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not-sewell · 3 years

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The Pride Week at @wayhavensummer has begun and i guess i'm throwing in my hat too. 😬

belonging.

prompt: first pride (+ belonging)

pairing: Agent Morgan x f!detective (Arzoo Shafri) ft. Farah Hauville, Nate Sewell

word count: ~1200 words, phew.

rating: G

summary: Arzoo's choice to stay back with Morgan instead of going for Fun Timez at the Pride parade slips into a discussion about what pride means to Arzoo and why forgoing the parade it isn't as big a sacrifice as Morgan's made it out to be.

Farah is certainly...keen on attending the Pride celebration in the big city today. Morgan's not sure Farah's slept a wink since Tina mentioned it over a week ago. It's not like she needs the sleep but Morgan cannot help but give her a look of concern every so often.

"Will there be music too?"

"Ye—"

"What kind?"

"Oh, well—"

"You're coming too, right?"

"I—"

"Should I wear this? How do I look? Is this enough? Should I add more rainbows to my outfit?"

"You look grea—"

"You're coming, aren't you? Wait, will there be dancing? Are there going to be any carnival floa— can I get on one?"

"I don't remember seeing anything about that—"

"Oh no, wait, really? But you're coming along, aren't you?" Farah finished finally, looking between Arzoo and Morgan.

Morgan winces almost imperceptibly at the number of times Farah has asked that question. Almost . Morgan looks up to look at Arzoo and finds her gaze pass over her briefly. Huh.

"Actually," Arzoo begins to reply, "I don't think so." She speaks almost hesitantly. Like she's tasting the words before they leave her mouth.

"Not this time. I'm fresh out of my social battery," Arzoo explains at the sight of Farah's frown, punctuating it with a little, soft laugh.

Morgan catches her glance again. Okay, no way is this the whole truth now.

[find this on AO3 too!]

Farah lets out a groan in reply. "But Arzoo! We—"

"Will miss you thoroughly! But we understand if you don't want to join us. Right, Farah?" Nate slips in seamlessly, evidently having overheard the conversation. As always. The strained smile on his face attempting to communicate what he has to say about where this discussion is headed.

"We- we do! Yes!" Farah catches on quickly. "I'm so excited about this, though! So many years here, and you'd think I must've gone for one of these already. But there's always been something. The first year, I was obviously only just getting a hang of things here. I thought I should've been able to go, but people at the Agency didn't think it would've been such a good idea. And then the second year..." she continued, in an attempt to change the course of the discussion.

It is amazing how they think Morgan cannot see what they're all doing. And if she were being honest, endearing , even. She really wouldn't have minded being left alone for a while. She'd have taken a smoke on the roof for most of the time anyway. Arzoo shouldn't have to stay back for her...it's bullshit.

"We'll get you all the goodies though!" Farah's exclamation manages to catch Morgan's attention.

"You too, grumpy ," she utters the nickname purposefully, throwing in a nearly infuriating smirk for good measure. Morgan's discontent must've shown because Farah barks out a laugh before waving goodbye. Nate waits back a moment to cast a glance at Morgan, his smile slightly strained still. She only barely contains the spark of irritation it makes her feel.

------------------------

"Seriously? You thought of packing your little painting set over a few more sets of clothes?" Morgan asks incredulously. They're making their way to the Warehouse roof, Arzoo carrying a box of art supplies as Morgan carries a heavier box; it contains pebbles, apparently.

"Not that I mind, though," she adds almost too quickly, a slightly forced smirk pasted on her face. Not even that seems to be able to defuse this odd...tension that Morgan senses between them. She knows what has caused it. It's quite unlike her but she cannot bring herself to address it. Not yet anyway.

Surprisingly, Arzoo doesn't seem to notice the strain in Morgan's words. A chuckle escapes her instead, and she swats at Morgan's arm.

"I only came over for the weekend, remember?" She looks over her shoulder before looking ahead. "And there's something about the view on the roof that I like."

Morgan lays her box down as they settle. "And you want to paint that on these pebbles?"

It's...not unheard of, but it's not really something that she thought Arzoo would enjoy doing. It's nice learning new things about her, though. She wants to do more of it each day she spends with her.

Arzoo only shrugs at the question. "The world is my canvas," she says with a smile.

Morgan watches as Arzoo begins to paint wordlessly. She watches the colours connect with a smooth pebble. She watches as they blend, unbothered. She watches as the colours meet the water in the old mug, finding their place there too. She watches as the colours transform every inch of the surface they touch, as though they belong there.

She watches Arzoo give in to painting. She's probably never sounded this relaxed. There is an ease about her movements that Morgan has never truly witnessed before. It's almost infectious, the calm. And something in Morgan itches to disturb it.

"You should've gone, you know," Morgan finally murmurs weakly. "It's something you've done for a while now and I think it's fucking stupid to sit back here because I find everything so prickly."

She huffs out a breath, and with it, leaves the weight she had felt all this while.

Arzoo looks up, a little taken aback – perhaps by the way Morgan chose to word the way she felt. And she frowns.

"What makes you say that?"

"It's clearly important to you. You may not always show it, but I know what it means for you to find a community," she explains, quoting Tina. "Isn't that what they always keep talking about anyway?"

"And what makes you think I don't find it here? With you?" Arzoo raises an eyebrow. She doesn't seem too bothered with the silence that follows either, choosing to search Morgan's face instead.

"Pride has been a lot more than simply finding a community to me," Arzoo begins with a sigh a few moments later. "That really simplifies what it means to me. It has been about belongingness – standing at the edge of the crowd and still feeling very much a part of it, about finding a place for yourself. It's the shared understanding and acceptance of each other. It is the way you feel connected with someone from this understanding. It is...like blending with and finding yourself in something so much bigger than yourself - without truly losing sight of yourself and the role you play."

She reaches out to hold Morgan's hand, a soft smile creeping on her beautiful face.

"More importantly, it is about finding comfort – comfort to accept yourself, comfort to just...be, to be unapologetically yourself." Arzoo's eyes twinkle, as though in anticipation of what she's about to say. "And I find all of this with you, Morgan. I am not giving up something when I'm with you. Not today. Not in this matter."

"And," she continues, with a smile that's now quickly becoming a smirk, "while it is true that I stayed back to keep you company, it is also true that I've run out of my quota for social interaction. But it's cute that you are so considerate of my feelings."

Morgan groans at that. "It's not cute ," she says, rolling her eyes, prepared to argue over it (and blissfully unaware of Arzoo's action of dipping her fingers in paint). "I'm not cute."

Arzoo gently runs her three fingers – dipped in pink, yellow and blue – snorting at the look on Morgan's face, whatever it is.

"Sure, you're not. Happy Pride, sunshine," she whispers, leaning forward to press their foreheads together.

A genuine smile makes its way onto Morgan's face too, who leans in further to press a quick but soft kiss on her lover's cheek. "To you too, sweetheart."

#i have been itching to write Something #and an attempt was made #the wayhaven chronicles #twc #wayhaven summer #pride in wayhaven #agent m #agent m x detective #agent morgan x detective #morgan x arzoo #f hauville #farah hauville #n sewell #nate sewell #twc fic #queue #no proofreading we post bs with our whole chest

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