Tumgik
#no. EVERYTHING belongs in fic specifically because its fic.
watchmegetobsessed · 4 months
Text
MISTAKEN HATRED
A/N: okay im veeery nervous about this one bc its the longest story i've written in probably months and it took me sooo long to finish it so im just praying its not utter shit 🙃 anywaysss, happy holidays guys! it's not overly festive, but it has some vibes so im labeling it as my xmas fic haha feedback is always appreciated! 🎄
WORD COUNT: 6.3k
SUMMARY: Things don't go as smooth as you planned with your bakery's opening, but you're doing your best to overcome the struggles. However there is one person who is hating on your business as if it was his job: Harry Styles. You just wish you knew what you did to earn his hatred...
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is not how you imagined the last weeks before your official opening. 
You imagined the interrior to be fully done by now so you can focus on the last touches, ordering the right ingredients and promoting the opening.
Instead, you’re staring at what’s supposed to be your eight tables, intact and put together but it’s all in pieces. You specifically remember the website said they would deliver them done and you wouldn’t have to play puzzles. But they arrived six days late and very much not the way they promised. 
Taking a deep breath you stare up at the ceiling and decide to take the trash out before turning your bakery into Ikea.
“It’s alright. I can do this. I can do anything,” you keep telling yourself as you drag out the trash bags that are almost the size of you. 
You knew opening your own business would be tough. Especially in Eroda, the little town you have some of your earliest memories from, where your grandma used to live, the place that was closest to her heart and it breaks yours to know she couldn’t spend her last years here because she was too sick to live on her own. 
She never asked you to come back here, but the moment you found her recipe books the summer after she passed, you just knew what you had to do. Now it’s been three years and you’re finally opening Nana’s that will bring her warmth and love back to Eroda, or you hope so. 
Pushing the door open with your shoulder, you keep dragging the bags to the containers behind the small shop and you’re so deep in your thoughts you don’t even notice the two people just a couple of feet away.
“Hi, Love!”
You recognize Anne’s sweet, chirpy voice and a smile spreads across your face even before you look up, but the moment you see the person standing next to her, all joy just drains from your body. 
Harry Styles is standing as grouchy and arrogant as always next to his mother, hands hidden in the pockets of his fleece jacket, his unruly curls are tucked underneath his beanie and any normal woman would be into the man, but you. Not after he very clearly let you know you don’t belong here and you should take your business back to the city where you came from. 
You expected some resistance, not much has changed in town in the past decades and you had a feeling some might want to keep it that way, but you guessed older people would riot against your bakery, not a thirty years old grown man. 
“Hi Anne,” you smile back and mustering up all your strength you throw one of the bags into the bin, but you overestimated your muscle work, because it only falls to the edge and almost topples right out. Luckily, you grab it just in time and push it in.
“Oh, dear, those bags are bigger than you! Harry, help her!” 
“No, it’s alri–” 
Before you get to protest, Harry strides over to you and grabs the remaining two bags as if they weighed nothing and throws them into the bin without breaking a sweat. 
Of course he is fit, the man probably runs up the hill carrying twice his weight every morning, because that’s how you can imagine him working out. 
Though you shouldn’t be imagining anything about him.
“Thanks,” you purse your lips and square your shoulders as you face the two of them.
“How is everything coming together?”
Anne has been so enthusiastic about your bakery, she comes around probably every other day, checks in on your progress and always offers her help. 
“Um, it is… okay, I guess,” you let out a tired chuckle. Glancing over at Harry you see him looking to the side, as if he wasn’t even listening, but something is telling you he is very much focused on the conversation.
Yeah, that’s right, I’m still here! Not even your arrogance can chase me away!
Anne cranes her neck, peeking into the shop and she spots the pile in the middle.
“Oh, are you planning to put those together by yourself? Harry, why don’t you help her?”
The moment she suggests, you both protest.
“No, there’s no need.”
“Mum, I don’t really have the time,” he says at the same time, but it doesn’t seem to go through. Anne’s phone starts ringing and she excuses herself, leaving the two of you there. 
Great, this is all you were missing today, an awkward, forced situation with the man who wants to see you gone. Perfect.
“Should’ve ordered them done, don’t you think?” he speaks up, nodding towards the shop.
At first, you just blink at him, then close your eyes and when you open them, you have the fakest smile on your twitching face.
“What a wonderful idea! I totally did not think of that!”
“Then send them back and ask them to bring what you ordered.” He rolls his eyes and it’s irking you so much. You definitely don’t need his stupid advices, not when you’re terribly behind your schedule.
“They arrived almost a week later than they should have, if I send them back there’s now ay they will send me the new ones in time for the opening.”
Harry stands there, staring at the pile of furniture pieces inside and for a moment you think he might actually offer his help, which you’re not sure you’d have accepted, but it remains a mystery, because that’s not what he says when he speaks up.
“I’m busy for real. Mum likes to offer my help around without asking me.”
It takes you a couple of moments to figure out what you feel about what he just said. And when you finally do, you see red.
“As I said, I don’t need help. I did everything by myself and I will get this done as well. I don’t need your unwanted, half-assed effort to pretend like you’re helping me.”
You come off rougher than you probably should have, but he’s been bugging you ever since you moved to Eroda. The man knows nothing about you or your business, yet every time he comes near your shop he acts like it physically pains him to even look at it. He’d be the last person you’d ask for help, he doesn’t have to act like he has so much to do and doesn’t have the time to help when he doesn’t actually want to help. 
Harry stares at you with such intensity you almost break and stutter a sorry out, but that’s when Anne returns.
“Ah, we have to run. But I will come by tomorrow, Darling. And Harry can hel–”
“No need for help,” you smile at her as gratefully as you can force yourself to be in this moment. 
“Alright, then see you later,” she waves and you nod at her before your eyes meet Harry’s one last time before they walk away and you return to your shop. 
It takes you six hours to assemble the tables later that day, but you do it.
With no help. 
Tumblr media
Moving to Eroda, it hasn’t been your only goal to have your business become part of the town but you also knew you’d have to become one of the locals as well. Only a handful of people know who your grandmother was and you don’t plan to reveal it until the opening. You want them to taste all the baked goods and think of her first and then put the picture together. But this means you’re a total newbie for most people around. Last time you spent more than just a day here was when you were sixteen and you’ve changed a lot since then, so it’s natural people don’t recognize you. 
Anne has been your biggest help in breaking the ice and involving you in as many things as possible so you get to meet the people of Eroda. The weeks leading up to Christmas are usually filled with all kinds of winter activities locals enjoy wholeheartedly. Concert by the town hall, decorating the trees at the main square, collecting donations and cooking for those in need for example. You’ve been to all of these and very much enjoyed being part of the community. This weekend however, you can’t say you’re looking forward to the new festive activity.
Ice-skating on the frozen lake.
It sounds nice and fun, but you’ve ice-skated only once in your life and ended up breaking your wrist. Not your favorite childhood memory for sure and you don’t exactly want to relive it as an adult. 
You arrive with the intention of just sipping some hot tea and watch everyone else skate around until your fingers are falling off and you can go back to the shop to finish putting up the tinker lights at the back. 
Anne however had different ideas about today. Because as soon as you arrive at the lake, she is waving at you, holding up a pair of skates and you know they are not hers, because she’s already wearing those. 
“Kick those boots off, Love, I brought you my old skates! Come join us!” She smiles brightly at you from next to the pier where people get on and off the ice. 
“Oh, no, I don’t skate, Anne, but thank you!”
“Don’t be silly, even Bernie is on the ice!” She nods towards the old man who must be at least eighty, sliding on the ice as if he did this all his life. He might have, you have no idea.
“It’s really not for me, I–”
“Just try it! Come on!” 
She drops the skates by your feet and then slides away, leaving you no chance to protest.
Staring down at the skates, you can feel your stomach churning, but as you look up you see that literally everyone is on the ice, you’d look weird standing on the pier on your own. 
“Fuck,” you mumble under your breath as you give in and sitting down you start peeling your boots off your feet. 
“You’ll break your ankle if you leave it that loose.”
You know the voice and it just adds to your stress even more. You see his black skates in front of you as you’re trying to lace your own up.
“Hi Harry, so good to see you again,” you hiss through your teeth. 
“Tighten it or you’ll fall.”
“I’ll fall either way,” you mumble as you go back and pull the laces tighter. When you’re done you straighten up, but remain sitting on the end of the pier, anxiously string down at your feet. Harry doesn’t speak, but you know he is still there, probably watching you, trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, why you’re not just standing up and going at it like everyone else. 
Your hands are holding onto the wood underneath you for dear life as you picture yourself finally moving, but you never get to actually acting. 
“Do you need help standing up?” Harry speaks up at last and his voice is different this time. It’s not as arrogant, maybe even concerned. Do you look that awful right now?
“N-No.” Your voice cracks and you hate that it’s him who sees you like this. 
“Doesn’t seem like–”
“Would you stop being an asshole for a moment?” you snap at him and finally look up, eyes meeting his examining gaze. You have no idea what he sees in yours, but a few seconds later he breaks eye-contact, looks around as if he is hesitating before he sits beside you at last.
“You don’t have to skate if you don’t want to.”
“Tell that to your mother,” you mumble under your breath and it makes him laugh.
The sound of it is actually nice, surprising, but nice to hear something other than insults coming from his mouth.
“She can be a bit too much, but she’s just too enthusiastic.” You sit in silence for a bit before Harry turns to you. “You really don’t have to skate.”
“I want to take part, I just… I broke my wrist on the ice once when I was a kid and I haven’t tried skating since then.”
You didn’t plan on telling him much, but you felt like you had to explain why you’re being so dramatic. Part of you is expecting him to make fun of you for being scared of skating because of something that happened ages ago, but the arrogant comments never come.
Instead he stands up and when you look up at him he is holding a hand out to you.
“I’ll help you. You won’t fall.”
Any other day you’d think he is plotting against you, that he would get you to trust him and the trip you the first chance he got, but not this time. He looks and sounds genuine and as you take his hand, you put way too much trust into them than you would have ever allowed yourself to. 
You hold onto him with both hands and he keeps you steady as you finally attempt to push yourself up from the edge of the pier. Your knees wobble the moment your weight is on the blades and you instantly feel yourself losing balance, but Harry’s hands wrap around your arms and keep you from falling.
“It’s okay. Relax a bit, you’ll find your balance.” He encourages you and it’s almost strange to hear him so supportive of anything you’re doing, but not breaking your neck keeps you too busy to care about his random act of kindness. 
“Try to move forward.”
“I can’t,” you protest without even trying.
“You can, just relax.”
“Don’t tell me to relax, it’s not gonna help me relax!”
“Y/N, you’re gonna have a panic attack if you don’t relax,” he warns you and you realize how fast you’re breathing and all your blood is being pumped into your head. 
“I-I can’t, I can’t do this, I–”
“Y/N, look at me!” His hands snap to your shoulders and you grab onto his biceps as you look him in the eyes while your chest is still heaving. “I’ve got you, okay? You’re not going to fall. I’m holding you, I promise.”
Focusing on his words you finally forget about your fears and instead, you’re now trying to figure out where this version of Harry came from and why he hid from you all along. 
You’re not one to trust people that easily, but just from this one promise he made, you let go of all your doubts and hesitation. 
“Okay,” you breathe out. Harry nods and his hands slowly slide lower until they rest on your waist. 
“You knew how to skate, right? Before you broke your wrist.” You nod. “Alright, then it will all come back quickly.”
There’s a tiny smile hiding in the corners of his lips and your heart pitter-patters in your chest, but not because of the skating this time. His hands on you are not helping either, because for some reason, you feel heat radiating through the millions of layers you’re wearing where his hands are touching you. 
What is happening?
“Okay, I’ll hold your hand and you just focus on moving forward, yeah?”
You nod and panic rises in your gut for a moment when his hands leave your shoulders, but then they instantly take your hands and you feel safe again. 
Slowly you start moving, inching forward, your hands gripping Harry’s so tight, you’re afraid you might hurt him, but you’d never let go of him, not when you’re getting farther away from the pier. 
“That’s it, you are doing great,” he encourages. “Try to move a bit less rigidly.”
“Easy to say that,” you breathe out shakily. 
It takes time to loosen up even the tiniest bit and not grip Harry’s hand as if you wanted to crush his bones. But as you slowly move around the ice, led by him, you finally get more and more familiar with the feeling of sliding on the ice. 
“See? It’s not that bad,” he smiles when you stop for a short break after circling back to the pier. 
“I still fear for my life, but it’s bearable now,” you nod and he just chuckles.
It looks good on him. His smile is warm and welcoming, it’s a shame it took you so long to see it. You definitely prefer this version of him. 
“Honey, it’s so lovely to see you on the ice!” Anne slides over to you with ease, holding a cup of something warm, probably hot chocolate. 
“Well, it’s not quite my element,” you let out an awkward chuckle.
“You’re doing just fine. Besides, you just snatched up the best skater in town.” Winking, she bumps her hip against Harry’s. Your puzzled look urges her to elaborate. “Harry took over coaching the boys’ hockey team last year, the kids adore him!”
Instantly, you imagine Harry dealing with a bunch of cute kids, cheering on them, teaching them, making them laugh… The image is actually moving something inside you that’s been buried somewhere deep for a while now.
“Y/N, how are things coming together? Everyone is buzzing for the big opening!” Anne does a little dance that makes you laugh, but at the same time, something changes in Harry. 
“Um, it’s going okay. Not how I planned, but I’ll manage.”
“I’m sure everything will fall into place perfectly. And if you need any help just let us know!” She turns to Harry, looking for validation that he is open to lending you a helping hand as well, but his reaction is not quite what she was expecting, probably. 
“Sorry, I gotta go now,” Harry mumbles quickly, his gaze obviously avoiding you or his mother and he skates away so fast you just blink after him. 
“What’s gotten into this boy?” Anne huffs, but she lets go of it fast, starts chatting about something you don’t quite catch, because you just stare after Harry, watching him slalom between the skaters so fast it’s almost aggressive. 
And once again, you feel like you’re back where you began. He hates you and you have no idea what you did against him. 
Tumblr media
Theoretically, opening Nana’s two weeks before Christmas was a great idea, because you imagined all the baked goods people would order for the holidays, you knew it would be a great kick start.
Realistically, it means that now you have to do the last touch ups in the harsh winter that’s as cold as the North Pole. Or at least that’s how you imagine the North Pole.
It’s been non stop snowing for the past three days, the fresh, soft looking snow is now covering every bit of Eroda’s breathtaking view and though it’s very festive and nice to look at it from a warm room with something hot to drink, it’s not as relaxing when you’re still working on the bakery, doing the last bits of decorating and starting the first batches of baked goods, because in 24 hours, Nana’s is officially opening its front door to the public. 
You’ve been here since five in the morning, now it’s four in the afternoon but it’s almost entirely pitch dark outside so it feels like it’s nearing ten. The place is not a mess anymore, but the kitchen is, there’s all kinds of dough everywhere, you’re doing everything you can now so there’s less tomorrow, but even with all the work tonight you’ll be here at five in the morning again tomorrow. 
It’s been hours since the last time you looked out the window, so it fully goes over your head how heavy the snowfall has gotten lately, chasing home every soul from the streets. While you’re covered in flour and keep muttering Nana’s recipes to make sure everything is measured right, there is one more person out there who is still not home, battling the weather. 
Harry has been going around town all day, helping out the elderly with either delivering groceries, or repairing the heating, whatever they needed a helping hand with. He’s usually the person one calls in Eroda when something needs to be fixed.
The roads are now not quite safe to be driving around, but with his jeep he’ll be able to get home just before it gets too bad. Or so the thought, but that is until he drives by the bakery and sees the lights on.
At first he keeps driving, telling himself it’s not his business. But the farther he gets the guiltier he feels and then he turns the car around.
You’re too busy to hear the knocking at first, but then you hear it again and know it wasn’t just in your head. Rushing out of the kitchen you stop in front of the door, because through the glass you make out Harry standing there, the snow already covering the top of his head as if he’s been out there for hours. 
“It’s freezing out here, Y/N! Would be nice if you let me in!” he shouts through the glass and you finally snap out of your surprise, unlock the door and Harry practically runs inside. 
“What are you doing here?” You watch him shake the snow off of him and finally turn towards you. For a moment you forget about how you parted ways at the skating, how cold he turned out of the blue after helping you. 
“Funny, I wanted to ask you the same thing. There’s a snowstorm out there, you won’t be able to get home if you stay here!”
“Are you kidding me? I’m opening tomorrow, I have a million things to finish!”
“So you’re risking getting snowed in? Were you planning to sleep here or something?”
“Maybe! Yeah! I need to get a ton of dough ready and I still haven’t put up the tinker lights and I need to clean up…”
Harry stares at you with such a vivid look, you expect him to start screaming at you or something. But he just keeps staring until he finally breaks.
“Okay, where are the lights and where do you want them?”
“What?”
“You’ll spend the night here if you do everything alone. I’ll help and hopefully we’ll be able to leave when it’s all done.”
Now it’s your turn to stare at him as he is looking around, searching for the lights to start working, but you can’t really believe he is about to help you out when he could be home by now. On the other hand, you could really use the help and maybe finish earlier than midnight, so after pushing your surprise to the side you start instructing him. While Harry works on the lights, you return to the kitchen. 
To test out the dough for the croissants, the one thing you’re the most nervous about because it used to be Nana’s specialty, you decide to make a few and pop them in the oven while you do everything else. 
It’s hard to believe you’re finally at this point, so close to the opening, turning your biggest dream into reality. You wish Nana would be here with you today.
“Lights are done.”
Harry interrupts your thoughts and you wipe your floury hands into your apron before following him out of the kitchen to see the work he did.
“Oh my God, this looks perfect!” you gasp, seeing all the tinker lights run along the ceiling and walls, lighting up the place like magic. 
Harry just nods, pressing his lips together, as if it was nothing. 
“Anything else?” he asks.
“Yeah, I have a few pictures I want to hang up and then it’s all done–” The timer in the kitchen goes off, letting you know the croissants are done. “Let me take them out and then I’ll show you where I want them.”
You rush back to the kitchen and take the fresh, steaming croissants out of the oven, completely missing that Harry has followed you and he is now watching you curiously as you take the baked goods off the tray one by one.
“That smells like…” he speaks up, but the words die on his tongue and you just smile, placing one onto a plate, holding it out for him.
“Here, try it.”
He hesitates, but takes the plate at last. Though it’s still hot and he should definitely wait a bit, it’s hard to resist, you know that. You watch him take a tentative bite and wait for his reaction as if he is about to tell you your future. 
“So? How is it?”
“It’s… it’s really… good. Really good.”
It’s obvious he is having a hard time admitting you did something right, but his face says it all. You just don’t understand why he looks kind of puzzled, but you think it’s just because he didn’t expect it to be this good. 
“I bet the croissants will be the bestsellers,” you chuckle as Harry takes bite after bite until it’s all gone. He devoured it so fast it’s incredible. You couldn’t help but focus on his pink lips while he ate and those tiny sounds he let slip… they surely planted some thoughts into your head, thoughts you shouldn’t be thinking of when it comes to Harry.
“Come on, I’ll show you the pictures.” It’s your attempt to clear your mind.
You walk out and grab the box that holds all the framed pictures you want to hang on the walls, of course, all of them feature Nana. 
“Okay, so I thought a few could go over here, and then on that wall as well, and these, I want them behind the counter…” You start explaining your vision, but when you turn around you see that he is staring at a photo in shock. “Harry? What’s wrong?”
You step closer and see that it’s the photo that was taken on your tenth birthday. You’re holding up one of the cupcakes Nana made just for you and she is standing behind you, with her hands on your shoulders. It’s a fond memory, one of your favorite birthdays you ever had. 
“Oh, is it the dungarees?” you ask, pointing at your outfit. “I wasn’t quite the fashion icon back then,” you chuckle.
“No, it’s– who’s this?” he asks, pointing at Nana. You give him a puzzled look, because it’s not rocket science to figure out who the woman in the picture is.
“That’s Nana, obviously.”
“But as in… your grandma?” He finally looks up at you and his face is frantic, as if he is solving a lifelong mystery. 
“Of course, Harry, what is goin–”
“Y/N, Nana was your grandma?”
“Yes!” you laugh in confusion. “Of course she was, that’s why I’m opening a bakery under her name with all her recipes she taught me!”
You can’t read the look on Harry’s face as he puts the photo back into the box and then starts walking around with his hands on his hips. 
“Why do you look like you just learned you were adopted or something?”
“Y/N, I didn’t… I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?”
“That you’re… Nana’s granddaughter. I had no clue.” He runs a hand through his hair and you try your best not to stare at how his bicep flexes in the movement. 
“What? Harry, why else would I be opening a bakery, named Nana’s right here, out of every possible place on Earth?”
“I don’t know!” he admits, throwing his hands into the air. “That’s why I… Okay, this is why I hated the idea so much. Because I knew Nana, I loved her! She was like… my grandma too! And I thought you just chose this name for fun!”
“Are you kidding me?” you huff in disbelief.
“I felt like you were ruining her memory, that’s why I was so against this place. I had zero clue that you are actually… related to her.”
“Oh my God, Harry!” There’s nothing else you can do other than just… laughing. This whole situation feels oddly comical, like something that only happens in movies. 
“I know, I’m sorry!” He exhales sharply and you truly see the regret on his face. “I was such a dick.”
“Yes you were!” you laugh in agreement. 
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
“Well, now at least I know why you were my biggest hater all along.”
“Not anymore!” He holds up his hands and finally breaks a smile that looks so fucking handsome, it makes you forget about everything in a second. 
Turning to the side he stares out the window for a moment before looking back at you.
“The snowing has stopped, let’s wrap things up and go home, alright? Big day tomorrow.”
You both go back to work, Harry finishes quite fast with the pictures so then he helps you clean up in the kitchen and you notice how obviously different the vibes are now. There’s no trace of his usual hostile behavior, in fact he is so open as he asks you about Nana and how the idea of the bakery came. Then he tells you about her as well, how he has known him for so long and after the passing of his stepdad Nana helped him through the toughest time of his life. You’re surprised the two of you never met when you were visiting, but you believe in faith and it must be because it wasn’t the right time. 
It’s almost ten by the time you’re locking up while Harry is scraping the snow off his jeep. It’s rather eerie to see the town so empty, but it’s also pretty, the untouched snow covering every inch of the scenery. 
“Thanks for the help. And the drive home,” you say when he has parked in front of your house. 
“I’ll pick you up in the morning as well.”
“What? There’s no need, Harry–”
“Just accept the help,” he flashes you a crooked smile. “I have a lot to make up for.”
“What if I say you’re forgiven?”
“Then I’ll do it because I want to spend time with you.”
His answer comes so fast and honest, you can’t mask the surprise on your face as you stare at each other in the dark car.
“Um, alright then. See you in the morning.”
“Good night. Y/N.”
You fumble with the belt and then climb out of the car, still feeling kind of giddy from his words. He waits for you to get to the front door and you wave at him before walking in. Through the closed door you hear the engine roar and he drives away, leaving you with quite a lot to digest.
Tumblr media
Never in a million years did you imagine the opening of Nana’s to be like this. The small bakery is full to the brim, there are people everywhere, you haven’t stopped thanking everyone for the love and support and your heart leaps in your chest every time you hear someone talk about your beloved grandma. All the pastries are selling well, but as expected, the croissants are the biggest hit. 
But it’s not just the opening that has you smiling ear to ear.
Harry did show up early in the morning and he’s been helping you out all day as if he was getting paid for his work. In the kitchen, at the counter or by the tables, he’s been a one person army and your hero. You couldn’t have done it without him. 
You have just a couple of seconds to breathe between two customers and you peek over the crowd, spotting him right away by the table his mom and her friends occupy. He just made them laugh and he’s basking in their attention as he rolls the sleeves of his shirt up, revealing his tattooed arms. 
Fuck, he looks so good, it’s criminal. 
Now that he is not an asshole to you anymore, it’s pretty hard not to notice everything you’ve been trying to ignore about him. His charming dimples, his bouncy curls, the way he throws his head back when he laughs, how his nose moves when he talks, they was his hips sway when he’s walking… there is not one inch on the man you can critique.
The situation would be a lot worse if it was one-sided, but it appears that Harry is just as keen on being around you, always touching your lower back when he walks behind you, or brushing your arm to get your attention. 
“I’m seriously writing you a paycheck when it’s over,” you tell him when he returns behind the counter grabbing some cinnamon rolls to bring to the ladies by the window.
“I thought that we were already over this, Y/N,” he smirks and you bite into your bottom lip as you turn back to the customer in front of you. 
It kind of goes by in a blur, there’s so much happening, you’re always on the move and before you could even process the events, the day is over and Nana’s is closing for the first time. After the constant crowd, it’s weird to see the place empty again, but seeing that everything has sold, it finally settles in your mind: you did it.
As you turn the sign on the door your eyes slide over to the picture on the right. It was taken in Nana’s kitchen, you were about six or seven, the two of you are photographed from behind as you stand on a stool, next to Nana at the counter while she is teaching you how to make bread. The memory still lives vividly in your mind even though it’s been over two decades.
“She would be so proud of you.”
Turning around you find Harry behind you with a soft smile on his lips, his eyes on the photo at first, then they move to you and your heart skips a beat.
“You think so?”
“I know so,” he chuckles.
“So, I was serious. I owe you a paycheck after today.”
He rolls his eyes before arching an eyebrow at you.
“And I was serious when I said I don’t want anything in return.”
“You’ve been here since six, Harry!” you huff out a laugh. “I would feel so bad if you just went home without anything.”
He stares at you for long moments and you start to think he’ll just let you suffer with your guilt, but then he speaks up.
“Go on a date with me then.”
You suck on your breath as your eyes lock with his.
“What?” you whisper.
“Go on a date with me, Y/N. Will you?”
“I-If you’re still trying to make up for–” you start, but he cuts you off.
“I’m not. I told you, I want to spend time with you.”
You blink at him once, twice, as if you’re waiting for him to say it was just a joke, but he stands his ground with a serious look.
“Are you gonna leave me hanging?” he smirks, snapping you out of your haze.
“Yes–I mean, yes to the date!” you shake your head, clearing up your answer.
“I was afraid you hated me too much to give me a chance,” he breathes out a shaky laugh.
“I never hated you, I was just confused. You were the one who hated me.”
“I couldn’t hate you, Y/N. And believe me, I tried.” You both laugh at his words. “I was frustrated, because I wanted to hate you and this place so badly, but still… I was drawn to you.”
“You were?” you ask, your voice barely more than just a whisper.
“You have no idea how much,” he admits with a soft smile, stepping closer to you. “When we were skating, I totally forgot about everything and just wanted to hold your hand and help you. It was like a slap across my face when mum brought the opening up and I remembered I was supposed to hate you,” he admits with a chuckle and e inches even closer. “I’m glad I don’t have to try to hate you anymore.”
“I’m glad too.”
He is right in front of you, his face only inches away from yours and you suck on your breath when he reaches up and takes your chin between his index finger and thumb, angling your head further up so your lips are now perfectly lined up with his.
His eyes move down to your mouth, then up to meet your gaze and even without words you know he is asking for your permission to kiss you. You push closer and he is quick to close the distance and press his lips against yours.
You’d be lying if you said you never imagined what it would be like to kiss Harry. Because you did, several times. But nothing compares to having him wrapped around you, his lips so soft yet rough against yours at the same time as he kisses you over and over again while you’re fisting the collar of his shirt so tight your fingers are turning white. 
Maybe you kiss for hours, or maybe it’s just minutes, you have no clue, but when he finally pulls back, resting his forehead against yours, you just know your life is about to turn upside down.
“Changed my mind,” he speaks up at last.
“Huh?”
“About the payment.”
His words sink in slowly and your eyebrows rise.
“Oh.” Harry laughs at your reaction.
“I want my payment in kisses,” he then says with the cheesiest smile you’ve ever seen on his handsome face.
“That could be arranged,” you breathe out when you finally get what he was talking about and grabbing the back of his neck you pull him in for another one. 
And another one.
And some more.
And just like that Nana somehow brought another wonderful thing into your life, even though she is not here anymore.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
768 notes · View notes
star-girl69 · 4 months
Text
Love Song
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader
—-
a/n: just needed to do some general hc’s to get all my thoughts in order i hope you all enjoy!!
Love song - Lana Del Rey
warnings: the formatting is weird idk why i can’t fix it but y’all will live, swearing, a little itty bitty bit of violence, every facet of clarisse finding its way here and i love them all, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
i’m sure we all agree on this
but clarisse is very protective of you
even if you’re a very capable fighter, even if you’re even better than her, clarisse is still so protective of you
i mentioned this in one of my fics (maybe so it goes…????) but like the reason behind this is the fact that clarisse is just SCARED
she is terrified of losing you bc you are the only one she feels like she can be herself with
like clarisse is insane!!!!! in a good way!!!!! but also she’s a 17 year old girl…. she wants TO BE LOVED
she tries to talk to you about how she feels about her dad and about everything else in her life, but even though she doesn’t want to be, she’s locked up like a vault
she knows her emotions are always super intense and she has big reactions
major anger issues but they’ve gotten better with age
the problem is she spent her entire life being told that she needed to calm down, that she couldn’t feel like that all the time, and she just tried to shut down
obviously that did not work
but it still makes it virtually impossible to talk about her feelings
when it comes to you tho she’s an open book
she’s a daughter of ares she’s headstrong she’s proud and her fatal flaw is PRIDE
i mentioned this before but she wants everyone to know that you’re hers and she’s yours
your relationship is partly very public
she’s not afraid to touch you or kiss you
she’s not afraid to show you off and (needs to) show everyone that yes your beautiful self belongs to HER
so naturally she gets very jealous
even when you’re like clarisse you are INSANE
there’s been a few times when you first started dating and you were still getting comfortable and weren’t that public yet so like someone would flirt with you
it went like this
boy: hey what’s up you’re kinda fine
y/n: oh! oh yeah no….. no…..
clarisse: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU—
then she started attacking him
lost dessert privileges for a month, she proudly declared that it was worth it (besides you would sneak her bites of yours like)
now that everyone knows you’re hers her jealousy is rooted a lot more in delusion and insecurity
you’ll be like in a group talking someone and she’ll pull you closer and be like “i think that guys staring at you a little too much.”
“clarisse no the fuck he’s not what”
b/c of the fact that she isn’t a son for her father she gets insanely jealous if specifically a MAN gets even an inch too close however innocently
she doesn’t want to think it but she thinks you’ll eventually realize her father is right and she’s not as useful or good bc she’s a girl
most of the time when she gets jealous bc of her insecurities she just becomes extra clingy
but also any emotion she feels she gets extra clingy to you so sometimes it’s hard to tell LMAO
she isn’t really a big hand holder but that’s only because she’s actually holding you CLOSER to her by your waist
also one more note about your relationship publically
everyone gets whiplash bc like she’s a BULLY fo everyone else and then you walk over and she’s all heart eyes
i hate everyone but you trope save me
save me i hate everyone but you trope
THIS HAPPENED IN IN A GOOD WAY
clarisse: pushes percy over
you: nuh uh clarissseeeeeeee
clarisse: omg hi beautiful gf
you: touches her shoulder, looks at her disapprovingly
clarisse: fine i’ll go, *scares percy*, bye bye beautiful ily
like she’s just being a bitch and then all of a sudden you come around and she’s like hiiiiiii babyyyyy how is my gorgeous gorgeous girl today??
so outwardly clarisse is just very proud and touchy
privately she lets herself be a little more chill
this is where she really touchy you thought before was worse nah
idk if y’all have noticed but in my fics clar’s always holding on y/n’s hips and that’s just me self projecting bc i have the most horrid hip dips but my point still stands
SHE LOVES YOUR HIPS
would totally call them “love handles” IM SORRYY
but she just likes having a place to hold where she can just like kinda actually physically grab you with her hands
like yeah she can wrap her arms around your waist but she likes to GRAB you
cuddling w her is fun bc like this girl cannot get ENOUGH of you there’s only like three ways you cuddle
you on top of her whether just like completely on top of her (one of her favs) or just with your head on her chest
this is what happens whenever you feel scared
like there was a monster attack just near the barrier and you’ve all been feeling uneasy all day
TRUST you are sleeping in her bed tonight
wraps her arms around you so tight it’s like she’s crushing you
also she’s running your back or caressing your head whichever you prefer
she keeps her spear right next to her bed and makes sure you can see it so you know however subconsciously NOTHING can hurt you bc she’s right there (nothings gonna hurt you baby vibes)
or she’s on top of you this one usually happens when she’s feeling a little extra insecure and jealous and it’s like no one can see you if she’s on top of her so then you’re hers
she isn’t the smartest one in the bunch but she has good intentions!!!!
also she lays on top of you if you get hurt
like after so it goes for example when y/n got that little cut on her hand
you’re like “clar pls you’re crushing me”
“um ok you scared the shit out of me today tho you need to LET ME do this fuck”
third option
you’re both laying on your side and facing each other legs tangled together and she’s probably whispering to you
she’s a big whisperer i feel it in my heart
like tracing her hands on your face and saying your so beautiful or telling you how you make her feel
oh lord take me now
also she loves you the way hozier loves
“someone asked me in the end i’d tell them ‘put me back in it’ // darlin’ i would do it again // if i could hold for a minute”
“when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth no grave could hold my body down i’d crawl back to her”
like she BREATHES for you
if she died and then you were like “i miss you” trust she would find a way to come back to life
totally daydreams about going on such a fantastical quest that the gods offer both of you immortality so you can be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever
like if the world ends y’all would still be there having a little picnic date
devotion is the only word that comes close
anyways
ok nicknames she calls you:
baby, angel, gorgeous, pretty thing/girl, beautiful, lovely, dummy (lovingly)
(recently saw a few posts abt clarisse saying mama/mamas i may be swayed)
dates she takes you on:
forces you to train w her even if you don’t like it but she lets you win OBVIIIII, under the stars in the woods, take your dinners to go and sneak back to either hers or your cabin to eat together, secret makeout sessions in the bathroom her cabin your cabin anywhere she can get her hands on you
this is so random but i get horrible migraines and i am ADDICTED to these like headache relief frequency sounds on youtube i swear they work and i was like omg you can’t have electronics at chb I WOULD NOT SURVIVE
so if you are a real one like me and get horrible migraines but this goes for being sick in general she’s like a little puppy pretending to be a wolf barely holding it together
she’ll be like at the foot of your bed begging you not to go into the light while shouting at someone at the same time to refill your water
you like have a cold
she would rub your temples if you had a headache and she would literally be like a doll for you to move around like oh you wanna lay on her chest? by all means
you wanna lay upside down with your feet in her face? as long as you get better you can do whatever you want!
you don’t wanna touch her at all? that’s where she draws the line
you’ll be like “ugh i’m hot get away from me”
“okay ☹️☹️”
“why are you touching my feet with your feet”
she places you above everyone else
like yeah other people are ok…….
but you 😍😍😍😍😍😍
this is slightly cringe but she would fr burn the whole world down and not let a flame touch you
LIKE HAVE YALL SEEN THE ANONS IVE BEEN POSTING AND THE CAPTURE THE FLAG THINGS 😱😱😱😱 (y’all always check my blog im always posting the funniest shit bc i’m funny)
“you’re one opposite teams blah blah blah you get hurt clarisse drops EVERYTHING to help you even if just a paper cut” (i have no chill fic coming soon)
THEN THEN the other one that was like “ok but what if you ACTUALLY get hurt like broken leg”
clarisse just goes crazy when you’re hurt
in so it goes: “what if that cut gets infected?”
you’re her WORLD she literally can’t stand the thought or something happening to you or else she starts literally shaking in anger and sadness
but when clarisse gets hurt it’s a whole other story
LIKE FUCK YOU JUST WANNA CARE ABOUT HER AND SHES ALL LIKE “it’s chill.”
NO ITS NOT YOURE GONNA BLEED OUT 😭😭
clarisse never let’s anyone but you see her true emotions
like yeah when you’re in public and you’re being cutesy she starts smiling and everyone is SO confused
but still
she never lets anyone see her as WEAK
so she always downplays her injuries in terms of how much they hurt, but flaunts them off proudly at the same time?? yeah that makes sense
after a capture the flag game you march her to the bathroom with a first aid kit “ok baby take off your shirt”
she always makes some flirty comment like SHUSH NOT RN
then she has all these bruises and every once in a while a cut from someone’s sword
you’re like 😔😔💔
you’re the only one she will let clean her up
unless she like breaks a bone or needs stitches (which has never happened) no way in hell she’s going to the healers
if you’re a child of apollo or smth she’s like “i literally have my own person healer right here…..”
anyways i think that’s all but i will probably be updating this when i think of more stuff bc as we know i have no chill
thank you all sm for reading and reblogging and liking and commenting and sending all of your WONDERFUL asks they make me so happy i’m always giggling when i get one
anyways bye bye 😘
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme
567 notes · View notes
sugarlywhispers · 1 year
Text
b.katsuki + doctor!wife saves his life
☆— fem reader, ANGST, fluff, swearing, descriptions of blood and medical procedures.
☆— a/n; i wrote this a while ago, and i apologize beforehand for any mistakes. i'm not a doctor.🙃
☆—context; reader and bakugou have an arranged marriage. reader is quirkless, but her parents aren't. a business made by his parents and hers made them end up married. bakugou and reader have hated each other since they met; however, lately they had improved their relationship a lot by this moment.
☆—context2; let's pretend for the sake of this fic that morphine and nitroglycerin don't work well together, and it's deadly when combined. you'll understand why in a bit. *wink wink*
Tumblr media
"Miss Y/L/N, you are needed in the ER urgently. Please, direct yourself here. I repeat, Miss Y/L/N…"
You looked up from the wound you were checking on one of your patients in the ICU to the speakers of the hospital. The voice even sounded urgent, which was kind of unsettling and strange; however your movements didn't hurry. You realized the severity of the call when one of your colleagues entered the room and urged you to hurry and go while she would take your place in caring for the patient you were currently with.
And it felt like a bucket of cold water when you saw Uraraka standing at the door of that room, looking all beaten and tears streaming down her face.
Oh, no.
The only reason she would be here looking like that was because of a fight that ended badly with some villain, like any other hero would likely be there, at the hospital for. However, the fact that she was there, looking for you specifically…
It only meant one thing.
Bakugou.
The next thing you knew is that you're running. The voice of your boss in the very back of your mind nagging at you, "do not run in the hospital!"; but you couldn't care less. Especially not now. You could also hear Uraraka running behind you too with some difficulty; and you felt a bit bad about that. She was also hurt and you should have attended to her wounds, yet he was the only thing you had a mind to care for at the moment.
When you entered the ER, it was chaos. Pro heroes, injured all around the place; even Izuku was sitting on a gurney, a nurse stitching a new open wound in his right arm, face bloody and bruised, dirt all over him. Kaminari was laying on the one next to him, also bruised and passed out.
As your eyes traveled throughout the whole place, you realized every Pro Hero you knew was there, everyone who had belonged to Class A especially. But you couldn't find Bakugou.
All the air in the room felt scarce when you saw Kirishima move around and discuss something with a doctor in one of the private rooms.
Oh, fucking no…
Everything seemed to move in slow motion as you directed yourself there, the beatings of your heart deafening you almost completely, your attention solely in that room where you knew for sure Bakugou was in.
When Kirishima saw you entering the room, he immediately stood close to you, his face also bruised and bloody and dirty, eyes full of tears that fell through his cheeks. He grabbed you by your shoulders and begged you to do something. But your eyes didn't leave the man, your man, laying there, unconscious, blood that slided from his head towards his face; one of his eyes was bloody and swollen and his left shoulder was dislocated. You could hear the bone going back to its place when another specialist put it back.
But your attention was on the monitor, where it showed his vitals getting lower and lower. Another doctor was doing CPR on him, which meant his heart was giving up.
"Y/N, please…"
Kiri's voice sounded very far away, when you could still feel him right in front of you, his hands starting to shake your whole body.
"Please, Y/N, do something!"
The movement of a doctor that suddenly held a syringe close to Bakugou and Kirishima's yell brought you back to your senses.
"DO NOT FUCKING MOVE!" You exclaimed, realizing what all of that scenario was about.
They were about to put Bakugou in a medical coma; and Kirishima and you knew what that meant. Morphine. They were about to inject morphine on a body that mostly had nitroglycerin inside. They were about to kill Pro Hero Dynamight, a.k.a. Bakugou Katsuki, a.k.a. your husband.
Kirishima sighed deeply, relief kicking inside his body as he cried, while everyone froze looking at you surprised. You immediately moved next to Bakugou as you checked on his vitals, your doctor skills possessing your body as you tended to him fast and meticulously and scolded at the same time at the other doctors for not realizing sooner their mistake that almost took your husband's life.
"But, if we can't put morphine on him, how do we take care of him?" You want to swear from there to hell at that doctor. He was obviously new, but he was asking what probably everyone was wondering. And you couldn't blame him for that.
Your mind started to run at two hundred miles per hour, trying, begging for it to find a solution.
Nothing.
"Y/N…" Kirishima called, still crying.
Nothing.
Your eyes filled with tears, so you closed them.
"Y/N," he called you again.
Nothing.
The air that went inside your lungs started to burn, and the exhale hurt your chest heavily.
"Y/N!"
"Shut up!" You yelled back.
All the blood in your body rushed to your chest and head, a pounding pain annoying your process of thinking. You hated-...
You opened your eyes suddenly. 
The blood.
"Blood," you whispered. "He needs a blood transfusion, NOW!"
"Y/N, we don't have his blood type available…"
"What?!" It's both yours and Kirishima's yell, at the same time.
"Fuck," you finally cursed.
And then it enlightened you.
"Connect me," you said as you moved, putting tubes and cables around you and Katsuki. Another doctor asked what you are talking about, "I have the same blood type. Connect me to him, that way his blood renews constantly as you heal him. It will help him stay."
Your relationship with Bakugou was complicated; hell, complicated didn't even hold the entirety of what it was. Having had an arranged marriage, hating each other's guts since the very first day you met, really didn't help you two get along well.
But he kept his promise to protect you, to provide for you. To be there for you, always.
Every day, he woke up first and always left you breakfast ready for when you finally got up, sometimes lunch too; he would always send a text message during the day reminding you to eat, to take a break here and there–in his own way, of course, full of swears and contemptuously.
You never backed away though, you always answered something annoying back that surely started another fight, another discussion between you too.
However, it didn't matter the fight, or what was said in that fight, Bakugou would always stay.
He would always lay in bed next to you at night; if the fight heated up too much, he would go on a run to cool himself down, but he would always come back home.
He would always stay next to you.
Kirishima was asked to leave the room as everyone started moving around you and his best friend, he saw as a cable connected directly your blood with his. He didn't really know what that meant, but he knew something. No matter how much you two fought, or how different you two were…
You loved him.
And he knew Katsuki loved you.
Even when none of you had admitted it yet.
But everything was confirmed to him when he heard you whisper at Bakugou, "Stay, please stay."
.
Bakugou Katsuki felt as if a brick wall fell onto him. And that was a new experience. He had been thrown at walls and through walls, but never one fell over him.
And it fucking sucked.
The white hospital lights hurt his eyes when he tried to open them, and there came all the other feelings. His left shoulder burned and felt tight–it didn't take him much to understand that it probably had been dislocated and the tightness probably came from bands that held it so any kind of movement wouldn't interrupt the process of healing. His legs felt like gum, like even if he tried to move them, the heaviness wouldn't allow it; but they were there, he could feel them, so that was good. His chest though…
It felt so heavy, probably if he paid enough attention he would be able to see the beatings of his heart through the scarred skin. He wanted to grunt annoyed at everything.
He then realized that among all the cables and tubes that were connected to him, there was one that made him feel a bit tingly, because he could feel whatever was that they were injecting him.
He fought against his eyelids until he could open them, and he wasn't expecting what his eyes found–well, one of them, because the other one was so swollen he could barely open it.
You were resting on a big reclining chair next to his bed with a hospital duvet over your body as you slept, a frown in your eyebrows showing how stressed you actually were. He had seen that frown before, sometimes at night when you went to sleep, when you both were laying on your sides but in front of each other, in the bed you shared. He would never fucking admit it out loud, but he sometimes would massage lightly in between your eyebrows until the muscles finally relaxed while you slept. Your face was laying uncomfortably to a side that made Bakugou think that position would probably make your neck hurt once you woke up.
And then he saw it.
The duvet was covering all your body, in exception to one arm that was over it, showing a small tube that clearly connected your blood with his. That's where the tingly came from.
Oh, fuck.
"Oh, you're awake, man," Kirishima's voice distracted him for a moment. He turned his head towards his best friend, who looked as shitty as himself.
Kirishima smiled at him, a whole bunch of emotion written all over his face.
"Fuck," was Bakugou's first word, with a raspy voice that didn't sound like his own, "Was it that bad?"
"You almost died," his best friend's voice cracked a bit, trying to hold back his emotion. "If it hadn't been for Y/N's quick thinking, you would have died. Doctors were about to put morphine on you…"
"Shit," Bakugou let his head fall back, realizing how badly everything could have gone.
"You had internal bleeding, a lung filled with liquid, and several broken bones, you were even bleeding from your head," Kirishima started as Bakugou kept swearing out loud, "When they said they needed to put morphine, I tried to warn them, but they kept dismissing me. Damn, I'm no doctor, but I know stuff!" The red head protested, which made Bakugou smile a bit. "I tried to gain some time as Uraraka ran for Y/N. When she came, obviously they did pay attention to her. She's… really good at this."
They both looked at you as you slept. Your eyebrows were still frowning, but Bakugou could listen to your deep breathing even in that distance. That eased him a bit.
Then his eyes went to the tube again and the anger started to fill his body.
"Why is she connected to me?" He asked, trying to make his raspy voice sound firm.
Kirishima sighed. "There was no other way. They needed to operate, and they didn't have your blood type available at the moment," Bakugou scoffed, hating everything and all you had to do for him. Kirishima laid closer to his face, ready to scold him for his stubbornness, "Your heart was slowing down, you fucking idiot."
That did surprise Bakugou; Kirishima never cursed at anyone. And when the blond found his friend's eyes, they were filled with tears.
"I-I'm fine…" Bakugou reassured him, clearly not knowing what else to do or say at his best friend's deep emotion.
Fuck, he had nearly fucking died.
"Yeah, and that's thanks to her," Kirishima pointed at you, "So be nice," he warned before backing away and taking a deep breath.
Bakugou looked back at you. This couldn't be real. You had to know, right?
"Does she know?"
"Know what?" Kirishima asked as he stretched his big and long arms over his head.
Bakugou looked back at him, "What this fucking means, Eijirou."
Kirishima frowned, now a bit worried, "I don't know, she didn't mention anything. Is it something bad?"
The blond closed his eyes, his right hand closing in a fist, jaw tight. When he was about to answer, a sweet and delicate voice coming out of a sleep state made him open his eyes and look directly in your direction.
"It simply means we are sharing blood," you said, stirring a bit in your chair, opening your eyes and finding deep red ones almost killing you with their gaze.
"Simply?" Bakugou mocked, shaking his head.
"That's what you said," Kiri looked suspicious at you, arms crossing over his chest.
"And I'm not lying or doing anything illegal," you defended yourself as two Pro Heroes looked at you with their Pro Hero scolding eyes.
"We know, but you're hiding information, I can see it clearly now," Kirishima protested, his voice still as gentle as always.
Your fingers started fidgeting with each other,  obviously nervous. For some reason, Kiri's gentle tone was more effective than Bakugou's murdering glare.
Your husband suddenly realized something and snorted, "You didn't tell anyone?"
"There's nothing to tell."
"Yes, there fucking is!"
"No, there isn't!"
"Y/N! For fucks sake-..."
"Shut up, Bakugou!"
"I won't fucking shut up! You are telling them now-..."
"There's nothing to tell, Katsuki!"
"OKAY, ENOUGH!" Eijirou's scream startled both of you. "You both clear this up and tell me right now what you are talking about."
"Eijirou, we are sharing blood!" Bakugou looked like he was about to tear the hair out of his head.
The red head looked at his friends for a moment, back and forth, trying to connect what that meant. And then it clicked.
You two were sharing blood. You were receiving Bakugou's blood as much as he was receiving yours. Which meant…
Your body was currently receiving high doses of pure nitroglycerin through the blood.
"Oh, shit, Y/N!" Kirishima was instantly by your side, "You have to take that off, now!"
"No!" You said pushing him away as he tried to move the tube.
"Fucking yes, you are!" Bakugou protested, trying to sit a bit straighter.
"No, don't move, Bakugou! And stop touching me, Eijirou!" Everyone stopped when you stood up and they looked at your small but firm form standing with authority, "I have been doing this for the past three days you were unconscious, and I'll do it until the doctor says it is enough." You said, tone firm and final as you looked at Bakugou.
"Y/N, you don't fucking have a Quirk," he spat, yet you could see a tiny bit of light in his eyes that begged you to stop doing it.
"And I don't fucking need one to know when enough is enough."
"That's why you have been taking breaks," Kirishima suddenly realized.
"Yes," you admitted, eyes still locked in a fight with Bakugou's. "I take breaks of thirty minutes in between two and three hours," your tone, Kirishima could only describe it as trying to reassure Bakugou that you were fine. But his friend was stubborn.
"It's not enough, and you fucking know it, Y/N!" He protested again.
"I can do this, I'm not weak, Katsuki!"
Kirishima took several steps back as he saw his friend's eye twitch when you called him by his name. It was a clear intimate discussion between a husband and a wife now. He really tried to avoid smiling, but he couldn't, so he simply left the room, leaving this complicated couple to resolve this on their own.
"You. Do. Not. Have. A. Quirk." He repeated, his hand grabbing your wrist, gently, despite the heated discussion you were having.
"And I don't need one for this!" If he was stubborn, you doubled it.
"Y/N! You are not feeling it now, but you will later! And I can't-..."
"You can't what, Bakugou?!"
"LOOK AT ME! I can barely move, and I won't be able to take care of you when the nitroglycerin kicks in!"
"I don't need you to take care of me! I am taking care of you! Besides, a bit of vomiting didn't kill anyone…"
"FUCK, Y/N! You know shit! You don't know how badly this fucking Quirk hurt when I was a kid!" He admitted in a yell, his only eye open now clearly begging you, as the thumb of the hand that was holding your wrist caressed the back of your hand. He always did that, even though his voice and words were rough, his touch was always gentle, careful.
"Katsuki," your hand went to his cheek, holding it with all the gentleness you had. He couldn't avoid the sigh, the relief he felt when your touch finally made any contact with him. He didn't know how desperate he actually was for you to touch him. You saw it, as clear as day, how scared he actually was, so you gently laid your forehead against his without putting any kind of pressure, "I can do this. Please, please, let me help you…" Your throat suddenly felt tight as your eyes filled with tears, "You almost died…"
Your whisper made his insides curl, as his gaze went down to your connected arms, which was the same he was holding your wrist.
You could feel the hold he had on your wrist tighten a little bit by your words, and you sniffed, trying to hold back your emotions.
And that simple action crumbled evey wall Katsuki could have put in between you two.
He was taking deep intakes of breath, your breath that was so close to his face and it felt like it was already healing him.
"You'll take breaks each hour."
"No, that's barely enough time to help it travel your whole body, and you know it."
Bakugou huffed, "Fine, two hours."
You pulled away and rolled your eyes, a traitorous tear rolling down on your cheek, "That's what I've been doing."
"Fucking brat…" He muttered, trying to hide a smirk, and you smiled in satisfaction.
"A simple thank you would be enough," you winked at him, which made him roll his eye.
You saw the little flutter of the other eye that was barely open at its movement, so you immediately went doctor mode and prepared everything to clean his eye, again.
Bakugou simply looked at you and let you work. And as he watched you, he couldn't avoid thinking how good all of you felt close to him, how stupid he was for all this time had you at arms length just because he thought you weren't strong enough, when in reality he was afraid of you getting involved in his world. For having treated you all this time like feather easy to break, when here you were, being the strongest person in the room while taking care of him and his wounds and also sharing blood with him to keep him alive like it was nothing.
He had underestimated you, and now he felt like a jerk.
A jerk that was completely in love with you.
"Thank you," he whispered back.
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
won4ver · 30 days
Note
short almost drabble like fic where jake dated you because of a bet (you find out). bet fics are my guilty pleasure.
but i’m thinking it’s more of just your reaction? like it shows the emotions you go through after finding out
if you decide to write it, thank you🤭
✈︎ the perfect picture
pairing : bf!jake x fem!reader
warnings + genre : angst. crying.
wc : 1.1k
a/n : I LOVE BET FICS SM BCUZ THEY HURT SO GOOD OMFG + plsss lmk how i did!
Tumblr media
Jake’s love painted the perfect picture, the canvas splaying out in a precise manner. The midnight giggles and morning delicacies were nothing more than a distraction, a part Jake played a little too well.
You were blindsided by everything else around you, unable to escape your 2d world. The walls of your heart were crafted by the lies that Jake had sewn into your skin since early on, the needle beginning its stitch the second his eyes met yours.
The gallons of paint were now splattered across the sky, Jake's canvas cracking as the black seeped in through the sections where he forgot to blend.
The audio recording sounded out across your stale room, all air stuck in your lungs as you held your breath, heartbeat behind your eyes as the tears welled.
“LN YN? It’s like you're asking for me to lose before I even begin.” The voice so clearly belonged to your boyfriend, his recognizable shocked tone sounding extra sharp.
“So you’re giving up? It’s not my fault they’ve never noticed you before.” Park Sunghoon, the man who always supported that boyish smile, and your boyfriend's best friend.
“I think they’re a good choice, allows more room for fun” Park Jongseong, the captain of the rugby team, again, your boyfriend's best friend.
“What do I get if I win?”
“Easy. You get this” Even if you couldn’t physically see this scene, you knew very well what Park Sunghoon was shaking in his hands. The bills slapping together as he shook them.
“Deal, prepare to hand it over.” The sound of their hands meeting was your tipping point, vision blurring as the tears fell.
The constricted air in your lungs shot out with your first exhale, chest burning as the weight of your boyfriend's betrayal lay heavy.
The next minutes were a blur of tears and blinding lights, your packed bags landing beside your feet as you hurriedly pulled on your shoes. Your phone buzzing to life in your pocket, messages coming in back to back.
You tried ignoring it, the thought of seeing your boyfriend's contact on your screen creating an overwhelming nauseous feeling.
It wasn’t until you heard a specific ringtone that you decided to fish your phone from your pocket, the loud voice of Sunghoon ringing too loudly across Jake’s apartment.
After hanging out with Jake’s friends a few times you managed to get extremely close to them, Sunghoon in specific. It was easy to get along with him, easy to drown within his sweet aura.
After class one day you accidentally stumbled into him, his attempts to hide his swollen eye coming up unsuccessful. You remembered that day, the day you found out about his fights.
It was as if that evening opened a door to your relationship, Sunghoon attaching himself to your hip.
One day all the boys decided to prank you, changing your ringtones to ones personalized by them. Sunghoon’s voice through his own ringtone has never felt so daunting, you’ve never hated him more.
Your eyes lazily read across his newest message, ignoring the other twenty-seven he’d sent within the last two minutes.
hoon
I’m so sorry, I promise we called off the bet after meeting you please don’t do anything you’ll regret. Jake’s on his way back, please hear him out
Without another thought you pressed his notification, the delivered alert changing to seen straight away. It seemed that Sunghoon was already typing again, bubbles popping up right away.
You ignored him once again, leaving his chat to open Jake’s. There was only one message from him, one sent by him hours ago, right after he left to Jay’s house.
“Never talk to me again” you whispered as your fingers pressed each letter, shakily pressing each letter before pressing send. As soon as the message went through you tossed your phone onto the table beside Jake’s door.
Of course, in hindsight, it was foolish to get rid of your phone, but there’s no way you could continue using it knowing all the memories stored in it.
What you didn’t know, was that when you threw it you somehow opened your emails, the email that contained the audio recording.
And so you left, leaving nothing but your phone. You ignored the looks in the lobby, your favourite neighbours giving you worried looks as they saw your state.
You got into the car, carelessly throwing your bags into the backseat. You reversed out of the spot, leaving Jake without another thought.
Jake could feel the dread in his chest as he entered the lobby, the same neighbours that saw you leave in a haste not yet seeing him and they whispered amongst themselves.
“Is yn alright? She just left in a hurry, she was crying pretty bad” Jake didn’t register their words until he reached his apartment, his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.
He had figured he’d get up faster if he ran up the stairs, the elevator always took ages to get down to the lobby.
He slammed open his door, tears falling once again as he noticed that all your belongings were gone. The only sound in his apartment was his own breathing, well that’s what he thought until he saw your discarded phone.
He walked towards it, jelly knees barely holding him up as he bent down to grab your phone. He felt acid rise up his throat, eyes widening as he heard the audio coming from your phone.
He knew you had found out the moment Sunghoon looked up at Jake with glassy eyes, shaking his head as he tried to get the words out. He didn’t waste a second before running out, ignoring his friends calling for him as the apartment door slammed behind him.
He was too late, he missed you by mere seconds. He didn’t have the chance to talk to you, to explain himself. This wasn’t how he wanted you to find out, he was planning countless ways that he would tell you.
That bet was Jake Sim’s biggest regret, but it wasn’t a mistake. Even if he was given the chance to go back and stop himself from accepting the bet, he would never do it. The time he spent with you was his favourite, you became his favourite person.
He didn’t know where he would go from here, but all he knew was that he needed to get to your apartment as soon as possible. And so he ran back down all flights of stairs, racing to his car as he sped towards you.
He didn’t know if you’d ever forgive him, but he needed to try. He loved you more than anything, even if it wasn’t genuine at first.
Jake Sim loved you, but after today you didn’t know if you believed that. If he loved you he wouldn’t have done this to you.
202 notes · View notes
bloodynereid · 5 months
Note
Hi can I please request a Jordan x reader . Reader has power that glitch & saves Jordan. Reader hey I am lucky that I didn’t get stuck in between a wall.
Thank you.
Flying Grand Pianos - headcanons
pairing: jordan li x gn! reader
tw: cursing, mentions of uncontrolled powers, cate and sam went to prison (i'm sorry okay! they're my pookies but for this fic to work i had to do something), uh nothing much ig? unless u have a phobia of falling pianos... then maybe don't read this??
description: your powers come in handy in the weirdest situations.
a/n: hiii hopefully u enjoy this! i literally did not mean to make this as insane as it ended up being but hey i'm sick and running on like too little sleep, i hope it's still entertaining tho cause i had sm fun writing this lol. i tried to integrate everything you said into headcanons cause it felt more apt ? ig... anyways requests are open & lmk ur thoughts <3
Tumblr media
It was your final year at God U, somehow you had actually made it through the insanity that happened during junior year. You had even come out of the whole situation with a whole new group of friends… even if Cate and Sam sort of had to be locked away because of all the shit they did.
Thank whoever had decided to call the FBI because you had no idea how the entire situation might have turned out if Homelander showed up instead.
So life had turned back to normal towards the end of junior year, mostly because Vought was able to keep most of the situation quiet. Now you were only a step away from becoming an actual superhero… which was a strange situation to think about.
Your powers weren’t all that noteworthy but were insanely useful in battle and to get out of awkward conversations… especially since you were able to mostly control them.
You had the ability to glitch, which essentially meant you could manipulate the fabric of reality around you and mess with it (always with a limit of course, you weren’t an all-powerful magician). You mostly used it for teleportation or to mess with people, something that was always sooo worth it.
You also were kind of insanely good at dealing with actual glitches in computers, which made absolutely no sense but it did help adding to your skill set for your major.
There was probably one specific time where your powers worked in your favor in the best way possible. Over the past few years you sort of developed a tiny little miniscule (HUGE) crush on Jordan Li and now that you were actually able to call them your friend that tiny little crush grew into something way bigger.
What you weren’t aware of was that Jordan felt the same way, they always viewed you as this pretty incredible supe but never really had the chance to talk to you… until the whole The Woods situation. After that it almost made it harder for them to just ask you out on your date… because you had created such a tentative but strong friendship - something that Jordan hadn’t had since Luke. Something that they weren’t sure they would be able to walk away from again.
It was a few months into your senior year when the incident happened. It wasn’t something crazy like Homelander suddenly massacring the school instead it was an incident that belonged in the halls of a supe school… one of the new freshmen had somehow conjured up a piano in the middle of the damn sky and was unable to make it disappear.
The one problem with this piano was that it was falling... and falling really fucking fast.
You had been drinking one of your favorite drinks from Jitter Bean when you were surprised (and very concerned) to see a piano making its way towards Jordan - a very distracted Jordan who was talking, or rather yelling into their phone.
It barely took you a second to make the decision before you dropped your drink and glitched in Jordan’s direction - thank whatever all powerful force was out there for actually having it work because a moment later you reappeared next to Jordan and grabbed their arm before glitching again.
Suddenly you were standing in your room and Jordan was looking at you like an insane person before a loud crash and a whole bunch of yelling was heard outside the window.
Jordan shot a confused look before darting over to the window, only to find that a huge grand piano now stood (well not really it was sort of everywhere) where they had just been standing a moment ago.
You shot them a sheepish smile as they turned around to look at you with a dropped jaw.
“I actually can’t believe that worked, I’m lucky I didn’t accidentally get us stuck between a wall.”
Tumblr media
lol i have no idea what this is but i like it anyways.
231 notes · View notes
agent-cupcake · 3 months
Text
Flashbang
Chapter 1 - Puppet Loosely Strung
Tumblr media
Spotify Playlist / All Chapters / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 /Chapter 7/ Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 pt.1 / Chapter 9 pt.2 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12
Pairing: One Piece Live Action Buggy x f! Reader
Synopsis: Running away to join the circus doesn’t go exactly as you hoped it would.
Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, murder, generally dark content
Word Count: 13.9k
Disclaimer: I don’t read the manga or watch the anime. This is based solely on OPLA Buggy because Jeff Ward.
Tumblr media
Some quick notes before we start: This is what I've been working on this since October. Originally it was going to be one really big one-shot posted at the same time, but it's big enough that I can justify posting it as a series. I'll add warnings as I go, but this is not a happy story and there will be explicit content later on. The reader character might not be somebody you see yourself in, I had a very specific image of what character I had in mind while writing. To me, reader fic is more of a sort of play acting rather than "oh that's literally me" but I know that's not everybody's cup of tea. A lot of this is cope fic and it shows. When times get rough the porn gets rougher, right?
I had help writing this from an individual who is very dear to me. Flashbang wouldn't exist without her, especially since she was the one who gave me the clown brain rot. And then there has been the hours of brainstorming and spitballing and watching Jeff Ward shows/movies as she continued to feed my addiction. Thank you, my love, and also damn you because this wasn't what I needed.
New chapter every Sunday. Enjoy~
.
“Let me put myself in your shoes
As a puppet loosely strung
Around you, they were so confused
That a faulty man could have so much fun”
.
All it took was a little doubt. Through logic or confusion or wishful thinking, you could be convinced that the insignificant person who had parasitically driven you around for the past however many years was a stranger, and now they were gone. Everything that had ever happened fell into incomprehensible dust, and every thought you ever had belonged to somebody else. A cycle of a million memories you didn’t recognize spun through this foggy place, none of them real, none of them familiar. 
Logic, confusion, wishful thinking, or unconsciousness. An endless dream of nothing at all. But as soon as you became aware, it was awareness that those thoughts happened in the past tense, crushed inward by the unrelenting force of existence, and you were shoved back into a body. You—not the real you, the stranger you, the one made of heat and fury and pain, the one you couldn’t recognize—were gasping and thrashing in ignorant confusion, coughing out the sickening taste of blood in your throat. 
Everything, all of it, hurt. And that was all that existed. 
Until it wasn’t. 
Your panicked thrashing made you realize that you were upright, your body straining painfully against the various chains keeping you pinned against the wall in an X. The position put nearly all of your weight on your shoulders and left your head to sag heavily to the side, making the terrible, dizzying headache that much worse. Having suffered more than your fair share of them, you knew that this headache was from more than an uncomfortable position or your old injury. A hot throbbing pain radiated out from the back of your head, shooting little sparks down your spine. It hurt bad enough that nausea formed a tight, heavy ball in your stomach. Gritting your teeth, you forced your eye open, fighting the urge to cringe away from the light as it rolled this way and that. Colors and lights were nothing more than a nauseating smear, but at least you could see. 
Little by little, you became aware of yourself. From far away, you had a vague recollection of leaving, of nerves, excitement, and then of danger. But… no, why weren’t you at home? Doom settled in its rightful place as you realized exactly how little you remembered or knew, slotting into the spot of coherence and reason. Despite the pain, you fought against the shackles holding you in the uncomfortable position, irrationally desperate to be free of them. 
“There she is! Finally,” somebody said from your left. His voice hit like a hammer to the back of your aching head. You strained to look at the speaker, he sounded close, but you couldn’t turn your head far enough to make up for your limited vision. 
Luckily, he didn’t stay out of sight for long. The man’s boots were loud and deliberate as he slowly moved out of your literal blind spot. To your ill-adjusting eye, he was not much more than a blur of white and red and blue, his big smile smudged as you rapidly blinked to focus. A little shock of meaningless recognition in your brain saw the makeup and red nose and said ‘clown’, but the sheer ridiculousness of that made you even more sure that this wasn’t real. 
“Not a fun way to wake up, is it?” he asked. “Keep breathing, let it drain back and cough it out. Trust me, it’s over quicker that way.”
The question you tried to form was, “Who are you?” but all you could manage was a heavy groan followed by a fit of painful coughs, wheezing raggedly in between. Each desperate convulsion rattled the chains and caused the wood to creak, but did nothing to free your bound limbs. The man seemed bored by it, annoyed he had to wait for you to get ahold of yourself. 
Since he hadn’t immediately helped you down, you could only assume that he was the one who shackled you in the first place. Strung you up against a wooden board of some kind in a room you didn’t know. Cramped and windowless, it reeked of paint and sweat and sawdust and sweet salty rot—a unique smell that didn’t help your nausea. Clutter stacked up against the walls. Dense, humid air pressed against you like a heavy coat, paradoxically chilling. Probably because of the fever burning beneath your skin, slicking you up with sweat, soaking into your clothes and the bandana you kept wrapped around your head over the left eye.
Breathe. You focused on your breathing. Panic wouldn’t help you. 
“You done?” he asked. Without any other choices, you turned your head to shamefully wipe your face off on your sleeve before nodding. “Great. Well, now that you’re awake… Welcome!” He threw out his arms with the flamboyant manner of a showman with the greeting, but they wilted right after, his big smile dropping a bit. “Or, at least, that’s what I would say if you hadn’t let yourself in and stolen the opportunity from me.” 
That was bad. Very, very bad. You jerked in an awkward, uncoordinated burst, physically reacting to the danger he presented. 
“No, no, don’t leave on my account,” he said, waving his hands and getting closer as if to stop you. “Oh wait, you can’t! Hah! Yeah, ‘cause of the chains.” He smiled affably, like it was a harmless joke, standing close enough for his gloved fingers to skim along the chain wrapped around your neck. “I guess you’re not going anywhere, huh?” 
You didn’t respond, barely daring to breathe when he was so close. Smiles and melodrama aside, his blue eyes were oddly dead, fixed on you without the slightest bit of humor. And then it finally came back to you, the vital thing that you should have known, that you would have known if you weren’t strung up and suffering such a crippling headache. The makeup, the nose, the hat—
“You’re,” you began to say, but your voice was hoarse and weak, you could barely get it out when he was looking at you so closely, so intently. You cleared your throat, wincing at the metallic taste. “You’re the-that pirate captain Buggy, like on the-the poster?” Right! The clown guy, the red-nosed pirate. You were looking for him. So this was… good, wasn’t it? 
He gave you a flat look, clearly not sharing your weak enthusiasm. “Yes. I am that pirate captain. Buggy, the Genius Jester? The most feared pirate captain in all the East Blue?” He turned with a dramatic flick of his coat, messing with something that had to flash silver before you realized it was a knife. “The man destined to find the One Piece and become King of the Pirates. Yes. I am that pirate captain. And,” he paused, checking to make sure you were paying attention, “a very busy, very important man. I’ve got, oh, ten minutes or so for you to decide how this is gonna go. So let’s get straight to it.” He turned back, pointing the knife at you. “Who are you, and what are you after?”
The accusatory tone of his voice took you aback. “Nothing… I’m not anybody,” you stammered out. “And this… this isn’t what it looks like, I swear.”
Buggy, to your surprise, relented after a second of considering your appeal, nodding understandingly. 
There was no transition from his look of sympathy to raising the knife and aiming it at you. By the time you realized he meant to throw it, you barely had a chance to yelp. The blade took a loud, thumping bite into the wood beside you. On your left side, of course. Where you couldn’t see it. You could feel it, though. The air displacement ruffled the fine hairs around your ear. If you had flinched in that direction, it probably would be in your skull. With your dizzy head aching and confused, you had no regulation to your fear or discomfort, your breathing dangerously unsteady and tears pricking the corner of your eyes. 
“Let me try a different question,” Buggy said before you could collect yourself, pulling out another knife. “Who else knows about this place?”  
“Nobody! I swear, nobody else. I was just…” You didn’t know what to say. It was all you could do to breathe the thick, heavy air and fight down the tide of nausea.  
“Just what?” Buggy asked, leaning in with raised eyebrows to show that he was listening intently. You opened and closed your mouth, unable to come up with the right words. Thoughts churned through the thick sludge in your head, getting stuck or lost or confused. 
“I’m so sorry,” you said, the stumbling apology coming out more naturally than anything else, an attempt to buy time while you organized your thoughts. “Please doh-don’t…. I’m so ss-sorry.” 
Buggy sighed, standing up straight and raising his hand to aim. 
“Nonono, please d-” You yelped louder this time, flinching away as the knife streaked through the air and stuck not even an inch away from your right cheek. You exhaled a pathetic little sob, whatever you were bound to shaking with your body. 
“Listen, honey buns,” Buggy said. “Drop the act. Stop the whining. I caught you, red handed, sneaking into my lair.” He pulled something out of his pocket. Not another knife, but a piece of paper which he unfolded, holding it up for you to see. His wanted poster, creased into sixths from the way you folded it to keep it close, to keep it hidden. “I found this in your bag. You know who I am, and you know where you are. You have to, so let’s do away with all the theatrics, okay?” 
You swallowed hard, nodding quickly in the hope that it would appease him. 
“Right now, this is a conversation,” Buggy said, gesturing between the two of you. “A light interrogation, really. But if you keep being uncooperative and wasting my time, it’s gonna go from being interrogate-y to being torture-y real quick. You don’t want that, right?” Although he was unmistakably threatening you, Buggy’s tone was more natural than before. There was a bluntness to it, an honesty. Men like him didn’t idly use words like torture. 
You sniffed, trying very hard to calm yourself down. This was a misunderstanding, so you just had to convince him. Simple as that. He would understand. You would make him understand.
“Right,” you agreed. 
“Fantastic. So,” he loudly clapped his hands together, “who else knows about this place?”
“Nobody, I promise… I’m really sorry I broke in,” you told him, speaking slowly so your words didn’t catch. “I just wanted to meet with you.” 
Buggy’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, the hair hanging out from the sides of his hat swaying as his head tilted curiously. “You’re a fan?” he clarified. “That explains why you’re so pathetic. Well I hate to break it to you, but there’s a reason I only hold meet and greets after shows.” 
“No, that’s not why! I-I want to join your crew,” you said. “I came to ask you to let me join your crew.” 
He blinked twice, staring at you with obvious disbelief. “Excuse me, what?” 
“I want to be a pirate,” you told him, louder. “Please. Please let me join your crew.”
Buggy’s expression didn’t change, but you could see the rippling shift of incredulity, befuddlement, skepticism, and then amusement in his eyes. That emotion burst outward into a loud laugh, making you flinch. “That’s the best you can do?” he asked. “Ask to join my crew?” He looked at you again, laughing even harder. “I don’t know what’s funnier—that anybody would send you to spy on me, or that you’d think I would consider hiring you.” 
“I mean it!” you argued, humiliation and desperation seeping into the thousand other discomforts of your position. This wasn’t at all how you wanted this to go.
“Sweetheart,” Buggy said condescendingly, “even assuming I believe you, this is a pirate crew, not an afterschool club.”
“I know. I know what pirates do, I know what you do,” you told him. “I’ll do anything, whatever you want. Please, please, just give me a chance.”
He nodded, turning to pace as he thought about it. 
“Okay, let’s say that I buy this… this act of yours,” Buggy said. “Do you have any experience? Maintaining ships, reading maps, loading cannons. You know, basic stuff.”
There was a line you had prepared to answer this question, one that would paint you in the most charitable light. You remembered that, but you couldn’t remember the line. All you could give was the truth. “A little.”
He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Thought so. What about specialties? Unique skills? Any sort of talent that I can use in my show—anything at all. I mean other than,” he gestured vaguely in your direction, “that. We don’t need another one eyed midget. They’re surprisingly common.” 
“I’m not a midget,” you told him, nerves fading to incredulity. 
Buggy stepped back to size you up before seemingly conceding the point with a shrug. “And the eye?” He covered his left eye to illustrate. “Is that for a bit or something?” 
Your stomach twisted with a familiar lurch. Disgust. Shame. Phantom light in the dark. “It’s not.” 
“How’d you lose it?” 
“I didn’t… lose it.” 
“It’s still in there?” he asked excitedly, stepping forward and reaching to remove the bandana. “I have got to see this.” 
“No, please—please don’t,” you begged, trying to wriggle away from his hand. Pinned to the board with your hands bound above your head, there was nowhere to go. “Please don’t, please-” 
“Come on,” Buggy said, indifferent to your pleas as he pulled the sweat soaked fabric off of your left eye. “How bad could it be—AH!” He yelled in horror, jumping away as if you’d bitten him. 
The bandana hit the floor, leaving your ruined eye and its jagged scar exposed. You couldn’t hide. All you could do was flinch back, turning your head away. “I’m sorry,” you said, ready to continue apologizing before you realized that his shock had immediately dissolved into raucous laughter. “Why are you… why are you laughing?” you asked, pulling desperately against the chains. 
“I got you good,” Buggy said, his laughter subsiding. “The way you reacted, I thought that you’d be completely deformed. A real sideshow. But this…” He grabbed your chin, forcing it to the side so he could get a better look. “I couldn’t charge for this.”
“Please stop,” you begged, shaking off his grip and staring hard at his shoulder. 
“Ohhh. You’re really embarrassed about it.”
You didn’t say anything, focusing mostly on fighting the tears. 
“Okay, alright, yeah,” Buggy said, stepping back. “I think I’m starting to get why you would risk life and limb to beg me for a job. You grew up as a cute girl in a shithole town like this. A big fish in a little pond, as they say. Then, suddenly, BAM, you’re deformed, and, sure, they all say that it was tragic, but the truth is that they can’t stand to look at you. Even the people who loved you, the people you trusted, think you’re a freak. They abandoned you. So, without any other options, you come to me, pleading for me to give you a place amidst your fellow freaks. That about it?”
You didn’t say anything—what could you say to that?— which Buggy seemed to take as confirmation, nodding thoughtfully. 
“Well, go big or go home, right? As far as a starlet’s breakout role, you couldn’t go any bigger. Thing is, I’m not really looking for new acts. Not to mention your abysmal audition.” He sucked in a breath through his teeth, looking you up and down again. 
You could feel your chance slipping away. Just like that. Go big or go home, that’s what he said. 
“Please, Captain Buggy,” you begged, staring him in the eye despite how disquieting it was, despite how your skin crawled from exposing your left eye to somebody. Addressing him properly, at the very least, got his attention. “I promise that you won’t regret it. I’ll learn, I want to learn how to be a pirate, how to perform, all of it, everything. And if I can’t, I’ll do laundry and clean and cook, I have lots of experience with that. I don’t care what you ask me to do, if you let me join your crew, I’ll happily serve you for the rest of my life.”
Buggy didn’t respond right away. You thought—hoped—that it meant he understood how serious you were, but his expression gave you nothing. There wasn’t much light in the room in the first place, but somehow he found enough to shine unnervingly in his pale blue eyes. Somebody with a bright red clown nose shouldn’t have been able to look so intimidating, but the way he studied you burned with an uncomfortable intensity. It had been a while since anybody looked at you so frankly, so openly, without disgust or pity. 
“Why?” he finally asked. 
“Why…?” you repeated, confused.
“I get that you want to leave this place, and I even buy into your whole wanting to be a pirate thing, but, you know, aside from the obvious,” he gestured to himself, “why should I believe that you really want to serve me? You’re young and cute…ish, don’t you want freedom and empowerment and all those other things girls go on and on about?” 
Your eyebrows furrowed. “Why would I?” 
A moment of quiet that wasn’t quite silence but twice as heavy passed before a slow smile began to spread over Buggy’s face, and then—of all the bizarre, uncomfortable responses he could have—he laughed. “Oh, you’re broken, aren’t you?” he asked, clearly overjoyed by the revelation. “Well, I’m sold. I’ll have to start you on probation just in case you’re secretly up to no good. But, after that, you can audition for real. I’m sure I can find something you’ll be useful for.” 
His reaction gave you whiplash. The word ‘broken’ was obviously bad, but everything else was good. You had succeeded. Only, you didn’t know why. You were still trying to decide if being called cute-ish was a compliment or not. 
“Hey, just one more thing, okay?” Buggy asked, tapping your cheek. Standing mere inches away, he smiled a rictus grin. It wrinkled his eyes, but they were without life or pity or mercy. “If you’re lying to me about anything, I’ll carve some symmetry into your cute little face. You’ll thank me for it too. You won’t want to see what the guys will do to you after I toss you out there.”
“I’m not lying,” you said softly, shrinking back. “I promise.” 
“Great!” Buggy said, his demeanor immediately cheering up. “Let’s get you down.” He walked behind the board you were strung up on, and you let out a shaky exhale. “Brace yourself,” he called. You had no idea what that meant, or how you were supposed to brace yourself when there was nothing for you to brace yourself on. “Three… two…” 
He undid the lock, and the chains keeping you bound to the board went slack. You dropped hard, your limbs as heavy as lead. Luckily, your head was too light to feel anything when you hit the ground with a dull thump and the loud cacophony of rattling chains, spinning and blank and utterly empty. There was a suspended moment of floating, lighter than air itself. And then you were blinking rapidly and nauseous, pain shooting up your arms and knees. 
Buggy dropped a key in front of you, metal bouncing on the old concrete. 
“Unfortunately we didn’t bring any real props with us, so I had to improvise,” he said. With numb fingers, you grabbed the key and worked it into the locked cuff around your wrist. “You lucked out, if this were the real Wheel of Death, you’d be blowing chunks!” He paused, looking down at you. “Can you hurry this up?”
“Sorry,” you said. Your shaking hands kept missing the keyholes, but you finally got the last lock on your ankle open. The cuffs hadn’t broken skin, but your wrists and ankles were rubbed raw, ugly bruises already developing. You’d had worse.
“Alright, upsy daisy,” Buggy said, crouching down to take the key away and grab the only chain you hadn’t gotten out of—the one around your neck. 
It acted as a noose, giving you no other choice but to lurch upward with an unappealing choking sound, your head spinning all over again, the weightless itch tingling all the way down to the base of your spine. You stumbled forward, unintentionally falling against him. 
“Holy shit,” Buggy exclaimed, helping you stand up straight with a hand on your shoulder. “I didn’t know girls came in fun size. Legally, at least. Are you sure you’re not just like… the maxiest midget?” 
“‘m dizzy,” you muttered, swaying despite his support. 
“That’s not really… Ah, whatever. Hey, at least if you fall, you don’t have that far to go.”
“I’m… I’m okay,” you finally said, which was mostly true. Breathing slow, steady breaths helped, and then you shook your head a little. The bump on the back of it throbbed painfully, and you’d have bruises on your knees the size of apples, but you would survive. You were still trying to get control over your body. It was heavy and unwieldy, although part of that must have been the exhaustion. 
“If you need to vomit, make sure to aim away from me,” he said. That was about all the warning you got before he decided it was time to go, dragging you along behind him like a dog on a leash. 
You realized you were leaving your bandana behind, your left eye uncovered, and reared back, trying to stop him. “Wait, I have to grab my-” 
“No time,” he said, talking over you and tugging again at the chain. 
There was nothing you could do but stumble over your own feet to keep up with him as he led you through the cluttered and dark storage area. You felt a tiny bit of relief that you were still in the familiar decaying buildings northside. The old warehouses were dark, dank, and dingy. Easily defended and difficult to navigate, perfect for criminals to hide out in. You knew them very well, and that helped orient you.  
"As I’m sure you noticed, I’m running a bit of a skeleton crew here. The rest aren’t coming ‘til the grand finale,” Buggy said, leading you into the main warehouse space by the chain around your neck like it was completely normal. The awful smell of rot and decay was only compounded by a sickly sweet, chalky scent you didn’t recognize. Gray sunshine flooded in through the broken windows around the high ceilings, piercingly bright. “And after that, we’re gonna blow this town.”
You didn’t respond, growing even more skittish. The two of you drew the attention of the people scattered around. Some were lounging, others were training. All of them turned to look at you, watching with the dark, focused stare of hungry dogs. Colorfully dressed, very dangerous dogs. 
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have an introduction to make!” Buggy called in a loud enough voice to fill the large space. “Crew, new girl. New girl, crew. Make sure to give her a nice, warm welcome." None of them spoke or reacted, watching you with varying degrees of hostility. Buggy pulled you forward a few steps so he could whisper to you. “See that guy?” he asked, pointing to a bald man with square features and an especially dark glare. “That’s Ivo. He was the one who caught you. To be completely honest, I think he’s still a little angry that he didn't get to keep you. If I were you, I’d try to stay on his good side.”
“How?” you asked, your uneasy stomach sinking further, but Buggy was already preoccupied with something else. 
“Oh, hey-” he called, flagging down a woman who was leaning against one of the steel supports. You stumbled behind him, holding the chain around your neck to ease the pressure. “Crina, I have got a very important job for you.” 
The woman slowly looked from Buggy to you, giving you a weighty once-over with dark, kohl-lined eyes. Her clothes were different from the rest, draped with beads and loose and layered in shades of purple. Beneath the mystique, however, you felt the same hardness you recognized in all the pirate’s faces. “You want me to look after the little rat,” she said with an accent you didn’t recognize.
"God, it’s like you can read minds or something,” Buggy said, laughing. “Anyway, yes. Make sure she doesn’t get up to anything naughty while I’m gone. In fact, don’t let her out of your sight.” 
“With all due respect,” Crina said, “why not just kill her?” 
“Because I don’t want her dead,” Buggy snapped, suddenly irritated. If Crina was surprised or off put by the abrupt change of his mood, she didn’t show it. 
“Of course, captain.”  
“I thought I saw some cages over there,” Buggy said, gesturing vaguely and forcing the chain into Crina’s hand. “Stick her in one of those. In the back, away from any prying eyes.”  
“A cage?” you asked.
“As fun as it is to see you all chained up,” Buggy said. “I worry that it might send the wrong message. Out of sight, out of mind—I don’t need you distracting my crew. They’re planning a very big surprise party. If you behave, I might be able to find some time for you later. Sound good?” 
You nodded, almost surprised by how good that sounded. He ruffled your hair before turning away, barking orders to some of the men. 
“Let’s go,” Crina said, pulling your attention back to her. “We have our orders.”
Tumblr media
The cage Crina put you in, one out of several bolted to the floor in the corner out of the way from the main space, had just enough room for you to sit slouched, or lay curled on your side, meant for big dogs or small humans. There was a market for both, and you knew that this warehouse had likely housed both. 
The old, dilapidated buildings had been out of use for a long time, as long as you could remember. Barley Village had been originally built to be close to the mineral deposits, but as those dried up and industry trended towards the water, southward expansion left all of the old buildings empty and rotting. There was always talk about tearing them down, but it was only ever talk. One time you were told that some people wanted to keep the buildings available to people who wished for some privacy. But when you asked your dad if that was true, he got angry, telling you that was a lie, that he would never let that happen. He said it would just be too expensive to take them down, and that there was really no point in it.
But he also told you to never, ever spend time northside. Of all of the rules he gave you, that was the only one you ever truly disobeyed. You had no idea how many times you had gotten in trouble for playing here, climbing up rusted stairs and crossing the support beams up by the ceiling, using rocks to knock out the jagged edges of broken glass from the windows so you could go onto the rooftops. Your health problems made it difficult, and sometimes impossible, but you were patient. Plus, that had been before the accident, when your coordination was still good.
Back then, you didn’t worry about the many dangers that lurked here, and you certainly didn’t believe you could be hurt. You were too entranced by the world you created for yourself. The only thing you worried about was the beatings you earned when you got caught. Dad used to tell you that if you kept disobeying him by going northside, you’d wind up locked in one of these cages—or worse. It took you a while to think of the word, because it wasn’t funny, but it also was. Ironic. It was ironic.
You couldn’t even imagine what kind of reaction he would have to what you had done now, what punishment you would earn. It would be bad. You knew it would be very bad. 
Better not to think about it. Falling unconscious after being hit on the head was the most you had slept for the previous two days. It was the level of exhaustion that you could be staring down the business end of a sword with indifferent, sleepy eyes. Being locked up was bad, very bad, but you were content to lay listlessly on your side.
At some point, you must have fallen asleep because you weren’t entirely conscious when somebody kicked the front of your cage. “Hey, wake up.” Your physical response was to startle, jolting you awake enough to flinch away from the violence. But it was only Crina who crouched in front of the cage. “I have food for you. And medicine for the headache. I’m going let you out, and I suggest you don’t try to run. If the guys get a hold of you, I won’t stop them.”
“I won’t run,” you told her, your voice hoarse, your eyes fixed on what she had brought. A bowl of something that looked like stew and a bottle. More than food, you wanted water. Crina undid the lock and you shuffled out of the cage. Your head spun just as badly as it had when you dropped onto the floor earlier, your vision crawling with darkness and stomach heaving unhappily. She was right about the headache. It wasn’t a pain you ever got used to, no matter how many days you spent laid out from one. After an uneasy moment, you sat on the floor, grabbing the water and eagerly uncapping it. 
“Hand,” Crina said, holding out a glass bottle. You allowed her to shake two capsules into your palm, tossing them into your mouth before taking in a blessedly wet mouthful of water. It soothed your tongue and throat like a salve, although you knew your stomach wouldn’t be quite so happy to receive anything. The stew’s scent alone made your stomach clench and churn with equal parts hunger and nausea. Slow. You had to take it slow. 
“Thank you,” you told her, picking up the bowl. She’d brought a wrapped sailor’s biscuit to eat it with. Not very appetizing, but you hadn’t eaten much more than you slept. It could have been saw dust and you would have been grateful. 
“I have your bag,” she said to fill the silence as you ate, pushing the limp canvas towards you. “They took anything that looked valuable, but your clothes are all there. They need to be washed. I’ll lend you something to wear in the meantime.”
Since your mouth was full, you nodded your thanks.
“While you eat, I’m going to talk. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” Crina said. “You don’t strike me as the talkative type.”
She didn’t say that in an accusatory tone, but it still caused your heart to skip with anxiety. The fear had to be irrational, it wasn’t as if you had lied to Captain Buggy, so what did you have to worry about? Besides, only the guilty feared scrutiny, that was a favored line of your dad’s. 
“There’s a man in town asking if anyone has seen a girl. Petite. Missing an eye. Mentally unwell. He’s concerned that she might have gotten lost somewhere,” Crina told you. “From what I gather, her father is a pillar of the community. They’re all very worried.” 
You averted your gaze, anxiously pulling your hair to cover your left eye. Of course Randall would be looking for you, although you had hoped you would have more time before he noticed your absence. It didn’t matter that you left in such a way to raise as little suspicion as possible, or that you were an adult, or that you didn’t want to be found. Your dad asked him to be your keeper while he was gone, and Randall did as your father said. Everybody did. 
“Finish your food,” Crina prompted. “It’s worse when it’s cold.” 
Right. You started eating again, your movements mechanical. She said nothing, and you had nothing to say. 
“Everybody has their reasons for turning to piracy, and they’re not always pleasant,” Crina suddenly said. “Unless it interferes with my own business, I don’t care about who you were and why you ran away. It was a stupid choice, I think you know that. I won’t try and convince you to leave. Buggy seems to like you, so you wouldn’t be able to go anyway. But you need to understand that there will be consequences. The life you had before, no matter how terrible, did not prepare you for the life you’ve thrown yourself into.”
You stared hard at the bowl, thinking about that. It was true, you had to accept that you had blindly stumbled into a world you knew nothing about. But what choice did you have? The things that led you to this point were arranged like the rusty, creaky rungs of a ladder scaling the side of a building. Climbing up had always been the easy part, it was the inevitable descent that gave you trouble. You had to go slow, one rung at a time, blindly feeling with your toes, holding on with sweaty fingers, not looking up and not looking down because once you were on the ladder, you could only keep going. The first rung was spotting the Buggy Pirates, which you only did because you were sulking around the docks after seeing your father off on his trip. You only recognized the crew because your dad kept track of pirate captains with significant bounties. You only had the courage to sneak away from your house because dad was too far away to stop you. You only had the ability to scope out Buggy’s temporary hideout because of how much time you spent northside when you were younger. Those things all connected and followed so naturally and you didn’t know if fate existed, but you knew for a fact that you wouldn’t have wound up here on your own volition. It wasn’t a choice you made, it was the only way to get down from the roof that you had been stranded on for so long.
“I’ll give you some advice,” Crina continued, her tone lighter, “and I suggest you listen. You’re young and pretty, and you wouldn’t be the first to try and use that to get an advantage. It might work for a while, but men will get bored and your looks will fade. Before long you’ll be spat out into a cheap whorehouse with a couple of children you can’t afford and a hell of a rash.” 
The whiplash from your thoughts to the conclusion she had drawn made your stomach twist with disgust. “No,” you said. Was that what she thought of you? Even if the idea was utterly ridiculous, shame rolled uncomfortable through you. “I would never—I could never ever do that.” 
“Don’t be naive,” Crina said, rolling her eyes. “The boys you’re used to are disgusted by that scar, but the kind of men you’ll meet from now on won’t be. If your low self-esteem dictates who you let between your legs, you’ll find yourself in the gutter. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t sleep with men to get an advantage if that’s an option, only that you must be smart about it.” 
You pulled your hair forward again, shaking your head clear of what she was saying. She didn’t understand. It wasn’t the assumption that men would be repulsed by your scar—which they would be, you knew that—but that you didn’t have it in you to invite or manipulate male attention. In so many ways you were already ruined, but to stoop down to letting other men touch you would be too far, it would destroy you.
“Assuming you live past tomorrow night,” Crina continued, “get a knife and figure out how to use it. The men aren’t going to accept you as a member of the crew until you prove yourself. So if anybody gets too close, you prove yourself with blood.” 
“Do you think they’ll try to hurt me?” 
“I think you look like an easy target,” she said. “And I know you have no concept of self preservation or defense.”
“Yes, I do,” you said, frowning. You had made it this far, after all. That was more than anybody would have thought of you. 
“You don’t,” she said plainly. “The tablets I gave you are for treating pain, but imagine if they weren’t. You didn’t so much as ask me to clarify what they were.” 
You opened your mouth to argue, and closed it, shame squeezing your throat. You hadn’t even thought about that.
“It might not matter anyway,” she said, “depending on Buggy’s reasons for keeping you.”
“What do you mean?” 
Crina gave you a long, pitying look and you could tell there was something she wanted to say, something she was holding back. Eventually she shrugged. “That is between the two of you.”
You wanted to push for more, confused by the cryptic answer, but you didn’t. You could tell by the hard look on her face that she wouldn’t tell you anyway. 
“One more thing. The most important thing,” Crina told you, leaning close so she could whisper. “Never, ever mention the captain’s nose. In fact, never mention noses at all.” 
“His nose?” you repeated softly. “Is it… is it real?” 
“What did I just say?” she asked sharply. “He killed a few of the last new recruits for saying something that sounded like nose while he was in a bad mood.”
“He… killed them?” you asked. 
“Buggy is a very temperamental man,” she said, leaning back. “Try not to get on his bad side.”
“It sounds like you don’t like him.” 
“I do, actually. God knows why. Are you finished?” 
“Yes, thank you.” 
“Come on then,” Crina told you, getting to her feet and dusting herself off. “There’s running water on the other side. I’ll keep watch so you can clean up.”   
Tumblr media
Although birds called and the breeze carried all sorts of noises from Barley Village, none of it really reached the northside. A solemn graveyard hush settled heavy between the wreckage of ruined buildings, drafty even in broad daylight. No ghosts hid in the shadows, no historical tragedy marred its name, but there remained the haunted imprint of people who were no longer around. 
Before setting you on your task of the day, Crina had given you a dress of hers to wear while your own clothes dried in the sun. You swam in it, but a sash at the waist made the fit look somewhat intentional and the long sleeves hid the ugly bruises cuffing your wrists. That, combined with having slept the previous night and most of the day, left you feeling oddly refreshed. Sure, all of the sleep had been in a cage and the only ‘bath’ you had was a couple of minutes alone with a spout that spat freezing water and a washcloth, but it was better than yesterday. Better than the day before that too, save for the bruises and big goose egg bump on the back of your head.  
Despite the headache, you were glad to be given something to do. The task wasn’t difficult. Busywork that kept you out of the way. Checking to ensure that everything which would be loaded on the ship was documented, organized, and ready for transport. It wasn’t entirely unlike what you had done in the past and, you imagined, would be doing in the future. It was, however, the opposite way around. The goods were obviously looted, you were creating a list to know exactly what and how much of it had been stolen. 
Vinegar, oil, wax.
You used the end of the pen to scratch beneath your bandana, which Crina had kindly retrieved for you. Sometimes the scar got itchy, like it had when it was healing. 
Twine, needles, thread. 
There was a particular smell to supply crates like these. Something to do with the place they were stored, or where they were made. Even now, years since you had been on a ship, it was overwhelmingly familiar. It made your stomach ache and chest clench, although you weren’t sure which quality of the scent was so unsettling. 
You scratched the scar again.
Vinegar, oil- 
Wait, you had already done that. Annoyed, you crossed out those words and crouched down to get into the next crate. Rope. It was coiled in tight loops like a huge snake, coarse beneath your fingers. Anything that was strong enough to endure the fury of the sea had to be coarse. Good rope was vital on a ship, you knew that even with your limited experience. Touching it reminded you of the time your dad tried to show you how to tie knots, and then subsequently had to treat your rope burn.
What would he think when he returned? Retired Marine or not, he was deeply involved with northside business and law. Missing supplies, missing daughter. Sometimes you felt an acidic sort of pleasure when imagining his reaction to your absence, but usually it was just dread.
Or worse. Prickling paranoia. You could run, for a time. But that was all it was. Running. He used to be a Marine, it wouldn’t be difficult for him to find you. When you were younger, the thought gave you comfort. 
But you didn’t want to think about that. Not at all. Not ever again. You stared very hard at the rope, desperate to put those thoughts out of your mind. 
You stared and stared and stared and-
Somebody grabbed you around the bicep, dragging you to your feet and forcing you back to reality. Yelping in fear, you were nearly knocked back down from the bloodrush dizziness of standing up too fast, saved only by the crates. 
“Good god, girl,” the unfamiliar man said, taking a step back, clearly put off by your reaction. “Are you deaf or something? I hollered at you three or four times. Were you sleeping?” 
Putting a hand to your racing heart, you looked from him to the still open crate and the notepad you had abandoned mid-task. You had no idea how long you had been sitting there. Long enough for your foot to go numb, prickling with pins and needles now that you were standing up. 
“I’m sorry,” you told him.
“The captain wants to see you. It’s urgent,” he said. When you didn’t immediately respond, still orienting yourself, he sighed impatiently and grabbed your elbow, physically dragging you away. You stumbled to keep up, trying very hard to avoid falling. “If Buggy asks why you took so long, you better tell him it was your fault.”
“I will,” you said to appease him, attempting to shake off his hand before realizing that it was pointless. “Please slow down.” 
“Not my fault you’ve got stumpy legs,” he said. “Keep up.” 
The unfairness of that stung, but you didn’t have much choice. You had a feeling that he’d keep on pulling you along even if it meant dragging you across the ground. 
“Where are we going?” you asked, embarrassingly out of breath. 
“There,” he said, nodding to one of the waterfront buildings. At least it was close. You never strayed so close to the water, the buildings were too squat to make for fun exploration and too exposed to give cover. 
The pirate released you when you got to the door, leaving you winded and scared. You adjusted your bandana and tried to catch your breath. “Don’t forget to tell him it was your fault it took so long, not mine,” he said, opening the door.
“I won’t,” you promised, the words papery thin on your dry tongue.  
You were in trouble. You had no idea what you might have done, but there had to be something. Why would you be summoned like this otherwise? A very bad feeling pressed against your sternum, but you forced yourself to walk forward. The door shut behind you. Inside, the air was dark and cool and wet, sending a little shiver down your spine. 
Buggy stood in the middle of the room, the only place where the sun found its way between the mangled teeth of glass and steel that used to be windows, his own little spotlight amidst the ruins. There were three other men on the edges of the light, their backs to you. One of them was bound. You did not like this. 
“There she is!” Buggy exclaimed, inviting you forward with his arms spread wide. “Come on, don’t be shy. Especially not after keeping us waiting so long. Your friend over here could hardly handle the suspense. 
Rocks and broken glass crunched beneath your feet as you approached them. Once you got close enough, finally, you could see the faces of the other men. One was the square-featured, angry man Buggy called Ivo. Another, a man you didn’t know. And the third, the one bound with a busted lip and developing black eye—
Randall called your name, trying to escape and rush to your side. Ivo grabbed him, pressing the blade of his knife against his throat.
“See, I told you, they’re working together,” Ivo said, glaring at you. “She tipped him off. No doubt this place will be swarming with the law before long.”
You stood completely still, staring at Randall with the steadily rising tide of panic sloshing in your stomach. After everything you had done to misdirect him, the note you left to beg he didn’t follow, the trouble you had put yourself through to keep from being seen, he was still here. 
“Are you okay?” Randall asked, looking you up and down frantically, concerned in a way he never had looked before. “Did they hurt you?” 
“I told you, she’s fine,” Buggy said with a grin. “I mean, yeah, Ivo over there did give her a little knock on the ole noggin—a love tap, really—but the eye was already like that when we found her.” 
“I wasn’t asking you,” Randall said, glaring at Buggy. 
“Shut up,” Ivo said, pressing the knife close enough to Randall’s throat that it broke skin. 
“No, no, let him go,” Buggy ordered casually, waving his hand. “He’s not gonna do anything stupid.” He threw an arm around your shoulder. “Not when I’ve got her.” 
Ivo reluctantly complied, releasing Randall. He watched you intently, and you knew what he was thinking. How could he save you?  
“Ivo over there thinks that the two of you are working together,” Buggy told you, smiling. His arm was heavy around your shoulders, oppressively so. “He thinks that we should kill you both.” 
“I’m not—I wouldn’t,” you told him. 
“And see, I wanna believe you. I really do. But he’s not talking, and,” Buggy ran his finger over your right cheek, reminding you of his threat from yesterday, “I’m starting to worry you’ve been lying to me.”
“I’m not,” you said, ice cold dread dripping into your veins a drop at a time. You fought your discomfort and forced yourself to meet his eyes, hoping he could see your sincerity. “I promise I’m not.” 
“Then how did he find this place?” 
“I don’t… I don’t know…”
“She used to hide here when we were kids,” Randall answered. “I thought she ran away, not that you freaks had kidnapped her. If I had known I’d find pirates here, I would have come armed.”
“Is that true?” Buggy asked you, pulling you even closer. Close enough to be embarrassing, to give the wrong impression, especially when he was stroking your cheek with a sort of affection that didn’t mesh with the danger in his blue eyes.
“I told you it is. Let her go, clown!” Randall shouted. His voice was loud enough to echo, and harsh enough to make you wince. That sort of rage wasn’t one you expected from him, but it was familiar all the same. 
“Oh, wow,” Buggy said with a laugh, looking up at him. “Is that jealousy I hear? She didn’t tell me she was leaving behind a boyfriend.” 
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you said softly, your insides twisting at the thought. 
“Really?” Buggy asked. He shrugged, and looked at Randall. “If you’re not doing this because you want to have sex with her, why are you here?” 
“I am a dear friend—both to her and her dad,” Randall answered. “He asked me to look after her because she… She’s not in a sound state of mind. And she’s the only family he has left. Without her, he’ll have nothing.” He grit his teeth. “Take me, kill me if you’re that thirsty for blood, but let her go. Please.”
“You’re a real knight in shining armor. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but she came here all on her own,” Buggy said, releasing you to approach him instead. “She begged to join my crew, got down on her knees and told me that she would be happy to serve me for the rest of her life. It was the most adorable thing.”
“No,” Randall said, his face twisting with disgust. “You’re lying. She wouldn’t do that.”
“Ask her yourself,” Buggy invited, stepping aside and sweeping out his arm. All eyes landed on you like a spotlight. Blood rushed in your ears, and you felt dizzy with it, ready to pass out on the spot. When you looked at Buggy, he smiled and nodded encouragingly. 
“It’s true,” you said.
“No. That is impossible,” Randall said. “This is insane. You are mad, you cannot make decisions like this for yourself.” You stared at his feet, your hands balled into fists. You were not crazy. You were not. That had to be true. “Whatever hysterics brought you here, give it up. These are pirates.”
“I’m a pirate too,” you declared, your hands forming fists at your sides. You weren’t crazy, or mad. You were thinking very clearly, more than you had in a while. 
“No, you are your father’s daughter,” Randall insisted, loud enough to make you flinch. “Can you imagine the agony he would feel hearing you say that?”
Your breathing was too fast, rapid enough to make your head spin. You kept shaking your head, tears flying off of your cheek, but you couldn’t recall when you had begun to cry. “I don’t care.” 
“Don’t care…? This bastard has already gotten into your head,” Randall said. “He has poisoned your broken mind with his lies and manipulations, please don’t let this go any further.”
You shook your head again, but there was nothing you could think of to say. You didn’t want to talk anymore, you just wanted this to be over. 
“Believe me, as much as I would love to claim otherwise, I had nothing to do with this,” Buggy said, raising his hands innocently. “You’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Think about what would drive a girl like this into the arms of a pirate. A broken heart, maybe? Was that your doing, lover boy? Did you break her heart? Make her feel like she wasn’t good enough?” 
“Keep your big goddamned nose out of our business, clown,” Randall said. 
The other pirates audibly gasped, and you could feel the sudden zap of tension in the air. Buggy’s taunting smile froze in place, his posture icing over like a statue. And then, a second later, he was rushing at Randall, burying his fist in the other man’s stomach. Randall crumpled onto his knees with a heavy grunt and you waited for something else, something worse. Crina said that Buggy had killed over jokes about his nose, and, right then, you believed it.
Nothing happened. You watched, frozen, as Buggy breathed in deeply, his shoulders rising and falling with it, and then he raised a hand.  
“New girl,” he called, snapping to beckon you closer. You obliged, rushing to his side. He didn’t look angry, not like you feared he would. Instead, he smiled. It was a mean smile, a frightening one. But a smile all the same. “Are you ready for your big moment?”   
“What?” 
“Your audition! I thought of the perfect act for you. Kill him.” 
You looked down at Randall, he was clearly still in pain, his eyes watering as he looked up at you. “I can’t,” you whispered, shaking your head again.  
“You can and will. Assuming you want to remain on my crew. Otherwise I’ll kill him and you’ll have to explain to daddy why prince charming was here in the first place.” He held out his hand towards Ivo. “Knife.” When he got it, Buggy flipped the knife handle first, holding it to you with a flourish. “You’re up, babydoll.”
“She won’t do it, clown,” Randall said through grit teeth. 
“Of course she will,” Buggy said. “For me.” 
As if moving through the dusky haze of a dream, you took the knife, wrapping your sweaty hand around the grip. The way Buggy smiled in response made your heart flutter, something to cling to amidst the horror and disgust. It didn’t feel real anymore. How could it be real? 
“I don’t know what to do.” Were those your words? Your voice?
Buggy laughed. “Of course you don’t,” he said, circling behind Randall. “C’mere, I’ll help you.” 
Randall was shouting and pleading, but Buggy had grabbed a fistfull of his hair to keep him from escaping. 
“You’ve gotta hold him still,” Buggy told you. “Like this, see?”  
“-don’t do this, please. You can’t… I love you!” 
You got a fistful of Randall’s hair, making him cry out in pain. There was no pleasure in the sound, only a roiling sense of disgust. It would be better when he was dead, and then he wouldn’t be in pain. 
“God you’re short,” Buggy said as he adjusted you into place, right between him and Randall. “You’ll be better off going for their ankles.” He wrapped his hand around yours, getting a good grip on the knife and holding it still. 
“-when he gets bored of fucking you. That’s all pirates do, rape and murder. You’ll never be one of them, you’ll just-”
“Start on one side and move to the other, easy as that,” Buggy said comfortingly, resting his chin against the side of your head. 
“-he doesn’t kill you, your dad will. Do you really think you’ll ever be able to hide from him?” 
Moving slowly, through a dream, you put the knife on the left side of Randall’s neck. It was no different from what a butcher did, really. 
Breath in. Pull. You instinctively locked up at the sound of Randall’s screams and the resistance of his flesh, but Buggy forced your hand, pulling the blade deep into his neck and then fast to the side. The knife got caught part way through, stuck in something hard. You tried to saw through it and Randall made an inhuman noise of agony. Buggy had to help you unstick it, to follow through until the knife slashed that horrifying scream short and then there was just a sort of gurgling sound and you didn’t know if it was because he was still alive or if it was an automatic process. 
There was so much blood, and it was hot, burning you. For some reason, you hadn’t anticipated the messy scarlet spray. From the deep slice came more blood. More, and more still. Randall’s heavy, limp body dropped onto the floor into a puddle of it, although you weren’t sure when you let go of his hair. Buggy released your hand, but you didn’t drop the knife, holding it in a death grip as blood streamed like red veins down your hand and wrist, down the blade and all the way to its tip before dripping to the dirty floor. The tang of iron filled your lungs. You shook all over, all the way down inside, your bones and organs shivering. It was your heart. It pounded frantically, like butterfly wings. And your breathing. Wheezing, gasping, gurgling like Randall’s had before he fell.
Your mouth opened to exhale, but there was nothing there. No air, no words. Nothing. Your cold gaze turned to look at Buggy, confused as to what you were supposed to do next. He had led you this far, but now you were lost. He smiled, and laughed, and took the knife away from you, tossing it to the side where it clanged and slid away. 
And then he folded you into his arms, your head pressed against his chest. His heartbeat was firm and steady, and he was so warm. He smelled of gunpowder and salty sea air and greasepaint and the natural warm scent of his skin. You clung to that, breathing in deep to excise the scent of blood. 
“Congratulations, babydoll,” Buggy told you. “Looks like you just got the part.” 
Tumblr media
The first firecracker went off not long after the sun had gone down, kicking off the surprise party with an especially loud zip and then a bang and a bursting sizzle. “It’s a surprise party,” Buggy told you, his face illuminated by the flash of red. “As in, the people who live here are going to be so surprised by the party I’m throwing for my crew. Get it?” 
A chain of firecrackers followed the first, a show that the pirates set off amidst a barrage of explosions, lighting up the sky with brilliant colors and smoke, making the earth tremble beneath your feet. They acted as distraction and lure, drawing people further into the town and inviting the ship that had been lurking nearby to enter the harbor. 
And after that came the chaos. 
Many things happened that you were aware of, if only passively. Leaving the northside and then Barley Village, waiting at the dock, and then boarding the ship as men and women in colorful attire flooded the yard, overtaking the few armed guards. You were told to sit on the deck and wait, so you did. Aware of it all—noxious sulfur and smoke filling the air, thunderous claps of explosives, popping gunshots, screaming voices, roaring fires—but uninvolved. There was a sense of great quiet. Not outside where things were loud and violent and scary, but inside. You were very quiet on the inside. Far away from everything and everyone else. 
Blood flaked off of your skin, caking beneath the nails when you scratched your arm. It would have been nice to wash it off, but you didn’t know where you would go for that, and you didn’t want to get up.
“Yoo-hoo, is anybody in there?” 
A gloved hand waved in front of your face. 
You let out a hoarse scream, nearly tipping backwards from how violently you startled. It didn’t take long for you to realize how overblown the reaction was, Buggy’s laughter made the point quite clearly. 
“What was that?” he asked, almost laughing too hard to get the words out. He stood above you without his coat and hat, although he kept the striped headscarf, and a bottle tucked under his arm. 
“You scared me,” you told him, a hand on your racing heart.
“That noise you just made though,” he said, still laughing. “It sounded like one of those scream-y fireworks.”
“I didn’t know you were there.”
“Your fault, not mine. I was trying to talk to you, but you just sat there. I thought it was your eye that didn’t work, not your ears.”
“I guess I… zoned out a little.” 
“No shit. Ah, that was good,” Buggy said as his laughter subsided. “I had no idea human beings could even make sounds like that.” Letting out a big breath to settle himself, he sat down next to you. Very close, far closer than you would have, almost touching. “Kinda makes me wonder what other kinds of sounds you can make.” 
“I know, it’s annoying,” you said, staring hard at the deck. “I’m sorry.” 
Buggy laughed at that too, shaking his head. “You really have no clue, do you?” he asked. “Is it weird that I’m into it?” 
“Into what?” you asked. “I’m sorry, I… don’t understand.” 
“I know you don’t, and that’s okay,” he said with a mocking sort of indulgence, patting your head. “Anyway, I had a little business in town and snagged this from some rich guy’s house.” He held up a bottle by the neck and swished its contents a little for effect. “We’re going to celebrate.” 
“Wouldn’t you rather be out there?” you asked, the first coherent question that came to your mind as it scrambled to make sense of what he had just said. 
“Between you and me, this,” Buggy said with a confidential hush, gesturing to your burning town, “isn’t my thing. It’s a reward for my freaks, gives ‘em an outlet to express themselves artistically. I prefer a more… performative platform. True art deserves a spotlight and an audience.” He waved that away, smiling. “But this isn’t about me, it’s about you.” 
“Me?”
“You really impressed me earlier. I mean, yeah, your technique needs polish, and you’ve got no stage presence to speak of, but you displayed raw talent. I really think you have a shot at success, sweetheart. Stick with me, and I’ll make something out of you yet.” 
“Thank you,” you said softly, shying away from thinking about earlier. The praise though, that was heady. That made you feel warm. 
Buggy popped the cork off the bottle, taking a drink straight from it and smacking his lips appreciatively. “You like sweet things, right?” 
“I-” 
“You’ll love this then. Here, try it.” 
You eyed the bottle he was proffering to you warily. Alcohol was something you were familiar with, but you could count on your fingers the number of times you had actually tasted it. “I don’t know…” you said, trying to think of ways to reject drinking without seeming ungrateful.   
“You’re a pirate now, so you’ve gotta learn to drink like one,” Buggy told you, pushing it into your hand. “What’s the worst that could happen?” 
You sniffed the open lip, surprised by the sweetness. It didn’t smell as strongly of alcohol as you feared. Not like what your father drank. Maybe it would be okay. Trying to avoid embarrassing yourself, you tipped the bottle back just like he had. That was a mistake. It didn’t smell like alcohol, but you could taste it—feel it, even. Panicked by your body’s natural response to expel it, you swallowed as much as you could, coughing out the rest. Red liquid drooled down your chin, staining the dress that was already ruined with dried blood. Buggy laughed. A little at first, and then a lot. 
Flushing, you wiped your mouth.
“Oh, don’t be like that. That was hilarious,” Buggy told you. You looked away, even more embarrassed. “Your face was priceless. You threw that back with the confidence of a real fire-hazard, saggy skinned, dead eyed alcoholic. You were so serious about it too, and then… Good lord.”
“I didn’t know!” you said, trying and failing not to sound shrill. 
“It’s okay, you’ve got me to help you now. Try it again, but don’t be so greedy. Baby sips.” 
“No, thank you,” you said, holding the bottle back to him. 
“Drink. That’s an order,” he said, pushing it back to you. 
That gave you pause. “Do you mean that?” you asked. 
He nodded, urging you on. 
Your shoulders drooped in defeat. Trepidatiously, you took a small sip. At least you didn’t hack it back up this time. While the taste was sweet, the burn was not. It rose up like smoke into your head, you could feel it.  
“What if I get drunk?” you asked. 
“Oh, you’re going to get drunk, captain’s orders,” Buggy said with a grin. “I can’t stand watching you sit around moping about killing that guy. Besides, you’re a pirate now.”
The little ball of anxiety deep in your gut doubled. This was wrong, you knew it was. Or maybe you were wrong, and Buggy was right. You didn’t know. 
“I don’t want to embarrass myself,” you muttered.
“As long as you don’t jump into the water or shit yourself, you’ll be fine…” You looked at him, horrified. “Joking! C’mon, I’ve taken good care of you so far, haven’t I? You’ll be fine.”
The way he laughed made you want to believe him. He was your captain now. You nodded seriously and, steeling yourself, took another drink. And another. 
“See? It’s good, right?” Buggy asked, holding out his hand for the bottle. 
You licked your lips, cleaning up the lingering sweetness. “It is. Thank you,” you said, unable to keep yourself from admiring the way his throat worked as he swallowed, the view unfortunately obscured by his cravat. 
The perverse thought took you by surprise. Was it the alcohol? Already, your head was spinning, your thoughts a little more disorganized. It wasn’t like the quiet, empty feeling of before. It was warm and distant, it made your shoulders relax, the anxiety and uncertainty of before fading. This was a good idea, you already felt so much better. When he passed the bottle back, you didn’t have to be prompted to imbibe, chasing that feeling.   
“I don’t mean to pry, but when that guy back there mentioned your dad, it really seemed to get to you,” Buggy said. “What, did daddy not love you? Or maybe he loved you a little too much.”
You didn’t want to talk about that. You didn’t want to think about it. You took another big drink. 
On the horizon, the town was utterly ablaze. As the night grew darker, the flames rose higher. Which building was burning so brightly? It belched thick, black smoke into the night sky. Who was in it? Anybody you knew?
“Don’t wanna talk about it, hm? That’s fine,” Buggy said, stealing the bottle back. “With any luck, my freaks’ll kill him tonight, eh? Then you’ll really be free.” 
“He’s gone right now,” you said, your words soft and slurring together. “Out of town.” What would he think of the smoldering ashes? Would he believe you had perished in the flame? Somehow, you doubted that. He would know what you had done. There was no chance of freedom, not for you. 
“That’s even better,” Buggy said.  
Your eyebrows furrowed as you turned to him, both in confusion and disbelief. “How?” 
“Because, babydoll,” Buggy told you, shaking your shoulder to make sure you were paying attention. “It’s good to have somebody to hate—somebody to prove wrong. He tried to convince you that you’re crazy, he tried to keep you from ever being yourself. That pain and anger made you weak. But you’re not weak anymore. Tonight, I showed you how to be strong. It’s not enough to tell those assholes that they’re wrong, you have to prove it to them. That’s what tonight was about, right? You proved to your dad, to everybody, that you’re stronger than they thought. And, hey, you proved it to me, too. I wasn’t sure about you at first, but I changed my mind.” He threw an arm around you, pulling you close. “I like you, kiddo. A lot.” 
“I like you too,” you said, relaxing into the little side hug, very aware of every place his bare arm met your bare shoulders and neck. The alcohol had stoked a nice blaze in your stomach and chest, making your head spin in a way you didn’t mind that much. Smoothing the colors, softening the air, making you want to lean into his touch, made you crave more of it. 
Buggy pulled away, leaving the bottle in your hands. You felt a little cold without him.  
“You know,” he said, smiling at you. The far off flames glinted mischievously in his eyes. The flaring reds and oranges highlighted his cheekbones too, defined the sharpness of his jaw. You were caught off guard by how viscerally you reacted to the thought that he was handsome, your filterless mind caught in an endless loop of focusing on the fact. “Burning down this shithole is nothing compared to what I will do. The towns I’ll raze to the ground, the treasure I’ll steal, the shows I’ll put on. Now that I’ve got a crew, I’m gonna put on a show like nobody’s ever seen. The biggest, flashiest, greatest show ever. Everybody will be screaming my name, recognize my face. I’ll shine so bright that they’ll have no choice but to love me. ” 
Buggy’s intensity made you smile, you couldn’t help it. Alcohol had created a cloudy burst of affection within you, or maybe it was just the floodgates of tension finally collapsing, letting out something that would have otherwise been smothered. Either way, it was as intoxicating as the drink itself. 
“Are you laughing at me?” Buggy asked, his tone filled with steel. You looked to see his dark expression, his narrowed eyes. 
“I’m not,” you said, confused by his rapid shift in demeanor. “I’m… I’m happy. I’ll do anything to help you.” 
He relaxed. “Well, you’d better start working on your act.” 
That made you laugh, a dizzy, bubbly sound. “I can’t do an act. I wouldn’t know what to do.” 
“There has to be something. Let me think… Can you sing?”
“I used to, a little. But not for a really long time.” 
“Come on, let me hear it.”
You were drunk, you knew that for a fact because in no state of sobriety would you offer to sing in front of another person. But, right then, bubbling with alcohol and protected by the darkness of the smoky night sky, you felt invincible. 
“Oh, what do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning? Slash his…um… something, something, captain’s daughter. Toss him in… to… the dirty water…” Whatever coherence you held onto unraveled into a fit of drunken laughter at the awful rhyme. “I’m sorry, I think… I think I forgot some of the words.”  
“Seems like you forgot the tune too,” Buggy said, wincing dramatically. All that did was make you laugh harder. “Hold on a second, let me wipe the blood out of my ears.” 
You swatted his shoulder, although your attempted indignance probably wasn’t very convincing when you were still smiling. “Don’t be mean!”
“That’s a bold way to treat your captain,” he told you, but he was smiling too. 
“Please don’t be mean to me, Captain Buggy,” you said, speaking slowly to emphasize how serious you were. 
“Beg me again.” 
You blinked. “What?” 
“Nothing,” he said, waving it off in a way that made you think he was making fun of you. “Anyway, I’m being nice right now, especially after that performance. The critics would eat you alive for that one. So, singing is out. Clearly. What else have you got?”
“Oh! I know a, um, a rhyme. A joke.” 
He looked at you skeptically. “Really?” 
“What is that s’posed to mean?” you asked.
“You don’t strike me as somebody with… How should I put this… A sense of humor?” 
You frowned. 
“Alright, alright, quit pouting and tell me,” Buggy said impatiently, waving you to continue. 
You cleared your throat very theatrically, sitting up as straight as you could manage. 
“There was a young lass who thought
Very little but thought it a lot.
Then at long last she knew
What she wanted to do,
But before she could start, she forgot.”
Deflating, you laughed, surprised at how clearly you had delivered the words. Especially considering how long it had been since you heard them. 
Buggy didn’t look nearly as impressed. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a clean limerick before,” he said. “And now I know why. I mean, what’s the point of limerick without the ick.”
You blew a raspberry at him. “Fine, you do one.”
“Okay, but you have to prepare yourself,” Buggy said. You nodded encouragingly.
“There was a young plumber named Lee
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea.
She said, ‘Stop your plumbing,
There's somebody coming’
Said the plumber, still plumbing, ‘It's me.’"
Belatedly, you gasped, your hands covering your mouth. That shock dissolved into giggles. “That’s, oh, that’s… that’s dirty.”
“Aw, was it too much for your delicate sensibilities? Now that you’re a pirate, you’re gonna hear a lot worse than that. A looooooooot worse. I hope your unspoiled ears can handle it.”  
“I can!” you insisted, taking a big drink to steel yourself before setting the bottle aside. If you were going to be a pirate, you had to stop getting so flustered. “More. Please.” 
“Okay, okay…” Buggy cleared his throat. “A hooker roaming the East Blue, 
Once filled her vagina with glue, 
She said, with a grin, ‘Well, they paid to get in, 
And they’ll damn sure pay to get out, too.’”
You laughed loudly, as much at the joke as the taboo nature of it. You laughed, and then giggled in a bubbly, drunken way that you knew was too loud and embarrassing. “That is icky,” you told him. “Jeez, that’s…” Your faux seriousness dissolved into a fit of giggles again and you leaned against him for stability. “What would you even do?” 
“Yeah, I don’t know. It sounds like a sticky situation,” he said, nudging you with his elbow. That, of course, sent you into another fit of giggles. 
“I’m sorry, I’m…” you said. “I think I’m drunk.” You looked behind yourself at the town, the glittery haze of joy buzzing in your head fading at the sight. It was horrific, wasn’t it? And here you were, laughing like a fool. You couldn’t really comprehend the magnitude of it all, even if you could acknowledge that it was terrible. “Is it okay?” you asked, looking back at him imploringly. “Everything that happened tonight… I thought I would feel very different after, but I don’t. It almost feels like it’s not even real. You ever get that? When things happen but they feel so impossible that you get confused?”
“If you can think that clearly,” Buggy said, “then you’re not drunk enough. Bottoms up, babydoll.” You smiled at his use of the pet name and the fluttery feeling it gave you. What else could you do but oblige, tipping the bottle back like before. Only, unlike before, you kept it all down. There wasn’t any real burn, just more sweetness, more warmth. 
And then there was nothing left. 
“Woah,” you said, lowering the empty bottle and wiping your mouth. “‘s all gone.”
“And how do you feel?” he asked. 
You opened your mouth to respond, but all that came out was a dizzy sort of laugh. “I dunno…” you said, closing your eye, trying to collect your thoughts. “I’m…” Already things were getting even more fuzzy and foggy. Fabric stuck to your flushed skin, the salty air drying across your chest and cheeks. “I feel… very…”
Making an upset noise in the back of your throat, you pushed your hair back, catching the bandana and pulling it off so you could feel the breeze on your whole face. That helped. Drawing in a deep breath, you looked at him, trying to focus. Only, the second you saw him, all you could do was smile. His eyes were greedy about the light, sparkling with it. Even with the nose, Buggy was handsome. That was not something you could tell him though, not at all ever. Unfortunately you had forgotten what you were saying in the first place. 
“Very… what?” Buggy asked. “‘Cause if you keep trying to be a buzzkill, I’ll give you something to laugh about.”
Were you a buzzkill? You couldn’t remember what you had said or done to earn that title. It was hard enough to comprehend what was happening in the moment. “Like what?” you asked.
“Like… this!” Buggy said, using the sash around your waist to pull you closer so he could tickle your sides. You jumped and squealed, the bottle rolling out of your hands as you tried to fight him off. 
“No no no, don’t,” you cried, trying to escape. You were being too loud, moving too much, acting like an idiot, but you didn’t have enough control to stop. 
“Why not?” he asked. “You’re laughing, aren’t you?” 
It was true, you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing, letting it out in panicked little bursts. Time had a bizarre elasticity to it, everything hitting you at once and fading just as fast. Laughing, sobbing, begging him to stop. It was easy to catch and hold onto one of his hands, but that left the other one free. And if you tried to catch that one instead, you had to release the first. There must have been a better way to do it, but you felt as if, bit by bit, particle by particle, the world was separating, the hot and humid air splitting, your limbs becoming loose, your capacity for rational thought dissipating like mist. 
Lacking any sort of control and with a completely undeserved sense of invulnerability, you tackled him. Buggy let it happen, still laughing. At least he had stopped. 
“God, it’s like being attacked by a drunk, one-eyed toddler,” he said. “What are you gonna do, whine me into submission?” 
“Don’t be mean,” you said seriously, your words ruined by something wavering between a laugh and a sob, or maybe it was just the drunken slur. 
“You attacked me. If anything, I'm the victim here.” 
“No! You started it!” 
“Hold on, are you… crying?” Buggy asked incredulously. “Aw, you poor thing. I mean, you were laughing so much, how could I have known you didn’t like it?” 
“I don’t!” you insisted. 
“To be clear,” he said. “You don’t like this?” He attacked your sides, not tickling so much as just teasing, but to the same effect. You yelped and sat up squirm away, swatting at his hands. 
Rather than laugh like before, Buggy groaned, his hips bucking up against you. A loud, harsh gasp left your mouth, your entire body going rigid from the liquid heat of friction, your thighs squeezing around him. At some point, your skirt had ridden up, your panties being the only barrier left. You didn’t think you had ever been as acutely aware of how achingly empty, electrically tingly, as you were right then. 
Bad. Very bad.
“Oh, there’s another fun noise,” Buggy said, laughing as he propped himself upright with his arms. “I can’t believe that got you.” 
“No,” you said quickly, dizzy from the intensity of your reaction and how close the two of you were. You could smell him, the sweat, the musk, the salt, the greasepaint, the gunpowder. You could see the glitter in his makeup, the fire catching in his eyes. “It jus’... surprised me.” 
“Is that why you’re shaking?” Buggy asked, rubbing your exposed thigh, the fabric of his glove catching the sensitive skin. 
“I’m… um…” Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to organize the drunken slush of your brain. Being so close to him, feeling his body against yours, sent deviously tantalizing tingling sparks through you. And guilt. It was wrong, he wasn’t doing anything to invite those feelings, you were just being weird and drunk and embarrassing and you couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. You’d have to tilt your head a lot, although the stubble would be more hazardous than his nose. The last time you kissed someone, you were both young enough that you didn’t have to navigate facial hair. And then there was the matter of the makeup. You tried to imagine what you might look like after, the slash of red and imprint of white. Maybe they’d mix into pink. You tried to force yourself to focus on something else, but you couldn’t meet his eyes either. Nervous and confused and filled with a million different feelings you had no name for, you squirmed again, thoughtlessly adding to the anxious feedback loop of heat and need and intoxicated emptiness. 
“You know, sweetheart, this reminds me,” Buggy said, “there’s still the matter of your physical. It’s standard procedure for new crew. We could get that over and done with while you’re… lubricated.”
“What’re you… talking about?”  
“I’ve gotta make sure you’re fit, healthy… Clean of anything you could pass on to the forty or so people you’re gonna be stuck with in an enclosed space for weeks at a time.”
“How d’you do that?” 
“You’ve been to a doctor, right? It’s kinda like that. I know it can feel a little invasive, so it might be better to do it while you’re drunk.”
“What…” you started to ask, but then Buggy shifted, his hips pushing up against you. The fresh wash of warmth it sent into your core scattered your mind, and you lost the already tenuous thread of thought. Your eyelashes fluttered, although you weren’t sure when you had closed your eye. “Umm…”
“Well, first,” he said, answering the question you hadn’t asked, “you’d have to take off your clothes. Then relax while I have a little look-see. It’s important that you stay as still as possible. I’ll have a hard time finishing if you can’t stop squirming around the whole time.” 
“Do you really have to?” you asked, your brow furrowing. It sounded embarrassing. But maybe if it was him, you didn’t mind? Your dad did all of your past medical check-ups so it wasn’t inherently wrong. But the thought of Buggy seeing you without clothes wasn’t exactly nice, you could only imagine his disgust. That was bad. 
“Depends on if you’re serious about being a pirate or not,” Buggy said.   
“I am serious!” you exclaimed. Your hands went to the sash around your waist to pull the bow free. If you did it quickly, you wouldn’t be as embarrassed. 
“Woah, wait. Holy shit,” Buggy said, “are you seriously—” He cracked up laughing, making you freeze. “I didn’t think you’d actually fall for that.”
“You’re… laughing,” you said, your fingers falling with the slow sink of humiliation. 
“You really were going to strip for me, out in the open and everything.” Buggy laughed harder, rocking forward. “I didn’t expect you to be so eager. Hey, if you really wanna get naked, I’m not going to stop you.” 
“I don’t, I just… I thought…” you said, pulling away from him and trying to get onto your feet to get away, embarrassment lighting the worst sort of fire within you.  
“Woah, calm down, it was just a joke,” Buggy said, his laughter fading. “You’re absolutely plastered, if you stand up, you’re gonna fall right back down.” You didn’t stop, resolute to get onto your feet and put some distance between you and him. “I won’t catch you.” 
“’m fine,” you told him. 
You finally got your footing and braced against your knee to lurch upright. For a second, you were standing up and weightless. And then you were nothing.
161 notes · View notes
flightfoot · 9 months
Text
Miraculous movie review
Just watched the movie. Overall, I'm pretty mixed on it. There were some things I thought it did well and others I thought it was pretty poor at, especially with how the constraints of its runtime meant it couldn't build relationships as well. Ultimately, I prefer the show, though the movie definitely had some things going for it.
More details below the break, warning there will be SPOILERS below.
What I liked about the movie:
It had some really nice music and song sequences, they were my favorite part of the movie! I thought the singing was top-notch, and I loved the visuals they brought out for them, even if it was clearly non-diagetic most of the time. I adore musicals and sadly there haven't been enough of them lately.
The movie was more consistent with its tone and theming than the show usually is. Granted, that's a LOT easier to do in a single movie than in a show spanning 100+ episodes over seven years. They really leaned into the "Marinette has low self-confidence and just considers herself a useless mess who causes disasters all the time, so she needs to learn that she IS capable and heroic."
This movie BELONGED to Ladynoir, specifically with the song sequences with both of them, I adored them singing duets and dancing together.
ADRIEN GOT TO FIND OUT GABRIEL WAS HAWK MOTH AND REALLY REACT TO IT. Gabriel gave a genuine, heartfelt apology for everything, and gave up when he realized he'd been hurting his son. Since this version of Gabriel had only been avoiding Adrien out of grief and hadn't seemed to ever go out of his way to hurt him or subjugate him, Adrien forgiving him worked, I thought. This version of Gabriel jives nicely with most Gabenath fics I've read.
---
What I didn't like about the movie:
While I enjoyed the song sequences the most, they did feel kind of jarring with the rest of the movie, especially since Marinette and Adrien had different voice actors for the singing parts.
Adrien's and Marinette's relationship was barely developed in the Adrienette dynamic. I was actually surprised when Ladybug told Chat that her heart belonged to someone else, given that she'd only had like, two scenes with him as a civilian? And neither one was THAT meaningful. The library scene was nowhere NEAR the level of the umbrella scene.
This movie had beautiful music... for the singing parts. But then they tried to bring out the opening chords of "Careless Whisper" for some bits that were supposed to be romantic and... yeah no, that didn't work at all. It felt like a parody. The show uses its OST WAY better, especially "In The Rain".
While this movie emphasized the Ladynoir dynamic, it didn't actually work for me? It was nice to see them sparring, but I didn't like their actual interactions - mostly because of how Chat was portrayed.
Which leads to a point about Chat: he got done dirty here, with his over-the-top bravado getting to the point of arrogance and it even seeming like he was putting Ladybug down sometimes, with him calling her a "sidekick" several times (which Plagg joined in on for some reason) and a watermelon and while that seems to have been in order to show how his and Ladybug's relationship strengthened and became more playful over time, the shortened length of the movie didn't really allow that to be conveyed well. He was mostly just annoying, and it didn't feel like he actually got to do much in fights. We didn't get to follow him much so there wasn't much reason to get attached to Adrien, either.
Were the fart scenes with Plagg really necessary?
---
Overall I'm happy I watched it, but I wouldn't call it the definitive version of Miraculous by any means. For all its flaws and foibles, I far prefer the show, with the relationships and characters its built, and the creative, intelligent superhero fights it showcases. Just watched the movie wouldn't have gotten me into Miraculous's world, but the show entranced me after only two episodes.
254 notes · View notes
bbobpul · 8 months
Text
break my heart again 2 — njm
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
PAIRING. na jaemin x reader SUMMARY.how's jaemin gonna give back for all of y/n's efforts now that he finally can? it's been years—just how much has everything changed? GENRE. angst, fluff, she fell first 🤭 W/C. 3.5k NOTE. hello, part two is here! so sorry i couldn't make a taglist. i didn't have time to make one. nevertheless, i hope this fic make its way back to you. love u all and thankies sm !!!! also, my requests are open !!!
(⁠☉⁠。⁠☉⁠)⁠!⁠→ my other works !!!!!! part one here!!
i find it hard to picture myself ever being as dedicated to something or someone again, just like how i dedicated my entire college life to na jaemin.
lately, i've been feeling like i forgot what it's like to actually have a dream. back then, na jaemin was my dream, he was my driving force. i would force myself to wake up so early in the morning just so i could see him (or his car) enter the gates of the university. i would go to school even though i am sick and feel a lot better when i get home because i saw na jaemin. but now two years after graduating, i still haven't found a decent job that i actually enjoy.
it's a common experience that many people go through, and i suppose i shouldn't complain about it. maybe i need to put in more effort and push myself harder. part of me wonders if having na jaemin back in my life would rekindle that same sense of dedication that i once had. but as i say these thoughts out loud, they sound absurd, even to myself. why would i wish for my first love to return just so i could find a decent job? why would i long for na jaemin to come back merely to feel that spark in my life again? it's puzzling why i'm even dwelling on thoughts of him and wondering if he holds the key to my happiness and success.
oh, to dream.
oh, for that old dedication to still burn within you.
if only you hadn't acted so dumb that day. could life have taken a different path? are you even happy now? if you hadn't let fear hold you back back then, if you'd actually been brave enough to listen and follow through, would you be happier today?
but no matter how much you keep bothering yourself with that memory, if people come up to you and ask if you feel bad about everything that happened that day, you'd say no. you don't feel bad at all.
deciding to let him go was one of the best things you did. he seemed happy when you left, and after that, you never heard anything about him. he's like a touchy subject in your group of friends, which can be tough sometimes since you share friends. but does it really matter now? him not being in your life probably means he's happier and more peaceful, right?
are you feeling peaceful? is being stuck in a 9-5 job that hardly brought you joy a happy situation? scratch that. did being in that job make you happy? clearly not, as you've just mustered the bravery to quit. and in doing so, you've never felt more joyful.
did you really make the right decision?
just as you were pondering your own question, your phone buzzed on the bedside table. you grabbed it and saw that the caller was renjun, your incredibly patient best friend.
"y/n," he said, his tone becoming unusually serious. "what's up?" you asked. "do you need money?" "yeah?" "here's the deal: our college is putting together a documentary film, and they've chosen your department. but guess what? your old classmates are bombarding me with messages because it looks like you're ignoring them all. frankly, i can't believe you even answered my call," he griped. "wait, hold on. what film? and why would they pick me? are they searching for someone with a post-college life so sad that it belongs in a documentary?" "well, you were practically a legend back in college, so… and apparently, the director specifically wants you, which leads to… well, another issue…" "what's the problem now?" "it's going to be directed by jaemin."
and just like that, you ended the call. but a few seconds later, renjun's call came in again.
"i'm not going to do it." "you stubborn brat." "why him?" "i have no idea!" "why is he even directing? wasn't he studying architecture or something?" "i don't know, y/n. i haven't heard a single thing about him since your graduation." "what do you mean?" "that's not important now, y/n. you're in need of money, right? seize the opportunity. do it for the cash." “so will you do it or will you do it?” “for the cash.”
...
"y/n, you've moved on, haven't you? what's done is done. i'm pretty sure jaemin has forgotten all about it. this chance is coming your way, so just accept it." "i guess i will."
you're drawn in by the idea of making some extra money and the possibility of catching the eye of potential agents or employers. right now, you're at a crossroads, thinking about how this documentary could be a stepping stone to more job opportunities down the line. this situation is different from what usually drives you – this time, it's not about others, it's about focusing on your own goals and aspirations.
you're deliberately avoiding dwelling on your past. just as renjun mentioned, you've moved beyond it. what's done is done. right now, your focus is firmly on the present and the potential that lies ahead in the future.
what's in the past is behind us, including whatever existed between jaemin and you.
from renjun
tomorrow at lunchtime, they'll be going over the schedules and discussing what to film. if you want, you can chat with the director now. his number is 0825 813 2000.
in response, you simply replied with a "okay."
the night before the lunch meeting, a jumble of emotions has you in its grip. the idea of reconnecting with jaemin, who used to be your best friend and is now someone distant, fills you with a sense of awkwardness. you tell yourself that this is about working together and the chance to grow professionally.
after taking a deep breath, you decide to shoot jaemin a text. your fingers hesitate as you type, and the uncertainty you're feeling seems to seep into your message. you finally press send, and your text reads, "hey, it's y/n. heard we're meeting tomorrow for the documentary. just wanted to check in before that."
in almost no time, your phone buzzes with a response: "hey y/n, good to hear from you. yeah, looking forward to our meeting. let's catch up and chat about the project."
the conversation is polite, but beneath the surface, there's an unspoken layer of complexity. you can feel the hesitation in your exchange, a silent recognition of the shared history that's now a distant memory. as you talk about the meeting and the documentary, the easy flow you once had is noticeably absent.
as the texts go back and forth, a sense of tension seems to hang in the air. it's as though the years of friendship you once had are casting a shadow over your conversation. the effortless connection you once shared now requires effort, and both of you can sense the change.
as the conversation wraps up with a simple "see you tomorrow," you're left with a mix of excitement and anxiety. the idea of seeing jaemin again, especially in a professional context, stirs up a range of emotions. this situation is a stark reminder of just how much things have changed – and maybe how some things can't go back to the way they were.
you believed the conversation had concluded, only for your phone to ring once more, bearing yet another message from him. as you read the words on the screen, "i missed you, y/n," a rush of emotions floods over you.
"what's going on with him?" you mutter to yourself, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion. your gaze remains fixed on the message for a moment, your attention drawn to the three blinking dots in the corner – a sign that he's in the process of typing a response. several more seconds tick by, the dots eventually vanishing, and in response, you shut your phone off. you make an attempt to settle into bed and get some rest, but truth be told, it's hard to claim you managed to sleep soundly that night. an undercurrent of thoughts and emotions keeps your mind restless.
the day of lunch lunch finally arrived. you sat across from jaemin, his words forming a distant hum as your thoughts remained clouded and preoccupied. the lingering impact of his recent message kept you in a state of unease, making it difficult to fully engage in the conversation he was leading.
then, something inside you snapped, and you found yourself abruptly interrupting him with a question that had been gnawing at you, "why me?"
he looked at you, his gaze steady, and his response was quick, "why not you?"
your frustration simmered as his words hit you. he was choosing to be cryptic, and it was only adding to your confusion. pushing past your exasperation, you pressed on, "listen, i know we didn't part on the best terms, but why come back now and act like everything's fine? i mean, sure, it's better than hostility, but why choose me? i'm the one who's no longer part of your life."
his expression remained neutral, void of any emotions as he replied, "that's not true."
you raised an eyebrow, challenging him to elaborate. "what's not true?"
"that you have nothing to do with my life, y/n," he stated firmly.
the weight of his words settled heavily between you two, the gravity of the situation growing more apparent. the lunch table had transformed into an arena for confronting unresolved issues.
you scoffed, unable to hold back your disbelief. "jaemin, i made one mistake, and now you're trying to imply that my actions shaped your entire life?"
his eyes held yours, unwavering. "y/n, it's not just about that one mistake. everything that followed, everything that shaped who i am today… it's all connected to you."
your mind reeled, trying to grasp the enormity of what he was suggesting. the complexities of your shared history seemed to crash over you, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions and a tangled web of unspoken feelings.
the weight of his words left you momentarily speechless, and in an attempt to shift away from the intensity, you sought to change the subject. "where are the other producers? why is it just you here?"
"y/n…" he began, his tone suggesting he wanted to continue the previous conversation.
however, you opted to sidestep the discussion entirely. you pretended as if the profound exchange hadn't just occurred. "i notice you're taking on the role of a director now. quite the career shift, huh?" you inquired, masking your internal turmoil with a casual demeanor. you acted as if there hadn't been a two-year gap in your connection, as though things between you were perfectly ordinary.
he met your gaze, a faint hint of something unreadable in his eyes. "i pursued another dream when i felt i'd lost the chance for my first one."
"your first dream… not architecture, then?" you prodded, curious about the direction he had taken.
he shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping him, leaving you puzzled yet again. "no, not architecture. well, i suppose that just wasn't meant for me back then, but maybe it is now."
the cryptic nature of his response only added to the layers of confusion and intrigue that surrounded him. there was something about the way he spoke that hinted at deeper currents beneath the surface, emotions and experiences that he hadn't fully revealed. you found yourself torn between the desire to push for answers and the instinct to allow him his privacy. the lunch meeting had transformed into a stage for untangling not just the complexities of the documentary but also the intricate web of emotions and history between you and jaemin.
leaving the restaurant, a whirlwind of unanswered questions dances in your mind. yet, for now, you choose to tuck those thoughts away, focusing instead on the looming filming date just a few days away – next saturday.
in the span of time between that lunch and the upcoming shoot, jaemin proves consistent in his attempts to bridge the gap between you two. he regularly reaches out, updating you about his day and proposing get-togethers, which you consistently decline.
the days pass, marked by a series of messages and missed opportunities. despite the undeniable tension, there's an undeniable persistence on jaemin's part, a determined effort to reconnect and reestablish a sense of familiarity. however, your apprehensions and the memories of your past dynamics hold you back, keeping you from embracing his overtures.
as the countdown to the filming day continues, you find yourself in a delicate dance – balancing the unresolved history between you and the prospects of the future. the lines between your personal and professional lives are blurred, and the documentary project becomes a backdrop against which the intricacies of your relationship with jaemin play out.
you find yourself constantly pondering what his intentions could be. his actions leave you wondering, and you can't help but question what he's aiming for. in your perspective, you're merely a negative aspect of his life – a streak of misfortune. you would have expected him to have learned from the past, but his determination remains unshakeable.
as you contemplate these thoughts, your phone lights up once more, bearing yet another message from him. his name on the screen triggers a whirlwind of emotions – a mixture of uncertainty, annoyance, and a hint of curiosity. opening the message, you brace yourself for whatever he might convey this time. the consistency in his attempts at communication only serves to deepen the intricate web of emotions you hold for him, leaving you caught between your shared history and the unpredictability of the present.
"the offer's still there, y/n. :)" "jaemin, let's be real. just because i'm on board with your documentary idea doesn't mean we're suddenly best buds again. a lot has changed." "i want to reconnect, though." "actually, scratch that. i want to get to know you all over again." "jaemin, i appreciate the effort, but let's keep things professional, okay?" “i’m sorry, y/n. goodnight.”
after your straightforward message, his responses ceased. a silence settled in, stretching on until saturday – the day you were set to see him again. the anticipation and uncertainty had been building, and now the moment was finally at hand.
you stepped into the studio and immediately noticed that you and jaemin were the only ones present. your confusion must have been evident on your face, prompting him to address the situation promptly.
"um, the team thought having fewer people in the room would create a more personal atmosphere," he began, his voice carrying a hint of unease. "and, well, they decided to keep me here, you know, being the director and all, and also because we have a history…"
his words trailed off, and there was a subtle vulnerability in his tone. it was as if he was acknowledging the intricacies of your past connection, while simultaneously recognizing the complexities it introduced into your current dynamic. the studio, usually a place of creativity and collaboration, had transformed into a space laden with the weight of your shared history.
"it's okay," you responded, your words carrying a touch of reassurance. as your reply registered, a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips – a detail you couldn't help but notice. after all, it was that very smile that had ignited four years of your life, a smile that held memories and emotions you had both shared.
"um, i'll just ask you a few questions, and then you're free to go," he stated, his voice carrying a hint of nervousness that didn't escape your notice. this new facet of his demeanor felt unfamiliar to you, a departure from the confident jaemin you had known.
you found yourself disliking this uneasiness, and a thought occurred to you – maybe it was time to rekindle something within him. as he began asking you questions, you decided to respond in a way that would evoke a certain familiarity between you two. it was a subtle attempt to bridge the gap, to draw out the person you once knew.
you had believed that his silence was what you wanted. you had convinced yourself that distancing yourself from him would protect you from the past mistakes. but now, facing the reality of the situation, you realized that perhaps a certain selfishness was ingrained within you. maybe, just maybe, you yearned to erase the distance, to defy your own rationalizations.
in this moment, you found yourself yearning to rekindle what had been lost, to bring back a connection that once meant so much. the conflicting emotions within you painted a complex picture of your desires – a battle between self-preservation and the longing for something more.
however, as you locked eyes with him and saw the lack of any discernible emotion in his gaze, a haunting wave of fear resurfaced within you. in that moment, it was as if time rewound, taking you back to the day of your graduation when your heart and spirit had felt shattered. the memory of that painful experience rushed back, accompanied by the doubts and uncertainties that had plagued you.
if you were to truly confront your own feelings, you'd admit that what you witnessed that night had left you questioning your own worth. the events had stirred up doubts about whether you had ever been deserving of taking risks for, whether you had ever been someone worth fighting for.
"hey, good morning, y/n."
"morning, director."
"how's today treating you?"
"pretty good, thanks."
"hmm, and what's life been like after college?"
"…"
"take your time."
"at first, i felt okay. my friends were all getting closer to their dreams, and i was genuinely happy for them. especially…"
"especially who?"
"especially the person i left behind."
"…"
"i was content being happy for someone else. then another year went by, and i wasn't feeling so great anymore."
"do you really think they're happy?"
"hmm?"
"the person you left behind."
"yeah. and my other friends seem happy too. they've got jobs they love, they're with people they care about, and i only had… renjun *laughs* … but sometimes, i can't help but feel like i'm the one who got left behind, you know? even though i was the one who walked away."
"let's talk about your person."
"oh *laughs* he's not my person."
pausing for a moment, you glanced at jaemin behind the camera. the question lingered in your mind: what was he trying to do? his actions and intentions remained a puzzle.
his expression grew serious, his gaze fixed intently on you. it was as if he had something to convey, something he was holding back.
"the last time i actually saw him was in an instagram post. he was with some girl. it happened on my graduation day. i waited the whole day, hoping he'd appear in the midst of the crowd. when he didn't, i held onto the possibility of seeing him by the gates. but that didn't happen either. my last hope was maybe he'd send me a single message, but by the end of the day, nothing came. then i went on instagram and saw a photo – a warning, i guess. a warning that i should just stop hoping. that… happened a few weeks later, i think. or maybe it was just a few days after our argument, the one where he told me he couldn't love… yeah."
you met his gaze and once again, his face was serious. his eyes were furrowed and his mouth was slightly open. a few moments passed, and he let out a shaky breath. screw it, you thought, it's out there now and i don't care anymore.
your silent exchange was interrupted as he shifted the camera away. confusion clouded your thoughts as you watched him move. he turned back to you, his expression still serious, and then he grabbed a chair from the nearby table. he sat down with his back facing you.
the room felt charged with unspoken emotions, leaving you to question his intentions and actions. it was as if he was peeling away layers, searching for something beneath the surface.
"did you know that…" he began, his voice breaking the silence. "she was his sister?"
"i never told you about her, that's on me," he admitted with a chuckle. "that was her last day, y/n. so i decided to spend the entire day with her. i'm sorry."
you were taken aback. "i'm sorry–"
"it's okay, y/n."
"i know i left you with so many questions that night, but let me tell you… every effort you made, every cookie you baked, i cherished all of it. i loved you. i'm sorry if my actions made you doubt yourself."
another pause filled the air.
"i left when you left."
"you were my dream. architecture wasn't really my passion, you know? i was struggling a lot, but luckily, you were there with me. i decided to chase after what i truly loved when you left, because i realized if i wanted you back in my life, it should be when i'm at my best, right? i wasn't lying when i said i couldn't love. i didn't want to love you when i was broken. i wanted to be the best version of myself for you. i thought that if i wanted you to be with the best person, then that should be me. so i became that person, a director, and then i planned all of this." his eyes finally met yours.
"i was always looking at you."
tears welled up in your eyes, and he seemed to notice. he took a step towards you and enveloped you in his arms.
"i'm sorry for not holding onto you back then, baby. but i promise, i won't let go of you now," he whispered.
"i'm sorry for leaving, jaemin," you sobbed.
"shh, you did what you thought was right."
"do you want to have lunch with me now?" he asked.
a mixture of emotions flooded your heart, and with a nod, you replied, "yes, jaemin."
247 notes · View notes
slytherweasley · 8 months
Note
Can you do a fic where ron gets mad/jealous bc the reader was being friendly with draco and had to show her who she belonged too?
Now you’re forever mine (Ron Weasley x reader)
Being in Slytherin when your boyfriend is a Gryffindor is challenging at times considering your friends and boyfriend don’t get along. You have to seperate your relationships since you can’t hang out altogether or problems will arise. Draco Malfoy is one of your closest friends and more like a brother however Ron doesn’t really trust his intentions despite you telling him there’s nothing happening.
In between classes you meet up with Draco and talk in the hallway. It was so insignificant to you that you can’t even remember specifics of the conversation. However unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend was watching from afar raging with jealousy as he touched your arm or made any excuse to touch you at all and you were full of smiles and laughs.
It wasn’t until you got to your boyfriends empty dorm after school that you noticed his coldness. “Is everything okay, love?” You ask him cuddling up to him but he lays there stiff, which is unlike his usual soft self.
“No” he replies. “What’s wrong? Tell me all about it” “I can’t deal with that slimy git, he’s all over you” “me? Who are we talking about?” You question. “Malfoy” you sigh in response. You’d been over this millions of times but you always were there to assure him that you were his.
Ron gets up and starts pacing the room “you don’t know how mad I was looking at his stupid grin and watching you giggle at him. That should be me, you shouldn’t be laughing with some other guy. Only me.” You felt your heartbeat speed up, you weren’t scared or upset you were so incredibly turned on by Ron’s jealousy and anger.
As he paced back and forth getting upset you just laid there looking at him. “Are you listening to me? I’m fucking upset. I’m mad.” “I’m certainly listening and watching” “what does that mean?” “It just means this could all be solved by fucking me right here, doing what Draco could never because I’m yours and you’d never let him get the chance.”
You could see the millions of thoughts running through his head and how his eyes light up in anger thinking about Draco. You press your lips to his not letting him waste another second. His hands secure your waist and he lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his torso.
The heat between you is intense you are both so eager to get naked. Ron’s practically ripping your clothes off, he puts you on the bed undressing you, not letting you move a muscle. Once you’re down to your underwear he takes his shirt off and gets on top of you kissing down your body. He removes your bra first sucking and biting on your nipples.
You become impatient and start grinding up against him, he takes the hint and pulls your underwear off throwing them away. He spreads your legs and kisses up your thighs sucking a hickey on your inner thigh. His tongue dives into your folds and his lips make its way to your clit as he does everything possible to make you scream for him.
You throw your head back and grab a fistful of his hair as you arch your back and your hips grind on his mouth. “Please, I’m so fucking close” you screw your eyes shut and let your moans out as you orgasm.
Ron wastes no time as he stars undoing his pants as you’re trying your best to recover from your orgasm while watching your boyfriend undress in front of you. “Bet Malfoy couldn’t make a girl cum let alone you” he mumbles angrily “never” you assure him. His cock is hard and you’re so ready for him.
“Tell me what you want” he says looking down at you “you, Ron, only you.” “What do you want from me, Sweetheart?” He mocks “I need your cock. Inside. Inside me, please” you beg. He lines his cock up with your entrance “right here?” “Yes” you yell desperately “please” you add. “Can you take it? Maybe Malfoy can help you” “no, no. Never. Just you” You say breathlessly.
He pushes himself into you groaning, making you shiver. Your mouth opens wide and your eyes instinctively close, it’s so good nothing is coming out of your mouth. “Look at me” he snaps, he grabs your jaw and pulls your head to look at him, you open your eyes and look at him in awe. “You want me to move?” “Yes please, Ron.”
He slides in and out slowly and abruptly picks up the pace, grunting and groaning in your ear. All you can hear is your skin slapping together and his anger filled groans. You can’t stop yelling his name and you already feel your stomach coil, you squeeze around him trying your hardest not to cum. “Fuck, you’re squeezing me so fucking tight” “im so close” you let out. “You can wait” he says.
You try so hard not to cum “Oh Ron please” you beg “Wait until I say” he says. You throw your head back and wait it out but you’re struggling. “Now” he says and brings your face up to his as you both cum. He doesn’t pull out “now you’re forever mine.”
222 notes · View notes
rosesloveletters · 4 months
Text
violets in the snow.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing: 1971 Willy Wonka x Reader
Word Count: 2,733
Warnings: no major content warnings apply.
Summary: It's Christmas Eve and Reader allows Wonka to open one present early.
Author's Note: I know Gene was Jewish, even though I believe he said he wasn't exactly religious. I have no intention of trying to be offensive/belittle/make light of anyone's religion or beliefs and I apologize if it comes across that way because it is without a doubt not my intention. I simply wrote this as a Christmas fic because that's the holiday I celebrate and I wanted to write reader giving Wonka a sweet gift.  
Edited.
divider created by @/saradika on Tumblr.
Tumblr media
Winter winds blustered across the barren landscape beyond the sprawling complex of Wonka Industries. Inside, temperatures were comfortable, but the distant crackling of the fireplace and the holiday decorations you had put up in your shared living space reminded you that the heart of December was far from being thawed. 
It was Christmas eve and you were right where you belonged: snuggled up to your lover’s chest, burrowed beneath a soft knitted blanket of plush purple plum yarn. 
You and Wonka had sipped several mugs of cocoa throughout the evening, keeping yourselves in the festive spirit while also keeping warm and taste-testing a batch of hot chocolate with a brand-new twist that he planned to debut next month.  
Its warming properties had already worked their magic. 
Your outer extremities, fingers and toes which were almost always cold were now warm to the touch and kept you comfortable instead of shivering and feeling lethargic. Wonka’s new hot cocoa worked specifically for people whose blood circulation needed a bit of a boost, especially during the winter. Even if your body typically ran hot, this new hot chocolate benefitted most everyone when the weather turned brutally cold.  
He had been hard at work this season, creating new treats to unveil for the holidays while expediting production for maximum return. He never sacrificed the quality of his confections, however, as he would only promise to deliver the best of the best for his devoted customers across the globe. 
However, Wonka only had to please one heart this Christmas and all his efforts would be worthwhile. 
You did not expect or demand anything of your lover, other than his simple presence in the quaint little life he’d built for you both. You didn’t need gifts or candies or sweets, you needed his sweet mouth to whisper verses into your ear and the gift of his gracefulness as he swept you into his arms and cradled you to his body. 
You wanted presence of mind, not tangible presents. You wanted memories for you and him to hold on to, laughter to warm you on long, winter nights and hours of conversation to carry you through till dawn. 
Wonka could give you that and decided he would stop at nothing to please you in every way he knew how. He would pull out every tool in his arsenal, every scrap of wit on his tongue, fire in his belly, thought in his head and love in his heart to make this most wonderful time of the year more memorable than any you had lived before to date. He had held a heart or two in his time, but yours was worth holding onto. He wanted you to know that you were special beyond words and so he poured his love into you like the waterfall which churned the great chocolate river in his beloved chocolate room. 
You wanted to taste the caramel threads in his blue eyes, to bite his licorice heartstrings and devour his chocolate heart already melted from the warmth of your love. He was the only one you wanted this Christmas, your shimmering sugar rush that set your veins on fire and filled you with energy, motivation and desire. 
You loved everything about him, from his creativity to the unapologetic sincerity of his character. 
Wonka did not let you forget that he was a force to be reckoned with because he set out to teach lessons, give advice and guidance, but there was a side of him that no one knew quite like you did. Even if you questioned him or tried to make sense of it, he found little ways of surprising you without giving you a hint. You could not expect this man to divulge a lifetime of secrets to you in such a short time, yet you dreamed of what the inside of his mind looked like and hoped with all hope that those thoughts in his head were kind. 
There was a lot you knew about Willy Wonka, but far more that you didn’t. That was the fun of him, really, to not know what you were getting into, however, if Wonka guaranteed you one thing, that was consistency.
Nothing about the man ever changed, though his lack of a routine was somewhat maddening, you could count on his actions towards you to remain unchanged. You were careful when entering any relationship, platonic or romantic, because you sustained a permanent soul tremor from plunging through thin ice when you should have tread more carefully. 
Willy treated you the same, on good days and bad; he loved you more than anyone ever had. 
He gave so much and you decided it was high time to repay the favor. 
You got off the couch, extracted yourself from the warmth pocket you had settled into over the course of the evening and walked to the tree you had insisted he help you put up and decorate. He didn’t make a fuss when you asked him to help you decorate the living space; he was pleased that you wanted to bring a little sparkle that he normally would not have created for himself. He was far too busy to fuss over decorations when his candy sales shot through the roof every holiday season, but he made time this year because it was important to you and therefore it was important to him, too. After all, it felt homier to have decorations and he felt much more festive each day when he would look at them. The Christmas spirit was alive in his heart and he owed it more to you than to any mere decoration.
His eyes followed your movement, twin blue flames which had escaped from the fireplace and burned brightly within him instead. He watched as you selected a very specific present from beneath the tree, a flat rectangular box covered in festive wrapping paper and topped with a bright red bow. Wonka raised an eyebrow as you brought it over to him and held it out for him to take. 
He peered at you questioningly as you offered him the gift box, “what’s this for, my dear?”
“Just take it!” you laughed and he finally did, his fingers delicately wrapping around the box as he placed it on his lap. He looked at it for a moment as if he couldn’t believe that any of those presents under the tree were for him.
Who else would they be for?
Wonka looked up at you with a delighted smile on his face, “you know, I thought we were supposed to wait until morning.”
“I know, I know,” you replied, “but whenever I was little, I used to get so excited to open my presents that my parents would let me open one gift on Christmas eve.”
“Ah,” Wonka smiled fondly at your anecdote and nodded in understanding as he glanced down at the present in his lap, “so this one…you’re wanting me to open it now?”
You nodded as you pulled your legs up onto the couch and tucked them under yourself as you sat up a little straighter to watch him open the gift. 
This was your first time sharing Christmas traditions with Wonka; you wanted to share everything with him, and you decided you would start with what was closest to your heart. The season of giving meant tearing off a piece of your soul and pressing it into the folds of a love letter penned for the man who had made you feel whole again. You wanted to dedicate every day to him, not just special ones because when you were with Wonka, every day was special in its own unique way. 
You watched with bated breath as Wonka gently lifted the wrapping paper from where you’d taped up the end. He ever so carefully peeled back the folded edge, then cheekily tore into it like he were an excited child on Christmas morning. You watched him fondly, wishing to reach out and touch him, to brush his strawberry blonde curls out of his face, but you knew that would ruin the moment. Instead, you merely watched him open the present, eager to get to the inside and see what it was that you simply could not wait to give him until the morning. 
“Hm, let’s see here…” Wonka hummed to himself as he flipped the now unwrapped box over. It was clear that this was a shirt box, although that gave away little information as to what kind of shirt it was. 
Willy began to peel back several pieces of tape where you’d secured the box before wrapping it. 
“I hope you like it,” you whispered, uncertain what his reaction was going to be when he saw what you’d gotten for him, “if not, I’m sure I could return it.”
“Nonsense, my dear,” Willy looked up at you, his blue gaze was one of reassurance, “I’m certain that I will love it.”
Not as much as you, my dear.
Willy removed the rest of the tape from the box and flipped it over, then lifted the top. Inside was several layers of red tissue paper to conceal the gift and Willy sifted through to find what you had hidden inside the packaging for him. He brushed the paper to the side and his fingers brushed fabric. He was intrigued; the material was unlike anything in his current wardrobe. 
He lifted it out of the box, the piece of fabric unfolding as he did so and he held it up. 
It was a gorgeous, rich plum color that matched his coat, except this article of clothing was a sweater. It appeared to be handmade with thick yarn, perfect for colder weather, and was soft to the touch like crushed velvet. He admired the sweater and his hands caressed the sleeves, appreciating the finer details: the curved neckline and fitted hem and cuffs as well as the oversized fit which would hang loosely off his broad frame – you had sized it impeccably to fit his body type and preference. 
“You always wear the same thing, not that I’m implying it as a bad thing, but I thought you might want to switch it up from time to time,” you tried to explain, “so I had the idea of getting you a sweater because I thought it might be warmer and I picked the color to match your coat. I wasn’t sure if you would like it, but I can always find you something else, if you-”
He cut you off midsentence and you blushed as you realized how much you had been rambling; His speaking voice took on the gentlest tone you had ever heard, “I love it. Thank you, my dear.”
You were about to insist that he didn’t have to lie to you, but the words died on your tongue as you watched him slide his arms into the sweater and pull it on over his head. When his head popped out from the neckline, you nearly giggled at his frizzy, wild hair which was mussed from pulling the material over his head. There was no controlling it; his hair was unmanageable on a good day and besides, it was the last thing on his mind currently. 
He was too busy admiring the sweater you had gifted him, his round, rosy cheeks bulged at the edges of a smile, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes becoming more prominent as he squinted in delight. To say he was pleased was an understatement. Wonka appreciated all gifts he was given because he was always grateful and honored to be worthy of someone wanting to bestow a gift upon him, but this was something of great wonder. You had chosen this gift because it had reminded you of him, at least, the color had done. 
Judging by his sweater paws, you had chosen the right size. Wonka liked oversized outer vestments and this was the perfect touch; he looked precious in it, swimming in the warm wool that enveloped his body in warmth and comfort like a big hug. 
“It looks even better on you than I thought it would,” you complimented him, giving him a satisfied smile as he looked over at you with love in his eyes, “I’m happy that you like it.”
“I love it,” he repeated, resisting the urge to hug himself as he deliberately snuggled into the sweater for emphasis, “and I think it’ll see a lot of wear this winter, if it’s going to be as cold as is being predicted.” 
You nodded. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, he looked so sweet in the sweater, his eyes lit up with excitement and his hands still appreciating the incredibly soft fabric. Wonka’s mannerisms were like that of a small child, despite his age; he was ecstatic over being given a present and offered you many more thanks as you sat beside him on the sofa. 
He leaned over and scooped you into a full-bodied hug where you almost ended up on his lap because he was so eager to hold you against him. You let out a sweet bout of laughter and kissed his warm cheek, making him coo and nuzzle against your neck a little bit.
“I love you, my dear,” he whispered in your ear, “thank you for this, truly.”
“You’re welcome, Willy. You deserve it.”
You deserve the entire world and I’d give it to you in a heartbeat if it were mine to give. 
You didn’t say those words, but even never voiced, he knew. He could see the sentiment reflected in the depths of your eyes, which was perhaps why he lost himself in them so often. The echoes of words you never said reverberated against the walls of his heart and he could feel them bludgeoning the inside of his ribcage with a barrage of activity the likes of which his cardiovascular system had never endured before. It was comparable to butterflies taking flight in his stomach, except this didn’t make him feel like he might spill his guts.
Instead, his heart swelled with affection, he viewed the world in colors you had taught him to see and he lived life with new purpose. His dreams held meaning and he finally understood what it was all for. Perhaps it was the magic of the holidays that permeated the air and embedded in his bones, but he was content to live the rest of his life like this. He felt as though he was seeing for the very first time, kissing you was the first sip of water taken after being dehydrated, his grip on you stronger than gravity. 
You were who his heart belonged to and if his heart were an apartment, you had rented the biggest room. 
He was violently delighted by the promise of the new year and what was to come for the two of you, but for now, he was content to succumb to his need for peace, quiet and relaxation amid his company’s busiest season. You offered him reprieve from the bustle of the holidays and he would sink into the refreshing haze, allowing himself to be swept away by you and the love you both had to give. 
You would take this moment, just for the two of you, seizing it and holding it in the palm of your hand. You would never let go, of him, of this holiday, of your love. It meant far too much to you now, having finally learnt why you spent your whole life trying to put into words how a moment like this might feel. 
Now, you knew. 
You did not have to try, you only had to feel. 
When anyone asked you what your favorite color was, you got vulnerable because your skin was berry-stained, your bruised heart abused by the love it was forced to feel now that you ached for the cookie-cutter metal stars to punch holes through your lungs so you could breathe him in more strongly. 
He was all over you and you clung to him like the most resilient flowers in winter, like violets in the snow. 
“Now, darling,” Wonka began, hands on his knees as he hoisted himself off the couch and approached the hoard of gifts beneath your tree, “I do believe there’s something under here for you…”
77 notes · View notes
eddiebabygirldiaz · 8 months
Text
WIP Wednesday
tagged by @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz @lover-of-mine @giddyupbuck @bekkachaos @forthewolves @rewritetheending @wildlife4life @monsterrae1 @messyhairdiaz @spaceprincessem @jeeyuns @rogerzsteven @ladydorian05
thank you my loves! 💖
i am having a really great time putting eddie through it in my 5+1 calls fic so have a taste
Eddie chuckles and braces one hand on the back of Chris’ head as he leans down to bury a kiss in Chris’ curls which smell like citrus and sweat and boy, a youth permeating from him that is so sweet and precious, conjuring images of grassy fields warmed by the Texas sun and rippling rivers and Eddie running with a laughing girl beside him.
It’s a youth he hopes never fades, a youth he has witnessed in Buck, clutched delicately between large, fragile hands, fluttering and glowing and transparent, so Eddie knows it is something that can endure and by god Eddie will do everything in his power to make sure it does in his son.
“I’m glad you're home,” Chris mumbles into his shirt, rubbing his head back and forth across the fabric in a cute little nuzzle.
A sharp pang echoes throughout Eddie, rolling around in between his bones, clanging like some kind of warning bell. He wonders if Chris still remembers or thinks about the days and nights when Eddie coming home wasn’t even a possibility, when he never even considered waiting or looking forward to his father walking through the door because he knew it wouldn’t happen.
Tears rise up into his throat, forcing it to close tight around the wild pressure of them. But they don’t swell in his eyes. It’s been a long time since that happened, since his tears started and ended in the place belong. His tears always begin in the pit of his stomach, pulled from the very core of him where he tries to keep them buried, yanked up by a rough fist that is shaped and scarred like his own, weaving between bruised flesh and cracked bone until the tears become lodged in his throat and he has to make the decision to let them go, to let them complete their journey and fall from his eyes, or swallow them back down into the pit he designed specifically for them.
Eddie swallows them.
“Glad to be home,” Eddie responds, words roughened by the scrape of tears they have to rake across in order to get out of his mouth. He pokes at Chris’ side to make him giggle, the sound so much more beautiful and cherished and sweeter than any that Eddie could release, and its flavor disintegrates his tears enough that the invisible, unmeasurable particles they are composed of go down easily.
tagging: @elvensorceress @shortsighted-owl @hippolotamus @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @anxieteandbiscuits @bucks118 @diazblunt @butchdiaz @shitouttabuck @fiona-fififi @loserdiaz @buddierights @cowboy-buck @cowboy-buddie @bvckandeddie @buck2eddie @try-set-me-on-fire @wh0re-behavi0r @diazass @paranoidbean @folk-fae @fleurdebeton @sibylsleaves @gayedmundodiaz @heartshapedvows @spotsandsocks @transbuck @watchyourbuck @eddiediaztho @king-buckley @transboybuckley @thewolvesof1998 @eowon and anyone else who wants to share!
78 notes · View notes
planetpiastri · 1 year
Note
congrats on returning to fic writing hehe! 💝 would u be able to do bouquet or pda from the valentines prompt list for fanboy? i love the way u write him
thank u anon!! i went with bouquet for this one bc i couldn't get one specific image out of my head lol. this was a lot of fun to write hope u enjoy! | [wc - 1.2k] | join my prompt party!
Tumblr media
It wasn’t like Mickey to be late. I mean, with things like family brunches, or dinners, or group parties, yeah, sure, he wasn’t the most punctual. But with you it was different. With you, he was always right on time. No matter what.
But here it was, Valentine’s Day, and you were alone in your apartment, and he was late.
You knew that today was busy for him. He’d had brunch with his sisters, and then dinner with his parents across town, and after that he hadn’t been able to get out of going for a few beers with Hangman and the guys, but he’d promised to come over at nine o’clock on the dot. You guys didn’t even have anything particularly extravagant planned; probably just watching a movie and…well….
Anyways, it was nearly nine-fifteen now, and he was nowhere to be seen. An outgoing message sat in your thread, lonely and unread: Are you on your way? 
There was a heart-shaped box of chocolates open on the coffee table. There were chocolate-covered strawberries cooling in the fridge. You’d lit a couple candles. A stuffed teddy bear you intended to give to Mickey was sitting on the sofa next to you. She’s All That was queued up on the tv. Everything was ready. There was just one thing missing.
You checked your phone again even though it hadn’t buzzed. Still nothing.
It wasn’t like Mickey to be late.
As the clock ticked closer and closer towards nine-thirty, you contemplated calling him, decided against it, contemplated calling Natasha, decided against it, contemplated calling Hangman, and ultimately decided you just wanted to call it a night and be alone. You’d hear whatever apology Mickey had in the morning. Right now, you just wanted to go to bed.
You turned off the tv and blew out the candles, and just as you were moving to put the lid back on the chocolates, there was a pounding at your door so loud that you jumped.
You rushed to the foyer and yanked open the front door, an irritated admonishment prepared on your lips, but it fell away as soon as you saw who was there.
Mickey was standing in a nice jacket and jeans, his hands on his knees, gasping for breath. He was panting like he’d just ran a marathon, and when you stuck your head farther out the door, you couldn’t see his car parked anywhere in the driveway or on the street.
“Mickey? What—?” you started to say, but then he straightened up and your voice trailed away once more.
“I’m…sorry…” He wheezed. “Hangman…stole…keys…wouldn’t let…me leave…. Ran…all the way…here…. I’m so sorry….”
And in his hand was a cluster of flowers that you recognized as belonging to your neighbor at the end of the street. They were wilted from his run, some snapped in the middle, but the sight of them nearly brought tears to your eyes. 
He looked at them, realized what poor shape they were in, and his face fell. “Oh no,” he sighed. “I wanted to—oof.”
You flung yourself into his arms, holding him close. He was warm from his run, and his chest was still heaving, but he was here. After a moment, you felt him toss the flowers down and wrap his arms around you, cradling you tightly against his chest.
“I thought you forgot,” you admitted quietly.
“Are you kidding?” he asked, his breath finally coming back. “This is all I’ve looked forward to all day.”
You stepped back, shoving his shoulder gently. “Why didn’t you call me when you knew you were gonna be late?”
Mickey blinked dumbly at you like a deer in headlights, and then his lips quirked sideways in an embarrassed smile. “Because…I’m an idiot? And I forgot? And was just focused on running as fast as I could?”
A laugh bubbled out of your chest of its own volition, and as Mickey smiled sheepishly, you grabbed his face in your hands and kissed him deeply. He made a soft, contented noise in the back of his throat, and his hands splayed across your spine, pulling you closer to him. One of your hands threaded through his close-cropped hair, holding his head in place as your mouths moved together, and you arched forward so that your chests were touching from shoulder to sternum.
He tilted his head and groaned, and your mouth fell open for him. One of his hands tightened at your waist, and the relief and affection you felt for him combined into something heady and intense, replacing every anxiety you had with insatiable want. 
You staggered backwards, pulling him with you into the house. He made a soft, surprised noise and broke away, saying, "But the flowers—"
"We'll get another bouquet later," you said, shutting the door. As soon as you did, his mouth was back on yours and his hands were tracing your sides, pressing you gently against the door.
You shoved his shoulders, pushing him deeper into the house without breaking contact. As the two of you careened off the walls and stumbled deeper into the living room, Mickey pulled away to glance around the room and catch his breath. He was already winded, but his eyes were bright and he was smiling as he panted, "Oh, hey, you decorated—”
You kissed him again, swallowing his words, and continued moving across the rug, pulling him by his shirt. He laughed against your lips, fumbling with his coat. When your legs hit the back of the sofa, you tumbled backwards onto the cushions, breaking away long enough for Mickey to finish taking off his jacket. 
You scooted back, giving him room to join you, and moved the teddy bear gingerly onto the table. Mickey’s eyes followed the movement, and he said, “Aw, is that for me?”
“Would you get down here?” you demanded, fighting back a laugh.
“Hold on, hold on, I haven’t taken my shoes off,” he protested, fumbling with the laces.
“Mickey,” you said, your voice stern.
He stood up and gestured around the room. “You set all this up! We had a nice evening planned. What about the movie?”
“Mickey,” you said slowly, leaning forward and enunciating clearly, “forget—the—movie.”
“Oh,” he said, his eyebrows lifting. And then, again: “Ohh.”
“Yes,” you said with a nod, grinning. “Oh.”
He leaned down and kissed you softly, his hand cradling the back of your head, but just as you reached up for the hem of his shirt, he pulled away again. You fought the urge to sigh heavily as he said, “I just ran, like, thirteen blocks. I’m gonna go clean up real quick, but then I promise—we’ll do Valentine’s right. I’ll make it up to you.”
He started down the hall towards the bathroom, already undoing the buttons of his shirt.
“Okay,” you said, dramatically falling back on the couch and watching him go. “I’ve waited this long. I can wait a little longer. I’ll just find some way to entertain myself.”
Mickey froze and turned to you, his hands stilling halfway through the buttons. When he saw the teasing smile on your face, he pointed an accusatory finger at you and said, “Thirty seconds. Time me.” Then he turned and ran into the hall, skidding into the bathroom and out of sight.
You threw your head back and laughed at his antics, reaching for the remote again as the faucet turned on. As you got comfortable on the sofa and waited for him to come back out, you thought of the flowers on the front stoop. 
It wasn’t like Mickey to be late, but he always found some way to make it up to you.
110 notes · View notes
altschmerzes · 7 months
Note
🌹any bit of angsty comfort from the torture fic?
oh you know it!! thank you i'm excited to share some of this :)
got uh. got A LOT of that coming up, so here's a section from shortly after they've been allowed to take mac home from medical. it's a long fic so this is gonna be a bit of a long clip sldfkj, enjoy!! gonna put it under a cut bc of, well, It Is From The Torture Fic, though he's home and nothing further bad is like. actively happening to him.
specific content warnings: a Lot of references to murdoc pulling mac's hair and the whole Pliers Situation from part 1. (also a generalized like... sense of shame and having been somehow Ruined by what happened to him.)
--
Jack is sitting there on the couch with him and has been since they got home, paying only nominally more attention to whatever is happening on the screen than Mac is. Most of his attention is on Mac himself, even though his eyes are on the movie. He’s got a hand on Mac’s head moving his fingers through Mac’s hair in slow strokes. The callouses on his fingertips brush Mac’s temple when he reaches the ends and starts over again.
It’s gentle and affectionate, the sort of thing that, on a good day, might make Mac blush and look away while he privately stowed the memory somewhere he’d always be able to retrieve it whenever he got to wondering if anyone had ever really loved him at all. That’s how it makes him feel when Jack touches him like this - loved. Safe, and important, and loved. Like he’s someone’s family. Someone’s son, he might even dare to allow himself to imagine sometimes.
Right now, though, it doesn’t feel like it usually does. Right now, Mac is fighting against a simmering panic that’s threatening to grow too large to tolerate the longer it continues. He knows that it’s Jack sitting beside him, knows who the hand on his head belongs to and even further knows that person is someone who would quite literally die before intentionally harming him.
Even so, the fear is strong and thick, taking over everything else until it’s all that’s left. Nausea stirs in his gut and dread hammers at the inside of his skull until Mac is certain that any moment the gentle stroking is going to turn into a vicious grip, yanking on his hair to twist his head back and around, wherever his captor wants him, because his body doesn’t belong to him and there’s nothing he can do to stop-
“Please don’t pull it,” he manages in a faint, nearly inaudible whisper when the vortex of anxious anticipation grew too strong to fight any longer and the only other option was lashing out in a desperate bid to get the man touching him to stop. The hand on his head goes very still, and Mac’s chest feels like it’s cracking into pieces. He closes his eyes and feels the hot trickle of a few tears coursing down the side of his face.
“What?” The question comes after a long beat of silence, and then Jack pulls away entirely. His hand leaves Mac’s head and Mac grieves acutely for its loss. A few more tears make it out through his squeezed-shut eyelids despite his efforts to stifle them. “Do you- Should I stop? If this is uncomfortable for you- if anything I ever do is uncomfortable for you, if it’s freaking you out, then I don’t have to-”
“No!” Mac doesn’t know where he gets the strength to say it, except that he feels like the alternative would be so much worse. “I mean, no, you don’t… You don’t have to stop, just- Don’t pull on it. Please.” The tone on please is practically begging, so close to the way he’d begged Murdoc to stop hurting him when he’d cracked and been unable to help himself, and Mac feels so ashamed of himself he might drown in it. Murdoc had laughed when he’d broken and started to plead, and it hadn’t even brought him any relief. If anything, the pliers had clamped down tighter, a thought that makes his side pulse in remembered agony.
You're not there, he tells himself, and tries to believe it. You're not there. You're with Jack and you're safe. He wouldn't do that to you.
“Okay,” is the response when it finally comes, delivered in a thick voice after a few moments of heavy silence. “I promise. I swear on my daddy’s grave, kid, I will not- I will never pull your hair.” The last part of the oath wavers, like maybe Jack was somewhere near being about to cry himself, and Mac’s throat throbs in a way that’s unrelated to the deep bruises ringing it.
So long passes with only the sound of the movie for Mac to pick up on, eyes still closed and face still turned nearly into the back of the couch, that he begins to feel strangely alone. He wishes he hadn’t said anything at all because the fear of his hair being suddenly and cruelly yanked is better than this. He would take that over the detached cold of feeling like he’s been split open and ruined so thoroughly that nobody could bear to let their skin come into contact with his when reminded of it. And then, just when he was halfway convinced that it never would, the touch returns. It’s even gentler than before and Mac’s chest hitches with something that might have been a sob of relief if it had the energy to be anything more than a slightly jagged breath. The hand brushes through his hair a few times, then Jack flattens it to the top of Mac’s head, his thumb stroking Mac’s temple.
17 notes · View notes
andiitom · 2 years
Note
I just read your Ramshackle fics?? Heascanons?? For Twisted Wonderland and oh my gods I am invested. All I can imagine is MC, livid and in tears, storming their way through campus to the headmaster’s office (where maybe a prefect meeting was about to start, like they were waiting on MC or something) and MC is pissed. Throwing a diary at the headmaster, cursing him out, claiming he killed them (the previous ramshackle students). Of course everyone is like “wtff 👀” staring at each other before MC takes another diary out of their bag and begins to read the entries (specifically about how they barely have any money for food and such, and that one kid who started the school year with a round healthy face is now very pale and thin). I’m sorry I can’t. Like it never crossed my mind that those graves could belong to previous students and the fact that it’s “covered up” especially in your story. I can also just imagine MC cleaning the gravestones afterwards like you said and the rest of the students checking up on MC. And like how would they react to all the diaries ending on the same date (especially if it’s fast approaching??). But like how would they other students react to the things MC discovered about the Ramshackle dorm in general.
But anyway, I love this. I love your story. It got my brain going, my brain thinking. Take you time, sweetie, but holy fuck I need more. Like shit this is so good!! Like I want to know more. I really want to know more. I can just see Ace, Deuce, Grim, and MC just going on little adventures uncovering the secrets of Ramshackle dorm, like holy shit. What if they found a journal about another student like MC, as in magic-less and essentially coming from a different world/dimension. Keep up the good work sweetie, my mind is completely blown.
A/N: sorry bestie I start rambling towards the end let me know of any Grammer or spelling errors!
If you want more of my ramshackle/other dorms hc or have any of your own I'm just and ask away ♡
CW: mentions of bullying and death!
Tumblr media
I am so glad you loved it, bestie! And oh yes, I've come up with so much ramshackle brain rot and the whole there was another MC tidbit, I'll go into that with my own Mc, but I don't want to spoil anything. 
I have it all but its all unorganized in a Google doc But here is a little snippet: 
Crowley turns a blind eye to most things, especially when money and more acclaimed are involved. What's the cost of a few nobodys who can't do magic disappearing? They're just ghosts.. shadows, a blink and they're gone. Only a few remember those faceless, nameless students, and the memories they do have are of them being pushed down stairs or being forced to dance in hot iron shoes. Many of the NRC alumni have fond memories of being sorted into their dorms, making new friends, skipping classes to take a dip in the lake.
Sadly, for the students unlucky enough to be sorted into that dorm overlooking the hill, it was a death sentence. In the past, the dorm residents just dropped out after the first few months, not even making it to the first exams. However, enough stayed one year to warn teach the incoming first years. Most of the teachers were there for the check, and only a few cared about their students. For the ones who cared, seeing the life drain from some of the brightest minds they've seen was gut-wrenching. There was nothing they could do. Crowley turned his back as he counted his money, and all they could do was the same.
Tumblr media
I absolutely love it when Disney let's Yana make the twst world dark, even if it's just little sprinkles. Like the gem mines and the two OB dwarfs, or what Leona went through back in the afterglow. I have a lot of stuff that I've written that I don't post much of because I let the intrusive thoughts win and shit gets dark quick. It's the implications of how TWISTED everything is, gets me going. 
The ghosts don't remember a lot of their previous lives, but they feel a calling. So maybe doing that calling would help them remember so they can move on. They're not working because Crowley can cheap out; they're working because it's where they feel the safest. The librarian ghosts are there because, in some long forgotten past, they remember hiding away in the deepest parts of the library. 
I like to play that the whole house is alive trope, but not in the way Casita is, but the way the house from Monster House is. Ramshackle is aware of everything and it's letting Mc solve the mystery of its forgotten past.
Tumblr media
Mc didn't need to read the rest of the diaries to know how things went for the other students. They only needed to read one. While flipping through the pages, they noticed dark splotches littered the later entries. They thought it was just a way to censor the lives this school ruined, as the stain always covered the date or a name. 
The log books weren't any better. Mc took note of how every few months the penmanship would change. Neat and flowing cursive to thoughtless and stiff chicken scratch, either the writer would change or they were reading someone else's devolve into insanity. 
Day 45-
We were given our monthly budget … only 300 modals to split between 20 students. I asked the Headmaster if he could increase our amount but all he said he was stretched thin with the building of the new calaseam everyone's budget would be low for the coming months.
Day 49-
I asked around the other leaders and they said their budget had been the same… each of them getting around 3,000,000 modal.. That is 5 times the amount we get. We can only buy bread with the amount we're given.
Then at some point the log book changed from budgeting and general grievance to count how many students they'd lose.
Day 112-
I watched as two of my first years walked into the woods with five Scarabia third years following close behind. only the third years came out.. 18 students remain.
Day 195-
I sent two of my dorm members to collect papers from whoever is the current Savanaclaw dorm leader. It was a mistake as it's been three days and they have yet to return. 14 students remain. 
Tumblr media
Those are some of the things of note that I wrote for Ramshackle Lore. Tho the one thing I disagree with is Crowley part bestie... Sure, Crowley can be an ass, but he's shown that he cares about his students. Like during Chap 2, he could have ignored the students getting injured, but he didn't, so he went to the person he trusted the most to solve the case. Crowley knows that if he goes around asking questions, the students will get scared because if the Headmaster is calling the students getting injured into question, that means something bad is happening. Word got back to Leona that he would have to lay low, throwing his entire plan into the fire. So, by getting a student to do the questioning, the culprit would be caught. He also disregards leona's title and reprmands him for his dirty tricks.
I believe the previous headmaster(s) turned a blind eye to the treatment of previous ramshackle students. But it would be a great scene..
An angry Mc bursting into his office during a dorm leader meeting throwing a book at him while spewing vitriol at Crowley because, for all they know, he's been the headmaster. They blam him for the deaths of the students. He knew what was happening and he looked away, and he's going to do the same to them. Crowley shuffles through some of the pages. He can see why Mc would assume the worst. While waiting for them to calm down, he will explains himself.
Ramshackle had long abandoned when he became headmaster. It wasn't like he also wanted to know the history of the decaying dorm. Why do you think he meets with the ramshackle ghosts? Every time he thinks he's getting close to the truth, fifty more mysteries appear. It's all just a misunderstanding. He knows he can be irresponsible and let money blind him. Anyone would do that, but he'd never go as far as to let students hurt others just for the hell of it.
Tumblr media
265 notes · View notes
anxiescape · 10 months
Note
Hello! Hope you are having a good day!
I'd like to ask how you came up with Space Macaque in your Stargaze fic?
I am having a good day, thank you! 😊
As for how I came up with Space Macaque... I have been waiting for someone to ask this question. 😈 (this is a long explanation, so buckle in.)
There are two main reasons that I came up with the idea.
1: The Shadowplay episode (obviously). He refers to himself as the moon, and I was like "OwO? I can work with this :3"
2: Specifically, this scene from the first Macaque episode.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I noticed how the little bits of debris were floating around him (even after the initial explosion he caused), and I was like, "huh, kinda like asteroids and moons around a planet, due to the planet's gravitational pull. Interesting." And then I noticed that he's just, like, really at ease and in his element just floating in the air while he mocks MK, all the while blatantly ignoring the laws of gravity.
I wondered if floating was one of his powers (since it doesn't really show up again in the show), and then I was like, "what if it is one of his powers?"
Being the big space nerd that I am (I actually have quite a few space-themed OCs), I set to work designing Moon!Macaque. I actually incorporated a lot of his canonical design into his powers and found ways to tie them into space-related things. I also gave him some extra little powers, such as the random fact that he always knows what phase the moon is in, regardless of the fact it's daytime or cloudy, and he can "see" anything that is within the moon's light (that's a hard one to explain, but if you're confused lemme know and I'll try to). Another random tidbit about him is he is stronger at night, and especially during a full moon.
His umbrakinesis (shadow manipulation) comes from the the fact that the moon is covered in shadows (y'know, the dark side of the moon). Since he hatched from a meteorite that originated on the moon (I decided since Wukong hatched from a rock, it would be neat for them to be born in similar ways—who knows how celestial monkeys are created?), it makes sense he'd have some sort of control over things pertaining to said moon. That's also why he can float, like one can on the moon due to its low gravity. He can also make small objects around him float if he focuses.
As for his super hearing, I dunno. I just think it's kind of funny that a creature from space, where there is no sound (okay there's technically sound in space but uggh that's a long explanation), has such sensitive hearing.
And then there's the physical aspects of his design. Black fur = the night sky. So I added stars to his fur because I could and they're cute. :3 His red mask is tied to the blood moon, which is when the moon falls within the darkest part of the Earth's shadow during a lunar eclipse, thus causing it to appear with a red tint. Gold eyes = stars. They glow in the dark as well, like stars do. His ears glow white like the moon (though I do like the idea of him having multi-colored ears).
Another random fact about him is that he smells like raspberries, due to the presence of ethyl formate in deep space. Ethyl formate gives raspberries their flavor, thus making him smell like raspberries.
(Also, his blood tastes like raspberries, and has some very interesting attributes, but that will be brought up later in Stargaze. It causes... issues, to say the least. 😬)
And, last but not least... I wanted to interpret the term "celestial monkey" a little more literally. Instead of celestial as in "relating or belonging to Heaven", I chose the definition of celestial as in "positioned in or relating to the sky, or outer space as observed in astronomy." And so, Moon!Macaque was born. :)
Aaannd I hope I covered everything (that I can share at this point in time, anyway). I have been working on a character reference sheet for Moon!Macaque, but it won't be coming out for a bit because my computer keeps trying to overheat and I can only work on digital art a little bit at a time. 😩
In the meantime (and if you made it this far), enjoy this cute little sneak peek of Liu'er in his moon-themed hanfu that Wukong had specially made for him (and Ma, in her adorable pink hanfu—you get a cookie if you recognize it 🙃 (hint: it's in one of my other Stargaze-related drawings on my page)).
Tumblr media
24 notes · View notes
pigeonwit · 9 months
Note
hiii what r your favorite javey fics asking for a friend xx
[bursts through the wall like the dreamies cat] did someone say javey
here is the first post i made on this - that list was specifically longer fics, so i'll go with shorter ones for this one :) and remember that i do not understand social interactions and rules and etc etc so i dont wanna tag anyone outright just in case it crosses any boundaries.
mountain ridge camp for boys by @/timetogoslumming - starting strong on a GOD DAMN LIE because this one is not short at all but i love it so very much. it could legit be an original story (i'd read the fuck out of a graphic novel of this) it's so well written, the plot is so well set up, etc etc etc its perfect. it hits all my favourite notes - davey going from an outsider to finding his place and feeling like he belongs, jack being a pining idiot, misunderstandings, realistically confusing teenager feelings, etc, etc. i haven't read it in it's entirety for a while but man it makes me happy. sometimes when i'm in my feels i'll pull up the scene where davey very gently handles a ribbon snake. it makes me happy
as you've always been by @/weisenbachfelded - another stunning lie on my part because this is 43,000 words!! ahh friends to fwb to strangers to lovers my beloved. jack and davey re-meet each other after years of separation on a flight - they learn about each others successes and the feelings they'd misinterpreted throughout their friendship. it's so Yearning, so very soft, and not quite as angsty as you'd think. it really does capture that bittersweetness of re-meeting a person you used to know, but also that lingering hope that oh, you do still know this person. and they still know you. it's just such a kind and gentle reading experience.
i pull the trigger (with my eyes closed) by @/we-are-inevitable (MASSIVE trigger warning for murder and suicide) - look man. i have spoken a lot about davey's patented inability to maintain a work-life balance and well. i'd really be letting the team down if i didn't recommend this fic.
i really love this fic as an incredible answer to the question 'just how far does davey's dedication to his family go?'. because davey as a character would give anything for his family, he's doing everything to keep them afloat, he's stressed, he's terrified, he knows he can never repay them for all they've done for him but he needs to try because what kind of son is he if he doesn't? this fic takes all that and goes beyond with it. davey's ruthless dedication to his family juxtaposed against his almost painful love for jack, and how those two things working against each other destroy him. it's intense. there's really no way for me to do this justice in just words alone so i highly recommend you read it (if you're comfortable!) and experience it yourself.
it's so easy (too easy) to love you by @/livesincerely - everyone and their fucking mother knows livesincerely's fics but i love this one so very very much. jack and davey being so in love it's second nature. it's everything to me. it's the perfect little pick-me-up when you've had a long and lonely day.
we'll climb mountains together by @/reluctantcoppercrowd - my favourite javid fic of all god damn time. the progression is perfect, the yearning is palpable, the character interactions and friendships are absolutely flawless, davey as a character is PERFECT (YES he is an awkward anxious autismo YES he is a badass who will kick your goddamn teeth in in the name of Justice NO he will not recognize that he did it at all nor will he accept praise for it THANK YOU), the conflicts are realistic (not only for the time period but the characters themselves process their thoughts feelings and anxieties in realistic ways), the time and effort put into good worldbuilding is PHENOMENAL, and the conclusion feels not only satisfactory, but EARNED. it is truly my favourite javid fic of all time forever and always. it's also not short at all. i'm sorry for the lies anon but i cant help it if things are just Good.
21 notes · View notes