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kpop---scenarios · 3 years

Text

Without You (1)

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Warning: Death, Mentions of Miscarriage, Sadness, Etc

Word Count: 1.6k

Taglist: @thehunterofsleep @imyourdestanie @hellok1ttycake @ninixloey @jaydeee86 @skittlez-area512 @voltageaddict78 @mingissoggywaffles @biaswreckingfics

"So.." you whisper. You can hear your husband sigh from the other side of the phone. "We're going to my mom's on Saturday." You tell him.

You can hear him chuckle through the speaker, it was one of your favorite sounds from Jinyoung. He was your heart, you swore he was your soulmate. The two of you had only been married for about a year, together for three, but the entire time it was bliss. You couldn't have picked a better man to be by your side.

"That's fine, babe." He laughs. "You know I love your mom's cooking. Maybe we can finally tell her." He suggests. You smile as you place your hand on your stomach, rubbing the tiniest bump you had.

You and Jinyoung had been trying for a few months for a baby, and now that it was finally happening, neither of you felt like you could wait.

"Sure we can." You respond.

"Sorry babe, gotta go. Got a call about a robbery." He suddenly says.

"Okay, I love you." You tell him as you hear his cruiser speeding up.

"Love you forever." He says before the call goes silent.

It had now been nine hours and nineteen minutes since you had heard from him.

"No." You laugh. "He said he was going to be home early tonight." You sigh, looking at the watch on your wrist that read 9:19pm. "Yes mom, Saturday at 4pm, we will be there." You sigh.

Ding Dong.

"You know what, hold on a second mom, there's someone at the door." You murmur, making your way to the front of your house. You never had visitors this late. You look through the peephole and see your Sergent standing there with his head hung low. "Mom." You whisper as you open the door.

"Mrs. Park." He begins.

"Don't." You whisper. "Please.. don't."

"Mrs. Park.. I'm so sorry to inform you.." he pauses with a sigh. "Tonight, during a robbery, Jinyoung was shot. His partner called it in immediately but there was nothing that could have been done. Mrs. Park, we extend our deepest condolences to you at this time." He finishes. The phone drops from your hand, shattering on the floor. Your mind is racing as it loops through the time you had spent together, all your significant moments that lead you to where you were now. The memories all rushed forwards as you dropped down to your knees, clutching your stomach.

Your first date where he tried to eat something with garlic on it, even though he actually despises it, just because he didn't want to seem problematic to you. He was already smitten with you and you had only been on one date.

A year later when he proposed to you, kneeling outside the police station after you had both taken your entrance exams. He told you he had known you were the only one for him from the moment he laid his eyes on you.

The excitement you both felt when you received your exam results, and you both had passed with flying colors. Neither of you could contain the excitement you felt, you were both going to be pursuing your dream jobs.

A little after that, the way he cried when he saw you walking down the aisle in your gown on your wedding day, the way he croaked when he promised to love you for the rest of your life together.

The conversation you both had last week of you telling him you were finally pregnant, he so badly wanted a little mixture of you both running around. He would have been the greatest dad.

This morning when he made love to you before he left for work, the way he held you and whispered how much he loved you. The way he kissed your stomach before he left, so excited for what the future held for you, him and your little bundle of joy.

Everything now was crashing down, everything landing directly on top of you. Jinyoung was always the one who pulled you from the wrecks and kept you swimming above water. Your world was falling apart, and Jinyoung wasn't there to save you anymore. You were drowning and he was gone.

You stood in front of the doors of the entrance to the seating area for Jinyoung's funeral. The more people came to hug you, pat you on the back or give you a sympathizing or heartbroken look, pissed you off. You were barely holding on as it was, and the constant reminder of your lack of a husband, or comment wondering how you were holding up was getting to be too much, especially with the constant look of judgement from Jinyoung's mother.

At least you had your baby, that was really the only thing that was keeping you just barely above the surface.

"Ayn." His mother says, looking you up and down. "You look.. presentable."

"It's a funeral, it doesn't matter how I look Mrs. Park." You sigh. "You can find a seat at the front." You finish.

"Is that anyway to speak to your mother in law?" She scoffs. "Maybe had you been a better wife, and been able to keep my Jinyoung home that night, he would still be here. How could you do this to us? You should have been better." She cries.

"Well it's not like I have a husband to be better for now, do I? Go sit your ass down somewhere and please, for my sake shut the fuck up." You spit.

Standing in front of everyone, Jinyoung's casket lay just a few feet from you. You looked out into the crowd, recognizing everyone sitting before you, until you looked in the very back. There sat an unfamiliar man, with black hair and piercing eyes. He sat with his hand folded neatly on his lap as he waited for you to speak.

As you gave your heartfelt eulogy, your eyes wandered the crowd, but somehow always managed to land back on the stranger who sat in the back row. Once you finished, you stepped down, receiving more hugs from more family members. You turned to look back at his seat, now empty.

He had a face you'd never forget.

That evening you went home, alone and exhausted. You were stressed, exhausted and felt like you were living in an alternate universe. You stood in the doorway of your bedroom, you had not been in the room since he died. Your lip trembled as you crawled into his side of the bed, laying your head on the pillow that smelled just like him. All you could do is cry into his pillow until you fell asleep.

What felt like seconds later you woke up to a stabbing feeling in your stomach. When you took the blankets off you, you noticed blood and alot of it. Without hesitation you drove yourself to the hospital to get checked out. You couldn't have lost it.. this wasn't happening.

Hours later you walk out of the hospital feeling empty. Your heart was empty, your stomach was empty.

You had nothing.

You had no one.

And you didn't know if you were going to make it.

A few weeks later you sat in your kitchen, the quietness was something you would never get used to, it was deafening. Life sure had changed from what you had dreamed so long ago. You stared into the textured glass that was holding the last of your anniversary wine, the one you and Jinyoung shared together. It was both your favorites. It was sweet but the bitterness of life burned your eyes and ate at your stomach. You were so fed up, you threw the glass against the kitchen wall where it joined the other three, “oops...it’s all broken now! Just like my life. And that fucking security light that keeps coming on for no damn reason! Why is everything broken,” you screamed. Dropping to your knees crying over broken glass, broken dreams, a broken heart.

“I fucking miss you so damn much,” sobbing you crawl to out of the kitchen. Missing the shadow at the window. Again.

Months and months passed like a blur, but as they continued, you slowly became a newer version of your old self. A year later you were still here, and things had gotten easier day by day, the ache in your heart never left. You still missed Jinyoung immensely but you knew you needed to try and move on, he wouldn't want you to wallow in your sadness. But things had been so different without him. You never realized how much he actually had done for you until you now had to do it yourself, not to mention you never really noticed when weird things happened until now.

The first time you went to the shed to grab the lawnmower, you noticed a faint trail of footsteps in the backyard, from the gate to your back door.

You shook it off and forgot about it pretty quickly.

A few nights later, your best friend and coworker, Joy, invited you for a night out on the town. You reluctantly agreed, but ended up happy you went out.

"I cannot do another shot." You laugh. "I do have to work tomorrow."

"You're working the night shift." Your friend Joy yells. "You're off duty, live a little." She says, sliding another shot towards you while she holds her own. You roll your eyes but pick it up, and shoot it back.

"Oh god." You gag. "You have terrible taste in alcohol."

"And men." She giggles.

"I'm going to the bathroom." You say, sliding your chair back and heading towards the bathrooms.

You had your head down as you walked, and barely noticed the man coming towards you. Your shoulder collides with his chest, knocking you back a bit. You look up to apologize and recognize him immediately.

"It's you." You whisper.

"I'm sorry?" He laughs.

"You were at my husband's funeral." You say. "How did you know him? Park Jinyoung."

His face lights up. "That's right, you were his wife." He says. "I'm Lim Jaebum. I was his partner."

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