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#not a nurse. maybe this logic still applies somehow i mean many people in the medical field have certifications and degrees in different
rorvk · 3 years
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okay that’s IT *evicts your owls*
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thickenmyblood · 2 years
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Alright so what really makes me mad about hiuh is that Maxime is great!! At least he seems to be from the fanfic and your answers to asks. And on the other side there's Damen, complicated, hard to get, with all his flaws, temper, those terrible things he said and their fights. I mean, if I were Laurent's friend or connected to the story somehow, I'd definitely tell him to get over Damen and keep it up with Maxime. But then you wrote it through Damen's pov, and he is actually great, and even if he isn't that great the reader gets so used to him and to his thoughts, you get comprehensive and loves him and cherish him. And that's painful, because at the same time you're in love with Damen and hopes everything goes well for him, you also know he isn't the best choice.
Anyway, I love your fic!! I just can't get over chapter 9, really destroyed me!! The same logic of Maxime and Damen applies to Nicaise, because you know he is an abuse survivor and that Damen was difficult and said awful things, but you also just wish Nicaise hadn't said any of that and could be nicer to Damen.
I'm so excited for the next chapters!! My guess is that Damen's going to have a real breakdown, maybe an attempt to take his own life (?), and his friends and family (Kastor) will put him in a nursing home or something, temporary so he can get medication and psychologic attention. And then there's going to be this Laurent and Nikandros scene because they are talking about what happened to Damen and what they could do about it. But it's just a guess.
Merry Christmas!! Hope you're doing well!!
I think a lot of people gave up on the fic very early on because Damen was so insufferable in the first few chapters😭 He still has some very fucked up thoughts, but now I feel like most readers know where he's coming from and that he doesn't mean to cause real harm with the things he says or does. A lot of his problems have to do with how privileged and ignorant he is, which... I mean we can all relate to the ignorant part, at least a tiny bit.
Maxime 🤔I think he is... exactly the sort of person Laurent would seek to date after Damen. I know we all secretly want him to be horrible and awful and so different from Damen, but I'm not really one for villains. I like the idea that Maxime and Damen can be, in many ways, equals, and that ultimately what sets them apart are very specific characteristics that don't have to do with their morality (intrinsically) but rather with their understanding of Laurent and Nicaise.
AS FOR YOUR THOUGHTS... no spoilers, but I love how sure you are that Damen has reached rock bottom lol. Do you think he can't suffer a bit more? 😏 I love your Nik-Laurent ideas, and I'm very very excited to for future updates.
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mollymauk-teafleak · 7 years
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❝ My mother always hoped my kids would end up like me…I’m so sorry. ❞ everything's ok au, maybe some eliza/maria bonding? 😏👍🏼
Okay so this is for @childofdustandashes because I love her she’s had a rough few days and she deserves to be happy and smiling all the time so I hope this helps.
“My mother always hoped my kids would end up like me,” Elizasighed gently, shifting little sniffling Liza on her hip, tenderly wiping away someof the shiny snail trails running down her daughter’s cheeks, “Guess they did…”
She turned her face and chuckled apologetically, “I’m so, sosorry.”
Maria had to smile, Eliza’s upturned lips were always soinfectious. It was like she pulled good moods and sunny moments out of nowhereand, even better, let her friend share them. Like she was holding an umbrella upagainst the rain that Maria seemed to spend most of her bad days in, that she’dconvinced herself was just her version of normal, but Eliza gladly suffered alittle of the wind and the pattering mist to let Maria shelter under there withher.
“It’s my job,” she pointed out as she wrestled her hair,finally allowed to grow thick and wavy and naturally in the last few years,into a solid bun at the nape of her neck, “And my pleasure.”
“But after AJ’s fractured finger yesterday and Philip’sblack eye the week before,” Eliza sighed a little fretfully, taking a seat onone of the hard plastic chairs made for people much littler than Eliza herselfthat sat in a perpetually neat row along the left wall of Maria’s nursestation, below the colourful sunburst mural and the growing population of picturesfrom her young patients, little thank you’s for smiles in the corridor on themorning, sweets pressed into palms to reward tackling injections, for hugs andband aids and spoonful’s of medicine.
Maria loved looking at that wall. Of course, Susan’spictures went right in the centre.
“And this littlemadam,” Eliza rolled her eyes with more than a little bit of affection, pushingback her little girl’s lion mane of ringlets where some had stuck to her tearstained face, still a picture of misery, “Who seems determined to break everybone in her body before she’s six years old.”
“N’ma fault, mama,” Liza put up a feeble protest, alwaysready to argue back, too much of her father’s blood in her veins not to getdefensive.
“Oh?” Eliza smiled gently, her heart softening considerablyat poor Liza’s weak indignance, cuddling her little girl closer, letting herrest her head on her chest, “So it wasn’t your fault you were up in that tree,huh?”
Liza considered the tricky logical corner that backed herinto. She pushed her bottom lip out, “Yes. AJ dared me.”
Maria muffled her giggle into her palm, covering it up bypretending to rattle the tin of tongue depressors with an errant elbow. Elizawas hiding a smirk herself, sticking her tongue out across the room at herfriend when Liza wasn’t looking.
AJ’s reputation preceded him. Apparently becoming a teenagerhadn’t matured him any.
Good, Eliza would think, when she saw him dropping waterballoons on his elder brother’s head from the upstairs window or throwingclever innuendos at her Alex from across the breakfast table. She hoped henever changed, she hoped none of them ever did, they were perfect the way theywere.
Though, she amended that thought in her own mind, editingher own thoughts. She’d like her little namesake’s penchant for getting herselfinto trouble would fade. Just a little.
“Well how about the next time AJ dares you to do something,”Eliza chuckled, “You tell him to go take a hike. Alright?”
“Okay,” Liza gave a shaky sigh, the movement making the achein her arm, the deep burn buried under her skin that had been throbbing sinceshe whacked it on a branch falling out of the tree in the backyard and,thankfully, into her father’s arms, flare up angrily and a low wail escape herlips, “Mama, it hurts.”
Eliza’s heart broke, the way it always did when one of herchildren was hurting. Maria nodded gently, motioning for her to turn Lizaforward, kneeling in front of the chair, pulling her white nurse’s coat aroundher.
“Well, let’s see what Auntie Maria can do about that, huh?”she smiled gently, “Can I have a look at your arm please, pumpkin?”
Liza looked like she was about to, for just a moment, beforeit jostled her arm and she turtled right back into Eliza’s arms with afrightened squeak.
Maria’s gaze softened, and she murmured in a comforting, lowtone, “Oh honey, I know it’s sore. I promise, I only want to help.”
She’d quickly realised after fulfilling her dream of workingwith children that she had a natural talent for getting frightened little onesto put their faith in her, trust her at their most vulnerable moments andbelieve her when she smiled and told them that everything was going to be okay.
Of course, Maria had had plenty of practise doing that, withone scared, frightened little girl in particular, her little Susan, her dove.She’d somehow made those words believable back then, as she’d pressed Susie’sthin little body against her chest like she could somehow fold her up good andsmall and tuck her away safely in her heart were no whisky stained breath andcareless swinging fists could hurt her.
Doing it now, for these sweet kids, was so much easier. Becausenow Maria knew it was true, things really were going to be okay.
Liza peeked out at her auntie dolefully, her pain brightenedeyes making her look like a little jungle mammal. Maria smiled encouragingly,the deep red lipstick perfectly applied to her lips enchanting the little girland earning her the last scrap of trust she needed.
Maria loved the bright red lipstick she wore, she always hadever since she’d saved up her money for two weeks as a thirteen-year-old dizzyon freedom and independence, to buy her first tiny stick of it from the grown-upcounter of the department store. It made her feel powerful, strong, made herstand just a little taller.
James had told her it made her look like a whore.
Now, every time Maria put on that lipstick in the bathroommirror while Susie sang loudly and tunelessly and beautifully in the shower orsaw the smudges of it on the lid of her coffee cup halfway through the day ornoticed the gloss of it on the lips of her girlfriend Martha, the ghost oftheir sweet goodnight kiss that made Maria’s heart soar because yes, such a honeyperfect moment deserved to live on; every time she saw it, Maria would grin andfeel such pride, her painted lips would turn upwards in a stunning smile.
James could keep his words. She had things that were real.
 Once she could carefully study Liza’s little arm, pokinggently at her tawny skin, she could nod and keep her promise. Everything reallywas okay, nothing broken, just a nasty sprain and probably some internalbruising. Wearing a sling for a few days and a short course of painkillerswould take the youngest Hamilton back to her usual bouncy self. She’d betumbling out of the ancient, awkwardly curving oak tree and (hopefully) intoAlex’s arms by next Sunday.
“See, pumpkin?” Maria beamed as she expertly tied the knot behindher curtain of curls, “Just got to wear your special pirate sling for a whileand all the hurt will be gone.”
“What do we say to auntie Maria, Liza?” Eliza smiled proudlyfrom where she perched on the examination table, swinging her legs. Though whoshe was prouder of out of her daughter and her friend, it was impossible tosay.
“Thank you!” the girl with Eliza’s name and Alex’s features,the perfect mix of both her parents, chirped brightly and pulled Maria down bythe lapels of her coat for a kiss on the cheek.
Maria grinned so wide it illuminated her whole face, givingLiza a kiss right back so she ended up with a perfect red lipstick kiss on onecheek and waving as the little girl suddenly forgot all about her injuries andwar wounds and sped out of the nurse’s office, determined to go play with thetoys she’d seen in the waiting room.
Eliza shook her head fondly, sighing and looping the oldbeaded purse she’d carried around as long as Maria had known her, “That girl…”
“She’s wonderful,” Maria smiled and she meant it.
“So, how’s the rest of your week been?” she continued, hertone somehow always that bright and cheerful and ringing with the truth thatshe honestly did want to know the answer, “Apart from being run off your feetpatching up my family, I mean?”
Maria chuckled, leaning against the counter, “You guys keepme busy, I’m not complaining.”
“I am,” Eliza rolled her eyes, “With as many kids as I have,you’d think one would have some sense of self preservation…”
“They’re too much like their father,’ Maria shrugged placating,“Well…I’ve yet to see Jamie in here?”
Eliza shook her head, “No dice. His hands are covered inburns. He insists that all good chefs have them.”
“Occupational hazard,” Maria smiled fondly, thinking of thebox of frankly heavenly peanut butter brownies the quiet, contemplative middleHamilton had given her the other week. They’d been so good, she and Susie andMartha had gone through the whole lot over the course of one Disney moviemarathon.
Maria could remember a time when she’d so carefully guardedeverything she ate, not just because there was little of it and her daughter’sneeds always came first but also because even the slightest hint of a curve inher stomach, thighs or hips would bring down a hail of cutting words that madeher not want to get out of bed, to pull the covers up over her head and sinkinto a world of sleep where she didn’t have to look at herself in anyreflective surface.
Now she ate happily, she ate freely, she ate just to tastenew things and revisit old favourites and just because she simply wanted to.And the mornings Maria didn’t want to get out of bed were usually becauseMartha would be wound around her, nuzzling at the musky hollows in Maria’s neckso pleasantly. And she looked at herself in the mirror proudly, fondly, likeshe was looking at the face of a friend rather than someone who she didn’t understandand felt betrayed by.
“Hey,” she chirped, a bemused smile spreading over her face,“What you said back there, about how you’re sorry your kids are like you? Whatdid you mean there?”
Eliza blinked, tilting her head in that way she did, “Oh!Oh, the clumsiness, the constantly getting bashed about, that’s all from me.”
Maria was surprised, “I thought it was Alex?”
Eliza grinned, shaking her head almost proudly, “Nah, allme, hon.”
“No way!”
“Yes way!” her friend giggled, “I’ll prove it.”
Eliza began rolling up the sleeves of her cream colouredblouse, revealing her slim arms, “Okay, brief history of baby Eliza Schuyler’sexploits…”
She pointed with one prettily painted nail in a slate grey(done by Alex, Maria guessed, the guy had an odd talent for it) and she noticedan old faded scar.
“That one’s from where I fell into the pond out back of myparents’ place to save a duckling from getting eaten by a heron…” the finger travelledup and found another, slightly more gnarled scar, “That’s from where I fell offthe roof, a baby blackbird got wedged in the gutter…,” a ridge of puckered,slightly shiny skin, “There was a fire in the barn one really hot July and Iran in to go rescue our gardener’s dog’s litter of pups…that one I got when theladder slipped when I was painting the roof of my fort…see, there? I fell offsome rocks down by the seaside and got my leg trapped…oh, my nose is crookedright there cos I was sliding down the banister and cracked my face off thetiles…”
Maria was creased with laughter, “Oh my god, Eliza!”
“So yeah,” Eliza blushed a little but she was laughing too, “Youcan blame my Alex for a lot but not that. That one’s on me.”
“Well, I’m glad you calmed down,” Maria chuckled, “Go on,get out before I start to lecture you…”
Eliza gave an exaggerated look of horror and dived for thedoor, pausing just before she moved out of sight, “Thanks for everything Maria.See you this weekend, yes?”
Maria nodded, “Sure,” her smile widened, “Wouldn’t misscelebrating you giving me another baby Hamilton to patch up every other day.”
Her eyes flickered down to Eliza’s abdomen, making herfriend flush with happiness. Maria was one of the few people she’d told so far.
Once the goodbyes were said, Maria closed her eyes, stillsmiling, feeling like she’d always be smiling for the rest of her life.
She’d never felt so warm.
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mrandyzavala · 7 years
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To The Maryland Zoo Team
Oh, Maryland Zoo people....I am so sorry.
<3
For those of you who don't know, Maryland Zoo has had two giraffe births within the past few months.  The latest, a male named Julius, was born on June 15th.  What happened afterwards is a story that so many of us have experienced, but have a lot of trouble not only processing internally, but expressing to people who have no idea what it is like to care for animals in this way.
Our critics often take opportunities where animals are ill, injured, or dying to rake us over the coals.  Most people, even those who do not necessarily support zoos or aquariums, are decent human beings who do NOT leave heartless, cruel Facebook comments about these situations.  However, it is the small minority of thoughtless people who make what is already an incomprehensible loss into a horrendous nightmare.
What a great idea! Everyone is doing it!
In the case of the little giraffe calf, his story played out in a way I think many of this blog’s readers will relate to.  He was born to a loving, doting mother but for whatever reason, Julius did not nurse successfully.  This is not an unusual situation in both captive and wild mammals, especially with mammals whose childhoods are long investments of maternal care. 
When nursing doesn't go as planned in these animals, animal care professionals must weigh their options on how to proceed.  Some facilities choose to let nature take its course, which is of course what happens….in nature.  That is not “good” or “bad”.  Nature is what nature is, it does not care one way or the other how the story ends.  And some well-respected zoological communities feel that it is in the animals’ best interest to experience life as naturally as possible, which might result in a hands-off approach when a baby is failing to thrive. 
Brookfield Zoo staff helping a newborn dolphin
Some facilities choose to intervene if it is a) safe for the humans involved (remember, many of these animals are massive, not to mention mom is not necessarily going to think rationally when someone comes in and messes with her baby who is struggling) and b) in the best interest of the baby him/herself.  Some babies, like bottlenose dolphins, are extremely fragile when they are first born.  They can literally have a heart attack if they get super scared.  Their mom and/or other family members may freak out if something outside of their experience happens after the calf is born, like a pool dropping or attempting to handle their calf (which is why it is so awesome that some marine mammal facilities teach their dolphin moms to do husbandry-related behaviors that entail scenarios commonly encountered in intervening with a neonatal calf).  Big dolphins freaking out around brand new babies can result in fatal injuries to the baby.  
So it isn't an easy decision to make with large mammals, because there are a lot of factors to consider on top of what the baby him/herself is going through medically.  
Once a decision is made to intervene, everyone remotely involved with the department is usually scheduled for some grueling Waffle House shifts.  Waffle House shifts.  You know, because the only place that you can guarantee will be open to feed you no matter what time you get off, no matter what you are wearing, no matter what you smell like, is good ol' Waffle House. Some places will recruit help from other animal departments, or ask for volunteers depending on how the facility is organized.  This might mean you work 12 hour shifts.  Maybe you work your normal eight or ten hour day, and then come into work in the middle of the night for a few hours, then get up a few hours later to do it again.  Chances are, your weekends and vacation plans are cancelled.   Your life becomes work and sleeping (where and when you can) and little else for the indefinite future.
Your life is one big Waffle House shift
Why is this? Well, in general, most critical cases require consistent medical treatment.  Medication courses may have to be given at certain times through the day and night.  For example, I worked with a dolphin who had an abscess on her lung.  The course of her antibiotics required a 24 hour feeding schedule for many, many weeks that needed to be strictly adhered to, because lung infections are not easy to treat (and she made a fully recovery, so happy ending to that story!).  Other types of medical therapies may require multiple treatments within a 24 hour period, too.  Continuous observation is usually a part of this as well, which means an alert staff member or two is watching the animal for any changes in behavior.  Try staying awake in the middle of the night for 8 to 12 hour shifts never taking your eyes off the animal in your care, unless you have to use the bathroom.  
But when a baby needs critical care, this requires even more effort.  Even if the baby is 100% healthy, her or she needs to eat regularly…more than an adult or juvenile would.  Human moms know what I’m talking about.  Infants and babies in many non-precocial mammal species go through a period I like to call The Red Zone where they basically eat, sleep, and poop in 2 to 4 hour cycles, pausing not a wink for their moms/dads/guardians to catch up.  If a giraffe isn't able to nurse properly from mom, then humans take over mom’s role. 
MD Zoo staff bottle feed Julius
Feeding a baby in this way is not as easy as it seems in the movies, either.  You don't just provide a bottle, snuggle with the baby as he or she feeds lazily in your arms, and then upload all your adorable selfies to your Insta account.  No.  You have to MAKE the formula (oh my GOD and if it’s a dolphin calf, there is usually some amount of fish oil involved which gets everywhere and you will never, ever smell like a human being again, sorry).  You have to account for every calorie; this is not just a simple “dump the powder into the water and shake shake shake and eyeball the amount eaten” situation.  Every. Calorie. Counts.  You make the formula, you pour it into whatever feeding device you’re going to us, and then you triple-check the amount before, during, and after each feeding.
This is an insanely emotionally challenging time for EVERYONE involved, human and animal alike.  Baby animals in critical condition brings its own sort of emotional torment, because it isn't uncommon for them to start to really rely on their human caregivers for all of the other needs he/she would be getting from mom, (or in alloparenting species,o ther members of the herd/pod/pride/whatever).  Social mammals NEED social contact, and not just for touchy-feely reasons.  Loving physical contact paired with creating a sense of security has a direct impact on healthy development.  If baby is surrounded by loving human caregivers, baby will start relying on those caregivers (in full or in part) to provide that contact and security.
I LURV YOU
So now you have a critically ill baby, who relies on YOU 100% for every need he/she has.  No worthy keeper takes this responsibility lightly.  Most of us fall head over heels in love and toss our life’s plans aside as we work ourselves to death to try to help this little life.  After only a couple of days, the only way we can get through our day is the time we spend with the animals.  But when we get downtime, we fall into tortured sleep filled with nightmares or we pass out into a restless state of unconsciousness until we return back to work, hopeful that the tides have turned in the baby’s favor.
It is an indescribable feeling to see a baby who was previously not doing well suddenly turn the corner and flourish.  Life slowly gets back to “normal”.  Everyone is happy.
But sometimes, the baby is too good for this world.  Such was the case with Julius.  It is especially hard when you know that they are not going to get better, especially when it is a long, slow road to that fate.
<3 <3 <3
So now I'm going to directly address all of you who worked with this little calf….but to anyone reading this who has been through a similar situation, this applies to you, too.
Maryland Zoo team Julius peeps, you are amazing.  I mean, it’s amazing enough that you did literally EVERYTHING remotely possible for that little guy.  Not only did you do everything you could for Julius, you set an example for how this kind of situation should be treated.  Keeping the wellness of Julius as your North Star, you balanced his needs with the possibilities available.  Not only that, you kept the public aware of what you were doing.  They got a look into what it takes to provide that level of care to a wild animal calf.  I mean, people in my forensics lab were talking about it with a tremendous amount of respect and concern.  
I know what it is like to watch a baby move in the wrong direction.  I know how heart-wrenching that is, especially when you start to second-guess decisions you have made, or ones you may have to make.  THEN, no matter how hard you try to cement yourself to the soulless comments about Julius and zoos and what you do for a living, you still somehow read or hear a comment that frays your last nerve and breaks you down, when you've been barely holding on. 
Look at this incredible group of people!
But listen to me.  All that matters is what you did for Julius, no matter what role you played.  Here is what he needed: Love, security, basic physical needs met, and medical treatment.  Here is what you gave him: Love, security, basic physical needs met, and medical treatment. 
The experience that little giraffe calf had is impossible to know for sure, but logically let’s think about this.  Even if he didn’t feel well or physically comfortable as his health declined, all of his needs were met.  He did not have to spend a moment afraid.  He did not have to spend a moment unloved.  We know that is not often the case in animals in the wild in similar situations.  
The emotional torment you guys experienced with him, and are dealing with now in a different way, is NOT what he experienced.  If Julius gets to fill out a survey in the afterlife about his time on earth, his “Additional comment” section would probably say something like, “I got lots of love and I was basically a social media giant.  Would recommend.”
And I agree with this review!
No matter what your internal conversation is with how everyone played out, or how hard it is to read media coverage and see the disgusting comments below the articles….that does not change the fact that Julius lived and died, fully and completely loved.  THAT is why you guys get up each morning.  If you feel unappreciated, know that I bet Julius and his mom appreciated what you did.   Know that the awful comments you're reading are just words typed quickly on a keyboard....which is NOTHING compared to the weight of the work you did to care for an animal in his greatest time of need. Know that the rest of us in the zoo field appreciated what you did.  We stand in solidarity with you. 
A giraffe, a dolphin, a lemur, a caiman…I don't care what animal you care for, we know that they all deserve to feel secure and loved, in whatever way they perceive those things.  It is never easy to provide that in medically critical situations, and yet time and again we do it.  We know our hearts will be ripped out, that we may have nightmares about it for years to come, but those consequences do not stop us from being there 100% for animals who not only NEED that level of care, but DESERVE IT.
Thinking of you, Maryland Zoo. 
Rest in peace, little guy.
from The Middle Flipper http://ift.tt/2uwMX0V
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