#nontoxic masculinity | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dukeofankh · 9 months

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I've noticed a really troubling trend in masculinity discourse recently which views the peak of nontoxic masculinity as being totally unreliant on others. It's coming from a harm-reduction place, as is pretty much always the case. The thought process seems to be: 1) Incel shit comes from men feeling entitled to status and possessing women 2) Incels are dangerous 3) To decrease that the number of incels and the corresponding danger, we should push for the concept of the ideal man as one being unconcerned with status and possessing women. An island unto himself, satisfied and confident. Independent from both the pressures of a full-blown systemic-ass issue and the natural internal desires to be accepted and admired by others.

And like...something can be a good short term plan without being a good long term plan, you know? There can be side effects.

Like, I'm gonna make a post at some point about how I feel like the causes of the Nice Guy tm tire fire were radically misunderstood, considering I feel like we're on the precipice of another crisis in exactly the same mold, but apart from that I'm also just kind of frustrated that the process of organizing against patriarchal masculinity is suddenly bogged down by a bunch of folks trying to get me to adopt a stoic/zen philosophy as a necessary facet of my gender identity, and naturally assuming that my distaste for that can't be because I've spent a decade unpacking this as a queer man and I disagree with their tactics, and must just be that I haven't seen Barbie yet.

Ultimately, I don't feel like the root of modern toxic masculinity is entitlement. I feel that it's American-style Hyperindividualism. Its the erosion of the supportive community that naturally acts in opposition to the narrative sold by masculine competitive hierarchies. Its the belief that individual men must force their will upon the world or else be starved out because higher status men have hoarded everything for themselves. It's the belief that women are the scorecard and trophy in a contest between men, yes, but also fundamentally that absent some semblance of performance within that contest, men will be abandoned, mocked, and ostracized by both women and their larger community. The patriarchal dividend in that toxic system is not just power and sex, it's a sort of gated community within which all right to inherent human worth for men is contained, entrance into which must be earned through defeating others also desperately trying to get in.

Given all of that, to me the antidote isn't more individualism. It's less. Its community. It's love. It's not about men realizing that they don't need other people, it's about men realizing that they will still be loved and accepted within their communities without the need to dominate and overpower. That they do not need to become a patriarch to be seen, to have worth and a home and acceptance and support and community. That the idea that those things are gated behind power and wealth and the ability to do violence isn't just untrue, but the opposite of what is the case.

Toxic Masculinity is a systemic issue. Seeing people uncritically and wholeheartedly telling me that it should be conquered by intentionally atomizing men into self-reliant islands of personal choice is also not just untrue, but the opposite of what I think is the case. But it's...easy. It doesn't require the community to negotiate a new understanding under which they can embrace and love men who take up the responsibilities of being part of--not in charge of-- that community. It allows men deeply invested in a self-appraisal of their value as being rooted in not asking for help and in hierarchical superiority over other men to simply do that even harder, with largely the same rubric, but a new rationale. It leaves no room for male weakness, for mens needs, because, frankly, we are socialized to punish those and we do not want to change.

#masculinity #toxic masculinity #nontoxic masculinity #positive masculinity #me writing stuff

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gizzlyeagleshark · 2 months

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Doug Doug, PointCrow, and Failboat playing D&D is the positive definition of boys will be boys

#dougdoug #nontoxic masculinity

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comrade-bucket · 9 months

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youtube

ok ok since michael sheen is trending allow me to share this 2+ hour compilation of interviews with him on the late late show with craig ferguson. i don’t think you need to have been weirdly fixated on craig ferguson in high school like me to enjoy it. they are both twinkly-eyed unhinged not-english brits who get increasingly feral & flirty with each other over time. you’re welcome!!!

#2 hours is a long time #but did i watch the whole damn thing? you bet #there’s some humor that feels dated #but surprisingly little #michael sheen #craig ferguson #good omens #nontoxic masculinity #Youtube

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capricorn-0mnikorn · 2 years

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I think it’s time to shift the discussion ...

In regards to this post about how so many guys (both cis and trans) are really trying to be good people.

It’s been said before, and often (because it’s true), that masculinity, in itself, is not bad, and that’s why we specify “Toxic Masculinity” (Not all burgers are cheese burgers, not all buildings are apartment buildings, etc.).

But people tend to remember what they hear repeated, and tend to forget about what goes unspoken.

So I think it’s time to shift the discussion, and start specifying “Healthy Masculinity” (or maybe, for symmetry’s sake, “Nontoxic Masculinity”).

Point it out.

Shine a light on it.

Hold it up.

Celebrate it.

Representation matters here, too.

#nontoxic masculinity #accentuate the positive #just a thought

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delilahmidnight · 4 months

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#dehumanization #racism #palestine #tiktoks #nontoxic masculinity

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astoriachef · 7 months

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#nontoxic masculinity #sword stick #that’s a good stick brett

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amerasdreams · 10 months

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always err on the side of gentleness not cruelty, compassion not toughness, life not death.

#Pro life #Pro niceness #Nontoxic masculinity #Actually focusing on beig a person and a good person not . "Gender blahnlahblah #Real men are empathetic.#Not those cardboard cutouts that pretend to be people #Anti seeing any race or gender etc as :lower #Anti stereotype

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etakeh · 2 years

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youtube

This was so much fun to watch.

Some highlights:

Safety vioations! Chemicals! Fire!

"The difference between science and mad science is replicatability".

"Did I wash all of the acid off this brush? Who knows."

He's auctioning off the sword to donate the proceeds to Hope Church, in Bloomington ILL, "who made the mistake of thinking that Jesus' love was for everyone".

Auction site is here, if you're interested in bidding.

#swords #weapons #nontoxic masculinity #fire #pride #radical pride #blacksmithing #Youtube

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iceage-baby-hotdog-style · 1 month

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Oh my god also Nils telling August and Vincent that he sleeps with guys and Vincent’s just like “why would we care, why didn’t you tell us, you’re the best guy and we’re gonna help you get it” wtf

#young royals spoilers #young royals #I love nontoxic masculinity

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hancocksbitch · 8 months

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Feeling silly and relaxed today. That's a proper nice feeling, I live with chronically recurring depression and anxiety so whenever the clouds part I'm all here for it.

Getting a new Hancock tattoo tomorrow and looking forward to catch up and shoot the shit with the artist, he's an absolute sweetheart and always so much fun and great at what he does. I'd say half the fun is just hanging out!

And it was a long time, toooo long, since I got some new ink. Giddy like a kid before Christmas.

I'm laughing at how I wanted to try and describe the character of Mayor John Hancock, our sexy king of the zombies, the Robin Hood of the wastelands misfits, freaks and deviants and libertine extraordinare and wounded up hitting the poor guy with a wall of text he probably wasn't quite expecting. 😂

So, who is John Hancock?

Hancock has this kind of devil-may-care air about him. He's all drugs, sex and rock'n'roll, just replace the rock n roll part with close quarter combat...

He's sarcastic, witty and flirty. He call grown ass men and women "doll", "sunshine" , "pussycat" in conversation and gets away with it.

He doesn't give a flying fuck that he's a ghoul, he's as confident as a house cat. The kinda guy who seems taller than he actually is simply because of charisma ya know? His confidence doesn't stem from validation from others, rather it comes from knowing he "helps those who need helping and hurts those who need hurting" (that's one of his lines in game). Also, he's high as kite 98% of the time so that helps.

But he's likeable; he doesn't build himself up by tearing others down.

He's the definition of NON-toxic masculinity.

The ultimate bad boy, with a heart of gold and a combat knife in his boot ready to put a permanent smile on anyone who deserves it in the blink of an eye.

#feel good #john hancock #fallout4 #fallout hancock #fo4 companions #mental health #healthy coping mechanisms #nontoxic #NON-toxic masculinity #a thing for bad boys (in theory)

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alethiometry · 7 months

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moodboard: just finished watching princess mononoke for the five billionth time