#no i wouldn’t

[bigger-picture-darwinism]

if one more person tells me i would be a good mom after i say i like to cook for and take care of people i will absolutely lose my shit

#again #no i wouldn’t #i also don’t want to #i will not be a mother!! leave me be #mommy not mom #sorry #my bad guys

[bug-woman]

“Would you still fuck me if I were a cop” is an even more fucked up version of “would you still love me if I were a worm”

#acab #snailposting #lesbian #wlw #worm girl #no i wouldn’t

[stedes-crew]

my internal monologue now has a kiwi accent

#i blame #rhys darby #or at least the amount of his content I have consumed in the last week #would I change a thing #no I wouldn’t #quite fun to just think #ahyll hev a cep of tea i thenk

[hslllot]

wish my supervisor would bully me into writing my dissertation the same way people bully writers on here to update their fanfics

#I’d be a doctor of philosophy by now #lol actually who am I kidding #no I wouldn’t

[sadisticyouko]

i would ruin kurama’s life ♡

#no I wouldn’t #but I would have fun trying !! #he drives me insane #so I have to drive him insane to make it fair #he could smell the chaos coming from a mile away #but I’d find it hard to believe he wouldn’t be at least a little curious 😏 #i know how to get the job done #he’s just a teensy bit smarter than me so I’m having a hard time #trying to imagine exactly how I could torture him #damn him and his damn cuteness !!! #I’m gonna end up writing a fic that’s very coyote versus roadrunner but it’s just #reader tryna seduce / ruin kurama #ugh just had to get the thots out #not writing

[seveneyesoup]

#TO CLARIFY ON THE SECOND POINT: VAMPIRES *HAVE* A REPRODUCTION METHOD THAT IS NOT SEX-BASED #THAT IS THE MAJOR POINT OF THAT ONE. THAT VAMP REPRODUCTION IS BASED ON CONVERTING INTO UNDEAD AND NOT PREGNANCY #what i think i keep coming back to is that a vampire is like. a form of pathogen or perhaps parasite #is the individual vampire meaningfully distinct from that? maybe #sort of a made up question #but that’s not a mammal #so neither is a vampire #but also like. a human is a mammal #this question sponsored by my friend who said she was done keeping mammals bc ‘they have so much fluid in them’ #and my thought that a vampire Wouldn’t #not a lot of fluids. happening there

[millificent]

Every Nico Di Angelo fan focusing more on the background of the episode than the actual plot

#I wanted something! #I understand why they couldn’t show them #but a girl’s voice calling ‘Nico!’ or even a ‘Ghost King’ high score #(shhh I know that wouldn’t work with the timeline but nor does the entire episode) #edit: thank you to the people who pointed out that we hear him (so glad he’s Italian too!) #pjo #pjo series #pjo tv show #Percy Jackson #Percy Jackson spoilers #pjo spoilers #Nico Di Angelo #solangelo #also for the record I didn’t make the picture I saw it on Twitter and knew the perfect use for it

[chloesimaginationthings]

My favourite scene from the FNAF movie,,

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #mike schmidt #vanessa fnaf #vanessa afton #fnaf cupcake #monster house #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #my monster house enjoyers please rise 🔥🔥 #I wouldn’t put it past these two to have this exact conversation BAHA #this scene is literally Mike and Vanessa core

[oopdeathnote]

Imagine if you locked Light and Patrick Bateman in a room together. They would be having the most generic conversation but you wouldn’t be able to hear it over the sound of their overlapping internal monologues. There would be a few seconds where their monologues both play in sync to say something misogynistic.

#death note #light yagami #american psycho #patrick bateman #you could put patrick bateman in deathnote and he wouldn’t even seem particularly out of place tbh #i don’t actually like american psycho that much i just keep getting funny #patrick bateman posts on my pinterest feed #original post

[zytes]

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

#misc #I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to. #also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped #it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially #the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm #which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water #as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun #it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here #I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances #also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential #so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export #but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image

[notherpuppet]

When you’re trynta be cool with your crush but she’s a freaking smokeshow 😩🪦

#what I’m saying is #who wouldn’t be down bad for Vaggie immediately #also I am a Charlie fell first but Vaggie fell harder believer #chaggie #hazbin hotel #Charlie Morningstar #Vaggie #my doods #hazbin hotel comic #liked by creator

[abigail]

when i got home after the new years celebrations last night, i took off my boots and found this pin stuck in the bottom of one of them,, a good sign for the new year perhaps ? :-) 

#i got home at 6am and I wouldn’t had noticed b/c I was so so sleepy and I don’t really check the bottom of my shoes when I get home lol #but when I took my boots off I caught a glimpse of gold and yeah ! #protected by angels :-) how nice <3 #a

[zabreus]

my contribution to the masc hypno genre

#sorry #masc hypno #ftm hypno #forcemasc #force masc #forcebutch #forced masculinization #autoandrophilia #lgbt #o #to all the miller lite haters in the notes: yea fair #i wanted it to say spotted cow originally but it wouldn’t translate as well

[franeridart]

more dragon

#my sketches #one piece #monkey d luffy #monkey d dragon #monkey d garp #real talk and jokes aside i think dragons childhood with garp wasn’t all that bad #since he actually was a marine at some point right so he must have at the very least respected garp #garps way of raising a kid that actually wanted to be a marine must have been somewhat different too #all in all i think leaving luffy to garp wouldn’t sound like such a weird thought to dragon ?? #i get why hed go there i mean #garp tho…………….. #what was that man even thinking………………….

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

“LOL. You think your vote matters? ROFL and LOL.” Yes, I am aware my vote carries less and less relative power the more people I’m voting with, but unlike your glorious violent revolution, it actually exists.

#and yes those were the exact words they tagged it with #if I hadn’t seen it myself I wouldn’t believe it either #stunning praxis there top notch

[doccywhomst]

tumblr glitch that hath rended my dash asunder:

free shitpost generator??? why isn’t this an official browsing mode. anyway here are my fav screen grabs, all hits no misses:

pure poetry. it’s like trying to tune into a specific radio station but you have giant lobster claws instead of hands

#also i’m sorry to the artists whose works are in these: the glitch wouldn’t let me see who posted anything so i dont know how to credit you #if you recognize your piece here then contact me and i’ll append your username to the original post #hellsite (derogatory) #tumblr glitch