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no-pucks-given · 3 years

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NILS HOGLANDER | SWEET LOVIN’

A/N: I wrote this imagine a few weeks ago for a few of my friends, since Nils is the only player we have in common. I did rewrite some parts today so I could post it on here as well. It’s just some ‘feel good’ smut with a message.

Warnings: A bit of angst and some talk about insecurities, sweet and soft Nils, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, some swearwords, and some more sweet and soft Nils.

Word Count: 3.8K

It’s hard dating a NHL player, every move they make, every step they take gets noticed by someone. Every mistake, every misstep gets noted down by someone. It’s tough to always be in the spotlight, especially for their relationships and family. You struggle with the amount of negativity you read on the internet about Nils, but also about you and your relationship. You know, oh you know you shouldn’t read anything they write. You should probably just stay clear of social media at all. It makes you feel insecure, and you know it’s stupid, but you can’t help yourself.

Of course there are also a lot of positive notes to read, but it almost seems like you only pick up the negative ones. It’s almost like you enjoy torturing yourself, even though that’s not true at all. You hate it, you absolutely hate it, and yet you can’t stop yourself from getting sucked into the negativity every time. Reading negative things about yourself is one thing, but hearing them in real life is a whole other category.

Today is one of those days. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, you didn’t want to hear anything at all, but you did. You try to shrug it off, but luck isn’t on your side today. The girls follow you into the bathroom, still talking about Nils, about you, and about your relationship. You walk into the first stall you see, locking the door behind you. You try to catch your breath, keeping the tears at bay. There’s no way you’re going to cry with those girls around, you just can’t let them get to you that easy.

You brace your hand on your chest, trying to calm down your racing heart. Your head falls back against the door, slow breaths in and out. As soon as you feel like you have at least some of your composure back, you open the door. You lock eyes with one of the girls, who simply smirks at you. She turns to one of her friends, nodding her head towards you. “I told you she isn’t anything special,” she laughs, her eyes raking over your body. The other girls join her laughter, before turning their backs towards you.

You had no intention of running out, or letting these girls win, but they hit you with the one thing you’re most afraid of. What if you aren’t enough for Nils? What if he finds someone else? Someone better? You freeze, all of your insecurities hitting you at once. Afraid to fall apart right now and there, you turn around, bolting out of the bathroom.

There’s absolutely no way you’re staying here a minute longer than necessary. You came here to study, not to have a mental breakdown in front of all these people. It takes you exactly 3 minutes to pack up your stuff, pay your bill and make your way over to your car. The moment you sit down you drop your head on your steering wheel, letting the tears fall freely.

At some point you calm down, your insecurities still on the surface of your mind, but you know now those girls just tried to get under your skin. They tried to get some sort of reaction out of you, and you gave them exactly what they wanted. You sigh, shaking your head. It doesn’t matter. You know Nils loves you, you know you’re enough for him. You know it. So why is it so hard to accept it sometimes? Because you’re human, that’s why.

Your mood improved immensely by the time you get home. You see Nils’s car in the driveway, smiling softly at the fact he’s home already. The moment you step through the door you drop your bag to the floor, and kick off your shoes. You walk towards the living room, spotting Nils on the couch. “Hey, baby,” you call out to him. His head shoots up, surprised eyes looking back at yours.

“Hi, babe. You’re back early?” he says, questioning your early return. You shrug your shoulders.

“So, where’s my food?” he asks excitedly, looking around for the bag that should contain his food. You blink a few times, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, trying to remember when he asked for food. Nils spots your confusion, an annoyed sigh leaving his mouth. “Really? You forgot my food?” Nils sighs, hand brushing through his hair. “I texted you? Asking if you could bring me some food for after I finished my training?”

At this point you’re just annoyed, if he wanted food he could’ve called. Hell, he could’ve gotten food himself. “I didn’t receive a text, so obviously I didn’t bring you any fucking food, Nils,” you tell him, your words coming out harsher than you intended to.

He raises his eyebrow at you. “Fucking perfect,” he mutters, turning back around.

You sigh again, before pushing past your pride and past your own emotions. “Do you want me to make you something? I can just quickly cook something for you?” you ask him softly.

“Don’t bother, y/n,” he simply tells you, continuing his game.

“You know what, Nils? Go bother someone else if you need anything, but leave me the fuck alone,” you spit out, before turning on your heels and stomping towards the bedroom. You hear Nils yell something at you, but at this point you simply don’t care.

You strip out of your clothes, pulling one of Nils’s sweatshirts over your head, and climbing into bed. You just want to be alone for now, alone with your thoughts, alone with your insecurities. Just alone, engulfed in the cosiness of this bed.

After 30 minutes Nils realises you’re not coming downstairs anymore. He didn’t mean to be so annoyed when you forgot his food, it’s just that he’s really fucking hungry. It’s no excuse, but after an excruciating training he was so desperate for some food. He picks up his phone, scrolling through his messages until he finds your name. The moment he opens your chat he knows he made a mistake. There’s no message from him to you asking for food. “Fuck!” he curses. He realizes he fucked up, badly.

Nils makes his way upstairs, knowing damn well you deserve an apology for the way he acted. He quietly opens the door, eyes searching the room for you. He finds you curled up in bed, softly sniffling. Shit, he didn’t mean to make you cry, it’s the last thing he wants. Quietly he slips off his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers.

Gently he pulls back the covers, revealing your curled up body. He crawls in bed behind you, pulling you close to his body. He moves your hair to the side, revealing the soft skin of your neck. He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, leaving a soft kiss behind your ear. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have been so mad at you, especially considering I didn’t send you any message about food,” he whispers against the shell of your ear.

You can’t help the chuckle that escapes through your sobs. “That’s so you, Nils,” you tell him. He chuckles against your neck, sending chills all over your body. “I’m sorry too, babe,” you sigh, “I just had a really shitty day, and I aimed my frustrations at you.”

Nils traces soft circles on your thigh, still kissing the exposed skin of your neck. “Why did you have a shitty day, y/n?” he asks you softly. You try to shrug his question off, but Nils feels there’s more behind it than you let on. “Talk to me, baby,” he murmurs.

You turn around in his arms, burying your head in the crook of his neck. “It’s just that these girls were talking shit about me, about our relationship, and it made me insecure. They made me doubt myself, and wondered if I’m good enough for you,” you mumble, trying your hardest to not relive their words and looks again.

Nils stills for a split second, before rolling over, crushing you under his weight. He wiggles himself between your legs, looking up at you with a serious expression. His hands move up to cup your face, making sure you’re hearing every word he’s about to tell you. “There’s no other woman for me out there, y/n. You are it for me, okay?” He looks at you expectantly, you nod your head at him. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, there’s no one who catches my eye like you do. No one, y/n.” he tells you, his eyes swirling with love, adoration. You listen to every word he has to say, every doubt you had leaving your body.

Nils looks at you, a wicked glint in his eyes, the smirk on his face promises you nothing but mischief. His hands slide from your face towards your breasts, squeezing them softly. “You have the most amazing tits, and I can’t stop touching them,” he says cheekily, giving you one of his boyish smiles. You laugh at his statement, but Nils isn’t done yet. His hands slide down further, cupping your ass in both his hands. “Your ass is so nice, I don’t even have the right words to describe it,” Nils says, squeezing each cheek.

At this point you’re a giggling mess underneath him, enjoying all the things he has to tell you, but mostly enjoying carefree Nils. His hands once again move, this time towards your panties. You gasp when he cups your pussy. “I fucking love your pussy, I can’t wait to bury myself inside of you again,” he groans out, clearly thinking about things that hopefully will happen.

“I love every single part of you, every single part of your body and every single part of your soul. I love it all. Do you know what my favourite thing is?” Nils asks, his eyes locked on yours. You shake your head, while Nils moves his hand towards your chest, putting his palm over your heart. “This. This is my favourite part of you, y/n. Your pure heart, full of love for everyone who deserves it, and maybe even for those who don’t deserve another second of your attention and time. Even though you’ve been hurt so many times, you still love with everything you have, unconditionally. It’s my favourite part of you, because you decided to love me.”

Your chest tightens at all the sweet words Nils tells you, all his love for you showing over and over again. You try to tell him you feel the exact same way, but the words won’t come out of your mouth. Instead you grab the back of his head, slamming your lips on his, hopefully showing him that you love and appreciate him just as much.

Nils groans against your lips, pushing his body further into you. You grind your hips against him, feeling his erection against your core. Nils licks across your bottom lip, softly asking you to open up for him. You comply, your tongue meeting his, swirling and twisting around the other. There’s no battle, no fight for dominance, it’s just simply you and him.

Nils’s eyes find yours, he does this every time you end up in bed, or anywhere else for that matter, every time he needs the reassurance and permission that it’s okay, that he can continue with his plans. It’s such a turn on and he doesn’t even know it. “Can I?” he asks you softly, playing with the hem of your sweater.

“You can,” you confirm, smiling softly at him.

His hands immediately grip the hem of your sweater, tugging it over your head, leaving you in just your panties. His eyes rake over your barely clad body. “I’m going to show you just how gorgeous you are, baby,” he whispers against your lips.

He claims your lips once more, his hand finding your breast. You moan into the kiss when his fingers close around your nipple, rolling the taut bud between them. Your hand moves down to Nils’s erection, but he swats your hand away. You raise your eyebrow in question at him, while he softly chuckles at you. “No, baby. This is all for you,” he says, his head lowering towards your neck. “and maybe a little bit for me as well.”

Nils gently sucks on the skin of your throat, making his way down your body. He makes sure he doesn’t skip any part of you, pampering every single inch of your skin with love and affection. His earlier sweet words, his loving way of caressing your body, drives you insane with need. Need for Nils, need to have him inside of you, need to feel him everywhere.

Your hand grips his hair when his mouth closes around one of your nipples, sucking the bud into his mouth. “Oh god, Nils,” you moan, the sensation moving through your body like lightning. While Nils gives your breasts the attention they deserve with his mouth and hand, he slowly pulls down your panties with his other hand.

His fingers find your dripping core, his thumb circling your clit. “Fuck, baby, you’re so wet for me,” Nils groans out against your chest. You cry out as soon as he pushes two fingers inside of you, engulfing himself in your familiar warmth. Nils moves further down your body, while continuing to fuck you with his fingers.

His lips close around your clit, sucking the soft bundle of nerves into his mouth. You moan out at the sensation, gripping Nils’s hair tightly between your fingers. “Nils, please,” you beg him, not even sure what you’re exactly begging for. At this point it could be anything. You look down at Nils, his face buried between your legs. His eyes locked on yours as he eats your pussy like it’s his last meal.

You pull at his hair, trying to get his attention. “What do you need, y/n?” he asks you, before continuing his torturous ways.

“I need you, Nils,” you mumble, so far lost in the pleasure Nils gives you.

You can feel him smirk against your core. “Soon, baby. First I need you to come for me, okay?” he asks, even though you know it isn’t a question at all. You nod your head, so desperately for some kind of release.

It’s the way Nils murmurs soft praises and dirty words that send you falling over the edge. You come all over his fingers, his mouth, his name falling off your lips like it’s the only thing on your mind.

Nils watches the way you orgasm, he’s sure the blissful look on your face is his favourite part of making you come. The way all your stress, worries, doubts leave your body, he’ll make you come another thousand times if he could, just to see that look on your face over, and over. The way you clamp down on his fingers has his cock throbbing in his boxers. He can’t wait to feel you wrapped around him, to bury himself inside of you again, and again, and again.

He keeps his eyes on yours as he pulls back, fingers slipping out of you. Your mouth falls open as he slips his fingers into his mouth, licking them clean. The wicked glint in his eyes tells you he isn’t finished yet. “You taste so good, y/n,” he says, before leaning forward, capturing your lips with his. You can taste yourself on his lips, on his tongue, everywhere. The experience so intimate, so raw.

Nils breaks the kiss, moving back to sit on his knees. His hand moves over his stomach, slipping underneath the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down enough to free himself from his confinements. His fist closes around his rock-hard erection, thumb spreading the already leaking precum over his tip.

He crawls back between your legs, opening you up wider for him. He braces himself on one arm beside your head, trying to keep his weight off you. His other hand grabs one of your legs, hooking it around his hip. You gasp at the sudden contact of his cock on your core. Nils smirks at your reaction as gently guides his cock between your folds, slowly pushing inside of you.

Inch by inch he slides inside of you, always watching for signs to see if you aren’t comfortable, if you aren’t ready for more. The moment he’s fully buried inside of you, he releases the breath he’d been holding in. “You okay?” he asks softly. You nod your head, pulling his face closer to yours. You press your lips on his, while Nils slowly starts moving inside of you.

Nils keeps his pace slow, deep, embracing every second he can spend with you like this. Connected, lost in each other, it’s never been better than right now. He can’t take his eyes off you, every single moan, every single sigh that leaves your mouth spurs him on to keep things slow, and intimate, relishing every single second spent inside of you. “I’ve never felt more alive, more at home than like this, y/n. Never,” he rasps out.

You wrap both your legs around his waist, allowing Nils to slide even deeper inside of you. He moans out at the feeling, sending chills all over your body. There’s just something about Nils moaning that turns you on more, and more. “You’re my home, Nils,” you tell him, nails digging into his back.

His slow, deliberated motions show you everything words can’t explain. This, the way he makes love to you, means more to you than words ever could. The connection between the two of you goes further than anything you ever felt before, it’s out of this world, absolutely astonishing. This goes further than love, further than lust, further than desire, it’s everything.

Nils brings you closer, and closer towards your orgasm, his thrusts deep, his words soft, sweet, and dirty, the perfect mix. His arm around one of your legs, keeping you even closer to him. You close your eyes, breathing turning erratic. Nils claims your lips once more, swallowing your scream of pleasure, when you finally shatter around him. Never, never felt an orgasm like this, your mind completely mush, while your body feels like it’s on fire. Your eyes roll to the back of your skull, nails digging into Nils’s back so hard, you probably broke skin.

Nils lets himself go as soon as you reach your high, his own orgasm ripping through his body. “Fuck, fuck, y/n,” he groans out, emptying himself inside of you. Nils collapses on top of you, head buried in the crook of your neck. Aftershocks still rock through his body due to probably one of the most intense orgasms he ever had.

Your hand softly brushes through his hair, a content sigh leaving Nils’s mouth. “You okay there, love?” you ask him softly.

A raspy chuckle leaves his throat, before he raises his head. “Fuck, yes. That was mind-blowing.”

Nils rolls of you, crawling out of bed. He makes his way over to the bathroom, giving you a perfect view of his even more perfect backside. Nils catches you staring at his ass, when he looks back to you over his shoulder. He laughs, sending you a wink, before walking into the bathroom. You smile to yourself, how did you get so lucky with him?

Seconds later Nils comes back out of the bathroom with a damp washcloth in his hand. You smile softly at him, when he gently cleans up the mess you both made between your legs. “Thank you, Nils,” you tell him, appreciating his help and care, not only now but always. He shakes his head at you, crawling back in bed beside you.

He pulls you on top of him, arms keeping you close to him. “You don’t have to thank me. I’ll always take care of you, baby, always,” he mumbles against your hair.

“I know, but still. Thank you for showing me I’m stronger than my insecurities, it means a lot,” you mumble against his chest.

Nils sighs, softly placing a kiss on top of your head. “I’ll show you day after day that there’s no one out there like you. You’re special, y/n. I’ll never let you forget that,” he simply tells you, making you smile some more.

You lay on his chest for a while, listening to his steady heartbeat, the soft rise and fall of his chest. Nils grabs your chin, turning your face towards his. He softly pecks your lips, just needing to feel them on his once more, he simply can’t get enough of you. “You have no idea how much I love you, y/n,” he whispers against your lips.

You grin at him, you’ll never get used to hearing those words come out of his mouth. “I do, I absolutely do. You show me how much you care, how much you love me every single day, today is no exception,” you tell him. “I love you, Nils. I love you more than I can tell you, more than I can show you, more than anything in this world.” Nils grins at your words, his strong arms wrapping around your shoulders, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

You giggle at his happiness, while Nils just pampers your face in more, and more kisses. “Stop it, you goof!” you laugh out loud, trying to wiggle out of his arms.

“Never, y/n! Never!” he laughs back at you.

It’s always like this between the two of you. You both love with everything you have, you cry together over stupid things, you fight and make up, but most of all you laugh. You laugh like it’s your final day on earth, like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. His smile makes your whole day, while your smile makes everything seem so simple to Nils.

If there’s one thing you’re absolutely sure of in this world, it’s that Nils loves you with every fibre in his body. He shows you day after day how much you mean to him, how much he loves you, and how much he appreciates you.

You know you’ll never let him go. You know he is the one, there’s no one else out there for you who can compete with Nils. You’re absolutely 100% sure Nils is your soulmate, your best friend, the one you want to grow old with, and you’ll spend every single second of every single day showing him exactly that.

#nils hoglander #nils hoglander imagine #nils hoglander smut #nils hoglander x reader #nils höglander #nils höglander imagine #nils höglander smut #nils höglander x reader #nils hoglander fic #nils höglander fic #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl fancam #hockey fic #nhl smut #hockey smut #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction

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typical-simplelove · 2 years

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✒ for you guessed it, nils and the word: zen

I'm not gonna lie, I definitely went back to our dms for inspiration for this one.

800 Celebration!

~~~

The steam from your tea was no longer rising, and you're pretty sure the cup was cold. All the lights were off except for the TV. There was a small draft in the room as you sat there, cuddled, and under the blankets. All the possibilities of being cold were there, but you ignored every single one. You didn't feel cold in any possible way because your personal heater—Nils—was right there.

You sat cuddled into his side as he was either asleep or barely paying attention to the movie. He was stroking soft patterns on your shoulder as the warmth from your blanket warmed one side of your body and Nils warmed the other half.

"I have to pee," he whispers. So, he was awake.

You vehemently shake your head. "Hold it." Nils chuckles. "You can't ruin my zen."

"Even if I make this couch smell bad and wet?"

"Just hold it," you say with a soft pout on your face. With one look, Nils knows he's not going to pee and just going to hold it.

#800 celebration #word drabble #claudia writes #nils höglander #nils höglander imagine #nils höglander drabble #op: 2021

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dripkingpetey · 2 years

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THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

#I LOVE THEM #imagine them taking turns riding a unicycle and juggling #elias pettersson #nils höglander #vancouver canucks #canucks

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nuckswriting03 · 2 years

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The Trip-N. Hoglander

taglist: @this-is-ally-and-im-confused

It was your first time in months getting to see your brother play hockey. Due to COVID, you weren’t allowed to make the trip from where you attended university in Sweden to visit Elias in Vancouver. Most of the time you would attempt to make your way to as many games as you could as long as you could pass these two criteria A: it had to be on a school break and B: you had to be able to afford the travel costs on your own despite Elias offering to pay for you to visit.

You were so excited to visit Vancouver and see what life was like for him over the pandemic. Sure you saw him when he visited home. But, it had been a long time since you had seen him play hockey in person.

Luckily the stars aligned and you had a long reading break that would give you enough time to not only watch Elias play some hockey but also to visit and catch up before he went on a road trip with the team and school beckoned you back to Sweden.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by your flight landing at the Vancouver Airport. You pulled your carry-on down from the overhead bin. once you got through customs with your carry-on and backpack you rushed toward the arena. Given the number of times you had followed the same route from the airport to the arena, you could practically make your way there blindfolded.

You walked up to gate 16 of the arena, which was the entrance that lead to reception.

"Hey Cassidy here to see your brother?" the receptionist greeted you.

you nodded, "is he in the building yet or is he, ya know being Elias, and late?"

"He is late, probably stuck in traffic or something."

"look at you, making excuses for my brother, when in reality he probably was up late playing video games and therefore overslept his alarms."

She laughed, "ill get someone else to hang out with you until he gets here if you want."

"Nah, I can just drop my bags here then just wander around for a little bit. Most of the team know me so, maybe I’ll run into Brock or Bo or somebody else.”

I dropped my bags behind the desk after making sure I had the essentials and ran off to explore. you were wandering and waving to staff you recognized.

"Hey if it isn't little Petey." you heard a voice call behind you.

You pivoted on your heel to see Bo and Brock looking at you. "You know I despise that nickname with all my being. Plus, I'm only a year younger than him."

they gave you quick hugs, "Yeah, we're just messing with you Cassidy."

"Yeah I know, I know. Has my brother arrived yet or did he forget that I was arriving today?"

"he hasn't arrived yet but until he gets here I'll do the one thing that your brother hates."

"Ooh, you are going to introduce me to the younger players?"

Brock nodded walking with you towards the locker room. Before leading you in he did the customary yell to make sure that everyone was decent prior to you entering the locker room.

You entered the locker room once Brock gave you the all-clear. As you talked in you waved hello to the guys that you knew already. "So, if you haven't met her already this is Cassidy. She is Elias's younger sister." Brock sad addressing the room.

You smiled and walked over to your brother's locker. "I never knew that Elias had a younger sister." A voice spoke.

You turned to see Nils Hoglander looking at you from the locker beside you. "Yup, I'm Elias's sister. Overprotective ass."

nils laughed, "Well its nice to meet you Cassidy. is there a certain reason I hadn't heard of you before?"

"Like I said overprotective older brother, unless you had been drafted or played for the canucks before Elias was drafted you wouldn't know about me because of my borhters lovely habit of not allowing me to be around players that he plays with that are around the same age as him." You said quickly.

"Ohh, that does sound like something your brother would do." He responded.

"I'm sure that if he could I would not be allowed around Brock as well but, he's far too good friends with him to do that." You whispered.

Nils laughed and you continued your conversation in between you waving to the rest of the players as they arrived in the locker room. Until Elias showed up you were determined to continue hanging out with the guys. But, your hopes were short-lived as your brother showed up and you were shooed out of the locker room by your brother with nothing more than a brief wave goodbye to the rest of the team.

Nils popped out of the room quickly and walked you to the reception where you collected your bags and prepared to head to the hotel. "Hey Cassidy," Nils spoke meekly, "I want to get to know you more before you have to head back to school. So, I was wondering if I could take you out on a date on Thursday, if that works for you?"

You smiled and nodded, "That would be awesome. Here," you said quickly writing your number on a slip of paper and giving it to him, "here is my number, text me the details."

With that, you picked up your backpack and headed towards your hotel with a satisfied smile on your face.

Nils had the same smile painted on his face when he got back to the locker room which caused his teammates to heckle him about making a move and prompting Elias to give him the usual overprotective older brother speech.

-------

Thanks for reading another imagine. tumblr deleted half of this imagine for no reason as I finished writing it so then I rewrote it.

my inbox is open for any and all requests you may have, or just any thoughts you may have

-Mollie <3

#nils höglander #nils hoglander #nils hoglander imagine #vancouver canucks #vancouver canucks imagine #canucks imagine #canucks

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boeswhore · 2 years

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𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐰𝐨 → 𝐧𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

inspired by selena gomez’s “back to you.”

join my taglist !

prompt list

50. “it hurts so much. why does it hurt so much? i just want it to stop.”

54. “hey, look at me. focus on me alright?”

summary: you and nils broke up because he told you he didn’t love you. little did you know far from the truth, he couldn’t move away but that was the only option he thought he had left. what happens when you stay in touch with his close teammates and they take you to one of his games to finally meet again..

pairings: ex!nils x ex!reader

tw: slight panic and anxiety attack.

word count: 1.9k

note: just a quick shoutout to my bestie @hugheshugs for helping me out with my writers block! love you riri :)

you know you shouldn’t miss him, but you do. he crosses your mind every now and then and you wonder if you ever crossed his. he broke you — tore you apart piece by piece yet your heart still longed for him.

nils was everything you’ve ever wanted, everyone complemented on how well your relationship was with one another. he made you happy, he gave you everything a boyfriend could give his significant other.

you had your annual hangouts and dates, he even introduced you to his family and teammates. you grew super close with his friends and they considered you as a little sister to them at this point. he promised he was going to marry you.

everything was perfect, at least that’s what you thought, that’s what everyone thought.

"are you kidding me?" you yell and nils shakes his head, avoiding eye contact. "i’m sorry y/n, its- just not working out for me anymore." he says quietly and you try your best to keep in the tears that were so desperately trying to slip through.

"all we had was nothing to you? all the promises, all the memories, were they all just a game to you?" you whisper, letting the tears slowly trickle down your hot cheeks. "y/n i- you just don't understand; the feelings for you, that spark we once had- it's just gone.”

"what do you mean you don't have feelings for me anymore? we planned everything out nils, we even planned out our fucking wedding and the name of our kids for our future god dammit!" you cry out and nils just looks down, playing with his fingers.

"i-i’m sorry, i just can't do this anymore y/n, you deserve someone better." he mumbles and you shake your head. "no nils. i don’t believe you. tell me you don't love me anymore.” he continues toying with his fingers, looking anywhere but at your broken state in front of him.

you angrily stomp over to him, "say it to my face, look me in my eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore!" you demand; tears streaming down your face. nils slowly looks up with tears in his eyes.

“i don’t love you anymore.”

you chuckle, stepping away from him wiping away your tears. "so that's it. all those years i’ve spent dedicating my entire life to you and you end it just in a split second, honestly fuck you nils. have a great fucking life!" you spit grabbing your keys and running out the door; slamming it shut behind you.

and as much as you wanted for the closed door to open and have him come out apologizing you know that there’s no chance that will happen. you may have closed that door, but he had the key to it in his hands.

it’s been about six months since your last argument with nils. you would watch his games from home sometimes, but never got through it all without tearing up. you kept in close touch with elias, brock and quinn and recently began growing a bit closer with some of the others.

you would be lying if you said you didn’t miss him.

occasionally the boys would try pushing the question of speaking with nils again but you claimed that you had no interest whatsoever — but they knew you better than anyone else.

the boys had a game later on today but the trio insisted you come meet them at the local cafe you’re always hanging out by for some coffee. obviously you can’t turn down coffee. it’s the only thing that keeps your body running.

“there she is!” brock exclaims as he engulfs you into the biggest bear hug. you smile, as you walk yourself one by one giving the three boys a hug.

“long time no see, how have you been little one?” elias asks and i roll my eyes. “you just saw me last week,”

after bickering back and forth, you’re all huddled around each other, sipping warm coffee and talking about whatever was thrown in the conversation.

the goofiness tends to come to a halt and you raise your eyebrows in confusion. “why so quiet all the sudden?” you ask, taking a sip out of your coffee. quinn shuffles his feet before turning to look at the other two boys who wore a similar expression.

“well— uh we were kinda wondering you would like to come to the game today? we have a ticket for you.” quinn says. your breathing hitches as you try to process the words that just left his mouth.

“quinn- i can’t,” you whisper, trying not to let your emotions get the best of you. your hands play with the ripping paper of the cup, pulling at it trying to calm your nerves.

brock sighs; “look y/n, i know it’s hard for you. but we’re all here and we know you’re going to be watching it anyways from home- why not just watch it live in the actual arena?” he states.

you felt like you could pass out right now. the fact that you would be seeing him ran through your mind like a relay marathon.

“please y/n,” elias adds. you look up from your cup and see the three boys watching you with nothing but hope in their eyes.

you let out a shakey breath, “fine. i’ll come,”

you make your way down the stairs to find your seat and your mouth goes wide open as you see where the placement is.

front glass.

your heart was ready to fall down to your stomach. you take another shallow breath, before taking a seat.

one by one the boys come out, skating quick laps around the ice warming up before the game starts. your heart begins racing more and more as you see the familiar number 21 make his way onto the ice.

there he was, skating so effortlessly. he hasn’t changed a bit.

his eyes suddenly lock with yours and it felt like the world just stopped spinning. his smile slowly drops and you look down at your feet, anywhere that wasn’t his eyes.

conor skates by and hits his hand across the glass; trying to catch your attention. you smile and he shoots you a playful wink.

the game starts and every now and then nils would throw glances towards where you were sitting and without even noticing, you were doing the exact same. in the end, the boys won 3-2 against the habs and you smile in contentment as you began to make your way out of the crowd that was beginning to pick up.

elias insisted you come towards the locker rooms before you left and you agreed in the moment but now you felt nothing but regret.

you were going to see him.

quinn was already washed up and scrolling through his phone. “hey y/n. you came,” he says softly, as he pulls you into a hug. for some reason you were starting to feel your emotions whirling around and you couldn’t seem to stop them.

you wrap your arms tighter around his neck and he senses somethings wrong. “hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, running his hand up and down your back comfortingly.

“i- i can’t be down here quinn.” you mope and quinn sighs.

“yes you can y/n. i know it’s hard for you— hell it’s hard for all of us, but i know he misses you.” he reassures and you pull away, shaking your head.

“y/n— you need to talk to him. you both have a lot of explaining to do.” conor adds; standing beside quinn. he probably heard everything the rookie was saying.

and to put the cherry on top of the sundae, out walks number 21. he stops when he sees you, and you could feel your heart beating like a drum. he sends you a soft smile and you look at the others who have now made a circle around the waiting area.

brock gives you a nod and a smile and you take a deep breath before looking back towards nils. he motions you to follow him and leads you to a more secluded area.

“hey.”

“hi nils.” you whisper, not trusting your voice at the moment.

“how have you been?” he asks and you shrug.

“i’ve been going to college, i’ve been accepted into here in vancouver so just been caught up with school work.”

“that’s amazing y/n, you’ve always wanted to go to school here,”

you nod, “anyways, i better get going now.” you saying getting up but nils quickly stops your movement.

“wait, stay.” he pleads and at this point you’re trying so hard not to break down in front of him.

“why nils? we haven’t spoken in over six months and now you think everything is okay?”

he shakes his head, “no y/n, i didn’t mean to hurt you. that was never my intention.”

“says every boy ever. you broke me nils,” you whimper.

he tries to reach out but quickly puts his hands down back at his side.

“no y/n, i- i still love you. i had to break up with you because i was scared. i didn’t want my career bringing you down and i didn’t know what to do.”

you scowl, “bull fucking shit nils, you said you didn’t love me anymore! you can’t just barge into my life again and tell me you love me. you left me broken nils. i’m still to this day trying to heal.”

at this point, you gave up trying to keep the tears in and you begin to sob.

nils pulls your fragile frame into him softly; and you cry into his chest gripping onto his shirt for dear life.

“i’m so fucking sorry y/n.” nils whispers, running his fingers through your hair.

“it hurts so much. why does it hurt so much? i just want it to stop.”

your breathing begins to slightly falter and nils catches on. this isn’t the first time he dealt with one of your panic attacks. you got them quite often.

“hey, look at me. focus on me alright?” he demands, holding your face in his comforting hands.

“breathe with me okay? deep breath in and out for me love.” you let out a shakey breath and he nods, “just like that, one more time.”

after a couple of runs, you feel yourself beginning to calm down. you had your arms wrapped around his mid-section but as much as you wanted to pull away, you couldn’t.

he continued to run his fingers through your hair until you slowly move your face out of his chest. you see nothing but regret, and a few tears streaming down face. “i’m so fucking sorry y/n. i love you; i don’t think i’ve ever stopped but if you give me another chance i swear i’ll never let you down again.”

you nod, wrapping your arms around him and he sighs in relief; kissing the top of your forehead. “i love you, i love you so much.”

in that moment it hit you, he could break your heart in two, but when it heals it’d beat for him and only him and you would always go back to him.

#nils höglander #nils hoglander #nils höglander x reader #vancouver canucks #canucks #canucks imagine #nhl hockey #elias pettersson #brock boeser #quinn hughes

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