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#no irl friends that i could be like im almost 20 and granted its not
fruit-gummi · 3 years
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#hey come over. i wanna get shit faced and forget for a little while#gets weird vibes#i really feel like im missing out sometimes#i have zero irl friends. sure theres my boyfriends friends but im pretty much always gonna be just his girlfriend to them. if anything were#to happen to us and we split (not saying it would. i don't think we're ending anytime soon. but if) i would have no one to lean on. i have#no irl friends that i could be like im almost 20 and granted its not#like i can go out to parties rn but like sure i can be shy. but i thrive in social situations. i love parties and clubs and the like but i#cant do any of those things. i have no friends. i ended high school with zero friends. partially because of my own fault. partially because#of an ex friend. i dont have anyone im close to other than my boyfriend. i dont have anyone ive been friends with for years and i probably#never will. there was someone that i thought i had made a friend with but i tried to hang out with her and she just didnt respond and then#couple days after that i did hang out with her but it was also her friends from high school and i just felt seperated cause i didnt really#know anyone. i cant make new friends right now because all i have time for is work and we're in a pandemic. the two people i actually work#with are in theyre like 50s and theres nothing in common between us so its hard to make friends at work. ive kinda been getting closer to#one of my boyfriends friends. but like i know hes his friend first and also my boyfriend had a bad trip with him and now#from him. i just have zero friends irl and its so lonely. my 20s are supposed to be full of socializing and having fun; right? how am i#supposed to do that when i have no one to socialize with. no way to make new friends. and even if i do make friends its not like they stick#around for long. ive fallen back into reading cheesy fanfics just cause i feel so alone rn. i dont know what to do anymore. and its not lik#i dont try to keep friends. i try so hard and it just never works. maybe i am just destined to be alone. maybe ill never really have friend#just to be clear this is about irl friends only. i know mira might read this and this isnt about you honey. youre great. its just different#having irl friends from having an internet friend. also the tags are all fucked up and idk how that happened.
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