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#nicole blackman
eelbergine · 1 year
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She’s a dying machine
So bless her skin
And bless the nightmare she’s living in
Ann dem strappy cutout sandals, RO draped velour maxi skirt
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disease · 2 months
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RECOIL ft. NICOLE BLACKMAN BREATH CONTROL | LIQUID, 2000
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elektroblues · 2 years
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strangerhythms · 2 years
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crimsoncowl · 2 years
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“before you raise your hand to me / don't you wish to know / how you will fall / and who will take you down?”
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yurufuwajukaiboy · 1 day
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i am pointing @ the golden palominos album “dead inside” with all the sanity and vigor of a kpop stan. listen to it it’s good
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shadow27 · 3 months
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Nicole Blackman reading Indictment. This piece was edited into KMFDM's DOGMA.
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bread235 · 4 months
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iris
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sugartitty · 5 months
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i love you nicole blackman
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eelbergine · 1 year
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She bites the bullet So watch it go off And watch it explode In her platinum mouth
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disease · 2 months
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RECOIL ft. NICOLE BLACKMAN CHROME | LIQUID, 2000
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toshootforthestars · 1 year
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Nicole Blackman  “What I Want For Christmas”  (1995)
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elektroblues · 8 months
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if i said i actually wanna be associated with chrome by recoil more than luscious apparatus by recoil 🚶‍♀️
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derekklenadaily · 2 years
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anastasiabway: Today is our #ANAversary! @#AnastasiaMusical officially opened on Broadway five years ago today! Share your favorite memories of your journey with us below!
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padmestrilogy · 4 months
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the empty queen
brynne rebele-henry / asia moe-whittler / bjork / lucie brock-broido / kate bush / tori amos / sam adams / mcr / francesca lia block / paramore / mitski / sam adams, cont / sylvia plath / emilie autumn / jenny holzer / nicole dollanganger / hayden blackman
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cannibalovers · 3 months
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creating a tag list btw if anybody wants to be tagged each time i post these then let me know!! (replies/dms/ask box)
Hannibal song of the day : song no.2
a bit about the song:
"Want" (released in 2000) is a song by Recoil, an artist I mentioned in my previous post. Recoil is Alan Wilder's music project. It was produced and written by him along with the vocalist Nicole Blackman. The vocals are spoken and the instrumental is simple yet with a lot of layers, quite dark with a focus on the drums, fitting the downtempo, triphop and experimental genre of the song. The meaning of the song is pretty straightforward, all of the sentences starting with "I want". It explores the themes of control and desires. The narrator wants to regain control, get revenge and destroy the ones that wronged them, the ones who they have loved, the ones that took away control from the narrator and destroyed them. It could be multiple things, people, substances, etc. although in my mind, I see it as the narrator aiming this only on one specific person. They want satisfaction and feel like they'll get it through vengeance.
when I hear this song I can really only think of one person, WILL. I have talked about this song before on my other blog and somebody said that this song was literally written by Will, every line just gets better and more accurate and I agree SO SO much. Not only do the lyrics fit WORD FOR WORD, the overall vibe just fits the show so much. This song really reminds me of honeypot/season 2 Will, if a song could explain his mindset and feelings about Hannibal (ignoring the fact that he was falling in love LMAOOO), then this would be the song, perhaps about how Hannibal ruined his life along with others.(more or less before finding Hannibal's actual plan of running away with Will since that's why Hannibal was isolating Will)
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Intro
"I want to know how it will end I want to be sure of what it will cost I want to strangle the stars for all they promised me"
This is literally Will's intentions at the beginning of season 2. By the end of season 1, he realises what Hannibal has done to him, how he lied and manipulated him and through time, realised that Hannibal framed him for his own murders. His plan was to get revenge, end Hannibal and regain control.
The narrator wants to see how their story with their oppressor will end, they want to be sure of what it will take, they want the satisfaction of knowing that they have hurt them back. Will seems to want this as well, he himself literally confessed to Hannibal that he wants to kill him. WITH HIS HANDS. He wants to be the one to kill Hannibal, at least the one to initiate it, since he literally sent somebody else to kill Hannibal (although I feel like he would have regretted now killing him himself).
The narrator feels resentment and wants to hurt the ones that have hurt their trust and lied to them, breaking the promises they made - The same for Will. He was used by everyone, especially Jack who wanted him in the field so bad, everyone promising to protect him and not let him get "too close", but yet he did - Why? because of Hannibal. Hannibal was Will's psychiatrist, he took on the responsibility of Will's stability and mental health, he assured Jack that Will is strong enough for the field, lied to Will saying that there was nothing wrong with his brain (bros brain was literally melting into a soup) and just overall fucking with his brain. Nobody noticed what Hannibal did to Will and nobody believed Will when he saw Hannibal's true side and intentions, the promises they made about keeping him safe were not fulfilled.
"I want you to call me on your drug phone I want to keep you alive so there is always the possibility of murder later"
Drug phones are phones usually used secretly, kept away from personal usage, usually for drug deals or illicit activities - a person's secret part of their identity. For the narrator, it is most likely literal, the oppressor most likely encouraged the use of drugs, probably weakening the narrator and making them more vulnerable and dependent, that's how their got control (or the oppressor is literally drugs and the narrator is talking about giving up drugs and regaining control over their life).
whichever it is, drugs don't fit the theme of the show that much (although reminds me of the call hannibal made to Hobbs' house and Will calling Hannibal in mizumono), but I still can see a connection to the show taking into the account the fact that drug phones are used to contact people in secret, letting the recipient see the secret part of the caller, a part that they hide away from the public. Because of that, I think the line can still be applied to Hannibal. He sees Will as somebody who can understand him - throughout the show, he was slowly revealing himself to Will, although even if that's not what he was trying to do, Will figured it out anyhow. For Will and Hannibal, I see this line as Will wanting Hannibal to admit to his murders and other secrets Hannibal has been keeping away.
now the last like is quite clear when it comes to hannigram......... literally could be applied for both sides, but we're talking about Will so we're gonna talk about Will.
Will had multiple moments where he could kill Hannibal, but didn't. I personally think it's cuz he was falling in love (and let's be real, their love language with each other is literally trying to kill each other, but then not going through with it, that's so incredibly romantic that ur lover just loves u sm that he doesn't wanna kill u omgggg couple goals) - let's take the moment where Hannibal was tied up to be fed to Mason's pigs for example. He had the option to let his desire come true, he literally imagined this exact situation - slicing Hannibal's throat open and leaving him to the pigs (although I'm pretty sure he was imagining what Mason would have done but... still counts). He didn't take it and instead freed Hannibal; He probably did it since his plan was to get justice and get Hannibal caught to prove that he wasn't crazy, but also, because he wanted to kill him himself. Not with the help of others, not at the hands of Mason, if Hannibal is dying then it's gonna be at Will's mercy and his mercy only - yet another idea keeps popping into my mind; the idea that Will was hesitating if to even do it. I don't think he wanted to really kill him, since he said so himself, he became interested in Hannibal. He wanted to get to know him, perhaps find another way of getting revenge, or maybe even choosing mercy and letting him live as he slowly started to realise that he maybe does actually agree with Hannibal. Either way, he was keeping him alive so there was always the possibility of murder, later.
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verse 1
"I want to be there when you learn the cost of desire I want you to understand that my malevolence is just a way to win"
The narrator wants the oppressor to realise what they have done and the narrator is trying their hardest to win over them.
Will wants Hannibal to realise the impact of his actions, whether he realises that Hannibal literally wants this, idk, maybe he did and that's why he decided to try and betray Hannibal instead, but whatever it is, he wants Hannibal to realise what he has done.
Malevolence means to want to hurt and cause harm, hostility. With how Will pretended to murder Freddie, I think the line fits perfectly. He's pretending to murder (ok although he did murder Randall but that's another thing ok...) for Hannibal, to show him that he is becoming him, to try and satisfy Hannibal, this is Will's way to win over Hannibal and get him back for the lying and betraying.
"I want the name of the ruiner I want matches in case I have to suddenly burn"
the narrator wants to ruin the oppressor, they want to take the title of a ruiner away and reclaim it, and so does Will. He wants to be the one to ruin Hannibal.
The matches remind me the burning body that was supposed to be Freddie's and how he said that Freddie was the fuel for the murderer, so he turned her into what she is, a fire that ignited him, started his new life as a killer. The fact that the lyrics say to "suddenly burn" just elevates it for me even mor considering that this was probably an improvised plan, I think he did plan to somehow frame a murder but to use fire as a metaphor was sudden in my eyes. He wanted to create a performance in Hannibal's style as technically Hannibal was his mentor for this, make this look like art, a performance (unless it was Hannibal's idea to set her on fire? lol if that was implied then i don't remember it oops), also perhaps overall Will trying to get an opportunity to betray hannibal, wait for the perfect moment but be prepared?
"I want you to know that being kind is overrated I want to write my secret across your sky"
Ngl I see this more as Hannibal saying this to Will, telling him that kindness is overrated and wanting to reveal his secrets to Will, although this can also maybe be Will telling others like Jack or Alana that he doesn't need their kindness and pity, after all they did break their promises, and the "write my secret across your sky" could be towards them as well, about revealing Hannibal's secret or actually writing his secret in Hannibal's sky, the secret being his plan of betraying him. After all, he did warn him about FBI coming during mizumono, as if he didn't really want his plan to go through and for Hannibal to run away. Honestly? with this line anything will work since there's so many secrets in this show lol
"I want to watch you lose control I want to watch you lose"
oh god these lyrics. Literally Will.
Hannibal is known for his control, Will knows it too, even tells Jack to not underestimate him, because he's always in control of the situation, one way or another. Will wants to take that away, he wants to see him weak, out of control, lost, he's curious about that. He's constantly trying to figure out which buttons to push and when to get him into this state - for fun? perhaps. to get back on him? yeah probably. probably both
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verse 2
"I want to know exactly what it's going to take I want to see you insert yourself into glory"
For the narrator, the glory can be the loss of control they're aiming for their opressor to be in, wanting to see what it will take for them to lose it. This could be from Will's perspective, but I propose a more interesting idea:
Once again, I can see those as more Hannibal saying these to Will rather than Will saying this. Hannibal literally saw himself in Will, he saw the potential of Will becoming Hannibal and surviving it, him being at the same level as him. He really kept pushing Will, seeing what it would take to get him to that point (encephalitis apparently...) and insert Will into "glory" - they even talked about how "enlightened" and changed Will felt after committing the murders. To Hannibal, accepting your dark side and murdering is glory after all; That's what God does and are we not created in his image?
"I want your touches to scar me so I'll know where you've been I want you to watch when I go down in flames"
The narrator wants their oppressor to watch them elevate and to frame them, have the evidence of what the oppressor has done to them and to use it against them to bring them down.
This can be seen from the perspective of Will's plan, getting to know Hannibal and letting him manipulate him to see Hannibal for what he really is, and perhaps it would even help him to understand what to use against him. The lyrics about the flames feels like another part of the "I want matches in case I have to suddenly burn", how Freddie was his fuel and he has set himself on fire to be reborn as a "killer". He wanted Hannibal to see it so he would be convinced.
(technically Hannibal did scar Will, left him with a "smile" as he calls it. mf literally gave him a C-section scar. but i feel like in this context it doesn't fit? but maybe this line could be taken paradoxically, Will wanting Hannibal to mark him so that he constantly remembers him and feels him, afterall he feels the best when he's around Hannibal and can't forget him no matter how hard he tries.)
"I want a list of atrocities (Done in your name)"
Will wanting a list of atrocities done in Hannibal's name should be pretty self-explanatory, he wants evidence to frame him and prove that he was right.
"I want to reach my hand into the dark and feel what reaches back"
for the narrator, it's overall accepting the dark desires and their dark side, seeing what would happen if they took the "dark, bad" path instead of the "light, good" path, the dark path being revenge and light path being letting go. Choosing the dark path would mean picking themselves, betraying the social norm, but picking the light path would mean betraying themselves, not satisfying their soul and desires because according to society, revenge of such intensity and violence is bad. mmm juxtaposition and paradox
I can see this as Will hesitating which side to choose, the "dark" side (Hannibal) or the "light" side (FBI and justice)(although one can argue that the dark side is FBI and overall going into the crime field and light side is having a "normal" life). Through the show we can see his curiosity about the dark side keeps on growing and he slowly starts to explore it. Perhaps what reached back was wendigo.
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verse 3
the most straightforward one, I dont even know what to say help lol
"I want to remember when my nightmares were clearer"
i mean. do i have to explain that one
just Will trying to recollect what happened during his episodes and what Hannibal done to him, especially him trying to remember what happened when he kept losing time and the fact that Hannibal shoved a tube down his throat to put Abigail's ear in there. like. woah. what the fuck
"I want to be there when your hot black rage rips wide open"
wendiggoooooooooooooooooo
trying to kill wendigo, he just really wants him dead. But also reminds me of the scene where Will is being born as wendigo to show that he has successfully become Hannibal.
"I want to taste my own kind"
well.
he does decide to eat ppl for Hannibal (simp)
but nah also the temptation of accepting his dark side and choosing hannibal - his own kind, someone he feels understood by.
"I want to be wrapped in cold wet sheets to see if it's different on this side"
my man sweats buckets(and seas apparently), I think he knows what it feels like.
but also, "to see if it's different on this side". Overall, I think we can agree that being wrapped in cold wet sheets is prob not the most comfortable and feels incredibly weird, it's supposed to make you feel uncomfortable and the narrator is powerful enough and accepting enough of the uncomfortable to chose it instead of a something comfortable - let's say the cold, wet sheets representing the vengeance but the "other side" (comfortable, probably dry sheets...) being a quiet, mundane life. That's what Will struggled to choose between, the quiet and mundane life or a life with Hannibal.
overall this whole verse, for the narrator, I feel like it's them giving into those dark desires and testing them. Specifically for Will, it's everything Will decides to do for Hannibal, to get to that dark side, try it, taste it, or what Hannibal made Will do to get to that dark side and the aftermath of Will going perhaps too far, not knowing if he wants to stay on that side with Hannibal or return to the light side and get revenge on Hannibal.
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verse 4
"I want you to come on strong I want to leave you out in the cold I want the exact same thing, but different"
the narrator wants to the the same thing back, but even though it's technically the same, it will feel much different.
Will too, he wanted to come onto Hannibal strong, shock him, be forceful with him to get him off guard and leave him out in the cold suddenly, just like Hannibal did with him; He gained Will's trust and dependency and then framed him for his murders, completely destroying those two things - why? honestly idfk, to interest Will??? this man is weird and peculiar individual and his decisions are just there cuz he's a curious bitch I really don't get them sometimes lol
but Will wants to do gain the same thing, but not to interest Hannibal but to regain the control that Hannibal took from him. Same thing, but different
"I want some soft drugs... some soft, soft drugs"
give this boy some aspirin
but ok for the narrator, as I suggested, because of the repeating theme of drugs, maybe the narrator is having withdrawl symptoms or maybe they want the same thing they had - the trust and dependency on someone, but soft, genuine, and loving. Devotion and influence.
Maybe that's what Will wants as well, or just want to get high to forget about this all and relax for once omfg give this man a break PLEASE let him go on a fishing trip in peace.
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verse 5
"I want to throw you I want you to know I know I want to know if you read me"
narrator is getting aggressive, they want the oppressor to realise that the narrator has seen through their games and won't accept them any longer, and so does Will. it's very straight forward, I always think of Will holding Hannibal at gun point in s1 ep13 when he realises what Hannibal has done, he wanted Hannibal to know that he figured him out, and also "i want to know if you read me" in my eyes applies to both as they both realise that they understand each other. I can kinda see Hannibal saying that line to Will and Will being a menace and replying with the next "I want to swing with my eyes shut and see what I hit" lol
but also, Will wants to know if Hannibal caught on, well, hoping that he didn't, and Hannibal, hoping that Will caught on on the fact that he wants the two to run away together. They're both reading each other all the time but this one time, failed, too blinded by the pain from the betrayals.
"I want to swing with my eyes shut and see what I hit I want to know just how much you hate me so I can predict what you'll do I want you to know the wounds are self-inflicted I want a controlling interest I want to be somewhere beautiful when I die I want to be your secret hater I want to stop destroying you but I can't
And I want and I want and I want and I will always be hungry And I want and I want and I want"
This sudden switch up is very quick and violent, expressing the anger and hatred the narrator is feeling; They're trying to regain control and dominance of the situation, perhaps they're going through with their plan - the wound being "self-inflicted" makes it sound as if they have planned this and are framing the oppressor, but try to appear innocent to others as they want to be seen as a "secret hater" - but it seems like the situation is getting out of control again, as they realise they can't stop anymore... or, the narrator hasn't come through with the plan but will never stop wanting to and the anger they feel will never disappear and they realise that without revenge, they will never feel satisfied. They will never stop wanting.
ok I still didn't watch season 3, but from spoilers and knowledge i have, I think i can make something out because this verse reminds me of season 2 but also the last few lines remind me of season 3. I see Will as someone that can be impulsive sometimes and this ending verse seems very impulsive. He's constantly trying to figure Hannibal out whilst trying to think of what he can do to break him, he wants to understand why Hannibal did what he did to him, but as he's doing so, he realises that maybe he doesn't want to go through with the plan of destroying him, because he's starting to understand Hannibal(and also finding out that Hannibal wanted to give Will everything back and run away together probably completely changed his view on Hannibal's actions). He wants to stop but he can't and no matter what he will try to do, he will never stop wanting to destroy him. His love for Hannibal just got as strong as his resentment, not to mention the fact that he didn't see the two running away safely together as an option, or perhaps thinks it's too late, he has gotten way too deep in the plan of destroying Hannibal and now can't back out even though he wants to.
in conclusion i'm insane cuz i spent 4 hours writing this................ but truly i've never heard a song that suits him more. Their trust issues are insane i love them.
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additional notes:
HIGHLY recommend listening to missing piece and want together istg those songs together just represent will and hannibal individually so so well
could have used this energy and enthusiasm on my media studies essay but whatever we ball
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my playlist
to anybody who read this, thank you and hope you enjoyed my rant<3
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