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#no i will not be working on this anymore i’m too tired
polaroidpascal · 1 day
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let me || frankie morales
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AO3 || MASTERLIST
pairing : frankie morales x f!reader
summary : after two weeks of frankie coming home knocking on death’s door from exhaustion, you decide to give him a break.
tags : fluff !!, no use of y/n, you taking care of frankie, very small nods to sex, undressing, showering together, cuddling, short and sweet glimpse into domestic life with frankie 🥹
WC : ~1.8k
a/n : i’ve never written pure fluff before, but the frankie brainrot has reached an all-time high and i desperately need to take care of this man. hope you like this little slice of domestic life with frankie 🫶 (not beta read or proofread much, just psa!)
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You’re cozied up on your recliner reading a book in the soft light from your lamp when Frankie finally comes home from work.
He opens the door gently, tiredly. He never knows if you’re going to be asleep or not, so he errs on the side of caution just in case. Plus, he’s too exhausted to make more noise anyway.
You watch him from the corner as he sets down his keys. They clink against the ceramic dish that he made for you forever ago after you had moved in together. He sets down his backpack opting to unpack it tomorrow and hangs up his hat, running his hand and fingers through his curls with a long, tired sigh before he kicks off his boots.
He turns around to see you in your pajamas wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, book in hand, the lamp illuminating you from behind like an angel descending from heaven.
No amount of exhaustion can keep the tired smile from blooming across his face. “Hey, baby,” he says, his hand now rubbing the back of his neck to soothe the sore muscles there.
“Hi, love,” you say back sweetly. “How was work?”
He answers with another sigh and tired eyes, his smile fading just a bit remembering the absolutely packed couple of weeks he’s had. “It was alright, just tired.”
Frankie has come home beyond exhausted every day for the past two weeks. The first few nights, you were already asleep by the time he came home, unable to keep your eyes open any longer to wait for him. You had sent him a text telling him to wake you up when he got home, but of course your sweet boyfriend would never do that, not when you look so peaceful in your sleep.
One night, you happened to be awake when he came home, much to his surprise. He tried to play off how drained he was, bringing you in for a hug that swallowed you whole in his broad figure, whisking you off to your bedroom to try and ignore his exhaustion. But you could see it in his eyes from the moment he walked in that he was barely hanging on, and he definitely slept hard that night.
After that, you made sure you were up every night long enough to catch him walking through the door, picking up a new novel series to pass the time while you waited.
You rise from the recliner and shuffle over to Frankie in your fuzzy socks and his t-shirt loosely fitting your frame, the wide neckline exposing your collarbones. “You look tired, Frankie. And I’m not saying that in a mean way.”
He takes you in his arms and kisses the top of your head breathing another sigh, like he’s relearning how to breathe after being so busy all day. “I know, baby.”
You stay wrapped in each other's arms for a minute, Frankie’s head resting atop your own. His dead weight grows each second that passes and you let him stay until you can’t hold him up anymore. You rub and pat his back gently before you whisper, “Why don’t we go take a shower, hm?” looking up when he lifts his head again.
He looks back at you with his big, brown, pouty eyes and mumbles, “But you’re already in your pajamas…”
“I know,” you nod, reaching your hand up to cup his cheek and glancing across his face at his tired and beautiful features. “You’re always taking care of me. Can you let me take care of you this time?”
His eyes are still pouting and nearly half closed now as he pauses, then gently nods, letting you lead him to your bedroom.
He stands in the middle of the room reaching down to the hem of his shirt to undress but your hands stop him. He looks at you confused.
“Let me,” you say. He has no protests.
He watches you lift his shirt exposing his stomach and chest, raising his arms so you can slip it over his head. You toss it to the side while Frankie reaches down to take his socks off. Your hands move down to his belt, slipping it out of the loops of his jeans. It clinks to the floor and you unbutton his pants, slipping them down with his underwear. He watches you the whole time, stepping out when you reach the bottom before you stand up again.
When you meet his gaze, the love radiating from his eyes almost makes your heart burst from your chest. You smile gently at him, reaching up to give him a soft kiss before leading him to the shower.
You run the water warm, more on the hot side, and start to undress yourself. Frankie watches you strip, the way your shoulder blades move as you pull your shirt over your head and unhook your bra. The way your spine flexes as you reach down to pull your pants off and shimmy out of them. How angelically perfect the curves of your body look.
You turn around to look at him and see tears welling in his eyes.
Immediately, your heart drops and you rush to cup his face in your hands. “Oh, Frankie, what’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing, nothing, I just…” He looks your face up and down examining all the features he finds so beautiful and takes a breath. “I love you so much,” he says, the end of his sentence getting quiet, tapering off choked in emotion.
You stare at the gorgeous boy in front of you, exhausted from his hard work, so full of emotion that he’s brought to tears, and you feel your own eyes start to sting. All you can do is hug him and bury your face into his chest, his warm, soft skin pressed against you as your arms clasp around him. “I love you too, Frankie.”
You feel his breath get a little quicker as he tries to keep himself in check, the fight against his tears getting harder and harder. You pull back and wipe away a few strays that started rolling down his cheeks before pulling him into the shower.
You wash Frankie head to toe helping him clean the day off. He leans down some so you can wash his hair, making sure to give his scalp a little massage while you suds up his curls. His eyes close and he softly hums as your fingers card through each strand. He loves when you play with his hair.
You gently wash his back, watching the soap slowly roll down his body as you rub circles into his skin. The muscles look tight, flexing some just with the slow breaths he’s taking. You reach up and dig your thumbs into the visible knots you see near the base of his neck where he was rubbing before. His head drops forward a bit, a soft groan leaving his lips at the relief.
You turn him around and wash his chest, watching the soapy water cascade down his pecs and stomach.
He watches you as best he can, wanting to savor every second, and he can’t help but close his eyes at the soothing feeling of the warm water flowing across his skin… the soap erasing the dirt from the day… and most importantly of all, your feather-light, loving touch behind every movement.
You rinse his chest a little and give him a soft kiss to his sternum, handing him the sponge to wash the rest of his body while you wash your own.
He silently watches you move, feeling himself get emotional again thinking about how lucky he feels to have you. That you’d do this for him. That you care so much about him. The love in his heart threatens to burst at the seams.
When you’re both done, Frankie grabs your hips and carefully spins you around before leaning down for a kiss. A kiss that’s worth a million words all condensed into one little action. A kiss that screams I love you, endlessly and eternally.
You stay under the shower head, lips locked with the silent words of affection being exchanged. You only think to get out when you feel the water starting to run cold.
When you get out, you loosely wrap a towel around yourself before grabbing another to dry off Frankie. You rub his hair and his face, draping it around his shoulders and tip-toeing up to kiss his nose before you finish drying yourself off.
You slip back into your pajamas and Frankie puts on his sweatpants before you both climb into bed together. Frankie immediately plops down on his side of the bed, lying on his back and draping his arms over his eyes as he sighs deep, finally comfortable after the long, long day he’s had.
He feels you crawl into bed with him, your weight shifting the mattress around him as you climb on top of him, legs straddled over his sides.
He moves his arms to look up at you staring at his chest tracing circles onto his skin. His hands rest on the tops of your thighs and he rests his head back on his pillow, but you swear you can feel his entire energy shift.
“You okay?” you ask, resting your palms on his skin.
“I…” he starts, looking up at you with sad eyes. “I love you so much, you know that… I’m just… I’m really tired, baby. I don’t know if I can—“
“Frankie,” you cut him off. “I’m not in the mood either.”
He looks at you with his pouty doe eyes again. “You’re not?”
“No,” you assure him. “I just wanted to look at you. How pretty you are. How lucky I am to have you.”
Frankie’s chest gets tight, the tears stinging in his eyes again as he wonders what he could have possibly done to deserve someone like you. Who loves him unconditionally. Who takes care of him so tenderly. Who is straddled on top of him just because she wants to look at him.
Before you can catch his eyes getting redder, he pulls you down to lay by his side, cradling you in his arms and kissing the top of your head. “It’s me who’s lucky to have you, amor.”
You hum and settle into his embrace, inhaling his clean scent and relaxing against his soft skin. Just as you’re starting to drift off, you hear a faint mumble, “Thank you.”
And you don’t even need to respond. You just press your body closer somehow, planting a kiss to his chin before nuzzling into his neck.
And it’s the only answer Frankie needs.
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my-roman-empiree · 2 days
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A TWIST OF FATE (R.R one shot)
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Pairing: Joe Anoa’i x Reader
Warning: Angst, Language, bad English
Word Count: 1.6k
Content: Joe is in love with his best friend and he finally confesses his feelings to her.
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My phone starts ringing loudly, startling me from the deep state of sleep i was in. With my eyes half open i reach for it and answer with a sleepy “hello” not even bothering to look at the caller id. “Don’t tell me you fell asleep again” i hear his deep voice groan on the other end of the line. My eyes widen when I realize who the voice belonged to, my best friend Joe. And i was supposed to be on my way to his house for lunch. “No, no i’m on my way there.” i lie obviously as i get out of bed and go through my wardrobe to pick an outfit. “Bullshit, i can hear you shuffling through your clothes. What the hell were you doing all night that got you this tired?” he asks with a teasing voice. I roll my eyes, too drowsy to give him a sarcastic answer. “I will be there in 5 minutes.” i say as i hang up, lying again since our houses have a 15 minutes distance. I decided to wear some sweatpants with a white t shirt and i put on a bit of make up to at least look presentable enough. I get my handbag and rush out of the house towards my car. Joe and I have been friends since high school and we have managed to make our friendship last for almost 20 years. But in the last few years we haven’t been able to meet up as often as we used to for our schedules never align. Both our jobs involve lots of traveling so whenever i would be in town he would be in another city and vice versa.
I knock on his front door, excited to finally see him after nearly 8 months. Joe opens the door with a big smile plastered on his face, his pearly white teeth on display. He pulls me in for a bear hug, his perfume instantly giving me a sense of familiarity. “God i’ve missed you so much” he whispers in my ear still not letting go of me, if anything he tightens the grip on my waist. “I’ve missed you too big guy but let me go now before i pass out.” i joke and he lets go with a small laugh. We make our way inside his house and head to the living room, taking a seat in the comfortable couch. I take in his appearance, he has more grey hairs now than the last time i saw him but it definitely suits him, they actually make him look sexier if that is possible. His physique was not as bulky as i remember, he is much leaner now. I can see his abs and muscles under his white tank top, looking as prominent as ever. “Look at you, you’re gettin old man” i tell him with a sly smile. Joe chuckles lightly “you know how things have been, stress has taken its toll on me.” I nod at his words in understatement. The divorce from his ex wife has been anything but easy, the process lasting for almost a year and a half. “But look at YOU tho, you look even more gorgeous than the last time i saw you.” he compliments with a slight smirk on his face. I can’t help but blush a little, he always has a way with words. But i know i look good tho, i have added some caramel highlights to my dark hair and i’ve been working out regularly for almost 5 months now. “Thank you! I’ve been trying to prioritize myself lately. Now tell me how’s life been treating you as a single man?” He sighs, clearly not over the whole ordeal “it took me a while to get used to it you know. But i’m good now, still not ready to date yet tho. And what about you? You still with that jerk?” I can’t help but laugh at his remark about my now ex boyfriend. “We aren’t together anymore. It turns out you were right all along, he was a cheating asshole so i called things off a while ago.” It was unavoidable for Joe to not feel happiness about the news. He wasn’t happy about the fact that he had cheated on her, no, that motherfucker better pray to not cross paths with him but he’s pleased she’s not wasting any more of her time with him. “Do you want me to track him down and beat his ass?” he asks her, seemingly joking but his words held some truth to them. “There’s no need to, i already did.” i say chuckling at his wide-eyed expression. “Hold on, you for real? You beat that fucker?” Joe asks, his voice filled with amusement. She was never the one who would choose violence in any type of situation, her strongest quality being communication which might be one of the reasons why their friendship lasted this long. I nod while laughing uncontrollably “i did. And I wasn’t even that mad when he told me he had been cheating on me, i already knew that from one of my friends. I just saw the opportunity and I took it.” Joe shakes his head while chuckling, she never fails to leave him in awe every damn time she opens her mouth.
As she complains about one of her colleagues at work while eating the sushi he ordered, Joe can’t help but stare at her beautiful facial features, her plump lips that slightly pout when she’s eating and her big round eyes that aren’t afraid to hold eye contact with his. But her full lips might be his favorite and all he can think about is how they would feel on his own lips, all over his body or wrapped around his co- he shakes his head trying to get the sinful impulses out of his head. But now the thoughts appear to be much more inevitable and Joe can feel himself getting aroused. If he hadn’t had these thoughts before he would have blamed them on the wine they were drinking.
“Joe?” I call his name trying to get his attention but his mind seems to wander somewhere else. “Joe?” i call him a bit louder this time and it does the trick as he finally snaps out of it “damn am i that boring? Where’s your mind at?” He contemplates what to say, should he tell her the truth: that he never saw her only as a friend, that every time he sees her his heart skips a beat, that he’s been looking for her in every woman he’s dated even in his ex wife. Joe wanted to curse her out for setting his standards so high that he felt like no women would fit, only her. He takes a deep breath before he begins to speak, what he’s about to say might ruin their friendship forever but he cannot hold it back anymore, having suppressed his feelings long enough. “Do you know the real reason why Alissa and I divorced?” he asks me and i look at him in confusion. “Because she fell out of love?” i cite the reason he told me back then, not meaning for it to come out as a question. “That’s partially true but i was the one who fell out of love.” he confesses with a serious look on his face. I don’t get it, why would he lie about this? Just as i’m about to speak he raises his hand, signaling that he’s not done talking. “In fact i don’t think i was ever in love with her, I tried to convince myself that i was tho. But the moment i was wishing, longing that it was you by my side instead of her, i knew my marriage was doomed. That was the moment I realized i’ve been in love with you the entire time.” My breath gets caught in my throat, my heart starts to beat so fast and loud that i can hear it and i’m sure he can too. I’m trying to form a single sentence but my mind has gone blank. How the hell did i never noticed? I always thought i knew him better than i know myself but it appears that everything has been a lie. How could i be so naive? “Joe, is this a joke?” i ask with a trembling voice after a minute or two, hoping he would say yes. He can’t throw 20 years of friendship out of the window like that, he can’t be that selfish. Joe shakes his head slowly “i’m not. And i know this might be shock-“ i don’t let him finish as i abruptly get up from the dining chair “Are you fucking serious?” i shout in his face “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you saying this shit to me now after so many years?” Joe doesn’t even flinch, he was probably excepting my reaction. But the hurt that flashed in his eyes was so evident that for a split second i felt my heart break for him. “Please sit down, lets talk this out. I’m not expecting anything in return from you at all, i just want you to listen to what I have to say. ” he pleads but i can’t stay in this house for a second longer, i’ve already heard enough. I feel like I’m suffocating and if i don’t get out of here i will collapse from the lack of oxygen. “Not now please” my voice cracks, tears are starting to form and it’s taking everything in me to stop them from falling “i really need to get out of here.” i say as i go to the living room to take my belongings. Joe doesn’t bother to follow her, anything he would do or say would make the situation worse. He fucked up so bad that he was sure he had lost her forever. Joe runs his shaky hands down his face in distress as he hears the front door slam shut behind her.
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Note: this is my very first one shot and i already have mixed feelings about it. And knowing me this will probably be taken down in a few days. Every comment and criticism is very much appreciated because i really wanna improve my writing so feel free ❤️
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kingtomura · 13 hours
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Deja Vu | 2 | The Girl Who Cried Wolf
summary: Your best friend died years ago. He went up in flames until there was nothing left — so why does it feel like you can still see him sometimes? content: touya todoroki x female reader, childhood friends au, reader has a quirk, time skipping, flashbacks, fluff, heavy angst, soft touya, hurt/comfort, tragedy, virginity loss, vaginal fingering, piv, smut with feelings, mdni wc: 9.2k | Prev | Chapter 3 | m. list | read on ao3
You’ve never been good at hide-and-seek. 
“Touya,” you yell into the crisp air of the forest, “this isn’t funny!” You’ve been at this for what feels like forever and it’s just not working. 
You can’t find him. 
The wind was chilling you to the bone and it was almost dinner time. This was becoming more and more pointless as the minutes ticked by. You just wanted to find him so you both could go eat. 
“Okay, well if you’re not gonna come out then I don’t wanna play anymore!” You shout, fully ready to turn tail and get out of there. 
You hear a groan from the bushes and Touya emerges, his hair now white on one side and red on the other. 
“You’re no fun.” He chides. “What are you gonna do when you have to find a villain?”
“I’ll find them, of course! But not on an empty stomach.” You huff, just glad that he’s stopped messing around and you can both head back now. 
You are both six years old and Touya’s passion for becoming the number one hero burns brighter each passing day. You can only imagine what the coming years will be like.
Touya stood up fully, brushing the residual snow from his pants, forever unbothered by the cold. “Right… whatever you say.” 
In that moment your stomach growls and Touya raises a brow.
Frustration makes itself known again as you stomp your foot in the white snow, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. “We were at this for so long! I’m tired. And cold.”
“You’re always cold.” He muses, walking towards you and taking your hand. 
You shrug, ducking your nose into your scarf to avoid being called Rudolph again, as Touya loves to do. Instead, you try to focus on the warmth of his hand in yours. “And you’re always warm.”
Touya hums, leading you both back to his home that was nearby. His mother promised to make Udon tonight and it was all you could think about. 
“You know, you haven't said much about your new baby brother.” You start, tilting your head to get a better look at him, he always seemed more tense when going towards the home.
His tense features smooth out at the mention of his new sibling, brows softening and a smile sliding onto his face. “Oh, yeah. Well he doesn’t do much yet. He can’t talk or anything. He’s trying, but he’s kind of a potato.”
The comment makes you laugh, and you watch as fresh, new snowflakes make their way down from the sky, landing in Touya’s hair and your jacket. It’s at this moment you decide that winter is your favorite season. 
The way Touya squeezes your hand brings you back to the present, the warmth making your heart dance. “But, I can't wait until he does talk. I bet he’ll be pretty cool.”
“Yeah, I think so, too.” You agree, “But you have to make sure you set a good example for him. Or else he’ll be the cool brother, you know.”
Touya scoffs, brows furrowing in irritation that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “I know that! I’m always cool…”
You mutter a soft sure as your best friend’s home comes into view. 
Udon was so close, you could almost taste it. 
“Race you there!” Touya shouts, dropping your hand and taking off, effectively leaving you in the dust.
“Hey!” You try to catch up, but the headstart he had over you was too great, and you end up last — much to your dismay. Touya was already inside and kicking his shoes off by the time you made it in. “You cheated!”
The boy only shrugs, removing his coat and putting it away, “If you wanna be a hero you have to always be alert, that’s what dad says anyway.”
You follow suit, kicking off your shoes and jacket, and running to greet his mother. It was perfect timing, you noted, as Rei had only just begun placing piping hot bowls of Udon down at the table for all of you. 
“Hi, Fuyumi!” You greet watching her emerge from further into the home. She returns with a wave, taking her place at the table. 
There was no time to waste as you dig into the soup, enjoying the way it warmed your insides from the cool air outside.
“And where have you two been all day?” Rei questions, tone neutral and patient. It’s at this moment you notice the overheated head of the household was not present for dinner. It's something you cannot say that you mind, given how tense the air is when the man does come around. 
“We were out playing hide and seek.” Touya supplied through a mouthful of noodles.
Rei looks skeptical, resting her chin on her hand as she watched her son. “Just playing hide and seek, Touya? No extra training?” 
The boy stops, watching his mother before taking a sip of his water, “Maybe a little bit of training…”
“Touya.”
“What?” He asks, growing aggravated at the woman's pestering. You could only watch as the interaction went on, trying to enjoy your Udon as best you could. 
“I told you not to push yourself today. It’s already hard enough to get your father to give you an off day, at least enjoy it by not overdoing it.”
“I wasn’t overdoing it! It’s fine, okay?” His frustration is growing and you begin to shift in your seat, unsettled by the conversation. It wasn’t the first time Rei had scolded Touya about quirk training, but it always ended the same — no progress on the topic being made. 
Rei sighs, the stresses of her day to day beginning to catch up with her. “I just don’t want you to overdo it. I want you to enjoy being a child too, Touya. Just have fun sometimes.”
“But I do have fun — all the time!” 
She’s tired, you can tell by the bags lining her eyes and the unkept status of her hair. Your mom looks like this too, on the days her job runs over and she has to come home late. Maybe all moms look this way, you ponder as you down the rest of your soup. 
“Listen, I know you want to get stronger, but you’ve been turning up hurt more often than not. At least hold off until the doctor's appointment.” 
You watch as Touyas brows scrunch and his lips turn down in a frown. You know that look very well. He's upset. “What? That’s dumb! I won’t be the best if I let a few burns stop me.”
“Touya…” Rei looks like Touya, you realize in this moment, a near carbon copy of her son the way her features mirror his own. “It’s just for a little while, okay? Not forever.”
He scoffs, done with the conversation and Rei only looks on. “Whatever.”
That’s the end of the conversation, sending dinner into a deep silence with tension crowding the air. 
By the end of dinner, you are more than ready to head to bed, quick to finish your nightly duties and prepare for bed. 
You try to bite back a yawn as you slide the door to the bedroom open, it is futile and you feel the tears pull at the corners of your eyes — signaling that it was time for bed. 
Touya was already clad in his pajamas and currently rolling out the extra futon for you to sleep on. It was a soft white and blue and you wasted no time getting under the blankets.
“Hey, don’t go to sleep yet.” Your best friend whined, arms crossed and judging stare watching you make yourself comfortable. 
You sit up, meeting his eyes with a raised brow. “‘M not. Just getting comfy.” 
“Yeah, sure.” He stops, dropping his eyes to his lap, lost in thought. “Do you think she was right?”
“Hm? Who?”
Touya sucks his teeth, eye roll not directed at you, but his frustration. “My mom. When she said that I train too much.”
“Oh,” you didn’t think so. You were sure how much Touya trained with his father, but you knew it was never anything extensive when it was only you two together. There was no way that was considered too much. “No, I don't think you do.”
He smiles, and you feel like you’ve made the right call. “Good! I just want to be strong. I don’t see why she doesn’t get that. She says I'll end up hurting myself. But when I get burned it’s only a little bit.”
“Yeah, when I use my quirk too much my head will start to hurt really bad and my nose bleeds a little, but it goes away after a while.” You bring a hand to your nose, thankful there was no metallic smell lingering from the last time you used your quirk. 
“The burns go away too! I knew you would understand.” He smiles, and then focuses on you, tone serious. “Hey, let's make a promise, then.” 
This piques your interest. “What kind of promise?”
“That we’ll both keep trying to get strong. We can look after each other so we won't push too hard. Promise?” He holds out his fist with his pinky extended. His eyes are vivid within the dark room, the cerulean blue filled with a boyish determination that makes your mind rush and your heart flutter. 
It's so quiet, the hushed whispers between you two make this feel more like a secret than a promise, and maybe in some ways it is. A secret that binds you both to each other, one that is in its own a safety net and a comfort when you need it most. 
You reach back, interlocking his pinky with yours. “I promise.”
He brings it forward, pulling you towards him just a little. Touya kisses the exposed part of your pinky, and you bring his closer to do the same.
The deal was sealed. Promise made.
The sound of footsteps pulled you both from your steely gaze and towards the door. Touya's eyes widened, knowing you both were not supposed to be awake at this hour. You lock eyes and both duck down, covering yourselves with the blankets and feigning sleep.
It was just in time as the door to the room slid open, a wandering Rei glancing around the now still room. She stood there for a moment — muttering about how she could have sworn she heard voices — before turning to leave, door sliding shut and footsteps trailing back to her side of the home. 
Both you and Touya tried as best you could to keep your snickers and laughs down, even going as far as slapping a hand over his mouth and yours to silence the noises. Only once there were no more sounds of footsteps did you release your hold on him, bringing an index finger to your mouth to shush him further. 
“Okay,” Touya whispered into the quiet of the room, his voice carrying despite the honest effort to be silent, “we have to go to bed, for real this time.”
“Yeah.” You nod, trying your best to bite back a smile. You were sure the both of you were the only two people awake in the world right now. No one else but you, him in the pale moonlight — with the stars tagging along, sneaking into the space and lighting up the dim room, eavesdropping on your hushed laughs and promises. 
“Goodnight,” he breathes, no more than a whisper.
“Goodnight, Touya.”
—--------------------
You wake with a start, body sitting straight up in bed as your chest heaved. Your eyes darted left and right but all you could see was the familiar posters along the walls of your bedroom. 
Your bedroom?
“Oh, I see you’re awake.” 
Your head snaps to the voice, honey sweet and always familiar. Your mother stood at your door, leaning against the dark wood of the doorframe and giving you a look that made a pit form in your stomach. You clench the cotton of your bed's comforter, the fabric anchoring you to the room.
“You’ve been out for a while.” She continues when she realizes you won’t speak. And what could you say? That you chased your dead best friend in the forest and overused your quirk to catch him? It sounds ridiculous. 
So, you bring the words to your mouth and try to give her a response. Even if it’s a small, insignificant one. 
“Have I?” The words feel dry and heavy on your tongue, like you haven’t spoken in days. Maybe you haven’t. 
Your mother nods, taking your response as consent to come further into your room. Her steps are soft, as if any loud noise would scare you off or make you shut down. It’s hard to look away from her worried gaze, so you don’t. 
You watch as she makes her way over, sitting down on your bed and the look she gives you makes your chest ache.
The somber aura in her eyes brings you no comfort.
“What were you doing out there?” She skips to the point, not wasting another minute. It’s like the question has been running through her head for a while now. 
Your eyes fall to your fists clutching the bedsheets. 
What could you say?
“I…” You swallow, the worst she could do was not believe you. “I saw something in the forest.”
Your mother shifts on the bed, turning to look at you head on. “What did you see?”
There was no way she wouldn’t think you were crazy, but you had to try. 
“Touya. I swear I saw him.” Your eyes meet hers and you wished they hadn’t. The look of sorrow is now replaced with something much worse. Pity. 
“Sweetie…” 
You inhale, tears blurring your vision and you knew this would happen. “Don’t! It was him — I know it was.” 
“I'm not saying it wasn’t.” She defends, bringing a hand up in surrender. “I’m just worried about you. You know what the doctors told you about your quirk.”
The quirk. You didn’t even think about that. 
Too caught up in the possibility of seeing Touya again. 
Your mother sighs, “You’ve been out for three days. Three. You can’t blame me for being worried about you — or upset.”
And you don’t. 
Three days is a long time. You reach a hand up, taking note of the bandages wrapped around your head. You’re not even sure how you ended up back in your room. 
“Just… Remember what the doctors said.” And you do remember! But it was an emergency. One that you couldn’t risk letting pass you by. She speaks again, her voice stern. “I don’t want to lose you.”
You sit there in silence, taking her words in. The heavy tears on your lower lids fall, dampening the blanket in droplets. 
“It’s around that time of year again, I know. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. As a mother I wish I could protect you from this kind of hurt.” She stops, voice wavering as her own eyes grew glossy. “But it’s also why I can’t risk losing you either.”
You want to say something, anything to make her stop. It’s not the same. 
“I don’t doubt that you saw something, but I want you to understand that it was late at night, and you’re still grieving.” 
Your jaw is starting to ache from how hard you’re clenching your teeth — fury below the surface of your frustration. 
Of course she doesn’t believe you. 
Why would you be foolish enough to think she would? 
She sighs, the lecture coming to an end. “Don’t destroy yourself for this, okay?” Your mother reaches out and covers your exposed hand with her own. It takes everything in you not to snatch it away. 
“Promise me, please.”
You meet her eyes, the sorrow swimming in them makes you feel like you’re drowning, so you do the only thing you can think of — you nod, and agree. 
“I promise.” 
And you do. It won’t destroy you to find out the truth. You’ll be okay and intact. No promises will be broken, not again. 
You go out to the forest that night. Even though your head is still wrapped in bandages and you get dizzy if you turn your head a little too fast — you still go. You have to.
It’s eating you up and you have to be sure you weren't hallucinating. 
Your mother has been keeping a close eye on you. She’s so worried, not only about your physical health but your mental health as well. And you don’t blame her. To have her only daughter fall out in the forest and wake up claiming to see her dead best friend? It’s worrisome, but you know better.
You wave the flashlight in your hand, backtracking your steps in the forest. 
It's fruitless, due to the fresh fallen snow and lack of footprints. But that doesn’t deter you. You know he was here, he had to be.
After what felt like an hour of a search, you decide to turn back, knowing there would be no point as the snowfall increased. It would eventually make things harder to see and you would rather not get stuck in a snowstorm. 
Fuyumi won’t say it out loud but she is worried about you. 
She’s worried you have finally gone off the deep end and you are too far gone to be brought back to shore. 
“Fuyumi, I know what I saw. It was him — I swear!” You pleaded, knowing how you must sound.
She knows how much you love Touya, and how devastated you were, but what she doesn’t understand is what you mean when you say you saw him. 
Her eyes were filled with sadness and …pity. The same pity that’s been haunting you for days now. “I believe you saw something. I don’t want to shut you down, it’s just… I know how your quirk is. I know what happens if you overuse it. It could have been in your mind right before you went out.” 
You scoff in shock, eyes wide and disbelieving of what you’re hearing. Of all people you thought Fuyumi would understand, or at least hear you out. 
She doesn't understand. She wouldn’t understand. 
You shake your head, eyes downcast as you fight the familiar burn of tears in your eyes, muttering under your breath, “I know what I saw.” 
Those were his eyes. It was his nose and his hair. It was Touya. 
This doesn’t stop her from trying to comfort you, bringing that familiar hand to your shoulder and giving it a squeeze. What would usually feel like a comfort is now a vice, suffocating you as you drown is the reality around you.
No one will believe a word you say.
“Maybe,” she starts, words careful and gentle, knowing you were as fragile as glass, ready to shatter at any sudden movement. “Maybe Touya is watching over you in some way. Like a guardian angel.”
The warm tears fall now, unable to be held back by your crumbling will. 
“I know how hard it is, really, I do. But I want you to know that you’re not alone, okay?” You can feel Fuyumi’s gaze on you, silently pleading for you to look up, look at her, but you won't. You can’t. You know what you saw and it doesn’t matter if anyone believes you. 
You would never stop looking for Touya. 
Fuyumi lets you go and it feels like you can breathe again. She has become such a good friend over the years, second best to Touya, but it’s not the same. 
You go to stand, having had enough of crying for one week and she stops you. 
“Wait, I don’t want you to go! At least stay for dinner with us. Does your mom work late tonight?”
You nod, she usually does on Fridays. 
“Then it’s settled. Stay over, let's watch movies or something.” She falters, eyes to the floor as she bites her bottom lip, “I don’t want to be alone, either.”
Something in your heart tugs and you agree, moving to join her once more in the living room. 
Fuyumi may not understand, but she was still your close friend. “Okay, but I get to choose the movie, though.”
And she smiles.
For now, you would be okay. 
—----------------------
“It’s so stupid!” 
There’s a flash of fire and a tree goes up in flames. Touya is upset. 
“It’s just not fair.”
“I know…” You drag, hating when he got this way. “But it’s what they told me.” 
“That means we can’t be heroes together anymore!”
The wave of sadness you feel makes your head hurt and eyes water. “I know… I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, they told me I had to stop training, too. Dad said he wouldn’t do it anymore because I hurt myself. You know what I say to that? Who cares! We can be strong if we want to. It's not fair.”
You know it’s not fair.
You are seven years old when the doctors tell you that you cannot continue to use your quirk. 
Telekinesis is not only rare, but it is dangerous. Not just to you, but to others around you. The doctors were very clear about what would happen if you lost control or if you overexerted yourself. 
The consequences could be devastating. 
But quirks are such an important part of one’s life and for them to tell you to just not use them? It’s unheard of. 
It also doesn’t help that Touya has another sibling on the way. One that his father is eerily excited about. 
“Do you remember our promise?” He asks, pulling you from your thoughts. 
You nod, knowing the promise is something you could never forget. 
“Well, I think it's more important than ever now. If they dont want us to do it, then we just shouldn’t tell them.” There is a determined purpose in his voice as he turns to face you, committed eyes meeting yours.
“I don’t know, Touya. That sounds like lying.”
“It’s not if you don’t say anything.” He insists, tone even. 
Your gaze falls to the ground, watching as the wind blows the leaves along the snow. It’s like their own secret dance. Your promise is beginning to feel more like a secret dance as well.
“Look,” Touya starts, walking towards you and capturing your attention once more, “I swear, if anything happens, I’ll just say I did it.” 
You shake your head, brows furrowed in confusion and fists clenched, “No! Then you would get in trouble, and what if we can’t hang out anymore? We can be in this together, Touya.” 
He smiles, soft and sweet. Your dedication relaxes him more than he thought it would. 
His warm hands are on your face again, warming your cheeks and the butterflies that have been living in your stomach go wild again. You absently wonder if you should tell your mother about it. 
“Your nose is all red again, Rudolph.” He says before bringing you closer and brushing his nose against yours.
You were sure if your face got any warmer you would probably explode. 
Touya carries on, walking away from you and further into the forest. You trail behind, even though you knew this part of it well, you still didn’t want to run the risk of getting lost. 
“Where are we going?” Your voice carries in this part of the woods, and it sounds more like a shout. 
“I found this cool spot the other day! Let me show you.”
Confident as always, Touya trails through and you speed up to chase him. 
Now you're sure your face is red, but he doesn't mention it again. 
“It’s down here.” Touya points and there’s a drop to get to the area. 
It only takes a jump and he lands on his feet — he makes it look so easy, but you know he’s probably gotten a lot of practice and put himself in positions more dangerous than this. 
There’s that doubt in the forefront of your mind again, the fear that makes you hesitate. “I don’t like heights, Touya.” 
“It’s okay! C’mon, I’ll catch you. It’s just a little further.” He’s reassuring as he holds out his arms. 
Always fearless Touya. 
You trust him, and it’s all you can think as you close your eyes and give yourself a little running start and then jump. 
There’s a ringing in your ears again and you don’t feel his arms right away, instead you feel light. As light as a feather as you drift down to the ground. 
The lack of impact makes the fear ebb away as you open your eyes. There’s Touya, arms out and waiting as he watches you with widened eyes filled with wonder. 
You’ve somehow activated your quirk and slowed your own fall. You absently think that it almost feels kind of fun, the way you softly land in Touya’s waiting arms. 
“Whoa,” he starts, eyes never leaving yours. “You looked like an angel or something.”
You don’t know why, but the comparison makes your cheeks flush as you fight for a way to respond. 
Nothing comes to mind and you only bite down a smile. You’ve never tried something like that before with your quirk and the excitement makes your fear fade away. 
“I didn’t know you could do that.”
“Me either,” you shrug. It’s new to you too, and you weren’t against trying it again. 
“Well, c'mon, let’s go before it gets dark.” And he’s taking off, pulling you along with him by the hand. The wind is chilly but it doesn’t completely cool you. Touya keeps you warm, from the outside by his hand and from the inside with his words. Maybe there was more to his fire quirk than you thought. 
“Don’t run so fast, Touya!”
He laughs, but slows down for you, looking back and flashing a smile, “Whatever you say, angel.” 
—-------------
It’s the end of March and spring is on the way. 
The snow melting, the rain clouds are rolling their way in, readying to greet April and bring life to the incoming May flowers, and your mother—
“We need them by tonight!” She yells through the phone and it’s enough to make you hold the device far away from your ear. 
“I heard you the first time, mom.” You sigh, looking around again for the small shop and making your way towards it. “I’ll have all the stuff by then. The party will be fine, I promise.” 
Tonight is your father’s big homecoming day from overseas. He’s been working away from home for eight months now and your mother has decided to throw him a welcome home party at the last minute. He will be here by tonight and so will the guests — if you finish in time everything will go according to plan. 
“I just want everything to be perfect.” Her voice presses and you hum in response. You know how she wants things to be, but your father isn’t picky. He’s the most easy going man you know and if there’s a hiccup here and there, well, you’re sure he won't mind. 
“Okay, mom.” You start, grabbing your items and making your way to the checkout line. “I’m about to check out now, so I’ll let you know when I'm on the way home.”
She sighs on the other end, but lets you go, not before fully explaining why she needs the banners and streamers in a certain color and you cut her off, hanging up and checking out. 
It's been a few months since the incident in the forest and you’ve given up trying to make anyone see your point of view. They all thought you were hallucinating, but you knew better. You saw Touya. There was nothing they could say or do to make you think otherwise. 
You heave a sigh and continue your walk through the town thinking of the countless decorations you will undoubtedly have to help your mother hang for the night. It gives you something to do, but god, last minute events were not your favorite. 
There aren’t as many people out and about this time of day and you're thankful. It’s almost peaceful, the way you can weave through the sparse crowd and get lost in your own thoughts. 
Until you see it.
It makes you stop in your tracks, heart beating so loud in your chest you could feel it pulsing in your ears. 
White hair and blue eyes.
You take a few hurried steps to the alley you know you saw the figure go into. 
He was wearing an oversized black hoodie with the hood pulled up, but you knew the moment he turned and his eyes met yours. Touya. 
Without a second thought you dropped the bags you were holding and ran after him. He was halfway through the window of an abandoned building when you made down the alley, but was swift as he jumped through it. There was no doubt Touya was fast, but you wouldn’t let him get away. Not this time. 
You follow him, jumping through the same window and chasing as he maneuvers through the dusty dilapidated building. It’s hard to catch your breath and you are sure you’re running on pure adrenaline now, but none of that matters. 
All that matters now is that you aren’t crazy. It was broad daylight when you locked eyes. You know Touya is alive.
“Touya, wait!” You barely register the tears running down your face as you run, but you dont care to wipe them away. Why would he run from you? Why would he hide from you? There are so many questions that you need answered. “Stop!” 
He takes a left turn and you follow, before seeing him dip right and it’s getting harder and harder to keep up. After the last incident you refuse to use your quirk. Not unless you wanted to ruin your chances and pass out again. 
At one point you lose him completely, but there is no outlet in the dusty room you’ve cornered him in. He has to be hiding somewhere. 
“Touya, please! If that’s you,” you yell out, voice hoarse from emotion, “please, come back. Talk to me.” You’re looking around the dark room, walking further in and searching for something, anything that shows his presence. 
You make the mistake of having your back to the door, the only exit in the room and Touya darts out, passing you and making it back into the main part of the building. 
You curse before hurrying behind him, but it was too late. All you could see was him hopping the window and landing on his feet below. It was too high for you to follow so you only grip the window pane, tears of frustration running down your cheeks as you watched him run.
“What about our promise?” You yell, wondering if your words could reach him.
There’s a sick feeling forming in your gut and you try to pull yourself together — wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt and the sobs shook your body. You had a party to prepare for and you couldn’t keep playing this game of back and forth.
Your mother gives you an earful when you arrive home much later than you were supposed to, but she was so focused on getting your father’s welcome home party together that she let you off the hook easily.
As long as you helped her hang the decorations. 
There is a tense air around the both of you and you know your mother is hesitating asking. You aren't sure if it’s to save you the trouble of a pointless conversation or if she is just tired of hearing about it. 
You decide not to tell her of your latest meeting. Brushing off any odd stares and worried glances with excuses of being tired. It was not wise to tell anyone what you saw. They would only think of you as the girl who cried wolf.
When your father made it home you knew he could tell something was off with you by just one look alone. 
He participated in the socializing and games until the crowd died down and people began to leave. You had called it a night long ago and made your way to your room, headphones on and catching up on homework. 
There was a knock loud enough to hear through the headphones, making you remove one and causing you to turn and see your father standing at the door. 
“Yes?” You ask, unsure what he could want at this hour.
He gives you a small smile, one as gentle and kind as you've always known him to be, and asks to come in — taking a seat on your bed while you close the book at your desk.
“I wanted to talk.” He started, watching as you removed the headphones from your head completely and gave him your undivided attention, sure that this would be about what’s been going on lately. 
“Have you started looking for colleges?”
The question surprises you, and you shake your head. You should start looking soon, since you turn seventeen soon and only have one year left, but it hasn’t been your main priority. “No, I haven’t.”
He only smiles, eyes crinkling shut as he waves off your worried expression, “It’s fine! I actually had an alternative for you. It’s something I've been looking into during the business trip.”
Your interest is officially piqued as you urge him to continue. 
“Well, I’m sure you know this, but you have a pretty rare quirk.” He starts, tone leveled, “I’ve been working on research studies and there’s somewhere I found that would love to have you intern and learn more about it.”
You tilt your head. “You want me to be a guinea pig?”
“No!” Your father laughs, already knowing how it would sound. “No, not that at all. I want to understand your quirk better, and for you to understand it better. I think it would be good for you. A chance to grow.”
To grow. You narrow your eyes at the words, starting to understand what he was getting at. “So you’ve heard.”
“I did. And before you get upset — I believe you. I will always believe you, and that's why I want you to do this." His words make your eyes widen and he continues. “It’s in a small town a little further away, but the internship comes with your own apartment and a stipend for food. Your mother and I will still support you, of course...”
You hold a hand up to stop him, “wait, how far away is the town?”
Your father rubs the back of his neck, an anxious habit he’s had as long as you could remember. “About four hours from here.”
“Four hours?” Your voice is louder than you meant for it to be but you can't help it, standing to your feet in disbelief. 
“It’s such a good opportunity for you, honey. This town… has too many memories. It’ll help you grow. At least tell me you’ll consider it?”
It feels like hours before you speak again, the stunned feeling hijacking your body. But you do respond, you owe him that much. 
“Alright, I’ll think about it.” You give, taking your seat at your desk again. It feels like your mind is swimming, but you had to at least mull it over. 
“Thank you,” your father stands and hugs you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before exiting your room. “I promise it won't be so bad. Goodnight, honey, I love you.”
You only nod in response. Maybe getting away would be good for you. 
The first day you find a gift it is raining outside.
You stumble up to your front doorstep, closing your umbrella and shaking off the excess water.  
“What the…” You reach down to pick up the little box, and turn it over to examine it. Maybe your mother got something delivered. 
The thought follows you into the home as you pull off your raincoat and rainboots, making your way to the kitchen where your mother had started on dinner.
“Oh, welcome home.” She greets, stirring the pot of soup and eyeing the box in your hand. “What do you have there?”
Your brows furrow as you take a seat at the table. “I thought you would know. It’s not for you?”
“Nope.” 
The response only makes your brows furrow more as you search for maybe a name or any indication that it was delivered to the wrong place. 
“You should open it.” Your mother pipes up and you shrug, ripping the paper and opening the box. 
You drop the box the moment you see the item. 
There was no way.
“What? What's the matter?” Your mother questions, her eyes filled with worry as she reaches for the box.
You snatch it away from her and dart off to your room, supplying her with an excuse about how you don’t feel well before locking yourself in your bedroom. 
The box held a golden locket inside of it. It was in the shape of a heart and you were terrified to open it and see what lay inside of it. You decide that the suspense would be too much and open it anyway — the photo makes your breath hitch.
It was you and Touya. 
You, with your bright eyes and happy smile and Touya, half white and half red hair looking at you as you hug him, cheeks pressed together. 
There was no denying it now. Touya was alive and he was hiding from you. 
Maybe he’s watching over you — like a guardian angel. Fuyumi’s voice rang in your head as you fought the tears blurring your vision. 
Why would he send you this and not talk to you?
All of it made your head spin as you thought of the countless reasons and possibilities. You didn't bother to wipe the tears from your eyes as they rolled down your cheeks. Only opting to lay down in your bed, holding the locket close to your chest as you stared at the ceiling above. 
It made no sense. Touya could trust you, so why would he hide from you?
Unless he didn’t want to be found.
The next gifts come in different forms and sizes, ranging from your favorite snack to cute cards. 
Always something small but never with a note or handwriting. It was almost like he truly didn’t want to be found. 
And maybe he didn’t. 
It’s scary at first, receiving random gifts and items from someone who might as well be a ghost, but as the months went on you grew used to it and even began to expect it at some point. 
Now you knew you could rest easy knowing that Touya was alive and maybe, just maybe he was waiting on the right moment to come out. You would trust him.
It also doesn’t take long for you to come to a decision with your fathers offer. 
It’s an amazing opportunity and you should take advantage of that while you can. You tell him as much and you could feel his excitement through the phone call. He was away on business again, but he would handle most of the heavy lifting, all you had to do was apply and wait on your offer once you graduate. 
There was just one thing you had to do before you left. 
—--------------------
You are eighteen years old when you leave Musutafu.
By this time you couldn’t take it anymore. Either Touya had gotten better at hiding or he knew you would be leaving soon, but there was nothing else from him — and there hadn’t been for months. At this point it felt like glimpses of the past haunting you. Every part of the city reminded you of him and of your childhood together. 
Fuyumi was upset to see you go, but she understood. 
You still believed, deep down, she thought you were losing your mind. 
You needed this though – needed a getaway. The ghost of Touya was holding you down, holding you back. 
Even though the gifts stopped coming months ago. 
She is kind as she hugs you and waves you off, knowing that one main reason for your company in her home was to visit Touya’s shrine. She does not stop you, does not ask questions — not after the time she mentioned how you didn’t bring him up as often. 
There was no need to. You only told her that you’ve moved past that and you knew Touya was watching over you, a small smile on your face as you touched the locket dangling from your neck. Fuyumi didn’t bring the topic up again.
Today is the day you leave. You had waited and waited for any sign of Touya again, but there was nothing. So you took matters into your own hands, making a little bag of gifts and a card that held the new updates to your life and address.
It was a long shot, but it was a chance you had to take.
Once you finished, it didn't take long to make your way back home, gathering your things as your parents insisted on driving you to the train stop. With your mother buzzing around you like a bee, making sure everything was perfect before you went off on your own. 
The idea of new beginnings had begun to feel a little more welcomed.
Your new apartment is small. 
It is small and cozy and just enough for you. It’s a comfortable one bedroom place and you can only imagine all the ways you will decorate the space. 
The town is also cozy and quaint – one that is reminiscent of old fairy tales, but a lot less magical. You can't help but sigh at the mundane routine you’ve fallen into since you’ve arrived. A nice walk from your apartment to the research lab, and from the research lab to your home. Since it’s summer there aren't many researchers on campus, so you have more than enough time to explore the parks and stores. 
One week turns into two and then two weeks turn into a month. You’ve gotten used to the small town and the people that live there. It's become relaxing and the new routine has eased your nerves. Maybe your father was right about needing a change.
But no matter what you do, you cannot stop thinking about Touya. 
The thought of leaving him is heavy, but when you touch your locket, you know it is for the best.
Everything changes on a Thursday night. 
It’s a normal night, one where there is no need to go to the lab, so you hang around in the apartment — setting up cozy lights and posters from home. It’s beginning to come together more and more everyday, and you decided to end it all with a simple and easy meal. One that you could mindlessly eat while watching a movie. 
It's a foolproof plan, really. 
You’re stirring the pot of noodles, humming a tune when you hear the knocks at your door. It is dark outside, and you haven’t made enough friends to warrant visitors, so the idea of a guest at this hour sends alarms ringing in your mind.
You grip the wooden spoon tight as you take cautious steps to your door, knowing that if it came down to it you would be more than ready to whack whoever trespassed. 
“Who is it?” You call out, loud enough for the intruder to hear, but get no response. 
At this point you are sure it was just your imagination and you turn, ready to get back to your noodles, when the knocks sound throughout the apartment again.
Frustrating is the only thought on your mind as you stomp towards your front door, ready to give whoever was on the other side of it a piece of your mind for interrupting your peaceful night with this bullshit—
The door swings open and your words die on your tongue.
Cerulean blue looks down at you and you were right — he has gotten taller.
“Hey, angel.”
You couldn’t believe your eyes. You wouldn’t believe your eyes because if you did you would see Touya, your childhood best friend Touya on your doorstep. Real and in the flesh, hair white as snow and eyes worn with fatigue. 
“Can I come in?” He asks and you are shellshocked, only stepping to the side as your eyes follow his every move. 
This was a moment you thought of for years after your first encounter in the forest, and for him to be here, with you. It didn’t feel real.
“Touya,” you gasp, voice low as if being any louder would wake you from this dream you must be having.
“I know.” His eyes are downcast with a sorrow you’ve never seen in him before, “I.. have a lot I want to tell you.”
It’s at that moment that the timer for your ramen goes off, startling you both and sending you rushing to the kitchen. You offer him a seat and insist that you’ve made enough for the both of you. 
There was so much you needed to discuss, so much to catch up on.  You didn’t know where to start. 
The little table you use to eat on is small, but perfect for the two of you, you realize as you set both bowls down and hand him a set of metal chopsticks. 
Your heart was in overdrive as you ran through thousands of things to ask, millions of unspoken words to say. You’ve imagined this moment in your head for years. Time and time again you’ve thought of what you would say to him, what you would do if you ever saw him again. 
Now the opportunity has presented itself and all you can manage is a wide eyed look as you both quietly eat your ramen. 
Surreal. 
This moment feels surreal and you’re sure that if you make any sudden movements or ask any loud questions, that it would be gone. Touya would be gone, disappearing in an instant and leaving you alone in your apartment. 
He speaks first, saving you the trouble of searching for words. “The food was good.” 
His voice sounds scratchy, like it hasn’t been used in years and you can't help but wonder why. 
“Thank you.” It’s all you can manage to get out, stunned to your core and desperately searching for words. 
You go to stand, taking the empty bowls with you to the kitchen and Touya follows suit, trailing behind in the small space of the apartment and you are hyper aware of his presence. 
You can feel the warmth of his body even when he is steps away from you. It radiates and blankets you in feelings you haven’t felt in years. 
As you place the bowls in the sink you can’t help but wonder where should you go from here. It’s a thought that plagues you as you grip the edge of the sink, fists tight and head hung low while you brace yourself to turn around, to face the reality of the truth standing right behind you—
You do it. You turn and it’s not a dream. It’s not your imagination, you conclude as you look into Touya's eyes, blue and familiar. Eyes you would know anywhere. 
His hair is snow white, the last color you saw it as before he—
“You kept it.” His eyes drop to the golden locket around your neck, a small smile pulling at his features. 
“Of course I did.” You’re firm, bringing two fingers up to brush against it, the cool feeling bringing you comfort over the last few years. 
His gaze seems far away as he zeros in on your locket, “I was worried you wouldn’t, after the last time we—“
“Don’t.” You cut him off, words sharp. “Don’t talk about it. Not tonight.”
You don’t know what you’re doing or where your mind is going as you take a step forward. He’s so different, yet so familiar and you can’t help but reach your hand up to brush over the newly faded scars along his cheek. 
Touya leans into the touch, closing his eyes and allowing you to feel. 
When he opens them again you get that feeling in your chest that always pulls at you and for the first time, you can finally place a word to the feeling. 
“I’m sorry,” you stammer, vision blurring with tears as you fight for your words, “I’m sorry I didn’t—“
Touya stops you, crashing his lips into yours and effectively silencing your racing thoughts. It’s warm and he’s so close, you wish you could pull him closer but you settle for this, allowing the tears to freely roll down your cheeks. 
When he pulls away there is only the smallest distance between you two. Noses so close they are almost touching. 
“I don’t care about any of that,” his eyes are so focused on yours, it feels like he’s put you in a trance. “I’m the one who should be apologizing, anyway.”
Before you could even shake your head, tell him no it’s the other way around, he’s pulling you back into a kiss, one so soft and so gentle you feel as though his lips were made for yours. 
It presses on, your hands finding his hair, soft and fluffy as you’ve always known it, while his hands hold your waist, pulling you in and keeping you close. 
This is not your first kiss, and it’s not Touya's either. You both decided at around eleven years old that you would try to emulate your parents and see what the fuss was about. Surely enough, you didn’t think you did it right because there was nothing. No sparks, no fireworks — just lips pressed together. 
You were both too young at the time, you now realize as you wrap your arms around Touya's neck, tilting your head and deepening the kiss. Way too young to realize that love is not fairytales and fireworks. 
Love is slow, it is steady and it is this — right here, right now, kissing your best friend in your tiny apartment kitchen. 
It’s perfect, you think as you both make your way to the bedroom, Touya trailing behind you for once as you lead him through the space. Hushed laughs and soft smiles dance together as you fall onto the bed. 
He is above you, and you wonder how you could have ever lived without his presence. The thought makes you sick. 
“I love you.” And it’s not your lips that moved, not your voice. It’s Touya, as he looks down at you, cheeks flushed and breathing heavy. “I never stopped loving you.”
“Touya…” Your heart swells and it’s then you feel it. The droplets of tears, falling from his eyes and onto your cheeks. They were as warm as he had always been and you waste no time pulling him down into another kiss — pulling away only enough to press your foreheads together. “I’ve always loved you.”
And you have. Even in death you loved him, nothing could take that love away from you. 
The next kiss is hungry, teeth and tongues clashing in a rush as you both fought to remove your clothes. You have regretted all the things that went unsaid, the actions that went undone and you were both not going to waste any of this new time you had been given. 
You feel one of Touya's fingers prod your entrance and the hesitation reminds you that you’re both inexperienced. New to the world of sex, but forever patient. You could guide each other, you decide as you gasp when he slowly slips a finger inside, slick coating the digit and making the press easier. 
Touya watches you with heavy lidded eyes as he pumps the digit, causing you to whine at the pressure. He pulls out soon after, searching for your sensitive bundle of nerves and giving a sly smirk when you moan at the touch. He’s found it and wastes no time rubbing circles, slow at first to get a feel of what makes you tick, but gaining more confidence as he goes on. 
There was a pressure beginning to build in your lower abdomen and it made you pull him close, thighs tensing as you squeeze your eyes shut. 
“Close?” His voice is a whisper beside your ear.
You only nod, unable to give him a verbal answer as your pleasure builds. 
You can feel his smile as he turns his head, cheeks brushing against yours. “Let go for me, I’ve got you.” 
And you do. 
You let go of the tension and allow your body to fall into the pleasure of your climax— gasping as it washed over you in waves, sending shocks of pleasure radiating through your body. 
“Fuck,” Touya moans above you as he works you through it, only moving to line up with your entrance once you’ve come down from your high. 
The press of it makes your breath hitch, but when you look up into Touya’s eyes you feel safe. 
“Tell me if you want to stop, okay?” And you nod, trusting him to be soft and slow. 
He’s nervous, too, and you can tell by the way his brows furrowed in focus. He doesn’t want to mess up your first time, but nothing could ruin this moment. Not even the twinge of pain you feel as the head of Touya’s cock pushes past your entrance, the tight muscles constricting against the intrusion. 
You reach out, hands finding balance against his back as he pressed on, muttering words of comfort to you and ebbing away the pain. 
It doesn’t take long before the pain has been washed away and replaced with the blossoming buzz of pleasure, Touya's hips having a steady pace as he begins to gain more momentum. 
The pleasure is quickly building again and you tell him as much, crying out when he snaps his hips at a particular angle and sends a flash of bliss up your spine. 
“Fuck, Touya, there! Right there,” you cry and he catches on instantly. He’s always been a fast learner. 
The angle he has is perfect as he brushes against the soft spot inside you over and over again, making your thighs shake and toes curl in pleasure as you meet your end once again. The feeling settles deep in your bones as the warmth of it spreads throughout your body like a warm blanket. 
Touya isn’t far behind, if his erratic pace was anything to go by. You could only watch in awe as he chased his high, with his brows furrowed and eyes tightly shut. You fall more in love as you feel his hips stutter and then stall, his white hot seed filling you from the inside and making you shudder. 
It was a new feeling that you believed you could get addicted to if you weren’t careful. 
But none of that mattered right now, because Touya was leaning down, pressing a kiss to your lips and you knew that right here, right now was the most important.
Everything else would have to wait until tomorrow.
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joltik-guy · 1 day
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[Electros plan]
{off screen post}
Joltik was so tired. The kind of tired that made your brain turn to mush inside your skull, that let the corners of your vision turn white. The kind of tired that wouldn’t go away.
The public hated them. Everyone hated them. And yet new vilgilantes popped up everyday, earning love and interest from the public. Paco, and now Juniper? It was pathetic. They did this before it was cool. Before it was common. What- do they just get all of the praise and attention, while Joltik fades into obscrurity. It wasn’t fair. People choosing this! They didn’t choose this!
Their vision goes completely white for they don’t know how long- it didn’t feel longer than a second- but it seemed to be morning, judging by the equipment lighting up, or maybe it wasn’t. They didn’t see sunlight anymore, their vision was far too degraded for that.
Their eyes almost immedaitly snapped to Electro, (HOW DID SHE GET IN!?)  who glowed like the sun should. She grinned, standing behind glass, in a room Joltik was yet to enter. She stood on her tippy toes, attempting to set up some TVs, with several more already organised.
“Oh hello! Decided to join us have you?”
She’d been in for a while- and they hadn’t noticed. They had failed- no- not entirely. Not yet.
The jerk upright- their only goal now is to get to her. To get her.
“I can’t believe you sleep with you eyes open! Freaky!”
She giggled, adjusting the last TV, and moving to connect some wires.
Joltik reached the door, but yanking on the handle revealed it was locked. Electro tuts, sitting down on a swivel chair and sliding to a large computer in the room, typing faster than what seemed to be humanly possible.
“You’re not allowed in yet! I’m not done! You should’ve invested in some more sleep- you look terrible hah-”
Joltiks fists clench, attempting to smash the glass, in one swing. It doesn’t work. Even with their superhuman strength- it bounces off the glass, only leaving their hand throbbing. They look up at her, not in any humour for this.
“I fucking hate you.”
She turns around to face them at this, her face almost showing something akin to disappointment.
“Oh- I know. I know you do.”
At that moment, the door clicks open, seemingly for no reason, and joltik rushes in without thought. They lunge at her- only for her to take a step back onto the a wire carefully placed and glitch out of sight.
Joltik blinks.
What.
The door clicking closed again sickened them to their stomach. Turning revealed her.
Outside of the room. Standing on a wire, grinning wider than ever, some sort of remote in her hand. She walks up to the glass as the tv’s flicker to life.
“Oh I didn’t think you’d fall for that! But hey- Thank you for making this easy!”
Joltik frantically looks around the room, turning in a small circle. They were trapped. Their head began to sting as their joltik senses fired off, everything was wrong. So wrong. This was bad.
All of the TV’s begin to play the same footage. Black and white security footage of their last fight with electro. The villains on the screen begin to bicker.
Electro grins maniacally, rocking on her feet. Everything was falling into place perfectly.
Joltik walks to the oppisite side of the room, where a large sturdy looking machine sits, attempting to pull it apart yeilded the same results as trying to damage the window. Yet they keep trying.
The TVs playing joltik yelling out "You think I wanted this? Any of this? YOU THINK I WANT TO SPEND MY TIME FIGHTING YOU!?" makes them freeze. 
Electro continues her monolouge.
“That really made me think, bug guy. I thought you wanted this- you wanted to be some sort of hero- but you sound bitter. You sound angry.”
Joltik gets back to attempting to break the glass dividing them,
“I am angry- LET ME OUT!”
“I’ve looked over your account, and honestly. I’m doing you a favour here.”
Joltik continues punching the glass, feeling something crack in their hand. Electro hears it and winces, tilting her head
“See- you’re destroying yourself- You always have, always will.”
The TVs start to play different footage this time, it seems like a compalation of joltik being injured, or hurt in their line in their work, including the infamous fight with minskt. She seems to have put a lot of work into this.
“I used to want to use this machine on myself- undo the rotom hybridity that was gifted to me, but I think you’re a much better candidate.”
Joltiks blood runs cold
“What.”
“Once this is over you’ll be normal! Just like you want! Just like you’ve always wanted!”
She begins to click buttons on the remote. The machine behind them making ‘power up’ noises
“NO – I DON’T WANT THAT- I DO NOT WANT THAT”
“Oh but you do! And your friends do too! It’ll be so much better for both of us. You’ll get what you want and I won’t have to deal with you bothering me anymore!!”
“LET ME OUT PLEASE PLEASE- PLEASE STOP THIS LET ME OUT!”
Electro giggles, before turning to joltik, any fun in her expression gone,
“It will hurt less if you’re still.”
With that the machine comes to life.
It was hard to tell if their screams were louder, or the machine itself.
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Sorry for not being very active on here
Just wanted to give an update because a lot has been going on with me and I haven’t even had the time or energy to think about writing or being on this blog because of everything lol.
So, I recently got into a car wreck on the 14th on my way to work. Some guy was trying to make a left turn into the neighborhood I live in on the highway and his engine stalled and (even though he saw me coming and knew that his 20+ year old car had engine problems) he pulled out in front of me to cross but because his engine stalled he didn’t make it and I crashed into him. I’m okay btw!!! Luckily and thankfully I only made it out with a bruised leg, but my car is in bad shape and is most likely totaled because the engine went out after the crash and I couldn’t move my car out of the road nor could I even get out of my car from the driver’s side, I had to escape from the passenger side.
So…yeah, there’s that and I’ve been dealing with a lot of mental health issues because my work has been overworking me and pushing me to my limit and I’m honestly getting really tired of giving my all and breaking my back for this store and getting nothing out of it, like not even a raise (when I asked for one they said it was “being processed by corporate” and apparently this raise has been in the works for me since December so…I don’t think I’ll be getting a raise any time soon tbh and even if I did get a raise it probably wouldn’t be enough to keep me there). Like, just last Wednesday I had a stressed induced illness because I was so burnt out from work and worried about stuff that it made me physically ill so (for the first time ever in 1 year of working at that store) I called out sick (and then that same week I got into the wreck so that was great).
I’m currently working on finding a new job because what I’m dealing with now is getting ridiculous and I honestly really want to be on here and talk to you guys and make posts like I used to, but I feel like I can’t anymore because of life and that sucks. Legit, my boss is making me work 35 hours this week (AFTER MY CAR WRECK 😑) even though she knows what I’m dealing with right now and knows how overworked I am. She had the nerve to say “I don’t want to overwork you” as she adjusted my schedule for the 3rd time because someone who is CONSTANTLY calling out in the store (and they refuse to fire her for some reason AND there’s another employee that’s going to be out all month) can’t come to work for the rest of this week so I have to cover for her. Oh yeah…and you know what else??? I have to train a new employee on top of all of that. I’m not a manager. I’m not even full time. I don’t get vacation time or sick days or paid holidays (even though we literally only get 2 holidays off and that’s Christmas Day and Thanksgiving Day, so not that it even matters anyways) or any kind of benefits. And I don’t get paid extra for training new hires. It’s ridiculous. My boss even asked if I felt comfortable training a new employee after what I’ve gone through with the wreck and how stressed I am (which I respect) and I told her no because I really am dealing with a lot and don’t need the stress of training someone on top of that, yet here I am so…I’m just tired of being a doormat for this company and letting them treat me like a workhorse. It was fine at first because I needed the money (and I still do), but the lack of sympathy after the wreck and being so overworked and stressed that I became physically ill is concerning and I think it’s a sign that I need to move on and find something else.
So yeah, sorry for the rant there but I just wanted to share what I’m dealing with and what I’m going through. Like, I still have stuff at home I have to deal with too and financial issues (and getting in a car wreck certainly doesn’t help that at all), so yeah. I have an interview tomorrow for a job that would really be beneficial to me and would be a perfect fit for me and I’m really hoping and praying I get the job because it’s would just help me so much and it’s such a good job!
Anyways, I know I share updates a lot, but I realized I haven’t really been active on here and I just wanted to share why and kinda release some tension because I’m really going through it lol.
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skinreflectsthesun · 3 months
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Thinking about how it’s been almost a month since the last time I slept a full night without being woken up at least once, I’m so unbelievably tired
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nooooooo my school doesn’t do entomology i’m going to suffer and die and why does my school not have any good majors :’(
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dancing-with-stars · 9 months
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i am losing my mind
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yournowheregirl · 5 days
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someone please tell me how to find the motivation to write YET ANOTHER motivation letter after being rejected for the billionth time
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toaster-trash · 8 months
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Bro being a person is stupid and exhausting and I don’t want to go back to school, but I also want it to be autumn so I can just spend my day with someone giving me actual proper stuff to objectively do, and I can spend a good amount of time around some people I mostly like, and then go home, and it’ll get dark early so I can just do my homework and go to my room and not have to talk to anyone or do anything, and I won’t have to be tired and overwhelmed all the time, because I’ll just have my stuff to do when I have to do it and then I can do whatever I want and go to bed, instead of having to wait for the sun to set at like 10pm in the summer and having no proper things to do every day when I have to do them bar just “help out when things need helping out with” and “read and draw” and having to constantly try to socialise with family members so I’m not a recluse when I just can’t be assed to most of the time
Not looking forward to having to deal with 99% of my teachers classmates and other general social norms that I don’t understand and that nobody ever bothered to tell me about though. And having to be constantly around people literally every minute of the school day. And generally being expected to know stuff that I just don’t remotely get and have no way of knowing. Mostly social stuff. “Wtf do you mean you didn’t know that stop lying to me for attention you know surely just use your brain it’s basic knowledge” ok well I don’t so either fuck off and stop making things purposefully difficult for no reason or just tell me so I know for next time
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raplinesmoon · 9 months
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i think the thing that no one tells you about being forced into being a high achieving child/teen is how much it comes to fuck you over later in life when you can’t do anything without holding yourself to an insane level of perfectionism and then you realize it’s basically leeched all the fun out of any hobbies you created for yourself and left you with a shell of a personality
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coldvampire · 5 months
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#plagued by thoughts and emotions.#man lmao I’ve bitched out So many times this week from reaching out to people. idk. it’s been so long that I just feel like I’m#not important enough to justify it. & I did manage a bit w one person but also ended up#retreating there too bc I just got the sense I made it awkward somehow#so yknow. really great stuff on my end hdjfk#idk idk I’m starved for meaningful social interaction I’m starved for literally anyone taking interest in me atp#it’s such a roller coaster I hype myself up > doesn’t work out > crash hard & I don’t like it. it’s exhausting! it’s really fucking sad too#I’m so tired of my own company & talking to myself all the time. I’ve heard everything I have to say already there’s only so much I can do#I don’t even know what else to say lmao I feel like I don’t really exist anymore outside of my own head#I feel like I can’t get anyone to just djjfjf care about anything I have to say no matter what?#I’m not enough my art isn’t enough whatever it was a few years ago isn’t there anymore.#and I want it to be genuine I don’t want it to be out of pity bc all that does is honestly get my hopes up a bit but it can’t/wont last#I say that for everyone’s benefit too like djjfjf I don’t want to be annoying any more than other people want to be annoyed#anyway I’m going to try to shake this off a bit bc I can’t do anything right now#and I’m not even sure I’d be in the right headspace to have a conversation without decompressing first
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killstreak-kritzkrieg · 5 months
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i’ll be real w you i’m a little disappointed 😭
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callixton · 7 months
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it is the second week of class and i have been up until at least 3 am multiple days
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candydos · 2 years
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god I wish I took a gap year.
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dandelionbi · 1 year
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lamenting the state of things in the tags </3
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