#normally we're not supposed to feel bad for the abusers

[furiousgoldfish]

Being raised in an abused family will often leave you with the abusive system of social hierarchy in your subconscious mind, and you might not even realize you're following its rules in the life after abuse.

The system is created to rationalize and enable abuse, to the point that it's difficult for anything but abuse to go on within the system. It puts all of the people in your life in 2 possible roles: First role are the people with authority over you, who can use you, hurt you, and you have to tolerate it, you have to see it as them 'just taking their frustrations out on you' and 'not knowing any better', and not take it personally. You can't act against them because they always have some hold over you, or just scare you too much to retaliate. The second role are people who have less power than you, or depend on you in some way, and they're the ones who are acceptable for you to demand things from, take your frustrations out on, expect things from them, criticize them or complain how they're not doing enough for you. For some people, who have are used to being at the very bottom of the hierarchy, don't have anyone with less power than them, and will therefore expect always to be the one others are hurting, with nobody to take it out on but themselves.

The reason we learn this is because it happens in the abusive homes, and often other parts of society, to the point where we think it's normal. Parent getting yelled at by the boss, then yelling at home at their spouse, then spouse yelling at the children, and children yelling at each other. In each of these stages, one person is getting their need to feel 'superior to someone' met by dehumanizing and using someone they can do it to, without suffering any consequences. And we accepted this is just how life is, how is one supposed to live without having someone to vent their frustration on? And the solution they propose is 'don't take it personally, this person still loves you they're just having a bad day'. But it's not just one bad day. And there is no love, only dehumanizing you in order to feel superior.

In abusive systems like this, attention, love, caretaking or fulfilling someone's needs is scarce, and will only ever come from those lower on the abusive hierarchy. This means that the less abusive spouse, and the children, will end up giving love and care to the worst abuser, they'll have to fulfill this person's needs and wants, when it should be reverse. Families exists so children could be taken care of. The competition for attention and care can be so fierce that anyone getting attention can make other members of the family angry or jealous, because there's so little of it to go around, and the people giving attention will be taken for granted and used as resources. Dehumanized, only there to fulfill a need.

This is not how normal, healthy communities work. In a normal, healthy setting, everyone is getting their needs met, and we don't fight to feel 'superior to others', we understand that we're all equal, nobody better or more important than another, and each of us special to someone. There's value in humans that isn't shown when all you can do is try to avoid being the target of someone's anger, or trying to prove that you're a good enough resource and you don't deserve to be punished for not doing enough. No human should ever be somebody's target for letting out frustrations. Nobody deserves that.

How to tell if you're still unconsciously living by this system? See if you check any of these points:

people who willingly give you care, attention, love, and fulfill your needs, are people who you give no attention, they're boring and you know you can take them for granted

people you seek attention from are people who are in higher authority than you, popular or special in some way, and who repeatedly ignore/neglect you or are emotionally unavailable and unwilling to care for you

you don't feel guilty or ashamed for yelling or berating someone in your life who annoys you or is in your way, even if they didn't do it on purpose. you feel it's completely their fault for not thinking of you first.

you feel immensely stressed if you accidentally annoy or slight someone who you want attention from, you obsess over how will they see you now and how you must have ruined your chances to be loved or admired by them

you long for more success and better social standing, not only for the money but to feel like you're on top and allowed to tell other people off and never have any consequences for it

you look down on people who are doing worse than you, you feel inclined to tell them it's their fault because if they had tried harder, like you did, they would have made it

you don't feel guilty or ashamed of manipulating people to get what you want, especially if they present no threat to you and there's no consequences for it. You feel inside that they deserve it

you refuse to admit or acknowledge if you're being manipulated or used, because it would feel too humiliating and unbearable to withstand it, you instead pretend it didn't happen

you don't think it's a big deal to cut off anyone who isn't of any use of you, and you don't consider their feelings on the matter

being cut off by someone whose attention you want puts you in a lot of pain and humiliation and you feel like you need to keep it secret or pretend it didn't happen, it damages your sense of self to be aware of it, and you feel it's your fault it happened

you're ready to defend and make excuses for people who are above you in social standing, if they hurt you or anyone else, you feel connected to them and want to reach their status, and for this status to be protected from criticism

you feel that people who are 'below' you in society are at fault both for being hurt, and for hurting anyone else, their motives must always be malicious and you don't think any measure of sanction is too much for them

you find it very normal to vent your frustrations at people who, in your mind, should tolerate this and understand it's just a way of life

If you were at the bottom of the hierarchy in your upbringing, it's likely you don't align with most of these, because you had nobody "under" you to take for granted, or use in any way, and instead you became the resource and the world became the unreachable, scary, and filled with pain for you. If, instead, you were in the middle of it, and were constantly relying on someone to take your frustrations, fulfill your needs, while you're also doing that for somebody else, you could potentially get caught in the loophole and continue living this way, as if its the normal way of life, without realizing it.

This is not a normal way to live. In the system, there is no love, no true connection, no humanity and no respect for any human being. There's only chase for power while stepping all over people who care for you. It's not humane, not sustainable, and the system inevitably crashes once those who provide care and love, withdraw because they realize they've been abused, exploited and got only hatred in return. System relies on abuse and fake feeling of superiority in order to run, and the result is only the abuse of human beings. Nobody is still superior to anyone, but everyone in the system gets a share of being abused, exploited, manipulated and dehumanized.

#system of abuse #hierarchy of abuse #abusive hierarchy #psychological abuse #emotional abuse #manipulation #loop of abuse #reaching for non existent #while stepping on everything you're actually given #abusive family #child abuse #aftermath of abuse #abuse

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Logically I always feel like we're supposed to hate Rudy more but goddamn, Mary has always made my skin crawl. I mean there were a LOT of reasons why I could never get into the YJ cartoon but I specifically remember seeing the way it portrays Wally's parents and something about it just felt icky and wrong

Rudy on some level is just so cartoony of a villain.

Like, the fanon version of Rudy is this bumbling angry alcoholic who hits his son because he needs someone smaller than him to take out his aggression on and that version of Rudy is very real. I think that's why fanon tends to view him that way. Because it's a more realistic characterization and it's easier for them to understand and portray.

But the truth of the matter is that Rudy is cold, calm and calculating. He's smart. And he doesn't care. Not about Wally and definitely not about Mary. Rudy doesn't see them as a family, he sees them as a long con. A get rich scheme in the making. Wally is supposed to be powerful so Rudy tries to 'shape' him. The abuse isn't out of anger, it's Rudy's misguided attempts to make him stronger.

Rudy also tries to bond with Wally. He knows he needs a good relationship with Wally to keep Wally in line when he gets older. That's why you see things like Rudy poisoning the little league coach to let Wally play and letting the air out of the other team's tires so Wally's team wins.

He was really fucking bad at it but he was attempting to make Wally an ultimate weapon that only listened to him. What he did instead was push his son away and teach him what not to do.

But that kind of calculated, off-the-wall mentality is so foreign. It's bad and we can recognize it but it's like something out of Criminal Minds. It's hard to see any part of that in our daily lives.

But Mary? Mary is something else. Mary is little comments about Wally's outfits. Mary is guilt tripping her son into spending time with her. Mary is being confidently incorrect about her son's wants and needs. Mary is discouraging comments when you just need a hug. Mary is so real it hurts.

So yeah, I can absolutely agree with you. Rudy is on another fucking level and he objectively does worse things (like murder and child labor camps and cult stuff). But Mary is so real in her abuse. She genuinely horrifies me.

Also, yeah I can agree about the YJ thing. Rudy and Mary being terrible has been a central part of Wally's story since the beginning. (and before people say "but Walls, the Wests were so kind in their first appearance!" they were literally only in a few panels and Rudy didn't even have a name yet. Also it was a Titans comic and not the Flash comic, ofc the characterization would be off) It's definitely a disservice to the character to write the West's as good/normal parents in any capacity. Especially because the excuse was that all the other members of the team had bad home lives/childhoods so they wanted Wally to be 'normal'. Bruh. Hate to break it to you but the kids in suburbia with the white picket fences can also suffer abuse behind closed doors. It's unfortunately a very common and 'normal' thing.

#yeah im not a fan of how YJ handled that at all #especially given how fucking insane Rudy is in the comics #thats like writing Lex Luthor as just an average business guy who has normal emotions about Superman #its like ??? what??? #dc #dc comics #the flash #kid flash #wally west #rudy west #mary west

[honeysuckleharringtons]

Part Five: "Seasonal Specials" ~ S. Harrington

Summary: (Then) Christmas Eve has rolled around, and unfortunately for a very pregnant Reader, she is stuck at home with a migraine. Luckily for her, her younger brother doesn't make for too bad of company. — (Now) A slow shift at Brew and Me turns out to be a good night for advice and a call from everyone's favorite nursing student.

Pairing: Nurse!Steve Harrington x Fem!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 1,900

Content Warning: teen pregnancy, discussions of homophobia, discussions of abuse and allusions to physical abuse, discussions of slut-shaming, Reader is lowkey bad at advice when it comes to these topics LMAO, explicit language, food consumption (Reader drinks hot chocolate), not really a warning but Will is gay and autistic in this series, as always lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: this should've been posted way earlier, i am so sorry it wasn't. hope you guys enjoy though!

Originally Written: 12/21/2023 through 12/25/2023

honeysuckleharringtons' main masterlist can be found here!

'brew and me' series masterlist can be found here!

[ Then, December of 1987 ]

Christmas Eve. It was Christmas Eve and you were stuck at home with an excruciating headache.

You supposed it wasn't all bad. After all, staying at home was preferable over the rare occasion that you did leave the house, when everyone would stare you down like some caged animal at the zoo. Unfortunately, the same could be said for your family—no, not your immediate family, who'd helped you more than ever since you'd entered your third and final trimester—whose reactions had ranged from disgusted to sympathetic.

When you'd gone to the family's end-of-summer family reunion, you'd tried your best to hide the tiny bump you were sporting at the time. However, your aunt Judy had taken notice of your particularly round belly, and immediately figured out that it wasn't from one too many hot dogs at the cookout. Ever since then, you'd heard every comment in the book, everything from "whore throwing her life away" to "so sad she thought that was her only option."

So, instead of listening to the endless insults from your distant relatives, you'd prayed for some way out of the gathering. Unfortunately for you, God had a sense of humor, hence the excruciating headache.

The sound of the microwave beeping in the next room over set you off all over again, the noise like a hammer to the head. "Will, can't you tell that thing to shut up?" you groaned, covering your face with the compress he'd made you.

"Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to help," he joked. You couldn't tell if you wanted to laugh or kill him for his sense of humor. "Here's your hot chocolate."

You sat up ever-so-slightly, taking a small drink of the deep brown liquid. Almost instantly, the warmth of it made you feel a little better. "Thank you." You reached a hand over, ruffling his already messy hair. "By the way, you didn't have to stay home with me."

"And listen to Uncle Howie tell me how we're both going to hell? I'd rather have that headache of yours."

A snicker escaped your lips, knowing exactly what he meant. "Okay, maybe Uncle Howie is a bit too opinionated on the sex lives of sixteen and eighteen year olds, but you don't have to listen to him. I mean, you're missing out on Grandma's fruitcake, which is your favorite part of the holidays."

"After last year, listening to half our cousins tell me I'm fruitier than the cake, I don't think I'll ever eat it again." Will pulled his knees up to his chest, his face overtaken by an expression that looked a lot like longing. "Besides, it's not really worth it to me."

You set your mug aside before placing a hand on his knee. "What do you mean?"

"The way the family talks about you… I thought I was the black sheep of the family. You might as well be a purple sheep."

Your pregnancy hormones must've taken over, because instead of a normal reaction, you found yourself beginning to cry from his words. No, not because of pain from his statement, but rather comfort in knowing that he'd rather miss out on the finer things of life if it meant sticking up for you.

Will, and his lack of social cue skills, stared at you for a moment, unsure what to say. Eventually, he landed on, "Sorry if I made you more upset. I didn't-"

A small huff of amusement left your mouth as you shook your head. "No, Will," you smiled, reaching up to wipe away your excess tears, "I'm just… I'm really happy to have you."

He flashed you a closed-lip smile, one that felt so genuine and unapologetically Will. "I know you'd do the same for me."

[ Now, December of 1991 ]

"I would, kiddo. I really would."

Aster Bay was a different kind of beautiful at the holidays. Sure, the small college town was normally beautiful, but upon seeing the small-town glow overtake the place, you were sure you hadn't seen anything like it.

Apartments and beach-side condos decked out in Christmas lights, a tree as high as the clouds in the town square, students dressed in Christmas and Hanukkah sweaters, their dogs in matching attire. The town felt like your own personal snow globe, tiny flakes flooding the ground beneath your feet with every step.

The magic of the holidays of course carried over into your favorite little coffee shop, decorations of red and green covering the walls and counters while the smell of peppermint wafted through the air. Unfortunately for you and Max, the one thing your little coffee shop was lacking this Christmas Eve was customers.

Neither of you were really sure why the store was open. Nearly everyone had gone home for the holidays—students, patrons, and other baristas alike—and the store was dead quiet, aside from the soft sound of Sinead O'Conner playing on the overhead speaker. Silent Night is accurate, you thought to yourself.

"So, where's your lover boy at this Christmas Eve?" Max joked, breaking the long-winded silence.

You sighed, secretly longing for the nurse she spoke of. "Apparently they gave him a week off from the hospital so he went home to see his folks." A small wave of loneliness had come over you when Steve had told you about his departure a few days prior, when he stopped by to grab a latte for the road.

"That's nice. At least he's hopefully having a good time, not working on the holidays like some of us," she said lightheartedly. Though, you could've sworn you heard a hint of sadness in her tone.

"Hey, how come you aren't at home with your folks?" The question had been a simple one, but when Max looked up at you, you could tell her answer was about to be anything but simple.

Her arms folded tightly in front of her chest as she looked at you, a sigh falling between her plump lips. "It's… complicated."

You placed a loving hand on her shoulder. "I know we're only coworkers and we aren't really supposed to bring our personal lives to work with us, but you know you can talk to me, right? I'm your friend, plus I'm a mother so I have problem solving skills now."

She huffed in amusement at your last remark. "It's just… I can't really say a lot but my life in California, it's not as good as my life here. And as much as I love my mom, there's just… well, it's just better for me to stay here even as much as I miss her. Besides, it's not like I make enough to fly home and Neil certainly isn't going to pay for my flight."

You could tell from the clear distaste in the way she said Neil that she didn't like to say his name anymore than she had to. Unfortunately, you knew all too well what that was like, and there was a certain name that left a bad taste in your own mouth the same way Neil did for Max.

"I can't give you much advice because my dad was the one that left, but I promise, it does get better," you empathized. "You made the right decision by staying here. I'm proud of you, Max."

She began to fiddle with the sleeve of her flannel, her eyes darting away. "I hate being here though. I can't help my mom from here. There's no telling what he does to her when me and Billy are away."

You knew exactly what she meant by that too. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but that'll change too. Eventually he'll get tired of you and your mom fighting back and he'll leave. That's what my dad did anyway."

"The thing is," she paused, licking her lips, "I'm not sure my mom wants to fight back. It's like she wants to deal with Neil's bullshit. I mean, she divorced my dad over not making enough money and then she married Neil, who is still scraping at the bottom of the barrel to keep the lights on every month. Not to mention, she dated like ten guys in between and broke up with them for way less, but she'll always find a way to justify his actions."

You shrugged your shoulders. "My mom put up with it for seventeen years before she started to truly fight back." A small wave of silence came over the room before you continued, "I'm sorry I don't have much advice. I guess my situation was just a little different than most survivors'. One thing I can tell you though is that I'm proud of you for making the best decision for yourself. I know it's hard to put yourself first sometimes."

Max gave you a crooked smile, finally looking up at you again. "As much as it sucks that we've both been through a bad thing, I'm glad I have you to talk to about it."

"Of course, love. You're like a little sister to me."

Cutting your conversation short, the phone began to ring, the sound grating on your nerves. You loved your job, but it was Christmas Eve, damn it. In all honesty, you really just wanted to be at home, drinking hot chocolate with your girl in your lap and a movie playing on television.

Still, you picked up the phone, answering with the signature, "Happy holidays from Brew and Me. What can we do for you?"

"Can you tell me your seasonal specials?" said a familiar voice, his smirk audible in his tone.

"Steve! You're supposed to be on vacation," you scolded, though internally you were extremely happy to hear his voice. What is wrong with me? you pondered silently.

"I am, but I couldn't resist calling and ordering something."

Your brows furrowed at his statement. "How does that work?"

"Order anything you'd like and I'll pay you back when I get back to town. Think of it as a Christmas present, or whatever you celebrate."

"That feels like cheating, Harrington." Your eyes narrowed, despite his inability to see it.

"You don't have to tell me what it is, just how much I'll owe you," he replied. You could hear a fireplace crackling quietly in the background, and you could easily imagine him curled up in front of it, his skin covered with a thick Christmas sweater, glasses perched on his nose as he read a novel. "Same for Max or whoever else is working. Treat yourselves, courtesy of me."

"Well, thank you, Steve. We appreciate it," your lips curved upward into a smile as you spoke. "I hope you're enjoying your time off."

"I am. I'm sorry you have to work on Christmas Eve." You could almost hear the frown on his lips as he sympathized with you.

"It's not all bad. After all, I'm getting to hear from you."

"Careful, Byers, or I'll start to think you like me back," he smirked. Butterflies went off in your belly, your cheeks warm and surely rosy.

You were sure full sentences had escaped you, considering Steve had the ability to take your breath away and make you blush like no one else could. So, you stuck with what you knew you could say without stumbling over your words. "Happy holidays, Doc."

"It's a very happy holiday when I get to talk to you, Y/N."

So tumblr hates me...

I went over 24 hours thinking this chapter posted, only to find out tumblr ate it somewhere between my drafts, my queue, and my posts 🤦🏻‍♀️ this app loves to embarrass me

Anyway, I hope this was worth the extra long wait. It sucks that I'm posting it after the initial Christmas magic is over but I hope you guys liked it regardless! I will see you back here on Sunday for chapter six, which will be posted on time, fingers crossed!

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @corrodedseraphine @manuosorioh @esoltis280 @hazydespair @frostandflamesfanfic

#imagine #imagines #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #series #multi part fic #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington series #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things x y/n #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fluff #stranger things series #honeysuckleharringtons #brew and me ☕️

[t4transsexual]

have you ever dated cis women? when did you decide to be t4t?

i have dated a couple of cis women, one for a little while and we didnt get on because she was one of those fems who doesnt want their butch/masc/transmasc partner to have feelings and needs and also didnt want me to say no to sex and we didnt last long because i was deeply unhappy with her

as for when i decided to be t4t, i guess its probably about time i open up about the specific instance(s) that lead to me deciding to be exclusively t4t, because i havent actually talked about what pushed me to make the shift into exclusively dating trans people. i was trying to run a more positive page and frankly i wasnt really ready to talk about this so publicly, especially with the terf/transphobe interaction i get almost all the time on this account, but i figure i can now and ill probably turn off replies if i can figure out how

tw for graphic description of sexual assault and transphobia under the cut

when i started medically transitioning, i decided to try dating guys again. keep in mind i had a lot of comphet before deciding i was t4t; i basically only really beat that around 2022 when i turned 20. and i matched with a cis guy on tinder, who looked like he had a lot of personality judging by his photos i was 18, almost 19 at the time

literally the first thing this man says to me, after i tell him im trans, is "oh, cool, i love femboys." red flag #1. i said, "im not a femboy, i present masculinely, dont call me that." he apologized, and we moved on

at some point, we're talking about sex. he says hes very subby and a size queen. all fine, i told him i was a stone top/dom, i didnt really like experiencing penetration and it was painful for me due to a condition i had at the time. he says thats fine, everythings good. this will be important later

later, he tells me he told his parents i was trans. i asked him why, given that he both didnt ask me first and said his parents were transphobic. he says "my mom asked, was i just supposed to lie?" i say, yes. he apologizes, i /really/ want to call the whole thing off at this point but he seemed nice enough that maybe he just didnt know trans dating as well as i did

the entire relationship, he just says transphobic shit. he told me that he "understood why people didnt want to date trans people, because its a lot of baggage." he was an active alcoholic by the way. and also dating a trans person. he would neg me for being trans and then turn around and say that i was such a hot guy. he even misgendered me one time, and got upset at me for getting pissed about it, and made me believe i was overreacting. he made me believe that he was doing me a favor by ever dating me

at some point, we're at my parents house, and he tells me he wants to fuck me with his penis. i tell him no, that i dont want to, that i dont know about it, that im scared, pretty much anything i can say to get him to reconsider, but he argued and said itd be good for me and that i can choose which hole but it became very clear to me that i had no choice. so i said he could fuck my pussy

it was excruciating. it hurt so bad, but i knew i couldnt say no. he couldnt stay hard unless he was degrading me and i didnt want him to, so he kept making me jerk him off so he could keep raping me

eventually he stopped, and i wasnt even really aware i had been raped at first. ive been sexually abused by several people in my life and generally it has taken me a while to accept when ive been sexually abused by a person. so we kept dating like normal, long distance btw, but my mental health was deteriorating. i was suicidal for the first time in a while. i was self harming again. i couldnt stop thinking about killing myself.

eventually, he breaks up with me for being suicidal. he says im guilt tripping him or something, i dont remember. and that was december of 2021

we go no contact. i still dont realize he raped me. but i knew that there was something deeply wrong in the way our relationship was

right after him, i dated a trans woman who we went to the same high school. just the difference in how i was treated by her than by him, with her she treated me like i was an actual equal in the relationship. with him, he felt he was superior to me; like he "owned" me, or something

we broke up, we werent really compatible, but when i got with her, she taught me what being t4t was, and the implicit understanding and the comfort and safety i felt. after we broke up was when i decided i didnt like men, and still remained t4t after

i realized what he did to me was rape nearly a year later. he correctively raped me for being a stone top, more specifically, and i dont think he wouldve been "empowered" to rape me if i was a cis man, or even a cis woman. i understand that the "off" feeling i felt throughout that relationship was because he, as a cis person, felt superior over me as a trans person, and felt that if he wanted to fuck me, i shouldnt get a say. he talked about doing other actions to me that i didnt want done at the time, certainly not by him, and if we werent long distance, he probably wouldve raped me several more times

being with my current girlfriend, we click in a way that i havent felt with any cis person, the women included. she definitely isnt going to rape me for being trans. ive undergone physical therapy so that if i ever got raped again, it wouldnt hurt as bad, and it worked and ive actually enjoyed bottoming (consensually) with my girlfriend. she makes me feel very safe, and we understand each other and each others needs as trans people very well, and being with her has helped me process the time i was raped, and the several other times ive been sexually abused by other people

now that ive had time to process these things, i would say that i dont feel the same way around trans people (including me) dating cis people anymore. when i first started this account, i wouldve never admitted this then btw, i fully did not think trans people should date cis people, because i had fostered such a deep distrust of cis people as a result of that whole relationship and assault. i believed cis people would always be bad partners to trans people, but i dont believe that anymore. in the very unlikely circumstance i find myself single again, i may even consider dating a cis woman again. but probably not, because ive grown to really like the implicit understanding that we as trans people get with other trans people

thats why im t4t, and when i became t4t was around the beginning of 2022

#shoutout to my girlfriend for putting up with whats left of me #even though she says its not something she 'puts up with' because she loves me #trans #t4t #transhet #transmasc #t4t mlw #st4t #trans man #transgender #also had someone who said i was 'missing the point' of being t4t one time #like earlier this year #took all i had to not be like #'nope. i got it'

[littlethingwithfeathers]

I'm grumpy about Silent Hill again...

TW for discussions of suicide, self harm, abuse (both parent to child and amongst peers) and general spookiness. Y'know... the usual Silent Hill rigmarole of trauma and despair. Also be warned that I'm going to spoil a lot of the Silent Hill series, in particular Silent Hill 2 and the Short Message game that just came out. ***

So... one of my most popular posts out there is this one. It's about Pyramid head and the loss of subtlety in media. And I couldn't help but feel like we hadn't moved an inch from when I posted that back in... *checks date on post* hrrk. my bones... 2017. I'm going to die soon. Anyway. Today I watched Second Wind do a run of the short, free-to-play Silent Hill: Short Message. I admittedly had a good bit of trepidation going in just because of the marketing. Which, for all of you marketing majors out there, that is called "Not a good sign." Marketing should make you want to play a game... especially if you're a fan of the series already. But this... it was a bit of a wet blanket, largely due to the fact that it spoiled a lot of the focus of the game. It basically said "this is a game about how bullying and being chronically online is real bad. We're gonna be spooky about it now." And... straining to push aside how incredibly reductive that is... why give it away? Why say it out loud? Why did you tell us what you are doing? Can you imagine Silent Hill 2 if we'd known it was about James killing his wife from the jump? We didn't. We hadn't the first clue. We knew nothing other than that he was looking for her and she was maybe dead? But we didn't know how... possibly lung cancer or TB given that she had the most pointed coughing sequence since the movie Tombstone. And hey... the last game had someone looking for a loved one too. Maybe that's the deal with Silent Hill. Who knows? No one did at that point. It was still a big old mystery for the most part. And then the E3 trailer... like there's the weird pretty lady in jail? But what's she talking about? Who the fuck is Mary? Is that... his wife? Well then who the hell is Ms. Miniskirt? No wait... is that his wife in the VHS tape? What the hell is going on? Oh look gameplay! And... a little girl? And a weird guy with a gun... This soundtrack slaps. I'm gonna go see if it's up on Napster yet. (this was 2001... again... my bones etc) I remember combing over low-res copies of that video for HOURS when it came out. Why are the nurses different? It's not snowing? Who are all these people... And why do they all sound like they put ketamine in their coffee. It was like a great big puzzle to work out and we had a ball theorizing and researching so when it came out we were HYPE. And that was largely because in short... we knew SOME things at release. Fog. Nurses. Big stick. Weird people. Banger soundtrack. Dead (but probably not) wife. And we presumed or supposed more... cult activity? New beasties? Radio maybe? But we effectively knew nothing about the plot. And the best part was, while they had a solid hook (Find dead lady who we love so huggy buggy much) and instant intrigue (Angela in the cemetery being weirder than a film by David Lynch), and a very familiar setting (we may have improved draw distance on the PS2, but we don't have to use it!), we still didn't really know what was going on. The plot was essentially unfolding out of a black box. Silent Hill 2 was quite content to be a slower burn than trying to boil the Lake Superior with a signal flare. You don't even see the main "villain" Pyramid Head until a few hours in and, as I pointed out in that other post, there's no flashy cut scene to introduce him and go WOOOOOO SCARYYYYY. He's just chillin' behind some prison bars (which that totes is normal in an apartment complex) and staring at you like I stare at the inside of my fridge when I really would like some cheese to materialize.

And then... like we're not even really sure what the hell is going on for the longest time. We meet our wife's hot twin with the key to a strip club and she keeps getting killed over and over... and things keep getting increasingly rapey and lewd in a way that's just uncomfortable more than anything... But even at the end. Even with the big reveal of "You killed your wife." they still don't ever explicitly state "And you killed her because you couldn't have sex with her anymore." It wasn't until you finished the game, and talked to someone else about it, or let your brain cook on it for a bit that you went... heyyyy... he's a horndog! (In fact... if I'm going to chide SH2 for anything it's that right at the very VERY end they tried to frame James's actions as understandable because the woman who was dying and frightened and in pain was mean to him. Yes, being a caretaker is hard. But Christ... pick a topic for discussion.) But contrast all that with Short Message. The marketing and such all said out loud "THIS IS ABOUT BULLYING" so even going in... I was already like "yep. The bully is probably us, but we had reasons because we have to be complicated and you aren't allowed to make the player feel bad" And lo was I correct. There was no... intrigue. I was never curious about the character or the people around her because I knew this story. They already told me what story they were telling so I could practically sing along, especially as a millennial that had to grow up watching little videos and skits in school about the evils of bullying. And when you are going to tell a trope-ish story, and you tell the audience what the trope is, it becomes "say the line" writ large. This isn't me advocating for super twisty unexpected plot arcs (looking at you, Supernatural). Far from it. You absolutely should tell a story in such a way that the audience understands how you got from point A to point Z, even if there are some surprises along the way (See Sixth Sense for that masterclass). Rather, what I'm missing from this (and frankly a lot of the Silent Hill games and honestly... media in general these days) is a sense of restraint. A sense of trust in their audience to "get it." They can't just plonk us in the fog with a radio and a stick and say "You're here to find your best friend/dog/cousin/wife/business partner. Good luck. Here's a weirdo to prattle cryptically at you in order to unsettle you immediately. Bye!" No! They have to tell us what kind of story they're telling and what themes are important. They can't just... give us a Silent Hill Game and trust that we know what to do with it. It's... insulting frankly. Especially as a longtime fan of the franchise who remembers when they did trust us and they did have faith in their work. I will say this in compliment to Short Message. The environment design was pretty cool. Especially the sticky-note hallways... they looked like leaves... and sometimes teeth... and like tightly packed bones in an ossuary. It didn't... say anything really. But it looked cool. And you can't go wrong with Akira Yamaoka's soundtrack. But... while I'm on the subject of design. Y'all. An animate sakura tree in an oversized hoodie is not scary. But bless you for at least having the restraint to not make her Pyramid Head.

#silent hill #silent hill 2 #silent hill 4 #silent hill short message #horror #writing #story telling #suspense #video games #video game design #horror games

[wanderingmind867]

Part 2 of me showing how DC's tend to be more sympathetic or at least more fun (based on me playing Lego DC Supervillians). This time, it's all batman villians:

The Joker: Depends which Joker we're talking about. I mean he's always fun, but he's not always sympathetic. He can be, though. Like those telltale games from a while back (I saw a playthrough of them then bought them years later), they did a sympathetic joker well. But even when he's completely evil, he's just entertaining.

Harley Quinn: Harley Quinn is also sympathetic (usually. I mean, it depends on the interpretation). Usually she's a therapist who was driven to obsession with her patient (the joker), which feels sympathetic. Also, she's usually pretty entertaining (much like the joker himself).

Clayface: There's been like 7 different Clayfaces, but the most famous backstory we see in media is Basil Karlo's. The washed up actor who snaps. And honestly, that's a tragedy itself. Nevermind how he literally turned into what we can only call a monster from a monster movie.

Riddler: Riddler is fun and relatable. I once read his wiki page and still remember the comics origin. He was beaten by his father for being too smart, which bred an Insecurity problem and a deep desire to prove himself.

Scarecrow: I'm easily scared so Scarecrow is easily the villian I'd hate most irl, but he's sympathetic too. Just like a lot of these people, he was abused and bullied as a kid, and it clearly had an ill effect on his mind.

Two-Face: More childhood abuse and bullying. This time enough to cause a split-personality! Also, acid/burn scars so bad you can always see his raw flesh. He's always been the most sympathetic villian to me. I love Two-Face.

Penguin: Some versions of Penguin come from a wealthy household that most everything. The tim burton one was like an abandoned baby raised by actual penguins who eats raw fish. Sometimes he's just a fairly normal gangster. But usually he's pretty sympathetic or at least entertaining.

Catwoman: She seems more stable than a lot of these characters and sometimes I'd even say she's depicted as an anti-hero. But she's usually pretty fun, if not sympathetic.

Poison Ivy: I'm not nearly as pro-environment as her (I suppose I can't be, since I'm not exactly half plant), but she's really just an eco terrorist. She's sympathetic (even if her methods sometimes go too far).

#dc #dc comics #dc universe #dcu #batman villians #batman rogues #batman villains #gotham rogues #gotham villains #joker #harley quinn #clayface #the riddler #edward nygma #scarecrow #jonathan crane #two face #harvey dent #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #catwoman #poison ivy

[lazulian-devil]

Im in Book 12 of SP now and...

With all the things about police brutality and abuses of power (even in my own country) it makes me incredibly uncomfortable whenever Skulduggery points out that "Arbiters make the rules" and "Mortal laws dont apply". Theres been a few scenes were people have asked for lawyers or pointed out that what Skulduggery and Val are doing is illegal, only for them to go "we're above the law".

And I know its supposed to be funny. But it just feels... wrong. Fundamentally, deeply and utterly immoral. Its the same thing with China having absolute power, which makes her more and more a dictator. Or the sorcerers openly disliking mortals, which is incredibly xenophobic.

I get that its realistic. China and the racist sorcerers are supposed to make a point about the world and all that.

But our detectives? Why is my feel good, silly investigation novel filled with sassy brutalits. Because thats what it is now, isnt it. They can go anywhere, to anyone and arrest them and the only thing stopping them from doing so is their (questionable) moral. And only the "Bad Guys" ever complain about it, no normal person would have a problem with that right? Because only bad people, only horrible people, could be against a system in which two incredibly powerful and problematic detectives have absolute jurisdiction globally.

Sorry. I know its a joke. It just... Its not funny. It never was. Makes my skin itch.

#skulduggery pleasant #phase 2 #skulduggery pleasant phase 2 #skulduggery pleasant analysis

[theloganator101]

What BNHA Got Wrong: Love Interests + Character Bonding

So the poll has spoken and this was the most picked of the options. Also don't worry I WILL be covering those in the future so don't be discouraged if the one you picked didn't win, I'm not Minecraft!

But anyways, Love Interests!

A completely optional thing to have in your story to either give the main character a form of happiness or to show what a healthy relationship looks like to not only the MC, but to other people as well.

But there're also the toxic relationships that act as a cautionary tale as to what can happen if you're not careful in choosing who to date, but it's not the victim's fault for not knowing better as the abuser can be clever in hiding their true colors. So in a way, there're many ways to write relationships in your story.

But the way BNHA handles love interests and relationships... leaves a bad taste so horrible in your mouth that it makes eating garbage sound like the better option.

Let's start with the obvious: Izuocha.

It's bland as plain bread, that much is obvious. But it also tends to suffer from lack of screentime and not having Izuku and Uraraka share enough genuine moments to sell me on the potential of them being lovers.

And it also doesn't help when there are scenes of Uraraka calling him plain, expressing her disbelief when Izuku was about to fight quirkless, and even not retorting her female classmates when they talked about Izuku being a bad boyfriend because of his obsession with All Might.

To me at least, in order to sell me on the idea of two characters being a couple, I need genuine scenes of them together, see how they interact with one another and to see if they have that spark. Hopefully some of you know what I'm talking about when I say spark, as in they have that thing where them being a couple makes perfect sense.

But when it comes to Izuocha, I don't feel that spark. Best friends maybe, but not lovers.

I can name a few others that have better chemistry with Izuku that would've been cute and good to see

Shoto (The Sports Festival and how they interact feels more natural)

Aoyama (Their friendship is cute and honestly Aoyama should've been the one to discover the OFA secret and suggest ways on improving, and Izuku would do the same for him.)

Hagakure (If they interacted more, their relationship would've been interesting to see and see how they help each other with their insecurities)

Rody (The movie... It's obvious)

Okay okay, let's move away from shipping and romantic relationships and get to friendships and familiar love.

Or... lack there of.

Everybody in 1-A acts like great friends and a found family but we hardly get any scenes of them hanging out outside of the outros. If we have to rely on outros/intros to get a feel of the characters bonding, then there really isn't much of a friendship to show off.

And if the fight between them and Izuku during the Dark Izuku is anything to go by, that just throws this found family shit out the window and it literally makes my blood boil as someone who wrote a found family story.

Shameless plug in, but go here if you wanna read a GOOD found family dynamic https://archiveofourown.org/works/46850617/chapters/118009972

If we're supposed to believe that everything they went through has brought them closer, how come we never see any of them bonding and doing normal teenagers stuff?

Oh yeah, it's because Hori doesn't bother with any of that and just wants to get to the exciting fight scenes. Just throw in some misplaced flashbacks and have characters say shit to trick people into believing they DO have this nonexistent bond!

But overall, it's just really hard to get into the dynamics of these characters if we never see the characters bond or share genuine moments, without moments like this... the big moments are just going to feel hollow and the relationships artificial.

#bnha critical #mha critical

[hello-nichya-here]

Pffft in what fucking way radical feminism is about apologizing abuse?? xD

Hun if you have no what you're talking about just don't talk about it, don't embarrass yourself

Glad you asked!

First we have this very thing that you're doing right now, which is shutting down anyone who mentions that radfems can be abusers. Major red flag whenever someone's first reaction to hearing "Someone in your group has been abusive" is to immediately get all defensive and say "NO ONE HERE WOULD EVER!"

Secondly, we have the very thing that made me point out that radfems are abusive as hell. I pointed out that a stupid radfem was insisting that I was being abused because I like kinky stuff, and then had the nerve to go "You deserve to be beaten until you get brain damage." Saying that some people just "deserve" to be mistreated is abuse apologism 101.

And since we're talking about people who "deserve" abuse according to radfems, let's look at the list of women you guys have thrown under the bus:

1 - Women who have been abused by other women. After all, "rape is a male crime" according to you guys.

2 - Women of color. You guys always get hella defensive whenever a non-white woman points out that radfems are often racist as fuck, and pull stuff like basing their list of "how to spot a tranny" on racist shit like literal nazi propaganda posters to help people "spot jews." And let's not forget the large overlap between plenty of radfem groups and white supremacy groups. Oh, sorry, forgot we're not supposed to mention all that so we won't "devide the comunity."

3 - Bisexuals who experienced abuse by a male partner, since we "choose" to associate with men despite having the oppornuity to date just women, like lesbians do (What? That sounds just like incels who are mad women only go to "jerks" instead of "nice guys" like themselves? Impossible! That would mean radfems feel entitled to sex and believe women DON'T get to say no!)

4 - Lesbians that are not "gold star lesbians", aka who have had sex with men at some point. After all, they're inferior since they didn't have stuff figured out right away, or had no choice but to stay in the closet for years and years due to where they live, or, ya know, were raped. Too bad for them, they were touched by man, therefore they're icky.

5 - Asexuals, because you guys will just hate one ANYONE apparently, even someone who just says "I don't really wanna fuck anyone".

6 - Trans women. After all, you guys literally admited that you made up the whole "predatory trans in the bathroom" myth just to have an excuse to hate on them. And let's not forget this also led to shit like radfems trying to spy on other women in the bathroom to "make sure they're really women." After all, trying to see someone naked without their consent is totally what normal, not at all creepy people do.

7 - Kinky women! After all, we are brainwashed by the patriarchy, and need you guys to step in and save us from ourselves, because YOU know what makes US comfortable or not. It's for our own good really. It totally isn't just slut shaming with some pseudo-feminist terms thrown in the middle.

8 - Sex workers. Once again, they need to be saved from themselves - and that rescue includes ignoring them when they say "your way of helping us in dehumanizing, robs us of our agency, and often ends with us being thrown in prison." And lets not forget that some of the anti sex-work laws you guys swear exist to protect victims of human trafficking who were forced into prostitution often end with said victims thrown in prison anyway because surprise surprise, demonizing people for harmless shit makes a target no matter what.

9 - Any woman who doesn't like that you bitches are constantly associating with the alt-right - including the most violently misogynistic members of the bunch - just to get more political allies. Does it ever cross your mind that if THE biggest women-hating scumbags around think you are "one of the good ones" that shows you totally fucking failed to "rebel against the patriarchy"?

And there's also the group that you guys refuse the acknowledge the most! Men who were abused by women. After all, that doesn't work in your fantasy world where men always hold all the power in every situation, and women are always powerless. No way things could be more complicated, even with misogyny still sadly being a thing, no, no. It has to be an Us VS Them.

So, no acknowledging all the times young boys get sexually assault and are mocked for "complaining that they got laid", even when they're minors and their abusers were grown adults. No acknowledging that while women are more likely to be victims to domestic violence, people often refuse to understand that men can also victims of intimate partner violence - even if said partner is a woman. We can talk about abusive fathers, but not abusive mothers. We can talk about how abusive males tend to become cops, but not about how abusive women tend to become nurses.

And, once again, not ever, ever, ever pointing out that radfems are ALWAYS going on about how some people (in this case men) DESERVE to abused. After all, that will totally make it "fair" after all the shit women endured, since THIS is the way to deal with society's problems: you make sure they hurt as many people as possible instead of just your group.

So yeah, you guys are abuse apologists. You always have been. Now either become a decent person or die mad about it, bitch.

#asks #fuck radfems #fuck terfs #fuck swerfs

[xoxiu]

twinkle - ot7 x reader

chapter 16 table of contents masterlist join the taglist discord

summary: she had just wanted attention, that’s why she kept texting the strange number, updating him on everything in her life. little did she know how dangerous this relationship actually was. it had been jimin’s idea to kidnap the girl, but the ability to travel across the world to actually do it had been all hoseok’s doing. convenient how some things work, right? they knew that they were destined to have their baby with them, whether she wanted it or not.

tags/warnings: kidnapping, forced age regression, spanking, noncon, mafia au, drug use, stockholm syndrome, caregiver!bts, little!reader, nonsexual, diapers, panic attacks, fluff and angst, sickfic, referenced child abuse, unrequited love

taglist: @0funsite0, @frieschan

The harsh crying from the nursery prevented any thoughts of peace to enter Jin's mind. Crying until she wore herself out quickly became Lia's new bedtime ritual since the passing of her blanket. Jin held no bad blood with Yoongi, but nights like this made him wish to strangle the younger out of frustration. The crying was incessant, and Jin wanted nothing more than to comfort his hurt baby every time the sobs reached a climax before dying off into wet coughs. The strong arm around his waist kept him in place, preventing him from leaving the bed.

"She's just overtired and wants attention," Namjoon would say softly in Jin's ear whenever Jin would protest against his hold. "There is absolutely nothing wrong."

"If there was nothing wrong, she wouldn't be crying," Jin shot back, turning around to face his lover, "We're supposed to give her attention, Joon. I feel guilty just letting her cry out."

In truth, the sobs hurt Namjoon's heart as well, but he had to hold strong or be viewed as a hypocrite in Jin's eyes. The eldest created a habit of believing he was the sole caretaker of Lia, carrying the burden of constant worry over her by himself. While Jimin and Yoongi were both out on a spur-of-the-moment date night, Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook were all still present in the house. Namjoon could only hope that one of them entered Lia's room before Jin went insane with worry.

"You do know that you're not the only one responsible for Lia, right?" Namjoon asked, loosening his hold on Jin ever so slightly.

"I know," Jin replied, voice soft yet defensive.

"I think you need a little break, though." Namjoon was prepared for the look of hurt and disbelief that Jin gave him, remaining in control yet sympathetic. "You've been constantly stressed over the littlest of things, babe. It's been affecting everyone's mood, especially Lia's. Let's just take a little vacation somewhere- just the two of us."

Jin remained silent, only acknowledging Namjoon with a resigned sigh. The stress from work, Jungkook, and Lia all piled up over the past few weeks, leaving Jin a snappy, overtired wreck. A piercing cry followed by wet coughs and hiccups removed him from his self-reflection, bringing him back to the issue at hand. "What about Lia? What will she do with us gone?"

"Hyung, what did I just-"

"She needs me, Joon." 

Almost as if to prove Jin wrong, Lia's cries died down to mere sniffles. With the house now quiet, the couple could hear Hoseok's gentle and soothing voice the next room over, calming Lia down. Once the sobs were reduced to soft breaths, Namjoon looked over to Jin, silently telling the older 'I told you so.' With a huff, Jin rolled away from Namjoon. 

"It's not fair how much Lia loves Hoseok."

"Oh, not this again, hyung."

Sunlight poured into the kitchen through the patio doors, casting rays of light across the tile like heavenly beams. The chirps of the birds provided a natural, early morning song to anyone awake to hear it. Sadly, Lia was their captive audience. 

The girl sat in her high chair, resting her head in her crossed arms on the tray as she glared outside the patio doors. While the early mornings normally soothed and relaxed Lia, today it infuriated her. Witnessing the joyous nature outside lacked the normal peace when the night before was filled with sleeplessness. After crying until she nearly puked, Hoseok brought her to his and Taehyung's room for the rest of the night. Thankfully, Taehyung had already been asleep when the two arrived. Hoseok laid her down on his own bed and passed out within minutes, leaving Lia to lay awake and mind racing over nothing. The morning came far too soon yet not early enough. 

Jimin and Hoseok talked quietly amongst themselves as they prepared breakfast. Hoseok adamantly told Lia about how they'd have pancakes, and Lia wondered how he was filled with so much energy at such an early hour. As the talking behind her increased in volume, Lia kicked and squirmed, wishing to be in a quieter environment. 

"Lia baby, do you want pancakes?" Jimin asked and Lia could hear the happy smile in his voice. Her pout turned into a snarl at being directly addressed, and she kicked with much more force, hitting the kitchen table in front of her with sock-clad feet. 

"No," Lia replied petulantly. She kicked the table again, and again, and again in hopes one of the men would notice her annoyance and let her out. Of course, they were too daft to realize anything. 

Lia buried her face in her arms with a sigh. She did want pancakes- with strawberries and whipped cream to be exact- but everything just felt too much. The lack of sleep and early morning were clouding her mind, and being a brat just felt like the best way to get across her desire and hope for naptime to come right now instead of what felt like decades. 

She kicked the table again, this time hard enough to slightly push the high chair away. After a flurry of more kicks, Lia realized that the table was too far away to touch anymore. Nevertheless, she continued her fit; it felt much better to be uncooperative than to behave. 

Yoongi slowly made his way to the kitchen, half asleep and slightly crabby from being awake at an early hour. Waking up early was his own doing, so he internalized the bitterness as best as he could. The smell of freshly brewed coffee spurred him on toward the kitchen. His heavenly trance broke once the sound of banging infiltrated his ears, forcing his eyes wide open in alertness. He looked to his right to see Lia kicking at the kitchen table, most likely hiding a pout in her arms. If the sound of socks hitting the wooden table repeatedly wasn't so annoying, Yoongi would find the sight rather cute.

Once Yoongi got Jimin's attention, he silently gestured towards Lia and her little tantrum. Jimin simply shrugged and shook his head in resignment. "She didn't sleep at all last night so she's a bit cranky. I've been letting her wear herself out a bit."

"By throwing a tantrum?" Yoongi raised a questioning eyebrow at Jimin who sheepishly smiled in response. 

"I didn't want to escalate it," Jimin turned away from Yoongi, putting his attention back on the food. "She's fine."

Yoongi shook his head in disappointment- it was, in fact, not fine. He went up behind Lia and pulled her and the highchair away from the table, leaving her kicking the air. When the girl still refused to cease her kicks, Yoongi grabbed Lia's ankles in one hand, holding them straight out in front of her to stop her from kicking. 

Lia finally peeked out from behind her arms. After catching a glimpse of Yoongi's unhappy stare, she buried her face even deeper in her arms. Yoongi was the last person Lia wanted to see right now.

Even though he couldn't see Lia's face, Yoongi easily picked up on her distress. Although he had an idea of what was bothering her, Yoongi still felt the need to ask Lia what was wrong. Lia squirmed in response and whined out a soft 'no' from the safety of her arms. Yoongi couldn't help but chuckle at her cute, petulant actions, and affectionally ran a hand through her hair. 

"'No' isn't a proper answer to my question, little one." Yoongi knew he wouldn't get anything beyond a no from the little, and had to lead her on to get to the bottom of her sour mood. "Are you upset because Daddy had to throw away your blankie?"

All of Lia's squirms of protests ceased, and Yoongi knew his hypothesis was correct even before Lia meekly nodded her head. When Yoongi first disposed of the blanket, he didn't consider just how much it would affect Lia. A blanket could always be replaced and she had many others in her nursery. She refused to attach herself to any other comfort item, leaving her in a depression since she lost her blanket. It pained Yoongi to see her so down, especially since he was the cause of it all.

"If you behave, Daddy will get you a new one tonight. How does that sound?" Yoongi suggested. Even if she didn't behave he would still get Lia a new blanket- Lia, of course, did not need to know that. 

Almost immediately Lia nodded enthusiastically. Yoongi smiled and gave a kiss to the top of her head before leaving her to herself. 

Lia smiled happily from the safety of her arms. 

Jin observed Lia and Taehyung playing on the new playset from his seat on the porch swing. It was a lovely day outside; the sun shone out from behind a few clouds, leaving the air a comfortable and warm temperature. Upon discovering that the weather today would be beyond perfect for a solid chunk of the day, Taehyung begged and pleaded to let Lia outside to play. Taking the little outside of the house scared Jin more than he'd like to admit, but hearing Hoseok describe how well-behaved she was in town gave him solace in allowing her outside to play.

Besides, the occasion gave Jin power to dress Lia up in the cutest play outfit- a white shirt with light pink shortalls over it. When she first came outside, she also had flats with a tiny bow on each shoe and her hair in pigtails. The pigtails were removed almost immediately, and the shoes lasted a solid five minutes (much longer than Seokjin expected them to last). Seokjin would have protested against her getting her feet dirty, but bath time would just be a bit earlier than usual tonight. 

From the looks of it, Taehyung was trying his hardest to get Lia to play with him. She took shelter in the deck area of the playset while Taehyung tried to talk her into playing a game with him. The little wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. Taehyung, on multiple occasions, would climb up the rock wall to get to Lia, who would slide down the slide backward in an attempt to further their distance. 

Jin's heart nearly leaped out of his chest at seeing Lia slide down backward. He knew she would eventually hurt herself if she continued doing it; there was a high chance she could fall back and hit her head on the ground, and while Jin and Taehyung were both highly trained in the medical field, neither felt particularly fond of treated their little's head wound that could have been avoided. Jin quickly scolded Lia, telling her to slide down normally or she can't use the slide at all. As usual, Lia showed no sign of hearing Jin other than just blankly staring at him. She looked between Taehyung and Jin before resigning herself to sit on the swing facing away from Jin. Taehyung took the swing next to her, continuing his very lively quest to get Lia to play. 

The patio door opening and closing caused Jin to look away from Lia and Tae. Namjoon sat next to Jin, sitting in comfortable silence while watching Lia and Taehyung. The younger pulled out his phone, handing it over to Jin, who still had his eyes set on the two playing on the swings. "I was looking up cruises for us to take, and I think you'd like-"

"Do you think Taehyung is a little?"

Namjoon choked on his breath, coughing from the sudden question. "I-why-" His mind frantically tried to wrap itself around the question and why Seokjin would ask something like that. "Why would you think that?"

"I mean, just look at him," Jin raised a hand in a gesture towards Taehyung, "He acts how we wanted Lia to act."

Namjoon was at a loss for words. He tried his best to change the topic, but couldn't formulate words properly. From the look in Jin's eyes, Namjoon knew something was off with the older.

After taking a deep breath, followed by another for good measure, Namjoon finally arranged his thoughts. "Just... Just remember that we have to discuss the new rules with Lia tonight, hyung." Seokjin nodded absentmindedly, his eyes never leaving the sight of Lia and Taehyung. 

As the day neared its' end, Lia felt as if she was getting closer and closer to her breaking point. She felt nauseated and anxious from lack of sleep, and just overwhelmed in general. Lia couldn't pinpoint an exact reason why she felt this way, but held it in nevertheless. She had to be good if she wanted her blanket back, and being good sadly meant she had to suffer through the day.

Taehyung hadn't helped her mood, and dealing with him was, sadly, a part of being good. He was just so loud and off the wall, leaving Lia overwhelmed. Maybe it was all his fault, Lia thought. Thankfully, every time Lia felt she was going to scream, punch, or do whatever to Taehyung, someone would come along and pull her away for either a nap or a snack. Her only regret was refusing the naps or the quick snack. She felt too anxious to sleep or eat, and not eating and not sleeping only made her more anxious.

Life just didn't want Lia to win.

In fact, life wanted Lia to feel absolutely trapped every minute of the day. Currently, she sat on the living room floor behind the coffee table. The boys sat on the couches and chairs, making Lia feel even smaller and anxious with all eyes on her. She did not like all the attention placed on her, and curled in on herself, hiding her face behind her knees and hands. 

"Lia baby, look at Eomma," Jin spoke softly, noticing just how uncomfortable the little seemed. She shifted ever so slightly and peeked out to look at Jin without revealing her entire face. 

'Do it for the blanket,' she told herself. She had to behave to a degree to get her blanket, and Lia felt no remorse doing the bare minimum of being good. 

"These rules are very important, so make sure you turn on your listening ears," Lia hid her grimace and blush from the choice of words behind her knees. At this point, everyone was used to how often Lia blushed- it was so easy, and sometimes they tried to make her blush just for fun. 

A new voice caught Lia's attention. "We know it'll be hard for you to remember all of them because you're little, so you can write them down and we'll hang it up so you can see them." Lia looked up from her knees after hearing Namjoon speak. Only then did she notice the large piece of paper and various crayons on the coffee table in front of her. "Take a crayon so you're ready to write them down, sweetie."

Lia hesitantly reached a shaking hand out for a random crayon. The closest one to her was green, and although she didn't like the color she refused to uncurl herself just yet to grab a different color. 

"Are you ready?" Namjoon asked, and waited until Lia gave a shy nod before starting the rules. 

"Always listen to Daddies."

'Oh, so that's the collective term,' Lia thought. Her initial idea of alleviating the situation with witty internal comments soon vanished as it dawned on her that she never exactly learned how to read or write in Korean. Lia stared back and forth between the paper and her crayon, not sure what to do yet too prideful to ask for help. 

"Baby?" Namjoon attempted to grab her attention, wondering why she wasn't writing anything down yet. When Lia didn't respond, Jimin took pity on the girl and joined her on the carpet.

"Let Mommy help you, honey," Jimin said, setting Lia down in his lap. He took her hand in his and helped her write out the rules. Lia felt her face heat up by several degrees at the action, and blocked out Jimin sounding out each syllable one-by-one in her ear softly. 

Once Namjoon saw that the first rule had been written out, albeit messy and slow, he continued reciting the rules. "Do not hit, bite, or scratch."

That rule rarely applied nowadays. On occasion, Lia felt cornered and that the only way out was through physical altercations. Once it dawned on her that her actions had little to no effect and only resulted in her earning a sharp swat to her bottom or those dreaded gloves on for the rest of the day, she quickly deceased her efforts. 

"Try to use your words."

It became quickly evident that Lia had a problem with expressing what she wanted through words, giving answers as either a nod or a shake of the head, or a small 'I don't know'. While no one saw it as an important rule (hence the try portion), they still wanted Lia to express herself and not keep herself and her emotions boxed in. If she was just a naturally quiet little, so be it. But they did not want a naturally quiet little who was scared or too intimidated to share her feelings.

"Use kind words and your manners."

That immediately closed the first loophole Lia thought of at the previous rule. Damn.

Darn. 

"Naptime is at 10 am and 1 pm. Bedtime is at 9 pm."

This was directed more towards Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok, who deemed these times as optional and chose to ignore multiple times. Seokjin grew tired of being dubbed the bad guy because he put a quick end to Lia participating in late movie nights when her bedtime was over two hours ago. 

"No tantrums."

Lia pouted at that rule- she did not throw tantrums. 

"No screentime after dinner."

Lia assumed this one was in reference to the bedtime rule. The only things she was permitted to watch were children's shows and baby games on the tablet, so this rule didn't bother her. 

Namjoon finished up the rest of the rules rather quickly, and Lia zoned out until the word 'punishments' was mentioned. Her eyes shot up out of fear, eliciting small chuckles from everyone in the room at her comical reaction.

The list of punishments shocked Lia a lot less than she expected. After experiencing most of them at least once, none of them really phased her. It still wasn't a pleasant experience acknowledging them, however. 

After the last punishment had been added to the list, everyone stood up, leaving Lia to decorate the list however she wanted before they put it up on the fridge. Lia looked down at the list and sighed- she didn't know how to decorate it. A moment later and Jimin noticed she had yet to draw anything. "If you're done with the list, it's time for bed, little one." Lia let Jimin take the list without protest. 

It took a minute for the word 'bedtime' to click in Lia's head, but once it did she realized that it was the end of the day and that she had been good all day. She looked around the room to find Yoongi and ask for her blanket, but couldn't find him anywhere. Her mind became frantic- he didn't forget, did he? Or had she actually been bad, and Yoongi wouldn't give her the blanket?

No one paid much attention to Lia, too busy talking amongst themselves to notice her anxiety and desperation in looking for Yoongi. Soft sniffles soon turned into loud sobs, and suddenly all attention was back on Lia as she cried on the floor. 

"Oh, baby, come here," Jin said, moving to pick Lia up and comfort her. A hand on his arm stopped him, and Jin turned back to give Hoseok a confused look.

"Don't," he said, voice low, "let her come to one of us for comfort."

That suggestion resulted in shocked gasps and disbelief. "Hoseok, what the fuck?" Jimin yelled, and soon everyone joined in, ganging up on Hoseok. Between the shouts scolding Hoseok for trying to feed his own ego and Lia's pained cries, no one noticed Jungkook sneaking away from the group.

The chaos from downstairs caused Yoongi to come back downstairs from his bedroom. He snuck away while Namjoon told Lia the rules, wanting to get some important work done before Lia went to bed. Apparently, that short time period was just enough for all hell to break loose. As he entered the living room, he couldn't help but wonder how going over the rules turned into a yelling and crying fest.

He really did miss a bunch while working on his computer. 

"What-" Before Yoongi could even finish asking what went wrong, Lia's head snapped up from where she buried her face in the carpet at the sound of Yoongi's voice. She sat up and ran to him for comfort, and Yoongi picked her up, still unsure as to what exactly went wrong. Yoongi shushed and rocked Lia to try and calm her, and eventually the sobs turned into harsh breaths and coughs. Since all attention was back on her, she buried her face in Yoongi's neck out of embarrassment. Once she felt she was calm enough, quietly asked, "Blanket?" Yoongi tried his best to hold back his laughter- she was so upset over a silly blanket. 

"Yes, we can get you a blanket," Yoongi replied. He settled himself down on the recliner with Lia in his lap, taking his phone out to look for a blanket. They looked at various blankets, none of them in particular catching Lia's eye. After a while Yoongi just hands the phone to Lia, allowing her to look at all of them herself. She eventually settled on a soft pink and white plaid blanket- a similar color scheme to her old blanket. Yoongi ordered the blanket and pretended not to notice the small, sleepy smile on Lia's face. 

With an overexaggerated yawn, Yoongi settled further into the recliner, holding Lia slightly tighter. He decided to just spend the night in the recliner with Lia, since getting up seemed like too much work. Lia didn't seem to mind, either, already being half asleep. After a quick goodnight from Seokjin, Yoongi closes his eyes.

Not even a moment later, a loud and frantic scream from Seokjin startles both him and Lia awake.

"Jungkook, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #mafia au #bts little space #twinkle

[eclipse15]

(CW for talk about programming/attempted programming, mostly regarding something that seems similar to spin programming)

TLDR: Looking for help stopping an alter who acts very similarly to spin programming.

Our situation is kind of unusual. We think our abuser group attempted to program us but mostly failed. However, we already had developed DID from non-OA, so even though they weren't able to program us exactly, they were able to make us split and condition the newly split alters.

In most cases, when we've become aware of alters who have been conditioned in that way, we've been able to help them feel safe and realize they don't need to do the thing they were conditioned or taught to do anymore. Most of them didn't want to be doing that and only complied out of fear.

But recently, basically something happened that the host became aware of things she wasn't supposed to know about (in our past abusers' eyes). Ever since then, I'm the only fronter who can even think about system stuff without us getting this awful vertigo, getting panicky, feeling hopeless, and badly dissociating.

I was able to find who's responsible for the vertigo. She's a kid and thinks she's spinning because she wants to and finds it fun, but other "conditioned" alters absolutely are experiencing it as a punishment. The problem is, the strategies we normally use aren't working. When I tell her we're safe now and she doesn't have to do this anymore, she says she's doing it because she wants to.

My thought is for us to stop looking into system stuff for a while until the spinner kid calms down and then I can try talking to her again. I want to believe she doesn't understand it's hurting the rest of the system and that if I explain that to her, I can help her find something else she finds fun that won't give us the vertigo and everything. But do you have any other ideas? I'm afraid that if I mess this up, I'll make things worse.

TW: PROGRAMMING TALK

As always, if you have access to a therapist or professional tell them what’s up. They could be a major help. Anyways, here’s our method of detecting variations of don’t tell and silence programs.

Please note me are not therapists, we are just sharing our experiences and what had helped us. If this doesn’t work for you go to a professional if accesible, and even if it does I’d go to one anyways.

Okay so this sounds like a very complex situation. I think that delicately explaining to her that she’s causing harm is a good end goal, but don’t do it right away. She might not take it well, and it make make the spin worse.

First I’d find a way to bypass this program, kind of like a loophole. You said nobody can talk about system and trauma stuff without the spin. I’d try to draw it or metaphorically write it.

Or, if your creatively inclined, you could give certain “bad”/spin causing things motifs and incorporate them somewhere. This can be as straight up as making gore trauma dark red and splattering this color paint all over a paper, or as abstract as assigning certain topics as music notes and composing a song. It really could be anything.

After you’ve discovered a loophole, you could communicate to the little girl using these pieces-whether you used the motif method or not will matter, because if it’s abstract you may have to get her to find out about the meaning somehow.

If this quells the spin, great! If it doesn’t, at least now you know a way to express what’s happening without getting the program triggered

Hope this helped!

#🐙 #tbmc #did alter #did osdd #osddid #hc did #polyfragmented #polyfrag #polyfrag system #actually mentally ill #endos dni

[sometipsygnostalgic]

13 & 25 for the ask game

Hi Madison :D

13. worst blorboficiation

Ahhhhh!!!!

With Adventure Time - it's Finn. Again a lot of people see him as a victim of everything, especially not having a girlfriend, and it's disheartening. I also think, he has an interesting relationship to trauma, and a lot of people want to fit him in the same box as Steven Universe, who has a VERY DIFFERENT relationship to the events of his show. But Finn has actively chosen to embrace his chaotic adventure life, and yes that's messed him up in some ways, but does that really make him different to anyone else in Ooo? I love this world's darkness and how it colours its characters in ways that subvert what we'd expect. I don't see a need to fit it in a normal dramatic storytelling box.

With Spop - Referencing my last post, it's gotta be Hordak and Catra, tied together. Because yes Catra is a sad little meow meow in a lot of fanworks who mean nasty Glimmer is being mean and nasty to, but also, even though it's less common, it feels WAY WORSE when Hordak fans do it. Because, what you'll get is stories where everyone is like "sweet precious hordak" and then they'll turn around and say "DIE CATRA!!!!". It's very clear the authors of such stories are responding to Catra fans that hate Hordak, and have decided to do the exact same thing and make every character hate Catra and be friends with Hordak. I'm thinking of a specific author here. It's really fucked up because Hordak was one of Catra's abusers, and they'll have Adora and Entrapta - two of the most forgiving characters in the series - decide Catra is bad forever and should die. Or, fucking hell, SCORPIA becomes friends with the man who killed her family. Except, wait, the author has decided that he didn't kill Scorpia's family, it's all the fault of Shadow Weaver/King Scorpio/something else because "Hordak would NEVER do something so evil!!1!!!! It'd make him irredeemable!!!!!" Jesus christ, I hate it when people don't understand the richness of the characters they're dealing with!!!

25 - common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Adventure Time - above. Finn doesn't need a GF. The end.

She-ra - "The princesses were so mean to Entrapta!!!" - Yes they were mean, yes in many ways there is ableism, but also Entrapta was written to be manic, constantly running into danger without regard for herself and others, and there was no communication between the characters. You know what though? This doesn't mean that we're supposed to leave the episode thinking Mermista is ableist and mean and the princesses are BAD. They have decided to be her friend and they now understand where Entrapta is coming from, and she now understands why everyone was so mad at her.

What frustrates me the most is taht people will see an episode that has some writing flaws and go "these characters are irredeemable monsters" instead of, yknow, confronting the writing problems of the story??? Or, even worse, some people will think the Princesses were RIGHT to yank the girl around because she was being naughty. Why did the shera team think it was OK to have Entrapta be thrown around on a leash twice, and then try to end the story as if it was all a big misunderstanding??? That's a WRITING ISSUE. The she-ra characters aren't real, they don't exist outside of the context of being fictional. The counter-argument here is, "the writing makes the characters", but this is a conversation that needs both of these things to be addressed. People just continue as if it was an OK episode but the characters were mean.

You can either choose to write them better next time or you can give up and claim "Wahhh wahh mermista bad!!!" because one of the episodes she was in was trash.

I think there is a lot of value in Launch in that I related hard to Entrapta's perspective as really wanting to connect to the princesses, but falling short, messing up a lot, and how she ran away upset that she'd never bridge the gap. And how Mermista ran after her, because even after everything Mermista doesn't want her to get hurt or die!!! She cares about her safety and when the princesses see the depth of Entrapta's emotions, when they see she ISN'T going to betray them again, they embrace her as one of their own.

However I recognise that she isn't written nearly as... un-self aware in other episodes. It was a writing choice to have them get mad at her over her neurodivergent characteristics and, i suppose, mental health problems, instead of the whole "killing them with robots" thing. They thought it'd be funny, i guess?

#she ra #spop #adventure time #the whole hand signal scene between mermista and perfuma is the funniest part of that ep #as is bow having a heart attack

[no-side-us]

Letters From Watson Liveblog - Apr. 18

The Copper Beeches, Part 3 of 3

In hindsight, it's kind of obvious that Alice is the prisoner. There's not really anyone else it could be, and I don't know why I just believed Mr. Rucastle when he said that she left for America.

I guess this story is another case of a young woman abused and controlled by her father. It's unfortunate how many of these sort of situations Sherlock had to deal with.

That's a smart way of doing things, more so when the parents are pretending to be sweet and smiley all the time. And I doubt he'd care either way, but I'm curious if little Edward knows that he has a sister locked in the attic.

I can't believe Alice was kept in such deplorable conditions. Honestly though, the main thing I noticed was the lack of any sort of place to use the bathroom. No mention of a toilet or anything, not even a bucket! That just makes it so much worse.

I don't see this ending well for good ol' Carlo the mastiff.

Terrible and gruesome.

Well, on the bright side Carlo got a real good bite out of Mr. Rucastle's throat before Watson had to shoot it, so at least in the end he got some revenge for his poor treatment.

I'm not sure how this scene is supposed to come off, but to me the fact Mrs. Toller mentions how the court should take all this makes her seem like she's out for nobody but herself. Especially with her saying that she was Miss Hunter's and Alice's "friend" despite not really doing anything to help either one.

And this was ultimately all about money, which is insane. I hate to imagine any of the real life scenarios Doyle was deriving these stories from, mainly because they probably didn't end happily with someone like Sherlock coming in to help.

"Worrying her" is an interesting way to phrase it. I feel like it hides a lot of what was most likely threats and abuse. I highly doubt she got brain-fever just from Mr. Rucastle bothering her about it from time to time.

Okay, so Mrs. Toller did help Alice escape, so I take back my words about her being only out for herself. Still, I feel like there must be something else she could have done in all that time Alice was imprisoned.

I'm amazed Mr. Rucastle survived. Amazed and disappointed. I'm also surprised that Mrs. Rucastle genuinely seems to love him. You'd think she was just here for Alice's money or something. But she has a kid with him, so I suppose that makes sense.

So everything for them just goes back to normal? Nobody got punished? Legally I mean. Keeping someone locked up against their will seems like a crime punishable by law. Or is the fact Alice was Mr. Rucastle's daughter mean that he got off scot-free?

Also, Mrs. Toller, despite helping Alice escape, just goes back to work for Mr. Rucastle? I can't imagine he's okay with that.

Good for them. It's a shame we didn't actually get to meet Alice or Mr. Fowler, but based on how devoted he was to her I think it's safe to say they'll be happy together.

I don't know what Watson's expectations are, especially since Holmes has only thought of Miss Hunter more as a sister than anything else.

Good for her, too. Sometimes I'm glad we don't see some characters again, cause it means the last note that we're left with is a happy one.

I have some few remaining questions.

Why was Mrs. Rucastle crying alone so much? Is her relationship with Mr. Rucastle really bad (which wouldn't be surprising) despite what Watson wrote earlier? Or was it actually just because her kid is shitty?

And about that kid, I don't know why but I'm very curious as to his thoughts about all this. I'm also sorry he won't have better parents.

And regarding Mr. Rucastle's plan: the impersonation didn't work, right? Cause Mr. Fowler still came back to the house for Alice despite Violet waving him away when she was pretending to be her.

Also, why didn't they fire Violet after they stopped having her pretend to be Alice? That seems like an easy way for someone to find out about her imprisonment. Although maybe they just genuinely needed someone to look after their kid.

Another also, but now that I think about it, if Sherlock weren't a part of this story Mr. Fowler would have still convinced Mrs. Toller to help Alice escape. The only difference would be that Mr. Rucastle wouldn't have gotten his throat torn out. So I guess Sherlock's appearance is justified.

Good story. I'm glad I read it.

No tease for the next one? Guess it'll be a surprise.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

#letters from watson #the copper beeches #sherlock holmes #john h watson #violet hunter #jephro rucastle #alice rucastle #mr fowler #mrs rucastle #edward rucastle #mr toller #mrs toller #carlo the mastiff #liveblogging sherlock holmes

[catragemiau]

I'm getting fucked up on rum and rewatching Good Omens 2 because I hate myself

SO

Have I ever told you how I hate and don't understand alcohol (I'm drunk rn btw OH THE IRONY) I didn't but I want to abuse the blogging heart of Tumblr to write my rambling down

Expect a lot of typos and incorrect usage of words, I'm awful at English even when I'm not myself.

I've always been amazed by alcoholics. The alcohol, even the best one, has DISGUSTING taste and smell but the thing about it is that it makes your head feel funny and apparently that's enough to ignore the awful sensations you get while drinking it. I'm not particularly into "symbols" and "signs" but A LOT of different little things has convinced me that if I ever start drinking, I'll become an alcoholic.

I started drinking when I was at my internet friend's place in the capital city after I got dumped around 8 months AND half-year ago by two different people who didn't even considered me as their partners lmao. Being asexual in a country with obsession with sex and patriarchy is INTERESTING but that's a discussion for another day. I drank some disgusting cyder and got fucked up after one? two cans?? And then I went to sleep during Terminator 2 because I wasn't used to consuming alcohol. At the age of 22 I think.

I started ordering cocktails at a karaoke bar we were visiting pretty often with irl friends. Apparently they were quite shitty since they were using cheap alcohol and were VERY weak to hide the awful taste. I was okay with that, I didn't know better.

At some point I got acquainted with rum. I think it started with cocktail drinks at that karaoke bar. And at small parties my friend had when he still lived in this city. I can't say I felt in love with it but it's the type of alcohol drink I'm most okay with. Tastes and smells like shit but at least I can bear this type of shit.

For an alcohol beverage, rum is most bearable for me. It STILL tastes like shit but for alcohol it's actually quite good. Now's the time I actually start my rambling about how I don't get it.

Alcohol tastes like shit. Absolute. Abysmal. Shit.

And I still don't get it. After drinking good and AWFUL alcohol.

I'm supposed to be an alcoholic and I'm still convinced if I was normal mentally, I'd be one. But I'm not. I hate how alcohol tastes. And still I'm drinking it, even right now. I FUCKING LOVE RUM I hate rum fuck my life.

I like cocktails when they're made of good and best alcoholic beverages and a shit ton of flavoring agents to kill the taste of alcohol. I like mint cocktails, I LOVE MOJITO. How could people hate mojito??? What's wrong with them. STILL, even if I like cocktails, they're shit. They taste like shit.

I'm amazed by alcoholics. I'm amazed by my friends who can get shitfaced by awful alcohol and then do it again in a few weeks or even days. They can suppress the feeling of tasting shit to get funny feeling in their head. To forget. I don't get it. I wish I could - it would've made my life so much easier, but I can't. It all tastes like shit.

I don't know if I'm autistic or not and I can't even get checked in this country. But I know for the fact that alcohol is SHIT. I can't get addicted to it even if I want to. Even if it makes me feel how I wish I could feel everyday. How I should feel to make my life easier because caring about everything that happens in my life is awful. You know that killing people is bad? You can get in jail here if you say it out loud. Discussion for future when we're legally allowed to talk about it when it all ends.

How can people drink cheapest shittiest alcohol just to forget things? Just to not feel? Do they do it consciously? Do they do it because they forgot why they even started it? Do they do it just because they can? They don't ask of themselves that much, that's for sure.

How can people do things with addiction when it hurts you at first? Do they just not care? Do they not feel the pain that comes with the first step? How do you ignore it? Experience or brain chemistry?

Y'know, I actually love singing. I forget I do but I still do it when I don't feel like shit. Or when I do feel like COMPLETE SHIT. I feel 120% when I'm drunk and I wish my friend would have more parties which end up in improvised karaoke night just so I could express myself the one of two ways I love to. But he's in another city and visits us once half-year. Other than that I'm rarely invited to anything. And I tend to have conflicts with my friends because I'm very demanding of them and of myself but I don't talk about it. I don't like to show it but then I do show it and fuck up everything. Being friends with good people is hard.

Will Wood writes great music. I need to buy a piano to remember my music school times. I still wish my parents would gave me away to guitar or violin teachings but piano is good too.

It was supposed to rain today but it didn't.

To my sober self: stfu. Don't delete this. Learn to deal with cringe.

And you, the follower I've seen for a while or a random person that just decided to waste their time. Tell me about your favorite drink. I love to taste new things. And I probably love you <3 Keep it up. You have to.

#cat says #cat rambling #holy shit I legit need to get drunk more often #there's no Adderall instead we have A LOT OF ALCOHOL

[chronussy-bc]

Annon-Guy: Slightly off topic, but how do you feel about slapstick scenes in manga and anime in general (same gender, male on female and female on male).

I ask this because Train and Svene get into a LOT of comedic beatdowns with each other and recover in the next scene compared to when they get hurt for REAL. Even when Eve clocks people in the head, with criminals they get knocked out, but with the doctor after she was injured by that gunslinger, he just gets a lump on his head. Even when Kyoko tries to kiss Train, he clocks her on the head for even attempting to do so. Granted, this is mostly in the manga, but still.

You see, people take it too seriously, calling it full on abuse and saying it normalizes it, regardless if the relationship is platonic or romantic.

This is especially prevalent with Harsh Tsundere characters, mostly female ones who attack the male love for perverted reasons or out of jealousy, whether intentional or not for comedy purposes. In that case, it's a Double Standard as they're called.

Ultimately, I know we're not supposed to take it seriously, but I wanted to know your thoughts regardless.

I think it based on the context and the frequency of the action. In case of Train and Sven, it’s part of how their dynamic, like how siblings often fight. In case of Eve, it’s because she was having a nightmare and suddenly saw a foreign face when she opened her eyes, so she reacted reflexively. There was even a scene where she apologized about it. In short, they have a rightful reason to do it, and readers know that it would be acceptable to a certain extent if applied to real life.

In the case of Tsundere, it often stems from jealousy or is purely an expression. It can be cute if used for a reasonable number of times, but it’s obviously the opposite. It’s eventually become a cliché that no longer has the desired effect, and people grow annoyed about it. While we all get that it’s for comedy, watching it is tiresome. It’s like you have to watch the same youtube ad for 10 minutes in order to finish an episode. And since people cannot relate to the main character putting up with it despite doing nothing wrong, they tend to be more critical about it.

Unfortunately, this type of behavior is usually meant for female characters. Therefore, you gonna see hate aimed at female character more than male ones. It’s not entirely double standard, but rather a consequence of a stereotype in writing. Adding to the flaws, these tsundere characters are not commonly very well written. They are mostly flat, overly dependent on the male characters or take him as the only purpose to do whatever. With prominent traits of a tsundere be considered annoying, if they lacked redeeming quality, it would make it easier for people to hate them.

A good example of Tsundere is Rin Tohsaka from Fate series. While she might have been physical/harsh at some point to Emiya, she has other things about her as a character that make people love to see her on screen. I usually avoid series with this type of characters, so I can't recall any bad examples, but I'm sure that there are plenty. I have seen much backlash in this topic. Sometimes they are justified, sometimes they are just another thing for haters to bash about the character in question. But as I have said, if the writing were good in general, people would not be so against it. Even when the series is just the type for recreational purposes, the one with barely any plot at all, there are still certain standards.

Good character writing is also a reason I really love Black Cat, despite its simple, typical shonen plot. Eve could have easily been written as those Tsundere commonly seen in anime or been used for fanservice, but the author chose not to and built her character neatly.

#anime and manga #black cat

[marypsue]

Third (I think? Maybe fourth?) watch of Stranger Things season one completed in one four-episode sitting tonight, and some things clicked that hadn't come together for me on previous watches, primarily character motivations.

I have struggled with the general canon portrayal of Hopper as A Guy We're Supposed To Be Sympathetic To juxtaposed against his decision to sell El out. I got close to figuring it out after the last watchthrough - in season one, it's not about El metaphorically standing in for his daughter, it's about saving Joyce from the pain of losing a child - but I really think I've cracked it this time. Between episode 3's “Please don’t be my kid", and the parallel in episode 7(? 6 and 7?) where Brenner tells Karen Wheeler that he wants to help her find her son but she has to trust him and almost the exact same words come out of Hopper's mouth in the same situation to Joyce, and the way David Harbour plays the moment Hopper cuts open Will's fake body and everything that comes after that - like cutting into what might be a child's corpse is The Line, and he knows it, and once he's crossed it, well, he's already done that, he's capable of anything - and how he initially tries to keep Joyce from coming with him to the lab and how he doesn't even seem to be trying to come up with a plan other than 'break in, wing it'?

I'm pretty sure now that he was planning to sell El out from the moment he walked out of the gym. It's all about saving Will, it's all about Will metaphorically standing in for the child he couldn't save, and do you know what he'd do for that? For a chance?

Anyway. Apparently I was wrong when I said that trying to engender sympathy for Brenner was undermining season one, since apparently 'feel bad for the guy who does abhorrent things to children because he was sad for unrelated reasons!' has been baked into the show from episode one and I was just too busy concentrating on the abused child who escaped captivity and discovered the world and found friends and a family for the first time and gave up everything to protect them, who is the real heart and soul of this show, ask literally anyone who's watched it, you fucking walnuts to see it.

I'm good. I'm good. I'm so normal about this television show you guys.

Speaking of Brenner, the other thing that struck me this go-round was just how much his primary motivation seems to be curiosity. I really struggled with this, too, especially when I was working on the road goes ever on (yes I'm going to link to it every time I mention it on here, it's still the thing I'm proudest of writing), and I don't think I'd quite nailed his character down by the time it got posted. Like I don't think what's in that fic is implausible for his character, necessarily, but I really leaned on pride and a desire for control (and a certain arrogant sense of invincibility) as motivating factors for his character in that fic. And while they're all definitely built into him, I think now that they actually come second to the curiosity.

The Gate gets opened in the first place because he immediately and without question gives up on spying on Russia (theoretically the whole point of this exercise) to go off on a wild goose chase for a scary noise that spooked his psychic spy. He 'dies' onscreen because the Demogorgon comes out of a wall and while everyone else is shooting at it (and getting murdered for their trouble), he just wanders on up, unarmed, unafraid, slightly awed, for a closer look! I'm quite sure that's why he actually lets Hopper and Joyce go after Will - he's not expecting them to come back out, but if they do, think what they could tell him about what's on the other side! He just wants to poke things and see what happens! Sometimes what happens is that whatever he's poking bites his finger off! Science is neat, but I'm afraid it's not very forgiving! Man I wish I'd figured this out before posting the monster longfic because I could have made his entire arc so much better and more convincing with this in mind!

I don't know if that's consistent with how they show him in season four, and frankly, given the degree of character drift (or outright assassination) everyone else is showing in season four, I don't particularly care.

Also, importantly, his primary power - and weapon - is trust. He wields authority to command trust, which he absolutely does not deserve, and it's notable that in the finale he asks Joyce for her trust and she refuses to give it to him. And she's the first and only person to refuse to give it to him. She's been lied to, mistreated, disbelieved, written off as crazy, and she is the only person on the entire show who can see right through him.

And yet, then there's that parallel drawn between Brenner asking for Karen's trust and Hopper asking for Joyce's, and she does place her trust in this man who ultimately gets her what she was looking for all along - and she never asks what the price was that was paid for it. I have to ask myself, now, does she ever wonder? Is that part of the distance between them in season two, the reason why neither of them acted on what was clearly supposed to be attraction between them? Because choosing to trust is not the same as trusting?

Season one really did have levels, and lots to chew over, and new things to find in each watch. When this show is good, man, it is good.

#at this point i figure I'm restating things that everyone has known but. it is my blog and I get to write my silly little thoughts in it #please be gentle with me in this difficult time #stranger things #god DAMN would understanding this piece of brenner's motivation have made things in the monster longfic click. #like I wouldn't even have had to change anything in the plot! but the REASONS for it. #man oh man a driving almost reckless curiosity would explain SO many things he does in that fic SO nicely #i pretty much got the what but I didn't quite get to the heart of the why!! alas #well I will take this lesson and use it to improve my characterisation in the future