#no i couldn't do anything to fix it

[uncanny-tranny]

Two things that are simultaneously true:

1. Gender and sexuality are complex and can be fluid. An identity isn't always fixed and can change with time for many reasons

2. It is not acceptable to force others to change their gender or sexuality and the mantra that they (queer people) can change if they only "try hard" is both cruel and homophobia and/or transphobia

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #homophobia #homophobia tw #transphobia #transphobia tw #when i first came out as trans i was told this story about how my dad's therapist had a lesbian client with homophobic parents... #...how her parents were *so close* to coming to terms with her lesbianism and she got a boyfriend and look! she changed so why couldn't you! #the thing that was so fucked up about that story was that it was presented as 'oh you don't know who you are! you'll change!' #and i was never listened to until i went 'so far' in my transness that changing was impractical... #...it never enforced that my sense of self is dynamic but that who i was is something to be 'fixed' #i think a lot of queer people are hostile to the idea of gender/sexuality fluidity because it's framed in such a way... #...that tells them that their queerness will eventually be 'cured'... #...so any notion of 'identity can be fluid' reads like 'your queerness is a flaw and a horrible thing'... #...but that's not the solution to people whose identity has fluctuated and changed... #...it isn't their fault that queerphobes latched onto them as 'case studies' to prove that queerness is curable... #...a queerphobe would latch onto ANYTHING in order to prevent you from living... #...'oh lesbians married men in order to protect themselves? why can't you do that?! why must you insist on marrying a woman?!'... #...that's an example of how they'd just latch onto something else if 'identity is dynamic' didn't exist #the context of 'identity is dynamic' is often one of the most important factors in if it is meant as queer-afirming or not ime

[mattodore]

finally updated my game for growing together and the first thing i did when i opened cas was make this guy... say hi to rajan 👋

#river dipping #my sims #simblr #ts4 #ts4 edit #basically mia for two days bc i was updating my game and cc hunting for infants and fixing mods and i come back w/ this #WHO is he? you ask #...............................idk just some guy kdjfngsjdnkjnsdgk #literally no refs no aesthetic board just made this guy from scratch after i realized i forgot to update stand still in cas #which meant the infants were all glitched and i couldn't do anything with them #like i was annoyed so i just started fucking around in cas instead of fixing the problem jfgkdjhg #i've fixed it now tho (i think) so i'm loading the game back up as we speak!!!! #i actually wanted to check on some sweaters i recolored and then i'm gonna make a baby for the sole purpose of putting them in theo's arms #>:) #also yea i went through the trouble of updating everything knowing that horses drops soon <3 #i'll just wait another four months to update again 😁 #...........also seriously this is just some guy i don't really have anything i need him for #i gave him outfits for all the categories too like....... why? idk but he was fun to dress #i'll probably throw him in either attilio's legacy gameplay (...pour one out for our forgotten men) or the new !! casual oc save #ALSOOOO need to edit the sim lush made me so it suits my sim style more and i'll put the sim in my saves too #i'll probably bring her back out whenever i DO update to horses kdjnhkjgnh i think her and attilio could be ranchers together

[stergeon]

at some point i will figure out how to write the post-canon, post-empire edelgard autonomy fic of my dreams. it just feels like a very big task and maybe like with playing the dane, i’m simply not old and traumatized enough to manage it yet.

but my vision is thus: it’s set years (realistically, decades) after the end of crimson flower, when everything has gone as right as it can possibly go. fódlan is thriving. the social reforms have taken effect. the nobility system is nearly eliminated, if not entirely so, with titles made merely symbolic. social mobility, welfare, and prosperity are high. there’s an explosion in arts and culture and technology. brigid and duscur have gained independence; relations with sreng and almyra are much improved; heck, maybe they've even figured it out with dagda. in my most idealistic version, leicester and faerghus would eventually be ceded back to become autonomous regions, essentially disbanding the adrestian empire. rule is no longer hereditary, but merit-based. there's a roadmap for the future, and everything is on track—and more than that, people at all points on the power spectrum have already seen it bear fruit. with or without edelgard, it will be pursued. there's buy-in. they believe.

of course, it's not perfect—nothing can be—but edelgard's vision has been fulfilled. the people are empowered. humanity is free. fódlan has healed.

and somehow, she's had enough time to resolve her goals outside of politics, too. those who slither in the dark have been eradicated. edelgard and lysithea's second crests have been successfully removed, allowing them to live if not full lives, then substantially longer ones than they would have with their twin crests intact. who knows—maybe she finally gets around to having that wedding.

point for point, every item listed in edelgard's manifesto has been checked off. the ghosts of her past have been laid to rest. she can finally take off her crown. she can finally pursue the quiet, humble life she's wanted for so long. she can finally breathe.

... but can she?

edelgard is nothing if not driven. her intelligence, vision, and sheer willpower allowed her to plan and execute a revolution against two countries and the most powerful institution on the continent, all while she was still a teenager. as royalty, her life was never truly hers even before she became heir to the adrestian throne, with all the additional baggage of survivor's guilt and the desire for vengeance and her need to ensure nothing that happened to her can ever happen to anyone else, ever again.

so what happens when that drive has no outlet? what happens when someone who has been constantly in motion, constantly working and planning and preparing every spare second of every day since she was fourteen years old, suddenly has to stand still? what happens when someone whose hands have been bound for so long—first literally in the dungeons of enbarr, then by the weight and responsibilities of her crown—is set free?

being edelgard, she would step away from the throne, no matter how hard it was for her to give up control. she's always been focused on the endgame, and she knows that if she doesn't let go, she'll be setting the wrong tone for fódlan's future. she's too devoted to that endgame to cling to power much longer than she needs to, though i could see her making some excuses and trying to iron out just a few more things to buy herself some more time to mentally prepare before she's done for good.

but who would she be then? who is the woman without the crown? what becomes of a machine once it is no longer needed, when it has made itself obsolete? what about when that machine is a person with legs and arms and an innate unwillingness to gather dust on a shelf?

what happens when you get everything you want? what happens when all your wanting has been for others to thrive, and now you have to want only for yourself? how do you discover who you are when you've spent decades being everything for everyone else? how do you find meaning again? how do you find purpose?

after a lifetime of devotion and passion and movement, how do you learn to sit with yourself, and be quiet, and be still?

gosh, i would love to meet her. i would love to pick her brain. but boy, i do not envy the work that girl has to do.

#sterge.rtf #fire emblem #fe3h #edelgard von hresvelg #realistically edelgard is not getting all of this done in her lifetime. but that wouldn't keep her from stepping away anyway #'cause a funny thing happened to edelgard during the crimson flower route: she learned to have faith again. #so even if she couldn't check every box and fix every societal ill she'd still be able to pass the crown to the next ruler. #maybe not without fear. but with confidence. with optimism. with the belief that she's leaving the world better than she found it. #she'd have faith in her people. faith in the future. faith in the groundwork she's laid. faith in the systems she's put in place. #faith that her vision will be carried out with or without her. #and that faith would allow her to eventually let go. #i so love edelgard pulling a george washington and saying nah i'm good on power. peace #though unfortunately i could also see her pulling a teddy roosevelt #and saying nah i'm good on power. peace. wait what are you doing. you're ruining it. you're bungling everything. i can't believe this #and making several (failed and increasingly insane) attempts to get back into politics #who is the taft to edelgard's ted tho. i don't want to do ferdinand the disservice of saying it's him even though i think it's very funny. #it's literally the opposite of his character as taft notoriously sniffed roosevelt's farts for a long time #until he finally pulled his head out of the guy's ass and realized there are other smells. such as the sewer. and garbage. #smells which he pursued quite happily much to ol ted's chagrin #meanwhile ferdinand does not think anything of edelgard's ass except that his is definitely better-looking than hers #(he's wrong on so many levels but you try telling the guy that) #in fact ferdinand has always taken great joy in pointing out all the things that smell better than edelgard does #which gives him an instant up on mr Take-Advice-From-Theodore #all this to say i think ferdinand von aegir would have been a much better president than william howard taft. that's just my opinion. #i'm getting off the rails in these tags idk what's wrong with me #sorry for equating your blorbos to long-dead american politicians everyone. i know this is a cardinal sin #also please don't take this to mean i think positively of washington or roosevelt or taft or whatever. #i hate all dead old white guys who ever held a modicum of power #i just had a hyperfixation on american presidents when i was in grade school and unfortunately now my brain works like this

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

oh no sorry you had a bad day. hope it gets better soon

have a cookie 🍪

(Thank you! I am doing much better today!

#ooc post #Bean's gonna rant in the tags for a sec please excuse me #a maintenance guy was supposed to come and fix the boiler yesterday but he never showed so I waited around all day and stressed myself out! #it's just extra frustrating bc the boiler's been broken for nearly a year and finally when we get someone to fix it they don't show!!! #not a phone call or anything!!! #so I have no idea when they're coming or even if anyone is coming!!! #and the werewolf ask was just the cherry on top of my annoyance #but I am doing much better I have eaten and drank and etc #and I can finally draw since I couldn't work much yesterday #I drew the Noisey beasts and that was about it #I gotta finish some unrelated things and then update time #but maybe a wittle ooc to warm up hehe

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident #I straight up forgot #and just didn't show up to the session #my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked #I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up #my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january #I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted #like mentally and spiritually #all the time #my memory and sense of time are both shit #my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason?? #I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me #I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir #and yet #idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason #fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly #due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me #aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory #it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever #like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype #but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here #doing whatever this is #maybe I should drive out to the coast #maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long #I mean it can't make me worse #I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark #everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone

[tankycinna]

Jake's actual pronouns are fuck-around/find-out, but that doesn't fit on a pin.

#i realized i didnt do a pride drawing this month and RUSHED to fix that #these are just my headcanons btw #i tried to research if they had canon identities but couldn't find anything so i HOPE I'm not erasing anyone identities #moon knight #jake lockley #steven grant #marc spector #moon knight fanart #pride 2022 #bisexual #pansexual #demiboy #tank art

[unxpctedlygreat]

bad coughing fits again 😭 all this because she came for the holidays while sick and didn't bother trying to keep her sickness to herself

the past few days had seemed ok, i dont get why it's gotten back to this, it's so frustrating because i cant control it!!!!!

#morgane's talking alone #got a doc appointment tomorrow evening but what if he just tells me it's nothing 😭 #the bad fits are really inconvenient and truly do prevent me from doing anything #for like 5-10 minutes all i can do is cough and then try to recover/fix myself up #last september i already had these coughing fits and it usually meant at least once a day i couldn't work at all for 10min #(and then the whole floor at work got worried bc of the noise i was making lmao) #anyway i cant prove she really had a cold before coming to our home but she 'fell sick' less than 12 hours after arriving #(and then proceeded to sprawl everywhere and sit next to us like it's nothing and ugghh) #(she'll be sick at best for 4 days while if it's like last time i'll be sick for a month lmao)

[red-hemlock]

So, Uh-...

(I JUST-... I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY, HONESTLY. One day life decides to drop-kick you in the teeth, and completely piledrive your will to write into the Shadow Realm; and then the next moment you're replaying Arkham Knight on a whim, and River just RISES from the grave like a belated Halloween zombie to go: "Lol hey, you remember my blog from years ago? Git to it, dear."

I don't know how many of you fine folks are still around after all this time, or if life will allow me to be as active on here as I was in the heyday, but if you're out there and still want to write with this flaky loser... I've come back. 8'3

I still need to do some serious clean-up and updates on here tough, before I start tackling the old asks and replies in my drafts and maybe do a starter call... Some of them are makin' me emotional re-reading them, so I sure hope it's okay if we continue them!

AND THE MESSAGES. I don't deserve you guys, I sure missed y'all. <8'D <3 )

#outof'lock #(I also have to remember how to use this hellsite like damn.) #(I'M JUST-... STARING AT THE DASHBOARD LIKE 'WAT DO'. #(WAT ARE THESE FIREBALLS ON STUFF NOW. AND THESE LABEL THINGS.) #(I'M SHOOKETH. PLEASE BEAR WITH ANY WEIRDNESS AND MIS-POSTS THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO AND FIX. T_T) #(I also had to completely change the theme for Riv's blog because her old one went kaput and I couldn't fix anything until I fixed THAT so) #(It's a bit more minimalist than the last one but I kinda like it??? At least I was able to update the music list finally haha. ^_^;;; )

[cockworkangels]

Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.

for my celebration: day 1: free will

tap for quality !! redraw of this art from a year ago

#this almost killed me rip i thought it was going to be fun and easy but for some reason i couldn't figure out how to do anything. but it's #done so yay i guess. #it's still not great but idk how to fix it so. #also i didn't even realise the art this is a redraw of is exactly one year old today. one year of progress!!! pretty cool to see i guess #supernatural #spn #castiel #spn fanart #supernatural fanart #castiel fanart #my art #digital art #dualityofcastiel1k

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ever sit like a corpse in your own body? #im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we #deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to #give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway. #who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in #the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when #projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing #dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will #ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do #something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r #stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even #then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a #broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what? #lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything #done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i #think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with #thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno #whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is #hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse #but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday #unrelated

[todayisafridaynight]

character profiles for a minedai doujin i’ll never make

colored version under cut:

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 3 #yakuza series #yakuza 3 #yoshitaka mine #daigo dojima #minedai #snap sketches #usually i'd do that thing where i crop their profiles individually so it's easier to zoom in on #but... im lazy.....forgive me... #im meh bout these tbh ngl- guess i'll just have to make that doujin so i have an excuse to do these better haha #anyways i had to include the 'respects as a man' thing that's so funny i couldn't exclude it #this also functions as a color palette for me so thats nice #the amount of times i adjust their colors is Not A Lot but it's more than id like so hopefully i wont have to fix them anymore #uhhh am i forgetting anything...... #i mean other than the fact i always say i'll make a doujin for whatever ship my brain's metling over but i never do #i got nothin else to say :) ok goodnight i have stuff to do later oh god

[fortyfive-forty]

.

#finally made progress on my fic!!! and boy. #it's incredible how the human brain/body works sometimes #i didn't realize how much stress i was carrying about so many different things #in so many sectors of my life #i've taken care of maybe 85% or so of them #at the beginning of the week (or even 48 hours ago) that was closer to 20% or 30% #so huge amount of progress #but because of all this stress i was finding it so fucking hard to write or be creative to any significant capacity #and i kept trying to edit this chapter and just being completely unable to write it #not even because of writers block or anything i think i was just so wound up i couldn't make the words happen properly #in the way i wanted them to #and i couldn't figure out why the whole chapter structure just felt wrong #i knew something needed to be deleted and the timeline was off and and and #but i couldn't figure any of it out #anyways #i took care of all these tasks this week #i sat down after not touching this fix for maybe a week and a half #and i just wrote and fixed the issues in maybe 30 minutes #wow #there's still more to do but the fact that it flowed finally in the way it usually does...🥹 #finally finally finally!!! #bc i love making shit about things that i like more than almost anything #and i love sharing the shit that i make #and i think i've been lacking that for a bit because i haven't been able to write #honestly i think that's why i've taken up gif making a bit #because it gives a similar feeling of creation and then sharing with others #even if its maybe not as long-term laborious it still takes effort and creativity #but easier to do when i don't have time to spare but just feel the need to make make make #but anyways #i'm just happy i finally feel good enough to write

[collar-shocked]

//Great time to remind everyone IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, YOU SHOULD BE NOWHERE NEAR HERE. You're only a kid for so long, you get to be an adult forever. MAKE IT LAST. FRIGGIN' WAIT TO ENGAGE IN CONTENT LIKE THIS.

//No one can protect you if you refuse to let them. These games and this fandom and content have 18+ tags on them for a REASON, and it's to PROTECT YOU. You're not cool, you're not edgy, you're not special, you're not grown up for ignoring warning signs that are set there to KEEP YOU FROM HARM, you're just an idiot for exposing yourself to that ON PURPOSE.

#//Someone liked one of my posts #//Who PROUDLY had “Minor!” in their bio #//Blocked them IMMEDIATELY but still.... Wth? #//Sorry if this is harsh but i just know in my heart that if teenage me came across BTD #//I would have loved it !!! it also would have messed me up #//I know this cause it happened already !! i was into MLP in the 2010's and lord knows how tragic THAT fandom was #//i have also ALWAYS been attracted to guro. especially after exposing myself to rotten dot com at a very young age online #//it took me Y E A R S to fix myself and get comfortable in my own skin again #//took me Y E A R S to believe im not a freak for enjoying the things i do #//i understand it and its NOT a black and white detail. its COMPLEX and CONFUSING and needs your understanding #//But teenage me didn't know that. She wasn't aware and couldn't figure it out for a LONG long time. #//and even without the gore and shock sites- the MLP fandom was BOOMING with adults who didnt know how to behave #//That was a whole separate journey for me!!!! #//P L E A S E just live your childhood. enjoy your youth. Strade isn't going anywhere. Come back later when you can really think about- #-W H Y you like these games. #//I am SUPER frustrated. #//Not to trauma dump or anything but this kind of media ISN'T NORMAL TO CONSUME AS A CHILD #//i only got lucky. it was just luck.

[twilightarcade]

meow :3

color refs for me 🔥🔥🔥🔥

nevaeh thompson, she/he - secretary but not in a sexy way more of a bit of a loser way. They’re all losers

Jacob “”””””jake””””” Mulligan, he/they - always put a particular amount of spiteful emphasis on his nickname being jake if you do mention it, unless you just want to be normal about it

going to let you in on a little secret everyone here really uses any pronouns because like. That’s not my job. Make ur own pronouns dude. But also they CANT so I’m sitting here assigning arbitrary pronouns to them

#notwordswordstag #caustic corp #this pose was originally for a bigger piece I doubt you’ll see but if you do then this drawing doesn’t exist ok? #you may notice they all have slightly different tints of white it doesn’t really mean anything unless you make it which you can #but it’s mainly what goes with their design #iris' white is literally off magenta and I'm not really sure how that happened #they all end up either red or blue and it's super noticeable when they're standing next to eachother and I'm going to try to remedy this in #the future #but also it's not too big of a big deal because 90% of the time I go a bit off ref anyways #their EARINGS' colors however are chosen with a tiny bit more care #idk why this is captioned meow but it's staying <3 #I need to start drawing at a reasonable brightness because I swear to you nevaehs face was near unreadable as I was drawing this and I fel #felt bad because I couldnt see what was going on but couldn't fix that #looking at it again it's not nearly that bad #I also neglected to color some of the outlines because they looked about the same color and I figured coloring them wouldn't make much of #a difference but I was WRONG like a fool but it doesn't effect the drawing as a while much #I didn't make the upper half of jacobs arm defined but that's just a him problem I think. I'm not responsible for his arm (I am) #eventually I'll do a wip dump and you'll get to look at all the art that's never getting finished but would be pretty cool if it did #she's holding her clipboard close to her chest which is something I changed from the original because she was #going to hold it behind her back but you couldn't see it then. rude. #specifically with the papers facing away from her

[dengswei]

Sky being all cuddly with Jao in Secret Crush on You (2022) episode twelve

#skyjao #secret crush on you the series #asiandramanet #asianlgbtqdrama #dailyasiandramas #asianlgbtqdramas #scoy #scoy the series #secret crush on you #heng asavarid #surprise pittikorn #thdramaedit #scoyedit #skyjaoedit #mine | all #mine | gifs #thai drama #i really love this look for sky #sorry for how jao looks in some of these gifs i couldn't do anything to fix it #the led sign in the bg i h8 u

[inevitablestars]

i hate being the way i am why the fuck can't i fix it

#putting this in the tags bc it's easier to be vulnerable here #but also #tw ed #things have not been good recently and i don't know why it got bad again but it did and i've been trying so god damn hard and just like #failing. #but i ordered myself dinner tonight because i couldn't get myself to cook even tho making food is usually easier because i know what i like #but i just couldn't put in the effort and it's been too long that i can't keep letting myself do this and i can't live off of #the piece of toast and maybe a banana or maybe some other small thing each day like i can't do that #so i got a full meal but of soemthing i know i like and haven't ruined for myself lately and it was good! #i enjoyed it! like yummy tasty sat here and enjoyed it! i didn't finish it but i had about half of it and that's good #but now my stomach hurts and my chest hurts and it doesn't feel any better than before i ate and i could have just like not #and that's not good either and i Know that! i just wish i could stop doing this #bc this now derails my night and didn't fix anything but i've spent money on ordering delivery and now i feel bad about that too #like what the fuck. why do i do this why am i like this #will be deleting this so soon i just needed to put this somewhere im sorry if anyone reads this #a few more just in case -> #tw food #tw eating