#nope not stopping with them. they’re hilarious.

[pelideswhore]

Theseus: You saved me. I owe you my life. Heracles: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

#nope not stopping with them. they’re hilarious. #greek mythology #greek myth #theseus #heracles #hercules #ancient greece #mythology #incorrect greek mythology #greek gods #incorrect quote #mythos #greek myth meme #greek myth memes #greek mythology memes #greek mythology meme #incorrect greek gods #incorrect greek quotes #greek mythos #myth #incorrect greek myth #incorrect quotes

[aclockmaker]

Part 2 now here

Okay to expand on this I just think: Steve who’s been in a couple of tv shows and is having a moment, famous offscreen for his hair and his charm and onscreen for his ability to find chemistry with anyone (and also, again, his hair).

And Eddie who is a complete unknown; he’s been in some stage productions and had the tiniest bit parts on TV but nobody’s ever, like, recognized him on the street.

Eddie auditions for a new HBO show. When his agent tells him that Steve Harrington is already attached Eddie is like cool, I’ll never get this part but the audition will be good practice so why not. They’re never gonna cast him. He’s sure he’s playing it too weird, and he hasn’t cut his hair (but he will when a part needs him to) but then he gets a callback. Twice.

And then he’s getting called in to do a chemistry test with some of the other actors. The show is like a modern Freaks and Geeks but with a slow burn murder mystery, and Eddie’s actually dead in the main timeline but about half the show is told in flashbacks so it’s a big part. When he meets Steve he doesn’t know what he’s expecting from the paparazzi darling but the guy is super genuine, makes Eddie feel way more comfortable than he has so far. They do their read together and Eddie is just thinking to himself like… damn, this guy really is good, because that felt crazy. He’s acted opposite some insanely talented people but it’s never been that easy. That must just be what it’s like working with Steve.

And now it’s dangerous because he really wants the part. He wants to stop bartending to make rent. He wants to be on this show, because the pages he’s seen are good, and he thinks he could really bring something to it. And because he wants to work with Steve. And even the rest of the cast, too, but—

The day Eddie gets the part he gets a text from a number he doesn't know. Hey man, really looking forward to working with you. And then, a few minutes later, It's Steve btw. He's smiling down at his phone so much that his agent, whose office he's in, is like "What, did you just score another life-changing opportunity I don't know about?" And Eddie is like "Nope, just the one, uh—it's just my uncle saying congrats. Anyway—"

They don't make him cut his hair. They don't tell him to stop playing it so weird. Everything goes so well that it feels fucking hard to believe, in fact, like he's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. There's one group of them playing seniors in high school, the main foursome of which is Eddie, Steve, and their two girl costars, Nancy and Robin. And then there's a younger group playing freshmen whose story intersects with theirs.

His and Steve's characters are set up as opposites, almost rivals, and at least at first, you're presumably supposed to wonder if it's Steve's rich, popular guy who's killed Eddie's character. Nobody in the cast knows the truth yet; the scripts get revealed to them as they're shooting them and they've been told the murderer won't even be revealed in the first season (so here's hoping they get renewed, because Eddie would really like to know who killed him—and he'd also like to keep making HBO money).

Their scenes are some of Eddie's favorites to film (although he also has a soft spot for the kids—especially Dustin who plays a hilarious and awesome nerd who does D&D with Eddie's DM). Eddie hopes his and Steve's stuff is working on whatever level they ultimately need it to work on—sometimes they do get notes that tell them to pull back or dig into something, to emphasize something else, so he has to trust that they're doing the right things.

They often film out of order so when they eventually film the scene where Eddie and Steve's characters have their first run-in at school, it's far from the first time they've shot together. They get all up in each other's faces in the scene, and they've run the lines, done a table read, but acting it out at full intensity is. A lot. Steve's character is mad because he thinks Eddie's character is trying to steal his girlfriend (really she was just buying drugs from him). The way Steve plays it is all simmering intensity, the threat of violence just under the surface, and this is where Eddie doesn't know if he's reading something into it that isn't there. Because for him, there's also another kind of tension between them. And he doesn't know if it's his real life bleeding into the character; if it's just how Steve can't help being with everyone; or if it's a legitimate part of the scripts that they're supposed to be picking up on and exploring. He doesn't even know if anybody else sees what he does. But they do their takes; nobody tells him he's doing something wrong. And after the director calls cut the first time, Steve winks at him. Just to cut the tension, Eddie thinks, maybe to make him smile, which it does. It's fun watching Steve work, watching him slip into and out of character. He's really easy to work with.

Sometimes they get together to run lines or talk motivation or whatever. “It's crazy, you know," Eddie tells Steve in his trailer one night. Steve's is bigger so all of them usually hang out here. They've been making each other laugh, shooting the shit about increasingly funny backstories for their characters, and Eddie feels high with it. "I mean, you know this is my first real show. It's like—" he gestures between them, trying to encompass everything that happens on-camera and all the fun of working on that off-camera. "I didn't know it would be like this."

"Oh—yeah, man," Steve says and laughs a little self-deprecatingly, running a hand through his hair. "But, I mean, for me, I've done a couple and, with our stuff—it’s never been like this with anyone else, either.”

It's going to be so hard, Eddie thinks, looking back at him, to not read into that more than he should.

#steddie #steddie ficlet #steddie fic #actors au #if you have a good idea for their names on the show please speak right up i'm not sure what i'm feeling #would love to connect it to st somehow

[billybob598]

Secret Recipe (Lucy Bronze x Reader)

Another fic LFG!!!!!! This was requested by the anon who asked for a Lucy x Secret wife chef reader. Hope this is what you wanted! Got a Katie McCabe fic next. As always, any feedback good or bad welcomed! Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.3K (LFG!!!!)

For years now whenever Lucy came to camp she would have lots of packed lunches to fend off her hunger. The girls sometimes gave her a hard time about it, but for the most part, they don’t think too much about it most of the time. That is until one day Keira missed the served lunch due to a meeting. Keira was really starting to get hungry, but all the food was gone and they had training again soon so it’s not like she could make a quick sandwich or something. Then, Lucy became Keira’s saviour when she shoved a brown paper bag at her. At first, Keira was confused, but then it dawned on her that it was the same type of bag that Lucy always brought her packed lunches in. She gratefully grabbed the bag mumbling out a thanks before eagerly ripped open the bag. The team had never seen Keira so excited about food before. It was a mixture of her own hunger and curiosity as to what was in the bag that fueled Keira as she devoured the contents of the bag. In the bag, there was a container of what Lucy called burrito bowl. After each bite, Keira would let out a satisfied sound, a sound that had all the other girls giggling at her. She was too in love with the food to care. 

“If you were eating this right now, you’d be making these noises too,” she tries to defend herself as everyone keeps laughing. 

“Is it good?” Georgia asks.

“Unbelievably good,” Keria says, shovelling more food into her mouth.

“Wait, wait how is it really good? Lucy sucks at cooking,” Lucy goes to protest, but Millie keeps on talking, “Don’t even deny it Luce, there’s no way you could make something Keira likes that much.” 

For the rest of camp, Lucy gets bombarded with questions on how she’s getting these packed lunches. The team just cannot seem to figure it out.

“Maybe she buys them?”

“No, no they’re definitely not bought, she brings them in like plastic containers.”

“What if she gets her mum to make them?”

“Nope, her mum lives too far away for that.”

“What if she’s got like a deal with a mob boss, so they make her lunch in exchange for her to keep her mouth shut.”

Everyone really seems to like the last idea Rachael suggested. Lucy just rolls her eyes at their silliness. 

“Well, you’re all wrong. What if I actually do make them all by myself?” She remarks. Everyone makes disbelieving noises.

“There’s absolutely no way you can make food that good and that often,” Georgia says. Lucy did have to concede that one, it was a well-known fact that Lucy could make a decent meal every once and a while, but every day? No way. 

On the last night of camp, Lucy decides to Facetime you, she had told you about the incident, and you actually found it really hilarious. As she was telling you about their latest ideas you can’t help but let out a little snort,

“They think you have a deal with the mafia?” You say while trying to hold back your laughter.

“Yep, they’re so dumb. And also, do I really seem like someone involved with the mafia?” 

“I mean, you do kinda give off those vibes, love.” The look of betrayal on Lucy’s face has you in stitches. 

“You better stop laughing Y/N. I would hate for you to be offed by a mob boss,” she says with a grin. 

You guys continue to talk for a bit when you ask her about something that had been nagging you for a bit.

“Why don’t you just tell them about us?” The question was very out of the blue so, it caught Lucy off guard. 

“What do you mean?”

“Why don’t you just tell them that you’re married and that your wife makes your lunches and everything? Why keep it a secret anymore? They’re going to figure it out soon.” You weren’t mad at her, you were just curious as to why she never wanted to tell the team about you guys.

“I don’t know babe. It’s just easier. Plus, if I told them about you, they’d definitely want to meet you,” she sighs. 

“I’d love to meet them.”

“I’m not sure if you would, they can be very…overbearing,” Lucy warns you.

“Come on Luce. I spend like twelve hours a day overlooking a kitchen and dealing with other peoples’ problems as if I’m their mom. I’m sure I can handle twenty footballers,” you say confidently.

“Okay, then. How about I invite them over for dinner in a couple of days? I’m sure they’d love for you to cook for them,” Luce suggests. You nod happily, excited at the prospect of finally meeting all of Lucy’s friends. 

When Lucy invites the team over the next day she gets a lot of excited murmurs and questions on whether she was cooking or not. She’s seen the girls loud, but it was something else when she told them that her wife would be cooking. After announcing that, she very swiftly made her exit.

As the first Lionesses make their way inside you and Lucy’s house, they can’t believe all the pictures of you and her.

“This is her, right?” Lotte says as she points at a photo of you and Lucy on your wedding day.

“Yup, that’s Y/N,” Lucy says with a proud smile.

“She’s really pretty.” Everyone snickers at the glare Lucy gives to Lotte. “Is she in the kitchen?” Lucy nods and shows them the way. 

You look up when you hear loud voices carry into the kitchen. Wiping your hands off, you make your way around the island to meet everybody.

“This is Y/N, my wife,” Lucy introduces you. You hear a chorus of “Hi Y/N”s. You give them all a warm smile before they start banging out questions,

“So you guys are married?”

“How long have you been married?”

“Why didn’t we know about you sooner?”

“Are you actually a cook?”

“Do you own a restaurant?”

“What’s your favourite dish to make?”

So, you make all of Lucy’s lunches then?”

You are a bit surprised, but you compose yourself and answer all their questions,

“Yup, we’re married and have been for five years now. After we got married we just thought it easier to keep it on the down-low so we could focus on our careers. I am actually a chef, and I run Midsummer House which has two Michelin stars and is in Cambridge. At the restaurant we always make lots of fancy dishes, but sometimes I just like making pepperoni pizza. Yes, I make all of Lucy’s lunches for camp.”

As the night progresses, you can understand why Lucy likes going to national team camp so much, everyone is extremely kind to you and there is lots of banter and telling stories that you haven’t heard yet. You get a number of compliments on the food you had prepared for dinner. Rachael starts complaining about how it’s unfair that only Lucy gets your packed lunches. You laugh stating that something could be arranged for the team. This gets everyone very excited and makes it a little harder to get everyone out of the house after. All in all, it was a pretty successful first time meeting the Lionesses. As you clean up the dishes, you feel someone’s arms wrap around you from behind.

“Everything was delicious, love,” Lucy whispers into your ear.

“You liked it? It was a new recipe,” you reply, still washing some things.

“Mhm, it was very good,” you turn around in her arms and give her a kiss. She sighs into the kiss before pulling away and helping with the clean up.

The next camp, everyone is ecstatic when you show up to St. George’s Park with twenty-three packed lunches and a big smile.

#lucy bronze x reader #lucy bronze imagine #lucy bronze #woso imagine #woso x reader #engwnt x reader #woso fanfics

[thefangirltreehouse]

sebastian sallow | general thoughts / headcanons with gryffindor!mc

this is just overall thoughts on the sebastian arc and his general characterisation (yes, i am continuing to update this on my second playthrough)

spoilers below

the amount of times i’ve caught sebastian looking at mc through the start of my now second play-through is hilariously adorable, like don’t get me wrong the herbology one is absolutely the best, but i noticed that throughout charms sebastian is just staring at mc (like he’s straight up starts ignoring ominis speaking to him when they walk in the room) also the slight glances in defence against the dark arts before the duel is so cute.

he does it again whilst sirona and rookwood are arguing, like he just turns to them and similes

you can’t convince me otherwise that mc didn’t grab at least his arm to pull him away from ranrok, like it genuinely looks like that and if you squint hard enough it looks like he does the same thing when heading into the three broomsticks

listen i’m specifically playing as fem! & gryffindor! and the missions with ominis feel so reminiscent of the golden trio (i’m calling it now, they’re the electrum trio - a metal mixed with gold and sliver) especially the crucio side-mission

saw someone in a comment sum their dynamic up perfectly from my perspective

“i used to have beef with ominis before this (crucio) quest happened and now it’s me, a gryffindor dragging two slytherins by their shirt collars”

slight tangent but ominis is so sweet if you start as a slytherin! i saw my friend start his game and meet him in the common room and i was like “i’m sorry, is this the same tory bastard that yelled at me for nicking his pal?”

if anything sebastian comes off worse in that section.

almost every streamer i’ve came across assumes he’s flirting, like this was absolutely intentional

when either of the boys, particularly sebastian is speaking to imelda and the conversation of mc comes up she absolutely refers to mc as “that gryffindor of yours”

i mean, it’s the age old rivalry that just gives everything that extra oomph! despite the fact nobody seems to be questioning that a gryffindor has closely befriended not one, but two slytherins because that certainly isn't suspicious (i'm surprised one of the gryffindors didn't bring it up - particularly leander)

speaking of leander, why are the more prominent gryffindors (and ravenclaws) so antagonistic or hellbent on getting us in trouble?

sebastian’s jealously towards both his friends is dripping in the crucio quest like, in the line below i know he means because mc and ominis have special abilities but...

"between the two of you, i'm starting to feel left out"

the constant proud "that's my girl" look on his face

"never know who's watching - although that hasn't stopped us before." "strictly speaking, it has. we were caught."

also at the start of the library mission, anyone notice the way he's casually waiting on mc against the banister smiling up at her? or whilst he's waiting on her and ominis to figure out the location of the scriptorium? like, this boy knows he's the shit.

listen, there are certain things that sebastian said and did during his storyline that even at that age, i would’ve noped out of but i went in with a “yes, corrupt the little goody-two-shoes gryffindor madly infatuated with you” attitude and honestly it was so much fun. cause objectively yeah, sebastian should be expelled at the very least but my mc was not gonna let them do that (they're very much giving jd and veronica)

that said, mc isn't about to let him walk all over her, she's a gryffindor for a reason, she's just had some misguided judgement

don’t love how there isn’t much of a reaction from either boy after crucio is cast on mc, especially from sebastian (again, massive red flag) but also, think the devs missed the mark on that one like sebastian is still mc’s friend, yeah he really wants to see anne healed but a little sympathy shown would’ve been nice and a proper acknowledgement of what'd he'd done.

even if sebastian shrugged it off quickly he should've helped them walk or at least offered a hand to stand up

i love the wee house jibes, i wish we got more of them!

"you're not a bad chap, for a slytherin" "you gryffindors don't have a monopoly on bravery y'know"

an awful lot of english folk in the scottish highlands

sebastian and poppy are talking whilst leaving a class and my brain was like “omg her bf + gf are talking!”

i want triwizard and yule so badly!

the red and the green / gold and silver looks, look so good!

mc makes a comment about how amazed sebastian will be when she tells him that she took down the ashwinders by herself

"it'd be wise to keep an eye on you"

_____

general headcanons (oc-ish)

he'd absolutely mutter continuous little digs and comments throughout their classes simply to get under her skin and make her smile whilst she's trying to listen to their professors (he used to do this to ominis but he's able to ignore sebastian now after years of the torment)

whilst having dinner in the great hall they won't be sitting together but they'll lightly tap or nudge one another on the back if they're passing behind each-other's designated tables

sebastian refers to the fat lady painting as the "golden gate keeper of mediocrity" after walking mc back to gryffindor tower, which earns him a mildly deserved elbow jab

he gives mc piggy-backs during their trips to hogsmead and the quidditch pitch

whilst she's walking to and from classes with cressida or natsai, sebastian is regularly seen inserting himself between them, putting an arm over mc and / or pinching her away over to ominis and nerida

"who would've thought, all it took was a snake to tame the lion" cressida noted to a disinterested leander, peering over at the scarlet robes peaking beneath the sea of green

mc likes to softly poke at his blushing cheeks, joking that if sebastian "gets any redder, he won't be allowed back into slytherin" or that "he might have to come back to gryffindor with her"

mc has on occasion accidently fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder during history of magic

most of the gryffindors (nellie, leander and garreth in particular) will tease sebastian as he waits for her outside the common room, claiming "she was ours first" and attempt to distract her for as long as possible beyond the painting just to 'knock 'im down a few pegs'

they're well aware she's highly capable of holding her own, but not only is he a slytherin, he's also sebastian sallow so they're protective

he much prefers bumping into natty, who'll make a light "lost puppy" joke, share laugh and proceed to actually go get mc or he would actively seek out lucan because he knows the kid sucks-up to him but eventually the older gryffindors caught-on and would bribe lucan with chocolate frogs to stop him in his tracks

mc enjoys exposing sebastian to muggle trinkets and snacks, she grew up in a travelling circus with her parents, a ringmaster and fortune teller who never attended hogwarts in their youth (i'm gonna do a separate oc bio)

the trio all share a love of pumpkin pasties and lavender tea so whoever has a free period (or when sebastian has detention) will pop down to the kitchen to collect some

forehead kisses, hugs and interlocked arms whilst exploring the castle are everything to these two (their subtle little height difference is adorable, especially when you remember fem!mc is wearing wee wedged shoes at the start of the game)

highwing isn't his biggest fan (prefers ominis) and mc relishes in that

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #harry potter #my gif looks like ass #i forgot how to make them look good and im not used to getting clips from my ps5 #i'm gonna make a gif set with my second playthrough cause i missed screen recording a lot of their best scenes first time around

[luimagines]

I really love four. I love them all in general! So how would the chain react to having an s/o who's taller then all of them?

I think I'm beginning to see a trend here.

Headcanons form! I hope you don't mind it. :D

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

Hyrule

Bold of you to assume that he doesn’t find it the hottest thing about them

If the group was being honest, they wouldn’t have expected Hyrule to get in a relationship at all

Having traveled to his Hyrule and seeing how barren it is, they weren’t sure how the people were finding each other to begin with

But they’re all very happy for him

The teasing is pulled back a bit because The Traveler was so nervous about being in a relationship to begin with

The boys don’t want to the reason he thinks that it’s impossible, or worse, his partner breaks up with him because they decided to be jerks

Wouldn’t be the most guilt tripping thing they would have ever done?

But that doesn’t happen!

So Hyrule gets to love his giant royalty with no restraint

Legend can’t say he’s surprised.... but holy cow he is

How did The Traveler land such a beauty?

Twilight and Wild share a look

Maybe the height is a hero thing (along with the color red)

You bet that Wind is going to ask all sorts of questions, inappropriate or otherwise

Don’t mind Warrior giving tips on how to woo his partner even later on in the relationship

Time is trying to stop him but also think it’s hilarious

His partner is taking it all in stride because Hyrule’s friends are fun

Although they will have to wait until their gone to ask their own questions

For example: Why do they call him the name of the kingdom?

Legend

Won’t admit it, but he loves getting piggy back rides from them

Like, won’t even admit it on his death bed sort of thing

It’s his pride

But also he thinks it’s childish

Just as long as they don’t call him out on it

Little spoon?

Little spoon.

A lot of the chain didn’t even think that he would have a partner

Let alone that he would have a type

Time understands what he might have caused

Kinda- He’ll take the blame for it anyway

Warrior is gonna tease

He might get a black eye from it but in his eyes (literally) it’s worth it

Wild is also going to tease

“Won’t settle down? You’ll see when you’re 117?”

“Shush.”

His partner loves picking him up a teddy bear and Legend doesn’t have it in him to complain for once

Four

Everyone knew that no matter who Four chose as his significant other that he was going to be the shortest

By a long shot

And yet when they finally meet, they’re all stunned by how much taller his lover is

The difference is more than any one would have been willing to bet

Having to cram their head up to meet them in the eyes was not something they would have put on their expectation lists

But here we are

Four is going to climb them like a tree and be very happy with the added bonus of being able to sit on their shoulders and hug them from behind

Is also the perfect opportunity to whisper sweet nothings into their ear and distract them from whatever they were doing

You bet it is!

Is Four going to admit that’s the whole point of him being up there?

Nope! Because then he wouldn’t be allowed to do so.

Is going to give them the longest chains to dress up in and make them seem taller than they really are

Four is never going to hear the end of it if the guys ever see them together and he knows it

So he’s anticipating the jokes but he knows that it’s all in good fun

He’s never going to let them see him get a piggy back ride though

It was bad enough with Twilight and he gave his excuses for not liking it

He’s not keen on explaining why there’s a problem with them and not his lover

It’s none of their business

Wind (Aged up)

I want to think in my heart of heart that he would grow taller but still not be taller than the tallest in the group

That being said, Wind is a sap

Sure he can no longer reach the top shelf as far as his home life in concerned

But also tall royalty!

Like hello!

He’s the little spoon! 

He loves it!

The others when they meet again are both surprised and not

Let’s be real the boys have a type

And it’s not exactly that far of a leap to think that Wind would be included in that list as well

Wind takes their remarks in stride

Having a tall significantly other who fights with you on the battle field- or battle deck, in his case- is one hell of a advantage

If Wind had to complain about one thing and one thing only....It would be how he can’t reach up to give them any kisses

A burden to bare for sure.

He gets teased for being in a relationship period, there’s no escaping for it

It doesn’t matter if he’s the short one here

That doesn’t change literally anything

He’s always going to be the baby of the group as much as he hates it

So his s/o is going to be extra special as well

Just as teased though- for many other reasons

Older brothers are merciless

Wild

Wild is fairly small compared to most to the people in his world

So when the boys saw this, it shouldn’t have come as any surprise that Wild’s s/o was going to be taller than him

That being said, they misjudged the difference

Wild grins from their shoulder and waves to the group. “Hello! This is my partner! Like I said.”

Twilight blinks and hangs his head, digging into his pocket to bring out a small bag of rupees and hands it to Time

Wild gasps and screeches “Really Rancher?! Old man! You too?”

Time smile. “I know my boys.”

sky snickers and waves back. “Happy to meet you. Wild talks about you a lot.”

Wild covers his face with his hands as his partner gently puts him on the ground. “A pleasure to meet you all as well. He speaks highly of the lot of you.”

Warrior happily skips over and claps Wild on the shoulder. “They got family/”

“Shut up!” Wild takes a swing, previous shame forgotten.

Hyrule and Wind laugh and move away from the soon to wrestle duo so they can get to now more about Wild’s home life.

Time and Twilight approach as well and introduce the members of the chain one by one so that it would less confusing for them in the future

Four kicks the ground from under him

Wild’s s/o looks familiar to him and he’s not sure why they look someone he used to talk to in Castle Town

Genetics said copy and paste

And dang they all the same type don’t they?

Warrior

Warrior didn’t realize just how tall they were until he was reunited with them

He got used to the height when he was home

Frankly, he’s not the tallest person in the Queen’s court anyway

And then he got used to be able to look his companions in the eyes and it was nice

Only to be viscerally reminded that this is not the norm

The others think he just has a type

They... aren’t entirely wrong but Warrior is going to take that little secret to his grave

His S/O, of course, is delighted to have him home again, if only for a little while

In their excitement, they lift Warrior clear off of the ground in a hug and hold them against their chest like a life size teddy bear

Wild snaps a picture

And it’s the only picture of Warrior where he doesn’t look put together in any way, shape, or form

Time thinks he remembers them and he knows that they’re good people

So he’s amused greatly just how whipped Warrior is for his S/O

As he should be

Legend quietly asks Wild for copies of the photo in the background

But Wind hears them and stops it

Little brothers gotta look out for the older one sometimes 

Twilight

Let’s face it Twilight is already incredibly short compared to the people of his Hyrule

(All of them are but shush)

So his s/o is easily taller than him as it is

But since Twilight is the second tallest of the group, it takes the other by a bit of surprise when they see how short Twilight is compared to them

Twilight can’t really see it though

He’s completely love struck and full of puppy love

Wind, Wild and Four try to secretly measure them when they’re not paying attention to see how tall they really are

Because Twilight surely doesn’t care

And they don’t want to see rude by asking

Twilight likes to be the little spoon, especially as Wolfie

So you better bet your bottom dollar that he’s going to curl up against his s/o much like he does to some of the other members of the group but this time he’s going to be encase by warmth

You know- if he sits, he sits

That’s the rule

Time know where Twi gets it from and makes it a point to not make any comments

Warrior and Legend don’t care

He’s getting teased

Sky is the only one to have mercy on him and he’s also going to ask every question imaginable because he’s a romantic at heart and nosey as hell

Time

This guy is already the tallest in the group

So his tall S/O is tall

They love all the tiny boys in the group

Everybody has to crane their necks to so much as look at their face

Time doesn’t even notice it anymore

Twilight is wondering why he got none of that

Warrior and Legend are once again trying to figure how he got with them to begin with

Bets are made

Money is lost

Wild and Wind are going to see if Time’s partner can carry them

Hyrule and Sky are going to have to adjust their heads more often than they’d like but they don’t want to think too much on it

They’ve met a lot of other tall people

Not a big deal

Four.... is having a minor crisis

It’s hard talking to Time as it is

And now there’s someone taller?

He’s not going to even bother looking up

Sky

Sap, sap, sap

Cuddle bug

A fiend

Piggy back rides

Please?

Did not warn the group about needing to crane their necks to look his s/o in the face

Is also living for their reactions

“This is my s/o and I love them very much and as you can see, they are my better half.”

“Yeah, more than half. They took all your height.”

“Ours too if the fact that we all share same spirit applies here.”

Legend and Wild both get smacked over the head

Time now knows how Four feels

Four gives up and asks Twilight to pick him up to get a decent angle

Just so it doesn’t look like he’s trying to be fresh

Twilight thinks it’s hilarious

Warrior realizes he might have a type

Hyrule and Wind appear to be unaffected, but their necks are sore..er at the end of the day

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #linked universe x reader

[fuckyeah-jessicabiel]

GQ Magazine - July 2007

The Summer of Jessica Biel

To celebrate Biel’s being in a movie actually worth seeing, we sent Adam Stein to play carnival games with her.

When I told various friends I’d be interviewing Jessica Biel, I got the responses you’d expect—jealousy, mild rage, a plea to give her a phone number because she’s the one person that a friend’s wife would give him a free pass to sleep with. The uncanny thing is, when I asked these guys what they thought of her as an actress, most of them drew a blank. They hadn’t seen a single motion picture of hers. Okay, one or two had girlfriends who’d brought them to see The Illusionist, but otherwise, nada. As my friend Taj put it: “I’m obsessed with a girl I’ve never seen move.“

Well, that’s about to change. Later this month, men across America will see Jessica being very good in a very funny movie, and the nature of their love for her will…deepen. She’ll still be inhumanly beautiful, sure, but now they’ll have to contend with genuine talent, too, and that one-two punch can be disorienting. You know what else can? The fact that despite her recent tabloid exposure, she’s actually sweet, funny, earnest, occasionally a little crude, and—if my time playing carnival games with her can be used as evidence—uniquely driven to conquer whatever stands between Jessica Biel and what she wants.

I am waiting for her at the Santa Monica Pier, sitting on a stool next to one of those games where you shoot water from a gun into a clown’s mouth. I haven’t shaved for a week, because I read somewhere that Jessica Biel likes guys with beards. I’m inspecting mine in the reflective back of my iPod when a nice-looking young woman materializes in my view. “Excuse me,“ she says. “Are you Adam?“ “Jessica?“ I ask, ridiculously. Of course it’s her, in wraparound sunglasses, an open gray sweater over a white blouse, and faded jeans. She wears checkered Vans, like Jeff Spicoli. On the pier, no one recognizes her, which I suppose makes sense: There’s little resemblance between the pinup girl and the sneaker-wearing civilian out on a Monday afternoon. She doesn’t stick out as we walk the wooden planks of the amusement park; she blends in. She is, you might say, a very chill girl.

“Can we get a photo next to a star?“ she asks, stopping in front of a booth hawking photographs with huge cardboard cutouts of celebrities. It’s an impressive, eclectic array: Bill Clinton, Mini Me, Michael Jordan, Hilary Duff, Enrique Iglesias(!), Jean-Claude Van Damme, DiCaprio in Titanic. “They’re all kind of old,“ she says. I don’t know if she means the cutouts or the celebrities themselves (because to me, Mini Me will never age). She’s only 25 years old, so it could go either way. I ask her who she’d most want to pose with. She scrutinizes the assembly and makes her call: “I’d probably pick Van Damme, ‘cause he looks the coolest.“ She takes the Muscles from Brussels over Leo—a victory of might over sensitivity. Nice.

Then she decides it’s time for the games to begin. She passes up the Riptide Ring Toss (“That one is impossible,“ she says) and focuses her attention on the Pier Plank Plunge. The PPP is basically a rope ladder suspended horizontally over an inflatable mattress. The trick is to climb, perfectly balanced, to a taunting red button placed approximately ten feet away. Press the button, win the prize—an enormous Sonic the Hedgehog. I ask her if she’s ever Pier Plank Plunged before. “Yes,“ she says, assessing the structure, looking for its weaknesses. “But I’ve never been able to achieve it.“ She begins barraging the bored-looking carny with questions. “Do you have any tips?“ (It’s all about balance.) “Have you done it before?“ (Nope.) “Has anyone ever won?“ (Yeah.) “Has anyone won today?“ (Not yet.) She turns to me, and I have to say she seems genuinely excited. “This is our chance,“ she says. “It’s our chance to win.“ I’m beginning to get the distinct impression that winning is important to Jessica Biel. “Ladies first“ being the imperative, I take the initial go-round. It’s harder than it looks. My arms shake. Everything shakes. I can feel her hopefulness—Do it, get there—but I fall off within seconds. The shame is truly surprising. I wanted to do it for Jessica and failed. She throws me a “good try“ before stepping up herself.

Jessica was a gymnast when she was younger, and the training appears to be paying off as she mounts the unstable rope ladder. (It also occurs to me that the view I currently have is one the paparazzi would kill for.) She deploys a disciplined crawl, gets tantalizingly close to the red button, reaches for it—and loses her balance, flips over, and lands flat on the cushion, laughing. “Holy shit,“ she yells. “It’s so hard. That’s so frustrating.“ The carny asks if we’d like to try again. She pauses for a moment, looking at the button, and then, with obvious reservations, demurs. “You were really, really close,“ I tell her. “I know,“ she says, still staring at it, reluctant to move, apparently, without conquering the damn thing. “That’s how it gets you.“

Next up is something called the Hi-Striker, a game in which you swing a mallet to test your strength. I take three feeble swings, each one less successful than the last. A huge Hispanic man laughs every time I bring the mallet down on the metal block, and when I exit the cage and hand it off to the female attendant, she takes one exhibition swing and makes my emasculation complete. Up goes the projectile. Ping goes the bell.

J.B. watches, rapt. “Look at her awesome stance,“ she whispers, absorbing the details, memorizing the motion. Some actors “find“ their characters via a process of internalization—investigating emotions, plumbing psychology, creating an “inner life.“ This is known as the inside-out approach. Other actors work outside-in—developing a walk, a gesture, a physicality. Look at, say, Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby. Look at Jessica Biel in the Hi-Striker cage.

Mimicking the attendant’s, her first swing easily skunks my best effort. And she improves with each attempt. She’s getting into character. As she exits the cage, there’s a look of satisfaction on her face. She returns the mallet to the attendant, who looks at me and says: “She did better than you.“ As we leave, I ask her: “Is it more technique than strength?“ She shakes her head. “Brute strength,“ she says. “You just throw it up and slam it as hard as you can.“ On our way off the pier, we pass Zoltar, the animatronic fortune-teller who turned that kid into Tom Hanks in Big. Zoltar senses us and speaks: “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.“ Zoltar makes Jessica smile. She digs his philosophy.

Jessica Biel’s destiny, at least of late, has led her to a prominent place in the trashy supermarket gossip rags. First it was snapshots of social excursions with second-banana studs (Chris Evans, Ryan Reynolds). Then, upping the ante, there was a beach fling with a sports icon (Derek Jeter). And then, in February, she grabbed the tabloid brass ring for reportedly nabbing the world’s most eligible bachelor, Justin Timberlake. Unsurprisingly, it’s not something she’ll discuss.

One thing she is happy talking about, though, is the unladylike girth of her knuckles. We’re getting dinner at an unassuming Italian trattoria across the street from the pier when she flashes those meaty joints and describes her nascent production company. “It was almost called Fat Knuckle Films. Because I have fat knuckles. See?“ she asks. “They don’t really look that way until you start putting rings on them, and then it stops right there.“

I have to say, Jessica Biel’s chunky midfingers are endearing, human, attainable—a word she uses a number of times in our conversation, as if to remind the world that she’s just a regular girl from Boulder, Colorado, who happens to have been called, by Esquire magazine in 2005, the Sexiest Woman Alive.

“At first I felt really embarrassed about it,“ she says. “You know, it’s a weird thing to talk about. Like, ‘Hey, guys. Guess what?’ You don’t just go telling everybody that.“ She shifts her weight forward and goes on: “But after I got over that, I just started to embrace it. I started thinking, If I ever do have kids, and if they have kids, I can tell them: ‘You know what? Your grandma in 2000-and-whatever was the Sexiest Woman Alive. How about that, kids?’ That’s what I started to think about. I’ll always have that picture to say, ‘That’s what Granny used to look like.’ “

Before coming out here to get my ass handed to me at the Hi-Striker, I immersed myself in Jessica Biel’s Collected Works. She got her start in the mid-’90s on 7th Heaven, the WB dramedy that made a splash with the moral-values set, before leaving around 2002 for bigger (and badder) things. It’s been a grim scene ever since: Summer Catch (2001), which starred Freddie Prinze Jr. and stands at number forty-nine on Rotten Tomatoes’ 100 Worst- Reviewed Films of All Time. The Rules of Attraction (2002), notable only for Fred Savage shooting heroin between his toes and saying things like “I can feel my dick.“ (Remarkably, Biel comes across as fresh and charming, despite the astonishing pointlessness and nihilism of the flick.) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), which was Biel’s first top billing and is her biggest box-office performer to date, with a take of about $80 million. J.B. screams her head off throughout the movie and is entirely believable in distress, but you can’t help thinking as you watch her, There’s got to be better material than this. Sadly, no. There was an atrocity called Cellular, in 2004, and Blade: Trinity that same year (in which Biel kicks much undead ass as a midriff-baring vampire hunter). But the nadir has to be London, in ’06, a delusional piece of trash that starts off with a sex scene, Biel on top, saying, “Are you coming? Are you coming?“ before she proceeds to another not-quite-dignified act and then dips out of the frame to, presumably, swallow. Like I said, a grim scene.

And then, just in the nick of time, salvation arrived. A script called The Illusionist, to star Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti. There was a problem, though. The filmmakers didn’t want to give Biel an audition. They weren’t convinced the vampire-hunting Hollywood creation could rearrange herself into the role of a refined fin de siècle Hungarian duchess.

But Jessica Biel has a hard time taking no for an answer. And when another actress “dropped out“ of the film, her tenacity paid off. They finally brought her in. She arrived wearing a full period costume. She made them take her seriously, she says, and three days later, an offer arrived.

The Illusionist wasn’t what you’d call a “hit,“ but it got good reviews, made decent money, and changed the industry’s perception of her. Doors that were closed began to open. They just weren’t opening fast enough for her taste.

She sets down her after-dinner tea and says, “I want choices. I want options. I want to lay out all the directions I could go and have the ability to choose. I’m slowly starting to have that now.“ It’s the “slowly“ that kills her.

One film that will almost surely expedite the process is I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, which will be released this month. It stars Adam Sandler and Kevin James as two Brooklyn firefighters who pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic-partner benefits. J.B. plays the female lead, their hoodwinked attorney who falls for Sandler by the end of the picture.

Chuck and Larry is Jessica’s first real shot at popular, mainstream film success. Unlike her previous big-budget endeavors, it doesn’t rely on CGI or fetishistic weaponry to make its points. It is also—apologies to Freddie Prinze Jr. —her first comedy.

“It was a little bit intimidating,“ she says. “I really admire Adam and Kevin, but then, I didn’t try to equal them or one-up them, and the character I created didn’t have to be that. She’s the straight woman, but very fun and very cool and just—attainable. That’s the kind of part that I’d like to play more. I mean, a vampire hunter? Is that really attainable? I’d just like to play something a little more quirky, interesting, outrageous. And uninhibited.“

“You’re not worried that she can do comedy,“ the movie’s director, Dennis Dugan, tells me. “You can tell she can do comedy. So we just met her and cast her. I really think she can have one of those diverse, Oscar-winning careers. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no horizon to her talent.“

The sun has gone down, and we’re standing on the sidewalk in front of the Italian joint, across from the pier. I’m holding a small stuffed Spider-Man doll that Jessica won as a prize back at the amusement park and which she’s given to me to give to my son. I ask what she’s doing tonight, and she says she’s playing chaperone to a girlfriend on a first date. “Basically, I’m her wingman tonight,“ she says. “I’ll probably slip away if it’s rolling along well.“

She graciously agrees to a photograph with me, which I would include except for two reasons: (1) I don’t want to make Justin Timberlake jealous, and (2) you never quite understand how unattractive you are until you see yourself in a picture with Jessica Biel.

I watch her as she walks toward the pier. I know it’s where her car is parked, but I have this image of her heading straight back to the Pier Plank Plunge. The carny won’t know who she is, nobody on the pier will recognize her, and she’ll just hand over her fiver and go at it. That red button, almost within her reach. Attainable.

#jessica biel #gq #gq 2007 #articles #magazines #cover #interviews

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Gnawty

Debut: Donkey Kong Country

If you had to be one animal to be the first, most basic enemy in a Donkey Kong Country game, essentially the Goomba of the African jungle, what would you choose? Would it be a beaver? No! That wouldn’t make sense! Silly billy! But Rare decided to be professional silly billies! I wasn’t there, but they probably had a meeting where someone said “We should put a real doofus of a beaver in the game”, and everyone else clapped. And I would have clapped too! Look at this thing! It’s hilarious! I am very happy they made this strange decision.

Beavers have all sorts of fun abilities! Swimming, tail-slapping, dam-building, tree-felling, GNAWING, there is a lot a beaver enemy could do in a game! Gnawty walks left and right and does nothing else. This is also something beavers can do in real life!

I truly hope this does not all come off as insulting toward Gnawty. I love Gnawty! I would not change a single thing about it. Its presence, its design, its funny sound it makes when defeated. All perfect! I just think the concept makes it even more hilarious. And besides, there is a trick up its oily cloaca... ever heard of Gnawty’s Special Attack?

In temple levels dwell brownish, seemingly Elite Gnawties, who operate gigantic millstones, running around to roll them and potentially crush Kongs! Are they seeking revenge for their fallen brethren, or are they stalwart protectors of these ruins, trying to stop any intruders from destroying its walls to reach its sacred Bonus Games? Or maybe they’re just getting their exercise, at an inconvenient time for everyone else! They love to run on a wheel!

The Guy Who Is Never Pleased: “Heh! You call that GNAWTY? That is a paltry level of gnawtiness! I could handle a few more degrees of gnawtiness, easy!”

Well then. In that case, it’s a good thing we have...

Very Gnawty

Very Gnawty is arguably gnawtier than a regular Gnawty! It has a LAIR. That is a gnawty thing to have, you don’t usually have a lair if you’re a goody little gumdrops! You have an abode in that case. 

Very Gnawty is gnawty enough to be a boss, hoarding a hoard of the Kongs’ Banana Hoard in its lair! It is also pretty pathetic. It takes like, ten seconds to defeat. But it sure is funny! This is just a bigger Gnawty, named Very Gnawty! I love it!

The Guy Who Is Never Pleased: “Nope, still not gnawty enough! I came here to see some REAL gnawtiness! You’d better step it up!”

REAL gnawtiness, eh...?

Really Gnawty

How about a big Gnawty that takes TWENTY seconds to defeat! Now THAT’s gnawty behavior! This one can jump higher! It has a more fashionable checkered tail! And of course, it’s named after the fact that it is even gnawtier than its predecessor! 

The Guy Who Is Finally Pleased: “Thank you, Really Gnawty. You showed me how to have a positive outlook on life :)”

Thank goodness! Honestly though, Really Gnawty is NOT the gnawtiest Gnawty. It’s actually Very Gnawty, because in the GBA version...

Very Gnawty (who is brown in this version for some reason) shows up uninvited to DK’s house! When DK enters, Very Gnawty gasps and escapes right away, clearly knowing this was gnawty behavior. Congratulations on being the gnawtiest Gnawty!

Finally, I would not dare talk about Gnawty without mentioning Beaver Bother! I always assumed this bonus game was about being bothered by beavers, but then I played it, and learned it is you who is bothering the beavers, who are quite scared of a little bother! Bothering them into a hole. That is so rude! Bodaciously bothersome! But it’s funny. Sorry Gnawty, you know I love you! But Beaver Bother is funny!

#gnawty #very gnawty #really gnawty #donkey kong country #donkey kong #donkey kong enemies #mario #mario enemies #mod chikako

[gffa]

I am once again in absolute tears because the FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES of the Coruscant speeder chase has more going on that you can possibly take in on one view, like I have seen this scene many times, I can quote the dialogue right along with them, but the details that go along with that are the funniest thing you could ask for, “What took you so long!?” “Oh, you know, Master, I couldn’t find a speeder I really liked.” we all remember those lines, we can all quote huge chunks of this movie verbatim, I settled in for a fun time with my asshole cat faves, but then Obi-Wan points Zam out, “There he is.” but Anakin keeps going with the bit like he hasn’t even heard Obi-Wan say anything, “--with the open cockpit and the right speed capabilities--” and we all remember that Anakin literally jumped into that speeder in 0.5 seconds after Obi-Wan went out the window, he absolutely did not take extra time to find the right one, he is doing a bit because he thinks it’s funny, and Obi-Wan fucking knows it, “If you spent as long practicing your saber techniques as you do your wit--” it is at this point that Anakin guns the motor and they’re both plastered back against the seats and it’s hard to talk over the rushing chase and the intense staring to see where their bounty hunter goes, but Obi-Wan is 100% dedicated to still giving this banter-lecture, he doesn’t fucking stop, “--you would rival Master Yoda as a swordsman.” and Anakin’s got a rejoinder immediately ready, “I thought I already did.” and “Only in your mind, my very young apprentice.” and I cannot stress enough that they have DEAD SERIOUS GAME FACES ON THIS ENTIRE TIME, if you had the sound off, you’d think they were having a very intense discussion about the car they’re chasing, NOPE, THEY’RE ARGUING ABOUT WHO IS THE BIGGER ANNOYANCE THE ENTIRE TIME (boys, boys, BOTH OF YOU are the most annoying, I promise), and then we see Zam skirting the side of a building’s roof and Anakin absolutely could drive off to the side but this idiot, Anakin Skywalker saw his chance and he chose violence, because Zam’s speeder is well off to the side of all this, but Anakin dives STRAIGHT DOWN IN A NOSE DIVE RIGHT AT THE BUILDING’S ROOF and Obi-Wan lets this go on for, I shit you not, a solid twenty seconds in movie time which is probably like five times that in-universe, before he finally says “Pull up, Anakin. Pull up!” but the thing is, up to this point, Anakin’s face has been very On Point Game Face he is SO SERIOUS like he is staring death lasers out of his eyes, but the second he sees that roof, ANAKIN IMMEDIATELY STARTS LAUGHING, HE STARTED LAUGHING BEFORE OBI-WAN SAID A SINGLE WORD, that little shit saw an opportunity and was like “I’m about to be hilarious” because he knows Obi-Wan hates it, HE DID IT ON PURPOSE FOR NO REASON IT DIDN’T HELP THE CHASE HE JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY (it really, really was) and this chase has now hit the FIFTY SECOND MARK AM I AM IN TEARS ALREADY, it hasn’t even been a full minute and this is their love language, especially when Obi-Wan is all, “You know I don’t like it when you do that.” “Sorry, Master. I forgot you don’t like flying.” “I don’t mind flying, but what you’re doing is suicide!” BECAUSE THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED??? ANAKIN DOES THIS REGULARLY??? Obi-Wan deserves sainthood for putting up with this, no wait DOUBLE SAINTHOOD because THEN they go through the Industrial Sector, Zam shoots out the power coupling, Anakin apparently DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DODGE so he flies them right through it and they get electrocuted, which is just not going to end well if they keep doing this, so Anakin decides to take a different route and zips off the other other, “Where are you going? He went that way.” and Anakin Skywalker, 100% serious because he has the self-awareness of a lobster being dipped into a boiling pot, says, “Master, if we keep this chase going, that creep's gonna end up deep-fried.” when, ANAKIN SKYWALKER, LESS THAN A MINUTE AGO YOU WERE THE ONE GETTING DEEP FRIED, NOT ZAM, like I’m not usually in favor of the “Anakin gets electrocuted so often it damages his mental faculties” theory in fandom but I’m kind of starting to believe it after this, YOU WERE THE ONE GETTING YOU AND OBI-WAN ZAPPED, YOU PRECIOUS IDIOT WITH THE MEMORY OF AN ELECTROCUTED HAMSTER, but at least he has the self-awareness to confidently state, “This is a shortcut... I think.” and end on a questioning note because sometimes he is aware he’s an idiot, and then I lose my entire mind because they appear to have lost Zam and Obi-Wan’s lecturing him and Anakin says, “I’m deeply sorry, Master.” and he 100% IS NOT A BIT SORRY HE IS NOT EVEN TRYING TO PRETEND HE IS, HE’S JUST SAYING WORDS, then Obi-Wan lectures for five seconds more before Anakin says, “If you’ll excuse me.” and jumps over the side and I was so distracted by Anakin being so goddamned extra, I was perfectly willing to roll with this, like, yep, that’s Anakin, he’ll just jump out of a speeder at the drop of a hat, of course there’s no warning or anything, he just Does Shit Like That and, see, it’s funny, because Obi-Wan (and lbr the entire Jedi Order) does shit like that all the time, Obi-Wan’s was FIVE MINUTES AGO, he JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW, ha ha, HE LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU, OBI-WAN, that was the funny part of the scene for me, but then it took me a moment to realize oh my god ANAKIN SAT ON THAT BIT DURING THE ENTIRE LECTURE there was not enough time for Zam to come around a corner or anything, she was already right there, ANAKIN KNEW IT AND SAID NOTHING, BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BE DRAMATIC ABOUT IT, he could have said, “I didn’t lose him, he’s coming up under us now.” BUT NO HE JUST MADE A COMPLETELY INSINCERE APOLOGY DURING OBI-WAN’S LECTURE WHILE KNOWING EXACTLY WHERE ZAM WAS SO HE COULD JUMP OUT OF THE SPEEDER AT THE RIGHT MOMENT OF DRAMA, ANAKIN SKYWALKER PLANNED THAT SHIT OUT, and I have never been prouder of my disaster dumpster son, but oh god this scene isn’t finished with me yet, because Anakin falls and falls until he lands on Zam’s speeder and whoa that’s pretty badass! except NO IT’S NOT because Zam does ONE SINGLE SOLITARY fishtail and Anakin goes flying like he’s a spinnerbait on the end of a fishing line being flung out by a flyfisher, just wobbling all over that ship as he tries to hold on, like my cat would have had a field day with him if he’d been a feathered jingly ball on the end of a string type of cat toy, that’s how much he was waving and wiggling around, but finally he gets up on the ship! and he gets his lightsaber out! time to be cool! EXCEPT STILL NO he just stabs his saber into the cab of the ship and FLAILS IT AROUND LIKE HE STABBED A STRAW INTO A CUP OF BUBBLE TEA TRYING TO GET THE LAST BOBA PEARL WITH IT, JUST JAB JAB JAB WITH NO FINESSE, and he does this for all of THREE SECONDS before Zam tilts the ship and Anakin loses his saber and Obi-Wan has to come flying along to grab it mid-air for him and then what does Anakin do? why he just SHOVES HIS WHOLE HAND RIGHT IN THERE and flails it around like he’s searching for the prize at the bottom of a Crackerjack box and then after twenty seconds of trying to hold on while Zam is flailing around he finally falls off the ship when she crashes it down onto the Underworld surface and it has been FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES of this, this movie that has changed my life forever, I am exhausted, I am enlightened, I am in tears because this was the most disaster thing I have ever witnessed in my life and I feel like I’ve reached Nirvana just witnessing it.

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #zam wesell #meta #i make myself laugh and that's all that's important

[kittyt-hexxed]

My Lovers Hate Each Other (Vi x Reader x Sevika) - Final Part

Final Part - Zaun’s Big Three

Part One | Part Two I Part Three | Part Four | Final Part

Warnings: Polyamorous relationship, Jealous Ex, beating someone up, injuries, making an example out of someone, threesome, cunnilingus (Sevika receiving), strap-on sex, double dildo penetration, wives being cute

Summary: When you're the girlfriend of two murderous women, they're going to have enemies. But, that doesn't harm the love between you, it only makes it stronger.

Author Note: Did you really think I’d end it without the wedding? ;)

“What am I going to do with you two?” Sevika sighs playfully, shaking her head.

“Sev.” Vi says seriously, “You have to marry us now.” You burst out laughing as Sevika’s eyes nearly pop out of her head. You cry out in pain, your ribs flaring as you struggle to stop laughing. You end up wheezing for a bit before you manage to stop laughing.

“...You’re right. I will marry you two after that.” Sevika says casually, making you and Vi pause. You blink, sharing a glance with Vi before turning your gaze to Sevika.

“What?” You say in disbelief, “Say that again.”

“Say what again?” Sevika tilts her head.

“You know what we're talking about!” Vi huffs, “The marriage thing!”

“Nope. I have no clue.”

“Sevika!” You and Vi shout.

“Yes?” Sevika grins, clearly doing this to rile you up, “...Oh! Yeah. Let’s get married.”

“WHAT?!” You two scream, causing Sevika to put her hand over your mouths. You and Vi share a glance in confusion as she shushes you.

“Marriage is serious here in Zaun.” You point out, “Once you’re married, there’s no turning back… and you want to do that with us?”

“I’m being serious. You ran into danger for me. I could have died today, and you could have died trying to save me. I didn’t think marriage was important but after knowing I nearly lost you, I want to get married. It doesn’t have to be a big one, hell, we could just sign the documents. But I’d… officially like to have you two as my wives.”

“I’ve… never thought about it, ya know, since I spent most of my time in prison.” Vi shrugs, “If it’s the two of you, I wouldn’t mind.”

“Ah, what the hell.” You grin, “There’s a possibility I die for you one day so we might as well.”

“Great.” Sevika smirks, “Glad I can convince you two to do it.” You and Vi scoff, shaking your heads at her.

Powder had taken you dress shopping, understanding that you didn’t have any family members to go with. She had gone with Vi to find something earlier in the day and decided to do it with you as soon as she got back. You felt touched that she wanted to go with you, and Ran and Krow joined you as well. Your wedding dress was a bit more sparkly than you planned but they had talked you into it when they saw how you liked it.

“Ooohhh, they’re going to faint when they see you in your dress!” Powder squeals as you walk into The Last Drop, “I can’t wait to see it!”

“You want them to faint?” You laugh, holding the door open for the other two.

“Absolutely.” Ran nods, stepping inside, “It would be hilarious.”

“I’m glad you think so highly of me, Ran.” You hear Sevika say, and you see a small group of people sitting around one of the tables. You recognize Alissandra who has become a thorn in your side since the moment she found out Sevika wanted to marry you. But, the two other women at the table were unknown to you. Vi looked slightly uncomfortable, but Sevika’s metal arm around her shoulder is likely the only reason she was still seated. ‘Does Alissandra have to be here?’ You huff through your nose.

“We-” Ran and Krow yank Powder towards the house, “will be waiting for you.” They drag her out of the bar with a wave, leaving you to join your partners at the table.

“Hello.” You say politely to them as you walk over and give Sevika a kiss on the temple. Vi - always the affectionate one - gives you a peck on the lips before they both pull you onto their thighs. Even though there was another chair you could sit in, they preferred to have you right in their arms. You had raised an eyebrow at them when they first proposed it, but it was kinda smart of them. They sat next to each other with their thighs touching, allowing Vi and Sevika to put their arms behind each other’s waist and have you with them. It was your favorite thing to do, especially because you could tease them at the same time.

“Hello.” Both of the women nod.

“You must be Y/n. My niece’s other bride-to-be.” The woman draped in a red and gold cloak says, “I am Kiaya’lani. Sevik’lani’s Abi or aunt in your language. Beside me is my daughter, Vivia’lani.”

“It’s nice to meet you Miss Kiaya’lani. Vivia’lani. What are you doing here, if I may?”

“Alissandra told me that my niece is getting married and I am here to officiate the wedding.” Kiaya’lani states, “It is tradition for the Abi to marry her niece off… and may I say that I am relieved my niece has chosen two beautiful women.”

“Abi!” Sevika huffs, “That has nothing to do with me choosing to marry them.”

“I know.” She chuckles, “I’m just saying they’re beautiful women, my niece. Now, let’s discuss this wedding of yours.”

“It’s nothing big.” Vi says, “It’s just a short exchange of vows in front of our friends and family. Afterwards, there’s a block party since it’s the leaders getting married.”

“I didn’t expect anything more.” Kiaya’lani shrugs, “In our tribe, we exchange vows, get our tattoos and that’s it. There’s no extravagant fanfare like in these other countries.”

“Tattoos?” You question.

“Yes.” Vivia’lani speaks up, “On your hand, we tattoo a circlet around your finger for each partner. You would get two.” She holds out her hand to show three circlets around her finger.

“Would you like to do that?” Sevika asks you two, “We don’t have-”

“-Yes.” You and Vi instantly chorus, making Sevika blink in surprise.

“Wonderful. Now, in our tribe, there is also the tradition of adding ‘lani to your names. It is a way to indicate that you are a part of our tribe to other Shurimans. You may choose to do it since you are from outside the tribe, if it is your wish.” Vivia’lani points out. You see Alissandra shift in her chair, a scowl on her face before she gets up and walks away.

“What’s her issue?” Sevika scoffs.

“Ali is jealous.” Kiaya’lani smirks, leaning back in her chair. It’s with that motion that you can see how she is related to Sevika. Their facial features are close and it makes you wonder how Sevika’s mother looked.

“She wished to marry Sevik’lani all of those years ago, but my darling niece denied her at every turn. And now, there are two capable women in her place.” Kiaya’lani’s eyes sparkle in mischief, “I must say that I have not made it easy on her either.”

“Mama likes to rub sand in the wound.” Vivia’lani giggles.

“I can see how you’re related.” Vi snickers, yelping as Sevika pinches her with her metal hand.

“Hey!” You poke Sevika’s cheek, “No harming the goods!” You two stare at each other before you see Sevika’s hand moving toward you. You squeal and try to get off of her lap but Vi holds you in place.

“Oh no, you don’t! I got pinched, so you’re not running away from this!” Vi laughs.

“What?! But, I was standing up for y- AH!” You yelp as Sevika pinches your thigh, “Babyyyy!” You pout, rubbing the area as Sevika’s aunt and cousin laugh on the other side of the table.

“So you have three husbands?” You hand Vivian a cup of tea that she takes a careful sip of. Aunt Kiaya had gone to find Alissandra and you moved into the house with Vivian.

“Yes, it’s normal within our culture to take multiple spouses. Abi had two husbands - her first one and then Abu, Sevika’s father - and two sons. Sevika’s brothers passed away before she was born.” Vivian tucks herself in the corner of the couch, “Abi was an amazing woman and Chief before she was lost to the sands.”

“My mother went on a journey she knew she wouldn’t return from.” Sevika speaks up, stirring her coffee, “So, she told my father to take me and leave Shurima for Ixtal. He chose to come to Zaun instead, and now I know it’s because of the Baccai.”

“I’m impressed.” Vivian smiles at you and Vi, “Many would not come back from a fight with a Baccai, especially one with a vendetta. I’m pleased that my cousin has decided to go forward with marrying the two of you.”

“Can you tell us more about Shurima?” Powder grins, messing with her hot chocolate, “I’d love to know more from travelers like you!”

“Nomads.” Sevika clarifies, “The tribe are nomads.”

“Right.” Powder smiles sheepishly. You spend the next hour listening to Vivian talk about her home. With everything that she was saying, you were appalled that Sevika never talked about it casually. But, from the way she spoke about her mother, you could see that the memories were still tender.

“There was this one time my arm got caught in the ropes during training.” Sevika chuckles, “Instead of untying it, my mother cut the line and I fell onto Vivian.”

“It‘s funny for you but I was the one with a concussion for a week!” Vivian complains, making you all laugh. It felt nice to hear about Sevika’s childhood and all of the mischief she got into. Even being a chief’s daughter didn’t stop her from doing wild things.

“What about you Y/n?” Vivian turns the conversation to you, “Did you do anything fun in your childhood?”

“Oooohhh!” Powder squeals, “Tell her about the time you tricked Mylo into jumping into the river!” Vi burst out laughing, while an embarrassed blush covers your face.

“I was thirteen and hanging out with Vi and the gang. We were spray painting the side of the lower bridge, and I slipped and managed to get paint on myself. Her brother Mylo comes out of nowhere, laughing that I looked like an orange with neon paint on me. I was so embarrassed that I told him a wasp landed in his hair.”

“And the one thing about Mylo is that he’s terrified of wasps.” Vi snickers.

“Terrified.” You emphasize, giggling, “He screamed, jumped over the railing and into the freezing water.”

“That’s so mean!” Vivian laughs, “But, sneaky.” You go around the room, everyone talking about some form of a prank they’ve pulled. Surprisingly, there was a lot to share before Aunt Kiaya came back with Alissandra in tow. The younger woman had a sour look on her face while Aunt Kiaya seemed pleased with herself.

“Excuse me.” Aunt Kiaya hums, “Alissandra would like to say something to the brides-to-be.”

“I wish you a successful marriage.” Alissandra forces out, before Aunt Kiaya kicks her leg, “And! You two are perfect wives for Sevik’lani. There will be no issues from me during the wedding.”

“Thank you, Alissandra.” You smile mischievously, “That was very kind of you.”

“Isn’t she the sweetest?” Aunt Kiaya grins, “Now, I smell coffee. Where can a woman get a cup?”

The small wedding that you planned for turned out a bit bigger. Sevika’s entire gang - around fifty people - are sitting on the left side of the room. The Prowlers, along with Powder and Ekko, are sitting on the right side. In total, there was over one hundred people in the bar. When people learned that you only wanted a small crowd of ten, they whined and complained until you all relented and let them come. If the people of Zaun had it their way, they’d all be crammed into The Last Drop to witness your ceremony.

You kneel down onto the pillow, your little cocktail dress spreading out around you. On your left is Sevika and Vi takes her place on your right, grasping your hand and intertwining your fingers. Across from you is Sevika’s Abi and the other woman you now know to be her daughter. You’re instructed to hold hands with your partners and you do so, tightly holding onto each other for comfort.

“Before me are three hearts that wish to bond. I ask the Gods to bless them, so their inner strength may keep them together so they can weather any storm. Love is their strength, the bond that holds them together, and we bestow each of them with two circlets to show it. One for each heart that joins their own.” Kiaya’lani declares, smiling at you, “The brief pain is a small price to pay for a love forever-lasting. With the inking of these circlets, you are imbedding your love for each other within your own bodies. May your ink never fade.” You hold out your right hand and Vivia’lani tattoos two thick lines onto your finger. You and Vi chose to get it done on your right hand, since Sevika couldn’t get it done on her left. You didn’t want her to feel upset or left out, and you thought it’d be cute!

“I dedicate my heart to you, Sevik’lani.” You whisper, pressing your lips to the back of her hand, “And I dedicate my heart to you Vi’lani.” You do the same to Vi, leaving a lipstick mark behind. When Vi’s tattoos are finished, she does the same thing and leaves a red mark on your hand. Your heart flutters seeing the two lipstick marks of your lovers’ on your hand.

“Before me today are three strong women. My niece, Sevik’lani. Her wife, Vi’lani and her other wife, Y/n’lani. Now stand and show the world your dedication to each other.” You stand, legs feeling like jelly, and share a threeway kiss with your now wives. Everyone claps, Powder cheering the loudest out of anyone, and it makes a grin cross your face. ‘We just got married.’ You think in awe, looking at your wives and seeing their eyes shine with joy.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” Powder screams, throwing her arms around you, “I’m so happy for you!” She squeezes you.

“What about your own sister?” Vi muses, holding her arms out.

“I guess I’m happy for you, too.” Powder playfully rolls her eyes but hugs her sister tightly. Ekko and the others come up to you, giving you hugs and you find yourself being passed from person to person. ‘I’ve never received so many hugs before! What are we, Pilties?!’ You laugh to yourself.

“It’s time to open the doors.” Sevika smirks, twirling you out of Ran’s arms, “Are you ready for a busy day?” She brushes your hair down.

“Even if it’s my wedding day, I don’t mind working.” You grin, kissing her on the cheek, “The faster these people get drunk, the faster I get you two alone.” You purr, winking before you saunter over to the front doors. You yank the doors open, seeing a very large crowd waiting for you. ‘They all waited out here for the announcement?’ You snicker. ‘Man, when did they turn into a bunch of suckers?’ All gazes turn to you, and you smirk.

“WE’RE MARRIED, YOU FUCKERS!” You scream, and the whole block erupts into cheers knowing they’ll be getting wasted off their asses. You and Vi hop behind the bar with Powder taking her place at the cash register. You’re pleasantly surprised when Ekko, Ran and Krow put on server aprons and help out. People are congratulating you as they order or shouting across the bar. You grin seeing Sevika at her usual seat playing poker with her Abi and Vivian. From the appalled look on Sevika’s face and the grin on Aunt Kiaya’s, your wife lost and you snicker to yourself. Honestly, you didn’t mind this. There was something so heartwarming about falling right back into routine with your new family and friends by your side.

“So… you’re married.” Hayley takes a seat at the bar, stitches in her swollen lip, “I didn’t expect that.”

“What? Come here to complain?” You raise an eyebrow.

“No.” Hayley gives you a tight smile, “I’m glad you found someone who can stand Sevika’s shadow.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong.” You slide her usual tequila to her, “Vi’s not in Sevika’s shadow, and Sevika isn’t in hers. I’ve got two lovely wives, and who knows… maybe I’ll end up with another at some point. But, I’m so happy with them.” You smile at Vi who’s busy talking with one of her regulars. The white jumpsuit she has on makes it hard for you to not notice her figure. You know that you’re going to be needy for them by the night. ‘I can’t wait for tonight. Just the three of us in the house.’

“Congratulations then.” Hayley says bitterly, not hiding her displeasure.

“Thanks, Hayley.” You grin, “Have a nice afternoon.” You get back to mixing, exchanging kisses with Vi every chance you get. You even bring Sevika’s family some drinks, giving your wife a kiss before she shoos you away claiming that she needs to focus. Although, that doesn’t stop her from giving your ass a squeeze as you walk past her.

“You can’t be married!” You hear a woman shout and it makes you raise an eyebrow. As you make your way through the crowd, you see a woman clutching onto Vi’s wrist across the bar. People’s eyes flick your way, wincing when they notice you but you pay them no mind. For once, Vi looks very uncomfortable with the situation that she’s in.

“Faith, you know I’ve been in a relationship. How the fuck does being married change that? I’ve always been committed to my wives.” Vi tugs her hand away and the girl tries to grab her again.

“I wanted to marry you!” The woman - Faith - wails, tears running down her face.

“What?” Vi looks startled by her declaration.

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MARRY ME, YOU STUPID BITCH!” Faith screams just as you get through the crowd. Your hand twists into her hair and you rip her from the bar stool, making her scream in pain. You hear the crowd muttering as you give her a death glare. Her nails were digging into your hand, but you were too angry to care. ‘How dare she say that to my wife! Right in front of me, too?! Oh, I think not!’

“Murder isn’t on my wedding day to-do list, but I can make a last-minute addition.” You growl, dragging her to the door kicking and screaming, “Out of my way.” You hiss, making the crowd scatter and two people yank the bar doors open for you. They have genuinely terrified looks on their faces.

The girl’s screaming and cursing at you only made you angrier. You toss her to the ground, flexing your fingers to release some of the tension in them, “You want to call my wife a bitch again?” You say darkly, watching the girl get up.

“You’re her wife?” She scoffs, “You’re not as attractive as me.”

“You won’t be attractive for long.” You shrug before you punch her in the mouth, knocking her down back, “No one disrespects my wives.” You don’t give her a chance to fight back, punching her over and over again. If you didn’t make an example out of this one, there would be others bold enough to try it themselves.

She’s barely conscious when you stop, shaking out your hand to soothe your stinging knuckles. Punching wasn’t your thing, but you were making a point. This was personal, and using your guns or a knife wouldn’t have the same message.

“Don’t come to my bar unless you want to lose your other front tooth.” You spit, whirling around and pausing when you see Sevika and Vi watching you.

“I think you should get inside.” Vi grabs your shoulder, “We’ve got to clean up that hand of yours.” She and Sevika lead you back to the bar which is continuing on as normal. You’re silent as you let your wives’ presence calm you down. They lead you into your bathroom, sitting you on the toilet while Vi gets the first-aid kit out.

“That was a solid grip you had there.” Sevika smirks, wiping the blood on your knuckles away with a damp cloth, “She couldn’t get away from you.”

“Thoses punches were in perfect form, too.” Vi’s face has a matching smirk, “I didn’t expect you to react like that to her.”

“Who was she anyway?” You huff, “She had a lot of nerve calling you a bitch in front of me.”

“A girl from my childhood I dated for like a week.” Vi shrugs, “Didn’t think she’d show herself. None of the others did. I was caught by surprise from what she said.” You wince at the sting of the alcohol, but Vi kisses the back of your hand.

“I guess we’ve all dealt with a displeased ex-girlfriend.” Sevika snorts, “Who would have thought our marriage would make so many women upset.”

“I thought they’d all at least be your exs!” Vi teases, fluttering her lashes at Sevika and making you laugh.

“What-” Sevika pauses, before nodding her head, “You’re right.”

“Well, why don’t we shower and take this chance to get away from everyone?” You suggest, “Since it’s been so graciously offered.”You’re the first one encouraged to go shower while Vi and Sevika clean up, so you go and get ready. Your shower is quick, spurred on by the heat already rising through your body and you lay naked in your bed waiting for them.

Vi is the first one to come into the room with her towel wrapped around her waist, “You know, I found you defending me like that really fucking hot.” She takes it off and hangs it up, revealing her strap. You sit up in bed and when she sits down, you straddle her lap. Automatically, she pushes you down onto her strap, getting a low groan from you and coaxes you to move your hips.

“It wasn’t a big de-” You gasp as Vi roughly thrusts up into you, a displeased frown on her face.

“Say that again and I’ll have you gagging on my cock, sweetheart.” Vi huffs, “No talking down on yourself. Got it?”

“Yes, Mommy.” You pout.

“Good girl.” Vi hums, kissing your forehead, “Look who’s decided to join us.” You follow Vi’s gaze to see Sevika hungrily taking in the sight of you two. You wink at Vi, getting off of her strap and approaching Sevika.

“You’re the one getting the attention tonight.” You purr, pulling her over to the bed, “Lay down, baby.” You peck her on the lips.

“I thought I told you I don’t like doing this?” Sevika chuckles, doing as you say. Vi is immediately parting Sevika’s thighs, the dildo covered with your slick rubbing against her slit. You liked to watch when your partners fucked each other, but specifically when Vi got to Dom Sevika.

“That’s a lie, Sev.” Vi smirks, slowly pushing the dildo in and making her bite her lip, “You like getting fucked by your girls. You just don’t want to admit it.” You sit on the bed next to her, kissing at Sevika’s exposed chest and letting your hand trail down to her clit. You hum in delight at her swollen bud, tapping your finger on it and getting a twitch of her lips.

“You know your safe words.” You add on, your fingers working her clit in slow circles as Vi moves in and out of her at the same pace. The two of you always chose to start off slow with her. If she felt uncomfortable with it, it gave her a chance to stop before anything really started.

“You’re right. My wives enjoy my body.” Sevika smiles softly, “You two get so happy when I let you touch me that I find it adorable. So, I do like when- Fuck, Vi!” You giggle, Vi giving an innocent smile as she pretends like she didn’t just hit her g-spot.

“Sorry, Sev. You were saying?” Vi teases her, making Sevika growl. You go back to Sevika’s boobs, sucking on her nipples and leaving hickeys as you play with her clit. Her hand finds your hair, fingers gently twining with the strands as you do. Her soft groans mixed with Vi’s moans bring you joy. You love watching her face as she shyly - though she’d never admit it - tries to hold her moans back. And, the way her body rocks with Vi’s thrusts and she tries to hide how much she likes it.

Sevika wasn’t used to being appreciated and having her body worshiped like this. This was only the third time you’d done this, and you knew that it made her a little apprehensive each time. But, your favorite thing to do with Vi is praise her for what she does.

“I couldn’t wait to get my cock in you after you fucked me last night.”

“You fuck us so well, we have to return the favor, baby.”

“This is how you make us feel, Daddy.”

“Does this feel good? Having your wives show their appreciation for you?”

“I want your thighs to shake as you make mine.”

Sevika was letting the two of you take care of her. It made you happy because she deserves to be the one pampered at times. You all knew that she preferred to be the one to take care of you both, but you wanted her to experience that, too. What better way to do that than to have your body worshiped by your wives?

“Are you going to cum for us, Daddy?” You coo, recognizing her tells.

“Yes.” Sevika groans, her grip on your hair tightening, “Don’t stop.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Vi hums, leaning down to kiss her. It’s not long before Sevika moans, her hand fisting your hair as she cums. You perk up, licking your lips and waiting for her to let go of your hair so you can move. Vi pulls out, and you’re switching places between Sevika’s legs.

“Someone’s eager to get a taste.” You hear Vi chuckle as you kiss the inside of Sevika’s thigh.

“I’m not wasting any time.” You hum, fingers toying with her slit, “I don’t get to do this often.” You put your fingers in, feeling Sevika’s warm, sticky walls welcome you. You suck on her clit as you finger her, finally hearing her moans now that Vi got her to relax. Speaking of your wife, you can hear her teasing Sevika, “All it takes is Y/n’s mouth, baby?”

“That’s what she does to me.” You giggle as you move from her clit to her pussy.

“This-” Sevika moans as you slip your tongue into her, “-is unfair.”

“You can have your way with us after.” Vi purrs, before you hear them making out. You practically shove your face into your wife’s cunt, taking advantage of the opportunity. You eat her out like you’re starved, earning you a lack of air as Sevika’s thighs slowly start to close around your head. A noise leaves your throat when you feel a hand grip your hair, keeping you as close to her pussy as possible. You can feel her walls tremble around your tongue as her thighs keep you pinned. A loud moan sounds as Sevika cums and you continue through it, lapping up all of her juices.

You take a deep breath and sit up once she relaxes her thighs. Your head spins slightly as you try to get air back into your lungs.

“You know I thought you’d pass out.” Vi teases you, guiding you back over to her. You idly note that she no longer has her strap-on.

“It’d be a dream come true.” You playfully swoon, “Suffocated between my wife’s muscular thighs.”

“Keep that up and you will be.” Sevika snorts, sitting up, “I’m going to get cleaned up. You two, don’t move.” She warns you, making you raise an eyebrow. You two shrug at each other as she goes into the bathroom. Vi suddenly grins and tackles you onto the bed causing you to yelp. You grin back and playfully wrestle with her, rolling around on the bed trying to top the other.

“Aha! I win!” You shout in victory, pinning Vi underneath you with a cheeky grin.

“I totally let you win.” Vi scoffs, a grin on her face, “You’re not as strong as I am.”

“Hey!” You gasp, making her laugh. Movement in the corner of your eye has you look up at Sevika, before something else brings your attention down. ‘Oh shit.’ Your eyes widen at the sight of her strap. Instead of there only being one dildo, there’s two of them - both the same length and girth.

“Uh, Sev? W-whatcha got there?” Vi stutters, eyes wide like yours.

“A new toy.” Sevika smirks, walking behind you, “I was going to try it out soon, and what better time than on our wedding night?” You squeak as you’re moved to lay on top of Vi, who’s looking at you in interest. You’re mutually surprised - and turned on - by Sevika’s forward behavior.

“So.” You freeze, locking eyes with Vi when you feel the slick head of her strap press against you, “Yes or No?”

“Yes.” You and Vi chorus, grinning at each other before your brief moment of amusement is broken. Sevika thrusts into you, making you suck in a sharp breath as Vi hisses. When you look at Vi, you’re pretty sure that you have the same thought. ‘We’re done for.’

You had tried to hold yourself up for the first few minutes, but that quickly failed. The dildos that your wife is using are new, with bumps along the shaft that find your g-spot every time. Each thrust and draw back is a constant stimulation for your poor walls. You and Vi kiss, tongues dancing around each other as you moan into each other’s mouths. The pleasure you’re feeling has no end to it. Your body is pressed to Vi’s, breasts and clits rubbing against each other with every thrust from Sevika.

“Daddy, this is too much.” You gasp, pleasure shooting up your spine.

“I agree.” Vi groans, “Go easy on us!”

“Go easy on you?” Sevika chuckles, “I am. I haven’t even changed pace, yet.” If this was her taking it easy, you weren’t prepared for when she decided to stop teasing the two of you.

“Fuck.” You whisper, making Vi flash a smile at you. She pulls you into a kiss, biting at your lip and taking control. The one thing she can control right now. And the kiss gets more and more desperate as the need to orgasm grows. You and Vi are trying to grind your clits together while Sevika fucks you, but that doesn’t help the need to cum.

“Sev!” Vi pants, “Sev, go faster!”

“Are you sure about that, bunny?” You can hear the smirk in her voice.

“Yes!” You answer for her, “I need to cum!”

“Please!” Vi adds on, not wanting to get edged tonight for forgetting manners.

“You asked for it.” Sevika hums. Her pace picks up and you instantly realize that you regret it. ‘Holy shit, I can’t even- Where does the pleasure even end?!’ You groan. The pressure in your abdomen is tight, teetering right on the edge and it’s breaking before you realize it. You moan loudly, hearing Vi do the same as your orgasm rocks through you. But, Sevika doesn’t stop and you realize that it’s going to be a long night. After all, it’s your wedding night.

And you’re right. Vi’s hands are grasping your body, her fingers digging into your skin for something to hold onto. Sevika was fucking you at a brutal pace that made breathing hard to concentrate on. No words could come out of your mouth, and you know that Vi’s in the same position as you. You weren’t sure how many times you and Vi came, but it was enough that the two of you were spent.

“Awe, look at you two.” Sevika coos, slowly easing you through your last orgasm, “I should have done this sooner.” She chuckles, pulling out of you. You groan, relieved yet feeling odd at the emptiness. You hear the sound of something hitting the ground, before Sevika is gently moving you off of Vi. The fog that had a hold on you is finally starting to clear. You yawn, snuggling up to Vi who does the same. With a kiss to your forehead, you watch Sevika go into the bathroom and hear the water running.

“Are you alive?” Vi whispers.

“Barely.” You mutter back.

“…I kind of miss it.”

“…Me too.” You both giggle.

“Bath’s ready.” Sevika says, leaning in the doorway, “It’s a bubble bath.” You and Vi are immediately scrambling out of bed, sleepiness forgotten in favor of a bubbly heaven. The two of you race to the bathtub, grabbing Sevika as you do. You had chosen to get a big bathtub that’ll fit all three of you. And, when it’s just you, you have more than enough space to stretch out and relax.

“First bath with my wives.” You hum, getting into the tub, sighing in relief as the warm water relaxes your muscles.

“What happened to being sleepy?” Sevika chuckles as you and Vi move over to her.

“A bubble bath, duh.” Vi says teasingly, kissing her on the cheek. After a soak in the bath, you grab a bunch of blankets and jump on top of Sevika and Vi who were making out. You giggle as you bounce on the bed, your wives laughing at your childish behavior.

“So, I am too awake to go to bed.” Vi says, laying her legs across your lap, “What are we doing?”

“I was thinking that I can give my wives massages?” You smile, lifting up the lotion.

“You just want to feel our muscles.” Sevika smirks, “Don’t you, kitten?”

“Yes, yes I do.” You nod, “Now come on, turn over.” You insist. Vi takes the lotion from your hands and puts it on the bedside table. Sevika grabs you and drags you over to them, before cuddling you into the mattress. Vi clicks the light out, the only source coming from the little fairy lights dangling from the ceiling. You squeak at the weight of Sevika’s metal arm, surprised that she’s putting all of her weight on you. Vi hooks her leg around yours and rests her arm over Sevika’s metal one. Both women pin you between them, kissing your cheek and closing their eyes.

“W-What are you doing?” You stutter, confused.

“It’s time for bed.” Sevika cracks an eye open to look at you, “Go to sleep.”

“But-!”

“-Shhhhh.” Vi covers your mouth, “Your wives are telling you to go to bed. Sleep, kitten.”

“…I love you both.” You giggle, making them chuckle.

“I love you, too.” They chorus and the room falls silent once more.

“…Are we actually going to sleep?” You question.

“Say something else and I’ll tickle you.” Your wives threaten you, and that makes you close your eyes and try to fall asleep. ‘Wives… now that’s something I can get used to.’

#vi x reader #sevika x reader #vi x sevika #vi x reader x sevika #polyamory #wlw polyamory #vi smut #sevika smut

[idontplaytrack]

“bye, softie jr.”

- rosa diaz x teen daughter!reader -

continuation to “you’re a softie”

in which, the 99 finally meets y/n. unplanned.

warnings: the squad being their usual chaotic selves & rosa being an (over) protective mama. (i love rosa being soft, lol)

You always wondered how it was possible that no one on the squad’s somehow run into you while you were out with Rosa. Your Mom’s somehow never run into her colleagues outside of work, while she was with you, at least. Due to your closeness in age, the two of you have been mistaken for siblings on many occasions. And on this fine day, you had a first date gone…bad and needed keys to get home. But you left them at home since you left home the same time as Rosa that day to go to school. After school let out at 2:30, you went to lunch with Amelia from your Social Studies class. She was nice, and you liked her- but at the end of the lunch, you’ve come to realise you didn’t actually like her the way you thought you did. Being a 15-minute walk away from the precinct, you decided to use the fact that you needed the house keys as an excuse to mess with her. She wasn’t against you meeting them, thus you your decision to go to the 9-9. Stepping out of the elevator and entering the bullpen, you headed straight for Rosa’s desk barely having to look where you were going.

“Been expecting you. How was the date?”

“Fine, but that was also the last.” You told her and she pulls the one earbud you had in, off. Just for the heck of it.

“Why? Did they do anything-”

“No, I just don’t really vibe with her at all, that’s all. I’m perfectly fine.” You assured.

“Good.”

“I need your keys. Forgot to grab mine since we left together this morning.”

You could feel the eyes on you but you tried to ignore them.

“Here.” She opens up her drawer to get them, “Be home when I’m home. Otherwise, I can’t get in.”

“Of course.” You stifled a laugh, “What time do you clock out?”

“From the looks of it, 6:30? Maybe 7. I’ll pick up dinner on the way, how’s that?”

“That’s great.” You gave her a big smile on purpose just to see how she’d react.

“Hey, Rosa.” Amy says as she walked by you, “Wait—” She stops in her tracks and turned on her heels to take a good look. By now, everyone Rosa worked with was watching. Amy was the last one.

“Who’s this, Roro?” Charles asked.

“Call me that again and I’ll burn your sourdough starter to a crisp.” Rosa threatened. You let a laugh slip- you simply couldn’t take her seriously. She wasn’t like this with you at all- this was an act.

“She looks like she could be your sister.” Terry noted.

“Nope.” Rosa answered, “Try again.” You and Rosa shared a glance. Truthfully, the answer could not have been more obvious if it weren’t for the close age gap. You were pretty much a spitting image of your Mother— thank goodness.

“No way- it can’t be.” Jake broke the silence. Amy analysed Rosa’s face then yours, noting that the two of you had your arms crossed the same, with the same expressions on your face. Even the way you were dressed- heavily influenced by Rosa’s style. A light bulb went off in her mind.

“Rosa, I cannot believe this- you have a teenage daughter and this is first time we’re meeting her?!”

Terry’s mouthful of yogurt felt like it got caught in his throat, Charles nearly spilled his coffee all over himself, Jake’s bag of gummies and jellybeans fell from his hand and hilariously scattered all over the floor. Hitchcock and Scully? As clueless as ever. Solely focused on their bags of chips. Oh, and Gina who immediately snapped a photo of you two side by side. There was pin drop silence in the bullpen up until Holt came out to check on his squad. “Why is it so quiet? This is extremely unlike your usual selves.” He remarked, then he quickly spotted an unfamiliar person— you standing by Rosa’s desk. Now, it got awkward.

“They’ve just met my daughter and they’re shocked.” Rosa informs him.

“I see.” He nodded emotionlessly, “Nice to meet you, y/n.”

“Captain Holt. Likewise.” You gave him a polite smile.

“Everybody, get back to work.” He ordered. The buzz continues. “Will you guys wait until I’ve at least left the precinct to talk about me?” You sassed.

“How old are you?” Jake asked.

“17.”

“Damn. Respect, Rosa.” Jake’s eyes widened, “You were 18?!”

“Okay, that’s it. You guys already know too much.” Rosa decided, “No more questions. y/n, go home.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You joked.

“Stop it.” She said back, acting cracking a smile.

“Boy, I haven’t seen you this close to smiling since never.” Jake commented.

“I heard you had a date? Who’s the lucky guy?” Boyle asks.

“Charles, right?” You cleared your throat, “I’m a lesbian, so there was no guy.”

“Oh. I- I am so sorry.” He stutters.

“Why are you afraid of a 17-year old?” Rosa snorted.

“Why isn’t she afraid of you?” Charles retorted before he even thought it through.

“I am loving this.” Gina sighs.

“Why would she need to be? We’re practically best friends.” She shrugged. Now, they were even more curious about how Rosa was like outside of work. “Okay, you need to get home.”

“I’m going, I’m going. I know.” You sigh, throwing your hands up in mock defeat, “You’ll pick up my prescription?”

“I remember, y/n, yes.”

The squad says bye to you as you turned to leave. In retrospect, you could’ve easily passed some time at the nearby library and did some work but you weren’t going to pass up the opportunity to meet her friends officially.

“Byeee, softie…junior.” Jake called out, causing you to laugh as you hit the elevator button.

#rosa diaz #jake peralta #amy santiago #captain holt #charles boyle #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #alternative universe

[ecargmura]

My Love Story With Yamada-kun At Lv 999 Is A Romance You Should Definitely Watch (Anime Review)

If there’s a studio that can capture romance well, it’d be Madhouse. The way they animate romantic scenes in anime is immaculate. I absolutely loved My Love Story!! And how romance was animated in Cardcaptor Sakura and Bibliophile Princess (which I still need to finish). My Love Story With Yamada-kun at Lv. 999 is a prime example of well-animated romantic scenes and fluffy, colorful animation.

My Love Story With Yamada-kun at Lv. 999 is a shoujo romance story between gamers. 20-year-old college student Akane Kinoshita gets dumped by her boyfriend one day as he fell for another girl over the internet. In an attempt to get him back, she attends a game event, trips and meets a handsome guy named Akito Yamada who picks up her shoe. Akane learns three things about him: 1. He’s Afro Yamada from FOS, the game she plays and the focus of the event she is attending; 2. He’s a well-known gamer that her ex-boyfriend ignores her when he sees them together; 3. Yamada is an 18-year-old high school student. Does that stop Akane from falling for him? Nope. She falls for him because that is the point of the story!

I’ll address the elephant in the room first. I’ve seen people on social media berate the age difference between the two leads because one is a college student and the other is a high school student. 18 and 20 isn’t a big gap, contrary to Twitter’s belief. A two year age difference is nothing special. There are a lot of pairs with a two year age difference. There’s no difference in maturity levels as both characters are mature in their own ways. There is nothing problematic with this story or the characters. If you think a two-year age gap is weird, then maybe you’re the weird one…

In all honesty, I really like the premise of having gamers fall in love. In today’s society, gaming is the trend, so it was clever of the author to ride on that and to make a romance out of it. I think the way this story was written is actually crafted well from a writer’s perspective. Akane isn’t shown to be a nerdy gamer; she plays games casually and is fashionable and pretty. It shows that anyone can play games and it shows in Episode 3 where Akane meets up with her guild members that aren’t Yamada in real life. They range from a handsome bespectacled 19-year-old college student Eita who catfishes as the guild master Rurihime, his gremlin younger sister Runa who’s in middle school and strawberry farmer Takezo Kamota who’s much older than all of them. It shows that anyone of all ages can enjoy games and that there’s no shame in doing so.

Sure, there are conflicts every now and then like Akane not being over her boyfriend, Runa getting jealous and protective over her circle of friends that she had to trick Akane, and Yamada’s classmate Tsubaki having a crush on him, but they all get resolved efficiently and without the need to drag out time. I actually like that! Sometimes, shoujo and romance animes can be hard because some conflict drag out and ruins the flow (I’m looking at you, Kimi ni Todoke with your Kento/miscommunication plot point). 

The characters are all nicely written for a romance anime. Akane is a twenty-year-old girl and a college student. While she is the older one in her relationship with Yamada, that doesn’t mean she’s mature. She has problems and issues that most young girls face like not getting over rejection, being overly trusting and overthinking. People would think, “Oh, you’re an adult, you have to start acting like one”. Adulthood isn’t all sunshine and rainbows as people might expect and Akane proves that. College students are dumb and a mess; I would know because I was dumb and a mess at that age. I also like the fact that she does have dating experience. Akane, in general, is a fun character and a good shoujo lead; I think wasted/drunk Akane is the most hilarious thing ever. I love that she has different outfits! They’re all so cute and a few look like something I’d wear casually!

Yamada is rather mature for a high school boy. However, as a gamer, he’s rather unrealistic because most gamers I’ve seen are loud, constantly online, and probably lacks a love interest. How often do you see a tall, handsome gamer who treats women well? How often do you meet such a gamer guy outside of gaming? Despite his rather unrealistic qualities, I do think that he and Akane match well because of their personality differences and just how kind and respectful they are to each other. Yamada is only awkward with romance and girls because he had hurt someone in the past and doesn’t want to step out of his boundaries to hurt anyone again. I guess my only gripe with Yamada would be that he’s voiced by Kouki Uchiyama who’s voiced dozens of characters similar to him so it’s to be expected that he’d voice this guy too (this is the fourth anime I’ve seen that has him in the cast; three of them are the same character with black hair and one is a marmot); it’s not a bad thing to be typecasted since it is a job for voice actors. I do like Uchiyama a lot! I just feel like it’s to be expected in a way?

I do like how Eita has the qualities to be the second lead, but he’s not. He’s mainly in the story to be supportive and help our main duo get together. He’s a long time friend of Akito’s. Eita’s probably my favorite character in this anime because of how entertaining he is. When his identity as Rurihime is revealed, he goes on and on about his relationship with Rurihime (he just likes playing as a female character in general) and doesn’t think him being a catfisher is weird. Yeah, you do you, Eita! I do like how he’s a good big brother to Runa; he scolds her when she does something bad, but he is generally caring and supportive of her. He’s also somewhat of a big brother to Akito since he’s a year older than him. Eita is a vital character in this story because he’s the reason why Akane is in the guild and why Akane and Yamada eventually got together.

Runa looked to be a romantic rival at first, but she’s just a lonely girl with no friends. She’s protective of Yamada and such because she doesn’t want change in her life and just wants things to be the same. Although the prank she played on Akane was bad and dangerous, she does get Akane’s forgiveness by becoming her friend, which Runa enjoys and appreciates. She’s a definitive younger sister character with her snark and sassiness. She’s also a very timid character as she gets nervous easily. I’m glad that she is someone that I got to warm up to in the anime and that she doesn’t continuously play pranks on Akane to kick her out of the guild. My only gripe with Runa is that her game avatar doesn’t appear once in the anime. What does it look like? I want to know!

Kamota is the last of the major Chocorabbit guild members (before Tsubaki’s arrival) and is the oldest. He’s such an adorable character. I think the fact that he’s an older character, thus has so many connection makes realistic sense. If you don’t know, being an older Asian person means you know practically everyone in your community; my parents are like this as they practically know a lot of people in the Korean community where I live. He was yelling at the creepy suit guy in Episode 5 (voiced by OnoD) and telling him that he has a lawyer friend was peak. He’s also hilarious in the FOS world where his character is a tiny fuzzball, but when in battle, he grows ten times bigger and becomes the OP-est member. It’s a waste to not see what his avatar’s powered up self looks like.

Of the side characters, I think Momo is my favorite because she’s so supportive of Akane. While she does envy Akane at times, it’s more of a friendly kind. She’s always supportive of her and is her biggest emotional support when things look bad for her. I do hope she gets the boyfriend of her dreams.

Okamoto and Tsubaki are Yamada’s friends from school. Tsubaki’s role is that she has a crush on him, but is also a gamer. She joins Chocorabbit a bit later in the anime and does get along with Akane. Okamoto is comic relief. I do want to see more of his friends, honestly. They do seem like good people for Yamada to hang out with them constantly.

The voice acting is pretty good since they get a good mix of well-known voice actors in the cast. Inori Minase and Kouki Uchiyama play the leads while Natsuki Hanae, Ai Kakuma and Nobuo Tobita are the supporting cast. That’s pretty solid all around. I think the two most standout voice actors are Ai Kakuma and Nobuto Tobita. Kakuma has two roles in the anime: Rurihime and Runa. The fact that she voices both characters differently shows off her talent. Rurihime has a cute tone befitting an avatar while Runa is soft-spoken with a lot of snark and grouch. Tobita’s voice as Takezo is really good. He voices him adorably but when things get dire, he changes his tone to a deeper one. I really liked the way he voiced his avatar character the most.

The music in the anime’s good. The music used in the romantic scenes is so soothing and brings out the vibe so well. The opening and ending songs are good too! You can’t go wrong with Kana-boon!

There’s nothing I particularly disliked about this anime, which is good! I totally recommend this anime to anyone wanting to watch romance animes. Heck, this has become one of my favorite romances now. I’m glad I was able to watch it and enjoy it! I think there should be more college-themed romances or even gimmicky ones like gamers falling in love. This is the last of the Spring 2023 animes I’ve watched, so I’m glad to finally be able to review this. What are your thoughts on this anime if you have seen it?

#my love story with yamada kun at lv999 #yamada kun to lv999 no koi wo suru #Akane Kinoshita #Akito Yamada #Eita sasaki #Runa Sasaki #Takezo Kamota #Yukari Tsubaki #Momoko Maeda #romance #review #gaming #gamers #anime #anime review #ecargmura #arum journal #shoujo anime #spring 2023 anime

[weirdozjunkary]

Golden heart (SATBK au fic) chapter 5

I had to do a bit of retconning and mashing together with Galahad considering his cannon origins. For context now, he is merged with Galahaut (because they’re names are similar). Also his story is fucking hilarious. More questions and answers are to come, so hold on and wait!

Chapter1 Chapter4 Chapter6

Chapter 5- stories untold

“WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!” Sonic yelped as he desperately tried to stop himself. His shoes cried out loudly against the wooden floor, straining against the friction he was putting on them.

His efforts were useless as his momentum carried him into the two knights, and the two knights right into the king. 

They crashed onto the hardwood and Sonic launched off to face plant onto the floor a foot or two away. Lancelot sprung onto his feet and darted his attention to the speedy hedgehog. Galahad helped the king up, apologizing profusely to him. Sonic got himself onto his feet, his face stung from the fall, and his shoes smelt of burnt rubber again from his failed attempt at removing his momentum.

“What is the meaning of this…?” Blue groaned as he relaxed his quills.

“I’m so sorry Sire!” Galahad apologized. “We were-“

“We were trying to catch this intruder, who thought he could just walk right into castle grounds!” Lancelot interrupted and pointed at Sonic who was rubbing the pain off of his face.

The kings droopy lids fell more as he became unimpressed. “This is what I was hearing?”

“Y-you heard us Sire?” Galahad asked.

“Of course I did!” Blue dusted off his cape. “You two are the loudest ones in this castle! Apart from him.” He pointed to Sonic.

Lancelot looked at the king, puzzled and a bit nervously. “Y-You…. Know him, Sire?”

“Of course I do! I was the first one to even SEE him! He flew out of a book for Gaias sake!” He folded his hands behind his back. “As well, seeing a younger version of yourself, you know a thing or two about that kind of guest.”

“Wait…. He was telling the truth about being from a different world?!” Galahad said in disbelief.

“Are you serious right now? He even LOOKS like me from 17 years ago! Are you brain dead?”

“Okay, no need to insult them, your highness…” Sonic said sheepishly.

“I…… um…” Lancelot studdered and blushed in shame.

“I don’t want to hear it!” Blue said flatly. “Please, just go back to what you were doing. I don’t want to hear anything more from you two today.”

The knights bowed their heads. “Yes Sire. Sorry Sire.” Lancelot apologized. The two turned tail and left without another word, leaving sonic and the king in the silent room.

“Uh…. We’ll, that was sure…. Something…” Sonic fidgeted with his legs. “Think you were a little to hard on them?”

“I thought I told you to not let anyone see you?” Blue said, not looking at Sonic.

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t realize they were nearby...”

“It’s fine.” Blue sighed. “I should have told them about you from the start. They’re not exactly the brightest at discerning who is truly a threat or not. He turned and grinned at him.

“Eh, I wouldn’t discourage their abilities too easily.” Sonic walked over to the king. “Sometimes they’re just confused or misled. Not the first time I tussled with the likes of them before either.”

“Really?” Blue raised a brow.

“Yeah. With Shadow, or who you recognize as Lancelot, he was a BIG jerk! He was working with Dr. Eggman, who is like my number one enemy at this point. Uh, do you have a Dr. Eggman? Never mind- Shadow was working with him, and he wanted to destroy the world because of some… uh- things I don’t want to talk about without his permission, it’s still a sore topic to him.” 

Sonic rubbed the back of his neck. “But let’s just say that Humanity wronged him so he wanted revenge. He snapped out of that and helped me save the world though. I thought he was dead after, but nope. He’s alive and as grouchy as always, haha!”

“Huh, that’s… something.” Blue was intrigued by the story Sonic told. His duel with Lancelot 17 years ago was somewhat different to what Sonic had said about him and Shadow. It seemed that they were alike, but different in ways too. Perhaps it was the age difference.

“What about Galahad? Or, your version of him?” Blue said, wanting to hear more of the hedgehog.

“Oh, that would be Silver! My mind is kinda all over the place about him. I feel like I’ve met him before when I did.” Sonic put a hand to his head as he tried to get his mind straight. “I met him as I was trying to stop this guy who was posing as Dr. Eggman. The guy said he needed to get to him first, so I challenged him to a race! First one to get to the poser wins! And he put up a decent challenge! But even after I won, the guy still had a very sour attitude, I didn't know what his deal was till he finally told me that that wasn’t Eggman.”

“Who was he?” Blue asked.

“Eh, some guy I tussled with a while ago. He calls himself ‘Eggman Nega’.”

“Are you serious?” Blue tried to hold in his laughter.

“I’m serious! The guy even said he HATED Eggman! Yet called himself ‘Eggman Nega’ and then POSES as him? I can’t believe it myself, and I SAW it!”

Blue laughed loudly in response. The hedgehog's stories were amusing, he had to admit.

“What about you?” Sonic asked. “I bet you have a TON of great stories locked up in the Ol noggin, huh?”

The king's laugh faltered, his smile wavering. He shook his head and glanced away. “You wouldn’t want to hear any of my stories.”

“What?! Of course I do! And if you’re like me, I bet they’ll all be ACTION PACKED!”

“Yes…. And they’re all the same. Some threat comes and I go to take it down…. That’s how it always has been…”

“Yeah, but… I do that stuff too! Like every month I’m out beating some bad guy! Sure, it’s the same, but I love it! Heck, I love it almost as much as I love chillidogs!”

“You still need to tell me what a chillidog is...”

“What I’m saying is that, it doesn’t matter if the plotline is the same. The best kind of adventure is the high stakes! The adrenaline! The friends you make along the way! Life is fun if you make it fun! At least… that’s what I figure!”

Sonic smiled at the king, and the king hid his face in his cape. His tired eyes glanced down at the floor. He was silent. Again.

Sonics smile faded. “….. Hey, if you don’t want to tell me about your adventures, fine. But why not tell me about Lancelot and Galahad? I told you about Shadow and Silver, I want to know about these guys.”

Blue stood and thought for a second. “…. Okay. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”

Sonic smiled again and wagged his tail, he was always up for a good story. He might’ve been a bit too excited as the king smiled and rolled his eyes, sighing at the young hedgehog.

“You’re going to have to walk with me though, I have things to do.”

“Like what? Sighting and sulking around the castle?” Sonic teased.

“Do you want to hear the story or not?” Blue said as he began walking.

“Sorry!” Sonic hopped from foot to foot to catch up with the king. He gracefully stuck out a hand. “You may proceed with your story!”

Blue chuckled. “Well, Lancelot wasn’t special. It was just after I-...” he stopped himself from saying it. That name… that sword. It stung his throat to even think of it. He inhaled. “He had challenged me to a duel and I accepted. He put up a good fight, the best fighter on the team next to Gawain.” 

He shut his eyes. “I couldn’t deal the final blow to him. It wasn’t right. To kill someone just because they failed…”

“Yeah, I get that.” Sonic said. “Good or bad, everyone should deserve a second chance. No one should die just because they were bad one time.”

“…. What if they’re bad all the time?” Blue asked.

Sonic rubbed his arm. “Well… I know that deep down… even if every time they’ve done the worst things, they’re can be a smidge of kindness inside of them. I’ve seen it. That’s why that no matter what happens, I get up and fight. For myself and for everyone who deserves the same freedom as me.”

Sonic smiled softly. His words were genuine, he’s seen people turn around firsthand, and those people could not be happier for meeting him. Every single one of his adventures, he has helped someone. Human or animal, good or bad. The fact that he could have made someone better, that’s what kept him going.

A pit formed in the kings stomach. He agreed with everything he said, and it made him feel awful. The undoubtful kindness that Sonic had was only matched by the king himself. Kindness that Blue regretted ever believing in. And hate he wished he never have used.

“Sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I?” Sonic rubbed the bottom of his nose. “You can continue your story.”

“… I…” Blue sighed. “I don’t have much else to say for Lancelot.”

“Well, what about Galahad?” Sonic asked.

Blue paused to think, then chuckled. “His story is actually fairly funny.”

“Then tell it! Come on man!” Sonic bounced a bit before stopping himself. “Uh- sorry, I mean, your highness…. Does that work?”

Blue crossed his arms and sighed. “Sir. Galahad was a great knight, beloved by many. He would have been a great king, but he refused a crown, at least till he conquered my kingdom, he had said. At the time he had thought I was the fake King Arthur, an illusion created by the head wizard merlina.” 

The king ran a hand through his quills. “I’ll tell that story another time. I fought Galahad head on, he’s an excellent fighter, especially for how young he is.” He turned to Sonic. “He’s the youngest out of all the knights.”

Sonics eyes widened with shock. “Really? Huh. Seems to be having a lot going for him.”

Blue nodded. “He actually almost took me out. He managed to take… the sword out of my hand.” He strained those last words out his throat. “I would’ve been dead if Lancelot hadn’t stepped in and blocked the blow. They matched each other almost perfectly, it was like they were in cynic with each other.”

“Heh, kinda like they were related or something?” Sonic added in with a smirk.

The king looked at sonic and cringed at his comment. It gave sonic a moment to think. “… what?” Sonic said.

The king cleared his throat. “Nothing… just…” he inhaled and folded his hands behind his back. “Galahad forfeited the fight. He walked up to me and kneeled. He said that he wanted to join my side…” he put a hand over his mouth to hide a smirk, but it came through with his speech. “…. To be able to fight alongside Lancelot.” The king choked a chuckle. “He is utterly smitten about him... because of his ‘swordsmanship’. “

Sonic raised a brow at the kings amusement over galahad. Why was it so funny? It took him a little bit longer than it should have before the realization hit him like a punch from knuckles.

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” Sonic yelled.

The king wheezed and put his hands on his knees. “YEAH!”

“Oh my gaia…. This is something I never thought I’d think of…”

“I swear, EVERY TIME Lancelot comes into the room, Galahad is head over heels for him! Face as red as Gawain’s dreads!” The king continued to laugh.

“Damn, I didn’t think Silver would be into the ‘tall dark and handsome’ type! I guess ‘handsome’ IS in the title!”

The king choked and coughed, his laughter made his chest and throat sting. He couldn’t hold it as long as he used to.

“Are you okay?” Sonic asked.

Blue coughed. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Just something that comes with age I guess.”

“I think you’re only like 17 years older than me.” Sonic pointed out.

“Still makes me older than you!” 

The king instinctively ruffled Sonics head like he used to with Miles. He lifted his hand up and they both froze. Sonic looked up at the king, whose face was red with embarrassment. He had only been patted on the head a few times before, but each time felt a little weird. It was usually by someone who did it to disregard the hedgehog's abilities, or Tails who just wanted to return after he had patted the little foxes head. 

This felt different, is this how Tails felt? All those times he patted his brothers head? This feeling was… good. It made him feel loved, a warm feeling in his chest that, sure, he had felt to some extent, but not like this. Usually that warm feeling was coated in a layer of ‘being the big brother’. But now he wasn’t the big brother, not here. He was the youngest out of everyone, even Miles was older than him. He would've feel bittersweet about it, but he strangely didn’t. Maybe he needed something like that for a while now.

The king blushed in embarrassment at his instincts. Patting this kid like he did to Miles. He didn’t know what to think, he felt conflicted in his emotions. Embarrassed? Happy? Upset? Proud? Everything was to much for him. What was he to do? What can he say? What should he say?

Blue stammered. “I…. Have some things to do. You can go around and… um… introduce yourself to the other knights… if you meet them…” 

Before the blue hedgehog could say anything, the king had already hurried out of view. “I….. alright.” Sonic said. He didn’t have the chance to ask him about something he had planned after dinner…. Maybe it was better to keep it a secret till then. 

Sonic sighed and turned to the other direction, bumping face first into a new figure. He stumbled back. “Ah! Sorry!” He looked up at who he ran into.

A tall purple cat stood before him. Blaze the cat, or we’ll, whoever was taking her place. She strangely only wore her visor, nothing else to accompany it. Sonic thought back to Miles' comments from earlier in the day.

“So uh, you must be… Sir. Percival, huh?” Sonic said. He stuck out a hand to her and smiled. “Nice to finally meet you!”

Percival didn’t react, instead she stared at the blue hedgehog and then his hand. Her visor obscured her face and any expression she might’ve been making.

“It’s nice to meet you to.” She bowed before walking past him without another word. Sonic was used to the slightly cold exterior that Blaze had given him on occasion, she liked to keep to herself. But this was on the verge of how cold Shadow could be.

“Uh, okay… nice chat…” Sonic said. “What is up with the people here?” He talked to himself as he continued moving. “I hope I can figure out why everyone is so weird. I hate being out of the loop.”

#fanfiction #sonic fanfiction #longpost #sonic and the black knight #satbk #satbk au

[pink-car]

a list of the assorted thoughts i wrote down when watching my first hockey game

does anyone need to really know these? nope

- why do i root for my home team honestly

- milano is a fun last name

- they honestly are less smooth with the sticks that i was expecting. the random clacking i’ve experienced in school floor hockey is not,,, not happening. which makes sense because like,,, you’re fighting for the puck but Inchresting

- i wonder if it’s normal to be up by 3 and still in the 1st

- any time they just hit that shit as far as possible in the right direction is quite funny to me and reminds me of my own floor hockey strategy. no clue if that’s what they’re actually doing or if i’m missing a nuance but oh well. i know sometimes it’s to a player just way off but i swear sometimes they’re just smacking that shit

- i should have looked at players’ names before this

- oh i do not know positions. i mean i kinda do. like i can figure some of the names out.

- whatever analysis thing is happening now has a guy with a cool rainbow tie 👍

- “they haven’t looked that great” yeah i’ve noticed but when have i ever cared about that

- hey at least the devils are taking more shots on the goal now. even if it doesn’t result in anything

- leaving the goal as a goalie terrifies me. i could never. i get why you would to an extent but Scary

- oh hey look at us (new jersey) go (scored one (1) point)

- oh wow they even did it again

- not to expose myself as someone that doesn’t watch any sport besides motorsport, but it’s fun and visually stimulating to watch them all move

- oh wow again. that one was funky lmao. lots of scrambling

- my knees could not handle being a goalie

- i like this more than (american) football. i like that its just kinda like,,, “here’s the puck, go off” and not like,, “ah well you’ve formally lost the Sport Item so get fucked”

- though i don’t understand when the like,,, not restart but the like “everyone chill and line up again” thing happens and why

- ah the other hughes

- i forgot penalties would be a thing, huh

- i changed my mind. i do think i actually know the positions fine. i thought they were more complicated than they actually are

- i figured out how the penalty worked

- oh god why is it 9pm already

- i could not name a single famous hockey player now that i’m thinking about it. maybe if you said a name i could he like “oh yeah” but at least most other sports i can name like,, someone famous which i guess in an interesting commentary on the lack of focus on hockey in pop culture. i did watch a hockey movie in ap gov once but i cannot remember Anyone

- okay they just showed a wayne gretzky record thing and that is a name i could have been like “oh yeah” to

- i cannot stop hearing “strome” as “stroll”

- i don’t know if it was a strategy to throw yourself in front of the puck or he just fell but i hope it was a strategy because that’s hilarious

- i’m glad the commetators sound as surprised as i am cause this is such a funky breakdown of “i score all the points this period” back and forth between them lmao

- “last night 16 games” yeah please never do that again (they’re doing it again)

- honestly easier to understand than i thought. which i don’t know why i thought it would be super hard

- i just audibly said “eek” what the fuck is wrong with me

- empty net is such a wild concept. the fact that’s even a thing is hilarious. “what if we just. fucked around. went hard yknow”

- new jersey represent (we lost <3)

- i feel like a martin truex jr fan all over again

bonus from the interviews after:

- the rink is in NEWARK? i mean. it makes sense and i don’t know why i’m surprised but damn

overall interesting experience. would watch another game honestly. i’m trying to be normal though. and not. Extreme. i can’t do any more sports to the extreme my god

#nhl

[youhavethewrong]

Horror/Comedy: The most elusive genre of fiction

 In many regards, it is easy to consider Horror and Comedy to be about as opposite as two genres can go. Horror seeks to cause dread and fear in the viewers, while comedy (usually) seeks to comfort them and improve their moods. A good comedy can help you feel better after a bad day - a good horror can completely ruin a good one. Maybe this is why these two don’t often collide. Another reason could be that although Comedy is easily combined with other genres, like the RomCom, Horror is hardly ever mixed. More often than not, it just branches out into other kinds of horror, like Psychological horror or Slashers.

 However, something that is easy to forget is that Comedy and Horror are far more similar than one would assume. Both rely heavily in misdirection, surprising the viewer with an unexpected result. Both require perfect timing to pull off, and... well, this is not really related to my point here, but both have a tendency to be done reaaally badly when the people making them don’t care. Hack Comedy uses the not-actually-funny shorthand of fart jokes and falling down, while Hack Horror uses the not-actually-scary shorthand of jumpscares and loud sounds. Anyways.

 So if they supposedly go hand-in-hand so well, why is it they almost never meet? How come there’s almost no horror/comedy? Well, for starters, they’re each separately extremely difficult to pull off. Making someone laugh is not fucking easy, and neither is scaring someone. They require tremendous amount of talent and effort to do separately, so at the same time? When they already feel opposite? Forget about it! Secondly, it’s already quite difficult to picture something that is equals parts funny and scary. How would you even do that??

The first thing that came to mind when thinking about horror/comedies were those Scary Movie movies. Though I don’t really think they fall into horror territory? They’re not scary at all, they’re just spoof movies. They don’t even come up with their own ideas, they just borrow from popular horror. And they’re not even fucking funny. Comedy (in quotes) with horror elements, not what I’m looking for.

 Then I started looking for artists that are good at making both Comedy and Horror. The one with the biggest audience right now is obviously Jordan Peele. It’s certainly curious to think how he went from making a sketch show to becoming a horror movie director! There’s certainly a conversation to be had about how making the former helped him become better at the latter. Problem is, he either makes one or the other, not both at the same time. So is he what I’m looking for at the moment? Nope!

 Then my mind then went to a favorite of mine: Jack Stauber. His unique way of creating art has allowed him to make both hilarious comedy and touchingly deep horror. His masterpiece Opal is one of the most unique takes on the Horror genre I’ve seen! It’s not only stop-motion, which is quite rare, but a musical, which is even rarer! However, that one’s just horror. What about his individual sketches? The one that got closest to what I’m looking for right now is Future, though it’s... pretty hard to say it’s a joke? I’m sure some people would find it funny, but it’s difficult to say whether it was intended as such.

 Don’t worry though, I didn’t come here just to talk about an idea that I thought of with 0 examples. The whole reason I wanted to make this post talking about Horror/Comedy is because I watched the perfect example, and it made me realize that I hadn’t seen much else quite like it. And the example I watched came... from The Onion

 Although The Onion hasn’t been on its... best streak lately - mostly reposting articles from 7 years ago and making unimpressive TikToks - the Youtube content they created in the late 2000′s early 2010′s was... brilliant. And I don’t mean that as in “funny”, I mean that as in brilliant. Expertly written, produced, and performed layered comedy that drove points home. In The Know with Clifford Banes, and Today Now! being two of my favorite pieces of satire comedy. The Onion also seems particularly qualified to tackle Horror/Comedy, as the heart of their satire was pushing the inherent darkness and cruelty of the 24 hour news cycle to its highest possible, most absurd degree. And tackle it they did, in their 9-episode mini series Porkin’ Across America

 Porkin’ Across America is a parody of travel shows, where Jim Haggerty, host of morning news show Today Now!, travels around the 50 states looking for the best pork he can find. As this happens, his life starts steadily falling apart in the background, unraveling into a grotesque cacophony of errors. This show is, in my opinion, the best example of the Horror/Comedy genre. Because it’s not just comedy with horror elements, or horror with comedy elements: it’s the perfect combination of the two. The setup - misdirection structure that gives both genres their kick is used in tandem, intertwined. Punchlines to jokes are also horrifying revelations and imagery. I won’t spoil the ending, but I’ll just say this: the last line that is uttered is both the hilarious punchline to a series-long running joke, and such a horrible thing to say at that moment that it will send shivers down your spine. I highly recommend watching it, but be warned: the specific type of horror this show uses is body horror. You’ll be laughing, but you’ll also be extremely uncomfortable by the imagery. Definitely avoid this if that’s not your thing.

 Horror/Comedy is one of the rarest genre combinations in fiction, for a variety of reasons. It’s difficult to pull off, horror hardly mixes with other things, and most people don’t even know it can exist. But it can! And when it’s done well it’s an extremely unique experience, one that I believe is worth experiencing.

 I hope my explanation of this topic was clear enough, and I’m really excited to hear what you guys think! Can you think of any other work that could be defined with this genre? If so, I’d really like to hear it~

 Thank you for reading this whole stupid thing if you did! Yui OUT!

#yui rambles #if your immediate response to this is 'too long not gonna read' thats completely fine btw #this is a buncha paragraphs about something that matters very little #but if you do read it i'd appreciate it~ #i tried to make it at least a little entertaining

[presdestigatto]

🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

tagged by @solaireverie thank u bestie 🫶🐈

1. Who or what got you into F1?

so in 2018 my brother got an xbox and in 2022 f122 (?) was added to the game pass, he developed motorsport brainrot and would not stop blabbing to me about it 😽 then he mansplained the SG grand prix to me, i surprisingly found it interesting, and here i am

i think also i saw Seb trending on here in late 2022 and that made me more ‘aware’ of f1, in the sense that Seb was one of the few drivers i did know before, so there was some weird attachment there. there was a period of time where i stopped tuning in to the SG races (busy + covid) so that got me paying attention again

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

Ohhhh Charles Leclerc 🎊🎶 pretty much the same, i find the narrative around his career very compelling, i like his driving and he’s a cool guy

someone once asked me “did you just choose the first guy you saw on the TV” and honestly, if i think about it. Yeah. he was the first driver i saw when we switched on the race broadcast.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

Charles! if Seb makes a return then it’ll be him, but i’m assuming this means current drivers only.

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

my roman empire Sebchal…

Charles was the driver i liked and Seb was the driver i knew from my childhood so i was curious about the connection. i’m a big fan of the maturity with which they handled their off-track relationship; tbh my opinions of them as teammates purely-racing wise are mixed, but they’re also my two all-time favourites so my fondness gets amplified when they’re together

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite driver?

Well. my brother is a Lewis fan, my uncle is also a Lewis fan. from 2025 we’ll be an all Ferrari family 😮‍💨

my uncle has Lewis and Valterri’s driver cards and art prints of Coulthard and Barichello’s helmets in his house haha

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

Hockenheim 2019 and Hungaroring 2015!

i think Turkey 2010 also stands out in my memory thanks to arguably one of the funniest crashes in Seb’s career and the subsequent w2w between Jenson and Lewis.

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar

Sepang, the incline is cool i hope they bring it back

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

no money 😚😚 i could attend the SG GP but i heard you can’t see much, and tbh, the sg races are kind of snoozefests…

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

nope! the idea of it scares me honestly. i may cry if I see seb in the flesh

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

rb6 my speedy but unreliable queen

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

i probably haven’t been watching long enough to have one

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

i’m kind of obsessed with everything seb has ever said, particularly these:

“you, asking what happened at the start? // you came in like a torpedo” (rip kyvat)

“we have to remember these days. because there is no guarantee that they will last forever.” ♥️

also quite fond of Charles’ “it’s like this”, but hope we hear it less in 2024 🤞

tagging @verstappenclerc @baiuzennsenn @leqclerc @norrisgp @monacodarling if yall haven’t done it already!! (if u have, sorry 🫡) ++ anyone who wants to

#tag games

[girlblogger666]

Ok I’m obsessed with dad!eddie and I love your blog and here’s some dad!eddie ideas-

- like 100% he would practice EVERYTHING. Chrissy would wake up with her hair carefully braided and swaddled in a blanket because he wanted to make sure he could do both.

-He would watch My Little Pony with their daughter (and suddenly realize after 10 years where Erica got the name Lady Applejack lol).

-He’d obsessively vet any babysitter who came near his kids and give them the most ridiculous questions in interviews (“If my daughter is being kidnapped by Van Halen, where do you shoot him?” / “Umm… his leg so he can still play music?” / “Absolutely not, that’s a trick question- you don’t shoot him anywhere because you can’t bring a gun around my daughter. And you better not let her be kidnapped either. But thats not relevant anyway since you definitely don’t get the job.”). Ultimately, Chrissy makes him settle for either Hopper and Joyce or Uncle Wayne, or Murray when he’s in town.

-Also Wayne would definitely be their daughter’s favorite grandparent. He’d totally get her anything she wanted and spoil her completely. He’d research all the trends shes into (because he doesn’t know anything about these Backstreet Boys until she mentions it).

-Also Chrissy is definitely the one to teach their daughter to drive because Eddie the speed demon hasn’t driven above the speed limit since their daughter was born and is one of those parents who panic-holds the door handle and is like “BREAK!!” whenever you come within 30 ft of a stop sign.

-On that, their biggest fight was when Chrissy was in labor and he wouldn’t drive a mile over the speed limit because it would be too dangerous for them

-I love the idea of one of their daughter’s friends kinda having a similar background to his- like parents always working or neglectful or living with an extended family member and whatnot. Just never having the support they need. So Eddie and Chrissy become like their second parents and even though the friend’s kind of a trouble maker sometimes, they’ll listen to Eddie if he talks to them and gives advice and they spend all their time at the Munson house.

-also always, but especially in a Chrissy survives Vecna au, they definitely have music as a big part of their house and it almost kills Eddie when their daughter goes through a pop boyband phase in middle school (“but I love her, I love her, I’ll always support her… nomatterwhat😭 no matter if her music taste is completely mainstream… iloveheriloveheriloveher”) and by the time NSYNC or whatever starts growing on him, she switches over to heavy metal

OMFFFG TYYY MY DEAR FOR THIS!!! THESE ARE ALL WONDERFUL….🌸🤍

Okay so now to discuss hehe:

- 100% absolutely Eddie would definitely be super super super like cautionary in everything he does bc he just like wants to be a perfect dad?? Probs bc he didn’t have one growing up but his uncle taught him well enough!! (We stan Wayne anywaysss) but also Eddie is a lil insecure when it comes to his bab bc he doesn’t wanna do anything wrong and Chrissy is just there to be like… “baby, it’s okay nobody is perfect!”

-MLP YESSSSS I literally love that <3 I think Eddie would take inspiration and call his lil girl pinkie pie or something bc that would be her fav pony and then he’d also mentally smile bc he’d think of that one campaign where Erica literally saved the day bc of her very important appearance as Lady Applejack

-babysitters??? Pshhhh nope Eddie, even being the proper adult/father that he is now, would literally loveeee the idea of interviewing some teenager who’s willing to watch his kid just to mess with them! He thinks it’s hilarious to watch their reactions turn from neutral to concerned after he Interrogates them with his outrageous questions….and then there’s Chrissy who’s like “Eddie, they’re just teenagers who need a job, give them a break” and he simply argues with the fact of “so?? We were once annoying teenagers” but rlly Eddie doesn’t trust anyone who’s not an adult to watch over his precious being

-OKAY…..I’m literally an uncle Wayne stan till I die 🥺✋🏻 HE JUST SEEMS SO SWEET AND PURE and knowing that he took Eddie under his wing makes me like melt! So naturally after he found out that he was gonna be a grandpa, he was like rlly happy like hugging Eddie and telling him how proud he was that he turned around his life and how much he loves him with Chrissy blah blah blah so when they finally had their bundle of joy he helped them out as much as he could bc face it….I can imagine Eddie and Chrissy to be those scared first timer parents! So from birth, their little girl was also watched over by Wayne. They’d literally grow to be besties and to the point that when she could start to speak SHE WOULD BE BEGGIN to go to grandpas and honestly they’d be grateful bc they also love their child free nights

-so when their Girl is finally old enough to drive Chrissy wouldnt even bother telling Eddie that she’s gonna start driving bc that man would def want to be the one to teach her and Chrissys explanation to why he won’t be present EVER is obviously the story of her labour 😭 which brings us to….

-Chrissy giving birth yeah? CRAZY absolutely not planned at all so that kinda left them in a state of panic cuz they thought they would have at least 2 more weeks to prepare BUT NO!! So here’s Eddie literally driving in his shitty ass van with a very pregnant chrissy who just wants to push that tiny human out, but Eddie’s behind the wheel freaking out and driving sooooooo slow which leads to Chrissy yelling “Eddie Munson, I swear to whatever God there is up there that I will chop off that dick of yours If you don’t drive any faster!!” And then he just literally bolts it bc he knows how crazy she is especially when she’s pumping out those hormones </3 but they make it all in one piece and the birth goes smoothly and Chrissy starts crying bc she’s so sorry for yelling at him and Eddie thinks it’s adorable

-YESSSS their daughter is super social, thank you Eddie for raising your babe to be just as animated as u are 🙏🏻 so obvs the little gal has tons of friends at school because one, she’s super polite, and two, she’s extremely friendly!! When Eddie and Chrissy hear her constantly begging to bring home a new friend theyre kinda shocked bc they feel as if their home has become a daycare??? Not in a bad way of course, but that fact rlly helps one of their daughters friend because that friend doesn’t come from the best home, so they take them under their wing and treat them as one of their own!! I also imagine Ed and Chris to not like want anymore children bc let’s be real…..accident baby 😔 so it’s nice for their daughter to have someone else her age around her all the time

-MUSIC YESSSSSSS like Eddie would raise her on all his fav stuff but he’s a little heartbroken when she’s into all the generic pop (spice girls 😹😹) but When she’s older she grows to appreciate everything daddy has introduced her to and all the memories attached 💕

THANK U FOR SENDING THESE I HAD A LOT OF FUN DISCUSSING!!!! Everything you said 100% true and for anyone else, reqs and discussions are open ily my babies 💕🌸🌸🌸

#stranger things #chrissy x eddie #eddie x chrissy #eddie munson #chrissy cunnigham #stranger things 4 #grace van dien #joesph quinn #eddissy