THIS IS HOW V8 WILL END I WILL IT INTO EXISTENCE
God you’re so freaking RIGHT and you should always say it
On one hand, the rest of the kids are lucky that the twins inherited all of their parent’s bastard energy so the rest of them are wholesome.
But on the other hand, the twins are now pure concentrated Nora’s Arc bastard energy. So that’s a problem.
Trash Boy can have a crush, as a treat
Sun: I swear! I saw him in there! Neptune, back me up!
Neptune: Uh, yeah! At least, I’m pretty sure it was him.
Nora: And I’m telling you dolts that last night, you did NOT see him. What you did see, however, was a number of men dancing, kissing, and grinding on each other.
Sun: But I saw Jaune go into that gay bar! Neptune even has the time stamp to prove it!
Neptune: (Pulls out photo) Yup! Right here, ten fifty three last night!
Nora: (Looks at the photo) Hm. So tell me, because Jaune did all the laundry this morning and hung up all of his clothes, (Walks to Jaune’s closet, opens the closet door) do any of these clothes match his in the picture?
Neptune: Well, no, but-
Nora: And furthermore, did you see Jaune leave?
Sun: No, but-!
Nora: AND you forgot one very important question to ask me, his girlfriend.
Sun: What’s that?
Nora: (Points to the picture) If this isn’t Jaune, where was he and what was he doing?
Neptune: Huh. Yeah. So, do you know where he was?
Nora: Right here. He came home after Huntsman work at four thirty in the afternoon. He stayed until morning, then left to run errands.
Sun: Okay, but what he doing?
Nora: Hm… Well, first he took a shower, made dinner, cleaned up dinner, read a book, and- Oh yeah! He did do one other thing last night!
Sun: (He and Neptune get close) Yeah?! What was it?!
Nora: (Grabs their heads and hits them together) ME! So congratulations, boys! Not only did you solve nothing, you also outed yourselves by going to a gay bar!
Ruby: You look tired.
Jaune: Yeah, that’s because I am. Something keeps clattering around in my kitchen. I just need one night of good sleep.
Ruby: Hmm. How about… you set up a trap?
Jaune: A trap?
Ruby: Yeah! Set up a jar filled with a little bit of honey, then when the clattering stops, go find the culprit.
Jaune: Well, I’ve got nothing else to lose. Alright, I’ll do it! Anything to get some sleep!
LATER THAT NIGHT
Jaune: (Hears clattering) Okay, here we go. (30 minutes pass, then the clattering suddenly stops) Aha! (Jumps out of bed) I’ve got you, now! (Rushes into the kitchen to the jar) When I get my hands on you, I’m gonna-!
???: You’re gonna what?
Jaune: (Stops in his tracks, sees the jar is gone) Huh? Where’d it go? And who-?
???: Up here, you goof!
Jaune: (Looks up and sees a small pink light above him, holding the jar of honey) W-Who are you?
???: I am Queen Nora of the Kingdom of Sweets! No man can ever hope to best me or capture me!
Jaune: Are you… a pixie?
Nora: I see the human has good eyes. Yes, I am, in fact, a beautiful and spunky pixie, and NOT some flighty, air-headed, bimbo fairy! I HATE it when people call me a fairy!
Jaune: Why are you here, your majesty?
Nora: Your majesty? (Giggles) How droll! The human thinks me a royal!
Jaune: But, you said you were a queen.
Nora: Yeah, of this sweet jar right here! (Sets down the jar and sits on the rim) I came here because there’s always something sweet here, and my motto is, “If it’s sweet, it’s mine!”
Jaune: So you came here for sweet things? But I don’t have anything sweet. I gathered honey just for tonight, and you’ve been pestering my home for weeks!
Nora: You got this honey for me? You’re way sweeter than I thought!
Jaune: I- Wha?
Nora: (Leaps up and flies up to Jaune’s eyes) I’ve decided! From now on, you shall be my King of Sweets!
Jaune: But I-!
Nora: (Shines brighter) And with this kiss, I forever seal, the two souls of an eternal deal. (Lowers herself to Jaune’s lips and kisses him) Mmm, so sweet.
Jaune: What just happened?!
Nora: Duh! I bound our souls together. Now you’re my husband!
THE NEXT MORNING
Ruby: Good morning, Jau-! JAUNE! What happened?! Did the plan not work?
Jaune: No, it worked.
Ruby: Did the clattering stop?
Jaune: Yeah. It did.
Ruby: So, did you get any sleep?
Nora: (Poking her head out of his pocket with a sultry) He sure didn’t~! (Wink)
Ruby: Is… Is Penny okay?
Pietro: She took a bad hit from that giant Grimm, but she should be fine. However, it seems her memory might have also been damaged.
Ruby: Can she have visitors?
Pietro: She can, but I’m limiting it to only two people. I don’t want her to be overwhelmed. Two of your friends are in there now.
-IN PENNY’S ROOM-
Jaune: (Whispering) Nora! I think she’s waking up)
Penny: (Comes to)
Jaune: Hi, uh, young lady. Do you know where you are?
Penny: No, I… I don’t know. It looks familiar, but I can’t remember.
Jaune: Can you… Can you remember your name?
Penny: My name (Thinks silently) is Penny!
Nora: (Smiling) Good! It’s a very pretty name! Do you have any questions for us?
Penny: Are you my mommy and daddy?
Nora: Okay, let’s get the facts straight here, little missy-!
Weiss: WAIT! We can use this.
Ruby: What are you-?
Weiss: Shshshshshsh! Just follow my lead!
Nora: Of course we’re your mommy and daddy!
Penny: Yay! (Giggles)
Neptune: Since when do we have a daughter?!
Sun: I don’t know! Why would Nora- Daughter of Jacque Schnee! She doesn’t want us to get married right now either! She just doesn’t want to be the one to say it!
Neptune: Alright then! All we have to do now is be honest and-
Sun: (Punches Neptune) Don’t you get it!? This is a power move! If we fess up, she’ll never let it go for the rest of our lives!
Neptune: (Spits ou a tooth) So, what do we do?
Sun: Simple. We play her game… AND WE WIN.
Jaune: Welcome home, sweetie!
Penny: Yay! I love mommy and daddy!
Nora: (Hugs Penny) And we love you, Penny Pole-! I-I mean Penny Valkyrie-Arc!
-LATER AT BREAKFAST-
Penny: Daddy, when you’re done with the newspaper comics, can I read it? I’m curious about the slow decaying infrastructure of the Schnee Dust Corporation and it’s impact on small businesses and social class among faunuskind.
Jaune: Uh, sure, I guess. I guess I forgot your interest in business economics.
Nora: And the fact that she ate a dictionary.
Penny: A dictionary?
Jaune: (Wraps his arm around Penny) It’s a compliment, sweetie. Mommy’s saying you’re really smart. Isn’t that right, Nora?
Penny: (Giggling and hugs Jaune) Thank you, daddy!
Weiss: Damn it! I can’t believe he called our bluff!
Ruby: (Mocking tone) Oh, I think we’re moving too fast! I know! Let’s get a friggin’ kid! Everything always slows down when that happens!
Weiss: Shut up, Ruby! We can still win this! I mean, it’s not like he actually cares about our little red-headed baby girl!
Ruby: Little red-headed baby girl?
Nora’s Boys: Hugs
*Jaune is currently hugging Ren*
Ren: Let go Jaune, you can’t hug me forever.
Jaune, hugging Ren tighter: Challenge accepted
Ren: Jaune that wasn’t-
Nora, now hugging Ren: I believe he accepted your challenge Ren. And I’M GOING TO JOIN HIM!
Ren: *sighs, then smiles at his partners*
nora sometimes just. scoops jaune up and kisses him. jaune is super flustered.
jaune: hey babe :)
nora, crying: Sup
nora gets up from the couch to grab a drink and jaune leans forward to get the remote. nora thinks hes going for a kiss. she bends over to kiss him and then theyre both just sitting there like 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
jaune, crying into weiss’ lap: WEISS. WHAT DO I DO I HAVE A CRUSH ON NORA.
weiss who is more than a little tired of her friends: kiss her
jaune: wow what a great idea!! im not gonna do that.
nora: ren i want to kiss jaune what do i do
ren, chilling with neptune and sun: idk kiss him?
nora: youre right i should kiss him
they take naps together and nora jetpacks jaune
theyre an openly affectionate couple but not to the point of being annoying to their friends
Ren, after seeing his bf and gf: :D
Nora’s Boys: Awesome
Jaune, currently hugging Ren: Hey Ren?
Ren, hugging Jaune back: Yes Jaune?
Jaune: Where’s Nora?
Nora, currently trapped between Jaune and Ren: This… Is… AWESOME!
Knight BF sitting between his Ninja BF and Lightning GF
a wholesome trio (◡‿◡✿)
SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL DO THIS THING
The ship is my: Cuties
I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other |
I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together |
Children: No | Yes | They’d think about it
General Opinion: Any ship with Nora is a cute ship, that’s pretty much law and this one is no exception. I feel that both Nora and Jaune are in the corner of ‘loud and brash but unexpectedly thoughtful’ and both of them would do anything for their friends. Together, they’d be a team-parents power couple and would support their friends with a blinding intensity.
Also everyone in the school would know they were dating because they’re both the type to do massive PDAs for each other which would escalate in an ever-growing battle of one-upping that would eventually require official intervention from all the collateral damage.
I just want good things for Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie
And by good things, I mean I want Ren to have a Mulan-style hair cut scene where he chops off his braid with his fathers dagger symbolizing that he’s let go of his fears of inadequacy and Failure. And I also just want a Bee’s parallels where either Ren or Nora come and save their significant other ala the Bees vs Adam fight.
ruby AND yang: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
weiss: please change
blake: where did you get thosr tights
nora: you look funny
pyrrha: guys be nice… okay its little funny.
ren: hmmm amusinh
Qrow: *passes RWBYJNOR*
His brain: Adopt them.
Brain: Adopt all of the kids.
Qrow: But why? I don’t even like-
Brain: You gotta.