#no more talking abt this though ok

[lemongogo]

me admitting that i dont hate ast*rion after all .

#like him.even . maybe. #i just drew him and i was like teehee~kicks feet and giggles and thenni remembered who this was and #my face morphed in2 thousand yard stare guy #IM SRYYY IM SRRYYYYY #IM FALLIBLE !! #wat do u want from me. if its good taste in characters wwll. u r in tha wrong place . #though i do think its bc like . like tell me why he has 90x the content of anyone else #if i hear wyll say well met one more time im gna blow up our camp.IM SOOOz give me something anything pelase please #like he’ll have nothing for 30 long rests save for a line here or there #but astarion will just want to chat u up every night like can u equal it out please pls ❤️ karlach even . #anyways . i hate gale tho HATE GALE . GALE HATERRR ☝️☝️☝️☝️ #idk if its because i found him last or what but atp i dont care to get to know him #this game is legit saur fun . the exploration especially #like i spend 90% of my time opening every vase and crate and reanimating the dead on every1.talking to all the animalz #speak w the dead* i mean #also just rhe potential 4 the funniest mistakes ever #when auntie ethel disguised herself as mayrina in fromt of my eyes i didnt process it and killed her indtead of ethel HAHAAGAHAHAHAHHA #like the sjock of messing smth up so badly but u cant do shit abt it like ok!i guess ! #karlach pushing 1hp shadowheart in2 firepitcon accident and killing her . happy family❤️🫶 #bg3

[werepuppe]

guys it's 2023 happy 2023 ❗❗❗❗❗❗❗💥💥💥🙌🙌🙌 2023 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ok real talk im gonna ramble here a bit #bc the past year has been so fucking wild bc that was the year where i met new folks n got the courage #to leave a shitty fucking relationship i could not get myself to cut off for so long. for GOOD #i have gotten myself n my sense of self after. though myself had come back different bc i had changed so much #my interests now compared to from the start of that year changed so much #im just glad i finally was able to meet more new folks n end up being in a whole friend group like i've always wanted to for so long #bc otherwise i wouldn't have been holding up as super well after that final scare of the year from said shitty situation #i would've still been left wishing i was genuinely cared abt & wanting to feel close to what being human to people would be like #wolfe.txt

[unproduciblesmackdown]

truly something that, amidst facing / going through a dramatic Life Change ft. unavoidable emotional effects of that, there are instances where i can't conceal any & all degrees of being distressed / upset, & repeatedly getting "it's hard for me too" as a Direct Response to that: really something & a half how the asserted theoretical Sympathy of [i feel similarly!] is invoked so as to, oh you know, preclude sympathetic Treatment. such as that what would be More sympathetic in these instances would be to say Nothing, "if there's nothing but dismissal / making it first & foremost about someone else's feelings to say, don't say it at all" style

#reading also that original Lovelessness essay ''love is meant to make me human / love is also the mechanism by which my humanity #has been denied'' always preferring to have [sorry! couldn't fully bottle up this Emotiona externally manifesting at all!] Ignored rather #than ''nicely'' interacted with so as to Invalidate; Dismiss; someone's annoyed at you for having it; etc #for bonus context like we are not in the same boat with it. #not a case of ''the same situation; mine is worse though'' like no; fundamentally different situations here lmao. mine is worse #If You Feel So Bad. Or At All. then at least now do me the favor of Not Saying That; Repeatedly #their feelings put on me too in other ways. stewing resentment into lashing out; tossing out ''but i'm justified'' like ok! Your business!! #the ol like. If You're Going To Do Something Anyways then how you justify it to yourself is Your business / b/w you & your god as they say #& the last thing to do is be making it the problem of ppl Most Affected by what you're gonna do anyways & Also ask their Absolution..... #like if you need more moral support abt What You're Doing Anyways: turn to Anyone Else. even No One if you have to. #bit going tf through it when it's spilling over into Posting but such is life!! we all have that [the horrors. girl help] blogger on dash #again the tl;dr like oh you don't say. the [umm but have you considered? My Feelings! (they're so sympathetic at all. yor welcome)] is #the mechanism through which Really basic sympathy is being denied & replaced with [Saying Nothing would've been less hurtful] #misgendering me the other night too while Also all 'hey I'm trying to talk to the customer service. why are You going up & talking first' #(that was me experiencing the latter. i didn't say it but i was like cmon. my glasses are fogging up w/surgical mask (don't have access to #more effective masks so doing what Nonzero i can there) i'm a bit carsick i'm weathering a crisis. can i have anything here lol) #just Oh You Know. The Horrors.... #balancing ofc trying to endure trying to self soothe etc etc. with ''it's the horrors. it's gonna be horrific & you're gonna be affected'' #ah the [being kind to oneself] like also means knowing how reasonable it is to Not solo contain & endure & Cope Through everything.... #crushing a paper cup in my hands genuinely i would like to generously thank my virtual allies out here today. mic feedback #irl In Real Life? life is Real asf here & nobody Realer than them

[dnangelic]

post hiatus hiwatari is so shaped man

#*･ﾟ⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT. #there are certain early illustrations where he looks soooo young and like round-faced #fr a middleschooler that looks way way way too forced into maturity for his age #but then post hiatus he's sooo. SOFT LOOKING? ? idk how to describe it #he got more gangly which suits him rhabjflkjs oh poor anime jesus #ok ill stop talking abt him #🤧im a dai blog 🏃‍♂️ill do anything for him though #HIWATARI-KUN.....!!!!

[fastasyoucan1999]

at the end of every day it’s like… well i could have been a little kinder. and then tomorrow i try to be a little kinder and by the end of the day it’s like. well i could have been a little kinder and it goes on and on forever

#anyway have been CROCHETING!!! liv and i the grandma mutuals … it is not at all surprising what a hobby can do to u. phone time down fifty #precent.. new music listened to. a collection of things i made with my hands!<3 how is everyone today.. i have only one class and then a #designated hang out with my friend where she brews me coffee and we watch lecture vids together and then spend sixty minutes cheating on a #quiz that wouldn’t be all that difficult if we just read the assigned readings but. why would we do that #also been thinking abt getting a king novel…. want cujo so bad but all the covers are nasty. why are all his cover nasty was talking to #katelyn abt this. the stand mass paperback cover makes me infuriated ok what was i saying i want cujo but i might just get a short story #collection!! though i’ve promised to read at least one more book off my shelf before i get any new ones :/ sorry i’m done!! personal boring #diary in the tags!! questions still stands though how is everyone!!

[gregoftom]

gross

#tomgreg #THEYR E SO CUTE IM GONNA actually be sick. #i hate so much tom's fuckin. laugh here bc its so high pitched and heS NOT HOLDING BACK. AGAIN. #something something he's his true self around greg something something after years of repression he feels alive again something something #schoolboy tom makes another appearance. he's so playful!!! #AND TOUCHING GREG'S SUIT AGAIN. just like the tie before in fucking UHHH i cant remember the episode. but s2 i think. #he does it really quickly though. like he remembers they're in public and he's gotta stop treating greg like they really are spouses. #and abt the next part don't worry i'm gonna be. talking. about That. but this part gets its own bit bc!!!!!! man #OH AND DONT THINK I DIDNT NOTICE GREG TOUCHING TOM TOO. TOUCHING HIS ARM UNNECESSARILY. they're so touchy here. sigh. sigh. #yet not a hug. just light touches. a hug would be too friendly. if that makes sense? these touches are more. spousal. #like you'd hug your mate at a party right. and sure you might hug a partner or spouse. but idkkk idk it reads more. #just the touchings of the suits. oh you look nice tonight dear. don't wanna spoil your pretty outfit. that'll happen later at home. GODDDDDD #BECAAAAAUSE OF WHAT THEY SAY NEXT!!! THE WHOLE. PROVE IT THING! OH HH GODDHNWEW #my head cracks open. ok okok ig ot ta go i'm going i'm fucking. bye #im so fuckin pressed about the nero sporus thing IF TOM HADNT SAID THAT BULLSHIT I WOULDNT BE THINKING SHIT LIKE THIS #i mean maybe i would BUT I WOULDNT ACTUALLY PUT ANY STOCK IN IT BC HE WOULDNT HAVE SAID IT OUT RIGHT. god. i'm in pain #lord send the plagues. end my suffering

[layalu]

Hate how i got into the habit of (objectively!) criticising/pointing out flaws with my work to compensate being overpraised as The Gifted Kid TM & how it makes me sound like i'm being self deprecating

#its such a hard habit to get rid of #tbf its true im not the best at taking compliments but mostly im just. allergic to praise i dont deserve and/or that singles me out #and it comes up every now and then w irl ppl how i am supposedly constantly talking myself down #even though among my artist friends i am doing that the least amount! #like. guys. there is a difference between not giving myself credit and acknowledging flaws #bc belive it or not i can do that without feeling shit about myself! #and half the time im not even talking abt myself im talking abt others? #cus i hate when people talk themselves down and i will often chime in to say what i think theyre good at #and bc *they* start comparing themselves to me i will then counter with what they are better at than me #or that yeah maybe xy about mine is better but ive also got a lot more practice #and idk i genuinely dont belive that is being self deprecating??? #if anything you acting like im a prodigy or sth is devaluing the time and effort i put in to hone a skill #which btw being able to feel ok about my skillset including the goods and bads is also a skill i had to learn! #idk. #lay rambles #sorry for the rant this is just sth i get frustrated about way too often #this doesnt just apply to art but thats where it comes up the most #actually im not done sorry #this specifically was in the context that we got a project graded and the teacher graded us by comparing projects #(which is questionable in itself but i digress) #& then when it came to me i argued that the person he compared me to deserved a better grade and then listed a bunch of reasons #bc she visibly put in more effort and had included things i hadnt and i thought the grade was unfair #and i never once said i thought mine was bad or didnt deserve the grade! but i know i did not put much effort into it and that this showed #and yes it still turned out visually nice; i got pretty good at getting the most out of the least effort possible #and i acknowledge that this is also a skill! #but also pointing out the very visible differences in quality and effort is not? self deprecating?? or am i missing something??? #and then had 4 ppl calling me out later for talking down my own project smh #like guys at this point youre just projecting #ik im grumbling abt this way more than warranted lol but a lil venting never hurts

[elytrafemme]

also btw. just wanted to point out how Boundless Sands and the Las Nevadas Finale (no matter HOW u feel about them) both made attempts and imo did a GOOD JOB at handling the conversation about recovery. neither c!Wilbur nor c!Quackity were perfect and clearly in the beginning or in the midst of a messy road to healing but w the letters and w Friend being in limbo + c!Wilbur going home we see like. the characters were WORKING on healing and being better as people. and that to me was not only a testament to how much cc!Wilbur and cc!Quackity loved their damn characters, but was also something that really reassured me. you know as someone who has had their own mental health issues too (clearly) and has been in the throes of the recovery process for a while. shits messy and shits unclear and you relapse but you TRY and cc!Wilbur and cc!Quackity did a good job being both gentle & real about the trying part.

versus the fucking “DSMP vol 1 finale”, aka a stream that was clearly coordinated (bold word choice of mine, implying anything here was really planned) by Dream and only included some of the biggest streamers (For all the DSMP season 3 / prison break stream had faults, at least more than 5 fucking people were on the server doing things !!!), had HORRIBLE messaging about the process of healing. Ppl have gone back and forth about how bad the whole Tommy Dream “reconcilation” thing was, and I didn’t watch the stream so I only know bits and therefore can only be taken w a grain of salt here. BUT i think that the fact that (1) Tommy was even entertaining the thought of making amends, or if you think that he was making amends at the time, with Dream NOT APOLOGIZING and no follow up to show that forgiving abusers doesnt absolve their guilt and also u dont have to forgive abusers and also Tommy wasnt at fault  . and also (2) that the finale involved THE ENTIRE SERVER BLOWING UP which not only signifies that these characters NEVER got a chance to heal but also ensured everyone excluding like c!Q and c!Wil NEVER COULD. Is fucking horrific and disgusting to me. 

and not to even talk about Dream as a person bc I have so many fucking thoughts about how all that makes the messaging surrounding power dynamics in the finale So much worse (and is the reason I have yet to watch the stream bc I will just trigger myself thinking about that). 

So fucking disgusting to see how the dsmp finale happened, with NO regards to the majority of other streamers, just Dream and whoever could mindlessly tag on that happened to have pretty big viewer counts (shocker), and completely throwing out the characters and the story that have been built for YEARS. Versus how streamers like Quackity and Wilbur handled things, INCLUSIVELY and COMPASSIONATELY and fucking EXCELLENTLY, in my opinion.

#nightmare.discourse #discourse #ok to rb #Ya i know some of the Wilbur streams were kind of weird but being realistic I didn't expect perfection #clearly everyone who was part of those streams gave some amount of shits and tried #and the Las Nevadas saga was fucking fantastic like #ppl gave ccQ a lot of shit at the start of the turn in how lore happened #which tbf ppl also give like ccRanboo shit and its like I don't think that's right either #like critique on all ends deserved but my point is like #neither singlehandedly ruined everything and ppls hostility towards the more pre planned lore stuff ccQ was doing was. Undesreved. imo #bc he fucking SLAYED that lore and that lore was GOOD and Exciting #like think abt the lineup we had in Las Nevadas we got ppl from all corners of the SMP in on it #idk. Idk. idk. #feel horrible for newer members and smaller creators. feel less horrible about the others though some of them its like #Dream 0 sympathy Tommy a smidge and maybe a little more to like . Creators that got fucked over more #whatever. Idk what im talking about just. thoughts. #the coding of the finales felt weird to me

[gurorori]

i will be a hater for a minute. i hate the whole 'ohh i was too mature for my age as a kid but now i'm immature as an adult' cause never once have i seen anyone talk about the case where you were never mature. i never at all felt it or was on the same level with our peers at any point in life and that's a very different experience. the very few things we were into as a kid/teen were always juxtaposed with the things others were doing that were wiser and more sensible and more in touch with. whatever expectations are in place and whatever is gauged as mature

#MAKING IT VERY CLEAR RN NO HATE 2 PPL WHO DO FEEL REPRESNTED BY THOSE 😭 but that's all i ever see #'make yr own post abt it then' idont think i will. im not one to start these conversations im just saying with how common That statement is #its weird that no one ever talks abt This one #but i suppose theres not many of us #idk. at least ya got 2 feel jus a bit superior over others n feel a bit more 'grown' (ik its all bullshit but yk. it can b flatterin 2 hear) #me? i been team idiot since da start. idid not progress i did not improve i did not regress im just. stuck oh mt gawd im actually losing it #i actually cant handlw myseld or this life im actually breakin down so bad LOL #ok im ok. anyway im just. this is similar 2 lile 'oh my trauma made me Stronger/mature for my age/wtv' all sams thing and #wr have literally never got to experience that either. we are literally incapacitated by our trauma we are meek and lifeless and so so #afraid and helpless and dependent to the point even escaping the environment is an insurmountable task #no one talks about thia though why does bo one talk about this ... #im like if a 21yo girl was mentally age 7

[kashilascorner]

the way the lotr movies didn't really bother to properly close (or acknowledge) Eowyn and Faramir's story arcs and they just kind of threw them in together at the end

#just for the record yes eowyn's arc mostly closed since she was able to go to battle and got recognized by her uncle #but she needed more than that tbh. also doesn't help that her arc in ttt also heavily revolved around her attraction to aragorn #and they don't really talk abt it but ok. let's say I'm being picky because her character had a mostly satisfactory arc #fatamir is all over the place though?? because everyone around him puts so much emphasis in that 'oh but your dad actually loves you' #so he is sent to this suicide mission despite his own better judgement. and then he FAILS so he never gets #to do what he wants (get his father's approval). but then denethor never shows his so called love hor him. dude literally light the pyre #while his son was still breathing like. ok he's grieving terribly and not in his right mind but???? #and because of this faramir skips the final big battles #so does eowyn and they both juat kind of are left alone to heal. which is nice don't get me wrong truth is i do like them together but #i don't like how we got there because it was lazy as hell!!! and because for eowyn in particular it's sooooo disappointing as an ending. #because she was not typically femenine but then you throw her into this kinda romance that really came out of nowhere #also hate that her wounds just kind of disappear magically like dude. her arm was messed up what the hell #eowyn is my girl and i WILL complain #laura watches stuff

[reggiestein]

licorice >:3c

Sexuality Headcanon: uhhh. whatever i am😈 hes everything and nothing to me. one moment i see him as some form of bi the next i see him as greyromantic or something

Gender Headcanon: im one of the like 2 people that sees him as cis but i understand the transfem headcanon, its cute and i get it :p hes probably like vaguely demiboy or something like that to me but i don't think abt it enough to give a detailed answer

A Ship I Have With Said Character: purple yam and licorice/licoyam even though im one out of like 2 people that ship them ever <3 they don't understand me im different im alone. ALSO angel food cake x licorice duh. my little things

BROTP: uhhhh? hm. I like the idea of avocado and him being friends based on that one puns vid, i think it'd be cute and funny🙏 i think him and affogato hanging is funny but strictly in a gossip way. I wish him and pom could be friends in an alternate universe somewhere bc i think that'd be really funny (i want to like pomegranate so bad) I FEEL LIKE THERES MORE BUT I CANT THINK OF ANY😑 lame

NOTP: OH MY GOD okay. I hate licorice/clo.ver (cant remember the ship name🙏) and lico/fait so so bad im sorry. theres no real rational reason i just always hate the way they make licorice out idk. but people can like it its not problematic or anything BUT TAG YOUR POSTS PLEASE I HAVE THE TAGS BLOCKED BUT THEY KEEP SHOWING UP💔💔💔💔 also same with darklico but i think its more weird because im pretty sure theres an age gap there. if dark choco was an adult/almost an adult when milk was a kid then he's most definitely older than licorice, a cookie thats canonically a young adult (when asked about his age in the qna live they said he was "old enough to be a highschool dropout if that gives any implication" and also this desc from the operation poison mushroom thing)

Also licopom pom is a lesbian BUT ALSO why do ppl who hate licopom always act like licorice is gross or something i always see him put at the forefront like he made the ship or something. idk maybe im insane but i always see that its so weird

IDK WHY THE NOTP SECTION IS SO LONG ig i had a lot to say sorry :| anyways ppl can like lico/fait and li/clover (??) (Ill leave their tags alone) but if you like darklico or licopom youre a lil weird sorry

#end part more for darklico than licopom. licopom got problematic stuff but darklicos actually legit weird if the implications are correct #licorice cookie #asks #man ig i had some shit to say abt licorice ships i dont like💀 sorry yall i know i have some fans of those ships that follow me🙏 #ily still❤ #EXCEPT FOR DARKLICO ITS WEIRD IM SORRY. if someone can give me evidence that dark choco isnt older than like 30-40 #then ill apologize with tears🙏i swear #i still wont like the ship though #licorice is like implied to be 19-25 even his va says that hes like 35 but changed his voice to be like later teens #also nobody talks about that from what ive seen. weird ass fanbase #ok im done possibly losing followers thank u for the ask🙏 i dont wanna act like im a contrarian or sumn but i do feel like some of these r #like almost controversial takes #why do i add 29493 tags to every post i make. just make a diff post at that point

[devilishdelights]

arcana mc would not be me though i’d hop out of the country with asra instead of staying behind

#now i kinda wanna draw asra… #and my mc for the arcana AND my SI because i decided i need 2 indulge even MORE #my MC is so cute though 💜 main character energy fr #i created her initial design to work with julian’s well #but then it kept morphing into more purple tones + softer features #goddd and i’m so upset bc like. i got some fuckin ROCKIN designs for them. #they’re all SO good and i will praise myself on this fact. #i especially like joanna’s (mc) masquerade fit (based off a phoenix!! bc it’s fitting to the story n it’s COOL) #i rlly like my SI’s palace casual and masquerade and winter look #maybe i’ll do a little doodling. hehe. #btw i don’t support the arcana n all that shit ☹️. i’m still disappointed. #how can u have the best character ever in ur game when u r AWFUL….. disrespectful. #i will still b talking abt it tho on the rare occasions… just pretend they r my characters and my world ok ? ok. #i don’t even wanna know what the fuck they’re doing rn. they got some weird shit going on rn ig LOL #SI is similar to obm MC except they got a tan bc it’s fuckin HOT in the arcana universe. and obm mc is so fucking pale because well #it’s DARK THERE. !!! they gotta take vitamin d supplements

[indigodawns]

.

#had an okay writing day for my thesis yesterday and it was a rly nice day overall and then idk. rsd hit i guess and #i went to sleep way too late so ofc today i've been feeling foggy and i haven't written a word and it's 6pm like.............. #makes me feel like i wasted the work i did yesterday and i should've gone to my grandpa's bday celebrations yday #even though that didn't feel viable. he sure made me feel like shit for missing it too! #it just feels like see i could've gone and done yday's work today or some shit which ?? but sure #i just know myself and im p unbearable to be around rn/when im stressed/on a deadline so yk. + travel time + adjusting plus socialising... #also had a long talk w/ my friends yday and it was nice and it was all about how you experience consciousness but also idk. #also i keep being so sharp and kinda mean to one of my friends and it's sooooooooo she says it's fine and it's not that bad but ughhhhhhh #im sure the core of this spiral is i just rly don't like myself and i think im right not to so like. what now #and none of this even matters like. get it toGETHER #also adhd meds aren't magically fixing my life so that's another scam (but ok they DO help at least i can actually write and think then) #anyways. #i think it's. feeling this & hating myself and my friend talking about how they're past that and life is still hard for them #and it's not about me but it does make me feel stupid like true all my problems are self-made not even circumstancial like. #also feel like i keep saying the wrong thing to people and i keep messing up my words lately and boooooooo idk #anyways im ok i just don't wanna moan abt this to anyone specifically but clearly im stuck so yk? #should i share more nice moments here too??? i just always feel like whatever emotion im feeling disappears when i share it so??? #maybe bc i overthink it then or whatever #but i can!! maybe i should #for yday: had a rly rly fun convo with a friend who gave me the wildest updates ever + spent time with 2 of my best friends #+ smelled the flowers and that v v specific spring to summer air and felt the sun on my face #FINE maybe therapists have a point

[doodlebloo]

I fucking hate when people care wayy too much about someones sexuality/label

Anytime i see people that are wayy to invested in someone else's sexuality/label i am reminded of this quote from a comedian "who gives a shit, it doesnt matter, it doesnt have effect on your life, why the hell do you care?

Everyone always talks themselves in circles about it because apparently no one can tell the difference between "ignoring" a streamer's sexuality and literally respecting their wishes by not constantly bringing it up all the time. It is so simple quick and easy to laugh at the jokes they make and literally move on immediately. Just make it as big of a deal as THEY want it to be yknow

#some streamers want to talk a lot about their identity! others dont! both are fine! fuck!!! #asks #anon #does this need a discourse tag. FUCK sorry. #ok i am NOT TALKING ABT THIS ANYMORE IM DONE FOR TONIGHT. #feel free to send more tubnet asks though :)