#no listen yall hes made a friend and he doesnt wanna share

[highpriestess-stuff]

So my day started out well i started with self love affirmations which ive been doing for the past 2 days starting off with a spiritual bath and i must admit it has mad quite a difference im excited to see how this will help me i didnt realise how much i truly needed self love i honestly thought i was such a confident person but im starting to realize how harsh iand negative i can be and im starting to see exactly why all these bitches are jealous of me especially the ones that i work with ive never really had a hard time with making friends but ever since me & T broke but damn did it do a number on me.. Getting cheated the first time was just traumatic & left me with anxiety but having such a strong support system and going to the gym almost like everday and letting it out really helped but this break up just left me completely distraught and just made me not want to live life anymore and isolate myself & i didnt realize how it was affecting all my relationships with my friends my family and co workers like damn this narcissistic gas lighting bitch sucked my fucking soul like end all be all and not a single person there to pick up my pieces my like damn had to get myself out of this shit and i feel powerful as fuck never will i let anyone tear me down like that again LESSON LEARNT: Never settle for less. Took 2 years of my life to realize that but hey it coulda been worse.. still trying to see the positivity in this lol coulda gotten married to this bitch ass but thank god he really had to take me off this path this person refused to understand me & the lesson i learnt was that im not for everybody i am simply a Diving Feminine and we aint for everybody if people dont get u then dont waste your time arguing or explaining yourself cause the right people to get you like how did i become so lost and desperate? i just really wanted him to see me for me i just really wanted to make my family happy .. & he wanted to make his the only difference was im not what his family wanted and u know what thats their loss because as soon as i came out i was told i was going to be a motherfuckin champion it truly is his loss lol he fucked up big time and his family is a peice of shit if they really loved him they would want him to be happy but i guess whats what he deserves OH WELL now i see why they dont want the best for him he deserves exactly that shit even the lord dont want the best for him but me i am truly blessed and protected so thank you Jesus!

Going thru that experience really left me feeling emptier then even it felt like people could also see right thru me it left my fuckin boundaries all over the place i allowed people to step all over me cause i constantly thought i was the problem but now im starting to see i was never the problem its this cruel ass world no matter how nice u are to people or how much u just want to help them because u truly see what the can become and u see their potential it doesnt mean that their going to follow that exact path that u want for them it means giving up control letting people have their own experiences and im just trying to be comfortable with that like hey you wanna go fuck up your life go ahead like who am i to control u not like i got super powers cause if i did bruh. People are wylin & then godforbid i wanna do something for myself then they got a problem like what? are yall on. For example Victoria shes so far up my ass but yet cant even be there for me when i need her like bitch step aside and all day at work today she was so sad like what are u sad for... what happend to that advice that u give everytime "Dont Care" like lets see u do that now you dumbass u look fuckin stupid i have completely lost my respect for her like she looks for pathetic how dare she tell me not to care when i share my feelings with her like hows that going for you? keep ur bitch ass advice to yourself the only reason i ever listened to her was cause i actually respected her i thought she was someone i wanted to be like fuck no! i am so much better then her im better then any of these people how dare they show my any fuckin attitude ever like put some motherfuckin respect on my name or get the fuck out of my face and my energy aura cause i aint for everybody you wanna be around me? show some fuckin respect or get the fuck out because i value myself and my opinions and i can find people who do do i dont need you bitch ass people clearly YOU NEED ME like these people need to realise they need me at the end of the day so show respect or get the fuck out. Even will came in with some wack ass attitude but the second i refused to acknowledge him this nigga really started sucking my dick like are you for real why do i need to be rude like is that what turns you people on like is this why im working in this type of environment to learn that i just need to stay away from people who dont respect my energy why because you people cant do the work and become great like me??? ive done the work ive done the time ive earned to be where the fuck i am and if maybe yall put in the work you guys would be on my level but u aint thats why you bitches are so fuckin miserable and just focused on me unfortunatly thats what comes with the fame and i aint leveling down for no fucking body i came a long fuckin way and i deserve this shit put my crown on again & im knock it off * & this bitch shan like i thought she was the nicest girl ever bitch HAD the audacity to show me attitude like girl do u know who ur dealing with ur 20 nothing its actually cute and laughable because she looks like that character from ice age she thinks shes really doing something i cant with these hoes thinking they affect like.. like bruh this is my partime job lol this is your lifetimes career ofcourse u going to be mad lol stay mad cause what im winning? so u think showing me attitude gonna do something um no it just shows me that ur a terrible person ur disgusting and fuckin ugly i was just being nice and now that youve shown ur true colors i no longer need to loook go crawl back in ur dark cave u hoeeeeeeeeeee.. anyways ill be back for more updates byeeee

[technowoah]

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

TRENDING

ARE YOU OKAY

10.1k tweets

QUACKITY

20k tweets

ARE YOU OKAY QUACKITY?

13.7k tweets

#SoundCloud #mcyt blurb #mcyt angst #mcyt fluff #mcyt x reader #mcyt headcanons #technowoah! #dream smp x reader #quackity x reader #quackity headcannons #quackityhq x reader #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt imagine #quackity imagines #quackity fanfic #alex quackity #dsmp x reader #dsmp headcanon #quackity angst #quackity fluff #mcyt x you #mcyt imagines #inside special!

[starfruits-world]

CC Making Journal day 7- Collars, tailoring, transparent patterns, LODs.

Aka what started as a night full of hope and excitement over nipple lace button downs turns into bowling alley manager uniforms, tiramisu, irl shirt theft, screaming about paint buckets, and disappointment. Yuuri making his cute face is all I can stand. I didnt even go in game for this shirt I was so disappointed. 

First realization- when the mesh is ugly as fuck there is no saving the piece. Just start over. 

Second realization- half sleeve will never be flattering

No matter how these jazzy looking boy pose:

BUt I started off realizing this piece was not a simple 4 piece suit. No- it had many moving parts. So I made my first button down. The original piece had these hideous buttons:

I was pretty happy here.I had, after all, created my first button down with the two pieces n the back, the trim, collar, the whole 9 yards! A certain tofu loving dragon helped me find a collar pattern guide after they caught me blindly making the worst collar known to man on stream. Thank you for your guidance. (I also wasnt sure if the collar was 1,2,or 3 pieces so I stole a shirt from my dads closet. Its still on my bed. I may keep it. He doesnt need it anyway. Its so soft) We were still so naive though. Dofu tried to warn me about the weird sleeve length and frumpy sleeve holes. But I didnt listen. I was too busy screaming:

Yes I did a little peak at the stammi vicino possibilities. I felt so close.But then...

Then... 

It came to open it in S4s...

(at least the white swatch is clean)

And I was met with a huge disappointment. The shoulders are rounded hideously. and the collar stands up weird. And I cant for the love of me figure out where the sim waist pant line is on the Sims 4 male rig for MD. 

Basically I achieved the silhouette “Boy stuffs himself into a button down that is much to small for him” DX I mean if we wanna play chubby Yuuri it works. 

The waist UV didnt copy over from the sim so he has a different body shape. This keeps happening on tops I have partial transparency on so I think this is related to that issue. As I learn more I realize the issues on my cc are all fixable at their various step. Yuuris waist is supposed to be SNATCHED 

Okay some may think the shirt doesnt look bad on Yuuri, right? But I knew something was wrong....when I put it on Victor and his shoulder SUNK INTO HIS BODY: 

THIS IS WHAT HE IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE. 

Oh the disappointment I was met with. Victors beautiful broad shoulders. Decimated. 

(Oh speaking of decimate i managed to get this mesh to be under 12k and then I imported it into s4s it JUMPED TO 20K AND I WAS SHOOK LIKE WTF SO OF COURSE MY OTHER 3 LOD DECIMATES WERE ALL HUGE POLY COUNTS. NONE OF THEM NEAR 500 FOR LOD 3). I was annoyed but had bigger monsters with this piece.

Already deterred by some much disappointment, I almost didnt want to continue on. But I roped my friend in again and we went at the Lace texture. BC AS UGLY ASTHE MESH WAS, THE TRANSPARENCY WORKED. SO I failed the war but won the mission. We shared a few pic me up photos of our good boys and powered on. 

And then I found out in PS version 20 there is NO PAINT BUCKET TOOL.

After screaming over no paint buckets (silently bc my discord audio broke) we tried like 10 different methods. I tried to follow along but boyyyy I had no idea what mask laters or rasterize was. I dont even know how to rotate and combine photos in PS. I was in pain. Perhaps I am still traumatized. But not enough to not keep trying.

By then it was 3am and I had inhaled a piece of tirimisu cake to fend off sadness. I ate my late dinner from a paper plate like the sad bachelorette I am and watched again and again as my friend tried to explain how to make the transparency work. 

Eventually they got it to work. I did but I had the pattern too small. So it was useless. 

Anyway, I had to show SOMETHING so I tried Archive actions weird pants that I cant put on literally any outfit bc its clips awfully on the sim and BAM

CANT YOU JUST SEE HIM IN A BOWLING ALLEY?!?!? UGH

Anyway credits to StinkyDofu here on tumblr and the victuuri birb server, Otaku Sim server, random twitter followers who will not see this image or else my follower count will continue to drop, and NO THANK YOU TO HALF SLEEVED SHIRTS. 

Also heads up usually im not a negative person and wont be as harsh on cc to others as I am to myself. But this particular piece was started with such high expectations and the downfall really hurt. But, like I said, this is all for learning so I will keep going. I love this process fully.

It was calming, the boring parts of cc making. Lowering poly with edge loop deleting, extruding edges, uv mapping, texturing. I love the process no one wants to show in their time skips. 

I’ve already linked the tutorials I used in my last journal. So today i’ll advise yall to watch Grafity-cc on youtube for their great speed meshing blender. I would tag but I am but a measly peasant.

Also of course follow StinkyDofu, DroSims, and Poeticfalls for my sim inspo, teachers, and friend groups. 

#cc making journal #daily cc challenge #ts4cc #ts4 male cc #BOWLING ALLEY AESTHETIC

[kuroosdumbslut]

BNHA Bois and Girls AS: Stoners

* absolutely no one asked for this, only my high ass*

bakugou: ok hear me out, he only got into it because of kaminari and kirishima. when he realized it kinda helped he relax a bit, he started smoking on his own. one time midoriya walked in on him high as all hell and was lowkey scared cause “why is he being friendly, should i  get aizawa????” but he could smell the weed and made sure to write a note under bakugou’s analysis page and add in “stoner”. i could see bakubro smoking at least once a week, minimum. i can see him starting off as a lightweight but building up a pretty good tolerance for it.

kaminari: listen, if you hear random dance parties coming from his room, he is high as a kite. often mina or kirishima are with him, jamming with him also high as fuck lmao. probably gets high every weekend and on stressful days. wait but kaminari is the most fun person to be high with omg, yall go to the store before smoking to get all the favs, and hella water, then its party time: color changing lights, bumpin music and all the snacks you could want or need in these toasty times. kaminari definitely is much more flirty but also a lot less hyper. no matter how many times hes used or for however long, he still hacks his lungs out and his tolerance is that of a small child, but its kinda funny (mina always has his usual set up for when he gets waaaay too high with her)

mina: WHAT A QUEEN omg so she is a SUUUUPER chill stoner, but shes so fucking giggly oh my god if you say something even remotely funny she will be in fucking stitches for at least 10 minutes. she is most likely to be the one to remind her stoner friends to drink some water and care for newbies or lightweights who get high too fast ONE TIME omg one time ochako tried and got way too high (stronger bud) and gave her some candy and snacks, a whole bottle of water and cuddled up with her on the bed to make sure she wouldn’t accidentally fall or get hurt. shes got a good tolerance for it, and she knows her limits. gets high pretty often, 3 or 4 times a week

kirishima: this boy is totally the type to do a full workout and then flop on a couch to be as lazy as he can. like, he gets a workout in, comes back to his area, and just flops down on a couch, his bed, anything and eatches tv until he passes out. if hes with FRIENDS THO hes much more active and participating in dance offs with kaminari. hes kinda a lightweight, but hes careful to not get too high. really only gets high when hes in sad boi times or if he needs to unwind.

jirou: surprise, she blasts alt and emo music and regardless of whether or not that the others type of music, everyone gathers to her anyways to chill. will give people emo makeovers if they ask for one or looking ljme they want one. midoriya was her favorite to do because he straight up just looks like a baby e-boy instead lmao. fairly good tolerance, but is careful with other people (once she got too high and had a bad trip, mina let jirou stay with her that night). gets high strictly only at night, usually one or twice in a week depending on if shes overly stressed

midoriya: doesnt smoke all too often, but when he does, he needs supervision or at the very least someone nearby. 10000% will share wild thoughts with kaminari. he also seems like the type to go and stargaze for hours just to fall asleep in the grass lmao. poor baby is a lightweight and just a few puffs will get him suuuuper high. midoriya has and will continue to go to bakubro when hes too high. bakugou takes pity on him in those times (midoriya doesnt get high often, that might be why) and will let him chill with him until he’s coherent enough.

todoroki: ok but he definitely smokes by himself every night to ease his mind. like, all that shit he went through? yeah. sometimes if he really doesnt wanna be by himself, he’ll go to midoriya or bakugou and smoke with them. surprisingly, (or maybe unsurprisingly idk) hes super productive when hes high so he’ll do homework or clean his room or something.

*thats all i can think of rn but if you want more characters as stoners, lemme know*

#boku no hero academia #bnha #my hero academia #mha #boku no hero headcanons #my hero academia headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #bakugou #bnha bakugou #bakugou headcanons #bakugou katsuki #kirishima #kirishima eijirou #mha kirishima #bnha kirishima #kaminari #bnha kaminari #kaminari headcanons #kaminari denki #bnha mina #mina ashido #mha jirou #jirou kyouka #bnha midoriya #midoriya izuku #mha todoroki #todoroki shouto

[songsorter28]

Blackpink: The Album Review

Okay, this is the first time i’ve done this and the truth is i don’t know how, so i’ll just try my best.

First of all: I am a Jennie biased blink. That means I have no trustworthy sense of criticism when it comes to them and if you do, this is probably not the place for you. I will try to talk about this album with a sense of criticism, but sometimes, i’m just gonna like a song because it’s blackpink and y’all just gotta deal with it.

BUT, I am not afraid of saying i don’t like things that the pinks have said it to like, which is actually how i’m starting this review. So, if you guys are all about loving the girls and emotion and “think about how they must feel” this is a decision made by the girls, this place is also not for you either. I am a blink and i share a lot of love for those four women, but i am also a consumer of their work as artists. I will complain if I didn’t get something I thought was necessary as a viewer and listener for my money and attention to be spent. I will not, of course, hate on them in any way.

Ok, before anything:

1) English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 2) Here, we’re gonna talk about the cover, pre-release single choices, writing credits, tracklist and my honest opinion about the album as a whole.

a) The Cover:

There’s not a lot to talk about but the fact that it’s gorgeous, but simple. I didn’t understand why a crown if the name was The Album (something unoriginal to be honest, but i’m not 100% against it) and there’s no reference to royalty throughtout the album besides maybe Jennie’s rap “didn’t want to be a princess”. I did find the cover visually pleasing tho, could be much more embarrasing.

b) Writing credits and Track List:

This one is quick. I’m extremely glad Jennie and Jisoo were credited as songwriters (Jennie as well as a composer) but Teddy gotta give Danny Chung to god. He hates rapper Jennie and he’s the reason Lisa doesn’t write. He’s always in charge of the raps so teddy gets confortable and Lisa doesn’t get a chance to write her own verses, which is something the sure thing cover showed us she can do. Also, he hates rapper Jennie to the point where she had to write her rap on the title track (wich is good, but, you know what i mean) and wasnt even given a chance to write more than 8 seconds. Melanie I hope this is the last time you were here. Loren you can stay. Tommy and Ryan yall were cute we had fun but it’s over let’s move one (seriously, these producers really made me appreciate Teddy more lmao pls sir never leave us). Okay that’s it. Now, to the track list.

I will be talking about the fact this shouldn’t even be called a full album on the My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole topic.

1. How You Like That

I say my opinion more detailed on the next topic but at at essence. Cute. A good opener to the album and what is to come, but too much of a bside to even be a pre release single.

6.5/10

2. Ice Cream

Again, my opinion it’s on the next topic. Cute song. Loved Chaennie’s high notes and wish i didn’t know english so the rap didnt sound that silly. Not as bad as blinks and non blinks make it out to be. 

6.12/10

3. Pretty Savage

I kinda also talked about that in the next topic lmao. It has everything a blackpink song should have. There’s been some controversy about Lisa “born skinny bitch” but Lisa was talking about herself since she has been body shamed through her whole career. She was right and she should say it. You’re entitled to feel uncomfortable but that’s just the thing she wasn’t talking about me or you. She was taking her pain and wearing like an armor. This was a diss track for the haters. Taking that away from her because of our own issues it’s kinda mistreating hers.

8.82/10

4. Bet You Wanna

Yes you guessed it right I talk more about it next topic. It’s a bop. Loved Jennie here. She has such a versatile voice I was very proud to hear her. And Cardi was also good. Just hope Lisa will get her rap part live cause she didn’t have much lines here. But I loved Jenlisa’s brigde. Rosé’s adlibs peak perfection and Jisoo’s chorus and english that’s what i’m talking about. The chorus can be a little repetitive and it kinda ends a bit suddenly but it doesnt bother me much.

8.37/10

5. Lovesick Girls

WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE OTHER THAN BEST BLACKPINK TITLE TRACK? Love that for me. It was so different than anything they’ve done so far, the lyrics were AMAZING, the message behind it also, the visuals in the MV, storylinne, RAPPER JENNIE OMG, she got the most memorable line “didn’t want to be a princess, i’m priceless” i love her tf the shade to the yg princess title and her scene in the car and in the mental hospital(will not touch on the controversies cause that was annoying) also Lisa’s rap/singing with a flow in the begining her voice OMG I WAS SHOOKEDT. Jisoo’s high note in the brigde? Rosé?? perfect.

10/10

6. Crazy Over You

Rapper Jennie for the last time with a 8 second rap again but LET’S BE POSITIVE. A bop. I loved the i. went. crazy. over. you. I love the lyrics. It bother a bit this much english but it’s bp’s idendity so i’m fine with it.

8.5/10

7. Love To Hate Me

This was a predictable song in the best possible way. Easily one of their best songs. There’s honestly nothing left to say. Also. Lisa’s rap. Maybe Danny Chung deserves some points. It even felt like she was a feat in the song like her flow yall just perfection.

9.4/10

8. You Never Know.

Great song I left with depression.

I like how this album talks with haters and blinks, it really shows a different side from the pinks. Only a few know the emotion Jennie starting off “but you never know unless you walk in my shoes [...] cause everybody sees what they wanna see, it’s easier to jugde it than to believe”. It was written by Loren, a close friend from the girls and the boy who’s Jenlichaeng  boyfriend in the LSG’s MV and Bekuh Boom, a producer who’s been with them for really long, but if anyone got a conspirancy theory that they were involved in the songwriting process of the song, sign me up. You don’t need proves. I believe you. ALSO JISOO GOT MOST LINE ON THIS ONE and we got singer Lisa. After a while, it become my favorite song from the album. Now, it’s my favorite song from their discography. Debate your mother.

9.62/10

c) Pre-Release single Choices: 

I can’t stress about this enough. Whoever was in charge for the single choices needs to go to jail. Not that HYLT is bad (at all) but comparing to the rest of the songs, it look MUCH more like a powerful bside than Love To Hate Me and Pretty Savage ever will. I will lecture later how Pretty Savage was the perfect choice to first release single, just wait. Now, to the controversial Ice Cream. To be honest, i found the song super cute and i think the MV was one of their best. It was different and refreshing, love that for me. But the whole sequence of events that turned out to that disasterous twitter timeline, with constant attacks to the girls especially Lisa over things they cannot control such as line distribuition and a sabotage from antis on yt comment section, was something I kinda already saw it coming. Ice Cream is Blackpink’s most successful single to date, but it was a bad choice from the start (I will talk about that in a second). For starters, YG decided not to promote the song well. While announcing the single, they gave us a poster with pictures from a summer package released months before. And each week they kept doing that, only using actual teaser photos in the release week. The hype was pretty much out. I can’t say my timeline is 100% blink because i have way too many fandoms that i’ve been following for longer than i’ve known kpop, but compared to the HYLT hype, they were pretty down and that’s on YGE. Also, ever since coachella, it’s been antecipated by fans and artists the possibility of a Blackpink x Ariana Grande (one of the most popular singes these last couple of years). The idea of an Aripink collab got blinks (who were already with an eye wide open after Blackpink was seen with Tommy Brown, Ari’s basically oficial producer, who has been producing for her ever since her second album and was reponsible for many hits of her latest project, Thank U, Next, such as 7 rings and Thank U, Next) even more hyped when YG announced (one of those old photoshoot posters. I’m sorry I will never let that go that company is so trash) that Blackpink’s second release was going to be a collaboration with a western artist, and Ariana herself like Jennie’s instagram post about the next single. I cannot put in words the reaction of my twitter timeline when YG confirmed that the collab was actually with Selena Gomez. 

Now, on a more personal note. 

You see, I actually like Selena. I like her songs, besides the critics. Perfect is pop perfection. Waverly Place is the best disney show ever since That’s So Raven. But, to a collab made to the US market, and besides the success of Rare, Selena isn’t a sales force like Adele or Taylor Swift, nor a streaming force like Ariana Grande. Nothing takes my theory that this was supposed to be an aripink collab but, for some reason, she dipped and then interscope (blackpink us label and selena’s label) picked her. Selena showed us a good time and promoted the girls more than YGE did but, it wasn’t a surprise when the song didn’t get a top 10 (a top 13 is really good tho, don’t get me wrong). 

Now back to the story telling

Selena was more than a feat, she sang the whole damn song, getting more vocal lines the the entire vocal line. She’s only a few seconds behind Lisa, who got the most lines in general. I understand that it is a collab, but this is the girls’ single. Why would they want to listen to them for only 16 seconds, the amount of time Rosé got? That set a bunch of solo stans (something that exists more in this fandom than everywhere else) to boycoitt the release, a huge fansite even taking out their funds for the full album (that was low, even for a solo account. JisooBar, you aint seeing heaven). Did i think it was a little of overeacting? As someone who’s an army that had to handle Not Today’s line distribuition, and especially since we’re talking about the main vocalist, someone who will for sure have more lines in the future (as she did), kinda. But, like i said, it was a bomb getting ready to explode at any minute. If it wasn’t that it’d be something else. That being said, NOTHING will ever justify the nastyness y’all did with Lisa and even Jennie’s comment section. Nothing. That was ridiculous even for solo stans. BUT for people who got worried about Lisa’s lack of posts after the release, don’t worry. She didn’t post a lot because Thailand is going through some stuff and I don’t think she has YGe’s permission to talk about it (when I catch the ones in power on that company istg). 

Wow, that was long. At essence, it  was a bad choice for several reasons, but i enjoyed the song a lot. Can’t wait for the live performances with chaesoo’s lines.

Now, back to HYLT. It was greatly promoted, it stopped Zico’s (huge in korea) releases and a bunch of other big artists in South Korea. Got 7 Perfect All-Kills and would’ve gotten more than 12 if the charts weren’t reforming at the time. It also broke a lot of records, and repeated Sour Candy’s position on the bb100 on #33. It’s another very Blackpink song that  I enjoyed but kinda aged. Many non blinks didn’t like it but it’s not like they were ever going to admit they liked a bp song. They’re annoying. The song’s biggest problem is probably the 2015 edm in the chorus. Like. Teddy. You gotta let that go. It’s time. He kinda heard us in the album. But, these kinds of songs are very liked by the general public, especially the korean one. An interview was made asking the general public if blackpink should change concepts and they said a bit fat no. So that tells what you need to know. And that it why i think Pretty Savage should have been the first pre release single. 

Okay, let me tell you another series of event. Back on november 2019, when we were starving because YGe does not like money, BlackpinkBar, a big fansite, payed trucks to be sent to YG building during a whole day demanding for better treatment to Blackpink. You can find all the demands online, but at essence, when it came to music related, blinks always mention: Jisoo’s lines, screen time and blackpink in your area, Main Rapper Jennie, Lisa dance break, Rosé’s high note. On HYLT, we got nothing. And everyone had to shrug it off saying it was just a pre release single, BUT it would be better hyped by blink and the hype to the second pre release would’ve lasted longe if PRETTY SAVAGE, who has basically all of that, was the pre release single. It would’ve assured us of so much. Jisoo said bp in your area twice, she RAPPED, she was singing, she could’ve had more screetime and center time especially bc she’s on all chorus. Jennie Main Rapper would go back and we wouldn’t have to be blue balled (which caused the ice cream meltdown)every single release and only having to wait till the title track and only to have a 8 SECOND RAP. I won’t talk about that now. Moving on. Rosé wouldn’t get a high note, but she would’ve gotten the brigde all to herself and the next pre release single, bet you wanna (wait for it), she would get those incredible adlibs. And Lisa’s dance break. Not only this is bp’s most danceable song and has a bunch of lisa’s raps, it also has jennie’s outro, where for a least 20 seconds lisa could’ve thrived. Yall we were robbed.

Now, real quick, back to Ice Cream. In a perfect world (or just a world where YG’s current ceo) had brains, if they wanted a collaboration to show the pink side of blackpink, with a poppy song and sassy lyrics, the artist not to be in the whole song, and to have an artist who would driven attention from the locals and is a big streaming force, THEY WOULD’VE CHOSEN BET YOU WANNA. My biggest problem with bet you wanna is Lisa’s lack of lines, which could cause stuff and well we just miss her they could have added a rap even for 8 seconds, BUT, seeing her all around pretty savage and knowing she’s gonna have Cardi’s rap during live performances would cool things down. Since we were in the middle of a pandemic, instead of a mv like ice cream where they had to do it separately, they could’ve done something like IU’s eight. A huge part in animation and a few with people. Literally YG why are you so dumb. Bye.

d)  My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole:

I did some math (lol) and my rank for The Album is 8.4. It’s easily one of the best releases from this year and I loved it so much, but something were left to be desired and i think i could pass everything and just turn a blind eye at things, except one: the fact we waited for 4 years, watched all ggs and yg groups getting comebacks last semester and only got 8 songs. Loona is releasing a mini album with that amount of songs. Stray Kids and BTS’s mini albums are longer than that. It was bad enough KTL had 4 songs and a remix (a joke) with 2 songs lacking raps and no rapper jennie only for them to carry YG’s dirty name after what their protected boys did. I legit hate it here they didn’t even had 30 minutes, their longest song wasn’t even 4 minutes. Also, before anyone says anything about the girl’s interview about quality over quantity. I’d like to say that i understand them having that when it comes to have one comeback a year and i’m honestly okay with that. But their first full album? 8 songs? Are you kidding me? Like I said, I’m a consumer. I refuse to receive this half assed excuse about quality over quantity when they had more than enough time to produce and write more than 8 quality songs? what, is impossible to write more than one song per moth? these songs have formulas, they can be made more than 8 times. A blackpink album its more than a thousand reals here. That 90% of a sallary. And please don’t come with the “if you don’t want it just don’t buy it” “you can just unstan them” bc that’s not the case. I love their songs. I love the girls. But I’m a consumer of their art and if they want to be takend seriously as artists, they gotta do more than 8 songs on a full album. It’s unfair to anyone that isn’t a diehard fan willing to sell out an overpriced photobook in hours. That’s not the only kind of fan blackpink needs. they need the store locals, the people who are not on twitter or tumblr or instagram. Cause those locals are gonna stay like they stayed with adele and taylor swift. stan twitter is much more likely to leave them with time.

Side note: I’m tired of commenting on rapper Jennie so I’ll just say Jennie deserves better than 8 second raps as the main rapper of the group. That doesnt mean I want Lisa to not rap or to Jisoo not to sing, as many will say bc apparently that’s what people hear when we say main rapper who trained for 6 years to be a main rapper should rap on at least most title tracks even if not on all songs.

But yeah, that’s it. Besides the unfortunate final note, I loved The Album and now Blackpink it’s my second most listened artist of all time. They were top 13 before the album.

#Blackpink Jisoo Jennie Rosé Lisa TheAlbum The Album AlbumReview Album Review Kpop

[euphorieds]

oh finally ur here bitch u got a dollar ?? so i can go buy some LOVE AND AFFECTION ,, open ur purse i kno u hav it !!! anywaysjkhskehjks tiktoks literally making up my entire identity aside ,, hi ! i’m mira , im 19 nd its so nice 2 meet yall !!!

♡. jung haein. cismale. he/him. — there goes ARTHUR KANG, who appears to be a TWENTY-NINE year old VAMPIRE. word is the ELEMENTARY TEACHER was born in 1991 and has been in town for A YEAR. you might know them as + SINCERE  and - RETICENT. stray paint on his cheek, smiles dipped in sunlight & gold, late nights through winding streets, polaroids of anything & everything covering walls. 

life b4 the vampire stuffz

so arthur was born to a Human single mom nd had a little sister younger by 9 years who he adored Very Much , and they lived in a small apartment above his mom’s restaurant . they weren’t like ... Totally Rich ? nd they had their struggles,, but arthur was always v content nd happie w his life bc he had his mom nd sister nd thats what rly mattered !!

he was popular in school bc of his ~good looks~ nd also bc he was just a rly friendly nd dependable person !! nd he had his Fair share of confessions from both guys nd girls but he was always like “no sorry!! im not v interested in dating” nd then he’d go home to his mom nd his little sister nd when he was done w all his schoolwork, he’d help out at the restaurant

his mama always complained abt the Swarms of fans that hogged tables at the restaurant nd it was in good nature !!! but arthur had to go convince his fans 2 buy smth so his mom wouldnt throw a towel at him

arthur graduated high school nd decided to get into teaching bc he just loved being able to see the way his sister’s eyes lit up when she understood what he was teaching !! he thought it was v sweet nd endearing :( <3 so when he wasn’t studying, he was working at his mom’s restaurant even tho she always told him to go away nd live his life JHHDJK

so . in college . while he was drinking w a few friends . he also realized he was Very Much Bisexual when he was looking at his guy friend nd was like oh thats rly nice nd then told his mom nd she jus patted his cheek nd said good job . 

anyways JHGHDK he graduated college , got that slappin degree nd got into teaching at a local but private elementary school !! so he was getting that coin !!! and this is the part where his life got turned upside down !!!

arthur met june when he was 28 . they had come 2 the restaurant and eventually, the pair struck up a friendship (mostly bc arthur was Intrigued that a vampire would eat normal food like he knew they could but he was like ... why tho ) . and june jus kept coming to the restaurant everyday . they became close, hung out after hours all the time, nd arthur was rly thinking like ... did he have feelings or is this jus a good friendship ?

anyways those feelings backfired bc the whole time arthur had known june,,, they’d been slowly exchanging their blood w his in hopes of turning arthur . why ? we dont know (it was for fun nd bc they Could)

so arthur . he turned bc eventually the magic took hold , nd june disappeared . in response , arthur locked himself up in his room nd tried to jus . undo what june did . bc he didnt want to live forever, but he didnt want to die either bc he still has friends around, and his family .

after the vampire stuffz ...

arthur was So Scared of hurting the ppl he loved , nd he tried to last as long as possible w/o feeding on animals or ppl nd isolating himself, but it just . didnt work . so arthur took himself out of his confinement, packed all his things nd left home for coeur cove . he never told his mom or his little sister , nd he feels Immense Regret for not saying anything .

a year in coeur cove meant that he took up a job teaching at the local elementary school, nd it was one of the few things that rly made him smile !! he also bought a polaroid camera , nd has a habit of just taking photos of everything that makes him happy bc hes licherlaly just terrified of living for a long time nd not being able 2 remember the small things

honestly he still hates the fact he’s a vampire but he jus doesnt think abt it .... arthur: we are Compartmentalizing laidease ... we do not See .

now hes just ?? hes jus vibing . hes still as sweet as he was back then but hes definitely a lot more ?? secretive abt a lot of things . he doesnt talk abt who he was b4 Turning :( bc hes scared to .. hes jus baby .. 

wanted connections

a frIEND .... listen these are limitless i want him to have FRIENDS but its just gonna be like ... no one knows Anything abt him before coeur cove nd he keeps it that way . but hes someone who will listen 2 ur problems and also get into the weirdest positions to take a good fuckin photo of u !!! (unLIMITED spots ....)

give him an Almost Romantic Relationship ... but they fell out bc he just never opened up JHSSJKSHJKS listen the DRAMA of that .. very sexy . (1/1 w/ katherine carter)

close friend .... this is the One Person . Or Two People . in all of coeur cove who know abt his past ... like . these are the ppl he’d consider a True Ride or Die . there’s som MAJOR trust for these ppl bc he liCHERALLY jus says nothing abt who he was (0/2)

neighbor(s) who put(s) up with arthur and the occasional loud noises that come from his apartment but no he aint smashing hes just very clumsy and has too much knockable furniture in his place 

give me like .... ppl who he Parents unintentionally . hes been taking care of his little sister his whole life,, hes an elementary school teacher .... ppl who hes gonna say “say bye bye bus” out loud to and then be Mortified for the rest of his life . but if ur ever sick he shows up w soup nd is like ‘hoW could u get sick do u not eat ur vitamins ??’

also u know what would be absolutely sexy . give me june . i actually should put a wanted connection for this but can u imagine the absolute DRAMA of arthur meeting the person who ruined his life . i think that’d b VERY sexy . anyways . im keeping this in mind 4 later jHSJHSHSKSJ

going off from the top one give me like . an enemy .... or like they jus cant fucking stand each other for some reason nd its like .. arthur when he sees them: oh :) . hello :). would u like 2 be dropkicked :) ?

anyways gOD ok my brain tiny but like.... lms if u wanna plot... u better lms or i’ll aggressively renegade on dash...

#coeurintro #no one: #me: RENEGADE RENEGADE DOOHWAP HAH HAH #its almost 3am but i felt the Urge to check my laptop nd whEW glad i did that ... coeurcove soft open babey !!!

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

#Anonymous #sorry if this is a mess but i got a lot of feelings abt the shitty advice that's out there for addicts and i dont know shit except my ideas #and all i can do is pass it along but pls still remember there are plenty more things that could work so if these dont strike a chord lmk #and i can try to think of more and reach out to my friends who are addicts and see what works for them #i love you i love you and i love you and i like you

[chaeinedup]

The tag game 🌼

rules: just choose between the two options crossing out the one you don’t like, also tag a few people who might want to play this game

get a m-rated private dance performance by yunho – vs – get serenaded an m-rated song by jongho  (both would be paradise tbh ahahah)

skiing trip with seonghwa & yeosang – vs – summer vacation with hongjoong & mingi  

always laugh at wooyoung – vs – always get laughed at by san  (he laughs at everything and being a sagittarius myself getting laughed at doesnt bother us cause we’re confident and just dont care about others but we also dont mind it if we knoow its for teasing purpuses, we do that too ahahah)

get judged by seonghwa – vs – get ignored by mingi  (if there’s something i can’t stand is getting ignored specially by the people i love and Mingi being my bias and me being completly and utterly in loe with him i would go crazy)

only text with san – vs – only phone call hongjoong (to me this is a trick question because i prefer texting (i get embarassed easily while on the phone ahah) but i wouldnt be able to be with them for a really long time cause tours and stuff so yeah)

write a diss rap about jongho and perform it in front of ateez – vs – yunho criticizing your dancing skills in front of everyone  (soooo even tho i hate being criticized specislly infront of people but i wouldnt do that to jongho and i have no reasons to do sooooo)

do aegyo for wooyoung – vs – do a sexy dance for hongjoong  (i cant be either cute orsexy but if i had to chose one i would go for aegyo but never do it for another 39498374 years)

be san’s best friend – vs – go on one date with seonghwa (friendships are way more valuable to me than relationships soooooo yeah im sorry seonghwa ahah )

have multiple dates with yeosang but never go further – vs – make out with wooyoung every time you meet but never become a couple  (okay the second one very tempting WAY MORE THAN IT SHOULD but such thing doesnt match my personality thats something i wouldnt do doesnt matter if im deeply in love or not )

share deep thoughts with hongjoong – vs – do something fun with mingi  (i love doing fun things and with Mingi :((( would be so fun but im a child and i play all the time already so fun moments would be way more frequent and serious conversations really mean a lot to me and i love to have them and to have one with hongjoong ooof yes please that boys is an angel and i want his advice)

hook up with san but he can’t stop laughing when looking at you – vs – yeosang calling you in the middle of the night crying over someone else  (I WOULD KILL THE PERSON THAT MADE HIM CRY so i choose the other option ahahhaha)

get tickled by yunho – vs – play with seonghwa’s hair  (i dont wanna start kicking and punching yunho sjdbsksjs also i love playing w ppl’s hair and hwa’s hair looks so soft ngl)

go on vacation with ateez at the wave setting – vs – do a treasure hunt with ateez in your backyard  (i love treasure hunting buuut the vacation would last longer so i would spen more time with them ahaha)

lend wooyoung’s sweater – vs – mingi offering you his jacket  (okay so i consider myself very insentive when it comes to love IM SORRY ITS THE TRUTH ahahha but that would be cute ahahah)

go for a long walk on the beach with jongho – vs – cuddle up by the bonfire with hongjoong (listen yall going on walks is cute jongho is cute it would be cuuuuuuute)

i really thought these through ahahha Thanks you @ateenz for tagging me i looove you 💕💕💕 im tagging @aurora-waves @softmingis @sundropsoo @sunnhos @meinyunho @softforyunho @saniimoon @04flower @honeyjoongie 💖💖💖

#the tag game #Wonderful moots 💗 #thanks for taggin me #love yall

[handslows]

Iftheresnolove*tumblr*com/post/161469208020/can-you-clarify-what-you-meant-when-you-said-niall iftheresnolove*tumblr*com/post/161431496800/i-feel-like-the-thing-with-niall-depends-on-who It's just the comparisons to me show obvious bias in Harry's favor. Also people just don't listen to Niall? I see people freak out over some comments by harry or Louis, but Niall has made clearer statements and they get brushed over?

lmao the first link is also a load of bullshit....i dont even know where to begin...

"Has he ever been in love? How many times? Has he ever been in a relationship? How many times? What was his longest one?” when harry and louis are asked about their personal lives yall get mad but suddenly you wanna know about nialls???

“Beyond One Love Manchester and what he’s done as a part of 1D, is he interested in philanthropy”?? bitch what?? where were you during the justin rose foundation and soccer aid??? he also went to a rays of sunshine event didnt he??

she keeps talking about how she “doesnt know anything about niall” but thats just because she doesnt pay attention?? niall fans know?? 

and always talking about the “GP” as if it was a tangible thing....its not. also the GP doesnt give a fuck about any of their personal lives and all these details you wanna know?? im a casual fans of many celebrities and i dont care about their personal lives (i love ariana to death and didnt even know she was dating mac miller?)

and yeah that comparison with harry...lol: “I miss his goofy social media and his arsty instagram pictures and I wish he would tell anecdotes about his friends and open up about his life and feelings, but he doesn’t want to.” but then you complain about niall being fun on SM and joking with his friends and sharing anecdotes of his life like when hes cooking or stuck in traffic. you miss these things about harry but say niall is faking being relatable for doing it.

im speechless 

#Anonymous

[bpdkipland]

literally do them all lmao For the strawberry: a lizard person, a little gray alien, an orb, and the Burger King himself For mr horse: ur opinion on the Charmin toilet paper bears

thank you so much anon fuc ily 

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone? 

yikes startin out w a hard one then um when i was a kid i had such a stressful emotional time that it caused me to wet the bed until i was like 12 or 13? it was fuct up 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be? 

probs my crush or my friend jacob bc he gives gr8 hugs ♥♥

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why? 

Lugia bc when i was little i had a card that was all holographic and it had lugia on it. i never really got super into pokemon lol 

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like? 

oh god it would be a mess 

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had? 

honestly the only one coming to mind is the one i had as a kid where this creature opened up its head and ate my sister and im still scared of going outside in the dark to this day bc of it 

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend? 

i have multiple best friends but theyre mostly all there for me whenever i need them? like one time jacob drove from the other side of town to give me earbuds bc i had lost mine 

😘 talk about your crush or partner 

GOD my crush is a literal angel???? like????? hoy fuk i love her so much she’s so sweet and kind and caring and she just radiates light and love and i got to kiss her on new years ♥♥♥♥

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back? 

depends on HOW rude they were. like,... i was nice to my ex for so long lol 

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!) 

i like my nose, freckles, and the fact that im Nice

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it? 

well its being abandoned by everyone i love and guess what thats starting to happen and im coping lmao

🎁 what never fails to make you happy? 

this video

💙 what annoys you about some people? 

if they chew with their fockin mouth open i die 

😤 do you get angry easily? 

nope i actually am pretty slow to anger lol 

🐇 what do you always daydream about? 

do intrusive thoughts of people coming on to me count 

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change? 

well no offense but republicans would be illegal. sent off to an island not allowed to communicate with the rest of the world lol, strawberries would be in season year round, and weed would be legal bc i cant think of anything else 

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry? 

kiss: orb ♥♥befriend: lizard person kill: k i l l t h e b o r g (burger king) marry: gray alien 

✈️ what is your dream city and why? 

ive not been to any good cities so i dont know 

☕️ talk about your ideal day 

hanging out with all my friends, they dont all hate each other, we all watch movies in a big cuddle puddle and im in the middle of it ♥♥

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert? 

definitely an ambivert. 

💧 when was the last time you cried? 

fuck????? i dont remember???? my eyes welled up yesterday does that count 

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment 

in no particular order: 1. Come On Eileen 2. Insomnia (by Dirty Heads) 3. Birdhouse in Your Soul4. Ana Ng5. Moving On (by James)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why? 

pyrokinesis so i can light all abusers on fire lol 

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say? 

Listen, kid, there’s a reason you hate yourself and there’s a reason you wanna die all the time but lemme tell you, it ain’t worth it. those hospital stays aren’t worth it. you might not believe it but you’re over 250 days clean! didn’t think you’d make it this far, huh? you also made it to 18 years of age. you’re gonna be okay, kid. 

💚 who are you jealous of and why? 

myself when i’m in a nice mood bc like??? shut yo nice ass up 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why? 

bravery honestly. i have reasons but i dont have words for the reasons rn 

🙊 what are you ashamed of? 

um that secret i told the fuck

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn? 

i know English and tiny bits of French and i’d love to become fluent in French and Italian? 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be? 

i wanna be best friends with mike wazowski 

☁️ talk about your dream universe. 

???????

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today? 

it’s a bit late but did do some dishes for my mom cleaned off my desk so i could start painting again :> 

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why? 

new c/r/yptid: Lance Cube.

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike 

y’know when ur eyes just start crying when the rest of u is fine?? like wow i didnt know i was supposed to be emotional but ig???? 

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately 

i’m anxious because my doctors office isnt giving my medical records to the michigan works people im working with so they cant open a case for me, making it so they cant help me find a job bc of my mental illnesses 

   🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

 i wanted to be a veterinarian but now i wanna be a zookeeper 

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods? 

i loooove peach rings and sour patch kids and !!!! strawberry shortcake 

🍑 what are you obsessed with? 

animal crossing tbh i love it so much 

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed? 

i get auditory hallucinations and i just start crying no matter what stressed mood im in. angry stressed? crying. happy stressed? crying. anxious stressed? crying 

😪 what are you sick of? 

having kidney disease??? ?

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker? 

i mean? sometimes? but yall gotta talk me into going on roller coasters 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have? 

red beet eggs are my LIFE if i could eat them daily i would die, peppers are fucking gross, and tea is fucking gross unless its Tea 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person? 

i like to think i am a good person? 

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies? 

draw & sing!!!! 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself? 

You Ain’t No Saint by Aaron West and The Roaring Twenties 

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

I’m annoying. I plan on improving it by shutting my ass up 

 🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

i draw people and eyes mainly. and the occasional hand 

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams? 

i’m too shy and bisexual for this 

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you? 

fuck i dont remember i just know i have the same one as Fox Mulder and thats why it fits me lmao

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite! 

...u didnt give me 3 ppl.... 

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why? 

mothman because he’s my boyfriend 

🐴 opinion on __? (Charmin Toilet Paper Bears) 

they wipe my ass for me 

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person? 

i used to be. now im not so sure. 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them. 

yall i’ve only read 3 books 

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i usually mope around and sleep a lot. it doesnt help usually. 

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad? 

Death Anxiety 

🌍 which country do you live in? 

USA! 

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words 

needy, petty, and damaged 

🐵 which quotes changed you? 

“What’s your Fursona” - @thebpdevil“Your job is to break death’s heart” 

💭 do you keep a diary? 

I keep a bullet journal!! i think thats kinda similar 

💫 who inspires you? 

honestly my dad??? but also idk :/ 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why? 

hell YES because i am one

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like? 

department store clearance section & band merch 

🎬 what are some of your favourite films? 

Heathers, Taken, Girl Interrupted, and if u watch the OA in one shot it counts as a movie i’m counting it 

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory? 

Throwing mashed potatoes at my sister. 

🐱 what’s your dream pet like? 

Cat snake (ferret) who loves to cuddle and doesnt bite :-) 

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be? 

probably???? um???? Patrick Stump or Pete Wentz honestly. 

HOO THIS WAS FUN AND IT TOOK OVER AN HOUR TO DO THANK YOU 

#asks #anon #Anonymous