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erabu-san · 8 months

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IDK if someone want to read my Fremillei Brainrot but... here.

FREMILLEI TALKING, watching landscape ( ANGST A BIT (dont worry it ends well) it is not a fanfic bcuz lol i am so bad at writing (if it is not in french)

**CW : self depreciation**

**SLIGHT SPOIL : FREMINET BACKSTORY**

FORGIVE MY POOR ENGLISH BYEEE

Freminet suddenly being pessimist about himself, saying how he can only bring disappointment

"Don't say that !"

Collei shouting a bit fierce, which made Freminet jumping a bit

"You are also have your own strenght-"

He already heard those speech from his big sister but... it sounded different from Collei's mouth

"Look ! You can repare machine, you create toys... that's amazing ! Not everyone can do that ! In Sumeru, we could hire you in Kshahrewar Darshan... Freminet, you are amazing ! You can also diving, fishing..."

Freminet didn't know what to say, he is always gloomy.. "I am sorry Collei... you are just- amazing... compared to me I-"

"Please don't say that.."

Collei looks down.

Freminet suddenly felt guilty

"I am also like you, Freminet" her voice trembling

The young man was perplexed, but too scared to offense, he stayed in silent and just listen

"I feel terrible toward myself. Look, I am slow-learning, it still hard for me to read and write. I made a lot of mistake, I felt miserable... I am so scared to fail, I am so anxious when it comes people expectation... and my dark past growing back, my mind becomes weak and it is overwhelming... and sometime I can't resist them.. it hurts everywhere... it is like..." she stopped. She looked at the sky, trying to not cry. And after her pause, she turned her face to Freminet, with a smile but a broken voice

"It is like I am drowning."

Oh. Those words... that's exactly how he felt too. Those words resonated in him.

"I.. I stopped to trust people ! I hated my mother for giving me up. I hated everyone. But more than hating everyone, I hated myself..."

Freminet couldn't help to think about his mother.. when he didn't know the truth, did he hate her ? Did he hate the orphenage before "Father" took it..? Now he mature a bit, the only person he hate is... himself.

By this thought, he clenched his fist.

Collei took a deep breath and shouted

"BUT LIFE KEEPS GOING"

Freminet startled for a second time

"I met friends... family ! Who are dear to me. They give me their hands. They helped me. They are so patient with me. They love me. I can tell how genuine are their feelings...! And I am grateful to them. I love them too ! To repay them... I decided to become the best person I can be..! Being gloomy won't help me in this goal."

She looked in Freminet's eyes, with a determination stares. It was hard for him to be removed from her gazes.

"So yes, Freminet ! You are also amazing on your own way ! Please believe in you, at least for those you wish to protect !

You also have people you deeply care, right ?"

"Y..yes..."

Collei was silent, it looks like she wished him to continue.

Freminet took Pers in his hands stared his blue eyes.

"When I was young, I fantasized of.. just being emotionless. But, the more I grew up, the more I discovered I was hypersensitive.. it is one of my big weakness."

He did a pause, looking at Pers, deep in his thought.

"The orphenage is my home, and every children was considered like my family but... it felt more like we are just gears to make a big machine functionning. I didn't mind it, at least, I was useful. Everytime I felt lonely, I only have Pers with me."

He wanted to cry. The number of time "Father" scolded him, but he couldn't cry because "Father" hate those who cry.

Collei, was still listening, with an empathic look, as she understood what he was feeling.

"But...! I met Lyney and Lynette and.. even if they were inseparable, Lyney always called me little brother.. Lynette always console me ! In this big family, Lyney and Lynette are my genuine companions, and I can claim it ! And now I also met traveler, and Paimon.. ! I-..."

Ah, this is bad, he wanted to cry so much.

Collei encouraging him, tears in her eyes.

Freminet would usually ran away and go deep underwater, in his safe place, to cry all his heart.. only Romaritime flowers as witness.

But, he bursted to tear, couldn't keep all this feeling for himself anymore.

"I DEEPLY LOVE THEM..!"

Collei smiling, while a tear falling on her cheek

"..yes !"

They both usually alone when they started to feel overwhelmed. But this time, flowers, clouds, and them together were their companions.

////

AFTER A WHILE THEY STOP SOBBING

they are both pretty embarassed but they laughed

This is the first time they both cry with someone else, and.. that's a weird feeling !

#talk #idk what to tag huh #fremillei #I JUST READ FREMINET'S BACKSTORY AND MY BRAIN START TO BRAINROT #haha i would be surprised if someone really read all of this 🫣🫣#but gosh... as someone who also suffered from depression but is now healed (in some way)#they are both super important for me 😭#freminet needs to know the warm of friendship so he could accept to have therapy #two kids being sad but one is doing their best to heal and the other one is one his way to accept healing #tw : self depreciation

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uncanny-tranny · 5 months

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I think a lot of people are frustrated sometimes when somebody expresses that therapy just "doesn't work" for them, and I used to feel that way, too, until I realized that the therapy that I was doing just wasn't right for me.

When people think therapy, I think many just assume it's all cognitive behavioural therapy and that that is the only kind of therapy out there. However, this isn't true, and CBT can absolutely be ineffective for certain situations. If you are confused by this idea, here's an example: when I was in the midst of my most recent abusive circumstance, not only was my therapy weaponized against me by my abuser, but also, the therapists I had were ill-prepared to treat ongoing abuse. They had the tools common for CBT, but there is only so much a victim can do before their circumstances are completely out of their control. In a case like this, CBT can be an unhelpful tool alone, which is why you have people who blanket statement say that all therapy is unhelpful (understandable why one would say that if they haven't had any helpful/good experiences).

It seems like people see this idea that "therapy doesn't work" as an automatic red flag, and certainly, I can imagine why one would think that. However, in a healthcare system that generally prioritizes CBT therapy as the "only therapy," it's helpful to remember that CBT isn't always the best option or the best option alone.

#mental health #mental health support #abuse #abuse tw #abuse mention tw #i just think it's best to not assume that people say this because they 'dont try'#i've had a decade's worth of CBT before i had to stop and it wasn't very helpful and i tried!#it's just that CBT doesn't 'need' to be specialized which means it tends to be cheaper than specialists #it's just really frustrating to navigate these spaces as somebody who's 'failed' CBT therapy #i think this therapy absolutely has its place and i think you can do cbt alongside specialized therapies #but i don't always think cbt alone is right for everybody - it wasn't right at all for me #and if i go to therapy again i'll probably explore alternatives or specialized therapy alongsode cbt #but that's probably if i get lucky #obligatory i am not a professional; i have just been a patient for a decade+ and speak with that experience in mind #actually the more i think about it the more fucked up it was that my abuser used therapy against me i never really thought about it as a kid #kept this one in the drafts for a bit but fuck it we ball

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thedragonsfate · 4 days

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FHJY thoughts under the cut bc I gotta sort my brain and can't be succinct to save my life

I think there's something interesting in acknowledge like

of COURSE Kipperlily underestimated the bad kids.

She's hated these kids from day 1. I know a lot of people want to acknowledge that it's not unreasonable for Kipperlily and the rat grinders to think the school is run unfairly (and you're right! it's a fair conclusion)

-- but we also gotta consider that this is something that took root in her VERY EARLY. Before the bad kids got really very good. Two bad kids die on the first day of school, they spend a significant amount of their second semester freshman year just. In Prison.

Of course what follows I'm sure spurs that hatred, but she all but declared Riz to be her nemesis with Jawbone freshman year.

She's probably got some good ideas of how stuff should change, but also she saw this random Goblin boy with a briefcase in rogue class and decided she Hates Him, for a reason none of us can fathom when several of the other bad kids give off worst first impressiona

She's a teenager, a kid, with anger issues. As much as their can be important nuggets at the core of her motives, she's a teenager without emotional regulation skills. That combination is BUILT to breed resentment and feelings of entitlement. and it's built to actively ignore any evidence of a different perspective.

We talk about how she doesn't understand them, takes Kristen as entirely uncaring, doesn't expect the bad kids to do so well in the Last Stand

and OF COURSE she doesn't. some of this because she of course is not privy to all of the bad kids interactions that we are as an audience. but a lot of it is probably because she's a teenager who's decided she's being slighted and as a result is never going to take the bad kids actions on good faith. she's doubled down and while I have a feeling she's extremely perceptive, she's also in an emotional place that means she probably is ACTIVELY ignoring any evidence to the fact that maybe the bad kids are just ALSO working very hard, and that the school itself may also work against them sometimes.

Add to that a god corrupted into rage (negative in this case) and conquest, and a nefarious faculty member as a potentially directly manipulative adult in her life trying to make something big and destructive happen. Kipperlily strikes me as the kind of person who knows she's smart, and knows she's clever, but is so blinded by her emotion that she is probably missing some of whats clearly in front of her as far as all the Jace business goes. She certainly is about the bad kids.

Jawbone can only do so much to help her in her sessions if he's being actively worked against. Emotional regulation is hard to learn from zero AS AN ADULT and she's probably coming from the negatives if my impression is correct, and is doing so as a teenager.

I guess what I'm trying to say is like

In a vacuum? Sure augeforts comment about trying being stupid or whatever does seem like another slap in the face for Kipperlily, one that justifies some of her feelings.

But not about the bad kids. and not to the extent she has taken them.

And to take that at its word feels weird to me because. To anybody paying attention? The bad kids are and have been trying SO SO hard in class. Them having to take the last stand in the FIRST place is specifically because the school system is treating Kristen unfairly DESPITE her best, GOOD efforts. I'm certain the rat grinders are on some level aware of Gorgugs EXTREMELY uphill battle with schoolwork this season, even if it's just Maryann catching part of a convo with Porter or Ruben hearing about it from his uncle. I HIGHLY doubt that Oisin was oblivious to the way that Adaines academics were affected by her not having the money for the correct materials - she still was able to excel mostly but the effects of that roll being at disadvantage for so long are still THERE. Jawbone pinned down and mentioned to Riz his similarities to Kipperlily within maybe 2 seconds - there is 0% chance he hasn't brought something similar up in Kipperlilys sessions. She may not like it, she may not have the emotional intelligence to see it this way, but his efforts almost certainly mirror hers in a way that makes them equally hard workers, absolutely determined to keep themselves afloat despite it being an uphill battle. Something that she feels she deserves to be rewarded for, and to an extent implies that if just a few circumstances were different she would be able to see equal value in his work.

And sure you can say she may be able to see that and be angry that their work is rewarded and hers isn't, but we see time and time again that she and her party don't always put that same level of work in? Mary Ann at blood rush, absolutely uncaring but doing well specifically because she's got some magical enhancements. The suspicious circumstances of Kipperlily finding the Rogue teacher. Even just the natural advantage of Oisin having more than the funds he needs to excel in wizard class.

But even regardless of that, she seems to refuse to see that any scenario in which others are praised for the same thing she's done, while she is ignored etc, is the sole responsibility of the school here. the bad kids are not her enemies in that fight - augefort is. The bad kids are not going around being consistently given advantages from the school, they're earning the things they get and hitting their own academic road blocks, and they aren't acting better than other people in a way that goes beyond like. Teen stuff. And yet her sights are trained so unblinking on them.

I can see Fabian and Kristen's popularity and personalities coming off like it supports that they're being treated better or feel some superiority. And it's teen stuff to quietly hate those ppl at your school! it's p normal!

But it always brings me back to her SPECIFICALLY hating Riz. Bc Riz isn't a rich kid throwing parties that everyone loves. Hes not sniping out comebacks the way Kristen does, sometimes without even thinking. In a lot of ways he's the/one of the least abrasive of the group to an outsider. Which makes me SO much more inclined to call bullshit that this is truly, honestly rooted in an acknowledgement of any of the REAL problems that come up with their school system.

It's complex, but I feel like we can't exalt their perspective as a Truth of the world like it seems some folks do when these characters themselves do not play fairly. What is fair about the way they interfered with the exam. What is fair about what she did so easily to Buddy Dawn. What is fair about the murder of the couple that owned that farm. Depending on what happened - what is fair from them about Lucy's murder. Certainly what is fair about their hand in Yolandas.

This idea that things are unfair isn't untrue. But not in the ways she thinks, and shes moved so far beyond that notion at this point. Kipperlily probably DOES believe that she's uniquely a victim of this system, or at least that everyone but the bad kids is. But she's moved so far beyond that. Whatever divine rage magic is involved has ensured that, as well as probably some Adult manipulation, and severely underdeveloped emotional regulation skills. and for me that means like. obviously she is unjustified in her actions.

Augefort is absolutely unhinged. his school has never been run in a manner that rewards buckling down in the classroom and the classroom only. It's an adventuring school in truly the most chaotic and violence rewarding sense, and that information is given freely by Arthur augefort at maybe any turn

Saw something about the theoretical being just as important as the practical. and yes! absolutely! a very good point that I'm glad was brought up - going to the classes is important and I think this season has really emphasized the ways in which that's true at least in terms of Staying in School and Honing your Skills

I do think, in the same breath, that that STILL means that the practical is ALSO just as important as the theoretical. It CAN'T be one or the other, it HAS to be both.

and the bad kids are DOING both. regardless of what it may count for, the rat grinders xp leveling by continuing to do freshman level combat in order to excel more on paper ISN'T them really doing the practical part of what theyre learning in their higher level classes. And the bad kids do not get credit for their saving of the world REGARDLESS. Not on its own merit, and to get the credit they'd have to jump a hefty academic bar that sort of invalidates the point of practical efforts in the first place, not to mention works against students like Fig and Kristen.

The school is actively rewarding Kipperlily and her party's cheat code practical use of their skills, over the bad kids putting just as much if not more effort into their LITERALLY WORLD SAVING missions. whatever favoritism shes seeing, or that there may be occasionally, Kipperlily fundamentally takes the bad kids in bad faith. It's not ABOUT what is ACTUALLY unfair to her at this point.

from her perspective every accolade or accomplishment from them HAS to come from favoritism in order to fit how her view of whats actually unfair has been warped. for her it doesn't MATTER that they've been trying because they MUST not be trying as hard as she is. it doesn't matter that they visibly saved the world three times, one of which was livestreamed and included several party members dropping, successfully because surely it's a fluke, or they were given better opportunities than others for no reason, or they're being falsely worshipped for what MUST be a less dangerous quest than it seems (despite us seeing clearly on the first day of school that nobody is putting a pedestal up for their night yorb win)

What could have been a justified spark of frustration with a system has shifted into a vengeful sense of entitlement that to me? fully abandons the good of wanting to change a school system actively working against some (/all?) students.

idk maybe this all sounds like jibberish I just

Kipperlily in her current state is INCAPABLE of not underestimating the bad kids bc that would require some acknowledgement that they have worked and bled and died to reach the level they're at.

You cannot separate the girl who sneaks in to the Last Stand to sabotage another party's chances of passing, of staying at school, of continuing school, of one of them from potentially keeping their god alive, and of being brought back from what she assumes is certain death - from the slighted teenager running for class president to make things "more fair"

you cannot separate the girl who easily slits her own party clerics throat without second thought from the girl who thinks she's been slighted by an unjust system

What she means by unfair is inherently colored by her being that same person

Augefort can say whatever nonsense he wants, and it doesn't really justify her current frustrations at this point because her version of fair is fundamentally unfair now.

Shes a child who's become corrupted, just like Buddy. but unlike him - she's become genuinely nefarious and vengeful. Unlike buddy she is actively plotting. Harming others with full knowledge of it. We don't know how much of it comes from her on her own, or the rage baking underground, or Stardiamonds direct involvement - but I think this most recent episode should make it clear that like

Whatever truth there is to the school being run in a way that is unfair to its students, and regardless of what she says or thinks

Kipperlily Copperkettle is not operating from that grounded perspective. and I don't think she has been for a long time

#fhjy #kipperlilly copperkettle #thats all I'm gonna tag #anyway hopefully you can tell that I'm not like. pro everything at augefort #we've seen so clearly teachers / faculty / rules / lack of rules work against the students #ESPECIALLY we've seen how that's effected the bad kids #but Kipperlily is not. on that page anymore.#I won't call her names that's just not how I feel abt.her as a character #I do think a lot of this may still just b EXTREMELY misguided #and ALSO #you're responsible for your actions #thrilled that she is / was??? in some form of therapy #devastated that whatever is going on here big picture has completely warped her perspective #to see her actions as the viable option for her to reach her goals #also this is SO rambling and opinionated I'm down to agree to disagree I'm just #I just needed to vent some abt it and like #explore KLCKs character a little bit #welcome to ignore but I am gonna tag it a LITTLE in case someone wants to chat abt this #long post

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