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ryemiffie · 2 days

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More quotes from my day as even more batfam quotes for yours:

(Warning for vom mentions in this one)

Damian, hovering his face over a toilet bowl: Quick, I need to stab someone or cause someone irreversible truama.

Dick: Ya know, you learning how to outwardly be a kindhearted person isn't a terrible thing.

Damian: ...

Dick: ...

Damian, now vomiting into the toilet: uuughfhhh

Dick: Okay, seems a bit of an excessive reaction but whatever makes you feel better Dami.

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bat-stuff · 10 months

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Batman: Gotham is quiet tonight

Batman, suspicious: too quiet

Meanwhile five blocks away:

Teen Dick: Swiper no swiping!

Criminal, crying: I'll turn myself in just please stop talking

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cardinalcheerio · 7 months

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Dick: Hey Jay, what do you want for your birthday?

Jason: the jokers head.

Dick:...

Jason:...

Dick:...

Jason:... the limited edition Jane austen book collection would be cool too.

#batfam headcanons #bat family #batfam #batfamily #bat brothers #jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #tim drake #incorrect batfamily #jason and dick #incorrect jason todd #jason todd headcanon #jason peter todd #incorrect red hood quotes #red hood incorrect quotes #incorrect nightwing #nightwing incorrect quotes #nightwing

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e-nonsense · 1 year

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Dick: You can't make everyone like you Jason. You're not Y/N.

Jason: Not everyone likes Y/N.

Dick: Who doesn't like Y/N?

Jason: I just meant-

Dick: Names, Jason. I need names

#jason todd x reader #dick grayson x reader #y/n incorrect quotes #red hood incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #nightwing incorrect quotes #red hood x reader #nightwing x reader

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k2ntoss · 2 months

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operator: 911 what's your emergency?

dick: my wife is going into labor, i don't know what to do

operator: is this her first born?

dick: no, this is her husband

#⭒ brain rot ⭒#dick grayson incorrect quotes #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x fem!reader #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x you #dick grayson fluff #dick grayson #nightwing fluff #nightwing incorrect quotes #dc comics incorrect quotes #dc comics reader insert #dc comics imagine #dc comics

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igotanidea · 11 months

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Batfam incorrect quotes

Y/N: Dick, can I pick your brain on something?

Dick (grinning): only if I can pick you up at 8.

Y/N: .......

Y/N: Was that supposed to be your attempt at flirting with me?

#dc incorrect quotes #dc #batfamily incorrect quotes #batboys x you #batboys x y/n #batboys incorrect quotes #dick Grayson #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect dcu #batboys x reader #batfamily x reader #incorrect quotes #nightwing #batboys x reader incorrect quotes #nightwing incorrect quotes #dick grayson incorrect quotes

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 2 months

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Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-

Dick: The stalking?

Bruce: No, we settled that-

Jason: His cloning experiments?

Bruce: I thought he stopped that?

Damian: His hit list?

Bruce: What?

Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?

Bruce: spleen?

Jason: No it’s gotta be the-

Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #bruce wayne #dc robin #robin #damian wayne #he is SO ground #he’s gonna be UN-emancipated

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lustwithoutlore · 2 months

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After a mission…

Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.

Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?

Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.

Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 1 month

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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

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ashoss · 5 months

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average patrol w hood and wing

#mm i found a new pen i like #batfam #batfamily #nightwing #dick grayson #red hood #jason todd #dc fanart #batbros #ash's doodlings #i absolutely love incorrect quotes

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ryemiffie · 18 days

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More quotes from my day turned into batman incorrect quotes for your day!

Joker: And now, the time has come for the jaw-dropping final act of the life of the infamous Nightwing!

Nightwing, pulling an uno card out of nowhere: Nice try, uno reverse!

Joker: Aw damn, you've foiled my plot again!

Jason: What?! All he did was pull out an uno card!

Joker: Yeah, an uno reverse card.

Jason: ??

Joker, handing over his weapon to nightwing: Well I suppose I ought to give this to you now.

Jason: You're just gonna give him your weapon?!

Joker: Well of course, those are the rules.

Jason: So if I had just pulled out my trusty uno reverse card back when you were trying to kill me, you'd have just, what? Stopped?

Joker: you had an uno reverse card on you?

Jason: No I didn't have a fucking uno reverse card on me!

Joker: Oh well that's a shame.

Jason: Are you kidding me right now!?

Nightwing: How do you not carry an uno reverse card around with you wherever you go at this point?

Jason: Why the fuck would I!?

Nightwing: Cause we fight these extravagant assholes everyday, they're all wack, of course they abide by uno reverse card rules!

Jason: Well gee, thanks for the heads up!

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bat-stuff · 9 months

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Journalist talking to Bruce at a Gala:

Journalist: And your son, Richard, he seems like a sweet boy.

Bruce, sweating: yes hes a very well behaved kid

Meanwhile:

Dick, hanging from the chandelier: if I time it just right, I can drop this cheese slice on that man's head

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cardinalcheerio · 4 months

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Dick and Jason arrested:

Dick: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jason: *side eye* ...what?

Dick: a jail bird...

10 minutes later

Dick: How did the bird break into the house?

Jason: By shutting its mouth, like I recomend you do.

Dick *nods and pulls our ventriloquist dummy*

Jason: for fucks sake where the hell-

Dick: A crow-bar!

Jason breaking his record for uncuffing handcuffs and opening a cell door: i can't with you today

*locks dick back in*

Dick: worth it.

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e-nonsense · 1 year

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Dick: Something brought you here, Y/n. Call it what you will… Fate… Destiny…

Y/n: Bruce.

#y/n incorrect quotes #dick grayson x reader #dc incorrect quotes #nightwing x reader #nightwing incorrect quotes

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strawberry-forest-does-stuff · 3 months

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#batfam incorrect quotes #batfam #batfamily #nightwing #dick grayson #red hood #jason todd #red robin #red robin dc #tim drake #tim drake is a menace

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firerose18991 · 6 months

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Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet. They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

#Enough on Tim #let's talk about why Bruce doesn't age #bro has three adult children 10 years younger than him #and HE WAS A HIGHSCHOOL DELINQUENT #bruce wayne #batfam headcanons #batsiblings #batboys #batkids #batdad #incorrect batfamily quotes #nightwing #red hood #tim drake #damian wayne #batman #justice league #chaos shit #with love my loves

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