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elphiej · 3 years

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Be My Light - Chapter 4: The Mad Leader

*Genre: Mafia, angst, eventual smut, slow burn

*Warnings: References to violence, minor assault,

Author’s note: First off, I’d like to send a special Thank You to someone who was a huge inspiration to me and to this story. This is the chapter that really started it all and I was inspired by @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng ‘s mafia reaction series. She is a fantastic person and was one of the first people I showed this Be My Light to when I was too scared to post it. She is a beautiful soul and wonderful writer. Thank you for the push.

Another Big thanks to my editor for sticking with me all this time and into the future. And, of course, to all the people who are reading, commenting, and reblogging this. I can’t tell you all how much is means to me. Thank you all and I hope you enjoy this next installment of Be My Light. (P.S. I have a thing for RM in a long trench coat.)

Tag list: @lolalalooo @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng, @barbikatherine , @mrsfortune1306 , @lovesick-heart0 , @iamnamjoonsbxtch , @deathkat657 , @deeepvibes , @sugamonster22 , @weiinihao, @hemmofluke , @rainbow-zebra-unicorns , @joyfullyobsessed , @elvencantation ,

Chapter 4: The Mad Leader

You stared at the cell phone clutched in your hand, your mind spinning with so many questions. Who were those people? Why did talking to this ‘RM’ make you feel like something bad was coming? With that deep, serious tone, were they just as dangerous as the man with the cane? And what kind of normal person calls themselves ‘RM’? Agust was already on the edge of interesting and odd as it was. Scanning over the still lit screen, you wondered what other names were in the contact list. Other than ‘God of Destruction’, the last few calls you could see without going through the device belonged to ‘Mochi’, ‘My Favorite’, and ‘Worldwide Pain in my Ass’. Based on those names, you couldn’t begin to imagine who was gonna match those names.

It was safe to assume that this RM guy was concerned about the man in the suit trying to finish the job. The hospital had a good security team but you thought it best to talk to Doctor- Henry- to see if more could be done. Your hand paused as it went to put the cell phone back with Agust’s things; if RM or any of the odd named voices tried to contact you for an update, they would most likely call that, instead of trying to navigate the hospital switch board. Figuring it was the best option, you placed the phone safely in your scrub’s pocket as you moved to the bedside for one last check on the patient. Agust hadn’t moved again since right before the phone call and was still as could be. The monitors were all reading normally. There was a blood transfusion line in his arm to help replace what he had lost, along with another IV pushing fluids and medication. You adjusted his arm to make it more comfortable for him once he woke up.

“I’ll be back to check on you as soon as I can,” you said as you fixed his blankets. “Please, try not to do anything until I get back.”

You slipped out of the room and pulled the door shut behind you. There was an anxious feeling that crept back into your gut, the same one you felt when you had first heard the gun shots ring out from the silence of the construction site. Your mind had so many thoughts and scenarios running through it that you felt overwhelmed. Things like, ‘what if the man with the cane and rough voice came here? Would he shoot his way through the floors until he found Agust? Were you really as safe as you hoped?’ The hospital had been under a few threats but nothing had ever come from those except words. It would be best to stay as cautious as possible. You had too many friends and patients to not take your feelings seriously.

As you made your way towards your station, you were surprised to see that Henry was already there leaning over the desk with the phone pressed up against his ear. He pulled a pad of paper from the other side of the desk and started scribbling something down as he nodded and spoke in a low tone to whomever was on the other end. That saves me from having to page him, you mused. Henry did a double take towards you when he noticed you out of the corner of his eye. He beaconed you over with an urgent wave of his hand. The calm yet awkward demeanor from earlier had been replaced with a more serious one. Once you were within an arm’s reach of him, he reassured whomever he was talking to that ‘everything will be taken care of’ and hung up.

“Good,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I need you to help me.”

“Henry, about that John Doe patient. I was able to talk to someone close to him. I think we may need to alert the security team about- “

“I’ve already talked to them. The hospital is going on alert for any suspicious activity entering the hospital. And we are actually moving the patient to one of the private units upstairs. I just got off the phone with the director and we’ve got everything worked out for you so you’ll be safe,” he said over his shoulder as he started walking down the hall.

“Wait, what does that mean? What do you mean by worked everything out?” You took extra long steps to keep up with his brisk pace.

“The same person who demanded higher security for that patient requested that you be kept with him as his private staff until otherwise. Which means you’ll be in the secure ward with him in case anything happens. It’s gonna be for the best. You were the first one with him and it’s gonna be more comfortable if he doesn’t have to get acclimated to someone else after all this. Don’t worry, we’ve got it worked out with Jax already.”

Henry led you back into Agust’s room and made fast work of disconnecting him from the machines that surrounded him. He pulled the IV bags down and placed them on the bed by the still form. Meanwhile, you were frozen at the end of the bed, feeling dizzy from how fast he seemed to expect you to understand what was happening. This wasn’t the first gang related case you had been assigned to since starting at Mercy, nor was it the first gunshot case; why did this sudden change to the routine make you feel ever more nervous? Never had you moved a patient into a secure wing designed from more severe or quarantined patients before just because someone had requested it. Henry called your name to shake you from your thoughts and motioned you to move to the side of the bed as he unlocked the wheels of the gurney and pushed the bed from the wall. As you helped guide it from the room, you couldn’t help but feel the tension grow.

“So, I am just supposed to stay locked up in some room like a prisoner? And be someone’s private nurse? What about the rest of my patients here? I can’t just leave Amber to tend to them all alone. We are short staffed as it is,” you mentioned as you navigated everyone into the elevator at the end of the hall.

Henry hit a button and the elevator started to move. He leaned close to look you in the face, his eyes filled with seriousness. “Listen, Y/N, I know this is strange but you just have to trust me. I don’t know all the details but someone particularly important has to be involved to make the director so quick to comply with whatever they asked. But no matter what, your safety is my priority, maybe a bit more than my patients. I’m sure the director thinks that too. Whoever it is must just want to make sure this guy has the best care possible. And when he gets here, he’ll probably want to hear from you what happened. And if whatever gang did this does try anything, I don’t want you to worry because no one is going to get to him or you. Only the director, you, and I will have access to this room or know where he is. Apparently, the man the director talked to said he would have a way to get a hold of you and prove his identity to gain access. I know how you are, Y/N, you are a great person. That’s why you’re so good at what you do. But don’t think that you are inconveniencing anyone; Jax has already rearranged everything and made some calls. I really need you to think about yourself now. And what is best is for you is to do what I am asking and not over think this right now.”

Henry was being so sincere that you couldn’t find the voice to make any arguments. You gave him a weak nod and tried to take what he said to heart. As Amber had pointed out before, one of your qualities was that you put others well before yourself. Hence, why you were in this predicament. As the doors opened onto the new floor, you promised him that you would try.

The door opened onto a floor where the more severe, long term patients were kept. This floor could, also, be used for quarantining or the more delicate of patients. At the moment, you knew it had only a few occupants: a coma patient, a patient suffering from extreme burns, and someone from the psych ward that needed more focused attention. To enter this ward, you needed a key card, making this more isolated than your full and frantic floor. Henry commented there was no record that Agust had been moved in any of the files. And if anyone tried to look him up, it would be like he never existed. The person who had called to make all this happen had said he’d contact you and that he and his colleagues were to say they were here to perform community service if asked by anyone else. Apparently, they deemed it as security protection. Henry had you swipe your ID to gain access to the floor and you made your way down the silent hall to the vacant room Henry had staked out for you to stay in. The room was bigger than the one you were used to on your floor. There was a small couch across from where the bed was to go, a private bath off near the entrance, and even a TV in the corner. There was, also, a small recliner near where the head of the gurney was to rest. You imagined you’d be there most of the time. Henry helped you set everything back up in the room and did a quick check on the patient after he was secured in his new residence.

“Hopefully, he’s gonna wake up a bit soon. He’s reacting well to what I’m doing,” Henry commented as he checked Agust’s pupils constrict as he shined his pen light in them. He gave some instructions about his IV and transfusion processes. He gave you a quick run down of the floor in case you needed anything. “Until he wakes up, I guess feel free to do whatever in here. It can be like a mini vacation. You know, if you ignore all the weird stuff happening. You can watch some TV or order some food. The mysterious man said to spare no expense when it came to our patient or you. I promise by Friday this will be all over and we can go out and talk about nicer things. Okay?”

Before you could stop yourself, you felt your cheeks get hot and you turned your eyes to the floor. This was not the best place for this, but you knew Henry did it to only ease the anxiety you were feeling. He was almost too perfect. Henry promised to check in once he had finished his rounds as he left from the room and pulled the door shut behind him. You heard the security lock click into place, knowing it would only open from the inside or if you had an ID card. You allowed yourself to drop into the recliner, allowing everything to wash over you. Paranoia was thick in the air as you tried to make sense of everything. Henry was right; whoever these people were they must just want to talk to you and this was easier than scouting the halls. But the thought did very little to chase the nervousness away. Your hands started to rub together out of tension, squeezing your fingers, cracking your knuckles one by one with your thumbs. You took a few deep breaths as you tried to force yourself out of the impending panic. Your eyes looked over at the bed. You tried to remind yourself that you needed to keep it together and be strong for him. Then your eyes landed on his hand. You remembered when you were hiding behind the counter when the man with the cane was getting closer and closer. And when Agust had reached over and squeezed your hand. In that moment, he gave you reassurance with such a small gesture, not thinking of himself. You remembered how genuine it felt. It’d be nice if you could do that now, you thought with a weak smile.

Instead, you settled for forcing yourself to think of something else. You read through his charts, tapped through some news on your phone, and tried to people watch out the window behind the couch. The afternoon sun had started making its way towards the horizon; how quickly the day had ended up flying by. You had decided against turning on the television for now, thinking how awkward it would be for him to wake up to you watching some trash TV show. You tried walking around the room to get a sense of where you’d be staying for the foreseeable future. But all of that only killed twenty minutes and you were still stir-crazy. There wasn’t much you could do for Agust at the moment, except allow him to rest without you trying to hold his hand or anything else.

Suddenly, there was a buzzing in your pocket; it was Agust’s phone. You were a bit ashamed at how quickly you reached for it. There was a new text message. It was from a new named contact: Sunshine. The preview of the message said, ‘To Miss Nurse’, making your assumption that the people on the other end would have expected you to keep the phone on you correct. And since it was addressed to you, you didn’t feel too bad about opening the phone again. You swiped open the text and tried not to scroll anywhere higher into their previous chats.

- Sunshine: To Miss Nurse. if you see this, please take good care of our Hyung. And if he gives you any trouble, tell him I said to behave. RM should be almost there. He tends to speed.

There were a couple silly emojis next to it that made you smile. Surely, they can’t be bad people if this is how they communicate. They must be close friends. Though, you still wondered how they had gotten the director to do all this. Maybe there was someone else doing all of this? You shook your head and typed a quick message back, so not to have them worry.

- I’ll take good care of him. That’s my job.

You really hoped Agust didn’t mind you messing with his phone. Though, you figured it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission in this scenario. There was no response which made you think that it was all he needed at the time. Gazing at the clock on the phone, you had wasted thirty minutes in the room so far. You thought of your backpack in the locker room a few floors down and some of your things at your stations that you could pass the time with. Since Agust was secure here, you thought it may be a good idea to gather some things to help you waste time until this RM shows up. It was unlikely that Agust was going to wake up yet, and you could be fast so he wouldn’t be alone for long. You slipped the phone back into your pocket and rose from the chair, heading for the door. You cast one more look at the still figure in the bed before dimming the lights and pulled the door shut behind you.

You set off at a brisk pace for the elevator and took it down a few levels to where the staff locker room was kept. You raced in, pulled your bag from your locker, and left before anyone noticed you. You were sure since the director had put the whole hospital on alert that everyone was making rounds to keep eyes everywhere. You hoped grabbing your stuff from your station was just as easy; you weren’t sure about how to explain why you had suddenly deserted your station. Amber wasn’t there but you could hear her and Jax talking loudly from a back room. You wanted to talk to your best friend, to help ease some nerves and have her tell you exactly what you needed to hear. But you didn’t want to wait around or take her away from her new workload. You pulled open the drawer where you kept some personal items, incase of slower work days, and shoved them into your bag. You froze when your fingers hit against something that you knew, instantly, should not be in your bag. Peering into the opening, your eyes locked onto a metallic, black, studded object that you had seen earlier that morning.

The gun Agust had placed in your hand.

How did that get in there? You didn’t remember grabbing it unless it had happened in the chaos of the EMTs and police rushing to assess the situation. Well, if you weren’t already anxious, this just made it worse. Let’s just add this to the ever-growing list of stupid things I’ve done today, you berated yourself. You brought a potentially loaded gun into a hospital. You needed to get back up to the room and get this out of your possession. Maybe when this RM got there, he could take it from you. You pulled the bag shut and slugged it over your shoulder, trying hard not to think about it.

You moved away from the desk and down the hall towards the elevator. But as you stepped into the silent hall with all the doors closed, one was not closed as it had been when you left; the room where Agust had been. And there was someone looking inside. There was a man, tall and stocky, and dressed in a simple navy uniform. He wasn’t a part of the hospital staff and you didn’t think he was there to clean the room with the lights still off. Trying to stay as unnoticed as you could, you took longer strides towards the end. As you passed behind him, you peered beyond him into the pitch blackness of the room to just make out another figure lurking there. He wasn’t dressed in the same way as the man in the door. He was in darker colors that you couldn’t make out and wore what looked like a fedora on his head. What caught your attention as you passed, was the small peek of icy, blue hairs that were just visible on the side. A deep grumble that sounded from the room made your breath catch in your throat, and made you stop in your tracks. It sounded so familiar to the sadistic voice from this morning. The man with the cane had gotten into the hospital?! How, they upped security measures, hadn’t they? Maybe it was your imagination playing with you with all the stress. Not wanting to stick around to figure out if you were right, you tried to get away before they had noticed you.

But, sadly, you weren’t that lucky.

“Excuse me, nurse. Perhaps you can help me.”

You felt your whole body stiffen as the voice was all to clearly the one that had stalked you from beyond the counter. The voice that dripped with crazed malice and venom as he called out for Agust, that had taunted and tried to lure him out. The voice that you were sure would haunt your dreams. It was the man with the cane, though he didn’t have it now. As you turned, he looked nothing like the half-crazed man yelling and destroying things around him. He looked almost normal, save for the fake smile he had plastered across his lips. He was no longer dressed in the light blue suit and fur coat you had caught a glimpse behind the counter, but in a simple dark blazer and trousers. The man who lingered in the doorway had come to stand next to him as they walked up to you, dressed in a police uniform. His uniform cap was pulled low to obscure his face, though you could see bruising and swelling through the shadows. Both of them gave a slight bow to you.

“Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Inspector Taop, this is officer Chen. We are here following up on a patient that was supposed to be brought here. I’ve been looking everywhere, but no one has an answer for me whether he is here or not. And I haven’t seen a single worker on this floor.”

He had never seen you at the scene so you knew he didn’t recognize you, or could see that you didn’t believe anything that was coming out of his mouth. That would help you, you decided. You took a deep breath and tried to hide the fear and nervousness. Just act normal. Try to stall until someone comes around.

“Sorry, officer, we’re a bit understaffed as it is. What can I help you with?”

“I’m looking for a patient that was brought here. Gunshot victim, a young man, brought in this morning?”

“Can you be a bit more specific? We are a hospital. Do you know how many young men we have come in here with some kind of bullet wound? I had six this month.”

You saw the smile slip and irritation rise in those cold eyes. He cleared his throat, trying to hold on to his polite composure. “This one would have come in this morning. There was a shooting downtown. He would have had multiple gunshot wounds. One nurse said he was brought in by ambulance this morning, but then another said that they found no record of him. And the last person I talked to sent me here. Please, this is very important.”

“Can I see your badge, sir?” He looked completely off guard by the question. You, also, seemed confused. It had just jumped out of your mouth before you realized it. But it seemed like the right thing to ask. You continued, “There’s been a threat made to the hospital, you see, and I need to make sure that everything is in order. I would get in trouble if I gave such information about any patient to an imposter.”

You could see the wheels in his head turning. But you didn’t expect him to nod his head, understandingly, and reach into his pocket to hand you a leather, bifold wallet. Was this psycho really a police officer? How could someone so vile be in law enforcement? You thought back to what little memories of your father that you had lingering in the back of your mind and couldn’t begin to imagine him doing anything like what this man had done, no matter how bad of a criminal they were. Before you could think, your body seemed to act on it’s own again and opened the wallet and your eyes started to dance across the metal shield. You weren’t entirely sure what you were looking for at first. Until your eyes caught it and something clicked in your mind. It was a fake, but an exceptionally good fake. Anyone else would have just taken it at face value but something in your mind flashed and screamed that this was a fake like the smile still on the ‘inspector’s’ face. In the reaches of your memory, you remembered running your fingers over your father’s badge, memorizing every detail. And you still did that when you were stressed out; you still had his badge and it was currently in the front pocket of your bag. And you seemed to recall your father teaching you how to identify a real badge from others.

A sudden anger took hold of you that seemed to spur on some brave part of you. You closed the wallet and handed it back to him, keeping your face neutral to hide that you were even more sure of his act. Maybe it was the dishonor to officers like your father, or that he was trying to get to the boy you had risked a lot to save. And your hard work was not going to waste. “I’m sorry officer. But like I said, we have a few patients that could fit your description. None on this floor at all. And if the other nurses said they have no record of him, I’m not sure what I can do for you. Besides that, if we did have a patient come in with multiple gunshot wounds, I imagine that they’d need extensive surgery and wouldn’t be conscious to answer any questions you could have. And with no guardian to act in their place until they are awake to consent to a line of questioning about a traumatic experience, I can’t let you go any further. You should know that, Officer.”

The smile was wiped from the man’s face. The uniformed man’s eyes got wide at your declaration and they shifted towards his leader in panic. Taop, or whatever his real name was, straightened up and took a step towards you. He towered over you and the energy radiating from him would have intimidated you into submission. Just like with your ex. But you needed to protect Agust. In any case, all you needed to do was scream and someone would be alerted. There wasn’t much this asshole could accomplish without being found out. But he continued to advance until he backed you up against the wall. Even still, you never broke eye contact with him.

“I don’t think you understand the situation of this, little girl,” he said, rage tittering on the edge of his voice. “There are some really dangerous people and it would be a shame if you got caught in the crossfires. It’s in your best interest to answer my questions and tell me what I need to know.”

“Then bring a warrant,” you challenged.

His hand collided with the wall next to your head, making you jump. His face was so close to yours now, and there was the crazed man you remembered from this morning. Your heart was in your ears. He, suddenly, took a deep inhale then another before tilting his head to the side. “What a brave little girl. Tell me, where were you this morning? Something tells me you may be exactly who I need to talk to.”

“Hey, back off her!”

Both you and the man turned to look down the hall towards the elevator towards the source of the deep voice that had interrupted the line of questioning. The doors of the elevator were opened and from them stepped a young man with platinum white hair. His eyes were haunting and strong, like a dragon woken from his peace. He was exceptionally tall, taking long strides towards the scene. You couldn’t help but let your eyes take in the man who was coming to your rescue. Dressed in a dark trouser and a white buttoned up shirt gave him a classic handsomeness, and a long black coat with a hood drawn up that accentuated his height. As he approached, he slid the hood down and swiped his hand up to push the stray white hairs from his face. If you weren’t terrified, you would have appreciated how handsome he was. You glanced back at the man caging you; his body tensed as the newcomer walked up but his face never showed.

He let out a sigh and a small smile reappeared, but it was not the same he had tried to charm you with. It was one of arrogance. “Ah, Mr. Kim,” the inspector said, not moving from his position, “how nice of you to drop in.”

“You’ve got some nerve,” the handsome newcomer said, his tone low and smooth.

“What for? Being too formal? Do you not like me using your surname? I’m not sure which name you prefer now; you change names so often, it’s hard to keep up after all this time.”

“You’re one to talk. What name are you going by now, officer? Here to investigate a fraud? Or are you here to put yourself into more trouble?”

“Such a negative attitude. Officer Chen and I are here on official business,” the detective flashed his badge at the so named Mr. Kim. “And this nice young lady was willing to help me out with some information. Isn’t that right, Little Girl?”

“It sure doesn’t look that way coming from the elevator. I think you need to take a step back,” Mr. Kim ordered with a strong but suggestive tone that made you question what kind of power someone as young looking as him could possess.

The fake detective made no sign that he was planning on heeding the newcomer’s words to move from your personal space. His eyes shifted from Mr. Kim back to you. His stare bore into you sharper than claws and made your breath catch. You weren’t sure if he was trying to scare you into agreeing with him or just threaten you. But Mr. Kim was having none of that; he gave the older man’s shoulder a hard shove and wedged himself in the space between you to keep you away from the other man. Mr. Kim reached a hand behind him and placed it on your arm, to keep you secure behind him and to give you some reassurance that he was not going to hurt you. You couldn’t help yourself, as you fisted your hands into the back of his coat and peered around his massive frame.

“You always have to play savior, don’t you Rapmon?” The way he had said the name made it seem like he was trying to strike a nerve in Mr. Kim. But the other man gave no sign that he was bothered. “You make it seem like I was doing something unseemly to her. You and your broken boy scouts always turn things difficult. Speaking of, where are the others? Maybe they could answer some questions for me. There’s one in particular I’m interested in seeing. I’m checking up on a victim from a shooting downtown. Just making sure he’s doing alright.”

“You’re really committed to this bit, aren’t you Choi? Oh, sorry- what name are you going by today? It’s so hard to keep track, isn’t that what you said?” Mr. Kim tilted his head to the side, eyes twinkling with a mischievous shine.

“What a nuisance you are. I’m just trying to get information to make sure things go well. Though come to think of it, your boys may not know much. Word was that the victim was all alone. Left all by themselves, bleeding and hurt in such a dangerous situation. What kind of friends would let someone knowingly go into that situation alone? Now, I’d really like to finish my conversation with the little lady, Rapmon.” When Choi, as you figured his name actually was, took a step towards you, Mr. Kim moved the both of you to keep you behind him and further away from the other. “Well, since you seem hellbent on keeping me from doing something so simple, I could always ask you. Though to be honest, your being here may have answered my questions.”

“My being here answers nothing,” Mr. Kim challenged. “Unlike you, I am here to do good for the community. And it’s a good thing I came by when I did. You’re already on thin ice after all the trouble you’ve caused. Imagine what would happen if you caused any problems while on Hallowed Ground. If you were to hurt anyone staying or working here, you would have more than my family looking for you. The rest of the Families would be looking to teach you a lesson. Imagine what most of them will think when they hear about the deceit you pulled this morning. After what I witnessed, you can be sure I’ll have eyes monitoring this place. You will not go against the Accords.”

“Don’t you lecture me about the Accords, you psycho. I’ve been around just as long as they have and lived them. I taught them to you.”

“And yet, you only follow them when they suit you. Just like your leader and his before him. But things are different now. They are gone, and your hold is slipping. I have enough pull now to ensure Accords are followed. And if you want to make a further spectacle of yourself, I’ll gladly show you I’m not that kid anymore that you ordered around. You saw what my boys can do when pushed. Try me.”

Choi started to laugh, eyes shining in disbelief at the younger bossing him around. As you peered around Mr. Kim’s frame, you saw him go to say something to officer Chen, but couldn’t form the word. He raised his hand towards the white-haired man, but let it drop with a growl. Whatever look was set upon the elder made him rethink his next move. He settled for raising his hands in a surrender and jerking his head towards his companion to tell him they were leaving. It surprised you that he was giving up so easily after how he had acted towards you. You weren’t sure what Mr. Kim meant by accords and families, but it was more than obvious that it meant something to them. Glancing up at your protector, his face remained locked in the same stern and serious mask he had when he had appeared. His eyes, perfectly lined and accentuated with makeup that only made him more intriguing, followed the pair as they turned down the hall.

But before they could get too far, Choi stopped. He turned enough to gaze at the two of you over his shoulder, the dark and manic gleam from that morning flashing like a warning sign. He chuckled before his teasing and taunting voice that had called out to Agust filled the hall like glass shattering. “Look at how far our little maniac has come. Really living up to the title of Mad Leader, aren’t you? He thinks he’s so big and strong that he can just order me around and act like a knight in shining armor to the weak. The Mad Leader’s trying so hard to put up a front, to hide who he is, to hide the other side of the looking glass. But lest he forget, I know things he wouldn’t want others to know. And I seem to recall,” Choi turned fully around and took a full stride back towards Mr. Kim, “you had an issue with places like this. You don’t enjoy being here. Are you falling down the rabbit hole? You even have an Alice this time it would seem. So tell me, Mad Leader, are the walls closing in on you yet? Are you feeling anxious?”

You could feel Mr. Kim tense up at the name ‘Mad Leader’ each time Choi said it. He took a deep breath, trying to ground himself. He gave you a polite push away from him before fixing Choi with a glare that made officer Chen startle. You could almost feel the air change as he stepped up to be nose to nose with the thug.

“Since you can’t seem to remember my name, asshole, let me spell it out for you. It’s RM, R to the M. And I’m a motherfucking monster. Keep pushing me. I dare you. You hurt one of my boys. You better pray that he makes it out of all this ok. Or you’ll see just how ‘mad’ I can get.”

Chen seemed to realize that something bad was building as he took hold of his superior and pulled him away from RM, newly identified. Choi kept the taunting smile spread across his lips as he allowed Chen to lead him away. Before he got too far, he looked over at you and gave a nod, “We’ll be in touch, Little Girl.” And then he disappeared from the floor, leaving you in the presence of RM. You can’t say you had expected this person to belong to the voice on the other end of the phone, but it would seem like that was the theme of the day. The tall man took a few deep breaths and ran his hand through his white hair before turning back to you. The serious mask he had worn had slipped away and was more approachable. He straightened his clothes before returning to your side.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said, “But he shouldn’t be back. He talks a good game but he knows when he’s out done. Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head. “I can’t believe he got in. The hospital is on lock down.”

“Well, he’s been around a while. He has his ways. Now that he’s gone, I was hoping you could help me. I’m looking for a nurse called Y/N.” You locked eyes with him and gave him a nod of affirmation. He gave you a smile, showing off a pair of dimples in his cheeks that made him much more innocent and sweeter than the man who had gone nose to nose with the monstrous thug. “That’s a coincidence. Nice to meet you. Can you show me where to go?”

“Prove that you’re who you say you are,” you said, taking a step away from him. Despite that you were sure he was the one you had talked to, it seemed like nothing was safe. He looked at you for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone before letting his finger glide across the screen. A moment later, Agust phone sounded off in your pocket. He glanced over at you with a bemused look as you pulled the phone out and saw the screen lit up with a notification.

- God of Destruction: It’s me.

“Sorry,” you said, feeling embarrassed by your sudden suspicion, “but after that guy flashed a fake police badge at me, I just wanted to be sure. Thank you for coming and for helping me. Are you Agust’s brother or a friend?”

RM’s eyes narrowed when he heard you say Agust and gave you a strange look. His eyes seemed to dance about you, as if he was trying to figure something out. But as quickly as it appeared, the look disappeared and he smiled again. “We usually call him Suga. Only people who don’t like him call him Agust. I don’t think he’d want you calling him that. Can we go see him now? We’ve been worried about him.” You nodded and motioned him to follow you back to the elevator. As you waited for the doors to reopen, he leaned over and whispered, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Hyung you had his phone.”

“What? Does he have some embarrassing things on here,” you joked.

“Maybe,” came the reply and heard RM chuckle as he allowed you to step into the elevator.

You hit the button for the floor that they moved Agu- Suga to, the doors slid shut, and the lift jolted to a start. As the sound of the mechanisms filled the space, you caught a glimpse of the tall man flinch. It seemed odd, seeing as he had just faced off against the most frightening person you had ever seen. The taunting words he had said to RM before leaving came to mind, about not liking it in a hospital. It wasn’t uncommon for people to have bad experiences related to hospitals, so you tried to brush it off. Once you had made it to the secure floor, you led him down the hall. You explained that the floor was only accessible to a few people and how they had followed the directions as specified to the director. The entire time, RM listened very intently, eyes never leaving you. He was the picture of professionalism and sincerity. You swiped the two of you into the ward, and he held the door open for you as you led him down the hall to the room. As you neared the room, you wondered if you were going to survive the present of two very handsome men. Hopefully, the rest of his friends that you heard over the phone were somewhat average.

As you both entered the room, RM came to a stop in the threshold of the door, his eyes staring at the bed. You could see the worry and panic that you had heard over the phone slip across his face. You reached out and touched his arm. He looked at you with an almost innocent gaze, like he was questioning if it was alright to get closer. You gave him a nod and he was beside his friend in a flash. He looked as if he was debating to reach out to Suga, as if he were made of glass, but settled for taking hold of his hand. RM let out a breath and looked relieved to have finally seen his friend. From your place at the edge of the room, you could see how much one meant to the other and all worries about them being as bad as Choi disappeared.

“Is he going to be ok? What did they do to him,” RM asked, never taking his eyes off his companion.

“Dr. Na took good care of him,” you said, reaching for the file at the end of the bed. “He was shot twice, once in the shoulder and on his left side. The gunshot wound on his side appeared to be at close range and the bullet went through. Thankfully, there wasn’t much damage done. The bullet was lodged in his shoulder, but Dr. Na was able to remove it and mend up some of the damage. We’ll know more when he wakes up, but he should have full range of motion after some rest. He, also, has some bruised ribs and a slight concussion. Along with bruising and defensive wounds pretty much everywhere. He, also, lost a lot of blood. He’s in the middle of a transfusion now. But he is responding well to everything and we believe he should be waking up soon. With enough care, patience, and support, he should make a full recovery in no time. Which is amazing; when I found him, I was worried with how much blood he had lost that he may have had a harder road to recovery.”

RM flicked his eyes over to you. “You found him?”

“They must not have told you. I was on my way to work when I heard the gunshots. I was the first to find him and get him to safety.”

RM looked like he wanted to ask more questions, when a soft groan came from the bed and drew the attention. Suga took in a deep breath and his body shifted as if fighting to wake and identify the voices. After a tense moment, his body relaxed and his eyes opened slightly. From the edge of the bed, you could see the glazed and shiny effects of the medication still trying to hold him in the state of unconsciousness, and realized he may not fully be aware of what is happening. But you were sure the presence of RM had drawn him out enough to give them a sign that he was okay. RM called out to his hyung softly, drawing Suga’s attention as he gazed about the room.

“Hyung, hey, can you hear me?”

Suga’s eyes fully landed on RM. It seemed as if he was fighting his way to recognition before he gave a small, drugged smile back. “Joon,” his voice sounded exhausted and stained.

RM laughed. “Yeah, Hyung, it’s me. You’re gonna be okay. You’re safe.”

“Joonie, I think I’m dead. I saw an angel.”

The whitehaired man reached out and ran his fingers, gently, through his friend’s hair. “No, Hyung, you’re only tired. That bastard messed you up but you’re gonna be alright now. Why don’t you go back to sleep? The boys and I will be here when you wake up.”

“Oh,” Suga said, almost sounding disappointed as the drugs started to drag him back to oblivion, “too bad. It was a pretty angel. Prettier than Jiminie and Hyungie combined. But don’t tell them I said that.” And just as fast as he woke, Suga went silent and still again.

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fansofvow · 3 years

Text

im here to clear up some things.

edit: just scroll to the bottom for the tl;dr cause this is a lot but i think its necessary so it doesnt seem half assed or glossed over.

if you can’t tell by the perpetual lowercase here, its mod galen! i figured i should address the drama coming on here from a different perspective. no, this isn’t mod atlas dumping all her problems on me, she’s already tried talking abt it herself - its me deciding to speak up on my own accord after seeing the shitfest my dash has become.

keep in mind - i will be happy to discuss any of this with you guys civilly, but im not going to be kind to nasty anon hate. dm us, or just send us a polite ask, and we can sort things out! if we’ve done something ignorant, i promise you we will educate ourselves and apologise sincerely.

the galen thing

first and foremost - i saw some people saying its sus that i, an nb mod, was added to the blog right after the galen debacle. it was not to save face or hide behind me! ironically, the reason i got added now of all times was because mod atlas and i were discussing what was going on, i gave my thoughts on the matter, she asked me if id be interested in being a mod!

mod atlas then thanked me for my insight and educated her on the issue and figured it would be a good idea to actually have someone in the lgbt+ community on the blog - that way, these silly ignorant mistakes will not happen again. i wont let it happen. not to mention she’s getting pretty busy in her personal life so she thought itd be a good idea to bring someone else on board.

i believe that people can learn from their mistakes - i was also hurt by that misgendering galen post. i bitched about it too. but i saw that everyone involved apologised, genuinely didn’t mean it, and promised to do better. and i’ll hold them to that! but im not gonna start talking trash abt them on other peoples blogs just bc they made a rly ignorant post. if you’re cis, i really don’t want you speaking up on this matter anymore. its not your fight. youre not in the position to forgive nor condemn any of these people. trans folk, im not going to tell you that anyone deserves your forgiveness, that’s up to you, but what they do deserve is your decent respect. unless they say theyre blatantly against trans people - aka make a deliberately transphobic statement rather than one made out of pure ignorance - in that case, all bets are off lmfao. i dont take that shit lightly and ill come for you too.

to the person who made the misgendering galen post - you know who you are, i dont want to send you any more hate than you’ve already been getting so im not going to @ you, but please. reupload your apology about the post, cause i scrolled through your blog for ages and didn’t find it - if i didn’t see it reblogged on this blog, i wouldn’t have known you apologised. i wouldn’t have felt like your blog is a safe space for nonbinary folk. its important you own up to mistakes and keep the apology there.

the nahara thing

look. im poc. im also straight up sick and tired of lovestruck’s mistreatment of dark-skinned characters, especially black characters (why do half of them look like recoloured white people....?) like nahara. its important for our representation that she does well! that way, we can get more diverse li’s on our roster in the future instead of every skinny white person getting the spotlight and 9238428903 seasons. (i love you onyx and juliette, but what the fuck.)

that being said - i dont think what mod atlas said was that bad, especially considering it wasn’t here on fansofvow, the only thing reblogged onto here being her english lesson on galen’s route with a relieved comment abt how thats a series started right.

please understand - we’ve been afraid of the new characters’ routes ever since the strike. a lot of writers left, a lot are likely to be leaving, and we’re concerned about the status of the app. this wasn’t to shoot down nahara, but out of pure relief that we’re not seeing a downwards spike in the writing quality post-strike.

that being said - if you think nahara’s route is well written, and great - thats awesome! please give her all the love for us, cause we do want her to do well. she’s just not our cup of tea. can we please respect that instead of slamming this blog’s name? nahara is still doing well, im seeing hype for her everywhere- one or two negative opinions wont change that. we’re not even going to a leave a review in-app, which is the most important form of community feedback to lovestruck.

the posts have been deleted. please, give it a rest. keep loving nahara. quit the drama.

the nikolai’s route in school thing

all the students that saw the screenshots were 18+, and none of the examples were sexual in nature. teenagers get shown romeo and juliet in school, a play ending in a double suicide, but showing adults a few lines of good writing from a 17+ app is bad? its not like she showed them a scene from a straight up porno, its just a story that happens to have sexual themes in it. its up to the students whether they read the whole story or not, and they’re mature enough to handle it. that’s all im going to say abt the matter, cause im no teacher,

and lastly...

i see a lot of people saying that we, fansofvow, need to “set an example” cause we think we’re a “fandom leader” or somehow think we’re on some high horse cause of clout? i have no idea where this started because ik for a fact mod atlas has never referred to herself as a “fandom leader” or anything like that, and guys, we’re not that up ourselves. we don’t even have tons of followers! we’re just doing our thing to support VOW. please don’t put words in our mouths.

with all that out of the way, i hope we can move on and make the community a happier place for everyone.

-mod galen

tl;dr: people make ignorant mistakes sometimes. mod atlas has apologised for reblogging the post abt misgendering galen, wants nahara to do well, only showed non-sexual writing examples of nikolai to 18+ students and never called herself a “fandom leader.”

#long post #mod galen #discourse #pls let this be the only time we have to use that tag

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lethbians · 4 years

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can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts.

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention.

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable with “notsfw” and “bill hader”.

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs.

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves.

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over.

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag.

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti.

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself.

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog).

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine.

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts.

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again.

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content.

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning.

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves.

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree).

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen.

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19.

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in).

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry.

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has.

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink.

#discourse #biphobia tw #transphobia tw #rape tw #ok goodbye im done with this im back to #only posting gay clown movie #Anonymous

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astrifica · 5 years

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Literally he tries to control everything Nd now it’s mainly when i sleep Nd if I lock my door. Got up at 3am just to check Nd see if I’m awake Nd bang on my door aggressively waking ppl up. He screams Nd controls everything Nd doesn’t care about me says he’d throw I me out I can’t lock the door now even tho that’s the on,y way I get privacy

anonymous asked: Hey! I was wondering if u or anos/ppl had any tips on how to stay up without abusers noticing? He woke up at 3am to “see if I was sleeping” and banged on my door Nd woke everyone up bc I locked my door and was awake. If he catches me again it won’t be good at all. He controls everything Nd I just want to be able to be safe in my room and hide and do fun things/work that I need to finish.

Hey! First of I want to quickly say I’m not sure if you sent anything before these two asks, as this is all I’ve received. So please feel free to resend anything else!

I’m really sorry you’re stuck in such an abusive situation, and I hope you’ll be able to get out of this sooner rather than later!

That being said, here are some tips I can think of at the moment from my own and others’ experiences:

✦ Try your best to figure out both spoken and unspoken rules on these things and make it appear as though you’re following them.

✦ Find out whether lights can be on (but I mostly suggest only using nightlights or keeping your curtains open if you have windows to use light from streetlights at best due to that being the most believable). If not, make sure to keep your lights off while staying awake except for a phone light or (silent) flashlight that you can hide or turn off easily and make sure to keep it from shining towards the door.

✦ Stay in bed as much as possible when you’re expected to be asleep so you can easily pretend to be asleep.

✦ If you do need to be out of bed, prepare your bed for quickly getting back into it when you hear them getting up in any way. Make sure to also prepare excuses as to why you’re awake (needing to go to the bathroom, grabbing something like a glass of water in your room, etc.) in case you don’t make it back to bed in time, and act sleepy to make it look like you were sleeping before.

✦ Try to lock your door as little as possible if it’s against their rules to lock it even if it’s scary, because their reaction to breaking a rule like that is often the worse option. It really depends on whether that’s worth the risk in some situations though. If you can’t lock it at all, then don’t close it fully either as this’ll make it more likely for them to get angry and check. Instead, leave it open slightly so they can see a gap but not far enough that they can see you easily (if possible that is). If you do need to have your door closed for some reason (getting undressed for example) don’t actually close it, instead just leave as little of a gap as possible (this’ll also allow you to quickly pull it open further if you hear them).

✦ Wear socks to bed or keep them close enough that you don’t need to get up for if you need to quickly get up (it’s the quietest option for walking).

✦ Learn to figure out exactly where in the house noises come from and train yourself to recognise certain noises as needing to pretend to be asleep (like a creaking spot).

✦ Learn to recognise their breathing sounds for when they’re asleep so you know when it’s safe to do what.

✦ Try to train yourself to recognise who’s steps are who’s if you live with multiple people.

✦ Stash things like food, water, medication, first aid supplies, and important items (phones, bank info, birth certificate, IDs etc) in your room in hidden spots so you need to leave your room as rarely as possible (make sure to change the hiding spots regularly especially if they search your room and take as much with you as you can when you’re not home and they are).

✦ If it’s unsafe to go to the bathroom, get a something like a plastic container with a lid and hide that along with toilet paper, wet wipes, a silent form of air freshener etc in your room, and empty it when it’s safe to do so.

✦ If necessary, silence it when you have to use the toilet by first putting a layer of toilet paper and doing your business overtop of that.

✦ Keep an emergency bag in place and think out a plan along with backup options for if things get out of hand and you do need to run away. Remember to make a list beforehand of all you’ll need and include most in the bag already but keep it hidden. If needed keep a weapon with it as well and make sure to keep your important items in places you can quickly get them from!

✦ Make a recording of yourself while you’re sleeping when they’re not present and mimic your breathing patterns etc when pretending to sleep. If impossible, ask someone you know sometimes in a way that seems unrelated about things like if you ever murmur/talk/snore in your sleep etc and maybe even how (example: “so the other day I found out that x talked in their sleep and they said something rlly silly!” pause and continue convo as normal “do I ever do anything like that in my sleep?” and continue from there on) or mimic it from videos of other people and general knowledge on it (like slowing your breathing).

✦ Keep most toiletries in your room so you can largely do morning/evening routines from your room.

✦ Keep your volume low and always wear earbuds but never wear two if you listen to things, keep the ear thats towards the door free to hear people coming.

✦ Think out how you’re going to hide things like your phone when you have to pretend to be asleep (under your mattress, under your clothes, in your pillowcase etc).

✦ Think out the position you’ll lay in when you have to pretend to be asleep, make sure not to make it too rigid and maybe let your blanket hang off you some to make it seem like you’ve been sleeping for longer.

✦ Do most activities from your bed or if you can’t, make it look like you’re tidying up or grabbing something so you can easily hide that you were doing anything.

✦ Disguise noises with other noises: if you have to open something or put something loud down, cough/make a sneezing noise overtop of it.

✦ Make sure to always wear clothes that at least look like sleeping clothes if you’re up when they don’t want you to.

There are all I can think of right now, but if anyone else has any more to add, please reblog this, add them in the replies, or send me an ask so I can add them to the post!

Additionally, here is a post with some general tips on surviving abuse!

I really wish there was more I could do to help but know that I’m sending lots of love your way and that if you ever need to vent or talk about these things my inbox and DMs are open! ♡

#anonymous #ask #advice #abuse tw #unsanitary tw #long post

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asexualzoro · 5 years

Text

so you want to make a twitter (part 2)

tweeting

i’ve seen a few guides on twitter for new twitter users, which is nice, but something about having the posts being things you had to finds on twitter--a new site for the people who needed those guides--seemed unhelpful to me. so, i figured id make a small series of guides of my own here for anyone considering a move (or just making an account) who dont know how

this is a series of posts, since im going to be sort of detailed, so feel free to use just the pieces you need. ill tag them all “lews twitter tutorials” so you can find them on my blog

this is written under the assumption that youve read part 1 of this mini guide series, and dont know anything about twitter or any other social media site but tumblr

ill put it under a cut to save your space, but here’s the most important feature of twitter: tweeting!

so, tweeting. this is something you obviously have to know how to do. this is how to make a tweet, differences between tumblr and twitter, and how to interact with a tweet

so, making one! when you make a new tweet on mobile, the screen looks like this

(the icons are p much the same whether you use mobile or desktop, so it doesnt matter which i use)

first, the tweet itself! tweets can only be up to 280 characters, and cant be edited once you post them. theres no feature to bold, italicize, underline, or add linked text in twitter, so its not as good as tumblr for stuff like that, unfortunately.

here’s what the icons at the bottom do, from left to right

- pictures! this is sort of straightforward: it lets you add pictures. a tweet can only contain either 4 pictures, 1 gif, or 1 video. you cant have a gif and a picture, or a picture and a video.

a note for artists! twitter is known to compress image quality when images are uploaded, BUT there is a workaround! if you have even one single transparent pixel, your image wont be compressed.

a note for everyone! you can enable image transcription captions in settings (Settings > Accessibility > compose image descriptions). this allows you to type a short image description to any image you post, if you choose to. it’s a feature i recommend you have on and try to use for your followers who might have worse vision!

- gif keyboard! this image is a search for reaction gifs, basically. i almost never use it bc i can usually never find the specific gif im looking for...

- polls! tis is a feature i like about twitter! it allows you to conduct anonymous polls with up to four options. you can set a time limit and leave it up to allow people to respond. settle arguments between you and your friends or get opinions!

you cant post an image and a poll in the same tweet, so if you want opinions on something in an image, just have the poll be a reply to your tweet

- location! you can add your current location to any tweet. ive had this disabled for so long i genuinely dont know like... anything about this.

listen, im trying my best

- the little circle at the bottom which is grey with a dot of blue is the character counter. the circle is grey when empty, and gets bluer as you tweet. it wont count out how many characters you have left until youre within 20 of being full, in which case itll let you know so you dont go over the limit.

- finally, theres the + icon, which is for making threads. it lets you edit multiple tweets at once, connected in a string. threads are helpful for a lot of reasons!

if you have information to share, then put it together in a thread! if one tweet in a thread is retweeted, it’s marked as being part of a thread. this will encourage readers to look at the rest!

if you like to livetweet series, put it in a thread! this allows you to keep all your livetweets in one place, and also allows people following you to mute the thread if they arent interested

- i also know on mobile if you close out with the X, you can save a tweet to drafts to edit and post later. i dont know if you can do this on desktop because i never use desktop, and when i have, i couldnt ever find the drafts thing. i know if you delete the app, all your drafts are deleted, too

WELL, now that youve got the basics on a tweet....

interacting with the tweets of others

okay, heres a bit on what buttons do what, and some Twitter Manners

here’s our sample tweet, posted. this isnt how it appears on the timeline, but how it appears once you click it, so i can show the full range of things you can do with a tweet.

you can see the tweet, who posted it, and the date/time, and other stuff

- profile. top left. if you click the icon/display name/handle of the op, you can go to their profile!

- menu. see the little arrow in the top right corner? thats a menu.

on your own tweet, you can delete the tweet here, pin it to your profile, or mute it. muting a tweet means you no longer get notifications when someone interacts with it

on someone else’s tweet, you can follow or unfollow the op of the tweet, mute the op, block the op, or report the tweet

in the bottom row....

- theres tweet activity. it only shows up on your own tweet, and lets you see how many people have seen your tweet.

- below this would tell you how many likes and retweets your tweet got, but no one liked or retweeted my wonderful tweet for some strange reason, so i cant show you

worth noting, if your account is on private, you wont show up in the notifications of people who arent following you

now for the buttons

- the speech bubble is replies! that lets you repy to the tweet

worth saying, if you reply to a retweet or conversation, its important to be sure to un-@ the people who you arent talking to. when you reply to someone, at the top of the reply it will list everyone youre replying to. click the little names and unclick the check boxes by the names of those not involved, and youre good to go! not doing this is considered rude/annoying

- next, retweeting! retweeting is sort of like reblogging. you retweet another tweet so it shows up on your own account. you can retweet without comment, which brings the tweet as is, or with comment, which allows you to add your own sort of caption. the op of the tweet will nto be notified for any replies, likes, or retweets on a comment retweet

a note! people often do retweets with comments on stuff like news stories to add their own commentary/jokes

another note! DO NOT do this to art by artists, even if youre doing it to be nice! a lot of artists, especially international artists, find this incredibly rude, as it takes away attention and retweets from the art itself. if you want to share art, just retweet. if you want to say something nice, just tell them in replies!

its not uncommon for people to retweet something without comment, then make a tweet of their own to comment on them.these tweets generally start with LRT (last retweet)

- likes are pretty simple. you press the like button and you like the post. one thing thats different from tumblr to twitter, though, is twitter has a feature that shows your likes (and that you liked them) to your followers (if they havent disabled it).

- the share button allows you to share tweets! you can DM them to your friends, bookmark them (this is good for articles and such), or copy the link to share elsewhere.

and... that concludes tweeting!

#twitter #lews twitter tutorials

4 notes · View notes

missjackil · 2 years

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I posted 576 times in 2021

226 posts created (39%)

350 posts reblogged (61%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.5 posts.

I added 526 tags in 2021

#sam and dean - 98 posts

#sam winchester - 90 posts

#spn - 83 posts

#dean winchester - 79 posts

#sam and dean forever - 50 posts

#supernatural - 49 posts

#spn finale - 21 posts

#jensen ackles - 19 posts

#j2 - 19 posts

#jared padalecki - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 61 characters

#would have loved for cass to have burned through the meatsuit

My Top Posts in 2021

"I love you so much... my baby brother"

It seems everyone is all wrapped up in "my baby brother" which is a sweet addition indeed, but I can't get over "I love you so much"

Dean loves people, he's told Mom and Dad he loves them, but Sam, he loves "so much" like more than anyone or anything, and WE know this, but Dean confessed it, and Sam heard him. And it was just for Sam and no one else. No "I love all of you" no other name is even brought up. Dean can't even fathom what he would do if he didn't have Sam. That " I love you so much" is everything, all 37 years and 15 seasons summed up in 5 words.

93 notes • Posted 2021-04-07 15:20:59 GMT

A friend of mine at work decided to start watching SPN. She wants to see for herself why these boys mean so much to me. I promised not to spoil her, and only half way through s1, she has theories and observations and it really makes me happy! She told me her theories and even though they're very wrong, i smiled because it was so much fun for me trying to figure everything out.

She asked me how i handled the end, a d i told her i was a mess. I sobbed for 2 hours straight, couldn't really function for days after, and now, 1 year later, I'm still mourning like the loss of a loved one.

Then she asked me if it was a good ending at least, unlike with Lost or GOT and i thought for a moment and said "It was perfect. It wasnt what i wanted, it wasnt what i feared, but it was what i didn't know i needed"

Sure, I sit sometimes thinking i would have done this ir that differently, but now i don't think Id change anything. Not with Carry On anyway, there's plenty with other episodes and character ends i would, but not the end of Sam and Dean's story.

Has there ever been a stronger, more true love in literature than the one between Sam and Dean?

I can't think of any.

Even in their times of bitter anger, when they felt like maybe they hated each other, it felt like "I hate you so much right now because I love you even more and it hurts!"

What does Carry On mean to me? I don't know...you tell me.

106 notes • Posted 2021-11-15 15:06:43 GMT

So I’m trying not to think about Dean pacing outside Sam’s door, trying to work up the nerve to approach him. He may have put his finger on the doorbell, but pulled back. “What if he tells me to get lost?”

But then I think about Sam, when he aced his LSATs and almost dialed Dean’s number 100 times. “What if he just doesn’t care anymore?”

And then I wonder, how many times each of them said a small prayer everytime their phones rang “Please be him” or answered random “unknown callers” just in case.

Did Dean ever write out a postcard to send Sam when he was at a location he knew Sam would like? Or did Sam ever sit through a movie he hated just because he knew Dean would love it , and for a moment they would feel close to each other again?

Did Dean ever look at a picture of the 2 of them and whisper “I didn’t mean to chase you away” or did Sam ever look at a picture and whisper “I didn’t want to leave you”

Then I imagine Dean driving around Stanford just to catch a glimpse of his brother and make sure he’s okay. And Sam feeling his heart skip a beat everytime he saw an old black car, and then break a little more when it wasn’t Dean.

“I could just call him” they woud both say on their Birthdays, Christmas, and any time the nights were too dark and the air felt empty around them. Did they ever look up at the stars and wonder if the other was looking too?

I wonder how their hearts felt that moment they were finally in each other’s space again. Dean’s smile, Sam’s breathlessness. I wonder, did they not hug each other for fear the other would feel their heart pounding out of their chest?

I try not to think of these things..... but all too often I fail miserably. 💔😭

123 notes • Posted 2021-02-16 20:00:00 GMT

🎉🎈Winchester 8th Anniversary Celebration Info!!💕💖

Hey Y’all! I am so happy I got such a HUGE response from people who would like to be part of this!!

On 8/23/21 everyone who loves Sam and Dean’s on screen “marriage” is invited to attend this 8 day celebration!! 8x23 Sacrifice is commonly referred to as the Winchester Wedding, when they committed to each other in a Church in front of a witness (Crowley) and the brother’s dynamic changed from there.

This wont be strictly Wincest, we will celebrate their canon relationship too, so if Wincest isn’t quite your jam, you wont be left out! I will simply ask that any sexual posts, use appropriate tags in addition to the event tag #Mr & Mr Winchester 8th. More info and Q&A under the cut....

This event will focus on Sam and Dean’s late seasons (s8 and up) relationship when they actually lived like a married couple. I have often said they are each others spouces in every important way. They choose to live together, share responsibilities, share chores and finances, cook for each other, confide in each other, they co-parent Jack, they’ve stopped leaving each other (after s10) depend on each other for everything and above all, love each other so deeply even death can’t separate them (Death tried to and Dean killed him lol) For better or worse, sickness and health, poverty or wealth, good times and bad, they stick together. They are canon soulmates!

Q&A

Who is invited to this event?

Anyone who loves the Winchesters and wants to celebrate their epic bromance!

Why 8/28 and not the date Sacrifice aired?

Sacrifice aired in May 2013 and is a great date but it seems a little too soon for all you creative geniuses to write/draw/paint or whatever you do, to create something special. Also, it’s the 8th anniversary, of season 8 so having it in the 8th month for 8 days sounds good!

I’m not very creative, how can I contribute?

Don’t worry, there will be a list of ways to contribute. Even if you don’t contribute anything, you can enjoy the creations and festivities and maybe reblog your favorites!

The event will begin on Aug 23rd and last 8 days. Gifts you can bring are:

Original fics, drabbles and ficlets focused during Season 8 and beyond. (no weecest or underage romance at all please)

Original art work or manips

“What Wincest means to me”

Songs that remind you of Sam and Dean

Your favorite “married” moments

Your favorite late season episodes

Personal headcanons about their married life

“Pot Luck Dinner” Bring a dish and explain why you chose it.

Headcanons or Fic about Sam and Dean’s life between 15x19 and 15x20

Recommend your favorite late season domestic fic

Sam and Dean will share an anniversary dance. Post a youtube of the song you pick for them

Pick any other Supernatural character and share what they would tell Sam and Dean on their anniversary

You can do as many or as few as you want and even give me suggestions for what you would like to see. Stay tuned for updates and reminders!! I can’t wait!

131 notes • Posted 2021-03-20 21:19:34 GMT

Will ANY of us ever get over “I love you so much... my baby brother” and the forehead touch? I know I wont. Don’t touch me.

145 notes • Posted 2021-01-23 06:05:56 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

0 notes

squirenonny · 6 years

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Clone Shiro Theory in Season 5

Okay, so this mess was inspired by talking with several people on Tumblr and discord about the Clone Shiro Theory in the wake of Season 5, as well as seeing posts in the fandom tags. And...I’ve noticed some common themes in arguments against this theory.

Please note that this is not meant to be a direct rebuttal to anyone, more... working out for myself why I’m so convinced that Shiro is a clone because I’ve got all these nebulous thoughts running around in my head and I need to organize them somehow. So feel free to read, respond, reblog, ect, but also feel free to ignore this completely if Clone Shiro isn’t your thing.

Season 5 spoilers and a very long post under the cut.

I’m going to break this down into three parts:

I. Why a clone and not something else (mind control, magical spyware, ect)

II. Why I won’t accept anything but clones at this point without crying foul

III. Clone Shiro vs Galra Keith

I. Why a clone?

I think at this point there’s no way to deny that something happened to Shiro in Operation Kuron. We’ve seen Haggar spying through him, the headaches are a recurring theme, and his behavior has changed to the point that he’s going behind his team’s back and lashing out at the team in ways he hasn’t before.

With most of the proof, you can make several arguments. Haggar’s mind-controlling him directly, but he still is Shiro. Haggar’s spyware is giving him headaches that’s making him more testy than usual, but he’s still acting under his own free will. Ect. But I think there is enough evidence to give the clone theory specifically an edge over other explanations.

Shiro’s hair grew roughly a foot during his captivity between seasons 2 and 3. There’s no clear answer on how long this was, but it seems like a fairly short time period. At the start of the season, Keith is still raw over Shiro’s disappearance, and though they’ve done a few missions without Shiro, they haven’t run up against anything that required Voltron. Which... considering how often they form Voltron both before and after this period, suggest to me that we’re talking a time frame of weeks at the longest. Then episodes 1-3 happen in pretty quick succession, with the lion switch and Keith immediately charging off, almost out of spite. We pick up with Shiro a day or two before episode 3 (which is where Shiro finds Voltron and then loses them.) He spends another week chasing them before Keith and Black find him. All told, this is probably in the realm of one month since his disappearance, maybe two. For reference, human hair grows on average half an inch per month. Shiro is shown to have significantly more hair growth in this time frame than anyone else gets in the entire series--even people who have been prisoners for extended amounts of time. Matt and Sam each get maybe a few inches, and Shiro’s hair was kept short during his stint in the Arena. This tells me that Shiro’s hair growth for The Journey is not an artist’s exaggeration to show that he’s had it rough. If it is, then it’s sloppy, and the animators on this show are typically pretty attentive to detail. If this is intentional, I can only conclude that Shiro has been in captivity for far longer than the timeline allows and/or the clone was grown in a short time and the accelerated growth also affected his hair.

Calling attention to the difference between Shiro(s1-2) and Shiro(s3+). These, I’ll admit, are more suspicious than damning, but they’re worth mentioning. The animators made a deliberate decision to give Shiro a new look after his return. We’ve seen people in different outfits, and Allura has a few different hairstyles (up, down, mice poofs), but no one has changed their “default” outfit like Shiro has, only their armor or other special outfits (pajamas, swimsuits, ect), and no one has gotten a new haircut, except Pidge (in backstory, as a plot point) and Sam and Matt (compare to Shiro on the Kerberos mission vs post-escape in s1.) They want you to be able to tell the difference between Shiro 1 and Shiro 2. At the same time, they call attention to this change by having Shiro comment about his “weird headache.” The writers also made a point of having the Galra refer to Shiro differently in the context of Operation Kuron (Subject Y0XT39 vs Prisoner 117-9875.) From a writing standpoint, this is a strange choice--not necessarily significant, but likely so because both designations are mentioned in passing and without context, so tossing both out there without reason is more confusing than world-building. And in-universe, it tells us that the people in charge of Operation Kuron couldn’t or didn’t want to refer to prisoners by their already-assigned number. Possibly this is for internal organization--i.e. if not all subjects were prisoners or if they had completely random prisoner numbers. But if it is clones, they would need new ways to identify them, since they’d all have the same prisoner ID. Again, not proof, but suspicious.

Shiro appeared in the Voltron bond. And it seems as though the Shiro with the team didn’t. Not just his head is fuzzy about it. He wasn’t there. Did you notice how Shiro-in-the-bond was translucent, only seen from a distance, and almost completely lacking in detail in the head area? Maybe to obscure the fact that he has his old haircut (both from us and from Lance)? Did you notice that he didn’t appear with everyone else, and how desperate he was to communicate with his team? There are two Shiros. The only question is whether the distinction is physical (clones) or mental (mind control with the real Shiro’s mind completely suppressed by Haggar’s persona)

Following up on this point, Shiro himself is questioning things. If this was a case of mind control, of Haggar taking over Shiro’s body, there is no way she would allow her puppet to question his own identity. If she has direct control, she certainly wouldn’t mention it to Lance, and if the real Shiro is still in there waiting to take his body back, she absolutely would put safeguards in to make sure her controlled personality stays in place.

And of course, the single biggest argument in favor of Clone Shiro: Operation Kuron = literally, “Operation Clone.” This can’t be a coincidence. It can’t. With everyone working on the show (how many of whom are anime fans and have at least a rudimentary familiarity with Japanese pronunciation?), and with Lauren Montgomery having talked about how Laith is a much better ship name for Keith and Lance, because Laith means Lion, I do not believe that they accidentally chose a name for this major plot point that means “clone” in Japanese (which is either Shiro’s native language or at least connected to his heritage.) I also don’t believe that it was chosen as a red herring to make us think this is all about clones when it really isn’t, because the target audience (which is, what 8-12 year olds?) will not pick up on that hint. It fails as a distraction for the core demographic, which makes me think it’s far more likely that it was meant as an easter egg and the writers didn’t necessarily intend for people to pick up on it. It’s like... This post about English name symbolism in FMA. It’s a clever nod to character traits for people who are in the know, but then you give that same name to an English speaker and it’s almost laughably on the nose. For people who don’t speak Japanese (most of Voltron’s audience) and don’t have social media to point it out (unfortunately, comparatively little of the fanbase), “Operation Kuron” is a subtle nod. In a novel, where people likely won’t engage with the fandom until they’re finished, it would work. Hell, for people not actively engaged in fandom, it works. The problem is that we’ve had months upon months and the power of the internet, so now everyone knows that JK Rowling named her werewolf Wolfy McWolfenstein the Galra named their secret clone project Project Clone. That isn’t bad writing. It’s perfectly fine writing tossed to the wolves of a global fandom that loves to theorize.

(Also, I was curious, so I checked, and “Operation Kuron” is called the same thing in the Japanese dub, so lol if it’s not clones, Dreamworks is going to have some explaining to do.)

II. Why having the answer be “Not Clones” at this point would be bad writing

Okay, see, this is way more subjective than part I, which was already pretty subjective. But here’s the thing. Dreamworks has set up Clone Shiro, almost blatantly so. I can forgive the fact that this twist is obvious to the Tumblr fandom, at least, because (a) the show is for kids, so the foreshadowing has to be a little bit more obvious, and (b) you cannot judge subtlety based on thousands of people working together to figure things out. Most of the fandom figured out Galra Keith before season 2 dropped. Some people hated it, but then, some people were incredibly resistant to the Clone Shiro Theory--still are. It feels like everyone and their grandmother figured these twists out way in advance, but if you took away the part where we all screamed about it and laid out our arguments? If you somehow reached out to the viewers who aren’t involved in fandom? I’ll bet you good money that a lot fewer of them have picked up on the hints. (And if they have, they aren’t nearly as certain about it.)

But if we get to season 6 and suddenly find out Shiro has been Shiro all along, just with magic in his head letting Haggar watch him? I’m going to be disappointed, because that resolution is almost guaranteed to leave plot holes. How did Shiro get recaptured/how did he disappear from the Black Lion in the first place? Why did his hair grow so fast? What’s with the change in behavior (I’m not talking about the snappishness and arguing with Keith and Lance, I’m talking about directly undermining the very teamwork he’s been the single biggest proponent of from the start by going behind the team’s back again and again)? Why didn’t Black accept him at first? Why did he have to prove himself to her again, after they’d been more closely bonded than anyone? Why was the project named Operation Kuron? Why did Shiro see another, hollow-looking, him on the exam table in that flashback? Why hasn’t he used the bayard yet?

The show might explicitly answer some of these, but I think we all know by now that it won’t slow the pace long enough to explain all of them. The clone theory explains or implies answers to almost all of these (especially if you couple it with “the original Shiro is stuck in the astral plane” or some such.)

So, no. Clone Shiro isn’t a twist at this point. Maybe it’s just me, because I’m usually pretty good at picking up on foreshadowing and figure out most twists ahead of time, especially if I’m given time to ruminate. But I’m fine with not having big, shocking reveals. Something doesn’t have to be a surprise to be interesting. I don’t have to feel like I was clever for figuring it out. I can’t wait for season 6 because I’m desperate to know that both my sons (Shiro and Ryou) are going to be okay--because I think, at least, that the Shiro with the team right now is not being set up as a villain. He may become a martyr, but he’s meant to be sympathetic, regardless of where he came from.

In the end, I don’t mind that the Clone Shiro Theory seems obvious, because the foreshadowing is aimed at kids and the adult fandom is bound to pick up on those hints faster. And clones explain everything so well that I honestly don’t think any other answer would make for a satisfying conclusion to the Kuron arc.

III. Clone Shiro vs Galra Keith

Okay, now this is interesting, because these are the two main theories that the fandom swarmed. One turned out to be true, and I honestly think the other will be proven right in June.

Also interesting is that, in terms of episode count, they both are paced about the same. It’s just that the Galra Keith plot happened over the course of 1.5 full seasons, while the Operation Kuron plot is going on 3.5 half seasons. Same number of episodes, but more spread out and with more breaks in between. Galra Keith was dropped into a single seven-month gap with a growing fandom and then confirmed immediately with the next batch of episodes. Operation Kuron was introduced in August, fans jumped on it, season 4 dropped, the fandom was split on it (because, admittedly, s4 didn’t add anything to the argument that couldn’t be explained by trauma and/or mounting pressure on Shiro), fans wrote a shitton of Ryou hcs/fic and drew a lot of Ryou art, season 5 dropped, with major new developments but no confirmation, and now we’ve got another break. At the earliest, it will be confirmed or debunked in June, a full ten months after it was first hinted, and with three season breaks for people to theorize, create fanworks, and otherwise dig into Camp Clone.

Can you imagine if the first two seasons had been done like that? (Note: I know I’m fudging the midpoint of season 1 a little bit, but bear with me here. I want to do a thought experiment.)

Season 1: We get hints of Keith’s knife and the major red flag of Keith opening doors that have been implied to be species-locked, so Hunk has to use a Galra arm to get past one door in the same episode Keith uses Galra tech with no problems. There’s also the word of god that says Keith is an orphan, so speculation runs wild. The fandom is split, with a small but vocal group on Team Galra, a vocal opposition, and a whole bunch of people on Team “Can’t we just wait and see what the writers have in mind, guys? We don’t have to fight!”

Season “2″: Little movement on Galra Keith Theory specifically, and both sides have arguments for what little we do get. Are those purple patches the effect of Galra heritage or is that supposed to tell us Quintessence does freaky things? Does Zarkon’s, “You fight like a Galra soldier,” mean anything (and is there a comma there/does that change the meaning? I can only imagine the comma drama if that had been one of the only new points for debate after three months.) The only major development is explicit confirmation of the species lock on Galra tech. All this is exacerbated by growing concerns in the autistic fanbase who worry that Team Galra Keith is starting to twist the legitimate autistic traits to support their own theory. (Believe me, I was there, and I was scared of Galra Keith for a good long while because of this.) The debate starts to turn bitter.

Season “3″: Ulaz shows up, we see Keith’s knife, we have Keith worrying that Zarkon “imprinted” on him, and though nothing comes of that, it still says something that the writers are even willing to acknowledge the theory. The season ends with no clear answer, but by now most of the fandom is on Team Galra. There’s been fic. There’s been art. There are headcanons and metas galore. The evidence is all laid out, and there’s really no denying it at this point. Some people are angry about it, and lots of people are hoping for Altean Keith or something, just because it would still be a surprise.

Season “4″: The Galra Keith reveal happens in episode one or two, and literally no one is shocked. Some people are angry, everyone is pissed that there wasn’t more fallout after four seasons of buildup. But we all knew it was coming.

Think, in contrast, how the Clone Shiro Theory might have gone if we hadn’t switched to half seasons. (In a hypothetical world where the theory is true, and it’s getting revealed next season.)

Season 3 now covers everything through Naxzela. Operation Kuron is huge in fandom discussion, but it’s partially overshadowed by everything else that happened--Keith joining the Blade, Lotor’s offer of talks, Keith’s near sacrifice, Matt’s return... Fewer people are as adamant about the clone theory because we’ve already seen Shiro back in the Black Lion and fighting alongside the team. There are lingering doubts, and people still lay out all their arguments, but it’s less splitting hairs and more the broad range we saw with Galra Keith, from adamant arguments on either side to a broad, casual fanbase in the middle who doesn’t know if it’s gonna happen and honestly couldn’t care less but sure as hell likes to play around with the idea. Like with Galra Keith, there is some evidence that’s either straight-up confirmation or lazy writing (Keith opening doors vs kuron meaning clone) but for the most part people are still uncertain.

Season “4″ drops and hits us all hard with new evidence. People are getting behind the Clone Shiro Theory in earnest now, but somewhere near the end of the season it’s confirmed, forestalling another round of theorizing. Lots of people are caught off-guard, lots of people are edge-of-their-seats “Holy crap, is that actually true??” The major, irrefutable pieces of evidence (Ulaz, Keith’s knife, his nightmares vs Shiro lying to the team, Haggar’s spying, Shiro calling out to Lance in the bond) are immediately followed up by confirmation.

Can you see how the spacing of the episodes drastically changes the perception of the theory? In all honesty, Galra Keith and Clone Shiro feel extraordinarily similar in terms of pacing, evidence, and alternate explanations--it’s just that Keith’s story happened much quicker, in fandom time. I can’t fault the writers for that. I just think half seasons were a bad idea, especially when the show was clearly written with full seasons in mind.

TL;DR Version:

There’s enough evidence that specifically points to clones that I’m 99% convinced that Shiro is a clone at this point. That last 1% is reserved for skepticism because, while I don’t believe the writers could provide me with a different explanation that fits as well as clones, they might try in the name of pulling one over on the viewers.

Galra Keith and Clone Shiro are set up in a very similar manner, and the latter suffers primarily from half season releases and a fandom who knows what tricks to look for.

The fact that the show is geared at a younger audience and so isn’t going to be super subtle is not a mark against it, but unfortunately if you’re active in the fandom, there’s a good chance you’re going to see a solid argument re: upcoming plot twists that spoils the surprise.

#voltron #voltron season 5 #operation kuron #shiro #kuron #voltron meta #voltron spoilers #season 5 spoilers

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ijustliketolikethings · 6 years

Conversation

A movie come true pt. 1

This is for the wonderful @slutforpennywise because they are going to make a Christmas snow day fic and i told them id try my hand at a fic because they mean soooooo much to me. Sorry if spelling if bad or the flow of story is awful... This is literally my first thing ive ever written in my whole life. Im so tired i couldn't finished it but i will this weekend, I super promise. I love you btw

“And send.” You said aloud to yourself as you pressed the right side of your mouse. Away the post went to your social media blog. You smirked a bit, content and happy with the thought of all the friends you’ve made over the internet through this blog. Who knew that a seemingly small movie would bring so many people together from so many different back rounds and so many odd and different kinks together to share and relate to one other? You could almost feel your heart swell as you felt all the love come through your little computer screen so quick after posting. Hearts and reblogs immediately flooding your inbox. Who knew you could relate to others who shared the same desires and feelings toward a crazy clown alien as you? Since you were alone in your room, you decided to be a bit dramatic. You kicked your legs away from your computer desk, spinning around in your chair with your legs kicked out in front of you. “Oh Penny~” You said in a mocking lustful tone. “Fuck me Pennywise~ I need your crazy clown clock~” You stuck your tongue out in a fake orgasmic face way groaning loudly and rolling your eyes. Your hand dragged from your neck down through the space between your breasts and stopped at the edge of your knee. You stifled a giggle and got up, spinning around as if you were dancing to some waltz. Your extra long pj bottoms drug along the wood floor of your room as you danced with the air. “Oh Penny you feel so good~” You said still in that mocking tone of voice. You stopped, both your hands came up and grabbed your breasts, squeezing them together. You bent over, pretending Pennywise was actually in front of you. “Like what you see big boy?” You said with a wink and your tongue running along your upper lip. You couldn’t help it now and laughed aloud to yourself. You dropped your hands, stood up and sighed. All playfulness aside, you were touch starved and felt yourself going crazy for someone’s hands to be dragged along your skin. You hadn’t been with anyone in a while and all these ideas of Pennywise you were thinking of got your neither reigns fired up. You needed a shower. That would help you wind down for bed.

The water felt amazing and you were finally starting to get tierd after about 10 minutes in the shower. You usually took really long showers, but tonight it seemed sleep was coming quicker then you expected. You grabbed your shampoo bottle and squeezed a little in your hand. With eyes shut, you begin to work it into your hair. Hearing the bubbles pop and the sound of your hair scrapping against your scalp was always so calming. You set out a soft sigh in total bliss and content for the moment when you heard something outside your bathroom fall to the ground with a very loud thud. You stopped all movements and just listened. You dropped your hands from your scalp and peeled your curtain to the side very quietly and slowly. It felt like your heart was going to pop out of your chest. You have a wave of fear rush over you. You stared at your bathroom door, your imagination going crazy thinking of a million different things it could be. Home Invaders? Burglers? Monsters? What an awful time to be broken into. You stood quietly in the shower for another 5 minutes, waiting to hear something else before you put your imagination to the side, and rinsed out your hair. You finished your shower quickly and got out, wrapping a towel around your body tightly. From behind your toilet, you grabbed your emergency gun. You had years and years of practice at ranges, you knew how to use this thing almost too well. With it in hand, you opened your bathroom door slowly, to see your dim lit hallway out in front of you. You didn’t see anything on the floor, so you slowly made your way to your bedroom, flicking the safety off quietly just in case. Your room door was open wide like you’d left it and was bright from your over head light when you got to it, everything seeming to be in the ordinary. After a sweep of the rest of your home you figured it was just the floor boards you heard making noises. The house was pretty old, you thought to yourself, smiling a bit to your over reaction. You put your weapon back in your bathroom and went to your dresser to put some underwear on.

A big yawn escaped your lips as you began finding the perfect pair to sleep comfortably in. Suddenly, it sounded like something was rubbing against your bed sheets, like it was swishing toward you. You gasped and quickly turned around, just to see nothing on top of your bed. Your heart went from 0 to 100. You were hearing things now. Maybe all you were hearing was your heart in your ears. You were really tired and needed sleep. Now. You turn back to your dresser, grab a pair of boxer cut silk underwear, drop your towel and put them on. You moved quickly to turn your light off and crawled into bed, throwing the covers over your head. Sleep sleep sleep, you told yourself over and over again. You were starting to get a little scared. What was causing these noises? Were those fan fictions actually starting to get to you? Was something in your house? Was someone? These thoughts ran through your mind in only a split second before you suddenly heard another creak, this time it coming form the edge of your bed. You flung the covers off you in a huff, ready to face and fight whoever was causing you to have such a scare. What you saw made you rethink your whole reality. You blinked a few times, unsure of what you were seeing was really what was there. It was him. The fucking clown. Pennywise. The one from the newest movie. The one on most of your internet blog. The one who ruined most your underwear at night. The one who you day dreamed about on a daily basis. He was seriously at the end of your bed, staring straight into what seemed like your soul with his fiery orange and yellow speckled eyes. He just stood there. Hands behind his back glaring down at you on your bed. “Hello there little one.” He said in a very excited voice. Just like he sounded in the sewers with Georgie at the beginning of the movie. “I’m here to play… Would you like that? I bet you would…” he said in a slightly lower tone of voice. A red balloon suddenly materialized beside him, by which he grabbed the gray string and held it toward you. “Here… Take. It.” He said slowly, a bit of his drool falling from his lips onto your bed sheets.

#@slutforpennywise

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knightofbalance-13 · 7 years

Text

http://pageoflore.tumblr.com/post/164086228192/continued-from-this-post-knightofbalance-13

@pageoflore

Well, you told me to be brief, I shall be brief.

PS. I’m doing this on my own post so the OP can’t delete my reblog.

1. It doesnâ€™t matter if op was â€œmeanâ€ about the headcanon, it doesnâ€™t diminish the fact that you brought up blatant transphobic points, such as implying that queer headcanons cause people to become â€œdependentâ€ and prone to lashing out. Youâ€™ve mentioned these points multiple times when dealing with people with queer headcanons. The fact that youâ€™re unwilling to acknowledge that queer people get ticked off at other fans because of their queerphobia, that their anger is perfectly understandable and provoked, doesnâ€™t mean that itâ€™s not true.

Hey, hereâ€™s some facts on trans representation in media:

http://pacificcenter.org/trans-representation-in-the-media

2. Heterophobia does not exist in the same way that homophobia does. Heterophobia is born out of actual fear of getting murdered and homophobia is when bigots hate and want to diminish queer folks. When there have been hundreds of years of The Straights being murdered, experimented on, sexually assaulted, and socially outcast purely because of who they love, then you can fucking get back to me you little shit.

Compulsory homosexuality also isnâ€™t a fucking thing that actually exists, while compulsory heterosexuality is well established https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_heterosexuality

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/compulsory-heterosexuality - for the exact same reasons. Nobody is gonna arrest you for not shipping gay ships, even if youâ€™ve let your alt-right buddies brainwash you into thinking so.

3. The post not only humanizes a man who is the face of genocide, but it implies that everyone has the capacity for the amount of hatred and cruelty needed to orchestrate the extermination of an entire ethnic minority. By agreeing with that post, youâ€™re diminishing the horror that Hitler and his men committed.

4. If you actually read your sources you would know theyâ€™re alt-right - Breitbart in particular has been in the news lately because Bannon was advising the president for a time. So either you did read them and knew damn well what they were or you were pulling any random source that would support your points, which makes you the liar here, bud. Btw, hereâ€™s another time you pulled from alt right/far right sources to prove your point. Showing that you continue to be biased

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/163935557185/httpssokumotanakatumblrcompost163928898054r#notes

5. Assuming that any queer people that have lgbt head canons are inherently more likely to react violently is aggressively queerphobic. Like do I even have to explain why calling people with trans headcanons delusional and unstable is fucking awful? I will, by equating trans headcanons with instability and mental illness, youâ€™re being transphobic

6. Humor that punches down, which youâ€™ve defended, is shown through studies to be a gateway for other oppressive acts, and humor in general is used to define social groups and point out â€œoutcastsâ€ that make the group more cohesive. By defending stereotyping humor, youâ€™re saying that censorship is more terrible than racism.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/humor-sapiens/201107/does-racist-humor-promote-racism

http://sjwiki.org/images/8/88/Racism_pyramid.png

http://news.jrn.msu.edu/bullying/2012/03/27/a-new-bullying-social-exclusion/

7. Links can be deleted, but sure, Iâ€™ll add links

(Compulsory Heterosexuality)

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/163995358715/that-kawoshin-evageek-knightofbalance-13#notes

(Transphobic statements)

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/163977205610/hey-dude-i-know-that-with-the-trans-danny-phantom#notes

(The original Danny Phantom post)

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/163969249240/cryptid-milk-queer-aviculor-plasmas-king#notes

(The defending stereotype humor post)

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/163960564185/celticpyro-offensive-humor-plays-on-stereotypes#notes

As for why Iâ€™m specifically addressing your posting history and political alignment, itâ€™s because I want to be quite clear on the fact that I donâ€™t detest you arbitrarily or because you have â€œdifferent opinions~â€. Youâ€™ve repeatedly shown yourself to be a bigot with no intention of allowing others to educate you on things outside your scope of reference. Thatâ€™s why no one who is actually familiar with your behavior can stand you, unless theyâ€™re also already steeped in this bullshit.

So now that we have that out of the way, let us continue with this fuckery.

2. Youâ€™ve shown far more tendency to stalk, belittle, humiliate, and attempt to control others than anyone - in the rwde tag or otherwise. Iâ€™ve personally witnessed you attack people over minor phrasing or opinions different from yours, completely unprovoked and out of the blue. Admittedly members of the RWDE tag can be abrasive in their opinions, but generally speaking they stick to the tag and donâ€™t really go out of their way to bother people unless theyâ€™re being shitheads. Case in point, tbh.

Also you have admitted yourself to creating sideblogs in order to circumvent people block you, in order to bait people into agreeing with sockpuppets spewing suicide-baiting behavior, and in order to have arguments with yourself. Which I guess is necessary since you couldnâ€™t argue your way out of a paper bag.

Hereâ€™s links to your alt accounts, btw:

https://rwbyfan18.tumblr.com/post/158649725205/checkmate

https://shadecritic.tumblr.com/post/158838072733/technoskittles-knightofbalance-13#notes

https://shadecritic2.tumblr.com/post/158857532333/rwbycriticism-i-cannot-risk-making-a-tai-post-in#notes

https://shadecritic3.tumblr.com/post/158646451814/corn-on-the-kob-sounds-like-hes-just-starving-for#notes

4. As a final comment, not everyone who disagrees with me is a bigot! However you personally? Youâ€™re an asshole, and you have absolutely no sense of nuance. You have zero grasp of what it means to belong to a minority, which is ironic as fuck considering how much you love using your autism as a shield while at the same time implying that othersâ€™ mental health makes them unreliable and dangerous.

â€œRWDEâ€ as a tag is not moderated or controlled by anyone, and though most regulars take care to call people out when theyâ€™re assholes, thereâ€™s nothing we can do if people choose to use the tag. You, on the other hand, have full control over who you follow and what you choose to reblog. This is just a thought, a suggestion, but maybe fucking look closer to home and start knighting on yourself before you try preaching to anyone else you little shit.

Oh and just in case anyone is confused about whether or not youâ€™re a huge piece of shit, hereâ€™s you talking about pedophilia with your usual charm, grace, and sense of morality.

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/164081508615/darkvioletcloud-rwbycrit-riproarrude#notes

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/164077458930/mageknight14-takashi0-darkvioletcloud#notes

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/164076260355/mageknight14-darkvioletcloud-rwbycrit#notes

Hereâ€™s how fiction, media, and fandom impacts us in reality

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/feb/14/fictional-characters-make-existential-crossings-into-real-life-study-finds?CMP=share_btn_tw

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mind-stage/201211/do-fictional-characters-affect-our-real-life

http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0055341

https://ed.ted.com/lessons/jessica-wise-how-fiction-can-change-reality

http://www.letusfindout.com/how-does-media-affect-our-lives/

https://www.reference.com/world-view/media-affect-lives-6b6a615175e11882

https://www.themarysue.com/the-psychology-of-fandom/

http://www.gnovisjournal.org/2012/09/26/how-do-we-explain-fandom/

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865637961/How-fandom-connects-a-community-and-improves-lives.html

Hereâ€™s links to studies on how pedophiles using the internet to find and groom victims/how pedophiles groom victims

https://www.rt.com/uk/359895-nspcc-pedophiles-grooming-online/

https://patch.com/massachusetts/sudbury/bpâ€“stats-about-online-predators-and-precautions-parec47b01a336

http://puresight.com/Pedophiles/Online-Predators/online-predators-statistics.html

http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-632111.pdf

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01639625.2016.1197656

https://ojp.gov/ovc/publications/bulletins/internet_2_2001/NCJ184931.pdf

It doesnâ€™t take a genius to figure out that with how media impacts us in reality and how pedophiles groom children that AdultxMinor ships can be used to harm minors involved in fandom culture by sexual predators. Also, since I donâ€™t deal with pedophile apologists, donâ€™t expect anymore responses from me.

Take all of this...and throw it in the trash. It has nothing to do with the topic at hand and is in fact a form of logical fallacy. Three in one in fact: “Poisoning the well” (The points about the “alt-right” sources when they give one example playing of people’s hatred of Trump when in fact there is no proof that said adviser approved anything viewed as alt-right Trump has done), “moving the goalposts” (The entire first part of the post) and “Ad Hominin” ( the first ahlf of the post, and pounts 2 and 4.) Within these are the three uses of fact manipulation by RWDE: Lie, Cheat and Misinform. (Lie: Saying that I made transphobic statements in the link, talking about a post that “humanizes” Hitler when actually it was showing he just did stuff normal people did, doing nothing about his crimes, Saying that I was talking about queer peopelw hen my posts were about people who obsess over headcanons to the point that’s all they talk about. Cheat: not reblogging this directly as to manipulate the facts more easily as well as calling all my sources as alt-right simple because one person advised Trump and not showing how they acted alt-right, let alone showing how the other sources were “alt-right.” Misinform: Talking about how I was defending pedophiles when I was actually defending media and saying that the people (AKA the pedophiles) should be the ones punished and locked away, not the media itself.)

All you should take from this that out of about 15 points, only two even remotely pertain to the original two posts. For the math, they spent 86.7% of the post attacking me instead of addressing the points I original made. That is how little is actually here. Now this isn’t for my benefits: I could go in depth and totally deconstruct

So let’s address the actual points shall we?

1. You admittedly didnâ€™t become a fan of the show until after Monty died. You donâ€™t know what M&K or other members of the RT crew have or have not historically said and done. Youâ€™re completely unaware of the various developments the fandom as a whole has gone through, both purely as a fandom and in our relationship with the creators. Why you think you can know everything that has gone on and is going on in the fandom is anyoneâ€™s guess.

Research. I’ve asked people and looked back through the history of fandom as well as drawn upon long term fans of the show to see what was going on. I know for a fact that the LGBT character was never promised in a specific volume. I can also show that Miles, the one accused of being egotistical the most, has shown modesty and humility, thus disproving or at least casting very severe the whole argument about RT being egoistical isn’t true.

3. Every bit of criticism weâ€™ve given, even in the beginning has been met with a handwave and then was ignored. From the queerbaity â€œJust wait for it, it needs to feel earned, it needs to be natural.â€ to the pretty racist â€œHereâ€™s some more poc characters, one is a villain and a few are heroes but it wonâ€™t matter because none of them will get any lines after thisâ€ to the white fang plotline which is a complete dumpster fire - though there are others who have covered that better and more in depth than I have. Also, if you have any proof that Miles is actually listening and implementing things because of criticism, I would like to see that.

A. That is limiting their creative freedom and freedom should never be waved for anything aside from physical harm.

B. That is racist thinking that because a racial minority is villain means it’s racist, especially since 1. not every person who fails under your generalization as a few of people who fit under that classification have called you out and numerous others have not aid a word against it thus it comes across as “these people don’t count because they don’t fit the mold I think they should fit” and 2. Thinking that racial minorities can’t play any role other than the “perfect, can do no worn, center of attention” hero and thus preventing them from being realistic and good. Also, POC stands for Peoplel of Color. Which is Colored People backwards, the same title that these groups were getting called back in the days of blatant racism. Good job there.

C. Jaune Arc getting less and less focus with each Volume. he went from having an arc in Volume 1 to sharingan arc with Pyrrha and Blake in Volume 2 to being a plot/angst device in Volume 3 to being built up only to have Jaune push away all of his build up to make Ruby look good in Volume 4. You all just refuse to acknowledge it and focus solely on him, which ironically makes you all sexist by your own logic.

The fact that only two points of yours, 13.3% of your post, is actually about addressing my points and the rets is trying to attack me personally shows how little you actually have against me. And what little you have is easily debunked.

You claim that I am a pedo apologizer but judging by your arguments, what you actually mean is “Um...I have nothing to actually so....PEDOPHILE!” which is an example of Godwin’s law which states that when you use a universal insult against someone, you’ve pretty much consceded the argument. In fact, it should have ended the minute you called me alt-right AKA a Neo Nazi, showing that you just keep trying lob more and more labels onto me because I disagree with you and you can’t prove me wrong. Just as I have said in the past.

#rwde bullshit #pageoflore

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