#no caption just me being a menace to those I love

[drakesfeelings]

I've got annn ideaaaa(your stuff is so good btw, but I just realised I haven't reblogged anything😭)

Anyways. I thought about this. Haaland x Famous!Reader

Famous!Reader where her fans literally don't care about football. Oh, he is a famous footballer? Cool! He literally won a treble? Awesome!(what is a treble?) He finished in top 3 for the ballon d'or? What even is that? His fans and rivals' fans are consantly fighting in the comment section and her fans are just confused about everything. Against what are Machester united? Of course Manchester is a city! Those red guys have an arsenal of what exactly?

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ WHAT’S LUV ?

summary. [your name] and erling’s fans are absolute menaces.

social media version - taking requests here

trigger warning. absolutely nothing

side note. i LOVE this request !!!!!! so sorry that i couldn’t make it longer 😔😔

liked by erling.haaland, icespice and 987 786 others

yourusername kisses to the cameraman 💋

view all the comments…

user BRO SHES SO FINE

user just marry me like

user no she deserves better (me) 😘

user babe stop posting those photos you know im jealous 😔

user insecure ass

user YO WHY MY MAN ERLING IS HERE

user LIKE THATS WHAT IM SAYING

user @ erling.haaland who r u

user u don’t know erling ??????????????

user don’t know don’t care 🧖‍♀️

user can we juste appreciate the mother whose mothering and stop talking about the erling boy in her likes 😡😡😡😡😡

user FR WE DO NOT CARE

taylorswift you’re so gorgeous girl

oliviarodrigo 😍😍😍😍😍

sabrinacarpenter ATE

yourusername stawp bae

user @ user erling is in her likes 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

user mmh…….. thats weird

erling.haaland 📸

liked by the creator

user boy bye

liked by yourusername, judebellingham and 637 978 others

erling.haaland [no caption]

view all the comments…

user erling taking selfies ??????

user pookie stop being pretty

user 🐐

user he’s not an animal like

user gosh

user HUMMMMMMMMMMM

user why r u so loud

user DID Y’ALL SWIPE ?????

judebellingham 👀👀👀👀

liked by the creator

user YOU KNOW SOMETHING

user i know that coat

user and that ring 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐

user BRO ERLING HAS A GIRL ??????

user SEEMS LIKE IT

user it’s just a coat guys 🤨🤨🤨🤨

user yes BUT SOME DAYS AGO HE WAS IN THE LIKES OF @ yourusername

user OMG I LOVE THAT GIRL

user but it still means nothing like ?????

liked by erling.haaland, theweeknd and 875 372 others

yourusername when he texts me gn

view all the comments…

user WHO IS HE

user can’t believe that she just cheated on me in front of everyone

user HUMMM WE NEED TO KNOW LIKE

user WHOS THAT GUY

hayleybieber pretty baby

yourusername stop flirting, pookie’s jealous

liked by erling.haaland

user BRO YOU THINK YOU SMOOTH

user erling is in her likes again 🧐🧐🧐

user that’s suspicious

user that’s weird

user I THINK I RECOGNISE THOSE ARMS

user wait ME TOO

user guys that’s SO erling like look at those white arms

user ‘those white arms’ that’s violation

user we’re losing her to some blonde football guy 😔

user y’all don’t even know who he is ???????

user yeah bc we do not really care babe

user BUT HE WON A TREBLE ? AND FINISHED TOP 3 FOR THE BALLON D’OR ?

user who is treble

user are you kidding me

user pookie if i was i wouldn’t be talking to you

user they’re ignorant AND sassy 😦😦😦

user blank stare

@ yourusername posted a new instagram story !

@ drakesfeelings 👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽

#erling haaland x reader #erling haaland #erling haaland imagine #football #footballer x reader #hot footballers #football fluff #football imagine

[just-jordie-things]

Idk if you’re online right now but if you are is there any comfort brainrot you can give me please

I have had one of the worst days in this entire year and I’m too close to relapsing and collapsing right now. Everything is going down right now

~ Nanami Flowershop Anon

of course my dear i hope that things get steady and peaceful for you soon 🫶 here’s a bunch! i hope you like them

gojo satoru is a prank-y menace, but he leaves you little notes every chance he gets. post its slipped into your bag, something smudged into your frosty windshield, or on your chalkboard. sometimes they’re silly, or a little doodle, but some of them are the most romantic thing you’ve ever read.

fushiguro megumi can take a bit to warm up in a relationship, but he can’t help but kiss your head when you’re near. whether you’re in his arms or standing beside him, he’s compelled to drop a kiss in your hair, or against the crown of your head.

itadori yuuji knows all your favorite treats. snacks, tea, you name it. he’s got them memorized so he can pick up something special for you when he’s done with an assignment, or have a sweet treat ready for you when you’ve had a hard day.

inumaki toge picked up a new rice ball ingredient in his vocabulary, which he only used towards you. cream cheese. at first you thought it was just a silly nickname for you. but overtime you’ll come to learn it’s his special habit of telling you he loves you.

okkotsu yuuta loves sending you those silly adorable reaction images. hello kitty, miffy, and sometimes just little kittens, all with funny captions about missing you or needing cuddles. he’s got buckets of screenshots of them, always ready to send you when he misses you. (which is often)

kamo choso loves doing everything with you. chores? errands? watching that sort of dumb tv show you like? he wants to be there for it. he just adores being in your presence no mather what the setting.

takuma ino keeps up with all the gossip you know. work drama, your friends’ odd antics, you name it. he knows everyone by name and is eager when he asks for follow ups on all of it. he’s a bit gossipy himself, so he finds entertainment in the drama, but he also just loves to hear about everything going on in your life.

#satoru brainrot #megumi brainrot #yuuji brainrot #toge brainrot #yuuta brainrot #ino brainrot #choso brainrot #nanami flowershop anon #jordie says stuff

[berry-messy-scribbles]

Lend me a helping hand

Pairing: Jesse Pinkman x GN!Reader

Summary: You and Jesse Pinkman attend the same class back in high school days. One day both of you become study buddies after Walt decides to pair you up to help him with chemistry. Little does he know that you two won’t pay much attention to textbooks, as a mutual crush begins to unfold.

Words: 3,131

Tags: SFW; gender-neutral reader; general fluff that turns a little angsty in the process but don’t worry it ends on a light note; reader and Jesse are younger due to this being set in his high school times.

Warnings/triggers: curse words; mentions of smoking cigarettes and drug use.

A/N: Reader’s implied favourite subject is chemistry so the plot can include Jesse’s trouble with White’s class and having him assign you as Jesse’s tutor.

“ This is my first piece ever writing Jesse so I apologise in advance if it seems out of character but we can all agree that our boy deserves more loving.” - Mod Berry

Ever since childhood, your eyes were set on an academic pursuit and it certainly didn’t change in your high school years. But the effort wasn’t just for any other subject than your beloved chemistry, which took up so much of your free time. Staying up all night to pass Mr White’s exams with flying colours wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with. All those sticky notes and underlines made with fancy markers in vivid colours present in your textbook were a plain sign, that you struck to be one of the smartest if not the smartest in class. One of your classmates specifically caught your eye – no other than the troublemaker by the name of Jesse Pinkman.

After all, you've been taking the same class for over a year now so you observed all sorts of shenanigans unravel. He’s mostly known as that one kid that always has some snarky comments ready and is an absolute menace to the teacher. At first, it would be making paper planes to throw at Mr White. Gradually it evolved to him drawing caricatures of the old bald man on the whiteboard with captions such as “Sit on an Erlenmeyer flask dick”. The doodle obviously showed in detail a figure of him sitting on the described object. It led to many visits to the principal’s office. Even after all this time you barely have spoken to each other, maybe besides the occasional “Can I borrow a pen” moments.

It seems as no surprise that when this certain student known for not caring about anything really, had you assigned as his study buddy. That is why one day after class Mr White decided to pair you up as study partners.

“Y/N you surely know of Pinkman. The one that barely makes any effort? I told myself if I can’t get through to him with my lectures that maybe someone his age would. I am sure that he could use a positive influence like you.” 

He then murmurs to himself while looking outside the classroom “Maybe then he’ll make something out of himself.”

You never understood why he was so hard on Jesse, sure he wasn’t an easy student but immediately shutting him down as a hopeless case seemed too harsh for you. Either way, you decided to help him.

“Don’t worry sir. I am sure Jesse and I will get along just fine.” 

But fine was the last word you would use to describe this situation, in fact, it was one of those times when you weren’t sure how to react. On one hand, you two barely spoken to each other. On the other hand, you were eager to chat about your favourite subject. But what other thing were you supposed to talk about really? Your only similarities ended in attending the same class and that fact certainly didn’t make it any easier. However the next day you gathered as much confidence as you could when you approached him after class.

‘‘Hi, Jesse. I don’t mean to bother you but -” 

You are then interrupted midsentence by Jesse.

“Uh Hi Y/N right? Look I know what this buzzkill Mr White told you but you don’t need to do all that teaching me crap. ”

“Okay wait wait, don’t be silly now. It’s not a problem for me at all. In fact, I’m glad I can finally ramble to somebody about chemistry, haha and maybe just maybe I’ll be able to change your mind about it” you respond with a smile.

That smile certainly caught Jesse off guard by how pretty it looked on your face. He felt strange? Were you doing this out of pity for him or were you seriously this kind? He wasn’t sure but decided to continue the conversation playfully.

“Pff I’d like to see you try. Anyways Mx teacher when and where are we going to have our first study session?”

“Already with formal titles, I see. Hmm since it’s a nice day outside so would you like to have our first study session in the library? I promise I won’t make it as boring as it sounds.”

“Geez, I don’t know. Do you seriously see me as the kind of guy who regularly goes to libraries? You flatter me Y/N but I hate to break it to you the librarian is probably going to have a heart attack when she sees me.”

“Come on now I don’t think there is a “kind of person” - it is for everyone. Whether you want to admit it or not the library lady will see you just as another plain guy. Or are you scared of being called a nerd huh? you teased him.

“Whatever. So are we going or what?”

That’s how your weekly chemistry study sessions started out. In the beginning, it would be at Albuquerque’s public library, where you two spent time together. It is worth mentioning that the first time you were there the old librarian lady Judith made an embarrassing remark at the time:

“Y/N dearie it is so nice to see you again but who could that young man be? Oh are you two perhaps...”

“Study buddies. We’re study buddies! Yup, nothing more than that haha.” you quickly responded as you didn’t want to make Jesse feel uncomfortable. Hoping that he didn’t catch your face flush bright red for a moment there, you headed to the quiet area with a spare desk and quickly took out your books. 

Those study sessions over time evolved into more casual hangouts such as going to a park, café and so on. Sometimes they would also include obligatory smoke breaks or buying sweet treats for later. There was this one time when you both went out to grab some doughnuts beforehand and Jesse had to get himself the popular pink glazed doughnuts, which resulted in one of your puns:

“Ah, so your last name obliges you to buy them? Huh, Pinkman? Get it?”

“All that time spent buried in the books and it is the only pun you could come up with? Shame on you Y/N shame. To think an egghead like you would get more creative.”

“Oh shut up we’ll see how creative you’re gonna be when we will be solving tasks from the textbooks and workbooks I have.”

Something you began to look forward to during your week was seeing Jesse. He seemed as if he could listen to you for hours and hours. That is why you began to feel comfortable around him - like you could finally be yourself around somebody else. It can be said that he was your best hypeman by saying things such as “Yeah Science bitch!” or “Right on!” even when you explained the most mundane of things. There was this one time when you let yourself go and started ranting about your hobbies such as writing and reading books ( or whatever you like to do in your free time, he’ll be so supportive anyways ) so when you finally realised you were getting distracted you quickly added the following:

“Oh sorry I’m just used to people not caring about my special interests or  straight up finding it annoying.”

“Are you kidding? Fuck them. I’d like to get to know you more, other than the fact that you are a huge nerd. Also, I think you’d make a great teacher or something because hey you’ve managed to make me pay attention."

That response definitely warmed up your heart.

On the surface, both of you seemed like total solar opposites but maybe that’s why you two connected so well. As you often put it in your mind “positively charged objects attract negatively charged objects”. Jesse would probably groan at the thought that you had to compare your friendship to some nerdy topic. During that time, you noticed that there was so much more to Jesse than people thought. For instance, his notebook had pages that were entirely covered in drawings of figures done in a comic book art style, some of which were superheroes while the others were villains. Initially, Jesse was nervous that you found them but then all that doubt disappeared when he was smothered in positive feedback from you. You eagerly asked about their names, superpowers and origin stories and then proceeded to listen to his explanations with joy in your eyes. That alone made Jesse feel so weak around you - you were actually interested in spending time with him and in what he wanted to say ( and by god we all know how much he needs that in his life ).

Up to this point, you didn’t realise that you started to develop feelings towards Jesse, but when he didn’t show up at your usual meeting spot you immediately started to worry. It’s not as if Jesse wouldn’t let you know if something bad happened, because he had felt sick before. The significant difference is that he always called or texted when he couldn’t make it. This time however it was total silence. At first, you tried calling him, then you moved on to texting multiple messages saying “Are you alright? Did something happen?” followed by “I hope everything is okay Jesse text me whenever you can”. You weren’t sure if you were overreacting a bit, but you didn’t care – the most important thing was his well-being. Time passed and it has been a week since your last message and there was no sign of him at school either. Now you were certain that something felt off… Maybe that’s why you decided to take matters into your own hands when you visited the Pinkmans’ residence. You were more than thankful, that you remembered where it was located since Jesse never really invited you over. The only time when you two were near his house he’d quickly brush it off as if he didn’t want to attract your attention to it.  When you arrived and knocked on the door a short blonde woman opened. She was clearly confused by your presence.

“Can I help you with something? I don’t believe we have met before?” 

"Oh hi, you must be Jesse’s mother. My name is Y/N nice to meet you, I am Jesse’s friend.”

It was strange to call him that since you weren’t sure if Jesse considered you his friend, but you certainly considered him to be yours. A small shocked expression appeared on her face, however before she could say anything you continued:

You didn’t quite understand her passive-aggressive response. At the same time, she was glad that you thought about her son but also said something about being an “unusual” friend of his. What did she mean by that? Was she trying to insult you or her own son? You thought that to yourself but decided to shrug it off as there were more important things right now.

“Listen Mrs Pinkman I am so sorry to bother you but Jesse hasn’t been responding to my messages for the past week and he also wasn’t at school so I wanted to make sure that he’s okay.”

“Hmm I have to say you don’t seem like Jesse’s usual kind of “friend”, but it’s nice that you worried about him. Pleasure to meet you too.”

“Listen Jesse has been lately um I am not sure how to put it...” 

The older woman seemed at loss for words. To your surprise at that moment a taller older man came up behind Mrs Pinkman, which you suspected probably was Jesse’s father.

“Is there a problem here dear?” and then Mrs Pinkman had to assure him there was none but also had to explain why you were here in the first place. 

“Oh, you are here for Jesse huh? Well then colour me surprised, to say the least. About our son - you’ll understand what my wife wanted to tell you in a moment. How about I show you his room, then you can go ask him yourself.”

The tension in that conversation caught you off-guard. For some reason, both of them seemed angry inside but they covered it in their nice suburban behaviour.  Before you could even properly react to that exchange of words they both walked into their house, gesturing you to follow them. 

They stopped at the door, which you could only assume belonged to Jesse’s room. His father then proceeded to knock on the door while saying “Jesse you have a visitor.” and then both left you alone in awkward silence while standing outside his room.

A couple of minutes passed and then you heard a loud thud and steps of someone approaching the door. Then the door swung right open followed by:

“Uh. I didn’t want you to see me like this Y/N.” Jesse sighed.

The room looked as if a tornado came through - all his belongings scattered on the bedroom floor. From his usual baggy clothes, beanies and a used bong to boxes of frozen pizza with few slices left untouched. The air in the room was heavy and the atmosphere was even heavier when you noticed Jesse nervously looking at you in the doorframe.

You have never seen Jesse in that state before. His usual entrancing blue eyes were all red. Not only that but it appeared that even weighty eyebags began to show on his face. Jesse anxiously held his arm around you. He was so afraid that sooner or later you would witness him like this. He expected the worst to come from your mouth and was preparing himself for the harsh reality of that situation to unfold, but then he heard a quiet sob coming from you.

“I was so worried that something bad happened to you. I am so glad that you are okay you asshole!” you immediately hugged Jesse.

“But um Jesse what happened? Is there something that worried you so much, which lead to this state?” you gestured at the room and him.

Jesse was knocked-out at that moment. Out of all the reactions he suspected he would get from you a warm embrace wasn’t on that list.

“Next time check your goddamn phone you hear me? A simple “I am alive” would be great you know?” you quickly added as you let go of that hug.

“I don’t want to come off as nosy or anything but just so you know you can always talk to me. I’ll make sure to be of help to you.” you added.

Jesse was absolutely stunned at that moment. Nobody ever cared about him that much and you didn’t even judge him? You didn’t think of him less after witnessing him at his worst? After all of that, you still wanted to know what was wrong? What exactly was happening? He finally responded:

“Heh I don’t know what to say Y/N. Look for the past few days I haven’t been feeling very well. You probably met my parents - we don’t exactly get along.” before he could finish that sentence he made sure to close the door so they wouldn’t hear what he says.

“So about a week ago they found my secret stash and went fucking crazy. It wasn’t only about that oh no no no. Mrs and Mr Perfect had to bring up my shitty grades and how I will never amount to anything. Parents of the year huh? After that, the only thing I knew would make me feel good is smoke some weed and spend time alone. My buddies suggested meeting up but I wasn't feeling like it. I just felt like a burden to everyone I have ever met."

"God and the fact that this dickhead White told my parents I was a lost cause was just a cherry on top of that shitshow." he added with frustration building inside him.

Seeing Jesse in that vulnerable position made you even more motivated to comfort him. You carefully started:

"First of all you are certainly not a burden, how could you even think that for a moment? Look even if your parents are acting like assholes towards you they don't define your worth. "

"I am so sorry that your parents and White told you those awful words but if you asked me I think you are pretty great. Sure you aren't the best at certain things but you are getting better each and every single day. If it makes any real difference to you I'm rooting for you, Jesse."

"And hey just a friendly suggestion when you do succeed you can rub it in their face you know? That certainly is something to look forward to right?"

That made Jesse chuckle a bit.

"Thanks, Y/N. I am very glad that you came here."

"No problem at all. Say do you need any help with cleaning your room? And before you say you don't want to make me do your chores I don't mind and also I insist."

Even if he said no you would help him so after that you and Jesse got up to start cleaning his room and of course had some more heart-to-heart conversations while doing so. It brought you two closer than ever and you both realized that your feelings were more than friendship.

Since that day some time passed and your first study sessions came faster than expected. Jesse was so happy that he could finally spend more time with you and so were you. You took your usual path to the library and sat in an empty desk. This time you decided to start with organic chemistry, in particular, a topic revolving around saccharides. Before you could explain anything Jesse asked you:

"So today we are doing what? Saccharides? What a mouthful. Why do eggheads always come up with the most idiotic names instead of calling it oh I don't know... something anyone can say outloud?"

"Pff you can always just call them sugars you know. It is still a correct nomenclature so feel free to use that one."

"Yeah but I would rather call you sugar." he responded without a second thought.

"Wait what did you say?" you felt blood rush to your face.

Silence fell between you two. Expression or sheer shock on both of your faces. Jesse couldn't believe he said that out loud. The silence was then broken by him coughing and finally adding:

"Y/N I didn't mean to make any of this awkward I just... I just think that you are sweet."

"Well if that makes any difference I think you are cute too Pinkman." you responded and softly placed a kiss on his lips.

Truth be told that day you didn't do any of the material you had planned in advance. The only chemistry that was on your mind was between you and Jesse.

#breaking bad x reader #jesse pinkman x reader #jesse pinkman fanfiction #jesse pinkman fanfic #breaking bad fanfiction #breaking bad fanfic

[marsmarvel02]

Update on “Junkyard Jamboree”

So, I finally managed to find the exact right combination of search terms that would get me the information I was looking for without clogging up the results with the ride that inherited Junkyard Jamboree’s name, Mater’s Junkyard Jamboree. And I must say that what I found is very intriguing!

Quick refresher for people who’ve already managed to forget: When Disney’s California Adventure park was in development, an area called “Carland” was planned to be included. “Carland” was focused on the car culture California developed in the ‘60s, but before it could be finished the Imagineers responsible learned about Pixar’s Cars movie, and the land was quickly rethemed to “Cars Land”. One of the attractions in the original “Carland“ was the “Junkyard Jamboree“, a dark ride where cars and car parts in a junkyard came to life and made music. The concept reminded me of the song “Worthless“ from The Brave Little Toaster, so much so that I just had to find out what Junkyard Jamboree was originally like. Unfortunately, my research efforts were stymied by the fact that the name “Junkyard Jamboree“ was recycled for the attraction known as “Mater’s Junkyard Jamboree“, which has almost nothing in common with the original Jamboree besides (ostensibly, in Mater’s case) being set in a junkyard and featuring music.

But, late last night, I was finally able to find information on the original Junkyard Jamboree, and I must say the information is just so interesting.

The first thing I found was this piece of concept art, accompanied by the caption “Originally conceived as a dark ride, Junkyard Jamboree at Carland would have taken visitors through an auto salvage yard where old junkers came to life after dark and played music”

The caption really doesn’t do much more than confirm what I already know, but I must say that concept art looks amazing. I love the vaguely menacing aura the junk figures give off.

Next, I found this little bit of description:

Okay, so not quite the “Grim Grinning Ghosts meets Worthless” aesthetic I was originally expecting, but dang if that doesn’t sound cool! (I guess that would put Johnny and his band in the same general area as the U-Tensils from Food Rocks, both being bands made out of animated metal implements that have some kind of vague menace about them despite neither being supposed to be scary.)

And then, I finally found what I thought to be the primary source for all of this: A memoir written by an Imagineer. Specifically, Magic Journeys: My Fantastical Walt Disney Imagineering Career by Kevin Rafferty.  In the chapter on Car-/Cars Land, there’s a collection of concept art for Carland attractions, including Junkyard Jamboree. And this one has a caption that’s much more interesting:

There are two things specifically of note here: It appears that the band was supposed to be named “Johnny Revtone and the V8s”, not “Johnny V8 and the Revtones”; the site that I got the earlier screenshot from must have accidentally transposed part of the name. In addition, the mention of “the midnight hour” draws on a classic trope dating to the cartoons of the ‘30s and even further beyond that: Inanimate objects coming to life at the stroke of midnight to either throw a ball or just get into mischief. This attraction would’ve taken the “throw a ball” aspect, and modernized- well, 60s-ized- it into a rock n’ roll concert.

From that same book is another small piece of information, involving Junkyard Jamboree’s planned location. (Hey, that rhymes!)

This isn’t really all that mind-blowing, but it’s mentioned that Junkyard Jamboree was “large-scale”, which means there were more scenes than just Johnny Revtone’s band playing. I wonder what on earth those could’ve been...

Now, that should be everything, but in this search I uncovered one more mystery:

This is the same piece of concept art we’ve seen already, but watermarked with “Disneygeek dot com” (which is just the website this picture is from) and “D23 Expo - 08.21.11”. Why is the D23 Expo mentioned? Was this brought up there? Is it just a misattribution? Are those numbers next to it a date? 

(Oh, and I must say that image really gives you a good look at how well-drawn and detailed the cars are.)

#disney #disney theme park #theme park #disney amusement park #amusement park #disneyland #disney california adventure #disney's california adventure #cars #disney cars #cars disney #pixar #pixar cars #cars pixar #cars land #carland #junkyard jamboree #mater's junkyard jamboree #kevin rafferty #magical journeys: my fantastical walt disney imagineering career #magical journeys #d23 expo #d23

[yesthatssadirichardslove]

Jada Pinkett Smith says revealing separation from Will Smith is a 'weight off my shoulders'

NEW YORK

Jada Pinkett Smith is feeling free these days. She’s no longer hiding that she's been separated from megastar husband Will Smith for seven years.

“It’s a weight off my shoulders, honestly,” said Pinkett Smith whose new memoir, “Worthy,” is out now. “Ever since the Oscars, it’s so interesting how such an intense event can bring you closer together, and I would say that after that, we really dove in and dug in and got to this beautiful place we are now.”

The actor, who first revealed the bombshell news to NBC’s Hoda Kotb last week, details her much-gossiped about marriage throughout the biography. Through the years, the couple has faced rumors — of having an open marriage, a swinging lifestyle and questions about their sexual orientations — all while wearing smiles, seemingly portraying a picture-perfect life.

The daytime Emmy award winner briefly thought about scrapping the project; she started writing the 400-plus page book, co-written with Mim Eichler Rivas, at the top of 2022. But after Will infamously slapped Chris Rock in real time during the Oscars over a joke about her shaved head, Pinkett Smith wondered if writing a book was the right choice.

“The only time I reconsidered possibly was after the Oscars…because I was like I can’t write a book and not talk about this piece,” she told The Associated Press, admitting that she felt like the scapegoat for Will’s actions. “It took me a while to figure that out.”

While the Smiths’ marriage dynamic may still be confusing to some — they’re technically still married but have lived separate lives for years with divorce not an option — the “Collateral” actress says they’re working toward resolution.

“We love each other…we are figuring out right now as we speak, what that looks like for us. But there’s no being separated. There’s no, ‘we’re going to get divorced,’” she said. “I’m not giving up on that dude. And he’s not giving up on me… So, let’s just stop and let’s get to this deep healing and figure this out.”

With talent and serendipitous timing, the Baltimore native headed to Hollywood in the early ’90s during a peak period where the industry was welcoming in young, Black actors and creatives. She eventually landed a role on “A Different World,” the “The Cosby Show”-spinoff which inspired a generation of young African Americans to pursue college educations, particularly at historically Black colleges and universities. She went on to star in films like “Menace II Society,” “Jason’s Lyric,” “Set It Off,” “The Nutty Professor” and in “The Matrix” franchise.

Pinkett Smith says while her husband had aspirations to become a global, superstar actor, she didn’t share those same dreams which caused friction. While she considered how revealing intimate details to the world would further affect their family, it’s her story to tell — “before Jada Pinkett Smith, there was Jada Pinkett,” she notes.

“Will completely understood that this was my point of view and that I had a right to talk about my point of view,” Pinkett Smith said of her husband, who posted an Instagram video with the cheeky caption “notifications off” on Sunday in reaction to the media frenzy the book has stirred. “We’re even talking about writing a book called ‘Don’t Try This at Home”… just talking step-by-step of where were our pitfalls and how we got through everything we’ve gotten through.”

In the Dey Street-HarperCollins book, Pinkett Smith intimately chronicles everything from childhood lessons learned while in her grandmother’s garden, navigating being the child of drug addicts, along with tales of dealing drugs as a teen and the consequences that followed. In another revelation, she describes contemplating taking her own life while crushed by depression during a midlife crisis after turning 40.

But the book also sheds light on her path to Hollywood, creative endeavors and her journey through motherhood with her two children with Will, Jaden and Willow, and her “bonus” child Trey from Will’s first marriage. She details the unconventional freedoms she’s allowed the children to have that have drawn criticism at times. There are writing prompts in the memoir, encouraging readers to reflect on their own lives.

“It’s a bit of a ‘Red Table Talk’ guidance page,” she said with a huge laugh. “I just wanted to give little breadcrumbs along the way, a bit of oxygen along the way, of like, I’m not just going to tell you that I got from point A to point B. But I just want to give you just a little bit of the method in which what got me there.”

“Red Table Talk” was the popular talk show broadcast on Facebook Live co-hosted by her, her mother Adrienne Banfield-Norris and Willow. On the show, they discussed intimate topics with guests and among themselves. In one of the most noted episodes, Jada and Will discussed what she called an “entanglement” after R&B singer August Alsina revealed the relationship, causing the public to believe she had had an affair. Pictures of Will’s tired eyes and scruffy beard from that episode are frequently memed.

In the autobiography, Pinkett Smith also discusses her friendship with rap icon, actor and activist Tupac Shakur. She says there was a deep love between the two but maintain they never had a romantic feelings toward each other. They met in high school at Baltimore School for the Arts, and they both would grow up to navigate Hollywood and the trappings of fame. Shakur was killed in 1996.

Last month, Las Vegas authorities arrested Duane “Keffe D” Davis, the last living suspect in the drive-by shooting. Davis has been charged with murder.

“I’m glad that the arrest was made (of) this person we always knew was in the car with the person who shot ’Pac. And I’m hoping we get more information,” said Pinkett Smith. “I want to know who called the hit.”

The 52-year-old says she doesn’t suffer from depression or suicidal thoughts anymore, and she credits the controversial, plant-based psychedelic ayahuasca for her healing. Pinkett Smith says she’s learned to keep a positive mindset, supported by a daily routine that includes mediation, prayer, scripture readings from various religions and yoga.

Pinkett Smith has launched a 13-city “Our Worthy Journey” book tour with stops that include London, Abu Dhabi and Dubai. While not everything in her life is perfect, she feels worthy these days.

“(I’m) feeling so comfortable in my skin. I know who I am. And I know who I am in regards to my relationship to Divine Source,” she said, pointing to the sky before holding her heart. “I know that I have everything that I need right here and that anything else that anybody else wants to offer me is a gift — is a gift! And I’m deeply grateful.”

#yesthatssadirichardslove

[punkpresentmic]

#no caption just me being a menace to those I love #isaythings #yamada hizashi #also the op’s tone is /lh dw lol

[miekasa]

AOT characters x their partner on social media is something I love thinking about omg. Eren is the number 1 menace, I swear, he likes keeping an aesthetic and he wants your face on his profile, and he wants to be in yours, and he will brainstorm for cool captions for you both 😭 Jean acts all shy, but that tall mf also lowkey feels the same way as Eren 😭. Mikasa is very relaxed and cute about it, she’s so effortless when it comes posting you on her feed, same with Sasha probably. Connie would post your funny faces 100% while Armin….blonde coconut I feel would be shy at first but is a fan of couple-y posts. Same with Erwin, and Erwin would add the cheesiest suburban dad captions like “my better half” or shit like “forever yours” 😭🥴😭 Hange is just all over, like they’ll be super unpredictable, from wildly funny to very touching stuff. Pick is just sweetness!! All around sweetness that can make you melt. Porco would be…actually I’m not sure, he seems like he’s in line with Eren and Jean 😭 Meanwhile, Levi would not care at all about social media announcements and “instagram official” and people outside his close circles find out about his partner on their tenth-year anniversary because they bumped into you both while you were out on a date 😭😭

No because you hit the nail on the head here anon!!

Eren and Connie are fiends and almost shameless in how much they want to be on your socials. If you do the thing where you record your food when you’re out to eat with Eren, he’ll interject into your video—“And me! She’s with me!! Show me!!” After some time—or if you tease him by purposefully leaving him out of the frame—he’ll just snatch your phone when you’re recording or taking pictures and makes sure to get himself with the front camera 😭😭 oh and you will be on his, it comes with the price of dating him, he loves posting videos that gradually zoom in on your face before you notice he’s recording.

Connie just photobombs everything. Even if just his eyebrows make in the frame, you better post it. He’s watching you. He loves taking funny selfies and posting them with absolutely no context, and videos too!! He reminds me of that TikTok of the guy who pans the camera to his gf laying in the grass is like, “We had a beach date, and, yeah I love her,” and pans the camera to his face, “I’m faster than her tho. We raced. But yeah, love her.”

Jean pretends like he doesn’t care if you don’t post him, but he cares 😭😭 he’s always willing to take a photo for you, but he wants to take them with you too!! He’ll not so subtly be like, “Hey, did you post those pics from the other day?” as a gentle “reminder,” and he’s honestly so cute you gotta give into him. He likes posting pics with you too, and claims he’s gotta keep it updated so he’s got something to show his mom—“She’ll think I’m making you up if I don’t have proof, babe.”

Armin gets nervous about posting you at first—the whole being publicly affectionate thing, plus the internet is forever, you know. But once he sees that he doesn’t necessarily have to post you guys holding hands or kissing all the time, he relaxes. Just a picture together, or a picture of you from one of your dates every once in a while is cool with him. He takes good candids and they’re his favorite to edit and make all pretty. He gets surprised whenever you post him, and he’s honestly not checking for it/on social media all that often, so he finds out through a friend like Sasha who’s bubbling, “Armin you guys are gonna make me jealous!! Your beach dates look so cute!!” And Armin’s a little confused, until she adds, “I saw the pictures on Insta!!” And now he’s slightly pink in the face.

Porco is… more likely than not recording you innocently vibing or minding your own business before he comes to bother you bye. He thinks your surprised face is so fucking funny and needs several video evidences of it. He gets grumpy when you get an off-guard of him, but just show it to him after and suddenly he’s like, “I look pretty good there, actually,” like yeah, dumbass, that was the point 🙄🙄 he posts his shit on Twitter tho, and is always acting like he doesn’t know you—“Girlfriend for sale, willing to trade for Breath of the Wild. At least $30 cash otherwise,” and thinks it’s funny when you threaten to block him. Or he’s subtweeting you when you CLEARLY follow him: “Anybody else know someone who falls asleep 30 mins into a drive?? No?? Just me??”

Erwin and his captions anon please I’m hollering. You know he uses the filters embedded into Instagram, too, and it makes some pics come out grainy/more dull. He comes questioning Hange with genuine curiosity, “How come your photos look so… bright? How do I do that?” Sir, open up VSCO and free yourself from the shackles of Sepia.

Levi could not care less about what and how much you post of him on social media, and his own is so scarcely updated; he really just has it so he’s not a complete ghost to the world, and to occasionally cure a fit of boredom. The pictures he posts are always nice tho, simple, cleanly edited and shot, and sometimes he’s not even in them. He doesn’t mind if you post him or not, but every once in a while he’ll stop by with a simple heart emoji in the comments. (To which Hange absolutely loses their shit every time and loves to joke about, “omgggggg are you and @leviackerman official???? 🤪🤪🤪)

Hange is the undisputed champion of photodumps and you cannot prove me wrong. Above all, they love posting a series of chaotic photos that tell a story—three slides dedicated to photos that caught you falling down; several photos back to back of you stuffing your face with food; frames of the both of you posing for a photo with the front timer but of course something made them topple over you. Their captions don’t help either, almost always unrelated from the disaster that just unfolded. Could have posted a photo dump of you two skipping (and falling) at the park and the caption is like “fun fact: a cockroach can survive up to five weeks with its head cut off!!” (The disconnect between the pics and captions always confuses Erwin. @e.smith: Very cool! But, what do roaches have to do with you guys looking like you broke your ankles? PS—is everybody okay?)

Mikasa is relaxed about posting you, and she lowkey really likes to be posted on your socials. She doesn’t say much about it, but she likes going back through your profile and looking and what you posted, and the comments from your guys’ friends being supportive. The pictures don’t necessarily spell out that you guys are Together, but that’s okay with her; she doesn’t need four pics of you guys kissing on her timeline to make her happy. She has lots of pictures she doesn’t post tho and you’d be shocked to find them, you gotta hype her up a bit to post them, “Mika you look hot here!!! The people need to see!!! Feed them!!!”

It comes naturally to Sasha, too. She likes documenting your dates with pictures and videos and has a blast editing them afterwards, too. Just AirDrop her the pictures you took and she’ll fix them up for both of you to post later. She’s a fan of silly matching captions and is always in your comments with a million emojis.

Pieck absolutely the sweetest girl. Her whole feed manages to naturally come out in soft filters and pastel colors. She always tells you she doesn’t have to edit a thing when you’re in the picture. Definitely posts photo dumps that include pics of food, sunrises, her cats, and a few off-guards of you thrown in there. Abuses the bugs and sparkly emojis in the captions.

Annie literally posts one pic a few months (by a few months, I mean like 11 months) into your relationship with the simple and upfront caption: “This is my girlfriend” and everyone is in the comments immediately bye. Berty is acting super surprised even tho he basically set you guys up, somehow Reiner genuinely didn’t know, and Sasha is clowning him for not catching on, and then he’s like “wait since when????? i thought they were just really good friends????” Mikasa comments a singular scissor emoji and it sends everyone into orbit, even Annie likes the comment.

#anonymous #annie and mikasa having this weird friendly but teasing but blunt dynamic on social media is the reason i’m still here #every once in a while annie comments on mikasa photos wirh something obvious like ‘your hair is getting longer.’ #and mika is like ‘yeah i know i’m growing it myself thanks annie’ #they’re so fucking funny bye #aot x reader #minicanons

[the-iceni-bitch]

Here Comes the Hammer

Pairing: Thor x fem!Reader

Words: 2709

Summary: The team’s teasing leads to you and your Asgardian boyfriend trying an adventurous new position.

Warnings: Explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, oral sex (F receiving), unprotected vaginal sex in a position that could potentially cause injury if attempted without proper prep), fluffy Thor, SMUT, 18+ ONLY!!!!!

A/N: This is for @imanuglywombat‘s “Is that even a sex position?” weekly challenge, this week being “Thor’s Hammer”, so I figured our favorite Asgardian puppy would be perfect for this! Sort of a continuation of my previous Thor fic, but could def be considered a one shot. 

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!

You had been working in the lab with Bruce for 3 hours now, making final tweaks to a formula that had been nagging at you for weeks. You were about to run another test when both of your phones went off, indicating someone had put out something in the group chat.

“Anything important?” You asked as Bruce moved to check his phone, since he was closer, continuing to scribble notes on your clipboard.

“Not sure, it looks like Nat sent us a video.” He opened the message and suddenly turned beet red, slamming his phone face down on the table immediately. “No, not important.”

“Shit, what’s wrong?” You asked, worried at his sudden change in demeanor when you heard another ding from your devices.

“Y’know, I think I’m gonna take a break.” He said, his voice cracking as he tugged at his collar. He avoided making eye contact with you as he shuffled out of the lab.

“What? Banner! We’re about to run the final test!” You yelled after him as he scurried away. “Alright what the fuck is going on.” You grumbled as you moved to pick up your phone, hissing between your teeth as you opened the attachment. “Son of a bitch, Romanoff!!” You bellowed as you tore out of the lab.

You stormed through the compound, fully prepared to beat the shit out of your friend once you found her. Sam and Steve saw you first and quickly moved out of your way, Sam trying to suppress his laughter while Steve avoided eye contact with you, a flush creeping over his neck as he spluttered. You just flipped the two of them off as you strode past them, sending Sam into hysterics.

“Hey there, Y/N. Did you happen to see that video Nat sent out earlier?” Tony asked you innocently as you thundered into the commissary, seething.

“Where the fuck is she, Tony? I’m going to murder her.” You growled at him, your unsuccessful search making you even more angry.

“She and Clint headed out on an op this morning, why is something wrong?” He was giving you that stupid shit-eating grin that you just wanted to slap off his smug face.

“Good morning, Stark! Y/N, my love, I was so distressed when I woke to find you missing from our bed!” Thor bent down to give you a deep kiss, his tongue tracing the outline of your lips before pressing between and tangling with yours. You had to put a hand on his chest and push him away after a minute so you could catch your breath, your brain needing a second to reset. “Also, I ran into Banner, he seemed rather upset when I tried to speak to him, and I’ve noticed people acting strangely whenever I approach them.”  Maria walked into the kitchen then but immediately turned around and left when she saw you, giggling. “See? Just like that.”

You rolled your head to glare at Tony, whose grin had now spread so wide it was bordering on Cheshire cat territory. He put up his hands and started backing away as you narrowed your eyes and growled at him. “I’ll let you two talk.”

“Has something happened?” Thor was looking at you with concern as he cupped your cheek, bringing your face around so he could gaze into your eyes.

You felt yourself relax as you looked back at him. He was so considerate and sweet and when he looked at you like this you could just melt. Damn him.

“Thor, sweetie.” You searched for the words to explain exactly what had set you off and made every interaction the two of you were going to have with the team in the future extremely awkward. “Hmm, y’know how different sex positions have names, and how some of them could probably be considered funny?”

“Yes, you Midgardians are wonderfully inventive. I do admire your wit.” He grinned at you.

“Right, well… shit. Fuck it, I’m just going to show you.” You pulled your phone out of your coat pocket and opened the group chat with a sigh. Curse the man for not being able to figure out smart phones. There were significantly more responses to the video now, mostly laughing faces and reaction GIFs. God, you hated your friends sometimes.

This you, Y/N? Natasha had provided as a caption.

Thor watched the video with intense interest as it played, eyes glued to the screen. It opened with the words “Thor’s Hammer” scrolling across the screen before opening to a woman bent almost in half on a couch as her partner towered over her, fucking her brutally as she screamed in pleasure.

“She seemed to enjoy herself.” He said as the video ended, brows furrowed as he considered things. “Natasha’s joke is that you’re the woman in the video? Because the sex position is called ‘Thor’s Hammer’, and you’re sleeping with me, and I’m Thor?”

You let out a sigh of relief and nodded. Sometimes you had to explain these types of jokes to him and a certain amount of humor was lost in translation. You poured the two of you some tea and handed him his before leaning back on the counter and taking a deep breath.

“And you’re angry because Natasha made a sex joke at your expense?”

“Kind of.” You frowned as you considered what exactly had set you off about the video. “I guess it was more the surprise of it. And the fact that she sent it to all of our friends, some of whom have very old-fashioned ideas about this sort of thing.” You said, considering poor Steve.

“Ah, yes, the Captain.” He said with a wry smirk before gulping down the rest of his tea and putting the mug in the dishwasher. “I think I know how to get back at her.” He said as he lifted your phone again, starting to type something.

“No, honey, what’re you doing?” You reached for your phone, but he danced away from you, chuckling as he kept the device just out of your reach. “Thor.”

“Gods, how can you type anything with this tiny little keyboard?” He complained as he continued playing his game of keep away. He was now typing one handed as lifted the phone over his head, doing his best to hold you back with his other arm. He’d underestimated your persistence though as you climbed on the counter and pounced on his back.

“Aha, sent!” He beamed at you over his shoulder as you tried to shimmy up him like a tree, your legs wrapped around his waist as you reached for your device.

“What did you do?” You hissed as he dropped the phone into your hand. “Thanks for the inspiration, Natasha. Thor. Oh my god!” You groaned, tucking your head into his shoulder. “That took you so long to type!”

“Those buttons are too small!” He chuckled, wrapping his arms behind him to bring you around to his front and pressing his lips to your hair.

Your phone was buzzing in your hand repeatedly in your hand. You took a look at the screen and cursed, damning whoever had told Tony Stark about reaction GIFs. The man was a menace.

Poor Steve wandered into the commissary to see you wound around your Asgardian boyfriend, slightly disheveled after your attempt to get your phone back.

“Oh my god.” He spluttered before backing out of the kitchen, all the blood draining from his face as he avoided making eye contact with you. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, Steve!” You called after him, untangling yourself from Thor as he let out a deep laugh. You tried to catch up to him but when you poked your head out the doorframe, all you got at was him jogging away down the corridor. “That poor prude.” You said, shaking your head as you turned back to Thor, yelping to find him right behind you.

“You ready to try it out, love?” He asked, gazing down at your through lust blown pupils as he pressed you against the doorframe.

“Fuck.” You whined as he buried his face in your neck, brushing his teeth over your jugular before sucking at the hollow behind your ear, and your felt a rush of arousal flood your panties. “Thor, we need to go back to the room.”

“Why? It’s not like we’ve never done it in the commissary before.” He mumbled against your skin, his lips leaving a trail of electricity that you were pretty sure he did on purpose.

“Not at 11 AM!” You gasped as his fingers dug into your hips and pressed you into him, grinding his growing erection against your hip.

“I think maybe you’re the prude.” He teased before lifting you effortlessly and flinging you over his shoulder with a squeal, silencing you with a slap on the ass as he started carrying you back to your room, grinning at each person he passed as you laughed breathlessly.

You groaned as you passed Sam and Rhodes chatting in the hall, the two of them giving you lecherous grins and catcalls as Thor strode past determinedly. Maria gave you a double thumbs up when she saw the two of you, and you returned it with a grin.

You finally reached your apartment and he kicked the door open with a slam, making you jump. He dropped you on the couch and gave you a quick peck on the lips before going to close the door, and you worked on stripping off your clothes. When he turned back to you, you were in only your bra and panties, and he growled as he stalked towards you.

He ripped off his shirt before pouncing on you, burying his face between your breasts as his arms wrapped around you, pressing you to him as he sucked soft bruises against your skin, making you whine. His fingers moved to the clasps of your bra, undoing it quickly and sliding it down your shoulders before tossing it aside. You ran your fingers through his hair as he laved his tongue over one of your nipples, drawing it to a sensitive peak as he palmed your other breast. He moved to do the same with your other bud at the same time he dipped his fingers into your panties, humming against you as his fingers brushed over your slick coated folds.

“Fuck.” You groaned as he slipped a finger inside you, your hands tugging painfully at his hair as he curled it against that sweet spot and you clenched around him.

“I want you ready for me love.” He murmured as he brought his face back up to yours, pressing his lips to yours softly before slipping his tongue into your mouth and curling it against your own. You felt his grin as you whined when he slid a second finger inside you, scissoring them as he stretched your canal and you arched yourself into his hand. He gave you one more quick peck on the lips before leaving a trail of soft kisses down your torso, coming to rest between your thighs and slipping off your panties.

He ran his tongue over your folds as his fingers curled inside you, making you squirm as he kept bypassing your clit, his breath teasing it without ever making content.

“Damnit, Thor!” You cursed him as he brushed his tongue past your tiny bundle of nerves again. It was throbbing with need as he fucked you with his fingers. “Quit being a fucking tease!”

His chest rumbled as he gave a low chuckle, then his lips wrapped around your clit and you saw stars. Your thighs clenched around his head and every muscle in your back seized, arching you off the couch violently as you came against his face. You were white-knuckling the cushions as you rode it out, your muscles vibrating with pleasure as you came down slowly.

Thor stood up once you relaxed your thighs, beaming down at you as he slipped out of his jeans and boxer briefs. You were looking a bit fucked out, but the grin you gave him let him know you were still up for more.

“You ready for the hammer?” He asked you with a lecherous wink.

You giggled hysterically as he yanked you down the couch, hooking his hands under your knees as he climbed above you, one foot resting on the armrest and the other stretched over your torso and slotted under your neck as you brought your knees up to rest against your cheek.

“Thank god I took up yoga huh?” You joked as you schooled your breathing.

He gave you a grin as he slid into you easily, letting out a deep groan as you drew him into you, your cunt clenching and fluttering around him as he slowly sheathed himself in you.

“Fuck.” He hissed, making you whine. Thor almost never cursed and when he did, it did things to you. “You still alright, beautiful?”

“I’m great. Oh my god!” He was fully seated in you now, and his massive cock was hitting you in a spot that was previously undiscovered, lighting you up from the inside. “Jesus, fuck, right there!”

He slipped out of you a bit before slamming home again and you almost blacked out, it felt so good. He began thrusting in earnest and you were having trouble thinking as he dragged himself over that spot with each plunge.

All you could focus on was the feel of him moving inside you, each thrust bringing you closer to what you were sure was going to be the most intense orgasm you had ever had. Your breath was coming in shallow gasps, and you were worried about passing out.

“Gods, you feel amazing.” He whispered as you squeezed your thighs together, tightening yourself around his cock even more. Your pussy was absolutely soaked, a series of lewd squelches filling the room as he thrust into you over and over. You wrapped your hand around his calf, seeking an anchor as he pounded you into the cushions, making it difficult to catch your breath. “You close, love?”

All you could do was whimper as your cunt clamped down on him, your release squirting out of you as you came harder than you ever had. You felt him throbbing inside of you when he let out a moan and suddenly you were flooded with warmth as he shot his cum into you, continuing his thrusts and shoving his seed deep inside you.

Thor pulled out of you gingerly once he was finished, watching you closely for any signs of injury. You just laid there as you came down, your knees on either side of your face which looked exceptionally fucked out, your mouth in a sloppy grin as he looked at you.

“Can you move, sweetheart?” He asked as he moved around the sofa, seriously concerned he might have broken something in you.

“Just a sec.” You groaned before working to unfold yourself, your muscles stiff from being bent in that unnatural position for so long. “Fuck me.”

He knelt next to and pressed his lips to yours, one hand cradling your head as he scooped the other under your knees and picked you up easily, starting to carry you to the bathroom.

“Let’s run a bath for you, love.” He murmured as you tucked your face into his neck blissed out. “Give those muscles a break.”

“Jesus, honey, you’re spoiling me.” You whispered, rolling your eyes at how fucking sweet he was.

“Good.” He murmured against your hair. “I like spoiling you.”

You groaned at that, and he gave you a wink.

The two of you made your way down to the commissary for game night three hours later. You had never felt more relaxed, though your legs were still a bit jelly-like. Nat saw you first and gave a wolf-whistle, quickly joined by the rest of the team, giving you a chorus of jeers and catcalls.

“Hey Friday,” Tony called, “play ‘Here Comes the Hammer.’”

Thor let out a roar of laughter and you just rolled your eyes as the two of you sat down, curling around each other as you prepared for a cutthroat game of mafia.

Tags!!

@slothspaghettiwrites @captain-asguard @starlightcrystalline @bonkywobble @chubbybuckydumpling @StanAllStarks @blackestpinkworld @wandering-spiritash @shutupstevie  @drabblewithfrannybarnes @stargazingfangirl18 @jack-skellingtons-stuff @chrissquares @imanuglywombat

#uglywombatsexpositionchallenge #natalie writes #fanfic #fanfiction #thor x you #thor x reader #thor odinson #thor imagine #thor smut #thor odinson x reader #thor odinson x you #thor odinson x y/n #thor odinson fanfiction #thor odinson smut #chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth smut #marvel fanfiction #marvel #smut #eighteen plus #18+

[idontblushsrry]

Uhh may I make a request for Ouran High School Host club? Just a headcanon for how the host would react to meeting someone how is a big time animal lover. (Like they pretty much live there life like the Irwin family)

A/N: I was thinking about how I’d write this and my brain just went ‘they lost their shit at the sight of instant coffee’, so uhh I hope this is to your liking. I tried to get as much animal variety as I could even though I didn’t really touch on marine animals that much)

Warnings: Like 2 swear words (pinky promise), slight drug mention(literally so small you might not even notice it), spoilers (minor) for Tamaki’s mom

Word Count: 1292

General

So this is under the assumption that like the Irwin family, Reader (or their family) has access to a wide variety of animals (from domestic to wild)

All of them respect the passion you have for animals

While they all might have various feelings on animals (see below), they can’t deny that you truly do love animals

Your family’s sanctuary focuses on healing injured animals and rehabilitating them so they can go back into the wild

Of course, your family has many sanctuaries around the world and some focus more on conservation while others focus on research

The one closest to the school focuses mainly on conservation and as such, is massive and functions like a zoo ( in terms of having people come in and see the animals)

Anyways, the host club is very supportive and often helps you with organizing donation events

Oftentimes, your family will collaborate with them and allow them to rent out parts of the conservation center for events

Aside from the conservation center though, your family owns a few ranches and farms (not for commercial profit, although yall have sold a few animals)

The farms and ranches are relatively small scale but they make great venues for the host club and a great place for getaways/vacations

Your main house is where you keep most of your favorite animals

You have an aviary attached to your room (connected through a hallway that connects to your room) as well as a butterfly garden in the backyard

You also have an aquarium tank, 2 dogs, 1 cat, 1 snake, and a hamster that visits on weekends

You had to be stopped at some point

Tamaki

Tamaki loves animals

He was never really around animals growing up because of how sensitive his mom’s immune system is

So when he sees that you’re an animal person, he’s super excited

Like this man is already planning playdates between Antoinette and your pets/animals

You love his enthusiasm, just one small problem

It’s a little too much enthusiasm

Yes the animals are well trained, but how would you react if a 6′0 giant with long arms came barreling towards you screaming showing its teeth?

So yeah, Tamaki tends to set the animals off/ make them nervous

Because of that he’s only allowed around certain animals (ex. certain monkeys, certain birds, etc.)

He’s happy that he’s allowed around some animals but he still pouts every time there’s an animal he can’t be around

Kyoya

This man

Kyoya does not fuck with animals. Like at all

The first time the host club went to your house, you were holding a hamster and Kyoya moved back about 10 feet

When you asked him what was wrong, he just said “Rats are carriers of many of the most deadly diseases”

You told him that you were holding a hamster and that while hamsters were rodents, the worst he’d get sick with would be salmonella

He doesn’t believe you, but yeah sure whatever

For Kyoya it just gets worse after that

The first time he sees you holding a tarantula, he loses his shit

“Look how cute it is Kyoya!”

“Get that vermin away from me!”

I could go on and on about how much Kyoya doesn’t like animals (even domestic ones like cats and dogs)

He hates going to your house, but he often has to go there in order to set up events for the host club, what a nightmare

While he doesn’t care for animals, the business side of his brain can’t help but think of a marketing opportunity

Mori

Is one of two hosts that are going to be chill about it

He doesn’t feel one way or the other about animals and thinks it’s cool that you’re interested in them

Only thing is; if Honey’s afraid of your animals, he will have to ask you to leave he won’t hesitate to step in “harm’s” way

Surprisingly though, that actually makes him the chillest with your animals

Much to your surprise (and Tamaki’s sorrow), the animals love him

He just has this calming vibe that sets the animals at ease

It also helps that he smells nice and is super tall

For most of them it’s like sitting on a giant tree

He’s not really complaining though, it makes his job of protecting Honey that much easier

Honey

Oh boy

He might actually be the worst with animals

It’s not even an issue of being unable to defend against aggressive animals (Honey could probably solo a grizzly bear)

It’s just he has a very strict “cute” animal policy that changes wildly depending on his mood, the temperature, the angle of the wind, the humidity, etc.

He’s very bougie when it comes to what animals he will tolerate and what animals he will refuse to see

The general safe choices are rabbits (especially bunnies), kittens, cows, tits (the bird species), and baby animals of almost every domestic mammal species)

Him and the hamster you see on weekends are best friends

Also, you have had issues with him trying to feed the animals sweets

Explaining to Honey why rabbits can’t have carrot cake was not an easy conversation, nor was it one you thought you’d need to have

Because of how specific he is about what animals he finds cute, you likened him to a crocodile (because of how sensitive they are to temp. changes in egg)

Needless to say...he was not pleased

Hikaru

So him and Kaoru don’t really care for animals but they try to relate to you in somewhat similar but different ways

Hikaru is always trying to get you to do/recreate stunts with the animals

“Hey Y/N, we should-”

“No Hikaru”

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say”

“No you cannot use the dolphins for hoop tricks, no you cannot teach the gorillas how to roll blunts, no you cannot “bribe” the koalas with eucalyptus...”

Yeah he’s a menace

It’s mostly all in good fun though

Hikaru doesn’t really care for animals but he does find it hilarious that the animals like him more than Tamaki

Also, completely random but Hikaru definitely send you those “horse-sized duck vs duck sized horses” memes

Kaoru

Kaoru also tries to use animals on the internet to relate to you, but he’s a lot tamer than Kaoru

Kaoru is kind of like the parent who learns one thing you like and is like “that’s your entire personality right?”

Poor bby is trying his best

Anyways, whereas Hikaru tries to recreate memes, Kaoru sends you them

They range in quality and format; from top text, bottom text to “is this a ____”

At least once a day, Kaoru will send you a meme or picture of an animal with a caption that says ‘this reminded me of u :)’

It’s so endearing that you can’t even be mad about it

Haruhi

Is the only other one who’s kind of cool about the whole thing

She’s really only been around animals in the park or the occasional pet store

Growing up, she didn’t really have the time (or money) to go to the zoo, that and the fact that Ranka doesn’t care at all for animals (she thinks they’re weird and gross)

When Tamaki hears this, he works himself up into a frenzy, torn that his “daughter” has never been to a zoo (even tho he hasn’t either)

But she likes the fact that you’re so passionate about animals

At heart, she’s a scholar, so she loves learning new things she didn’t know before, she could spend all day just listening to you talk about animals

Not to mention the fact that you’re basically giving her a free informational tour  every time you see an animal

#ohshc imagines #ohshc x reader #ohshc headcanons #tamaki suoh #kyoya ootori #hikaru hitachiin #kaoru hitachiin #honey senpai #mori senpai #haruhi fujioka

[dancingazaleas]

dating connie springer hcs

simp alert simp alert simp alert

connie is abt to be a regular on my blog i love his himbo ass so much also i’m tired of the lack of connie fics

also i am a connie kin and i am in love with him, yes i am conceited

warnings/notes: cursing, sex jokes, modern au!, canon au too, connie being a himbo, LOTS OF FLUFF, angst <3

modern au!

ok first of all, mr springer here would probably not even notice u at first, he’s literally in his own world

but when he does he’s like ‘awooga awooga😻’

whenever he has a crush on someone, be it anyone, i feel like he acts like a lovestruck girl.

like i feel like he does the same thing as me, like if u were dating him and said smth really sweet like “i love you so much you are my world” he’d be like “STOP IM GONNA SHART”

he doesn’t exactly know to handle love in a serious way, he’s just not in relationships tht much!

he’s very smitten and sweet on the first date too, this mf will be so cryptic

like all of a sudden ur getting texts that say “heyyyyy so what’s ur favorite thing to do? haha i’m boreddd” like connie just... just ask

HE’S SUCH A GENTLEMAN

connie also loves pda, he will give you kisses in public around anyone. he does not care

he’ll text you at like 3 am and be like “miss u🙁” like go to bed

i feel like connie doesn’t get jealous but he DOES get insecure. he’s not mad that you’re spending time with other people but it will make him questions if he’s good enough for you sometimes

if connie were to get jealous i feel like he’d be extra touchy

if you were to have any classes with him while you both are students, he will literally cheat off you

“babe, i’ll take you on a date on friday if i can have the answers!!”

“say less.”

i feel like connie is secretly sad about whatever. he doesn’t tell anyone but jean, sasha, marco, and you about it

connie probably also wouldn’t know how to efficiently comfort you if you were upset.

whenever you do come to him, he gives you encouragement and reassurance and love and then decides to slip in a little joke to see if you can handle it

he ends up joking with you for the rest of the night

i genuinely think that connie is secretly a diehard kung-fu panda fan? sometimes on date nights, he makes you watch it with him

with a guy like connie, you barely have to second guess him loving you.

connie is generally friendly with everyone he comes across. he has a big heart and isn’t afraid to let his friends know that he loves them

but with connie, i think he’s a lot like me and just likes to be alone a lot and left alone. he will hours without texting you and then text u and be like “wait what happened?”

this man will fight with you on the daily

like you’re sitting on the couch watching tv?? connie punches ur arm

standing up just to stand? connie is shoving you and then putting his fists up

laying in bed together? connie is smacking your forehead

oh my god, he will literally come up to you all lovey dovey and lay on you then will coo “omg babe, i love you so much ur so cute!! i love you” which is suspicious in itself

AND THEN THIS MF WILL FUCKING FART ON YOU.

like not cute little toots, FULL ON FARTS THAT STINK

connie is so loud. literally so fucking loud

it’s cause he’s comfortable around you and you can’t help but be like ♥️♥️ because of it, he’s too cute

whenever you post on instagram, he’s in your comments acting like those creepy sugar daddies and porn bots

conniesprings: so beautiful!! send boobs😁

conniesprings: wanna have some fun with me? check dms😉

he makes the fuckboy emoji every time you snapchat him a selfie of you with the caption of “haha ur so sexy.... nudes⁉️”

i feel like connie would facetime you every time he has to poop. you always get so mad and hang up but he will spam you with calls until you answer. claims it’s a “bonding experience”

he put his contact name as ‘dad😩🥵⁉️’ on your phone because he thinks he’s so funny

also anytime you bend down/over to pick something up or to look at smth he literally grabs ur hips and pretends to fuck u 😭

he’s also so shameless, he will smack your ass in public; he does not care

literal menace to society but we love him

he loves you with his whole heart and soul, he wouldn’t trade you for the world

canon au!

connie would not get in a relationship in canonverse, but he would fall in love possibly

he would never act on it, he doesn’t have the luxuries because he’s a soldier.

he shows his love in small affections though, but not small enough where sasha and jean don’t notice it.

he’s always checking in on you, and if you’re a scout, always making sure your equipment is working and that your gas is filled

however, he won’t try to convince levi, armin, or hanji to keep you out of dangerous situations.

saving the world is his top priority.

if you are put into a dangerous situation, he will pray for you to be alright and safe.

sometimes late at night when everyone is asleep, he stays up and cries. he wishes for you both to have a different life without any of this, for the two of you to be together

connie doesn’t joke as much as he used to, but he will always try to make an effort for you.

he would devastated if you were to die.

he usually isn’t allowed to have time for mourning or grieving, so whenever he does get rare chances to be alone, he cries to himself with his head in his hands

connie springer’s smile is gone at this point. he’s lost everyone and everything.

he’s just a shell of a man now.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #aot angst #aot fluff #connie springer #connie x reader #connie snk #connie aot

[beldaroot]

mmmm Richie firing his writers and writing his own material + Eddie quitting his stuffy analyst job and becoming Richie’s PR manager! Power couple!

yes! i totally agree that richie should fire his writers because i always thought it was dumb how he even had ghost writers in the first place! richie is so meticulous on how he is perceived so i believe he would likely want control in curating his own image so it makes more sense that he would only use his own writing!

that being said, if we are using ch2 timeline, i love the idea of richie becoming his ambitious self and firing his shitty writers and trying his best to write his own material. he's kind of freaking out about it though so he calls eddie but then eddie's immediately like "i've going to therapy, i'm getting a divorce, and i just quit my job." and now both of them are freaking out together about their impulsive life-changing decisions, but by the end of the call they're both laughing because richie hates when eddie gets too anxious, so he's making jokes left and right, pitching ideas for his new material. and for the first time in a long time, they both feel free. and it's getting late and eddie's got that sleepy voice, and richie is so in love with this man that he just blurts out, "since you're practically jobless right now, you can come work for me. steve mentioned i needed a pr manager or something like that."

and eddie's like, "i don't know a single thing about pr, rich. both my public and private relations are abysmal and literally falling apart as we speak."

richie laughs, "hey! you got me! our relationship is good!"

"yeah, it is, isn't it? even if you're trying to bribe me to work for you?" but his face is soft and holds no malice.

"hey i'm just looking out for my friend! the job market is all about networking and who you know! steve could use all the help he can get when it comes to managing me. this can be a temporary gig until you land on your own two feet!" the words are spilling out of him in a rush, but he's just excited. he knows it's not the greatest idea to mix work with pleasure, but eddie's in a rough patch right now, isn't he being a good friend?

"hm," eddie says while his face is scrunched up in thought, and it's so cute that richie wishes he was there in person so he could pinch his cheek, "i'll think about it, send me steve's contact info."

and richie does. and then a week goes by without either of them mentioning it again, so richie thinks it was just a silly little convo and a wishful dream. but then one evening, he gets a call from eddie, "i signed the contract."

"you what? contract for what?"

"to be your pr manager doofus. steve sent it to your label for final signature."

"wait, this is real? you're going to be a pr manager?" feeling confused yet giddy.

"yes. i don't really have much to do. steve says he'll handle most of your gigs and shit, but i'll be there to help with your image on social media and interviews. because god knows you need all the help you can get with that." and richie knows he's teasing from the slight tilt of his lips, but damn, he really doesn't even care because this is the best news ever. he says as much.

"this is the best news ever!"

"yeah, well now i actually have to get social media so i can monitor what you're saying so your reputation doesn't become a dumpster fire."

"well they do call me trashmouth for a reason."

and now richie makes it his personal mission to use social media as often as he can, much to eddie's chagrin. eddie is constantly sending threatening messages or yelling at him over the phone to delete a tweet or change the caption of an instagram post. it's truly the most fun he's ever had, especially when he screenshots those messages and posts them social media for everyone to see.

after one particularly ridiculous tweet, richie is waiting for a menacing call from eddie to chew him out, and on cue, eddie caller ID photo pops up on his phone.

"i'm quitting fyi." in lieu of an actual introduction.

"aw, eds my man, don't be like that! i'll delete the tweet now i promise!"

"what tweet?" eddie's eyes widen, but then he shakes his head, "no, never mind it's not my problem anymore!"

"wait, you're actually serious? you're really quitting me?" richie feels like he's been punched in the gut.

"the divorce is finalized in a month. i got accepted into a grad school in LA with a program i'm actually interested in that doesn't involve anything related to risks. i won't have time to monitor every inane tweet or godforsaken post you make on social media anymore."

richie is struck dumb as he tries to process all of that. "wait.... does that mean you're moving to LA?"

"yeah, i'm moving to LA." eddie's trying to hide a smile, "equal distance from you and bill actually, it worked out pretty well if you ask me."

and now richie can't help to hide the smile on his face. "eds, you sly dog! i can't believe you've kept this from me!"

"i knew if i said anything before everything got finalized you would blurt it all out to your followers. and i already had those trolls bothering me enough, thank you very much!"

"and that's why you were such a great pr manager!" richie exclaims, "and as sad as i am to let you go, i'm proud of ya! this is the best news ever!"

eddie rolls his eyes, "that's what you said when i got the job."

"well this is 1000x better! we're gonna be in the same state now! oh, this is going to be so much fun, eds! i can annoy you in person all the time!"

"yeah, and instead of threatening to strangle you via text i can actually fulfill that threat."

"please eds, let's wait to talk about kink negotiations until after you get to LA."

so, even though eddie isn't officially richie's pr manager anymore, when he moved to LA he still ended up monitoring and disapproving richie's social media posts regularly. and that's totally fine by richie because even if eddie wasn't his pr manager, eddie did become his official boyfriend two months after eddie's move. and that's truly how they became a power couple: doing the jobs they love, together <3

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #sorry this took so long to answer omg idk why i decided to make this a lil story #but i'm more of a fan of eddie and richie being independent on their journeys of recovery and self-reflection #like obviously i think they're co-dependent but when it comes to their careers - i can't really see eddie in the limelight #so i like the idea of richie giving eddie a stepping stool but eddie discovering his goals on his own :') #i hope this answer was decent enough anon <3 #it

[dragonrajafanfiction]

“I can’t imagine this place being used for anything good, not with all that blood all over the walls.” 

N

“To err is human, to dream divine."

W anyone ya want to really^^

You’re standing in the pouring rain. It’s raining so hard you can barely keep your eyes open. The heavy, relentless drops are beating on you, dozens of times per second, and despite your attempt at preparation - a bright yellow poncho that you snagged at the last dingy rest stop on the way to this godforsaken piece of no-mans-land - you’re soaked through anywhere  that peeked out. Your hands, are wet and icy cold. So is your face and you’re starting to get soaked through your collar.

The dark sky turned white with a few flashes of lightning. Shadows of the surrounding dense forests reached into the heavens behind the two story antebellum mansion. It loomed over the flat land with a menacing presence. Its formal gleaming whitewashed façade was darkened by climbing ivy. Its painted columns were running with cracks. The wood was split underneath like shattered old bones.

You shiver with more than just cold. 

Your professors looked at you in confused sympathy when you entered Cassell College. You barely passed the 3E exam as a base C-Rank.  Professor Schneider passed your name on the list of potential commissioners and you were happy to spend your days examining your love of ancient Aztec art in the hopes of specializing in MesoAmerican Archeaology.

Of course, you passed all the classics on dragon genetics and weapons engineering but with the most useless Soul Skill on all of Campus, you figured you’d hardly matter when it came to dragon slaying.

Norma told you in a forced optimistic voice that only two other hybrids had been documented with the Soul-Skill Devour. It meant that the user could make themselves immune to all toxins and could digest anything they swallowed. It may sound neat on the surface, however, it didn’t change the fact that a person might not want to eat odd things or that it would taste and feel terrible going down.

Because it is such a weak Soul Skill and it was documented, your Soul Skill ended up on public record. You spent the rest of your college days being known as the student who could ‘eat shit and NOT die’ and fielding dares to swallow everything from the most toxic substances to the most disgusting, and fielding invitations to the Gear Department for what was presumably lunch as well as testing.

So when you got the summons to report to the Executive Department, you thought it was a joke and didn’t bother replying until you got a second email explaining that if you didn’t show up you would be expelled. 

“All Cassell College Alumni must have an internship and participate in missions for graduation.” Norma patiently explained to you as you received the mission. “Even though your major is in archeology, you are expected to complete a mission for the college.”

Sure. Whatever. You got onto the big black helicopter and left the college, expecting a normal mission where you hopefully ‘stood watch’ or something easy, just to check a box on your resume at graduation. What you didn’t expect was to be met by Caesar Gattuso, the President of the Student Union, once you got off the aircraft.

Even as he reclined in the front seat of a camouflage colored military jeep, he looked every bit the veteran. He was staring at the tablet with his intense blue gaze. A hint of stubble lit his chin in a faint blond halo. The door of the Jeep was open and you could see that he was dressed in Camo pants under the white tank-tee that was already getting sticky with sweat in the humid air of the southern United States.

He didn’t bother looking up at you or explaining anything. He closed the application with a deft swipe of his long fingers and looked at you. No doubt he stamped you with the same label of “Useless baggage” as everyone else did. Silently, those eyes scanned down and then back up again. And then his eyebrows rose -- you imagined a little ‘ding’ sound as his calculations spit out a result.

Much to your surprise, he grinned.

Caesar was used to much higher level people groveling at his feet for his favor, trying their best to get a word in, trying their best to get a little bit of approval from him. Here he was completely alone, save a single person -- you -- who simply had no hope of rising to anything but the podium to reach out, take your diploma and disappear into obscurity.

So sure. Laugh it up, golden boy. You return his smile with none of the brightness and shrug.

You have one duffle bag of supplies but it was basic. A pistol of Frigg and live ammunition, a change of clothes, a first aid kit, a two way radio and flares. You tossed it in the back of the Jeep and got into the passenger seat.

“We have a report of what may be a backwoods cult that has forbidden dragon artifacts. The Cultists I’ll have no issue with. So don’t worry about it.”

“I wasn’t planning to. You’re the expert, not me. I just need this to graduate.”

He shifted the jeep into gear. The tires crunched against gravel before pulling out on to smooth surface. “You remind me of someone else. Don’t you aspire to more?”

“It’s not really possible.”

Caesar huffed, his eyes narrowing. “That’s only because of how you view things.”

You refrain from rolling your eyes. That was so easy for him to say. He was A-ranked, rich, famous. You were none of those things. Under your yearbook photo they should put the caption ‘just happy to be here’.

The road disappeared under a glowing emerald canopy of white oak, sumac and locust trees. The greenery crowded onto the road, and the car was kept corraled by a single rusty guardrail as the surrounding plants scraped at it. But Caesar pumped the accelerator and hugged the curves, weaving this way and that as the tension rose up your entire body. You found yourself gripping the seat and praying that no one would come swinging round the blind curves in the opposite direction and hit you head on.

Still, you didn’t feel you could ask him to slow down.

As the sunse, and you climbed the tall mountain toward your destination, the temperature noticeably cooled and you felt a chill. At the rest stop, you bought the poncho and felt the first drop of rain on your way back in to the jeep.

“So it’s true you don’t get nauseous?” Caesar asked you.  He didn’t look at you, but he was looking at a map. A red dot marked a spot, likely where they were supposed to go.

“It’s not that I don’t get nauseous, it’s that I can’t get poisoned and I can digest anything so long as I can get it down.”

“Hmmm...” Caesar rubbed his chin.

“Are you trying to think of something useful for me to do?”

Before you could think of anything else to say, you stared down the barrel of the Desert Eagle. You leap to get away, adrenaline rushing and tell you to escape, but before you could reach for the door handle, the barrel flashed and the car filled with gun residue. You grunt as the Frigg bullet shattered and sent its medication rushing through your blood stream.  Your eyes burn golden and you double over, fighting the sudden dizziness and fatigue. “You... you asshole...” “That’s what I thought. You’re not affected by Frigg bullets.” 

Frigg bullets contained an extremely powerful sedative and you could barely see. Not affected is a misnomer! You’re still affected you just get over it! You didn’t remember Caesar pulling out of the gas station until you were well on your way to the top of the mountains and it had started to rain.

“You still with me?”

“Yeah...” You rasp, cursing him a million times in your heart. You reached for a bottle of water that you had stashed.

“Not being effected by Frigga Bullets is a big deal. You shouldn’t sell yourself short.”

You stared at him in disbelief. He was smug, happy with his little experiment, even though you can throw that up on the pile of countless other experiments your fellow students had performed on you. “God,... I just wanna graduate.” You whisper.

Now, standing at the entrance of a massive mansion you realize you have no idea how to fight. Just because you could withstand frigg bullets didn’t mean you could withstand regular ones.

Caesar’s eyes burned golden and ghostly figures, like grim reapers, flew from his body. He stood, unbothered by the rain, listening. You hold your breath, not wanting to interfere. 

“Looks like the place is empty. Let’s go.”

The steps were rotting and soft, bowing dangerously under your feet. On the porch, a rusty metal swing creaked in a gusty wind. Caesar lifted one leg and kicked the door right in. It swung back on the hinges and Caesar entered, eyes behind his gun despite the lack of life signs.

The first thing you smell is rust or copper. You can taste it on your tongue, like licking a battery. As you step inside onto the linoleum floor, your shoes lightly adhere to it. Each step made a sound like someone peeling wallpaper. A double staircase arched gracefully in front of you and framed a painting of a man in a suit, a woman in a traditional southern dress and a small dog, like a Doberman, sitting between them.

Looking left, the walls were streaked black and looking down, you realize the black continued on the floor where you were stepping. The lightning flashed and revealed the dark brown all over the floor.

“I can’t imagine this place being used for anything good, not with all that blood all over the walls.” Caesar said.

[fluffyblaire]

heroes & villains hunger games

I tossed a bunch of pro heroes and villains in to a Hunger Games simulator and I cannot believe how wild (and frighteningly perfect) it turned out. Place your bets, people, you don’t want to miss this!!! ╰(✧∇✧)╯

No explicit manga spoilers but if you’ve read the manga, I think you’ll find this extra entertaining.

Let me walk you through the highlights! 

Cornucopia Bloodbath:

Mister Compress takes the first kill!!!

I dunno about you but this picture of Dabi with this caption actually scared me a little bit. At least it’s not Toga ^_^

OOF—

━(◯Δ◯∥)━ン ...

But—but I purposely put Gentle and La Brava together in District 12 because they’re like star-crossed lovers in canon... and Gentle really did THAT smh. 

Day 1:

BJ avenged Hawks’ nose so FAST THO

The mental image of this one was too much ^^^

Did these two in succession make you choke the way it made me choke? Betrayals all around and only on the first day!

This is a pretty cool squad, but watch out for Gentle. He’s about to go on a rampage.

Day 2:

Okay, Shiggy is pretty evil here but wait for it...

GENTLE OH MY GOD stay tuned lmao this man ain’t thru yet

There’s something so anticlimactic and depressing about this RIP Toga

PFFFFFTTT—

In all my experience with the Hunger Games simulator, I have never seen a character turn out as violent and wicked as Gentle is turning out. I MEAN—the dude is not only leading in kills, but all his kills are brutal... His district mate La Brava, Ryukyu after she spared him, and now Miss Joke with a goddamn hatchet;;;;;;

Aww that’s cute... until I remembered Shigaraki forced Fatgum to choose between killing Kamui Woods or Present Mic eariler *sigh* poor Fatgum, he is not having a good time 😔

Day 3:

For those of you here for Kai, I just wanna let you know that this is all your man does throughout the entire game

Fatgum is having a TERRIBLE TIME

Aww;; poor guy, it’s been 3 days I hope his nose is getting better

Day 3 was surprisingly quiet huh? :3

Day 4:

And now back to our regularly scheduled bloodshed!

Overhaul stans come collect your man

Shiggy isn’t doing so good

In true soulmate fashion, Eraser Head and Present Mic die literally right after one another. 

Also, Gentle has 4 kills now, he got rid of almost 20% of his competition by himself, someone stop this madman!!! OAO

Day 5:

Our honorary participation award goes to Dabi who’s greatest highlight was acquiring throwing knives on the first day

Here is the status of every tribute currently by the way. Things to note:

Gentle and Fatgum somehow have the same number of kills, Fatgum really snapped these last couple of days huh? Midnight is also sneaking up on them with that kill count.

Overhaul, Hawks, Gang Orca, and Shigaraki have somehow managed to stay alive while also not killing anybody. Impressive!

Only Districts 10 and 2 still have both tributes left, will one of them be the winner????

Noooo;;;; why is he getting all the angst events?? That throw-down with Wash for the bread basket was literally the most action Hawks has seen this entire game so far.

You bet this man is really going for it. If this was a movie, Gentle would be the overpowered menace of a final boss at the end (think Cato from the actual hunger games)

Day 6:

Listen, I love Gang Orca but I have no idea where he’s been this entire game.

Wow, Fatgum and Shiggy’s storyline together was wild. 

JESUS MIDNIGHT SHES THE DARK HORSE I NEVER SAW COMING 

Finally Gentle’s rampage has come to an end just like that. A tragic death for a tragic evil man. I’d say he was the principal villain of this game, but Midnight might be stepping up to take his place.

At this point only Midnight, Hawks, Overhaul, and Mister Compress are alive. Hawks and Overhaul both haven’t killed anyone—

PLEASE the dumbass energy from Overhaul this entire game has been just *chef’s kiss*

!!! Hawks really bided his time until the end, and he’s finally moving! Hawks took out Midnight while she tried to run—hold up... that sounds familiar—

Day 7:

... O_O

HE—

You’re telling me the man who had his nose broken by a washing machine on the first day and then who basically hid the entire game crying himself to sleep with nightmares ended up winning...?

WELL HAWKS IS ONE OF MY FAVES SO WHO AM I TO COMPLAIN ¯\_(OuO)_/¯

Listen, I don’t know how smart this simulator is with writing an actual story, but damn we have some good narratives here especially with the top 5:

Winner Hawks: Injured on the first day making him an underdog, kept his hands clean almost the entire time while racking up angst points, emerged at the last minute when almost everyone else was dead and personally took out his last 2 opponents to win

2nd Place Mister Compress: Did one thing at the beginning and never did anything again just like in canon Got the first kill, got no more kills, and actually lasted until the very end. It’s poetic as shit: this game began with his kill and ended with his death.

3rd Place Midnight: A dangerous woman no one saw coming and who quietly climbed the way to victory while being overshadowed by Gentle.

4th Place Overhaul: Did wholesome things the entire time and not harming anyone with no one harming him either, but the one time he tries to harm someone, it backfires and he dies. Can we get an F in the chat for this man?

5th Place Gentle: Captivating tribute right from the start. His ambition and savagery held me the nation transfixed! And he was doing great for a while before his glory eventually fizzled out in a quiet slow death. 

Tuturu~ You’ve reached the end, hope you enjoyed this mess and thank you for reading! 😊    

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha hawks #hawks #takami keigo #bnha overhaul #chisaki kai #gentle criminal #bnha midnight #bnha mr. compress #bnha miruko #usagiyama rumi #shigaraki tomura #bnha fatgum #bnha eraserhead #bnha present mic #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #hunger games simulator

[angrylizardjacket]

my baby’s a public menace {Ben Hardy/Reader/Roger Taylor}

Four Iconic Moments The Press Had A Fucking Field Day With

A/N: 2670 words. So this time we’ve got Modern Times with 70s!Roger pulled forwards in time. Don’t think too hard about how it works it just does.

1. It Becomes Official

The moment they call Ben’s name at the BAFTAs, to receive the award for Lead Actor in a Television Series, you feel like the whole world is coming to a stand still, and Ben’s rising, disbelief written all over his face. 

“That’s me.” He says, quietly, as the applause has already begun, and then Roger’s on his feet, beaming, and he wraps his arms around Ben, pashing him directly in front of the camera that was catching every moment, and Ben kisses him back easily, before turning to you, eyes bright, and he pulls you to your feet, giving you a kiss as well.

“Congratulations, babe.” You murmur, and he’s so fucking ecstatic when he pulls back, and heads into the aisle, heading towards the stage. You slide into his seat with ease, lacing your fingers with Roger’s where he’s bouncing with energy and beaming with pride. 

“He fuckin’ won.” Roger laughs with a little disbelief, and you turn to each other, both absolutely radiating with pride and adoration.

“Our boy did it.” You giggle, and Roger’s gaze dips to your lips for a moment before he looks back up, a new spark in his eyes that you knew all too well.

“I can’t wait ‘til we all get home.” He dropped his voice low, and you could feel yourself growing a little flustered at the suggestion.

“Keep it in your pants, dear,” you nudged him, and he barked out a laugh, giving you a wink before he turned to where Ben was finally walking across the stage. You, however, felt your heart stop in your chest, “he kissed us on camera.”

“Well, I kissed him,” Roger mused, his thumb rubbing against the side of your hand, “couldn’t help myself.” He admitted, still beaming as Ben was handed his award, expression bright and a little disbelieving as he leaned into the microphone.

“I think I just won a BAFTA and outed myself in the same minute, so that’s going to be hard to beat next year.” Is the opening line of his speech, and the audience titters with polite laughter, while you and Roger are hiding your snorts. “I actually had to email the organisational committee to ask them to let me bring more than one plus one, I’m glad to see that it wasn’t in vain.” He laughs; he goes on to thank the crew of the show he worked on, the other cast members, his family, and he looks for you and Roger in the audience, pointing the award at you. “And for Rog and Y/N, of course; the weirdest and best thing to happen to me in a long time.”

“Do you think he knows how much we wanna suck his dick?” You lean over to Roger, whispering under your breath, amused smile on your lips at you look up at your boyfriend grinning on stage.

“Of course he does, look at that smile.” Roger responds with a low chuckle as Ben leaves stage, heading back towards you. When he gets back to his seat, you move back to your own seat, resting your head on his shoulder when he sits down.

“We’re so proud of you, baby.” You tell him softly as they’re beginning the next segment on stage, and Ben reaches out with his free hand to rest it on your thigh, giving you a squeeze.

“I know, love.”

2. Roger Throws Half A Chicken At A Paparazzi

“Do you think we should go inside?” You ask, voice low as you catch sight of a man in a baseball cap and dark glasses covertly trying to take photos of you three. It was a nice evening, you, Roger, and Ben had been enjoying a meal outside at an upscale restaurant, the three of you draped on a two person outdoor lounge, your entrees having just been cleared up. Both you and Ben are on your phones, and Roger’s between the two of you, nose buried in the paper.

“Why?” Ben asks, not looking up from his phone, and you shift a little uncomfortably, giving the man trying to look like he’s not taking photos.

“Hey, dude, can you just leave us alone? We just wanna get dinner.” You call to the man, and he stands, a little flustered.

“So it’s true, you’re really dating both of them?” He calls back, stashing his phone in his pocket, pulling out a little recording device; the asshole came prepared.

“No, we’re just really good friends who make out at the BAFTAs.” Roger rolls his eyes, folding up the paper, and throwing the paper onto the table in front of him.

“No need to get snarky, mate, I just think it’s weird that somebody like her would get on so well with-” He’s cut off just as a kind and beleagured waitress puts down what looks like half a roast chicken surrounded by salad onto the table.

“Fuck off, alright?” Ben snaps at the man, clearly irritated, sitting up straighter, giving the waitress an apologetic smile as she leaves in a hurry.

“The hell do you mean ‘someone like her’?!” Roger growls, and you actually have to put a hand on his chest where he’s leaning forward, as if getting ready to throw himself at the reporter.

“I- do you wanna address the rumours then, Y/N about-” The man starts, but Roger cuts him off with a snarl.

“If this bastard brings up those fuckin’ gold digger accusations, I’m gonna start throwing things.” He warns, and not a moment later, the man brings up the very words Roger had told him not to. You’re just heaving a heavy sigh, used to being hounded by the gossip magazines, though you try not to pay them any mind.

“I could shout how much I love you from the rooftops and these assholes would still think this is some sort of weird, sugar daddy situation.” Ben turns to you, his voice low as he gives you a long suffering smile. You lean in across the empty space that Roger had just vacated to give him a kiss, before turning to where Roger was wielding his roast chicken like a grenade, lobbing it at the reporter, yelling about how he’s ‘sick and tired of hearing people talk shit about his girlfriend; she’s got more kindness and talent in one tit than the paparazzi has in his whole body’. 

“We should probably get him before he does any real damage.” Ben muses, to which you agree. The two of you move to collect your rogue boyfriend as he continues to yell and squirm.

“Baby, baby please calm down; you’ve made a scene, you’ve thrown a chicken, you’ve mentioned my tits, we can have dinner at home.” You try to placate him, your arm tucked in his as Ben’s got an arm around his shoulders, the two of you guiding him from the restaurant.

“Just makes me so bloody mad.” Roger growls his hands on your hips where you’ve got your arms around his waist as Ben pays for your half finished meals. “It’s twenty eighteen, you’d think dickheads would learn to grow up.” He huffed.

“I know, baby.” You muse, bringing him in for a kiss to distract him, hoping to let his anger simmer down a little as you two stand in the parking lot. 

“I just love you is all, people like that make me so pissed-” He whispers, more to himself than anything, but then you’re kissing him again, humming affirmations, your hands in his hair.

“I love you too, I love you too.” You murmur against his lips.

Later that night you’ll see Ben’s instagram story from just before he joins the two of you again. You and Roger, arms around each other, lit by a single streetlight, you’re leaning in to him, lips inches from his, and he’s smiling gently back at you; the whole image is surprisingly intimate, especially for Roger. It’s captioned ‘I’m allowed to take candids ‘cos they love me’.

3. Someone Gives Ben Tequila

Ben’s not usually the type to get drunk and reckless. Or well, he’s the type to get drunk on occasion, but not reckless, not like Roger, who can be incredibly reckless even while sober, nor like you, since you could go either way. Ben was meant to be the grounded one. Except sometimes he has tequila. It’s an afterparty for a movie he’d gotten a supporting role in, it’d been fun, but he was looking forward to being able to spend time with you and Roger again. Speaking of the two of you, you’d disappeared almost half an hour ago, Roger had gone to the bathroom and you’d gone to get more drinks.

When he finds you, you’re trapped in an uncomfortable conversation with one of the editors assistants’, a weedy kid who couldn’t seem to figure out that you didn’t want to talk to him.

“Hi, baby!” You call out to Ben the moment you think he’ll be able to hear you over the music, and he makes a beeline for you, his heart singing when he sees your face light up.

“Hello, love, I was wondering where you’d gotten to.” He says, barely acknowledging the guy you’d been talking to, who’s own expression fell as Ben pressed a kiss to your lips. The two of you head off in search of Roger, who you find by the bathroom, talking with someone who’s clearly quite enamoured with him. From his easy stance and casual smile, you could tell he was at least enjoying the woman’s company. Neither you nor Ben were usually the jealous type, but after a few drinks, you couldn’t be blamed for just wanting to stake your claim.

“Hey, babe, who’s this?” Ben asks, slipping an arm around Roger’s shoulders as you stepped around to loop your arm through his on his other side. Roger, with a sly, knowing smile, looks between the two of you, before smiling brightly at the woman who’d been talking to him.

“Like I was saying, this is my boyfriend and girlfriend; you’ll have to excuse them, they get jealous easily.” He smirked, and the woman looked a little shocked, a little flustered, as she stuttered her way through an apology. “It’s no worry, I’m sure they can entertain themselves for a while,” and with that, he winked at you. Taking the hint, you moved, taking Ben’s hand and leading him away.

“He’s just being a social butterfly, you know how he is.” You mused gently, the two of you flopping onto a sofa. Ben hums thoughtfully, sitting beside you, your hand in his. He presses a kiss to your shoulder, trailing kisses up your neck to your jaw.

“‘m not jealous.” He said, lips at the corner of yours, pressing another kiss there before he brings his hand up to cup your cheek, moving so you’re smiling over your shoulder at him, “it’s just nice to say you guys are mine.” And his voice is low, almost a growl, and you feel a shiver run down your spine.

“I like the sound of that.” You tell him, kissing him hard, letting his hands wander and pull you close to him.

“Mine?” He asks, and his hand is on your thigh, moving your legs so you’re sitting over him rather than next to him.

“Yours.” You agree, kissing him again, messy and passionate, you can taste the alcohol on his lips and his tongue but you don’t care when he’s leaning you back to lie on the sofa. “And Roger’s.” You add quietly, and there’s a gleam in Ben’s eyes where he’s looking down at you, his arm around you, one hand on your waist.

“You’re ours, love, there’s no doubt about it.” He assures, and he leans in to kiss you again. 

“I can’t take you two anywhere!” Roger’s grinning when he finds the two of you, and Ben presses his laughter into your collar as you look up at Roger and make an insistent, grabby hand for him. “If you insist.” He chuckles, sinking to his knees to join you at your level, kissing you where you’re splayed out on the sofa, with Ben all but on top of you. “You know there’s a perfectly good bathroom not too far from here.” 

Not ten minutes later, one of the other cast members sends to the cast group chat, in all capitals ‘BEN’S BANGING IN THE BATHROOM’ which was met with either ‘at least they’ve freed up the sofa’ or ‘lmao called it’. You’re not surprised, nor are you ashamed, when some gossip rag has your face on it (or more accurately, Ben’s face) the next morning, and a riveting account of what happened with no actual details, and a photo someone took on their phone of you and Ben on the sofa. It wasn’t the first time, it probably wouldn’t be the last.

4. Roger Gets Instagram

Roger takes surprisingly well to instagram, which is both hilarious and terrifying. He posts a lot of selfies; he takes to being an instagram fuckboi like a duck takes to water. At first it’s mostly blurry shots, of sunlight, sometimes it’s you and Ben out of focus, laughing, or he gets one of you two to take a photo of him, shirtless. 

When he gets a waterproof phone, the first thing he does is take a photo of you and he kissing underwater at the beach, and then three separate, all individually hilarious videos of Ben trying and failing to do a majestic hair flip coming out of the water; in the last one, both boys get hit by a huge wave, and the video ends with you laughing, fishing the phone out of the surf.

The three of you go on holidays to somewhere sunny, and at the end of the week, he posts the highlights; you lying on your stomach beneath a palm tree on the beach, topless; a selfie of the three of you smiling at the camera against a backdrop of a starlit sky, golden in the light of a bonfire; Ben in a coconut bra, a little blurry with the movement of laughter, grinning at you just out of shot; you, in bed, making a truly terrible face where he’s just woken you up and the sun’s in your eyes. His favourite, however, is the one from him at the end of the holiday, shirtless and tanned, shot from the waist up, biting his lip as he’s turned to look off to the left, showing off how he’s covered in hickies.

The shots that get the most media attention are his more risque ones, like the shot on his story that you’d taken where you could see the bottom half of his face all the way down to his hips, with a sheet covering his modesty, but a lipstick kiss mark along his V-line and his tongue out. (There’s a followup photo on your instagram story, of your lipstick smeared, grin wide, and your hair messy, with the caption, ‘sometimes you just gotta be a messy bitch’, and people put two and two together, and conservatives lost it.) 

The most infamous actual post of his is the shot of you and Ben together in bed, he’s leaning against the headboard, still mostly laying down, and you’re draped over him, chin resting on his chest where the two of you are grinning about something. The sheet covers most of your ass, and comes up to Ben’s hips, and you’re giving the camera some pretty glorious side boob, and the photo’s framed to show room for one more person beside you in the bed, a sliver of sunlight shining through the curtains, across Ben’s chest and your back, and it’s just captioned ‘what a sight’. He’d asked you both before posting it, and you’d both agreed; it didn’t violate any guidelines, but social media still had a field day with the sweet, clearly post-coital photo.

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x reader x roger taylor #ben x reader x roger #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #borhap imagine #borhap cast #borhap cast imagine #queen #queen imagines #queen imagine #the angry lizard writes

[posthumanwanderings]

while I was on the train to Nakano Broadway to collect more Heisei era Godzilla toys, I thought I’d make a personal list of the best to worst Godzilla films (up until Godzilla 2000 cause that’s around the time I stopped caring, I’ll try again tho) since the new Godzilla film is around the corner and maybe some of you are interested in giving the Big G’s archive a shot (you can delete this caption too if you just like the pic! and yes Morrigan counts as a kaiju, a beautiful one at that)

1. Terror of Mechagodzilla - last of the Showa era, ending with one of Godzilla’s most deadly foes. and I love how fucking big Titanosaurus is, god damn. the cyborg girl was cool too, loved her arc and how she controls both monsters.

2. Godzilla Vs. Mothra (90′s) - Mothra’s Heisei debut, and looking more dazzling than ever and also alongside her evil twin Battra. the fight in Yokohama (after its real life modern expansion when Japan’s economy was at its best) was a nice fresh setting for the climax. this one perfectly balances campyness and just a good kaiju film altogether. 3. Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster - Ghidorah, besides Mothra and Mechagodzilla is probably the next most recognizable kaiju even to nonfans. One of the best moments in Godzilla history is when Mothra desparately tries to convince Godzilla and Rodan to team up against an even bigger menace, then they can get back to their typical kaiju businesses. 4. Godzilla Vs. Destroyah - like how T.O.M. ended the Showa era with a bang, this is the one that ended the 85-95 era with a monster that really beats the shit out of zilla who is already on the cusp of exploding like a nuclear reactor... it ties together the very first Godzilla movie too for plus points. for those looking for a more serious, borderline horror movie kaiju experience.  5. Godzilla Vs. Mothra (60′s) - yup two Mothra movies in the top 5. Mothra fights with Godzilla are always so tense, since Mothra being a giant graceful butterfly appears so delicate against big boi Godzilla, plus her kids are under his threat as well. and on top of that Godzilla moves and fights like a drunkard the whole time. 6. Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (70′s) - Godzilla faces his robot clone for the first time who has one of the largest movesets of any other kaiju, a true force to be reckoned with. instead of Mothra being summoned by an ancient race, we have King Caesar, a stone guardian puppy dog lion to team up with zilla against the bigger baddie. fun fact: this was filmed right after Japan gained back Okinawa from America since WWII, and makes once again another fresh setting.

7. Godzilla 1985 - I’ll be honest, the lone Godzilla movies with no other kaiju weren’t the top of my interest especially being an ADHD kid, but from a film perspective this is shot really well, the miniature city set had a nice upgrade since T.O.M. from a decade before, and I love the laser beam special effects from the upgraded Japanese Defense Force in this.

8. Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah (90′s) - Not to be confused with the other 5ish Ghidorah encounters, this was the Heisei debut of the 3 headed monster mixed into a time travel plot since movies like Terminator were all the rage in the early 90′s. The tie in plot about WWII had more to be desired and felt very nationalist, but as a kaiju film the special effects were top notch especially with Mecha Ghidorah.

9. Destroy All Monsters - the ULTIMATE Showa era kaiju crossover fest has just about every giant monster Toho made up until the point because why not? It’s another typical story about mysterious aliens mind controlling kaiju to destroy Earth, but this time when they say Earth (and not just Tokyo) they mean it. Plenty of things get destroyed, nice big battle at the end, only thing lacking is they gave Baragon and Varan 3 seconds of screen time and they both are some of the coolest looking kaiju there are out there. big shame

10. Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (90′s) - in this Heisei take on MechaG, his role goes from super deadly alien robot menace to kinda still deadly robot guardian built by the EDF. he looks cool but just seems more weak compared to the more sinister alien engineered one. Rodan makes a long awaited return and basically has a custody battle with Godzilla over a mysterious kaiju egg. no spoilers

11. Godzilla Vs. Hedorah - probably the scariest Godzilla movie with Destroyah placed next. he fights an alien pollution monster who has been taking big rips from factory smoke stacks only making him bigger every time. Japan’s take on an environmental awareness film and I see nothing wrong with it one bit.

12. Godzilla Vs. Biolante - zilla sees another type of counterpart to himself, this time essentially a ‘PlantZilla’ after a scientist thought it might be a good idea to merge Godzilla cells with a plant for some reason. the story is a bit odd, but this remains in middle ground territory because it debuts Miki Saegusa, the super adorable psychic girl who appears in every 90′s film afterwards and the special effects of Biolante in final form are sick.it also has a disco version of the zilla theme for some reason.

13. Godzilla: King of The Monsters - someone would bash me big time for having this any lower on the list, but this is the one that started it all, grimly filmed in black & white a decade after the end of WWII. fans know this already but it’s the atomic bombs themselves which devastated Japan that influenced the idea for Godzilla, a force of mutated nature that lashes back on humanity for making really bad decisions. I like this and all but it lacks zero charm or kaiju style ‘fun’ but for good reason, since it was meant to be more of a horror flick. 

14. Godzilla Vs. Gigan - for those that do want the campiness, this is one of the best the series has to offer along with a couple more below. Godzilla’s ol pal Anguirus returns for his last Showa effort as they team up against space monsters Gigan (who is edgy af) and once again Ghidorah (who sadly has been fighting on his own the whole time while other monsters always team up to bash him). being in the 70′s, it’s got shades of James Bond / spy films in it and the fashion is on point. we get to hear Godzilla talk for the only time ever too.

15. Godzilla Vs. Megalon - probably out camps #14 for several reasons: this entire time there have been an ancient race of humans living below the Earth who feel enough is enough between pollution and expansion of society and finally unleash their protector, a giant cockroach monster with drills for arms to destroy just Japan all modern civilization (where was he during Hedorah’s visit tho?). 2nd reason is there’s copycat Ultraman who also looks like Jack Nicholson, then there’s the edgy middle-school bully like relationship between Megalon and Gigan and then lastly the infamous Godzilla dropkick you might’ve seen in GIF form, if not well here you go:

16. Godzilla Vs. Monster Zero - probably the 1st 90% campy zilla flick because of the Godzilla victory dance alone, but this was also because as time went by more kids cared about the movies and not the original target audience of war torn adults. the aliens (at least in the dub version) speak super monotone even when they are being huge bad asses, and we get to see G and his on-and-off lover buddy team up again but this time IN #&$%#% SPACE. the setting on Planet X was real cool to see as a kid, but sadly we haven’t seen any kaiju fighting back in space ever since. the NES Godzilla game fixes that itch.

17. Son of Godzilla - well I’ve only ever seen this movie twice, which means it maybe just isn’t that good, even for G fans. it debuts, of course, the son of Godzilla who looks like a cross between the Cookie Monster and Michelin Man. I’ll give this movie credit for distancing zilla away from the city setting in replace with his tropical home territory in Monster Island which only gets glimpses in the other films. the ending shot is real sweet too.

18. Godzilla Vs. SpaceGodzilla - back to spaciness, we do see one last alien monster come to Japan in the 2nd to last 90′s Godzilla movie, appropriately called SpaceGodzilla. while he lacks agility (when not flying on his giant meth crystal) he makes up for it with telekinesis and other long range attacks. the story / acting / mostly everything is pretty so-so and we all know deep inside the only reasons to watch it still are the scenes with baby Godzilla stepping on land mines and more Miki Saegusa wardrobe changes, but the final battle in a crystal filled Fukuoka is really awesome. 

19. Godzilla’s Revenge - wow well I just noticed I put 3 baby zilla focused movies all in a row near the very bottom of the list, my bad. this one takes the cake tho for pure cringe. but it’s better than the last 3 so it can’t be super terrible, right? once again no spoilers but the only thing that bumps this stock footage filled movie more up then from being the worst of all time are the super silly fight scenes against baby Godzilla’s bully Gabara. you know Godzilla has to do it to em.

20. Godzilla Vs. The Sea Monster - even tho the former movie just reviewed uses stock footage of almost all the fight scenes of this one, it is somehow worst than #19 because it focuses way too much on a 60′s party cruise, and Godzilla gets a lil King Kong-ish during a scene with the love interest of the movie, and the giant lobster monster with no lasers / projectile claws just doesn’t seem as threatening as all the previous monsters zilla has fought since.

21. Godzilla Vs. King Kong - I’ll admit, I never liked King Kong and probably never will, and because he moves faster than Godzilla they had to use non-slowed down footage to make the monsters fight like kids on a playground slapping each other, and just looks weird. real talk, Godzilla would beat the shit out of Kong with a single radioactive blast and the movie would end right there. but that’s not the ending we got.. let’s start a patreon to rewrite the movie we all wanted.

22. Godzilla Raids Again - alright we finally made it, thee very worst Godzilla movie of all time according to the loser typing this. why? because it went against everything the first Godzilla movie represented, but like... suddenly, since it’s the sequel to the movie and the big G was never meant to return after, which luckily wasn’t the case. it’s superrrr campy but on the acting side, and the fights with newcomer Anguirus are super sped up even more than the Kong fights, and just seems tacky overall in a non-funny way. the suit for Anguirus is honestly one of the coolest kaijus ever tho, and they made little changes to him every time he came back cause it was just that good. 

anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. if I were to recommend just 3 Godzilla movies to someone who has never seen them before to represent each side of the series, I’d pick Terror of MechaGodzilla for the serious pick, Ghidorah The Three Headed Monster for the balance / kaiju fest pick, and Godzilla Vs. Megalon for the most campy and fun one overall. hope this big list can help those who are curious! next up: Godzilla game reviews :)

#feel free to delete caption #godzilla #kaiju #long post #japan #tokusatsu #review #text #had to show some love to a big part of my childhood #mothra

[jackiestarsister]

My thoughts on “The Rise of Skywalker”

I just saw The Rise of Skywalker with my friend @ewoking-on-sunshine. I’m still processing it, but I have many thoughts. Spoilers below the cut.

It’s not a perfect movie. But I enjoyed it and am, for the most part, satisfied. All I wanted was for it to be enjoyable and make sense and bring some resolution to the story. I think it succeeded overall.

I feel like I can’t complain too much, because the biggest things I wanted to happen did happen: we got Ben’s redemption, a freaking Reylo kiss, and Ben smiling. We even got beautiful things I wasn’t expecting, like Han’s scene, and the revelation that Leia trained as a Jedi for a time. I think it can stand on its own as a story in itself, though The Last Jedi may remain my favorite installment as far as story craft.

Here are my miscellaneous thoughts and opinions:

~ Much of it feels like fan fiction. Whether that is good or bad, I’m not sure. It could just be that the fans were particularly good at predicting possible developments and the general direction of the story.

~ Nothing was revealed about Kylo’s style/method of governing, or whether he did anything to expand the First Order’s power as Rey predicted they would do in TLJ

~ Palpatine’s return could have been set up better

~ The symbolism and significance of Kylo killing his abuser is changed, if not completely ruined, since Snoke was Palpatine’s puppet, and Kylo seems to enter Palpatine’s service after learning that he was the one who manipulated him throughout his life. Maybe Kylo thought if he refused he wouldn’t be able to get away alive?

~ Palpatine’s plans are as confusing as ever. Just how much he controlled, what he was aware of, and what his true intentions were is unclear. In particular,  I’m confused about the fact that Palpatine made Snoke, who seemed ignorant of Rey’s origins and told Kylo to kill her, and the fact that Palpatine told Kylo to kill Rey when it turned out he wanted her to come and kill him. Were Snoke and/or Palpatine using reverse psychology in giving Kylo those orders?

~ Palpatine probably had the means to prolong and/or restore Padme’s life the whole time Vader was trying to find a way to do so

~  It is unclear whether Rey ever told anyone about her bond with Kylo or how he killed Snoke (which is pretty relevant information for the Resistance).

~  It’s unclear whether Rey and Kyko have seen or felt each other through the Force at all in the past year. Each movie shows several Force bond connections in a short period of time (one or two days each), and that would add up to a lot in a year, so I’m guessing they didn’t have any for that interim. It seems that although Rey closed the door, Kylo opens it. I don’t really like what that implies.

~ The beginning revealed so much and moved from one set of characters to another so quickly that I wondered whether the story was going to continue following the hero/heroine’s journey(s). Eventually it did, but it felt like the strangest beginning for a Star Wars movie, especially compared to the brilliant opening sequence of The Force Awakens.

~ Rey and Poe’s bickering was fun to watch

~ They did pretty well using those bits of Carrie Fisher footage and making Leia’s death play a role in the story. I’m sure if Fisher were still alive they would have had more justice for Leia.

~ I wish Rose had played a bigger part in the story, and that her relationships with other characters had been clarified and explored more.

~ I wish Ben had interacted with other members of the Resistance. He and Finn had so many parallels in their arcs, and the two of them actually had a couple scenes together, but they were always distant, with Finn watching as Rey interacted with Ben.

~ What was Finn going to tell Rey? What was their relationship about when it came down to it? They had such a wonderful dynamic and intertwined arcs in The Force Awakens, but in this installment it felt like they were running parallel to each other.

~ Giving Poe a shady past as a spice smuggler contradicts his canon backstory revealed in Before the Awakening by Greg Rucka.

~ Hux’s death was disappointingly anticlimactic. Seemed like a waste of his character. I’m not sure how I feel about the twist of him being the spy. He seemed so much less the crazed man who fired Starkiller or the calculating menace who considered killing an unconscious Kylo. Before TROS, Hux’s motivations seemed more political and ideological, a contrast to Kylo’s motives which seemed personal.

~ In what capacity did Pryce serve Palpatine in the previous war?

~ The fact that Rey is a Palpatine raises all kinds of questions about her family. There could be a whole trilogy about what kind of relationship Sheev and his child had. I wonder if the mother of his child was Mara Jade or someone like her who worked closely with him. But the mention of cloning and other strange techniques for making or passing on life makes me wonder if his child was even “natural” or somehow made.

~ Rey’s Dark Side heritage makes her affinity with the light side even more ironic and miraculous. Or maybe the irony is that someone as dark as Palpatine could come from such an idyllic utopia as Naboo. Maybe they are trying to show that it is our choices, not our origins, that define us.

~ The fact that Rey is descended from a powerful established character takes away from the idea that Rey represented for me and many others, that a great person can come from humble, unimportant origins.

~ Finn’s arc was opposite of predicted stormtrooper rebellion. The stormtrooper paradox still holds.

~ The hunt for Sith clues doesn’t make sense. It makes even less sense than the search for Luke in TFA, which was full of holes and unexplained coincidences.

~ The way Ben stands on the Death Star looking out at the horizon was 100% Byronic hero, but also similar to Luke’s posture when looking at the Tatooine suns.

~ Seeing Kylo talking to Han and Rey talking to Luke underscored how Kylo and Rey are co-protagonists.

~ How long did Ben stay at the Death Star ruins contemplating his and Rey’s situation? Apparently long enough for Rey to go to Ahch-To, talk to Luke, and go to Exegol, because he arrives there later than her. Time and distance in these movies have never made much sense, but I wonder if there might be some deleted scenes involving Kylo at this point. Did he realize he had lost control of the First Order? Did he ever think about ordering them not to follow Palpatine?

~ Regarding minor pilot characters: Happy to see Wedge Antilles back, sad to see Snap Wexley die.

~ Poe could have had better resolution for his arc as an emerging leader

~ Finn tries once again to sacrifice himself despite what Rose said to him after he tried to do that in TLJ. (While I don’t think it was necessary, Ben’s death was in keeping with her words because he died to save what he loved.)

~ We finally got a Reylo music theme! If I’m not mistaken, it had the Force theme sort of underlying it but there were other things going on too. I look forward to hearing the What the Force podcast’s discussion on this.

~ Rose was right that they would win by “Not fighting what we hate. Saving what we love.” Rey refused to even hate Palpatine. Ben came to save Rey and that enabled her to save everyone else.

~ My favorite moments of each sequel involve Rey, Ben, and a light saber passing between them.

~ Everything that was said to Rey and Ben about home, family, coming home, coming back ... it was all leading up to their teaming up. Palpatine was wrong when he said he was Rey’s only family. Ben became her family, and that was part of the reason why she took his family name. Whoever wrote the caption “The belonging you seek is in Ben Solo’s arms” was right.

~ We still don’t know what, if any, ideology Ben held, how he felt about political power and different forms of government. That pretty much reinforces my belief that for him this has never been about politics, it’s all been personal for him.

~  Ben’s death is problematic if he is supposed to represent people who have been abused and made poor life choices. It’s a beautiful sacrifice, but did Rey really have to die and necessitate it? She could have been mortally wounded, and he could have healed her without dying himself.

~ If passing his life force to Rey cost his life, Ben should have died before Rey kissed him.

~ Ben’s death is tragic, but not technically a tragedy in the literary sense, because it’s not about learning how to avoid making mistakes like his. For all his faults (narcissism, anger that manifests in violence), Ben didn’t have a particular fatal flaw. He fell because he was a victim of circumstances and forces beyond his control. He died saving the woman he loved, which sounds like a good thing.

~ I’m surprised the Lars homestead was still standing after it seemed to have burned to ash in A New Hope, and I find it difficult to believe that on a planet like Tatooine someone else would not have claimed it.

~ The title refers to both Ben and Rey, since Rey becomes a Skywalker

~ From a certain point of view, Reylos and Rey Skywalkers were both right, and both wrong.

~ Why didn’t Ben become a Force ghost like Luke and Leia? Can he become one in the future? I find the matter of whether a Jedi/Force-user leaves behind their physical body or fades away to become one with the Force, and whether they become capable of manifesting as a ghost, sketchy and inconsistent.

~ What is Rey going to do now? Was she moving into the Lars homestead? Will she raise a family of her own? I think it unlikely that she would fall in love with anyone as deeply as she did with Kylo, and I think she might be hesitant to have biological children who would inherit her (Palpatine) Force abilities, but I can picture her adopting and/or mentoring children.

~ The theme of IX seems to be “You’re not alone,” the way 8’s was “Failure is the greatest teacher.” It is the lesson Rey, Finn, Poe, and Ben each learn. But in the end Rey does seem alone.

~ Rey’s greatest fears were being alone and being insignificant. Is the takeaway supposed to be that she is okay with being alone? That would go against the movie’s overarching theme. Similarly, Star Wars is about family, and while that theme definitely comes through, it would have been so well punctuated if the story ended with the main characters starting families.

~ Nothing was resolved regarding the government(s) of the galaxy. Is it in a state of anarchy now? Were they able to learn from the mistakes of the past two republics?

~ Did Rey, Ben, the Jedi, and/or the Resistance bring balance to the Force? Is the corresponding rise and fall of the light and dark finally over? Will this peace last? Will Rey be the last Jedi or will she pass on their legacy?

~ What was the point of this trilogy as a whole? What message are we supposed to take away from it? Is it still a Prodigal Son type of story?

Now I’m going to spend time thinking about how this will impact my fan fiction and my essays on the Christian themes of the Star Wars sequel trilogy. I will look forward to reading the (apparently expanded edition) novelization and having good quality screenshots and one more Shakespearean parody by Ian Doescher.

#The Rise of Skywalker spoilers