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#nobody wants to pay to see shitty stuff
pxtched · 1 month
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Responding to the requests request! I’m TERRIBLE at requests but you mentioned nerd!miguel and I’m a SLUT for dry humping. You can take the plot with your talented writing brain
NEED. - NSFW - NERD!MIGUEL X QUEENBEE!READER.
tags - fluffy smut, established relationship, afab!reader, Sub!miguel softdom!reader.
cw - dry humping , semi-male masterbation , Cumming in pants.
a/n - new layout, omggg?!? And thank you anon, my motivation hasn’t been the best so it might not be good though I added some stuff, hope it’s to your liking mwah 😽 i DID NOT MEAN TO POST THIS THIS LATE IM SO TIRED IM SORRY YALL
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You and Miguel have been hanging around…secretly. You obviously can’t have your reputation ruined! What would people think? Seeing a popular person like you hanging around with a nerdy-nobody.
Though, you have been hanging around with Miguel more just not all the way. He sits at your booth next to you in lunch, one of your hands and his hands holding each other lovingly.
You can’t help but love him everyday. Yes, maybe at first you hated him and literally was disgusted of him…but you grown to love him. You feel shitty on how you treated him before but you’ll never say it.
Enough about the past, You and him are now in your booth. You’re gossiping with your friends about some girl, while he’s just doing your work and his. His eyes focusing on the work and also on you.
He’s holding your hand under the table as he works. He smiles as he hears you laughter, he wants to laugh with you and kiss your cheek. But since both of you guys are in public and he knows your reputation, so he just squeezed your hand gently with a soft smile on his face.
You look at him and smile, and when no one was paying attention you gave him a quick kiss on his cheek which made him blush and smile like an idiot.
It’s pathetic that a simple kiss can give him this effect but can he blame himself? It’s you, you’re his secret girlfriend! He adores you deeply and you do too. He just wants to go to your dorm and be with you, not with your friends.
Then after that, You were talking with MORE friends. He wants you and you, he immediately waits for you to be done talking. The growing need for you increasing every minute.
He follows you to your classroom and watches you leave, then he turns to his. He sits through his lecture, until he gets a text message from you. You sent him a text. “Hey miggy imma be with my friends for a while, not for long!!”
He frowns and puts his phone away, now he’s going to be alone for couple more hours? This isn’t making him feel better, it just makes him want you more.
When the day was over, he went to your dorm and went inside. He expected you to be there but quickly realized that your going to be gone for 30 minutes, maybe an hour?
He whines and closes the door, his nose is filled with your scent and it won’t leave him alone. It just drives him crazy. He has to deal with this, try his best too. He goes to your bed and sits down, he puts his hand down his pants to finally free his aching cock.
He bites his bottom lip as he puts his hand on his cock and starts moving slowly, thinking it’s your hand instead of his. He closes his eyes and think of you. He misses you so badly. He wants—no—he needs you.
He starts to go faster as he lets out whimpers, fuck. It isn’t working, it’s just making it worst. It’s like his own body is trying to edge himself! he can’t come without you, he needs you.
He stops and sighs, his face flushed as he puts his dick back in his pants and goes to the bathroom to wash his hands. He just has to be patient, he can do that. He done it before and he can do it again.
After 20 minutes you came back, he was doing some work on your desk to distract himself. You see him and smile. You close the door and kiss him on the cheek “missed you miggy” you say softly as you walk to your bed and change into more comfortable clothes.
He couldn’t help himself and watch you change into a t-shirt and some shorts, you noticed and giggle “like what you see?” You teased him and he blushed and turns his head away which makes you laugh.
You lay down on your stomach on your bed as you pull up your phone and scroll on TikTok, bored and have nothing else to do.
He gets up from the chair and walks to you, he gets on the bed and lay on you. His head in your neck as he closes his eyes and take in your scent. You think nothing of it and smile at him, but your eyes widen as you feel him slowly grinding on you. His hips rolling as his clothed dick grinds on your ass.
“Need you so badly baby, couldn’t come without you” he whimpers out as he kept on humping you. You let out a whimper as he increases his pace. “Fuck—love you so much” “love you, so much” he mumbles as he gives sloppy on your jawline and neck.
“Wait honey, let me turn around” you say as he backs off to give you room to do so. Once your on your back, you give him a smile and a nod to continue. His eyes widen as he smiled like he’s on cloud 9.
“Thank you, Thank you, thank you” he repeats as he aligns his clothes cock on your clothed pussy, “Te quiero, tanta mierda cariño” he says and you kiss him “love you too, but shush” you tell him and he chuckles.
He nods and started rolling his hips, feeling his tip hit your clit makes both of you moan. He bites his bottom lip to suppress his moans but he couldn’t, he lets out pathetic moans as he moves his hips faster.
Your legs wraps around his hips as you pull him into a deep, sloppy but passionate kiss. You moan in the kiss as he humps harder. His thrusts become sloppy and frantically as he lets out more moans and whimpers, your moans become high pitched as you feel the familiar knot in your core about to snap.
“I’m-im close Miguel!” You moan out as your face becomes warmer, he moans out “me too, come with me please” he says as he looks in your eyes, his glasses almost falling off of his face.
You kiss him sloppy as you came in your panties, he does the same as he comes in his underwear. He slumps on top of you, regaining his breath. You smiled and brush his hair with your fingers.
“Sorry for leaving you alone” you apologized as you kissed his jawline, he smiled back and responds “it’s okay, thank you so much.” He gives you a soft kiss on the lips.
You giggle and kiss him back. “Love you, you big dork.”
“Love you too mi alma.”
After a comforting silence, you Pat his shoulder to get his attention “let’s take a shower and let me change my sheets then we can cuddle.” He smiled and nodded as he gets up.
He loves you deeply, and you do too.
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🏷️ - @lxverrings , @luvrxbunny , @luxbub , @safixiovi , @syler-griffin , @jadeloverxd , @rxckstarss , @namorkawaiiwife
master-list , rules/guidelines , abt me!
Reblogs and comments help a lot, thank you for reading!
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piratefishmama · 1 year
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You're writing is godly. Can you take a shot at
09.  “I should’ve told you back then, but I didn’t want you to leave.”
Writing Prompts | No longer accepting new prompts
It was the first time in ten years that Steve Harrington had seen Eddie Munson in person, and it was from what felt like miles away in shitty seats up on the balconies, the only saving grace was that Eddie was being tracked like prey by the camera guys, each step, each sway of his hair, each manic, dimpled, toothy grin blown up larger than life on the big screens on either side of the stage. The rest of the band blown up on the ones in the back.
He wasn’t looking at the ones in the back, although the guys suited being up there.
“Steve… he’s uh… Eddie I mean, corroded coffin, they’re playing, y’know? In Indy? Dustin got tickets, but… well they’re not the best tickets, nothing VIP or close to the pit or anything, I don’t think Eddie even knows Dustin’s going, but… we could at least go and see him perform…” it’d been Robin that’d mentioned it, none of them had seen Eddie in person.
He kept in touch when he could with Dustin and his little adventurers, Lucas, Mike, and Erica. But he’d left Hawkins behind with nothing there to hold him back.
There could have been.
Steve knew there could have been, Eddie had told him the night before he’d packed his stuff and left, bore his heart to him in his backyard, hair haloed by the blue light that shimmered off of the pool, nervous but hopeful, he’d offered his heart on a silver platter and Steve… god…
He hadn’t known.
He hadn’t known just how much Eddie meant to him until he was gone, off to stardom with his band, leaving a possible life behind for something else. Could have, should have, would have, it made no difference in the end. Steve had said no when he really meant he needed time to work out his feelings, he’d shut down the possibility before it could grow, and had regretted it ever since.
Eddie had been gone by the following morning, he’d only said goodbye to the kids. Apparently there’d been a record deal offered at his last gig, and his choice depended entirely on whether or not Steve said yes.
Part of him wished he’d have been selfish, part of him wished he’d known his own heart before he’d stupidly let the rejection slip out, things would have been different… but then… Eddie wouldn’t have had this.
He wouldn’t have had a stage, an audience of thousands cheering for him in awe. He would’ve been stuck, in Hawkins, a place that still hated him… Steve was happy for him, truly. Happy that he’d made it, even if it meant Steve could never have him. He could stomp around the stage dressed in denim and leather and shred on a guitar in a way that made Steve’s ears ring but his heart happy, he’d never be tied down to a place that hated him.
He'd never be stuck where the past could haunt him. He could be happy even if Steve couldn’t.
The gig was amazing though, even if Steve stook out like a sore thumb, he’d done his best, wore a little eyeliner, mussed up his hair, he wore Eddie’s old battle vest with the blood stains still visible cause he’d never been able to get them out and Eddie had never taken it back, had seen Steve still had it after they’d won and claimed “it looks better on you anyway” he still looked like someone’s out of place dad, but he was surrounded by the party so, it didn’t matter. Nobody was paying attention to him, nobody was looking for him, Eddie wouldn’t see him from so far away, probably couldn’t even see the row in front of his face with the lights shining on him so brightly.
And yet near the end of the concert, while the band were wrapping up on their final song (before the inevitable encore the audience demanded of them, Dustin claimed it’d probably wind up being Upside Down, or Pariah, two songs he’d always claimed had been inspired by ‘his past’ from the bands last album, they were fan favourites.) A burly guy dressed in a black crew neck with a big white ‘SECURITY’ stretched over his broad chest, flagged him down.
Steve motioned to his ears, he couldn’t hear shit over the music, and could barely hear shit on a regular day, but that particular security guard, simply signed the words:
‘Not in trouble, come with me.’ confidently, as if he knew Steve would understand it. Only when Steve frowned in confusion and signed back
‘why’ did the guy thrust his thumb over into the stage’s direction. The band.
Steve, feeling suspicious, turned to look toward the party, only to find Dustin giving him a thumbs up, and Robin making shoo motions with her hands. Scheming little shits knew he wouldn’t think twice about attending if the seats were so far away. Would think it was safe, that he wouldn’t have to face Eddie. Face his terrible decision that worked out for one of them but not the other.
He wouldn’t have to find himself waiting backstage in a quiet room behind a door labelled ‘Talent’ because of course he’d go. His traitorous legs and heart would force him to go at the mere chance of seeing Eddie again, of seeing him up close, of talking to him, of the chance to fix a mistake he’d made years ago even if his new answer wouldn’t change anything between them. It’d been too long, Eddie wouldn’t still want him when he could have anyone.
If they had told him, he wouldn’t have to see Eddie, quietly (a word not many used to describe the man) enter, his back facing Steve as he closed the door just as quietly as he’d entered. His hair was longer.
The curls fuller, they reached down to his mid-back now and glistened with a mixture of product and sweat, Steve still wanted to touch, still mourned the fact that he’d never gotten the chance to.
“Y’know… When ol Dusty bun said he’d get you here… I wish I’d have believed him. I owe him 20 bucks now.”
“You bet on me coming?” Of course he did.
Eddie turned to face him, a small wistful smile on his cheeks that just hinted the presence of dimples. “Wouldn’t you if you were in my place? Steeeeve Harrington, at a metal concert? Pfft, seems a bit farfetched. You even dressed up too, shit, man, I guess that’s forty bucks. Vest still suits you more.” Steve let his head duck down a little, his cheeks warming under the mans gaze, unsure of the feeling within it. He didn’t know Eddie anymore…
Had he ever really known Eddie though? Had he ever given them chance to know each other outside of sharing trauma and comparing matching scars?
“…Why?”
“Hm?”
“Why am I back here, Eddie? Why’d you call me back here? Why not the party, they’re here too, they’d probably wanna see you too, it’s been years… why?”
“Ah. Dustin told me to, said I should have another go at something I tried years ago that didn’t pan out very well for me the first time around… has been chatting my ear off about it every time he calls… I guess I finally humoured him.” Something he tried years ago? Involving Steve? “Listen, Steve… I—”
Steve cut in, he shouldn’t have, but words just… had to burst from him driven by a flickering ember of hope, he had to, even if it wasn’t the path Eddie’s words were taking, he had to, with hope driving him on “I should’ve told you back then, but I didn’t want you to leave.” Eddie’s mouth shut, his head tilting to the side a little in uncertain interest “I didn’t know… I should have just told you, I didn’t… I wasn’t sure, shit, Eddie… I’d never… you—I’d never felt like… like that for a guy before… I didn’t know what it meant, I should have said—I should have told you that I just needed more time… that I wasn’t ready to answer but… but I didn’t want you to leave. I didn’t know you’d be gone by the time I woke up. By the time I realised I was wrong, you were gone.” He wanted time, but his words had come out wrong.
He’d stumbled through them like he stumbled through everything, struggled to get the right words out and they’d wound up wrong. So so very wrong. “And you didn’t think to call?”
“Heh, you were on your way to fame, Eddie and you didn’t exactly leave a number, Dustin told me you had a chance at stardom… why would I want to weigh you down? Where would I fit in in this life of yours, Eddie? I’m no one, you could have anyone.”
“Mmn, anyone. Even if the one I want believes himself to be no one?” Hope burned brighter, its embers brilliant and warm. “So… can I try again? Or was Dustin wrong?”
“Did you make a bet with him about this too?”
“Absolutely, I’d owe him two hundred bucks if he’s right.”
“Would it be worth it if I said try again?”
“God, Sunshine, I’d drain my entire bank account right into that little buttheads pocket without a care in the world if it meant he was right… i never stopped...” Eddie stepped closer, "I never stopped wanting... even though I wished for the longest time that I could stop... it's always been you, Steve..." now close enough to be within reach, his voice quiet but hopeful “so... is he right? Should I try again?”
“…Please try again.” This time… he wouldn’t be saying no.
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MDZS AU in which Mo Xuanyu is a severely bullied queer kid but nobody is willing to help him in any way because his bullies are stinking rich, sponsors of the fancy rich kid school and also some are even his cousins.
He's at his wits' end and downright suicidal when he stumbles upon this page online about summoning demons and selling your soul to them in exchange for something (kind of like Death Girl)
Except you have to call onto specific demons or nobody will answer the summoning
So Mo Xuanyu goes onto a dark, caffeine-fueled rabbithole of mythology and demonology for a few days and nights until he finds the legend of the fearsome evil Yiling Patriarch
Dude sounds unhinged enough, the flute playing is a thing they have in common (even if MXY's shitty aunt pulled him out of his flute classes a while ago due to "financial issues") and apparently people rumor he was gay for some Lightbringer guy.
Perfect.
So Mo Xuanyu prepares the ritual and... nothing happens. He's so angry and disillusioned he's about to take his own life in frustration because not even this worked, nothing does, he'll be bullied and abused forever - but then, out of black smoke, finally emerges nome other than the scary Yiling Patriarch, only he's a bit... disheveled? And has a white ribbon around one of his hands??
"What is it, kid?"
"...y-y-you're the Yiling Patriarch...?!"
"In the flesh... err, kind of. Anyway, what do you want with me?"
"In a moment, but, um, why did it take you so long to show up??"
Mo Xuanyu swears the Yiling Patriarch turns red a little. "I was... busy! Underworld stuff, very important. So now care to tell me why you had to just pull me out of that super important stuff?"
"Iwantyoutokillmybullies!"
"Slower, kid, I am like 15 centuries old, my hearing isn't the best anymore."
"I want you to kill my bullies... i'll give you my soul in return!"
The Yiling Patriarch sighs softly and pats the kid's head. "Your soul is very precious, kid. Don't give it up just like that."
Mo Xuanyu screams, frustrated tears in his eyes. "I'm not! I've been bullied and abused all my life and I'm so tired of it! I want them all to pay! So take my soul and do it! That's what you're supposed to do, isn't it?!"
"You'll die in 10 years if I take your soul as payment. Do you really not think you'll want to live in 10 years?"
"No! There's nothing in this world for me! Everyone hates me and I hate everyone and everything in it! If you don't take my soul, I'll just kill myself anyway!"
"Hm..." and the Yiling Patriarch takes a few seconds to think. "... how about this? We make a deal but not for your soul. I'll help you with the bullies thing pro bono, no payment, and then I'll come see you in 10 years. If you still want to die, I'll take your soul. If not, consider my help just some random act of kindness."
"Why would a demon be kind??"
"I am not exactly a demon per se. Complicated stuff. Anyway, you in or not?"
"What the hell, let's do it!"
Next day, Mo Xuanyu's bullies wait for him in front of the school gates ready to taunt him and beat him up again.
Except he rolls up in a black Lambo with two super buff looking guys that he calls "uncle Wei Ying" and "uncle Lan Zhan" that see him off to class - before uncle Wei Ying puts a very friendly hand on one of the bullies' shoulders and only slightly lowers his sunglasses so his red eyes shine.
"I'm a really nice guy so I'll warn you. Once. Mess with Mo Xuanyu again and I'll make sure it's the last thing you do." And he smiles a fanged smile. "Or I'll let my husband turn you into a memory. He's very good with his sword and I mean that literally."
"H-H-Husband?!"
"What, any problem with that?"
"No sir you two are an amazing couple!!"
Mo Xuanyu's bullies not only leave him alone but also transfer schools to the other side of the country. Their donations to the school are now replaced with Mo Xuanyu's "uncles" support and so nobody is impacted.
And this is the story of how Mo Xuanyu was adopted by two demon king husbands.
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ladysmutwriter · 2 months
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I hope nobody catch us (but i kinda hope they catch us)
Sophie (Cry of Fear) x Female!Reader
TW: fluff, lesbians hell yeah, drinking, fuck simon we want sophie!!
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You laughed at David's joke as you drank from your beer, on the other side of the table Simon and Sophie drank too.
You were David's younger sister, him not being a big part of your life until a few months ago. He had always had problems with substance abuse, leaving your parents house when he was around 17 to disseapear completely- now, he had one day appeared in your door asking if he could crash for a while, you accepted with the rule of no getting high -other than pot because shit, you did it too; and he was allowed to smoke only if he shared with you- and he began introducing you to his friends, taking you out to just sit in the woods as you remembered stuff from when you were kids or just to order some chinese take out and eat in your dept as you watched some random movie.
Simon was... Odd, not in a harmfull way, but just by looking in his eyes you could see he dealt with a lot of problems, and he smoked a cigarette like every 10 minutes, sometimes you'd go to smoke with him, your conversations being mostly one sided as he never spoke, only made a few small comments and stared at nothing.
Sophie was a charm to be around, in the little time you knew her, she'd constantly take you out to the mall, or you'd go to her house and watch movies- not to mention her being pretty, her hair was always soft and whenever you crossed the street she'd take your hand in hers. Cute.
David began talking about something you couldn't really pay attention, your eyes fixated onto Sophie's, hers being on you too; her face a light shade of pink as her eyes went from your mouth to your eyes, perhaps it was the alcohol in her, but you couldn't help but notice how her lip balm made her lips lightly shiny, your mind running on how it would taste on your own lips.
Excusing herself, she went to the bathroom, quickly getting up you said that you'd go check on her in case she needed to puke or something, Simon and David ignoring you as they spoke about a metal festival coming soon on Stockholm.
Moving across the pub's tables, your face turned a deep shade of red, thinking of what shitty excuse you'd give her to not look like a creep, for fucks sake you followed her to the bathroom. Entering the badly lit bathroom,you found Sophie washing her face, giving you a small smile as she moved to get some paper towel to dry herself.
"I came to check if everything was alright- since we had our fair share of alcohol back there" You quickly said, standing where she was before.
She silently stood in front of you, her face falling on your chest as she hugged you; from her wobbly movements and pink face, you could tell she wasn't completely sober, shit, you not being any better as you were trying your best to not puke or fall, all of your concentration shifting from Sophie and her warmth, back to your wobbly knees trying not to give up.
This felt wrong in a way, nothing was happening but her actions said everything, her head turning to face you as she batted her eyelashes, eyes fixated on your lips. you knew Simon had a crush on her, he'd ocassionally talk to you about it and David always told you about it, mocking Simon's unlucky love life; yet, you didn't care if anyone caught you, nobody else mattered in the moment as you got lost on her dark eyes, your hand going to her bottom lip, her eyes closing as you caressed her soft lips, her head going to yours as you did as well, your lips shyly meeting as your mouths moved rythmically, the strawberry taste of her lip balm drowning your senses, her arms going to your shoulder, yours going to her waist.
Suddenly the whole world went blank, only the feeling of her warmth and the taste of her beer on your mouth, your hands going underneath her shirt to draw circles on the sides of her torso, the feeling of her filling your whole senses.
Her tongue poked your bottom lip, asking for permission, as you opened more your mouth your tongue found hers, the odd texture of tongues rubbing together feeling like the most wonderful thing on the world.
Separating to breath, her chest felt heavy as her eyes looked at you with something you couldn't tell, it wasn't lust, it seemed like pure love, as if she had waited for a long time for this, her lips muttering "Let's go" only for you to hear, grabbing her hand, you two ran through the back door of the pub, not caring about Simon or David, them being so drunk they probably forgot about you two.
Running through the lonely streets of Stockholm, hand in hand as you two laughed at running away from your friends, you arrived to your dept; taking out your phone as you entered, sending David a message that said the following.
"Sophie didn't feel good so she'll stay over, you crash at Simon's because we want to be alone"
Turning your phone in silent mode so no one will bother you, you searched for Sophie, finding her on your bed only in her underwear, your pupils dilating at her sight.
She wore plain white underwear with a small bow in the front, her face red and her hair messy as she looked at you nervously. Wasting no time, you walked towards her, grabbing softly her chin as your lips once again connected with hers, her hands tugging at your shirt as you broke the kiss to take it off, next being your jeans as you switched positions, letting her crawl on top of you as you laid on the bed, your hands going to her ass as she began kissing your neck, sucking lightly and biting trying to make hickeys; you let out soft moans for her, your hands massaging her behind until one of your hands slipped to the front of her panties, fingers softly rubbing her clit as she stopped her work on your neck, her hands going to grip your shoulders as she held back moans, her head falling next to your as her hips grinded against your hand.
Leaving butterfly kisses on her shoulders your other hand slipped underneath her, moving her panties to the side as you tested the waters, one of your fingers entering her hole, her juices covering your finger as she bit down on your shoulder, her moans vibrating against your shoulder, you worked one finger, then added another, then a third, until you felt something wet and way to liquid to be her juices fall onto your lap; looking down you saw blood- this was her first time.
She noticed you stopping and looked down too; her hands going to cover her face shyly. Moving her hands from her face you cleaned your bloody fingers on your sheets -you had to buy new ones anyways, these had like 6 years- softly turning her on her back, you went to get a towel from your bathroom and dipped it on some water, going back to Sophie to clean her thighs and cunt, running her panties down her legs as you began kissing her lower abdomen and thighs, her hands caressing your hair as your kisses slowly went down to her pussy, your hands opening her folds as you began licking her, soon enough your lips going to suck on her clitoris, her hips grinding against your mouth as she moaned little praises for you.
Your fingers went to her opening once again, going knuckle deep as you took turns from licking to sucking her clit.
With a particular loud moan, her walls tightened around your fingers and her hips began shaking, the salty taste of her cum spreading on your mouth and chin as you cleaned your face with once again, the sheets (lmao).
Falling next to her, you began leaving little kisses on her face as she breathed heavily, her hand to yours and intertwining your fingers.
She turned to her side, her hair falling in her face as you fixed it for her, her eyes slowly closing as she fell asleep, on the other hand, you hugged her body as you too fell asleep.
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justimagineok · 1 year
Text
2:30 series - drops of love 💌 || bar fight
~while friends~
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Summary: One too sure, the other not that much. One focused on the present, the other too stuck on the past and afraid of the future. Both of them in love with each other.
warnings: fluff, tiny angst ;)
A/N:  this is while Kook and oc were still friends. Let me know if you have any questions ;) ||  feedback is always appreciated! 🥰 feel free to reblog, comment or send me an ask at anytime 😊
song recommended: first call by JESSIA
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"I can’t believe this is happening...", you grumble, hiding your face under your hoodie, like that somehow could protect you from Jungkook's questions. It couldn''t.
"So... how exactly did you get on a bar fight, YN?"
"Don't wanna talk about it.", you mumbled still behind the hoodie as Jungkook kept his eyes on you. "YN. Stop that. Tell me what happened", he pulled the hoodie out of your face, making you look at him as you pouted.
"It just sort of happened.", you shrug and Jungkook scoffs. "So you just happened to punch a girl in the face?!"
"She deserved it."
"Why? What happened?"
You look away from him, wondering if you should tell him all you heard or just keep it to yourself, but Jungkook didn't look like he was going anywhere until you talk.
"She was being...racist."
"What?!", he got up quickly. "What did she say to you?"
"She didn't say it to me…", you explained . "Let's talk about anything else, Kook."
"No. We're goona talk about that. You can talk to me, YN, c'mon."
You sighted before starting to speak."There was another girl at the bar too, drinking right next to me. She was Korean, I think. Seemed like a shy type of person, cause the two idiots who were sitting just across the drink station kept point fingers at her and laughing, and she said nothing. ", your face was getting red just from remembering. "I couldn't do much about that 'cause you can't beat somebody's ass 'cause they're acting like a bitch.", you looked at him, to see his reaction so far, but Jungkook gave you nothing but an interest look.
"But they started to cuss her, Kook. Like, heavy cussing. I don't get the guts to repeat it to you. And you know what made even more mad? Nobody did nothing. There was a bodyguard there. He didn't do shit. I tried to talk to the girl, but she was too embarrassed, and I get that. She was paying to leave, and the girls got up from their places to come to her. I stood in front of her and told them to stop that nonsense, but they scoffed, can you believe?!"
Jungkook agreed, signing for you to keep talking. "They kept cussing the girl, talking about her eyes and her body and other stuff, and one of them started to walk to follow her." You sighed. "That's when I grabbed her hair."
"You did?", he was surprised, giving you his 'Jungshook' eyes.
"I wasn't going to let them keep that shit. Talking didn't work."
"Hm", Jungkook agreed with you. You couldn't decipher his eyes.
"You must be disappointed, huh? How do you feel about me right now?"
"What? What do you mean?", he asked, confused.
"I'm not all soft and flowery like other girls, Jungkook… This must be different for you. I lost my cool and fucked up. I feel embarrassed, but I couldn't just watch that."
"I'm not disappointed, YN. I don't think that legally I can say that you did the right thing, but as your friend I can say assure you did."
"I can't believe people this shitty still exist. This is horrible. You should see the look on the girl eyes.. She was terrified. And she didn't do anything to deserve it. She received all that hate just by existing. This isn't right."
"Yeah... It sucks.", Jungkook place his hands above yours.
"Do you think I'm going to jail?", you voice your fear, and suddenly Jungkook starts laughing.
“Is something funny?”, you raise your eyebrows.
"Yeah. You don't seem to believe I can help you get out of this situation.", Jungkook smirks. "I said I want to be here for you, so let me."
"I don't understand."
"I’ll get you out of this in no time, YN. Do you trust me?",he says simply, like it was no big deal.
"Why you're doing all of this for me?"
"Because I care about you."
"But why?"
Jungkook sighed, embarrassed. "''Cause I like you."
"Hmm", you hummed, blushing. Why he's so forward? “You still like me? Even now?"
Jungkook nodded. "You don’t need to worry about scaring me off, YN. I’m not going anywhere. You can try as hard as you want, but there’s nothing you can say that’s going to make me like you any less.", he states, finally getting up and using his phone.
"Now, let me call Bang PD and see what he can do for us."
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To your surprise, with a few calls Bang PD managed to release you and the other girls from that situation, making it clear to Jungkook that he shouldn't even be in a place like that, where he could be seen by the fans, but he just agreed, focused on solving the problem. Your problem. The guards who had been called because of the commotion quickly dispelled the few onlookers who had gathered to see what had happened and took down the names of the girls who had offended the other girl. You didn't even know her name, you observed. You, Jungkook and the girl were directed to the back of the bar, away from the crowd, as soon as they recognized who the idol was. Jungkook sat next to you, waiting until the crowd had cleared so the two of you could leave. You wanted to say something to the girl, but she was so huddled in her corner that you thought it best not to make the situation worse. maybe you shouldn't have done any of that. maybe you just made it worse for her.
About 20 minutes passed and neither of you said another word. Jungkook watched as you looked at the girl, itching to talk to her. He poked you lightly, motioning for you to go ahead and do it and you poked him back, frowning. Jungkook cleared his throat loudly, catching the girl's attention and his own. It was the chance he needed. He pushed you forward with his arm, making you stumble slightly. You were ready to curse him out when you saw a small smile appear on the girl's face. It was your chance.
"So..." , you walked slowly towards her, and she looked away, focusing on a spot on the floor. "I  know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, I just… needed to know if you were okay.” She girl kept looking at her feet as you spoke. "I'm sorry for making you go through all of this and I'm sorry for what they did to you. I only made it worse.", you bowed down completly, letting her know how sorry you were and you didn't wait for a response from her, slowly walking back to your spot.
"Thank you." You stopped in your tracks, hearing her voice for the first time. "Thank you for defending me."
You turned around and saw her looking at you. "You don't  have to thank me. I’m  glad you’re alright. Take care of yourself, okay?"
The girl smiled and nodded, bowing down again. Jungkook gets up, listening to the guards say you can finally go home.
"Can you tell me your name?", you ask as you get ready to leave. The girl smiles shyly before speaking.
"I'm Haru."
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Jungkook took you to his house, muttering something about keeping an eye on you and preventing you from going to jail while he slept.
The drive home was unusually silent, Jungkook focused on the road and not exchanging many words. Now that you think about it, he asked something about whether the temperature in the car's air conditioning was okay with you and if you wanted to stop for something to eat. Yes and no, that's what you answered and he hasn't said anything since. You watched his jaw tighten, as if he was angry. Maybe he was mad at you. How could he not be? He was the first person you called once the guards arrived and pulled you off the girls. You couldn't count on your parents and there was no one else you could trust with something like this. even knowing that Jungkook was famous, he was the only person you trusted, even though you hadn't known him for that long, back then.
"Why are you like that?", you, broke the silence, but he didn't spare you a glance. "Hello?", you tried again, but Jungkook didn't say a thing.  He remained silent until you arrived at his house. You watched as he opened the car door and got out without saying anything. You got out of the car, following in his footsteps, hating every second of that cold shoulder until you couldn't take it anymore.
"If you're so ashamed, why did you go there to help me then?", you stopped at the door, leaving it open while Jungkook, who was going to his room, stopped midway. "You're ashamed of the way they looked at me, aren't you? Go ahead, admit it, Jungkook. I can handle it."
Jungkook scoffed, crossing his arms. "You think I give a shit about what people think of you, YN? Really?", he was baffled. You were really that oblivious? "That's what you think is happening here?"
“Why the hell did you go there if you’re so angry at me?!", you didn't understand. Jungkook uncrossed his arms, covering his face and taking a deep breath.
“You know why, YN. ”, he said so softly it made your heart race.
But you didn't know. At least not for sure. You couldn't assume that he liked you, at least not to the point of risking being seen, just to go to you. You didn't deserve all that. "I don't know why you did it.", you state. "But if you're sorry, you shouldn't have gone there."
Jungkook's jaw dropped, completely shocked at how stubborn and prideful you could be sometimes. It wasn't possible that you didn't understand how much you meant to him. "You can't save everyone, YN! Can't you see that?"
"I'm not trying to do that, Jungkook!"
"Yes, you are! "he ran his hands through his hair, completely frustrated. "You see a cat on a tree and you wanna save it, you see a building on fire and wanna put it down, you see a girl on a bar, and you punch people to defend her. You always do this, YN!"
"And what's the matter if I do? At least, I wanna do something good. Something worth it!"
"What do you mean by that?!", he furrowed his brows.
"What I mean?! What you do when you see injustice right in front of you, Jungkook? You're gonna sing to make it better? You're gonna do a live and talk about it?!", you spat back, bitterly. Jungkook gives a step back, clearly affected by your words, and that's when you see how badly you crossed the line.
"Ouch", he mutters, giving you an awkward smile.
"Jungko--"
“no, I get it. I can take care of you whenever you do stupid things trying to defend somebody else, but heaven forbid I start to ask questions about why you do those things in the first place.”
"I didn't mean it lik--", you tried to mend what you said, but he stops you again.
"We can talk in the morning, YN. For now, you need to rest. You know where the guest room is, and the kitchen is over there. I'm sure you don't want me to do anything for you to eat since you don't like to bother like you always say. Or perhaps I can sing it and create some food", he hissed bitterly, walking towards his bedroom, without saying anything else.
You sat on the couch, processing everything that happened, the guilt for being so hard on Jungkook hammering in your chest. You don't know how much time has passed, but it seems like it hasn't been long since you hear Jungkook's bedroom door open. You watched as he walked towards you with lazy steps and his eyes practically closed. He was practically sleeping on his feet.
"You need rest, c'mon", he offered you his tattooed hand, still not fully opening his eyes. You looked at him, his hand still reaching for yours. How could he call you to sleep even though he's mad at you? Why doesn't he hate you? You made a mistake, so why weren't you being punished for it?
"do I need to carry you? You know I'll do it", he tried again, smirking. "C'mon, let's go to bed.", he offered one more time.
"What are you doing, Kook?", was he insane? "I thought you were mad at me.", you practically whispered, watching as Jungkook opened his eyes lazily, giving up on trying to multitask.
“I’m concerned. Not mad.”, he clarifies. "You save everyone, but who saves you, YN?" You didn't say anything, just looking at him. He was disappointed, you could see. "You could've gotten hurt. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."
"Koo-"
"No. I can't lose you, YN. And yeah, you might be right: I don't care much about other people as I should, but I care about you. I'm oblivious to so many things… I don't think I do it intentionally, but when the matter is you, I get crazy thinking if you're safe. That has to count for something.", Jungkook reasons, crossing his arms. He knew you thought you were doing the right thing, but putting yourself in danger for everyone wasn't the best choice. Couldn't you see that?
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Kook… I was angry and shouldn't have said that. I'm really sorry."
Jungkook nodded. "Yeah, you shouldn't." He knew you didn't mean it, the regret in your eyes were too clear to him.  "But I don't care if we're fighting or if I'm mad at you: I'm still gonna be here for you, YN. If something like that ever happens again, I better still be your first call. Maybe you think it’s your job to look after everyone else, but it’s not supposed to be like that. It works both ways, you know? And now it’s my turn to look after you."
He offers his hand another time, and you finally reached for it. He smiled satisfied. "Finally.", he says, as he leads you with him to his bedroom. He lets go of your hand, searching the wardrobe for the pillow you usually use when you sleep at his house. You watch as Jungkok replaces the common pillow with yours and makes room for you to crawl under the blanket. You settle in and Jungkook adjusts the blanket around you, before laying down next to you.
“Are you comfortable?”, he whispers as you nest your body against his.
"Very much", you affirm, and Jungkook hums. He waits until your breathing becomes soft and even against him before letting himself drift off to sleep.
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homiro · 1 month
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Comissions for Fanfiction: OPEN
I know I'm a nobody and mediocre at writing, but would anyone be interested in commissioning me fanfics for like five euros/dollars/pounds? I know the value isn't the same but it's close enough for me not to care. I really need money to pay for medication and therapy and trips to the city to get said therapy. The fiver would be for anything from 1k to 5k words. Anything longer would go up to +1 per 1k words. I sell it cheap because it's low quality stuff, you know like those shitty bracelets that are dirt cheap and break at the smallest breeze? Yeah that's the vibe.
Ao3 users are ForestFish and HopeaLumi. I would post the prompts in the first one, which is kind of a side account that I got because I wanted to transfer one fanfic from my main to another account.
Anyway. Feel free to check my stuff, maybe have a gander through the shorter fics to see how I write, but if you want it in a different narrative tense (e.g. present tense), style (e.g. poetic prose), etc., I can also do that).
If you're interested shoot me a message via chat or something and we can discuss the details. I can write for any fandom. Just tell me what characters you want and how YOU personally would like them written and/or how you perceive them.
I will tag all the things I've written for through the years and well, hope. That's all I can do. Hope.
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withlovewriting · 2 years
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Mixed Drinks and Smoke Rings 10: This Is Going To Hurt
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Chapter Ten: This Is Going To Hurt
Do I wanna know, if this feeling flows both ways? Sad to see you go, was sort of hoping that you’d stay, Baby we both know, That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day, Do I wanna know, too busy being yours to fall, Sad to see you go, ever thought of calling darling? Do I wanna know? Do you want me crawling back to you?
Summary: New to town, you didn’t need a friend, you needed a dealer. Thankfully, a girl from your Narcotics Anonymous meetings knew just the guy.
Characters: Fezco (euphoria) x Non-descriptive Reader
Words: 4,111
Chapter Warnings: References to drug use, r word slur, threats of violence
Series Warnings: Addiction, sexual themes, cursing, abuse (various), smut, drug use, teenagers being fucking idiots. 18+ only, minors DNI
Previous Chapter:
Next Chapter: 
Masterlist
taglist: @iamasimpingh0e​​​ @chelseagirl77​​​ @zeida​​​ @thepawn1999​​​ @alanis-altair​​​
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Fezco wasn't the type of person to sit and ponder over stuff. Shit happened, and he dealt with it as necessary, then he moved on.
But -- despite popular belief -- Fezco also wasn't an idiot. He had his strengths, like math, dealing, and even taking care of his Grandma and Ash. He was also aware of his weaknesses. He just didn't think he would group you in that category.
He wasn't sure when exactly it had started, either. 
You were rude and stand-offish the first time you'd met, and he was fully aware that you were only interested in his supply. You weren't different from any of the other people he'd sold to that night, so when he ended up watching over your unconscious, dumbass self, he surprised even himself. But he excused it as doing a favor for Rue. And the only reason he didn't leave you at the party was that he wasn't an asshole.
The situation with Mouse... Well, that was self-explanatory. The guy was a creep, absolute waste of space as a human, and he knew exactly what he had planned with you if nobody could pay for the Fentanyl. Hell, the fact he let Fez pay for it was a miracle in itself. Not that Fez -- or Ash, for that matter -- would've let Mouse go that far. He had guns for a reason.
But over the past few weeks, Fezco saw more than one side of you. More than -- regardless of your protests -- a drug-addicted teenager who lived with an abusive alcoholic father. You were quick-witted and sharp-tongued, sure. But the longer Fez spent with you, the more he saw a softer side of you. The side that helped his brother clean up just so he could enjoy a carnival, baiting him into playing the games and winning himself a silly bear that still occupied the bottom of his bed.
He'd seen the side of you that stayed behind until he'd shut up shop, sweeping the floor just so he could get home a little sooner, even though he'd told you that you could go a few hours previous. 
No matter how hard you tried to keep to yourself and not let anyone in, Fez had somehow begun to peel back your layers and see the soft surface underneath the hard exterior. And he liked what he saw.
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Grumbling, you pushed your face further into the pillow, trying to block out the sunlight that was peaking through the blinds.
Realizing your efforts were futile, you sighed and pushed yourself up, sitting on the soft bed as you peered around the room with sleepy eyes.
The other side of the bed was empty and cold, so you knew Fez hadn't been there for a little while, and whilst you were tempted to go find him, a part of you almost felt scared.
Last night had most likely changed things between the two of you, and whether for the better or not, you were still unsure. 
Relationships were complicated at the best of times, and the last thing you needed was to fuck up the only real friend you had in this shitty little town.
Deciding that you couldn't hide all day in the man's bed, you pushed yourself up and quietly shuffled down the hallway.
Ash was already sitting at the table eating his breakfast, your arrival causing him to do a double-take, spoon stopping halfway to his mouth and causing the milk to slosh off a little.
His eyes dart to your -- or rather, Fez's -- attire, before looking over to his brother, then back to you with a cocked brow. Sure, you'd stayed before a handful of times, but never like this. As you picked at the hem of the pajama shirt, your nerves only made him more suspicious,
"Didn't know you stayed the night."
His comment draws Fez's attention, causing him to exit the kitchen and send you a nod, "I got some coffee on, you want one?"
Ready to do almost anything to get away from Ashtray's curious stare, you sent him a nod and followed him into the kitchen.
He poured the dark liquid into two mismatched mugs, handing one over to you before lifting himself up onto the counter, sitting as he sipped at the hot drink as if he had no care in the world. It wasn't until his eyes met yours that you could see the doubt that had nestled its way into his mind.
"You got much to do today?"
Gulping down the mouthful of coffee, you shrugged your shoulders, "Just homework. Gotta see my dad too..."
Fez nodded, but you could tell he was still a little uncomfortable about your father. You couldn't help but feel your hackles rise, the fierce loyalty you had for your father wasn't going to be swayed just because Fez met him once at his worst. Before you could berate his obvious discomfort, he spoke up,
"You need a ride?"
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You'd barely been able to concentrate on your schoolwork, eyes peaking towards your phone every few minutes waiting for a text from Fez. Not that you'd admit it to anyone. You hadn’t been that girl for a long time. But it felt odd considering you were both in almost constant communication one way or another.
Fez liked phone calls, something you abhorred, much preferring to text. But there was something weirdly soothing about hearing his monotonal voice through your phone that pushed you to put up with it, enjoy it, even.
Yet there were no calls. No texts. You weren't overly surprised; he was most likely busy at the store, but you were worried things would be weird between you both. Breakfast had been moderately uncomfortable -- you weren't sure if that was because of the strange tension that had settled between yourself and Fez, or because of Ash's constant glances, as if he was trying to work something out -- and you really didn't want a repeat of it whenever you worked a shift.
Plus, he was still your dealer, and the last thing you needed was for him to refuse to sell to you, forcing you to seek out your old dealer once more.
You promised yourself you wouldn't go back, not again. Even if Fez didn't sell coke, you would have to make do without it. You were constantly defending yourself about not being an addict, so maybe this way you could -- albeit, secretly -- prove it.
Checking your phone once more -- this time, for the time -- you huffed out a sigh and closed your textbook. Stretching as you stood, you decided to pull up your big girl panties and head to the store. You didn't know exactly how to broach the subject to him, but you knew you had to, for the tension that had settled like dust to be wiped away.
As you made your way through the house, you noted that your father still wasn't home, meaning he'd most likely made his way to a bar after working overtime. Making a mental note to return tonight as quietly as a mouse, you grabbed a jacket and made your way to see Fez.
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Any ounce of bravado you'd mustered on the walk to the store had all but abandoned your body once you stood in the parking lot. 
You could feel your pulse in your throat, and your hands felt clammy as if you'd just shoved them into a pre-heated oven.
A part of you -- the scared part -- wanted to turn right back around and make a dash for your home. It was the fear of change, a fear that you had fucked up everything between yourself and the one person you'd actually formed some sort of real friendship with in this town.
But maybe, and much more likely, Fez would just tell you to forget it, and act as if nothing had happened. That was the safe option, and if it meant keeping him in your life, you'd do it.
You weren't even sure if you liked him like that, anyway. It was just a kiss, right? Friends kissed, you were sure of it.
Either way, you'd never know if you continued to stand around in the parking lot all evening, so shaking your head in an attempt to clear it, you made your way towards the store, one step at a time.
"Wondered if you were actually gonna come in or not." He spoke, bending down to refill some stock, "Saw you outside, standin' 'round for a while. Looked like you was thinkin' real deep, so I didn't wanna intrude."
You watched as his back muscles flexed slightly under his shirt, arms covered by a long-sleeved jumper as he stood to his full height, placing a couple of cans inside the fridge.
Watching him for just a moment, you wondered if Fez would ever leave the family business and make an honest living instead. Even just running the store. But you supposed not. Habits were hard to break, especially when you were good at them.
"You alright?"
Blinking a few times, your eyes widened once you realized he'd caught you staring at him before plastering a smile on your face, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. Sorry."
Your cheeks felt warm as your eyes darted around the store.
"You sure? You seem kinda... nervous."
Finally managing to make eye contact, you took a deep breath, ready to begin what would be a tirade. Ash, however, seemed to sense his brother's possible distress, poking his head from the freezer that led to the back.
"Ay, you got any money?"
Your mouth snapped shut, forehead creased with confusion as your mouth caught up with your brain, "Uh... Some, yeah. Why?"
"You wanna try out these new Alpha-Methyltryptamines?"
Maybe Ash had actually sensed your distress, coming to rescue you like a damsel in distress. If you got you a couple of pills out of it, you'd happily play the part.
"We actually a little busy right now, bro. Maybe later."
Ash turned to his brother, a pinched expression on his face, "And we gotta shift a shit-ton of these if-"
"-Later."
The two boys watched each other for a moment, another one of their silent conversations going on before Ash let out an exaggerated sigh. Sending his brother a swift nod, he made his way back to his office.
"I can take some of those off your hands if-" 
Fezco led you by the arm towards the till, ignoring your offer. He offered you his usual seat before standing in front of you; close enough to appear intimate, but far enough away that he wasn't boxing you in.
"You been actin' weird all day."
It was a statement, but his shuffling feet and downcast eyes made it sound much more like a question.
"You haven't seen me for the majority of it." You shrugged, shrugging as you attempted to send him a smile that looked anything other than sad.
His eyes met yours, and for the first time, it felt like you knew what he was thinking.
Exactly.
Chewing on your bottom lip, you avoided his eyes as you collected your thoughts, "About last night-"
Fez remained silent, waiting for you to continue, the nerves in his body settling in his stomach.
Exhaling, you glanced towards the store's ceiling, "I'm uh, I'm just sorry. You know? I feel like I crossed a line."
This time, it was Fez's turn to shrug, "I wasn't exactly complainin'."
"We're friends, Fez. Friends don't kiss."
It was a weak excuse. The exact opposite of what you had been telling yourself all morning.
"Maybe some do."
Those three words were simple enough, but as your eyes met his, you both understood the weight they held. If you two were to continue whatever it was you were doing, you had a lot at risk.
Your friendship, for one. Someone always got feelings and ended up hurt. And as much as you didn't want that to be yourself, you also desperately hoped it wouldn't be Fez, either.
As his hands landed on your thighs, he stepped closer, standing between your legs as he gazed at you, lashes fluttering against his cheekbone.
He was now standing so close, you could hear him breathe, his mouth only inches away from your own.
"It seems like a really, really bad idea..." You trailed off, voice barely above a whisper as you watched his lips.
"Tell me to stop, and it ends right here. It's all good and we go back to being friends who don't kiss."
Well, that sounded exponentially worse.
Feeling his exhale on your cheek, your eyes closed for a long moment, "Do you kiss all of your friends?"
Fez's hand moved from your thigh, caressing your jaw, "Not a single one, Ma."
Good answer, Fezco.
Before you could tell him -- or rather, show him so -- the rumbling engine of a car distracted him, and although he stayed close to you, his head turned to look through the open doors where Nate Jacob's truck came to a stop.
He moved away, resting against the fridge behind him, and you could hear Maddy's request for her boyfriend.
"She your friend?" He asked quietly, eyes darting towards Maddy, noticing the girl looking your way, sending you a strained smile.
Shrugging a shoulder, you mumbled, "I guess."
Fez watched in the convex mirror as Nate wandered around the store, making his way towards the fridges in search of their drinks before nodding his head in Maddy's direction,
"You should go speak to her."
Your own eyes spotted Nate in the reflection, and Fez couldn't help but notice how your body stiffened, "I'm not sure that's a good idea-"
"This won't take a minute. Go."
It wasn't a request.
You wanted to ask him what was wrong, what his problem with Nate was, but Fez wasn't in the mood for talking. This was a side of him you had yet to see. This was the side of him that handled business.
So instead, you sent him a curt nod, eyes finding Nate's as he turned the corner before quickly scurrying over to his truck where Maddy was sitting in the passenger's seat.
"Long time no speak." You sent her a timid smile, unsure of what her reaction would be. She'd avoided you just as much as you had her. You just didn't know why.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. Everything's just been a lot, you know?"
Nodding, you chewed at your bottom lip, "Yeah, it's cool. I get it. Life and shit, right?"
Maddy smiled at her genuinely, "Yeah. Life and shit."
You two weren't exactly friends, but you genuinely felt like maybe you could be, if only she ditched the cunt she called a boyfriend.
"You going to the party next weekend?" She asked, a hopeful glint in her eye. 
"Uh, I mean... I don't even know whose party it is." You shrugged.
A small laugh escaped her as her smile only widened, "Neither do I, but I'm still going. See you there, maybe?"
"Yeah... Maybe."
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"What, are you in a relationship?" Nate questioned, leaning against the fridge.
"Nah, bruh, that's like... My family."
Nate watched as Fez's eyes turned towards him, seemingly unbothered. But he saw them flash towards you briefly, and he couldn't help but smirk.
"I didn't mean Rue."
Fez watched him silently as Nate's own eyes turned towards you as you spoke to Maddy.
"Look, man. All I'm saying is, leave her and her friends alone."
"Is that a threat?"
Fez shook his head a little, "Nah, I'm just tellin' you."
"Or what?" Nate fucking loved to push people.
"We're not gonna be havin' this conversation."
Nate turned once more, watching as both you and Maddy looked their way, eyebrows furrowed before resuming your conversation. Moving closer to him, Nate sighed,
"Fezco, let's get this straight. You're like, half a retard. You dropped out of school at 20, and now... You're a gangster? What are you like... fucking Tony Montana? What's the plan? You gonna be living in a mansion, fuckin' pet tigers and shit? You think she's gonna be there?"
Sending him a sardonic smirk, Nate continued, "You know, girls like her, Fez... They don't hang around guys like you for the company. You have something she wants, and I mean sure, you could probably use that to your advantage, I'm sure she'd fuck you for a couple of pills, but... That's all it'll ever be, supply and demand. A business transaction. Shit, she got what she could from my brother on Halloween and he hasn't heard from her since so... Go fuck yourself."
Although his face remained stoic, Fez struggled to swallow the lump in his throat. He was glad he hadn't followed Rue's advice and taken a gun, knowing that by now he would've pistol-whipped the cunt.
Fez licked his lips, anger bubbling very close to the surface, "Listen, bruh. All I'm sayin', you keep fuckin' with Rue and her friends, and I'mma kill you." Turning towards the till, he rang Nate up, "It's gonna be $5.75, playboy."
Nate stormed past you without even a glance, giving you only a moment to step back before he took off out of the parking lot.
You returned to Fez's side, eying him suspiciously, "Everything good with you two?"
Fez nodded, "Yeah, everythin's fine, Ma. Ain't nothin' to worry 'bout."
You nodded and sent him a reassuring smile, even though you didn't believe him. He clearly had some sort of issue with the boy -- quite a few people did -- but it was obvious he wasn't going to tell you any time soon. So instead, you raised a hand, cupping the back of his neck as you pulled him closer, placing a soft, unexpected kiss on his lips.
He wanted to ask you about what Nate had said. He doubted that you were only around him for his drug supply, it wasn't like you bought something every time you saw him, and you'd hung out totally sober on Halloween.
She got what she could from my brother on Halloween...
The thought irked him, and he tried to reassure himself that Nate was just trying to take a shot at him, hit him where it hurts. They both knew you and his brother had been in each other's presence before, that wasn't news to Fez. You'd told him you went home and slept, and he trusted you. He had no reason not to, right? 
That's what he told himself as he returned the kiss.
But he was taught a long time ago, that you should never trust an addict.
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Fez and Ash shut up shop pretty quickly after, driving all 3 of you back to their place. He had the radio on low, quiet enough that if you chose to speak, he could hear you from the backseat, but loud enough to hopefully deter any conversation. Spotting the small smile you sent him in the rear-view mirror, Fez couldn't help but smile back.
Fuck Nate Jacobs.
After arriving at the boy's home, you shoved your phone into the back pocket of your jeans before making your way to the couch, Fez locking up before following you. Ash was focused on locking away their stash and more than happy to try and avoid whatever-the-fuck was going on between you both.
 "You want a drink or somethin'?" He asked, stripping off his jumper, leaving him in a short-sleeved top instead.
Shaking your head, Fez sat back down, this time a little closer to you. He flicked through the channels for a while, finally settling on something that managed to hold his attention.
Resting your head on his shoulder, you felt yourself drifting off to sleep, only to be alerted to Ash's shout for Fez.
You exchanged a look before he made his way quickly to his brother's room, a loud "fuck" being heard before the two seemingly began rushing around. Calling for you, you quickly saw what all of the fuss was about.
"Grab some of these, we need'a flush 'em," Fez said, ripping off the tops of the bottles before pouring them into the toilet. You remained standing for just a second, eyes wide as you watched the ridiculous amount of drugs they had stashed, all being flushed away.
It pulled at your heart in some sick way, making your mouth dry and your hands shaky. But hearing Fez's desperate voice, you shook your head, attempting to snap out of it before kneeling next to him and helping.
"What the fuck's happened?"
Before he could reply, a loud bang could be heard from the front door, "East Highland PD. Open up!"
Your motions stopped for a moment as Ash ran back into the room, a bag full of loose pills, joining you both on your knees as he dumped their contents into the bowl.
"Goddamn it!"
Your hands felt slippery as they continued to undo lid after lid, throwing the pills into the toilet as Fez flushed them away. Your heart was beating out of your chest, and you could only imagine how the two boys felt.
Once most of the pills were disposed of, you grabbed the now empty bag Ash had run in with, and began collecting the empty bottles, ready to hide them.
Bending down, you felt your phone fall out of your back pocket, hitting the floor by Fez's legs. Turning quickly, you'd noticed the little baggy with a few bumps of cocaine left had also fallen out. 
You halted any actions as your eyes met Fez's, the boy also noticing the bag. You heard Ash swear under his breath, before the boy grabbed it, opening it up and dumping the contents into the toilet, flushing it away with the last of the pills. He quickly grabbed the bag full of empty bottles from you, rushing off to his room to hide it.
"You fuckin' kiddin' me?" He asked, his lip curling.
Impersonating a fish, you opened and closed your mouth a few times, fumbling for an excuse. But Fez just shook his head before standing and looking down at you with cold eyes.
"The fuck you get it from?" Before you could speak, he'd already cut you off, "You know what? I don't got time for your bullshit."
His face remained as stoic as ever as Fez passed you, making his way towards the door, "Alright, alright, calm down. We was sleepin'."
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The police thankfully didn't stay long after being unable to find anything bar Marie’s prescription medication.
"-And do you reside here, too?" The officer asked, looking up towards you.
"Uh, no. We're friends."
The officer nodded, placing his hands on his knees before pushing himself to stand, "You need a ride home?"
This time, when Fez opened his mouth, you cut him off, "Actually yeah, sure. That would be great."
Your legs felt wobbly as you walked out of the front door, adrenaline still pulsing through your veins as you turned back to look at Fez who was already watching you, his brows drawn together.
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Looking up the path to your house after closing the car door, you saw the house in darkness, the only light coming from the television in your living room. A twitch of the curtain told you your father was still awake, and fully aware you were dropped home by the police.
As you entered the house, you saw your father spread across the sofa, beer in hand, switching through the TV channels. Noting the lack of alcohol bottles surrounding him, you hoped it was safe to approach.
"What was that about?"
His voice made you flinch, but you didn't hear any slurring, presuming he was sober.
"They saw me walking, said I shouldn't be out late." You remained behind the sofa, wringing your hands together, "I'm gonna head up to bed. Goodnight."
He raised his beer towards you, but didn't bother to reply, leaving you to sprint as quietly as possible up to your room.
Rolling over onto your back, you let out a deep sigh. You'd been tossing and turning for what felt like hours, the earlier events running through your mind on a loop.
You really wished you had something, anything to help you fall asleep. To forget. You really weren't fussed.
Your phone vibrated on the bedside table, and you glared at it for a moment, hoping Rue wasn't still in her manic episode. Instead, it was the only other name you didn't want to see right now.
fez: open ur window
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lutawolf · 1 year
Note
Hello Luta! Hope you're doing well :)
I'm wondering if you would kindly spoil the skylove book for me regarding the SA specifically. I'm a bit nervous about the shitty ex finally coming on screen and I'm wondering how/if he interacts with sky again in the present? if you already have talked about this i apologise, i haven't been able to find the post.
xoxo 🌼
Hey Hey 🌼,
I'm doing good thank you! A little backed up at work so bare with me guys.
I'm going to do this and anyone who disagrees can find my unfollow and then block button. Because I will always put the needs of an SA before those who don't like spoilers. When it comes to SA it helps us be less triggered by not being surprised. Maybe you think we shouldn't watch or read stuff but fuck off, nobody asked you. I'm not letting some jack ass control my life to that extent. I will watch what I enjoy. I will just have to take precautions. Like reading the book first, buddy watching, or having people watch ahead for me. So yup, I completely understand 🌼 and I'm here for you.
There will be LITA SPOILERS & TRIGGERS ahead!
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It's graphic and it isn't pretty. In the story we find out that Sky dated Kan in high school. There is unconsensual S&M play until finally group SA. At which point Kan finally does leave Sky alone but he tells him that he did it because he was bored with him. Which very much crumbles any self confidence that Sky had.
Sky is off Kan's radar until Sky calls to find out about the race. Then once again when Pai starts posting pictures on social media of him and Sky. Because he's proud and wants to broad cast to everyone his boyfriend. It is closer towards the end when Sky ends up in Kan's hands again. Sky comes to see Pai at a race and runs into him, which they (as in another friend) take the opportunity to kidnap him. What's worse is the friend has borrowed Pai's condo keys so takes him there, to which Sky thinks Pai gave him away. Like Kan before.
From the previews it looks like Pai will get there prior to anything happening. In the book, he is not violently hurt again but the ex puts the nipple rings back in and does some nipple touching. Pai, Payu, Rain, and Saifah all come to the rescue. Rain actually makes sure that Kan will never use his balls again, that's if he survives whatever Chai plans to do to him. Needless to say, if his assailants walk away it's not without scars, the inability to ever move correctly, and ptsd. You know the stuff that us SA survivors pray for.
Hope this was helpful 💜💜💜
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pawsitivevibe · 11 months
Text
Okay I am so conflicted about this job I applied for. I won't hear back for a few more days, but I feel like I need to make a decision now in case they offer me it. I think the interview went well and I have a lot of relevant experience compared to their typical applicants ...
Anyway, it's for essentially a dog grooming apprenticeship.
The problem is, they only pay minimum wage ($15). But typically you might have to pay thousands to attend a grooming school. Or like if you go to the PetSmart grooming academy you have to "pack back" that training by working for them for a certain amount of time. Apparently if you quit before then you have to pay back whatever you "owe" for the schooling. So this apprenticeship is instead paying me to be there, and not charging me anything for the valuable training. So I can see minimum wage making sense to them, right. Considering offering this training is an expense to them because of the time commitment, but they are doing it because they want it to pay off by providing more groomers for their business.
I make $17 an hour right now at the barn. Which isn't like huge, but that extra $2 an hour does go places. I'm not sure I can afford to take the paycut. Especially when my partner is being really cagey about it. Like yeah he says do what I want, but like what does he ACTUALLY think about a losing some money??
BUT I could really make a career out of dog grooming I think. And I could make a lot more than I do now once I make commission and tips. The guy who interviewed me did say that it would likely take around a year to get to that, though. So I might be making $15/hour for a year.
BUT once I'm working there for a year I would be expected to start buying my own grooming kit. So uh a few thousand dollars worth of stuff, right. I would get a discount from their supplier and be able to have it come off my paycheck. But it will still be a big expense. I would get to keep all that stuff forever though....
Another thing too is that I just won a lifetime subscription to all the content from an online dog grooming and showing academy. So I will be watching a bunch of courses and seminars to learn some specialty show grooming stuff. So if I did become a groomer, I could potentially one day offer specialty breed specific grooms and stuff like coat stripping.
Now ... I just don't know if I can take the risk. I do think it could really pan out into a career. But the paycut up front would be a problem. Especially when, like, I can't afford to pay all my bills as it is. I'm constantly broke. I am supposed to be looking for a job that pays more. I have a Communications degree, I'm supposed to get like an office job or something. But nobody wants to hire me for a job like that. Or all the listings for ""entry level"" positions want 3-5 years of experience in the field. That ain't entry level! Tbh I would hate that kind of job anyway. But I always kinda thought I would have to settle for something I hated. I have just been avoiding it for a while by working shitty jobs I kinda like. This grooming thing I could actually love. BUT there's just no money up front. So I don't know what to do. It's probably just too late in life for me to take this chance, I think. I have bills to pay.
Anyway. Advice welcome. Just mostly looking to vent.
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finniestoncrane · 2 years
Note
PLEASE tell about your idealized version of capullo riddler! I’m starving to hear more about him
ok i moved this up the queue because i am OBSESSED with him like i love him and i love you BUT ANYWAY i reserve the right to be as unhinged about this man as i want to be. every other riddler has his pros, but this asshole has only cons and that's why he's top of my list so like please don't read this if you're gonna psychoanalyse me, i am at peace with my issues (can't wait to show this to my therapist)
Headcanons about Capullo!Riddler (w/female partner) request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff, heavy on the kinks, rough play, impact, slapping, choking, humiliation, degradation all that nasty shit i am projecting it onto this sideburned loser who i love with all of my soul nobody come at me for how i want to be treated at him
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domestic life
you're not so much a partner as you are a live in servant
your name is babe now
"babe will you get me a beer"
"babe will you pass me the remote"
"babe can you order us pizza?"
"babe can you come sit in my lap"
unintentional misogyny is rife
better invest in thick pants or something because anytime you walk by him your ass is getting smacked
needs you to tell him how talented and smart and handsome and charming he is at least 20 times each day
his needs have to come first because "i'm the riddler and i'm super important you wouldn't understand"
has to be talked down from asking every hot person you see if they wanna have a threesome with you guys
pisses with the door open constantly
follows you around like a lost puppy because he needs attention/closeness/not to be alone with his thoughts
he won't cook or clean or do any kind of domestic chore because that's your job because what else are you bringing to the table
he will make fun of you for participating in hobbies he thinks are dumb
but god help you if you imply at any point that his obsession with batman is unhealthy and really dorky and bordering on a crush
he will go in a huff
he goes in huffs a lot
man is permanently pouting and upset
definition of 'can dish it out but can't take it'
he has two modes for asking you to pay attention to him
demanding and rude
whiny and pathetic
sometimes he switches between both
if he thinks he's ever crossed a line and really pissed you off (which is rare) he will try to make it up to you
but he's shitty at it
he'll bump his head against you like a cat repeating "i'm sorry" until you're so annoyed that you forgive him to get him to shut up
he thinks burps are super funny because mentally he's fuckin 12
sex life
he's super horny, like all the time, concerningly so
like if you don't have the energy to fuck, you could at least sit in his lap and participate in some cock-warming, god
he'll eat pussy once a month, but he expects his dick to be sucked twice daily
he's super into dishing out some humiliation and degrading his partner
gives him an ego boost
because he's super self-conscious
mostly about his dick size
loves being a bit physically violent during sex
hair pulling, face slapping, grabbing and biting
spanking for sure
likes being called daddy/master/sir
anything that denotes him as an authority figure
surprisingly encouraging though
will dole out some praise if he thinks you deserve it
never says you're beautiful or pretty or gorgeous
but tells you you're hot all the time
super into free use, since you're there y'know
that's really all you're good for to him
will fuck you until he cums and not even check to see if you finished
rolls over and falls asleep straight away
he also snores
insists on getting nudes sent from you if he's away from you for an hour
boasts about how good he is at fucking in front of everyone and anyone
and you have to agree
which you do
and it's the only time he ever says thank you
but only in private
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imanes · 8 months
Note
hi imane! i hope ur doing well <3 i just wanted to ask: what do you do during times of uncertainty? im a uni student abt to go on placement and I've been applying for part-time jobs that's centred around my field but to no avail sadly :/ i wanted to save up at least so i wouldn't stress during placement and everything's so overwhelming.. there are other external factors that's making me feel this way too like a friendship break-up i had few months ago and its affected me quite badly but im starting to pick myself up again. anyways sorry for the rant and i hope ur day is lovely x
hey! just sat down after hours of procrastination to work on my dissertation and i wish i were done already akjdkfgj but it could be worse!! ok it's gonna be long and probs unhelpful but i know that you wanted to vent more than you thought i was holding some solution so I'll just ramble and hope something resonates with you lmao <3
for me uncertainty makes me feel like my life is in shambles, it's hard to cope with things going south and not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but during my yearly flop era in march/april i had a talk with a friend who's much older, wiser, and more experimented, and basically it helped me put things into perspective and learn how to let go. there are only so many things that you can control so i split my different issues into different categories for a more systemic approach to my problems lol: things that i can actually somewhat control (my emotions, my reactions, my efforts, what i can do moving forward to alleviate some of my stress), things that are out of my control (how people misconstrue me, external stressors like shitty coworkers, refusals from jobs i was applying for) and things (and people) that i don't need in my life. learning to let go of things for me internationally infamous control freak was not easy but it was liberating, idk if you're religious so if you aren't the next part isn't going to be helpful lol but i don't think i should be chasing things because i am exactly where i am meant to be, and if i start clutching at the things that aren't meant to be in my life, it's just my ego getting in the way, and i prayed that Allah just lets me find the place that i would fit better in and that He'd take me away from it if i wasn't going to be doing or feeling good there. i guess the non-religious version would just be to trust the process and understand that things in life wax and wane, whether it be job opportunities or relationships. obviously there's like a plethora of other factors like what do i do if i can't pay the bills and stuff? that was how i was thinking just a couple of months ago when my dissertation was not writing itself and nobody was hiring me! but a few weeks have passed and looking back on it i was starting to chase things again and it made me feel like i was stuck in a rut when in fact it's normal for things to take some time to settle down and for opportunities to arrive.
so basically whether you stress about it or not, literally nothing is going to change except the way you frame it in your head. for me i just continued applying and gave interviews my all while also being detached enough to simply trust myself to find the space that i was meant to occupy eventually, and after many many many rejections i finally found something a week ago, but it took a couple of months of steady job application to get there. looking from the other side of the mirror it's easy to say things like "don't get discouraged!" but it is true that if you keep throwing shit at a wall something's going to eventually stick, hence the power of consistency and of never giving up.
i'm glad you're slowly building yourself back up after your friendship break-up, i know how much it can drag you down but again some people are meant to be with you for a season only and at the end of the day with the effect of time making things more bearable and by working on your self-esteem and knowing that you can do things that you set your mind to, whether it is finding a part-time job or picking yourself back up, in a few weeks you're gonna look back on where you were mentally at when you sent me this message and where you'll be then and you'll thing "well i guess things DO pass huh who would've thought!!" lol life is a cycle of stability and unsteadiness, doesn't matter how much you prepare something's always going to go sideways but another truth is that things fall back into place again and you have to have faith in that, in yourself, and maybe in something else like i am w/ my relation to religion if u need extra help. speaking of help if you have a support system, confide in them and let them carry some of that weight for you!! you'd do the same for them so don't feel like you're a burden for needing help when you are facing instability. wishing you the best of luck and i really hope you find a good part-time job before your placement babe
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dmclemblems · 1 year
Note
Another thing worth mentioning about Claude's relationship with his parents: despite his feelings of admiration for his mother and despite remembering the bedtime stories his father told him, he still never writes to them. He can contact Nader no problemo (can even have him IN FODLAN, and for extended periods of time!), but his supports with Hilda also show off that he's so disconnected from his parents he's actually not even sure they're still alive.
Claude: Well, that's a fine thing to do, regardless of your reasons. As for me, it's been far too long since I've written to my parents...
Hilda: Oh? I thought your father had died.
Claude: Not quite. He's still alive and kicking...as far as I know. 
So on top of the Horse Incident... the "deal with the assassins yourself tiny child" thing... the fact that Claude ran away without telling his dad (if we go by Hopes) and without his mom seeming to give a shit that he's leaving all by himself... the act that going by Hopes Daddy-o is doing Literally Nothing about his children trying to violently invade his lover's homeland, and nothing about his children trying to murder each other for his throne... yeah these two are incredibly shitty parents, Gilbert could never dream of being this bad lmao.
But like, I also kinda like how... real? I guess? Claude's reaction to this is. He loves his parents, and he'll have open admiration for at least his mother, but then he starts talking about the other stuff and it's like "oh, that sounds like an abuse victim." Hearing him talk about how he "deserved" to either be dragged around by a horse or helplessly tied to its saddle as it runs around (depending on which version) shocked me when I first heard it, because "I was being bad I deserved to get hit by my parents" is such a huge red flag hearing someone say.
Plus how fondly he looks back on that memory - like you said, he was probably so elated to have his parents pay attention to him that the means in what they did so literally meant nothing to him (and could also tie into why he remembered those bedtime stories so well; another rare moment of his parent's attention being given to him) And him making the active effort to not talk to his parents once he ran away makes it so much worse, and hearing him still hold such fondness for them anyway in his A support with Byleth is almost more sad than it is endearing.
I'm honestly also surprised that the fandom just never acknowledges this? They act like Claude's parents are so cool for the most part, when his are legit some of the worst 3H has to offer and he's such a clear case of an abused child it's not even funny.
For real lol. People bash Gilbert for leaving his family while completely ignoring all the context about why. Meanwhile they celebrate badass Almyran king and queen despite that they’re horrible to Claude and probably all of their children as far as the king goes.
I also appreciate how Claude’s situation is complicated regarding his parents. Even abused children can still love their parents and it’s a very difficult situation. It’s a cycle of being abused then the parents will do something nice for the child, and that child believes they love them now and will be nice to them going forward. When that doesn’t happen, they remember the good things and try to tell themselves that their parents aren’t all bad and that there’s good in there. They love them for the nice things they do and tend to want more of it, so they stick around hoping to see that more.
Once Claude got old enough I’d imagine he probably realized it wasn’t normal and decided enough was enough. Even if he just wanted attention from his parents, I’m sure he could only take so much of what he went through between the assassinations and nobody really caring about him. Hilda was right to be shocked and horrified at what Claude went through, because that’s just... not normal. Also, if a child comes to believe they deserved the treatment, it’s because the parents made them think they deserved it and the child starts to accept it even if the punishment is reprehensible.
Even though Claude tends to brush this stuff off like it’s all in the past, it’s clearly affected him and his ability to trust people and form emotional connections. Like I said above, he remembers the good things fondly because it was the only positive attention he could get. He doesn’t fondly remember being punished and just speaks casually of it, but he shows no happiness for it. I’m sure Tiana does love him, but it also sounds like she either is afraid to go against her husband’s ways or just changed for the worse. Maybe the king does also love Claude, but it doesn’t excuse how terribly he treated him. Fact is, you’re only a child once and once you’re scarred from your childhood, you can’t just fix that.
Him not talking to his parents after leaving is a good step forward for him tbh. Cutting off contact regardless of how “sad” they might be is what you have to do in that situation. It’s like when toxic parents want their children to live with them to use them for selfish reasons, and they gaslight their kids so they can get what they want and be controlling. In that situation all you can really do is cut them out of your life. Of course, there’s always the whole giving them another chance in the future kind of thing, but if they continue acting like that then you cut them out permanently.
In Claude’s case I think he did the right thing to leave his father hanging like that, because boo hoo the king is so sad he can’t rule properly, but how do we not know that wasn’t intentional acting so that hopefully the information would reach Claude that he was acting like that? Maybe he could make Claude feel bad and come home... and the cycle would just continue. When parents act sad like that and “miss” their child despite having previously abused them in any form, it’s usually meant to manipulate the child’s emotions and make them come back. If your kids are trying to kill each other for whatever reason, how does that not make you more depressed than your most abused and bullied child running away from home and getting away from all that?
Personally I never found his stories about his life to be endearing. I found all of it to be depressing and upsetting. He may be older in the time of the game and know how to better manage that stuff, but it’s always worth noting that he was just a little boy when all this happened to him. Kids can get scared so easily and yet he acts like none of it actually really affected him, despite that any child being put through all that would traumatize them. All of that shows in his personality through his relationships and his inability to notice he’s pressing too hard on someone’s emotions until after it’s already done. He’s literally still in the learning process of how to understand other people’s emotions at the age of 18.
Having any fond memories of his abusers is exactly what a lot of abuse victims go through. I’m honestly shocked most of the fandom doesn’t look at his experiences as being legitimately terrible. His parents aren’t cool or badass. They’re terrible parents and not people who even deserve to call him their child. They certainly didn’t treat him like parents should treat their children. No child should be growing up in those circumstances.
The funny thing about the whole “bad parent” thing with Fodlan’s parents is that with Faerghus, they’re not only pretty decent parents, but then you get Matthias, who, well, more or less neglected his children (rather than abused them). Difference being, in Hopes he actually admits to knowing he was a bad father to Sylvain (and presumably Miklan who is still alive and well in that timeline as it’s GW he says this to Sylvain in). Then you have Lambert, who Rodrigue believes Dimitri losing would be horrible for Dimitri. Lambert decides that if he does die, he can safely leave Dimitri to Rodrigue. He had an idea, some sort of plan, if he were to die where his child would be safely in the care of someone who loved him. Rodrigue loved Glenn so much that he never stopped looking for answers about Duscur, coming across all kinds of valuable information about things that didn’t concern Glenn simply because he was distraught and had to know why his son had to die that day (and no, it wasn’t because he was a true knight. That was Rodrigue’s distressed way of coping. When he was in a better state of mind, he investigated the situation to get real answers. That’s the proof he wasn’t satisfied with the idea of leaving it at “Glenn was just doing his job”). Regarding Felix, Felix was the one who didn’t want to talk to Rodrigue, so Rodrigue backed off and let his son have space, but always looked out for him and tried to get closer to him. There was only so much he could do, but he did what little he could because he cared about Felix, even if Felix would walk away mad. Rodrigue just wanted his son in good hands.
That’s a pretty massive contrast to leaving your child vulnerable to assassins who are also partially your other children by not protecting him. Faerghus’ fathers would 110% absolutely have someone’s head for trying to harm their child, much less kill their child. No child deserves to have to fight their own battles, and no child deserves to have to rely on themselves to survive. Even with animals, you see the mother raise her young until they’re old enough to leave their home. Birds, cats, rabbits, you name it. They take care of their babies and keep them safe at home until they’re old enough to wander and get their own food and live outside of a confined area for their safety. It’s pretty much instinctual.
If Claude were real, all the stuff he went through would be such a big deal. I wish more people saw that because it’s good writing as far as Claude is concerned, but it also means his parents weren’t as amazing as other people say they are. Notice how it’s always other characters talking about how great they are, but Claude never has very good things to say about them that extend beyond basically “look they gave me attention once or twice every half a year”.
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thessalian · 26 days
Text
Thess vs A CrapSack World
So basically the world is really, really fucked up right now. I can bullet-point a lot of it, or at least I can try.
GENOCIDE BAD, OKAY?
And across the pond from me... Not seeing nearly enough about the fact that "old white dude quietly trying to get shit done as leader of his country but also maintaining the status quo on genocide" is still better than "old orange-ish dude who will destroy your fucking country and exacerbate the genocide if you let him get in again"
Apparently standing up and shouting "GENOCIDE BAD" is enough to panic people in this country so hard that folks are spinning fantasies about some Israeli Deep State controlling all of us (yes, actual government officials are saying this shit, and not even really getting condemned for it - look up Lee Anderson sometime) and start hinting at new anti-protest legislation (as if we didn't have enough of that) because "mob rule is replacing democratic rule". Says the man who nobody voted for.
Everything is way too expensive. And is only getting more and more expensive as time goes on - especially here, since we're having the worst effects of Brexit hitting us in stages and we're just about at the worst of it now.
The wealthy are blaming us for not wanting to work too hard for too little money, and for not buying enough to keep industries running, and generally fucking over everybody to keep their profit margins going ever-upwards. I can almost see the upcoming destruction of the bubble, but apparently we're going to go into "dynamic pricing" first, to make us pay more even for essentials depending on some AI's idea of when they can fleece us the most. Basically I'm tired of being a money-stuffed pinata to be beaten on by our corporate overlords until cash comes out.
On a personal note, I just had to register for postal voting and have no the fuck idea who I should be voting for because for fuck's sake, they're all as bad as each other at that point. I could probably focus on my constituency, but this is such a safe Labour seat that it barely even matters. Still, I'm not going to hike up a fucking hill to exercise my democratic rights, even if I don't know if there's anyone I can actually in all good conscience vote for.
Further personal note: just about every fucking part of the government seems to hate trans people. They all seem to be making the statement about "I know what a man is and I know what a woman is and there is no confusion about that", with the underlying suggestion of "man = penis, woman = vulva", which ... dear gods. We've got people asking, "Were the two kids who murdered a trans pupil really evil?" like, "Yeah, they fucking killed somebody, but ... well, it was only one of those..."
Final personal note: I am still so fucking tired of being disabled. I want to go out to the yarn store in my area, because ... y'know, good yarn, learning to crochet, yadda. Plus some other errands - I need gluten-free pasta, which they ran out of for my big monthly grocery order, and some other stuff. But I'm having to plan this entire trip in the most strategic way you can imagine because ... well, pain. I am so tired of having pain.
So there's all of ... y'know. This. And sometimes I don't know how I don't just despair myself into the ground. Because I can't do anything about most of this. Hell, I can't do anything about any of this. It just sits there, being shitty.
However. I had a really helpful therapist once, after I had my really major breakdown, and she said that the whole thing where I was grabbing at anything that might have the remotest chance of making me even briefly happy was a good instinct, and I just had to learn to do it more consciously. So. As small and shallow as some of these things are, here are my things right now:
I have the most awesome friends.
On the subject of friends, I have D&D nights.
I have pretty decent parentals, all told.
I have a new-old book (an old favourite I haven't read in a long time, and picked up for my Kindle recently)
I have a week off work, so I can recover a bit from the ow.
I have the first game I've pre-ordered since Dredge, which will be available in just over two weeks.
I have a trip to the yarn store ... and the yarn store has a shop cat.
That'll do for the time being. It may not seem like much, but it's a good bulwark between me and despair. I remember enough about my really major breakdown to know I really need those.
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smilepal · 2 years
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OC Interview Questions 
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Thanks for tagging me @jacksothereye--this was really fun!! 💖
Tagging: Anyone who sees this and wants to do it--can't wait to hear about your characters~
(screenshot by @cayennenpopsicles 🥰)
---
Name?  
Why? You a badge? 'S'Hiro. You don't need my last name.
Are you single? 
Nosy, aren't you? Couldn't afford me, sweetheart.
Are you happy? 
As much as I can be in Night City. That's all relative. Happier than I was before, that's for shit sure. I'd be a hell of a lot happier with a nice fat paycheck. Merc work pays the bills but not well enough. Least not enough for any real security.
Are you angry?
Who isn't? There isn't a single person here who's perfectly happy with their lot, and if they tell you that, they're lying. People always want more. And sure maybe I resent what I've been dealt, but doesn't do me much good. I'd waste a lot of time I could be spending on other stuff.
Are your parents still married?
They never were in the first place. And don't think being dead changed that. Don't think it would have changed much, died when I was six anyway. 'F we're being honest they were pretty shitty--neck deep in the Claws and landed me there too. Can't help but think I'd have more choices if they hadn't made that one for me.
=NINE FACTS=
Birth place?  
I was born in Kabuki, in those slum houses by the docks. I think the old place is still there--someone else is probably squatting in it now. They can have it though, not a whole lot of fondness towards it. Liked the view of the city from there, though. Seemed like some theme park, lit up across the water.
Hair color?
Black, I dye it on occasion. I've had it pink, and blue before but the black is less of a hassle. Goes with more.
Eye color?
They used to be brown, till I got blue optics. I was sick of my old man looking back at me. They're the nice kind--don't do much in the way of combat but they look pretty.
Birthday?
I don't know. Misty said I gave off Scorpio vibes, what ever that's supposed to mean. I picked October 31st. I've always liked Halloween, and it felt like a good fit.
Mood?
Mm it's alright. It'll get better later. I'm going out for a drink and dancing later, and nobody's stopping me. I set my own schedule, so nobody can complain if I crawl out of bed at noon. Good luck finding an early-bird merc.
Gender?
Male. It's Not something I spend a lot of time thinking about. I wear what I feel good in, and that's all there is to it.
Summer or winter?
Summer, always. I hate wearing too many layers. I'd rather sunbathe any day. I've never actually seen snow, so guess I'd like to see it at least once. Preferrably holding something hot to drink.
Morning or afternoon?
Morning, after an-all nighter. There's something about the hours before dawn, sitting in some diner with a coffee and a piece of pie, and things feel like they make sense, least for a while. Been going to Tom's diner, and he'll slip me a free piece, or another mug of coffee sometimes. S'the little things I guess.
=EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE=
Are you in love?
On average, how many drinks do you think it'll take me to answer this?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not really. Attraction, yeah. The whole 'love on first sight' thing is a bunch of shit though. More like, you're in love with the idea you've created of someone. Not gonna really know what they're like for a while. I guess if you're willing to gamble that, it's on you. 
Who ended your last relationship? 
I don't do relationships. They're messy and just lead to problems. Flings or friends with benefits are more my style. I need that freedom, and not some dirty secret. It's just how it is. Could see some sort of open relationship, if the other party was open.
Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Have you seen this face? Of course I have.
Are you afraid of commitments?
Can't be afraid of them if you never make them. Think it's less about commitment, and more about not trusting anyone like that. Trusting people blindly only gets you in trouble. City chews you up if you're that naive, and people don't look twice--take advantage of that.
Have you hugged someone within the last week?
Yeah, I hugged Judy. She was sad over some breakup. Told her she deserved better and she started crying harder. But the hug helped, I think? Listen I'm not the guy to ask for relationship advice, okay? Other sorts maybe, but I don't think it was the kind she was looking for.
Have you ever had a secret admirer?
If I knew they wouldn't be secret anymore, would they? I don't remember having one that's ever confessed to me. Guess it's possible though.
Have you ever broken your own heart?
Not romantically. There were a lot of people in my life that I thought I could trust, and that came back to get me later. It's one of the things I regret the most. Could have saved myself a lot of hurt, and horrible decisions, if I'd trusted myself more, or had enough common sense. People take advantage of that, if they think they can.
=SIX CHOICES=
Love or lust?  
Lust. Was in that business for years and it's something I understand better than a lot of things. It's predictable, familiar almost. I wouldn't call it comforting but at least I know what to expect. It's unusual when someone manages to surprise you.
Lemonade or iced tea?
Have to go with lemonade, don't like tea. I like mine sparkling. 'Course, coffee would be my choice every time, whether it's hot or iced.
Cats or dogs?
Cats. I have two of the monsters and they're spoiled rotten, and eat better than I do. They are cute though, I suppose. Most of the dogs I've met have either been the snarling guard dogs that some of the gangoons have, or the tiny, loud things the Corpo ladies carry in their purses, so my first impressions aren't great.
A few best friends or many regular friends? 
I’d rather have a few best friends who I know I can trust. Doesn’t get much more valuable than that, and true friends are rarer than gold in the City. It’s easier when you have someone who you know will watch your back, instead of sticking a knife in it when it suits them.
Wild night out or romantic night in?
Both? Listen I like a night out much as anyone else—crave one sometimes, being able to escape into a wall of noise and just forget, or find other distractions. But a quiet night home, some take out and a cat curled in your lap, is a good thing too. Depends on the day, I guess.
Day or night?
Night. Don’t wake up till noon, or until I’ve had at least two cups of coffee. Preferably without someone trying to talk to me. They start to blend together a bit for me, I’ll admit. Never claimed to have the healthiest relationship with sleep but it’s the least of my troubles.
=FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS=
Been caught sneaking out?
Out of my house? No. If you mean ‘sneaking out’ as in ‘attempting to defect from an angry gang that’s now after your blood’, yes. Long story
Fallen down/up the stairs?
Who hasn’t? Not down but tripped up them a couple times, especially when you have a cat between your legs. Surprised I don’t have a broken neck from the bastards.
Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?
Yes.
Wanted to disappear?
No. I was gone for years. And you start to get it in your head that not one person would be looking for you. People slip between the cracks easily, and you don’t miss ‘em, sometimes don’t realize they were there to start with. Try keeping your eyes open next time, yeah?
=FOUR PREFERENCES=
Smile or eyes?
Eyes. They hide less
Shorter or taller? 
Taller. That’s pretty much everyone though, so that shouldn’t be a shock.
Intelligence or attraction?
Both? Neither? Listen, when you’re crawling into bed with a tatted-ex Claw, I’m probably questioning your intelligence slightly. Or just assuming an boatload of confidence. Not like I can talk though. So guess would have to say attraction.
Hook-up or relationship?
Hook-ups. Less messy, and no attachments
=FAMILY=
Do you and your family get along?
Well my parents are dead, and my older brother abandoned me when I was six. So no, we’re not ‘getting along’. Could have other siblings I don’t know about but never met ‘em.
Would you say you have a “messed up life”?
Everyone’s life is a different degree of fucked here. Difference is whether you’re willing enough to screw people over to get what you want, or the person getting screwed. It was the second for most of my life, so think that qualifies. Better now but that’s all relative.
Have you ever run away from home?
Yes. Didn’t last long. The second time stuck, and wasn’t gonna get a third chance
Have you ever gotten kicked out?
Of a couple apartments, yeah. Ex-friends showing up are bad for property value, who knew? ‘Course they’re usually friends with lots of guns, and a goal in mind, so can’t say I blame them.
=FRIENDS=
Do you secretly hate one of your friends?
If they’re stubborn enough to stick around and actually be considered a friend, no I don’t hate them. Got plenty of enemies that fill that roll just fine.
Do you consider all of your friends good friends? 
Not really. Most are casual. This isn’t the easiest place to come by a best friend, unless you have enough money to bribe them with
Who is your best friend? 
Jackie. Was, I guess. Brave, good kid to his mom and the kind of person that never lasts long here.
Who knows everything about you?
Nobody. I’m keeping it that way.
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saltygilmores · 1 year
Text
Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 6 ("Presenting Lorelai Gilmore") Part 1
Read all previous commentaries here. Jess is here. And inside that comically large sack of stuff he bought in, he is carrying The Agonies. Okay, let's not panic, we have some breathing room in early season 2, because in some of the early Jess episodes it looks like they weren't quite sure what to do with him yet and would just kinda stick him in the first or last minute of the episode showing him wiping down tables at the diner and stuff. But The Agonies are coming. Rory: In the future am I going to be working at CNN or just walking around their offices carrying a basket of sandwiches? That second thing.
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Swing and A Miss, Netflix Captioner. Jessay! "I'm sorry I'm late to work Uncle Luke but since you're apparently in no rush to to give me my own bedroom this is the only time of day I get a chance to jerk off." Lorelai: Gross t-shirt. Nobody asked you. We see Emily gossiping with her DAR biddies. There's a chill in the air. Evil is afoot. Rory shows up at the Biddy Conference to pick up a book from Richard, blissfully unaware of the hell that will soon be unleashed upon her. The biddies descend on Rory, and our sweet, naive summer child has soon voluntarily accepted to "come out" at the debuntate ball.
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Good for you honey. Does Paris know? Lorelai: Rory, do you know what a coming out party says? It says "Hi, I'm Rory, I'm of good breeding and marriagable age and I will now parade around in front of young men of similary good breeding and marriagable age so they can all take a good long look at me. Like animals being up for bid at the county fair." Dean & Lane got married (and pregnant) when they were 19 and Logan proposed to Rory when she was 21 so being a breedable marriagable teenager is kind of par for the course in The Hollow. A bridal auction sounds like an idea right up Taylor Doose's alley, don't give him any ideas. Rory: It says your father is supposed to present you at the ceremony. Aw, god damn it! I was fully prepared for Forrester being an intregral part of this episode but I once again did not anticipate the arrival of CrustyPher and the horrors are flooding back. It's going to be an AssClown Double Feature!
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Pictured: The Horror. Is this a cosmic joke, a curse upon me, for saying "Thank God Lorelai didn't call Christopher again" at the end of my last review? Christopher makes a joke that Lorelai called him because all of her "976 numbers were busy". Okay, that joke even went partially over my crusty Millennial ass at first because I've only ever heard of people saying "900 numbers". He meant a phone sex hotline. The gymnastics that AmyShermanPalladino performed to insert subtle dirty jokes into this show under the radar are nothing short of breathtaking. Is that why Lorelai doesn't pay Luke for her coffee? Because she's in debt over over a crushing phone sex hotline addiction? Miss Patty entertains the gents who call the Stars Hollow phone sex hotline and Kirk is for the ladies.
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I'm sorry I'm just trying to distract myself from the Upcoming Horrors. Lorelai: This is very important to your daughter and she has never asked you for anything, and although your constant non presence in her life and your lack of ever showing up when you promise to be there or calling when you say you're going to call or basically doing anything you promise to do would tend to indicate that you owe her big time, and before you say no, I want you to take a minute to remember you have a great daughter and she has a mother who will hunt you down like a half price Kate Spade purse if you disappoint her. Wow that is so terribly sad. Rip him a new asshole Lorelai!
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Not this assclown smiling clownily while the mother of his child rips into him for being a shitty father. Crustypher blows Lorelai's mind when he actually agrees to escort Rory to the cotillion. The hilariously vague Netflix description of this episode reads "Lorelai finds herself attracted to a changed man." I'm nervous. The Horrors, they are upon us now.
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Oh hey there's Dean's self portrait behind the couch. And now for your favorite game and mine, "Bargaining WIth Buttheads."
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Prince Charming here didn't have his nap and bottle today so he's having a widdle shitfit. He's gonna give Wory a widdle utlimatum before he agrees to escort her to the ball.
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This seems like a bizarre, lopsided compromise. He'll dress up in a coat and tails and go to a frigging cotillion as long as she watches some dumb tv show with him for the next month...? You held all the chips in this bargain, buddy. You could have asked for a handjob. At least a handjob. Maybe even two. Maybe DURING Battlebots. Maybe then you wouldn't be so cranky. I'm spearheading a new initiative called Handjobs For The Hollow. More handjobs all around for the men in The Hollow to mellow them out.
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I'm not a religious person, but leave poor God out of this.
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Rory:"Is it a sack filled with 16 years of back child support payments?"
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Rory needs to take that thing, bludgeon Crusty, then go inside and bludgeon Dean. An opportunity like this rarely presents it self more than once.
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I'm just saying, Jack Pearson died saving his family from a house fire.
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Me: Lorelai, you're going to end up the subject of a true crime podcast. Lorelai: What's a podcast? Me: Nevermind...
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Oooh, shopping bags. Looks like someone Escaped The Hollow And Visited The Real World™ Swell, even Richard is being a dickhead too. Get your peanuts, get your popcorn, It's a Three Ring Butt Circus and all the clowns are present and accounted for.
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It's the Waltz Of The Sugarplum Buttheads.
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Oh please do go on Crusty...Enlighten us with your crusty widsom...so, yeah while you're doing that, I'm just going to be...over here. Doing...stuff.
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He always looks chronically constipated. Someone had to say it.
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This cannot be good.
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As always, Miss Patty has no chill. She is my hero.
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Please tell me she poisoned his latte when he had his back turned. Lorelai: Asking Luke to make a chai anything is insane. Crusty: I think he just threw a cinnamon stick in some tea. Lorelai: It wasn't a cinnamon stick. Ah, so Luke poisoned his drink. My good man.
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Damn. So close :(
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Fascinating. Just fascinating. Do go on. I'm just going to be over there...buying some popcorn... Crusty sits Lorelai down to mansplain what a job is. See, it's this thing where you go to the same place every day, and then at the end of the day you feel like you've done something and earned something. My man Crusty here didn't think he'd like having one of these job things, but shucks, he was pleased to discover that he "quite enjoys the stability." Jack Pearson also went back into a burning house to save the dog. I'm just saying.
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What a pity that David Sutcliffe and his character are both complete tools because honestly, he was really cute. Lorelai and Crusty turn around to see Dean about to hurl Rory to the ground inside Miss Patty's.
He can't kiss, he has no rhythm, he's not attractive, he's dull, he's mean, and he's not very smart, but damn, the ladies love Dean for some reason, especially Rory's mom.
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Crusty and Dean searching for their reflections in the mirror and coming up empty because they're ButtVampires.
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Tie it nice and tight, Crusty. Lorelai, mocking high society debutantes: Idk how Rory is ever going to make it in society! She's going to get a job and only get married once! Well, Lorelai is no Miss Cleo, that's for sure.
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Lorelai: My parents are openly fighting. They've never done that before. What should I do? Crusty: Move to California, that's what I do when my parents fight. That sentence doesn't make any sense. Sounds like The Male Gilmore Girls Characters California Wormhole (which has at one point or another swallowed Max, Jess, and Dave Rygalski) sucked up another victim but unfortunately It didn't like how he tasted and spit him back out to Connecticut.
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But just like your promises to your daughter, you didn't keep your word and let us all down by not having one. Crusty: I have to stay up to do work. Lorelai: *laughs* Sorry, I keep forgetting that's not a joke anymore. Jack Pearson served in Vietnam, I'm just saying.
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remcycl333 · 2 years
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Hello rem. I hope you answer my ask because I think nobody else is gonna. My sc has been really well for the past few days and today it kind of broke down. I tried being not that person who always keeps asking what am I doing wrong or what more can I do. But today I'm seeking help too. Today I realised it's been almost 3 months since I went for my classes because I've been trying the void and failing and now I have lost count of days and months. I didn't have anyone as friends there in my college but I did have people I used to hangout with. I was thinking hey I'm revamping everything so it doesn't matter and then I kind of completely ghosted them out and I was actually afraid I would run into one of them someday because we all live in the same city (yes I'm aware my thoughts created that). I literally have been living a double life. And even though I have successfully managed to escape seeing them 5-6 times sneakily, today one of them saw me and came upto me to talk. I was really nervous throughout the whole interaction because that meant I would've had to explain stuff in case they ask. She didn't ask anything except for what I'm doing now. That shook me to my core. Because apparently they all think I left college and is somewhere else now. No-one including my parents and people I live in that is except for my classmates know I've been bunking classes for like 3 months. Idk what to do. I was planning on entering the void again tonight but somehow that interaction stirred something up in me, almost feeling stupid because that college I'm in now where I'm bunking classes, I manifested that. So that's a shame. I don't have anyone to talk this with and its all on me. If I accept this shitty reality then I'll be a manipulator and considered an ungrateful bitch and a shitty person. I know I'm not. I cannot give up because I don't want to give in to this reality because it's gonna suck really hard. Been trying to hold on but oh my god I feel like it's a dead end. What should I do? It's time for us to pay the fee for this semester and if I don't tell my parents about it everything is gonna turn into a big mess. I'm running out of time. I should enter the void asap. Otherwise I don't know how long I'll be able to live this double life for. I don't want to manifest the usual way because I honestly don't know when the 3d is gonna show that up. I know I shouldn't be concerned about time but I cannot not be because thats the environment here. It's like trying to revise someone's death while being at their funeral. Then again I'm thinking is it possible for me to be that delusional? I don't even care I ranted because I just needed to get it off my chest and its been weighing me down heavily. What should I do? Is there anything you can tell me which can get me out of this mental image? I really really really want to enter the void and infact I'm going to tonight. But to think I've been living like this for 3 months is terrible. Please tell me honestly what I should do?
If you read till here, that itself is a big thing. Thank you for hearing me out. Now can you please help me out by telling me what to do?
hi love!! you can deal with your current reality and still continue to manifest your dream life! tell your parents about the fees before you create even more stress for yourself. then work on your self concept!!! affirm your life is perfect and your 3D conforms instantly. if you really really want to enter the void, put in the work!! you can try the 10k affirmations challenge and affirm for your void concept. saturate your mind with the idea that you can get into the void with ease and that your getting in tonight for a fact. i’m hoping that through sending this ask you were able to get a lot off your chest!! but continuing forward you have to stop complaining and acknowledging all of the stuff you don’t want, bc by doing so you’re manifesting more of it in your reality. you can manifest some things in your 3D being better—such as your relationships with your friends—and still work on getting into the void. you don’t have to choose one or the other!! hopefully through affirming and saturating your mind you can bring back some of your hope. and stop taking no as an answer!!! u can get in the void TONIGHT if u put ur foot down. if you really want it i recommend you put in the effort to work on your void concept!!!
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