#no more drama no more tears no more trying to change the past

[lethalchiralium]

since you've been on an angst train with the happiness aus lately, could we possibly see a little more of Simon and misuss' interactions after she lost the baby? you wrote it so well, and so raw. it was very heart breaking, but beautiful to watch them grieve and grow together.

More Than I Could Ask For | Happiness Series

a/n: i got you homie

warnings: mentions of miscarriages, medical jargon, trauma, grieving. mentions of not eating. mentions of breastfeeding.

summary: Losing a baby is difficult, Simon knows that. But as he takes care of you, all he wishes for is for you to not feel the pain anymore.

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It was hard, Simon couldn’t deny that.

He hasn’t felt pain like this since he was a boy, being reprimanded for helping a girl on the playground when she had fell. He really liked her, but his father had beat him to a pulp for even looking in her direction. That’s when he grew scared to even make friends, to make connections because his father had beat into him that everyone will leave him. Everyone.

But, as you rested your head on his chest, he knew that you wouldn’t. The television was playing one of your favorite drama series, one you used to watch all the time when you were just Winnie’s nanny. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t grateful for you loving him too.

The doctor appointment today confirmed that the tissue was dispelled and you were no longer pregnant, now came the recovery period. He had drove you home in unwilling silence, trying to get you to laugh or talk or something, but you kept your eyes fixated out your window. It was normal for you now, for the past four weeks since he found you in the bathroom. Short answers, barely talking to him but still conversing with your daughters normally, like nothing happened.

Was he tired of it? Yes. Did he understand that you needed space? Yes, but only after he talked to Price about it. He was close to ripping his hair out because you wouldn’t talk to him, but Price had pulled him from the edge. She’ll talk when she’s ready.

He was going to have to start having Soap and Gaz check on you during the day, more issues were coming up and his deployment was getting closer. Unfortunately, it would be only him, Price, and König - a friend he hasn’t seen in a long time. It wasn’t that he hated his friends, it’s just that he had the urge to stay at your side no matter what. Melt his bones down and create a physical tie from him to you, just so he could be around you. He noticed that your hair had grown out, you would have gone to the hairdresser by now to fix it. He still brushed it gently in the mornings, one less thing you would have to worry about.

You were a shell, haunting him and he couldn’t emotionally handle it. He needed you back, he needed you to smile again.

He noticed way too much of your change. Sleeping more, trying your hardest not to eat, sick - it was like you were ashamed.

That’s when it clicked.

His fingers curled through your hair, his other hand coming to rest on your cheek.

“I’m sorry.” His words were the first spoken in the room since the morning, you stilled on his chest. Your head moved so you could look up to him, tears in your eyes.

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine.”

His head moved to the side. “No, it’s not.” His thumb gently rubbed your cheek, “This happens. Miscarriages happen, you shouldn’t be ashamed.”

Your head turned back around, you whispered, “I just want to watch TV.”

“No, baby, please talk to me.” His hand kept running through your hair, trying to keep your attention. “Honey.”

Another few moments.

“Are you hungry? I can go make you something.”

“No.”

“Baby, please, you’re starving yourself.”

“It’s what I deserve.”

Simon paused, eyes widened in disbelief.

“What you deserve?”

You nodded, eyes gazing down at your lap.

His hand moved to your jaw, forcing you to look at him. His eyes were dark. “No, it’s not.” Tears fell from your eyes, his hands slipped for your face to your hands, cradling them with a soft grip. “You don’t deserve pain. You don’t deserve to starve yourself because you think you failed me.” He squeezed your hands, more tears fell from your eyes. “I just want you to feel better, I need you to feel better. Losing the baby hurts, I know it does, but you have two little girls who wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if they lost you.” He brought your hands to his chest.

���Simon…”

“They wouldn’t know what to do because I would be gone too.” He murmured, his voice small. “I can’t live without you. I’d lose myself, they’d lose me too.”

You lurched forwards, diving into his chest and letting go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck, sobbing. “I-I can’t stop feeling-feeling like this-“

“I know, love.” His warm arms were instantly around your torso, fingers curled around your waist and carded into your scalp.

“Don’t-Don’t be mad at me.”

“Why would I ever be mad at you?”

You hiccuped over your breath. “I-I’m starving myself.” Your hand held his head closer to yours, you were trying to calm down but your heart kept racing. “You’re right. I’m starving myself and I could die and leave my babies.”

“Your feelings are what makes sure you’re still human, you were scared. Scared means shutting down, shutting down means forgetting to do anything for yourself. That’s why I’m here.” His fingers twisted a lock of your hair between them before he gently pet your head, a kiss settled right behind your ear. “Let me take care of you, let me help you, let me hold you and fix you.”

If you could express the way your heart seemed to beat without being there, you would. If you could describe the disappointment that doused your insides like gasoline, the way your pain struck a match and was burning you, you would. You pressed your forehead into his shoulder, hiccuping from your sobs, “You were so excited.”

“I was, but I was scared too.” The waves Simon fought so hard to keep above kept crashing over him, pain striking his chest like lightning. “I was so scared that I would lose you.”

“Simon…”

“You don’t need to be ashamed about losing the baby. It wasn’t meant to be, I’ve come to terms with it.”

A loud sob left you, your eyes squeezed shut so tightly that it was painful. “I wanted my son.”

“I know, my love.” I wish I could take away your pain.

He held you for a long time, letting you sob your broken heart out. He kissed your head before he went to his daughters, cooking and feeding them, bathing them, and then putting them to bed. He warmed up some of dinner, planning to eat with you.

But when he came back to the dimly lit room, he found you in the center of the bed - his pillow held against your chest with an iron grip. He settled the plate with your favorite pasta on it on your nightstand before he quickly ate his portion, he’d clean the plates in the morning.

He discarded his plate on the dresser before he got back into bed with you, his arms tucked underneath the pillow so he could hold your chest, letting his fingertips faintly feel your heartbeat. His forehead settled on the crown of your head, he felt you subtly shift in your slumber.

He let tears of his own fall down his face in silence.

He woke up in the night to you crawling back in bed, he could hear the soft cries of his youngest daughter in your arms. Your lamp was turned on, it didn’t phase his eyes as he watched you nurse your baby. Your arm held her up as you gently patted her bottom, observing your sleepy and sweet girl. A tune came from your lips, quiet as he believed you hadn’t noticed he was awake yet.

“Young men dream and old men ponder,” Gentle fingertips traced Mellie’s eyebrows, the apple of her cheeks as you quietly sang a song to her. “But what of the in between?” Mellie’s brown eyes flickered up to your face, little lashes fluttered as she blinked. Simon didn’t have to move to know that you were smiling at her. “You look more like your father.” Gently brushing her hair back with your hand before you cradled her head. Her little hand smacked against your breast, you chuckled as softly as you could as you continued, “In this life, if you should falter,” A gentle brush of her cheek had Mellie kicking her legs, eyes still watching you. “Remember these words I sing.” Simon felt the current of the ocean in his body calm, your soft voice brought him a comfort he never knew he should have been looking for.

Mellie unlatched from you, whining and whimpering. You pulled your shirt back down and moved her onto your shoulder, gently patting her back - but she pushed backwards, wanting to look at your face.

“Don’t like Mama singin’ to you right now, huh?”

Little Mellie cooed, little hands resting on your chin.

“You’re such a sweet girl. Mama loves you so much.” You brought her face towards you for a kiss, your daughter squealed with delight as you gently shushed her. “Dada’s still sleepin’, baby. He’s doing so much for us, gotta let him sleep.”

He wanted to pull you into his chest right then, to kiss your head and hold his baby to his skin. He needed nothing more than to hold his girls, all three of them. He almost moved his hand before you moved out of the bed, your footsteps silent as you made your way back to the nursery. Simon’s eyes flickered to the food he left on your nightstand hours earlier, food eaten up and fork left on the cleared plate. His chest warmed, knowing that something got through to you. That he could help you with one little thing.

When you came back to bed, he sat up - which made you jump. Your hand flew to your chest as you huffed out a breath. “Jesus, Si, you scared me.”

He held out his hand, your eyebrows furrowed with confusion but you stepped closer to your bed and took it. He gently pulled you up as you got into bed, he wrapped his arms around you wordlessly. His warm heart had a steady beat he could finally feel after so many weeks, his arms held you tight as you melted into his embrace. He held you like that until he laid you both down, his arms cradling you until morning light.

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Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

#lethalchiralium #happiness series #lethal chiralium #simon ghost riley #simon riley #call of duty #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x wife!reader #simon riley call of duty #simon riley x wife!reader #simon riley x f!reader

[p4p1l0nn]

crimson tears.

pairing: ex!jaemin x reader

genre: drama, angst, romance (second chance romance, betrayal, humiliation)

in the quiet corners of your world, where the weight of missed opportunities lingers, every day unfolds as a haunting reminder of what once was. in the echo of each passing minute and the silence of every hour, the ache of longing for jaemin becomes your constant companion.

memories of shared laughter and stolen glances linger, casting shadows on the canvas of your thoughts. you navigate a world colored by the absence of his touch, a world where the void left by his departure becomes an indelible mark on your soul.

the air is thick with the bittersweet scent of memories as you yearn for a second chance, a chance to rewrite the script of your love story with him, desperate to escape the confines of a past that holds you captive in the echoes of what could have been.

in your lonely nights, your bed felt empty, missing the warmth he once brought. his laughter echoed in your room, making the silence in your chest even louder. sleep, once a comfort, turned into a battle where dreams showed what you lost. tears stained your pillow, telling the tale of an ache that wouldn't go away. each new day without him was like a punch, and the pillow became your confidante.

with the seasons changing, your feelings changed too. spring's colorful flowers only highlighted the dullness of your life without him. summer's warmth couldn't melt the icy pain around you. autumn came, showing that even vibrant leaves fall, just like you fell deeper into a love that slipped away. winter brought a cold reminder of the frostiness between you and the world. festive lights outside mocked the hope in your heart, dancing to a sad tune.

your mind replayed the painful conversation with jaemin, each word a searing brand on your heart. as you summoned the memory, the wound reopened, and the ache intensified.

jaemin's once-familiar voice turned venomous, the words cutting through the air like shards of glass. “a second chance?” he scoffed, the bitterness dripping from every syllable. “you really have the audacity to ask for that after what you did?”

his friends, haechan and jeno, tried to restrain him, but the words poured forth like a relentless storm. “you think i'd give you another chance? you're delusional, living in some fantasy where your mistakes don't matter. well, guess what? they do.”

you felt the weight of his anger, and it hit you like a brick. “do you even realize how humiliated i am to be standing here, begging for something you don't think i deserve? i never expected you to forgive easily, but this . . .”

his eyes, once warm, now held a coldness that sent shivers down your spine.

“i thought we meant more to each other. i thought our history counted for something,” you pleaded, desperation clinging to your voice. but jaemin's retort was like a slap in the face, stinging with a cruelty you never anticipated. “history? all it does is remind me of how foolish i was to trust you in the first place.”

haechan and jeno intervened, trying to quell the verbal assault, but the damage was done. the words reverberated in your mind, a painful mantra of rejection. “don't bother. you're not worth the second chance you're asking for.”

his eyes bore into yours with a mixture of resentment and disappointment. the weight of his hatred lingered, and you were left standing there, the remnants of shattered hope scattered at your feet. the humiliation cut deep, a wound that no amount of pleading could heal.

the sting of betrayal cut deeper as the realization unfolded — jaemin had orchestrated the meeting with malicious intent. he lured you with sweet words, concealing the venom that awaited. the pain of humiliation gnawed at your core, leaving you raw and exposed.

as the truth settled in, jaemin's deceit played like a cruel melody in your mind. “i just wanted to talk,” he had said, his tone dripping with false sincerity. “i thought we could find some closure.”

yet, his intentions were far from closure. in that orchestrated encounter, his words became daggers, each one aimed to wound. “closure?” he sneered, the facade crumbling to reveal the deception. “i wanted to see the desperation in your eyes, watch you beg for something you can never have.”

the revelation hit you like a tidal wave, the emotional wreckage leaving you breathless. “you tricked me,” you whispered, the words carrying the weight of betrayal.

jaemin's triumphant grin confirmed your realization. “you played the part perfectly. falling for it was your mistake, not mine.”

the scene unfolded like a cruel play, and the script had been written with your pain in mind. as jaemin and his friends walked away, laughter echoing behind them, the sense of betrayal settled in your chest like a lead weight.

the wound inflicted wasn't just from lost love; it was a mark of a trust shattered, a heartbroken by a deliberate act of cruelty.

#nct #jaemin #nct scenarios #nct dream #na jaemin #nct dream imagines #angst #nct angst #nct haechan #johnny #jaemin x reader #nct smut #na jaemin fanfic #nct dream fluff #mark lee #jungwoo #jaehyun #taeyong #taeil #yuta #doyoung #jeno #chenle #renjun #park jisung

[anki-of-beleriand]

Bad Liar ch. 5

Summary: Life is about lessons, and Wanda has been learning some harsh facts that had define her life and taken her to a place in which she was given a second chance. Then, all of a sudden, she meets you, and she realizes why it's easier to lie to yourself than to accpet what's right in front of her.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/ Female!reader - America/Kate - Mentions of past Vision/Wanda - past Natasha/Reader - Some Female!Reader/Carol Danvers - past Shuri/Female!reader

Warnings: Slow burn - Enemies to friends to lovers - Mentions of abusive relationships - Toxic relationships - angst - drama - mentions of abuse - unrequited love - gay panic - fools in love - more tags as the story progress.

Author's note: I'm back! Yes! I know it has been quite a while, life has been hard if I'm honest with you and these moments of peace had been sporacdic. Hope you like this new chapter.

This time around something happened that made R and Wanda come closer, yet far enough for them to deny whatever they want.

Thank you so much for reading, commenting, liking and reblogging the story guys! Remember that English is not my mother tongue, so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18

Chapter 5

Falling

Her life had been predetermined by her father the moment she had been born.

For as long as she could remember, Wanda had always been told what to do, how to act, what was expected of her. Even though her mother helped her get an education, as well as get into a career, her father had always made sure Wanda was straight as an arrow, always leading her to a ‘good man that could control and protect her’.

She found herself being introduced to Jarvis at some point, the son of one of her father’s business partners, and a classmate of hers all through the secondary, it had been decided that he would be her husband. Wanda sighed watching the picture she kept on her photo album, in there was Pietro always smiling and happy with his arm around her shoulders while Jarvis stood to her left with a possessive hold on her waist.

Pietro had never liked Jarvis, but it wasn’t his decision.

Thunder broke into the night, Wanda jumped startled watching outside the window while her eyes drifted momentarily to the stairs. She strained her ear trying to hear if the twins had woken up, but the silence of the house was only broken by the rain and the wind right outside. Wanda sat in silence and a half-lit room, the memories of her past coming over with overwhelming emotions that threatened to break her over once more.

She held onto her own strength, the smile of her children and the words of Hope and Natasha while the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“This is a long road, Wanda. You are not expected to heal overnight, but you do need to start somewhere.”

And that was precisely what she was doing, choosing the memories she wanted to keep and letting go of those she didn’t want to remember. The pictures in her photo album had change drastically the moment Jarvis showed up in her life. Soon the pictures of Pietro, her mother, and her friends disappeared, giving way to pictures of Jarvis filling up her youth invading her life in ways she never noticed until now.

She didn’t even have enough pictures of her and the twins, most of the pictures included Jarvis one way or another holding them, grabbing them, possessing them. Wanda closed the photo album feeling suddenly emotionally tired, her life had changed drastically ever since she ran from Jarvis and started working on her, her children, her career.

“One step at a time, Wanda. You just must give yourself some credit, you are doing fantastic and as long as you remember why you are doing this you will be okay.”

And Wanda knew why she was doing it.

She still had the scars, and the police report as well as the medical records of herself and Tommy. The bright, blueish light of lightning breaking into the night startled her again, this time around she redirected her eyes to the window and waited for the sound of thunder breaking into the night.

The lights in the house flickered and soon the hole house went black. Wanda stood up, her eyes going big as she heard the sudden cries coming from the twin’s room. In less than a minute she had run up the stairs entering their room, the light from the mobile helping her move through the house and the darkened room.

She was familiar with the scene welcoming her the moment she crossed the threshold of the twin’s room. Billy was holding onto Tommy, both boys had their eyes wide open though Tommy was looking drowsy and flustered while Billy was completely awake and disheveled holding onto his brother as he used to whenever they heard the screams of fighting and hitting in their parents’ room.

“Hey, guys, it’s okay, mommy is here.” Wanda approached the bed wrapping her arms around them, kissing their foreheads with a concerned frown. “It’s just rain, it will pass.”

Billy merely nodded but Tommy went from his brother to his mother, and it was then that Wanda noticed the shivering figure of Tommy, his labored breathing and the glassy eyes. Billy shot his brother a worried glance before turning his attention to his mother.

“Momma, I don’t feel good.” Tommy whispered snuggling closer to Wanda, the young woman placed her hand on the boy’s forehead feeling the warm emanating from his skin.

Panic rose inside Wanda’s mind, Tommy was burning and he wasn’t looking so good. She lifted her eyes and Billy was glancing at her with a frown adorning his face.

“Mommy?”

“Don’t worry, boys, mommy is here, okay?” Wanda cooed Tommy while trying to give Billy a reassuring smile.

Tommy closed his eyes whimpering lightly, while Billy chewed on his lower lip.

“Is Tommy okay?” He asked in a small voice, Wanda fixed the younger of the twins on the bed while helping Billy down and directing him to his own bed.

“He is baby, but he needs some space and medicine, right now he seems to have a fever and mommy needs to make sure he is okay.” Wanda explained pocking Billy on the nose, the young boy offered a weak smile, but his eyes went from Wanda and Tommy constantly.

“I’m going to grab something really quick from the bathroom, can you watch over him without going to close to Tommy?” Wanda inquired knowing the request was hard for the young boy, they had always been together through the fighting, through the punishment and even in sickness.

But Wanda didn’t have the luxury of having any help, and risking both twins to get sick was something she couldn’t afford emotionally and physically. Wanda brushed Billy’s hair placing a single kiss on his forehead. Billy scrunched up his nose, pursing his lips at the last request.

“Tommy needs me.” He mumbled crossing his arms.

“I know it’s hard, Billy, but mommy doesn’t want you catching whatever it is Tommy has.” She tried to explain to the upset kid. “Mommy needs you to be strong and help her out, can you do that for me?”

Billy pouted looking away while nodding his head curtly, Wanda hesitated for a moment before standing up, her eyes went to Tommy then back to Billy who was still looking away from her. With a heavy heart, the young woman made her way to the bathroom to look for something that might help Tommy.

In the darkened bathroom, Wanda soon realized she had never bother to buy any medicine or any kind of implements that might help in a situation such as this. She had gauze, alcohol, bandages, cotton balls, and a digital thermometer. She tried to look at her reflection, the tears she didn’t know she was shedding rolling down her cheeks while her heart beat hard against her ribcage. None of this, but the thermometer, would help her with Tommy, would her?

With trembling hands, Wanda grabbed the thermometer and some cotton balls, she let her hands wander inside the cabinet until she found a small cup. Making sure the water was not too cold, she wiped away her tears and putting on a strong façade grabbed everything and went back to the twin’s room.

The storm ranging right outside the house became almost unbearable, thunder and lightning filled out the emptiness inside her home and by the time she was helping Tommy out, Billy was holding onto his pillow watching wide-eyed as Tommy whimpered and complain while putting his blankets away.

The lights had not come out yet, and Wanda had a feeling that this might take some time because of the storm. She went right into action making sure Tommy had the thermometer while putting the cotton balls and the cup of water on the bedside table.

Billy watched from afar as Wanda fussed over Tommy while his brother cried softly, and tried to get away from her touch while still couching and sneezing, his hands grabbing his chest or head from time to time. The young boy had always been there ready to protect his brother, and he hated it when he knew there was nothing he could do.

His young eyes went from his brother to his mom, she was crying and Billy felt his eyes well up at the sight. For a brief moment, he turned his attention to the door almost expecting his dad to come over screaming enraged before hitting mommy and Tommy.

But it never happened, and relief washed over the young man that still felt anguish at the sight of his family suffering over without anything he could do. Billy glanced at the phone, then back at his mom and Tommy, he lifted his hand and wiped away his tears with his pajamas. The phone he had been holding for quite a while vibrated in his hand, Billy frowned glancing at the phone while tilting his head.

“Mommy.” He mumbled standing up, he made his way to Wanda holding onto the phone.

Wanda lifted her head, she tried to smile and Billy could see she was not doing okay.

“Tell me, sweetie.”

“Can you call a doctor?” Billy offered the phone to his mother, he could no longer hide the tears on his face and Wanda broke just a little at how mature he usually behaved at his age.

Wanda grabbed the phone putting him closer to her, her arms wrapped comfortingly around him before placing a kiss on his head. She thought about the proposal, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about it, but the rain outside and the lower temperatures could only be worse for the boy burning in fever at the moment. There was a moment of hesitation on Wanda’s part, she glanced at Tommy then at Billy before placing her eyes on the phone.

But before she could do anything, Tommy sat up moaning, grabbing his stomach.

“Mommy I don’t feel good…” And with those words, he leaned in and started throwing up.

Billy stepped back watching horrified as Tommy empty the contents of his stomach on the bed and the floor, and soon Wanda sprang into action taking the young boy to the bathroom, running and sharing comforting words to a now crying Tommy.

The mobile had fallen to the floor, and Billy grabbed the gadget in his hands hugging it closer to his chest not knowing what to do and how to help his mom and brother. It took him a moment, tears falling down his face, and he just checked the phone finding the only familiar name that could help him and his mommy in a moment like that one.

With a blurry eyesight, he pressed the dial button and finally started sobbing when he heard the familiar voice through the phone.

____________________________________________________________

There was not a single light on the streets.

The wind and water twirled in front of the windows, the bluish light of thunder breaking into the darkness from time to time, and the rumbling from thunder making the glass trembled echoing the strength of the storm.

You sipped some hot chocolate from your favorite mug, sitting down in the kitchen your mind played out the recent events that had shaken your life in ways you never thought possible. More than a week had passed since the school event in which you got a chance to see a side of your neighborhood you were not familiar with and finding her in the practice of your best friend.

Since then, your encounters with her have been sporadic. But each and every single one of them had the spark of teasing you had come accustomed to. It had become a habit to just bother her and rail her up, to watch her reaction to your piercing words and your constant teasing while getting some reaction out of her. To see her eyes going wide, and flashing that glare you had come to appreciate, or her retorts that were a defiance of your intelligence and your personality. A part of you knew the game you were playing was a dangerous one, another part didn’t even care.

That was, until your mind reminded you of one Carol Danvers that had been at your doorstep from the moment you decided to go back to the world.

The blonde woman had been there as a support, and also as someone that helped you escaped from the pain and the reality you were made to face. So much different than Shuri, Carol had always understood your priorities, and while at the beginning the both of you had agreed on sex with no strings attached, Carol had made it quite evident she was ready for more, and pretty much intended to wait for you to be ready as well.

Another thunder broke into the night.

You lifted your eyes wondering if perhaps letting Carol meet America had been the wisest thing to do, the both of them had hit it off right off the bat, and you knew that Carol had been more than happy about the meeting. She saw that as a step in the right direction, one of the steps to get you closer into a relationship you were still not so sure you wanted.

“What are you doing up at this hour?” The voice of America startled you awake from your daze, turning around you saw her completely dressed wearing a heavy jacket and boots as if she was ready to go out.

“What are you doing dressed like that?” You asked back raising a single eyebrow, the young woman came closer to you tilting her head with narrowed eyes.

“I’m going out.”

You snorted shaking your head, “you’re crazy if you think I’m letting you go out with this weather. Anyway, why the hell would you go out? This has something to do with Kate?”

America opened her eyes wide, blushing lightly while crossing her arms.

“Not everything that happens to me has to do with Kate.” She huffed indignantly, though you had to smirk at her reaction.

“As of late, everything has to do with her…” You replied teasingly. “You two should stop playing around and get together already.”

“Oh, shut up! You are one to talk, you and Carol had been playing the friends with benefits for far too long, you should give in already.” She retorted shooting you a defiant glance, you winced looking away while lifting your mug.

“Touché. I won’t say anything about Kate and you from now on.”

“Thank you.” America turned around but stopped when you placed a hand on her shoulder, your brows lifted in wonderment.

“Still, you’re not going out, though.”

America made a face lifting her phone while trying to come up with the best explanation.

“Look, Billy Maximoff just called me.” She started explaining, and as soon as that name came out you perked up. “He was really distressed, crying and asking for me to help him, something happened to Tommy and…”

“Well, where is his mom? Or his dad for that matter?”

It wasn’t so much the question, but the tone of voice you used to ask. Your voice broke a little, and your tone rose an octave making you clear your throat and look away from the scrutinizing gaze of your sister. America narrowed her eyes at you, tilting her head.

“There is no dad, and it seems as if Mrs. Maximoff needs help.” America trailed off before grabbing your hand. “Come with me, please, I think they really need help and I hated to think Billy is crying while Tommy and Mrs. Maximoff are…I don’t know…”

You made a face letting go of America while scratching the nape of your neck, your heart jumped in your chest while a tingling started in your abdomen at the thought of seeing Wanda Maximoff. It was strange, and unwanted, you shouldn’t feel anxious to see that insufferable woman, yet…

“What if Tommy is sick, Y/N? I know you can help them.” America pressed grabbing your hand. “Please, come with me and if it is something dumb, you can lash out at Mrs. Maximoff, I know it had become your favorite pastime as of late.”

“That’s not true!” You replied slightly offended. “She is the one lashing out at me!”

“Oh, please if I didn’t know better, I would say you like her!” America replied turning just on time to miss the flash of panic in your eyes.

“So, can you come with me?” This time around she used her most powerful weapon against you, and her puppy eyes with that familiar pout broke your resolution.

Rolling your eyes you nod, “okay, okay, I’m coming with you, let me grab something, I don’t want to catch a pneumonia just so you can go and help Maximoff’s brats.”

America smirked watching as you went running to your room, she knew even if your words seemed uncaring that you were hooked when she said the kids might be sick. America knew for you it was hard to not care, but sometimes it was harder to care.

*************

Your eyes soon found those of the small boy standing by the door with a blue blanket tightly pressed against his chest, he had tears in his eyes with his hair completely disheveled and a spark of mistrusted sent your way. America knelt down as soon as he opened the door, her face breaking into one of pure tenderness while she spoke to the boy in a soft reassuring tone.

“Hey, Billy, how are you buddy?”

“Tommy is sick.” He mumbled and was about to hug your sister when you stopped him from going any further.

His glare made you think of his mother, and you had to refrain yourself from snorting at the likeness between both of them.

“We are drench, kid, so hugging America is not a good idea.” The glare didn’t lose its intensity, but the boy pursed his lips and stepped away from your grasp.

America rolled her eyes at you, closing the door behind her and taking the jacket off of her. You followed her swiftly, while also taking off your boots and standing inside the house that had been Natasha’s at some point.

The place had changed ever since, though you could see the new inhabitants of the household decided to keep some of the furniture. You frowned stepping inside the place noticing there was no one but the kid on the first floor, turning around you could see America talking to the boy, this time around she wrapped her arms around him helping him up and walking towards you with Billy snuggling closer to her.

“Tommy is sick, and he and his mom are upstairs.” She commented, her lips broke into a sad smile. “He didn’t know what to do, but he thought if I was here his mom could take Tommy to the doctor.”

“You are quite the smart guy, Billy.” Your commented made Billy turned his attention to you, though his eyes had not softened he was now shooting curious glances at you. “However, with this rain, the best would be for Tommy and your mom to stay here…”

This time around you could see the crestfallen expression on the boy’s face, his eyes welled up again and your heart broke at the sight. You leaned in, winking at him reassuringly.

“But you and your family are lucky that I know a thing or two about being a doctor and may be able to help, would you like that?”

America watched as the boy tensed in her arms, his eyes opened lightly, and he glanced at you for the very first time with wonderment, and some hesitation.

“Really?” he turned to America to corroborate your words, and the young woman smiled at him.

“Yes, Billy, this is my sister Y/N.” She said, looking at you then back at the boy. “And she learnt a thing or two about children and how to take care of them.”

Billy pursed his lips glancing at you with a tilt of his head, “really? You help Tommy?”

“Really, I can help Tommy and your mommy as well.” You looked around the place before settling your eyes on America. “Why don’t you grabbed one of the torches you brough and I will go upstairs to see what’s going on.”

“Sure.” America turned to Billy pocking him on the nose. “Want some chocolate while we make sure Tommy gets better?”

You watched as both of them go to America’s jacket, and handing over the torch to Billy they made their way to the kitchen. With a sigh, you placed a hand on your head before turning your stare to the stairs; the place was completely silent, and you had to glance around while straining your ear to catch some noise. Without missing a beat, you walked down the hall until you found yourself in front of a door decorated with dinosaurs and the names of the twins in blue and red.

The room smelt like vomit, and it felt suffocating.

On the bed was a small boy whimpering, and leaning in was the young woman you had come to know as Wanda. There was a moment of hesitation before you knock on the open door, the sudden sound made Wanda jerked around her eyes wide open as they settled on you.

“Wha-what are you…who…?”

The young woman was looking terrible.

Her hair was out of place, and she had been wearing some sweatpants and a shirt that had strains of vomit all over them. The sight itself was quite incredible, you had seen the fire behind those green eyes, the power behind the woman’s words as well as her determination whenever you engaged her in a bickering contest. But the woman standing before you was lost, it was someone that didn’t know what to do or how to react, that was completely out of her element while holding onto a piece of sanity she clearly didn’t have.

It made you think of that time she had frozen in fear during the school’s event.

“You got any coherent thought behind those questions? Or do I have to guess what are you trying to ask?” Your lips curled into a smirk, the glint of anger flashing towards you as the woman strides to you her index finger lift poking on your chest, with her nostrils flaring.

“What the hell are you doing here?” There was desperation in her voice, and you had to wonder where the father of the kids was, where was her husband.

Was she alone in all of this?

“Your kid called, and America dragged me over to help.”

She blinked a couple of times, your words registering in her head while her brows knitted together. Her eyes locking with yours before she opened them in realization.

“Billy.”

“Yes.”

“America? Why…?” Now she looked even more confused than before, you shrugged suddenly very aware of the closeness of the woman and the foolishness of the situation.

“She is my sister, and your kid call her over to see if she could help you.” You shrugged trying to look uninterested in the whole situation. “You had a smart kid, Princess. Now, let me help you with your other kid.”

You stepped aside, and walked past Wanda who was struck by the door still registering your words. You looked around the place before kneeling down right beside the bed of Tommy. You placed your hand on his forehead, he was burning and your touch made him shiver telling you his skin was sensitive to the touch. It was quite evident he had thrown up, and his paleness confused itself with the flush of the fever. Your eyes moved to the thermometer then to the mess around you.

“What are you doing?” Wanda asked in a thin voice, your eyes were flashing angrily at her just as you stood up.

“Me? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You asked through gritted teeth. “He is burning up! What had you given to him? Do you know if he eaten something that upset his stomach? How long has he been like this?”

And just as you said this you stepped closer to her, the anger in you came by the sight of the state the room was in and by the obvious discomfort the boy was in. It was incredible to you that a mother could be this disinterested in their child. If your stepmother had been alive her first instinct would have been to take you or America straight to the hospital, bad weather or not, and your dad…

The anger running through your veins cooled down the moment your eyes fell upon the cowering form of Wanda. The young woman winced when you spoke to her, her body tensing and coiling in on itself, while she pressed her hands tightly to her chest. Her eyes clenched close, paled with a quivering lower lip, she was mumbling something you had not bothered to hear up until now.

“I just…I didn’t…I don’t have because I…” Wanda had been ready to answer your reproaches with the same annoying tone she used to address you until something in her triggered the memories she thought she had overcome. She was useless, a bad mother, she deserved punishment. She deserved her fate.

“I don’t know! I’m sorry, I…I failed, I failed, I’m a bad mother…”

You never expected her to break down the way she was doing, something in your chest stirred with sympathy and guiltiness at having been so hasty in your reaction. There was a moment of hesitation that was broken the moment the woman felt to her knees, this time around her arms above her head as if protecting herself from an invisible attack. You clenched your jaw, your eyes burning with horror at the thought that this was perhaps what Wanda was waiting from you.

You could hear her whimpers, turning around you could see Tommy crawling his legs closer to his body, he had been awake during the scene trembling on his bed with his lips turned downwards. You brushed your hair away before stepping closer to Wanda, kneeling down slowly but surely, your hand placed itself on her shoulder. Whatever story was behind her reaction, you decided right there and there, you would make things easier for her.

“Hey, Wanda, I’m sorry.” You whispered softly, comfortingly. “It was not my place, you are a good mother, you did the right thing, I just…I want to help…”

“Hey, Wanda, sorry I just…look, I came here to help. So…”

“Why? So you can humiliate me? Tell me…making me feel as If…” Wanda exploded pushing your hands away, her eyes filled with tears just as she glared at you. “I’m doing my best I just…”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You whispered, wincing at her words. “I was unfair, I…I just…I don’t like seeing little kids suffering, okay? And, Tommy, he really needs a doctor. Let me make it up to you, let me help you.”

“What? You are a doctor or something like that?” Wanda bit back, her glare never missing the intensity.

“Something like that.” You replied offering a half smile, Wanda furrowed her brows the situation draining her of any will or energy to fight over. “Let’s start by getting him really clean up, do you have anything we can give him?”

“What do you mean?” She asked in a small voice.

“Antibiotics, aspirin…something?” Wanda shook her head and you nodded curtly.

“Okay, that’s fine. You and him, you need a shower…”

“But…but he is sick, and his fever…”

“Needs to be controlled before it gets out of hand.” You replied helping the young woman stand up, you cocked your head, so your eyes fell upon the boy that was glancing at the both of you. “Let’s take him to the bathroom, I have some torches that may help you, but you need to give him a bath and help with his fever.”

Wanda nodded weakly making her way to the bed, Tommy was shivering with his lips parted. You leaned in, observing the rhythm of his breathing and the sweat on his face.

“Mommy?” He asked in a weak voice, Wanda cleared his face never missing the concern marks on her face.

“Is he…” Wanda started but soon trailed off.

“He is gonna be okay.” You smiled at her, standing up you placed a hand on her forearm. “Don’t worry, kid, everything is gonna be fine, can you tell me where it hurts the most?”

Tommy pouted hesitating before placing his hand on his head, you pursed your lips nodding. Wanda observed as you knelt down with your eyes scanning the small form of the boy.

“Does your tummy hurt still?”

“No.” Tommy put his legs closer to his chest, your eyes narrowed for a moment.

“Tommy, did you feel bad today at school?”

Tommy hesitated before nodding, “I didn’t want Billy worried because he was playing with Bard, and I’m always complaining.”

The boy explained in a thin voice, Wanda pressed her lips holding back her own tears. You offered the boy a smirk, shaking your head.

“I bet Bard was being a little brat about it, wasn’t he?”

Tommy opened his eyes before nodding, this time around he smiled.

“Yeah, the men in that family can be little brats.” You said winking at Tommy. “But they are good people, you don’t have to hide, Tommy, more so if you don’t feel okay.”

“I’m s’orry.” He lowered his gaze, “I don’t wanna be weak, daddy don’t like it when I complain.”

You decided to not comment on that, and you even ignored the sudden shift on Wanda’s posture, and the gasp she let out at Tommy’s words.

“Hey! Not feeling well is not about complaining, it’s about being brave enough to admit you need help.” You replied by pocking his nose. “Now, I need to help you and your mom with your fever, okay?”

Tommy nodded putting a thumb on his mouth, you stood up looking around the room before settling your eyes on Wanda. In a sudden movement, you went to pick up Tommy in your arms, the little boy snuggling closer to you.

“He does need to take a bath, and it’s going to be a little uncomfortable for him because the water must be lukewarm.” You stated firmly, Wanda shifted her position taking a good look at you. “Can you show me the bathroom?”

The bathroom was huge.

With a big bathtub at the far corner, you realized that with more light the situation would be easier for everyone. However, the place was big enough to make it work for the mother and the child, you placed Tommy on a small chair near the toilet.

“Okay young man, I need your help right now, think you can do it?”

Tommy opened his eyes wide, nodding while glancing at you then back at Wanda.

“Okay, I’m gonna bring some flashlights and you and your mom are going to take a bath.” You explained to him standing up while turning on the light on your mobile. Wanda had been silent up until then, she had been following your every move, hearing every single word you spoke to her and Tommy, and something inside her stirred grateful by your actions.

You glanced around the place helped with your mobile trying to locate the cabinet in which you might be able to locate some medication. Your eyes narrowed when the only thing you spot were gauzes, bandages, alcohol, and things that might help someone after a fall. Not in a situation like the one they were in at the moment. You turned to Wanda, but the young woman was making her best effort to look away from you.

“I’m going to get the bathtub ready, and you and Tommy can take a bath, so the both of you stop stinking.” You made a face winking at Tommy who giggled placing a hand on his mouth.

“I’m not…” Wanda started but soon trailed off when she heard Tommy’s giggle.

“You are.” You replied walking past her towards the tub. “And Tommy is too, right?”

Tommy hesitated before nodding, “I stink. I felt bad in my tummy and throw up.”

You made a face making sure the war was the right temperature, “that and you have a fever, Tommy. I will need some basic medication for you, but the water will help with the temperature, okay?”

“But, with his fever…” Wanda started, you stood up shaking your head.

“It will make him feel better, believe me.” You offered a kind smile and Tommy was already feeling ready to take the bath. “Let me go for the torches, and then I will bring some medication I have at home that may help with his symptoms.”

Wanda stood there nodding numbly, you hesitated for a moment before grabbing her hand, the tender touch jerked her awake and her eyes found yours in the dark.

“It’s gonna be okay, Wanda, trust me.” You whispered, and the young woman felt her stomach tingle at the closeness, her heart shivering at your words.

“I do.”

You nodded curtly running down the stairs and grabbing two torches from your jacket and that of America, your sister watched you with curiosity, but you paid her no mind and went back to the second floor. Fixing the flashlights on two strategic points in the bathroom, it took but a moment, but soon your eyes found the naked back of the boy and your whole body tensed, while your jaw clenched closed again, this time around the anger bubbling in your chest was like a time bomb ready to explode.

On his back, there were multiple scars, some of them looked fresh, some others were old enough to know he had been hurt several times in the past. Then, as soon as you saw this, your eyes drifted away to the young woman whose hands were tenderly taking the clothes off and helping Tommy into the bathtub. The way she moved, the way she worried about her children…

“It’s cold, mommy.” Tommy whimpered fighting a little, Wanda cooed the little boy trying to calm him down.

“I know baby, but really is not that cold, is just…it feels like that because you’re not feeling well.”

“I’m going to leave this here and you two can take as long as you want.” You commented furrowing your brows, your mind already working on trying to get the truth about Wanda from Natasha. “I will leave my phone here, if you want to put on Disney or Netflix for him.”

Wanda turned to you, her face breaking into one relief and grateful expression.

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Princess.” You winked at her, placing a hand on your eyes. “Tommy you are in charge of the phone and the movie, make sure your mom doesn’t put a boring movie.”

“Yeah.”

Wanda chuckled leaving Tommy for a moment to grab your mobile, her eyes soon found yours and her cheeks burn a little at the sudden warmness she felt near you. She grabbed the phone and you and her turned around at the same time, you closed the door behind you, confusion filling up your mind.

****************

“How is Tommy?” America asked as soon as you entered the kitchen, you glanced around the place before spotting the door leading to the basement, in your arms you were carrying the bed sheets and the pyjama.

“He is burning in fever, Wanda is bathing him, and probably will take a shower afterwards.” You turned to America pointing to the basement door. “I need wash this, but right now that room is a mess, can you help me cleaning it up and putting some fresh sheets on the bed?”

“Can I help?” Billy asked in a small voice rubbing his eyes, you offered him a small smile nodding.

“That would be fantastic, Billy, Tommy needs clean sheets to feel better, and your room smells yucky so let’s make sure he comes back to a clean room, okay?”

Billy perked up at this, he nodded eagerly smiling a little, “yeah, I help, come America.”

He grabbed your sister’s hand dragging her back to the stairs, you shook your head opening the basement door going downstairs to put everything in the washing machine.

By the time dawn came, the rain had stopped and Billy, Tommy and America were fast asleep in the twins room.

The lights had not come out yet, and you had a feeling it would take some time for the electricity to be restored again. The living room was early quiet, and Wanda was sitting on the sofa with a warm mug of hot chocolate in her hands. She had bags under her eyes, her hair was still wet but her clothes had changed into another part of sweatpants and an old college t-shirt.

Tommy’s fever had receded, and he was no longer suffering from headaches or tummy pain, he had even drunk some tea and eaten some crackers before falling asleep on his bed. Billy had been right on his bed with America playing some movies on your phone.

Wanda had been fussing around the three of them, she was busing herself stopping any intrusive thoughts that were threatening to invade her mind. She was confused enough, tired enough, scared enough to allow another set of concerns filled her life at the moment.

You sat down on the sofa, the young woman tensed but her eyes never drifted from the photo album still open at the coffee table. You glanced at the pictures, having taken a pick early into the night before settling your eyes on Wanda.

“What a night, eh?” Your voice broke the silence in the room, it didn’t carry the usual bite and teasing tone you had come to use with Wanda, instead it was filled with tiredness and curiosity.

“Yeah, I never stopped enough to thank you for the help.” She finally said tilting her head to glance at you. “I never thought your sister…well, that you and America…”

“Oh, yeah, I know.” You chuckled wriggling your eyebrows. “I bet it was quite the shock for you to discover we were sisters, eh?”

Wanda allowed herself a tiny smile, “what surprised me is that she is such a charming young woman, responsible, and quite smart. And you don’t seem to fit in that description.”

You laughed throwing your head back, while allowing the comment wash over you. Wanda observed your reaction with some surprised, but her lips curled into a please smile, soon she was also laughing shaking her head at the absurdity of her situation. Here she was, sitting on her living room with a woman she though annoying and a bitch, only to find a comfort she never thought possible.

“Nah, she is good sister, I’m the bad one.” You finally replied never losing your smile, Wanda pressed her lips together looking away for a moment.

“I don’t think you are the bad one.” You raised an eyebrow, your eyes shinning with wonderment. “You are a bitch, but you’re not bad.”

“Fair enough, Princess.” Once more Wanda rolled her eyes at the nickname, at some point she had thought it annoying and quite invasive, a way for you to railed her up. But now all she could think of was how much she liked the sound of it coming from you.

The silence that followed was filled with questions unasked, Wanda was not the woman you thought she was. She was alone in the city, raising two boys all by herself while working to educate the newest generation in a school that could provide her with great opportunities. Natasha had advocated for her, she had even given her the house in which she and Yelena had grown, offering her a spot in a school that didn’t take just anyone in.

What was her story?

What was hidden behind those emerald eyes that sometimes reflect sadness and loneliness?

You stirred awake turning around while knitting your brows together, you could not ask these questions. You shouldn’t be wondering anything about the woman sitting in front of you. Your heart should not beat so fast, and your abdomen shouldn’t host fluttering butterflies creating a void you were familiar with.

Bouncing your feet on the ground, you stood up walking around the living room. Wanda followed you with her eyes, her own mind playing games with her and what had happened that night. She kept telling her that she was grateful for your intervention, that whatever she was experimenting at the moment was the result of America and you coming in to help her in a situation she felt was slipping from her grasp. It had been so long since Wanda forged any kind of friendship that was not determined by Jarvis or her father, she was finally free to be herself and reached out to people by allowing herself to make new bounds.

That was the reason why Wanda felt confused by you at the moment, it wasn’t because you made her heart skip  beat, or because you made her feel vulnerable. It wasn’t either because she felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment and coyness, or because her stomach had come to tingle whenever the both of you engaged in a bickering contest.

It was because she was learning how to make new friends.

That was all.

Wanda drown the voice inside her head, that traitorous voice that told her Y/N was the only one making her feel that way. Her other friends, the new ones, had never shake her world the way you had done so from day one.

“You should probably get some sleep.” Your voice broke Wanda’s trail of thoughts, she jerked around blushing profusely when she realized you were standing right beside her.

“I’m sorry, what?” She asked, and you snorted tilting your head.

“You should probably go to sleep, Princess.” You glanced at the watch on your wrist. “It’s three in the morning, I could keep watch for you, and I can wake you up as soon as the doctor is here.”

Wanda furrowed her brows at you, “doctor?”

“Well, I figured we need an expert to watch over Tommy, so I asked in a favour.” You replied shrugging, “hope you don’t mind.”

Once more, Wanda felt warmth all over, her heart melting at the gesture.

“No, I…thank you.” She took the last sip from her chocolate before yawning, her eyes drifted to the stairs then towards you. “If you don’t mind…I prefer to stay here…can we talk or something?”

You hesitated for a moment; it was quite evident Wanda was tired but she was stubborn enough to keep herself going if necessary. With a sigh, you nodded curtly sitting down on your previous spot of on the sofa.

“So, what do you wanna talk about?” You finally asked after the silence became too much, Wanda shrugged with her eyes falling upon the pictures.

It was still too soon, and you…The young woman turned towards you, she didn’t want to scare you off with her torrid story. She didn’t want you to know about her past, not yet, not like this; so straightened herself up she asked the safest question she could think off.

“Tell me how come you end up with such an amazing sister as America?”

_____________________________________________________________

The constant buzzing of conversation sneaked into her senses; she knew she had to wake up. An internal alarm was telling her she was needed, but her body and the recent activities had left her drained of energy necessary to open up her eyes.

Besides, she was warmth, and comfortable in the place she was in.

For brief moment she gave herself to the feeling, and her mind was slowly but surely losing the battle with her wakeful state until her ears caught the sound of a familiar voice.

“Thank you for coming, Strange, I know that this is not your specialty but…” You stated offering a tired smile to the man standing before you.

“Nonsense, I will be more than happy to help you out and that’s why I brought my wife.” Strange stepped aside and soon Christine came in rolling her eyes, on her hand the small duffel bag she used to carry with her everywhere.

“Hey, Y/N.” You dropped your shoulders walking towards her and wrapping your arms around her.

“Christine.” The older woman shot Strange a quick glance before wrapping her arms around you returning the hug.

“Miss me much?” She asked teasingly, you nodded looking away sheepishly.

“Like you wouldn’t imagine.”

“That’s why you haven’t called as of late?” The question came like a reproach but without any bite. You winced placing a nervous hand on the back of your head.

“I’ve been busy.”

“So I was told.” Christine waved her hand closing the door behind her, her eyes drifted around the place with curiosity before settling on you. “Where is the patient?”

“He is upstairs with America and his brother…”

“I am guessing you are the mother.” Doctor Stephen Strange stepped closer to the redhead now sitting on the sofa, her cheeks wearing pillow marks and her hair completely dishevelled.

“I…I am…Hi, sorry I just…” Wanda stood up feeling a little foolish and out of place, Stephen smiled kindly at her stretching his hand.

“No, please, we heard it was a rough night.”

“Yeah, it…it was I just…” Wanda stuttered kicking herself for being such an idiot, she dropped her shoulders wincing lightly. “I guess I need coffee, can I offer you something to drink?”

Christine chuckled waving her hand, “don’t worry, dear, I think coffee sounds perfect…”

“Good then, you and Wanda can go upstairs and Stephen and I will make the coffee and something to eat for everyone, would you like that?” You turned to Wanda who was still far too sleepy, and far too lost to said anything at all, you had taken charge of everything so it seemed and a part of Wanda was thankful for that.

“Yes, that…that sounds good…”

“Okay then, if you lead the way.” Christine took on a professional stance, her tone of voice and ever her glance changed, and as soon as they started making their way upstairs she started asking questions about the twins to Wanda.

“She was happy you called.” Strange stated, sitting down on a chair in the kitchen, you hummed moving around the unknown kitchen trying to locate the coffee maker, and some instant coffee.

“I was happy you guys could make it.” You replied never once looking back at your dad’s best friend.

“So, is she your new girl?”

You almost drop the mug in your hand, your eyes opening wide at the sudden declaration and Stephen merely smirked at your reaction.

“NO!” He winced, and she rolled your eyes trying to get a hold of your voice. “No, no we are neighbours, America babysits for her from time to time.”

“America has a job?” Stephen scrunched up his nose, you chuckled shrugging.

“Yeah, she took it after declaring she felt bored out of her mind and this would teach her some responsibility.” You pursed your lips. “She is right, you know? And, well…Wanda seems to need all the help she can get.”

“I see.” Stephen stood up walking towards the fridge and putting some bacon and milk, going around the place to help you out. “And you…and her…”

“Neighbours.” She stated curtly.

“Right, because you are dating Danvers, right?”

Now he was sounding like a confused parent that was no longer up to date with his child’s demeanours. You sighed rolling your eyes, knowing the questions came for the genuine interested of the man, and not because he wanted to be noisy or intrusive. He was like an uncle to you, and after your parents had died all those who had been part of your parents circle had taken it upon themselves to watch over you and America.

“I’m fucking Carol, there is a difference.” You replied slightly defensively, Stephen made a face shaking his head.

“You are dating her, America told us you invited her over for dinner and that she met her formally this week.” Stephen shot you a triumphant smile, and you could only roll your eyes at that.

Of course, America would mention this to everyone who wanted to hear her.

 “I’m not dating Carol, but I did invite her to dinner and introduce her to America.”

“You know it’s okay to move on, right?” Stephen inquired again, pressing the topic you had tried to evade for as long as your stubbornness allowed it.

You stopped what you were doing, Stephen continued cutting the bacon and serving the eggs and the coffee alongside a cup of warm tea and some crackers. He waited for your answer, hearing the noises of muffled conversation coming from the second floor.

“I’ve been going out with her, and she seems nice, and quite found of me, and the sex it’s incredible and…”

“But you don’t feel anything?”

You sat down shaking your head, “I like her, and of course I feel affection for her, but…”

Stephen nodded in understanding placing the cup of coffee in front of you, he sat by your side taking the tea in his hands.

“I understand.” He blew on the mug before speaking again. “Why do you continue with the relationship, though?”

“I was hoping I would feel something, but I know it’s not fair to her…to me.” You snorted taking a long sip from the black beverage. “I guess that’s why I have been running from you.”

“Ah, the wisdom of the older generation.” Stephen winked at you leaning in. “It’s okay to feel confused, and to want something, Y/N. What it is not correct is to play with someone that may be interested in you.”

“I know.”

Stepehen made a face satisfied with the ending of the conversation, then his eyes drifted to the newcomers that were talking animatedly about some movie. America’s eyes lit up and she soon run towards Stephen hugging him tightly.

“Uncle Strange!”

“Hey, kiddo!” Billy stood unsure at the entrance of the kitchen, he glanced first at America then a Strange and finally at you.

You tilted your head patting the chair beside you.

“Want something to eat, Billy?” He nodded approaching the chair, helped by you he fixed his body to move closer to the counter.

“So, young man, America tells me you are one of the men of the house, is that correct?” Stephen asked serving him a cup of orange juice, Billy opened his eyes big nodding tentatively.

“Perfect, tell me, do you like eggs with bacon or toast with jam?”

Billy pursed his lips thinking hard before talking, “toast with jam.”

“Good selection, my good sir, let’s eat then.”

____________________________________________________________

Saturday night came faster than you thought possible.

Christine and Stephen had spent most of the day with you and America, and most of the morning with Wanda and the twins. You had left your neighbours house with a heavy heart, thought secure in the knowledge Tommy would be just fine and that Wanda and Billy would be okay.

The afternoon had been quite the familiar time, in which America had enjoyed the company of the couple while talking about school and her aspirations for the future. The topic of Carol was not brought again into conversation, but you knew that Christine was thinking the same as Stephen and that most of that conversation had been thanks to America’s own concern.

You took a quick shower before getting inside your bed, your phone had been forgotten most of the day and by the time you finally got to see it the first message that appeared in there was that of Carol.

“Hey, just wondering if you are okay, hope you have an amazing day, Y/N. thinking of you.”

You turned to the side, your mind playing around what had happened in the last day and a half. The twins, Wanda, the conversations and the things that were left unsaid. You knew deep inside your heart you needed to talk to Carol, with a trembling hand you went to write to her but, at the last minute your finger drifted to another chat. A new one.

“Hey, Princess, how are the twins?”

_____________________________________________________________

#fanfic #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wandaxreader #imagine wanda maximoff #female reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #reader #Wanda Maximoff/Female! reader

[itti-bitti-yibbi]

I wrote a little Moon comfort thing, it can be taken as romantic or platonic, I think.

For a lil bit of context, the reader is a nighttime security guard in a post-virus Pizzaplex, and they've known Moon for a while but they have never met Sun.

Reader is stressed and tired and Moon lets them cry and gives them a nap. :P

It's been a long fucking day. A long couple of days, if you're being honest. The past weekend, which was normally your time to recharge before beginning a new work week, had been a whirl of drama and chaos and change all at once.

You are so fucking tired. Just of everything.

But you have to pay rent, so here you are, starting your shift. At least you're not gonna have to deal with any customers or co-workers, working the overnight shift.

The bright lights of the Pizzaplex power down with a resounding whoom as you clock in, leaving the place only barely lit by the neons decorating nearly every wall.

Well, you won't have to deal with any human co-workers, at least.

Your patrol begins in the Theater tonight, so you head off in that direction. You're about halfway to the Daycare shutters when a voice sounds above you.

"Tired," Moon rasps.

"Piss off," you snap back automatically, your whole body tensing immediately afterwards.

There's no response from Moon, and when you look up at him, he's staring at you with his eyes off entirely, his surprise obvious even with his immobile face. When he doesn't move or speak, you look back down at your shoes.

"Sorry," you mutter. "Didn't mean to snap at you."

After a moment you hear Moon's feet hit the ground beside you, too quietly for a robot his size. He leans down and sideways into your view, looking carefully at your face with pale eyes.

"Long day?" He says gently, more gently than you think you've ever heard him. It rattles you to your core.

Moon steps closer, carefully, slowly as a lump forms in your throat and your eyes begin to burn and prick with tears. You try to keep it out of your expression and fail miserably as he gingerly places his hands on your shoulders.

He says your name, barely more than a whisper, and you shatter.

The first sob racks your body, and you collapse against him. He pulls you close as your legs give out, keeping you from falling to the floor.

There are no words for several minutes, just you sobbing uncontrollably as Moon holds you, rubbing circles between your shoulder blades. You cling to him while all of the stress and anxiety from the past few days boils over and pours out of you.

When you do speak, it's barely decipherable through your sobbing and sniffles.

"There's just so much- I can't- I just want it all to stop!" You cry, tightening your hold on your friend. "I can't- I can't-"

Moon shushes you gently, pulling you back and cradling your face in his hands. He swipes his thumbs underneath your eyes, catching your tears as well as observing the dark circles that should have lightened since he saw you last, not darkened.

"Breathe, Starlight," he murmurs, producing a tissue and handing it to you. You blow your nose, trying to do as he says, but your breaths are short and shaky, and threaten to turn back into sobs.

After several moments of this, Moon comes to a decision, and scoops you up into his arms. You cry out in alarm and he hushes you.

"No working tonight," he says as he lifts the both of you into the air by his wire, "you will rest."

"But I have to patrol," you argue between sniffles, "I'm at work, I have to do my job-"

"No." Moon cuts you off. "You have to rest. Not suitable for work. I will look after you."

"But what if something happens-"

"I can access cameras," he interrupts you "I will take care of anything that happens."

You don't get another chance to argue. He cuts you off anytime you try, and frankly, that outburst sapped what little energy you had left.

Moon brings you into the daycare, then up to his room, and before you can try to object, he has you swaddled in a blanket and rested in his lap. He removes your cap, setting it beside him on the floor, and cards his fingers softly through your hair, watching your sleepy expression. Though his face doesn't change, you can feel the softness of his gaze.

"Sleep, Starlight," he whispers. "Dream sweet dreams, that you may awake with a lighter heart."

You chuff a short, sleepy laugh. "Theater kid," you mutter.

Moon chuckles quietly, followed by a comfortable silence. You're past the point of trying to fight sleep, and your mental and physical exhaustion is overcoming you rapidly. As you drift off, you're fairly certain you hear him begin to hum a gentle lullaby.

You will sleep until your alarm goes off, the one you set on your phone to tell you when to clock out, after that time Moon conveniently "forgot" to tell you your shift was over on the night the power went out and the lights couldn't keep him on a timer.

Until then, Moon keeps watch over you, also checking the cameras in the background, but mostly watching your sleeping face. The way your eyes flit behind the lids when you dream. He wonders if you are dreaming of him, your friend, your protector.

He hopes your dreams of him are sweet, rather than terrifying.

#moon x reader #fnaf moon #moon dca #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf dca #fnaf sb #fnaf moodrop #moon fnaf #fnaf moon x reader #moondrop x reader #i am definitely not projecting #at all #no sir no ma'm no the'm

[vivmaek]

THE SIGNIFICANCE OF TIME LORDS

If you haven't already, check this post out first: ANNUAL PROFECTION YEARS

When looking at a Profection Chart, you’ll notice that a new planetary ruler is activated each year. These Time Lords provide themes and insights for the year ahead. 

Aries - Like the 1st House, this is all about embracing new beginnings. The year will move fast, and you’ll feel more decisive about the direction you want to move towards. In years past you may have felt unmotivated and aimless, the energy of Mars will bring with it a welcomed spark of ambition. You will feel more in touch with the present moment and with your body. A boost of confidence will make you feel more attractive and this would be an excellent time to make any physical changes to your appearance. A sense of newfound anger may arise, use this as motivation. 

Taurus - A year where you can slow down and relax. A sense of stability was built up within the prior year, and now you can rely upon that. Steady income is to be expected, and rather than focusing on moving up, you should focus on persevering. Save your energy and pay attention to what you have. If any relationships and connections need tending to, now is the time. You will start to establish your roots in what makes you the most comfortable. Your sense of security will be highlighted this year. Relying on a steady course of action will bring the best results. 

Gemini - You will find yourself chasing after many new interests and experiences. In a way, you might feel like a child again and will have the ability to see the world with fresh eyes. You’ll do anything you can to avoid boredom, and this will throw you into interesting situations. A spike in anxiety is to be expected, your body may feel on edge. You will face a lot of duality and contradictions throughout the year. Your perspective is beginning to shift and fracture. Laughter and mischief will be a constant. Rumors and communications will take on great significance.

Cancer - Connections will deepen this year. An attachment to home and family will grow. Domestic endeavors will be of importance, time spent alone will be valued. You may feel especially moody and connected to your emotions. You will seek nourishment and seek to provide nourishment to others. Your understanding on whatever discoveries made in recent years will strengthen and go more in depth. Massive shifts will occur this year turning your focus towards the internal world. You will learn more about what trust means to you and where you can find it. Your vulnerabilities will be exposed and instincts will be heightened. Lots of tears will be shed over the course of this year. 

Leo - Aspects of your identity are going to become loud during this year. You're putting focus on gaining the recognition that you deserve. You want your efforts to be appreciated and valued. Some drama and fun is to be expected. Life will begin to feel theatrical. Your sense of creativity will be heightened. Healing your inner-child will be important this year, give yourself the treatment you wished to receive as a kid. You might feel as though you are putting on performance when expressing yourself even if you are being genuine. You will break out of your shell and receive a mix of both love and hate, testing your authenticity. 

Virgo - This year is all about practicality. You are putting lots of thought into establishing a routine and are taking personal development incredibly seriously; on both a physical and mental level. Focus will be put on productivity and health. You are trying to be your best self. Establishing boundaries and keeping your peace will be important. You’ll find yourself paying attention to all the little things, details are impossible not to notice. You will gather resources and develop skills in organization. Your sense of judgment will sharpen and critical thought will override your mind. 

Libra - Social possibilities and opportunities will make themselves known during this year. Connections with others will be important, especially partnerships. Friends and lovers will be greatly significant. You are learning how much you should give to others, and learning how much you should take. Equality and gaining a sense of justice are important themes. You’re going to strike a balance within your life and will be able to handle conflicts with diplomatic tact. You might meet someone who will serve as a mirror, reflecting qualities that need to be changed or recognized back to you. Laws, legalities, and what it means to follow the rules will be important this year. 

Scorpio - A transformative year for sure. Everything you know is starting to change. It is time to confront deep problems and issues that are informing and affecting current behaviors and actions. You are connecting to what really makes you passionate and being asked to commit to it. Separations or a severing of sorts is to be expected. You are coming face to face with your shadow side. Traumas and wounds from the past will resurface. There is a focus on sex and intimacy during this year. Pushing boundaries while also keeping some intact is important. Secrets and situations that occur behind the scenes will be of great significance. 

Sagittarius - This year marks the start of an adventure. You might begin the pursuit of higher education, travel extensively, or simply begin to start thinking more broadly about the world around you. You will start to recognize how collective forces affect you and will turn away from individualized experiences. Your personal philosophy is being redefined and shaped. Your belief system is being called into question. You will feel very outgoing and exuberant, it will be hard to not chase after fun. You are being pushed towards your purpose with gusto and are developing a sense of optimism for the future. 

Capricorn - This is a tough year that will require patience, endurance, and humility. You may feel as though you are being punished for past wrongdoings, and this is exactly what is happening. But, these are lessons rather than punishments. This is the time to own up to past actions and endeavors. You have the foresight to see what could possibly go wrong, and it's up to you to fix these issues rather than simply ignoring them in the hopes that it will get better. You will have to work hard in order to prove yourself. This year will feel quite heavy and restrictive. 

Aquarius - A need for freedom and personal space will be of importance this year. You want to be independent and break away from what was formerly known. New ideas are emerging and you are going to explore new ways of thinking. Societal issues will take center stage and you’ll see how they affect your personal life. You will also break away from the definitions society has placed upon you and start to establish yourself independently. You might feel an urge to disconnect from what is old and no longer serving you. A need for community will be present over the course of this year. 

Pisces - This will be a year full of confusion and one may feel disconnected from reality. A sense of exhaustion may take over, rest is needed. You will lack direction and instead focus on more spiritual matters. It seems as though you’ve reached the end of a long journey and now you have to make sense of what it all means. Sacrifices and inconsistency are to be expected, this may leave you on edge. The possibilities that lay ahead seem endless, and it will be hard trying to come to a conclusion or to make decisive action. You are being asked to surrender, it's time to face the unknown. 

#profection chart #astrology #astrology placements #astro observations #astro community #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology tumblr #natal chart #natal astrology #astrology signs #astrological observations #astrology notes #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquairus #pisces #astrology facts #zodiac sign #time lords #annual profections

[neomujinjja]

Bite Me

pairing: Vampire! Jay x reader

genre: imagine, drama

warnings: not edited, mentioning wanting to cry, feeling nervous, slight angst, mini argument, use of the words: hissing & snarled, insecure (or is he?) jay, the phrase 'kicked puppy', regret is brought up a lot, mention of killing people, jay's pov at the end, some long paragraphs (especially in jay's pov)

Synopsis: Your relationship with Jay has developed further, and you're sure that he's the one you want to be with for the rest of your life. Speaking of your life, you tell your vampire boyfriend to change you.

Note: This is continuation of 'Still a Monster' but this will still make a sense alone. I use underline italics for sarcasm and underline for emphasis. I wasn't expecting this ending, but the story had a mind of its own and we ended up here 😂

@kim2005bomi

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"This was such a lovely dinner" you tell your boyfriend as he gathers up the dishes. "Thank you, Jay" you say as you gently pull him down for a kiss.

"Anything for you, baby" Jay said as the two of you separated. Today was the 5th anniversary of your relationship, still going strong despite Jay's worry that you leave after learning about his vampirism.

"I have one more gift for you". Your eyes sparkling as you thought about the surprise you had for the immortal man. He turned to look at you with his brows furrowed and a slight pout (one that he would deny having if you mentioned it).

"You didn't have to get me anything else. You've already given me a new necklace and watch".

"But I want to". Mummering under your breath, you added "it's more of gift for the both of us".

"What did you say?" Jay asked, looking up from the sink. You only smiled and shook your head in return. Taking his hands, you led the male towards the couch; similar to when you learned about his secret. Your heart was beating was fast as you grew more nervous and you were sure Jay could hear it. The vampire tighten his grip on your intertwined hands, as if to confirm that thought, before leaning in to peck your lips once again. Taking a deep breath, you decided to plainly tell him how you felt and your thought process.

"Jay," you stopped looking into his eyes and the love that you found in his made you want to burst into tears. "You're the love of my life and I want to have a forever with you. And I trust you so much which is why I want you to change me" you told him, trying to maintain eye contact but ultimately looking down to you conjoined hands. You were hoping that he felt the same way, that he wanted a forever with you the way that you did with him. Jay cleared his throat and pulled his hands away from yours. It was enough to make your desire to cry grow stronger.

"And what?! Turn you into a monster like I am?!" he hissed as he got up. "No way. There's no way I would willingly do that to you" Jay adamantly continued. He walked away, back into his kitchen and stood at his sink.

"Jay!" you cried out at his words. While you knew he was struggling with the things done in his past, you didn't think that he still saw himself as a monster. "I don't think of you that way, and I know you don't think of the rest of the boys like that" you said, walking up to him and pointing your finger into his chest. Jay snarled at the action and his fangs glimmered at you in warning. "And I know you wouldn't let me do something that I'll come to regret. So other than 𝑚̲𝑜̲𝑛̲𝑠̲𝑡̲𝑒̲𝑟̲ reasoning, what are you scared about?" you argued back, not backing down from the male, glaring into his eyes now opposite of earlier this evening. You weren't scared of Jay, he was only acting tough and trying to get you to drop the subject, he wouldn't actually hurt you.

"And that's why I'm not going to change you!" the male snapped but despite his demeanor, and proving your point, took a step back to create distance. You rolled your eyes in response as you put your hands onto your hips.

"What part of you being the love of my life, did you not hear?!"

"But that's only for now! What happens when you change your mind?" he screamed and it clicked for you why he was against the decision. He was scared, scared of being abandoned, scared of you leaving him.

"Jay, my love, did I leave when you told me a vampire?" you asked him, stopping to wait for his answer. The vampiric male only shook his head, not verbally responding to you. Jay's demeanor had changed dramatically, no longer acting aggressive. If it wasn't for the situation, you would liken him to a kicked puppy. "I've continued to stay by your side in these past five years. And I would hope that you're not, but hearing you say that makes me wonder if you're doubting the love I have for you" you continued before pausing. Turning away from the male, you let out a shaky sigh. "But either way, I wouldn't want to force you into something that you don't want to do". You walked away from Jay, heading towards the bathroom. You didn't want to leave him alone, for fear that you'd be confirming his fears, but you need a moment alone.

ꨄ︎

Jay crouched as he heard a door close, he wasn't sure where Y/N had gone. He leaned his forehead onto the cabinets, scrunching up his hands into fists. Jay banged his head on the door as the sound of muffled crying emerged from somewhere in the apartment. He hated when Y/N would cried, e̲s̲p̲e̲c̲i̲a̲l̲l̲y̲ n̲o̲w̲ when he was the reason behind it. The vampiric male understood Y/N's why, he wanted the same thing. Jay would love to have Y/N by his side for eternity, but this popped up from nowhere. He didn't want his partner to do something that they could come to regret. Jay stood up, abandoning the spot to find the room Y/N was in. Stopping at where the cries resonated from, he knocked at the bathroom door. "Babe, come out when you're ready to talk?" he told the other before walking off again. Jay sat in the couch, after the heated discussion, he wanted to give Y/N space.

ಇ

Jay turned his head around as the door screeched open. Y/N sniffled as they walked into the living room. He stood up but hesitated pulling them in a hug, despite his want to give comfort. Jay watched as they sat in the arm chair to the side, effectively creating some distance between the two of them. Y/N looked downcast, their head and shoulder curled into their chest. The human's hands gripping their elbows hidden in the jacket they were wearing. "Baby.." Jay trailed off as he stared at them, still standing in the same spot he'd froze in. The vampire cleared his throat before continuing and slowly settling onto his previous seat. "Baby, I just don't want you to regret anything. Changing means leaving a lot more behind than anything that you could gain in the immortal future. It means leaving your family, friends, the place you live; basically everything and everyone you know. I don't want for you to look at me with hatred for having changed you in 100 years" he explained to his partner. While Jay's dead heart had fluttered at the thought of Y/N being a vampire with him; he knew they didn't know everything they would be getting into. Jay stills feels guilt from killing innocent people, but he also hated watching his family age and grow from afar. It was torture, one he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy let alone his lover. "You would never be able to return to the life that you have now. Your family would mourn you with a funeral, the people who care about you will cry over your death. You'd outgrow not only your parents, but your siblings and their children. You'd never get to see them up close again; who knows if you'd ever get to see them the way you know them again. Changing you means changing every aspect of your life" Jay pointed out further to the downtrodden Y/N. They had looked up from their lap, Jay could now see how red rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. They let out a whimper at the immortal's words. It was obvious they hadn't realized exactly the full extent they would be giving up in exchange for eternal life. Jay held out his hand in comfort, leaning towards the other's direction, he was surprised by the hand that overlapped his. He squeezed it as much as he possibly could without hurting Y/N. "But i̲f̲ in a year, you still want to be with me like that. Then we can talk about me biting you more, but for now think about it" the vampire let the human know. Jay knew he couldn't ignore Y/N's wishes and words either. So if they really wanted to become a vampire to continue being with him then he'd make that possible, but only after a fully informed decision.

#kpop #kpop x reader #kpop x gender neutral reader #kpop x poc reader #kpop imagines #enhypen jay park #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen jay #enhypen #jay park x reader #jay x reader #jay park #enhypen jay imagines

[your-eternal-lies]

_  LOVE IS A CHOICE (chapter one)

Main Navigation || Please follow @your-eternal-library for all my fanfiction updates.

PAIRING — Bucky Barnes x Agent f!Reader SERIES SUMMARY — In your experience, relationships only bring drama and heartbreak, and you want absolutely none of it. That is, until an act of sheer recklessness brings Bucky Barnes back into your life.

WARNINGS — Mentions of divorce/failed relationship/marriage, insomnia, ptsd, war, past character death, animal death, grief, blood.

LOVE IS A CHOICE

CHAPTER ONE

You sit in shock trying to digest the unexpected news. You stare up at your friend, who tells you of her impending divorce with an air of nonchalance as she cradles her ten-month-old baby in her arms. Meanwhile, her four-year-old toddler hobbles around the table, having lost interest in the grown-ups’ conversation. 

Lisa, an ex-agent, an old friend from your SHIELD days, had been with her spouse for over a decade. You had always been a cynic when it came to romantic relationships, but you thought she truly hit the jackpot. She had everything most people strive for: a house in the suburbs, a loving husband, and two beautiful children. 

And now she’s telling you that her marriage, and her entire life, has basically just imploded for a second time. Her husband just up and left, told her that this—the white picket fence, the minivan, the two daughters, the life she had helped build—was never really what he wanted. Lisa couldn’t understand, but he simply just said he didn’t want her anymore. 

You were incredulous. You knew Lisa’s husband; he was your friend, you went to their wedding, you shook his hand and smiled at him, listened to him gush about his first-born daughter when you visited them in the hospital. 

He couldn’t have spoken up sooner? Literally at any time during the last decade? Ideally, before they got married. Ideally, before he made two children with a woman he apparently never wanted? 

Just like that. Ten whole years of claiming to love someone and it all goes down the drain overnight. An entire family, who was by all means happy and united just days ago, now irrevocably blown apart. 

Your heart aches. You’ve seen more than your fair share of failed marriages and relationships over the years. You understand that sometimes people change, that sometimes people drift apart, and sometimes it really isn’t anyone’s fault. 

But this? This is a whole new low. 

Lisa’s circumstances hit you particularly hard. You don’t even think she realizes just how shellshocked she herself looks, let alone you. Not knowing what else to do, having no words in your repertoire that can possibly bring her any comfort right now, you reach across the table to take her hand. 

She squeezes her fingers around yours, her eyes suddenly welling up with tears as she coos at her fussy baby. 

It’s official for you right then and there. Romance isn’t real, love is dead, and men are just trash. If love is a choice, then you’re making the choice to have absolutely nothing to do with it, because the drama and heartache just aren’t worth it. 

You look at Lisa’s two young children, who are innocent and sweet with their adorable chubby cheeks, and how their lives aren’t ever going to be the same now. You know your friend wouldn’t trade them for the world, she loves them to pieces, and she’s always wanted children—but she deserves to have this with someone who wanted it with her, with someone who would stand by her side as her partner, through thick and thin. 

Through your sympathy and disappointment, you make yourself a promise. This won’t ever happen to you. You won’t allow even a sliver of a chance.

You’d rather die than to give a man that much power over you, enough to potentially break your heart—and your entire life—in one fell swoop. 

Not again, anyway. 

Until you do.

While the rest of the world sleeps, Bucky Barnes stays up to bake. Bread, that is. 

Rest eludes him, and it has for years. Whenever it does come, it’s fleeting and full of noise—all flames and smoke and agony. So instead, he takes on a graveyard shift at an improvised little bakery with a clientele of just one, run directly out of a tiny remote cabin in the middle of the northern Canadian wilderness. 

This isn’t the future he’d envisioned for himself. Bucky never expected to look up one day and discover that his love, peace, and joy weren’t where he had left them. Who ever does? 

He never expected that the idea of going home would no longer bring him any sense of comfort, even though he had once spent so many nights dreaming about it in his youth, all the while sleeping directly under the moon, surrounded by young soldiers just like him. 

He remembers counting down the seconds until the war would end, but for him, the countdown always seemed to reset at some point or another. And home no longer exists for a man like him. Brooklyn used to be it, but now he just feels overwhelmed and wistful passing by the streets and shops that look nothing like he could remember. 

Amongst the team back in the stark white walls of the Avengers Compound, Bucky felt out of place. All he wanted to do was disappear, shrink back from any and all attention aimed his way. He’d tense under the constant scrutiny, afraid he would make one wrong move and commit a fatal mistake. 

And then it wouldn’t just be a bunch of nameless faceless soldiers who’d be at risk. If he messed up now, it was his best friend on the line, the only one who stood up for him against the world when they were all calling for his head. 

It would be good people on the line, those who picked up the mantle of Earth’s mightiest heroes and took the job seriously. Bucky couldn’t take that chance. 

Especially not when one of them always seemed to be glaring daggers in his direction, as if waiting for him to screw up, as if lying in wait for Bucky to validate all of his reservations about allowing him a place on the team to begin with. 

Tony Stark. A living, persistent, painful reminder of the innocent blood etched permanently into the lines of his mismatched hands. 

So, the former Sergeant of the 107th Infantry Regiment packed up his bags and left the New York behind. It wasn’t the place for him, no matter how hard Steve had tried to make room for him there. 

But it weighed too heavily on Bucky’s conscience to just walk away completely, even after all this time. Even after his therapist suggested it might be good for him to make a clean break once and for all. 

After months of consideration, and asking Natasha for advice, she handed him the file on the team’s seldom-visited safe house tucked away amongst the pine trees and snow-capped mountains of northern Canada. It was currently unmanned, a lot of turnover in that position; nobody remained as the keeper of that safe house for more than a few months at a time. 

Bucky, however, took the file from her hands, taking in the photo of a small rustic cabin disguised as a modest five-room bed and breakfast, miles and miles away from the closest town in each direction, surrounded by nothing but forest and snow, and decided it was perfect. 

Steve had been reluctant to let him go, but Bucky wanted—needed—a place of his own. A place where he could feel like nobody was watching or listening. He needed to feel comfortable enough to close his eyes at night, to scream out his demons whenever they came for him, where he might feel okay about letting himself heal. 

And then he waited. 

Because that’s what they say, isn’t it? That time heals all wounds? But he waited and waited, yet happiness showed no signs of returning. Still, he supposed he could grow content to live out the rest of his days in a meaningless, almost mindless existence. At the very least, he would be alone for it. 

The occasional mission he joined back in the States, usually with some combination of Steve, Natasha, or Sam at his side, provided him with enough spontaneity to prevent him from growing restless. It provided him with some semblance of purpose, a happy illusion that he could somehow wipe away all that red in his ledger, as Natasha would put it—or at least attempt to balance it out. 

And when he got out of bed one night, tired and weary but unable to sleep, for some inexplicable reason he went venturing into the kitchen for something to eat. He wasn’t normally the type to snack during the night, but hey, who needs to count calories when you’ve got a magical serum in your veins that keeps you fit and healthy no matter what you do? 

He rummaged through the cupboards, and paused when he came across an unopened bag of flour, wrinkling his brows together as he couldn’t remember buying it. 

Well, whatever. There’s a lot he doesn’t remember, after all. 

He opened it up, dipped his flesh hand inside, his fingertips sinking into the soft plush powder. And before he knew it, he was kneading balls of dough with flour-covered hands, cutting lines and patterns into the tops of unbaked loaves before they went into the oven. 

How did he even know how to do that? Still, his hands move with practised ease, with precision, as if someone must have shown him about a hundred times. But he highly doubted his handlers at Hydra ever spent any of their valuable fascist time teaching him how to bake. 

The wind howled outside in freezing cold temperatures, but Bucky stayed warm and toasty inside his cabin as it filled with the sweet smell of freshly baked bread. A marmalade sun crept over the horizon and painted the rustic walls a dreamy shade of orange-pink. Bucky sat in front of the oven, staring through its front window at the way the loaves slowly rose with hot air, as if with life. 

Then the strangest feeling came over him, his own chest feeling like it was expanding in almost the same way. 

He took the pans out of the oven almost as soon as the timer went off, immediately tearing off a piece at the end of a loaf, sinking his teeth into a morsel of warm soft bread. Tears sprang to his eyes as memories came flooding back. 

The person who had taught him all of this was named Winnifred. 

But to him, she would only ever be known as Ma. 

And even though his grief was gargantuan, Bucky smiled to himself as he ate. It was the first time in a long time that he remembered something good, something other than calamity and blood. 

The strands of his mother’s long brown hair coming undone from the messy bun at the nape of her neck. 

The way her cheek always felt cool and smooth against his whenever they embraced, the scent of her perfume—like magnolias in May—filling his nose whenever she held him close. 

The sound of her voice, soft and warm like the bread she baked, in a way that only a loving mother’s could be. 

Baking soon became a late-night ritual, his way of remembering and honouring his late mother, of self-soothing after a restless night, and reconnecting with his past—some of his memories occasionally returning, coming together like the dough he’d formed with his own two hands. 

His companion simply watches. She doesn’t speak much, but sometimes, as silly as it sounds, Bucky gets this sneaking suspicion that she can—and was simply choosing not to. 

Alpine blinks her big blue eyes at him, regarding him with an impervious tilt of her tiny little head, her ears pointed in his direction. 

He’d never been much of a cat person before, either. 

It wasn’t lost on Bucky that his new home is surrounded by treacherous yet breathtaking icy capped mountains, similar to the ones that used to guard his underground dungeon back in Siberia. Still, he names the cat after them, the only thing worth looking at while he lived in secret, like a ghost story. 

His therapist told him it might help, a little akin to rewriting history with his own pen, reassigning meaning to words and symbols that used to cause him pain. 

And Alpine never brought him pain. For a creature so small, she only ever brought him companionship and solace. 

Bucky came across her unexpectedly, only weeks after he moved into the cabin and finally unpacked the rest of his boxes. She popped out of the snow like a mischievous little child, causing him to drop the logs he’d collected for the cast iron fireplace in surprise. 

Despite her games, she’d been too skittish to let him close enough to take her inside, and he had been too awkward and unsure of himself to even attempt it. Instead, in the days that followed, they simply coexisted, only briefly acknowledging each other if they ever crossed paths again. 

But as the Arctic summer began drawing to a close, he began seeing her everywhere. Her milky coat should have kept her well-hidden, but it was her eyes that gave her away—bright and blue, like a cloudless sky, near impossible to miss against the undisturbed background of white snow. 

He’d be chopping more wood for the fireplace when he’d suddenly see her out of the corner of his eye, sniffing around the pile of logs. He’d been waiting in the lawn, searching the skies for any signs of an incoming quinjet, which would arrive any minute to pick him up for a new mission. 

Bucky would startle when he turned and saw her perched atop one of the wooden chairs on the front porch, head always slightly tiled to one side as she watched him curiously. 

He’d be sitting outside for some fresh air on a warm day (well, as warm as it could get around these parts), a thick plaid blanket across his lap, ready to relax with a cup of hot cocoa, only to jump and spill it all over the snow when she appeared almost magically at his feet. 

But then he heard her distant cries one day, unable to resist following them into the forest, scanning the trees and squinting at the snow until his well-trained eyes finally found her. 

He stood, brows knit together, hands clenched tightly into fists at his sides, as he stared into the makeshift den she had made for her kittens. He didn’t know. 

But it didn’t matter now. They all lay motionless, every last one of them, almost as if they were asleep. Alpine nudged them over and over again with her frost-covered nose, meowing desperately in a language he simultaneously didn’t understand and in another that he did. 

Bucky finally scooped her up then, ignoring her protests and the way her claws and teeth scratched and bit at his hands. He took her home, listening to her cries the whole way back, even as she squirmed and struggled, trying to get back to her babies. 

She scratched at his door for days trying to get out, before eventually resorting to hiding in his bathroom when she realized that wasn’t going to happen. Her blue eyes admonished him every time he went inside, but he remained unapologetic. 

He wasn’t going to let her out again, not when he knew that the harsh wilderness of the upcoming winter would easily take her too. 

It took a long time before she emerged, exploring the rest of the cabin with an air of feigned indifference. She would stare out the windows for hours, just watching the snow pile up, probably wondering. Probably lamenting. He’d set down a bowl of food that she would ignore for a little bit, before her hunger gave her no choice but to turn away from the glass. 

Her little pink nose twitched as she sniffed the food, and Bucky cautiously reached out a hand. He wasn’t sure what he was trying to do, but he froze with a ray of afternoon sunlight struck his silver arm. It blinded him for a moment, a stark reminder of why he was alone—of why he had chosen this existence in the first place. 

And so he stood there, his hand suspended just above her head, not really knowing where to go from there. 

After a few moments of watching each other, he could have sworn she let out a sigh of resignation. Bucky will swear up and down to anyone who will listen that she looked almost bemused as she lifted her head, stretching out her neck to touch her forehead against his open palm. 

Her eyes sparkled as if with stars, and suddenly, Bucky had the whole universe in his hands. He’d heard the saying, and he supposes it’s true: the cat chooses you, not the other way around. 

Alpine likes to watch as Bucky works, even though he rarely ever allows her to partake in whatever he makes. He always tells her that it’s full of empty calories, insisting that his own eating of all the freshly baked goods is done purely out of love and not, in fact, selfish gluttony. If only cats could roll their eyes. 

She watches him, making a game out of placing her tail in the path of his hands as he kneads, only to sweep it to the side at the last second when he goes to bat it out of the way. 

But suddenly, she looks up from the kitchen counter, eyes darting towards the door. She lets out a rare meow, as if she’s actually speaking to him, her ears twitching as she picks up a sound he also hears. 

There’s someone outside the cabin. 

The sound of footsteps aren’t steady, uneven and choppy, like someone is stumbling through the snow, despite the fact that nobody else should even be in the area due to the dense forest and isolated location of the cabin. Still, this is technically a bed and breakfast, and he is technically equipped to take customers. 

But something doesn’t feel right. Bucky wipes his hands on his apron, pausing when the sounds of footsteps stop before the newfound silence is broken by a muffled thud somewhere beyond the door. He waits to see if he can hear anything else. Just more silence. 

Bucky takes slow and deliberate steps towards the front door, his stomach clenching with the anticipation of a fight with every step. There is something in the air, the smell of something he hasn’t smelled in a while, but he remembers it just as clear as day. 

It’s the smell of blood. He reaches underneath an armoire in the entryway where he’s hidden one of his guns, carefully pulling it out of the drawer. He’s about to throw open the door, point the barrel of his pistol out into the darkness, when it hits him. 

Blood, yes, but also wild berries. Soft violets. Sandalwood and sage. 

His heart plummets. 

He opens the door with a bang, letting in a dusting of freshly fallen snow and the biting cold of a stray northern current. He sees a figure lying in the bank, surrounded by a growing pool of red, bleeding into a ghastly familiar shade of pink in the frost. 

Bucky’s screams of your name gets lost in the howling wind.

« Series Masterlist || Chapter 2 »

Notes — This is my first time posting a fic here, so please be nice! I would also love to hear some nicely-worded feedback lol, if you would be so kind 🥺

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x you #summer’s fics

[pedrito-friskito]

strawberry wine - joel miller x ofc!liv stone/fem!reader

during - part twelve

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

joel finally gets his head out of his ass, with a little push from tess.

a/n: we have BIG CONVERSATIONS IN THIS HOUSE FAM. i want to reiterate: i love the canon joel x tess. i live for it. but the drama/angst/emotion it has allowed me to create but backpedaling them SLIGHTLY? delish. enjoy babes, please scream at me about the ending 😇

word count: 5.5k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, angst, drinking, lots of emotions, mentions of canon-typical violence and injuries, mentions of death, joel is both an asshole and an Emotional Man, tess and liv are true bffs and god bless last night’s episode for solidifying some of my plans 🤍

✨I do not have a taglist - follow @friskito-library for updates on future chapters/works✨

“You need to talk to her.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, Joel, you—”

“Don’t tell me what I need to fuckin’ do, Tess. Leave it be.”

“Joel—”

“Please.”

+

You’ve been staying at Deanna’s. Two weeks now, since your stint in lockup, since Angie had beat the literal shit out of you. The couch isn’t comfy, and your ribs are still sore, but it’s fine. 

The kids are happy to have you around. Emily especially, once she got past the bruises on your face. You weren’t expecting Henry’s reaction; when you woke up in Deanna’s apartment the next morning, he was sitting vigil beside you, tears on his face, bottom lip jutting out. You told him you fell down the stairs, trying to get a laugh out of him, and he’d just hugged you, buried his face in your chest.

You try to keep things normal, whatever the fuck that means anymore. You take on extra jobs, trying to earn more ration cards for the three living in your apartment. Tess shadows you, follows you around every day, and you tell her your secrets, point out your routes, the soldiers you have dirt on, the ones you know not to fuck with.

“She’s the one that beat you?” she asks one day, jutting her chin towards Angie. You’re standing in the warehouse that serves as the food bank, waiting in line. You’ve had a heartbeat in the bruise on your cheek since you woke up, and standing ten feet from the woman who gave it to you isn’t exactly helping. 

You disguise your nod as a stretch, wincing at the pull on your ribs. Deanna was sure you hadn’t broken any, but you sure as hell were bruised. They didn’t look as bad as your cheek, but the pain was deeper, and seemed intent to linger longer. “Yeah, that’s her.”

Tess sneers in her direction, and you have to stifle your laugh. “Fucking bitch.”

You like Tess. You really like her. She’s a hard ass, but rightfully so, given the history. She hasn’t given you much more of her past, and you’re definitely not about to offer up any of yours, but the friendship between you is quick. You’ve skirted the Joel subject so far, despite the fact that they’re literally sleeping in your bed. Most of your conversations have been about the QZ, the inner workings, your smuggling. You have a job coming up, and Tess has already said she’s coming with you.

“I doubt Joel will be thrilled about that.”

“Joel can fucking shove it.”

She hasn’t been shy about her displeasure towards him, but it hasn’t done much to change things between you. You went down to grab some clothes a few days back, and he’d been the only one inside. Tess was out exploring, and Tommy had gone with her.

He didn’t say a goddamned word.

You’d managed to hold back the tears until you were back in the hallway, but you sobbed so hard you thought you actually were going to crack a rib. And on the other side of the door, you heard the radio flick on, assumedly to drown out your noise.

You nearly put your boot through the wall.

You move up a few places in line, and reach into your pocket, pulling out the ration cards you’ve collected. It’s worked out okay; you had some stashed to begin with and you were able to pull a few jobs after you got back on your feet. But Tess is adamant they’ll pay you back, despite your protests.

“First job I take,” she says to you, jutting her chin towards the stack in your hand, “you get half.”

You shake your head. “I told you, it’s fine.“

“It’s not,” she replies, her tone determined. “It’s the least we can do, after what you did for us. Hell, I should give you back double for putting up with the bullshit Joel’s been throwing at you.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” she repeats, and grabs your arm, turning you towards her slightly. “I’m not fucking okay with this. I need you to get that. He needs to talk to you. You need to talk to him.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me, Tess,” you say, toying with a corner of a ration card. “I have to respect that.”

“And he should give you the same courtesy,” she says as you move up again. “You need to talk this out. He can’t keep putting up brick fucking walls; you deserve more respect than that. You put your ass on the line for us, and got the shit kicked out of you. History or not, he owes you. I’ll lock you two in the same room if I have to.”

“Hah,” you scoff, lifting your brows. “I’m sure he’d love that.” 

She goes quiet as you reach the front of the line, handing over the cards. The woman working the table slides a crate of food across to you a second later, along with two jugs of water that Tess reaches for. It’s not until you’re back outside that she speaks again.

“I want us to be friends,” she says, and the tone in her voice makes you pause, stopping in your tracks. “I like you, Liv; you’re strong as hell. Brave. Best damn smuggler I’ve ever seen. I just…I need you to understand, me and Joel, it’s nothing close to what I had with Nate, or what he had with you. I know that. I get that. We laid out ground rules from square one. It’s a…” She trails off, searching for the right word.

“A comfort,” you provide.

She nods. “Yes. And I…if I had a second chance with Nate? If I walked down this street tomorrow and saw him walking through that fucking gate, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to—” She stops, clamps her hand over her mouth and you almost jump when you see the tears in her eyes.

“Tess.” She blinks hard, waving a hand at you, and in an instant, the badass demeanour has returned, if not doubly so. You continue, “If he’s a comfort to you, I can’t be the person that takes that away. He’s not mine to take. Especially not if he doesn’t want me back. It’s okay. You can’t force his hand in this.”

She eyes you, chewing at her thumbnail before, “Maybe I can.”

You shake your head, hefting the crate of food higher on your hip. “Let’s take this back.”

+

The doorknob jiggles, and Joel’s head snaps up. He’s sat on your couch, some book about woodworking in his hands, a mostly abandoned glass of whiskey on the table in front of him. Tommy’s at the kitchen table, bent over a map, trying to figure out the path they’d taken, all the way back to Austin. “I’m just curious,” he’d said when Joel had asked, his voice almost clipped. Joel hadn’t pushed any further.

The door swings open, revealing you and Tess, a crate of food on your hip, Tess carrying jugs of water. Joel gets to his feet, wanders towards the kitchen, leaning against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. Tommy gets up immediately, takes one of the jugs from Tess. She starts putting stuff away, and you step closer to the table, digging in the pocket of your coat. “Exciting news,” you say, pulling out a key ring with three keys on it, dropping it onto the table. “Moving day.”

“We’re not going far, are we?” Tess asks over her shoulder.

“No,” you reply, pushing a hand through your hair before shucking off your coat. “One floor up, few units down. Besides, you know where to find me.” Joel catches you glance his way, but it’s short-lived, you turning away a moment later to help Tess put the rest of the food away. “I saw they have a posting for a handyman in the building, one for the apartment across the street too,” you say, putting away a box of instant mashed potatoes. “Unit maintenance and stuff like that, thought you boys might be good for it.”

Tommy nods, enthusiastic. “Sounds good to me.” He glances at Joel over his shoulder. “Gotta get started paying you back what we owe you, Liv.”

You wave a hand, and Joel sees Tess give you a pointed look. “Listen, all of you. We’re square, okay? I mean it. I’m just…I’m glad you’re all here. Safe. That’s all that matters to me.”

Joel can’t hold his tongue. “That soldier beat you half to death.”

“Oh, you noticed?” you throw back, and the guilt simmers in his gut. “We’re square,” you repeat, leaning against the kitchen counter, hip cocked, arms crossed over your chest. A mirror of Joel’s stance. “But there’s something I wanted to bring up to the three of you. Tess and I have already talked it over, and I’ve done okay for myself given the circumstance, but I could use you, all three of you.” Your eyes flick from Tommy to Joel and back again, so quick he nearly misses it. “It’s a risk, I won’t lie, but I’ve got dirt on half the soldiers in this QZ. And I know exactly what to give them to keep their mouths shut.” 

“You already know I’m in,” Tess says, bumping her hip into yours. There’s a tiny grin on your face, the bruising along your cheek pinching slightly. “There are still connections from Baltimore we can use. Between the four of us, we could be living like kings, for a change.”

You nod. “Either way, it’s an offer. I trust you all enough that you’ll keep it secret, but if you want in, my door’s always open.” You pause. “But I do want my keys back.”

“I’m game,” Tommy says, leaning back in his chair. “You tell me where and when, Liv, and I’m there.”

“Same,” Tess agrees, “but we’re still paying you back.”

Joel can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Are you out of your damn minds? Both of you?” He stares at Tommy when his brother turns to face him, glances at Tess when she steps forward and plants her hands on the kitchen table. “We just got safe again, and already you want to put that in jeopardy?”

Tess scoffs, and the sound makes Joel blood boil. There’s too much happening. The guilt never leaves, but seeing you, hearing your voice, it makes it that much worse, and Tess looking at him like he’s a fucking idiot doesn’t help matters.

“We pulled a lot of bad shit to stay alive out there, Joel,” she says, her tone stern. “Baltimore was no different. I highly doubt a bit of smuggling is going to fuck with our reputations.”

“Your records are clean,” you offer, your voice placating. It makes the hair on the back of Joel’s neck stand on end. “When Cowan brought you through, he wiped them. Tommy’s is already clean, otherwise they wouldn’t have let him through to start with.” You lift your hands. “It’s just an offer, Joel.”

How have you managed to make his own name feel like a punch to the gut?

“I’ll show you to the apartment,” you say, grabbing the keys off the table, putting a hand on Tess’s shoulder. “You guys can talk it out. There’s no pressure. I’ve got a job in a few days, and—”

“I already told you, I’m going with you,” Tess says, and Joel’s brows raise.

“Tess—”

“Shut up, Joel.” She turns towards the door. “Let’s go.”

You swallow, hard enough that Joel can see your throat bob from where he’s standing. Tess grabs her jacket, gestures at Tommy to do the same, and his brother gets to his feet. You hold open the door, and Joel follows Tess and Tommy out. He tries to catch your eye as he walks past you, but your gaze drops to the floor.

Their unit is one floor up, three down from yours. You unlock the door before handing the keys to Tess, let it swing inwards. It looks about the same as yours, save for the floral wallpaper. It’s a bit bigger, an actual separate bedroom, another bed tucked in one corner, a room divider that’s seen better days blocking it off. He’s surprised, almost, that there’s furniture, even blankets on the beds, and follows his brother inside. Tess wanders, and you hang in the doorway, leaned against the jamb.

“I found some stuff at the donation warehouse,” you say, scratching the back of your neck. “People will leave all kinds of shit down there, stuff they don’t need. The mattresses aren’t great, but I cleaned them best I could, and there’s some clothes too.” Joel turns to look at you, and your eyes move away from his again. “And, if you’re game for smuggling, when knows what else we might find.”

Tommy walks back over to where you’re stood, slings an arm around your neck, pulling you against him. “You’re an angel, Liv. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you reply, leaning your head against Tommy’s chest, and Joel ignores the zip of…is that jealousy surging through his gut? Fuck.

But it turns into guilt just as quick, makes something mean bubble out of his mouth before he can stop it. “You shouldn’t have done this.” He doesn’t look at you, not directly, but from the corner of his eye, sees you balk, flinching slightly.

“Joel,” Tess chides, walking over to the door, pulling you out of Tommy’s grip and into a hug. “We owe you, I mean it.”

Joel watches, as you hug Tess. Your eyes flutter shut, your hands hooked around her shoulders, your brow pinched slightly. God, how many times had this thought crossed his mind? How many times had he wondered if the two of you would get along?

How many times had he dreamt of merely seeing you again?

Yet here he is, fucking it up harder than anyone ever could have imagined.

“I’m gonna go,” you say, jutting a thumb over your shoulder. “Tess, I’ll see you tomorrow?” She nods. “And Tommy, you can ask Sergeant McCoy about the handyman gig. He’s a decent guy.”

Then your eyes turn to Joel. He meets them, looks back at you, feels the guilt so thickly he’s convinced it’s replacing his blood. He thinks he hears you say his name, but then your wrench your eyes from his, disappearing from the doorway. His feet move of their own accord, propelling him towards the door, but he stops short, hands swinging at his sides.

Tommy claps him on the shoulder. “Brother, I love you, but you’re a fucking idiot.” He turns to Tess. “I’m gonna go check on her.”

Tess just nods, and the door shuts a moment later. It’s just the two of them, and Joel can already tells he’s about to be on the receiving end of Tess’s anger.

“Sit, Miller.” She points to the kitchen table. It’s not much different than yours, though there are no maps spread across the surface. “You can’t keep doing this shit.”

“Tess, don’t—”

“No, shut the fuck up,” she cuts him off, her hand flexing in the air. “You’re gonna sit there and you’re gonna listen, you understand? Please.”

Tess doesn’t often say please.

Joel swallows hard. “Fine.”

“You need to go after Liv,” she says, the words blunt, laying her hand flat on the table. “You can’t keep pushing her away and treating her the way that you are. You can’t keep doing this to her.”

“I have to,” he replies, the words quick, half-hearted. An excuse.

“No, you don’t,” Tess throws back, just as quick.

“You—”

“We’re done,” she says, cutting him off again. “You and I. It was just stress relief, right from the beginning. I know that, you know that. Nate was gone and you were there and I…” She shakes her head, lifts her hand to her mouth and bites her knuckle before continuing. “If I had a second chance like this, a second shot, goddamn, I would have dropped you so fast your head would’ve spun.” She actually laughs. Her eyes are big and wet, but no tears fall. “She loves you, Joel, and you love her. I knew it from the second you saw her at the gas station. It’s not—”

“Tess—”

“Listen to me, Joel. If I turned a corner tomorrow and saw Nate right there in front of me, there’s not a force on this whole fucking planet that could keep me from him. So why are you doing this to her? To yourself?”

He goes quiet, for a long moment. Stares down at the table top, digs his nail into the grain of the wood. “You said it yourself, Tess. We did a lot of bad shit out there to stay alive. I’m not…” He shakes his head. “I’m not who she remembers, who she loved before.”

Tess reaches out and grabs his hand, squeezes his fingers tightly. “Joel, the fucking world ended. I didn’t know her before, but I highly doubt that the Liv I know now was the same before the outbreak. We do what we have to, to survive. She put her life on the line for us, without batting a fucking eye. The least you can do is talk to her.”

“I can’t—”

“You can. What do I have to say to get it though your thick fucking skull, Miller? Second chances like this don’t just happen. If I had one, I sure as hell wouldn’t squander it the way you’re so hellbent on doing. So don’t.”

“Tess—”

“Please.”

Tess doesn’t often say please.

Slowly, Joel gets to his feet, and Tess follows suit. He’s not quite sure what to do next, but then she grabs the front of his jacket, hauls him against her, throws her arms around his neck. He hugs her back, mouth pressed to the curve of her shoulder.

“And I don’t wanna hear any more shit about not joining forces with Liv,” Tess says softly. “We’d be fucking fools not to.” She claps him on the shoulder, pulling away. “I’ll see you around, Joel.”

“Bye, Tess.”

The doorknob is cold when he reaches for it, and Tess doesn’t say another word as he steps out into the hall, pulls the door shut. His feet seem to carry him down the hall on their own. He heads down the stairs, faintly hears Tommy’s voice calling after him as he heads down towards the lobby. 

“Joel, where you going?”

It’s still a few hours until curfew, the sky still light, though dark clouds are gathering over the city. The moment he’s out the main door, he’s sprinting, running as fast as his legs will carry him. He’s pushing past people on the street, boots scuffing on the pavement, mumbling apologies when he almost crashes into someone. 

He just keeps going, arms pumping once he’s through the crowds of people trying to get home. He has no idea where he’s going, but he just keeps going, on and on and on until he finds himself standing in the same alleyway you’d lead him and Tess through, when you’d smuggled them inside.

What the fuck is he doing?

The rain starts slow, a few drips pelting his shoulders, the back of his neck. He tips his head back, stares up at the ominous dark clouds, hears the rumble of thunder in the distance. Joel lets his eyes slip closed, hands loose at his sides.

In a flash, it’s a downpour. He’s soaked in a matter of seconds, rainwater seeping through his hair, wetting his scalp. It runs down his cheeks, sneaks beneath the collar of his flannel, gathers in the hollow of his throat.

She loves you, Joel, and you love her. 

Tess is right. He knows she’s right. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, he always knew in the back of his mind that if he found you again, he wouldn’t be able to keep himself away from you. Everything he’s been doing, everything he’s said since you mentioned Sarah, it’s been…survival. Fear, that if he lets himself have you again, he’ll just lose you, like he lost her. That someone or something will take you from him.

Tommy told me. About Sarah. Joel, I’m so sorry, I just—

It hurts. The memory makes panic and fear surge through him, every single time. Makes his heart beat faster, his hands clench into fists, sweat at his hairline. But you don’t know that. How could you? He hasn’t told you, hasn’t let you in, hasn’t done anything but try and stay as far away from you as possible.

He can’t keep doing this. He knows that. When he closes his eyes, he still sees those tears on your face, at the gas station. The bat in your hand, the bravery in your eyes. You weren’t the same person he’d fallen in love with back in Austin. But you’ve survived just as hard as he has, and you lived. You’re alive.

I’ll find you, baby.

He swore to you.

“What the fuck am I doing?” Joel says the words aloud, towards the sky, to the dark clouds still pouring down on him. “Fuck.”

He turns on his heel and sprints back up the alley. The rain isn’t letting it up, pelting his face, soaking his hair further. He pushes his way back through the crowds, takes the same random path he’d just run in reverse, back to the building.

Back to you.

He takes the stairs two at a time, ignoring the way his knees are shouting in protest. He’s out of breath by the time he skids to a stop in front of your door, bangs his fist on the wood. “Liv!”

“It’s open,” he hears you call from the other side, and twists the handle, pushes the door open. You’re sitting at the kitchen table, rubbing at your forehead, a bottle of whiskey not far from reach. Your gaze lifts slowly, but then your entire expression changes when you see him standing there in the doorway. “Joel? What’re you do—”

“I wanna talk to you,” he says, the words coming out in a rush. His heart is hammering in his chest. He steps through the doorway, shuts it behind him. “Please.”

“Why are you wet?” you ask, your eyes narrowing, but then you shake your head, waving your hands. “Doesn’t matter. What…you wanna talk?”

“I do.”

“About what?”

He heaves a breath. “You. Me. Tess, she—”

You lift a hand, your expression turning defeated, and reach for the whiskey. “It’s fine, Joel. I get it. It’s not like I expected you to wait around for me or anything like that, but just for the record, it’s not reason enough to avoid me like the fucking plague.” You take a swig from the bottle, tearing your eyes from his.

“I’m sorry,” he says instantly, and takes a step towards the table. You lower the bottle, slide your gaze back to his. “About all of it, Liv. Please. I just wanna talk you.” 

He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, shakes the water from his fingers. You don’t say anything when he shrugs out of his jacket, hangs it on the hook near the door, settles into the seat across from you. He points towards the whiskey, and you slide it across the table to him. The liquor burns on the way down, but the warmth that follows helps with the chill from the rain.

You lean back slightly in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest, staring him down. “You wanna talk, Miller,” you say, and part of him wonders how much you’ve had to drink already. “Then talk.”

He takes another long swig of the whiskey. The noise the bottle makes as he puts it back down seems to echo through the apartment. “I’ve been an asshole,” he says, his gaze dropping to his lap, “since the gas station. I’ve been trying my goddamn best to push you away, and I just…” He lifts his head, lets one hand rest on the table, an olive branch between you. “I’m sorry.”

“You said that already.”

“Liv, I just…I did some terrible shit out there, to stay alive. I’m not the same. But I know you aren’t either.”

“We all do terrible shit to stay alive, Joel.” You huff a little laugh. “It’s just the way of the world now.” You drag a hand over your face. “Besides, you are the only thing I have left,” you say, and Joel’s heart jumps into his throat, “from before.” You blink hard, and he can see the tears gathering along your lashes. Everything in him wants to vault the table separating you and just hold you. “I was gonna leave Boston. Before they put up the wall, when all that was standing in my way was a fucking chain link fence. I was gonna leave. Then Cowan calls the Austin QZ, asks about my family, and there’s no record of my sister, no record of you, but my parents…”

You trail off, shaking your head, squeezing your eyes shut. You wipe at your cheeks, and lay your hand on the table, inches from his. Joel’s fingers twitch.

“What happened?”

“FEDRA levelled Austin, when it was overrun. My parents were in a shelter, when they dropped the bombs, and no one survived.”

Joel balks. He remembers, that night, the outbreak. He remembers Tommy’s truck barrelling down the road, down the main drag where the hardware store was. He remembers flames pouring out of the storefront, shattered glass and the way the awning had caught fire. He remembers praying to whoever the fuck was even bothering to listen anymore that your family was okay.

“So you stayed.”

You nod, fingers tapping on the table. “I stayed. I got lucky, really. Dean got me good, before I…” You trail off, rubbing at your shoulder. “They were killing anyone who was injured, shooting them point blank in the streets. I just ran, and nearly a week later, when the soldiers stopped me at the fence, I was still me, and Cowan made sure no one saw my injuries, had Deanna treat me. Left a nasty fucking scar.” You squeeze your shoulder, pulling your eyes from Joel’s. “I never stopped wanting to go looking for you, Joel. Not once. I just—”

He shakes his head, flexes his fingers on the tabletop. “It doesn’t matter, Liv. You did what you had to, to stay alive. We all did.” He swallows hard. “When did it happen? With Dean.”

You grab the bottle, turning fully to face him, your other hand still planted inches from his. “Outbreak day. It’s funny, actually, I had just been on the phone, with you, you remember?”

Joel lets himself smile, the conversation rising to the surface of his mind. “We wished each other happy birthday.”

“We did,” you agree, and take a swig. “I just got home, and Dean was…he was just standing there, in the bedroom, staring out the window. He didn’t notice me, not at first.” You shake your head, letting go of the bottle, rubbing your fingers across your forehead. “I shouldn’t have done it, looking back, but I didn’t know, and I…I called his name. He turned, and he looked at me with that…that dead look they have, you know? And then…then he started running at me, and I knew something was wrong. I kept the bat right by the bedroom door, and when he came at me, I just…swung. Until he stopped.”

You grab the bottle again, and Joel flexes his pinky wide, until it grazes yours. Your eyes drop to the table. “You protected yourself, baby.”

It’s like everything in the apartment shifts, as the endearment rolls off his tongue. He doesn’t mean to say it so soon, but everything in him is aching to comfort you, the feeling tenfold after being stuffed down for so long. Why did he put you through this? Why did he put himself through this?

Your eyes are watery when they lift to his again. “I never should have left Austin, Joel,” you say, and slide your hand across the table, settling it on top of his, your palms pressed together. “I never should have left you.”

“I’m here now,” he says, letting his fingers curl around your wrist. His heart races when you do the same. “It doesn’t matter. None of it.”

Your thumb slides across his pulse, and your eyes flutter shut for a moment before they meet his again. There’s fire in your eyes, one he hasn’t seen in a long, long time. “What are we doing here, Joel?”

His brow pinches. “What d’you mean?”

“This is the ultimate second chance,” you say, and he can’t help his chuckle, “and we are royally fucking it up.” He keeps laughing, and you dig your nails into his skin, making him yelp. “It’s not funny, Joel!”

“I know, I know,” he says, his tone going apologetic. “It’s just…you and Tess get on well, don’t you?”

You scoff a little laugh, nodding. “She’s a badass.”

He juts his chin towards you. “So are you.”

“I get it,” you say, pulling your eyes away. Your hand stays where it is. “The two of you, it makes sense. I…I was with Cowan.” You make a face. “Am with Cowan? I don’t know. It’s just…comfort, I guess, but now, it…”

Joel can’t help but bristle slightly. “He’s helped you all these years?”

You nod slowly. “Hasn’t ratted me out, got me out of some pretty deep shit once or twice. But he’s not…” You nail him to the spot with your stare, leaning forward slightly, sliding your hand up his arm until it’s wrapped around his forearm, resting in the crook of his elbow. “He doesn’t come close, Joel. Dean, Cowan, they’re just…” You shake your head. “They’re nothing, compared to you. I could never love anyone else the way I loved you.” You pause, chew your lip. “Love you.”

“Liv—”

“But I won’t get between you and Tess, I promise. I like her, and you and me, it doesn’t—”

“Tess broke things off,” he says, and your eyes go wide. “She was right. I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing, pushing you away, thinking it was easier that way. I don’t want to stay away from you anymore. I can’t stay away from you.”

“So don’t.”

“You just said you and Cowan—”

“It doesn’t fucking matter. None of it matters.”

Joel’s brain stalls, for a moment, seeing the flare in your eyes. He gets up slowly. Your hands move to your lap as he rounds the table, pulls you to your feet. There’s only inches between you, the air turning thick with tension. “Say it again,” he says, his voice hushed, almost a whisper.

You close the distance, stepping into his arms. His hands slip beneath the hem of your sweater, resting on your jean-clad hips, and Joel inhales deeply when your palms slide up his biceps, rest on his shoulders, one hand slipping up the back of his hair, wet curls twisted between your knuckles. 

“Don’t stay away from me,” you murmur, tugging lightly at his hair, until his face is angled with yours. He can smell the whiskey on your breath, see the remains of the bruise on your cheek. He can feel your heartbeat, wild against his own, your chest against his. “Be with me, Joel, please.”

Your voice cracks on the please, and that’s what gets him. The tension snaps, and he can’t hold back anymore.

There’s no hesitancy in it. It feels like he’s kissing you for the very first time all over again — feels like he’s seeing you for the first time all over again. The press of your mouth is hot and wet, a tiny mewl falling from your lips to his as you hold him to you, your fingers tightening in his hair. He kisses your bottom lip, then the top, sinking his teeth into your flesh, pulling more tiny noises from you. God, he’s fucking missed you, so goddamned much.

You chase him when he pulls away, grabbing his lower lip between your teeth, making him groan into your mouth, giving you a hungrier kiss the second time round. He pushes you backwards, your boots tangling with his and suddenly you’re a heap of limbs on the ground. You actually laugh and Joel kisses the sound right out of your mouth, licking his tongue along the seam of your lips.

The motion makes you whimper, adjusting yourself beneath him until your thighs are spread either side of his hips, your boots planted on the ground. Everything in him feels white-hot, and he can’t stop kissing you, making up for lost time, pouring his apologies into his kisses, memorizing the way you feel and taste now.

“Joel,” you gasp out when he slides his hand along your jaw, tilts your head back on the wood floor, noses his way down your throat.

“Yeah, baby?” he murmurs into your skin, inhaling you deeply, kissing at your pulse.

“Take me to bed.”

PREV | NEXT

#my fics #strawberry wine #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #the last of us #the last of us fic #the last of us spoilers #joel miller x oc #joel miller x liv stone

[drosselmeyerwrites]

SessKag Fandom Chat

Before I write more, I want to first say that this is not a warm and fuzzy Tumblr post. There has been a lot going on in the SessKag fandom over the past couple years, and this post is going to be discussing what has happened and what is still happening behind the scenes there. If you are not in the mental or heart space to invest time in fandom drama, this post is not what you are looking for right now. If you want to preserve your peace or do not want to be made aware of the unsavory details of what has occurred, now would be the time to scroll.

If you are still here…

I want to start by saying that this post was not approached lightly. Myself and others have watched for a long time now (mostly) quietly as certain creators and participants in the SessKag fandom have incited discontentment and exclusivity under the pretense of “support” and “inclusion.”

At best, they have spread individual perspectives that they falsely attribute to the masses; at worst, they have been outright bullying.

I am going to attempt to be as non-confrontational as possible. What has been going on, however, makes this effort intrinsically limited. But due to the harm that has occurred, negative things will be discussed. It’s the nature of the beast. I’m not going to say the names of those involved in this negative behavior. Fandom being what it is, many have already noticed who’s doing what and have spoken of it in their own circles. So, while I am not saying names, many of you reading this will regardless know. I cannot help that.

To those who have been doing this, my first instinct was to show fandom in no uncertain terms what you have said and been orchestrating behind the scenes. There is plenty of screenshot evidence showing how you talk about creators, their works, and even your own supposed friends when you think no one is looking. But, as others in this fandom far wiser than me pointed out, too many would be unnecessarily hurt by this because they don’t know what you’re saying behind their backs while you smile to their faces and put up a false pretense of support. So, for the time being at least, those will not be shared.

It is hard to know what to share about everything that has happened, but a bit back, this post popped up on Tumblr, and the hashtags pretty much hit the nail on the head and described this situation within SessKag perfectly. So, I am going to piggyback off these hashtags to talk about the garbage this select group of people has been inciting. Hashtags are taken directly from the post previously linked.

#fandom is supposed to be a community#fandom is not a competition or popularity contest

Communities evolve, and fandom is no exception to this. What matters about fandom is that a group of people have come together to share a common interest. Sometimes, that interest leads to closer friendships that are long-lasting, and that’s  part of the magic of fandom. But in the last couple of years, for some reason some of you have taken the focus off the relationships and what brought everyone together to begin with. Instead, a higher value has been placed on “stats,” whose work is being talked about, shared, who’s winning fandom awards, etc. And when it wasn’t what you wanted to see, for some asinine reason, you took it personally and made it your mission to try and change it to what you wanted by tearing others down.

There’s nothing wrong with trying to promote works that may be falling under the radar; there is something wrong with the way you’ve gone about it.

There have been a few different distasteful tactics involved, which are discussed below. What I speak of here is stuff there is screenshot evidence for or other virtual evidence:

 “Squash” posting, where you intentionally try to push the content of others down feeds

Event mimicry

Post mimicry

Collection theft

Server poaching (There is nothing wrong with inviting people to Discord servers you create. There is, however, something wrong with staying in servers you bash behind the scenes for the sole purpose of trying to pad your own member list. This is especially true when you send “recruitment” messages that in any way disparage the efforts of the servers in which you disingenuously stay.)

Performance expectations (Behind the scenes, you have been hypercritical of people who are not as active in fandom as you deem required to be considered “valid.”)

Bashing authors behind the scenes (You can critique works you read; there is nothing wrong with that. But there is a difference between critique and bashing. And while no one can control what you choose to say and do, bashing is not okay. Making assumptions about authors’ personal lives and character based on their work is not okay.)

On the matter of mimicry, the behavior has been particularly appalling. SessKag does have some established fandom events and spaces that have been around for years. Certain people, who are sometimes also creators, are a part of keeping these things together. And they have done so consistently for years. This doesn’t mean that other people can’t make their own spaces or events—they absolutely can and should. But trying to reinvent the wheel and “takeover” what exists, is a different matter. Why do I say “takeover” in particular? Well, the server poaching mentioned above is one reason. But there has also been:

Name-calling and insults

Outright admissions that you are attempting to usurp these established efforts because yours are, quote, “better”

Expressions of violence when those running these established SessKag events and spaces say or do something you don’t like 

It should go without saying, but none of this is okay or appropriate. At all.

To the one spearheading this effort, I’m going to speak to you as a writer for a moment. There is this well-established fact in writing that it’s all been said and done, but it hasn’t necessarily been said and done by you before. So, if you have a creative idea, giving that an outlet is something you should do. But remember also that writers are warned that things can become predictable, redundant, or boring if all we do is approach it the same way. In the most extreme cases, it results in plagiarism and copyright violations. IP theft. Bringing something new to the table within a genre, subverting tropes—all this is important to making creations that share inherent characteristics with others  unique. It also serves to avoid outright copying.

Oscar Wilde said it best: “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.”

There is no room for copying and takeover attempts in any space. This does nothing more than destroy communities. If there is something more to add, add it. But adding to fandom means doing just that. It does not require the attempts there have been (and there absolutely have been) to destroy existing spaces and take someone’s idea and “do it better,” especially when your reasons to do so are nothing more than personal or straight up contrived.

#and no one is ‘higher’ than another because they write or draw or have a lot of followers #abolish this idea of hierarchy#we’re all here together and we’re equals

This one is especially interesting. Somewhere along the squall line of this drama, the concept of “pillars” came out. That is, this group of people inciting disquiet decided that certain authors were SessKag “pillars” because their work was popular, and these works were recognizable to a broad audience within our fandom. Others deemed “pillars” were involved in helping run different fandom circles they volunteer their time for. But for some reason, you all decided to paint these people as diabolical. As terrible people. As awful people. Other things I won’t waste time saying here.

And you do not know them.

I’m going to speak personally for a moment because I do know a lot of the “pillars” you’ve talked about and spread rumors about this way. They’re friends of mine, and they are some of the sweetest, most caring, honest, and heartfelt people out there. They do not call themselves “pillars” nor view themselves as such. And you’ve taken a steaming digital dump on them because, for some reason, them participating in fandom in the same manner that anyone else does has made you angry.

This is a you problem. And it is a big you problem.

“Pillars” do not control fandom audiences, and fandom audiences are allowed to consume whatever stories and art they wish. Just as we’ve seen within any genre of fictional works, some stories garner more attention and are more broadly read and discussed. That is literature. That is life.

No creator has done you wrong by writing/ drawing a well-loved work.

No member of the fandom audience has done you wrong liking any popular work.

For that matter, no one has done you wrong not consuming or commenting on your works. That is not owed—to any of us. Of course, we love feedback. But it is not required for anyone to leave feedback to be a good fandom member or a part of fandom.

There was no concept of hierarchy in SessKag until you all started this nonsense. You attributed a label, intent, and attitude to people you do not know that doesn’t even exist within them. But you committed to this garbage based on nothing but your own perceptions and false assumptions. This is not okay, and singling out people like this accomplishes the opposite of what community is supposed to do.

The only time there is a “hierarchical” structure, so to speak, is perhaps in fandom events or projects. And that’s because the whole world of fandom can’t manage a single event. It would be chaos. So, there’s an event runner who orchestrates things and sets up the rules, and if one chooses to participate in that event? Yes, there is a reasonable expectation that you go along with what the event coordinator has set up.

Fandom spaces like Discord servers, blogs, events, etc. are never without a need for help. Help has been asked for repeatedly in the past in SessKag spaces. What that help requirement is will vary by situation. But it’s not like there has never been an opportunity to step up and help in these roles. There has been. So we also cannot fairly say that certain people are just trying to control things in Sesskag, as you have also done. Participating in these broad fandom spaces has always been welcomed.

#and fic and art are not ‘content’#content just means stuff#what writers and artists make is more than just stuff

I touched on this briefly earlier, but we’re going to loop around back to it. Somewhere in the past couple of years, you’ve decided that people must actively create to “matter” in fandom. This is ludicrous. Fandom is a place to come as you are when you can come. Everything in fandom is done on a voluntary basis and is a labor of love. People have lives that take priority over fandom—as they should. Expecting that people constantly churn out fanworks to be considered relevant is unreasonable, and there's no place for this mentality in fandom. 

There is also plenty of screenshot evidence showing where you criticize what creators choose to produce, complaining about their works’ genres, tropes, etc. To add to the list, you are complaining behind the scenes about specific creators never reading nor commenting on your works or other works you think they should be doing so on.

So, to that, several things need to be said:

The only requirement in fandom is not being a jerk to others.

No creator owes a fandom stories.

No creator owes a fandom fanart.

No creator owes you fanworks that meet your preferred tropes, genres, categories, etc. rather than what they want to produce.

No creator/ reader owes you comments on your fics.

No creator/ reader is required to read your or any other creator’s fanworks.

No one is doing you or anyone else wrong by not doing these things.

Everything I said up above is true. 100%. Non-negotiable. Yes, it’s nice when we get comments or find works that fit our preferences. And, yes, creators and readers can have very valid frustrations on these matters. But you still don’t call the shots on what others do for fandom or what they consume. 

Fandom is no one’s personal playground where everyone must cater to your whims. You curate your own experience, and that’s it. But that’s not how you’ve chosen to act. Of course, you aren’t physically there to breathe down fandom members’ necks and try to make them do what you want. But when they don’t do these things that you’ve arbitrarily set up as “rules,” they are suddenly doing something wrong, and you put them on blast behind the scenes. 

This is where things begin to take a devious turn. In public fandom spaces, and we’ll include closed servers in this, you give lip service to the opposite. You express for people to do as they want when they can. But in the private conversations, you’re speaking out the other side of your mouth. You’re trashing people for violating your personal expectations on these matters.

Again, that is neither appropriate nor okay.

It also contributes to ableism in the fandom. That’s another topic in and of itself, but the bottom line is that not everyone can consume or produce content the way that your expectations demand–all for different and valid reasons. Whether or not that is understood by you doesn’t matter. It also doesn’t negate that it is ableist.

Following this, there has been this new idea perpetuated that “old works” or creators are out of touch or don’t matter anymore, but that is not how art nor literature works. Never has been. And significance and impact are not limited by a timeline that a handful of people arbitrarily decide. On top of this, it’s a massive lack of respect for the fans and creators that helped to build this fandom well before you ever dipped your toes into it. Disparaging old works in the manner you have does nothing more than poison the well, so to speak, because those works are either the whole reason people have a fandom to enjoy to begin with. Or, in the case of works created only a handful of years back, they’re a part of fond, meaningful fandom memories for SessKag fans.

Works stick in people’s minds based on that work’s own merit. This is why you have people who love maybe a single book by an author, but they don’t like any of their other stuff. It’s why you might enjoy one song by an artist and then none of their other music. You can’t make something suddenly more significant to people by telling them that something is more relevant or better just because it’s newer. That’s a single criterion in a long list of reasons on why works become loved by individuals, and the consumption of any art form is subjective to begin with. Trying to police how people perceive these fandom writings and artworks is an inappropriate and misplaced effort.

You have the same opportunity any other fandom creator does to create a fanwork with a long-lasting impact on the fandom. At the end of the day, it's the luck of the draw. Creators don't know what is going to stick with readers and become a broadly-loved fanwork. It just happens when it does.

The works and fandom members make that decision for all of us.

#let’s make fandom more of a community again and lift each other up and support each other and make friends again

Many of you have been in the SessKag fandom for a long time. Some of us have participated for a little bit now, and others are very new. No matter where you sit in terms of fandom longevity or how you contribute, you are a part of this fandom. You matter. Your thoughts, feelings, and opinions—as far as they do not harm nor attempt to control others—are valid. It doesn’t matter if your most recent fanwork share was yesterday or ten years ago. It doesn’t matter if you do nothing but lurk. There is no requirement to be a part of fandom except that you’re here for the subject matter and aren’t a jerk to others.

Fair is fair. As much as everything here in this post addresses a distasteful lack of judgment, humans are going to human. We all have moments where our asses show, and we all have moments we need to learn from. What we do when we realize that is what really matters because none of us are perfect. No one should expect perfection. Everyone, even friends we love and hold dear, will screw up at one time or another, and this is one reason why relationships take work.

I don’t want to step away from this without acknowledging positives to those people this post addresses. None of this means that, if you have been hurt by anyone in fandom, that you suddenly have to make nice and be buddy-buddy with them. No. You’re allowed to set and keep boundaries. But life is nuanced, so in light of that I do think it’s important to recognize more than just the bad that’s been thrown in our faces lately.

To those of you participating in everything discussed in this post, you guys are parents, spouses, friends—just like all of us. I know you have been there to support each other when that has been needed, and you all also contribute a whole lot of joy to fandom. People love the work you all put out there. Why? Because you are a talented group of people. I have seen art and moments in fanfiction you all have created that resonate with me and make me feel things. There is so much beauty in what you all contribute and can contribute to fandom. And really, moving forward, I hope that is what stands out and shines. Because that is the part of you people look at and are inspired by. These are the kinds of things that make fandom a better place and fosters an environment of friendship and a shared love for a niche thing that not everyone out there gets. But we do. We share that.

All this other stuff? It’s unnecessary. It doesn’t support fandom. It doesn’t support the people in it. It kills the spirit of fandom that has always made it the special thing it is. But it’s also something that can be left in the past. It doesn’t have to be how you choose to move forward.

All these people you have been talking about in the dark corners of Discord and the like? They’re people just like your friends. They’re people just like you. And again, I hope you take a moment to reflect on how you really do not know them well enough to be making the character accusations you have. A lot of assertions have been made in a way that acts like you know them better than you do. That is deeply inaccurate, and unfortunately because people’s names have been dragged through the mud, we have to point that out. Because at the end of the day, there are people you’ve said these falsehoods to who, until now, have heard nothing but your opinions on people you largely do not know.

As previously stated, humans will human. We will all mess up. But it’s how we choose to move forward after we’re aware of it that truly matters.

Here’s to choosing to do what is right. And here’s to SessKag reclaiming what it once was. 

#sesskag #sesskag fandom #be kind to fanwork creators

[prettygirl-gabi]

Darl+ling You

Rating: General Audiences

Warning: Fluff, mention of lung surgery, hospital, care giving (mainly from S.coups), recovery, mention of 2521 ( a realistic k-drama that broke me to pieces) Happy ending I swear!!

Category:F/M

Fandom: Seventeen (SVT) (boyband)

Relationships: !Idol-boyfriend S.coups x !f non-idol reader

Summary: You are going through something that is going to be very life changing for you and S.coups, but you try to keep pushing for him, yourself and everyone else.

P.s. this is based off my current experience with being sick, and I just wanted to write about it with one of my comfort idols. S.coups, but mainly all of svt, and a few more kpop groups and idols have been keeping me out of a dark place since I've been diagnosed with my chronic histoplasmosis disease in my left lung.

ScScScScScScScScScScScScScScSc

As you lay in your hospital bed, weak and vulnerable after the lung surgery, S.Coups never left your side. He held your hand tightly, providing comfort through his mere presence when he could be there.

"Hey babe, how are you feeling?" S.coups said as he gently brush your wild hair out of the way. You smile softly, yet full of pain that can be seen. "Ugh... I'm in pain but having you here makes it bearable."

S.Coups pout slightly as he puts your hair in a silk bonnet that look brand new. "I'm not going anywhere; I'll be right here with you until you're back on your feet."

Throughout your time together at the hospital, S.Coups took on various roles - caregiver, cheerleader, and confidant. He made sure you, his darling Y/n followed all medical instructions while also showering you with love and affection.

"Ya, Y/n don't forget to take your medication on time; it will help speed up your recovery." He says in a soft tone as he breaks your pill in half so it'll be easier for you to swallow.

You roll your eyes at him with a cheesy grin on your face. "I hate taking pills... but if it means getting better sooner so we can go on that vacation we planned... I maybe can make an exception."

"Exactly! We have so many adventures waiting for us once you're fully recovered... plus I owe you front row seats to our concert that's coming to town soon, and the boys really want to see you." He stated as he sat one the recliner that was in your room.

Slowly as the weeks progressed with you getting better the conversations were filled with laughter, and light banter as you reminisced about past memories; plus shared dreams for the future. You loved how he found a way to take time off... to fly to the hospital that you had surgery at during his busy schedule all for you.

One evening while watching Twenty-five, Twenty-one together; your eyes filled with tears as you thought about the uncertainty of her condition.

Pausing the show, you sit up with tears in your eyes. "What if something goes wrong, Seungcheol?" You asked as you look at the wires and medical machines you were hooked to.. trying to contain the tears that weren't fully out of your eyes. "What...what if it comes back but worse like the doctor said it would if they didn't... they didn't get it all out of me."

S.Coups quckily shushed you and pull you closer into his body as he laid in the hospital bed with you. "Hey, hey, hey darling..don't think like that. You're strong, and we'll get through this together. I love you... Y/n my sweet darling, and I made a promise to you when we made us official, baby. Thorough thick and thin, me and you til the end... princess."

You sighed as you look in his eyes for any tells of him lying to you, but giving in once he kisses the tip of your nose. "I love you too, and I thank you for all that you have done for me while being a busy man for yourself." You say as you try to catch your breath once again for the 3rd time that day.

He just shushed you once more in a caring yet loving way, and turned Twenty-five, Twenty-one back on. "Let's focus on Na Hee-do and Baek Yi-jin for now, yeah." He stated as he wiped your tears and kissed your left temple.

S.Coups' unwavering support and reassuring words provided you with the strength to face your fears head-on. As days turned into weeks, the growth of your health gradually improved, thanks to S.Coups' constant care and encouragement... even with his busy schedule as an idol.

Finally, the day arrived when you were discharged from the hospital. S.Coups couldn't hide his excitement as he helped you and your mom who was also taking rotation shifts with him pack your belongings.

S.Coups pushes you in the wheelchair to the car as he thinks about what he is planning to feed you when your mom isn't feeding you what she has cooked with love for you. "No more hospital food! We can finally enjoy your favorite homemade meals again."

You shook your head with a chuckle as you both reach the car. "And no more uncomfortable beds! I can't wait to sleep in my old yet still cozy bed." You state as you get in your moms freshly cleaned car to head to your childhood home to recover properly, and safely.

You and S.Coups knew that your love had triumphed over adversity, and so much more. The both of you were ready to face whatever challenges life threw your way, knowing that together the both of you could conquer anything, especially with the love, and care you had for each other.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

Thank you for reading! 🩵🩶

-Mrs.Cody-Song

#kpop #kpop fluff #seventeen #seventeen ambw #svt imagines #kpop imagines #kpopidol #svt scoups #scoups #choi seungcheol #scoups x reader #y/n x scoups #darl+ing #song based #comments really appreciated #rebloging #fluff #f reader #sad reader #2521 #na hee do #baek yi jin #twenty five twenty one #kdrama #!idol boyfriend #boyfriend scenarios #s.coups #relationship #fan fiction #fan writing

[terry-perry]

Smile Through Your Fear and Sorrow

Pairings: Ex!Steve Rogers x Odinsdottir!Reader, Steve x Peggy (implied, but can also be open to interpretation)

Genres: Angst, songfic? (more of a story inspired by listening to a song multiple times), Family fic

A/N: Another AU for my popular AU. Basically a "What If...?" scenario where Steve and Odinsdottir break up because he stayed in 1945. However, he returns sooner than what we saw in Endgame. And not alone...

Inspired by ABBA's "Angel Eyes," as well as Charlie Chaplin's "Smile."

Enjoy the angst!

"No!"

"Yes!"

It was the talk of New Asgard now. Last night had been such drama.

"Last night, I took a stroll along the waters, and I saw him with this new woman! They looked very happy together."

Thor narrowed his eyes at the two women discussing this so openly at the bakery like this was entertaining gossip.

"You should've seen the way he looked at her. Absolutely spine-chilling!"

"Was it anything like how he'd look at the princess?"

"Oh no! This was even more intense!"

He had half a mind to lift up his hood and let his intimidating presence put a stop to their conversation. He had more important matters to attend to though. He turned back to the pastries displayed in front of him and pointed at the sweet bread he knew she loved. He hoped it would lift up her spirits for at least a moment.

Yes, it was true. Steve was not only back but has returned with another woman. They ran into him in New York after everything. It was not only a surprise to learn that he was back, but was with somebody else. Apparently, this was someone from his past that he brought back with him after returning the Infinity Stones. Someone he just couldn't be without.

Thor wanted so much to confront them, to at least talk to this woman about how she better be careful. This was all just a game to Steve. Everything might be lovely now, but it won't be long until there's trouble in paradise after realizing who he truly is. She'll be deceived by his charms and be forced to pay the price when the time comes.

Thor thought Y/N would think so so. He thought she might be hurt by Steve's sudden return, but she maintained that everything was fine. In fact, she kept going on with how happy she was for them.

Then the siblings decided to host a lovely gathering to help celebrate Mid-Summer. They invited their Midgardian companions who were very excited to help enjoy this celebration of light, fertility, and music. Even though Steve came and brought along his new female friend, Y/N kept insisting it was all right. Everything did seem to be okay at first, with everyone distracted by all the fun. Bonfires, traditional music, and the burning of corn dollies to celebrate the brightest time of the year were wonderful ways to forget about all worries.

Then last night happened.

On the third and final night of Mid-Summer, the new couple took the opportunity to announce their engagement. That was when Thor witnessed it. It was only for a brief moment, but he managed to spot the tears springing into her eyes and her lips trembling.

A dull, hollow feeling filled his chest as he saw her. Then, a flicker of light appeared. He saw her with a smile and a fresh face, which was nothing like the broken look he just saw. The split second of changing energy was too quick for everyone else to notice as they were in the midst of congratulating the newly engaged couple. He was the only one worried about what she would think, and he finally saw that everything wasn't okay.

Try as she might, Thor finally saw how not-okay Y/N actually was.

To Be Continued...

#steve rogers x reader #odinsdottir #asgardian!reader #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #x reader #mcu au #imagine #mcu fanfiction #steve rogers imagines #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers #thor x sister!reader #loki x sister!reader #thor x jane #loki x sylvie #steve x peggy #steggy

[desswright29]

Sweet Lady

Pairing: Shuri x Blackfem reader

Authors note: This is Part 3 of my Shame series. It’s a little something for everyone in this chapter Chile! It’s a series so walk with me loves. Shuri is basically having flashbacks trying to figure out where she went wrong. So each Chapter gets worse. Reader eventually becomes a singer, but not yet so I’m not putting that reader is a singer. ANYWAY! Enjoy My Loves. I’m having fun writing this! And remember I’m hella new to this so be gentle with me.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, Fluff, It’s a lil smutty (18+), Foul language

Word Count: 6,652 (like I said walk with me lil baby)

Shame pt. 3

PRESENT DAY

That dance. That one dance changed everything. Introduced Shuri to a love she’d never believed to be possible. It also lead to an endless spiral of fucking drama. ‘Shit, to this day, that’s why I’m locked in a fucking bathroom hyperventilating now, Pathetic’. Shuri chuckled through her tears still looking at herself in the mirror. You’d always had a crazy effect on her. Like you held a remote control to her body. It activated at the mere mention of your name. But in that same reality you’d make her feel powerful. When you and Shuri connected that day it brought out a beast in her. One that everyone had to sit up and take notice of. It’s what made her the worthy Queen she was today. Imagine her people who thought so highly of her seeing her in a puddle on the floor of a bathroom all over  some woman. Ha! But you were so much more than just that. Everyone who could get close to you knew it. 

‘Get it together!!!’ Shuri screamed at herself inside. 

‘You cannot do this here’.

She turned on the cold water, placing shaky hands under the powerful stream, she collected water and splashed it against her face. 

‘Pull it together. You are a Queen. You have work to do’

She looked at herself in the mirror, eyes swollen and puffy, face drenched in water. She reached for the paper towels. Pulling out a few and pressing them to her face, allowing them to soak up the moister. She reached into her small bag draped across her body pulling out her shades and her gloss. She applied her gloss and placed her shades over her eyes. 

She gave herself a once over, smoothing her hands over the wrinkles in her suit. 

She walked over to the door unlocking it, placing her hand on the knob she let out a deep exhale opening the door. 

Nakia and Okoye stood still awaiting her command. 

“I’m ready” She spoke as if nothing had happened, having successfully numbed herself temporarily. As she walked, avoiding looking at any screen, the conversations surrounding her, the name continuously being called overwhelmed her. And she found the memories came flooding back again. 

—————————————————————————

BACK IN THE DAYZ

“Mmm Fuuuuuckk” Shuri whispered. She was supposed to be preparing for her nightly call to her girlfriend. Instead, after she’d gotten in from the market. She found herself turning on soft Afro-beats music. It came pouring from speakers built in and strategically hidden in the perfect places around her Luxury apartment inside the palace, surrounding her in the beautiful sounds. Lying back on the couch in her room, the days events played on repeat in her mind. She found her hands slowly moving down her body. Down past the band of her briefs her fingers found her folds dripping wet. “Hmmm” she sighed. Imagining her. Her naturally intoxicating scent. The way her soft, kinky textured hair smelled of butters and oils, a hint of Mango.

Y/n found herself in the shower body pressed against the slick marble wall. Her hands having traveled the same path as Shuri’s own, not being able to get the feel of Shuri’s strong hands guiding her waist out of her head. The way her R’s rolled so beautifully off her tongue. The way her voice and body flowed one in the same. Silky smooth. Yea. That describes Shuri with perfection.

Shuri rubbed circles around her clit as she thought about how buttery soft y/n’s hypnotizingly brown skin, that seemed to be flaked with specks of gold, had felt in her arms. How her warm center had felt pressed against her thigh. “Ahhh Bast!” She was so close.

Y/n continued rubbing her clit. As she inserted 2 fingers with her free hand, doubling her pleasure. “Ooo my…!!!” She moaned out head thrown back against the wall as the feel of Shuri’s thigh pressed against her center ran so vividly through her imagination that she swore she was in the room with her. She pumped and circled her hands as she felt her core clench. A warm sensation starting in her belly taking over her entire body. She slid down the shower wall as her body began to convulse. “SHURI!!”

“Y/N!!” Shuri moaned out, her back arched as she came to the image of Y/n riding her pussy. Breast bouncing with each thrust of her hips. The image slowly disappeared from her mind as she came down from her high. She lay breathing heavily hands down her pants, when her Kimoyo beads Chimed. 

Griot: Panther incoming call from “Sthandwa Sami”

“Shit” Shuri said removing her hands quickly as though Eve was walking through the door. 

“Uh answer griot”

“Molweni, thando!” Shuri answered breathless and over enthusiastic.

“ Heeeey, baby?” Eve answered with a question in her tone. “I take it you aren’t mad at me anymore? You sound out of breath.”

“Oh you know I can never be mad at you too long Sthandwa. Just got out of a last minute training session. You know Okoye wants to spring them on me just so I can s-stay prepared. You know with the whole me being uh Black Panther now thing” Shuri rambled as she scrambled around the room pacing.

Shuri never Rambled. She was always cool, calm, and collected. This all had her frazzled. What the hell is happening to her.

“Hm, okay. Are you good, love?”

“Oh y-yea fine..fine. It’s just uh been.. been a really long day.” She says yawning and stretching. “I’m super tired” ‘From masturbating to another woman who’s walking distance from me’. Shuri’s shakes her head. 

“Um still no word of you making it anytime soon?”

Eve sighs “Not yet my love, I am trying.”

“Of course you are my dear. No rush”

Eve’s antennas immediately went up. What was going on? 

“Just like that?” Eve was confused. This conversation never fared this well.

“No need in arguing. I know how much your work means to you. And I respect that.”

“Wow, that’s a big jump in maturity since yesterday” Eve says brain begining to go into overdrive.

“Well what can I say. I learn pretty fast” Shuri says placing an exaggerated fake yawn at the end. 

“Okay love. You sound so very tired. I guess I’ll let you get some rest. Call me tomorrow.?”

“Yes tomorrow definitely. Ndiyakuthanda so much. I love you Thando”

‘Wtf was that’ Shuri and Eve simultaneously thought. 

“Ok baby. I love you too” Eve chuckled mischievously. The call ended. Something was definitely up and she was going to figure it out.

Shuri walked into the bathroom, while Y/n stepped out of the shower in her own room. They both walked up to the mirror. Y/n wiping the steam off of hers. Shuri looked at her self in the mirror shaking her head. 

“It should be out of my system now” they both say in union. 

“Griot have 5 dozen roses sent to Eve. The note should say “Just because it’s Monday”. Have them delivered tomorrow” Shuri demanded as she prepared for her own shower. 

“Yes Panther.” Griot answered.

—————————————————————————

Your alarm goes off the next morning and though you tossed and turned most of the night you found yourself awake and anxious about the day ahead. Would it be awkward? Will she still want you here, or would it be best for you to leave? What the hell was that feeling? Your body reacted when you thought of her. It wasn’t just lust though, that was the easiest thing to acknowledge. But there was an underlying need for her that you couldn’t quite place. You just wanted to be close to her, take care of her, make her smile. And that scared you, because you couldn’t have her. 

  You were due in the lab to help out with the progression on the borders, but decided to take a little extra time on getting ready today to calm your nerves. “When you look good you feel good,” You say. And you could definitely use a vote of confidence. 

 Going to handle your hygiene and refreshed your braids, you decided to put on a little concealer, some mascara, line your lips with a brown pencil and apply gloss. You placed on a burgundy biker short and sports bra set, adding burgundy joggers that had 3 orange stripes down the front, you let them hang low on your waist. Your top adorned with a mesh long sleeved top that stopped above your sports bra playing peakaboo with the top of your breast. You wore white, black and gold sneakers and finished off the outfit by tying the matching jacket to the pants around your waist. Giving yourself a once over in the mirror, running your hands over your straight back that hung to your waist, you looked pretty damn good. You went to the fridge to get 2  tupperware bowls filled with overnight oats you’d prepared the night before. One for you and one for Shuri. You were ready for the day. 

—————————————————————————

Shuri lay in bed staring at the ceiling not having slept a wink. Anxiety taking over. ‘Shit did anyone record?’ Ofcourse someone recorded. She face palmed. ‘Eve’s gonna find out without a doubt.’ Shuri tried to call her and was being sent to voicemail. “Fuck,Fuck,Fuck!” She knows. I wonder how Y/n’s feeling about all of this. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door followed by a twist of the door knob. 

“Sleeping in today Princess?” 

Shuri shot Okoye a glance but didn’t respond. Okoye gave a slight nonchalant nod as she continued walking towards her bed.

“Hm. How’s Eve?” Shuri immediately brought her hands up to cover her face as she let out a frustrated groan. “Okoye. I am in trouble.”

 “I’d say so I heard you and your scientist gave quite the show at the market yesterday.”

“Ooh BAAAASSST! It was just a dance! Everyone does Kompa all the time here!”

“Hey. I am not the one on edge about it here. But I will say that what I saw hardly looked like just a dance. I’ve seen the “friendly” version of Kompa and that wasn’t it”

“ SAW! Shit! Someone did record! Okoye, Eve has everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman.”

“I never questioned that.” Okoye said hand coming up to her chest in sarcasm.

“Buuut since you brought it up…Does she?”

Shuri looked at Okoye with exasperation.

Okoye continues. “Sure, Eve is gorgeous. But in the years you’ve been together, How has she been there for you? In the time you spent together, how have you found yourself compatible, mentally, spiritually. Do you really feel a connection?” 

Shuri doesnt give it thought. “I love Eve.” 

Okoye nods “ Ofcourse you do. You spent years together. But ask yourself this… When is the last time you felt with Eve whatever it is you were feeling when you danced with Y/n, or hell, even when you’re around Y/n. You can’t even control the way you look at her for Bast sake, We’ve all seen it.” 

Shuri was stuck. 

 “All I’m saying is you need to figure out what you want and reel this in before people start getting hurt…. You’ve got a long day ahead. Time to get going.” Okoye says as she leaves Shuri with her thoughts.

—————————————————————————

Shuri entered her lab searching for you before having to go to train with Okoye. Shuri’s eye’s landed on you as you spoke with some of the other scientist over a projected diagram of the river boarder. The burgundy against your buttery cinnamon skin making her heart drop. Shuri halted mid stride groaning at the sight of you. “Holy shhhiii-“ 

“Princess” one of her lab assistance interrupted Shuri’s thinking out loud. She recovered quickly, clearing her throat.

“We weren’t expecting you here today.” Tolu looked at Shuri with bright eyes and a pretty smile. Aware of her assistance little crush, she smiled nicely.

“Not here for long. Just stopping in on my way to training”

“Yes. I see” Tolu says, obviously checking Shuri out in he form fitting compression suit. 

Shuri raises a brow “If you don’t mind. I’m going to take a look at what they’re working on” Shuri motions over to where you and her  other scientist are working with her head.

“Oh, of course” She lifts her arm to touch Shuri’s bicep lightly before turning to walk away with an extra sway to her hips. 

Shuri shakes her head turning to make her way towards you all, she’s met with your intense gaze taking in the scene. ‘Is that jealousy I see?”

She made her way over and you quickly averted your eyes elsewhere. Delving back in to appear busy. Shuri nods and greets everyone. As she enters your space. 

“Hello Ms. L/n, how’s everything going here so far?”

 “We’re making  progress going over a few calculations. We’ll need your expertise with the depth of the Sonic barrier” You say still avoiding eye contact with her, staring down at a clip board.

  “Ah, we can work on that tomorrow. I have training and my first prep meeting for coronation today. Will that work for you?”

“That works fine, Princess.”

Shuri smirks while staring a hole in the side of your face. Her bottom lip settling between her teeth. You felt her eyes, but refused to look.

“Thank you all for working diligently. I appreciate you all  for your dedication during my absence. If you will excuse me and Ms. L/n a moment. She will be back with you all shortly.”

Shuri grabs your forearm and walks you up the stairs to her office. Your heart raced as you took in the muscles in her back as you walked behind her. They moved leisurely under the fabric of her form fitting shirt. She led you into her office closing the door behind her. She let go of you, moving to sit on the edge of her desk looking at you as you looked down at your feet. 

“Princess huh” Shuri says mockingly.

“That would be your title as of now right. Or should I refer to you as my Queen now.”

“Neither really since you are not Wakandan” she replies sarcastically.

“Cut the bullshit Shuri why am I here?”

“Hoooo! Hostile today aren’t we? We left off on pretty good terms yesterday as I remember. What changed?”

Shuri said both eyebrows raised as she awaited your answer. You both knew what the problem was. Her little exchange with Tolu had irritated you. ‘So she just flirts with every fucking body’. But you be dammed if you said that to her. Especially since being mad at her didn’t make any sense. You know, the whole she’s not your girl thing. 

“Y/n, are you planning to avoid looking at me the entire week?” Shuri speaks up.

 “I’m not avoiding looking at you” you said still looking down. 

Shuri stood placing her hand under your chin lifting your eyes to hers.

“ There she is..now tell me really. What’s up?”She took a step back taking her seat back on her desk. You look her in the eyes and there’s a brief moment of tense silence. 

“It’s really nothing Shuri. I’m fine”

“I apologize if yesterday was too much. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, no. I wasn’t uncomfortable. I-I l-liked it.” You stutter.

Shuri looked at you with a glint in her eyes. 

“Yea? Me too” Shuri says biting her lip. 

You break eye contact looking around her office, this being your 1st time inside, because she rarely uses it. Your eyes fall on a gorgeous photo of her and Eve that sat perched on her desk. A head shot of them. Shuri with her intense eyes staring forward wearing a sexy smirk head leaning slightly towards Eve, as Eve smiled big almost in a laugh with her head tossed slightly back. They both wore black. Eve with beautifully flawless chocolate glowing skin, A perfect smile that reached her deep dark eyes. With long single braids that flowed perfectly straight behind prominent collar bones. They were stunning together. 

“ You guys make one hell of a couple” 

Shuri was not surprised. She could pretty much gauge where your eyes had gone. She was aware of how striking of a couple her and Eve was. People literally stopped and stared when they were together. But you definitely rivaled her beauty. You looked back at her to see her eyes still very much focused on you. 

“ We do don’t we. It is almost to good to be true huh.”

“It is true though. Looks pretty damn true.”

You retort quickly, looking at her sternly. 

“You look really good today Y/n”

“Shuri-“ you huff

“ We don’t need to go there Y/n. I won’t beat around the bush. I won’t lie and say I’m not attracted to you. We danced. That’s what it was. We got a little caught up in it, but we’re both aware that that’s all it could be. I am in a relationship. I am not here to confuse you”

“ I won’t lie you kind of already have.”

“ I apologize, that is not my intention. We won’t cross that line again. No more dancing.”

“ Ok well that’s that then”

“ So nomore awkwardness?” 

“It’s done.”

“OK… “ Shuri looks you over. 

“ I must say you do look very nice today though. A little extra effort huh? What’s the occasion?” She says, eyebrows lifting with a sly smirk. Your heart stuttered. But you were quick on your feet. 

“ Since I’m taking over your lab for the week I figured I’d try to keep up with your lab swag”

Shuri Chuckles. 

“ Lab Swag?”

“ Man what! Not to pump your head up or anything but the swag is impeccable!”

Shuri threw her head back in a laugh.

“We’ll you’re definitely giving me a run for my money today. The look suites you.”

“Why thank you.” You smile. “Have you eaten today?” Shuri smiles 

“ Seems I’ve forgot again”

“ Not for long.” I made you some overnight oats they’re in the fridge in the lounge. You have a long day ahead you have to eat something. Let’s go get it”

“ Yes general” Shuri stands and salutes. 

“Don’t” you both laugh and go to get her fed. 

—————————————————————————

2 DAYS LATER.

The next couple of days you and Shuri grew closer quickly. True to your word, you made sure she ate atleast twice a day. She really enjoyed your cooking so she was eating well and that satisfied you. She would come to the lab each morning before training to check on progress made, and eat whatever breakfast you made her. You also started packing snacks and a lunch for her to eat in between meetings, trainings and rehearsals for coranation. 

    You also made sure you dressed impeccably every day. The stolen glances and slight flirtatious remarks from Shuri being your guilty pleasure. You’d spend late nights in the lab making sure everything was going as close to Shuri’s standard as possible. She would join you after her last workout of the night. You guys would talk and laugh, play music and just catch a vibe. But Sometimes touches lingered too long, She would be talking and you’d find yourself zoning just staring at her lips, and you would catch her doing the same. Sometimes, she’d stand to close behind you while getting a glance at something you were working on, you both catching eachothers scent, feeling her breath on your neck. It sent chills down your spine, and a flutter in your tummy. You both would always manage to reel it in though. You would “force” her to eat a little something else before sending her off to bed. But behind closed doors feelings were growing faster than you two could manage. 

This particular day you hadn’t seen her all day. She didn’t stop in the lab at all. Nor did you bump into her at all. You’d planned her favorite meal today for dinner, but guessed she’d have to eat it tomorrow. You’d decided to head in early tonight being that today had been successfully productive. Now you were in your room cooking the sides to your meal, dancing around to your 90’s r&b playlist in your boyshorts with no bra and a black silk pajama shirt that was long enough to cover just the cusp of your ass. You had only one button of it buttoned in the center, braids taken out allowing your puffy waist length hair to flow freely.

 You were turning everything off in the kitchen. When you turned around to see someone standing in the center of the room obviously enjoying the view. 

“GYATDAMNIT SHURI make some fucking noise when you enter a room.”

Shuri laughed from her belly until tears came out of her eyes, hunching over.

“ Bast! I needed that laugh after the day I’ve had. You should be more aware of your surroundings.” 

“ What happened to knocking” 

“You seemed preoccupied.” 

Shuri steps closer to the light in the kitchen and that is when you get a good look at her. Your breath hitched. Her hair had been braided jewels adorning the braids. She wore black slacks and a long black dashiki jacket with gold stitching on the high neck collar, down the lapel, and on the cuffs. (reminiscent  of T’Challa’s black and silver throne room outfit accept with gold) The look finished off with shiny black chunky heeled booties with a gold detailing on the toe.  She looked regal. Like the Queen she would soon be. 

“You ok” she asked.

“Fine.. I mean like I’m fine. Not like you’re fine. I mean you look really nice, but that’s not what I was talking about I meant like I’m cool.” You say mentally face palming. 

She looked at you with those intense eyes, one eyebrow raised, her mouth turned upward on one side, where you could see the top of her perfectly straight white teeth. She licked her lips as she walked closer to you. Getting closer to you she looked down at your short frame and leaned close to your ear.

“There’s no way I look better than you right now babygirl. But thank you” Your knees buckled as she walked around you to the pots on the stove. You remembered then how undressed you were, reaching to button the rest of your shirt. The wind of her passing smelled of vanilla and Sandlewood, putting you in a trance. 

“Huh?” You say to the question she’d just asked. 

“ I said it smells delightful in here. What are you making?”

“ Oh yea! I remembered you telling me Oxtail was your favorite so I decided to make Oxtail, Jollof rice, cabbage and plantain for you.”

Shuri turned and looked at you. 

“Are you serious?”

“Very. You’ve got a lot going on and I see it starting to weigh on you a bit, and well im here to be here for you right. It’s nothing really. I love to cook. But I thought I wouldn’t see you today so I was getting ready to fix a plate and put yours up for tomorrow.”

Shuri continued to look at you. An unreadable look flashes in her eyes.

“Well I’m starving tonight. So shall we eat?”

“Of course your majesty. I’ll use the good dishes for you.”

“Wow. You’re so funny.” She says with a sarcastically with a straight face. 

“Ha! Girl fuck you”

She stuck out her bottom lip and looked you up and down.

“I mean you do look pretty fu-“

“Don’t go there”

She steps behind you as you were about to climb up on the cabinet to reach for the plates, placing a hand on your left hip, pressing her front into your back. She grabbed the plates sitting them down in front of you lingering she brought her lips down to your ear.

“Why not?”

This was gonna be bad. You didn’t have much fight left in you when it came to your want for Shuri. You wanted her bad, and obviously the feeling was mutual. She brought her other hand to your waist and massaged. There it was again. Her breath on your neck.

You held your breath leaning forward ass pressing back into Shuri, hands gripping the cabinet as you closed your eyes tight biting into your lip. ‘Lord give me strength’ you thought to yourself. Releasing a shaky exhale you turned yourself around in her arms. 

Looking directly into her eyes (terrible idea) you mustered up enough strength to speak. 

“You know why.”

“That’s the only reason though”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s a damn good reason Shuri.”

“So you dont feel this…this tension between us.  How right you feel in my arms sthandwa. It’s like some magnetic pull when I’m around you”

“Shuri really let’s not do this. There’s no need to discuss it, because it can’t happen.”

“But you do feel it don’t you?”

“ Let’s just eat. Don’t make this awkward please Shuri.” You say removing her hands from your waist, you turn back around and grab the plates, walking over to plate the food.  Shuri silently walked to the sink, washing her hands before grabbing silverware and wine glasses setting them on the table. She removes her jacket draping it on the back of her chair. Leaving her in a form fitting black crew neck T-shirt. It was tucked snuggly into her pants being held up by a black belt stitched with gold detailing, complimented with a small gold buckle. The gold of her necklace that held her panther suit shining against her chest. She walks over to the wine fridge. 

“White or red.” Shuri asks

“Red”

“Sweet?”

“Yes” You say as you walk over to set the plates down. You glance at Shuri and your heart drops to your belly. ‘Why is she so fucking fine’. Shuri opened a bottle of wine and poured. You went to sit down and Shuri grabbed your wrist, pulling you to her. 

“ I didn’t mean to make it awkward. Sthandwa. We can continue to pretend. I won’t press. I just want to be near you tonight. Is that alright?” 

She asks eyes searching yours. ‘She knows what she’s doing. Play it cool girl’

“ It’s fine with me.”

“Good” She walks you over and pulls your chair out for you. You sit.

“ You don’t have to do stuff like that “

“ I want to” Knowing that there’s no need in arguing with Shuri you chose to move the conversation along. 

“Try your food! Let me know what you think.”

Shuri picked up an Oxtail with her hand, piling some rice, cabbage, and a piece of plantain on it with her fork. She brought it up to her mouth sucking the tender piece of meat and garnishments off the bone. She closed her eyes and sat back as she chewed nodding to herself she hummed in approval. You bit your cheek to keep yourself from moaning. She opened her eyes catching your lustful stare. She smirked.

“That’s damn good sthandwa” You smile with a blush. 

“Thank you”

“Stunning, a genius, funny, and can do no wrong in the kitchen. You make this hard for me.“

“You’re such a flirt”

“ Only with you” She said picking up her glass of wine and taking a sip. You chuckle and you guys continue eating making lighthearted conversation.

When you guys finished she helped you clean up. Washing dishes and all that. As she put up the last dish. You pushed yourself up to sit on the tiny island. 

“So can I ask what went on today. You said you needed a laugh when you 1st came in..”

Shuri sighed pouring you both another glass of wine. She leaned against the counter across from you.

“I’m just tired Y/n. I don’t know if I want to do this. Everything has just been so go go go. I haven’t had time to process. I haven’t heard from Eve at all in two days. My body aches. My mind is everywhere. I’m eating thanks to you but sleep still fails me most nights. The only thing keeping me going right now is my duty to the throne, and that’s only because I feel like I owe it to my family. They’ve given their lives for this and it’s up to me to keep it in the family. It’s so much pressure. I never believed it would come to this. I’m only a scientist. Now I am to be the ruler and protector of Wakanda, and I’m doing it all alone.Nobody seems to care that I’m hurting. There’s no room for me to display weakness.” Shuri had tears streaming down her face she didn’t bother to wipe. You hop off of the island and pull Shuri into an embrace.

“ You’re not alone Shuri. You’ve got Nakia, Okoye, M’Baku, Ayo, Aneka and a whole nation of people who love you. Not to mention me.” You say sarcastically, Drawing a small smile from her. 

“Honestly, I don’t know what Eves problem could be and I’m starting not to like her very much, but focus on the people that are here and you can handle that issue when the time comes.” 

You lift her head from your shoulder holding her face with both of your hands. “You’re loved and we’re here for you if you let us be. Tell us what we can do to help from now on. Okay?” 

Shuri nods as you wipe her tears with the pads of your thumbs. Shuri felt her heart flutter. She looked down at your lips, tongue coming out and running against the bottom of her own. 

You felt yourself being pulled closer. Your lips almost touch when you pull away looking down. Shuri looked over to her left, eyes landing on the guitar she’d bought for you. A beautiful acoustic electric guitar with the amp and all.

“ All the drama that day in the market caused and I’ve yet to hear you play” 

You look back up at Shuri appreciating the change in subject. 

“ I can play for you. I usually go out onto the balcony at night to write and play. I’ve been working on a song. I only really have the first verse and the chorus”

“Oh you write your own music? I’d love to hear it”

“ Sure. Don’t judge though. It’s not perfect.”

“ Ahhhhh damn! You suck don’t you” 

You smack your teeth and laugh as she grins.

“I’ll let you be the judge of that”

You grabbed your guitar and she grabbed the amp and you guys moved your party onto the balcony. She sits as you set it all up. Sitting down you strum a few notes. She watches in anticipation. You look up and smile.

“Alright here we go.”

You lean over and pressed play having had recorded the guitar harmonies nights prior. You folded up your legs into the chair on the balcony. Closed your eyes and started to play. 

(s/n: guitar is so sexy to me)

Now any other day I would play it cool,

But I can’t now,

Cause I want you

You shocked Shuri as you’re smooth, seductive voice sung over top of the melody. 

See I’m hooked on

How you flex your style

And I wanna talk for a little while 

Shuri sat up in her chair not taking her eyes off of you, paying close attention to the lyrics you wrote.

I’ve never really seen your type

But I must admit

That I kinda like

So baby if you have the time

We could talk about

You being mine baby

You opened your eyes to find Shuri’s eyes burning a whole through you. You met her eyes  as you went into the chorus. 

Sweet Lady

Would you be my

Sweet love for 

A lifetime

I’ll be there 

When you need me

Just call and receive me. 

A fire starts to burn in Shuri’s belly as she reaches over for her glass of wine chugging the rest of it, while you went into the chorus a second time. Liquid courage. You stopped singing as you continued to play putting a little extra sauce on it making the guitar sing for her.  

You came to stop. 

“What did you think?”

Shuri stood, walking over to you. She removed the guitar from your hands sitting it gently next to your chair, crouching in front of you. Before you could think your next thought, Shuri’s lips were pressed against yours. You didn’t put up a fight this time. You couldnt if you wanted to your body was putty to Shuri’s touch. You brought your hands up around her neck as your hand traveled up her nape, rubbing her undercut. Her tongue came out licking against your bottom lip. You opened your mouth allowing her entrance, causing you both to let out a moan. Her hands wasted no time reaching under your thighs. Taking you from a seated position, to your heated core being pressed up against against her firm stomach. She walked you both back into the room. Sitting on the couch with you straddling her lap. 

  You both pulled apart to get some air. As oxygen poured back into your body so did a bit of common sense.

“Shuri we have to stop” 

“No….I have to stop”

“Huh? That’s what I said”

Shuri shook her head

“Y/n I can’t do this anymore. Pretending like I don’t want you. Like you don’t drive me fucking insane. Like I don’t touch myself thinking about you and the way you move. You’re always on my mind. The way you walk, the way you dress. Bast, the way you smell, how you take care of me, how you just get me. You make me feel loved and cared for. I want you so fucking bad baby. But I do have to stop. But you don’t…” 

You sat stunned at the confession. Waiting for the rest.

“I want to watch you cum on my thigh. I want to see my fantasy become reality baby. You said you want to be here for me….”She’s unbuttoning your shirt.

“Give me a show. Give me something to think about at night, ride me babygirl.” You moan as she pulls the silk shirt slightly off of your shoulders, not removing it just revealing your breast. She leaned back onto the couch. Bottom lip between her teeth eyes low, both arms lifted onto the back of the couch. 

“I won’t touch you. I just want to watch you get what you deserve from me. For Being so good to me Princess.”

All will power left your body as your hips started to move on their own.

Shuri nodded.

“Uhhuh. There you go baby. Ride that shit. Keep your eyes on me. Yes, just like that”

Her jaw went slack mouth slightly open watching your body roll on her thigh. You looked into her sexy dark eyes as you ground your panty clad pussy onto her muscular thigh. You were so wet the panties were purposeless. A squelching sound now echoing throughout the apartment. 

Shuri’s eyes rolled to the back of her head hearing how wet you were.

“FUUUCKK. That’s right make a mess on my pants baby. Little pussy so creamy for me. You needed me huh.” She said looking you right in your eyes. 

“ Aaaahh Shuriiii!!” You moan head falling back. You could cum just off of her words and the way she looked right now. You grabbed and held onto her belt for leverage speeding up your movements. Breast bouncing in her face. Shuri squeezed the couch cushions trying not to touch you. Shuri chuckled.

“Oh Fuck yea I knew you were a fucking pro. Work for that shit Y/n”

 You looked back into her eyes.

“Shuri please..”

“Tell me what you need love”

“Touch me! Kiss me! UUUUUhn please baby!”

Shuri let go of restraint gripping onto your hips guiding your hips to move even faster. As her lips attached hungrily to your neck. Biting and sucking on your skin. You moved your hands behind her neck squeezing as your core started tightening. She brought her left hand up to squeeze your breast, bringing her right arm around your hips moving you herself as she started a humping motion moving her leg to cause friction for you as she stayed attached to your breast. 

She moved her hand from your breast for a second to hook her finger into your panties and move them out of the way. Some of your juices got on her fingers and she brought them up to your breast rubbing them on both of your nipples adding some sauce to her meal. She devoured them.

“ You taste so fucking good”

“Oooo shit Shuri. Y-you’re m-making me feel so GOOOOOD!  I’m gonna cum!”

Your knee was accidentally buried inbetween her thighs grinding against her soaking wet clothed pussy. She humped against you as you humped her thigh. Shuri groaned starting to feel heat pooling at her core as well. You both looked so erotically feral desperately using eachother to chase euphoria. Shuri sat back pressing her core harder into your knee. Still grinding, wanting to watch you release. Both her hands going back down to your waist. She smacked the side of your ass.

“Come on sexy give me that shit. Make a fucking mess baby. I got you”

With that your face contorted mouth falling open letting out short choppy breaths “Ha ha ha ha ha MMMMMMMMMM” you convulsed on Shuri’s thigh coming to a shaking orgasm. Letting out the most disgusting of moans. Shuri’s brows furrowed together mouth falling all the way open, she let out a guttural moan.

“OOOOOH MY BAST! That shit was sexy! I’m gonna cum! FUCK!” Shuri said with surprise.

Watching the way you came so erotically quickly brought Shuri to her own orgasm pulling you in by your waist holding you tight against her while she buried her face into your neck, mouth wide open, eyes rolling to the back of her head, saliva dripping from the side of her mouth. “Uhn.. uhn.. Uhn.” groaning loudly with every thrust, cumming hard in her pants. 

You both held tightly onto eachother as you came down from your mutual highs. You were wrapped up in eachother. Breathing heavily. 

“Damn b-baby you came through your pants like that. You needed somebody to take care of that lil pussy too huh panther” You let go of her and looked at her one eyebrow raised, with a smirk on your face. Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline. You both burst into laughter.

“Don’t get cocky. We already broke the rules. I can carry you over to that bed and really send your sexy ass into a seizure.” Your mouth dropped as you slapped her arm.

“ You making fun of the way I cum?”

“Quite the opposite my love. That shit was sexy af”

Both of you laugh again as you fell back into her arms and she fell back into the couch holding you while you lay in her bosom.

Then there was a knock at the door, interrupting your moment. 

“Fuck” you say. You got up buttoning your  shirt and scrambling to find pants. 

“Did you have Dora with you?” You whispered panicked. 

“No. But I did let Okoye know I’d be here. It’s probably her.” Shuri said.

“Just a moment” you say while hopping into your pajama pants. 

“What if someone heard us?”

“ Calm down, just answer the door Y/n.”

You walked over to the door looking freshly fucked. Hair wild on your head, Eyes blown, lips swollen, hickeys forming. You opened the door. 

Your eyes go wide. 

“ I was told I could find Shuri here”

Eve.

______________________________________________

A/N: Welp hope y’all enjoyed! We’re gonna pretend the song Sweet Lady didn’t exist until this story. And it was written and Sang by a woman. AIGHT BYE!

Taglist: @oceean@blacksapphhicmaddonna,@doramilaj233,@sleepynggafr,@oceean,@6-noir

Forgot the Taglist my bad

#shuri udaku #shuri angst #shuri smut #shuri fanfiction #letitia wright #letitiawright #shuri black panther #shuri x you #shuri imagine #spotify #shuri fic #shuri x reader #shuri fluff #Spotify

[ultralightpoe]

Labyrinth - Eddie Munson

Authors Note: LMAO

Word Count: 6,691 (mmhmmhmmm)

Warnings: smut, angst, shitty writing.

Apart of my MIDNIGHTS EVENT. (Next Event is Sour by Olivia Rodrigo. Requests closed. Event following yet to be decided)

SOUR EVENT

MAIN MASTERLIST

Enjoy!

(In my world Benny wasn't killed, merely shot. Get it? Got it? Good.)

It only hurts this much right now

Was what I was thinking the whole time

Breathe in, breathe through

Breathe deep, breathe out

I'll be getting over you my whole life

You know how scared I am of elevators

Never trust it if it rises fast

It can't last

The situation wasn’t great, that much you would admit, anyone who could see you in this moment could attest to that. To make matters worse you had the perfect plan for today and having a panic attack in the janitor supply closet covered in spaghetti sauce had NOT been it. It hadn’t even been close. 

This had all started the day you saw pretty in pink in theaters, sadly by yourself. You had gorged yourself on popcorn and soda as you moped about the lack of friends. But that all changed when you saw Molly Ringwald. More specifically her fashion. 

You had been obsessed, well who wouldn’t be considering Molly Ringwald was THE GIRL. 

So you had gone home and dragged out your sketchbook, drawing sketch after sketch of the perfect outfit and just like she had in the movie you got to work. 

From the pants to the top and even managed to snag one of your dads suit jackets to finish off the look. You had this plan that you would show up, and people would compliment you. You would have your very own montage scene. 

That all came tumbling down when Regina had smashed her tray of spaghetti all over you as the entire cafeteria laughed, and when you tried to run out one of the basketball players had stuck his foot out to trip you up. 

You dashed to the nearest hiding spot, sobbing and covered in tomato sauces that you were positive was just ketchup warmed up. Your knee hurt from the fall and you could not manage to catch your breath. 

Your vision was getting blurry and dark spots were beginning to cloud so you launched a hand out to the shelf behind you to stabilize yourself. 

A wave of light hits the small space and for a moment you are afraid you had been found by a teacher but then the light fades and you think you are back to peace. Whoever had found you had decided to leave you to your drama. 

But you were wrong. 

“Hey, hey hey hey.” A soft voice calls out, two hands landing on your shoulders and rubbing softly. “You gotta breathe, come on. Take a breath with me, will ya?”

“I can’t.. I c-can-”

“Yes, you can. Just look at me.” One of the hands from your shoulder slides up to your jaw, the rings on the hand cool against your flesh as the fingers grip lightly. You're met with brown eyes, the warmest brown eyes you have ever seen. “There she is… now take a deep breath in with me.”

You could do nothing but nod, handing flying up to the arm that is holding you, nails digging into the leather as the figure before you breathes in slowly. You follow, inhaling and holding as they do, releasing when they do. 

This routine follows a couple more times and your vision clears minus the blurriness from the tears, until finally you were able to catch your breath and the stranger before you swiped the tears from under your eyes. Once it all clears up you recognize the figure to be Eddie Munson, the DnD captain of the school. 

And you can’t help but blurt that out. “You’re the DnD captain.”

He smiles, a small chuckle sleeping past his lips from where he was squatted on the ground to calm you down. “There aren’t really captains, it’s not a stupid sport-”

“Imsorry-”

“Hey now. Easy mistake.” He stops you, squeezing your chin softly before moving to stand. “It’s called a dungeon master, not the kinky kind. You should come sometime.”

“Why are you here?” You blurt out, trying to ease the shaking. You didn’t mean for it to come out so harshly but you were kind of embarrassed. 

“I saw what happened in the lunchroom and I wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

“You didn’t have to…”

“Oh bullcrap. What they did to you was messed up.” He snaps out, sitting across from you in the closet, your knees touching. “And I don’t have much but I can pay you back for shirt they ruined-”

“No. I actually made it.”

“You made that?”

“I did.”

“You make shirts?”

“This was my first… “

“You are absolutely kidding me, that looks professionally done.” He reaches a hand out to the fabric, running it between three fingers before nodding. 

“I got it from a movie. Pretty in pink. Molly Ringwald's character wears it in the first scene and I was absolutely in love with it.” 

“Haven’t seen it yet.”

“You should.”

“Yeah? How about tonight?” 

“I don’t know, you probably have stuff to do and I…..well my shirt-”

“If you’re worried about me canceling plans then I can assure you I have no plans tonight, and we have to go see the movie so you can get inspiration for your next outfit anyways. Because this one was far too awesome to let some brat in a small cheer outfit meant for toddlers to ruin it for you.”

“Chances are they ruin the next outfit too.”

“Well that’s why you aren’t going to eat alone. You my dear have been invited to the hellfire table.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t, I want to. Now come on, we have a movie to catch-”

“What about the rest of the school day?”

“What about it? Come on.”

“You won’t…….” A nervous flush crosses your skin as you look up to where he now stands with an outstretched hand. “Tell anyone about my fit?”

“It’s called a panic attack, and no I will not. That’s between you, me and that creepy broom I’m sure the janitor makes out with at night.”

“Oh that’s mean-”

“Her name is linda, and we should leave before she decides to splinter us.” He whispers and you can’t stop the laugh, reaching your hand up to his own outstretched hand, enjoying the warm feeling of it. 

-

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around

`

“Oh come on Dad.” You whine, leaning on the counter in the back kitchens of Benny’s diner as your father pretended to ignore you by flipping burgers at the grill. “Please please please.” 

“I can’t hear you.” He whistles, turning to nod to the fryer. “Add more fries. The Byers boys are about to come in and you know how they get about fries. You should also ask about your birthday, I know you haven’t sent out ny invitations because your mom keeps seeing them on the counter-”

“I don’t want a party, I want to learn how to drive dad.” You snap, moving to start the fries. Truth was no one would show up to your party, even if you invited them. You weren’t one that people went out of their way for.

“I will think about it.” Lie, he just didn’t like when you got upset. “Take those fries to the boys when you are done. Good people help good people.”

“Eddie will be here soon, make him a burger?”

“You got it, sugar.”

You smile from ear to ear, finishing up the fries and basking them up before dashing to the byers table and setting them down. “Dads working on your burgers.”

“Thanks…..”Jonathan blinks at you, obviously forgetting your name. 

“Y/n. We’ve lived three houses away forever now.”

“Right, sorry.”

Before you can truly get offended by Jonathan's lack of knowledge on you the bell to the diner sounds out and you see a mass of curls pass you quickly to head to your regular table. A smile creeps its way across your lips as you head to the table behind him. 

Eddie Munson sits casually, making it look like he had been waiting forever. “You’re late, princess.”

“I was here before you?”

“Excuse me? I was at the table before you which means I was here first-”

“Well I showed up for my shift 2 hours ago which means I was first-”

“Well technically I-” He leans forward to argue, but you had already leant forward so your foreheads bumped together awkwardly, a blush traveling your skin. He watches you for a moment before leaning back and looking around the diner. 

Ever since Eddie found you in the janitors closet you had been close. Weekly movie nights became a necessity, you helped him study (you read to him and he pretended to listen as he rifled through your belongings), and he showed you the world of music. (He turned up his speaker to the highest volume and you talked yourself out of kissing him)

Every Friday night Eddie came to pick you up from your shift at your dads diner, you would both head to his trailer for a movie night and tonight was your night to choose. 

“It’s busy in here tonight, you sure your dad is okay I steal ya?”

“If you are okay waiting for a bit I’ll go help him with the rush.” 

“I’ll be here princess.” He smiles, moving closer so you can kiss his cheek before dashing off to take orders. 

By the time you return to him he is leaving cash on the table and rubbing ketchup off his cheek. “You know dad won’t like that.”

“What? I didn’t short him!”

“I meant you leaving the money. You don’t pay here.” 

“Yeah I do. Have a good night Y/n's Dad!”

Benny leans through the kitchen window to wave him off with a smile as Eddie throws his arms around your shoulder and leads you out. 

“Your dad seemed quite irritated with you tonight.” He notes, pulling you closer to block you from some of the rain. 

“Yeah, they have been on me about inviting friends to my party.” You admit, shuffling beside him as his rings catch your eye. 

“Party? You’re throwing a party?”

“They want to throw a party for my birthday.”

“You should let them!” He gasps, moving to open the door to his van for you. You hop in with one easy jump, his hand on your hip making sure before he slams the door to make sure it shuts correctly. You try to hold in a laugh at him and his broken car. 

Waiting until he is settled next to you to continue the conversation, trying to untie the waitressing apron as he starts the van up. “Who would I invite?”

“Me.”

“Well obviously. But I don’t know what would be worse, making my parents upset by not throwing a party or having them waste hard earned money on decorations and cake just for you and only you to show up.”

“You could invite the hellfire club.”

“They don’t like me,”

“They love you.”

“They have repeatedly said they hate me at the table.”

“Heard that, did you?”

“Gavin said it TO me.”

“Don’t listen to him, he’s on a high because this freshman kid believed his girlfriend in canada story. What do you want for your birthday?”

“No one believes it, the kid was probably being nice. No one believes Gavin has a girlfriend let alone a Canadian supermodel with long hair and a boob job in high school. And I don’t want anythi-”

“You definitely want something, I saw you begging your dad most the night.”

“Do you spend all your time watching me?” You laugh, counting out your tips from the night as he stops at a red light, turning to you with a smile. 

“I mean, can you blame me?” A deep heat travels through your body as you make eye contact, seeing those melty brown eyes that have you leaning in ever so slowly. 

You have been best friends with Eddie Munson for 3 months now, and at least 2 of those months you’ve had the biggest crush on him. You spent most of your nights waiting for him to call and the rest hanging onto his every word. 

You are stuck in a trance before a car honks behind him and Eddie is forced to keep driving. 

“Seriously, what do you want?”

“Eds….”

“Can…. can you teach me to drive?”

-

It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile

You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back

Just like that

“Jesus christ-”

“Don’t be so dramatic!”

“I just wanted a slurpee! Not to DIE!”

“Eddie I just-”

“Hey hey hey, baby eyes on the road-” Eddie rushes out, reaching an arm past you to even out the car, one hand clenched on your thigh and the other on the wheel. His nickname for you has your heart racing through your chest as you try to even out the car as well. “Just wanted a slurpee.”

You both had made a deal, while you were on summer vacation he would teach you how to drive so long as he got full control over movie nights. It meant a lot of cheesy slasher films for you but more time with Eddie and who could complain about that. 

“You will get one, just stop.” You chide, pulling the car over to the side of the road. “Can you check my bag to see if I have my glasses?” 

“Oh my god you need glasses and you haven’t been wearing them?”

“Just my sunglasses you freak.” He rolls his eyes at you before leaning down to grab your backpack and shuffle around for your glasses. Due to the hot weather Eddie had taken to throwing his hair into a low bun and you absolutely loved it. “Here you go princess.”

“Why thank you.” You smile, snatching them before starting the van once more and zooming into the street. 

By the time you make it to the gas station it’s like a game of routine that you and Eddie know well, he swoops around the car to snatch you, throwing you over his shoulder as he paces to the front door to finally set you down. He rushes to the back to grab your slurpee’s, one blue raspberry and one cherry, while you snatch the candy. 

By the time you both meet back up at the counter you would be set for movie night.

“Eddie, Y/n.” Gareth sighs in greeting, casting you a quick look that says ‘you stole my friend from me’.

“Don’t give me that look.” You roll your eyes, and he tries to fight off a smile. “You were working today anyways.”

Something that had changed since Eddie forced his band to show up to the birthday party your mother had thrown, they seemed to hate you less and often asked you to join their hangouts now. 

“Be nice to my princess.” Eddie warns, slapping your hand away when you move to put your tip money down. 

“You paid for the movies, Eds.” 

“Yeah well- suck it.”

“I’m sure she would.” Gareth laughs, stopping when Eddie shoots him a glare. “Sorry.”

You slap your hand down to pay, snatching the candy as Eddie tries to snatch the money, but Gareth is too quick and you both are shooting each other a mischievous look as you dash from the station with Eddie on your heel. 

“So let me get this straight, I can’t pay for the burgers at the diner-”

“I get an employee meal anyways.”

“And now I can’t pay for our snacks?”

“You paid for the movies!”

“Just…. Damnit princess, just get in the car.”  

You shoot him a smile before hopping in, starting the car up and beginning to drive down the road with Eddie focusing on the music. By the time you get to his place the heat of the day has fully stuck to your skin and you both find yourself sitting on his porch as his uncle sleeps in the living room. 

These were some of your favorite moments with him, when it was too early for movies and too late to go to the lake, so instead you sat hip to hip as you whispered about anything and everything. 

These were the moments you helped him build campaigns and these were the moments he told you about his family before Wayne. 

Today you spent the time talking about what you plan on doing over the next couple weeks, his forehead pressed to your shoulder as he struggles with a brain freeze. 

“You know what I wish?”  He asks, rubbing his temples. 

“What’s that?”

“I wish they had a purple flavor that wasn't grape.” He groans, finally lifting his head from your shoulder and gesturing to the cup. “I freaking love purple.” “Eddie Munson, the great dungeon master, with a purple demon tongue.” You giggle as he rolls his eyes playfully and takes a large sip from his slurpee.  “You know you can make purple.”

“I would never mix blue raspberry with cherry, that would make a disgusting flavor-”

“That’s not the only way.”  Your heart is slamming against your ribcage as you blush, your hands are shaking and you can barely keep a hold of your own slurpee cup.  Before you can debate it you find yourself leaning forward until your lips are on his, smashing together in a clumsy manner. 

He seems to freeze at first, pulling back a little which makes you panic and draw back within yourself. “Oh my god I am so sorry.”

He stares, wide eyed and shocked for a moment before slamming his slurpee to the ground and reaching his hands up to either side of your jaw to pull you in for another kiss. His lips smash against yours in an aggressive manner before it calms down and you both kiss back, it’s still a bit awkward and you try to find the proper placement for yourself before he helps you find the perfect rhythm against his own lips. 

You spend most your time on the porch, lips mashing against his and when you both pull away for air he finds himself kissing around your face. By the time you hear Wayne’s alarm go off you pull back, both your eyes wide and lips swollen. 

“Let me see, princess.” You smile at Eddie’s order, showing your tongue which is now 100% purple. “Fuck. I think I just found my new favorite flavor.”

- 

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around

Eddie’s new favorite flavor didn’t last for long before he decided he had to expand his taste buds a bit, and it wasn’t long after that that he found his all time favorite taste and feeling in the world. You. 

He loved your lips on his, he loved sucking hickies into your neck in the janitor supply closet at school and he absolutely loved tasting your lip balms fresh in the morning when he picked you up for school with a quick kiss. But his favorite out of everything? Was when he was between your legs. 

The loss of your virginity had waited until the end of summer, but you and Eds had found different things to do to each other before then, until the fateful day at the lake when it all went out the window. Now a month into the school year it was safe to say that you were completely open to Eddie sexually speaking, you felt comfortable and beautiful whenever you were with him and he was one of the best teachers for this aspect of your life. 

He also knew everything about your body at this point, made it his job to know like a religious person with a bible. He swore to your body. 

Today was like any other, with you splayed out on his mattress, hands splayed through his hair, gripping and pulling whenever he drew a harsh movement. You were a moaning and sweaty mess as he licked and bit at your clit. His hands clenched at your thighs when you pulled his hair harshly, a moan tearing from him which reverberated through your folds and had you clenching again, over and over in a chain reaction. 

He taps your hip three times, which is his sign that he wants you to look at him so you do, pulling your head off the pillow. He smiles from ear to ear, his chin glistening as he pulls some of the hair from his eyes. “Fuck princess. Why are you always so delicious?”

“Eds…” You sigh, hiding your face within your hands which he tsks at, leaning over you to snatch your hands away and smile while hovering over you. “Why would you ever hide from me?”

“I want you.” You whisper, hips moving up to meet his own, one leg wrapping around his own. 

“And I can give you anything you wan-”

“HEY EDS!” 

“Shit-” He rushes out, snatching the blanket that had fallen from the bed and draping it over you unceremoniously in a panic to get you covered. You know he is only covering you out of a place of love but a part of you wonders if  was actually hiding you as she slips his jeans on and rushes out to meet Gareth and Jeff, shutting the door quickly behind him. 

You move to get dressed, taking one of his band tees and slipping over you before you find your underwear, shuffling to the door and pressing your ear against it. 

“Come on man, we never see you anymore.” Jeff sighs, and you can hear them all shuffling around. 

“I see you at DnD all the time-”

“You are always with her!” Gavin snaps out, and you can practically hear him stomp his foot. “Dude, I get it. She doesn’t have any friends and blah blah blah. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have friends anymore!”

Wait, what?

Had Eddie said something about this before? About you not having friends? 

“We just think that you should spend a little less time with-” Jeff was always so sweet, and even when he was being mean he found a diplomatic way about it. Gavin on the other hand……not so much. “Screw that man! You yourself said she was being clingy since you started dating and I think you’ve become a real bitch-”

“Gavin, come on man-” Gareth sighs.

“Okay. Okay.” Finally, Eddie’s voice rings out and you wait to hear him defend you, to at least defend the clingy statement. But instead you hear “I’ll meet you outside. Okay? Take it easy.”

You hear him shuffle closer to the room, and you lunge for the bed to make it look like you hadn’t been listening, laying back down and smiling at him when he enters. 

Only it wasn’t a true smile, more so one you glued on. 

“Hey, that was the boys. They wanna have a last minute band session.” He smiles, shuffling closer to kiss your lips. “I’ll be back  later, okay?” You can do nothing but nod, watching him get dressed before he sends you one last smile and dashes out. You try not to feel much bitterness on it, but you can’t really stop it when you notice he didn’t even take his guitar. 

With nothing to do you put on pants and shuffle to the living room, sitting on the couch and debating what you should do from here. 

The conversation from earlier circles your mind, the words clingy and the ‘she doesn’t have any friends blah blah blah’.  Eddie must have complained to them about you, that was the only reason they would have said those things. 

How embarrassing, and here you were thinking that they had grown on you. Jesus have they all been laughing behind your back this whole time? 

You sit on the couch for a bit before deciding to walk home. They thought you were clingy? Fine, you would pull back. They thought you had no friends? Easy. You’d make friends. 

- 

“I just don’t like the way you guys spoke earlier.” Eddie argues, hands on his hips as he stares back at his friend group. “I understand the frustration, okay? I forgot our jam session today which was a massive dick move but that was my princess you were talking about.” Eddie has to stop a cringe from the memory earlier. He had promised the boys that he would meet them here, but after school he just wanted to stay with you. But the boys showed up angry because he forgot and they were saying some pretty brutal things, and they were beginning to get loud. 

He hadn’t wanted you to hear them, so he rushed them out. And left you in his bed. 

“Eddie, you don’t get it-”

“I do get it. Okay, I get it. I haven’t had a girlfriend like this before and I haven’t done a good job multitasking. But that is on me, kay? But you guys said some pretty hurtful things about Y/n and-”

“She didn’t even hear me!”

“But she could have Gavin.” Jeff sighs, rubbing his head. “I’m sorry Eddie, the plan was just to confront you about it. We hadn’t planned to attack like that.”

“You can be mad at me, but never talk about Y/n like that. You hear me?”

“Deal.” Gareth nods. 

“Heard.” Jeff smiles. 

“Fine. But you don’t see me ditching this group for my girl-”

“SHE’S NOT REAL!” 

- 

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around

Pulling away from someone was a lot easier said than done. Especially when all you wanted to do was spend time with him.   But you had made a plan, and this you would stand by.  

That night Eddie had called you late, making sure you got home safe and you had told him that your dad was going to start taking you to school. 

“What? Why? Princess I can do it, it’s really no proble-”

“I’m going to start going in a little early for the club I joined. So don’t worry about it, Eds.”

“Club? You joined a club?” His tone was laced with excitement and you realized he was probably so excited to get you away from him, so with tears in your eyes and a tight throat you told him you had to rush to bed and hung up. 

This began a heavy game of avoidance. You walked to school each morning, reading by yourself in the gym before making it look like you were leaving a club when you saw Eddie in the mornings, but you only left enough time to give him a quick kiss before you were dashing off. You avoided him in between periods and began taking the back exit so he didn’t see you leave school.  

You picked up more shifts at the diner, claiming it was the busy season and your dad needed help. No more clingy girlfriend. 

Three weeks of this and you were beginning to wear yourself out, your body hot and barely any energy for the day as you trudged to school a little late. You had overslept past your initial alarm, and by the time you managed to get to school there was only 4 minutes before the first period. 

You were digging through your locker for a pencil, trying your hardest to keep your eyes open as you did so, when you heard a loud sound rapping to your right. 

Looking over to find Eddie with a soft smile, his rings hitting the metal of the lockers beside you.  “Hey princess.”

“Hey Eds,” You mumble back, already trying to think of an escape route. “I should head out, I had class-” “I can walk ya. I actually had something I wanted to ask you.” His smile widens as you finally find a pencil and shut the door to your locker, moving to wrap an arm around you. He pulls you close and you can’t help but press your forehead to his chest, wrapping your own arms around him. He stops for a moment, bringing a hand up to your forehead with a worried expression. “You are burning up.”

“I’m fine.” You smile, getting him to walk again. “What did you want to ask?”

“Oh, right. The band is performing this friday and they wanted to ask you to come. I haven’t really seen you much over the past couple days. And I-” He is cut off by a very large coughing fit on your end, his hands flying around your hips to stabilize you as he watches. “You are burning up, but your clothes are wet. Princess, did you walk here?”

“Oh, yeah. Just this morning though-”

“So you managed to catch a fever within 10 minutes?”

“Eds, I gotta go-” You try to rush out, but he stops you. 

“How about a movie night? Just like old times. I’ll get your favorite movie and-”

“I have a sh-”

“I already ran it by your dad.”

“Oh….. well then okay.”

“I’ll meet you after school? By my van?” He asks, his face reading off nervously. 

“Sounds great.” You smile, and that nervous energy he has seems to lighten up as he leans in for a kiss, kissing once more on your cheek before he drops you off at class. 

-

By the end of the day Eddie is anxiously waiting by his van, sitting in the back with the doors open as his foot taps against the wet pavement below him. He had spent the day after his talk with you thinking of things that you might like. Something that would make you happy tonight. 

It had been weeks of not seeing you and he was desperate to see you. What had happened? Why were you avoiding him?

“Hey eds!” Jeff calls, dashing up to the van with Gareth in tow. “What are you doing tonight?”

“I’m actually waiting on Y/n today guys.” He mumbles out, looking past them just so he could keep an eye out for you. 

“Oh, what did she say about the concert?” Gareth asks, turning to watch the door for you as well. “Seems like I haven’t seen her in a moment.” 

“That makes two of us, and she didn’t really answer about the concert.”

“What’s wrong?” Jeff asks, noting the tone. 

“She’s going to dump me. I just know it.” Eddie blurts, hands flying through his hair. “I just don’t know why.” 

“But Y/n loves you man-”

“What are you guys doing out here? It’s so cold.” Gavin snaps out, emerging in the group with a glare. “Let’s hop in Eddie’s van.”

“Can’t. He’s waiting on Y/n-”

“Ugh. Again?” 

Before Eddie could tell him to fuck off he spots you exit the building, his heart jumping through his chest as he smiles and waves his arm so you can spot him. You do, making a couple steps to him before you see his friends all turn and spot you as well, which makes you stop and look around. 

It hits Eddie then, what is going on. Especially when you turn to walk the other way. Before his friends can say anything Eddie lunges, dashing across the parking lot and reaching you in an instant. 

“Hey princess.”

“Oh, hey Eds.” You cough out, trying a smile out that makes his heart lurch. “Didn’t see you.”

Yes you did. But he doesn’t call you on it. 

“Well my van is over here, so let’s-”

“I don’t think-”

“The boys were just heading off. It will just be us tonight. Swear it.” He smiles, putting up a scouts honor sign and holding out his hand. You take it after a moment and he wastes no time dragging you to the car, helping you in and buckling you up. 

You giggle when he buckles you, an actual giggle that makes his heartbeat speed up and he leans to kiss you before dashing to the driver seat and heading to his trailer. He offers to stop for slurpees only to look over and realize you had actually fallen asleep curled up against the heater. So he skips the slurpees and pulls into the trailer park, heading to the one Wayne made their home. 

Back when Eddie first started hanging out with you he never wanted to admit where he lived, he was embarrassed about this perfect girl seeing the mess he lived in and dashing off. You were the prettiest girl he had ever seen, he was desperate for any of your time. 

And you chose him. 

That was something he could never understand. You met him, the school freak and the trailer trash, and still decided he was worthy of your time. 

But that was beginning to change and he was fucking terrified of it. 

But he didn’t have time to think on that when he pulled in, because the second he turned the van off you seemed to stir from your sleep, blinking slowly up at him as he moved to rub your cheek. “Come on, we are here.”

You hold his hand as he rushes inside, dropping both your bags by the door and helping you kick off your shoes before herding you to his room and helping you undress. He picks up one of the band tees and slips it over your head, kissing you softly. 

“You are absolutely burning up.”

“I don’t feel good, Eds.” You mumble out. 

“Okay, how about we lay down and nap for a bit. We can watch movies later, yeah?”

You merely nod, crawling across his bed as he shuffles into his boxers and follows your movement until you are both under the covers and he can pull you into his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, Princess?”

“Being so…..” You doze off after that, and he finds himself fighting the urge to wake you up and find out. 

Instead he tightens his hold on you, and closes his eyes himself. 

- 

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around

You awake around 1 am by the sight of Eddie’s alarm clock, gasping in pain as you try to catch your breath. You reach out to his side, only to find it empty, tears sliding down your face. 

Your head hurt and your body hurt, you were burning up and your throat was so sore you could sob. 

Eddie must have heard you, coming in slowly with messy hair and sleepy eyes, holding out some medicine and a cup. “Easy now princess. I was just grabbing you medicine.”

“I don’t need it.” You manage to croak out, eyes spilling over with water. 

“Yes, you do.” He places the little medicine cup to your lips and that’s when you realize he had actually poured the medicine in a shot glass. A smile cracks your face as you choke it down, Eddie switching it out with the cup, the bubbles of sprite burning your throat. “That’s my girl.”

“I don’t feel good.” You croak, and he nods. 

“How long have you been walking to school then?” 

“I haven-”

“You have. And you got sick from walking in the rain.” He sighs, making you drink some more of the sprite before setting them both down and moving to make you lay down beside him. “I grabbed some of the extra winter blankets, we’re gonna have to sweat this out. Okay?”

“Are you going to break up with me?” You cry, curling into his chest as he fixes the blankets around you both. 

“What? No. Why on earth would I-”

“Because I am clingy.”

“You’re not clingy, who said you were clingy?” He leans back to glare down at you, accidentally hitting his head on his own nightstand. “Ow, Jesus christ.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. When did I say you were clingy?”

“That day I was here-”

“A little more specific.” 

“We… you…. The day we were in here and your friends came over.”  His face crumples in recognition, closing his eyes. 

“You heard Gavin.”

“I heard Gavin! And you guys were all probably talking about me–” He leans down to kiss you then, pressing his own lips against yours softly. When he pulls back he rubs his nose against yours, up your face and to your forehead where he leaves a soft kiss. 

“I can promise you that I do not think you clingy. And the only reason I didn’t argue back was because I didn’t want them getting louder so you could hear them. I didn’t want you to hear that. I. Swear. It.”

“Your friends don’t like me.” You whisper. 

“Only one friend doesn’t like you. Gareth and Jeff invited you out to the concert.”

“But Gavin-”

“Can call his girlfriend in Canada to cheer him up. I don’t give a shit.” You laugh at that, pressing your nose to his cheek. 

“Can we watch a movie, Eds?”

“I actually got pretty in pink for you.” He whispers, and you can’t help but kiss him. 

- 

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around

You were too busy running around the diner, taking and delivering orders, to see Eddie and his friends sneak in. But when you turn to see who had taken up the table you are met with his smile, watching him snag a menu from Gareth. 

“What brings you boys in tonight?” You laugh moving to sit by him as Jeff fixes his jacket. 

“We came to hang out with you after the gig, you should have seen it Y/n. It was absolutely wild and Eddie nearly fell off the stage.” 

“Is that so?” 

“There was a drunk guy in the back talking to someone imaginary and we told Gavin it was him and then get this- Gavin freaked out-” Gareth launches into a story on their fight with Gavin, you look over to Eddie who isn’t even bothering to listen as his finger traces your cheek bone. 

“You make this outfit?” 

“I did, thought it matched the diner apron a little better.” You blush, showing him the spot on the sleeve where you had messed up only for him to lean in quickly and kiss you. 

“Y/n!” Your dad calls from the window. “Back to work!”

You roll your eyes, moving to stand up before Jeff calls you and you turn. He opens his leather jacket while Gareth widens his flannel, both to reveal the hellfire shirts you made them. 

“We stay repping our designer.” Jeff brags. “But we need three more.”

“For who?”

“These freshmen that Eddie recruited.”

“OH! Dustin and his two friends right?”

“Dustin, Lucas and little Byers……but……” Eddie smiles. 

“You should make one for yourself.” Gareth finishes. 

“Because you have officially been recruited, Y/n.”

You laugh, watching the three before Jeff slams a sheet on the table and you lean forward to read it. “The lost princess of hellfire?”

“Eddie wrote the campaign for you, and we helped create the character.”

You pick up the paper, flipping through them to reveal the sketches Eddie had drawn, a cartoon version of you in a fantasy version of the pretty in pink prom dress. 

“That’s…..”

“Can’t take it easy on you though, princess. Even if I love ya.”

“I love you too.” You smile, leaning down to kiss him back. 

-

(Also just to lace up any confusion regarding the manner of how I named everyone.

These are Gareth and Jeff - CONFIRMED BY THE DUFFER BROTHERS THEMSELVES----

This is Gavin, I named him because he is technically named 'the freak' and I see him as a gavin. Fight me.

thanks- Ultralight)

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanart #eddie munson x you #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fandom #eddie munson fics #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things fan #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanart #stranger things angst #taylor swift #taylor swift imagine #taylor swift fics

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Bedeviled | Chapter 1: A Deal with the Devil

Pairing: demon!jungkook x female reader

Genre: E2L, romance, horror, drama, angst

WC: 4.4k

Warnings for this chapter: strong language, brief mention of alcohol, manipulation, jk is hot but a pos...that's all I think, enjoy!

"And what will you give me?"

The man on his knees trembles, his hands clasped as he tries to contain his tears long enough to speak. 

"Please, please, I- I'll give you anything, just please save-"

"Anything?" 

The man nods frantically, bowing his head, "Whatever you wa-"

"How about your soul?"

"M-my soul?"

A simple nod in reply, nothing else.

No negotiations.

The poor man gulps and nods shakily, "Ok."

A smirk spreads on the demon's face as he crosses his arms, the tattoo of a dead rose being strangled by a serpent on his outer bicep stretching as he does, "Looks like we have a deal."

A piece of the roof dangles tauntingly above them, threatening to fall at any second, the rest of the small shack fairing no better. 

The fallen angel lounging in the torn black leather recliner chuckles, shrugging, "Not my problem you suck at the one thing you're supposed to be good at."

"Shut the fuck up, JK."

Long dark hair falling into his eyes, the amused demon shakes his head. 

He's jerked up though in the next second when the enraged blonde grabs a handful of his shirt and is about to throw a punch. 

Before he can, the dark-haired devil grabs his wrist and twists it enough to where it would break, if that was possible, "I would think twice before doing that, Sav," he whispers calmly.

Sav just glares at him before ripping his hand away, "Just fucking wait."

Standing up, JK stretches his arms above his head, groaning loudly as he twists his back until there's a satisfying crack. 

"I've got work to do," he drops the glass bottle that's been dangling from his hand for the past hour, no more liquor in it anyway. 

He ignores whatever words Sav shouts after him, walking out of the shed as he jerks his head to the side roughly until his neck cracks. 

As he's walking, the faint sound of whispering echoes in his mind, the words he knows all too well repeating over and over again. A smirk spreads on his face as he rolls his eyes. 

-

"Hey, doll."

The girl on her knees fumbling with the matches gasps loudly as she turns, the match box slipping from her fingers. 

"Who are you?" Her voice shakes as she stands up. 

The handsome stranger hops off of the fence he was previously perched on, the seductive smile on his face growing larger the closer he gets to her quivering figure. 

"Don't you know? You’re the one that summoned me.."

She gulps, "Are you a...d-demon?"

He walks even closer, taking her chin between his thumb and pointer finger, "I can be whatever you need me to be. What's your name, darling?"

Unable to look away from his piercing gaze, she answers quietly, "Jia."

"Jia," Her name falling from his lips makes her knees weak as she nods, "And what can I do for you, Jia?"

"I- I was wondering if you could make me beautiful..."

The demon chuckles lightly, "Make you beautiful? Aren't you already?"

She shakes her head, "The boy I'm in love with doesn't seem to think so."

He tuts in disappointment, "Well, we can't have that now, can we?"

Jia shakes her head. 

"Mm, well why don't we just make him fall for you instead? We won't need to change you at all."

"You can do that?" She breathes in disbelief. 

He shakes his head as he chuckles at how naive she is, "I can do whatever I want, sweetheart."

"Wow," Jia looks up at him in awe, her eyes wide. 

The same look they all give.

Nothing new. 

"What's your name?" She asks suddenly, trying not to stare at the tattoos covering his arms. 

Same questions too, how very entertaining. 

Humans are all so small-minded. 

"What's more important is the name of the boy you want."

"Oh," She wrings her hands, "His name is Wooyoung. Can you really make him fall in love with me?"

He nods, "I can. For a price."

"What do you want in return?" 

"How about your soul?"

"My soul?" Jia takes a step back, frightened. 

"Oh come on sweetheart, you didn't think you could make a deal with the devil and keep your soul, did you? I don't take any other offerings. It's this or I'm gone, and I won't be coming back." When she doesn’t answer right away, he turns to leave, an evil grin appearing when she calls out. 

Just like he knew she would.

"Wait!" She sniffles, "...you promise he'll love me?"

They can never resist.

Smothering the smile and turning back, JK takes a step closer, "Until the day he dies," he whispers. 

"Ok, I'll do it," Jia says softly. 

He licks his lips and takes a step back, crossing his arms as he observes her carefully, "So, we have a deal?"

________

"Who are you?"

Different soul, same silly old questions. 

JK sighs as he walks over to the teen boy sobbing at the foot of his mother's bed. 

"I'm the one that's going to give you whatever you ask for."

The boy wipes at his eyes, beyond confused, but he won’t risk not talking to this man if he can help him, "A-anything I ask for?"

"Anything."

"Can you...can you make my mother well again?"

The tall stranger with long dark hair and a trusting smile, nods. 

"Yes, I can. If that's really what you want."

"It is," the teen wipes his eyes again as he walks over to the mysterious man, "Please make her better."

"I can only do it if you give me something in return."

"I don't have any money or anything expensive to trade..." He says sadly. 

The demon chuckles, "I have no use for such things."

"What do you want?"

A smirk spreads on his face as he looks at the broken human. 

They're all so ridiculous, aren't they? Willing to throw anything around to get what they so desperately want. 

"I know of something you can give me."

__________________

Money. 

Fame. 

Power. 

Love. 

Health. 

Courage. 

Strength.

Material goods.

Humans will trade their souls for anything, unaware of how their selfish desires will fade away as they do; growing feeble and pathetic, until there's nothing left but the ghost of their youth, cowering in a corner until old age disposes of it. 

And what do they leave behind?

Nothing. 

Nothing that those weak humans ask for will ever change what lies ahead. 

They all die. 

And no one will ever remember them. 

JK sighs as he walks through the blackened trees, tilting his head side to side to stretch his neck, rubbing it as he groans. 

Sav isn't going to be happy when he finds out that some of his humans already made a deal with a devil that isn't him.

He smirks and starts to rub the knot in his shoulder. 

The sudden sound of a twig snapping catches his attention. He turns, expecting to see Sav coming up on him, anger in tow. 

So it takes him by surprise when he sees no one. 

He stares at the closest black tree. A moment passes as he just looks at the thick trunk, unamused. 

"I can hear you breathing," he eventually says, arms crossing over his chest. 

There's another snap of a twig and he rolls his eyes. 

Finally, the stalker steps out from behind the burnt bark. 

JK's eyes widen in shock when he sees the wide-eyed girl looking in his direction. 

How in the fucking hell did a human get here?

"Sorry, I uh- I didn't mean to startle you." She can't even see him, nothing but a dark silhouette standing among the trees.

He just continues to stare at her, noticing the way she blinks to try and focus and see him in the dark, "Who said you startled me?"

She frowns at the deep voice, thinking for a moment, then she shrugs, "I guess I just assumed I did."

JK takes a step towards her, "And what, pray tell, is a human doing this close to the entrance of the Underworld?"

When he moves closer, a sliver of red light that's coming through the trees illuminates his previously dark figure. 

The second he steps into the blood red light, she freezes, eyes wide as she comes face to face with a demon. His dark hair is on the longer side and frames his face, his obsidian eyes appearing to glint slightly. A dark chuckle rumbles through his chest as he takes in her state; clearly frozen in terror, eyes the size of saucers. 

Silly, stupid little human. 

"What's the matter, doll? Devil got your tongue?"

You can't bring yourself to answer, it feels like a rock was lodged into your throat as you stare at him. 

"I-"

He chuckles again, arms crossing over his chest. 

The action draws your eyes to his bulging biceps. 

You can't help but notice his tattoos, both his arms are covered in them; skulls, thorns, flames, barbed wire and plenty more unpleasant things you force yourself to look away from. 

But one in particular catches your eye. 

On his right outer bicep, there's a red rose, but it's dead and being strangled by a serpent that has something dripping from its fangs. 

All of the tattoos are in black and gray, apart from the rose. The purpley red color makes the tattoo pop considerably against the others. 

You gulp and drag your eyes back to the demon's face to see it smirking. 

"What's your name, little human?"

You suddenly snap out of it and take a step back. 

You're not an idiot, only an idiot that wants their soul taken will give a demon their name. Not happening. 

When you don't answer, his eyes narrow and he takes a step closer, "I asked you a question."

Forcing your feet to stay planted, you jut your chin out in an act of defiance, but it only makes him chuckle again. 

As if you could resist him. 

You could never resist him. 

Humans, the weakest link of them all.

JK licks his teeth as he looks you up and down. 

He's amused to see you in a simple long white dress that goes to your ankles, and a floppy oversized brown cardigan. Black flats cover your feet, bits of mud smeared on them. 

Not exactly the attire one would typically wear for a trip to the Underworld. 

So, you're not very bright and you look pretty innocent. 

Excellent. 

"You stop right there," You hold your hand up when he takes a step closer. 

He only stops for a second out of pure shock at your bold words, then he walks closer and closer until you're backed into the burnt tree. 

"Ouch!" You lurch forward when the bark sears the palms of your hands that made contact with it. Thankfully you pulled your hands away before the tree did too much damage, only leaving two small red marks. 

"You can certainly talk," he muses, eyes dragging up and down your body. 

You cross your arms over yourself, feeling exposed even though you're practically covered head to toe. 

"Let's try it again, shall we?" He leans closer, "What's your name?"

You just stare back at him, not allowing yourself to give in to the urge to drop your gaze. 

"I'm not entitled to give you that information-"

He scoffs, "Looks like the little human did her research. Then you'll know I could still torture it out of you," The look in his eyes tells you he would gladly do so.

"I'm not clueless," You say praying your voice doesn't tremble, "I know what I'm doing. And I know you wouldn't dare touch me."

"Is that so? Enlighten me."

"You're a demon," You say. 

"No fucking kidding-"

"And that means you can't resist a deal."

JK looks you over once more, becoming intrigued. 

"Go on."

"Technically you can hurt me if you want, since I willingly came to the entrance of the Underworld, that rids me of protection."

His brow quirks as he listens to you ramble. 

You most certainly did your homework. 

"But the one thing you can't do, is take my soul."

He sucks his teeth, wanting you to just get to the point already. 

"You can't take my soul without my permission, and I won't give it to you, unless you help me."

Ah, there it is. 

"Alright, what do you want?" His hip tilts as he looks at you, bored. 

"I want to be immortal."

He sighs, of course that's what you want. 

All humans are the same. 

"Easy."

You shake your head, "I don't want you to snap your fingers and tell me I'm immortal-"

"Well what the fucking hell do you want then? Stop wasting my time-"

"I want you to take me to the Flame of Immortality."

That shuts him up. 

The demon just stares at you in silence for a full two minutes, until you're squirming with anxiety. 

"The Flame of Immortality?" He finally speaks, glare piercing your very soul. 

He's unsure how you uncovered the existence of the Flame, which raises his suspicions even more.

You nod, using all your strength not to bolt. You hadn't expected to come face to face with one of them so quickly, especially since you didn't technically cross into the Underworld yet. Yes, you made sure you knew everything you needed to before coming here, but it's still a shock to be faced with this demon in the flesh. 

No amount of time and studying could have prepared you for it. 

JK takes another moment to look you over. 

Definitely innocent. 

More innocent than he's seen in a while, which is a shocker. Not many humans are able to keep their soul so untainted no matter the efforts they go through. Especially these days.

You're all just stupid humans after all, far from perfection. 

"How did you know it exists?"

You gulp, "Desperation will lead you to many secrets."

"Ah, and where does this desperation come from? Why would you want to live on earth with the pathetic human race for all of eternity? Want to continue to watch them fuck everything up on their own?"

You don't answer, just keep your mouth zipped shut.

After a while, JK sighs, "If I take you to the Flame, what are you going to give me in return?"

This time it's your turn to scoff, "If I did enough research to know the Flame exists, why wouldn't I know that the only thing you'll accept is my soul?"

He grins and you curse yourself for feeling a slight stutter in your heart. 

What in the Heavens is wrong with you?!

He's a demon! A wretch! 

You just hadn't expected him to look like…this. 

You knew that demons would initially be attractive, yes, they have to be. If they weren't, humans wouldn't fall prey to their sinful actions. 

Sin is attractive, until you see its true form. 

That thought snaps you back so fast you almost get whiplash, taking a step back from him before he can try any funny business. 

"So, we have a deal? The Flame of immortality for your precious little soul."

You shake your head, "I'll eventually give you my word that you can have my soul but not until your side is fulfilled. I'm not a fool, blindly trusting a demon is not the plan. You may not have my soul or my name. Not until I get what I want."

His eyes narrow at your stoic expression, determined to keep that pure soul of yours until you get what you came for. 

Maybe you aren't so stupid after all. 

Makes sense, carrying around a soul like yours, you can't just trust anyone. 

That's exactly why he needs it. 

"Fine, I'll take you there. Any human's word is no better than that of a thief's, but I suppose neither is a demon's. You'll get your Flame, but I assure you that if you try and leave before giving me your soul, you'll regret it. You might think that you outsmarted me and believe living forever will help you, seeing as you won't die and be dragged to the Underworld to live with me," His sinister grin spreads, "But that isn't the case, human."

You swallow thickly, "How does it work, then?"

He shrugs, clearly not willing to spill his little secret, "That's for me to know and for you to find out. Besides, since you did all that digging around and you're oh so knowledgeable, then you know you've already crossed the mortal world's line, and you can't get out of here without my help. So, what choice do you really have?"

"Do you promise to get me there and back?"

A brow arches before he laughs loudly, "Demons don't make promises, sweetheart, only deals."

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you think through everything one more time. 

Looking up at the dark red sky through the trees, you take a deep breath. You're not leaving this place until you get what you've been searching for, what you can only get here.

JK watches as you pinch your eyes shut and mumble something to yourself, then you stick your hand out, eyes still closed. 

He chuckles darkly and takes your hand, giving it a firm shake. 

He's not going to let this one get away from him.

"Deal."

When he lets go of your hand, you can finally breathe again, but your stomach turns horribly. 

You're not getting out of this wretched place, not without his help. 

Not sure if God can hear you from here, but you hope he forgives you for making a deal with the devil. 

JK's smirk only grows as he lets go of your hand. 

After a moment, you shift on your feet. 

"So...which way do we go to get to the entrance?"

This seems so ridiculous, as though you're walking the streets of New York City and asking a stranger where the nearest restaurant is. 

The demon standing in front of you turns and starts walking, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "The Flame is at the center of the Underworld."

"The center? How far is that?" You hurry to catch up with him, struggling because of his long stride. 

He scoffs, "Thought you did your research."  

You gulp, already losing your breath because of how quick he's walking and the thick smokey air here. 

"I did, but there isn't exactly a map of the Underworld in history books," You snap back.

JK stops and turns, almost making you slam into him when he gets up in your personal space, forcing you to take a step back.

"Yeah, neither is anything about the Flame of Immortality, smartass."

Your nose scrunches in displeasure at his offensive words. 

"So, how did you find out about it?"

You move around him and start walking, "Telling you everything about me wasn't part of the deal."

He takes a deep breath before turning to look at you walking, hands clenched in fists at your sides. 

He needs to stay calm. 

The last thing that can happen is you running off on your own and being discovered by another demon. They'd snatch you up quick and he'd never get another chance to get your soul. 

Focus. 

She's stupid just like the rest of them, she'll slip up eventually, they all do. 

Just need to wait it out. 

"Wrong way, mortal," He calls out, satisfaction seeping in when you stop awkwardly and look around, trying to see in the dark forest. 

You hear his footfalls coming closer behind you and can't help the chills that go down your spine. Mission or no mission, deal or no deal, he's still a demon. You won't be safe until you're out of this place. 

As he walks past, his shoulder bumps into you, knocking you roughly. 

You purse your lips and say nothing, repeating to yourself the reason why you're here and why you can't mess this up. 

You can do this, ____. 

Freezing for a second, you eye his back suspiciously. You only continue walking when he doesn't react. 

I knew they couldn't read minds, that was just a myth. 

If they could, you'd be doomed. 

You grab your skirt and hike it up to about mid-shin so you can hurry after him without it tripping you. The uneven, rocky ground is doing a good enough job of that already. 

"Hurry up."

You purse your lips and breathe out through your nose slowly, tripping on another rock as you try to catch up. 

"Hurry up," You mock quietly, focused on your footing. 

"I heard that."

Looking up again, you see him even further ahead than before. 

"How did he hear that?" You mutter, shaking your head. 

JK glances back just in time to see you trip on a log and faceplant right into the forest floor. 

"Ow," You groan, trying to push yourself up, spitting the dirt out of your mouth, "Ew, why is it so salty??"

"Might not wanna get any more of that in your mouth."

Your eyes widen and you start spitting and dusting off your mouth as best as you can, panic setting in, "Why? Why, what's wrong with it?!"

The demon just stands there and watches you start frantically trying to get the dirt off of you. 

"Why do you keep asking stupid questions?"

You glare at him before standing up, "There's no such thing as stupid questions."

"Wow, so wise. Only an idiot would say that."

You huff and look down at your dress, knocking off the rest of the dirt until there's only a few smears left that aren't very prominent. 

Your cardigan seems to have escaped unscathed. Pulling it around you more, you walk over to him just in time as he starts walking again. 

-

It feels like you've been walking for hours and you're starting to sweat. 

It's getting so hot. 

"How long is this forest? When will we get to the gate?"

He doesn't answer you, just keeps walking. 

"Why-" You pick up your skirt again and run until you come up to his side and try to keep his pace, "Why is it so hot?"

"Maybe because you're wearing a sweater on your little journey to the Underworld," he says sarcastically, earning another huff from you. 

"Is it always so hot this far from the entrance?" You ask as if he didn't just treat you like an idiot moments before. 

JK rolls his eyes, "Are you always this stupid?"

"Are you always this nasty?" You snap back, then you realize what you said and your cheeks redden. 

Of course he's always this nasty, he's a demon. 

Don't be foolish, ____. You've already got enough cut out for yourself. 

When he doesn't respond and continues to stare ahead like he's bored and doesn't even care that you're speaking, you decide not to continue the conversation. 

More time passes as the two of you walk quickly and silently, then you finally stop and hold up a hand, breathing deeply, "Hold on now, wait a second."

He stops, letting out a loud sigh, surely trying to make sure you know how irritating you are. 

You're well aware. 

"What is it now?" He snaps. 

"I need to catch my breath."

He sighs again. 

Fucking humans, so damn weak. 

"Hoooo," You're bent over with your hands on your knees, taking in shaky breaths. You hadn't planned on speed walking through the forest. You hadn't planned on meeting a demon so quickly either though, so clearly the whole plan is messed up already. 

You look up to see the demon standing there, hip cocked, and arms crossed. 

"I wouldn't take so long if I were you."

"What? Why?" You try to hide the panting in your voice.

"Didn't you read about the forest?" He asks in mock surprise. 

Then it hits you. 

Oh.

Wait. 

You stand up straight and look around, focusing on the sounds around you. 

Or lack thereof.

No birds or squirrels can be heard or seen, which is to be expected. The silence of the forest is almost deafening. 

Why would animals want to be anywhere near the entrance to the Underworld?

Unless they’re...

A howl pierces the air and your throat clenches up painfully, your wide eyes looking over to your delighted escort. 

"Guess the hellhounds already caught your scent, little human."

You hurry over to his side, "They w-won't hurt me if they know I'm with you, right?"

When he doesn't answer, you step behind him, "Right?"

"They'll do whatever they want," he says calmly before turning and continuing his leisurely stroll. 

"We need to hurry up then," You say as you catch up to him, "If they get me first, you won't get your end of the deal either."

"I'm aware."

"So you'll make sure they don't hurt me?"

"Not a bodyguard, simply a guide," he mumbles, eyes trained forward and a smirk playing on his lips.

The hellhounds aren't what you need to be worried about, ignorant human.

You gulp and glance behind you at the sound of another howl, the sound making your skin erupt in goosebumps.

-

"How close are we?" You ask, trying to mask the anxiety in your voice. 

It's starting to really get hot, sickeningly so. 

Gulping and pulling your sweater around you more, you glance up at him. 

"We're almost there."

You thought you'd be relieved to hear those words, but instead, your stomach turns. 

A few minutes later, you see an opening in the trees, a massive stone archway just outside of the dense forest. 

"Why aren't the hounds inside? Why are they out here?"

He ignores your question, which you've already grown used to. 

Another few minutes pass, the stone structure getting larger the closer you get to it. 

"Here it is," JK says, stopping a few feet away and turning to look at you. 

The look of terror on your face makes him chuckle as he looks back at the stone archway.

"Having second thoughts, sweetheart?"

His honey voice melts your fears away as you turn to look at him. A false sense of security envelops you as you look at his kind smile; mentally pulling you in. 

With a sudden jolt, you snap out of the trance he put you in, taking a step away from him and crossing your arms over yourself as he grins at how easy it is to deceive you. 

"No," You say firmly, "I'm not. I'm just hot and tired is all."

Looking back at the cracked stone, your eyes drag up to the top of the arch to see words in jagged ancient writing, carved into the rock. 

Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate

"Gather your strength little human," The demon whispers seductively in your ear, his cold breath sending chills through you, "You're gonna need it."

a/n: I hope you guys like this new fic! hold on to ya butts, this is going to be a wild ride.

Tag list; @kookxin @butterymin

#jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook demon au #jungkook smut #bts fluff #bts #bts reactions #bts angst #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts demon au #demon!jk #demon!jungkook #bts smut

[your-turn-to-role]

is there a canon reason why percy and vex broke up? did tal or laura ever say why exactly?

not to my knowledge? they mentioned a lot about the secret wedding, but the break up was mentioned offhand in the campaign wrap-up talks machina, when they were asked if there was anything anyone did during the year off that never came up in the campaign

i will say though that in quite a few talks machinas tal and laura talk about perc'ahlia like a celebrity relationship (or specifically say "yeah we're one of those couples"), and that's a thing you tend to see fairly often with celebrities that end up in tabloids - they have a complicated life, they break up and get back together quite a bit, so i think part of it is tal and laura having fun playing that drama and letting them be those disaster celebrities

if you want my speculation on an in-canon reason though? i think the commitment freaked them out

like vex has always had issues surrounding stability, she's not had it in her life since she was a little kid, and she's just made excuses to herself her whole life that she's fine because she doesn't want stability - she just wants her brother and to keep moving and to never have to worry about putting down roots or forming emotional attachments because it hurts less that way. it's why she gets so jealous and snippy when vax starts showing interest in keyleth, and why she keeps shutting down his attempts to tell her he's moving to zephrah - she can't keep being flighty and only attached to her brother if he wants to settle down with someone else

as much as she loves percy, and they're good for each other, we know from the grey hunt trial that the idea of settling down with him scares her, because it's new, and because it means for the first time in a long time she has something to lose

percy is almost the opposite, he lost his entire family once already and he doesn't ever want to do that again. it's why he gets so vicious when scanlan leaves, because vox machina is his new family, and no one's allowed to tear that apart again (also why we get the really tentative "i know we don't always agree and i know i can be unkind, but... you know you're family, right?" to grog immediately after)

but a relationship is a whole new step, he trusts vex about as much as he does anyone, but this isn't just trusting her with his anger issues, or trusting her with his city, this is trusting her with the future, with his future, with always being around. i don't think he's confident enough to believe she loves him that much, that anyone could, and if he lets himself take that step fully, he has so much more to lose if something happens like it did last time

so it's all well and good when the relationship is new, when they're still trying things out, when it's flirty and it doesn't have to be serious if they don't want it to

even in moments where it's emotionally heavy, like percy's resurrection, it's still new and in the moment, they're not looking past what's immediately in front of them

(and even after that heavy moment, vex got nervous percy didn't like her back and decided to push it all to the back of her brain and not think about it - vax straight up told her to go chase him bc she deserved to be happy and she instead got drunk and changed the subject)

but then the fighting's over. they're not worried about their lives every day. no one died, they're both still here. and it starts to sink in with them that this isn't going anywhere. that this can be their forever, if they choose it. and that scares both of them, and when they get scared they tend to either wall themselves off or lash out, and both would cause a schism in their relationship. and then one day it turns into an argument and in the heightened emotion one of them says they should break up and the other agrees

and now they're emotionally safe, because if they cause the relationship to end on their terms it can't be pulled away from them unexpectedly

but they're not actually happy

and maybe they come to that realisation on their own, more likely they talk about it with their friends and vax and keyleth tell them they're being idiots

and then the question is what to do about it

it's possible they went slowly back into it

or, since we know their first marriage proposals were a dare, maybe they weren't even together again yet

i could see that being exactly the sort of thing they'd do if they wanted to get back together but they didn't want to be the first one to admit that they wanted to

skip the dating phase we already did that i dare you to marry me

and maybe they talk about it much later, maybe they don't

but i think by the time they got to the marriage, they'd realised they wanted this to be more than a casual thing, and it's still probably scary, but there's no one else they'd trust to get them through that fear and come out the other side

#cr1 #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #ask #meta #cr thoughts

[harlowtales]

Reader finds out she is pregnant and doesn’t want to stay hidden in Jack’s life. She gives him an ultimatum.

18+ Drama and Adult Themes/Sweet🤱🏽🤰🏽👶🏼

The news that you were pregnant had Jack over the moon, but he could tell it wasn’t what you wanted at this time “Its not the greatest timing but we’ll make it work.” He said as you were having a tense conversation about keeping it or not. You were holding the test wondering what to do.

“Look I’m not ready” you said. “It’s still early in the game. Why don’t we just take care of this quietly, and we can move on” you were always better at being pragmatic than he was.

“What the fuck are you telling me? What does take care of it quietly mean?” He felt anger starting to bubble up and wanted to remember the state you were in. He couldn’t imagine his mother finding out she almost had a grandchild. Plus he loved you. “Early in the game? This is not a game” he said pulling you close and rubbing your belly. “This is my daughter” he said lovingly.

“Whoah. How do know that?” You said pulling away a bit. “I’m not sure this is what I want Jack.” You saw Jack’s face change. You knew he was so confused and you were concerned he would blame you for derailing his career. White Men Can’t Jump was such a big hit that now he was getting offers left and right. Plus you had your own business going. A child was not in your plans. But it was Jack’s baby making this extra hard because you loved him so much.

“You would be a great mom” he said trying to reason with you. “You’re smart, we make enough money…”

“We don’t even live together Jack. We tried that remember? You said bitterly

“That’s because it became a frat house and the guys don’t even spend much time there anymore. With a baby around they would respect that.” He said “If we do this you have to move back in.” He insisted “Look at me please?” He tilted your chin up with his hand and looked into your eyes. You started tearing up. “What is it?” He pleaded “What can I do to change your mind?”

“Stop flirting for starters and we go public” You said decisively. You looked at him bracing for his protest as it was a constant issue. The way Jack acted everyone on the internet thought he was single and he never talked about you to the press. He sat there for a bit. What you were proposing was a total commitment. You had to play hardball. Jack had a history of being evasive. You didn’t want to hold a gun to his head, but you weren’t going to stay hidden as the mother of his child.

“Hardball huh?.” He said. “ It’s fair, but that means you cut all ties with old boy. No running to him if we hit a rough patch.” Jack countered. You sat there contemplating what to say. Guys never get completely rid of their options. If Jack thought you were falling for that he had another thing coming.

“Ok, lose the problem 3’s numbers. Unfollow them. Even you know who.” You shot back. He knew who the problem 3 were. If you were left without a safety net, he had to do the same. You weren’t worried about randoms, but these 3 girls had staying power causing problems in the past. You and one of them had come to a brief understanding but the other two were huge bitches always trying shit.

“Ok. Deal.” He said much easier than you thought.

“Ok?” You said surprised. “That was too easy” you thought suspiciously.

“To have my family together? My own family? Fuck them.” He said decidedly “They’re nothing but a headache anyway.”

You had prepared for more of a fight and didn’t know what to say. Jack saw how thrown off you were. And smirked a little feeling a sense of victory. “So….” He said pulling you back and unfolding your arms. You melted as you always did when he said sorry or saw something your way. “Soooo?” He asked planting a kiss on you. “Are you making me a father or not?”

You hesitated to answer. Your concerns were real, but you could tell he really wanted this. Jack was a family man and a determined man. He he was close to his family. You weren’t with yours. His family became yours. They took you in and always made you feel welcome. Lately you had even had some heart to hearts with his mom. She said she knew how Jack could get and said she would talk to him and set him straight. It really helped and Jack had been making more of an effort ever since. “My mom told me to get my shit together.” He said “I get it now and I want to be there for you… and our daughter.” He promised.

This had you in full in tears. He held you close now until you stopped sobbing. “I know you’re scared. You didn’t have a family, but I am not going to abandon you or our child. My mom would kill me!” He joked trying to lighten the mood as he always did. Jack couldn’t stand tension. He wiped the tears streaming down your face. “Are you wearing the makeup from your brand baby?” He asked

Jack was random but this was really random. “Uummm yeah” you said through your sniffles “Why?”

“Because none of your mascara is running with you crying! I can endorse this product. Unfortunately I have put it to the test.” He said giggling.

His blue eyes twinkled and dimples flashed beneath his beard that was a perfect combination of being scruffy yet manicured. He had you in the palm of his hand and you hated it. It was then you knew that you wanted with all your soul to see his baby with those eyes and that dimple that you would share. This was a whole life with him. “Jack” you finally said having calmed down.

“Yes baby?” He said

“Ok.” You said

“Ok!?” He said excitedly

“Yeah.” You said “Ok, let’s do this!”

“Holy fuck! I’m a dad?” He said looking at you with all the hope he ever had

“Yes. You’re a dad.” You said smiling rubbing your tummy with the pregnancy test still in your hands.

“Fuck yeah!!!!” He exclaimed loudly flinging you around “Oh shit sorry baby.” He said carefully putting you down. “I’m calling my mom, and Urban, and Clay.”

🏷️ Tag List

@itsyagirljaz @jacks-daycare @killatravtramp @ride4harlow @jackmans-poison @heavyhitterheaux

#jack harlow #fanfic #jackman thomas harlow #romance #jack harlow fanfic #dramatic #pregnant #jealousy