#no words only shame

[uncanny-tranny]

Your life isn't a to-do list. You're allowed to exist, to take life as slow as you'd like. The dreams you have won't suddenly disappear. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, or to engage with "childish" things, or to recover, or do what you need to.

#positivity #encouraging words #life doesn't need to be a speedrun or a 100% run #sometimes it feels like i'm wasting my life but... who gets to tell me what is wasteful? i'm surviving out here and that's okay #and it's okay if you're also somebody who people think is 'wasting your life' #that's such a meaningless and frankly a very cruel thing to say to a person #because you'll see people call somebody's life wasteful because they're simply coping with disability/mental illness/grief/ect #it's a meaningless saying to tell somebody how YOU think they're wasting life. your life isn't a waste point-blank #we ought to be kinder to ourselves for choosing what we want/need out of our lives rather than placating to what is imposed on us... #...or the expectations we impose on ourselves #be kinder to yourself whenever you can. it's hard as hell but please choose kindness toward yourself #just something i thought about and felt like it was impirtant to me #i couldn't complete high school 'on time' because of covid and because i was in crisis. i felt so much shame about that. i felt stupid... #...i felt unworthy. but who decided that i am those things? the crisis i was in could have killed me. i couldn't deal with school then... #...it humbled me because i had to learn that i am not immune to needing to be kind to myself. i am human - i'm not a mindless drone... #...you aren't a mindless drone either. you are an individual. you deserve to feel safe. you deserve understanding and compassion... #...but not ONLY from others. you deserve it from yourself as well

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

MC: Isaac won’t come out of his room!

Dazai: Just tell him I said something.

MC: Like what?

Dazai: Anything factually incorrect.

MC, shrugging: If you say so.

Isaac, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp mc #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp isaac #okay but the image of dazai saying that so casually #is just sending me #and isaac erupting in a fluster #dazai is just the living embodiment of that meme 'i don't technically believe in any of this im just using words recreationally' #it works like a charm when isaac is in his shame and/or sulking corner #trust a nerd (affectionate) to deliver when its about clarifying something #what i esp love about this is the idea of isaac trying to explain why dazai is wrong and dazai is like #fool that you are--i've never been right. but continue u nice funky lil scientist #dazai cares not for facts gentle isaac he cares only for his friends :> #lowkey i have to wonder how many times the mansion has used this tactic #how much do they throw dazai under the bus to motivate isaac and why is the thought so funny skgjlhksjhfd #source: incorrect quotes generator #all i imagine is isaac as plagg like 'this is called psychological harassment!!'

[icyheart-and-friends]

Please, for the love of gods, allow yourself to consume content/media uncritically

You can be aware of issues a show/game/movie/etc has but you don't need to be aware of it *all* the time, you shouldn't have to justify yourself liking it every time you go to talk about it.

You shouldn't have to feel like you're the worst person in the world just because you like something that happens to have problematic stuff in it.

And you're setting yourself up for failure if you go into something immediately looking for all of the bad in it, you're setting yourself up to be unable to enjoy it! And if you do manage to enjoy it it'll likely just feel wrong because of that!

I'm begging y'all not to consume *everything* critically and to sometimes enjoy things uncritically.

#its so fucking easy to end up demonizing yourself just because you like media thst isnt deemed “good” #i only just recently realized how fucking guilty id feel admitting i like watching helluva boss to other people outside of my circle. or #feeling thr need to warn people about the heavy racism in baldur's gate 3 for the fear of being seen as an awful person for praising the #game despite thst in it. fuck i even feel bad admitting i like watching law and order special victims unit bc of its content and how often #it just goes- *wrong* but like- i realized a lot of that is bc my brain and my ocd are constantly trying to take content in critically. #trying to always shame it bc its “bad” either bc of its content or its creators and thus my ocd has a field day of turning thst around to #meam that *im* bad because i enjoy it. which isnt fucking true. i enjoy iy #which isnt true. i can know stuff is not good/great for various reasons but i can still enjoy it without that inherently make me bad #anyway bc this is tumblr im already expecting people to try to twist my words and intents to make this seem like s horrible thing #idc atm bc my head hurts from trying to just exist and relearn how to enjoy stuff without fucking purity culture and my ocd shame watching #me lile a fuckin hawk #cant wait to see how freeing it feels tho once i stop giving as much of a fuck/worry

[thedreadvampy]

look I do not want to have this argument in the notes of a 5k+ post bc I will get crucified and so will the person who I'm arguing with

but see I made this post about the use of language and said I thought that words like rape or abuse or suicide are extremely necessary and that they can be uncomfortable words but that's because they're uncomfortable things?

someone in the replies said, quote, "that doesn't excuse y'all reblogging this without trigger warnings"

and like, far be it from me, a guy who spent a non-zero amount of time having panic attacks if I saw Chewbacca merch and once had a day-long dissociative episode because I saw someone carrying a guitar, to say what acceptable triggers are or how people should respond to them

but in this instance. I'm pretty clear that yeah actually it does excuse reblogging it without trigger warnings

because in this post I didn't at any point actually talk about rape, abuse or suicide, I talked about the words "rape", "abuse" and "suicide".

in fact in the original post I don't think I want into any more detail than I would in the tags "tw rape" "tw abuse" or "tw suicide"

which gets under my skin, right, because while there's no problem with choosing to trigger tag that post of you think it's helpful, demanding that this is such an Obviously Triggering post there's a moral obligation to tag it (because it contains the Bad Words) is uhhhhh kind of exactly what I'm talking about?

Language here is mistaken for the thing. Saying the word "rape" is construed as unambiguously harmful in a way that talking about rape without naming it isn't.

I have literally heard people begin to describe a rape, a domestic violence case, a murder, a suicide, in those terms - then stop themselves, change their language, and carry on describing these really specific, upsetting experiences with the clear understanding that they've removed the Problematic Part (now that they're saying "special cuddle" and "adult time" instead of "rape").

Part of what I'm reacting against in that post is exactly that - the idea behind the cutesy euphemisms and the censorship of important words like "death" and "rape" (and frankly "lesbian". and "sex" and "kink" and "porn"), which is this tendency to displace the discomfort caused by the word onto the word itself.

Obviously everyone's experience of trauma is different. But as a survivor I'm not triggered or disturbed by the word "rape", I'm triggered and disturbed by the act of rape, and potentially by conversations which describe or explore or evoke that act or experience.

And frankly I find it hard to believe that a significant plurality, let alone a majority, of people with PTSD connected to rape or abuse are so sensitive to the Word Itself that they must be protected from even hearing it named.

I am particularly clear on this with "rape" and "abuse" because, as I said in the post described, those are unambiguously words coined to create purposeful discomfort, because they're words coined to recognise the harm in very common and normalised actions.

If you've experienced rape, abuse, or whatever, and the words alone for those things are deeply distressing, I'm very sorry for you. That must be awful and I wish you well.

But a lot of the time I think when people start linguistically self-censoring (not "you can't talk about this topic without a trigger warning" but "you can't use this descriptive word without a trigger warning") they're not actually reacting to a debilitating trauma response, but to the fact that hearing the word inspires discomfort, because it puts an appropriate amount of weight on the topic.

you have to trigger tag for "suicide" but not for "unalive yourself" "sewerslide" or "kys"

you have to trigger tag for "death" but not for "no longer with us" "left the world" "unalive"

you have to trigger tag for "rape" but let's be honest not for a description of having sex with someone against their will, as long as you don't call it rape.

(btw people will blame this on the Algorithm but it goes back way further, we were having this Acceptable Words Discourse on Tumblr in 2012, you know? it's definitely accelerated by algorithmic control but this list of Bad Words as a shibboleth for Caring About People is old old bullshit)

(also the idea of trigger tagging on the basis of words rather than meaning strikes me as uhhhh suboptimal? especially when it comes to words created to talk about our experiences? like maybe there's a significant textural difference between a post which uses the word "rape" in a list of words that exist, a post saying "if this happened to you it may have been rape," an exploration of survivor feminism and the political positioning of rape, a list of rape prevention and recovery resources, and a graphic rape fantasy. like any of those might be things I don't wanna see, but they're very different in relation to each other and to my trauma, you know? and not wanting to see explicit discussion of rape doesn't necessarily mean not wanting to Ever Hear The Word. but that's another conversation.)

anyway this is all academic frankly because the thing you're objecting to is that the words are in the post. bc again, trigger tags on this post entail Exactly The Same Amount Of Exploration Of These Topic as the post itself

#red said #look man like I'm perfectly willing to believe this is someone who's genuinely distressed by the post and that's a shame #but what I'm not willing to believe. is that simply listing the NAMES OF some unpleasant experiences #is the most unambiguously triggering thing people who've had those experiences will have seen even in the last like 10 minutes #THE POST IS LITERALLY ONLY ABOUT THE WORDS

[dexter-erotoph]

i havent mentioned how unreasonably happy i am about this….. id say im like one of eyes’ biggest fans i love them so much

#i love how much of Kind of a dork they are in sm2 #and i am kinda scared we won’t ever see them in that kinda light again considering that they’re like a big thing that from now on only shows #up in serious dramatic moments AND the increasing tone shift of the show #but like. any eyes screentime is good in my book they are so fucking cool #i cant explain in words how much i love it Especially in horror(-ish) media #when there’s just something that’s absolutely fucking huge AND THE FACT THAT EYES IS LIKE #THEYRE HUGE BUT THEY ARENT LOUD OR FAST OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. ITS SCARY IN THE SAME WAY AS LIKE #BEING UNDERWATER AND SOMETHINF DEADLY OR LIKE POISONOUS FLOATING TOWARDS REALLY SLOWLY #AND THATS SO FXJXK IN G COOL TO MEEEEEE #MY FAVOURITE THING EVER #FOR LIKE. CONCEPTS FOR MONSTERS #and i just loveeeeee all their like hundreds of tentacle things and the big shiny eyes and the fact that they look like a little broccoli #AND THEIR TOOTHY SMILE IS SOOO CUTE 2 ME I LOVE EYESS #they’re like a weird fucked up dog to me. it’s a shame that their husband died #(moloch

[imthursdaysyme]

Robin Buckley and her Mother

#stranger things #drawing #robin buckley #you know when drawing this one I was comparing it often to my Steve Harrington one and his mother #bc stobin are inseparable and that's the facts #but anyway in steves you see his mothers full face multiple times #she is there and present #confronting and yelling at steve #but in robins you don't really see her mother #you see her eyes and her back #and in the photo of her back she's only in her underwear #and I did this bc well I wanted to show her moms body in the sense that you can tell she had a child “a mom bod” if you will #I don't know I just thought it was interesting to explore the relationship between them in an audio from tt or a song where the words #are saying something obvious about their relationship but then adding little things in the composition and details that also explain how #I personally view their relationship #there's the idea that Steve and his mom are cofrontational and also there's a easy way they face each other or stare each other down #but robin never really looks at her mother or the “camera” and neither does her mother #and they also are never seen in the same frame together #cause there's a shame and a way robin I think would hide from her mother if she always tells her what she's doing wrong or how she looks #and also if the mother is saying things like that there has to be unease in herself #in her own body that mimicks robins just older #I just think mother relationships are fun okay #also I made the mothers eyes green and I always make robin wear green and what kind of thing can I pull out of my own head canons but the #idea that she avoids her mother and claims she hates her mother but still gets the most comfort in wearing the color of her mothers eyes? #I mean loving someone and finding the most comfort in them while also having the most discomfort with them is so I interesting and I think #it only really works with that mother-child relationship #anyway #art #digital art

[ceniwen]

Chixiao streamer AU

#my art #xiao #childe #chixiao #please dont read a single word i write ever #i hc that xiao doesn't feel any shame LMAO #walks around the house with only shorts on #genshin impact

[cinnamon-phrog]

I feel too sick to sleep right now, everything's' too cold or too hot and I can't even breathe without thinking I'm gonna throw up

#it's because i've been drinking diluted juice #i swear the shit they put in that makes me delirious with fever #ughhhh so sick wish a nice big strong mechanoid could help me rn :( real shame #gonna drink water till the middle of the night. there goes my plans for a better nights' sleep :< #i do genuinely feel awful and i have been feeling so for a while and it's all my own doing. not eating healthy. stressing out and barely- #-sleeping. i have stretch marks from losing weight and circles under my eyes. everything's fuzzy. i keep forgetting basic things. #i'm worried about my future. i'm too disabled to function with a job but not disabled 'enough' just because i can speak 'clearly' #i've got no irl friends or family to fall back on. i can only travel so far and i get meltdowns far easier now #months ago i was treated like a pet. now i'm an adult before i ever got to be a child. #i want to be held. be loved without even having to say a word to each other. not even by an f//o but by someone who'll be willing to love m #but all i am now is sick and hungry and hot and cold and tired and awake. #i can't imagine how much worse it is for other people though. i've seen awful images and they're not even a taste of how terrible it is #i worry i won't be able to afford food in the future. or have a stable flat or apartment. that social services will let me down again #this year was meant to be a break but i'm constantly worrying about the time i become 18. my autism and lack of any social life- #will impact me and i'll be fucked over easier than ever. and that happens often #college brought me panic attacks where i'd physically harm myself till i got migraines in front of people and they didn't bat an eye #i could be kicking and screaming and begging for help but they'll just ignore me or infantilise me

[unholyverse]

my last yaypill of the day.

#i don't know why i did a gay ass leg pop when i hugged awsten and otto i think there's somethring wrong with me #the shirt awsten got had the words waterparksdrama on it so god only knows what was in his head reading it to jawn #also i kept seeing multi pic angles of me on twitter later so that was something #oh yeah i made the collar. i don't have shame anymore that's why #welcome to my twisted mind

[uncanny-tranny]

I've been thinking about modesty from a specifically trans lense lately. I was taught that modesty indicates shame, that modesty means you're simultaneously ashamed of being human and having a human body, but also that you are "purer" because you adhere to a hegemonic idea of modesty. Frankly, I just don't agree with this, and it was very much steeped in the idea of specifically christian ideas of modesty.

Before I transitioned, I felt very unprotective of my body because it never felt like mine to begin with. I didn't really care what happened to it, and while I was modest by other people's standards, I certainly didn't feel it. Once I actually started transitioning (and especially on testosterone), I've found that I'm so much more "modest" because I've become protective of my body. There's this stereotype that trans people start "showing themselves off" after transitioning, but I honestly feel the opposite. I'm possessive over my body and exactly how it acts and appears because I actually like my body, and it finally feels like mine. I'm honestly kind of selfish about it, and I think I've earned the right to be.

I made this post because I think this is an interesting topic, and I think it's interesting the ways in which we internalize the influences that be. It's also a reminder that no matter how you feel about things like modesty, you should adhere to what makes the most sense to you and what you are most comfortable with. There are pressures to be modest in this way or that way, but what truly matters is what you decide with your body and yourself.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #modesty #like i was looking into swim pants to wear under my swim trunks because i don't want people to be able to see my legs for example #like... they're MY legs not yours. get your own legs dammit 😡 (joking) #and i found i have no shame about myself since being more 'modest' because i do it out of self-admiration #and personally i have no ties to the hegemonic christian sense of modesty and what i was taught living in a *heavily* christian area #that's not to say i have an issue with christians and what they feel is modest but it's more specifically the shame surrounding modesty #the idea that being modest indicates that you're a 'better person' than those who sin (wearing short shorts or swearing) #that's not inherent to the religion from what i understand but i don't agree with it personally #and i do not believe that modesty (or lack thereof) is an indication of ANYTHING about a person #it doesn't tell you anything about their personality or their interests or what they think #it only tells you how they feel most comfortable existing or behaving and even then you often won't know the complexities of that comfort #i have an issue with the ideas about modesty but i use the word because it is easily understood and it is the language i have available #if there's a better term or word for sure let me know but i haven't been made aware of it 👍 #ANYWAY. i just think it's interesting #and if you're experiences are different from mine i genuinely respect you for it and platonically love you #and i hope you feel beautiful/gorgeous/handsome/cool and i hope you are comfortable <3

[februarys-wednesday]

never understanding y'all who hate shakespeare or studying shakespeare because ONE shakespeare fucks very hard and TWO if you are in like middle school high school it is the easiest shit to study i mean the EASIEST if you don't like to read shakespeare you can go to YOUTUBE DOT COM and type in ANY OF SHAKESPEARES WORKS and you will find a FULL PRODUCTION OF IT for FREE you SHOULD follow along with your book but you don't HAVE TO because you're experiencing shakespeare in the WAY IT WAS MEANT TO BE EXPERIENCED and you will ENJOY YOURSELF and you will LEARN SOMETHING and this is the ONE OPPORTUNITY YOU'LL EVER HAVE IN LIT/ENGLISH/WHATEVER TO WATCH THE "MOVIE" VERSION OF THE BOOK I CANNOT BELIEVE PEOPLE BITCH AND MOAN ABOUT HOW BORING AND DIFFICULT SHAKESPEARE IS!!!

#insufferable theatre freak nonsense #i fucking LOVE shakespeare #as literature but first and foremost as THEATRE AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE EXPERIENCED!!!!!!!!! #and it's the easiest shit to study #like hello it is pretty much word for word translated onto the stage #these writings are so sacred that people won't fuck with any characters lines or plot points #it's way better to study shakespeare watching in tandem with reading you will understand it so much better #i could go on forever #hate hate hate how schools teach shakespeare because he fucks heavily and is way cooler than the way we're taught it #it is a DAMN SHAME that i was the only person in most of my classes who actually enjoyed studying shakespeare #because i was already into theatre and i actually understood it #you have to be able to UNDERSTAND it to ENJOY it and the way we teach it doesn't teach understanding!!!!! #i'm being 100% fucking serious if ur studying shakespeare rn cause you have to for school look up a production on youtube and read along #you will actually understand what they're saying because it's being ACTEEEEDDDDDDDD #LIKE IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!! #okay anyways #theatreposting #shakespeare

[cheekblush]

Ask Polly - 'I Hate Myself and I'm Miserable Every Day!'

#ask polly #words #note to self #when sad #i REALLY needed this right now #i feel so much shame and self hatred it's eating me alive #i need to find a therapist just like polly recommends the person in her reply bc idk how to forgive myself on my own #if only it wasn't so difficult to get an appointment/find a good therapist but i think i'm gonna try again #i genuinely need help and someone to talk to it's gotten so bad again and i've kept so many things bottled up for years #☁️

[sttoru]

yk i never said anything about it, but seeing people hype up and drool over dad bods but stay absolutely away from / silent about mom bods makes me go… ?? 😟

#𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆. #the only men i’ve seen either dislike shame or hate mom bodies #meanwhile u got the women and teen girls hyping up their favs or irl ppl for their dad bods #and not a word is spoken abt mom bods bcs those are considered ‘unattractive’ by many #the stretch marks #saggy breasts etc after giving birth #and becming a mother #but when a man becomes a dad and kinda gains that ‘dad bod’ some go absolutely crazy about it #i do not understand .. like genuinely #yall letting the internalised misogyny get to you man 😭 #im not saying u cant like dad bods : in case there are people who cannot read #but dont go shaming or hating on mom bodies #anyway…. double standards ehem 🤷🏽‍♀️.

[percabeth4life]

And yes I do think that publicly shaming people for having fun on their fanfics and including, in a fandom where the author of the actual series is nowhere near accurate, "inaccuracy", is not only idiotic but incredibly rude.

Fanfics are for fun, people write them to enjoy their writing, they twist facts and pick myths to fit what fits their world. Let them have fun.

#especially when youre going on about direct wording #when I know for a fact that two of the ones mentioned were via interpreting the sheer number of #sea oracles/prophetics in mythology and beliefs #and going hmm theres a connection there #like youre not in charge of what people interpret #and youre not the only #expert #in the game #life speaks #life is angry #but its not like you asked any of the people you just shamed where they got the idea from #nooo you just started shaming them #(and me but less relevant) #literally what is your deal this feels like you trying to show off

[voidify333]

thinking about war & peace again… pierre bezukhov really is the original poor little meow meow

#war and peace #pierre bezukhov #great comet #(was my entry point into liking this story so I’ll tag it) #its a shame that the only thing most ppl know about this book is that its long #this is because its hard to summarise #the brick is about the same length in terms of both words and pages #but les mis is an easier story to summarise bc Valjean is a protagonist you can follow thru the whole thing #so its not so unilaterally known for being long #(also bc the brick is 35% digression by weight) #(like w&p has digressions too but just for military history and the epilogue essay destroying great man theory with facts and logic) #but w&p is a genuinely fun read the characters are so human #pierre is just this guy. this sad guy who reminds me of my own neurodivergent brain in a lot of ways #my journey was great comet -> miniseries -> book

[strawberryfemm]

there’s something sooooo fucked up and fun about learning someone’s hard limits and hearing that they only exist because “that just kind of seems icky” and then like three months later they’re squirming under you and cumming hard while you do the thing they said was icky before. interesting how that works.

#mine #anyways. my #bf and i have been nonstop corrupting each other this entire relationship. if you asked me a year and a half ago if i would have ever done #puppy play j would have been like ew gross. and if you’d’ve asked him about medical kinks he would have said the same #and look at us now #mostly this is about using the word rape though. oh u don’t want me to call it that? but u get wet when i do? interesting. seems like you do #seems like the shame & ickiness only makes it hotter. #and about um. other things but.