#no one asked or wanted this

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Yall remember how Texas had that "report an abortion" form that they had to take down after a week?

Well, Missouri has one, only it's for reporting transgender concerns.

Comrades. Friends. Romans. Countrymen. You know what to do.

#queer politics #transgender #trans rights #trans legislation #trans genocide #missouri #fuck the AG man #PLEASE deal with this the same way we dealt with the texas one #i want this man to be SHAMED #I want my trans kids to know they are LOVED #i want this thing down by SUNDAY #please. if you do one thing for me ever im asking that this is it

[batbabydamian]

*you opening the love letter* what does your damijon look like, pls pls pls pls pls pls pls, i know it would be so cute, i just know it 🙏🙏🙏

here you go! thank you for the ask, this was a lot of fun to do! they're working on a case together ^^

#ask #super sons #jondami #damian wayne #jon kent #batbabyart #after getting this ask i couldn't stop thinking about older Damian outfits 😭 #just based on comic artists throughout the years Damian's got a fairly decent range of style it was hard to choose but v fun!! #Jon's wearing a bunch of layers to cover up bulk while Damian's layering to give off more bulk LOL #i decided to lean a bit into Cizmesija's recent look for him and contrast Jon's more colorful casual wear #didn't want tooo much Batman 666 vibes so i tried giving Damian another color option thru A but i still liked B more lol #also every time i draw older Damian his hair keeps changing sdfgh that one poll apparently did not help me decide haha

[valeriapryanikova]

This season, on Hermitcraft...

(speedpaint)

#i never ask for reblogs But this is a special occasion so pretty please reblog reblog reblog! thank you ^_^ #hermitcraft #rendog #vintagebeef #tangotek #i'm not tagging everyone :0 those three get tags bc they were the more important ones lore-wise this season #i'm tempted to also tag grian scar and mumbo for the Exposure but i'm not gonna #edit: changed my mind i'm tagging them i have no shame #grian #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #mcyt #fanart #special shoutout to hc recap bc i watched all of the recaps for s9 and took a Bunch of notes to figure out what and how to draw for this #(and i still didn't manage to draw everything i wanted to bc of just sheer amount of stuff that happened this season lol)

[wispscribbles]

I love your ghost design. I wanna squeeze him :⁠^⁠)

If no hug then why hug-shaped???

#thank youuuu! squeeze that mentally unstable adult man! he needs it! #ask #anon ask #ghostsoap #soapghost #my art #cod fanart #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soap x ghost #doodle #fav hc about ghost is that he is so incredibly touch starved and everyone just assumes he hates touch #but Soap is so touchy he keeps forgetting not to hug and pat and lean on Ghost #and each time Ghost is like ‘what is happening to me?? why do I want to melt rn??? I think I’m in love???’ #outwardly he is a stone wall as usual #until Soap actually remembers to give Ghost space bc he thinks that’s what he wants #and Ghost has to finally be the one to reach out and ask for touch #and Soap is the happiest camper #from then on they are stuck together with glue #this all has nothing to do with your ask I’m sorry #I’ve got ghoap on the brain I can’t help it #complete side note: I have many asks in my inbox and I’m so happy y’all write!! just pls bear with me bc I am very slow to respond

[chloesimaginationthings]

Gregory asks Michael an important FNAF lore question..

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #fnaf vanessa #fnaf vanny #fnaf gregory #michael afton #fnaf #security breach #sister location #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #Vanessa really wants to get on Michael’s good side #all their interactions one on one has been negative #so she hopes today will be better! … she was wrong #Gregory heard her request and respectfully denied it BAHA #Gregory asks THEE most important fnaf lore question.. let the boy cook #Michael doesn’t like to be reminded of that time..

[ministarfruit]

day 15: haunting ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

#HALFWAY THROUGH??! #minifemslashfeb2024 #ace attorney #lanamia #lana skye #mia fey #rotating them in my head #what if ghost mia DIDN'T agree with lana #I should add that my original concept for this was #that ghost mia is just a projection and lana is just imagining her spite post-mortem #as one does when they are not in a good state of mind #but I also think if mia genuinely disapproved of her actions... that would be so interesting #either way I think it should haunt lana #I just think that would be interesting #like what if mia asked about it when she was alive and investigating corruption #and lana deliberately lied to her #those kinds of regrets... #I love ghost stories... #me wanting mia to actually haunt the narrative...

[halogalopaghost]

TIL that you can assign an AO3 next of kin to control your account in case of your death???

#ao3 #this is actually really neat #I had a will at one point that included passwords and usernames specifically for my sister so she could manage certain social media #including my fanfic accounts #if anything happened to me #I need to update it it's been like...idk a decade #who makes a will when they're sixteen you might ask #ppl who want to be dead I will answer very seriously while shaking my bottle of SSRI like a baby rattle

[milfspiggy]

#polls #bullying #tumblr polls #poll #idk what the fuck to tags things as ever shrug #basically i was super super suspicious of anyone who ever asked me out by the time i got into high school #simply because it had happened so many times before #i just assumed no one would ever want to date me for real and that i was so comically disgusting that it was funny to pretend #anyways if this happened to you i'm sorry!! i hope things are better now

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

[coughs up blood] i need.... i need to make them prettier...... HRKKHK AND MORE SILLY [gargling sounds]

#lmk if you guys want a speed paint #my art #one piece #sabo #monkey d. luffy #asl brothers #ask reply #portgas d. ace #sabo the revolutionary

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

#writeblr #i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat #and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity #1. i am 30. #2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months. #3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did #i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her #and secondly. #OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT #briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[time-woods]

so i finally watched good omens after years of putting it off. . .

this is how i cope with most things

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #i saw that one cat image and sent it to some friends n jus said 'crowley @ angel' then i was compelled to draw it #ouuughh the ggay influence #dont ask why hes on the floor #i didnt wanna draw a whole new bg that made sense #fun bug fact i had to use myself as pose ref for this cause i couldnt find anything i wanted so i just lied on my floor n took them

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#selfie bee #good evening friends!! how are you doing! C: #I'm very very sleepy I got a new ikea office chair and I build it all myself #I think it went okay! I don't think I pulled the back screw tight enough and now the back is a bit loose #I can probably fix it but I can also ignore it for the next 18 years #thats how long the old chair held up!! in germany it could now drink vodka and drive a car!! #not at the same time that is illegal! not at the same time!! (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ* #but the day is not over yet my uncle asked me for a big art quest and I do not want to disappoint #he wants a muppet tattoo and asked me to draw it #my uncle has started to get tattoos a few months ago #as far as I know he has now gotten 3 note clefs 3 stars a flower and multiple birds #he also started getting piercings but so far I managed not to know exactly where #I think tattoos are super cool (´｡･v･｡｀) I wish I had a good idea for a tattoo but the last time I was very sure about getting a tattoo #it was heath ledgers face as the joker #at that point I was 12 and would not see the actual movie for two more years #a muppet tattoo is a way better idea!! he asked for the count van count! that is also one of my top 3 muppets ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡ #I always thought I knew a lot about muppet lore but since I started looking up muppet pictures I think there are still a lot of secrets #can the muppets from the Sesame Street actually leave the Sesame Street? #I think Kermit is both on the Muppet Show and on Sesame Street but he is also like the boss muppet #he might have special abilities #I hope you're having a good day friends!! C: #I think I'll post a Sherlock comic later this week #miss you!! ♥♥♥

[pencilscratchins]

to everyone asking when i’m gonna post art again… hey guys i recently acquired six incredibly large clown paintings so i’m sort of booked at the moment

#no one is asking actually i just want to talk about my recent clown acquisition #6! for $20!!! and they’re really good! #my cat loves them my roommate is bringing in his witch boyfriend to cleanse them #he has told me it’s him or the paintings #and i’m telling him it’s always gonna be the paintings #anyway this account is now my public diary #no art anymore just me posting these things #welcome to my twisted mind #not art #delete later

[bobacupcake]

begging... pleading... for a bigger version of that pikachu gif (if possible), i am so utterly enchanted with it its unreal (i have that exact plush in my house!!!)

#hope this is what u mean #he's carmelas :) though im pretty sure i also had the exact same one ?! #also if anyone wants him transparent im sorry but my transparency machine broke and i dont know why #ask #potion of answers your question #Anonymous