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#nightingale rambles
nightingaletrash · 7 months
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Trying to figure out the designations of Oblivion's Black Hand prior to the deaddrop switch and I just realised something strange...
Ungolim
Lucien Lachance
Arquen
Belisarius Arius
J'Ghasta
Alval Ulvani
Mathieu Bellamont
Shaleez
Havilstein Hoarblood
Banus Alor
These are all the members of the Black Hand that appear in Oblivion, excluding the PC. Four Speakers, a Listener, and their five talons, the Silencers. Ten people in all. But when the PC is named Silencer, all of these people are still alive, and if all of them were members at that time, then the Black Hand would suddenly have eleven people instead of ten. And that doesn't work with the way Lucien tells us that it works. So chances are that someone got an abrupt promotion once the killings started, and the only person who makes sense to me is Banus Alor.
We know that Bellamont was promoted to the Black Hand as a Silencer about a year or more prior to the Player's arrival in the Brotherhood. Shaleez and Havilstein Hoarblood are also Silencers, as they tend to live in remote places or on the move so they can carry out their duties without being tied to a single place.
As for the others, Ungolim is the Listener, we know that for a fact. Lucien is obviously a Speaker, and we can presume that Arquen has been one for some time, given her role as the player's guide post-questline. Belisarius mentions that he's been responsible for administrative duties for years and hasn't gotten to spill blood in a long time, which is much more in line with a Speaker than a Silencer, so we can presume he's been a Speaker for a long time.
J'Ghasta and Alval HAVE to have been members of the Black Hand prior to the deaddrop switch because they're the ones named in those fake contracts. Their roles aren't super clear because according to UESP they're both Speakers... but that doesn't really work as we already have three confirmed Speakers and three confirmed Silencers, so they have to be one or the other. Speakers seem to have an established residence while the Silencers tend to move around a bunch (with Bellamont being an exception) so I lean towards Speaker J'Ghasta and Silencer Ulvani, but it really could go either way. There's definitely a compelling case for Speaker Ulvani, so it's up to preference really
Whatever the case, that still leaves Banus Alor as our odd one out as having no mention of prior experience and history with the Black Hand, whether in dialogue or from contracts. If he was a member of the Black Hand at the time of the Purification, then the Player being named Silencer makes no sense because going by the numbers, Lucien should have a Silencer still. So what gives with his being here? The doylist reason is pretty clear - the Black Hand has five members, so Bethesda wanted you to have five people going into the Night Mother's crypt for this election ritual. It represents a hand without talons, but a whole hand nonetheless, and someone has to be elected as the thumb.
But in-universe, the only way it works is if there were some very hurried promotions, and what we have in game backs that up. The Player is promoted to Speaker pretty much immediately upon their arrival at Applewatch because Arquen and the others know that they're innocent. Bellamont, a confirmed Silencer, is also a Speaker now. Along with Arquen and Belisarius, that makes four. But they need five if they're going to be four fingers and a thumb when they invoke the Night Mother. So at some point, the Black Hand decided to pick a family member to become a Speaker, and that family member was Banus Alor. Maybe he was a potential Silencer candidate they were keeping tabs on in case a position opened up. Maybe he oversaw a Sanctuary. Or maybe he was chosen for his ability to kill, as that would aid them best against Lucien.
So yeah. Can you tell I didn't sleep at all last night?
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drnightingale · 2 months
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Can anyone help with my tumblr theme?
I've edited a really nice theme that I really like, but it's not showing up on my blog and I want to know how to make it work because I can't figure it out and neither tumblr help or google are helping
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Can anyone help?
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kingpippthe2nd · 8 months
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It took me until this week to realise how much season two has changed my perspective on... well almost everything Good Omens.
I finally rewatched season 1 for the first time since Neil broke my stupid little heart. Honestly, I had convinced myself that I was over the heartbreak.
Do I torture myself on this website on a regular basis? Yes. Do I refuse to read fics without a "hurt/comfort" tag? Yes. But I was fine. I was healing. I was good. I was over it.
Did episode 3 hit differently after everything I'd been through after S2? A bit. But nothing I didn't expect.
And then there was S1E6. The Ritz. Nightingales. And I just wasn't ready. I had heard that song a thousand times throughout the last few weeks. But context does seem to matter. Because here I was, three notes in, sobbing mercilessly.
This scene used to be a safe space for me. A warm little patch of sunshine to curl up in, when I felt down. It was hot cocoa on a rainy autumn day. It projected to so much love and comfort. And now it's all twisted.
The contrast to S2E6 couldn't be sharper. Oh, what a beautiful web of similarities Neil has woven for us. Here are our two favourite idiots, smiling at each other, so in love, not a care in the world, because the world is safe and they are toasting it. Yet I know, what the future holds for them. I know, how incapable of truely communicating they are. I know, how they will break each others hearts, paving each others way to hell with all the best intentions.
You have to hand to Neil. He really knows how to tell a good story.
I haven't dared to listen to " A Nightingale sang in Berkeley Square" in the last week. It will take me a good long while to work up the courage again.
I don't even know, how to end this mess of a post. I just hope, Neil will bring the song back in season 3 and make it be all fluffy and comfortable and lovely again.
To the world, my friends.
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starry-bi-sky · 27 days
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i need to get this out of my head before i continue clone^2 but danny being the first batkid. Like, standard procedure stuff: his parents and sister die, danny ends up with Vlad Masters. He drags him along to stereotypical galas and stuff; Danny is not having a good time.
He ends up going to one of the Wayne Galas being hosted ever since elusive Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham. Vlad is crowing about having this opportunity as he's been wanting to sink his claws into the company for a long while now. Danny is too busy grieving to care what he wants.
And like most Galas, once Vlad is done showing him off to the other socialites and the like, he disappears. Off to a dark corner, or to one of the many balconies; doesn't matter. There he runs into said star of the show, Bruce who is still young, has been Batman for at least a year at this point, but still getting used to all these damn people and socializing. He's stepped off to hide for a few minutes before stepping back into the shark tank.
And he runs into a kid with circles under his eyes and a dull gleam in them. Familiar, like looking into a mirror.
Danny tries to excuse himself, he hasn't stopped crying since his parents died and it's been months. He rubs his eyes and stands up, and stumbles over a half-hearted apology to Mister Wayne. Some of Vlad's etiquette lessons kicking in.
Bruce is awkward, but he softens. "That's alright, lad," he says, pulling up some of that Brucie Wayne confidence, "I was just coming out here to get some fresh air."
There's a little pressing; Bruce asks who he's here with, Danny says, voice quiet and grief-stricken, that he's with his godfather Vlad Masters. Bruce asks him if he knows where he is, and Danny tells him he does. Bruce offers to leave, Danny tells him to do whatever he wants.
It ends with Bruce staying, standing off to the side with Danny in silence. Neither of them say a word, and Danny eventually leaves first in that same silence.
Bruce looks into Vlad Masters after everything is over, his interest piqued. He finds news about him taking in Danny Fenton: he looks into Danny Fenton. He finds news articles about his parents' deaths, their occupations, everything he can get his hands on.
At the next gala, he sees Danny again. And he looks the same as ever: quiet like a ghost, just as pale, and full of grief. Bruce sits in silence with him again for nearly ten minutes before he strikes a conversation.
"Do you like to do anything?"
Nothing. Just silence.
Bruce isn't quite sure what to do: comfort is not his forte, and Danny doesn't know him. He's smart enough to know that. So he starts talking about other things; anything he can think of that Brucie Wayne might say, that also wasn't inappropriate for a kid to hear.
Danny says nothing the entire time, and is again the first to leave.
Bruce watches from a distance as he intercts with Vlad Masters; how Vlad Masters interacts with him. He doesn't like what he sees: Vlad Masters keeps a hand on Danny's shoulder like one would hold onto the collar of a dog. He parades him around like a trophy he won.
And there are moments, when someone gets too close or when someone tries to shake Danny's hand, of deep possessiveness that flints over Vlad Masters' eyes. Like a dragon guarding a horde.
He plays the act of doting godfather well: but Bruce knows a liar when he sees one. Like recognizes like.
Danny is dull-eyed and blank faced the entire time; he looks miserable.
So Bruce tries to host more parties; if only so that he can talk to Danny alone. Vlad seems all too happy to attend, toting Danny along like a ribbon, and on the dot every hour, Danny slips away to somewhere to hide. Bruce appears twenty minutes later.
"I was looking into your godfather's company," he says one night, trying to think of more things to say. Some nights all they do is sit in silence. "Some of my shareholders were thinking of partnering up--"
"Don't."
He stops. Danny hardly says a word to him, he doesn't even look at him -- he's sitting on the ground, his head in his knees. Like he's trying to hide from the world. But he's looking, blue eyes piercing up at Bruce.
Bruce tilts his head, practiced puppy-like. "Pardon?"
"Don't." Danny says, strongly. "Don't make any deals with Vlad."
It's the most words Danny's spoken to him, and there's a look in his eyes like a candle finding its spark. Something hard. Bruce presses further, "And why is that?"
The spark flutters, and flushes out. Danny blinks like he's coming out of a trance, and slumps back into himself. "Just don't."
Bruce stares at him, thoughtful, before looking away. "Alright. I won't."
And they fall back into silence.
Danny, when he leaves, turns to look at Bruce, "I mean it." He says; soft like he's telling a secret, "Don't make any deals with him. Don't be alone with him. Don't work with him."
He's scampered away before Bruce can question him further.
(He never planned on working with Vlad Masters and his company; he's done his research. He's seen the misfortune. But nothing ever leads back to him. There's no evidence of anything. But Danny knows something.)
At their next meeting, Danny starts the conversation. It's new, and it's welcomed. He says, cutting through their five minute quiet, that he likes stars. And he doesn't like that he can't see them in Gotham.
Bruce hums in interest, and Danny continues talking. It's as if floodgates had been opened, and as Bruce takes a sip of his wine, it tastes like victory.
("Tucker told me once--") ("Tucker?") ("Oh-- uh, one of my best friends. He's a tech geek. We haven't talked in a while.")
(Danny shut down in his grief -- his friends are worried, but can't reach him. When he goes back to the manor with Vlad, he fishes out his phone and sends them a message.)
(They are ecstatic to hear from him.)
It all culminates until one day, when Danny is leaving to go back inside, that Bruce speaks up. "You know," He says, leaning against the railing. "The manor has many rooms; plenty of space for a guest."
The implication there, hidden between the lines. And Danny is smart, he looks at Bruce with a sharp glean in his eyes, and he nods. "Good to know."
The next time they see each other, Danny has something in his hands. "Can you hold onto something for me?" He asks.
When Bruce agrees, Danny places a pearl into his palm. or, at least, it's something that looks like a pearl. Because it's cold to the touch; sinking into Bruce's white silk gloves with ease and shimmering like an opal. It moves a little as it settles into his hand, and the moves like its full of liquid.
Bruce has never seen anything like it before, but he does know this; it's not human. "What is it?" He asks, and Danny looks uncomfortable.
"I can't tell you that." He says, shifting on his foot like he's scared of someone seeing it. "But please be careful with it. Treat it like it's extremely fragile."
When Bruce gets home, he puts it in an empty ring box and hides the box in the cave. He tries researching into what it is. he can't find anything concrete.
Everything comes to a head one day when Danny appears at the manor's doorstep one evening, soaking wet in the rain, and bleeding from the side.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc prompt#man i just really need more dpdc stuff where danny and bruce have a good relationship. like man i NEED it. like i need to see these two#bonding together. and not in a cracky 'oh danny is a distant friend/cousin/etc' stuff but like. active participants in each other's lives#or as active as can be in this case. i neeeeed these two getting along and caring about one another#this idea came to me like last night and hasn't left since nd it was driving me up the wall to think about both positively and negatively b#i neeeded someone to hear about this or i was gonna implode#danny is the first son#tried to just get the general gist of the idea down but i definitely thought of the idea that bruce lowkey suspects vlad for having a hand#Vlad allows Danny to sneak off because he thinks Danny is alone. if he knew Bruce was there he'd be piiisssed and would put a stop to it#Sam and Tucker are alive they just got ghosted for a bit by danny bc he was in Major Grief and didn't wanna socialize. He couldn't go to#them because he didn't wanna put them in danger via Vlad.#oh that thing he handed Bruce? Yeah that's his ghost core. I have a headcanon (that isnt always applied) that ghosts can take their cores#out of their bodies at will and painlessly and without issue. and its common practice actually to do so bc they can be a not insignificant#distance away from said core before problems start to act up. and its common for ghosts to leave their physical cores at their lairs for#safekeeping because as long as the physical core is fine: so is the ghost. they can reform if their body gets destroyed. it also acts as a#fast travel sometimes. where they can reform at their core in an instant. its not inspired in the slightest by SU but i do see the overlap#most cores are pretty small for safety sake: its harder to hit if its small. and they're pr resilient too but its better to be safe than#sorry. so yeah. danny essentially gave bruce the physical embodiment of his soul and indirectly said#'if anything happens to me at least i'll be safe with you'#danny doesn't know he's batman btw#starry rambles.#was gonna go into danny becoming a vigilante beside bruce but im sleeeepy so i'll do that in a reblog. he's gonna go by nightingale if#anyone is interested. stereotypical but to be frank it is a *good* name imo. has a good amount of syllables and consonants to it#and the bird theme. and since its part of an ancestral name it has even more backing for it being bird-y without being meta
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itsscottiesstark · 6 days
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Sometimes, I'll be writing (or even reading) a fic, and a very cliche or way too romantic line will come out of me and I pause for a second, contemplating whether or not "they'd actually say that".
Then I remember that the beings I'm writing said fanfiction about are Anthony "No Nightingales" Crowley and Aziraphale "You go too fast for me" Fell and I'm like- yes, those bitches are extra af. They would say that. And more.
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crowleys-hips · 4 months
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are you perfect yet? - Alexander Anthony Mar
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rainedroptalks · 28 days
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I need to see a d20 oneshot with a mix of some of the bad kids and the seven specifically so I can see Sam Nightingale, Gorgug Thistlespring and Adaine Abernant on an adventure together. Sam trying to get Gorgug killed in an accident, him not noticing and Adaine being his biggest supporter.
Also if Sam and Aelwyn start flirting Adaine HAS to be there for it. Psychic damage
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ace7librarian · 2 months
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God I love toxic female friendships with a hint of lesbianism in my media
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duskyashe · 1 year
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NaNoWriMo Day #27
[masterlist]
Prompt found here
Thanks @stealingyourbones and @newdog14 for the prompt!
=============‹«⟨∆⟩»›=============
"—the door will remain locked and sealed, with a small amount of anesthetic gasses pumped into the room at ten minute intervals, until either you're rescued or one of you answers my riddle! What... Does the sign at the cemetery say?" The Riddler asked through the speaker above the door.
"Do not pass."
The answer was out of his mouth barely a second after the riddle was said; though, to be fair, it was less of a riddle and more of a pun—a death pun at that, which he'd spent the majority of his teens researching and creating more of. Jazz had said it was his way of coping with his accident, and, well, she wasn't exactly wrong, okay?
Danny's stomach dropped to his knees in realization. Three simple words, spoken reflexively and without intent, had just destroyed everything. He was supposed to be keeping his head down, not drawing attention to himself, and here he was, throwing three years worth of hard work down the drain. He was screwed. Jazz was going to be so disappointed in him, he knew it.
He was starting to worry he'd been wrong, and his fellow hostages were about to see him get shot or something equally traumatizing, when the light on the lock turned green. He breathed a sigh of relief and cautiously opened the door. Riddler could usually be trusted to keep his word, but Danny wanted to be safe. He didn't want to put his faith in the man relying on a single riddle—a pun at that—for his entire plan. The universe just wasn't that kind to him. But no, there really had only been the one pun locked door between unconsciousness and freedom. Danny sighed. This just wasn't his night.
=============‹«⟨∆⟩»›=============
When Danny had finished with his report, he wasn't surprised in the least to get called to Gordon's office. He hadn't been there since he'd been offered his promotion, which he was coming to regret accepting in spite of the serious boost to his paycheck. Ever since he'd been promoted to Major Crime, he'd been having more and more run-ins with Gotham's rogues, both on and off the clock. He'd known it was only a matter of time before he caught the wrong kind of attention, the kind of attention he'd been hoping to avoid for as long as possible. He could handle rogues, he could handle some extra scrutiny from his co-workers for how often he got away from said rogues unscathed, but the Bat? He had wanted to avoid him for as long as humanly—and inhumanly—possible, but after tonight's events... Let's just say he hoped he'd be able to transfer to another city's police force once Batman was done with him.
"Nightingale, you up for some old fashioned stair climbing tonight?" Gordon may have phrased it like a question, but Danny knew it wasn't.
"Yes, sir," he replied with a sigh. Oh well, might as well get this over with. And besides, he kinda wanted to see the bat signal up close and personal before he was outed as not human.
=============‹«⟨∆⟩»›=============
On the roof of the police department, Danny glanced at Gordon before he walked over to the giant spotlight that had become so iconic. The bat symbol in the center of the unlit light provoked such a sense of relief and respect in the normal Gotham citizen when it was seen, but Danny could only see his visions for the future go up in smoke.
"I'm assuming I'm up here to meet the big guy?" Danny asked without looking back at his boss.
"He said he had some questions for you. Hope you don't mind."
He sighed but shook his head. "Not really, I actually was kind of expecting it at some point, considering my track record so far." Danny heard the soft sound of someone carefully landing on an asphalt roof and took a bracing breath.
"Daniel J Nightingale, twenty-four, from a small town in Illinois, one sister, one cousin, no parents on record. Your records are good, they nearly had us fooled, but Oracle found something you missed when falsifying them."
Danny turned to face the dark knight. He leveled the man a challenging look. "What are you going to do about it?"
The man slowly stalked toward Danny until he was within arms reach. "I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago," he said. Danny blinked and suddenly, Batman's arms were around Danny's shoulders and he was being drawn into a hug. "I'm sorry I never knew about you. I'm sorry I never looked." After a moment to process what was happening, Danny melted into the hug and returned it.
"It's okay. You couldn't have known. I forgive you, dad," he whispered through his tears. Well, that wasn't as bad as he'd feared it would be.
=============‹«⟨∆⟩»›=============
Sorry for not posting anything at all yesterday, as you may know, it was my birthday yesterday, and life got a bit hectic (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠;⁠) and not in a fun way. We had some bad news come in from a family member out west, and it threw all our plans into chaos and disarray. Today was better, no bad news bombs got dropped on me today, though it was very exhausting, so I'm not sure how well this ficlet turned out, sorry (⁠^⁠~⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ
I'm probably going to play a bit fast and loose with my personal NaNoWriMo rules for the rest of this week, cuz I've been struggling to find prompts I'm actually interested in writing (⁠;⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠)hopefully I can get a few sequels or third parts out before the end of the month!
Have a good morning/day/night!
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nightingaletrash · 2 months
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I am once again thinking about just how fucked up Kaiba is.
He talks a lot about how he dismantled Kaiba Corp as part of the military industrial complex and turned it into a game company, and that everything he's done has been to spite his step-father's memory, and yet...
He's still after power. A sense of security. His favourite game isn't about having fun anymore, it's about power. Even in a low stakes duel with Joey, he can't surrender that need for security. Out of context, it seems kind of silly, to view card games as this ultimate expression of power, but it actually makes a lot of sense.
The cards that Mokuba sneaks to Kaiba when they're young, particularly the handmade Blue Eyes card, played a big part in solidifying his determination to succeed at all costs. Those cards became a lifeline to him, and they became a way to visualise power when plotting his coup. They come to represent power, and his path to it.
And when Kaiba Corp became a game company, that card game actually did become a huge source of financial power and influence. As a child with a lot of issues regarding security (among other things) due to his being an orphan and Gozaburo's abuse, that power became his security. It's a source of stability and control, things he's not had since his parents died, it gives him an autonomy he's never had, and he's unwilling to part with any of it.
Being the best duelist is both a mark of pride and a symbol of his ultimate control. It proves that his sense of strategy and cunning and intelligence can't be beaten, that he can't be strong armed into defeat. Every game is a battle for power, and he can't stand to lose even a little of it, because if he does, it threatens him with losing control. And he can't abide by that. He won't be left helpless at the hands of others ever again.
It's why he can't stand the fact that he lost in his own tournament; it's the loss of control. He was going to secure his place and ensure that no one could ever beat him again, providing him with the only security blanket that matters, only to lose it again. Add in Yami and Yugi going on about fate and destiny - things that strip away control and autonomy - and of course he's going to react negatively. He doesn't want to feel helpless. He doesn't want his life to be in the hands of anyone but himself. He needs control, or he'll suffer again.
But the problem isn't that Kaiba is a fucked up child looking for security in his favourite card game. It's that he's a fucked up child with a multi-million dollar company that has very real influence over the lives of countless people, and we see multiple times that he's not willing to expend anything that doesn't benefit him personally. When Bakura ends up in a coma, he won't pause the finals to let him be taken to a hospital. When Joey is literally on the brink of death, Mokuba has to go behind his back to call for a rescue helicopter and explicitly tells the gang not to tell him. Multiple people are being hospitalised because of this one guy and Kaiba refuses to remove him from the tournament because if he does, he misses out on the chance to take his Egyptian God Card, aka a new layer to his security blanket.
He has very real tangible power, and he only extends it to his own benefit. He thinks that defanging Kaiba Corp was enough to make him different from Gozaburo, but it wasn't. He's just as ruthless, just as power-hungry, and just as indifferent to other people's suffering when it suits him. He has to be argued with, or choices have to be made without his knowledge.
And it's just... fucking sad. He has so little self-awareness about what he's become and what Gozaburo has made of him. He's become the very monster he despised, and his only saving grace is that he has people who give enough of a shit to argue back instead of deferring to him as yes men.
If Yugi hadn't confronted him in episode 1, and if Yami hadn't crushed the evil in his heart, then he would never have changed from his absolute worst self. And while Mokuba doesn't often stand up to him, when he does, Kaiba tends to listen. It might shock him - that's a different can of worms - but his decision will be swayed by Mokuba, which is no small feat.
The fact that there are people who will tell him no and stand up to him is the fine line between him and Gozaburo. The question is... does it make enough of a difference to really matter in the end?
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drnightingale · 1 month
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Trying to finally sort out my blog
Reblogs and ramblings will now be on my side/spam blog @songbirds-in-the-east
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shadowsndaisies · 4 months
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im begging to see those sketches babe🙏🙏🙏
okay... so this is what i have so far.. i went back and added some labels to help.
im still working on her civvies outfit but you get glimpses in my action sketches
PLEASE let me know what you think or if you have any ideas!!
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ps: these are my sketches and the product of long term work when i get a lil too in my head, they weren't originally going to be shared tbh bc it was to help me physically envision the character i had been creating. just because this is my interpretation doesnt mean its the only one- and i hope it doesnt drive anyone away!!
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styx-the-stick · 3 months
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HELLO HI I HAVE SOME RAMBLINGS ABT THE GOS2 ENDING (yes I know it's been almost six months)
so, obviously we know that 'no nightingales' is a reference to a Nightingale sang in Berkley square. but here's another point that could be completely unrelated, for all I know. in act 3 scene 5 of Romeo and Juliet, Romeo says 'no nightingale' in response to Juliet saying 'it was the nightingale and not the lark'
Juliet is saying it is the nightingale because she doesn't want her and Romeo's evening to end - the morning brings Romeo's banishment. But Romeo has realised he has to face his fateat some point and so tells Juliet that there are no nightingales singing.
The nightingale symbolises the peak in their relationship and the lark symbolises the ending. So Crowley saying that there are 'no nightingales' also tells us that his happiest moments with Aziraphale, no matter how brief, must come to an end.
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boxohobo · 4 months
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So more about Nightingale :
I wish we could have gotten to see who he was before everything went to shit. Casey said he met Nightingale once, and he "didn't strike me as the tattoo type".
We know from extra materials than he and Finn were once known as The Righteous Brothers on the force due to their strictly by the book nature and refusal to partake in booze or other drugs.
Do you think this was an affectionate nickname, or sarcasm? I get the vibe he and Finn might have been a bit of a self righteous duo-maybe scoffing or even looking down at fellow agents who didn't keep their noses as clean.
Or were they admirable? The pride of the force sort of agents?
We just don't know. All we ever got to see of Nightingale was drunken rampages and paranoia-but I know that wasn't all he was. There had to have been a man before. A character with a name.
I wish I got to see it.
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crowleys-hips · 2 months
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Look At Me
(a Crowley pov poem)
i'm still learning to seem human
it doesn't come naturally
i'm still not used to living in this skin
i've tried to crawl out of it
but gravity pulls me back in each time
i'm trapped within these bones
my ribcage, my prison
my eyes, a scream, a plea to be seen
look at me
i'm still here
against all odds, against all reason
i'm still here so
look at me
i can't escape, so ensnare me in your arms and please don't let go
look at me
i haven't faded away yet
i'm trapped in this vessel, raw and real
and physical so
look at me
run your hands across my skin
make a dent, leave your teethmarks
scratch my back, bruise my neck
fill me so deep with your essence
that i forget i've ever felt empty
look at me
make me real
make me feel
make me known
claim this part of me as your own
open my chest, crack my ribs
and free me from this prison
i bleed, therefore i am
i break, but you fill my cracks with gold
and i am shaped anew in your gaze, so
look at me
look at me
look at me
make me known
-
i wrote this poem a few weeks ago, partly inspired by this fic by @feiandart and partly (greatly) by my shitshow of a life, and i hadn't meant to post it, but then my friend showed me this Azi pov poem by @crowleys-bentley-and-plants and she was like "hey this sounds like it could be a reply from Azi to your poem isn't that neat" and i was like well now i have to post it so here you go take my suffering
(originally posted in my poetry blog)
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sundayinthcpark · 8 months
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as a fan of both the west wing (1999-2006) and good omens (2019-) i just have to say that actually tori amos is my lord and saviour
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