#not 2 b the fun police but its not funny

[worldwake]

Some of the people on this website really need to like. Take a step back and analyse what they say to people and whether or not it's at all appropriate or called for

#not 2 b the fun police but its not funny

[hatchetfieldtheories]

Return to Hatchetfield-Town - TGWDLM Part 2

Oh my god, we’re back again. Brothers, sisters, everybody sing – wait no

It’s TGWDLM part 2! Today we talk about coffee, those police siren sounds and we begin looking into Hidgens… god help us.  It also features a new theory I haven’t actually posted on the blog yet.

Also, please let me know if you’re enjoying these. They do take a lot of time, but they are a lot of fun to put together.

Part 1 | Part 3

Reality is falling apart as I stand here today… I guess it’s time for a coffee break

This is how I have entered every Starbucks I have ever been to.

Hey Starkid, when can we get a full version of the Black Coffee song?  

Has it been established yet whether Nora and Zoey had already been infected when they were teaching Emma the new tip song.  If yes, why did they just teach Emma the tip song and not infect her?  Just to embarrass her mid-song when she didn’t know the rest of the dance?  Or…

Thomas Sanders Voice – Theory Time

So at the end of Part 1, I established that the Hive had picked Paul to be their Hero, their star, way, way, early on at the start of their apotheosis.  Once we move into Let It Out/ Inevitable I’ll talk about this more, but basically – there is a reason they want Paul to survive the start of the show.  There is a reason the infected (and later McNamara) keep pressing him on what he wants. They need him to want something, so that they can get what they want, because that’s how the Worrisome Wombles (LiB) work.  They want him to want to destroy them, so he can be with Emma – that’s his drive. They’re very aware that without a want, they may not be able to manipulate him to do what they need.

Therefore it’s very possible that if Nora and Zoey had been infected early on, yet hadn’t infected Emma, it was because they were sure Emma would be the “thing” that Paul wants – they want their star of the show and they think they know who they can use to get it. /End of theory

Promise me you’ll think about the implications.

@abiimaryy​  can I just post your one post  that perfectly encapsulates that Starkid definitely did not think about the implications of that line when they wrote it? We’ve all long gone past the point of no return.

“Cup of Roasted Coffee” is track 4 on Now That’s What I Call Coffee. “Poisoned Coffee” is the album hidden track that you must play 20 minutes of silence to find.  Is this an old person reference now?

I also fully believe the coffee shop patrons were already beginning to be infected when the song began. Sure they were poisoned and their coffee contained the blue goo but the “in-time coffee cup dancing” and exaggerated synchronous sips is just too on the nose.  Their infections begun, they just needed that dose of poisoned coffee to kill them off to fully take them over.

At this point the Hive are still not particularly violent – ignoring the fact they kill three men with poisoned coffee in broad daylight.  

The cat is clearly not a secret Eldritch being

There’s nothing I love more than a fourth wall break, and Starkid have regularly establish fourth walls do not exist in their universes.  I can’t decide which is more telling of some kind of Hatchetfield link with the audience, Jon and Lauren wandering through the alley, or Joey giving the audience member an apple.   There is a wonderful theory that the audience is part of the B&W which @wolvesandvoices​  put into words here: x

“I didn’t think about the implications!” – me thinking back to that time 12 years ago when I discovered something called Harry Potter the musical by someone called Starkid. They were a funny group of people – wonder what they’re all doing now.

Paul’s work friends one by one popping out of the trash cans is hilarious, but its notable again that Mr Davidson was infecting people in his office – Bill notes that people kept coming out singing.  On my first watch I didn’t really take note of this, and just assumed Paul got out of the office before Mr Davidson could infect him, but taking into account the theories mentioned above and previously, this line just reaffirms that the Hive do not yet want Paul infected.

Who is the latte hottay? Answers on a postcard.

These aren’t spirit fingers... THESE are spirit fingers

Ted really doesn’t fully grasp the severity of what is happening around him.  The police are singing at you Ted, I don’t think they’re too fussed about your ID.  

I don’t really have much to say about Show Me Your Hands – it doesn’t really add much to theory fodder until the end.  That’s not to say I don’t love it, its one of my top songs in the show (tho I think all of the songs are in my top songs… I’m very indecisive). Shout out to Mariah’s dry delivery of “the cat is dead” and Robert’s siren noises.  My sincere hope is that in a future Hatchetfield production there is a need for a siren sound effect, and it is just a recording of Robert.

Charlotte touched the brain. The blue brain.  The brain covered in goo.  Pokey’s blue goo.  I’m sure that’s fine and has no ramifications later in the show.  

It is at this moment on my first watch that I realised how much Charlotte’s voice in this show sounds like Judy Garland.  

Oh Hidgens. He’s finally arrived.  Does he need an introduction?  From what I have seen from a lot of posts as people discover TGWDLM, a lot of people know about Hidgens before they even know what the show is about.  Which you know what, fair.  I’m sure Hidgens would be thrilled to discover his legacy.  I feel like it’s obvious, but I am assuming Robert intended Hidgens to sound like Doc from Back to the Future? Hmmm, a kooky “academic” who has an accident and ends up with a vision of something that could change the world.  Great Scott!

Hidgens, my dear, please don’t gesture to yourself while holding a gun.

Ok, so Hidgens theorised this exact scenario thirty years ago. I believe it has been established this happened when he was struck by lightning.  Now, lightning is used a LOT in Hatchetfield shows, and I did mention briefly here, that it could possibly be a play on the trope that in books and movies, the “creature comes alive” from a bolt of lightning.  Certainly the meteor is accompanied by a storm, which does make me believe that Hidgens was granted the vision by someone from the Black and White. Theories:

Pokey sent him the vision because he knew that it would entice Hidgens eventually due to his love of musical theatre. 

Webby sent him the vision in the misplaced hope that he would work on finding a solution

I also found a tweet by Nick which states that initially Hidgens was supposed to talk about the 1518 Dancing Plague which honestly – what does this mean.  Was this plague originally intended to be an early attempt by Pokey to infect the world?

Hidgens touched the brain. The blue brain.  The brain covered in goo.  Pokey’s blue goo.  I’m sure that’s fine and has no ramifications later in the show.  

I posted  a while back about the concept that Hidgens actually got infected early in the show, which has further implications for the likes of Charlotte also, but for now I’ll just post this really succinct theory by @westcoastbroadway​: x

Hatchetfield High Homework:

What other songs would feature on Now That’s What I Call Coffee?

Consider an AU where Prof Hidgens and Doc Brown are swapped.  How different would TGWDLM and Back to the Future be?

Once again, follow the wonderful people mentioned in the post.

See you in part 3 for Charlotte Theories and sad Bill time.

#the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #hatchetfield #hatchetfield theory #hatchetfield theories #starkid would totally do this #team starkid #return to hatchetfield town

[improvidence318]

i said screw it so here it is

howdy howdy, this is the anon with the 20’s lingo sheet. i don’t have a tumblr (though i wish i do tbh) and realized that i don’t know how to work shit on tumblr, so i’m just sending in the sheet through a text post. i am highly aware of the amount of power i’m bestowing upon you and honestly couldn’t give a damn

A

ab-so-lute-ly: affirmative all wet: incorrect And how!: I strongly agree! ankle: to walk, i.e.. “Let’s ankle!” apple sauce: flattery, nonsense, i.e.. “Aw, applesauce!” Attaboy!: well done!; also, Attagirl!

B

baby: sweetheart. Also denotes something of high value or respect. baby grand: heavily built man baby vamp: an attractive or popular female, student. balled up: confused, messed up. baloney: Nonsense! Bank’s closed.: no kissing or making out ie. “Sorry, mac, bank’s closed.” bearcat: a hot-blooded or fiery girl beat it: scram, get lost. beat one’s gums: idle chatter bee’s knee’s: terrific; a fad expression. Dozens of “animal anatomy” variations existed: elephant’s eyebrows, gnat’s whistle, eel’s hips, etc. beef: a complaint or to complain. beeswax: business, i.e. “None of your beeswax.” Student. bell bottom: a sailor bent: drunk berries: (1) perfect (2) money big cheese: important person big six: a strong man; from auto advertising, for the new and powerful six cylinder engines. bimbo: a tough guy bird: general term for a man or woman, sometimes meaning “odd,” i.e. “What a funny old bird.” blotto (1930 at the latest): drunk, especially to an extreme bootleg: illeagal liquor breezer (1925): a convertable car bug-eyed Betty (1927): an unattractive girl, student. bull: (1) a policeman or law-enforcement official, including FBI. (2) nonesense (3) to chat idly, to exaggerate bump off: to kill bum’s rush, the: ejection by force from an establishment bunny (1925): a term of endearment applied to the lost, confused, etc. Often coupled with “poor little.” bus: any old or worn out car.

C

cake-eater: a lady’s man caper: a criminal act or robbery. cat’s meow: great, also “cat’s pajamas” and “cat’s whiskers” cash: a kiss Cash or check?: Do we kiss now or later? cast a kitten: to have a fit. Used in both humorous and serious situations. i.e. “Stop tickling me or I’ll cast a kitten!” Also, “have kittens.” cheaters: eye glasses check: Kiss me later. chewing gum: double-speak, or ambiguous talk. choice bit of calico: attractive female, student. chopper: a Thompson Sub-Machine Gun, due to the damage its heavy .45 caliber rounds did to the human body.  chunk of lead: an unnattractive female, student. clam: a dollar coffin varnish: bootleg liquor, often poisonous. copacetic: excellent crasher: a person who attends a party uninvited crush: infatuation cuddler: one who likes to make out

D

daddy: a young woman’s boyfriend or lover, especially if he’s rich. daddy-o: a term of address dame: a female. Did not gain widespread use until the 1930’s. dapper: a Flapper’s dad darb: a great person or thing. “That movie was darb.” dead soldier: an empty beer bottle. deb: a debutant. dewdropper: a young man who sleeps all day and doesn’t have a job. dogs: feet doll: an attractive woman. dolled up: dressed up don’t know from nothing: doesn’t have any information don’t take any wooden nickels: don’t do anything stupid. doublecross: to cheat, stab in the back. dough: money drugstore cowboy: A well-dressed man who loiters in public areas trying to pick up women. dry up: shut up, get lost ducky: very good dumb Dora: an absolute idiot, a dumbbell, especially a woman; flapper.

E

earful: enough egg: a person who lives the big life

F

face stretcher: an old woman trying to look young fella: fellow. As common in its day as “man,” “dude,” or “guy” is today. “That John sure is a swell fella.” fire extinguisher: a chaperone fish: (1) a college freshman (2) a first timer in prison flat tire: a bore flivver: a Model T; after 1928, also could mean any broken down car. floorflusher: an insatiable dancer flour lover: a girl with too much face powder fly boy: a glamorous term for an aviator For crying out loud!: same usage as today four-flusher: a person who feigns wealth while mooching off others.

G

gams (1930): legs gatecrasher: see “crasher” get-up (1930): an outfit. get a wiggle on: get a move on, get going get in a lather: get worked up, angry giggle water: booze gimp: cripple; one who walks with a limp.  Gangster Dion O’Bannion was called Gimpy due to his noticeable limp. gin mill: a seller of hard liquor; a cheap speakeasy glad rags: “going out on the town” clothes go chase yourself: get lost, scram. gold-digger (1925): a woman who pursues men for their money. goods, the: (1) the right material, or a person who has it (2) the facts, the truth, i.e. “Make sure the cops don’t get the goods on you.” goof: (1) a stupid or bumbling person, (2) a boyfriend, flapper. goofy: in love grummy: depressed grungy: envious

H

handcuff: engagement ring hard-boiled: tough, as in, a tough guy, ie: “he sure is hard-boiled!” hayburner: (1) a gas guzzling car (2) a horse one loses money on heavy sugar (1929): a lot of money heebie-jeebies (1926): “the shakes,” named after a hit song. heeler: a poor dancer high hat: a snob. hip to the jive: cool, trendy hit on all sixes: to perform 100 per cent; as “hitting on all six cylinders”; perhaps a more common variation in these days of four cylinder engines was “hit on all fours”.  See “big six”. hood (late 20s): hoodlum hooey:  nonsense. Very popular from 1925 to 1930, used somewhat thereafter. hop: a teen party or dance Hot dawg!: Great!; also: “Hot socks!"  Rarely spelled as shown outside of flapper circles until popularized by 1940s comic strips. hot sketch: a card or cut-up

I

"I have to go see a man about a dog.”: “I’ve got to leave now,” often meaning to go buy whiskey. icy mitt: rejection insured: engaged iron (1925): a motorcycle, among motorcycle enthusiasts iron one’s shoelaces: to go to the restroom ish kabibble (1925): a retort meaning “I should care."  Was the name of a musician in the Kay Kayser Orchestra of the 1930s.

J

jack: money Jake: great, ie. "Everything’s Jake.” Jalopy: a dumpy old car Jane: any female java: coffee jeepers creepers: a term of exclamation jitney: a car employed as a private bus. Fare was usually five-cents; also called a “nickel.” joe: coffee Joe Brooks: a perfectly dressed person; student. john: a toilet joint: establishment juice joint: a speakeasy

K

kale: money keen: appealing killjoy: a solemn person knock up: to make pregnant know one’s onions: to know one’s business or what one is talking about

L

lay off: cut the crap left holding the bag: (1) to be cheated out of one’s fair share (2) to be blamed for something let George do it: a work evading phrase level with me: be honest limey: a British soldier or citizen, from World War I line: a false story, as in “to feed one a line.” live wire: a lively person lollapalooza (1930): a humdinger lollygagger: (1) a young man who enjoys making out (2) an idle person

M

manacle: wedding ring mazuma: money milquetoast (1924): a very timid person; from the comic book character Casper mind your potatoes: mind your own business. mooch: to leave moonshine: homemade whiskey mop: a handkerchief munitions: face powder

N

neck: to kiss passionately necker: a girl who wraps her arms around her boyfriend’s neck. nifty: great, excellent noodle juice: tea Not so good!: I personally disapprove. “Now you’re on the trolley!”: Now you’ve got it, now you’re right.

O

off one’s nuts: crazy Oh yeah!: I doubt it! old boy: a male term of address, used in conversation with other males. Denoted acceptance in a social environment.  Also “old man” “old fruit.” “How’s everything old boy?” Oliver Twist: a skilled dancer on a toot: a drinking binge on the lam: fleeing from police on the level: legitimate, honest on the up and up: on the level orchid: an expensive item ossified: drunk owl: a person who’s out late

P

palooka: (1) a below-average or average boxer (2) a social outsider, from the comic strip character Joe Palooka, who came from humble ethnic roots panic: to produce a big reaction from one’s audience percolate: (1) to boil over (2) As of 1925, to run smoothly; “perk” pet: necking, only more; making out petting pantry: movie theater piffle: baloney piker: (1) a cheapskate (2) a coward pill: (1) a teacher (2) an unlikable person pinch: to arrest. Pinched: to be arrested. pinko: liberal pipe down: stop talking prom-trotter: a student who attends all school social functions pos-i-lute-ly: affirmative, also “pos-i-tive-ly” punch the bag: small talk putting on the ritz: after the Ritz Hotel in Paris (and its namesake Caesar Ritz); doing something in high style. Also “ritzy.”

Q

R

rag-a-muffin: a dirty or disheveled individual rain pitchforks: a downpour razz: to make fun of Real McCoy: a genuine item regular: normal, typical, average; “Regular fella.” Reuben: an unsophisticated country bumpkin. Also “rube” Rhatz!: How disappointing! rub: a student dance party rubes: money or dollars rummy: a drunken bum

S

sap: a fool, an idiot. Very common term in the 20s. says you: a reaction of disbelief scratch: money screaming meemies: the shakes screw: get lost, get out, etc. Occasionally, in pre 1930 talkies (such as The Broadway Melody) screw is used to tell a character to leave. One film features the line “Go on, go on – screw!"  screwy: crazy; "You’re screwy!” sheba: one’s girlfriend sheik: one’s boyfriend simolean: a dollar sinker: a doughnut sitting pretty: in a prime position skirt: an attractive female smarty: a cute flapper smudger: a close dancer sockdollager: an action having a great impact so’s your old man: a reply of irritation speakeasy: a bar selling illeagal liquor spill: to talk spoon: to neck, or at least talk of love static: (1) empty talk (2) conflicting opinion stilts: legs struggle: modern dance stuck on: in love, student. sugar daddy: older boyfriend who showers girlfriend with gifts swanky: (1) good (2) elegant swell: (1) good (2) a high class person

T

take someone for a ride: to take someone to a deserted location and murder them. tasty: appealing teenager: not a common term until 1930; before then, the term was “young adults.” tell it to Sweeney: tell it to someone who’ll believe it. tight: attractive Tin Pan Alley: the music industry in New York, located between 48th and 52nd Streets tomato: a “ripe” female torpedo: a hired thug or hitman

U

unreal: special upchuck: to vomit upstage: snobby

V

vamp: (1) a seducer of men, an aggressive flirt (2) to seduce voot: money

W

water-proof: a face that doesn’t require make-up wet blanket: see Killjoy wife: dorm roomate, student. What’s eating you?: What’s wrong? whoopee: wild fun Woof! Woof!: ridicule

X

Y

You slay me!: That’s funny!

Z

zozzled: drunk

  have fun.

#it's the 20s slang list #thanks dude #submission

[batmanego]

Do you have any comic book recs that are short? Like one-shots or mini series?

YESSSSSSS!!!! so many!!!

here’s a list of some personal favorite mini/maxi series of mine (with links!)

MINI-SERIES:

dark knights: death metal robin king (1 issue)

background knowledge required: middling. this takes place in the death metal storyline, so it’s nice to know what’s going on. but honestly, robin king’s story operates on its own pretty well as a glimpse into bruce waynes that could have been (and are!). i love robin king i think he’s adorable. tw for gore though.

nubia: real one (graphic novel)

background knowledge required: none. nubia’s backstory and connection to wondy is given and explained. HEAVY tw for police brutality, racism, school shootings, sexual harassment and the like. nubia: real one is written by a black woman and as such handles the topics fairly well, but it can still be upsetting.

year one: batman/scarecrow (2 issues)

background knowledge required: none! dive right in. gives us jon’s backstory and, provided you know who batman is, you get the gist real quick. great read, great art, great time.

timber wolf (5 issues)

background knowledge required: not much! this was my first brin comic. easy and quick. features one of lobo’s bastard sons, thrust! funny antics ensue. good story, good characters, some wacky coloring mistakes.

event leviathan (6 issues)

background knowledge required: some. you should probably know who the characters are, but other than that, it’s pretty easy. not a huge fan of b and jason’s characterizations here, but plas is in it (huge thumbs up) and he’s very weirdly homoerotic with the question.

plastic man 2018 (6 issues)

background knowledge required: none! jump right in! you see eel’s backstory, the villains are self explanatory, it’s a great characterization and a great read. has a canon trans character (two, if you count eel!) and is wonderfully written.

collapser (6 issues)

background knowledge required: absolutely none. this is a free floating comic. fun art, fun characters, fun story.

eternity girl (6 issues)

background knowledge required: like collapser, absolutely none. this series stands alone. heavy tw for suicide and self harm. it’s a heavy story but it’s really amazing. definitely worth a read.

MAXI-SERIES

black canary 2015 (12 issues)

gonna be honest, been too long for me to remember much about this comic, but the art is fuckin gorgeous.

metal men 2019 (12 issues)

background knowledge required: not too much. happens during death metal, so there’s alternate universe shenanigans. overall, just a fun read if you wanna watch a very sad scientist get even sadder.

doom patrol 2016 (12 issues)

background knowledge required: sssssome, but it’s nowhere near necessary. you can get a handle on the characters pretty quick, even if i would recommend reading morrison patrol first. fun read, fun characters, fun ending. followed by doom patrol: weight of the worlds, a 7 issue series of one-shots focusing on alternate universe versions of the doom patrol.

shade the changing girl (12 issues)

background knowledge required: some, but it’s not necessary. basically, she’s the successor to shade the changing man, but you get the gist of her whole deal pretty quickly, and reading his comics isn’t essential. he does appear in this series and his characterization isn’t... great.... but. if you’re just reading for loma, go for it. followed by shade the changing woman (6 issues).

dc/young animal: milk wars (graphic novel)

background knowledge required: read doom patrol 2016, shade the changing girl, aaaaand probably eternity girl first. the rest is pretty self explanatory and honestly if you wanna jump right in and see batman as a priest, i don’t blame you. it’s cool and really fucking weird. but it’s super fun! you should read milk wars!

hope this helped you find something good to read!!! much love

#dc #long post #I love comics!!!! #comic recommendations

[toxicsamruby]

1/7 MM okay gotcha gotcha. I was thinking about this on a smaller scale, where i don't think discussing racism in supernatural should be "fun and interesting" (phrase you used in your original post that rubbed me the wrong way b/c [hot take] I don't think racist tropes reminiscent of the Birth of a Nation and the policing of poor black communities are fun and interesting. they're horrible. but, like you said, we shouldn't shy away from horrible things), but no yeah i get what you're saying about

2/7 people showing the same enthusiasm, willing participation, and depth when talking about this stuff as w/gender&sexuality. I agree with that AND it's important to keep in mind, especially with a fanbase that's largely white, whom these analyses are for and who is writing them (b/c a white person's racial reading isn't the same as a bipoc's). But, again, that's on the smaller scale, which appears to have more to do with personal accountability and discussion norms.

3/7 AND i also get what you're saying about using the entirety of supernatural to examine "american attitudes about the Other" and how that needs to be broken down in ethnic/racial/culture identities just as it is with queer indentities and yes i agree. as for the marketing/monetary engagement thing, i may have been speaking out of turn there because i don't know a ton about marketing or audience appeal and i also wasn't invested in all the spn meta/BTS stuff until recently.

4/7 what I said was purely my observations of the very specific 'spn renaissance' tumblr circle, which appeared different from the, say, twitter circles that pay for merch and whatnot (again, this may not be accurate, it's just from what i've seen). HOWEVER, that being said, if we're speaking specifically about the long-term, /larger/ cultural impact supernatural has, I 100% agree that it needs to be recognized and condemned as a racist and all-around patriarchal show. I did forget that spn made

5/7 so many headlines about both queerbaiting and having a queer character or whatever, and the same headlines need to be made about how it treats bipoc and other minorities. Although supernatural is a mess and considered cringey and a dead horse, it still holds a significant amount of power and (at least some) reputability in media. and this is all despite its misogyny and homophobia and cisheteronormativity (this is the case for so many shows, not just spn). I guess i was just concerned about

6/7 'ok, what if mainstream starts having these conversations about racism very specifically in a way that normalizes it and makes it seem hatecrime-but we'll-allow-it,' so now we have this monster of a show that KNOWS it's racist but doesn't really care. But it's equally as terrible to not point it out. But it doesn't matter anyways, because the show is over now, and it's not like they're gonna give reparations to the actors they killed and the people they hurt. your point about us having these

7/7 conversations (in a way that does not make it seem like like fun ideas to ponder over) being the only thing we CAN do to lessen the power the White Narrative of Supernatural (both meta and in-text) really resonates, and i hadn't thought of that but i totally agree. in other words lmao, fuck this show

yeah “fun” might’ve been the wrong word choice for all the reasons u gave i really didn’t mean to trivialize racism as a discussion and i see what u mean especially w how people have responded to the homophobia of supernatural me included like saying oh its homophobic but its funny so it’s fine and ur absolutely right that we Cant allow the discussion of race to go the same way (and honestly ur intuition was right bc in the tags of that post theres white people saying we SHOULD take it as lightly as the homophobia). so yeah the phrasing was my bad

but my general point stands. like i personally find it really fulfilling and interesting to talk abt how supernatural (and other fiction) replicates these american ideas about the Other bc supernatural is a FASCINATING microcosm of american culture (and of course in part bc i Am an american other)! and that post was mostly in response to how white fans seem to shy away from these extremely complex and interesting conversations bc they consider discussion of racism a chore like something they Have to do so they can say “it was bad that they killed off kevin tran. see i engaged critically! now back to the meta that relates to Me and My experiences”

and of course the analysis that becomes generally accepted and talked abt by fans shapes the actual presence of the show in pop culture. so we should do our best to write good and thoughtful and compassionate analysis of EVERY aspect of the text, especially one so deeply embedded as the race element.

basically yeah ur right and i think we pretty much agree. fuck this show! thank you for sending me these messages by the way im glad we could talk this out :)

#i think this might actually be the most productive conversation ive ever had abt a piece of fiction lmfao #asks #crit

[minsugapie]

Make Me: part 4 (1897 words) - apartment 702

• • • • • •

After you find out the apartment building you want to move into doesn’t allow singles, you meet Jin, a man in the same predicament as you. 

You never knew that being fake engaged to somebody would simultaneously make your life so much easier and that much harder. 

And like all fake dating stories, shit hits the fan when one of you starts to catch feelings. 

• • • • • •

PREV // 4 // NEXT

masterlist 

• • • • • •

Tags :

@zxlla @rjsmochii @nmjcn @tan-dulset @fantasia-minhyuk @ephyra1230 @atinymaiden @its-yagirl-raelynn @uxwi @imynnow @lowlifeoeuvre @hannahdinse8 @samros95 @daegufeels @yoongisabby​ @dreamcatcherjiah​ @echointhelibrary​ @live-2-fangirl @jinsearth​

• • • • • •

You were kind of nervous, if you were being honest with yourself. Jin was going to meet you at the shop and then the two of you would walk over to the apartment together with Bambi. Today was finally the meeting with the landlord to sign your half of the contract. You were still wondering how Jin was able to sign his half of the contract early, but you weren’t going to pry. Maybe you’d find out later anyways. 

You thought it was unlike yourself to jump into something the way that you were jumping into this, but you were desperate to leave Yoongi and Moonbyul alone. You were sure that they’d never kick you out, but you didn’t really want to impose on them and their relationship. They’d never get any alone time. 

There was barely anyone in the shop as you waited for Jin to meet you here —only Yoongi dealing with a single customer behind the counter. 

Looking down at your left hand that you were using to pet Bambi, you observed the small gold band you’d found to put on your ring finger. It wasn’t much, but it was all you could find in the short notice to make you seem engaged. It was convincing enough, you thought; however, you can’t help but know that it’s not what you’d actually want as an engagement ring. You didn’t want something huge, but you wanted at least a diamond. 

“What time is he supposed to be here again?” Yoongi asked from behind the counter, breaking you out of your impractical fantasies. The bell of the shop rang as the customer he was just helping exited. 

“He should be here any minute, I guess. I’m just nervous, you know,” you admitted, scratching under Bambi’s collar. It was his favourite spot. He leaned into you, almost collapsing onto the floor. Hobi left him here this morning because he knew that the landlord would want to meet Bambi when signing the agreement. 

“Hopefully by the end of the day you’ll be a new leaser, right? And you won’t have to live on my couch for a month…” He said the last bit under his breath, but you knew that it was all in good fun. It wasn’t that you would have wanted to live on his and Byul’s couch, but that was certainly better than behind the counter of the shop. 

The door bell chimed again; this time a man in a police uniform came into view. You didn’t want to smile, but you couldn’t help it. He had a goofy look on his face when he saw you, and it only became more funny as he walked to where you and Bambi were waiting for him. In a second, he got down on one knee. 

He hadn’t even said hello yet. 

“Y/N, I just knew that you probably didn’t have a ring, so I have this one for you to wear,” he said seriously, picking up your left hand. 

You gaped at him, barely noticing the surprised expression on his face when he saw the gold and already there. He shook his head and feigned hurt, “Ouch, babe, you already got one?”

But he still took it off and slipped on a beautiful diamond ring. If you weren’t gaping before, you definitely were now. “Jin! What is this?! Get up!” You grabbed his arm and led him back onto his feet. 

“What?” He smiled, making eye-contact with Yoongi behind the counter. He’d seen the exchange and was silently laughing at the situation in front of him. 

“This…you…no…I can’t…” you trailed off, not knowing what to say. That was too expensive for you to wear around when you weren’t even together!

“Relax,” he drawled, taking your hand and opening the palm before placing the gold band into it. “It used to belong to someone but she no longer wants it. Plus, if you’re going to be my fiancee, you have to at least look the part! I would never settle for a gold band…I mean unless she hated diamonds but that doesn’t even matter I guess, so I don’t know why I’m talking about it again. Uhh, but yeah, it’s not important. Just wear it.”

You didn’t ask any questions, smiling at his nervous rant, but you heard deep sadness in his voice around all the joking.

Bambi whined at your feet, wanting attention again. Jin was the first to come to him and picked him up from he ground. He was in his element. For some reason, Bambi loved men, and you knew right now that he was a fan on Jin. He licked his neck a few times and couldn’t stop wagging his tail. You really couldn’t help but smile. 

“Are you ready to go?” He asked, putting Bambi back into the floor, locating his leash hanging on a hook beside the door. Walking over to grab it, he bent down and hooked it onto Bambi’s collar. When you didn’t answer right away, he looked up at you expectantly. 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Are you going to change?” You asked. He was still in his uniform after all. 

“I have to get back to work right after.”

You nodded, it made sense…but… “What if she thinks it’s unprofessional?”

Jin thought about it for a second and then shook his head. “Nah, she’s not too bad.”

You deadpanned. “Her unwritten apartment rules are low-key illegal, I think, and you think she’s chill? I mean fine. It’s your call.” You threw in a small laugh, trying to hide your anxiety.

Looking back at Yoongi, you called, “Okay, we’re leaving! I’ll be back soon!”

Yoongi waved you off like he couldn't care less. “Yeah, yeah I got it covered here. Go!”

You looked at Jin, who seemed to be happily walking Bambi. “So do you think we’ll be convincing enough?” You asked, falling into step beside him. 

“Sure? Why wouldn’t we be?” He asked, grabbing your hand. Before you could ask why, he continued. “We need to b comfortable touching each other, Y/N. That’s what couples do. I will hold your hand at the meeting, so I want it to feel like we’d at least done it once before.”

“Oh, okay,” you answered, linking your fingers with his. It felt nice, actually. You hadn’t bothered to date recently, just because you didn’t find anyone to be that interesting. But this felt good. Human contact was nice. 

“Are you okay with this?” He asked, stopping once the apartment building came into view. 

“It’s a little late, don’t you think?” You joked, nudging your shoulder with his. 

“Then don’t freak out, but I’m going to kiss you right now. We need to get it over it.” His eyes didn’t meet yours. Instead, he looked at your lips. 

What?

He kissed you as soon as he said he was going to, not really giving you a chance to think. It seemed like he pulled away as soon as he started, however. 

“You call that a kiss?” You joked, tilting your head to the side. 

“What?” He laughed, pulling further away. He was blushing, and you thought it was adorable. 

“Don’t freak out, but I’m going to kiss you right now,” you used his own words against him. You kissed him a little more forcefully than he had, not worrying about being gentle. You realized that you’d wanted to kiss him. You held onto his neck as you nudged him. You could tell he was hesitant to kiss you deeper, but you were satisfied when he finally did. 

But he still cut it off by pushing your shoulders back. “Are you ready to go in?”

You pretended to not feel a little hurt, but the feeling vanished once he smiled brightly at you. “I guess…”

“It’s not you, Y/N. I promise. You’ll find out in a few minutes whether I want you to or not,” he revealed, pulling you into the office where you were meeting the landlord.

“What do you m—” You tried to ask but were cut off by the landlord herself. 

“Are you two ready to come in?” She seemed nice enough, but you knew that was probably an act considering her strict rules for tenants. “Cute dog,” she added as she was walking back to her chair. 

“His name is Bambi,” you revealed sitting in one of the two chairs opposite her desk. Jin took the seat to your left and naturally took your hand in his. He pulled in onto his lap. Bambi jumped onto yours, settling into you like he did every night after work. 

“So Jin, this is your fiancée?” She asked, eyeing you. “Did you like your wedding present?”

“I’m so pleased,” you answered, putting a few pieces of the puzzle together. Clearly, Jin was supposed to move into here with is fiancee, but she was nowhere to be found. Also, your guess was that the ring was hers. It almost made you a little sick to be wearing another woman’s ring. The only consolation was that it wasn’t like you two were actually engaged. 

“If you two don’t mind, I’ll just run over the agreement with you and then we can sign and I’ll show you your apartment!” 

You nodded, petting Bambi as you tried to settle your nerves. It was kind of boring, but you took it all in. You still couldn’t believe this was all happening. When she was finished, you quickly signed your name on the dotted line, and you were headed to the assigned apartment.

Jin held the door open for the both of you and then quietly grabbed your hand again. It calmed you, having his hand in yours, and you wondered if he felt the same, considering he rarely let it go. 

“You two will have apartment 702. So we’ll just head to the elevator…”

You looked at Jin, who was tapping his feet to the elevator music and then to the landlord, who had an almost pleasant smile on her face.

In a second, you were outside the door to the apartment, and she was handing Jin the key. He opened the door for you and you walked inside, amazed at the place. It wasn’t furnished, but the hardwood floors were beautiful and the kitchen was huge. “It’s perfect,” you whispered before leaning  down to Bambi and telling him, “This is your new home, Bud!”

You smiled up and Jin and then the landlord before handing her your phone. “Do you mind taking a picture of the three of us?”

“Oh! Of course!” She said, taking the phone from your hands. You walked back to Jin and put your arms around his waist. He looked down at you and then at the camera with a smile. 

“If you could take a few, that would be perfect,” Jin added, kissing your cheek before turning you to kiss your lips. 

“Ok, I got them! I should get back to work though, so…have fun you two,” she said, giving you back your phone and then closing the door behind her with a wink. 

Once the door was closed, you looked back at Jin with a big smile on your face and then raced to look inside the bedrooms. Oh yes, you would be happy here. 

• • • • • •

YIKES i’m sorry. i think i say that a lot...but i really mean it. i hope to update regularly now but i’m still working on dealing with some personal problems so please bare with me :( 

on a more positive note, is anyone else excited for school to start up again? or just me? all my courses at uni are online which sucks but i fr fr love school so lol

#bts jin #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts #make me sm au #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts fanfiction #bts social au #bts social media au #jin au #bts au #bts fake texts #bts fake chat #bts x reader #bts x you #jin fake texts #jin social media au #jin fanfic #jin imagine #jin fake chat #jin scenario #jin social au #jin x you #jin x reader #jin fanfiction #jin sm au #bts sm au #jin fluff #bts fluff

[erizee]

im still rewatching gotham bc its a great distraction from studying and if 17 year-old me was right about anything its that its Fun

but also. what the Fuck were the writers thinking sometimes lmaooo im not even going to list it all because thats too much work, these r just some Thoughts

please dont ask why im watching it if this bothers me this much, i dont have a good explanation. its just Fun to watch fucked up people do fucked up shit i guess. nothing makes sense ever and theres soo much shit to dissect & so many characters to follow. yea that probably explains it

also this embarassing. i do not want to have these many thoughts about this show again.

1. police brutality as a ~quirky feature of this whacky city~. im Pretty sure that never really stops but im only halfway through s1 rn and its a Very big thing there. im not even going to talk about this much more because im not nearly close to being an expert on it & i dont have as much of a clear analysis of it, its just fucked up tbh how they treat such a major issue in real life like a fictional thing that makes their fake city more ~spicy~

2. the way they talk about/use mental health & neurodivergency

Fuck lmao this bothers me so much more now than 4 years ago. in general its a whole mess & a lot of it is probably based on comic stuff eg arkham, but they really portray anyone in there as a child huh. its So disrespectful and gross

at some point they basically only have villains from arkham, which i know is also at least somewhat comic-based but that doesnt rly make it better? great villainization of neurodivergent people guys (& why tf did they send oswald to arkham??? theres literally no reason for that one)

dont even let me get started on ed. LITERALLY Thee worst portrayal of neurodivergency/mental illness ive EVER seen lmaoo. in s1 hes soo autistic coded its almost funny if it wasnt 90% based on bad stereotypes, he literally checks All the boxes. and then he randomly gets the fake fictional shock value version of DID?? i feel like that was the only thing the writers could think of that made sense why he'd ever kill people lol and its a) So lazy and b) Extremely bad for how DID is seen by people. i dont know how DID works exactly so i cant say anything abt if the way it started/his switching was at least somewhat accurate, but its just this typical "evil dangerous neurodivergent dude cant control himself/is just evil to his core because his ~mind is fucked up~" and its so frustrating. Yes hes one of my favourite characters still. Yes i still relate to him way too much. Yes the way hes written is Extremely harmful. those things can all be true

3. queerbaiting. only developed a ship because it was popular with the fans, then make them fight each other for the rest of the show, then have them be ~brothers~ at the end when ratings drop. typical And annoying.

4. this is less of a Real World Issue and more bad storytelling but plot & character consistency are practically nonexistant in this show lmao. this has been run to the ground years ago but its still so weird. the main thing is again ed for me since he was my favourite, but they really changed his entire personality whenever it was practical for the "plot". i could barely recognise him in s3 until i got used to it lmao he was sooo different. u Could make an argument for the riddler vs the ed personality but again thats bad rehashing of harmful stereotypes & Also doesnt fix anything tbh. the only thing that was actually consistent (if im not forgetting sth) was oswald's character i think? he became less gross over time but that was all as far as i can remember. sneaky, manipulative, too emotional, loses everything because of either his mom or ed aka what he loves. he became less smart somehow after s1 which is weird but i guess s1 him would have taken over the country if they hadnt nerfed him. i honestly cant remember anyone else because last time after ca the middle of s2 i stopped paying attention to anything that wasnt ed or oswald but yea it was a whole mess

#gotham #whyyyyyy #i dont want to be thinking abt this #why does it take me so long to find sth to talk about for good shows but im endlessly entertained by bad ones. #i hate it. #god this show is a mess but its truly so easy to hyperfixate on #its perfect for distracting me from study anxiety

[antiadvil]

i AIM 2 b w/ u

summary: Dan’s life is a little bit of a mess. He met his only friend through a chat website, and Dan doesn’t even know what he looks like. The only person he’s ever come out to is said friend. He’s wasting his gap year away.

But hey, at least there’s that cute boy he met at London Pride.

rating: PG13

wc: 4k

notes: for the @phandomreversebang! lovely art created by @anironsidh and betaing provided by @quackitity (also stay tuned for @judearaya‘s version which i betaed and is very good)

read on ao3 or under the cut

Dan glanced at the time. He had a few minutes to kill before he had to catch his train to London Pride, he decided, so he logged into his laptop and opened AIM.

His heart skipped a beat. His best (and only, if he was being honest) friend was online. He sent him a message.

danisnotonfire: hey

amazingphil: hi!!!

He and Amazingphil had met in a chat room about five months ago. They bonded a bit over their sexualities, and then Dan sent him a PM about Muse, and then here they were, still messaging almost every day since.

amazingphil: what r u doing?

danisnotonfire: im never doing anything

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes u r >.<

amazingphil: guess what im doing

danisnotonfire: what

amazingphil: guess >:(

danisnotonfire: no >:)

amazingphil: pls

danisnotonfire: hmm

danisnotonfire: maybe

amazingphil: hurry up

danisnotonfire: wait im thinking of a good one

danisnotonfire: ok

danisnotonfire: ur running away from the police bc u stole the crown jewels

amazingphil: no u spork

amazingphil: im picking out an outfit

danisnotonfire: an outfit? :0

danisnotonfire: u wear clothes?

amazingphil: i hate u

amazingphil: i have Plans today

Dan glanced at the clock. He had to leave soon for his own plans, but he still felt a tiny bit jealous.

danisnotonfire: you have Plans?

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: what r u doing?

Dan checked the time again. He frowned. He had to leave now if he wanted to make his train.

danisnotonfire: getting ready to take a train

danisnotonfire: g2g actually sry

danisnotonfire: c u?

He didn’t wait to see amazingphil’s response before he closed his laptop and bolted for the door.

The train ride to London was nerve wracking but uneventful. Dan had never travelled so far on his own before, and his mother’s warnings rang in his head. As tempted as he was to pull out his phone and pretend to be busy, he kept himself alert, his phone safely stowed in his pocket and his backpack clutched in his lap.

His mother didn’t know where he was going. No one knew where he was going. It was a little bit scary, but also exhilarating. He could do anything; he could be anyone, as long as he was on the 8pm train home.

When his train pulled into the station, it was easy to follow the crowd of people in rainbow apparel to the parade site. Dan’s train had arrived a tiny bit late, and it looked like the parade had already started.

The street was crowded, but Dan wriggled and elbowed his way to the front of the crowd, where he had a decent view of his first ever Pride parade. He found himself sandwiched between two girls holding hands and a dark haired boy who looked about Dan’s age.

“Hey,” Dan found himself shouting to the boy next to him.

The boy glanced over, flicking dark hair out of his eyes. “Hey,” he shouted back. “What brings you here?”

“I’m gay,” Dan shouted. He laughed. It was so exhilarating to say out loud that he said it again. “I’m gay!”

The boy laughed. “Me too,” he said. “What a coincidence.”

“What’s your name?” Dan asked.

“Phil,” the boy replied. “You?”

“Dan,” he said back.

“Well, Dan, is this your first pride?”

Dan nodded. “What about you?”

Phil shook his head. “This is my third.”

“Wow,” Dan said.

Phil laughed. “It’s not that many. I’m sure there are some people here who have been to every single one.” He nodded toward a group of older men riding on a passing float.

Dan tried to wrap his mind around the fact that there had been fewer than forty London Prides. That everything around him was new and fragile and still in its infancy. “That’s crazy,” he said. “That that’s even possible, I mean.”

Phil nodded emphatically. “I know, right? If I had been born just fifty years earlier…” He shuddered.

“It’s not like it’s that great to be gay right now either,” Dan admitted.

“No,” Phil admitted. He looked down.

They were silent for a few moments.

“Sorry,” Dan said, clearing his throat. “I kinda killed the mood there, didn’t I?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Phil said. He shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the plastic rainbow flag in his hands. “Does your family know you’re here?” he added softly.

Dan shook his head, eyes welling with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” Phil said in a rush, “That was such a personal question, I don’t know why I-”

“It’s okay,” Dan said softly.

Phil hovered awkwardly just at the edge of Dan’s personal space. “Um, do you want a hug or-”

“Yes,” Dan said, immediately crushing himself into Phil’s arms and squeezing his eyes shut.

He resolutely ignored the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Shh,” Phil said, holding him tighter. “It’s going to be okay.”

Dan didn’t know why he believed everything this beautiful stranger said, but he did.

It was going to be okay. Dan let that message sink into his body, settle in his stomach, until his limbs felt less shaky and his footing more solid. He pulled away from Phil, wiping his eyes.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t know what that was.”

“It’s okay,” Phil said. “It’s your first Pride; it’s overwhelming. Are you from nearby?”

“I’m from near Reading,” Dan said.

Phil whistled. “That’s pretty far.”

Dan shrugged. “No one will recognize me here.”

Phil nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Dan shrugged again. “It’s okay.”

“Well, I hope you have a good time. It’s a lot of fun.”

Dan looked around at everyone wearing various different pride flags, all of the floats covered in rainbow. “I think I will.”

Dan and Phil stayed together for the rest of the parade, bumping shoulders and pointing out people with particularly funny signs. When the last float passed, though, Dan realized he didn’t want to break apart.

He turned to Phil to say so, but before he could open his mouth, Phil interrupted him, looking nervous. “Actually, um, if you don’t have anywhere to be yet, I thought we could hang out for a bit? Get coffee or something?”

Dan had left a few hours after Pride for exploring London, maybe even looking at some colleges so what he told his mum wasn’t a complete lie, but he’d rather spend them with Phil. “I’d love coffee,” he said.

Phil brightened. “There’s a Starbucks really close by. If you like Starbucks?”

“I love Starbucks,” Dan said. He loved anywhere Phil wanted to drink coffee together.

“Perfect,” Phil said, already walking, presumably towards the Starbucks. “My treat.”

“Oh, you don’t have to-” Dan scrambled to keep up.

“Please,” Phil said, smiling. “It’s the least I can do.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “In exchange for what?”

“You travelled all the way to London to see me,” Phil smiled.

Dan rolled his eyes even harder. “It wasn’t to see you, dummy-”

Phil gasped in mock betrayal. “It wasn’t?”

“No,” Dan said, “It was to learn and grow as a person, to find myself, to-”

“Shut up,” Phil said, giggling. “Just let me buy you coffee.”

“Fine,” Dan said, pouting.

“Perfect,” Phil said, leading Dan into a Starbucks, “Now come on.”

Dan’s coffee was delicious, but he let it cool in his hands as their conversation went on. He and Phil had a lot in common, and their conversation flowed easily. They both followed a lot of the same online creators, they had similar taste in music, and they had similar senses of humor. They even had nearly matching hairstyles, Phil pointed out with a laugh.

“It’s a cool hairstyle,” Dan said defensively. Phil didn’t need to know that the only way Dan could make it look even slightly good was by straightening it every morning.

“Of course it is,” Phil said. “It’s mine.”

Dan rolled his eyes and lightly shoved Phil.

When Dan finally finished his coffee, he looked at it regretfully. “I guess I should get going.”

Phil hesitated. “I don’t know if you want to go back to my apartment or anything?”

Dan nodded, then looked at his watch. It was getting dark out. “Fuck. I can’t. My train.”

Phil’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Oh. Well, can I walk you to your train at least?”

Dan smiled. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

It was lucky that Phil had offered to walk him, honestly, because Dan was completely turned around. London was one of the most confusing cities he’d ever been in, but Phil seemed to know his way around it like the back of his hand.

“Here you go,” he said, pointing out the train station Dan had arrived at earlier in the day. He shoved his hands in his pockets, staring at Dan with an intensity that made him blush. “I don’t want to go,” he admitted.

Phil drew closer, and Dan glanced around nervously. There were a few people around. No one seemed to be paying much attention, but that could change.

Fuck it, Dan decided. It was Pride. If there was ever a day for kissing cute boys in public, it was today. As Phil leaned in closer, Dan closed the gap and pressed their lips together.

It was sweet, shorter than Dan would have liked, but as Phil pulled away Dan noticed a man standing at the other end of the street, glaring. Dan could see Phil looking too.

“How about I just stick with you until your train comes?” Phil said lightly, but Dan could see his eyes still on the man on the other end of the street, who made eye contact for another second before finally turning away.

Dan felt the tension in his shoulders unwind just the slightest bit. “That’d be great,” he said.

Phil hovered protectively by Dan’s side for the next few minutes until his train came. Dan wouldn’t be much good in a fight, and he didn’t get the sense that Phil would be either, but his presence was reassuring. When it was time to say goodbye, Phil opted for a hug.

Dan sank into his arms gratefully. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Phil whispered back.

“Stay safe,” Dan whispered.

“I will,” Phil promised, pulling back. “See you?”

“Yeah,” Dan said. “I hope so.”

Barely a minute after Dan boarded his train, his phone buzzed.

phil: did u make it?

Dan smiled.

dan: yes

dan: ty 4 coffee btw, it was good

phil: :)

phil: b safe

dan: u 2

He waited a bit with his phone out, wondering if Phil would say anything more, but he didn’t, so Dan closed his phone and put it away. He let his head fall back against his seat and turned to look out the window, watching London pass by until it was left firmly behind him.

***

The first thing Dan did when he got back home was check AIM. Almost as soon as he logged in, he got a message.

amazingphil: ur back!

amazingphil: where were u :0

Dan hesitated. He didn’t know why he felt like lying.

danisnotonfire: i have a life that isnt online u kno

amazingphil: D:

amazingphil: betrayal

Dan didn’t talk much about his offline life with Amazingphil. He knew the basics: Dan was gay, no one knew, everyone still managed to give him shit for it somehow. But he didn’t know where Dan lived, his little brother’s name, or that he had traveled to London today for Pride.

And if he said something about Pride, then he’d be asked how it went. And then he’d have to talk about Phil. And he didn’t want to talk about Phil for some reason.

danisnotonfire: u have a life offline too

danisnotonfire: remember u said u had plans 2day?

amazingphil: :0

amazingphil: i guess i did

danisnotonfire: howd they go?

amazingphil: good :3

danisnotonfire: is that all ur gonna say

amazingphil: yes :P

amazingphil: i need 2 have mystery or ull lose interest

danisnotonfire: :0

danisnotonfire: i would never

amazingphil: good

danisnotonfire: now tell me

amazingphil: no

danisnotonfire: ಠ_ಠ

amazingphil: :D

amazingphil: it wasnt really interesting anyway lolol

amazingphil: i dont wanna bore u

danisnotonfire: impossible

danisnotonfire: u could never bore me D:

amazingphil: i could

amazingphil: law

amazingphil: textbooks

amazingphil: school

amazingphil: math

amazingphil: r u asleep yet

danisnotonfire: (-_-)zzz

amazingphil: c? told u

danisnotonfire: ok ok

danisnotonfire: u win

Dan still wanted to know what Amazingphil had been up to, but Amazingphil didn’t seem like he wanted to tell, so Dan decided to let it drop. He started to type up a question about whether or not Amazingphil had seen a video uploaded by a YouTuber they both followed, but he was interrupted.

amazingphil: im kinda tired actually

amazingphil: i think im going to bed

Dan’s smile dropped. He had been looking forward to talking to Amazingphil.

danisnotonfire: :(

danisnotonfire: good night!

amazingphil: good night!

He went offline. Dan stayed online for a bit longer, but no one else was really there, and none of the chat rooms he normally joined were interesting that night. Eventually, he gave up. He went to bed early too.

***

He woke up the next morning to a string of texts from Phil. He smiled, grabbing his phone and rolling over to read through them.

phil: hey i have some free time this wknd

phil: i could visit maybe?

phil: if ur free 2

Dan smiled harder.

dan: im free :]

dan: idk why u want 2 visit tho theres nothing here

phil: theres u

Dan had to put his phone down for a second to make sure his face did not actually combust from how hot it was getting.

dan: thatd be nice :3 i miss u

phil: lol, we saw each other yesterday

phil: (i miss u 2 :3)

dan: call me? :3

Dan’s phone started ringing immediately. He picked up. “Why would you want to visit Wokingham?” he asked. “London is way cooler.”

“But you’re not in London,” Phil said.

“I can be,” Dan said, his mind already racing to find excuses for visiting again so soon. “I could say-”

“Dan,” Phil cut him off with a laugh. “I want to visit you. Calm down.”

Dan hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Dan,” Phil said. “Why? Are you?”

Dan hesitated. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you again; I really do. But I mean, there are so many people here who know me and I’m not really out. To anyone. Except you.” And someone online, he added silently in his head.

“That’s okay,” Phil said. “We don’t have to- do anything gay if you don’t want to.” He paused. “At least not in public,” he added hopefully.

Dan chewed on his lip. “Even if my parents were out of the house, my little brother is really nosy. Sorry, I don’t think we’d be able to go there.”

“That’s okay,” Phil said, even though Dan thought he still sounded a little bit disappointed. “I’d still like to visit you. I don’t want to make you come to London every time we want to see each other.”

Butterflies erupted in Dan’s stomach. Every time? This wasn’t a one off thing?

“That’s sweet,” he said. “But really, London seems better in pretty much-”

“Awesome,” Phil said. “What time can you pick me up from the train station this Saturday?”

***

Dan opened AIM again, halfheartedly hoping that Amazingphil had come online in the five minutes he’d had AIM closed. He hadn’t, so Dan sighed, closing it again. He checked his twitter for another five minutes, then opened AIM again.

Amazingphil’s away message wasn’t even descriptive: “How much pain has cracked your soul? How much love would make you whole?” Just a Muse lyric. If it meant something, Dan wasn’t going to bother trying to decipher it.

Dan closed AIM again. He opened twitter. He closed twitter, and opened AIM. He repeated the cycle until it was time to pick Phil up at the train station.

Luckily, his mum didn’t ask why he needed the car, just absentmindedly handed him the keys and told him to drive safely. He parked near the train station, hoping he wouldn’t forget where he left the car.

“So this is Wokingham!” Phil said when he got off his train.

Dan nodded. “This is Wokingham.” Phil was disturbingly excited to be in Dan’s town. Dan wasn’t sure why, it was nothing compared to London.

Phil jumped up and down, smiling. Dan couldn’t help but smile back.

“So,” Phil said. “Show me the sights! Hear me the sounds! What is there to do around here?”

Dan shrugged. “Uh, I don’t really go out a lot. But there’s this coffee place I go to a lot if you don’t mind more coffee?”

Phil narrowed his eyes. “Is it Starbucks?”

Dan laughed. “Starbucks? You wish. Phil, I am going to take you to the indiest, least mainstream coffeeshop you have ever been to.”

Phil blinked. “Low bar, if I’m being honest.”

“After this, you’ll never be able to go to a Starbucks again without being disappointed.”

Phil raised an eyebrow. “Tall order.” He giggled. “Get it? Tall order? Because Starbucks drinks are-”

Dan rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help giggling either. “Shut up.”

Phil’s tongue poked out when he laughed, Dan noticed. “Never. I will not be silenced.”

Dan shook his head. “Disappointing.”

Phil pouted.

Dan relented. “It was a little bit funny.”

Phil immediately perked up. “You think I’m funny?”

Dan rolled his eyes so hard they hurt.

Phil giggled.

“Shut up,” Dan said. “Let’s go.”

When they got to the coffee shop, Phil spent an obnoxious amount of time reading the menu.

“It’s just coffee,” Dan said. “It’s not that complicated.”

“It is absolutely that complicated,” Phil insisted. He ended up taking about ten minutes to decide what to order, and when he did it was the same caramel macchiato he had ordered at the Starbucks they went to in London.

Dan reached past Phil to put a wad of pound notes on the counter. “My treat,” he said. “Since you got the train tickets and all.”

Phil glared at Dan and stuffed a wad of pound notes in the tip jar.

Oh well. At least Dan could say he tried. And the barista, who was honestly a little bit cute, seemed very happy about it, so Dan was going to call this a win.

Their coffee was ready in just a few minutes, and Dan watched Phil’s face carefully as he took his first sip of his caramel macchiato. “How is it?” he asked.

Phil closed his eyes. “It’s amazing.”

“Better than Starbucks?”

Phil’s eyes flew open. “Now, now. I didn’t say that,” he said.

Dan snorted at the look of near-panic on Phil’s face. “Don’t worry, Phil. I won’t tell Starbucks you’ve been cheating on her.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Dan. You’re such a good friend.”

Dan looked down. Friend. He didn’t want to act ungrateful, but he had been hoping that Phil didn’t want to only be his friend.

Phil groaned. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dan looked up, confused.

“Sorry,” Phil said. “I kind of just got out of a relationship, and I know we live in different cities, so I don’t know if it’s honestly the best idea, but I really like you. And I want to make it work. If you do too.”

Dan smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Their coffee date- date? Was this a date? It really seemed like a date- well, whatever it was, it went well. Phil admitted that this coffee was, in fact, superior to Starbucks. He told Dan a bit about his job- he worked as a video editor- and asked Dan about his. Dan was a little embarrassed to admit he worked at Asda, but Phil didn’t seem fazed. Before long, Dan was telling stories about all the outraged customers he’d dealt with, and Phil was laughing along.

Dan let himself relax a little bit. It didn’t seem like Phil was going to judge him.

They spent the rest of the day wandering around Wokingham. There really wasn’t much to see, but Dan pointed out all of the places he and his friends used to spend time, before, well, they stopped being Dan’s friends, and all of the little coffee shops and secondhand clothing stores he still went to.

When Phil got on his train home, he didn’t kiss him. Dan knew too many people in Wokingham for that. But Phil did hug him, tightly, and Dan whispered a promise to visit soon in his ear.

***

When Dan got back to his room, the first thing he did was check AIM.

Amazingphil still had the same away message as that morning. Dan sighed. Why was he so hard to reach today?

Oh well. There were other things to do on the internet anyway. Twitter was boring today, but there was always YouTube, and random AIM chatrooms where he didn’t know anyone. Dan lost track of time, chatting with someone he was pretty convinced was a fifty year old man pretending to be a teenager, until he got a notification that Amazingphil was online.

He immediately closed his other chat window; the fifty year old man would have to wait.

danisnotonfire: ur back!!! :D

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: im back :D

danisnotonfire: was ur relaxing day unplugged relaxing

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: i had a good day :)

danisnotonfire: that’s good

amazingphil: i was thinking though

amazingphil: u know what’s weird

amazingphil: i don’t know what u look like >.<

amazingphil: we should skype or something

danisnotonfire: we should

danisnotonfire: when?

danisnotonfire: like rn?

amazingphil: sure

amazingphil: if u want

amazingphil: im not doing anything

Dan glanced around. He should clean his room.

danisnotonfire: give me 5

He glanced around again. There was no way his entire room was getting cleaned in five minutes.

Oh well. He had committed. He slammed his laptop shut and surveyed the room, trying to figure out what he could clean in five minutes. Or, well, what he could shove under his bed or in his closet in the next five minutes.

He managed to hide all his dirty laundry, then kicked a bunch of the clutter in his room to one side and pointed his laptop camera firmly away from it.

He opened AIM again, composing a message.

danisnotonfire: ok im ready

danisnotonfire: my skype is danisnotonfire too

He barely had time to open skype before he got an incoming call from Amazingphil. He picked up, then gaped at the screen in shock.

“Wait,” he said. “Phil?”

Phil blinked. “Dan?”

“What are you doing here?” Dan asked stupidly.

“Skyping you,” Phil said, just as stupidly.

“You’re- you’re Amazingphil?”

“Yeah.”

“And also Phil.”

“I think?” Phil extended his arms, staring at them, as if to check that they were real.

Dan groaned, putting his head in his hands. “How did we not figure this out?”

“To be completely honest,” Phil admitted, “I couldn’t really figure out what your screenname was supposed to say. I didn’t really know your name was Dan.”

Dan laughed. “What did you think it said?”

Phil blushed. “I don’t know!”

“No, really,” Dan said, an embarrassing amount of affection leaking into his voice. “What did you think it said?”

“Like, Dani snot on fire or something,” Phil said. “Look, it’s hard to read, it’s all lowercase-”

Dan groaned. “You thought my name was Dani and my username was about my snot being on fire?”

“Look,” Phil said, still blushing, “I don’t know. What’s your excuse for not knowing who I was?”

Dan felt his face heat up. He shrugged. “Phil is a common name?”

Phil laughed. “Not that common. Dan, you spork-”

“Shut up!” Dan said. “I’m not the one who doesn’t know how to read-”

“Maybe if your username wasn’t so hard to read-”

“Oh, blame it on me-”

“Look, I’m just saying-”

Dan scoffed. “You’re just saying.”

“I am,” Phil insisted. “Look, we both made bad decisions-”

“Bad decisions?” Dan said. “You think us meeting was a-”

“Okay, okay. Stupid decisions,” Phil corrected himself. “My point is, we’re here now. Isn’t that what matters?”

Dan had to agree that it was.

#my writing #phanfic #phan #phanfiction

[739337369137371082]

Hey so I found u thru the Halved Live Funnies and I gotta ask... whose Leon? What series these dudes from?

i got this ask and then forgot about it for like 2 days. anyways.

IVE ANSWERED THIS BEFORE BUT. GOD. LEON. ok so like....... long story short last year was when i first played resident evil........ bc we got a copy of re2remake in and.... jesus christ. i hyperfixated so fucking hard for the better part of a year going on into this year. and then i watched hl/vr and well. we know where that went. but now i am once again hyperfixated and now im back to where i was in like.... june of last year LMAO. but anyways i am once again going to ramble under the cut about them <3 (seriously. its very long and doesnt go much of anywhere. also spoilers)

tl/dr:

OK. SO. resident evil. the last time i answered this ask i either hadnt played some of them or just completely forgot the plot of others LOL but now upon beating/playing a large majority of them (besides 6 which i have not touched yet, and 7 is first person and im not rly interested in it rn)...... well others have said this as well but if you like cheesy b action movies you would love resident evil!!! 

the orig 1-2 are more survival horror which is what i like the most. 3 is where it starts branching into more actiony stuff but is still survival horror. but 4 and after is just like..... cheesy action stuff which is fine but not really like.... my thing. altho i do think that they are fun in a “this plot is hilariously bad” type way because i do enjoy horrible things. but people who like resident evil dont like it for the plot they like it for the characters. and for me i latched the fuck onto leon kennedy and tyrant t-00 aka mr fucking x

listen.......... you guys know me relatively well enough to know that i have a type......... and i would define leon as not really fitting under it usually because he is 1. under 6 foot 2. human and 3. very much not a villain. but something about (mostly remake) leon hits fucking different!!!!!! hes kind and means well, thinks about others constantly, looks like an actual fucking person in the in game graphics instead of being some manufactured perfect model, nice voice, etc....... i fucking care him so much. also gameplay wise i find his weapons to be more enjoyable than claires so i always end up playing his route/2nd route the most compared to hers. but i do also like claire :) shes nice and epic

i dont really like the newer leons (4 and afterwards) as much.... i mean a lot of it has to do with trauma and general “growing up” after what happened in re2 but hes just so constantly... snarky? jaded? constantly spouting lines to make him seem cool? when in my head hes very much like... a loser LMAO. i mean dont get me wrong hes a badass. he survives a fucking zombie outbreak and nearly gets murdered dozens of time. thats the definition of badass. but also you cannot change my mind that hes also a anxious loser twunk. there is literally nothing you can do to convince me he is “cool” like the games and movies want to think. this is probably heresy to re fans but this is my truth

https://youtu.be/aVZWuSfGStk?t=129

here is a vid of his cutscenes. obvious spoilers in there but you can skip around and see how cute he is. also yes in his first cutscene he is listening to butt rock. i switch between thinking hes just listening to it because nothing else is on the radio or his taste really is that terrible

also you literally CANNOT convince me that he is straight. the games try SOOOOO hard to get you to ship leon/ada or leon/claire but like...... i cannot see it. he has one of the gayest run animations i have ever seen in re2 remake and i mean... he just radiates gay trans man energy to me. also please look at this small scene from one of the animated movies where a licker jumps on top of him and he wraps his legs around its hips and lifts it off of him to not die. gay king

https://youtu.be/d-VNikxYBPw?t=9

but yes ive basically decided to ignore all characterization from re4 and onwards regarding leon at least. every leon after that is not my leon (except in special cases when im thinking about something like leon/jd from re damnation..... they did jd so dirty and they should have fucking kissed. or how cute he looked in vendetta sometimes)

ANYWAYS. MR X

so basically there are these enemies in resident evil called “tyrants” that are manufactured by the evil capitalist company umbrella that are near indestructible save for like.... rocket launchers or super heavy artillery that youre not buying at your local gun store. and in re2 one of them get sent to the police station where leon and claire are and is told to wipe out all witnesses. (i also do think that 2 or more were sent there... or at least in the area when this happened due to some very obvious plot hole stuff on each route no matter how you play, even tho the devs have come out and said that only 1 existed in the game and that each route is like “a parallel dimension” to each other. i wont go into it more than that but i choose to ignore that)

and well. when i first played it i knew of mr x but didnt like... know much about him other than that he was a monster and Tall (like 7 or 8 feet tall) and that he chased you around. that already sold me on him but then. well. you first encounter him because he lifts up an entire goddamn helicopter and then proceeds to chase you. and it was then that i knew i was in deep shit because he fucking stomped his way into my heart and never left.

mr x basically has serious Side Character Disorder where (even tho the remake made him very cool and epic and did him really well compared to nemesis in re3 remake which is an entire different can of worms) he has LITERALLY no personality or like. thoughts. or anything. hes only there to chase you around and be on screen for like 10 seconds for a couple of cutscenes and then not show up again until the very end of the game for you to fight on leons route. but god. he means so fucking much to me. 

you know how people latch onto random side characters that have no personality and essentially flesh them out more than the creators ever will? thats me with mr x. its gotten to the point where certain songs come on on my spotify and i actually get EMOTIONS or even TEARS because they remind me of him, but its not even really HIM, its the fucking ideas that ive come up with regarding him because all he ever does in game is chase you around and punch you and then die and is never brought up again

but anyways. mr x is a tall monster who chases leon and claire around in their routes but mr x is leons main monster in the game (claire has a different one). he chases leon around, literally never stops looking at him as he chases him, gets hit by an entire fucking car which then explodes BUT THEN chases him down into the sewers and into a secret underground lab just to get to him like a fucking bloodhound who, once he has the scent, will never stop chasing him

(you can see why this made me kind of insane)

just. AGHHH. the tyrants in this series get treated so dirty. i desperately want capcom to give us some sort of tyrant that can actually fucking like.... go against orders and brainwashing or whatever and actually have emotions and thoughts!!!!!!!!!! but capcom would never do anything with it cause its a rough and tough action series and people arent here to see tyrants have some sort of thought process beyond punching and killing and people only want to shoot guns at them instead of thinking about the possibilities of a tyrant that goes against its programming.

i so desperately want an au where mr x got the transmitter shot off of the side of his head (and while capcom never mentioned this ever many re2 fans have since decided that it is what feeds info/orders to him. i flip flop between thinking that it either is near controlling him and prevents free will and thought or that its just giving him orders and that hes just burying/hiding/not showing free will and thought in fear of being killed. either that or someone at umbrella is “piloting” him but also the whole point of tyrants is that theyre supposed to be smart enough to think for themselves somewhat so... eh). GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ive explained a bunch of this stuff in my other ask about it but just...... xleon means so much to me when it should not and will never be actually canon

anyways please play re2 remake at least, you dont have to know everything about re1 to like it, just go into it knowing that a few months ago in the mountains outside raccoon city claires brother chris and a few members on his team went to a mansion where they discovered umbrella doing shady zombie shit there. re2 remake was hyped up for years for a reason and it is really good, even if its short (altho i do appreciate short games in this day and age cause not every game needs to be like 60 plus hours long). 

maybe one day when its not late and i can actually think i will explain all this better but todays not that day <3

(EDIT: ALSO RE DAMNATION TYRANTS ARE 14 FEET TALL. AND CHASE AROUND LEON AND ACTUALLY FUCKING RUN. FUN FACT! anyways while i do think jd in that movie and leon should kiss i also want leon and a tyrant from that movie to kiss. bye)

[macgyvertape]

50 or so hours into Cyberpunk 2077

This should be roughly the correct amount of time, ive been leaving the game running as I get up to get food or do stretches. Quests are roughly in order I did them

non spoilers above cut:

 i haven't found a single hat/helmet i like, and since you can't hide them I just am not wearing any. It matters that much.

I posted the other day about bugs, every few hours I play I find new bugs. some require me to go back and reload a save others I honestly can’t tell if it’s a bug or just really poor development

there are several perks that don’t quite do what the description says, like the Anamesis perk. Based on reddit and trying it out it seems to just not do anything.

sometimes in car chase segments the passenger will say “look out” as cars spawn in my path and hit me. Can’t tell if that was deliberate or a pop in issue

Yeah I’ve just totally given up on doing pacifist things unless required by a mission. Given up on doing stealth too unless a mission objective, except for sneaking around to set up a fight.

:readmore:

the delemain car quest is fun. From the shock of the one going "beep beep motherfucker" and doing a hit and run to start it off, to the GLADOS car i see a lot of people talking about. It was fun to explore the city when i might have missed places like the landfill apparently there is follow up on T-bug's death if you go back to the quick hack shop in Kabuki. It's not much but better than nothing I made the pass with Panam of "what if the room just had one bed". I know she won't do a wlw romance, which is fine since I wouldn’t have chosen her.  I enjoy her as a character, don’t get me wrong, my V considers her as a friend, but it seems like theres always drama going on which would be tiring. I would have gone for a fling, i like her leotard-pants combo with all the straps

but also her questline was buggy as hell. Multiple cases of having to reload due to clipping into objects, including her in a driving section, or just insta-dying when collision physics with some rocks broke "your neural network can no longer function independantly of the chip" me slapping my desk: s y m b i o te!!! come on lets have some s y m b i o s i s

in the scene with hellman i really liked how Johnny moved around the room. It made him feel like he was really there. it was hard to follow the convo as I left the room, i would not have understood it without subtitles. But i guess Takemura fucking waterboarded hellman. :|

lol I hope the dialogue is different b/c i refuse to smoke for Johnny

i am level 18 and still can't beat the first opponents in the fist fighting quest. ffs

I looked up the romances options so I went to do the I fought the law quest as soon as i got it. ACAB, but like I literally just met River Ward 2 minutes ago, and I really like him. His earring and cyborg eye, his big fluffy coat. I'm definitely gonna sleep with him Ok i like how when River Ward is dealing with the tiger claws if you interject it leads to a fight. It goes better if you follow his instructions and let him deal with it. Seriously I enjoy that sometimes its good to not pick a dialogue choice.

during the red queen club part, there was no dialogue over the phone. So i reloaded a save and got myself spotted and attacked. Then River showed up to help me <3 and it was more enjoyable having him there. I honestly am not sure if him not going to the club level is bug or not.

then uuuuuugh the worst of irl police "cops are my family" from Detective Han. Again ACAB "FRATERNITY OF CITY COPS RESEMBLES A [Nomad] CLAN NOT AT ALL" ok a few minutes ago i was complaining about bugs, but the character modeling in this game is good (when they're there). You can see body posture, characters jiggle their legs when they are nervous. Like I though character A was just throwing a cigarette on the ground, but then character B flinches back; I realize Char A threw it at B as a fuck you

I'm honestly curious if "I fought the Law" quest will have any impact later on. My choices were that I thought there was more going on than Holt being the only person behind this (based on how complicated the main questline heist is, and keeping an eye on some of the in game news), and told him not to take it to internal affairs, and I loved his response of how he doesn't give a shit what we think, he's doing it anyway.

In the elevator to report in, Johnny said "this muck is deeper than you think, tell them nothing", so i just said that the case was complicated. anyway i love how much of a sarcastic asshole V is

I thought i was being nonlethal with the monk quest, but it seems i accidently killed someone. RIP, but thats kind of the problem with this game. Like when i do the non lethal cyberpychosis quests I equip my non lethal modded gun and hope for the est. I like how a go here kill things quest led to Charles the ripperdoc. He's getting all his parts from scav gang members so I felt obligated to take him out. I got a police bounty for it but w/e.

I merged the Delemain fragments with the whole. Guess he's the meta now. (Side note: some of my favorite rvb fanfic plots are Ai consiousness/memory merging with the humans, so I’m having fun with this game and look foward to introspective fanfic)

Honestly Jonny made some good points, the fragments didn't deserve to die; but also destroying the core and freeing the fragments, they couldn't really function alone.

I was able to rescue Saul fine with stealth. Using cameras and the synapse overload really made it easy.  Can't use the sniper rifle reward b/c I don't have the stats for it, and while it has a silencer the fact that it's a ricochette weapon and not a shoot through walls weapons, makes it not as good imo; and theres a legendary one that is stats free for only 100k.

Lol made a pass again at Panam, and she immediately shut me down. I then did Mitch's quest and I love every time someone tells V they area  good person.

I hacked the operation carpe noctem shard, and wow the corporations are using ai to make people have cyberpsychosis, or something like that. What a shocker /s, I've played Deus Ex HR before

lol driving through the unifinished interstate, past the fight from Panam's first quest I found a "batcave" with a very nice car, and a manifesto written by "muckman'. But here's my complaint about the loot, there is a legendary top, but it had 16 armor. My current top has 84 armor, like why would i switch?? then later i found a bunker with soviet spies in it. Wild

Doing River's second quest, love the timing of as soon as you ask, why are we breaking in, someone shows up to tell you he got kicked off the force. It's funny how Johnny comments how maybe River's into you, and V just doubts Johnny's words. Love how the first kid asks River if I'm his girlfriend. also wow like oof both the second parts of Judy and River's quest are SUPER fucked UP!! oof like i stopped doing first person mode on the braindances for those quests as soon as i could, just made me too uncomfortable seeing that in first person.

DRIVING IN THE GAME IS BAD! nowhere is it more apparent than the sinnerman quest, which took me 3 times to get the driving section done, as cars spawned out of nowhere to hit me. Then when you restart, there is a bunch of dialogue it doesn't let you fast forward through. The rest of the Sinnerman questline is interesting. My V took every option to tell the dude that he was messed up, and what he was doing was wrong. idk, I was surprised how much dialogue there was that let you buy into his whole "forgiveness thing" and how there wasn't any real dialogue to call him the fuck out, that in seeking forgiveness he continues to do harm both emotional to the mother of the man he killed, but also that he got the husband killed via cop. The later follow up quest, I told him that what he is doing is crazy, studio is just going to profit off this vid. Then I refused to join him prayer, and told him fuck no i wasn't going to hammer him to the cross, or even watch. Yes, the man is scared of dying, and the corporation is exploiting him, but he keeps creating burdens for others.  I think the discussion on this quest will be interesting to read, it's definitely my own personal experience with religion coloring my view. Anyway back to a main quest, yeah i don't trust Placide, especially in that scene where he grabs my hand, then jacks in. I ran off to do most of the sidequests here and got some criticism from him. I do love how in the cinema the western movie switches to a mission brief as the netwatch agent talks. its a fun enviromental detail.  I took the netwatch offer, i don't think he's being fully honest with me, but he didn't put a virus in my head. As I told Placide later, I didn't pick a side. I like how you can then talk with the agent, who is a fan of Western movies, b/c they show "a simpler time where all good guys carry badges" :eyeroll:, and then V recommends Unforgiven, which from the wiki summary goes against that theme.

Looks like the Voodoo boys all got killed by Netwatch, but I as revenge for them trying to set me up I'm fine with it. Honestly after speaking with ai!Alt I don’t believe their plan of trying to be on good relations with AI would work. 

doing the johnny flashback 2, and wow Johnny really is an asshole. Like I had gotten so used to him in side missions I forgot how self centered and unlikable he was.You constantly get prompts to drink or do drugs, which I ignored. But i do love the goth/punk love Rogue and others have.

lol i called it, when Hellman said that the engram would seek to override the host, put V on the engram. I really like how as the relic malfunctions, you wind up in the chair with a cigarette, which you can either smoke and say you are turning into Johnny or throw away. My dialogue "your problem is the ends justify the means", which is true!!! He and Rogue detonated a nuke downtown, does anyone know that, and like ask Rogue about it????

(Funny you can ask Rouge about Johnny silverhand, over the phone, then the game bugs out and spawns her npc where you are. She doens't say much about the nuke, but she does say no one trusts you for jobs). The line of no one trusting you for jobs is pretty funny at level 46 street cred where im at “respected” status. really loving the family atmosphere at River's 3rd quest. Also his big strong arms, and the fact he is no longer a cop. I totally let the kids win, and wow the family dinner where they GRILL YOU over the relationship and try to set the two of you up, then the water tower scene!!!!! I don't love the first person sex cutscenes but they do have personality. I'm glad afterwards you got to tell River about the biochip and that you might die. Because he's so far removed from your personal plot. So I took that option to back out of a relationship.

I do love that you wake up with "river's tanktop" that says "fuck the police" It actually has extremely good armor stats, so thats what I'll wear now.

panam 3rd quest, when shes like why did you help me, I'm like "because it's important to you". Basically the closest you can get to "when a friend asks for help you help them", which as an ex-nomad backstory I really choose the nomad options when ever i can Paralezes quest part 2! I love the piano song but I always think of it as ocean's 11 music. It's also fun to see the computer and see Judy recommended you for the first quest. The emails talk about "forgetting" to hire a staffer, on the balocony a strange antennia was scannable, the color of the roses was remembered wrong...  lol guess i was right with those giant wall screens. Its fun environmental details that spell things out before you can notice, and it ties into some other quests where people's behavior is being altered. Actually, this quest "Dream On" I love it! For a while I've been like "wheres the illuminati conspiracy! Here it IS! I chose to follow Elisabeth's wishes and not tell her husband he was being brainwashed. In best case they program him to forget again, in worst case he ends up dead. The gaslighting Elisabeth described is CHILLING, her husband describes a vacation she can't remember and she doesn't know whose memories have been messed with. On your way to the plaza you get a call from someone/something that says the know exactly WHAT you are, any you black out!!! It's such a great feeling of helplessness that you're just one person in a world so big that you can't fight every power. As Johnny said, could be a corporation, could be a rogue ai, either way Jefferson is fucked (and so are you).

#cyberpunk 2077 #mac plays video games #a lot of this journaling i do #so in a few years i can look back #and see my first impressions

[cloud9consultive]

How To Flirt With Women Over Text (25 Copy & Send Text Messages) 1 of 2

Below you will find the first 25 of 50 text messages that will show you:

– How to flirt over text. – How to ask a girl out over text. – What to text a girl to start a conversation. – How to text women to make them laugh.

Feel free to send each text as-is or edit as you see fit. You can also use them as inspiration to create your own unique messages… Enjoy!

What to text a girl to start a conversation:

1. Hey cutie so random meeting you today….are you always so friendly to handsome strangers?

2. Hey… Is it too soon for casual text? I mean… I barely know you, maybe we should wait

3. So… what kinda trouble have you been causing since we met?

4. Lets skip straight to the important stuff… which do you prefer: pillow fights or bedtime stories?

How to text women to make them laugh:

When sending a text that could be misinterpreted as rude, mean, or negative, use emoticons or emojis so she knows you’re just joking around.

5. just made you pick up your phone for no reason…looks like I got you in check

6. The police are looking for a suspect described as sexy, funny, & phenomenal in bed. You’re safe but where can I hide?

7. water u doin … besides thinking about me and doodling hearts on a piece of paper?

8. Happy national hug a plumber day! (Use this site to find random and crazy holidays: holidayscalendar.com/categories/weird)

9. If we were stuck in an elevator together could I asked you a hypothetical question?

10. Those beautiful eyes, that amazing smile, those juicy lips, that awesome bod, so hot! But enough about me, what r u up to?

11. ur my new text message girlfriend for the next 5 minutes. In 5 minutes send: Aww now we’re broken up. Its not you its me. Was fun while it lasted. In another 5 minutes send: now I kinda miss you… I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back.

12. Let’s fly to Vegas, get married, argue about our third kid’s name, divorce, then grow old, lonely, and depressed. u in???

How to flirt over text:

13. You: You are so… Her: Awesome (or something similar) You: Wow, we even finish each others sentences. You make me feel like a pudgy, naked, winged child just shot an arrow into my chest cavity

14. Thinking of you…. and taking cold showers =D

15. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dirty is your mind?

16. You: Wanna have text? Her: Is that a sexual innuendo? You: Wow. That’s a big word. Let me grab my dick-tionary

How to ask a girl out over text:

17. Will you go out with me? (a) Yes (b) a (c) b

18. party. tomorrow night. mi casa. u in?

19. We’re gonna be at (place you want to meet) tomorrow. you and your friends should stop by

20. We could go on an amazing first date, have great conversation, share a deep connection, have lots of laughs, enjoy absurd amounts of flirting before I say goodbye and charmingly end the night with a soft kiss on your cheek. After that we’d both get too busy and never see each other again. Interested?

21. You: hola mi amor… This is Antonio *sexy voice* Her: ummm ok hello Antonio! You: Come over and I’ll make you Quesadillas. Then we can cuddle and watch Telemundo

No reply? Get her to respond:

If she doesn’t reply, wait a day then text her again. If she doesn’t respond to that, wait two days then text again. If still no response, wait three days. And so forth.

22. My bad… forgot to get back to you I was X X = something high value, incredibly fun, or hilarious

23. I’ve been distant lately… but don’t worry, first 3 rounds of couples therapy are on me

Random (Use as you see fit):

24. Snapple Fact: A one-minute kiss burns 27 calories 25. No texts after 2am…I get too many of those

This should be enough to get you started if you want to learn how to flirt with women. That’s all for now. I’ll see you on part 2 of this text message series.

#dating

[stepphase]

Cyberpunk 2077 Gameplay: 9 things to know before playing

Cyberpunk 2077 Gameplay: Of course, it is a game that arrive after eight years of anticipation and hype. Cyberpunk 2077 Gameplay have officially launch in Global. As well as, it is already a broken Steam records. In fact, its fans expect of a game from CD Projekt Red. Also, the studio of The GTA 6 and Assassin's Creed Valhalla is a massive game. With a gigantic open world that is explore in the Night City.

After all, i have spent 40 hours with this game. And i feel fraction of what Cyberpunk 2077 Gameplay have to offer. As well as, i have notice few thing which is powering through Cyberpunk 2077 weekend.

Image: CD Projekt Red

1. Loot every single thing

After all, here is a way to make money is to sell armor. In fact, a lot of enemy will drop their armor or gun after get killed. Just pick every single thing and sell them. After all, Crafting is big element of the Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay. Also, you can craft armor, weapons and much more. As well as, you can use dismantle weapon to upgrade weapons.

2. What difference backstories make

After all, when you will start the game you will get 3 option with backstories for V: Nomad, Street Kid, Corpo.

In fact, there is 2 main impacts. The first effect the open hour of the game. As well as, if you will start in a Night City, different Characters, it is depend your choosing. Of course, the Corpo is in office building. And the Street Kid is in Sleazy bar. As well as, Nomad is in the Badlands desert outside of the Night City. After all, After gameplay of an hour you will come at the sam epath with fun for hire with your pal Jackie.

Af course, the second effect is with a different dialogue option that is base on the backstory that you choose. After all, when i went for Corpo, that give V ability to politic his own way to certain sticky situations. Also, your backstory won't make difference.

3. Don't just play the main quest

After all, i have spent 5 days around to get the Cuberpunk 2077 Gameplay review. Also, i force to ignore side quests and focus on the main storyline. Of course, Don't do this.

As well as, the Cyberpunk 2077 story is strengths and its relationship between V and Johnny Silverhand. As well as, the mercenary play by the Keanu Reeves with a characters called V. Of course, the Cyberpunk 2077 is explore a Night City. Also, Gameplay itself is encourages and prompting you regularly and take break with the main quest for other stuff.

In fact, its amazing to play Side Quests then the Main Quests. Also, from reining in seven AI-powered cabs is rogue to solve mystery of slain mayor. After all, it is my favorite that the rogue cabs have personalities often legitimately funny.

As well as, the more Side Quests will give you the access of the better endings. After all, i finish the game in 37:30:26 hours with less Side Questing. In fact, it is really clear that the ending i did in Cyberpunk 2077 Gameplay and there is many possible ending. Also, i get the worst ending by the way.

Note: Do more Side Quests to get more resolute and satisfying ending for V.

4. Do gigs to get cash

As well as, in Side Quests, to help a character to complete overriding goal with "gigs". After all, their is a more mercantile: And a "fixer" will definitely ask you to go do a job for them. Just like an incapacitate enemy and sneak through hideout and place a tracker on vehicle. Or to take risk from one place to another place. After all, your'e a gun for hire.

In fact, this things is fun with challenging and it will take 15 or 20 minutes maximum. Of course, You will definitely need the money in Cyberpunk just to buy weapon, cars, and upgrades. Also, i find these gigs is the best way to make it.

5. Stack attributes

After all, you will get option at begin of the game is to distribute points for attributes: Body Reflex, Cool, Intelligence, and Technical Ability. As well as, you will have perks that you can unlock in attributes.

In fact, i spread the attribute points and perks senievenly. And i also have idea that skill trees in most AAA games. After all, i end up unlocking all perks eventually. In fact, you are better off choosing that how you wanna approach combat and tailor attributes point and perks.

Of course, there is a 2 ways to handle the combat: Stealth and Force but there is a subdivisions. Also, you can specialize in the meelee weapons, and fisticuffs or gunplay. Also, you can optimize sleuthing hacking abilities and stealth kill offense. After all, the cool attributes and the related perks will make enemies harder to detect you. As well as, you can hack tech to distract enemies. Also, throwing daggers.

In fact, you can adjust your style in game but do not do what i did. Just try to be balance.

Breathtaking Johnny Silverhand. Screenshot by CNET

6. Pump Body and Technical Ability to open doors

After all, there is a Body and Technical Ability to attributes both highly useful to navigate Night City. In fact, both is use to open lock doors. Also, have more benefits like getting higher Body points that will lets you hijack cars and open parked cars. In fact, there is a Technical Ability that will let you hack mainframes to get money and to crafting components.

Breathtaking Johnny Silverhand. Screenshot by CNET

7. No two playthroughs will be the same

After all, the choices is really matter in Cyberpunk 2077 Gameplay. Also, it is a true in Main Storyline. As well as, do not go in game with impression that make small and cosmetic differences. How you complete missions and react it will have a drastic effect.

After all, I have a suggestion that open section in game and you are task with getting a piece of the military tech from the gang. As well as, there is a option to meet with operative from mega corporation that tech was stolen. In fact, when I demoed game in August i didn't bother meet the operative and a result to blast my way out of gangs hideout. After all, i play this time i meet operative and result her corp's forces to shootout with gang and leaving me scurry away easily.

8. Do not use fast travel everytime

As well as, this is a similar vein. Also there is a fast travel point to the city that you will be able to use it. After all, when objective is other side of Night City. In fact, you would not have the time to dally dilly but you will often be rewarded for travelling via motorbike and car.

Of course, there is a lot of things to do in Night City. As well as, you are bound to find something if you will travel manually. After all, you will definitely find multiple cool things as i find regular stops en route to next quest location after see it. And the icon beckoning me into the HUD map.

After all, the Night City Police Department will pay you if you break it up and apprehend the perps. As well as, the Fighting crime yield solid loot that you are left disappointed with payoff.

9. You can fail Side Quests

After all, you will definitely fail Side Quests and would not get chance to re-do them.

In fact, when the first time i experience i was midway through a Quest revolving a killer that is trying to seek forgiveness from the dude he killed. Also, at the end of the Quest, one of that dialogue option is "Alright, i've seen enough". As well as, it is reverse psychology trick that i choose. "OK, fine" and the Quest just ended.

After all, this is same for challenges. As well as, one "gig" taking part in shooting contest with rifle with the top prize. As well as, there is not a single option to redo it. I Just Lost it.

Cyberpunk 2077 Gameplay

Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay: After all, Night City is like a deranged experiment in a social Darwinism. As well as, it is designed by a bored researcher who keeps one thumb permanently on the fast forward button.

In fact, that line is from William Gibson in 1984 novel Neuromancer. Of course, it help to define genre known as the Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay. As well as, the book conjures world to cutting edge trends are embarrassing cliches and desperate hustlers rise overnight and also fade without the trace.

After all, the Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay by the Witcher studio CD Projekt Red in Night City. As well as, the Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay was announced in 2012 and that is based on the tabletop series which was launched in 1988. Of course, it is a years of work that is report months of the brutal crunch time. In fact, CD Projekt Red have deliver on incredibly ambitious vision. As well as, it is a vast virtual city with complex narrative and also the roleplaying system.

As well as, it is dont by playing elements straight and safe. Of course, the Cyberpunk 2077 Gameplay is frequently satifying and also a impressive game. Also despite setting in fast moving future that is never surprising.

Trailer

https://youtu.be/BO8lX3hDU30

After all, the Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay take the place in eponymous year 2077 which is at the Night City. As well as, it is a California Megalopolis where interlocking freeways thread between the skyscrapers and the street markets. In fact, you can imagine Los Angeles with the mile high holo billboards and the pedestrain friendly urban planning. As well as, there is a de facto breakip of the America.

Also, that is failed urban utopia has become an autonomous zone that is dominated by gangs and multinational corporations. After all, on every single street level, the surface has plastered with sexed-up ads and also nihilistic graffiti. As well as, it is an ultra-rich have retreated in cavernous hotels and apartments with gilded servant class. After all, the citizens disposable and the body is malleable, ripe for the dramatic cybernetic modding which is blends with chrome.

In fact, your protagonist is mercenary named V that is hail from three possible background. As well as, 2077's is small corporate overclass and the Night City teeming slums or the nomadic group at outside the city. As well as, V is a neon hair corporate taider for insance. Also, with a short origin story mission that is be drag in bloogy interdepartment conflict. Also, V is countless freelancer drifting at Night City demimonda. In fact, join heist arrange by flinty femme fatale and naturally its job falls..

Sexed-up Billboards, Nihilistic Graffiti, and Literally Gilded Service Class

After all, V is a witness cold-blooded into the crime of the Night City’s. As well as, in ensuing chaos and coverup. Also, its ends with a piece of dangerous experiment technology. Also, they resurrect the digital ghost of the Night City legend: In fact, the metal-armed punk rocker is the terrorist Johnny Silverhand and voice by the Keanu Reeves. As well as, Johnny’s suffering frustrated outbursts and cynical quips.

After all, they also figure out that who built tech and how to stop the deadly effects. As well as, appealing to the criminals and also corporate loyalists who will stab them in the back.

Of course, this is a threat in a narrative that is big by a standard to the open-world games. After all, i finish Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay in 37:30:26 hours. As well as, that covers major Side Missions and cruising around the Night City. Also, I left a few small tasks undone.

After all, Every single neighborhood is pack with jobs just to discover, random crime to stop, and conversation to overhear. After all, when you become the more powerful, crime bosses, and local fixers then start to ask out for help. As well as, they will try to sell you a secondhand car. Also, in the opening mission, you will definitely find major endgame story branches that is depend on your loyalties.

More

After all, the Cyberpunk 2077 map's overwhelming experience. With the waypoint icons, pack and selecting a given item requires zoom in. As well as, the game does a good job of spin extends side arcs from core missions. Also, it is a calamitous first act, that given multiple leads to the main goal.

As well as, they tracked down require the cutting deals with the characters and also contacting heists to other participants. After all, these partners will ask for help with their problems. it Also, continue subplot to the main story and open doors to fresh Night City subculture. In fact, you will find more gigs but the several option section that will feel like V and Johnny Saga.

Night City future are eternally relevant

After all, the Cyberpunk 2077 tropes have survive because of the ring true. As well as, Cyberpunk 2077 depics hyper-stratified societ. Which is rewards cruelty and exploits vulnerability, also commercializes everything. This game conventions help it avoid facile event references that is still feeling contemporary.

After all, Cyberpunk 2077 falls in irritating caricature. As well as, V and Jackie develop blend for streetwise cynicism and buried hopefulness. As well as, those dialogue is overladen with spanish aside. After all, this game is straightforwardly reproduces 1980s Cyberpunk's surface of level fascinating with China and Japan. in fact, it is arming japanese gangster with katanas. And building Japanese Characters around archetypes like a honor-bound samurai.

After all, the USSR hanging with them, and the Cyberpunk 2077's gender and race worldbuilding is feel like an alt-history relic. Also, it will let you customize V's voice and body shape.

After all, the tabletop series author Mike Pondsmith have stat that the rules of detail fictional society is political. As well as, the Cyberpunk import social conflict for a dramatic effect like an long subplot about the sex workers. In fact, its vulnerable class of the real people. Also, its trying to overthrow bosses.

In fact, these conflicts do not feel fail or successful social commentary. Also, its stock neo-noir conceits which happen just to involve oppression. Also, Cyberpunk 2077 is a brand of exploitation. After all, it is a piece of fiction that does not add stories and ideas it is borrowing.

After all, CD Projekt Red has created a sprawl populate a world. where meandering freeways also outlying deserts and the rows of factory-farm also greenhouses feel beautiful craft.

Cyberpunk 2077 Gameplay is a powerful machine with million slick toggles, but they feel disconnected

After all, the Cyberpunk 2077 areas have the shortcut doors to the high-tech or high-strength players can unlock. As well as, it is not clever puzzle-box design you had find in the Dishonored or Deus Ex. Also, you can choose to kill the enemies, a thread of the missions where you have to bring the targets in alive. After all, this option affect gameplay style or character interactions.

After all, your background and stats in the Cyberpunk will produce extra dialogue choices. As well as, they rarely change how conversations unfolded. In fact, a lot of game is roleplaying choices are crude binaries or illusions. Also, the Cyberpunk 2077 is powerful machine with million slick toggles. But more of them will feel disconnected.

After all, its a silver lining for me just like a reviewer and granted because Cyberpunk 2077 pre-release for PC build was fully unpredictable bugs. As well as, its mercenery keeps reappear behind me when i knock him unconscious and also forcing me toshoot him. As well as, when i try to move their body some enemies clipped through floors and exploded.

I can destroy you just with my brain with a four different ways

After all, this game is open-ended roleplaying and few elements reminiscent of sims just like Deus Ex. As well as, purchase weapons and clothes are supplemented by the upgrade tree for games key stat. Also, dexterity, strength, and cool. After all, you can visit back to the alley technicians which is called ripper docs. As well as, they also install bionic weapons and swappable upgrades with perks.

As well as, Cyberpunk 2077 can approach a lot of areas by slip past enemies undetected. Also, you can shoot everyone. After all, there is a clever hacking minigame that provides blanket benefits and making enemies much more vulnerable or glitching out the security camera. After all, there are “quickhacks” for actions. As well as, in stealth, you can deactivating turrets or making vending machines chirp to distract the enemies. In combat, you can fry the enemy's brains by making implants malfunction.

After all, this system will help to carry the Cyberpunk's considerable length. Instead of the rewarding hyper-specialization and the game encourages versatility also mixing up firefights with the sneaky sections. As well as, Quickhacks add a touch of much-appreciated absurdity to the combat. In fact, it is satisfying to infiltrate a criminal hideout. Also, incapacitate cluster of the mooks by uploading some contagious poison brain virus. As well as, wait for their buddies to notice you, start a shootout with futuristic-looking “tech pistol”. Then knock the final gangster out with the mind powers.

Modern Cyberpunk 2077 is the broad vibe and a specific retro-future setting

After all, this saga is felt rote. In fact, it is Dungeons & Dragons codified that is Tolkienesque fantasy. As well as, Cyberpunk 2077 is distilled recognizable elements from influential fiction like Blade Runner and Neuromancer. After all, it is a loosely define cyberpunk genre that begins as a ground to space operas. Also, the post-apocalyptic is wastelands and heavily influenced by the hardboiled fiction.

As well as, it is permeated science fiction which has innovation cliches. Nowadays, “cyberpunk” has 2 contradictory meanings: tech-heavy futuristic media which is felt organically grown from the present-day to social conditions. Also, its specific set of the 1980s and 1990s influenced retro-future noir conventions.

After all, Cyberpunk 2077 sits in the timeline where the Soviet Union still exists. As well as, Japan is an economic and cultural superpower that is with chaotic warzones and big cities. In fact, this game set decades after when original tabletop release. And the CD Projekt Red tune down retro aesthetic enough just to avoid ostentatious anachronism.

Of course, there is a periodic flashback to an earlier era and also creating a strangely hilarious setup. Where 2077 is look sort of from this real-world in 2020. After all, fictional 2020 is actually a sci-fi 1980s right down to the vinyl record and the eye mount camcorders.

Bugs

After all, if the Cyberpunk is a game for the perfection than i consider it is a serious problem. As well as, i hope CD Projekt Red will definitely fix it. As well as, it is roll out one round of pre-release bug patches. Also, it is a huge sandbox with autosave system, which is not a deal-breakers.

Of course, the Cyberpunk is hype as triumph of the next-generation gaming. Also, it is sheer size which will take advantage of the modern computer and console specs. Of course, my PC is really powerful enough for games.

Cyberpunk 2077 is released on December 10th on PC, Google Stadia, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox Series S, and Xbox Series X, Fifa 21, Capsix Robotics, GTA 6 Project America, gta 6 release date/characters/map/news/rumors, cyberpunk 2077 release date, cyberpunk 2077 warn streamers to avoid dmca strikes,

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[wiiired]

Season 2 Awards

We’ve finished Season 2! Like last time, I thought it’d be fun to make a bracket of my favorite and least favorite moments, once again relying on Way Down in the Hole for the categories. So, without further ado, the best and worst of Season 2.

Best and Worst Boss: I’m going to give both of these to Frank Sobotka. There’s nobody more invested in the well-being of his union -- from bribing politicians to ratting on the Greeks to keep his men away from criminal charges, Sobotka was willing to do anything to protect IBS Local 1514. Over the course of the season, we see him be incredibly generous with union workers, gifting them cash when they’re in a hard spot, and drinking with them at the local bar. But Frank is also the reason that police attention falls on the union; while you can’t blame him for Stan Valchek’s personal grudge, he’s absolutely blameworthy for getting in deep with a criminal organization. Ultimately, Frank was too short-sighted to be a good boss, and his insistence in maintaining the status quo rather than looking for ways to adapt was ultimately his downfall. Of course, his downfall also cost the union its freedom -- in the final montage of S2E12, we see that IBS has been taken over by the feds.

Best Couple: My favorite couple is one that never happened -- Frank and Beadie (making my case: 1, 2). I’m a sucker for yearning looks, and there were definitely some looks traded between the union boss and local cop. They seemed to genuinely care about each other, beyond a friendly smile at the port or in the bar. One of the most memorable scenes of Season 2 is when Beadie confronts Frank and asks him to talk to the cops. Frank confesses to her that he thought he was doing the wrong thing for the right reasons, and Beadie says, “There are different types of wrong.” I feel like they could’ve been a couple that mutually supported each other -- Frank the stable union presence for Beadie’s kids, giving Beadie more flexibility to find the career she’s looking for. Alas, the Greeks ruined that one for me.

Worst Couple: Nick Sobotka and Aimee. Nick just isn’t ready to settle down. He isn’t making enough money to support a family, and while he loves his child he isn’t enough of a presence to be there for her. Not to mention, he abandons Aimee in his parents’ home and spends the night with Prissy rather than seeking comfort from his significant other. Aimee deserves better than this man who brought trouble onto himself, and consequently made her life more difficult (the three of them got dragged into Witness Protection thanks to Nick’s Greek connections). I say time to move on.

Favorite Quote: Any of the nicknames for Jimmy while he was riding the boat. Sailor Boy, Little Man in the Canoe, Captain Chesapeake, McNulty the Sailor Man, and my favorite, Prince of Tides.

File This Away for Later Moment: Stringer’s encounter with Brother Mouzone. The way that Brother Mouzone sees straight through Stringer -- remember that. Mouzone will be making an appearance in Season 3.

Rookie of the Year: Ziggy. On Way Down in the Hole, Van Lathan pointed out that Ziggy is a character who always provokes an emotional reaction; love him or hate him, you feel some kind of way when he shows up. Personally, I found my growing tolerance for Ziggy growing over the course of the season, and on a rewatch I was more attentive to the way he’s treated by Nick and Frank. It’s hard not to feel sorry for the class clown who just wanted some respect, and couldn’t get it, stuck in a job where he couldn’t succeed and ignored by his own father. Over a single season, Ziggy evolves from union jester to booster extraordinaire to convicted murderer, all because he couldn’t find his spot. Hopefully he’ll have time to change in prison, and he’ll be able to start over once he gets out.

Six M(e)n of the Year: Jemele Hill and Van Lathan picked Herc and Carver, and I have to agree. No one was a more consistent B plot than Police Brutality 1 & 2 (Jemele’s nickname for them): Herc’s pestering of Kima to join the team, and then getting Daniels to bring Carver on board, too; the bug-tennis ball-Fuzzy Dunlop subplot; those brief seconds where the two of them struggled to bring that air conditioner up the stairs; constant car surveillance and that amazing scene with the french fries (”You think I’m fat?”). I’ve always liked Herc and Carver because I think they’re funny, but I felt guiltier about it last season because they were unquestionably the cops most likely to beat someone up. This season, they’re the perfect combination of scheming yet inept and well-positioned as comic relief.

Favorite Scene: It’s either D’Angelo’s death in S2E6 or the scene in S2E11 where Beadie asks Frank to talk to the cops. First, D’Angelo’s death is dramatic because it’s so sudden -- everything is going well, and then thirty seconds later D’Angelo’s on the floor with a belt around his neck. The first time I watched S2E6 I didn’t actually believe that D’Angelo had died -- it wasn’t until the next episode that I understood he’d actually been killed off. Not to mention, D’Angelo was season 1′s moral compass, so losing him was pretty upsetting. Second, the scene between Beadie and Frank -- well, I’m just a romantic for them. Whether they should’ve been together or just good friends, you can’t deny how well Amy Ryan and Chris Bauer act emotional. I felt Frank’s regret for everything he’d done, even more so because I knew what was going to happen to him. And, yes, I think this scene is proof why Beadie and Frank would’ve been a good couple. While Beadie was there for a reason, she was the only person who was able to comfort Frank and understand why he made the choices that he did, and Beadie was the only person Frank was able to open up to. Maybe in an alternate universe, Frank comes clean, helps the cops nab the Greeks before they sail off on fraudulent passports, and Beadie drives him home, where with Ziggy in jail he decides he’s going to start anew. The two of them load his truck with suitcases, pick up Beadie’s kids, and drive off into the sunset.

Best Performance: Nick Sobotka. It’s hard to make a thieving, racist dockworker sympathetic, but Pablo Schreiber did it. Jemele Hill points out that Nick is the most openly racist of the dockworkers; despite working with and seemingly befriending black fellow dockworkers, Nick consistently uses the n-word, and in S2E7 gives an infamous speech to Frog, reminding them that they’re both white. Yet we also see Nick struggling to survive: living in his parents’ basement, giving money to his girlfriend when he can, and being affectionate with his daughter. He turns to crime because he can’t make enough money at his straight job. Nick Sobotka’s character is a masterful ruse to get white audience members, who may have resisted empathizing with the Barksdales, to see drug sellers as human. I also have to shout out Pablo Schreiber for being (a) very cute, (b) 6′5″, and (c) apparently very talented at playing believably nasty characters -- he won an Emmy for Orange is the New Black as George “Pornstache” Mendez, an abusive corrections officer who exacts sex from inmates in return for drugs he smuggles in. I guess post-Emmy he’s in demand, most recently playing Mad Sweeney on American Gods.

Stringer Bell Fuckboy Award: There are two options, both of them defensible. It’s either the scene where Stringer seduces Donette, or when he’s over there later playing with D’Angelo’s kid while Donette makes him dinner. Personally, I’d pick the latter. Not only are Stringer and Donette holding hands in front of D’Angelo’s son, but Stringer actually picks up the (world’s cutest) baby and bad-mouths D’Angelo to him! Classic fuckboy.

Favorite Trivia: Apparently, Lance Reddick (Cedric Daniels) hated Dominic West (Jimmy McNulty). In real life, Reddick and West are somewhat like their TV personalities -- Reddick is quieter and more reserved while West is very chatty and extraverted. In All the Pieces Matter, Reddick admitted that he found West rather annoying and avoided him outside of work.

MVP: Beadie Russell. Instrumental to the plot, growing exponentially from day-jobber in S2E1 to certified good police in S2E12, and maybe the kindest character on the show. A single mother supporting herself and two kids, it’s hard not to root for Beadie, who became a cop after realizing she couldn’t feed her family on a toll-taker’s salary. She also gets a disproportionate number of the season’s most quotable lines, from “What they need is a union” to “World just keeps turning, right?,” probably because she represents the viewer’s perspective (taking over from gone-too-soon D’Angelo Barksdale). While her weakness for McNulty will get her in trouble, I’m glad we’ll see the return of Beadie in Seasons 4 and 5.

That was fun y’all. Here’s my bracket for Season 1.

#season 2 awards #s2 #mine #text #the wire

[lovelytonys]

100 great things about megamind

basically i just watched megamind and wrote down everything that made me go “hey that’s good”

1. The opening monologue slaps I literally do not care about your “cliches” it’s GOOD

2. “8 days old and still living with my parents...pathetic right?”

3. The idea that Megamind is inherently good since his origin story should have been his dad saying he’s destined for “greatness” but the greatness got cut off uwu

4. Literally just the fact that Megamind was about to go to the Rich Nice House and his destiny changed at the last second,,,everything about this movie makes it a cinematic masterpiece

5. “A baby! How thoughtful!” “yes yes I saw it and thought of you”

6. “While they were learning the itsy bitsy spider I was learning how to dehydrate objects and rehydrate them at will”

7. When you hear the Bad to the Bone guitar riff kick in,,,,,,heck yeah babey!!

8. J.K Simmons is here! yeah!

9. Will Ferrell’s voice acting is literally SO darn good like even just from the beginning,,, the funny affectation of whatever kind of accent that is,,,,,the expressiveness of literally everything he says,,,,,I’m not actively a fan of Will Ferrell or anything but he just did a good job ok

10. “His heart is an ocean inside a bigger ocean”

11. Idk why but I just love the phrase “you fantastic fish you”

12. Metro Man is such a fun character. Like. A hero who shouldn’t be a hero, but he just….is one? Someone who’s idol-worshipped and, despite his grandeur, doesn’t exactly deserve it?

13. MEGAMIND’S CHARACTER DESIGN IS LITERALLY SO GOOD like the vivid colors of his skin and eyes? His COSTUME? His hilarious proportions, between the giant head and the skinny & scrawny everything else? Superb, you funky little alien

14. All dialogue between Megamind and Minion is god tier by default

15. The twist on “damsel in distress” where yeah the girl gets kidnapped but she is so not distressed and has the intellectual power in the situation as she roasts Megamind at every turn and he can’t combat anything she says

16. “Oh potato tomato potato tomato”

17. “I’m shaking in my BABY SEAL LEATHER BOOTS”

18. THE ENTIRE EXCHANGE BETWEEN MEGAMIND AND METRO MAN ABOUT JUSTICE AND REVENGE AND THE MICROWAVE OF EVIL AND WARRANTIES

19. “Can someone stamp my frequent kidnapping card” “You of all people know that we discontinued that”

20. The way this movie manages to SO effectively establish character while diving right into the action and keeping with a fun, fast pace? The world & characters are set up incredibly well AND the start of the journey/ “break into the new world” hits at a brisk 20 minutes? Lovely work, Dreamworks

21. When Highway to Hell kicks in with the lasers and Megamind dancing at the police,,,,,this is nothing short of priceless

22. “Imagine the most horrible terrifying evil thing you could possibly think of and multiply it…..BY SIX”

23. When you’re a supervillain who takes over the city and you say “let’s just have fun with this” to the citizens

24. *whispering behind the door* “now slam the door really hard!” *snickering like a 12 year old girl* “move they can still see you”

25. “Did you think this day would come?” “No, no not in a million years, not ever...I mean yes”

26. “That’s called a window, sir. All the kids are looking through them”

27. Crazy Train is SUCH a nice touch, the fade into Alone Again Naturally is great. The use of music in this movie is absolutely A+, MEGAMIND DID IT FIRST AND GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY AIN’T SPECIAL (jk gotg you’re so special ily)

28. The images of Megamind’s destruction & deterioration of the city are so creative and funny

29. *to a desk toy bird* “What’s your vacuum like?”  

30. “GOING OFF THE RAILS ON A CRAZY TRAIN SIR”

31. Haven’t yet mentioned how lovely the animation of Megamind’s face is! Every single frame, he’s so expressive

32. Mispronunciation of words like “school”, “Metro City”, and “melancholy”

33. This voice cast in general is so good like it’s not just big names phoning it in for an animated movie, they’re fully into it

34. Real Bernard doesn’t get much screen time but he’s hilarious

35. “Typhoon Cheese”, whatever that was gonna be

36. The juxtaposition in body language & facial expression between Real Bernard and Megamind Bernard,,,,,actually just the way Megamind’s physicality is transferred to the other characters he disguises himself as. Great stuff

37. Megamind’s off-the-walls high energy is so fun and electric

38. “This is a bad idea” “yes, a good idea for the greater good of bad” “maybe it seems good from your bad perception but from a good perception it’s just plain bad” “oh you don’t know what’s good for bad”

39. Ollo? Oh, hello

40. “I’m just yelling at my…..mother’s urn”

41. Megamind and Minion just saying “code” before things that aren’t in code. This movie is so good with its running gags, they don’t feel like “oh haha they used that joke again!” they feel like inside jokes between the characters I love it

42. Megamind fighting himself as Bernard while complimenting himself, COMEDY GOLD

43. The various occurrences of random life-altering things happening on a whim to the wrong people, like Hal getting the superpowers and earlier Metro Man being molded into a hero and Megamind landing in prison as a baby

44. The forget me stick

45. Space Dad and Space Stepmom

46. Every character Megamind inhabits always retains Megamind’s eyes

47. MR BLUE SKY PLAYING OVER HAL’S DISASTROUS TRAINING SEQUENCE AND THE FALLING IN LOVE SEQUENCE THAT INCLUDES DONKEY KONG AND MEGAMIND WEIRDLY TEXTING ON A FLIP PHONE (gotgv2 who? Don’t know her)

48. Roxanne’s positive influence making Megamind genuinely want to make the city better uwu

49. ROXANNE AND METRO MAN WERE NEVER A COUPLE! Lovely trope subversion

50. Tropes in this movie in general are so fun. This isn’t some uninspired genre parody. They don’t just subvert tropes in the exact way that you’d expect. I feel like the way that this movie plays with the superhero genre often feels unique and creative

51. Bernard’s character design kind of slaps tbh. The turtleneck, the hair, the glasses, all very nice

52. When Hal calls Roxanne “a really good looking one I’ve got my eye on” like she’s meat or something as opposed to Megamind valuing her personality…..makes ya think u know

53. T h e  b l a c k  m a m b a a a a a

54. “Maybe I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore!” and Megamind & Minion’s subsequent falling out that served as a precursor to the disastrous date with Roxanne- it happens pretty much exactly halfway through the movie. Some people look down upon following structure to a T, but sometimes it’s satisfying when a movie perfectly follows structure and this movie’s structure is flawless

55. “Good luck on your date” “I will” “That doesn’t even make any sense” “I know”

56. Right after fighting w Minion when Megamind looks in a cracked mirror and frowns at his reflection but then changes into someone else, into Bernard, and then smiles? THE CINNAMON TOGROPHY, THE STORYTELLING

57. When Hal is just an incel whose feeling of entitlement is framed as disgusting and he’s not supposed to be sympathetic and Roxanne’s rejection of him is not framed as evil but rather completely justified? VERY epic of them, this movie would have SMASHED the pop culture scene if it came out today

58. The GRAVITY of the part when Roxanne accidentally reveals Megamind in the restaurant is so powerful that I can STILL barely watch it even though I’ve seen it so many times

59. The part that immediately follows where Roxanne shuts down Megamind is SO well done. Roxanne is giving out some harsh words to our dear protagonist, but she is not framed as the bad guy. The great thing about this scene is that they let Roxanne call out Megamind on how he’s been a jerk and she gets to be RIGHT. How very cash money of them! The emotion here isn’t anger at Roxanne because she’s ~being mean~ to Megamind. It’s a sting over the fact that she’s right, and the heartbreak over the dramatic irony of us knowing that Megamind is becoming a better person and Roxanne having no idea. Now Megamind is left with a decision that will show who he truly is on the inside: he could either retreat back into safe, evil ways for the rest of time because it’s easier to be bad because then no one expects anything from him and rejection is easier to handle, or he could ultimately choose to grow from this and recognize how he was wrong and how he has to change. The execution of this midpoint is exemplary.

60. “Do you really think I’d ever be with you?” “....no” the delivery of those lines is so good

61. “You were right! I was….less right!”

62. The Black Mamba is a god tier costume and the fact that it has its own theme song in the score makes it at least 6x better

63. WHEN BACK IN BLACK KICKS IN YEAAAHHHH (Iron Man who? Don’t know her) (Iron Man was already out at this point but how fun is it that this movie used TWO iconic mcu songs)

64. Megamind in the giant suit playing with cars

65. Hal SUCKS I love how much the movie wants you to hate him

66. The difference between Megamind and Hal/Titan/Tighten is so interesting to watch. How Megamind is the self-proclaimed “bad guy” but he’s not even out to do serious damage & it’s just a game to him, while Hal is out for blood but was created to be a hero

67. “Now it’s time for witty banter” “AAAAAAAAA” “I’m not really sure where to go with that”

68. “I’M CALLING A TIME OUT”

69. Twisting the Kryptonite trope by having Metro Man make up the copper weakness

70. “Does he have a hideout? A cave? A solitary fortress?” lol I understood that reference

71. “OW! MY GIANT BLUE HEAD!”

72. Metro Man’s confession scene is so good. Really, how often do you get a hero who feels that he was forced into being a hero? That’s usually a villain trope. Does the hero ever realize he doesn’t want to be a hero….and actually quit FOR GOOD? Again, the trope subversion is awesome

73. “I have eyes that can see right through leaaaaaaaad” that’s my favorite song

74. “You left the city to HIM! No offense” “no I’m with you”

75. “There’s a yin for every yang. If there’s bad, good will rise up against it.”

76. “I say we just go all GANGSTA on him” ms tina fey i would die for you

77. Megamind turns himself in to the police, the fact that he willingly submits himself to the punishment of being a villain at this point is a lovely and stirring way of showing the sense of justice he has deep down and showing his character development

78. When Roxanne gives Megamind a desperate & compassionate pep talk over live tv no matter what it means for her reputation :*))

79. When Megamind has 88 life sentences

80. “I. Am. Sorry!” *dramatically slides down door*

81. Megamind’s heartfelt and regretful admission of all his mistakes that brings his character arc to a head? Lovely

82. “Good luck” “WE’RE GONNA D I E! Hahahaha!”

83. “There is no Easter bunny, there is no tooth fairy, and there is no queen of England.”

84. MEGAMIND’S EPIC ENTRANCE BY COMING OUT OF HIS OWN MOUTH

85. “Oh you’re a villain alright. Just not a super one.” “Oh yeah? What’s the difference?”

86. P R E S E N T A T I O N

87. METRO MAN THUNDER CALVES

88. Again with the green eyes continuity! Love that!

89. “Going somewhere? Besides jail?” *flies in a fancy pose*

90. When Megamind is ready to let everyone think Metro Man is back but Roxanne wants to see the real hero :*))

91. “This is the last time you make a fool out of me!” “I made you a hero, you did the fool thing all by yourself” SICK BURN

92. “There’s a benefit to losing. You get to learn from your mistakes”

93. WHEN THE DEHYDRATION GUN COMES IN CLUTCH

94. Minion being a drama queen lol comedy peaked in 2010

95. Minion’s Little Face

96. “GET BACK YOU SAVAGES” “Sorry he’s just not used to positive feedback!”

97. “Destiny is not the path given to us but the path we choose for ourselves”

98. When Megamind gets to parallel Metro Man’s entrance from the beginning of the movie and everyone cheers for him :*)) and he adds his own fun little twist by making a villain joke

99. “Megamind, defender of Metro City” “you know? I like the sound of that!”

100. Name a better villain to hero story. YOU CANNOT. Cinematic excellence. I am never disappointed.

#I DO NOT DESERVE RIGHTS #lovelytonys personal thought

[basically-i-write-shit]

wow, just read that ice skating AU with Tsukki being Yams coach. I love it. It was also sad in the end, since his little sister said that not many are nice to her older brother. I had an idea. what if one day Yama shows up with a bruised eye right before a competition. Hotarou is upset since her bro doesn't tell her anything and Tsukki is upset becuse Yama cant compete looking like that but also worried. Yama tries to hold it together but breaks down during practice on the ice (1)

(2) and Yama tells him that just some boys in his class decided to give it to him since he is an ice skater & calls him slurs becuse of it. Tsukki can’t really do anything, but he is upset about the whole situation. And Yama cries more bc Tsukki is kind of like his only friend despite their age difference. They talk for a while and Tsukki buys him french fries and hamburger since that is his fave food and Yama is in fucking tears. its okay since he isn't going to compete :) Hotarou approves!!!  

I forgoooot about this god bless u anon 

Tadashi is late. Again. Unlike last time he was late, Kei is on time, and waiting impatiently. He takes the liberty to skate laps while he waits, thinking of a suitable punishment for showing up late a week before a competition. Seriously, there’s only so many competitions Tadashi can compete in that aren’t national competitions, and Kei still hasn’t convinced him on that yet. 

He’s making his third leisurely lap around the rink when Tadashi stumbles in, holding a crying Hotarou. Kei can’t see Tadashi’s face, but he assumes he’s fine-- he’s more focused on Hotarou. He rushes over to the door and climbs rinkside, kneeling at Hotarou’s side as Tadashi sets her on the bench and rushes into the bathroom. 

“Hotarou-chan, are you okay Did you trip and fall outside?” He checks her over for scrapes, but can’t find one. Hotarou keeps crying, her little hands pressed over her eyes. Kei helplessly fumbles, searching for something to do. He’s no good with crying, kids, or crying kids. God, why did Tadashi rush off? “Hotarou-chan, I need you to tell me what’s wrong, okay?” 

“S- Someone h- hu-- hurt Tada-nii!..” 

“Wha--” Kei frowns, brows furrowing. “Someone hurt Tadashi?” 

“I-- It was so scar- y!..” Hotrou throws herself at Kei, clinging to his shirt, and Kei wraps his arms around her, rubbing his back. 

“Shh, it’s okay, Hotarou. It’s okay. Hey-- can I leave you right here while I go check on Tadashi? I’ll be right back.” Hotarou nods, sniffling, and Kei grabs a blanket and wraps it around her. He ruffles her hair and goes to the bathroom, steaming with anger. “Alright, who did it?” 

Tadashi is locked in a stall, sniffling. “I- I don’t-- kno- kn- know what you mean.” 

“Yamaguchi, don’t lie. Hotarou-chan said someone hurt you. Now open up.” 

A moment later, the stall door opens and Tadashi steps out. There’s blood on his school shirt. That’s-- not good. Tadashi’s holding a hand to a bloody nose, and Kei thinks that’s the extent of that. Thank god. He lifts Tadashi with ease and sits him on the counter, wetting a cloth and wiping the sweat from his face. There’s a bruise forming on left eye, and that...that won’t be good for competition. He combs Tadashi’s hair from his face. 

“They jumped me on my way to pick up Hotarou...She scared them away by screaming when she came out of the rec center.” Tadashi whispers.

“Tell me you had someone chase after them. That’s-- That’s assault..!” 

Tadashi looks down, ashamed. Kei sighs before he tilts his head back. 

“Hotarou was crying, and I was bleeding. No one saw-- I just wanted to get here. Please, let’s just ignore it and get to work. My routine needs to be perfect for next week.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because you’re looking at the wall, not at me, Tadashi.” Kei sighs. This just isn’t good. “I’m gonna call your mom and take you to the clinic. You have a concussion.” 

“Wh- Wha-- No, I can’t! I’m fine, Tsukki. Really.” 

“I don’t think so. We’re taking you to the clinic.” Kei pulls Tadashi off the counter, holding him as he walks him out. “Hotarou, will you help carry Tadashi’s skate bag please?” 

“Y- Yes, Kei-Sensei! Is-- Is Tada-nii gonna be okay?..” 

Kei pats Hotarou��s head, smiling. “We’re gonna take him to the doctor, and he’ll be just fine, Hotarou-chan.” 

And he is. Well-- mostly. He has a mild concussion and he’s not able to get on the ice for a couple of days. He isn’t able to compete because of the practice he missed due to the concussion; a week later, on his first day back, he comes back to the rink on time, though he’s a bit jumpy and paranoid. Hotarou is looking a lot happier than the last time Kei saw her. 

“Okay, Yamaguchi, we’re going to work on your routine so we can get you ready for a competition in Tokyo in a month.” 

“Right.” Tadashi’s been distracted. He sighs, closing his eyes. “I kinda lost a lot of practice time, didn’t I, Tsukki?” 

“Well, I wasn’t going to have you practicing on a concussion. A fall could make it worse.” Kei hops up on the side of the rink and presses play on his phone, the speakers playing the song Tadashi arranged for the competition. About halfway through practice, Kei shuts off the music. Tadashi just can’t focus, and he’s falling more than usual. Kei can tell there’s something on his mind. “Yamaguchi, are you feeling alright?” 

Tadashi startles, nodding vigorously. “I- I’m fine, Tsukki. Just a bit frustrated. I’m not landing that last triple!” 

Kei nods, humming. There’s an awkward silence, before Tadashi clears his throat. 

“I- I...don’t think I wanna go to competition, Tsukki.”

Kei blinks. “...What? Why?” 

“I dunno. I just-- I start uni in in a month, I don’t wanna be known as the ‘figure skater’ in college.” 

“Yamaguchi...You love skating. Why would you quit?” 

“I won’t quit, I’ll just keep renting private ice.” 

“You promised me you’d compete until your second year of university.” Kei says. He runs a hand through his hair, looking away. He wouldn’t admit it, but he feels...betrayed. “Yamaguchi, you promised.” 

“Yeah, well, I don’t feel like getting beat up in the streets and called a fag in front of my baby sister again, okay?!” 

Tadashi’s words echo through the rink, and Kei is glad he sent Hotarou to the other rink down the hall with Kuroo and the other fun-time skaters. 

“...What?” 

Tadashi’s knees wobble and he collapses on the ice, sobbing. “They called me a fag, Tsukki. While they were beating me to a pulp, they called me every slur in the book, and spit at me. B- Because some of the guys found out I figure skate and thought that was good enough reason to beat me up..!” 

Kei kneels at Tadashi’s side, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Tadashi, that’s...horrible.” 

“Yeah, well I know that, Tsukki. Thanks!” Tadashi’s head falls into his hands with a whimper, and Kei carefully pulls him into a hug, sitting on the ice despite how cold it is. They’d both regret it later, but Tadashi needs Kei right now. 

“Do you know who did this?” 

“S- Some guys from my class...” 

He nods. “And they got in some big trouble for this, right?” 

“No--” Tadashi shakes his head. “No, I can’t tell on them, they’ll get even more mad. I don’t-- I don’t wanna-- know what they’d do to me.” 

“Tadashi you need to tell someone so this never happens again.” 

“B- But--” Tadashi whimpers. “Tsukki, what if they’re right?..What if-- What would you do if I...was...gay?" 

The rink is dead silent for a few seconds.

“Well I wouldn’t beat the hell out of you and give you a concussion, that’s for sure. I’d support you. Just like I’ll support you quitting skating if that’s what you really want, and not because some assholes think it’s funny to pick on people for things they can’t change about themselves.” 

Tadashi sniffles, turning his head to look at Kei. “R- Really?..” 

Kei smiles. “Really.” 

“If I go make a police report...will you come with me?” Tadashi asks weakly. “I don’t wanna bother or scare mom, and I-- well, I don’t have anyone else to go with...” 

Kei nods. He know how bad Tadashi’s school life is. It feels nice to be needed-- because, well, as much as Kei pretended he was this big bad guy who doesn’t need friends, but he does get lonely. And he knows Tadashi does too. 

“I will, Tadashi.” He pats his shoulder. “I promise. But will you please, please keep skating? Finish this competition, and then tell me how you feel.” 

Tadashi nods, sniffling. “I will.” 

Kei smiles, ruffling his hair, and climbs up. He offers a hand and helps Tadashi onto his skates again. “Let’s practice for another hour, get that police report done, and...well, you have a competition in a month, but I suppose I can let you have McDonalds tonight just for tonight-- since you’re being so brave and going through with this. My treat.” 

Tadashi beams happily. “Large fry?” 

“You’re pushing it, Yamaguchi-kun.” 

“Aw, I’m Yamaguchi-kun again? So mean, Tsukishima-sensei~” 

“Just get back to practice before I make you do laps.” Kei says, skating to the edge of the rink and hops up on the side again, pressing play on the speaker. Tadashi laughs, getting into position, and though he teases Kei for yelling at him (”your step sequence is sloppy!” “Slow down on that quad until you can land it without stumbling.”), he makes sure to listen to his criticism seriously and adjust what he needs. 

After the crying, he’s a lot better. Both emotionally and in practice. It’s reassuring to Kei, at least. He’s happy, for at least a moment. 

When practice is over, they leave Hotarou with Kuroo for another half an hour while they go a block over to the police station and file a report about the incident, but there’s not a lot they can do since it was a week ago and he doesn’t remember much because of the concussion. But it makes him feel better, at least. 

When they finally make it back to the rink, Hotarou bounces up to them with a bright grin. 

“Kei-sensei, Tada-nii-chan, how was practice?!” 

“Great, Tarou-chan! My routine is going great.” He pinches her cheek with a smile, grabbing his skate bag with one hand and her hand with the other. Kei grabs her other hand, smiling at the happy squeal she gives when he tells her he’ll buy her a happy meal. 

Tadashi catches his eyes, smiling, and mouths a silent “thank you” to him-- not just for volunteering to get Hotarou food so he didn’t have to use the rest of his allowance buying her a happy meal.

When Kei comes to the rink the next morning, well-- he’s relieved to see Tadashi come back. And he's going to make sure Tadashi wins his next competition, so he can see him skate even more. 

#haikyuu!! #tsukkiyama #yamaguchi tadashi #tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima #tadashi yamaguchi #fluff #figure skating au

[televisor-reviews]

Top 10 WORST Movies Of 2018!

As everyone is talking about their favorite and least favorite films of last year, I’d much rather take a look at what came out two years ago! This is what I do every New Year, get used to it. And keep in mind that I haven’t seen every film from 2018, so as bad as I’m sure Sherlock Gnomes and Pacific Rim: Uprising are, I haven’t gotten around to them. If you’d like a list of every film I have seen, I have them listed on my Letterboxd: https://drive.google.com/uc?id=1HnDnQ4ibO82ryM9lOCGgw1FZhVLdC4SZ

#10. Fifty Shades Freed On my 2015 list, I didn’t even bother putting Fifty Shades Of Grey on it because I thought it was absolutely hilarious! On my 2017 list, I placed Fifty Shades Darker at the very top for its lack of even the basics of what makes a decent flick, notably there being no real plot. So I guess I’m meeting this franchise in the middle by putting Fifty Shades Freed at the tenth spot for just how batshit this movie is. Shit kinda just happens randomly with little to no reason while also not being funny in the slightest. In fact, large segments of the film is kinda boring, particularly the sex scenes in which there are so many that by the 20th time, you’d just get used to it like a jump scare in Winchester. Really, the biggest reason this is only at #10 is because Fifty Shades Freed has Freed us all from this series, assuming that a film adaptation of Grey isn’t made. And that’s the greatest compliment I’ve ever given to one of these movies. #9. A Wrinkle In Time I once heard someone justify Disney’s live action remakes by saying they help fund their more unique film escapades like Nutcracker And The Four Realms (which barely didn’t make the list). The problem with that is that I don’t want those ether! And considering how Solo and The Rise Of Skywalker turned out, maybe Disney’s live action department should just stick with Marvel movies. Honestly, I don’t completely remember why I left the theater after seeing A Wrinkle In Time so angry, like legitimately pissed off. I remember the girl who looks like one of the Mean Girls being treated like a member of the Losers Club, how terrible the child acting was, how even worse the adult acting was, how annoying everybody who wasn’t Chris Pine was, and how that little kid was named Charles Wallace because the characters said it at least a million times! Considering how angry I am just writing about it, I’m guessing it was a combination of all of those elements being wrapped up with a pretentious bow. Honestly, A Wrinkle In Time was a humongous waste of my time. #8. Show Dogs It’s a bad sign when the movie starring Bojack Horseman yelling at Ludacris dog is only at #8 on my list. The big reason for that is because this is so terrible that I had to break down laughing at times. Not because Show Dogs is genuinely or ironically funny, it’s just so batshit insane that I had to laugh. Almost like a defense reflex: like if I wasn’t laughing, I’d end up jumping off the roof. The plot is crazy, the acting is crazy, the whole fucking idea is crazy! I’d like you to stop and imagine Will Arnett with the straightest face possible yelling at a dog voiced by Ludacris that nobody can actually hear in the middle of a very serious police station about the dog fucking up an undercover job and somehow not laughing your ass off. That is what it was like watching Show Dogs. You’re welcome. #7. Slender Man I think people really downgrade how good horror has been lately. I know that in a world of Insidious: The Last Key and Truth Or Dare, it’s easy to be pessimistic. And I think people also dismiss the greatness the internet has had on modern pop culture. Considering how bad things like Daphne And Velma and Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle are, I kinda get it. In reality, these tend to be the outliers among a lot of greatness, but after seeing Slender Man, I’m starting to think similarly. I was one of the only people who was actually excited about this movie because I’m young enough to remember a time when Slender Man: The Eight Pages was the scariest thing in the world and after seeing how well Hollywood treated the character in Beware The Slender Man, I was really hopeful. Little did I know that Madhouse Entertainment had one of the least interesting and least scary horror movies I’ve ever seen with boring characters, a monster that’s barely in the movie, and a script that’s closer to Rings than it is to its source material. I really hope this’ll go the way of Ouija and Annabelle and end up having a really good followup or else Slender Man will be a huge blot on the legitimacy of the internet. #6. Snake Outta Compton I’m gonna be straight with y’all, I have been doing a pretty bad job at keeping up with horror B-movies lately. I mean, I did watch The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time and Leprechaun Returns but those were mostly just mediocre, even within the context of the rest of their franchises. So when I saw the title Snake Outta Compton, I knew I had to watch it expecting something really stupid and funny as all hell. Instead I got a boring and uninteresting barely even an attempt at cinema. I really hated this film, it’s just such a boringly dull film where little to nothing ever happens and I hated every dumb second of it. The terrible rapping, the awful effects, the horrendous acting, everything in snake Outta Compton sucks and I hate it. #5. Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom Remember that god awful polar bear movie starring Rob Schneider from a few years ago… yeah, they made four of those. Normal people would say the first Norm Of The North was the absolute bottom of the barrel, I say “No!… It’s Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom,” and even more suicidal people would probably say it’s Norm Of The North: King Sized Adventure. If you thought the animation in the original was bad, you’ve seen nothing! This is so bad that I’m not even sure it should be considered animation! This is so bad that it makes Duck Duck Goose look like The Grinch! This is so bad that they couldn’t even get Rob Schneider back! The plot, it’s like this is one of those straight to DVD Disney sequels that were made up of episodes of conceled TV shows except why would anyone try to make Norm Of the FUCKING North into a TV show! But apparently it made money considering how (and I’ll repeat this again) there are four of these! Maybe the immense failure of Arctic Dogs will stop Entertainment Studios from making any more. #4. The Thinning: New World Order Speaking of sequels that’ll make the originals look like masterpieces, we’ve got Logan Paul’s magnum opus, coming straight outta that Japanese suicide forest. A film that tells you that a country made up of the smartest 95% of citizens are stupid enough to not catch on to the pretty obvious government plan going on in this universe. Even more so, apparently presidents to be are allowed to just make major laws that’ll arrest about 50% of the population before being sworn in as president. But even more so, I’m to believe that Logan Paul of all people is smart enough to escape these poorly conceived concentration camps. This is a key example of suspension of disbelief gone too far. I don’t believe for a second that this world actually could exist. And I want everyone reading this to remember The Thinning: New World Order after seeing what I put at number one that even liberals can make terrible movies too! #3. The 15:17 To Paris No shit, this is easily the worst movie I’ve ever seen in theaters. No joke, no sarcasm, the Clint Eastwood trainwreck that is The 15:17 To Paris is by far one of the worst movies of the decade… and it’s only at #3 on my bottom 10 of the year. Let me explain. Where the absolute bottom of the barrels of the year are total slogs that I wouldn’t be able to stand watching again, this is actually really fun to watch. Immediately after seeing it in theaters, I wanted to see it again just to make sure it wasn’t a fever dream. In every conversation I have, I recommend this movie because it has to be seen to be believed. Of all the films on this list, this is the only one I’d actually recommend to people. No other film has the balls to portray three normies with ADD talking as boringly as possible taking selfies in Venice for 30 minutes for no goddamn reason. In no other movie will you see a bunch of comedians try and do serious roles that they had no right being casted in. When I went back to school and brought this up with my film nerd friends, every one of them had a different story of watching this. My god, please watch The 15:17 To Paris so that we can convince Clint Eastwood into making The 15:18 To Paris. #2. Gotti Let me tell ya, Gotti is one of the wurst felms ya’ll evar see! Who in da hell convinced John Travolta that he culd do serious roles! But in all seriousness, this movie sucks. I’m not super familiar with the story of John Gotti, and by that I mean I’ve never even heard the name before seeing this film. And I’m pretty sure that to even get what’s going on in this, you’d have to see a 3 hour documentary on the guy beforehand or else you’d be incredibly confused the entire time because I know I was! Don’t even ask me what happens in Gotti because I have no clue. It goes all over the place with different characters doing different things at different points in time and eventually, I stopped paying attention! I do remember that there were about 20 characters named “John,” John Gotti only kills one guy though I’m pretty sure that as a mob boss he’d kill more, and I have no idea how this mafia makes money. Oh, and this convicted feline is apparently also Jesus Christ. I’ll tells yas, ya can live 100 yeers an neva see a moovy as bad as Gotti. Before we get to #1, let’s do some runners up!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom I wanted so bad to put this on the list because as a pretty big Jurassic Park fan, I can fairly say that Fallen Kingdom is easily the worst film in the franchise. If only because of that dumb ass twist at the end with that kid I kinda forgot even existed. Or just for those annoying ass comedic reliefs that are consistently useless. Or just because on a base filmmaking level, this movie sucks. Hurricane Bianca: From Russia With Hate Listen, I’m openly and proudly bisexual, so I get how important it is to get good representation out there in the film industry. And I also get why a lot of the Ru Paul: Drag Race fandom has latched onto this series. But Jesus Christ guys, drag queens can do better and they deserve better. From Russia With Hate is definitely a step in the right direction with it being way more interesting and fun than the first Hurricane Bianca… but come on guys! These aren’t good movies! Just watch more Drag Race, it’s much better. The Happytime Murders Disney, please let Muppets Now be good! The puppetry artform deserves better than this garbage! The Happytime Murders is a movie in which half the jokes is that a puppet is jizzing a lot. Honestly, my biggest beef with this film is that it doesn’t even get to the heart of what people love about the Jim Henson style of puppetry, notably the fun. Look at most of the cast, they are very humanoid compared to Kermit The Frog or Fozzy Bear. This movie is, first and foremost, not fun. Bob Lazar: Area 51 And Flying Saucers This is my nomination for worst documentary of the year. It’s just annoying to me that this guy can get away with lying to so many people without any repercussions. In fact, he gets this whole documentary that’s basically sucking his dick the entire time! I went in expecting something along the lines of Behind The Curve, a doc that takes an even stance at looking at its crazy subject matter but in a respectful way. In reality, Area 51 And Flying Saucers isn’t even in the slightest being totally on Bob Lazar’s side without questioning his all knowing wisdom for a second and is n’t respectful in the slightest for the intelligence of its viewers! Fuck this doc! A Simple Favor This is my nomination for best worst movie of the year. A Simple Favor is a crazy film with a cast and crew taking it weirdly seriously for a comedy, all with super monotone voices. None of the actual jokes are genuinely funny but lots of them are ironically hilarious. Granted I was very high while watching this, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best state of mind to be in while watching it! And did I mention how nobody acts during this but rather just say their lines monotonely! Loved it! God’s Not Dead: A Light In Darkness This was the year Christian propaganda got boring. I was so excited when I went to see I Can Only Imagine in theaters as my first theatrical Christian film experience only to be totally disappointed when it turned out to be pretty dull. Even more so when, later on in the year, the newest installment in the world famous God’s Not Dead franchise, the same one that first brought upon this new age of Christian based filmmaking that’s brought me so much joy before, turned out to be similarly dull. There was a split moment when a character states, “Jesus Christ was the original social justice warrior,” when I was brought back to life with its own stupidity, but it turned out to be fleeting. Not outrageous enough to be put on the list, but too outrageous to be any good. So this is how God’s Not Dead ends: not with a bang, but with a whimper. The Meg And speaking of boring, The Meg has to be the most boring shark movie ever made. A film that feels like it lasts for days and in which no real stakes feel like are in play. This has got to be the most boring and dull and uninteresting and BORING movie of the year! And considering how boring of a year it was for film, that’s saying a goddamn lot! Mary Poppins Returns I feel like I went through an arc of my own while watching this. I went from, “this isn’t bad,” to, “okay, this is a little too much like the original,” to, “why the fuck am I watching this?” Mary Poppins Returns feels like one of the Disney live action remakes because it’s basically just a shittier version of the original with absolutely no good reason to exist let alone to watch, especially compared to said original. And the climax makes absolutely no sense with the logic of the film universe; she can literally fly! And by god, does this feel like anything but Mary Poppins. Blockers Listen, I get that this film is sex positive and that’s a really great thing and all the actors are really trying their best. But it is all in vain for this film with a really unfunny script and that’s kinda important for a comedy. Sometimes Blockers can get a chuckle out of me because of how over the top it can get at times but those are just outliers in a mostly mediocre movie that got built up too much because of how much positivity is in this. Proud Mary Proud Mary is the perfect example of a film in which just because someone can do it well, doesn’t mean everyone can. Ever since Quentin Tarantino has been making movies like Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill, throw back action films have been really cool to see. Then, all of a sudden, the director of London Has Fallen had to come around and remind everyone that they can’t all be winners. Mostly dull dialogue between characters I don’t care about waiting for the action that isn’t even all that good. I was really hopeful that Proud Mary would be fun, but it’s anything but. #1. The Trump Prophecy Listen, I get that when I say that a movie literally titled The Trump Prophecy is the worst film of the year, it comes off as if I’m making a big political statement but believe me, I am not. Politically, admittedly, I am pretty liberal but I’m not really a political dude. But I do know terrible filmmaking when I see it, and believe it or not, a film about a crazy firefighter who gets a vision in his sleep from a god orb that Donald Trump must be president might not be very good. In fact, fuck this cynical, piece of shit, taking advantage of conservatives, monotonely acted, with no love or passion put into it, goddamn movie! As much as I didn’t like any of the movies I’ve mentioned on this list, it’s clear someone, anyone, was passionate about making them. But considering how clearly the director never asked any of his actors to do a second take, no love is clearly put into this. How cynical, how shameless. As someone who does genuinely love the art of filmmaking and would adore the opportunity to make a relatively big budget movie myself, the fact that something as lifeless as The Trump Prophecy gets to be put into any theaters really pisses me off. Say what you want about The 15:17 To Paris, at least it had its heart in the right place. Say what you want about Gotti, at least John Travolta was obviously passionate about the project. This has nothing and is easily the most hatable film I’ve seen in years!

#the trump prophecy #gotti #the 15:17 to paris #the meg #mary poppins returns #blockers #god's not dead: a light in darkness #i can only imagine #proud mary #a simple favor #bob lazar: area 51 and flying saucers #sherlock gnomes #pacific rim: uprising #norm of the north: keys to the kingdom #jurassic world: fallen kingdom #hurricane bianca: from russia with hate #the thinning new world order #mowgli: legend of the jungle #velma and daphne #slender man #winchester #truth or dare #insidious: the last key #the happytime murders #duck duck goose #the grinch #snake outta compton #the last sharknado: it's about time #leprechaun returns #show dogs