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#no I'm doing great why do you ask

lexarga · 25 days

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well it finally happened. i finally went insane about these old men.

it's been a week. the amount of psychic damage i have taken is insurmountable. hope you like it<3

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #angst #taylor swift #wildest dreams #i'm doing fine i'm having a great time why do you ask :)

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yandere-daydreams · 11 months

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Would it be alright if I request a Yandere Platonic Killua and Gon and Yandere Hisoka and Illumi with a F!Tanjiro Reader (Who has Nezuko with her) that’s very affectionate, kind and warm towards them, yet becomes fiercely protective of them (She broke some of Illumi and Hisoka’s ribs in anger over their unhealthy behavior/interest towards Gon, Killua and Nezuko) and Killua and Gon instantly imprinted on Reader as their ‘Big Sister’ after this (Killua is very protective of Reader and Nezuko because of how kind they are to him like with Gon) Killua likes how Reader makes him feel warm (As in he feels safe and he can always trust Reader with anything)

Meanwhile Illumi and Hisoka became interested in Reader because of her strength and skill (Harming a Zoldyck and a Phantom Troupe Nember without Nen is an impressive feat worthy enough to potentially marry in the Zoldycks, while Hisoka is just being his creepy ass self)

I’m so hyper-fixated on Hunter x Hunter right now

i know i probably shouldn't say this kind of thing since i don't even take requests anymore, but there's always been something so unintentionally selfish about this kind of prompt to me. 'hey just write me space opera when you have the time pls' babe when would i have the time. in what world would i possibly have the time. for free, nonetheless.

#like i'm not mad or anything #i'm just having a lot of thoughts about the relationships between bloggers and readers rn and this is sorta part of it #like it's great if you have a super fleshed out idea with an intricate set-up and defined dynamics #but if you're not going to base it on anything i've already got going on or commission me for an extended piece #then like #why don't you just write your fic... yourself?#if you don't know that i don't take requests then you clearly do not care that much about me #so why do i have to be involved at all #personal #anon ask

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nateriverswife · 3 months

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I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I feel the need to say this because I've seen it quite a few times. Stop acting like your OC is better just because they aren't a self insert. I've read so many OCs introduction posts where people needlessly specify that they aren't a self insert. Okay, and? Should we clap? If you mention it just for the sake of it, without anyone asking, it truly feels like you are saying, "Yeah, my OCs are not S/Is so they are undoubtedly superior. You should give me all your attention and support". It's very unwelcoming. Stop it.

#am I taking offense on someone else's behalf? yes. sue me #I just hate it. I'm sorry.#I need people who do this to ask themselves why they feel the need to do that #is it because you think it's shameful that people might perceive them as self inserts?#because more often than not that's the reason and I don't think it's a great mindset to have #original character #self insert #d.exe

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mobius-m-mobius · 6 months

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Thank you for posting all those gifs of Mobius being kind and supportive together. I've seen some takes about Mobius deserving it, but logically it doesn't make sense. He's already doing everything he can to save the timelines. He doesn't want to know his past, nor does he need to know to be motivated to save the timeliness, because he's already been doing since ep 1. Even if we make the argument he has no real free will until he sees his past, this argument is disingenuous because he's using his free will NOT to see it. From a narrative and character development standpoint, he will be forced to see it for the audience's entertainment, because he is a fictional character with no free will-- the screenwriters are the gods (Time Authors, if you will).

In-narrative, you could make a case he should see his timeline if he were actively trying to keep the TVA the way it was, but that's not the case with him. Sylvie's accusations this fall flat.

Mind, I'm not against Sylvie's proposition to start from scratch. Revolutions are important and serve that function. But the TVA is the only organization with people who know how the Loom and timespace work. It's not unreasonable for them to try to stabilize the situation, save the lives of as many timeliness as they can, and consider dismantling the TVA entirely and starting from scratch later.

Since we're dealing with time paradoxes, it's possible that the collapse of the Loom is what causes Loki to recruit Mobius, B-15, and Casey (I'm not sure what kind of entity OB is?) from their timelines. If they all accept, then Loki was the original creator of the Heart of the TVA. It's possible HWR took over at some point in the future and wiped everyone's memories then. The future influenced the past, thus closing the time loop. If this is the case, then Sylvie also contributed to the creation of the TVA, because killing HWR triggered the destruction of the Loom, which will force Loki to recruit, which will create the TVA, which will monitor the multiverse, which at some point will be taken over by HWR to create the Sacred Timeline, which become the multiverse one again after Sylvie kills him, which will destroy the Loom, which will cause Loki to recruit.

Of course!!! Always a delight to and on that note we're truly seeing eye to eye on every single point you raised so thank you for such an amazing ask! Exactly the conversation I was craving after making those gifs just to get some things off my chest about how Mobius gets treated since as you said, he's already been doing everything possible to protect the timelines while clearly under incomprehensible pressure yet has never hesitated to evaluate and change his worldview accordingly to better serve the whole.

Honestly confused by those insisting he HAS to see his past and is in the wrong for not having done so because isn't that up to him?? Doesn't matter what his reasons are, he's entitled to his choices and I can honestly say without hesitation if I were in his shoes my decision would be the same. He enjoys his job, he's incredibly good at the work (people seem to forget he's facilitated the progression of basically every plot point), and has recently built more connections he appreciates and wants to grow than in the entirety of his life combined so why is he not allowed to make a single decision in his own interest when neither his approach to changing the TVA nor any other person is being impacted? But you're exactly right about how regardless he'll be made to have the experience anyway and while I'd be perfectly happy with that never happening I accept the advancement of narrative as a given and can only hope whatever cards he's dealt are ones that only bring him peace of mind about the work he's done so far and in the future.

(adding a read more here because I've got a feeling this is gonna be a long one, lol)

Have also seen many people saying Sylvie blowing up at Mobius was necessary or that he needed to hear it but that logic is completely missed on me? For example Ravonna did the same but considering the amount of history between them her reaction is fully understandable even if I don't agree with the points she made about his compassion being a weakness. Mentioned this to a friend earlier but I truly wish it had been some random character besides Sylvie who yelled at him simply because she doesn't have the kind of personal connection to make judgements and because I don't want any ship war elements at play or anything when my take is solely based around wanting Mobius to be recognized as someone who has been good and kind from the start? Watching him be put down for that as if it's fact in basically every episode is getting exhausting 😔

To that point I also agree with the importance and necessity of revolution but not sure starting from scratch is necessary when the TVA does have a solid base and plenty of people willing to stay and help the cause? In reality there's no time for anyone there to stay currently focused on anything but stabilizing the situation when the alternative is the end of every timeline, burning things to the ground only really counts if there's any ground left to build on which is yet another reason Mobius and the others switched to preservation. For example, O.B's quip about Sylvie ruining his life by killing He Who Remains was complete fact and while I don't have any hate towards her character at all and certainly don't want any mirrored scene of someone yelling at her, etc, it's driving me crazy how she refuses to admit they've actively been saving lives and scrambling to accommodate these unexpected branches while she was at a MCDONALD'S.

My ep 5-6 theory matches yours regarding about the collapse of the Loom being the cause of Mobius, B-15, and Casey ending up at the TVA because their Nexus event technically isn't one, it's them choosing to leave with Loki of their own free will and the good of existence. I'm also not sure if O.B. was ever a variant so he could possibly be the key to figuring out where Loki can find everyone's original self? Psyched to learn more about him and how he ended up in such a vital position! Hundred percent think the series is ending with Loki as the founder and probable ruler of the TVA but can't quite figure out where the switch to He Who Remains entering the picture fits in, and your point about Sylvie also contributing to the creation of the TVA in an infinite loop is a fascinating one that's going to leave me thinking for a long while so thanks for that as well and of everything I have to admit the possibility of Loki and Mobius being their own ouroboros in creating just the right person to intrigue and change themselves into who they always wanted to be has been giving me life, them as timekeepers along with B-15 has been my hope since the first episode of season 2 and is probably the most incredible place I could imagine leaving everyone if we don't get another season.

#mobius #loki spoilers #apologies in advance for talking your head off a bit but this is what happens when i'm left to ramble and why i don't do it that often 😂#i'll fully admit to likely going into conversations regarding mobius with bias bc of how much i love him BUT #it's not about him not being flawed of COURSE he has flaws it's about him being judged for kindness regardless of those flaws #he's a massive reason why everyone in existence is alive rn and not once expects thanks while others congratulate themselves for running #he's just the most important character and person i've ever come across in media and always will be #ty again for truly one of the best asks i've gotten! absolutely here for some grounded discussion of what's become an incredible show #lots of love to you and hope your weekend's been a great one 💖#ask

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coldshrugs · 4 months

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landmark

pairing: io laithe / estinien varlineau word count: 4.6k summary: [modern au] estinien meets io in a support group for grieving youths. set five years before this.

Estinien is early—the first one in the room, as usual, even before Counselor Miounne arrives. It’s part of the ritual.

Hit the lights and dim them to three-quarters. Turn on the fancy instant coffeemaker, make sure there are enough of those little fucking pods for everyone. Sugar and powdered creamer too. Music on, some unobtrusive classical harp thing he doesn’t care for. Then he arranges nine chairs in a loose circle and, selfishly, puts the least squeaky one in his spot across from the window.

It helps, to do these tasks before their sessions. The work allows him to mentally prepare for this, because when is it easy to circle death’s drain for two hours?

With the space set up, he slings his backpack over his claimed chair and waits.

They stroll into the meeting in ones and twos. They make their coffee, ask about their weeks (in the casual way, where you’re supposed to answer “fine” even if it wasn’t; the real answers will come later). Eventually, Miounne enters and everyone finds a seat.

He isn’t great with names, but he knows a few by now. Lyse, the one with the sister and dad, and one of the youngest members. Leofard, the one with the mom. He knows all the faces though, and the one hovering by the door is new.

She’s tall, but slouching a little, crossing her arms like she’s scared to take up space or trying not to be seen. Inky blue hair is piled into a loose bun on top of her head, with long wavy strands hanging around her freckled face. Her eyes are bloodshot, almost too focused. She must be new.

As he watches her, her gaze cuts over to him—

“Estinien,” Miounne calls. His attention snaps from the girl at the door to his counselor. “Another chair, please?”

“Yeah, sure.” He quickly grabs one from the nearest stack, looking for a decent place to put it. Two kids slide their chairs apart so he can fit this one between them. Right in front of the window.

He sits again and Miounne claps softly, still standing in the center of the circle.

“Hi friends,” she says, more gently than usual. “It’s been a while since we’ve welcomed a new face, hasn’t it? I know we’re all capable of extending warmth and patience to those who need it, so let’s be mindful of that as we welcome Io to our group, okay?”

She gestures to the door, beckoning the new girl in. Io. He’ll try to remember that. He wonders who she lost and when, and tries not to wonder how. The how never matters anyway. Gone is gone.

“Welcome to Haven: Youth Grief Counseling, Io. Take a seat, just there, sweetie.”

Io sits down and Estinien regrets this seating arrangement; he’s lost the window view. She glances around the circle, her polite smile is a tight line. Her eyes flick to him once more, then back to the floor.

Miounne sits too. She claps one more time and they begin.

Next week starts the same. His chin is in his hand, elbow propped on his bouncing knee as they arrive. Lyse. Leofard. New girl.

Leo takes his seat next to Estinien and leans over. Oh god.

“Estinien,” he whispers loud enough for almost everyone to hear. His eyes flash to the new girl making coffee by herself. “I found out what her deal is.”

“Happy for you,” Estinien says. That’s not his business. But he stupidly glances at Leo anyway.

“She’s like you. Total wipeout—we’re talking mom, dad, two younger siblings—about a year ago. Just now going back to school, apparently.” He looks at her again, taking a bold head-to-toe survey, and Estinien follows. She’s tall, willowy, and there’s something disciplined about her posture; the set of her shoulders feels intentional even in her depression slump. Her ears tilt, and he turns back around. Leofard is still staring. “Wonder what else she’s ready to get back into…” He winks at Estinien.

“Probably best to leave her alone. She’s not here to find a date,” he says.

Leo huffs in fake offense. “Well, neither am I but if it happens, it happens.”

A month passes, one week bleeding into the next, and Estinien is always early to Haven. But someone is earlier today, of all days. The door is open, the light is on, and the chairs are in their circle.

Io is waiting.

He remembers her name now. It’s easy to remember the girl who hasn’t said anything in five sessions. It’s unusual, but understandable; they’re all strangers to her, and if what Leofard said is true, he’s impressed she’s showing up at all.

Estinien recalls what his loss was like a fresh wound—the anger throbbing in his chest, sobbing his voice raw for days, not eating or sleeping. He wouldn’t speak to Alberic at first, either. It feels so childish to him now. But looking at her… those feelings echo in his chest, and he is sharply reminded that grief doesn’t shrink.

He shoots her a courtesy smile as he starts the coffeemaker and CD player.

“Sorry about the shitty music,” he says as the sound of softly plucked strings fills the space. When he looks over, she’s staring at the floor again, eyes wide—that awkward “what the fuck” face—and his stomach flips. He said something wrong.

Cool.

He takes his seat across from her, trying to bury the urge to wait on the bench just outside the room when his chair squeaks. Great. He takes a deep breath and rolls his eyes. To deal or not to deal? He is, unfortunately, too big for the noise to keep from happening and he can’t be annoyed for the next two hours. What does he care if she thinks he looks crazy?

He stands up and jostles the next chair, which is better but not great. He tries the next. Even worse.

“What are you doing?”

The rasp of her voice is so quiet that he doesn’t fully catch the words.

He looks up from the red plastic in his hand. “What?”

She looks like she wishes she’d not asked at all, rubbing a hand anxiously over her arm. She sighs. “With the chairs. What are you doing with the chairs?”

“Trying to find one that doesn’t squeak. I usually—”

“I took that one.” She glances up at him, grimacing, but there’s a light in her eyes. It’s the least miserable he’s seen her so far. She thinks this is funny. “Sorry. You can have it back.”

He puts a hand up when she stands. He’s not taking the chair from the sad girl. “Uh… no. No, you can take it. There’s probably another one that isn’t annoying as fuck, I’ll find it.”

“Then let me help you. It’s only fair, since I disturbed your whole—” she gestures slowly around the meeting room— “process.” God, her voice is in shreds.

He can’t say no when this is the first sign of life she’s shown in over a month, at least here. He nods. “Sure, if you want.”

They go through the chairs in the circle, then the others neatly stacked in the corner. They don’t really talk, besides simple directions: “I tried that one already,” and “will you pass me another,” and “holy shit, that’s the worst one yet.” Estinien is keenly aware of her shifting around him, slowly at first, and then with less hesitation. Finally, they find a chair that doesn’t creak when he sits or moves. It goes in his spot and they clean up the rest.

“Hey,” Io says, and the word is conspiratorial. She catches his gaze, and something about hers makes him feel like glass, like they almost know each other. Like he’s seen her before, a blurry smile littering the backgrounds of photos in the album he managed to salvage, only viewed in profile or half out of frame, obscured by the barely remembered vacation or birthday party in the foreground. He swallows as she reaches into her bag and pulls out a black marker. “Should we make sure we never lose these again?”

“Vandalism? In our therapy group?” He squints, shoving down the fondness she’s conjured in just a few minutes. “Do you even need to ask?”

She laughs, or tries to. It comes out weak and cracked as she crosses to his side of the circle and kneels beside him. She pops the cap off the marker. “It’s Estinien, right?”

He nods, “Yeah.”

“I’m Io. The other total wipeout”—she air quotes Leo’s label—“but you already knew that.” She scribbles a small “E” on the side of the chair then heads back over to her own, where she writes an “I.”

It’s almost time for group to start.

“Are you gonna talk about it today?” Estinien asks. It’s just them sitting directly across from one another, surrounded by empty chairs.

Io shrugs, and her body seems to fold in on itself. Making herself small again. “I don’t know. It’s hard to talk about it at all. I’ll try?”

“You don’t have to. But it does help, in a weird way.”

The others drift in at the usual leisurely pace, Miounne claps, and they begin.

First question: “How are you feeling today?”

They go in a circle starting at Miounne’s left. Some answers are simple, like Leo’s.

“Pretty good. I started planning a trip for fall break, somewhere I think Mom would’ve liked to see. I’m looking forward to telling you guys about the trouble I got into when I’m back.”

Sometimes there’s a follow-up, sometimes Miounne will let it hang. Estinien has no idea how she gauges that, but it feels right.

He’s third to answer.

How does he feel today? He picks at the frayed edge of a hole in his jeans.

“I’m kind of anxious today. I declared my major this year so everything feels… more real, I guess. I’m trying to study for a couple of tests next week but I read the page and it may as well be blank. Nothing sticks. I keep worrying I might…” He pauses. This is normally when he’d look out the window; when something heavy rises to the surface, it’s easier to look outside, but for five weeks, Io has been sitting in front of him. The broken habit means he shares less. But how can he encourage her if he can’t bend a little himself?

He looks up, and there she is—dark, curious, and strangely calming, her eyes burn a hole right through him. Behind her, the trees in the courtyard are starting to take on shades of autumn, gold and bronze intensified by the sunlight filtering through the leaves. It’s a view he can deal with. Io gives him an almost imperceptible nod.

“I worry I might let them down. It feels stupid to say out loud,” he laughs with a short snorted breath. “It’s always in the back of my mind though: what would they think of me now? What does this action mean to them? I guess it doesn’t mean anything and I should just study for the damn test so I can actually be someone they’d be proud of. Anyway… yeah, I’m anxious today.”

Miounne reclines a little in her seat. “Have you tried anything to help you study, to shift that focus on what your family would think towards something more current?”

He nods, looking from Io to Miounne. “Yeah, uh, I’ve asked a friend to join me. We’re going to try that today. He’s been pretty supportive since learning about all of this, and his grades are better than mine anyway. And I try to think about Alberic, my former guardian, I guess. I think he’d be proud of me no matter how I end up, so that helps.”

“Excellent,” she says, looking around at the others before spelling out the lesson. “Leaning on others is a great way to remind ourselves how loved and valued we are, especially when lower moods may make you want to isolate. Re-establishing bonds of friendship, or building new ones, helps bring your focus to just how strong your current support system is, or where it’s lacking. I think you’re doing that beautifully, Estinien. Thank you.”

He exhales, shying away from the praise and returning his focus to his frayed hem. Maybe that’s enough sharing for this week.

They keep going. Io is second to last, and though everyone expects silence by now, Miounne asks anyway.

“How are you feeling today, Io? Anything you want to share?”

He looks up again—will she actually say something today?—and she’s focused on him now. The room is empty again, except for the two of them in the empty circle. Fresh sharpie smell rising from their initials on the chairs.

“Hey,” she says, raising her hand in a little wave. “Sorry for being weird. I’m trying.”

“No such thing as weird in this room,” Miounne offers.

Io doesn’t look away from Estinien. She brushes a stray lock of hair from her eyes, and the tiniest hint of a smile pulls at the corners of her lips.

“I’m feeling okay today. As okay as I think I can feel right now, anyway. I cleaned my apartment this morning. And I’ve been working really hard on a piece for my school’s symphony showcase before fall break. I even invited some friends I haven’t talked to in… too long.”

“That’s wonderful, Io!” Miounne leans forward, elbows on her knees. “I read you major in music at RSU? What do you play?”

Her eyes fall to her lap. “Pedal harp. Mostly classical, but sometimes I make arrangements of new music, for fun.”

Shit.

“Thank you for sharing today, Io. We appreciate the opportunity to get to know you.” Miounne moves on, and so does everyone else.

But Estinien is stuck on this one thing. His stomach ties itself in a knot. Without knowing, he insulted her, and then she helped him with the stupid chairs… And it doesn’t even matter, because she doesn’t know him. They don’t go to the same university, and the only things they have in common are their dead families and the two hours a week they spend in this room. He has no notions of being friends with her, and definitely nothing like what Leofard has in mind. Still, he can’t stop it gnawing at him.

The session wraps and he approaches Io before she leaves.

“Io?”

She turns to him, for once standing at her full height, and they’re almost eye to eye. The almost-smile is back, and that gnaws at him too. “Hey, thanks for the nudge earlier. You were right.”

“Yeah, well,” He fidgets with his keys. “I’m sorry for calling the music shitty. I didn’t know harp was, like, a thing for you.”

Her laugh is stronger than before. “Wait, are you serious? You had no way to know that, and I’m not the music police. You don’t have to like it.”

He shrugs. “Still not a cool thing to say. I mean, I only really know it from this place anyway.”

“Would you… want to come to my concert?” She asks slowly, then shakes her head. “That might be dumb. That’s all the way across town and we basically just met. I—”

A strand of hair falls into her eyes and his fingers twitch as she tucks it in with the rest. She’s still rambling when the words rush out of him before he considers them.

“Yeah, I’ll come.”

“—Oh.” Wide, surprised eyes blink up at him. “Okay, great! You can bring a friend, or a date, or whatever. I’ll bring tickets for you next week?”

Estinien pockets his keys. “Sure. I’ll see you then.” Despite his clumsy apology to someone who may as well be a stranger, as Io leaves, he feels the same wave of nostalgia from earlier. Some things are true no matter how you fight them.

Estinien enters his dorm with two tickets in hand. Keys in the bowl by the door, backpack under his desk, shoes in the closet. He falls onto his bed with a little bounce, holding the shiny slips of paper up to the light.

“What took you so long?” Aymeric asks from his bed on the other side of the room. He’s reclined on a few pillows, and it looks like he’s alternating between two books. “I’m starving.”

Estinien shrugs. “Got caught up talking to someone after the session. She invited me to her concert in a couple of weeks. Wanna go?” He holds the tickets out for Aymeric’s inspection.

He looks them over, brows raising in slight surprise. “You actually want to go to this?”

“I don’t know, but I said I would.” Estinien sits up. “It can’t be that bad, can it?”

“Is she cute, whoever she is?” Aymeric lazily passes the tickets across the canyon between their beds. “Can’t see why you’d want to go otherwise. I mean, I definitely want to go, it sounds kind of fancy, but you… Hmm.”

“Shut up,” he laughs. There are other reasons, but the most important is making amends for being a dick, even by accident. “Her name is Io. She’s nice, seems cool now that she talks. She’s new to the group.”

“We can go, but you didn’t answer the question.”

“Look, it’s nothing like that. She even said I could bring a date.” Estinien places the tickets in his nightstand drawer, regretting the decision to ask for company.

Aymeric shakes his head and returns to his reading. “You poor, sad muppet. Order a pizza already.”

They stand outside the theater in their untucked button-downs over jeans. Estinien hasn’t been on this campus before, but Aymeric has; thanks to an on-again-off-again thing with some miqo’te guy who goes here, they were able to find the place quickly.

“Are we meeting her before the show?” Ayms asks, scanning the crowd. He’s been eager to learn more about Io in the days leading up to this.

“Nah, she’s backstage, but said I could text her after. It’ll be quick. She has other friends coming, so I’ll just say hi.” It sounds simple enough, but anxiety prickles across his chest.

Inside, they find their seats in the front row of the balcony—a surprisingly nice view.

“Not bad,” Aymeric admires the architecture, comparing things to this venue to the one on their campus, but Estinien hasn’t been in that one either. He only catches half of what’s said, eyes focused on the stage. Aymeric nudges him with an elbow. “She’s the harpist, right?”

He nods. “Yeah, she has a solo at some point.” He rubs his hands on his jeans, sitting forward in the seat a little as the lights go down and the musicians file onto the stage.

“Relax,” Aymeric whispers. “You might enjoy it if you chill out. Look, there she is.”

He points through the dark as she approaches the harp in the back center, almost directly in front of him, and he’s reminded of how they sit during Haven. She’s wearing long black boots and a short dress of the same color, with loose sleeves he can see through. Her hair is down tonight, but pulled back from her face. She’s pretty, even from here.

“Whoa.” Aymeric sits forward too. “You couldn’t just say she’s cute, could you?”

“I told you, it’s not like that. She just lost her fami—”

“SHH!”

Aymeric’s smile is infuriating, cradling his chin in his hand. Estinien shoots him a dark look, then passes a hand over his face as anxiety twists into hot embarrassment, thankful for the darkness as the music starts.

And it’s the music he can’t look away from. There’s more movement in it than he expected, a rawness the CDs or digital streams just don’t portray. Everyone is working to build part of a whole, and each of them can be heard in the larger sound.

Then there is Io.

Admittedly, his experience is limited, but he’s never seen her like this. Every motion is fluid, yet deliberate, even while supporting such a heavy-looking instrument. She is focused, on her hands, on the sheet music in front of her, on the others playing around her. And she looks… serene. Happy.

The tempo slows during the fourth song and a godlight falls on her, a little spot of brightness that eclipses all else. Her solo. Estinien holds his breath.

She builds suspense with sound, then her hands move faster than he can make sense of. Sometimes she places a hand flat against the strings to still them, and that is what hollows out his chest. The elegant control in what he thought was so simple. This is nothing like the CD in their support group. He could listen to this forever.

The rest of the orchestra gradually rises around her until the lights on them lift once more. He might be disappointed if the whole thing didn’t work so well. They bring the song to a close, then stand to take their bows while the audience applauds.

Estinien pulls out his phone. He’s supposed to text her, but how does he follow that? Aymeric hovers over his shoulder, watching him type and delete the same sentence three times.

“What do I say?”

Aymeric rests his chin on Estinien’s shoulder, loudly um-ing and ah-ing, and he almost regrets asking. “How about this: ‘Loved the show. I’m still around if you want to meet up.’ Simple, right? And contextually open-ended, in the unlikely case you get a grip.”

He rolls his eyes but types and sends it while she’s still on stage. It’s several minutes after the musicians exit the stage that he gets a reply: “I’m so glad you came! Take the exit to the left and the door immediately to the right, and tell the attendant you’re with me, see you soon!”

They follow the instructions to a cramped backstage area. People are carrying flowers. Should he have brought flowers? Too late now.

They wander the crowd aimlessly, and his anxiety creeps in with each passing second. There’s a touch at his elbow, light but guiding.

“Estinien,” Io’s voice. Her quiet rasp is familiar to him now, and she sounds far more healthy than when she first spoke to him. He turns to her, and she beams. “Thank you for coming!”

He isn’t sure what to do, and he has no token of congratulations to give her. “Thanks for inviting me. Inviting us, I guess.”

“Us?” Io looks over his shoulder, where Aymeric is practically buzzing as he waits to be introduced.

Ayms extends a hand, “Io, it’s wonderful to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you—”

“He asked constantly. I didn’t want to tell him anything—”

“—and it’s nice being able to put a beautiful face to a beautiful name.”

Estinien covers his face with his hands. “A merciful god would’ve killed me by now.”

Io accepts the handshake, “And you are?”

“Aymeric. Estinien’s roommate and, because he won’t say it out loud, his best friend.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Aymeric. I’m glad you guys came; I know it’s a big ask and it’s not everyone’s taste but—”

“It was amazing,” Estinien’s mouth moves before his mind catches up, something that seems to be common in her presence. Io and Aymeric stare at him, brows lifting in unison. Her neck has flushed red. “I just… didn’t know what to expect, but it was impressive.”

Io’s half-smile, the one he’s learning she wears when she’s nervous, lifts the corner of her lips. “Thank you. I wasn’t trying to change your life or anything. I just thought it’d be cool to show you what I do, and maybe get to know you better too. You know, the “bonds” Miounne is always talking about.”

“Io!” A group of people call out from several feet behind them, waving her over.

She waves to them, then turns to him with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, those are my friends. I’ll be right back.” He watches as she walks away and they sweep her into a noisy group hug.

“Dude,” Aymeric whispers, “Should I go? Do you want me to go?”

“Go where?”

“Go! Home!”

Estinien glances back at Io, and her friends are definitely looking over at them. “And leave me with them?”

Ayms grimaces, balling his hands into fists. “With her!”

Estinien shakes his head. “No, just give me a second and we can both go.” Aymeric silently fakes a scream.

Io returns, wringing her hands as she says, “We’re going to grab some dinner from a place nearby; you guys are welcome to join us.”

He hesitates. Maybe Aymeric is right and he should stay, or maybe assuming someone working through her grief wants anything more than a friendship with him is not in either of their best interests. “We should probably get back. We’ve both got to pack before break starts.”

Io’s expression dampens. “Oh, okay. Well, thanks again for coming out. I’ll see you at Haven in a couple of weeks?”

“Yeah.” He nods. “See you there.”

Estinien turns on the light and adjusts the dimmer. It’s been a while since he’s been first, but Io shows up right after him.

“Hey,” she says quietly, heading to the CD player while he starts the coffee maker. The ritual is no longer just his.

“Hi.” He’s rummaging through the cabinet beneath the coffee station, gathering the supplies, when she starts the music. It’s not their usual instrumental album… “This is from your concert?”

She starts on the chairs. “I hope it’s okay. I emailed Miounne when I got the recording to ask if I could bring it in, to show everyone what I’ve been working on and that I’m kind of normal outside of all this. But I can switch it back, if you’d rather keep the routine.”

His eyes fall closed and he is back in the theater, watching her play in a beam of light, arms unfurling around the strings like flightless wings and he doesn’t think “normal” is a good description of her at all.

“Estinien?”

He opens his eyes.

“No, this is fine.” He stands and arranges the little coffee bar. “I meant it. I thought it was great.”

“That’s a relief,” she laughs a little. “I mean, I believed you, but…”

He frees the rest of the chairs from their neat stack. Their initials are on the last two. He passes her the “I.”

“But what?”

Io crosses her arms behind her chair, bites her lip. The early evening sun illuminates the courtyard, and as it streams through the window little specks of its light catch in her hair. “I don’t know, I always feel nervous trying to make friends.”

Ah.

It’s like he thought. He can tell Aymeric once and for all there’s nothing else going on here. Which is fine, of course. It’s fine. He wants to learn more about her, and let her get to know him too. He doesn’t have a ton, but he thinks he’s a decent friend. He could be a good friend to Io.

“Yeah,” he says, ignoring the heavy, unnameable thing settling in his stomach. “Me too. But it kind of feels like we’re already friends, right? So don’t worry about it too much.”

Io’s smile pokes through her bitten lip as she takes her seat across from him, the sun at her back. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

She is still smiling when everyone joins them, when the session begins, when Miounne asks how she’s feeling today, and when she bids him goodbye with the promise to text him this week. He knows because he can’t help but look at her.

Some things are true no matter how you fight them.

#azia writes #io/estinien #io laithe #estinien varlineau #okay well. i'm throwing this out there #you may ask 'azia why do they not have a cute solo hang prior to the 'we're pals' thing?'#and i think io's initial crush would've simply been unignorable in that instance #and now esti will have some amount of plausible deniability for both their feelings :>#he's able to say 'i told you so' not only to aymeric but himself as well #but the thing is. estinien is RIGHT. this is not a good time or situation for them to even consider dating each other #like he's not great about expressing why but he *knows* why #mentally he's doing okay at this time but io is... not. she does need friends right now. and they are in therapy t o g e t h e r #that'd be so fucked. he's right to kind of distance himself from the idea of it. but then that distance just. continues indefinitely lmao #okay bye. enough director's commentary

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the-busy-ghost · 1 year

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Alright uninformed rant time. It kind of bugs me that, when studying the Middle Ages, specifically in western Europe, it doesn’t seem to be a pre-requisite that you have to take some kind of “Basics of Mediaeval Catholic Doctrine in Everyday Practise” class.

Obviously you can’t cover everything- we don’t necessarily need to understand the ins and outs of obscure theological arguments (just as your average mediaeval churchgoer probably didn’t need to), or the inner workings of the Great Schism(s), nor how apparently simple theological disputes could be influenced by political and social factors, and of course the Official Line From The Vatican has changed over the centuries (which is why I’ve seen even modern Catholics getting mixed up about something that happened eight centuries ago). And naturally there are going to be misconceptions no matter how much you try to clarify things for people, and regional/class/temporal variations on how people’s actual everyday beliefs were influenced by the church’s rules.

But it would help if historians studying the Middle Ages, especially western Christendom, were all given a broadly similar training in a) what the official doctrine was at various points on certain important issues and b) how this might translate to what the average layman believed. Because it feels like you’re supposed to pick that up as you go along and even where there are books on the subject they’re not always entirely reliable either (for example, people citing books about how things worked specifically in England to apply to the whole of Europe) and you can’t ask a book a question if you’re confused about any particular point.

I mean I don’t expect to be spoonfed but somehow I don’t think that I’m supposed to accumulate a half-assed religious education from, say, a 15th century nobleman who was probably more interested in translating chivalric romances and rebelling against the Crown than religion; an angry 16th century Protestant; a 12th century nun from some forgotten valley in the Alps; some footnotes spread out over half a dozen modern political histories of Scotland; and an episode of ‘In Our Time’ from 2009.

But equally if you’re not a specialist in church history or theology, I’m not sure that it’s necessary to probe the murky depths of every minor theological point ever, and once you’ve started where does it end?

Anyway this entirely uninformed rant brought to you by my encounter with a sixteenth century bishop who was supposedly writing a completely orthodox book to re-evangelise his flock and tempt them away from Protestantism, but who described the baptismal rite in a way that sounds decidedly sketchy, if not heretical. And rather than being able to engage with the text properly and get what I needed from it, I was instead left sitting there like:

And frankly I didn’t have the time to go down the rabbit hole that would inevitably open up if I tried to find out

#This is a problem which is magnified in Britain I think as we also have to deal with the Hangover from Protestantism #As seen even in some folk who were raised Catholic but still imbibed certain ideas about the Middle Ages from culturally Protestant schools #And it isn't helped when we're hit with all these popular history tv documentaries #If I have to see one more person whose speciality is writing sensational paperbacks about Henry VIII's court #Being asked to explain for the British public What The Pope Thought I shall scream #Which is not even getting into some of England's super special common law get out clauses #Though having recently listened to some stuff in French I'm beginning to think misconceptions are not limited to Great Britain #Anyway I did take some realy interesting classes at uni on things like marriage and religious orders and so on #But it was definitely patchy and I definitely do not have a good handle on how it all basically hung together #As evidenced by the fact that I've probably made a tonne of mistakes in this post #Books aren't entirely helpful though because you can't ask them questions and sometimes the author is just plain wrong #I mean I will take book recommendations but they are not entirely helpful; and we also haven't all read the same stuff #So one person's idea of what the basics of being baptised involved are going to radically differ from another's based on what they read #Which if you are primarily a political historian interested in the Hundred Years' War doesn't seem important eonugh to quibble over #But it would help if everyone was given some kind of similar introductory training and then they could probe further if needed/wanted #So that one historian's elementary mistake about baptism doesn't affect generations of specialists in the Hundred Years' War #Because they have enough basic knowledge to know that they can just discount that tiny irrelevant bit #This is why seminars are important folks you get to ASK QUESTIONS AND FIGURE OUT BITS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND #And as I say there is a bit of a habit in this country of producing books about say religion in mediaeval England #And then you're expected to work out for yourself which bits you can extrapolate and assume were true outwith England #Or France or Scotland or wherever it may be though the English and the French are particularly bad for assuming #that whatever was true for them was obviously true for everyone else so why should they specify that they're only talking about France #Alright rant over #Beginning to come to the conclusion that nobody knows how Christianity works but would like certain historians to stop pretending they do #Edit: I sort of made up the examples of the historical people who gave me my religious education above #But I'm now enamoured with the idea of who actually did give me my weird ideas about mediaeval Catholicism #Who were my historical godparents so to speak #Do I have an idea of mediaeval religion that was jointly shaped by some professor from the 1970s and a 6th century saint?#Does Cardinal Campeggio know he's responsible for some much later human being's catechism?#Fake examples again but I'm going to be thinking about that today

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pokimoko · 23 days

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Alright, I don't want to be a dick (and that's half the reason why I'm not answering this ask properly and censoring the user's name; I don't want to throw them to the wolves over poor wording), but I just have to say this: if you're going to send in an art request to me, please at least do me the basic decency of being polite about it. I am doing them for free and out of my own spare time, so I am under no obligation to make them if I don't want to.

The way this particular request is written feels like the equivalent of a 'please update' on a fic or like I'm some sort of AI art generator you're putting a prompt into, and it absolutely turns me off wanting to make art for you, which I won't be doing for this one. I'm sorry to be pedantic over phrasing, but I have to set some boundaries when it comes to requests, and this is one of them.

#ask #art requests #personal #vent post #sorry to be rude but this ask just kinda annoyed me with how it was written and i needed to say something #i have fun making the critters but I'm not just here to churn them out for people either #thank you to everyone else who's sent in a request and been very lovely about them #knowing you enjoy my art and will enjoy what i make for you is why i like doing them at all #so yes to anyone else in future: i am but a humble artist who likes a kind word or two to inspire my creation #even if it's a few hearts or just a quick little thank you. i don't mind. so long as it's not written like this #and to the person who did write this: you're new to tumblr so i can understand not being great at asks yet. but please be kind to artists #simple kindness can go a long way #anyway that's all. :)

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crystallizsch · 2 months

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I FORGOT TO SAY IN MY LAST ASK IM SORRY but I think your ocs are very cool 🤸‍♀️ I was scared to send that last one tho omgjskfnsnmd I haven't interected with anything on here at all yet but you were so nice???? I have now gained the courage to Start Doing Things, I thank you kindly 💃💃💃

AAAH YES YES I'M CHEERING FOR YOU JUST

✨✨Start Doing Things ✨✨

whatever you start doing I hope you find joy in it!! 😤✨ It makes me happy to hear that i gave you that little push 😭

ALSO thank you so much I'm so glad you like my little sillies as well 😭💕😭💕

#RAHHH im slow at answering asks #also im obsessed with your use of dancing emojis anon #you seem very fun :0 #and also i relate #why is sending ANON asks scary hgkdjsfksdlj #but i'm so glad that you chose to send it anyway 😭#it truly made my day 💖#anyways psa: do whatever makes you happy 😤💕#when you finally Do The Thing it feels so great #which is admittedly easier said than done bc it's easier to think about it than actually *do* it #it's also not a race always take your time at your own pace #and in the end when you're happy with The Thing it'll be very satisfying :D #[—#✦'-asks #✦'-i-have-thoughts #—]

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ilovedthestars · 1 year

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stars!! re: your tags on the post you rb'd about wizard uni/wizard tech school: may i recommend Year of the Griffin, by Diana Wynne Jones (the woman who forced Tolkien to keep lecturing instead of fucking of to work on his books by continuing to attend his terrible uni lectures) as a book leaning hard into the wizard undergrad lyfe. One of the main protags is a griffin from a loving family of human wizards (this book is loosely the sequel to The Dark Lord of Derkholm, the fantasy pastiche) and the book follows her and the ragtag group of friends she makes at uni as their various unique problems interfere with the process of studying magic and making friends at university. It's been a while since I last read it but it features terrible profs obsessed with going to the moon, a pirate invasion, philosophy of magic debates in the cafeteria, and a really sweet moment in the middle of an action-packed climax where the main protags have to talk out their feelings to fix the big magical life-threatening problem. I highly recommend!

(wish I knew a book that went the wizard trade school route, but alas. if you hear of a book like that please tell!)

tumblr I need a "mark as unread" option for my inbox because the moment the little dot went away I forgot this ask existed. oops. sorry verso I read this and appreciated it and then forgot to reply 😅

(the wizard uni/trade school post)

That book sounds amazing, thank you for the rec!! The post made me really hungry for like, relatable-to-my-current-life uni shenanigans but with magic, and now I'm so curious what Undergrad Life(TM) adventures this book contains and if any of them will resonate. Either way it sounds like it's full of very fun shenanigans. (Now what I really need is a book about wizard art school. Someone should write that.) Anyway, thank you verso, this is going on my tbr immediately :)

#stars answers #book recs #tbr #seriously. wizard art school. I want this to be a thing so bad now #if I'm basing it fully on my own experience then it should be like #a subset of the wizard uni that's equivalent to the art school #all the artificers are busy with magical calculus and the humanities wizards have to write so many papers #meanwhile the art mage's homework is the equivalent of 'paint a value scale'#that or they have multiple monthlong creative projects that they have to design from the ground up going on at once #.......my semester is going great why do you ask #hmmmmm color theory as an element of spellcasting though. that's definitely something.....#tag for tags

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