#nobody was hurt in the process

[gaybitchfx]

gave my friend the meanest slap on the shoulder cause i was listening to a song i like

she returned that mean slap

so i lightly placed my hand on her shoulder and started squeezing ✨

#kay★rants #nobody was hurt in the process

[1mnobodywhoareyou]

Well dammit. Now I'm thinking about these boys and crying. Headcanon time, I guess:

Luke already cries readily so I don't think that he'd be very likely to break down sobbing when things got to be too much. But he does also put his stuff aside to support his friends when necessary and will feel his feels when it's appropriate which sometimes includes hiding them. But he cries and he finds ways to cry.

Reggie has been stuffing down SO MUCH and is always putting on a goofy front so when it overflows, it OVERFLOWS. And breakdowns happen. Sometimes in less than ideal situations but not super common. It's concerning but his friends hold him through it and he doesn't talk about it again.

Alex's emotions come out as irritation and snappiness first. It's maladaptive but also a bit anxiety. It's relatively quick to trigger but also release. Only when things have moved beyond overwhelming does he cry and it's almost always in private, not because he's hiding intentionally but that's just when things let loose (with few exceptions, like "I just died").

Bobby doesn't cry. He doesn't know if he knows how and sometimes wishes he could (he's envious of Luke's affinity for tears sometimes). Instead he always just feels like his chest wants to explode because there's nowhere for the feelings to go. He accidentally learns that he can physically release some of it, sometimes in healthy ways, sometimes less so.

#jatp #nobodys thoughts #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #bobby shaw #apparently i like to hurt these boys and that requires considering how they feel and process

[pinkbeeps]

#this isnt throwing them off a cliff because we dont like them btw #this is throwing them off a cliff for enrichment and fun #nobody will be hurt in the process 👌 #twst #twisted wonderland #dire crowley #azul ashengrotto #rook hunt #rollo flamm #artemiy artemiyevich pinker #azul please win this im BEGGING

[cxpperhead]

Contracts are regarded with utmost importance by Copperhead, obsessively so even. Accepting one and following it to the letter, carrying out his employer's wishes and accomplishing the task he's been set is the one thing he's dead set on, going to extreme lengths to see the job through until it has been completed. Part of the reason why is for Copperhead's own security and comfort, never wanting to feel like he owes anybody ever again but there are other reasons too, with Copperhead thinking of himself as the tool of his employer. They want somebody dead, enough to pay well for it to happen and so he carries out their will, acting in their stead when they cannot. Operating on another's behalf helps keep his bloodlust in check - or so Copperhead believes and he'll accept a contract from anybody who has the means to pay well if the job warrants his talents.

#🐍 || musings #🐍 || headcanons #Copperhead is obsessed about contracts seriously #Mostly for his peace of mind after his early years #Nobody going back on their word or wanting more out of him #It's a process that's served him well so far #Especially after he became an obvious mutant #Not many people are stupid enough to try changing the terms or going back on their word #Or worse betraying him #So yeah Copperhead likes contracts #He'll also accept contracts from just about anyone including children #Even if that payment is just a toy for killing their abuser/s #At that point it's the principle not the money :') #He has some weird beliefs though #He's an evil bastard through and through but the guilty party is the one who hired him #He's just their weapon #Copperhead: I don't like children and will stay away from them as much as I can #Kid: Please mister snake man can you help me? It's really important and you're scarier than the person who keeps hurting me #Copperhead: .... Go on

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

#well. i AM probably a monster for how much i dislike this lady #but i don't ACT on it #and i genuinely couldn't care less about her. i participate in decent human pleasantries because i am a decent human. #and at work we're stuck together #the thing that's irked me so much about this conversation is just.. her self centeredness #that she thinks everyone is out to get her. to undermine her. whatever. #bitch nobody cares about you enough one way or the other to put in that kind of effort. i sure don't #i empathize but i do not sympathize. to feel that pit that makes you feel like the worst kind of center of attention #i get it. but genuinely you are not the main character and no one is going to spend their limited time and energy to slowly attack you #you are not the cat with all the knives pointed at it #it's a terrible feeling to feel like you are! but when it influences your behavior to the point that you are making snide comments #to people who have no option not to interact with you then uh. then you're in the wrong buddy #and the people around you (who cannot easily leave! bc work!) should not have to bend over backwards to assure you #that they're not pointing knives at you. to protect themselves from your feelings making you say mean shit #like yes. i can be more clear with my intentions. i'm generally not the greatest at that. but my baseline that i want to #modify my behavior from is NOT one that a regular well adjusted person would take as anything but kind #and if a regular well adjusted person got a little offput by me volunteering to take work off their hands we would've had a very chill #3 sentence conversation about it MONTHS AGO. #i understand and respect (even if i find it annoying and overbearing) the need for me to announce my intentions like im working in a kitchen #and saying 'hot water' or 'knife' as i move around other people but we shouldn't have reached this conclusion this way #and frankly who's to fucking say me being more clear with my intentions will only feed the flames of her thinking i'm out to get her! #'i caught up on my stuff and your plate looks full. i'm bored. anything i can do to help?' could be a pointed knife for all i know!! #and if it is- and my actions still hurt her in that scenario- am i still responsible for the hurt caused?? #like WHERE DOES IT FUCKING E N D ? #personal #*exhales* okay i feel better now #i just hate talking about my interactions with her bc i just want NOTHING to do with it. i want her out of my head!! #but until i process it i can't let go #and i'm still going to have to go over all of this with my shrink tomorrow #it just makes me mad how much of my time this bitch takes up. i'm not getting paid to think about work right now!!!!

[pepprs]

anyways. i hit tag limit and now im going to go to bed late bc i have to clean the whole kitchen. but the last 48 hours have just been so emotionally intense and exhausting and painful. i relived july 5-29 2022 in 48 hours. and it was better than that ofc bc i wasn’t uhmmmm shut down and unable to express my feelings 😍😍😍😍😍😍 but it was still horrible and the worst is over but im still in so much emotional / mental pain rn and it’s gonna take a while to recover from that and i don’t have the emotional resources i need to do so obviously. yayyyyy 🥳

#purrs #delete later #the MMMMMORTIFYING. MORTIFYING. ordeal. of romy leaving the way she did. and never being able to recover from that so the wound has festered #only for someone else i love and cherish and depend on to leave. LIKE IFS INSANE TO ME. it is so crazymaking. i can’t withstand the pain of #it. but OF COURSE i can like they’re not d*ad or anything god forbid a million times they’re just moving on. but im just taking it so hard. #in ways that are so… unhealthy and abnormal and hard to carry and hard to live through. and again living in fear that it will happen one #more time and i’ll be truly alone then. but then it’s like silly tess pepprs you already WERE alone! because nobody can meet the four needs #except for you… or like a significant other if you could get around your psychic block 🥰 but yeah. i am not functioning well and i #don’t know how to get the relief and healing i need because it’s a process etc etc. i just wish this wasn’t happening. i feel so wounded and #bruised and horrible rn. like my heart physically hurts… ermmmmm 😳‼️ #also im namedropping at this point idec. i feel bad about it and i shouldn’t but imgonna give myself and my future self this one today LOL

[llycaons]

and like....a huge part of wwx’s character/desires even though it rarely comes though in his actual actions (bc he’s driven by things other than what he personally wants) is how deeply he wants to be part of a home and to belong somewhere, and to belong with someone. and this arose naturally due to his childhood but it keeps getting reinforced throughout each tragedy he encounters in the story as well

orphaned at such a young age, naturally he clung to LP and to the family he found there and to the community of people there....and later he threw everything he had into making the BM hospitable and the wens made it more comfortable for him by building him a place that reminded him of his old home...he loves so fiercely and so selflessly and every single family he’s had and every single home he’s had he’s lost to violence and destruction and misfortune and cruelty and he’s been abandoned, relentlessly, again and again and again, left to pick up the pieces and expected to deal with it all alone, rarely with anyone to comfort or reassure him. all this as a teenager/very young adult. all this. the fight that killed jxz was terrible for so many reasons, but one of the smallest details was the most painful - jin ling’s bracelet being destroyed, wwx being told you can never have this, you don’t belong with them. no wonder he was moved to tears when jiang yanli stepped in front of him to defend him to the jins. no wonder he took the estrangement with the jiangs so poorly. no wonder he craves returning to LP long after he believes it to be impossible

and that’s (one of the reasons) why lwj simply standing beside him and vowing to help him postres is so important to him. even if he can’t articulate it, even if he’s too used to solitude not to deny himself it out of habit. there’s a lot of things he wants but this reassurance from lwj satisfied a very deep need he’s had for a long time. to belong with someone, to be supported, to be able to rely on someone else and not do everything alone. something this basic, this foundational to him that he craves even as he reflexively rejects it

I do think he needed that journey at the end of the show but I also think once he’s done with it he’ll never want to be alone for that long again. I think postcanon wwx wants stability. a home. to belong to a place and to a community, and most importantly, to belong with a person, a partner who’s on his side. and I don’t know if that place will be CR but that person will definitely be lwj

#I didn;t know how to end this I started tearing up because I love him so bad and his story hurts so much #he's everything to me <3 #I want him to reconcile w his brother...I want him to spend time with jin ling....I want him to hang out with the wens... #I want him to be a very cherished and fulfilled and well-fed husband and I want him to go home to a place he knows will welcome him #I want him to be protected and defended by the people around him!! and not just lan teenagers!!! #I WANT HIM TO PROCESS HIS TRAUMA INSTEAD OF TRYING TO IGNORE IT!!!! #trying to move past it is great except he won't even dwell on it enough for that to be possible #he could use a little wallowing. maybe he needs to get it out #I feel like he's been unable to grieve for anyone since his parents died bc it wasn't his right or because #other people were more important and had to be prioritized or something #it's a particular cruelty that I don't think any other character is subjected to #I want HIM to be prioritized for once!! I want him to take care of himself and be talen care of!! #I want him to be able to grieve! he has like one scene w jyl but that's IT!!! #I want him to be able to express himself and know he won't be punished for it! I want him not to feel guilty about receiving affection! #<- when I get really into it I start channeling the spirit of lwj. but I can't help it he stresses me out so much and I love him to death #nobody ever sat down and said 'wow the way the jiang parents treated you while send you all away during the attack was really messed up #and its not true it wasn't your fault and you should have been protected' BUT NOBODY WILL. because he won't TELL anyone about it and jc #probably didn't even register since he was in a nightmare of his own #like I know jc and wwx love each other but jc does not have the emotional capacity to be who wwx needs....not even that it's a failing #on jc's part it's just too much of an emotional burden and he's not used to needing to handle it bc wwx lies about it #jc is not. suited for taking care of people to put it lightly. he tries. he does love. but he's...continuously led by his own needs/wants #and he seems to find it difficult to empathize with or prioritize others #and even when he does it's very. rough. agressive. I see glimmers of hope for the future in the final scene. he smiled!!! #but the way he;s been so far #which makes it nightmarishly difficult to maintain or create a relationship w him. even his siblings found it hard/draining #except jyl ig bc shes an ANGEL but if that was my brother. god id be tired all day #cql txp

[weirdo09]

:0

#cade’s things #cade’s thoughts 💭 #today sucked #like really sucked #as soon as i left school #i hate myself #what is this? #seasonal depression? #i hate this #i should just stop #i care too much #n it hurts #such a fuckin loser #vent in the tags #i just kinda wanna stop #i love too much n too hard #all i do #is hurt myself in the process #so stupid #nobody cares

[loz-tearsofahomo]

Am i the only one who finds great joy in the block button? Its like cutting people out of your life except without the hard feelings or confrontation???

#this makes me sound sadistic but i promise its not like that JDHDJD #its like no one is hurt in process and nobody needs to notice #you might be a cool person but we dont need to interact anymore #IDK #misc #og post

[tyrianlynch]

I’m in so much pain it’s honestly been hard to function at all these past few days but the people in my life can only hear that so many times before they’re tired of me so I’m shouting it into the void

#my legs hurt so much I’m limping everywhere #my arms hurt so much I can’t use my phone without a wrist rest #my back hurts so much that changing my position in bed or on the couch is a long and horrible process #I talked to my friend of 6 years yesterday and she said to me ‘I met someone whos in pain all the time’ #and I was like ‘haha is it me?’ and she said no that it was some guy from a class she’s taking #and he’s in pain all the time #and she asked if it was like that for me #and I love this friend of mine so much so dammit if that didn’t hurt #it’s a punch in the gut to realize that nobody really understands #I’ve been telling her about my pain for years pretty much since it started #and this whole time she hasn’t understood #so I explained that I’m in pain all of the time 24/7 and she just said ‘oh’ #chronic illness and disability is already so fucking isolating #and it’s really hard to have moments like that where I realize I’m completely alone in this #the only one who can really understand what I’m feeling is me #wah wah pity party etc etc #sorry #I’ll delete later I just needed to put this somewhere so it was no longer in my head

[astxrwar]

“eww i’m not going to tumblr because they’re too cringe, i’m going to suffer on this other site i dislike to avoid that :(((“ fool. coward. trying to avoid ever feeling or being cringe is like trying to avoid ever breaking a sweat or having to sneeze. welcome to a nonnegotiable part of the human existence: cringe. shut up

#ik most of the cringeposting is satirical but #in a way even that is cringe. which is fine! #i have a fic blog. cringeness is normal and good actually. it’s fine to be way into smth other ppl are not into #as long as nobody is getting hurt literally who cares how people act #n if ur that deeply affected by ppl not adhering to ur specific social rules how #are u even enjoying everyday life like. :| #im sorry you sound judgemental and insufferable as hell </3 #im sure most of that sentiment is coming from teenagers. which i understand i too was once a teenager #and unfortunately there’s no way to expedite the process of like. emotional maturation. except ig to lead by example #by wholeheartedly being as cringe as possible and embracing that passion in yourself and in others. even if it’s weird who cares #life is fleeting our happiness is all that matters <3

[septembersghost]

fwiw I would read your essay on the Memphis album ☺

😭 thank you honey, it's worth a lot

#i probably won't ever share it because it feels silly and emotional and nobody needs to see that #idk if it's an essay as much as it is a collection of thoughts about #the themes of the songs and the way it's structured and contrasts with the sonic styles and so on because it's got a lot of layers #opening with: i had to leave town for a little while... #the specific way he transforms only the strong survive #long black limousine being the first track recorded which. i. #such a powerhouse of a song but i cannot HEAR #there's a long line of mourners coming down our street; their fancy cars are such a sight to see #they're all of your rich friends that knew you in the city and now they finally brought you home to me #without crying #and conjuring up specific images of a procession of cars #it just makes my heart hurt so much. but still i listen #i'll never love another! oh my heart all my dreams ride with you in that long black limousine #that record is everything i love it so immensely #i'm giving him a grammy for aoty retroactively btw #again. i need a tag for these posts so you all don't have to be subject to them. the el files. #the fact that true love travels on a gravel road and any day now and gentle on my mind #and in the ghetto and power of my love and i'm movin' on and----all of them exist on the same record #(and TECHNICALLY suspicious minds and kentucky rain. insane) #the tracklist on the physical and on streaming are different but it's mind-blowing what came out of those sessions #revelatory and beautiful and sometimes so sad it's eerie #see? writing this out coherently would be too much probably #anonymous #letterbox

[pinkfilmcamera]

okay tw hard vent ig

#first let me start by saying i am in my pms so im sensitive #also im a year behind cuz i was born in the summer #anyway #man first of all fuck covid cuz it only made processing these things harder #literally having a breakdown cuz my last day is in 8 days #im in both my ‘she’s just trying to graduate’ and ‘has no idea what she’s doing in college phase’ #i feel that a lot of people might ridicule me for this but :( #i genuienly do not want to leave #its going to be so hard and im already drained from all the crying that’s going to happen #its so hard :( #im also literally doubting everything ive done in my life #and i keep beating myself up for wanting to write but not having any ideas/feeling completely unmotivated #also my existence here is absolutely pointless #sometimes talking to yourself is glorified #this is the moment where nobody by mitski hurts and its not a banger anymore #i feel so so shitty #not like anybody cares :/ #white ferrari — gee rants

[myork]

.

#im sorry i clearly need some time #im so happy for them and so happy for everybody who was able to process this in a healthy manner and now feel light and look forward #i cant #im so happy for them and im so happy they’re getting this time they deserve it but at the same time im so sad and i cant process these #emotions rn #ive been having terrible days that turned into weeks and then just the whiplash of laughing at their jokes to suddenly talking about the #hiatus and seeing jimin cry i just #idk what to do idk how to process this how to not feel so heartbroken like i wish i could’ve found them sooner just to make this last more #and i rlly love all of them and im here for all 7 of them but when they said they wont gather together like this for some it broke #something inside of and idk if im being dramatic but this is so hard for me and i have nobody to talk about this with #and idk im gonna go away for a while this is all people are talking about and its not comforting me #denial isn’t healthy but at least it wont hurt #my irl life is changing and i don’t respond well to change #the hardest part of my life till now was 2 years ago and thats i found them and now my life is changing big time and i can’t believe they #wont be together for it #they were the only thing i had that made me happy or made me feel ‘something’ once upon a time #and in a way they still are. #things are changing well a lot of things are and ig i don’t feel ready idk how to express it any better im sorry #i might gif the happy moments or the performance tomorrow but we’ll see 😞

[bimbopawz]

i feel bad, current self reflection includes i do miss everyone and feel bad and want to apologize and everything, but i'm processing in like. reverse so i can't even be as heartfelt as i wish i could be

#val barks #sorry Valeria fictive posting again /silly #cause i process in even before season ended i felt terrible for hurting Hope #and yes it started cause in-game the npc one called my Valy and it made me miss that sibling nickname shut #but hell i admit despite researching and all *i* had no clue everything would. happen like it did #the most i can process is being scared i know i'm alive but unsure about the other Society members #but i can't process past fear for their lives and wellbeings #and if i do process it's just feeling.. strange how quiet and empty their homes are #but if i try to process apologies i'm still stuck on the 'i want to apologize to Hope' from before #so i only process in how much everybody meant to *her* and not valuing myself at all #my problem then is i only valued myself and nobody else #now i value everybody else and not myself at all #i'll work on it i promise it'll just take time :'3

[90th1k1k0m0r1]

so excited to see my brother again in september

#he travels around a lot for his construction job so he cant until then #im so proud of him he has his own house and is a supervisor at his job #he’s surpassed our father in every way and it makes me so happy #he doesnt want to meet my dad and i dont blame him #my dad did him so dirty #i dont think he was trying to hurt alex #he just HATED his mom and ended up fucking up his relationship with his son in the process #i know he regrets it but alex doesnt owe him anything and my dad understands that #i want to meet his new gf too #i really liked the last one but im sure his new gf is just as lovely #im so happy to have a brother i always wanted one as a kid #i just wish we couldve been raised together or at least had a relationship before we became adults #i wish my sisters wanted to build a relationship with him too #i know it would mean a lot to him #if he’s got nobody he’s got me