#nicely done colette

[wizardelf]

best look for shadowheart post-nightsong. btw.

#hate her ugly bangs. i love huge change in hairstyle to signify new chapter in life #bg3 #shadowheart #nicely done colette

[fontasticcrablettes]

@adeptarcanist

…Problem: now I need to see Raine x the Wonder Chef. Maybe he’s drawn to her unique spirit of culinary experimentation, the only person in the world capable of appreciating the wonder behind the inedible food……. …or maybe he’s just succumbing to that instinct of horrified fascination with a train wreck.

Well have I got good news for you. The answer to "Which of those crack ships I mentioned is the one that I myself have written?" is in fact, Raine x Wonder Chef. I have the original Word file, which helpfully recorded the exact date it was created, so I can tell you that I wrote this at the age of 15 at 1:44 AM (it was probably a school night):

Genis yawned and sat up in bed, wondering why he was awake.  He rubbed his eyes, looked around his room, and realized Raine’s bed was empty.  Huh, that was odd.  Raine was usually a deep sleeper, and rarely got up in the night. 

He remembered when he was little and used to sneak out of the house at night with Lloyd, and Raine just snored as he crept out the creaky door.  Her arms would hang off the side of her bed, blankets kicked to the floor, book she’d been reading before bed resting under her cheek. 

But now she was missing, and he was a bit concerned.  He crawled out of bed, noticing the open window with the ocean visible in the distance, illuminated by the full moon.  Perhaps it was the sound of crashing waves and the smell of fish and salt that had woken Raine up, although they’d been in Palmacosta for a few days so she should be used to it by now. 

Well, if Raine was up, too, then he didn't know how many of them were actually asleep.  Colette had been in bed resting all evening after the fight with Kilia, and Lloyd had diligently sat by her side.  Whenever Genis poked his head in, she was always awake, staring blankly at the ceiling or chatting with Lloyd.  He’d always tell her to go to sleep, but she’d just smile and say she wasn’t tired yet. 

Genis left the room, seeing Kratos and Lloyd’s room door open.  They were probably out training somewhere.  The question was, where was Raine?  He walked down the stairs to the main room, looking around.  

Wait...was that voices?  Yes!  He heard something coming from the kitchen!  It sounded like Raine’s voice, too, from the sound of things.  Happy to find her but dreading what she might be doing in the kitchen, Genis approached the closed door and listened, wondering who she could be talking to.

“It’s so large!” Raine was saying.  “I’ve never seen one quite this size before.”

“Yes, I know,” a male voice Genis didn’t recognize said.  “I’m quite proud of it.”

"I've seen one before, of course, but a more average size, you know?”

“Yeah, I’ve never met anyone else with one this big before.  It makes me feel special!  Do you want to touch it?”

“Oh, could I?”

“Go ahead!”

The was a pause.  “Wow, it’s so smooth.  And the shaft is so thick!  Is it even practical?”

“Well, it’s really more for show, if you know what I mean.  But we’re really getting sidetracked.”

“Yes, I know.  I’ve cleared the table, just like you asked.”

“Ah, good.  We’ll need plenty of room to make our magic.”

“Magic, hm?  I know a thing or two about magic...”

They were quiet for a bit, and Genis overheard the clank of a pot and shuffling things around.  He was very confused about this conversation, but didn’t want to interrupt.

“Ok,” the man said.  “Now you just need to take off – oh!  Very nice!”

“Yes,” Raine said, uncertainty in her voice.  “But I don’t know...I think they’re too small.”

“Nonsense.  Just look at them!  So round and smooth, the skin so white and soft...they’re perfect.  I want to just put my mouth around them - lick and bite them.”

Raine laughed.  “Oh, you’re just saying that.  But is it warm enough yet?  I feel a bit wet.”

“That’s because it’s so steamy.  But yes, I think everything’s ready.”

“Oh, I’m rather excited.  I’ve only done this a couple times and I’ve never been very good.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll guide you.  Are you ready?  First, this goes in here...”

Genis was starting to get a bad feeling about this.  Without knocking, he burst into the room, a bit afraid of what he would find.  “S-Sis!  What are you...?”

Raine and the Wonder Chef looked up at him, standing over a boiling pot of water.  The Wonder Chef had two onions in his hands, his giant fork leaning against the counter. 

“Genis?” Raine asked.  “What are you doing up?”

“Uh, I saw that you weren’t there and wondered where you went....”

“Oh,” she said.  “The Wonder Chef was trying to show me how to make a soup.  I wanted to surprise you and Lloyd tomorrow for dinner.”

“O-oh.  I’ll just...head back to bed now...”  Feeling a bit embarrassed at his outburst, he darted out of the kitchen and headed back upstairs.

--

“Your brother’s so cute!” the Wonder Chef said after Genis was gone.

Raine just sighed and shook her head.  “He can be rather overprotective at times.”

The Wonder Chef just shrugged.  “Now, where were we?”

Raine smiled and leaned against him, ripping his chef’s hat off and winding her fingers through his blonde hair.  His hands slid across her chest and over her shoulders, pushed her robe off and it fell to the floor. 

“You tell me,” she whispered in his ear and drew back before he pulled her into a passionate kiss.

#nightfoot writes things #i mean the ship is obvious #as determined by the Tales of Sexychef poll #Symphonia Wonder Chef is objectively the sexiest chef

[wizardelf]

#lotr #gigolas #nicely done colette

[wizardelf]

same manner of creature

#dungeon meshi #lycion #nicely done colette #nico #silken windhound

[wizardelf]

promise?

#elon musk #nicely done colette

[wizardelf]

under appreciated nico robin

#NEEEED a figure of this lol #one piece #nicely done colette

[wizardelf]

idk why this conversation happens like every other month but yes people hating on modern art and saying they could make it IS anti-intellectulism and dividing "good" and "bad" art in such a way is a literal facist talking point

#nicely done colette

[wizardelf]

after reading yyh and hxh it's clear togashi only wants to draw beautiful women, gay people, and beautiful gay people at all times

#yyh #hxh #nicely done colette

[wizardelf]

on which occasion would warrant a red guy from don't hug me im scared card?

#nicely done colette #don't hug me i'm scared #dhmis

[wizardelf]

dungeon meshi 🤝 beastars 🤝 tokyo ghoul

the eroticism in consumption

#dungeon meshi #beastars #tokyo ghoul #nicely done colette #to consume and be consumed is an act of DEVOTION

[wizardelf]

man who unironically goes yippee!

man who jumps up and down when something good happens

man who goes "mm yum!" when eating something tasty

man who goes teehee and scratches the back of his head when he's feeling shy

man who goes "woah awesome..." every time he sees a sunset

man who pulls on push door and says "hehe oops" to himself

#like a dragon #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #rgg #yakuza #nicely done colette

[wizardelf]

people being rude in notes even if it's "playful sarcasm" are unwelcome this is for funsies

#nicely done colette #poll

[wizardelf]

people online: yor and loid are gonna fall in love and be married for REAL!

comments: omg yes true they HAVE TO fuck!!!!

same people online: the guys from buddy daddies are kinda gay lol

comments: OMG IT'S NOT GAY...THAT IS COMPLETELY MISSING THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE SERIES. STOP ASSUMING THINGS, IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT. YOU'RE RUINING THE STORY BY SEXUALIZING IT.

#i dont watch buddy daddies but ive seen the commentary #buddy daddies #spy x family #nicely done colette

[wizardelf]

no outfit will ever fuck so severely

#nope #nope 2022 #nicely done colette #SPOILERS: i would not mind dying in this outfit bc I'd look good while getting digested. I'd slay.

[wizardelf]

#poll #nicely done colette

[wizardelf]

#video #yakuza #like a dragon #yakuza 7 #nicely done colette