#no shit i am working on my novel rn and i just remembered the one bkg pov wip i have and like...signed longingly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

agendabymooner · 9 months

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i think he knows ! lando n. x ofc (alessandro sister!writer!ofc)

"he got the boyish look that i like in a man."

summary: nicola alessandro released a novel under the pen name 'grazie nichols' and everyone made sure that the fans are supporting her. lando norris could do anything but be subtle about the things he knew, and the novel's inspo was one of those things.

content warning: possible use of explicit language, appearance of other fictional characters (hearth sisters, lester ricciardo, etc), dirty jokes (no smut), ofc and lando being menaces, ofc being obsessed with lando, fans trying to come up with theories, ofc's account is private (colabebe)

note: (time check: 12:25 am) i'm sorry i dipped out 😭 a lot happened yesterday: i hung out with the guy (it was awkward lol) went to see the barbie movie with my sister then had a sangria after- i was planning to post something when i got home but apparently i'm a lightweight and was knocked out after. let me know what you think!!! anyway enjoy xx

ps. yes the graphics in here are stuff that i made hehe sorry if they're awful but these are just some last minute shit i made xx

masterlist

tagged grazienichols

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, arthurleclerc

user1 new booktok rec??

user2 the grid is literally hyping this up 😭 is it that good

user3 MORE FORMULA ONE BOOKS!!!

user4 my wallet: empty

user5 me rn: trying to determine which driver relates to the man in the book the most 🧐

user6 bets on leclerc

user7 hmmm i think its more like estie? he's giving muse

user8 it could be yuki ???

user9 i agree user6 it's most likely shal bc that man is book bf material

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, danielricciardo

danielricciardo i don't blame them; this book is a bomb ass book 😉 liked by grazienichols

grazienichols 🤪

user1 grazie stop emptying my wallet challenge 🤐

grazienichols 😶 sorry xx

user2 making money just to get to monaco gp- gurl i don't blame you 😭

grazienichols it's getting more expensive as years go on 🥶

f1 monaco gp you say??? 👀

user3 she's making money already just toss the ticket in us broke people's direction 🙃

user4 yeah what she said ^^

tagged charles_leclerc, loricciardo, estebanocon and 7 other people

liked by colabebe, danielricciardo, arthurleclerc

user1 isn't lester pregnant??? why is she bent like that on the 7th photo? 😭

user2 lester can do things us mere humans can't

alex_albon i am appalled liked by lando.jpg

lando.jpg i can't put too much photos sorry lad

alex_albon i'll remember this.

user3 lando fed us with the hearth sisters content at the slides 2, 4 and 6 and i've never felt this loved since my ex <3

user4 gurl 💀 u good

user5 ESTIE BESTIEEEE 😩 i might bust a lil gimme a sec to chill

user6 the sisters in blue 🤤

user7 who's the third photo?

user8 lester's youngest sister, nicola

danielricciardo loricciardo 🤨 what're u doing?

loricciardo protecting baby ric 😳 liked by lando.jpg

lando.jpg by flattening his head? 😟

loricciardo you just reduced my standing time and increased my bedrest time lando.jpg thx

lando.jpg what 😭 what's gonna happen if you're in bedrest? is the baby's head going to inflate back to place??

danielricciardo landonorris lad. that's not how it works.

arthurleclerc colabebe that pink is nice asf

colabebe thank you art!!! nice seeing you!!!

user9 uhhhhh?!!! arthur and daniel's in-law?

georgerussell63 why am i not there??? 🧐

lando.jpg my bad- i didn't really want you to take of your shirt in the middle of the ballroom hall. not really your night tonight mate.

user10 where is toto?!!!

lando.jpg god love him but he already has enough photo taken by his own wife. give others some chance to make it to my jpg account

user10 understood king 🤌

sylvieeford no max?? he really pissed you off 😹 liked by lando.jpg

lando.jpg yeah, and keep on reminding him that. maybe he'd apologize for once 🙄

landonorris posted a story !!!

tagged landonorris

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, nora_alessandro

danielricciardo my favourite italian-british couple (no offense nora but i don't like georgerussell63 that much) liked by colabebe

nora_alessandro 😒😒

georgerussell63 you're not my favourite aussie either mate 😉

landonorris god gave me an equally obsessed gf and i love him for it liked by colabebe

colabebe just him??? 💔

landonorris me when you: 💗😩😳🤤

colabebe ❤️‍🩹

landonorris look at her

landonorris shes so pretty omg whats her @

oscarpiastri your simp looking ass is getting more obvious

colabebe 🤨 not my fault u don't get bitches 🤡

oscarpiastri do you wanna fight or wha 🤬

colabebe i deadlegged you last time and you ate shit so idk if thats even a question

oscarpiastri landonorris ur rat is at it again

landonorris hey man, that's my simp. leave her alone

mateoales throwing up

landonorris ratio + take L + didn't ask

colabebe cry + whine + sob + complain

mateoales you two are so mean when ur together

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scarlet6rose · 4 months

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🎤 hello people of the internet ✦

I’m Scarlet Rose,

I’m a writer (somewhat) and (mostly) digital artist that has been drawing since I held an apsara pencil 💀.

You can see me as any gender you like and use any pronouns, I really couldn’t care less, I’m just here to have a little fun 👁👄👁

I am in a lot of fandoms (some breakups were there 😃)

Just to give a lil idea:

✦ Good omens (literally binge watched like yesterday 💀) (novel and tv show)

✦ Omniscient reader’s viewpoint (joined late 2022 and early 2023 I think 🤔) (novel and Webtoon)

✦ Undertale (since the beginning tbh but it’s a bit off rn lol 🙃) (Game)

✦ The Stanley parable (joined around the middle of 2023) (Game)

✦ Five nights at Freddy’s ( 💀 I’m a very loyal viewer of the game theorist… I don’t need to say more. Other then the fact that I’m not that active anymore) (Game, books, and movie)

✦ Heavens official blessing (joined around the middle of 2022 I think 👁👄👁) (novel, webtoon, and donghua)

✦ Not so Shoujo love (start of 2021, lmao much gayness 🫦) (Webtoon)

✦ Heartstopper (middle of 2022, so much fucking gayness 🤌) (Novel and webtoon)

✦ Uzumaki (I’m still reading this lmaoo, I think I started to read junji ito’s works around late 2018-19(?)) (manga)

✦ Hellstar Remina (🙂 it was funny as fuck, totally recommend) (manga)

✦ trash of counts family (around the time i started orv) (webnovel and manhwa)

✦ hazbin hotel/helluva boss (again, around the beginning. I dont really have an opinion on them.) (indie animated series on Yt and Amazon Prime)

There are many more but I literally can’t remember ‘cause I’m not actively active in them ig 😶‍🌫️

Anyway as you can see, I’m fine with literally any kind genre as long as the story is (mostly) interesting for my shit attention span.

Some bondaries (will be updated as I go on):

✦ No NSFW / no sexual themes

‣ I’m fine with jokes and shit, like have fun and all, but no sexualisation of me or my ocs. I’m fine with horror/ angst art (as long as it isn’t taken too far).

✦ Minors and majors/adults

‣ Please no pedophila. I do not want to be in any romantic relationships online (learn from my past one mistake of being fucking delusional)

‣ I do wish to be ageless online for now, so yeah…

✦ No weird dms

‣ I’ll fucking ban you and probably make fun of you publicly.

‣ Weird dms include (but aren’t limited to): asking sexual stuff, death threats, obsessive behaviour etc.

✦ Personal issues

‣ Don’t come at me with your severely personal issues, such as family issues, life issues or whatever. Just cause I’m fine with taking ‘bout mental health and its severities doesn’t mean I’m responsible of your mental health in any way. Don’t talk to me or anyone online, talk to someone you trust irl and take therapy.

✦ Stalking/ doxxing

‣ Doesn’t matter if it’s me or not, you need grass for doing some chronically online bullshit. Go outside man or ma’am or neuter.

✦ Parasocial

‣ No, just no.

‣ I’m fine with the buddy buddy shit but please refrain from thinking that I’m important in your life. I’m just here to have fun and cook bullshit. Nothing more.

✦ Shipping

‣ Don’t ship me with other creators or yourself (please).

‣ Don’t ship my ocs with yours.

‣ I’m fine with people shipping my ocs with eachother.

‣ I don’t mind fan fiction (I write most of my characters fan fiction anyways 💀) (you’re free to do whatever but please have some kind of common sense).

‣ Don’t fucking art police or ship police (?) people if non of my characters are being shipped in a borderline pedophilic or incest ships.

✦ Hating

‣ I don’t mind if you dislike or even hate me, you’re allowed to do whatever, but keep in mind that this is the internet and you hate me on the internet. Don’t take internet matters irl or attack anyone I know in real life.

‣ No racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, sexism, extremely offensive jokes (that actually harm people) etc. will be tolerated.

Ik that I am not that big at all, but better safe than sorry lol

#blog intro #blog introduction #meet the artist #multifandom artist #boundaries #artists on tumblr #help 💀

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arcaeda · 9 months

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toa anniversary munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: leon!

Pronouns: he/him mainly but they/them? also sick

Birthday (no year): aug 30th whats up my fellow virgos

Where are you from? What is your time zone?: i'm from good old virginia but ive lived in a few different state. i currently live in illinois (insert peace sign hand emoji here) i'm also central time! midwesterners make some noise

Roleplay experience: my first experience rping was when i was like 12 or so. i started off doing cringe ass rp in deviantart group chats (if anyone remembers those). i didn't start doing (cringey attempts) @ legit para rp until i was 15 or 16 where i used deviantart and tumblr interchangeably. i experimented with panfandom rp for a bit and then a little while after that i found toa!

Got any pets?: my two chihuahuas who are brothers bae and skippy! i post them in gen media sometimes (bae is the white one and skippy is the one that looks like a frito)

Favorite time of year: autumun girlies rise up

Some interests and things you like: video games and animanga, mostly. i like (mostly j)rpgs, visual novels/otome games and rogue-lites. i used to bingewatch 30 episode animes in one day when i was younger LMAO. nowadays i mostly just stick to reading manga with my favorite genres being shoujo & josei. i don't stick to the new anime seasons anymore so these are some oldies, but my favorite anime of the past would probably be kaitou saint tail and nana. the newest anime i've probably enjoyed and actually remember is akatsuki no yona.

Some funfacts & trivia about you: im gonna be real with you all im terrible @ sharing fun facts about myself. uhhhh idk i guess i've swallowed whole pennies and dimes before as a child. i also ate a whole tube of toothpaste on christmas day and puked it up later..... i ate a lot of weird shit as a kid apparently

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play?: uhhh most of my main interest in vidja games is fire emblem, but actively rn i play like mobage and rhythm games on the side. other big interest games for me would probably be the botw series (not neccesarily zelda overall but), persona 5, ffxiv a LOT in the past, hades…. i cannot think of anything else off the top of my head LOL

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: blaziken you are my favorite little guy. my favorite type is probably electric or ice though.

How did you get into Fire Emblem?: i saw fire emblem awakening at gamestop and remembering marth from smash bros decided to buy it

What Fire Emblem games have you played?: there are some i've only read the script for, but for actual games that i've played : geneaology, shadows of valentia, blazing blade, some of sacred stones, path of radiance and some of radiant dawn, awakening, conquest, three houses and engage!

First Fire Emblem game: awakening

Favorite Fire Emblem game: geneaology will stick with me in my heart until i die, but like i also really did enjoy engage. she's climbing up there boys

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳: SIGURD FIRE EMBLEM I AM BEGGING YOU I WILL BE YOUR DOG BARK BARK WOOF WOOF

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays?

Awakening: chrom bc i didnt realize how s supports worked (though i did already like him when we married). my first marriage by choice was with lon'qu. i usually play f!robin, but if i do m!robin i marry cherche teehee

Three Houses: claude my beloved

Engage: alfred. hrk

Favorite Fire Emblem class: i fucking love mage knights so much. so glad engage brought them back

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class?: villager LMAOOOO but nah for real i think i would probably be a cleric, not by choice but because it would be the only thing i excel @ in universe. (my ass weak as hell)

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation?: golden deer rePRESENT WOOOOOO

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with?: sigurd for completely totally normal reasons. marth if you forced me to choose someone else

How did you find TOA?: on twitter! and i am so glad i decided to apply hehe

Current TOA muses: veyle and caeda!

Who was your first TOA muse?: sigurd! i wrote him here for around two years i think, but i also had prior experience writing him before toa teehee

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards?: i definitely think i gravitate towards the parental figure therapist type.

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most?: i love writing idiots who mean well the most i think (looks at sigurd and my very old tormod muse)

Favorite TOA-related memory: everyone swapping and trading letters of their mun name in the discord server. also anything 0 days since our last food discourse related

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔: toe-uh! since the day i was born

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day that you’d like to share? 😉: (barking and growling at you) i am thinking of bringing back timerra after i recover from top surg tho.

#{ ooc. }#{ yayyy dash gamess!!!!!!!!!! }

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motherthroat · 9 months

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ok see now i'm gonna go down the list again n send u a novel bc quite frankly i'm relentless n want to know wht three emojis u wouldn’t give me + clown around Together 😇

🍪 - this is a given and my motivation behind handcuffing us together for all of eternity duhhh<3

💥 - this is visible to anyone with eyes but i do understand tht it may be nice to hear so yes mori ur layout is very pleasing 👍

🚬 - you Are cool, n perhaps intimidatingly so, but not to me bc you’ve been soft w me before n even tho you're taller.. in my heart, you're my height. or shorter :3

🍜 - see i can’t say this bc i feel like ur skills cannot be imitated bc wht infuses such flavor into ur work is the fact tht it comes from You n it has ur heart in it. so. i will leave all of tht to you n all of the fawning n rabid cheerleading to me 😌

🧠 - yes i learn that there are indeed intelligent life forms out there which is always reassuring and desperately needed in these dark times amen 🙏

suddenly blind and unable to read idk wht the next emoji is omg 404 blue screen of death currently buffering only to finally load…..

🍧 - yes. u are. n i remember sometimes going “omgggg am i special… seeing the soft underside… 🥹👉👈” heheheheheh but again this is jus a Given like. nods at u

🧢 - see idk if i have the proper qualifications to determine whether or not ur a Bro and i would hate to be misdiagnosing out here 😞

🫀 - ok so see the thing abt this one is tht i’m actually a goodie two shoes tht can’t fight n has nonexistent arm strength so this whole killing someone n digging a grave thing would have to perhaps fall to u like . it’s almost a cannibal au situation except we’re not eating them yk? 🫶 but i would offer emotional support ofc n a moist towelette to wipe the blood off. sooo ride or die as in that + i'm your chihuahua guard dog tht would bite anyone's ankle <3 (but this is also a given bc again: the handcuffs. would i cuff us if we weren't ride or dies? exactly.)

🗣 - the thing abt this one is i’d be happy tht ur out there thriving living ur life or i’d assume tht u were here but deleted ur posts before i woke up / logged in bc the alternative would also kill me immediately </3

the only time i’d ever send u a tomato is if i were gently placing one in ur hand bc we were in the kitchen cooking something delicious n u asked me to get u one :) peace n luv on planet earth

i made tht small text n it's still long as hell . rip

𝄢 hey 😎

🍪 ─ u're v fascinating n i mean that. even if u do smth incredibly weird that'll annoy me i'd still go hmm i can fix them. or not bc i'll most likely be knee-deep joining u on wtvr u're doing. u make my ti-dom...... ti-domming

💥 ─ the fact that i'm ur moot rn is prove bc ppl w horrid sense of aesthetic just existing piss me off

🫂 ─ a given. in fact, u can bring up the most outta nowhere, embarassing topic n i won't ever think fuck this lil weirdo asking me stupid shit. tho if it's trivial matters like a post reminding me of u, i prefer to interact publicly. for no rzn................

🚬 ─ no ♡ u are cool... the way i find will byers cool. unintimidatingly so. n the fact that i'm shorter in ur heart is actually sickening to read ngl. this is us denise, this is how we look side by side ↓ 1.) i can rest my chin on top of ur head 2.) if i'm any shorter then we'd both be chihuahua material which is wrong

🍜 ─ ur ability to befriend anyone quick n be generally likable instead of mr. oversuspicious who yells at anybody stepping on his lawn due to a few bad experiences x

❤️‍🔥 ─ do i need to say anyth. c'mon. c'mon. everytime i log in, i wonder what's denise gonna say today abt raggedy ass ppl n what cute stuff is denise gonna come up w. u helplessly dying on the floor due to ur lactose intolerance for the 5th time is Content. atp i'm an enjoyer of a whole denise* not just denise the st blog

🧠 ─ maybe. not necessarily learning new things but being reassured that smone hasn't forgotten the thing

─ ok? i was making a creamy red sauce rigatoni w flan as dessert n u gotta pay the kiss the cook toll to even get the flan i put on the upper shelf but ig smone is full. more for me 🙄

🍧 ─ another given. n here's the thing: i don't like it when ppl get 💗💞💓💕💖-coddly w me. s not inherently bad, just that a lot of em expect u to match energies/respond similarly which is. i don't do that. n i don't like how fragile sm mutualships can be over it. but i don't mind u barfing ur love all over my activity partly bc ik uk how i am n none of my painstaking push n pull will deter u + it's U. that's it

🧢 ─ pft no. never even crossed my mind. u hv ZERO bro energy

🫀─ i knew u have the arm strength of soggy fries so i alrd fully assigned myself to do the brute work yes. on a srs note, u're my Friend friend. now me making a distinction between a friend n a Friend friend seems terrible but the latter isn't just existing in the same space peacefully, no, i wanna get to a point where u n i fight over small things n make up 5 mins later. i want us to bonk e/o on the heads. i want sm henpecking going on when necessary. ik u can be relied on for that level of #trust

❤️‍🩹 ─ *n this is why i wanna meet u irl. i want this so bad it's actually embarassing

🗣 ─ yes but if u're enjoying life away from this lawless wasteland n its chronically online weirdos i can do nothing but let u be. get that fresh O². touch that grass

🍅 ─ why the hell would i give u this. why. not in a million yrs. unless... ☹ peace n luv on planet earth indeed. later i'm peeling chilled fruits n sharing it w u on the front porch as we watch the sun set alongside édith piaf's hymne à l'amour

#inbox #long post

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anshiel · 1 year

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TELL ME ABOUT YOUR OCS PLS

there r so many and i am going 2 explode now, you have opened pandoras box

i am, i am going 2 start with ones i amn thinking about, which are ocs from an original story about destiny, because

The three main characters for the story which wip name rn might just be split destiny(abbreviation: two of a kind) it's about two kid's who accidentally get chosen under the same destiny despite it only being meant for one person and their mentor, Süsi who was kinda trying to get that.(not sure about the names because i thought mason and peggy at first but now kinda just wanna use the estonian ones i thought for them, Tiivi and Madis)

The three main characters for the story, images of them:) (timeskip versions of Tiivi and Madis in the top right one, tiivi digital sketches from me trying to figure out her colors)

ohk, details nd characters, Tiivi's a high energy person in general and positive for the most part, has had the ability to speak to animals forever. She's someone who's always wanted adventure and felt special so she was pretty thrilled to have something greater than life happen to her, summons a sword or spear thanks to the chosen one biz. She finds out her mother(who she hasn't seen in years and barely remembers) is very much active in the magic world and has a whole phoenix and rebirth theme going on(also doing some shady stuff), Also finding out she has an older brother she never met apparently, he's got plant powers (seems to be working for some sort of magical authority?).

Madis is very much more of a wallflower and has a tendency to draw in on himself and also ignore anything strange happening around him including his luck powers which is why he is at all not happy with what happened and would like to live a normal life, summons a scythe or shield. He lives with his aunt and has a cat, didn't know his parents, does seem to have some talent when it comes to this magic stuff and has eyes on him.

oooohg, let's get to tha mentor, Süsi, they do not know what they are doing teaching these children. He's been doing this awhile and has a whole detective thing going on (because i am like this and like making detective characters), seem to work place to place, generally seems mysterious, she's got a whole fire and dragon theme going on and also may have escaped death one too many times.

post timeskip a lotta changes happen and developments, Süsi goes into hiding, Tiivi keeps learning magic and also doing odd jobs with her brother and Madis goes to do normal teenager things back at home.

They try to keep in touch, in this period might also find more out about how their powers are connected and a mental link.

This story idea mostly came about out of kid me's anger at the lack of male female friendships and deciding i have to do this myself(Madis and Tiivi aren't even the first time i decided "actually this boy and girl character's would die for eachother and are not at all romantically invoved, fuck you" you can see a lotta YA. novels and cartoons pissed me off with that)also apparently i just wrote a snippet of a depressed boy and cheerful girl in like 2009? idk i was like 10 and had an assignment for writing and that also led to this.

(oh god there's so many miscellaneous sketches here of the cast for this shit)

There's also a shady school in this, mostly pre-timeskip and some immortal fuckos(to be fair one of them's trying to stop the other one, there's implications of them being connected in this cycle due to similar reasons that Tiivi and Madis are connected to eachother), also everyone aspec, süsi has an ex gf(Linda) in this that works for said school and seems blind to any wrongdoings by her workplace. Also a selkie girl at same school who's her prodigy gets a crush on Tiivi because i like to put lesbianism in my stories.

here's more recent sketches on my tablet from their postimeskip looks and also messy rough comics of scenes i have in my head during late night because thinking about them and need to get these thoughts out or else i will not sleep

anyways THANK YOU 4 the ask so i can ramble about my cringe ass nae-nae ocs(despite this i still have hundreds of other ocs and stories i have not mentioned here because this post is long enough, most likely have posted sketches of em but this does remind me i should try posting about them more again)

(follow up)

#ask #therealsomajesticdonki #split destinies #ansikunst #ocs #original character #original characters #my ocs

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thrill-seeker-if · 2 years

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i literally had the WORST dream last night yall... i gotta tell someone to get the embarrasment off my chest but okay OH AND ALSO TW FOR DEATH AND MURDER

so like i could NOT for the life of me get to sleep, but then i finally felt like i was, i closed my eyes and not even two seconds later i felt like i was seeing this bright shining light in my eyes. and so i opened my eyes a little and realized I was looking at a sky, and I was also like being given a piggy back ride or something??? and then i realized im in a dream (i usually lucid dream) and so i was like okay fine ill just go along with it. but then the person giving me the piggy back ride SPEAKS and he's like 'you're finally awake, huh?

and the voice sounded familiar and i was begging that it wasnt him but i looked over and nope it WAS it was my crush from like three years ago BRO I HATE THAT GUY

so i said something like 'not this shit' and oh god he had the personality of a romance novel guy so he smirked and said 'what, you're not excited to see me?' and so i knew i had to wake up RIGHT NOW but it wasnt WORKING LIKE IT USUALLY DOES

and so he said something like 'woah, are you constipated? ill let you off my back, dont get my clothes dirty' so i realized he could see the expressions it was taking me to wake up???? so i said uh yeah i need to be let down RN im having terrible indegistion so he let me down and then i started SPRINTING but it wasnt very easy bc apparently i had been thrown in the worst dream ever and i was wearing this big fluffy dress, a corset, and heels??? anyways i was running to look for a cliff cuz y'know how in dreams when you die you wake up? but i couldn't outrun him bc in real life he's a very excellent athlete (never ever like athletes not a good idea) and so he catches me like right away so im like BRO LET ME GO I NEED TO LEAVE and then he awares me the ONLY way we can leave is if i join him, and so i had to weigh my opinions: either go along with the most embarrasing dream ever, or get mauled by a bear or bit by a mosquito or something. I mean we were also in this gigantic forest so i was like fine. if you dont get me home soon tho im gonna kill us both.

and so we walk for days. i ask him questions which he answers but i dont remember any of the answers, i was in so much distress. anyways it feels like days have passed and he's STILL acting like a cringe guy from a romance novel so i am trying to stay as far away from him as possible.

and so again im sick and tired and i just wanna WAKE UP bc even when im sleeping in the dream IM NOT WAKING UP IRL so eventually i SNAP and i scream at him WHEN ARE YOU GETTING ME HOME WTF

and so eventualy he was like 'okay well i was taking you the long way but there's also a short way.' and so when i ask him he says that the short way is KISSING HIM WHAT????

and he KEPT PESTERING ME FOR DAYS LIKE I WENT TO THIS TEMPLE SO I COULD SAY I WANTED TO BE HOLY CELIBATE FOREVER AND HE STILL PESTERED ME I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO WAKE UP IT WAS A NIGHTMARE I HATE THIS GUY!!!

anyways then he tells me its my DESTINY???? HUH??? and so i tell him no and then he like tells me it'll also save the KiNGDOM?? and i got this scene of the king fucking POISONED???? and that it would help the poor little peasants who were suffering???? to appeal to my moral judements??? and so i ignored him for a couple days and one day i was leaving for the medieval market and he was like 'cmon just one lil smooch' and i was like OKAY FINE ILL KISS YOU WHEN I COME BACK and i went to the store

when i came back i told him lets get this over with and as he leaned close and closed his eyes i pulled out the weapon i got from the store and killed him and i THOUGHT IT WOULD WAKE ME UP

but it didnt happen and i was just surrounded by this huge crowd of people and like kids were crying parents were covering their eyes everyone was horrified and then i looked down and i saw my old crush's skin MELTING OFF until he turned into this way hotter guy??? and basically i got arrested and then some monks came and they explained that basically i had just. killed the person they considered a deity??? and then i realized in the temple i had seen him painted and there was a mural of him in the store so i was like.... oh....

anyways i got imprisoned as a religious criminal and then his freaking older brother showed up and he was WAY hotter than his younger brother and i couldnt even get through the explanation until he decided as punishment he would send me to hell to do different tasks

anyways after a couple months i finally convince him that his brother had set me up and i didnt know and yeah eventually he finds out the 'destiny' his younger brother was talking ab was like if he did get to kiss me he would be able to go into my world and take over my body???? anyways he was gonna apologise to me so he organized this nice thing but the idiot left me alone in whatever hell he owned but the problem was he didn't. kill me to take me to hell. so the lore here is the demons in this world eat mortals so i, the completely alive person, when he left me for five minutes, was torn to shreds. yeah. it was the worst dream EVER BRO

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nobuuses · 2 years

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ANNNNNNNNNN I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUU HI HI HI HI HI

I was thinking abt you! and wondering how you were! How's everything been? I wanna hear it all!!!!! How was ur day? You better be taking care of urself >:( Book recs? Show recs? Music? Art you like? ALL ALL ALL I WANNA HEAR IT ALL!!!!!

FUCK BAT IM ANSWERING THIS SO FUCKING LATE how r u still want to stay friends w me i’m the shittiest moot ever *hides face in hands* i literally don’t deserve u n ur love eeejhharrgh

ok ok before we get into me…YOU DYED UR HAIR DARK BROWN??????? my GOD it must look so good on u all ppl w brown hair r so fucking pretty and i’m so so jealous of all of them!!!!! and ur taste in books is IMMACULATE bc thanks to you i discovered ocean vuong’s on earth we’re briefly gorgeous n ive read it n i sobbed halfway thru. trevor is so beautifully portrayed and the general angst of the story is so breathtaking and im so glad you recommended it to me!!!! def one of my favorite novels ever

it’s actually 2:43 in the morning rn 🤡so my day haven’t rly started yet but it’s raining outside and it’s been raining for quite a bit now (since 12) so i know todays gonna be a good day<33 i’m gonna see mud when i go out and idk rain just makes me so so happy !!!!

i have been taking care of myself and i hope you have been doing the same thing >:( i’m abt to jump into ur inbox. seriously u mean the fucking world to me so you’ve better been treating urself and drinking enough water & eating enough nutrients or ill…ill cry and give u hugs

BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS i’ve been reading a ton of poetry lately and rupi kaur is def a poet u should check out if ur into poems <33 and im currently working on the monster of the book papillon by henry chafflier(??? it’s french i’m terrible at french) but the book was made into a movie so if u search up papillon it’ll come up but it’s a MONSTER OF A BOOK. it’s huge and i’m borrowing a vintage hardcover copy of it from my writing teacher and the covers are torn apart so i’m afraid to even touch it😭😭it’s great so far tho!! if ur into crime/criminals/laws and just early gay literature in general bc the main protagonists LEAK ust it’s miserable

musiccc hmmm florence + the machine. can never go wrong. sun room is rly good especially now that it’s summer!! sol del sur is a favorite of mine from them. wet leg’s wet dream is just chef kiss and the adults are talking by the strokes. season of the witch & hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have are absolute BANGERS. if u wanna go wayyy back i’ve been obsessed w fleetwood mac & queen at the moment so anything of their albums r so amazing. rly set the vibes for writing

ok so i’ve realized i’ve ranted so fucking much im so sorry don’t feel obliged to read thru this mess of shit again i’m the shittiest moot ever u deserve so much better than this i am so sorry i love u so much pls take care of urself <33 remember that u r so loved n cherished and u r so so so lovely

#aristos inbox #wherearetheplants #tbh that has always been ur tag but it’s not creative enough so now ur tag is #bat the loml #there we go #ilysm #again im so shitty im so sorry pls forgive me

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eijiroukiriot · 4 years

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a conclusion i have come to while working on My Novel That I’m Writing is that one of these days i need to just pick a protagonist that resembles the bkg in my head because he is legitimately my absolute favorite thing to write

#no shit i am working on my novel rn and i just remembered the one bkg pov wip i have and like...signed longingly #HE IS SO FUN TO WRITE....not just because of his actual voice but his actions and reactions to #the way his thoughts contrast with his actions and the things he doesn't even let himself think #the amount of irony that comes with the way he views things and the way we can see they actually are #the way he has strong definite feelings about everything around him #i feel like i've talked abt recently but having him as a narrator is like. a dream come true for me as a writer he meshes so well w the way #i like to narrate he has so much to SAY #i never feel like i'm pulling thoughts out of him he just feels so much #anyway. weird rant i just got on there #i do love my protagonist a lot - i love her....#i love making her panicky and making her repeat mantras to herself and jump abt little things and flub dialogue #i think she's fun to drive around this world she's in because i'm letting her change to fit it #sweet little ohio girl in the big city. there is only so much of her outside that she'll really be feeling on the inside #when i let myself embrace that it's a lot better than trying to make her like actually cool and collected #she thinks a lot! her thoughts can easily move her from one feeling to the next #that's not a personality trait i had written in a profile or anything but it's definitely the voice i'm settling on for her #can't wait to make her get angrier #i had her Grunt in last weeks chapter and i was like ooh yeah more of that more of that #cannot wait to have her flirt and cry and scream. i think she'll be good for it #there's something to be said about that too i think. the emotions i get to dig into that i wouldn't really see in bkg #mr angry when he cries angry when he feels useless angry when he feels regret bkg katsuki #this is like...even more tags than usual but basically i'm just thinking abt writing #i do actually have a character who kinda does share the stubborn/reactionary/highly emotional tone i tend to put into bkg #but i gotta like...make a story for them .#come to think of it why aren't they in a story of mine. why are they just floating around in my head #thoughts

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belle-keys · 3 years

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I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

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unforth · 3 years

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Hello unforth! Thank you for your wonderful blog, and the the untamed art blog!! I followed you years ago for destiel, and you were one of the people that got me into the untamed. I watched it last summer and have been binging various cdramas ever since!! I had a question for you about reading. After watching the untamed I read the novel, and didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I think you’re someone who prefers the show, but if not, sorry if I’m remembering wrong… hoping you understand. I want to try reading other novels but I found the romance in mdzs to be kinda off. I guess I’m wondering if you have a recommendation for the best novel you’ve read so far? It would be great if it’s one with fanfic but if not I’m still curious to try! I hope this didn’t come off as rude about the untamed, it’s just a personal preference. Thanks in advance, and thanks again for all your work in fandom!

Howdy! *waves*

You have not misremembered, I definitely prefer the Untamed to the novel of MDZS (and I'm with you, no shade on people with different preferences, of course!). I also didn't enjoy the novel of MDZS as much as I thought I would, though I think some of that was because I read the Exiled Rebels Scanalations translation which - again, no shade, translating that was a HUGE job and kudos to them - but I do here from native speakers that some questionable translation choices were made, which can detract from some people's enjoyment of the novel (and can enhance other people's, it just depends how those translation choices relate to each person's personal likes and dislikes).

Now, I can tell you what I've read and what I've thought of each one, happily - I don't know what turned you off about MDZS specifically, beyond an aspect of the relationship dynamic, so it'll be hard for me to say which of these might appeal to you more? But, here's a list of which danmei novels I've read, and my opinion. The list is shorter than you'd think - danmei novels are long and I read slow, lol.

Note that all of these end happy, for various definitions of "happy," and the main ship is canon in all of them. Also note that I tried to avoid spoilers, but sometimes it's hard to even talk about the ship dynamic without some mild spoilers.

These are (roughly) in the order I've read them; I just finished the last a few days ago. All art is by the official artists, but I'm not always sure what their names are, sorry - I've tried to figure them out for my art blogs but it's REALLY hard.

1. Mo Dao Zu Shi, by MXTX.

(since I'm writing this post for you, and you're already familiar with it, I'm not putting in TW and plot)

My take: I figure knowing my opinion of MDZS will help you assess all this? There are things I loved about MDZS, including the book, but MDZS is still obviously trying to figure out pacing. Whereas in SVSSS, the storyline doesn't always flow that smoothly and the ending is rushed, in MDZS in my opinion the biggest issue is that she clearly didn't plan some things ahead. For example, Miangmian and Wen Ning are both introduced within a few pages of when they'll be needed to Do Shit. It shows that she hadn't quite worked everything out as she was going, and every once in a while was like, "shit shit I need a character for this thing" and hastily added them. The plot itself is better paced, though, though I could have wished for a less talky denouement. When it was the only one I read, I also often thought, "this author doesn't understand consent," and, "this author has kinks I don't share." Now that I've read all three of her books, I completely retract the first one. MXTX absolutely understands consent, and was intentionally playing with it in MDZS. Not sure if the evidence of that got lost in translation, or what, but...yeah.

Relationship Dynamic: ...the second of those opinions, I still kinda feel. The consensual non-con is just not really my thing, like I'm okay with it in small doses? And I don't love some aspects of Lan Wangji's domineering attitudes and Wei Wuxian's act of bare tolerating it. And don't get me wrong, now that I'm more familiar with her work, I think it was an intentional writing choice and I also think they're both largely roleplaying it a lot of the time...but I still don't personally enjoy it much.

2. Scum Villain Self-Saving System, by MXTX.

Genre: modern transmigration into a fantasy xianxia world.

Where to find it: English translation by BC Novels | donghua season 1

Trigger warnings for: graphic descriptions of suffering, non-con of the "fuck or die" variety, and body horror...I can't think of anything else rn?)

Plot: SVSSS is MXTX's first novel, and is a satire of classic stag harem novels. Shen Yuan, the protagonist and half the main ship, is reading a serialized web novel by "Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky" about a demon named Luo Binghe who has a harem of over 3,000 women and has done all kinds of ghastly awful things. He hates this novel but has read all, like, 3 million words of it or something, and trolls every chapter...until one gets him so angry that he dies...and then he wakes up in the book right around when the book starts, in the body of one of the early antagonists, a cultivator named Shen Qingqiu who abuses a young, innocent Luo Binghe physically and emotionally and, ultimately, is horribly tortured to death. Shen Yuan, in Shen Qingqiu's body, thus sets out to not be horribly tortured to death by Luo Binghe. Hijinks ensue.

My Take: In terms of my opinion of it...SVSSS secured for me that MXTX is a much more brilliant author than I thought when I'd only read MDZS. She understands tropes and subverts them brilliantly throughout the story, and from a writing standpoint, I was impressed with her. However, from a plot standpoint...she's got all the ideas but hasn't, imo, yet figured out how exactly to bring them all together. The pacing is off at times, and the ending felt abrupt to me. It's also the only danmei I've read where I ship a side ship more than the primary one (which is, of course, Shen Yuan (as Shen Qingqiu)/Luo Binghe. (also, oops...I read SVSSS after TGCF and just put them in the wrong order, oh well, not gonna change it now.)

Relationship Dynamic: In terms of relationship weirdness...it's hard to sort in that regard, because, like, it's supposed to be weird? I think it's a really interest book but I'm not sure I'd recommend it in your situation. Bingqiu's main dynamic is...uh...tolerance and obsession? They're kinda hard to describe. Shen Yuan often seems like he's just kinda putting up with Luo Binghe, whereas Luo Binghe is...god. So hard to describe, lmao. He's a big clumsy ox in a museum full of porcelain dishes and he really, really loves his Shizun. (also note that Shen Qingqiu is Luo Binghe's teacher. They don't get together until after they're not master/student, but if that's not your thing, another reason to avoid.)

3. Tian Guan Ci Fu, by MXTX.

(art is by Starember)

Genre: historical China (loosely), xianxia (note that I'm still figuring out exactly how stuff gets classified so sorry if I get one wrong, but I think I kinda get it???)

Where to Access It: English Translation by the astonishing yummysuika | manhua (this is an official translation by Bilibili! It's a few chapters behind the actual release, but still...) | donghua season 1 is on Netflix | a live action adaptation is juuuuust getting started on script reading and filing

Trigger warnings for: MCD, temporary MCD, body horror, graphic violence, epic levels of mind fuckery, uh...genocide?...again, racism/colorism, probably other stuff, sorry, I can't take as long as I'd like to for this post so I'm not being as thorough as I oughta be.

Plot: TGCF is about Xie Lian, an 800 year old man, and it commences at the moment when, unexpectedly, he ascends to godhood...for the third time. Unfortunately, when he ascends, he accidentally does some damage in Heaven, and he has to repay that, so he gets sent back to earth to deal with a ghost who's been causing some problems. Hijinks ensue...and then fucktons of angst ensue...then more hijinks...then more angst...and basically it broke my heart like four times and I am grateful for it every day? The main ship is Xie Lian and a ghost named Hua Cheng, but it's hard to even talk about without some spoilers because of some identity shenanigans. (they're VERY mildly identity shenanigans, but still).

My Take: So, you asked what my favorite of the danmei novels I've read is? It's TGCF. TGCF is one of my favorite novels ever, and it has a growing fandom, a donghua that's on Netflix, and a live action that's just starting to film. TGCF is the culmination of the skills MXTX developed through her first two works, imo. She clearly plotted it out all from the start, and while Book 1 especially often seems kind of random - lots of elements are introduced and then kinda...apparently...forgotten? And never explained? But she actually DOES bring it ALL together and it's flat-out masterful. I'm a big fan, obviously.

Relationship Dynamic: it again depends on your preferences and what you didn't like about MDZS, and there's no way to talk about it without spoilers, so consider yourselves warned. Xie Lian ascended to godhood first at the age of 17, and right around then he also saved the life of a 10 year old boy...and that boy is Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng is a follower of Xie Lian's, in that Xie Lian is literally a god, and Hua Cheng is literally one of his followers. However, they're separated for almost 800 years, so the age difference is largely irrelevant, and while some people complain about Hua Cheng's behavior being stalkery and obsessive, I honestly think they're dead wrong. It's more like when you read a celebrity/fan AU, and it starts weird, and then they really genuinely fall in love. Like, the fan may have been in love the whole time, and how they felt about the celebrity before they really met might feel slightly ooky, but it's how they act AFTER they meet their idol that matters more, and...yeah, Hua Cheng is great, they're both great, antis fight me. Xie Lian is easily one of my favorite characters EVER, he is all my favorite tropes in one horribly, wonderfully fucked up martyristic idealistic sweet kind laid back package. I would kill for him, lmao. In terms of their relationship dynamic...they love and respect each other? There's really nothing that weird about it other than the aspects of the "fan" Hua Cheng that get revealed over time - and he's always terrified that when Xie Lian realizes what a fanboy he was, Xie Lian will be upset or disgusted, but of course Xie Lian never is. They adore each other. It's glorious. Highly recommend. :D There's also no explicit content in TGCF (unlike MXTX's other two books).

4. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (aka 2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat.

Genre: original world, xianxia, time travel, dimension hopping, it's so many things, 2ha is so hard to describe lmao

Where to Access it: English Translation by the amazing yummysuika (things are complicated, though, and it's not finished) | a manhua is in the works and should be out this year | a live action called "Hao Yixing" or "Immortality" is already filmed and could theoretically air literally any time cause it's completely ready, but when will it actually come? Who knows!

Trigger warnings: all of them. Literally. MCD, temporary MCD, murder, suicide, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, rape/non-con, abuse, manipulation, gas lighting, torture, graphic violence, body horror, literal graphic onscreen horrible blood murder of a small child (I had to skip that chapter), teacher/student relationship sort of but not exactly, probably other stuff, this book is dark as fuck, and a lot of these tags apply to behavior of one half of the main ship toward the other, but...it's complicated, and there are reasons things happen, and those reasons aren't "well they're just a bad person."

Plot: This is another one that's hard to describe because there's sooooo much mind fuckery going on, but I'll try. 2ha is about Mo Ran, who rises to be the Emperor of the World, Taxian Jun, but slaughtering all who oppose him...and who is so miserable that he commits suicide, only to wake up in his 16 year old body. This is pretty much perfect from Mo Ran's point of view, because he's gone back so far that the love of his life, his fellow disciple Shi Mei, is still alive. He has a chance to fix everything that went wrong, starting with preventing his awful evil Shizun, Chu Wanning, from letting Shi Mei die.

Spoilers: the main ship in this book is Mo Ran/Chu Wanning.

Hijinks do NOT ensue. There are no hijinks in 2ha. It is all pain all the time (but I swear it ends happy).

My Take: ...well, from a structural standpoint there are some pacing issues. The book is incredibly long (over 300 chapters, over 1 million words) and there are definitely some chunks that could just be excised and it'd still be fine. However, other than that, it's pretty amazing and absolutely masterful how it's plotted. As a reader you'll spend 100+ chapters thinking you know what's going on, and who the good guys are, and who the bad guys are, and how they relate to each other...and then Meatbun starts in on revealing what's ACTUALLY going on and she then spends 200 chapters repeatedly punching you in the face! Like, I went in knowing a LOT of spoilers, because the tags were so dark that I felt that for my mental health it was important I have a general idea what was going on, and I STILL ended up sobbing my eyes out (and I am NOT an easy crier and don't usually cry at books) over something I knew was coming.

Relationship Dynamic: That's about the only thing that the title accurately conveys about this book. "The Husky and His White Cat Shizun," sounds so soft and fluffy, right? That's how they get you, ha. But, Mo Ran is absolutely a big dumb husky who wants to do the right thing (well, sometimes he does) but just completely fails depressingly often. When he sees someone he likes come in the front door he WILL jump all over them and bark in their face as his way of trying to communicate affection. And Chu Wanning is equally absolutely a cat. He is emotionally constipated, poor at expressing himself, uptight, touch starved, desperate for affection, and so lonely my chest hurts when I think about him. And for how they relate to each other...well, picture that big dog greeting a loved one at the door...except that loved one is the most hide-bound proud white cat you can imagine.

That's their dynamic.

(However, also...there are multiple timelines at play, and Taxian Jun does some truly awful things to "his" Chu Wanning in the original timeline, and many of these things are graphically described, and while it's ultimately all explained, it still all HAPPENS, so if you're going to have trouble reading fucktons of abuse between the main ship, I would not recommend this book)

5. Thousand Autumns (Qianqiu) by Meng Xi Shi.

Genre: historical China (like, references actual people, as far as I can tell), xianxia

Where to Access it: ...reading Thousand Autumns is HARD, it's split over like four websites/translators. This Carrd can kinda help? I can get you the rest if you want | donghua season 1 | I heard there's a live action in the works? But I don't know more than that.

Trigger warnings: graphic violence, mentions/threats of sexual violence (but it's all stopped before things really go wrong), starvation, description of child death (from starvation), near-death, emotional/mental abuse, major semi-permanent character injury, god, minor character death, they're major characters depending on your pov, I can't actually think of others, after writing about 2ha it feels positively fluffy). Note that there's not really any explicit content, just implications of smut, and not til basically the very end and extras.

Plot: Yan Wushi, sect leader of a demonic sect, has just come out of an extended seclusion to improve his cultivation when he and one of his disciples come across a man who is wounded to the point of near death. This turns out to be Shen Qiao, the sect leader of Mount Xuandu. When Shen Qiao awakens from his wounds, he's lost his memory, AND he's blind, and Yan Wushi decides it would be great fun and an excellent use of his time to fuck with Shen Qiao by trying to turn him evil - because Yan Wushi is certain that ALL people are inherently evil, and shattering Shen Qiao's veneer of righteousness will just help prove that.

Spoilers: it's not a veneer.

Not spoilers: Not many hijinks ensue, but there are a few hijinks, and even when it's not hijinxed, it's still not that painful...usually.

My Take: despite that synopsis, a lot of the plot of Thousand Autumns is actually political, and I like political plots, so I liked that aspect of it. However, it has some serious pacing issues imo, and it's also hard to read in English atm because it's not fully translated; it's close, now, much closer than when I read it a few months ago, so it'll be easier to read soon. Or maybe I shouldn't say it's pacing problems, but rather, it's more of a sequence of multiple major plots, strung together, with the growing relationship between Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao playing out in the background. I think if I'd known there was no "one big plot" that would have actually helped me, because it kept feeling like, "Oh, THIS is the main thing," but it never was. Things would feel climactic...except then there'd be more. So it's probably better to actually think of it as more...episodic? And the episodes/stories build, and interrelate, and do have a culmination, but not all of them directly tie in, and not all the threads end up coming together/getting resolved.

Relationship Dynamic: early on, Yan Wushi is definitely abusive and manipulative, intentionally so, and I would argue that, imo, Shen Qiao falls for it. However, mid-way through, there's some big reveals, and after that when they're reunited Shen Qiao no longer takes any shit and Yan Wushi continues to act like he doesn't care even when he clearly does. They're not a typical ship in ANY WAY, and I'd say their relationship is more founded on mutual respect than on love. Indeed, in the author's notes at one point MXS actually says they doesn't see them as the kind of couple to ever exchange love declarations, and I thought that was really interesting and it really helped me to understand how they worked together because I'll own I struggled with at times. Yan Wushi is self-interested, often cruel, and ethically and morally dubious. Shen Qiao, on the other hand, could probably ascend to Daoist godhood, he's so pure. Yet...they DO work. I'd say "opposites attract" but that's ALSO not their main trope, not exactly. They're a VERY hard ship to explain, and I know some people who've read the whole book and still don't really...get them...and I've had to really think about them to wrap my head around them...but the more I've thought about them, the more I like them.

6. Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo.

Genre: historical fiction set in either actual China or make-believe China, I'm not sure if this is directly incorporated any real people

Where to Access It: English Translation by Perpetual Daydreams | manhua (untranslated, I'm not sure if there's anyone translating it into English) | I think there's a live action in the works? Not sure beyond that though.

Trigger Warnings: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation, drug addiction, drug abuse, chronic illness (different character than the drugs), manipulation, abusive, awful parents and parental figures (not all, but definitely some), some homophobia (but way less than there could have been), probably other stuff

Plot: After 7 years away, Zhong Wan returns to the capital of the Empire with the three children of his benefactor, the seven-years-dead Prince Ning. Prince Ning was executed for treason against the previous Emperor, and Zhong Wan has done all he can to protect and raise the three kids, but he's got a lot of worries about returning to the capital and what could happen to his charges if they get pulled into the politics surrounded the Emperor. But, even worse, he's got even more worries about being reunited with Yu She, nephew of the Emperor, with whom he has more than a little history...and about whom he has been lying for the past 7 years, claiming that he is Yu She's lover, in a bid to help use Yu She's reputation to protect Prince Ning's children.

Hijinks ensue.

And so does a political nightmare.

My Take: TYQHM was a hard book to get into because there are just so many characters and it's all about politics - this is NOT a xianxia or wuxia novel, and these characters are NOT cultivators. There's basically nothing supernatural in the whole book; instead, it's about Zhong Wan and Yu She figuring out their own histories, and accepting each other, while trying to survive in a political world that increasingly wants both of them dead. However, I adore political plots, and when all was said and done I really enjoyed it, and I'm trying tooth and nail to claw other people into the fandom with me, so far with basically no success. It only has like 15 works in English on AO3. And so not only does it not fit that requirement of yours...

Relationship Dynamic: ...I think you would also probably not like the relationship dynamic? Zhong Wan is a bit like Wei Wuxian-as-Mo Xuanyu, except more...genuinely? Like, it's his actual personality, not an act, in quite the same way. I don't mean the "flamboyantly gay" part...usually...he definitely has his moments...but he's just...like, he's been through so much that he'll basically say anything, and drag himself entirely through the mud, to distract people who might hurt the three kids (they're like 16, 13, 13, now I think? It was never THAT clear to me, tbh...certainly, all are at least 10...) and, later, Yu She. He has zero face, and doesn't mind having negative face when he feels the situation demands it...and Yu She, on the other hand, has MAJOR depression issues, is sure he deserves nothing, and mostly wants to destroy everyone around him and then kill himself, at least until Zhong Wan starts giving him a reason to live again. But, more than that...Zhong Wan is like the fucking epitome of a bratty subby bottom. He wants to get fucked SO bad. And Yu She is an incredibly reluctant dom, hilariously so at times, uncomfortably/manipulative so at others. When all was said and done, I was pretty fond of them both, but there were definitely moments that made me grimace, and given what you say of how you felt about MDZS, I think this one is less likely to be to your taste?

Bonus 7: Guardian by Priest. I never finished the novel version of Guardian because the translation had some issues that caused me not to enjoy it, so I won't get into it too much, but again, Guardian is a very different book than any of the others, because it's modern fantasy(ish, like, it's still deeply embedded in Daoist-related tropes but it's more "magic spells" and less "cultivation." Like, in terms of what it's like, it felt more like Japanese modern Onmyoji style stories, to me, than it felt like the ancient Chinese wuxia/xianxia cultivation stories.). I'm not gonna get into lots of details, because I read part of the book more than a year ago, and have seen the show (which is VERY different) like three times, so I can hardly even remember what they're like in the novel. There was definitely some weirdness, though? If you're potentially interested, I'd suggest starting with the drama instead. The plot for that is...

Plot: Zhao Yunlan heads a Special Investigation Unit in the human world tasked with maintaining a treaty between humans and the dixigren ("undergrounders") who are (in the show) aliens (in the book...it's the world of the dead). While doing this job, he keeps running into this professor, Shen Wei, who definitely knows more than he oughta.

Hijinks ensue.

And then it murders you with feels.

The live action streams from YouTube - here.

(Warning: uh, I don't want to give spoilers, but my "guaranteed happy ending" does NOT apply to the Guardian TV show...but it does apply to the book, as I understand it.)

Anyway, this was a terrible use of my time but it was definitely more fun than what I should be doing, and it's probably way more information than you wanted or needed, but since I wasn't sure what exactly you had in mind, I figured...might as well be thorough?

(Today's hyper-focus fail: this post, ha...)

#unforth rambles #i'm not gonna tag the fandoms because i give my own opinions #some of which aren't all THAT positive #i think it's best if I don't just dump that into the main tags

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seoafin · 3 years

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tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be 😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

#honestly I don't have high hopes unfortunately 😭#but who knows I might be...pleasantly surprised #idk I don't have high hopes in manga nowadays so hmmm #anyway as always I enjoy ur thoughts <3 ❤️❤️#hope ur doing well!!!#and getting all those genshin impact goodies #🐱 anon #long post

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reki-of-the-valley · 3 years

Text

Vent post feel free to ignore me. Just gotta exteriorize a bit

But like...... I'm tired. I'm just so tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Everything feels heavy. And I know it's just an episode, that I'll feel okay in not too long, or maybe it will take some time, maybe I'll be tired for months, but rn? Heavy. And you can feel it in my writing. You can feel how heavy I feel. I never hide how I feel, I put that on display rather plainly because it helps me take steps forwards. Writing is an outlet for me. But it's also a mask. A mask to all my feelings. One step forward is one step back.

Things are rough rn. And I know I'm fortunate in life. I'm in uni, I'm studying something I should love, but it's just... Heavy. It's the only word I have today. It's the only word that feels adequate. A weight I want to get rid of but that's stuck on me.

What do I mean should love? Easy: I love literature. Despite what I say about being illiterate, I do genuinely love reading. I love finding pretty phases and words. I love feeling emotions that aren't mine but that are nonetheless real. I love being touched by an idea. I love reading because I hope, i sincerely hope that what I write can make someone else love reading. And you know when Langa asks Reki if he can be the only one who doesn't know how to ollie and Reki says sure but you won't really get anywhere if you don't learn? Yeah. I tried to do that but with reading. Be the only writer who doesn't read. I quickly learned that it doesn't work like that and i quickly learned that I do love literature. So I decided to major in it. Because I'm supposed to love it.

But studying something you love is not always.... It's heavy sometimes. It's heavy and mixed with my heavy anxiety... It's not a match made in heaven.

I am an extremely anxious person. I don't think I've ever hidden that about myself. I've always been rather honest about my anxiety and how I can get these fits of anxiety very suddenly and I can spiral into a panic very easily. It's something I know I have to deal with, that I've learned to manage even if it is hard to get out of my head sometimes. Hell, just posting fics causes a great deal of anxiety because of that fear of "what if it's terrible." Pleasure and anxiety somehow go hand in hand for me and it's weird. Weird but in the end, my panic does vanish and the happiness I find in sharing my stories comes out on top.

But anxiety is something exhausting. It's exhausting when there is no counter to it. So while I feel anxious every time I post to ao3, the feeling of happiness associated to telling stories and sharing them with all of you far outweighs the panic I feel, the spiralling, the what ifs. There's that counter, anxiety vs pleasure. For school... There is no counter. There's nothing to balance out the fear, the panic, the spiralling. And that's when I know it gets out of hand.

It's been awhile since I've felt this bad. It's been precisely 5 months since I've felt this heavy. I've had 5 months with minor panics, minor attacks, but outweighed by so many pleasing moments that they didn't mean anything to me. I didn't let them hurt me. Because I was doing something that genuinely felt amazing, like i was flying. Especially in the past 2 months.

Now I don't want to be overly sappy, but the Sk8 fandom has done wonders for me. I feel far more confident, I'm passionate about the boys, I have nearly 150 of you guys following me, there's fanart done about my shitposts and fics (I love you so much you don't understand how much those mean to me), and my writing has touched quite a bit of people. And sometimes it makes me cry because I've never had this much attention on me. And maybe it doesn't seem like much, but to me, it means the world. You guys mean the world to me. (I remember going through stories on insta the other day and seeing my fics being recced by an artist that I really look up to. I sobbed. Or sometimes I get notifs about people bookmarking my fics and I recognize the names and I'm just there like ??? How did this happen???)

So I had months of feeling uplifted, but now? Yeah, all of this still makes me feel great, but real life? Not so much. Real life sometimes I just want to quit it. Not in a death way, not anymore, but in a "I don't want to do anything anymore" way. Because it feels heavy. Feeling sick every time I have to get up, it feels heavy. Feeling nauseous as hold a novel, it's heavy. Feeling like shit, that choked up horrid feeling of illness that never really comes every time I open my computer, it's heavy. Anxiety is heavy. Fear of not preforming properly, of stumbling in my act of the perfect scholar, it's heavy. And today felt like my breaking point. Today was the worst I've felt in a long time. Today, anxiety induced illness pushed me to the point where I felt like I was going to pass out.

I don't remember what my point was when I started writing this 20 minutes ago. Maybe it was just to vent. Maybe it was a no filter moment, put all my thoughts down and hopefully feel better. Maybe it was just a moment of heaviness that felt too unbearable for me to keep it to myself, hide it within me like I've been routinely doing for the past 20 years (ok, fine, probably more like 8 years but whatever. I don't know when the anxiety really started to come up. I wan to say when I started high school and felt the need to top everyone. Compensate for something I was missing. Praise? Was that what I wanted? Was praise all I craved? Validation? Are those the things I seek when I out myself out there? I should know what I want but I'm ignorant to my own desires.) There was a reason for me to start this, but the reason I do not remember. Maybe I've just been too engulfed in my own misery. Maybe this moment will pass, that I'll move on to a new moment, one where I don't feel like utter shit. Maybe this is a way of trying to move forward. Maybe this is just the consequence of me writing for 12 hours about how confessions allow the confessor to breathe, rid themselves of their shame and begin life again. Maybe that's what I want. Maybe I just want to get rid of the shame I feel about my anxiety.

I don't know of this is coherent. I broke down crying halfway through it

#dont reblog this please #not sk8 #personal #vent #hush lils #really hush dont do this too often #tbd

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bettsfic · 3 years

Text

february pinned: the real & the ideal

in this month’s edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and consultation availability, i have short story recommendations for you and an essay on the nature of reality in fiction!

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

in other news, i finished two fics this month:

digging for orchids (hualian, 43k, explicit, fake marriage au)

let ruin end here (hualian, 8k, mature, neighbors au)

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

oof,

what a month. january is already a rough time. throwing in a pandemic, a coup, and an economic revolution spearheaded by reddit just seems unfair. as for me personally, the spring semester came at me fast and even though it’s only week 2, i am already buried in grading. which i realize is my fault, considering i’m the one who assigned homework.

so after hearing your feedback, i thought i’d make this newsletter even more writing-related by writing more about writing. this month i’ll start off by talking about the nature of reality in fiction in a segment i call “been thinkin a lot about.” more on that below.

new resource

i’ve compiled a folder of PDFs of the short stories i teach most often, which is to say, the stories i like enough to re-read every semester. most of them are literary fiction but a few veer into fantasy, sci fi, and horror.

i know before the MFA, i didn’t really know what a short story was. like i knew, abstractly, the concept of a short story (it is as it sounds), but i could only list a couple i’d ever read as an adult, and i hadn’t read anything that had been published in the last decade. i remember wondering why i was even being asked to care about short stories. who writes short stories? who reads them? apparently, a lot of people. short storyists are a lot like fanwriters in that they make no money and when you talk about your writing in public, people give you that “why would anyone waste their time with that?” look.

so here’s why i was asked to care about short stories: a good short story gives you the entirety of a world in a very condensed space. moreover, it can sometimes leave you as satisfied as a novel in a fraction of the reading time. all the stories i’ve compiled here are ones that stuck with me, that i find myself recommending over and over to writers who want a good example of developing character, or weird narration, or establishing stakes.

if you’re a writer considering publication or an MFA in creative writing, i highly recommend familiarizing yourself with short stories, if for no other reason than to get the feel for them so you can write some of your own. if you can get a few short story publications under your belt, it’ll be easier to open doors when you’re ready to query agents for a novel. also, short stories make a great writing sample for grad programs, workshops, fellowships, residencies, and grant funding.

if you want to check out more short stories but have no idea where to start, the 2020 best american short stories just dropped in november, or if you want a cheaper one, used copies of 2019 and earlier are available on thriftbooks. if you want an overview of the history of the (american) short story, there’s also the best american short stories of the century. fair warning, though, while it’s more diverse than expected, it’s still a bit heavy on dead-white-dude writing.

content warning: the stories in the above-linked folder may depict instances of sexual assault, suicide, and/or abuse. i have not labeled them individually with warnings but i hope to soon, as well as provide a catalog with summaries.

i’m also still working on my essay and novel recs. more to come on that hopefully next month.

writing-related posts

how i quit my banking job to do a creative writing MFA

how i learned to read faster/stop subvocalizing

how to write when you have no time or energy to write

my experience writing fic in small/dead fandoms (aka fics that will probably not get any traffic)

how to describe facial expressions

how to ask for help from your professors

how to navigate tenses during flashbacks

how to separate yourself from your work

how (and why you might want to) write a shitty first draft

why you should consider making the climax the inciting incident

for a complete list of my writing-related posts, check out this masterdoc (which i still need to update it with the past few months’ posts).

stuff i’m into rn

i’m about halfway through the rhetoric of fiction by wayne c. booth which has more or less become my narrative bible. it’s a little dated (1961) but it tackles banal writing adages that are somehow still believed, like “show don’t tell” and whatnot, and breaks them down with amazing insight, clarity, and research. it’s a bit of a dense text so i’m only reading a few pages a day, i think the first time i’ve ever let myself read something so intentionally slowly. now i’m kind of obsessed with doing things slowly. reading slowly, writing slowly, cooking slowly. i even drive slowly, because it’s so rare to go anywhere at all, and i want to enjoy it. also, it’s very snowy where i am. also also, the battery died in my car this month and i really have to make it a point to drive more often.

february availability

i have 2 openings for initial writing consultations in february! if you’re interested, please fill out this google form.

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

been thinkin a lot about

compulsory reality in fiction. many of us have probably received feedback along the lines of, or thought to ourselves as we read, “that’s not realistic.” many of us believe, consciously or not, that fiction that is more “realistic” is inherently better than fiction that is less “realistic.” for some of us, real means a saturation of details, the clear depiction of the surfaces of things. reality is found in the rendering thereof; if you can “see” it, it’s real. for others of us, it might be the development of complex characters and their growth across a narrative. and for yet others, reality is subtlety, or misery, or the idea of “slice of life,” a term i don’t think means anything, because aren’t all stories a slice of a character’s life? what would a story that’s not a slice of life look like? you’d either have to take away the “slice” part and render a whole life, which is impossible, or you’d have to take away the “life” part and create a dead story, which may be possible, but why would you want to? even if you wrote a story about a rock, the rock would be brought to life by virtue of being written about.

anyway. i think the word “real” is a shitty word for the same reason “slice of life” is a shitty phrase: everything is real and therefore nothing cannot be real. slices of life are all we know because we are alive and cannot truly perceive not being alive; reality is also all we know, and any depictions beyond reality are thus made real because they have been depicted.

so the “goal” for fiction to be “realistic” seems to me to be a false one. all fiction is real because it exists and no fiction can be truly real because it’s only a facsimile of reality. not to get all “this is not a pipe” but writing is just making squiggles, and we as a community of English-knowers agree that certain squiggles correspond to certain sounds, and certain sounds together make words which conjure meanings. and words put together into sentences into paragraphs conjure even more complicated meanings. and when those paragraphs are woven into narrative we create yet more and more complicated meaning.

every time you write anything — a text message, an email, a tweet, a fanfic — you are taking the infinite abstraction of your own cognition, narrowing it into a single concept, and representing that concept with patterns in the form of sounds represented by letters and given meaning with words, so that the infinite abstraction of your own conscience can be fractionally witnessed by the infinite abstraction of someone else’s. and even though we can’t definitively prove for ourselves that any other thing possesses a consciousness, writing shows us the shape of someone else’s mind, and tells us we are not alone.

and yet we still expect writing to be “real.”

have you ever read a story where a character sneezed? like just, a description of a sneeze for the sake of it, with no purpose or function in the plot? if not, is it because our characters aren’t real enough to sneeze, or because the sneeze isn’t relevant to their plight? what would a written sneeze look like, and why would somebody want to write it? moreover, why would somebody want to read it? that leads me to wonder, do we depict reality in the service of narrative, or narrative in the service of reality? in other words, do we write to portray reality (sans sneezing), or do we depict reality to constrain our writing, the way one might request bumpers when bowling so as not to fall in the gutters?

i’ve never read an artful rendition of a character pissing or shitting, either, even when those things are related to a character’s plight and circumstance — stories involving long road trips, living in the woods, being kidnapped. the only exception i can think of is when those things are eroticized (we do not kinkshame here in this lkwrnl), the same way it’s rare to find detailed sex writing that isn’t for the purpose of reader arousal. are there just some things about the nature of being human that are too intimate, too complex, or too boring to write?

once i wrote a murder that takes place in a small fictional midwestern town in the 90s (for the ~aesthetic), and it went uninvestigated by said town’s police force. early readers repeatedly commented along the lines of, “that’s not realistic.” and i thought, no, if anything, the incompetence of police is too realistic for the heightened reality i’m trying to render. have you ever heard of a cop solving a murder that didn’t come with an obvious suspect or immediately found evidence? i haven’t. that doesn’t mean those cases don’t exist, but i definitely think they’re less likely than mass media has us believe, and the average small-town police force has far less motivation (and possibly training) to solve crimes than we think.

i started working on the above-mentioned novel in 2016, and my goal was to depict a reality that hovers above the surface of plausibility. in this novel, which is based on macbeth, a preteen girl, mercy, becomes jealous of the love her best friend elisa shows to her father. mercy decides to get her older and very unstable brother to kill him. naturally the deed goes awry, but it does occur, and the cleanup is far messier than anticipated.

is it plausible for a 12 year old girl to plot and execute the murder of her best friend’s father? no. is that what this book is about? yes. a book about a 12 year old girl who has a perfectly healthy relationship with her best friend and who has no feelings toward her bff’s father one way or another is probably far more “realistic,” but that’s not the book i’d want to read and certainly not the one i want to write. my goal of a heightened reality is what henry james calls the intensity of illusion, the thing that allows a reader, through the witness of one’s distilled cognition into language, to exit physical, knowable reality, and enter a new and unknown reality. and isn’t climbing to that higher place, that intensity of illusion, the purpose of fiction? if it’s not, what is?

the best feedback i got on the aforementioned murder scene was from one of my professors, who, of the perfect calm of all children involved, said, “they just shot a guy. at least one of them would be freaking out.”

he was totally right, but it opened up a lot of questions for me. by what standard did he reach that conclusion? was it something in the chapter itself, was it his personal understanding of the work of narrative, or was it the logical conclusion of the slim plausibility of the scenario? moreover, where did i come up with the idea that all of my preteen characters would commit a murder and proceed to be very chill about it? if an implausible scenario begs the expectation of emotional distress, would it be more compelling to buy into that expectation or deviate from it? is it even my obligation to be compelling when i can never have a cogent grasp of the personal tastes of my audience?

that brings me to what appears to be reality’s opposite: idealism, the state those of us who write fanfic are often trying to achieve. we’re working in an entire genre of ideals, of happily ever afters, of hurt that is always followed by comfort, of glossily rendered sex during which everyone orgasms and no one has to pee afterward. we fix broken texts and continue incomplete ones. sometimes, we want to make existing things better, deeper, more complicated. but all the time, we want to make a text more than what it is.

some see this process, this drive for the ideal, as antithetical to realism, and i think that’s part of the reason fanfiction and other idealistic genres (romance, etc.) get a bad name — the assumption that more real (which for some means more miserable) is better, and therefore its opposite, the ideal, is worse. for them, i have this quote from vladimir nabokov:

For me a work of fiction exists only insofar as it affords me what I shall bluntly call aesthetic bliss, that is a sense of being somehow, somewhere, connected with other states of being where art (curiosity, tenderness, kindness, ecstasy) is the norm.

the ideal, aesthetic bliss, the intensity of illusion. these are all phrases that boil down to the same thing: you the writer get to define the constraints of your own reality. you get to choose if your world even complies with the known laws of physics. and if it doesn’t, you get to choose which ones to break, and why to break them. you get to choose if your stories take place in a real house in a real town on a real day. if you wrote a story that takes place on september 11, 2001, would the events of that story be shaped by the events of that actual day, or are you writing a better world where 9/11 doesn’t happen? consider the consequences of both: why might you want to write reality? why might you want to write ideality? how do these things shape your identity and goals as a writer?

no matter where a work falls on the real-ideal spectrum, you have to accept that prose itself will only ever be a verisimilitude of reality and therefore an interpretation of it, one that might be interpreted differently by a reader. in writing and everything else, you can never have complete control over what others perceive. it’s like giving someone cash as a gift. they might buy themselves something nice with it, or they might spend it on groceries. the point is, eventually we all have to let go of our realities.

#lkwrnl #pinned

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hiuythn · 4 years

Note

do u have any krbk fics that u can rec? any favorites of urs! ☺️

you’re in luck bc i just made a rec list for a friend so i have this ready for you

also i’ve got over 200 krbk bookmarks on ao3 so feel free to check that out if you finish this rec list.

all (except one) of these are completed. they're in no particular order. i tried to find ones that are less known, bc idk how much you've read but i'm assuming all the popular ones are familiar to you. happy reading! 💖💖💖

Inevitable - Legendaerie - 8k - mature CLASSIC 'bkg thinks they've been together and kiri thinks he's still pining' TROPE. it's INCOMPREHENSIBLE to me why this doesn't have more fucking kudos!!! why!!!

Tiny Truths - Quirk Archivist (OneHitWondersAnonymous) - 4k - teen bkg gets de-aged. kid him reveals sth to class 1a, more imptly, to KIRI, abt some ideas about what it means to open a hero agency together. it's super adorable!!

Punch My Mouth with Your Mouth - QuestCat44 - 4k - teen bkg spars with deku more bc OfA is acting up and he's the only one in the know. kiri gets jealous but he's so good-natured that his jealousy is only bc he misses sparring/spending time with bkg. BKG, on the other hand, is worried kiri is mad for different reasons asdkjfhasdhfa

all according to keikaku........... - carolinaa - 8k - teen the title should already tell you how good this is. I LOVE JEALOUSY FICS WHEN THEY'RE MORE FUNNY THAN ANGSTY AND THIS IS SO FUNNY. kiri gets tired of deku being a pussy around todo and decides to flirt with todo to get deku jealous enough to do sth about it. bkg and todo are both horrified for VERY different reasons DHADSKDFHJS

doll me up - shizuumi151 - 6k - gen kiri gets turned into a doll by a kid's quirk and no one knows. bkg still ends up caring for him :’)

These Words Are Ours - deviance - 2k - teen soulmate au but bkg figures who's going to say his words before it happens, and honestly that's kind of the point. he's not the type to fall in love at first sight. he MAKES the choice to love kiri and that, my friends, is my kind of soulmate au.

all good things need sunshine - shizuumi151 - 3k - teen FLORIST KIRI. BKG WANTS A BOUQUET THAT SAYS 'FUCK YOU'

Flour Power - WingSongHalo - 26k - teen KRBK HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF A BAG OF FLOUR AND PRETEND IT'S THEIR BABY

feedback loop - bigstupidjellyfish - 1k - teen PRO HERO BKG GETS THROWN BACK IN TIME FOR A BIT AND MEETS MIDDLE SCHOOL KIRI AND HE'S SO SOFT TO HIM ASDFHKASDFJ. i am a big fan of bkg being a fan of kiri. i can't get ENOUGH OF IT. can someone give me more fics like this

mixed signals - bigstupidjellyfish - 2k -teen a short 'what if' fic where kiri and bkg went to the same middle school. bkg's still an ass but kiri's still his equal it seems, and is just as good as handling him as ever

Trash Goblin Finds Love - wrunic - 4k - teen COFFEE SHOP AU. BARISTA KIRI GETS SICK ONE TIME AND BKG MAKES HIM SOUP AND FORCES KIRI'S COWORKER TO DELIVER IT ASDJHFS

Dreaming of a White Mocha Christmas - let_me_wander - 8k - teen ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP AU. BARISTA KIRI AND HIS FAV CUSTOMER ;) GET SNOWED IN

Something Warm - let_me_wander - 15k - teen YES FOLKS IT'S A A A ANOTHER COFFEE SHOP FIC, THAT'S RIGHT!! BARISTA BKG THIS TIME. also kr is in a band and writes a song for bkg asdfhksjd

Kneel - deviance - 7k - explicit idk if you wanted explicit stuff but this is pretty light sub stuff, they're not even properly together at the beginning, and there isn’t sex til the end. i just liked how kiri is the only one bkg would rely on for sth this private, and it's more emotional than it is sexual?

Everyone Knows That Cats Are Independent - PurplePersnickety - 39k - teen YET. ANOTHER. COFFEE SHOP AU. but also?? daemons?? katsuki's got a lionness, and kiri has a...i'll let you find out. anyway they become closer and closer and closer and the flirting is so fucking excruciatingly obvious but cute and sdkjfhasdjs it's such a queer experience like 'is he...no he cant be...but what if he did like me - no that's not possible. but what if?' and they get so domestic sometimes i swear i'm about to puke from how cute it is. this is my fav coffee shop au ngl

Broken Bridges - DeathBelle - 68k - explicit plot fic!! krbk loses touch after gradutation. kiri comes back from korea and starts to work together with bkg, dealing with a series of murders and MAN the action is 👌 easy to follow but it hits all the beats, has that Flow. krbk being a power couple will never get old!!

Of Ghosts and other Inaccurate Things - chezka - 56k - gen pretty sure you've seen this one around but STILL. BKG FALLING FOR 'GHOST' KIRI IS BEST. this au really takes FULL COMPLETE advantage of the fact that krbk CANNOT TOUCH and the yearning practically astral-projected me back into the my past life when i was a dung beetle that got crushed under the foot of an elephant. it hurt, basically. but it hurt so good. JUST LET BKG HUG KIRI!!! happy ending ofc.

Catching Bees - MonocerosRex - 2k - teen bkg has to pay his classmates compliments. class 1a hijinks. the krbk in this is short but it made me squeal sdhfkakjl

i'm going to the forest to kick my own ass - WannabeMarySue - 5k - teen TODO PRANKS BKG BUT UNLUCKY FOR HIM BKG IS COMPETITIVE AND ACTUALLY LEARNS SOMETHING

Hair Care 101 - overlymetaromantic - 7k - gen ASDHFASDFHAJKS KIRI MEETS BKG'S MOM BY ACCIDENT AND GETS HAIR HELP AND THEY TALK ABOUT BKG AND IT'S SO. CUTE. AND THEN BKG DYES KR'S HAIR IN THE SECOND CHAPTER AND THEY'RE SO BLUSHY AND SWEET I CAN'T!!

Sometimes We Fall in the Dark - timetoboldlygo - 16k - teen BKG TAKING PHOTOS OF THINGS FOR THERAPY. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT HOW YOU PHOTOGRAPH THINGS YOU TREASURE 👀👀👀

Corn Chip - smol_bird - 23k - teen I DONT FUCKIGN KNOW WHY THIS DOESN'T HAVE MORE KUDOS. IT'S LITERALLY SO GOOD. DEMON KIRI IS JOKINGLY SUMMONED BY BKG AND FRIENDS. THEY FALL IN LOVE. KIRI HAS TO LEAVE. BKG IS DETERMINED NOT TO LET THAT HAPPEN. HAPPY ENDING. WHAT ELSE COULD YOU ASK FOR

'cause i love you for infinity - multiclassmaps - 23k - teen SDHFADSJFASD DEMON AU AGAIN. THIS TIME IT'S KIRI THAT DOES THE SUMMONING. BUT WHY DOES BKG SEEM SO FAMILIAR??? WHAT CAN KIRI DO TO MAKE HIM STAY??

to the beat of your heart - drifting_i - 8k - gen BAND AU. KIRI WORKS AT A RESTAURANT AND SOMEHOW BEFRIENDS DRUMMER BKG AND BKG'S BAND CAN'T BELIEVE THAT KIRI GETS AWAY WITH HALF THE SHIT BKG ALLOWS HIM TO

Playing Favorites - vaporeon_ninja - 2k - gen AKSDJFHJADHFKA BKG GETS CALLED OUT ON HIS KIRI FAVOURITISM

(Not Quite) Proposal - imatrisarahtops - 783 - teen DRUNK BKG IS SAPPY WITH HIS BOYF

something worth remembering - bbuggs - 1k - teen DRUNK BKG AGAIN!!! THIS TIME HE DOESN'T REMEMBER KIRI IS HIS HUSBAND AND HE'S SO DISTRAUGHT ABOUT KIRI BEING TAKEN SDFJHSK

A Dragon's Hoard - chezka - 10k - teen kiri gets turned into a dragon bc of a quirk. LOVE HOW DRAGON KIRI STILL LIKES BKG BEST

Love Notes - PurplePersnickety - 5k - teen LOVE NOTES BKG LEAVES LOVE NOTES FOR KIRI IT'S SO SWEET

Define: Oblivious - PurplePersnickety - 45k - teen this is the second part to Love Notes, it's still updating BUT PLEASE CHECK IT OUT TOO BC KIRI DOES STH SO BADASS DURING PRACTICAL TRAINING I LOVE HIM I REREAD THIS NOW AND THEN JUST FOR HOW COOL HE IS IN THAT ONE CHAPTER. also the steady, careful way krbk define their relationship and bkg's demisexuality is so sweet, so good.

The Hard Easy - dirtbag - 4k - teen this one is pretty popular but i still gotta mention it bc. kissing lessons. KISSING LESSONS!!! i love how eagar bkg is askdfhks

Kitsune's Pride - kytrin, Mslead - 147k - explicit okay this was A DOOZY like i???? the plot???? the time travel and the oni and kitsune stuff???? bkg and kiri being badasses??? bkg wanting the best for kiri and angrily supporting him??? this was the first time i kept up to date with a fic when it was still updating and commenting every chapte,r i was so hooked. and ALSO like the authors have written SO MUCH more longfics like this like they have NOVELS and i REALLY rec you check them out like....bro idk how they do they have so much out already and i think and they're updating two more rn and i'm. their bitch tbh

Burden of Proof - kytrin, Mslead - 153k - explicit OK ONE MORE REC FOR THESE AUTHORS. burden of proof is so. so fcukign good. i have adhd and these guys have never one lost me even tho their fics are upwards of 60k. this fic has dragons, it has plot, it has growth and healing and found families and i WISH i could write sth this intricate.

Burger Kings - plantegg - 5k - teen stupid teenage boys being stupid. kiri blackmails bkg into going on a date asjdfhkdsjfakd

Worth a Thousand Words - awareoftheconcept - 43k - teen SDKJFHASKH THIS IS A GUILTY PLEASURE OF MINE I KNOW THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION TROPE IS OVERUSED BUT I CAN'T HELP FALL FOR ANGSTY KIRI AND OMG THE CONFRONTATION SCENE AT THE END IS SO. SO. SO MOVIE-ESQUE I HATE HOW LAME I AM. basically everyone thinks bkg is dating camie asdkjfhskd

Day 6: Fandom - PullingAllMighters, SweetBrew - 9k - mature bkg and kiri don't know each other until they're pro heros and only bc they start a competition to see who's better and they go to each other's signings undercover and develop crushes on each other and deku is an enABLER ASHAHAJFS

Scales Ain't The Same As Feathers - Julietwasanidiot - 2k - gen GOD THIS IS SO CUTE BABY BKG "FINDERS KEEPERS" A BABY DRAGON KIRI SKDHFHD but he thinks kiri is a chicken

Charades - orphan_account - 4k - teen this is just soft....game night....at one point bkg acts out a really romantic word for charades and he's EMBARRASSED SDJFHA. also kiri falls asleep on him and there's some hair stroking....soft...

Cranky-rishima - PurplePersnickety - 29k - teen kirishima is the one with nightmares in this one and he gets CRANKY and BKG has to be the one to reach out and i thought that was such a fresh reversal loved it

No Secrets to Success - kingdoms - 7k - teen THIS IS MY FAV!! MY ABSOLUTE FAV JUST BC I LOVE IT WHEN FICS MAKE PEOPLE GAPE IN AWE FROM HOW SOFT BKG IS WITH KIRI. also krbk forming their relationship outside of school in this au was so??? sweet??? it's just them hanging out together. ALSO KIRI IS SO GOOD AT POKING BKG'S BUTTONS ASJDFHASK

Built to Fall - bigstupidjellyfish - 68k - explicit pro heros fic. they had a bad breakup in third year and oh god the angst is QUALITY. DW THEY TOTALLY MAKE UP AND IT'S SO FCKN WORTH IT. bkg also got therapy so he’s a little more stable as an adult lol

A Name That You'll Remember - heronfem - 33k - mature bkg is a fail!villain. he fell in with the wrong crowd when he was younger. he doesn't actually do anything wrong. in fact, all of his 'crimes' are generally stopped by kiri and somehow all end up exposing corruption anyway, so he's actually helping. kids love bkg. he always makes sure they're safe before he robs a jewelry store or sth. somehow kiri ends up flirting with him in all their fights and bkg has no idea what to make of him. the public can't get enough of them

strawberry mango sweet - redriotinggg - 9k - teen it's just a really sweet smoothie shop au!!! it's good reliable fluff!! what else can you ask for!!

cultivating something so divine - redriotinggg - 10k - teen redriotinggg yet again, i love this au, it's vet!au and kiri is so good at loving animals that bkg hires him and they fall in love and it's also got some competency porn, as in krbk are hella good at their job like power couple ayy

Tension Reduction - acernor - 10k - explicit Kirishima is a massage therapist and Bakugo needs help relaxing.

Mistletoe? Mistletoe. - Tearsaresalty - 2k - teen class 1a keeps making bkg kiss kiri and neither of them really mind wow i wonder why 🙄

#sdfjakjsdfsk ok i hope this tides you over #kiribaku #fic rec #bnha #💖💖💖#ask #Anonymous

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queen-scribbles · 3 years

Text

2020 Writer Review

tagged by @actualanxiousswampwitch and @crqstalite

Words: 323, 910

That’s, like, two novels. (quietly but with great feeling:what the fuuuuuccckkkk)

Published: 311, 717

Not Published: 12,193 (my sister’s Christmas present. Which she did love, but threw something at me for the interrupted kiss at the end >:3)

The Breakdown:

I’m not doing all the math for specific fandom wordcounts bc there’s a lot of them, but I wrote for SWtOR, The Wayhaven Chronicles, Dragon Age(all three :D), Shepherds of Haven, Speaker, Mass Effect, and Pillars of Eternity(both of them :D)

New Things I Tried:

Tried to do shorter pieces every so often, rather than just full on oneshots, the whole mostly-flashback thing for MEBB was new, and I found a couple new fandoms this year, so that was new characters to write.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Oh. MAN. UM. I always have so much trouble with this question bc I genuinely love a LOT of what I write.oh god. There’s so many.... Have a top five, not in any particular order

Taking Initiative (SWtOR; Keme/Jorgan >:3 I am so damn proud of this one)

The Sloth boss fight/final conversation with Niall in Of Warden and Pariahs (Dragon Age: Origins; combat is so frigging fun to write, guys)

A Good Idea (Pillars of Eternity; Tavi/Aloth, aka The Most In Character Thing one of my ships has ever done)

Plenty Special (The Wayhaven Chronicles; AJ/Nate and AJ&Felix)

Shatter fill from Wayhaven Week (The Wayhaven Chronicles; Kasey/Mason) (honorable mentions to the Nightmare and Tender fills)

Favorite Fic I Read:

God, I don’t remember what all I read last year. I know there was a lot, and it was all grand. UM. Shit. Here’s some. I’m sure there’s more, particularly on tumblr, where I don’t have any way to look back and go “Ah, yes, I read X this year and it was amazing”

Orbit by sunsolace both bc it’s really well written and bc I am always, ALWAYS a sucker for Revanasi. Just. KotOR was my gateway drug to RPGs, and Carth is my First BioWare Love, AND it’s well done on top of that. YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP

Wise Man’s Tree updated on Christmas so I can say that again :3 Critical Role, Perc’ahlia w/ a side of Vaxilmore (even if I sorta want to murder currie for Things rn)

On a Wing and a Prayer by lucyrne from the rarepair exchange, Dragon Age, Sebastian/Bethany semi-heist fic complete with first kiss, what’s not to love? :D

And, ofc, With Love by Tafka, also Dragon Age, f!Adaar/Barris, written for me in the rarepair exchange

Writing Goals:

More consistent work on OWaP would be nice. Maybe get through at least fuckin’ Redcliffe?Hopefull more. (look, once I can dangle reuniting with Jowan in front of Trinne like a carrot, I have a feeling she’ll pick up the pace xD)

I know I’ve said this like three years running, but I really do wanna work on the Brykar longfic. I do.

Work on the Inquisition Commander!Fenris AU more. It’s an intriguing idea and I wanna play.

Write enough things I love that that “Fave thing you wrote?” question remains horribly difficult to answer. xD

Words of Thanks:

Oh, man, I’m gonna forget people. That is a mark against my crap memory and not you <3 Anyone who reads/reblogs/comments on(include tag rants)/leaves kudos for ,my fic. ANYONE. Mutual, follower, random anonymous stranger on AO3, whoever. Thank you. I was gonna do a few specific shoutouts, but tumblr isn’t letting me tag? thanks, tumblr. I’ll leave it at that, then, I guess.

I’m not gonna tag anyone specific, but feel free to say I did if you wanna do this. ;)

#tagged #writer stuff

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bestworstcase · 4 years

Note

what are some of your eldritch horror inspirations?

oh hm lets see

in no particular order:

my first introduction to the genre was actually a kim possible fanfic series? i remember reading it as a teen and being like woah

the discworld series to an extent? pratchett’s riffs on the genre are excellent, in particular those from later novels in the series eg the summoning dark. (thud! was actually my first discworld novel for some baffling reason and i spent the whole book like “i have no idea what’s going on but i love this” skjdffklshsdk). this has also definitely had an impact on my lean into the more humanist or optimistic end of the scale

gideon the ninth is not eldritch horror per se but hot damn if it doesn’t have some glorious imagery.

annihilation (the book much moreso than the film, though the film has some nice visuals too). i keep meaning to read the other books in the trilogy but haven’t got around to it yet. the crawler hoo boy 👀👀👀

a pretty large assortment of books and short stories and plays actually. probably too many to list really; not all of them are eldritch horror themselves but anything with the right atmosphere or aesthetic or lore tends to work its way into my brain as an inspiration for my own particular blend of eldritch horror and dark fantasy; as a random selection off the top of my head, poe’s entire oeuvre, the road, the bacchae, euripedes in general actually, pretty much anything that was inspired by the year without a summer lmao, the dragonoak trilogy and sam farren’s work in general... magical realism anything, marisol comes to mind in particular just for its extra closeness to theatre of the absurd...

this one is a bit silly and honestly mostly just because it’s the Queen Hyperfixation and i will find a way to connect it to every single one of my other interests somehow, but alice’s adventures in wonderland, through the looking glass, and the hunting of the snark have all had a pretty marked influence on my development as a writer and have absolutely contributed to how i approach eldritch horror tropes in my own writing; and also nonsense literature is basically absurdist eldritch horror for children.

(especially the hunting of the snark, tbh. like go read it now if you haven’t before; it’s a treat and it’s gay and boojums are 100% just your classic eldritch abomination presented through a light-heartedly witty, child-friendly lens.)

relatedly: i love the american mcgee alice games. they riff on some aiw-related tropes that irritate me but idc that much because the atmosphere and aesthetic is just. so good and the gameplay is fun

relatedly again: a blade so black and the subsequent books in the trilogy (one of which isn’t due out until next year i’m suffering) do some really great stuff with nightmares as creatures that are empowered by humanity’s fears and, esp in the second book, the weird mystery of wonderland itself. and is just a neat urban fantasy take on alice in wonderland in general.

pathygen’s work and especially strings has been a big source of inspiration for me in the last, like, eight or nine months since we met. read it.

adhd distractibility has me stalling out in the middle of season 3 of the magnus archives but. yknow. it’s my jam 👌

like, theatre of the absurd and theatre of cruelty? in particular i recall a production of waiting for godot which i saw in college that leaned very hard into a horror-esque reading of the play and that was kind of a game-changer for my own creative outlook; in general these forms of theatre and the experiences they seek to evoke and the narratives they center share a lot of emotional overlap with the experience of good eldritch horror and, like aiw, have had a significant influence on my writing generally.

darkest dungeon is really fun and has a great aesthetic and strikes exactly the right balance between bleak and hopeful. the crimson court dlc especially was a total game-changer for how i think about vampires because holy shit

it’s not eldritch horror per se but subnautica is like. its ability to provoke dread is second only to the trial of blindness in hellblade (which is also def an inspiration, though again not eldritch horror per se. the enemy designs are really good tho) and the creature designs and lore are super cool and it does an excellent job of of getting across that... feeling of being insignificant in a vast uncaring cosmos (or in this case: ocean planet infected with virulent water-borne bacteria) and that’s enough to make it like, eldritch horror-adjacent in my mind.

tyranny is? another odd one in that it isn’t eldritch horror by any stretch of the imagination but idk. there’s something about the lore surrounding the archons and the spires + oldwalls that speaks to me and i love that so much of it is simply left unexplained. not in a way that feels half-assed or like the lore wasn’t well thought out, but rather in a way that truly gets across the feeling of an ancient civilization whose culture and magic/technology have decayed and been suppressed to the point of being completely lost by the time of the game; that’s a hard balance to strike and it’s totally my jam.

my gf got me into pathologic and i am veeeery slowly playing my way through the original game rn and holy shit. holy shit. the atmosphere and the slowly unfolding lore and increasingly bizarre plague itself and the despair and the grind it’s all so good.

i still need to actually play bloodborne, it’s been on my list forever, but every image and video i’ve ever seen is. hoo boy. hoooooo boy.

and honestly??? growing up as a very non-spiritual person in an evangelical family i think definitely predisposed me toward this genre because, idk. god as presented by evangelical christians is an eldritch abomination and i don’t have the spiritual inclination to convince me otherwise. so that’s something i draw from a bit as well lol

also as a final note i think it’s v important when talking about eldritch/cosmic/lovecraftian horror and inspirations thereof to say that hp lovecraft (and many of the contemporaries of his who participated in the expanded/shared universe we now call the cthulhu mythos) was virulently racist and xenophobic and this absolutely had an impact on his creative work. they codified this genre and that means that racism and xenophobia is kind of baked in to a lot of the basic tropes and they must be very rigorously, very critically evaluated when we use them to create new fiction.

#there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to the way this post is structured sorry #it's all stream of conscious Things That Inspire Me #also this is not exhaustive i know there's stuff i'm forgetting but i have drawn a blank #Anonymous

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