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#no reason behind this gifset
kingofscoops · 1 year
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Endless Gifs of Steve Harrington (24/?)
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pernilleharders · 8 months
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Int. Friendly (June 10, 2021) Int. Friendly (October 11, 2022) World Cup, Round of 16 (August 7, 2023)
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reginrokkr · 4 months
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400 icons later I'm finally done adding the tiny adjustments I settled for! In all honesty, doing this is exhausting as hecky but I'm also really happy because I've been wanting to do something like this for Dain for a very long time to no avail. But at the same time it's highly rewarding to me because graphic design is a passion of mine that I include as part of the RP experience and it's really invigorating to have a newfound inspiration that I lacked a while ago. The change in his icons isn't that big, but I'm still one to keep things somehow simple as to not distract from the main point of focus which should be him.
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pallases · 2 years
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new gifset soon!!
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imadhatt3r · 2 years
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I'm giving in and I'm pre-ordering that "Clementine" graphic novel because I really need to know if the author can get herself out of the jam she got herself in by completely changing Clementine's personality and motivations
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cal-kestis · 7 months
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HOW TO: Make an iPhone Layout + Downloadable Template
Hi! I've gotten a few messages asking for a tutorial on my iPhone gifsets — but instead of only doing a tutorial (that would probably be triple the length this one already is), I decided to turn my layout into a template with all the bits and bobs! In the "tutorial" under the cut, I'll share everything you'll need, a free template download, and quickly go over how to use this template. :)
Disclaimer: This template uses Video Timeline and this tutorial assumes you have a basic to intermediate understanding of Photoshop.
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PHASE 1: THE ASSETS
1.1 – Download fonts. These are the fonts used for all assets I've included in my template: – SF Pro or SF Pro Display (Regular, Medium, Bold): Either version works, they look nearly identical. You can download directly from https://developer.apple.com/fonts/ or easily find it via Google – Bebas Neue: Free on Google Fonts, Adobe Fonts, and dafont – Times New Roman (Bold): Should be a default font in Photoshop
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Make sure to download and install any of the fonts you don't already have before opening my template. That way, once you open the template file, all the settings (font size, weight, spacing, color, opacity, etc.) are as intended.
1.2 – Download my template. Before you use my template, all I ask is that you don't claim or redistribute it as your own and that you give me proper credit in the caption of your post. Making these iPhone gifsets takes me a longgg time and turning this layout into a template took several hours too.
DOWNLOAD TEMPLATE VIA KO-FI ← This template is completely free to download (just enter $0), but if you feel inclined to tip me, I appreciate you! ����
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BTW this template also includes some of my frequently used icons!
NOTE: If, for some reason, you open the template and see the pop-up shown below, click "NO" — otherwise, the fonts will be all messed up:
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And if you see this triangle with an exclamation point by a text layer, don't double-click it — it'll mess up the font as well:
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PHASE 2: THE GIFS
I'm just going to briefly go over gif sizes and my recommendations. Also, keep in mind when grabbing your scenes, you'll want all of these gifs to be the same amount of frames.
2.1 – Background Gif: 540 x 540 px. I recommend this size so you have a good amount of visibility for the gif behind the iPhone wallpaper. I also recommend making this black and white (or in my case, black and white with a slight blue tint — idk I just like the way it looks) so the wallpaper coloring can stand out.
2.2 – Wallpaper Gif: 230 (w) x 500 (h) px. Keep in mind the very narrow dimensions of the wallpaper! And also keep in mind that you'll have a bunch of apps and widgets covering the image. I try to use wide shots (or layer my clips into looking like wide shots). Also, keep in mind your color scheme for your set and your character's aesthetic! I tend to focus on one or two colors for the wallpaper.
I usually position the wallpaper to the side with 20px bumpers, so there's lots of space to see the background:
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2.3 – Large Photo Widget Gif: 201 (w) x 96 (h) px.
2.4 – Small Photo Widget Gif: 94 x 94 px.
PHASE 3: THE TEMPLATE – "IPHONE" FOLDER
In this section, I'll try to quickly walk you through how to use this template and some bits that may require extra instructions. I'll be going through each folder from top to bottom.
3.1 – Status Bar. Time, Service, and WiFi are pretty self-explanatory. In the Battery folder, you can use the shape tool to adjust the shape layers labeled "Fill (Adjustable Shape!)" to customize the battery level.
3.2 – Message Notification. Again, these are pretty self-explanatory. I've already masked the circle for the contact photo, so you can simply import any photo and use the transform tool to shrink it down. The circle is 24x24 px. If you don't want to use a photo, there's another folder called Default Initials.
If your message text can't fit the text box, the message should end with ellipses which is how iOS caps off long texts.
3.3 – Blurred Banner (IMPORTANT) This folder is easy to miss because there's only one placeholder layer in there. On iPhones, the area behind a banner notification and the dock get blurred (including the wallpaper and any apps).
What to do: Make a duplicate of the apps in Row 1 and/or widgets that intersect the message banner, convert them all into one smart object, apply a Gaussian Blur filter (Radius: 3.0 pixels) on the smart object, and move the smart object into this masked folder!
(There's another masked folder in the Wallpaper folder for the dock which I'll go over in that section.)
3.4 – Apps Turn off the yellow guide if you don't need it to keep things aligned and turn off layers you don't need by clicking the eye icon. Replace the "App" placeholder text with your app name, change the color or gradient of the square to compliment your color scheme, and add your custom app icon overlay!
If you can't find an app icon you need from the ones I provided, flaticon.com is a great resource. Also, if you can only find the filled version of an icon, check out this tutorial for how to make any text or shape into an outline.
Also, each app folder has 4 notification bubble options (1-4 digits). Again, you can toggle these on and off as you need!
3.5 – Big Widgets I like using these when my wallpaper has A LOT of negative space to fill. I included the Photos and Books widgets in my template, but there are lots of widgets available on iPhones. You can check some of the other ones I've done here, or if you have an iPhone, simply try adding some widgets to your phone!
There are also widgets bigger than these, but they would take up half of the phone screen which is why I don't use them for these edits.
3.6 – Small Widgets The only thing I'll say about these — because they're pretty straight forward — is there are a lot more weather themes than I included in my template. Also, if you set your character's phone to evening, the weather widget will show a dark background (sometimes with stars), so keep that in mind.
Speaking of, I've included Light Modes and Dark Modes for, I think, every applicable widget.
3.7 – Page Dots These barely perceptible dots indicate that your character has more pages of apps than shown in your gifset (so if an anon tries to come at you, you can just say "it's on the next page of apps" /j /lh)
3.8 – Dock Again, the dock has notification bubble options and I've included the default app designs, custom filled designs, and custom outlined designs for iMessage, Phone, Email, and Safari (there's also a FaceTime alternative if that's how your character rolls). These are usually the apps people keep in their Dock, but this is fully customizable too. So, if your character is, like, super obsessed with Candy Crush or something and needs it in thumb's reach — you can put it in the dock.
3.9 – Wallpaper This whole folder is masked already to a 230x500 px rounded rectangle.
Inside, you'll find another "Blurred Portion" folder for the area behind the message banner notification and the dock.
What to do: Duplicate your gif layer and place it in this folder, remove any sharpening filters, and apply a Gaussian Blur filter (Radius: 3.0 px). Be sure to add any coloring/adjustment layers ABOVE this folder and your original sharpened gif layer.
PHASE 4: EXPORT
We made it!
I hope this template makes it super easy for you to recreate this layout! If you decide to try it out, feel free to tag me with #usernik.
If you notice anything wonky about the template, kindly let me know so I can fix it! And if you have any questions about how to use this template, please don't hesitate to send me a message! I just ask that you try to be specific in your question so I'm able to answer you the best I can!
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youspeakshit · 16 days
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lestappen 2022 moments ~
I wrote this as a reblog to a different post when I saw people saying they barely interacted up until half of 2023. I wanted to share it as its own thing since it really confused me, I actually changed ships in 2022 bc lestappen were all over each other and I fell in love with them.
I'm gonna link some 2022 content so everyone can cheer up together abt the saudi gp podium weirdness, and make heart eyes at their cuteness.
Getting it outta the way first thing, press conference silliness: one two three four. And an extra twitter thread sharing stuff from each gp.
Max interrupting Charles' interview to say hi, and both forgetting about it to have a small chat.
Do I hear hot ass battles on track? And second link has as surprise this gay ass moment bellow.
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And here from a different angle bc austria 2022 is everyone's roman empire.
Charles congratulating Max on his win; they also greeted each other from the cars.
The infamous Charles vlog with Max in the us gp: mysteriously hidden and then removed from his channel.
Them touching 166 times for no reason.
Spending too much time together and using the same phrases.
Behind the scenes of monaco gp by Ferrari and Red Bull are a good watch as well!
Charles got Max for the secret santa that year.
British gp had hidden camera silly debriefings, and also my personal favorite... Charles went after Max to vent about Ferrari fucking up his race and Max looked genuinely upset for him. Extra gifset.
This is just a short compilation of a long year fueled by lestappen that I hope ppl enjoy to learn about or revisit. That year they had 8 podiums together, that's 8 cool down rooms podcasts. And 14 qualis shared, plus 14 post-quali press conferences and waist-hugs. Countless sightings of them out and about with their personal debriefing after qualis and races. It sure was kinda awkward at first, they both seemed to wanna make small talk before getting the hang of their dynamic. But they were battling each other A LOT during this season and having so much fun racing together!
I'll end it linking to a twitter thread with some extra bits. Including this photo from when they got f1 married. Or whatever this was.
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Eddie Laughs At Steve
Saw THIS gifset and had another idea!!! Thanks for the insp @robinsteve ! Your gifset is so lovely!!!
Eddie always laughs at Steve. Steve isn't even trying to be funny. But Eddie will laugh. And sometimes it is jokes. But a lot of the times its the questions he asks, or the way he says things, or the way he makes sports analogies to kids who play dnd. Eddie laughs. Not always a big laugh, but sometimes. When Steve intentionally tells jokes, Eddie ALWAYS laughs. The loudest.
But it's the other laughs that start nagging at Steve. Especially the ones after he asks questions that make the kids roll their eyes at him. Eddie will chuckle, or snort, but after the laughs, whatever variation comes out of him, he will always ALWAYS answer Steve's question. In a nice way. In ways that Steve can understand.
They were behind the group once, all of them walking ahead and ignoring Steve's question and Eddie had used a goddamn baseball analogy to explain something and Steve had gaped at him. Eddie just smiled, winked, and jogged ahead to join the others. Steve was floored, but his question was also answered.
But they're alone one day when Steve asks him a question, maybe about music. About metal. And Eddie snorts, but immediately turns to Steve to answer him but Steve’s mouth is faster and he says,
"why do you do that?" And he sounds... hurt? Maybe a little. Eddie frowns, squints his eyes, had he done something?
"Why do i do what?" He shrugs, really not sure what Steve is talking about. His little laughs are just a reflex at this point, just a side effect of Steve. But Steve goes red, his fingers worrying at the knee of his jeans and he says,
"you laugh at me." His voice quiet. Eddie's frown deepens, he takes a few steps and sits down next to Steve, looking out the window.
"I laugh at you?" He asks, his eyes watching a bird peck at the telephone pole in the lot outside.
"Yeah." Is all he gets from Steve. He turns to look at him.
"When... when do i laugh at you? Aside from when you tell those excellent dad jokes?" Eddie is seriously asking, but he smiles and bumps Steve's shoulder with the tease, trying to get that sad look off his face. And it works, Steve smiles, shakes his head, but then he looks up at Eddie, all serious again.
"All the time. You laugh all the time. You laughed just now when i asked that question. Is it-" steve takes a sharp breath, looks away again, his hands in his lap.
"Is it cuz they're stupid questions?" The look on his face when he looks back at Eddie sobers him entirely. The look says Steve knows Eddie's answer already. That he KNOWS he asks stupid questions. And it breaks Eddie's heart a little, because it couldn't be anymore NOT that reason. But Eddie can't make a joke right now. Doesnt want Steve to think he's teasing. So he shakes his head slowly,  looking right at Steve.
"No. It's not cuz they're stupid questions. They're not. I like your questions. Like that you think to ask them at all. Means you got things going on up here." He taps his finger twice against Steve's temple, gently.
"But they're not funny questions." Steve frowns, sighs deeply. Eddie melts a little, he's got that confused face happening that Eddie can't get enough of.
"Do you want me to be truthful. Like... overly truthful? Like... you may not wanna hang out with me anymore... truthful?" Eddie rubs at the back his neck, watches the gears in Steve's head start moving slowly.
"Well... i can't really think of anything that would make me not wanna hang out with you. Unless you're about to be an asshole and tell me you lied about them being stupid questions." He grimaces a little.
"They're not stupid questions." Eddie reaffirms, frowning at Steve for saying it again. Steve nods.
"Okay... then yeah. Be overly truthful." He shrugs but his eyes are locked on Eddie's face, his fingers all tangled together in his lap, he looks nervous. Eddie nods, bites his lip, takes a deep breath.
"It's because i like you. I like being around you. I like your voice, it's nice. But yeah it's just- just that. It's just you. I enjoy you being near me so when you talk, and when you make jokes, or you ask questions. Questions no one else is asking, mind you!" He points seriously at Steve, gets a warm feeling when Steve blushes and glances into his lap.
"So yeah its just, i like the way your brain works. You see different angles.  And i dont know. Ive always kinda been a different angle kinda guy." Eddie shrugs. Steve bites his lip and then frowns.
"Why would that make me not wanna hang out with you?" Because of course Eddie had said that, and then not gone OVER on the sharing... apparently. Was all that something guys normally said to each other? He shook his head, hiding in a curtain of his hair. He shrugged again.
"Dunno. Didn't think you'd want me liking you that much... or um... that WAY?" and there it is, he's hit the overshare now, Steve's eyes widen.
"Oh." He says, his back straightening, like he's been shocked.
"Yeah. Sorry. I shouldn't have said-"
"No! I-" Eddie's eyes landing on Steve's face steal his words. Eddie widens his eyes, nods for Steve to continue. He huffs a laugh and rubs at the back of his neck.
"I just- So i was talking to Robin about it. You laughing at me. And she said it might be... because you like me. But i mean i never- i never thought you'd actually like me back. Im definitely not your type." Steve laughs again, shakes his head. Eddie is on his feet instantly, his hands flailing as he turns to look at Steve, his big doe eyes even wider in suprise at Eddie's sudden movements.
"Im sorry lemme just rewind that for a second. Did you say... like you back?" Steve just nods, his suprise giving way to a sickening fondness that Eddie has somehow just fucking NOT NOTICED this whole time. Eddie drops his hands to his sides with a huff.
"Well fuck." He breathes, his fingers twitch at his sides as Steve smiles up at him, gets to his feets slowly and moves to stand in front of Eddie.
"I mean, we could definitely work up to that, yeah." Steve presses his lips together when Eddie groans and covers his face with hands, his arms moving further after he rubs at his face to cover his head. His shoulders are shaking, he's hiding giggles in his arms but what Steve can see of his neck is bright red.
Steve laughs too, pulls at Eddie's arms and hands until he can move in. He wraps his arms around Eddie and holds him close, nuzzles into his shoulder, deeper into the hug as Eddie grabs at him, pulling at his sweater to get him closer, he's still giggling, right into Steve's neck now and it's the best fucking thing. Steve rubs his back, hands moving slowly and says,
"sorry. I couldn't resist" the snort that leaves Eddie before he tumbles into another fit of giggles as Steve holds him close is the best sound Steve's ever heard.
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avelera · 6 months
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OFMD S2 Meta - Stede's Garbage Self-Worth with regards to Ed is still unresolved
(And I'm so hyped for this plotline)
H'ok! So of all the scenes in episodes 1-3 of OFMD S2, this is the one I've been most hyped to discuss but I've been putting it off a few days so people had at least a little time to watch the new eps.
Gifs are courtesy of @ratchet from this gifset:
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Hoooo BOY this is such an interesting scene to unpack! Because to me there's at least 3 levels going on here.
What Lucius hears
What the audience "hears"
What Stede literally said
Thing is, I believe when Stede says, "I'm not ready to believe that," the tone that Lucius hears and that the audience is at least 50/50 expected to hear based on the sort of cadence of the scene is, "I'm not ready to believe that Ed's best days are behind him. I'm going to change that."
But I'm not convinced that's what Stede is saying, what Rhys Darby is portraying, or what is literally on the page.
Literally, on the page, Stede says he's not ready to believe that. And given that Stede is very neurodivergent coded, Rhys is self-confessed autistic, and I believe Rhys is bringing that to his portrayal of Stede, I think we really should look at literal words as written and not just run with they're implied to say. This could be read as a declaration that Stede refuses to accept a reality where Ed's best days are behind him or the literal reading: he still can't process that Ed Teach's time with Stede Bonnet was the best Ed's life is ever going to get.
I believe this is for multiple reasons:
Stede isn't going to throw off a lifetime of low self-esteem and bullying overnight just because he's realized he's in love. Especially when the manner of realizing it (end of S1) was hurting the person he loves pretty badly by abandoning him without a word. He's determined to fix his mistakes but each step of the journey is revealing just how big of a mistake it actually was. Not exactly the stuff of sudden self-confidence and positive self-image change.
It requires a full re-write in Stede's brain of every single assumption he had about his relationship with Ed before their separation. Stede in S1, to my eyes, very much saw himself as the junior partner in the relationship. He saw Ed as taking pity on him, to some extent. He felt blessed to have Ed there. It informed so much of their relationship and it especially informed him taking off when he thought his presence was an active burden on Ed. Basically, what Lucius is saying here attacks the very foundations of Stede's understanding of the happiest part of his life so far. To learn that Ed wasn't just the happiest part of his life, but that he, Stede Bonnet, was the happiest part of Ed's life? Whew. Fuck. Not good. Very not good.
Because it's really not good if he was the happiest part of Ed's life, that he so fundamentally misunderstood their dynamic because of his low self-esteem, that he ended the happiest period of Ed's life without warning, without a note, prematurely, and left Ed with the inescapable conclusion that Stede doesn't care about him.
I think worse, even worse, is that Stede has evidence that Lucius is right that he was the best part of Ed's life. But in S1, we're heavily in Stede's POV and Stede's POV of himself is that he's a joke, pathetic, garbage, lucky to have someone like Ed in his life. But Ed's literal actions, louder than words, are that he chose Stede. He gave up piracy for him. He stayed by him. He offered his life for Stede's. Stede wasn't ready to hear that then, he couldn't hear it over the sound of his own low self-esteem whispering poison in his ear, externalized by the Badmintons (both real and imagined). He took their words as fact, rather than Ed's actions as fact. Reexamining Ed's actions shows just how wrong they were. Just how wrong Stede was. And just how badly he hurt Ed because he didn't listen to Ed, the person he loves, over the voices of his own trauma, self-doubt, or of the Badmintons, people who literally hated Stede.
It's a lot. It's a lot for Stede to take in. He's not there yet. But I love that we've had it said aloud: this is a major plot point still. Stede's end-of-S1 glow-up didn't signal that he's self-confident now enough to realize he might be as good for Ed as Ed is for him. He's still grappling with that. It shatters him to even begin to realize this. They have to work through that still. Stede is ready to start listening but he still doesn't, can't literally can't, believe it just yet. It's just too big.
And I am absolutely salivating to see how the rest of the season deals with this thread.
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galedekarios · 2 months
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Hi there! This is something I noticed and I wonder if this is true for you and other players:
Gale seems to get bored/go into his idle animation faster than my other companions. I've noticed it's pretty consistent across all my playthroughs--if everyone's standing around (if, for example, IRL me has to get something to drink or see what the cats are destroying), Gale will usually start his practice-spell-casting-gesture fairly quickly, while the other companions take a little bit longer. Even Karlach doesn't start her dancing-in-place animation as quickly as Gale starts his gesturing.
It's obviously not a huge thing, and other players might have different experiences, but I think it's so cute. Maybe Gale figures he needs to make good use of his time if the protag is going to insist on standing in the middle of the forest/the Underdark/a busy Baldur's Gate street for no good reason :D
(Most of the time it's the gesture for me, but on occasion he does touch the Orb mark first ;;;______;;;;).
thank you for your message! i was wondering about this too ever since i made my gifset trying to record gale practising (presumably) the somatic components of a spell.
i've noticed this too and i think it very much suits his character! i'm not sure if it was intentional, but...
i do think gale's mind is always winding and weaving (no pun intended!) and going a hundred miles per hour at any given time, so it makes sense that he would try to use any sort of downtime in a productive manner or keep himself occupied.
it suits gale, who tara calls her 'clever friend' who 'never leaves a knot knotted':
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Tara the Tressym: My clever friend never leaves a knot knotted.
gale, who, if you leave him behind, begins to study the rune he was pulled from:
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Gale: It drew me in. But how? - Gale: Safer to be out here than trapped in there. But if I could remain in there safely... - Gale: Could the effect be reproduced? Perhaps with the right application of Weave... - Gale: I would think Netherese, but that's impossible. And yet...
gale, who talks in his sleep:
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Lae'zel: Gale, I've heard you talking in your sleep. Your mate needs better rest for our journey. Gale: And deprive them of the pleasure of hearing my nocturnal postulations? I'd never be so cruel. Gale: The mind absorbs much while we believe ourselves dormant. To lie beside Gale of Waterdeep is positively educational.
it's one of those things that just make sense for him. 🖤
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eddiediaaz · 5 months
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hi lovely!! do you have any tips on making cool fun and sexy typography?
hey joanna!! this made me giggle haha, i'm not quiiiite sure how to answer that, but here are some tips i keep in my when i do typography, and some examples:
FONTS
don't be afraid to "shop" for fonts and try funky fonts you've never used/seen. i often try so many before settling. i almost always use at least 2 different font for gifsets, even 3 sometimes. i think a good font pairing can do a lot for a gif. it's usually something like:
serif + cursive/funky fonts (example)
sans serif + cursive/funky fonts (example)
serif + sans serif fonts (example)
two different cursive/funky fonts (example)
or even simply the same font but all caps + all lowercase (example)
in case you're unsure where too start or want inspiration, here's a great resource: usergif's font pairing guide and its fonts page
BLEND MODES & LAYER STYLES
i think playing around with different blend modes and layer styles will always elevate your typography game, in my opinion. it's usually a bit more dynamic than just an opaque color. tho this minimalist typography can also be really good.
when you double click on a text layer, you get all the layer style options, as well as the blend modes. a very popular layer style is setting the layer's blending option to difference, paired with a color and/or gradient overlay (often set to multiply/color dodge). a drop shadow is also important so the text is more easily readable. we often see a black soft drop shadow, but don't hesitate to be creative with it, for example a thick, hard line, colorful drop shadow.
i feel like this step often takes the most time for me because the possibilities are endless. definitely play around with layer styles, especially drop shadow, color overlay, gradient overlay, stroke. and also try different blending modes for these settings.
as for the layer's blend mode, also definitely play around with them. and keep in mind that the text's color will also give a different result, it doesn't have to be white + blend mode set to difference, even tho this is a classic that works well.
TEXT WRAPING & POSITION
a great feature on photoshop is definitely the text warping tool. to access it, right click on a text layer and go "warp text". from there you'll get a few different styles and setting sliders. my favorites are flag and wave (example). you can always go back to edit these settings once they're done by right clicking again. and you can even keyframe/animate these settings!
typography doesn't always have to be centered and straight, i often prefer it on a side and rotated a little. you can easily rotate typography by selecting the layer(s) and hitting ctrl + T. you can also play with the skew and pespective after hitting ctrl + T by right clicking the canvas and clicking on either. these will give different ways to move your text.
SIZING
i love playing around with different font sizes, it makes the typography more interesting in my opinion, and it's a way to emphasize some words.
so for that reason i usually put each word on a different layer so i can edit each word separately. sometimes i will also put each letter on a different layer, because it can be interesting to offset/rotate some letters sometimes (example) (another example).
i often pair a quite small serif or sans serif font with a much bigger funky font (example). and often that bigger font will also have different sized words (example). i play around a lot with this!
ADDED EFFECTS
there are some things than can be done to enhance typography:
adding a colorful rectangle block behind the text (example)
using text symbols such as quotation marks or backets (example)
using lines around the text (example) (another example)
these can definitely bring typography to a different level
MORE RESOURCES
great font website
usergif's typography tag
my fonts tag
this is all i can think of right now, i hope it helps :D if you have any question on a specific text effect let me know, i can definitely make a tutorial!
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anna-hawk · 6 months
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Distraction
Frank Castle x F!Reader
Summary: Frank can be incredibly distracting without realizing it.
Warnings/Tags: pretty much silly PWP, vaginal sex, bearded Frank
WC 2,2k // Explicit 🔞
This was meant to be part of the Beardthal Bash, but I didn't have the time to finish it until now. It's inspired, once again, by the look Jon has in the GIF by @darlingshane just below. He makes me absolutely weak looking like this, and this little fic shows it 😅. Check out the full gifset for more drool worthy Jon.
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Catching yourself staring again, you pressed your lips into a thin line in annoyance at yourself and dropped your eyes to the documents you were supposed to be going over on the coffee table. 
“He’s only fixing a freaking shelf, get a grip,” you mumbled under your breath, while you tried picking up where you’d left off and adjusted your position on the couch. 
You jotted down a few notes before you stopped to think, and your gaze automatically moved upwards to land on Frank. Again. Rubbing a palm over your forehead, you pursed your lips at your boyfriend, who was completely unaware of your predicament since he had his back to you. He had the day off and after running some errands earlier that morning, he’d decided to take up repairing that one bookshelf that always looked crooked for whatever reason. Nothing out of the ordinary. Yet, you were unable to not stare at him. The issue actually lay in how he looked. He’d let his hair grow out again, the soft strands falling to the sides or into his face, and he was sporting a nicely groomed beard instead of his usual thicker one. You loved the fuller beard, but the trimmed version definitely did something for his jawline. If that wasn’t enough, he’d gone for a pair of jeans that hugged his long legs and ass, while a red tee shirt spread over his back and chest. He looked completely at ease, since those clothes were comfortable and simple. There wasn’t anything fancy or specific about them, but the look as a whole was turning you on wildly and driving you to complete distraction. Something you really didn’t have the time for. You wanted to be done with that boring paperwork and move on. You had considered going into the bedroom, but you didn’t have enough space and the printer was in the living room and…
As Frank raked his fingers through his hair to push it out of his face, which caused the shirt to ride up and reveal a large part of his lower back, you threw your hands in the air with an explosive sigh. 
“Frank?”
“Hm?” he replied distractedly, as he checked the level of the shelf. 
“Would you mind finishing with the shelf a little bit later?”
Frank turned around and gave you a surprised look. 
“Uh, sure? Am I makin’ too much noise?”
“What? No, no, you’re not. You’re just really distracting,” you said, before you could stop yourself. 
“Distractin’?” He cocked an eyebrow and put the screwdriver on the shelf. 
Your mouth worked silently and you ended only nodding. There was no way you were admitting to why he was so distracting. 
Frank approached you with a partly curious and partly amused smile, his lips pulling up to one side. 
“But I ain’t bein’ noisy,” he asked for confirmation. 
“You’re not,” you replied with a faint nod as you glanced at the documents before you and not the gorgeous man coming closer. 
How did your request of him to stop the repairs backfire on you like this? Now you didn’t only have him right in front of you, but you also had his full attention. Chancing a brief look up at him, you saw him watching you attentively, obviously waiting for you to elaborate. 
“Your… shirt’s distracting me,” you blurted out stupidly. 
“My shirt,” he deadpanned. 
“Yeah, just…” You made a shooing motion as you got up to head for the printer sitting on a small desk behind the couch, trying for nonchalant, but not succeeding in the least. 
Frank snorted from behind you at your behavior, and you soon felt his presence at your back. Of course the man wouldn’t listen to you. 
“So it’s just the shirt? What if I take it off?” 
“No!” You whirled around with wide eyes, knowing that a topless Frank would only make things worse, especially when his scent was already doing things to you. 
Frank smirked and narrowed his eyes at you. 
“I meant that I could change into another one.” 
You blinked at him and cleared your throat. “Oh… uhm… that’s…”
“Wanna tell me what exactly is distractin’ you, Sweetheart?” Frank asked, his voice lowering. 
You were standing so close now and Frank’s eyes were boring into yours with an intensity only he knew how to use. 
Briefly looking away with a huff of a laugh, you slightly pursed your lips and shrugged. 
“You,” you muttered with a small wave to indicate his whole form. 
“And how exactly? I wasn’t doin’ nothin’.” He tilted his head to one side, eyeing you curiously from under his lashes. 
“Just don’t, Frank,” you groaned and closed your eyes for a second. 
“Don’t what?” he chuckled. 
He was the worst. 
“Come on, I need to get this done,” you whined, lifting your hands to push at his chest as he moved in closer. Well, push really wasn’t the word, since you didn’t put a lot of force into it. At all.
“Tell me,” he coaxed with a rough voice, while he was leaning in to graze his lips over yours, his hands going to your hips. 
“Frank, I need to finish this,” you whispered desperately, but Frank only kept going. “You just look fucking hot,” you finally admitted when his mouth trailed towards your jaw. 
Frank lifted his face a bit to look at you. 
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” you huffed through heavy breaths. “The hair, the beard, the shirt, the jeans… just… I need to finish filling those in, and you’re being so …ugh… Can you go do something else now?” you practically pleaded. 
Frank laughed lightly under his breath, but instead of pulling away, he leaned in again. His tongue moved into action now, the tip gently stroking over your upper lip and making you whimper. 
“Frank”, you tried, as your eyes closed on their own accord while Frank maneuvered you until you were standing with your back to the couch again. “Need to…”
“Yeah, I know, baby, but I don’ think you’d be able to concentrate now. How ‘bout you lemme take responsibility for distractin’ you?” 
As he cupped one side of your face, his tongue licked over your bottom lip now. He hadn’t really kissed you yet, but you felt as winded as if he’d kissed you breathless. Your legs shook and it didn’t take any effort on his part to get you to sit down and lean back until you were lying flat on the couch with Frank slipping between your thighs. 
“You’re leaving the apartment once we’re done,” you pouted while simultaneously wrapping your legs over the back of his thighs. 
Frank’s loud bark of a laugh had your stomach jumping happily, right before your heart accelerated when Frank finally sealed your lips with his after he gave you a nod of agreement. His beard scraped over your mouth, and you loved the contrast of his soft lips and the coarser hairs of the short beard. You lifted your hands to his head and stroked your fingers through his hair, getting a low grunt from him whenever you pulled at it lightly. Frank made quick work taking off both of your tops, before his mouth was at your jaw once again and trailing a row of kisses all over it and down your throat. While he was busy driving you crazy with his mouth, his hands went to your pants to open them, before he leaned up far enough for him to pull them down along with your underwear. You were now fully naked under him, while he was still half clothed. The sight of him, with his flushed chest and large bulge in his jeans, had you squeezing his thighs with yours and reaching down for his fly. Frank grinned as he looked at your eager hands before he leaned down on top of you for another deep kiss. About to complain that he was stopping you from opening his jeans further, you could only gasp when one of his hands slipped between your legs and two large fingers stroked through your folds. Frank groaned into your mouth at your long moan of pleasure when his fingers slowly slid inside you one after the other. 
“Frank, please,” you breathed through the kiss, as you gripped at his shoulders while he was gently fucking you with his fingers. “Please, don’t tease me.” 
Frank made a soft humming sound before he lifted his head to slowly caress his lips over yours with the faintest of touches. For a second, you thought that he wouldn’t listen to you and tease you some more, something you usually did enjoy and Frank knew it, but he pressed a quick kiss to your lips before he knelt up. Your hands instantly shot down again, finishing what they’d started as they opened the jeans all the way and then pushed them down as far as possible to free his length. As you leaned up to try to get the pants lower, Frank grasped your wrists and gathered them in one palm before he was pushing you down on the couch again, your hands held over your head on the armrest. 
You could feel his breath hitting your skin as you both panted, your faces only a few inches away from each other, while Frank’s eyes bored into yours. Taking his weight on the hand holding yours captive, Frank used his other hand to guide himself inside you. You were unable to look away from his intense gaze as you gasped loudly when he slowly entered you, never stopping until his hips were flush with yours. Frank stayed like this for a few long seconds, until you keened and moved your hips instead, wordlessly begging him to move. Move he did, but he didn’t thrust. He gyrated his hips, grinding them into yours and making you feel his whole length as it moved inside you. It was the sweetest of torture, since it wasn’t enough to actually get you anywhere, but the pressure of his thick cock rubbing along your inner walls felt incredible all the same. 
“Frank, please,” you repeated, while your legs wrapped around his hips, and you tried to use the leverage to move up and down a bit, but Frank forced your hips down. 
You whined and looked into his eyes. You needed him to move so badly, it was driving you crazy. 
“Frank,” you gasped, eyes wide. “Please. Need you to make me come. Need you so much.” 
You knew that begging and asking for what you wanted would always get you exactly that, and you sometimes teased him with that knowledge, but you weren’t playing now. You truly needed him. 
As expected, Frank instantly complied. 
“Anythin’ you need, Sweetheart,” he rumbled, right before he pulled almost all the way out, only to snap his hips forward again. 
You cried out in bliss as your legs trembled over the back of his thighs, while Frank thrust inside you over and over again. 
“You gonna come for me like that?” he asked in a low voice, as he shifted his hips just so when he adjusted his grip on you. 
You could only nod, wide-eyed, as you hurtled towards your release. The orgasm took your breath away completely, leaving you with your mouth parted, but with no sound coming out of it for the first few seconds. Your next inhale was a shuddering gasp and a long moan, your whole body trembling with the force of your pleasure. Through the intensity of it all, you barely had the time to see Frank’s eyebrows coming together as his eyes closed as he came as well, his warm release shooting far inside you. You caught his mouth with yours as he leaned down to share a long and uncoordinated kiss, before he pressed his forehead to yours. He let go of your hands after another beat, letting you stretch your arms out before you wrapped them under his arms and around his back to hold him to you. 
“Think you can focus on those documents now?” Frank smiled, as he pressed a small kiss to your lips. 
You groaned and shut your eyes at the reminder, which had Frank chuckling under his breath. 
“Promise I’ll behave,” he added with a grin, as he rose but remained kneeling between your legs. 
“Go put on a hoodie, yeah?” you grumbled half-heartedly, accepting the hand Frank was extending to help you up. 
Frank nodded and vanished into the bedroom, while you headed into the bathroom to clean up. 
As you walked back out a few minutes later, fully dressed and presentable again, ready to deal with the paperwork, you skidded to a halt at the sight of Frank. 
“Are you trying to kill me?” you yelled, pointing at his chest. “You’re supposed to zip up the hoodie or put on a shirt and not…” you flailed your hands around. “Show off your chest, for crying out loud. Okay, out.” You pushed at Frank now, intending to have him leave like planned, but Frank laughed and caught your hands before kissing you on one corner of your mouth. 
“Okay, okay, okay,” he amended, making a show of zipping the hoodie up over the top of his chest when it had been open far under it at first, showing far too much skin for you to handle. 
“Thank you,” you huffed with a roll of your eyes and returned to the coffee table, sitting down in front of it. 
Now, where did you stop again?
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spicyvampire · 25 days
Text
Okay so after the whole Sakuna/Wansarut and Phaya/Tharn "characters description" fighter (protector)/healer+protector(mediator) post, now imma talk about about our resident Snake (PhD), Doctor Chalothorn being a fighter and well how do you convince a fighter to not fight?
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I've already made a whole gifset about this but I needed to put the stuff into words cuz u just can't say everything in a gifset so this post is gonna be about a few things, first of all, the way Charlothorn's goals shifted in the last 2 episodes, from wanting to kill Phaya so he can have Tharn, to wanting to save Tharn and Phaya's end not really mattering anymore, and second of all Tharn's role in this shift and where have we saw something similar to this shift before aka Wansarut and Sakuna and how Wansarut even did that
Same disclaimer as the last one applies : pulling this out of my ass from watching the show, these are raw out-of-order thoughts, ill try my best to separate but like the last post because I'm going to have to go back and forth between Wansarut (love of my life, talking about Wansarut has to be my favorite activity rn), Sakuna, Tharn (smooching him smooching him), Phaya and Chalothorn this might get hard to follow but hey that's what it's like inside my brain so welcome to the mess
Putting it under keep reading
So like I said in the last post, Chalothorn is a fighter, like you can't get more fighter than this, the man is literally the prince/ruler of Nagas and he is right in the middle of the battle field anytime there is a fight to be had, and like I said in Sakuna's part of the post he is a level that can probably can only be rivaled by Sakuna's brother, you can't be a higher level of Naga fighter from what I understand, so like how do you fight this man if you are Wansarut and Sakuna? (ep. 8)
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Keep in mind that : the answer is that they never were supposed to fight Chalothorn
SCENARIO 1 : Chalothorn wins
This is what we've seen in the show, Sakuna/Wansarut/Phaya/Tharn would never win against him in a fight because they just aren't strong enough to began with, Sakuna and his Garuda were not Chalothorn's level when he was alive, Wansarut is a healer/protector not a fighter, Phaya can only do ✨Sparkles✨ of Garuda powers as of rn and while Tharn can do some powerful protecting he is of the gang the person who is the less in contact with his past and magical self (other than for protecting Phaya magic, we have not even seen his Naga in this lifetime) and also his past self wasn't even a fighter, so it makes sense that Chalothorn just keep killing them and every single one of their reincarnations, he kills them so much that it was destroying his own soul (ep. 8) because surprise he is getting affected by the little cyclic karma thingy they got going on too, this isn't just about Wansarut/Sakuna and PhayaTharn, Chalothorn is trapped in this shit too
Clearly fighting is not the answer, because even if you win, which Chalothorn has been doing a lot of, you still lose, Chalothorn is losing control of his Naga form, not only does it destroy his soul (ep. 8) but he might just not be able to turn into his human form anymore aka would be forced to be a Naga forever (ep. 9)
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Another lost of this is that he keeps losing Wansarut and having to wait for the cycle to start again so he would get another chance, like the level of psychological damage getting done to him because he kills the one he loves and he is always left behind alone to wait is enough to drive anybody insane (ep. 11)
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And I think that's one of the reasons why it took him so long to understand that he should let Wansarut/Tharn go, because when you do something so despicable and keep doing it over and over again you have to justifies your bad actions to yourself so you don't break and the more you justifies them the harder it becomes to see clearly through them, so you just keep doing it, like Chalothorn probably hates himself more than he even hates Phaya or love Tharn at this point because he keeps killing reincarnations of Wansarut, like this is his reaction to killing Wansarut the first time, falling to his knees screaming and everything (ep. 8), the cognitive dissonance in that man's brain must be insane
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SCENARIO 2 : Phaya wins
Now let's imagine for a second there that they did win, Phaya succeeded in killing Charlothorn, and then what? Isn't Charlothorn just gonna reincarnate and come back for them again? Like yes it might take some times but it will happen, and then Phaya and Tharn would be the one destroying their souls and making their karma worst, that's just not a solution
Also we saw with Narong's case part of the show that "victim turned attacker" is not the answer (anyways that's what the show says), when Tharn and Phaya are talking to the abbot at the end of episode 5 the abbot keep repeating that over and over again killing is not the answer
When Phaya Says "Those victims are left with no choice but to fight back in order to survive. They have to kill." The abbot answers "The basic code of moral conducts for human beings like us is the 5 precepts. One should be abstained from killing other living beings. These precepts can bring peace and happiness to your family and the society. Undertaking the 5 precepts will benefit not only yourself but also the people around you." Basically straight up telling them that [not killing] is the only answer that will bring peace to everyone
Also so many parallels can be made between Narong and Chalothorn (which is probably why it was easy for Chalothorn to possess Narong to attack Phaya but let's not get into that), because like isn't this Chalothorn? (ep. 5)
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His mind is so clouded by anger and wanting to kill Phaya and getting Tharn that he is obsessed with it, he literally do not see anything else, specially if Phaya is in the room and/or mentioned, like I said a bit higher in this post, he hates Phaya, but he probably hates himself too, and so much hate and anger just blinds people
Also sidenote that I'm not really gonna dive into : How do you think Tharn would feel about Phaya killing Chalothorn, knowing what u know about him? like Tharn loves Chalothorn as a friend, and that's even if Chalothorn is responsible for all the bad things in his life (ep. 12)
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Tharn may be looking at Chalothorn saying this but he said "Please stop killing each other." he could not be more clearly talking to both of them, he doesn't want Chalothorn to kill Phaya but he also doesn't want Phaya to kill Chalothorn
SCENARIO 3 : Tharn Wins
Now lemme say this, you can literally never convince a fighter by fighting him, like if you've ever had a fight/argument with someone you know that you cannot reach a compromise in the heat of the fight when everyone is angry and losing the control of their emotions, it just doesn't work, but what does work in the context of the show?
Wansarut and Sakuna
And now I'm back to Wansarut (<3<3<3<3<3<3) and Sakuna because well Wansarut did change a fighter's mind before already, this is part of Wansarut's power that's why I also describe Wansarut as a mediator, and what did Wansarut do exactly?
Well Wansarut healed Sakuna, even if he is from the enemy side, and took care of him and acted in a way that was protective of him, even if again Sakuna is an enemy of Wansarut's people (literally brother of the Garuda king) because that Wansarut's character, Wansarut is a healer/a protect/a mediator that's how Wansarut fights (ep. 8)
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Then Wansarut tough Sakuna about Naga culture (Naga offering and breathing fire to pay respect to Buddha, on the 15th nigh of the 11th waxing moon)
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And while being in love with each other did facilitate this change of view in Sakuna (which would later turn him a bit into a protector of Wansarut), you really do not need to be for this to work, like the best way to change people views on some things truly is just to expose them to the thing from the POV of the people living it, when nobody is in any immediate danger
And that is exactly how Tharn succeeded in convincing Chalothorn that the love between Phaya and him is good, by being there for Chalothorn and taking care of him, and being patient, until Chalothorn was ready to let him go on his own, not in the heat of of fight when everyone is angry and putting the blame on each other, which was again so healer/ protector/mediator of him like I talked about in my other post
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Tharn and Chalothorn : the final
So with Wansarut and Sakuna we saw how Tharn could change Chalothorn's mind and what really does work, now imma dive into the last 2 episodes of this show aka the shift in Chalothorn
So in episode 6, Chalothorn says this
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And at that time I think those words were true cuz that's literally what he has been doing isn't it? Like everytime he lost, both Wansarut and Sakuna's reincarnations died, so he was "okay" with killing Wansarut, as long as it meant that Sakuna was also dead and they weren't together (crazy way to fight cognitive dissonance if you ask me) but then something changed around episode 11 because Chalothorn started saving Tharn even if Phaya was still alive? (Ep. 11) (ep.12)
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The importance of Chalothorn saving Tharn those 2 times, is that 1) now Tharn knows what the fuck is going on and 2) (like I said in the other post) Tharn end up understanding that Chalothorn can be talked too and reasoned with (the abbot would call it enlightenment), because in that 2nd saving he told Chalothorn to not kill Montee, and Chalothorn listened
Sidenote : Wansarut also did tell Chalothorn to not kill Sakuna and Chalothorn did listen that time too, like Wansarut has a BIG influence on this man (wish we saw their relationship before the mess), the only reason why the fight did continue was because Sakuna did not let Wansarut go
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Why did he listen then? because he loves Wansarut, it really is as simple as that, and that's why he also listened to Tharn with Montee, because our chronically involuntary celibate man is head over dick for Tharn (valid and relatable)
So remember when I was talking about cognitive dissonance and stuff, well by ep 12, Chalothorn cannot justifies killing Tharn anymore, he is tired, he is turning into a Naga, and he cannot stand seeing another reincarnation of Wansarut die again, but most importantly he cannot stand to see Tharn die by his own hands
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It's easy to concentrate on Phaya's distress in this scene but Chalothorn is in as much distress as Phaya, you can hear Chalothorn's voice break when Tharn is dying in both Phaya and his arms after asking them to stop killing each other, they are both screaming Tharn's name, and this time Chalothorn just listen because this is too much, his hatred for Phaya is just not important anymore, killing Phaya is just not as important anymore because anyways Tharn did choose him didn't he? isn't that what he wanted? even if Tharn clearly is in love with Phaya, Tharn did choose to come with him, so in a way none of this shit even fucking matters anymore
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So for the 3rd time, he saves Tharn, this time by literally giving Tharn his soul so he would live (wish we saw him breaking down over Tharn dying in his arms in the Naga caves until he ended up giving Tharn his soul tbh), Chalothorn chooses to save a life instead of ending one and thus ending the curse on his part
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runnning-outof-time · 11 months
Text
Birmingham | Tommy Shelby x Reader (Part 20)
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Previous Part
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader
Summary: Plans of taking over the tracks get thwarted quickly for the Shelbys as trouble makes its way into Birmingham. Tommy tells (Y/N) to stay away, but of course she can't for too long. Everything gets laid out on the table after a scary experience shakes the both of them.
Warnings: drinking, series typical violence, canon death, injury, blood
Word Count: 4426
A/N: here it is everyone…the final chapter of Birmimgham! Thank you so much to those of you who have stuck with this story…through the break and the drawn out postings. I finished it for you. I’d love to know what you think of how it ended (since I went with the winner of the poll; which was giving a ending that felt finished). Enjoy! :)
A/N 2: the italicized dialogue is taken from the show. I’d also like to give a special thanks to @alicent-targaryen for making the amazing gifsets that helped me write this chapter so quickly — they gave me so much inspiration! :) also if you’d ever like to know what the original ending for this was…feel free to reach out to me…if I get enough interest, I may just write it as a short.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
The story is finished! — I hope you enjoyed!
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"Is Tommy here, or has he left already?" (Y/N) asked Polly after she entered the Watery Lane home. She found the older woman working on cleaning the mantle in the living room, and she couldn't stop herself from blurting the question out.
"He should still be upstairs," Polly answered, not even bothering to turn and properly greet (Y/N). It seemed as though she was deep into working on something.
"Can I go up?" (Y/N) asked hesitantly, not wanting to cross any lines.
Her question made Polly turn and look at her. The older woman quirked an eyebrow, probably wondering why the question was even being asked. "If you wish to. His door is at the end of the hall," she answered (Y/N)'s question. (Y/N) nodded, saying a quick thank you before she made her way to the stairs of the home.
She walked down the hall, stopping at the last door and taking a pause before she knocked on it. "Come," his voice came from inside the room, making her twist the knob and open the door. She saw him standing at the dresser, finishing up shaving.
"Hi, Tommy," she said softly, making him stop what he was doing and turn to face her.
"It's early, (Y/N)," he commented, surprised by her presence.
"I know, but I was unable to stay away...ever since you told me today would be the day; my mind won't stop," she explained her reason for being there. She'd been worried about everything that would happen today and couldn't stop herself from going to see Tommy before he left for the races.
Tommy finished up what he was doing, grabbing a rag so that he could wipe his face off before he then gave his attention to (Y/N). He could see the slight bit of worry behind her eyes, and he hated that it was there. For a moment he felt bad that he'd been the one to create it, but worry or not, he knew that she understood what had to be done.
"When will you go?" she asked him, breaking the silence that had fallen in the room.
"In a few hours," he gave a vague estimation, "I need to touch base with my brothers. There'll be a family meeting at half ten; there we'll discuss what will be done. I'd say that we'll be leaving shortly after that," he explained what had been on his list to accomplish. "You can come to the meeting, if you'd like," he then extended an invitation.
"I'll come," (Y/N) nodded, making her decision rather quickly. She figured that hearing his plan in full might serve to give her some solace.
"Good," Tommy nodded, a ghost of a smile teetering on his lips, "we'll be set after this, (Y/N)," he said to her then, his words riddled with confidence. (Y/N) smiled upon hearing it. She loved how self-assured he was; it was almost contagious.
"I'm worried," she said then, retreating back to her own way of thinking. She was itching to reach out and take hold of him from the second she'd walked in, but she didn't know if that would be received well or not. The last thing she wanted was him upset with her as he embarked on this big scheme.
"You shouldn't be," he assured her, "we've got the Lees on our side thanks to John and Esme, and Kimber will think that we're going to fight that family instead of taking to the pitches. He won't expect what'll actually happen," he gave her the rundown of his plan, still holding a great deal of confidence in it. Things were going to go his way today; he could already feel it.
"Ok," (Y/N) nodded along, trying to switch her thinking for his, "and I'll stay here...with Pol to make sure everything runs well on this end," she addressed her part in the plan.
"Good," Tommy nodded. He paused then, pulling his timepiece out so that he could check it. "Love, I should go now," he said as he slipped the watch back into its pocket.
"Ok," she repeated what she'd just said, "I just wanted to see you before you left."
"Come to the meeting," he said to her, a slight smile on his face.
"I will," she assured him, smiling also as she nodded her head.
"Come on," he said then, moving forward and placing his hand to the small of her back as he led her out of the bedroom and over to the stairs. She descended them first with him following behind. "I'll see you at half ten," he told her, walking to the door as she decided she'd stay back and see if Polly needed any help before then. It wouldn't be long until the time for the meeting came anyway; she might as well stick around.
Polly did in fact need help with minor things, and the women quickly got busy with them, passing the time between the meeting like (Y/N) hoped they would. It wasn't long until everyone was gathered in the empty betting shop; all eyes focused on Tommy as he explained the plan (Y/N) had got a preview of in full detail.
"Any other questions?" Tommy asked once he was finished explaining the plans. He looked around the room, waiting for anyone to speak up.
"Yes," it was Polly who answered as she made her way to the door that separated the betting floor from the home, "does anyone object if I bring a newcomer to the meeting?" she asked, looking around the room. Silence came in response, making her move over to the door so that she could open it slightly and whisper "come on," to whoever it was on the other side. She then opened the door wider to show Ada, who had Karl in her arms. "I'd like to introduce the newest member of the Shelby clan," she announced, a smile on her face.
(Y/N)'s cheeks were hurting from the wideness of her smile as her friend took a step further into the room. It was so good to see her back with her family again. Arthur was the one to start the clapping, and soon the room was filled with applause as Ada walked into the room. She stopped where (Y/N) was standing and gave her a smile, to which (Y/N) sent one of her own back.
"Welcome home, Ada," Tommy said to his sister, a smile forming on his lips. It warmed (Y/N)'s heart to see the progress being made.
She then explained the baby's name, earning some laughs from the group that was gathered around her. Arthur then went over to see the baby, taking him from Ada's arms and placing his peaked cap on top of his head. (Y/N) laughed along with the rest of the group as John poked fun at his older brother. Ada sent (Y/N) a smile before Tommy addressed her, asking if he was forgiven. (Y/N) stayed behind and watched Ada move over to him, telling him he was. She felt her heart swell as they shared a hug.
"It's so good to see you back with your family," (Y/N) said to Ada once she'd come back to her side. Tommy and the other men had gotten together to talk finer details of what would be going down. (Y/N) decided to stay with the women instead of learning more of the plan, feeling more comfortable watching Esme make exaggerated faces at the baby than hearing about how they were going to take over the races.
After things were finished at the shop, Tommy and the men decided to go to the Garrison to have a drink before they hit the road for the races. (Y/N) offered to join and help out, knowing that things would go smoother if there was another set of hands - hands that knew what they were doing - behind the bar pouring drinks.
Things were going well. (Y/N) was pouring with Tommy and the two had slipped into a comfortable routine. She wasn't going to lie, she quite enjoyed working in these close quarters with him. All was well...until it wasn't.
Arthur entered the Garrison with Jeremiah trailing close behind him. Both men were walking like they were on a mission. "Tommy," Arthur called for his brother, his gruff voice making just about all of the celebrations stop. "I need to talk to you," he said, his seriousness holding as he nodded his head to the stockroom that was behind the bar. Tommy glanced at (Y/N), who was becoming more confused by the second, before he followed his brother and friend into the room.
They were only gone for a matter of seconds before coming back out. "(Y/N)..." he started, coming right over to her, a sense of urgency in his movements and vocal tone. "(Y/N), I need you to leave now, ok?" he said to her, his eyes wide as he spoke; a tell-tale sign that he was now under pressure and needed things to be done timely and in a certain way.
"Wha...why?" she asked, her brows furrowed in confusion.
"Billy Kimber and his men are coming this way," he told her, "I need you to stay clear of here, you understand me?" he searched her eyes then, his hands blindly searching for hers. It didn't take much to find them, and when he did, he squeezed them for added effect, "stay away from here," he told her again.
"Ok. Ok, I will," she nodded her head, sensing his urgency and falling in line with it, "I'll go and be with Pol and Ada, and I'll wait there for you," she then told him where he could find her.
"Good," Tommy nodded lightly, feeling relieved that she wasn't going to be mixed up in the middle of this developing plan. He was going to need to fight Kimber on his own turf now. It was something he could do, but he wanted to make sure that the people he cared for the most were out of harm's way. "Go on," he said then, dropping her hands so that he could let her leave.
(Y/N)'s heart dropped slightly at the abrupt loss of warmth his hands were giving her, but she didn't have much time to dwell on it as she was following his orders, exiting the Garrison at a hasty speed so that she could get to Watery Lane before all hell broke loose.
Tommy watched her as she went, keeping his eyes on her until she was out of his sight before he focused on the men that had gathered in front of him, waiting for their leader to give them direction.
(Y/N) was out of breath when she finally got to Watery Lane. She entered the house promptly, hoping that either one, or both, of the women that she was looking for would be present. To her relief, they both were sitting in the living room.
"Where have you run from?" Polly questioned her, a look of confusion forming on her face.
"I...I just came...Tommy told me to..." she stammered out, resting her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath, hoping that doing so would allow her to get out a complete sentence.
"Come, sit down, love," Polly coaxed her over to the open chair and (Y/N) listened, moving over to sit and take a few more calming breaths. "Tell us when you're ready," she said to the younger woman, both her and Ada waiting intently for the news it seemed she had.
"I ran from the Garrison. The plans have changed...Billy Kimber's on his way here to make a stand. Tommy told me to stay away from the tavern. He thinks that it's going to happen there," (Y/N) explained once her breathing was normal again.
"Bloody hell," Polly hissed, exhaling a sigh as she heard the news, "they're going to get themselves killed."
"I don't know any of the finer details...I just know that they're going to fight them here now," (Y/N) stated, trying to push down the worry that was bubbling up inside of her.
"I've got to go," Ada finally spoke in the midst of her rushing to stand from the couch.
(Y/N)'s brows furrowed as she watched her friend move around the room, grabbing the carriage she'd brought with her so that she could transfer a sleeping Karl into it. "Ada, wait...what are you doing?" she asked, confusion present in her tone.
"I'm going to go make these bloody men see sense," Ada spoke through gritted teeth, making it apparent that anger and frustration were coursing through her. She moved over to the archway that led to the door before stopping and looking at the women, "because I know the finer details of the day, and I refuse to stand by and let this happen," she didn't wait for a response to her pointed statement after uttering it, instead turning and walking through the archway and out the door.
"What does she mean?" (Y/N) asked Polly as soon as the door shut. She was so confused right now. Polly just looked defeated.
"Freddie was to be broken out of his transport earlier today...he was going to come home and help with the effort at the races, and this was all to be done in accordance to Tommy's plan," Polly filled (Y/N) in on what Ada was getting at.
(Y/N) sighed as she heard what the older woman had to say. "She's going to go and confront them, isn't she?" she asked in a blank tone.
"She very well may," Polly didn't give a straightforward answer. Ada was a Shelby after all...Shelbys did what they wanted and rarely cared about the dangers that stood in their way.
(Y/N) knew this all too well. Ada was going to go and confront these two gangs of men. She stood from the chair with an exasperated sigh. Tommy's voice echoed in her mind as she stood; warning her not to go anywhere near the Garrison. She pushed it back, knowing that that was exactly where her friend was going. "I'm going to go and try to stop her, Pol," she informed the other woman as she walked towards the archway.
"Be careful, (Y/N)," Polly offered some words of advice, making (Y/N) nod before she walked through the archway and out of the Watery Lane home.
"I want you all to look at me!" (Y/N) heard Ada's voice echo through the empty streets as she ran as fast as she could to the Garrison. Upon turning the corner, she saw two lines of men, the groups facing each other. Ada was smack-dab in the middle, addressing both lines as they had their guns pointed at each other. She's going to get herself killed! (Y/N) thought to herself as she picked up her pace. "Who will be wearing black for you? Think about them. Think about them right now...and fight if you want to, but that baby ain't moving anywhere, and neither am I," she continued, her voice raw and full of emotion.
"Ada!" (Y/N) called to her friend as she made her way through the line of men whom she recognized to be the Peaky Blinders. "Ada, you can't be doing this!" she exclaimed, her eyes frantic as she rushed out into the middle of the standoff in hopes to get her friend to see some sense. "This isn't your war to get into the middle of. This isn't the place for you, or for your baby," she insisted, her eyes locked onto the other woman's as she tried to get her out of the middle of it all.
"I won't move, (Y/N)," Ada stayed persistent.
"If not for your own safety, do it for Karl," (Y/N) didn't back down, "this isn't your war to try to stop," she repeated her previous statement, trying to keep her voice steady as adrenaline started to fill her. She tried so hard not to think of what was standing on either side of her at the moment, putting her sole focus on her friend. "Come on...move for Karl," she said again, her voice softer now as she nodded to the carriage that was off to the side. They held each other's gaze before Ada just barely nodded her head. (Y/N) saw it though, and she moved Ada off to the side, hyper-aware of all of the eyes following her.
"She's right you know..." Billy Kimber was the first to speak up once the women were off to the side, "why should all you men die?" he asked the men surrounding him before looking forward, "it should just be them who've caused it," he accentuated his statement by brandishing his weapon and firing it twice.
(Y/N) squeezed her eyes shut and spun to shield both Ada and the carriage as best she could as pandemonium broke out in the street. Several men were screaming and Karl's cries had intensified before there was one more gunshot.
Tommy was the next person to speak. "Enough!" he yelled, causing everything to halt at once. (Y/N), even though her eyes were still closed, felt relieved that he was still speaking, because that meant he was still alive. "Kimber and me fought this battle one on one. It's over. Go home to your families!" he addressed the men standing across from him.
Nothing else was said as the sound of footsteps rang out, signaling to (Y/N) that people were walking away. She heard Tommy mumble something to someone, and more footsteps were heard then. She stayed by Ada and Karl, unable to really move as she took some steadying breaths.
"Ada..." a man's voice came from the women's left.
"Freddie," Ada breathed, moving from the carriage to go to the man who had approached them.
"Don't scare us like that," he said to her, allowing her to fall into his arms and cling to him. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on the top of her head as he held her tight against him.
(Y/N) smiled softly as she watched them reunite, feeling the emotion radiating off of them. She finally looked back at the street then, seeing that everyone else had cleared off of it. Worried about the rest of the men - especially one in particular - she left the couple's side and hurried to the doors of the Garrison.
She was met with agonizing screams as she opened the doors, and immediately realized that they were coming from Tommy. Hearing them made her heart drop to her stomach. Had he been shot? she wondered, worry immediately filling her body.
Arthur was the one to notice her presence amidst trying to help get the bullet out of his brother's shoulder, "go and wait in the stockroom, love, you don't want to be seein' this," he told her and she nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat and not asking any questions before she made a b-line to the stockroom behind the bar.
She waited there as time passed painstakingly slowly. Hearing Tommy scream out in pain was breaking her heart. She wished there was something, anything, she could do to help.
Then everything became quiet again. She heard some talking, but it was muffled by the door that she'd closed. She decided to stay in the room even though it seemed that the worst of it was over. A few more minutes passed before the door opened to reveal Tommy.
(Y/N) didn't wait for another second. She was walking over to him the second she saw him, her hands raising so that she could take his cheeks into them and bring his lips to hers. She kissed him passionately and with everything she had in her. Tommy's hands found the sides of her waist so that he could hold her against him, prolonging the kiss...as if she was going to pull away anyway.
"What was that for?" he breathed out once they'd pulled away.
"For scaring me," she answered him, an involuntary shudder coursing through her as she let her eyes drop to the bloody shirt that he was wearing. He's ok...he's standing in front of you, she told herself, her eyes finding his again.
Tommy chuckled at her statement, squeezing her waist slightly before he leaned in and kissed her again. (Y/N) happily accepted it, slipping her hands from his cheeks to the back of his neck as she reveled in the feeling of their lips moving together seamlessly. Nothing ever felt this good.
"And that was for?" she asked once she pulled away, breathless this time. She couldn't stop the smile from forming on her face as she looked at him again.
"An apology for scaring you," he told her, his words making her tip her head back slightly as she let out a laugh.
His eyes were still on her when she looked at him again. His gaze made butterflies dance around in her stomach, and she couldn't help but encircle her arms around his neck so that she could hug him; her head resting against the uninjured side of his chest as she did so. She brought one of her hands down from the back of his neck to gently lift his jacket where the blood was present on his shirt. She couldn't see much, but she still had to ask: "you're ok, are you?" Her voice was much softer now, worry creeping back after the excitement of the kisses faded.
"I'm fine, love," he answered her, his voice coming out in a similar tone. "Come on...have a drink with me," he said then, loosening his hold on her waist. She got the message, dropping her hands from his neck so that he could step away and lead her out of the stockroom and back into the bar area. "Under the bar should be a bottle of champagne..." he started off as he walked around to the opposite side of the bar so that he could stand across from her.
"Going for fancy today, are we?" (Y/N) couldn't help but grin as she grabbed the unopened bottle from one of the lower shelves.
"Figured we should...since we're celebrating," Tommy grinned right back at her, watching as she set the bottle on the bartop before going to grab two glasses. As she did that, he turned and rested his back against the bar, taking some of the weight off of his feet. He let out a sigh as he tipped his head back, reveling in a moment of peace after so much chaos.
"Is everything ok?" (Y/N) asked after she turned around and found him.
"Yeah," he breathed, pushing himself off of the bar and turning around to stand straight and face her again, nodding his head then for extra effect. (Y/N) nodded back at him before she uncorked the bottle and worked on pouring it into both of the cups. She tried her best not to mess up under his gaze. She smiled at him once she was finished, handing him a glass before she picked her own up and took a sip from it. "How is it?" he asked, his eyes not leaving hers.
"It's good," (Y/N) answered with a nod and a soft smile.
"You know..." he began then, pausing a moment before continuing, "someone I trust once told me, and I believe they told me here; in this very spot...that people fall for people that they know; people that they've been around and feel comfortable with..." he trailed off, and (Y/N) felt her throat go dry. Those words sounded all too familiar...like the words that she'd told him when he was grappling with Ada being with Freddie. He took a deep breath before continuing, "I want you to help me, (Y/N). With the business, the family, with the whole fucking thing. I want you, no, I need you in my life."
"Tommy this is, wow..." she couldn't finish her sentence, taken back by what he'd just proclaimed. All of the dancing around her feelings for him had led to this...the moment she'd been secretly hoping for for so long. But now that it was here, she was fumbling. "I'm not sure of what to say..." she blubbered out, her nervousness shining clear in her words. She'd never wanted something more in her life...why had she chosen this moment to be awkward?!
"Yes would be a good thing to say," he said, cracking a grin as he noticed her trying to fight back her nervousness, "it'd be a great thing to say, actually."
"Then yes," she breathed, a smile breaking onto her face.
"Then yes," he repeated what she'd said, smiling also as he leaned across the bar to kiss her. She caught his chin, holding him there and making the kiss longer than he intended...not that he was complaining.
"I think we'd ought to leave," (Y/N) said after they'd pulled away from each other, "we've had enough excitement for one day...you should get home," she suggested.
"And what will you do?" he asked her, wondering if they'd now be parting ways after all that just happened. He really didn't want that to be the case.
"I thought that maybe I'd come with you...someone's got to make sure that you keep clean bandages on your shoulder," she answered him, unable to stop the smile from creeping onto her lips.
Tommy caught that, knowing what else she could be thinking that would make such a smile form on her face. "I like the sound of that," he said to her, also grinning before she walked around the bar to come to his side.
The day had truly been won. Not only had Tommy defeated Billy Kimber, but he'd finally let (Y/N) know how he felt about her...and to his relief, she'd felt the same about him.
And for (Y/N)...she had a feeling that she wasn't leaving Birmingham any time soon. That was something she was perfectly ok with.
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Tagged: @mgcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @l1-l4 @chlorrox @lostgirl219 @woofgocows @bdudette @mrkdvidal1989 @stephhevring @fictional-hooman @httyd-marauders @nataliewalker93 @rangerelik @thecraziestcrayon @cilliansangel @shaddixlife @tracysnook
SERIES MASTERLIST
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Twenty years ago the I Will Remember You Fic Marathon (IWRY) was born. Originated by Leni, then passed on to Chrislee, to Dark Star, and then Angelus2Hot, IWRY has remained the premiere event on the Buffy/Angel calendar and the centre of the B/A fandom itself.
This year we are hoping to mark these two decades of fan creativity and storytelling by making it the biggest IWRY in years. 
In this spirit, one of our team approached the current moderator to ask if we could join her in the running of the event. She did not feel this was necessary. We respect her decision and all the work she has put into keeping the marathon going these past years. We wish her nothing but the best with it now and in the future.
However, we believe IWRY is deeply rooted in our fandom as a collective and community experience. We want to create spaces and events where all who wish to participate can participate. It is for this reason we have decided to run our own I Will Remember You Fic Marathon.
Sign-ups for IWRY Fic Marathon are open now. 
If you are a writer or even just writer-curious, please put your name down and join us as we celebrate all things Bangel. We will accept any piece of fanfiction, of any rating, that is 500 or more words long and focused on the relationship of Buffy/Angel (and/or Buffy/Angelus). If drabbles are your jam, we will be happy to include those among the Another Minute bonus stories at the end of the event.
We have also decided to open up the Marathon to other forms of art. All we ask is that it is centred on Buffy/Angel, and that you put your best foot forward! 
We are now accepting submissions of artwork such as:
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Please sign up for artwork submissions here! 
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The stories will be posted to a 2023 Collection on the I Will Remember You Marathon Archive. We will provide clear instructions about how to do this closer to the event.
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Please reach out to us here or at [email protected] with any questions.
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desidarling123 · 7 months
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SAB Scene Breakdown: Inej's Hallucination
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OK, so I had actually been meaning to write and publish some meta on this particular scene (and just tons of SAB S2 meta, in general) in the weeks after the second season of the show came out. But life has been crazy recently, so I truly never found the time.
However, I reblogged a certain gifset a few days/weeks ago, slapped some tags on it, and realized there might indeed be some interest in some more #detailed thoughts.
The analysis that follows is at a pretty minute level of detail (and all of course based on MY views) so... take that with a grain of salt.
Also - fair warning - it's long as hell 😂 but entertaining, I hope!
I find this whole sequence in general super fascinating - it's one of my favorite scenes in the second season, and one that's also arguably subject to the absolute worst takes in fandom (iykyk... and if you don't, well, you're about to find out.)
So, let's get into it:
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We start off strong with a very specific choice, made early on: it's not Inej seducing Kaz; rather, it's Kaz who's drawing Inej into this vision.
I get a bit more into the broader implications of that a bit later, but it's definitely important that it's done this way, rather than the other way around.
It's also, very notably, an inverse of this scene from a few episodes earlier:
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What's unique about that previous scene is that in that moment, he's deliberately pushing her away (for reasons, mind you, that she's not entirely privy to, but definitely hurt her regardless - even if she pretends not to care about it to his face later on).
This is different. Instead of pushing her away, he is asking her to stay.
The choice of words is specific too: the word 'disappear' most obviously references her status as his spider. But it might also be an apt description of her own personal trappings, of 'disappearing' when in the throes of trauma-induced pressure.
Some atmospheric details I love:
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Their IRL confrontation was in his office-cum-bedroom (👀shutup), a tiny, crammed space that matched the tension of that scene. This is the opposite of that - the room has a more open layout, imbuing the whole sequence with a more relaxed vibe. We can even see his cane chilling on the table behind him, just in reaching distance.
The DeKappel painting which they jointly stole in the books (and presumably on the show as well) is behind them.
Fire burning as a symbol for latent passion is not exactly groundbreaking imagery, but don't fix what ain't broke, amirite? :P
Malina, very notably, gets the same fire imagery treatment in their own love scene as well:
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Will it show up again in a future season for kanej? Between that and, well, the recurring church imagery, we're in for a tossup, folks
But anyways. Back to the scene at hand.
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You'll notice Inej goes back to a formal stance, hands behind her back, like she's preparing for a debrief or for an assignment. It's for a few seconds, if that, but it shows that she's grasping at some semblance of normalcy in this decidedly not-normal vision.
That facade lasts for all of, two seconds, tops, when he does this:
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It's sexy! It's intimate! There's knives involved!
Okay, but seriously, for the sake of time I actually will not get into a deeper discussion of the ~implications~ because I'm sure it's been done a zilllion times before and it's also fairly obvious lol
Now, the one thing I *do* want to pivot to here is that by this point, both Inej and the audience understand that there is something very subtly yet fundamentally different about hallucination!Kaz.
But what is it?
Speaking on this scene, Freddy Carter had a quote (that I cannot be arsed to find rn) where he basically said that he deferred to Amita when playing hallucination!Kaz because "she (Amita) knows better (than I do) what it is that Inej likes about Kaz"
And what is it, exactly, that she likes about him? The next few gifs tell all, using actions rather than words.
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This is her reaction to him pulling her knives from her. And what I find so interesting is that she is so (rightfully) startled....
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But that is absolutely NOT the expression on his face at all.
In fact, he's remarkably self-assured.
And THAT, I think, is the crux of 'what it is she likes about him', as Frreddy said.
She likes his decisiveness, the single-minded precision with which he operates.
She's seen him apply it to every last scheme, every seemingly-hopeless situation... to damn near everything in the world, really, but her.
But here, in the depths of her hallucination, he does.
There are none of his usual hangups, none of their typically frustrating back-and-forths.
No. Here, he doesn't hesitate. He wants her, and he makes it known.
Striking, sexy stuff, to say least.
Let's go on:
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Nothing to add here except that I'm obsessed with the way their heads turn at the same time here.
It's funny, because for all their personal hang-ups when it comes to physical intimacy, these two are SURPRISINGLY physically attuned to each other.
Goes to show, really, how much both of their problems are in their heads (obviously) -- and how, when they're actually ready to heal, relying on their intuition may be a better approach than getting too cerebral about it.
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Again, Kaz does not break eye contact with her here, and it's such a contrast to what he might have instead done if this were happening in real life - in fact, does happen, in real life, though I'd argue that isn't exactly his fault.
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I love that we get a moment where Inej looks down and sees his hand hovering near her waist, just so that it's made explicitly clear what he's asking for and what the ~implications~ are.
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And then, she says yes! Enthusiastically, I might add.
Not but seriously the sheer want, the little touch of eagerness on her face kills me here. She's never had this experience before - has only ever known men violating her in the most horrible way possible - and yet this tiny little thing, of Kaz asking her for consent, means so much.
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Oh my God Kaz is so sexy here sorry no words anyway carrying on.
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Now even after she said yes you can see this sudden little beat of hesitation on her face, like she's maybe not sure what's going to happen or if Kaz is going to do what she asked. For her it's a moment of incredible vulnerability, even though Kaz is the one sort of making the advances on her - because this one time, she actually gets to say yes.
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I think that shot of his arm going around her waist is so gorgeous and so sensual - but as we pan up we can see that maybe all isn't well.
Now, Amita also really does a fantastic job at portraying the turbulence of Inej's emotions -- she goes from clearly wanting it and saying 'yes', to visibly panicking once he acts on it. We see her shift around in his grip and even swallow nervously, blink-blink-blinking herself back into the moment.
Her response is reminiscent of this passage from the books:
But what might have happened if he'd spoken that night? If he had willingly offered her some part of his heart? What if he had come to her, laid his gloves aside, drawn her to him, kissed her mouth? Would she have pulled him closer, kissed him back? Could she have been herself in such a moment, or would she have broken apart and vanished, a doll in his arms, a girl who could never quite be whole?
You can see the very beginning of that sort of panic start to set in, here. This is completely uncharted territory for Inej - her own desire, the shame and baggage that comes with it, is all getting uncovered for the first time in what is arguably the 'safest' way possible - within the confines of her own mind - and yet, she's still panicking.
More on that in a bit. Let's keep going.
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Anyways well Freddy's got a huge hand sorry anyway 
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I love the way she closes her eyes here. And you can see again it's not without effort - like there's still conflict within her, you can see all of those different emotions warring within her - but she is trying to let herself have this moment. She's trying to take comfort in this touch that she so desperately wants and yet hasn't had any sort of good connotations with in recent history. 
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She also opens her eyes just as he starts to lean in and I think that was a great, deliberate choice on Amita and Freddy's part.
It's that precise moment, really, when it becomes super super clear to her what's about to happen.
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No notes, I just really love this forehead lean, it's that little bit of tenderness and intimacy that she's been subconsciously craving.
 Again, it's fascinating to me that we can see all of Inej's nervous tics coming into play here, but for hallucination!Kaz there's absolutely no hesitation at any point whatsoever.
It looks like, for all intents and purposes, he is going to kiss her.
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And then at the very very last second you see him move back, ever-so-slightly --
and then she moves all the way back and delivers her line:
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Ouch. Like a punch to the gut. True, but still ouch.
Now one could probably ask, in hypotheticals: why didn't he actually kiss her at this moment? And the answer to that simply is: this is her hallucination, you know? Even though she's not conscious of it (she's dying lol), she's the one with all the power, here.
And truthfully, whether she knows it or not, nothing is going to happen in her hallucination if she doesn't want it to.
But wait, you might say. Doesn't she want to kiss Kaz?
Like that original excerpt from the book indicates, it's complicated. Everything pertaining to desire generally will be, for her.
Not that her subconscious doesn't put up a good ol' fight. Hallucination!Kaz, you have to remember, isn't so much Kaz as he is a very precise amalgamation of her own memories and desires.
And boy, does he make a good argument:
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The word want, again, spoken so directly here - it's that sort of straightforward speech that neither party is actually really capable of (at this point) in their arcs, not when it comes to each other.
Again, Kaz is behaving perfectly in the prescribed character of his hallucination persona - direct, confident, not rattled in the slightest.
It's interesting also that he doesn't say: this is real. He isn't able to lie to her in her own fantasy, but he does instead tell her exactly what she wants to hear, which is arguably even more dangerous.
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And what I feel so terrible about is you can see this tiny little spark this little bit of hope on her face that she has.
She wants to believe this so so badly. She wants it, damn it!
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So this time, she actually moves closer, crosses that distance between them. 
You can't see it super well in this gif, but you can see a little tiny muscle twitch in her jaw, a nervous swallow as she's bracing for him to kiss her the second time. And once again, Kaz isn't hesitating, there isn't any note of that discordant thing that they have in real life from his end.
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Now another thing that drives me crazy is people claiming that they did kiss in the scene like bro. Bro. Freddy and Amita did not shoot this scene at no less three separate angles for you to tell us that they kissed!! They didn't kiss, they make it incredibly obvious that they did not kiss, and if you're the one person on planet Earth whose definition of a kiss is front lips brushing for .0000000002 seconds then I'm sorry, you belong to a different category, okay?
And again, that was on purpose! It totally would have defeated the purpose of this particular sequence if they had (and would've given detractors of this scene a real leg to stand on - again, more on that at the very end.)
But as it stands, they don't kiss, and that's also kind of critically why this isn't just a sexy scene to watch back.
AND THEN (I'm out of allowed images HAHA) she pulls away. And she says the words that end it all - This isn't real. This is the poison.
The premise of the hallucination is completely shattered, and she looks so heartbroken, but she's finally able to articulate what she's really known this whole time, and that is that nothing she's seeing is real. It is a lie being fed to her by her poison-addled brain as her body slowly succumbs and dies (dark).
But you know, she does get out of it through sheer willpower, and we love her for that - but oh man but what cost?
This particular sequence is definitely a catalyst for her changed behavior going forward. I do actually wish it had been a little better handled in the show (as in, better supported by dialogue in scenes before and after this one) but regardless - this scene is a Big Tipping Point and starts what is essentially a pseudo-regression arc for Inej (paraphrasing Amita directly, bc that's truly the most apt description of Inej's behavior for the rest of the season.)
It's really bad timing, unfortunately, because it happens just as Kaz is starting to open up like never before. He's starting to see the world in a completely different light while she's doing the exact opposite -- she is shutting down her own dreams and desires when it comes to him, because she's come to the conclusion that it's simply not going to happen.
And you know what, she's not entirely wrong for that assumption, but I do have beef with some of the particulars of how it was executed in the show. But that's a discussion for another day.
Now, onto a brief rant that I alluded to at the very start of this post - my single biggest grievance with fandom is that someone on the internet decided that this scene somehow ‘erased’ Inej’s trauma, when in fact that exact trauma is what underpins the whole damn thing.
The fact that this scene more or less parallels the passage from the books beat for beat, shows, in my opinion, that book fans who make these claims of 'erasure' must have deliberately chosen to ignore this passage from the books, or never even read it in the first place.
Because frankly? Once you take that passage into consideration, the intent of this sequence couldn't have been more obvious!
Just to underscore my point, I want to ask anyone who's reading this to please compare and contrast Inej’s hallucination with Matthias’ dream. If the intent, as many so often like to claim, was simply to make this moment in Inej’s mind a sexy, titillating scene, well then, it would have been shot a lot more closely to the way Matthias’ dream was shot: there's no lack of kissing and even implied penetration (!) which is crazy, because of course, Matthias and Nina have gotten nowhere near that in real life.
There's a sexual aspect to her dream, for sure, but it's not a stereotypically-passionate 'sex dream' so much as it is a thinly-veiled reading into her own desires and the inner turmoil that comes with it.
There's also a very subtle undercurrent here that I picked up on and explore in my ongoing fic , which is that Kaz, in these fantasies, is really always the one taking the lead, so to speak. Inej is not pulling him close or asking to kiss him - and we see that even when she consents to the act, she looks like she's bracing herself for it, rather than excited that it'll happen.
That is fueled no doubt by 1) her realizing it isn't real but also 2) the fact that she is still very much in the middle of her own trauma (having been freed like what? mere days ago? if that?)
Any concept of her own independent desire is still saddled with IMMENSE baggage - and this sequence showcases it perfectly.
I think after the fact, she's consciously aware of 1) but not yet aware of 2) which is beating around in her subconscious and is probably gonna cause her WAYY more problems going forward lol
TLDR; Inej doesn't know it just yet, but she's got loads of her own issues to work through, and until she does, she's going to be stuck in this weird purgatory of being a voyeur to/of her own desires.
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