asleep on the couch, or when you catch me before I trip, or when you’re dragging me along to your favorite little sandwich place because I’m new in town and I just have to try it. I don’t know when it will happen, because I don’t know you; I don’t really know me either right now. But one day we’ll know each other, that I can be sure of. I’m looking forward to it. I hope you are too. 

I also hope you’ll let me love you once I do. I know I tend to be blunt and to the point when face to face... I’m just not good at keeping myself composed like I can from here. People like you make me flustered. It takes a lot of focus for me to be “suave” and “cool.” There’s just too much inside of me for me to funnel it into some lengthy epic to recite to you; I want you to know how I feel right when I feel it, and it sort of, uh, explodes out. Maybe you think it’s cute. Maybe you think it’s funny. Maybe it makes you just as flustered as I am when I’m saying it. We’ll have to wait and see. I really can’t wait to see you. To be so full of love is a feeling I dearly miss. I want to be lying in field, to turn over and watch you bask in the sunlight, the corner of your lips twitching up into a smirk when you realize I’m staring with doe-y eyes. Will you like my eyes? I’ve always found brown rather plain. Perhaps you’ll find something of more interest in them. I want to fall asleep in the crook of your neck when I turn away from all others to hide from the world. I want to feel your arms on my back to shield me from any force that dares get near my sleeping form; I want you to know I’ll do the same for you next week. Those parties are too loud anyways. We should probably drive back home. I want to hold your hand on the trails, to feel transcendent from the crisp air and your warmth next to me in the cool morning. I want to go home and fight for who gets into the shower to wash away all the hike’s sweat before compromising on getting in together. I want to spend the day exploring the shops in town we’ve never been to and I want to end the day on the misty road through our woodland neighborhood as the sea’s foggy layer pushes inland with the setting sun. I want to feel like those plain brown eyes of mine are seeing the world anew when you’re by my side. Make life an adventure for me, will ya? That’s all I ask. 

I’ve already had quite the quest of a life myself. It hasn’t been the fun kind, though. It has made me bitter, and angry, and turned my once innocent and ongoing hopefulness into a gnarled and rotting pit inside me. I’m working on it. I know I’m not ready for you. I do not want that to be what you pull out of me when we look into each other. It’s still a process I must learn to master; I once thought it would be your job to carefully cut it out of me. I see now that it would only poison you too. I once thought I’d been cursed. I thought she had planted the seed in my heart, in vengeance, a thorn to grow through my heart like a stake, making layers of tendrils around it with every passing day. I thought I needed a hero to come along and steal my heart away, to defeat such a beast and save me before it consumed me. It felt like I held a ticking time bomb within myself. But if that were true, I wouldn’t be like this now. It would’ve already been taken care of. I’m not foolish enough to try and hand that responsibility off to another lover, especially not to you. The universe gave me this thorn, and it’s my job to dig my own hand into my chest, to rip it out and not give it the means to take deeper root. I hope you can still love me, even when my hands are covered in blood. At least it’s mine. Don’t be too scared, I’m okay with losing some of it. I’d rather get dirty so I can bloom with you, rather than get us both thrown in the compost bins because we’re too full of weeds to save. I need some time to learn to garden before you get here. It’ll be worth it, I promise; I’m going to make you a bouquet. Again, ideally, a big, bountiful one, but I never stick to plans (despite being a control freak, but I’m trying to dig that root out too.) Even if it’s just a single poppy, I’m promising you flowers. I’m promising you I’m here working right now, waiting for you. This work is for me now. I want to be a person again. I want to be happy. But the flowers are a wonderful side effect, and I’d be happy to cut some for you when you pull up in the drive. The bouquets are for you; the garden is mine. Can that be a deal? I think it can. I think, even if I don’t know you, it’ll be right this time, and you won’t need to trample on already dead plants, or rip them out and claim them all for your own. I’m going to be tending these beds for the rest of my life; you’ll probably be doing the same for yours. I hope we can help each other. I hope you’ll share some flowers with me too. I’d love to put them in a glass by my bedside. Maybe one day it’ll be our bedsides. Maybe one day our gardens can sit beside each other. It’ll always be our own jobs to dig out our weeds, even the toughest ones, but we can cheer each other on from the porch, or hand each other a shovel, or just be there to get the other a glass of water when the work gets overwhelming. I think we’ll be alright. 

So there it is. I’ve written a love letter to a stranger. I’m sending out my heart to the universe, to a man who I’ve never yet laid eyes on, who likely won’t read this, and perhaps never will. But, whoever you are, I’m thinking of you. Do you wonder about me too? It doesn’t matter. This is for you, someday. Sleep well, goodnight. I’ll see you in the future. 

#gay #mlm #gay yearning #yearning #writing #my writing