#not about anything in particular we just talk about songs we like and who our fav characters are etc.

[melancholicbutterflies]

a Papa Bear story

♡ PART III ♡

Summary: Your best friend invites you over for your first sleepover!

Tags/Warnings: protective!elvis, mentions of corporal punishment

Word Count: 2,858

YOU WERE SO excited. Finally, you'd been old enough to be allowed to take part in your very first sleepover! Your good friend Macy had invited you and, after a brief talk with your momma, plans were underway. After school on Friday, Macy's momma would pick you two up and you'd go to the mall for a bit to shop and walk around and have dinner, and then you'd go to their house to hang out. Macy said they had a whole slew of movies and it was really up to them; in their household things were laxer, and you couldn't wait. You loved your momma and step daddy but gosh, Elvis could be really strict and there didn't always seem to be a rhyme or reason why, at least in your young, early adolescent mind. Since the next day was Saturday, Macy's momma would drop you off sometime in the afternoon, so you could sleep in and just have a ball.

The only thing that concerned you some was your momma hadn't mentioned anything about Elvis knowing about your plans. He wasn't home, on a tour somewhere out west and had been for a few weeks now, and so he wouldn't have known right away anyhow, but usually he liked to be updated and would call frequently, insisting to speak to you. Ever since your conversations, and when you'd become a woman as he called it (you still didn't quite feel that way), he seemed to keep an even keener eye on you. It was not unusual for him to inquire about your who with and how you were spending your time, but not in any sort of way that made you think it was purely out of curiosity. There was always this undercurrent of if you said the wrong thing he'd be angry with you, and even in the few years you'd known him you just couldn't take him being upset with you for any reason.

Macy appeared to have a very different relationship with her daddy. He was often around because he worked a nine to five job, but she talked to him in a way that would have earned you a spanking for being 'disrespectful'. In fact, there seemed to be very few rules in her household, something that made you in awe of and somewhat frustrated. After all, why couldn't you get to do what you wanted whenever you wanted and how you'd like it?

Macy's momma waved to you from her minivan, smiling. She was leant up against it, smoking, as she waited for you two to finish up and walk over. "Great to see you, Y/N!" She brought you in for a hug, already feeling very familiar. Her affection was a nice change of pace from your momma who you loved but wasn't oft to show it so demonstrably as your daddy. She gave Macy the same treatment with an added zealous kiss on the crown of her head. "Feel like getting some ice cream on the way?" She asked, going around to the driver's side. "I know we probably shouldn't spoil our dinners, but, what the heck, I say?!"

"Yay!" Macy cried, and your eyes widened as you looked at her in excitement. "Could we really?" You asked.

"Sure, why not? It's Friday, and you girls are always working so hard in school. You deserve a treat!"

It was hot as Hades, and so the line was unexpectedly short. Not long after you were on your way to the mall with three single scoop ice cream cones in hand, and the windows down letting in some much needed breezy air. "Any shops you girls want to look at in particular?"

"Oh, well, there's this jewelry store I wanna look at. How about you, Y/N?"

"I didn't have any I thought of, I'd be happy to just walk around with you."

Macy turned you, suddenly mischievous. "Ooh, what if we run into some cute boys from school?"

You paused in licking your ice cream cone, unable to stop your glance from flicking between your friend her mom, who seemed preoccupied singing with the song on the radio. "Oh, I don't know."

"Why not? I heard Tommy comes here all the time." Tommy was a boy in your class that Macy really liked. You just thought he was annoying, but his friend was a lot nicer you thought. You just never tried anything because of the conversation you recalled with your step daddy. He'd been pretty clear about how he felt about boys.

"Y/N!" Macy moved a hand in front of your face to get your attention.

"Yeah, maybe. We're just there to have fun though."

The first shop you went into was the one that Macy was set on. It was sort of girly, but had jewelry and earrings for every kind of piercing you could put in your ear. "Look at me!" She cried, looking from the mirror to you in a whole set of costume jewelry.

"You look so cool," you agreed.

Later on you found a case of different sunglasses and tried those on, striking ridiculous poses to each other. Marcy's momma was always near but didn't supervise you closely. She was sitting on a bench outside one of the stores you were in thumbing through a magazine with Grace Kelly on it.

Macy's hand came on you suddenly and she leaned in to whisper in your ear, "don't look now, but I think that's Tommy and his friend over by the hot dog stand. I said don't look!"

"How am I supposed to see them?"

She sighed. "Well, fine, but just don't make it obvious. I don't want them to think we're some kind of creeps staring!"

You refrained from telling her that was exactly what you were right now, but did as she bade. Inconspicuously you saw his friend was the one you had a small crush on, Danny. They were both pretty oblivious, talking and laughing and carrying on in their own little bubble.

"Should I go up to them and say something?" Macy asked. "What do you think?"

"I don't know—"

"You're right, too forward. maybe we should pretend to walk in front of them and not see them, and they'll say something? Then it was their idea."

"I guess." You didnt want to come off as a stick in the mud, but you kept hearing your daddy's words in the back of your head. If he knew you were even thinking of talking to boys he'd be furious with you. And with your momma for allowing it to happen. As if it was her job to guard you. Again you felt some resentment creeping in: Macy didn't have to worry about any of that. It just wasn't fair.

Your inner dialogue was interrupted as Macy tugged on your arm insistently, "come on, let's pretend to walk by them. Tommy better say something," she grumbled. You didn't have any reason to fight her on it and decided to just play along. Macy was pretty demanding when she wanted to be.

The boys hadn't seen you at first, but when Macy made a show of stopping to tie her shoes in front of them they finally noticed you. "Hey, it's, um, Mary, right?" Tommy spoke first, glancing between the two of you. "Macy," she corrected, smiling wider than you'd ever seen her smile. "And you're Tommy, right?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"We have a bunch of classes together. Actually, we sit near each other in home ec. This is my friend, Y/N, she in our grade too."

"Hi," you greet shyly, trying not to look at Danny for too long. He was even cuter up close!

"Y/N," Danny said, "I remember you. You're the girl who's super good with numbers!" He seemed very impressed by this, and you were tickled that he noticed you, even if it was for something pretty nerdy.

"Thank you! And um, you're really good in English."

"Yeah, maybe we should tutor each other," he laughs. He doesn't realize you latch onto this, desperately hoping it could happen. You could see it now.

Tommy's digging his hands into his jean pockets, swaying back and forth on his heel. "Well, I reckon we should probably get going. Got a movie we're seein' tonight."

"Without your folks?" You asked.

The boys turned to look at each other and laughed. "Yeah, our folks trust us, you know."

No, you didn't, but you nodded like you did.

"It's a real scary one," Danny added. "'The Bloodening', it's called. Have you gals heard of it?"

"Woah, that's a real creepy one!" Macy said, and you mirrored her expression as if you had any idea of what they were talking about.

"Yeah, so we better get goin'. Nice to run into ya though. You girls take care all right?"

"We will!"

"Thanks!" You said.

Macy turned to you afterwards and giggled. "Why did you thank them?"

"I have no idea!" You laughed.

After eating some Chinese for dinner, Macy's momma drove you back to their place. They lived in a quiet neighborhood with a lot of similar looking houses next to each other. It wasn't as nice as Graceland, far from it, but for ordinary folk you think it was pretty nice.

The first thing you did was get changed into your PJs. Macy's were a little blander than yours, and for the first time you felt a little ashamed at how you looked.

"What is that?" She giggled, eyes racing up and down your bunny pajamas. "It's so..."

"So what?" You asked defensively. your daddy had picked it out special for you and you hadn't the heart to tell him it wasn't quite your style anymore but you'd be damned if you let someone else make fun of it, even your good friend.

"Well, you know. It's pretty cutesy, right? Why'd you pick out one like that?"

"All of my PJs are like this," you shrugged your shoulders, turning around to brush your teeth, which as you'd learn was a mistake since you'd dig into a bowl of candy and popcorn for the flick soon.

"What do you mean they're all like that? That?" She asked incredulously.

"Yeah. My daddy picked it out for me and he likes it so I... like it."

You were met with some silence and you glanced in the mirror at Macy who was looking at you a little strangely.

"What?"

"I don't know, Y/N, that's sort of weird."

"What, like your parents don't buy you clothes sometimes?"

"Yeah, when I was little little, not now. Well, once in a while mom will take me shopping but it's pretty much up to me what I wanna wear as long as it isn't too racy."

Your brows furrowed as you spit into the sink, washing your mouth out. Was it odd that your daddy still picked your clothes out for you? Macy getting to wear what she wanted was an entirely new concept to you, one you didn't think would be possible until you were at least eighteen and could make your own decisions. Was this what other girls your age were doing?

"Sorry, Y/N, I didn't mean to make you feel any type of way," Macy said, realizing your quiet must have signaled you were upset with her and feeling self-conscious.

"You didn't," you lied.

"Well, if I did, I'm sorry anyhow. I mean, we're all brought up different, I guess... I guesss if your daddy still wanted to pick out your clothes for you that ain't got anything to do with me. Just thought it was a bit weird is all."

"Yeah..."

"Come on, let's go watch that movie! It's an action one. You like that kind of stuff?"

"Oh, yeah!"

"Momma's bringing in some candy and popcorn for us. Guess I should have said that before you started brushing your teeth," she smiled.

You followed her out to the living room as she set the movie up. It was a much smaller screen than you were used to, and it took some finagling to get it the way you needed it to see properly. As the movie started you began ruminating on all that had transpired earlier in the day and it became hard to focus on the plot. Just how different was your life made out to be, you wondered, and was all of it really for the right reasons?

The next morning you woke early to the sound of hushed voices arguing. Glancing to your right, you saw Macy was knocked out cold, drool lining her pillow. The time, which was visible on the nightstand in between your respective beds, read '6:05AM'. Thinking this might have been Macy's dad, you nearly went back to bed but you caught sight of a familiar looking Cadillac parked diagonally on the driveway. If you looked closer you could see slight squeal marks. you'd seen the car enough times to not have any doubt in your mind who it belonged to.

Your step daddy Elvis was here.

Walking quiet as a church mouse around Macy and further still to the door, you cracked it open a smidge to listen in on the heated discussion, knowing you'd be able to hear from your position; Macy said she listened to her parents all the time as voices carried easily up the landing outside her bedroom.

"...You can't just burst in here like this, Elvis...." This was clearly Macy's momma talking. "Yes, I know who you are, but it's unreasonably early and... that's nice you don't care, but what I'm saying is it's just not right... okay, I accept your apology, but please don't...!"

There was a slight crash and the sound of heavy footsteps thudding up the stairs. When you looked up it was your step daddy, eyes burning and fists clenched at his side. He looked like he'd just come back from his tour, wearing fancier clothing than he usually did while home. When he took notice of you by the door, he deflated some, although the ire in his eyes never disappeared.

"Girl, you are in a lotta trouble. Wait till I get my hands on you!"

"Elvis, daddy, please don't! I'm having a lot of fun here! It's my first time!" You begged.

"Your first—" his mouth open and shut like a fish. "What in blue blazes are you talkin' about, honey?!"

"My first sleepover," you replied morosely. And your last, judging by how upset Macy's momma sounded. The normally calm and collected woman sounded angrier than you'd ever heard her. You could just see her forbidding her daughter from talking with you again. You couldn't lose your best friend because of your daddy's temper, you just couldn't!

Elvis let out a deep sigh and turned his head and eyes skyward, as if asking for some divine intervention. "God help me..." He muttered, seeing your eyes tearing up now; it made him feel somethin' awful.

Looking back down at you and kneeling on one knee, he said, "I didn't realize how important this was to you, cupcake. I just wish your momma would'a let me in on what was happenin'. And you," his anger flared to life again, "how many times we talk on the phone and you ain't mention no 'sleepover, Elvis'."

"It was only last minute," you said, looking down.

"Uh huh." It was obvious he didn't believe you. You didn't know it, but you always had a tell of avoiding eye contact when you were fibbing, and Elvis had learned that early on.

"I'm sorry, Daddy." You ran into his arms to hug him in hopes he would calm down and go easy on you. Your touch was always soothing to him, and you were learning to use it to your advantage.

"Can't you see Daddy was worried, baby? I come home to find you not in your bed and your momma sayin' you went off with some people I don't know, never met... gotta understand it from my point of view, honey," he pulled you to arm's reach to look you in the eye.

"Yes, Daddy, I get it."

"You will," he said, raising a brow, "that lil' tush a' yours, cute though it may be, is gonna be mighty red when I'm through with it. I need you to be honest with me, darlin', and if that's the only way I'm gonna get it through that thick skull then I will."

Your eyes widened. Surely he hadn't meant right here and now?

Chuckling lowly, he mused your hair. "Not right now, honey. Later. When we're back in Graceland."

"You mean I can stay?"

He eyed you up and down for a moment, considering. "Oh please, Daddy! I'll do anything to stay! Please let me!"

"When you due back home?" He asked, scratching his chin.

"Only a few hours. They said they'd take me back early afternoon. Or Momma was gonna pick me up."

He pursed his lips. "I'll pick you up."

"I can stay?"

"Yes, sweet thing, you can stay."

taglist: @everythingelvispresley @dkayfixates @animalloverthingsss @suspiciousmindsxo @iloveelvis @18lkpeters @doll-elvis @ccab @elvisalltheway1 @satninroses @dkayfixates @darkmoviesquotespizza @jaqueline19997 @louisejoy86 @myradiaz @velvetelvis @sillybookmarks @alllriseabove @livelaughelvis @blog777e

#elvis presley #elvis #elvis fans #fanfic #fanfiction #elvis fanfic #elvis presley x you #elvis x you #elvis the king #elvis x reader #elvis presley x y/n #elvisaaronpresley #elvis x y/n #elvis presley x reader #elvis presley fanfiction #miniseries #a papa bear story #fluff #70s elvis #big daddy elvis #protective!elvis

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Charlie Rose: Listen to this, I hate to read too much, but this is, it's almost like they've been reading your book. This is from the New York Times for Friday May 24. "Americans flunk science, a study finds."

"Less than half of American adults understand that the Earth orbits the Sun yearly, according to a basic science survey. Nevertheless, there is enthusiasm for research, except in some fields like genetic engineering and nuclear power that are viewed with suspicion.

Only about 25 percent of American adults got passing grades in a National Science Foundation survey of what people know about basic science and economics."

I mean, this is singing your song isn't it?

Carl Sagan: Well, it's certainly what I'm talking about in "Demon-Haunted World." My feeling, Charlie, is that it's not that pseudoscience and superstition and new-age so-called beliefs and fundamentalist zealotry are something new. They've been with us for as long as we've been human. But we live in an age based on science and technology with formidable technological powers.

Rose: Science and technology are propelling us forward at accelerating rates.

Sagan: That's right, and if we don't understand it - and by we, I mean the general public - if it's something that, oh I'm not good at that, I don't know anything about it, then who is making all the decisions about science and technology that are gonna determine what kind of future our children live in? Just some members of Congress? But there's no more than a handful of members of Congress with any background in science at all. And the Republican Congress has just abolished its own office of Technology Assessment, the organization that gave them bipartisan competent advice on science and technology. They say, we don't want to know don't tell us about science and technology.

Rose: Surprising because Gingrich is genuinely interested, I think.

Sagan: He is, no question.

Rose: ... you know out of his own intellectual curiosity. Does the President still have a science adviser, at the White House?

Sagan: He does, he does, John Given. And the Vice President is scientifically literate, yes.

Rose: He's well known for being scientifically-- a science maven. I mean, you blast them all. Creationists, Christian Scientists who you say would rather allow their children to suffer than give them insulin or antibiotics. Astrologers come in for particular scorn on your part.

Sagan: Well, I wouldn't say scorn, just derision.

Rose: A more generous version of scorn. But what's the danger of all this? I mean, you know, this is not the thing--

Sagan: There's two kinds of dangers. One is what I just talked about, that we've arranged a society based on science and technology in which nobody understands anything about science and technology. And this combustible mixture of ignorance and power, sooner or later, is gonna blow up in our faces. I mean, who is running the science and technology in a democracy, if the people don't know anything about it.

And the second reason that I'm worried about this is that science is more than a body of knowledge. It's a way of thinking, a way of skeptically interrogating the universe with a fine understanding of human fallibility. If we are not able to ask skeptical questions, to interrogate those who tell us that something is true, to be skeptical of those in authority, then we're up for grabs for the next charlatan, political or religious, who comes ambling along. It's a thing that Jefferson laid great stress on. It wasn't enough, he said, to enshrine some rights in a constitution or a bill of rights. The people had to be educated and they had to practice their skepticism and their education. Otherwise, we don't run the government, the government runs us.

#Carl Sagan #Charlie Rose #science #technology #science and technology #The Demon Haunted World #religion is a mental illness

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Oh look more headcanons

Who'd have guessed

Not me for sure

Okay sorry I'll shut up.

I'm highly music-driven and have been for many many years of my life.

And I'm presently unreasonably obsessed with The Fratellis after suddenly remembering they exist after like fifteen years of not hearing a single one of their songs. Don't ask me, it just happened a couple months ago and I decided not to question it.

So this is really stupidly niche of me, but these are their songs/lyrics that I associate with the Best Boys™, in a Character X Reader sense. The songs that are typically playing halfway on repeat when I'm writing any of them lately.

The song-links go to Spotify. It's not necessary to listen to them, the lyrics here are the main catalyst, but if you want to listen I'm not going to complain.

no but please I hope you like the music that I like I have no one to talk to about it and as a half-assed musician it's literally killing me and

Anywho.

Zoro

Living in the Dark

I was nothing less than torn, crying out to be reborn

Come back, baby, you could make me happy,

Maybe you could prove me wrong

You're the only one who could ever save me,

Maybe you could prove me wrong

I've been living in the dark down here too long

The song itself is far more upbeat than I'd generally associate with Zoro, but the lyrics speak to me on his behalf. The upbeat tempo is the equivalent of what you do to his heart when you're near him; it's strange and unfamiliar, but it's nice. He's iffy about being close with anyone, and he won't admit it out loud but he wants to be.

He's been alone for years, for damned near all of his life, and you're like the light at the end of that tunnel. He might try to push you away or be aloof and impersonal at first because the thought of being vulnerable frightens him a little, but he wants to be proven wrong. He wants to let you in, and he's willing to try.

Sanji

Sugartown

I get the strangest sense we were lovers past-tense

Like a dog in heat I just can't be indiscreet

And when I see you there, I whisper my prayer, so sweet

I'm getting shakey on my feet, I'm incomplete

And if you just can't do me right

Then, honey, please, do me wrong

I'll be your one man band, I'll be at your command

Just say the word and I'll be your Renaissance man

This entire damned song is the anthem of Sanji. It's like a 1950's bop, the type of song that you can't help but smile at. It's sweet and cute and pining, just like our favorite chef. He's just utterly obsessed and hoplessly devoted to you and every single thing you do. He can't keep his eyes or his mind off of you at any given time.

Just the sight of you entering the room takes his breath away, puts stars in his eyes. He would do or give absolutely anything to have you and to keep you forever, and he's going to make sure you know it.

Shanks

Babydoll

Babydoll, do you believe they'll catch you when you fall?

And when morning comes, the sun is gonna shine

Don't forget, your minor keys your half-lit cigarette

'Cause when morning comes, I know that you'll be mine

So let me in

I'm ready to beg and to sing for my sins

Not leave it to chance and sweet coincidence

I don't know. The soft yet slightly playful tone of the song in general just screams Shanks to me for no reason I can completely put in words. This particular portion of the lyrics is what I associate most with him.

He knows he wants you, and he wants to make sure you know it. Not to beat around the bush about it, but not pressure you either. Just make sure you know how much he cares about you and be as gentle and sweet as possible to prove it...and he knows it's going to work, and that you're already his whether you know it or not. But jfc also imagine that goddamned voice of his calling you babydoll please excuse me I need to go touch grass now

Mihawk

Medusa In Chains

I'm not your miracle man, I'm not your spirit guide

Before this whole thing began I had some sense of pride

Just one more night with your lips, your company is hard to eclipse

Weak-kneed, yes indeed, guardanteed, make my heart bleed

Give me a reason to breathe, don't let my sun go down

I'll make you stand and recieve, I'll be your sacred ground

Be my Medusa in chains, petrified

Only your beauty remains

The entire song. The ENTIRE SONG screams Mihawk to me. Slow-burn and seductive from start to finish. I get the same exact chills from this song that I get when he delivers that "Magnificent" line.

Lyrically relevant too. Falling for you in spite of his pride (and he has a LOT of pride to get past). You're like nothing he has ever experienced and he's utterly and hopelessly addicted to you. As much as he wants to fight it, he can't. In the same breath that he's trying to push you away and retain some grip on himself he's also pulling you back for more. He hardly even knows who he is anymore when you're near.

#opla #one piece fanfiction #mihawk one piece #mihawk opla #one piece headcanons #fluff #mihawk x reader #shanks opla #dracule mihawk #sanji opla #sanji x reader #zoro opla #zoro x reader #zoro one piece #sanji one piece #shanks one piece #shanks x reader

[strbymacaroon]

❀ Confession ❀

❀ Priest Jean Kirstein x Nun Fem. Reader. ❀

❀ Sypnosis:

Sunday.

The day we dedicate to God, for he is our lord and savior. You, a dedicated Nun who wishes nothing more than to serve your savior. But, is starting to sin more often then normal.

With a certain desire for your priest…

Father Jean.

❀ Genre:

Attack on Titan, Priest Jean.

❀ Content Warning:

Absolutely filthy. Dark content! Slight voyeurism, degradation, cream-pie, unprotected sex, overstimulation, praise, filthy smut, slight oral sex, penetrative sex, dacrayphilla, etc.

❀ Word Count:

16 k words.

⊹ † ༻✦༺ † ༻✧༺ † ༻✦༺ † ⊹ 

Sunday morning. 

The light wind blew the melody of sweet songs, light dancing around in soft fragments, the stained glass catching it, and displaying the colors on the marble floor. Painting pictures of which only children’s wild imagination could understand. 

Clean, white, pure, just like the women and men inside the sacred building. If not, they are here for just that, cleansing, white, and purity. Forgiveness for the sins they have committed. Forgiveness for the sins they have yet to commit. For the people are God’s loyal servants, and wish to follow him into paradise once they fall into their eternal rest. 

A beautiful hundred foot ceiling above their heads, painted in the most rich of colors and pictures. Demonstrating the beauty and depth of what Christ has done for his people. Wooden seats decorating the floor, allowing God’s people a place to sit when Father preached the Holy Spirit. 

A stage decorated with soft pastel flowers, a white fabric draped over the stand of where Father preaches each morning of Sunday. Some bread and wine next to him when he did so. Velvet clothes decorating each table and floor. Crosses with the son of God resting above the stand. 

Jesus died for our sins. 

And, today was a simple day. Just confessions. People repenting the sins they had committed since their last confession. However, there was something different about today, and the next few weeks. Father was being observed by the Nuns of the church. Along with their novitiates. Sisters in training. Most were young, eighteen to nineteen, the oldest being twenty-four. They were always a delight to have over, along with polite. Father never minded their company. 

Quiet as a mouse and beautiful as a dove. Along with their dedication to their religion. Father loved the company of each one. Each of them huddled around each other, watching with eager eyes. Wanting to observe the process of forgiveness. 

Father approached the next person, placing his hands together, and holding them around the cross by his neck. Smiling kindly, his dimples molding into his cheeks, “For you, my child, are you ready?” His tone was soft, comforting, and warm. Just like a blanket fresh out of the Laundry. Opening an inviting, willing to forgive and bless. It is what everyone loved about the Priest. 

“Yes.” It was breathy, almost nervous. Fingers pressed against the soft white fabric of her dress, trembling slightly. Father was used to that. She thickly swallowed, “Anything for my God and Savior.” He smiled kindly, nodding his head. Bringing their foreheads close, two slender fingers pressed together. Dark brown eyes peering into the girl's light blue ones, drinking up every emotion shooting through her body. 

Nervousness, uncertainty, anxiousness, excitement, and eagerness. The eyes always reveal so much about the person, that’s why Father preferred to look into them. He always knew what type of person he was talking to just by looking into their eyes. 

She looked up, watching as Father bent his knees to reach her height. He was so much taller than her, so much bigger. It was intimidating. The novitiates watch closely. Leaning closer in hope of catching Father’s voice again. Kind yet deep, intimidating but interesting. All the women were practically leaning out of their seats. This priest in particular always causes this reaction with the novitiates, considering how young he was. A mere twenty-six years old. 

His fingers gently pressed against her upper chest, “In the name of the Father,” her left than right shoulder, “and of the Son of the Holy Spirit, Amen.” He backed up, watching the women. And, the novitiates watched as the woman bent her head down, hands pressed together against her lap. Closing her eyes and staying still. 

It was a way of separating the sinner to the saint. The blesser to the blessed. Father always was more than willing to help the sinners relish their sins. It was something he loved about his life, it made him feel closer to God. 

It was his heaven. This was his heaven. 

A brief pause, then, “Bless me Father Jean, for I have sinned.” 

⊹ † ༻✦༺ † ༻✧༺ † ༻✦༺ † ⊹ 

It was seven-thirty am. Your bed is freshly made, decorated with white silk sheets, along with soft pillows. An extra light pink blanket hanging off the edge of your bed frame, something you brought from home. 

Painted glass decorated your window, making it hard to see the beauty of the outside. However, you didn’t mind. The sun always reflected the light of the glass panels perfectly, making your room colorful. Maybe that’s why you were in charge of the children. Your room was big and simple, nothing but the necessities. Along with that, your bathroom was able to be locked and unlocked. Which made it the ideal children’s drop off zone. 

It was the children’s drop off zone. And, you were the caretaker. 

Currently, you are sitting in your vanity. Sister Mary standing behind you, trying to place your hair into your veil. A task you had trouble doing on your own. 

You straightened your back, eyes dancing over the cross on your neck.You mind was bouncing back to the sight from last week. Father Jean and the women asking for forgiveness. The isolation that ensued the moment the two started speaking. It felt like you shouldn’t have been watching. It looked so.. intimate. 

Something you didn’t know much about, due to your devotion to God. 

You parted your lips, “It looks so intimate Sister Mary,” you whispered, placing your hands on the vanity in front of you. Slowly moving it in circles, the mirror ahead of you following you every movement. “The Priest, and the people.” You mumbled, replaying the scene in your head like a movie. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. You crossed a leg over the other, “Is that what marriage looks like? Is that what it’s like?” Father Jean was always fresh in your mind. Of course, it was because he kept you close to God. Nothing else. 

She collected your hair together, trying to find a way to style it. Always treat your hair, then place it into the hairstyle. “Marriage is something we shouldn’t be thinking of Sister, for we are already wed to the Lord our God.” She hummed comfortingly, “And, it looks as if you’re in need of a haircut, Sister.” Her hands dropped your long silk strands, reaching for scissors on the vanity. Something you used when making crafts for the children.

You wanted to grab your hair from her hands, hold it tight and close. But, you grabbed the vanity instead. Keeping your hair short was practical, useful, and your sign of devotion. It showed you no longer wanted to follow the temptations of the world. Attraction. Cutting your hair was a way of showing you were refusing all the pleasures and temptations of the “outside world”.

And, wanting to keep it was a sin. 

You were sinning. 

You closed your eyes, not looking at the amount of hair Sister Mary was holding. It had to be to your shoulders, you didn’t want to think about it. It had been so long since you last cut it, and you were rather proud of the length you acquired. The care and nurturing you put into your hair, along with, you really enjoyed the way your hair looked on you. Of course, no one saw it, but it was a pleasure of your own. A secret sin of your own. 

“In the name of the Father, and the Son of the Holy Spirit..” Please forgive my secret sin, my one pleasure, but allow me this one thing. Allow me to enjoy my one pleasure, and I will do you with good in ten fold. “..Amen.” Your eyes fluttered open, watching as Sister Mary lifted her scissors, your hair held by her other hand. 

A knock at the door, followed by, “Sister Mary, I do apologize for the poor timing,” a deep and kind voice, warming– like a blanket fresh out of laundry, “but, I’m afraid I need you for something.” The door remained shut, your eyes peering at it. You wished for it to open. 

“Oh, of course Father, allow me.” She stood up from the seat behind you, placing the scissors down. Your eyes following the silver weapon. “I apologize, Sister. But, it seems that God has a different day planned for your length change.” She gave you a silly, comforting, smile, “Goodbye, Sister.” 

You gave her one in return, bowing your head. “To you as well.” Thank you Spirit, for sending one of your Angels. “Thank you, Sister Mary.” She gave you a brief nod before walking to the door. Cracking it open and speaking with Father Jean, giving him a kind bow. You couldn’t help yourself, but you leaned forward. Trying to catch a glimpse of the young saint. You didn’t know why you wanted to see him, but you did. And, you were eager to at that. 

Unfortunately, that was all you got. A mere glimpse of the man, his clothing. Black everything, his pants, shirt, and shoes. His collar was decorated in a brief white, along with a rosary resting on his chest. You wondered if he wore gold rings. Priests often wore gold rings. It was something you noticed from your two years of observing your religion. Something required to be a Nun. 

Father Jean was known to be the nicest man alive. A true saint with a golden heart. A man who does good purely to do good, with expecting nothing in return. A true ideal priest, someone you looked up to. Admired even. Even if you two haven’t spoken often. 

Your door shut behind Sister Mary, leaving you in the small room supported by the Church. “I thought she’d never leave.” You turned around, looking at your friend. Watching as she finally emerged from your closet. Since, she was hiding from Sister Mary. Visiting time wasn’t permitted at this moment. 

Her name was Sasha, a pretty girl she was. She had joined this path with you about a year ago, and since, you two have been inseparable. Well, that’s how it was with everyone of your Sisters. A total of five, including yourself. 

“I thought I was going to lose my hair, Sister.” You muttered, grabbing onto it instinctively. You didn’t want to lose that. “I believe, Sister Mary is too strict about trivial things.” I mean, it was 2022, not 1900. Couldn’t you have one pleasure as a Nun? Everything else about you was dedicated to the Lord. Quite literally. 

Your friend sat on your bed, brown hair decorating her shoulders. A small pout on her rose lips, “I like my hair short, so I don’t completely mind the haircuts.” She answered, “Besides, it’s more manageable.” Her hand went to her hair, grabbing a few strands of her bangs. Toying with the silky strands. 

“I know, but it think—“ you turned to the mirror, “I think it looks pretty like this.” You liked your hair, it was unique to yourself. Curly, twisted, long, thick, thin, straight, whatever you hair was, it was a perfect representation of you. That’s why you didn’t want to cut it. “I know, I shouldn’t, but I do.” You whispered. 

Sasha sighed, “How about this, tonight you and I go out to the garden.” She stood up from the bed, walking to you. Taking your hands into hers, “And, we enjoy the pool with the flowers that surround it. It’s said to be the most beautiful place in the church.” She gave you a soft smile, squeezing your hands. 

You blinked a few times, swallowing the saliva that built in your mouth. “Uhm— I,” you pressed your lips together, feeling them move without thought. Swimming in a pool sounds like... You eyes dipped to her chest, catching sight of her cross, you ended up shaking your head. “No, it’s okay, I’m fine. Besides, we’re not allowed to be seen outside of our assigned clothing. That would be a sin.” You disliked saying that word, you disliked it so much.

Because, so many things were considered a sin. 

Sasha nodded, letting go of your hands, “Of course, I forgot about that.” Her tone wasn’t as cheerful as it once was, just more monotone and disappointed. Her hands went to her side, “Let’s get dressed, once I finish I Promise to do your hair.” She said, forcing a smile in your direction. 

You couldn’t help, but give her a sad smile. The two of you didn’t choose to become Nuns, your families forced it upon you. Which, of course, made commiting to Christ more difficult than it normally was for Nuns in training. 

The two of you were young, a mere twenty, and you wished to experience youth like anyone else. Rather than being restricted by the word of God. Giving your body to Christ. Which meant, you were his bride. As a child, you didn’t think that your husband would be the very thing your family worshiped. And, what you repented. 

“How about we go and greet everyone who enters the church today?” You suggest, pressing the palms of your hands to your habit, making sure the silk wasn’t wrinkled. “That sounds like a joy.” You added a smile. 

“I want to swim.” Sasha said, pulling back and holding herself. “I don’t get why I can’t do that.” She mumbled, closing her eyes and sighing. “I just want to have some fun.” You reached a hand for her shoulder, watching her collect herself. Then, “In the name of the Father, and the Son of the Holy Spirit..” Silence. “..Amen.” 

You knew exactly what she was doing. Because, the both of you were conditioned to do it. 

Sasha fluttered her eyes open, slowly bringing her brown beautiful eyes to you. “Okay, let me go get ready.” Sasha pulled herself back, placing a foot behind another. Walking towards your door, while you turned your back to her, diligently watching her move through your vanity. And, she stood at your door. Hand on the handle, froze in her spot. 

You could feel your eyebrows mush, What was she doing? Was she okay? Was something wrong? You twisted your body around, your shoes clicking against the marble flooring as you made your way to her. Pupils moving up and down her frame. You couldn’t stop the word from slipping from your mouth, “Sasha?..” 

“Sister,” her voice made you flinch, stopping you in your tracks. “I’m going to ask Father Jean for forgiveness next week,” she mumbled. Turning her head over her shoulder. “Because, tomorrow tonight at twelve, I will commit a sin of my own pleasure.“ You disliked the fact that something so trivial as swimming, caused such a massive problem within your community. The two of you just wanted to swim. But, you couldn’t.. “And, I think you should join me.” Her words pierced your chest. 

And with that, she left. 

⊹ † ༻✦༺ † ༻✧༺ † ༻✦༺ † ⊹ 

Sunday 8:05 am…

The sound of birds was always the highlight of the morning for you. You loved watching them fly high in the sky. Oh—how you wished to fly free just like them. You always liked to imagine what type of bird you would be. Maybe a crow, you loved the sleek look of them. 

You smiled kindly at those who entered the church, hands pressed against your thighs everytime you bowed. Many of the people who visited this Church were either tourists or regulars. Considering how old and beautiful the building was, people always enjoyed the stunning scenery. From whichever belief they held. 

“Y/n!” You jolted at someone hugging your legs. Looking down at the small body. You couldn’t help but smile when he looked up at you. “It’s been forever since I last saw you!” He shouted. 

You giggled, pressing a finger to your lip. “Hush, love. Not so loud.” You sweetly said, not wanting to bring too much attention to yourself. You placed your hand on his head, pushing some short strands of hair from his face. “But, I’m so happy to see you!” You caressed his face comfortingly. 

His eyes blinked a few times, before a smile exploded from her face. “Me too! Me too!” He whisper–shouted, shoved his face in your habit, mumbling– “The house has been so lonely without you, Y/n.”

“That’s Sister, Luke.” Your father corrected, your mother not too far behind. You could feel your body just crumple, and tense together, almost like it was regressing. You absolutely disliked this part of the day. This was your least favorite part.

Luke looked back at you, a small pain in his eyes. “Oh yeah..” he mumbled, “Sorry, Sister.” His hands went behind his back, his head looking at the ground. 

You could feel your heart break. Before softly nodding, “No, it’s okay.” You reassured, placing your hand in his hair again and rubbing it. “Sometimes even I–” you sighed, your voice wavering for a moment, “Sometimes.. Even I forget.” You placed your hand behind his back, “Besides, you have all your other brothers and sisters!” He just merely nodded.

Your eyes shot to your parents, standing behind Luke. You smiled, before giving them a subtle bow. “Mom, Dad.” You said, “It’s a pleasure.” You stayed there for a moment, not wanting to come back up. It felt like you didn’t have the energy too. 

Your Mother hummed thoughtfully, “It’s good to see you too, Honey. It’s always so good to see how much you’ve grown.” Your Mother cupped your cheek and lifted your face. “We knew this profession was the one for you.” Her thumb rubbing your cheek was supposed to be comforting, it wasn’t. “See, and you didn’t want to do this at first.” 

You pressed your lips together, feeling them wiggle, before giving her a kind smile. “Of course, you two know me too well.” You looked between your Mother and Father. “I’m actually the caretaker for the children.” You added, hands fiddling with one another. 

Your Mother let out a small noise of excitement, “That’s wonderful, Sister. We always knew you were amazing with children.” Her hands went to yours, squeezing them. “You were always so good with your siblings.” Your Mother and Father were always working, so, being the oldest. You were the ones who took care of the children when they were gone. 

You nodded, “I love children.” 

Your Father nodded, while your Mother smiled. “We know, Honey. We know everything about you.” She patted your back, “Why else would we make you do this?” You gave another smile, keeping your body forward as they walked into the church. 

“Oh! And, Honey!” Your Mother called over her shoulder. You turned to them, “We’re dropping Luke off at the daycare, so you can spend some time with him!” She blew you a kiss, “Love you, Sister.” She turned on her heel, grabbing Luke by the hand and separating from your Father. Off to find your room. The daycare.

You shakily breathed out, not realizing you were holding your breath. Clasping your hands together and holding them near your face. Trying to recollect yourself. Closing your eyes and keeping them shut, tight. 

“Are you alright?” 

You fluttered your eyes open, keeping your gaze to the ground. “Huh?” You blinked a few times, “Yes, I’m–” You nodded to yourself, “I’m alright, just a bit.. tired.” Your voice was soft, strained almost. You let go of your hands, pressing them to your sides. 

The person laughed, “That’s good, we wouldn’t want a sad soul at Church.” Their voices cut into your head. Almost like a dizzying spell. So inviting and warm, almost like a scorching hug from an angel. 

Please don’t be.. “Father Jean!” Someone shouted, making the tall pastor turn his head. 

You gasped, turning your head to him. Instantly, your eyes met his side profile. A strong jaw, long lashes, pink soft lips, clear tan skin, and a nose built to perfection. His hair was soft, yet slicked back into a hairstyle he frequented. Dark blonde. What a pretty color. 

Father Jean’s face turned back, meeting your wide-eyed one. Jean’s face is in full display to your wavering eyes. And, that's where they went, to his eyes. A light brown reflecting perfectly in the light, displaying his soul to you. Such a pretty color. Such a pretty face. 

Wow. He’s so pretty. 

Your mouth parted, and his eyes went to your lips. Suddenly, you could feel your heartbeat speed up and flutter, your mouth was so dry. You felt nervous, really nervous. “F–Father Jean, I–” You thickly swallowed, “I apologize, I shouldn’t have–” 

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Sister. You haven’t done anything wrong.” He reassured, his eyes bouncing up and meeting yours. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” And, he smiled. He smiled. Your heart melted, your mind crashing. His smile was perfect. Dimples denting into his honey–like skin. So, kind and welcoming. It felt like you were home. 

“Yes, I’m– I’m okay.” You replied, giving him a forced smile, it was more of an awkward one. “But, aren’t you supposed to be getting ready?” You placed your hands behind your back, looking at the people entering the sacred building. “I mean, isn’t the sermon starting soon?” Your eyes were filled with worry. 

Jean laughed, shaking his head. “I’m afraid you're correct, but I’m not the one speaking today. Father Eren is.” He clarified, a big hand coming to his hair. Slicking back the fly aways, “I’m just just saying hello to everyone entering the Church.” You could hear the disappointment in his voice, even if it was subtle. 

You fluttered your lashes, biting the corner of your lip. “Do you want to–” 

“Yes, more than anything.” He quickly spoke, a smile appearing on his face again. “I love it, it’s one of my favorite parts about being a priest.” He sighed, placing his hands into his pockets. Looking at the sky for a moment, his neck is on full display to you. “But, I’m just going to be doing the body of Christ for today.” His smile wavered for a moment. 

“You sound disappointed, Father.” You noted, watching as he leaned his back against the building’s wall. “Is that something you don’t enjoy doing?” You took a step closer in his direction, tilting your head to the side. 

Jean echoed your moments, lowering his voice. “Don’t tell anyone, but it’s not my favorite.” He mumbled, slightly embarrassed by his confession. “I don’t know, I just don’t necessarily enjoy placing food in people’s mouths.” He visibly cringed, his nose scrunching in distaste. 

You giggled, a hand coming over your mouth. Jean smiled at your reaction, “Well, what’s your favorite thing to do then?” You curiously asked, toying with the cross around your neck. 

He blinked a few times, a chill going up his spine. He disliked when that happened. “Uhm,” He shook his head, “I actually really enjoy confessions.” He said, “It’s something that just makes me feel closer to God.” You watched as he smiled, again. He was such a bubbly and bright person. 

You were jealous. 

But, you could help but feel a part of your body regress at that. Jean was a priest, of course he was going to be extremely religious. He wasn’t like you.. Someone forced into this lifestyle. You subtly sighed, grabbing onto your arm. Not everyone here was like you, it was something you kept forgetting. 

Jean leaned his head back, looking to the side. Whispering, “Something I’ve been really needing this past week.” It sounded like he was talking to himself, rather than to you. And, it sounded like he didn’t want you to hear it. 

“Really?” You gasped, speaking before thinking. He gave you a look, making your face burn with embarrassment. “I mean! You’re just– you’re you! So, I would think..” You stopped talking, feeling your head screaming at you to stop. Pressing your lips together you turned away. 

He chuckled, silently reassuring you. “No, no, I get it.” He reassured, placing a hand on your shoulder. His thumb rubbing in circles, “Being who I am and all.” He could feel you shiver under his touch, and he froze. Before, he shook his head and pulled away, smiling at you kindly. “But, sometimes I have my moments where one or two unholy words slip.” 

You giggled, your hand meeting your shoulder. Already missing the contact between you two. “I guess that's true, Father.” Your mind rushed to this morning with Sasha, her words soaring through your head. “And, I think you should join me.” You thickly swallowed, wondering if you should take her up on her offer. 

“Well, Sister, I think I have to go.” Jean said, “Soon enough, Father Eren is going to start his–” He paused, not wanting to finish the sentence. “Anyways, he always gets bothered if I don’t attend.” His hand went to his hair, pulling back the fly aways. He gave you a final smile, “Until, we meet again, Sister.” 

You watched as he turned away. Entering the Church, just like all the other people. And, you couldn’t help, but feel empty. His company is an enjoyable and new thing to you, something you wanted to last a bit longer. Just a little bit longer. 

“Father Jean!” 

You gasped at your mouth, placing your hand over it. I really need to think before I speak. Jean looked over his shoulder, peering at you. Giving you another kind and acknowledging smile. He was waiting for you to speak. 

And, you didn’t know what to say. You felt your body freeze, “Next week– next Sunday,” you corrected, “I wish to confess, much like yourself, it’s something I’ve been needing this past week.” 

You couldn’t see it, but a shiver went down Jean's spine. And, the cause of it?... Jean thickly swallowed, keeping his face the same. “Of course, I’d be more than glad to be the one to guide you.” And with that, he turned his back to you and walked away. 

⊹ † ༻✦༺ † ༻✧༺ † ༻✦༺ † ⊹ 

“Luke, you can’t just!–” you pressed your lips together, taking in a deep inhale. “You can’t just leave the room without telling me, or Sister Mikasa.” You gestured your hand to the other Nun in the room. Her head turning to you briefly, and giving your brother a small smile. Before, returning to what she was doing. 

“I know, but–” He tried arguing. 

“No buts!” You added, placing your hand on his back and gilding him back into the room. Shutting the door behind you, “We have a restroom, food, coloring, and books. So, there’s no reason to leave, Luke.” You scolded, quickly observing him. Seeing how both his hands were behind his back, holding something. “And, what do you have?” Did he steal something?

Instant his hands were lifted up to your face, showing you a sheer pink scarf. He looked at the ground, “While walking here with mom, I dropped it, then went to go find it.” His fingers wrapped around the thin fabric, toying with the material. 

Your lips parted, guilt plaguing up your spine. “Oh, uh–” you shook your head, “You still should’ve told me, we could’ve looked for it together.” You cupped his cheek, bending down and kissing his forehead. “I just don’t want you getting hurt.” 

Luke nodded, “Okay, I’m sorry,” he mumbled. 

You giggled, grabbing the fabric from his fingers. Whispering, “But thank you, Luke.” You ruffled his hair, watching as his face lit up. Running into you and wrapping his arms around your legs. You laughed, nodding your head. You quickly stuffed the scarf into your habit, you find a place to put it later. 

It was something your grandmother gave you before her passing. Unfortunately, due to it being a pleasure, you weren’t allowed to bring it to the church with you. Which broke your heart to say the least. It was the only thing you had left of her. You refused to loose it. 

“Sister?” Mikasa called, glancing at your clock. “It’s about an hour to the body of Christ, should we start cleaning up?” She told you, holding one of the younger kids in her arms. Cradling her as she started to fall asleep. “Or, should we start taking the kids to the main room?” 

Mikasa was a woman a bit older than you, twenty. She was the embodiment of Sister Mary. Tall, kind, strict, yet relaxed. Her skin was soft and clear, like snow freshly laid. Lips pink and shiny, her cheeks lightly tinted red. Mikasa was someone you strived to be like, the ideal Nun. Graceful and beautiful, like a dove. 

Not a crow. 

You shook your head, “Parent’s sometimes pick their children up during the small break. We’ll start taking them in twenty minutes before the body of christ.” You stuffed the scarf into your habit. “But, starting to clean up, doesn't sound like a bad idea, Sister.” 

Mikasa nodded, placing the child down. Wrapping her with a soft blanket you laid out specifically for the children. “Okay children, how about we start cleaning up the play area.” She announced, smiling sweetly at everyone. The children groaned, which made you giggle. 

Mikasa walked into the play area connected to your room, flashing you a smile. “I’ll take care of the playroom cleaning, you want to take care of your room?” 

You nodded, “That works with me.” Mikasa nodded and walked into the playroom with all the children, Luke staying by your side. You sighed, looking down at him. “Want to help me clean?” 

Luke just nodded, picking up some of the drawings that were left on the floor. Your ears perked to the sound of knocking, immediately drawing your attention to your wooden door. Was a parent here to pick up their child already? 

You reached for the door, pulling it open. “Hello, and who would be your child..” 

Father Jean tilted his head to the side, a kind smile on his lips. “Don’t have any kids.” He looked to the side for a moment, before laughing to himself. “Yet.” 

You could feel your lips part for a second, before shaking your head. “Uhm, then– if you don’t mind me asking.. What do you need?” You placed your hands behind your back, feeling Luke behind you. Hiding behind your leg, looking at Father Jean. 

Jean’s eyes met your brothers, and he kindly waved at him. “It’s not a problem at all, Sister.” His eyes danced around the room, almost like he was looking for something. “Is Sister Mikasa here?” 

You could feel your heart squeeze for a moment, almost hurt. “Uhm..” You looked away. Your heart aching, why did it bother you so much? “Yeah, she’s in the playroom with the children cleaning up.” You pushed open the door, silently indicating for him to come inside. “I’ll go get her.” You pulled Luke with you, leading him to the room and telling him to help the children clean.  

Jean nodded, walking into the room. You quickly walked to the playroom, searching for Mikasa. “Sister,” you called, watching as her head moved to you. “Uhm, Father Jean is here for you.” You pointed inside your room. 

Mikasa’s eyebrows met together, almost in a concerned way. “Father Jean?..” She mumbled, standing up and stumbling over her footing. Which caught you off guard. Mikasa was always such a collected and calm woman, you’ve never seen her stutter– let alone trip over her own feet. 

What was worrying her?

“Did he say any reason to why?” Mikasa sounded– strained. 

“Uhm,” you looked back at Jean, then back to her. Shaking your head, “No, h-he just asked for you, that’s all.” You responded, moving to the side and allowing her to walk into your room. 

Mikasa’s hand rested on her waist, looking at Father Jean expectantly. “Father, you called?” She asked, head tilting to the side. “What do you need?” 

Jean’s eyes moved to you, then Mikasa. Smiling sweetly at her, “Father Eren is calling for you, I’d suggest going to search for him.” He looked to the side, “Actually, if I remember correctly, he’s in the small break area. You know how he is.” Jean smiled, “He needs his voice to rest before speaking again. He just wants your company.” 

Mikasa looked at you, “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I have to clean, maybe when we return the children to their parents for the body of christ.” She replied, about to walk back when Jean cut her off. 

“I’ll stay.” He said, walking to her and smiling sweetly. “You know Father Eren needs your  company to regain energy, I’ll stay.” He placed his hand on her lower back, leading her to the door. “Don’t worry, I work wonderfully with children.” 

Mikasa looked at you, “Oh Sister, I hope this doesn't bother you. Father Eren just gets… cranky when not tended to.” Her hands moved to hold each other, an act to comfort herself. “He’s such a child sometimes..” She whispered, more to herself then anybody. 

You couldn’t help, but look back at Jean. Your heart racing in your chest, the thought of spending one on one time with each other. Albeit, there were many children around– you were still grateful. Your crush on Father Jean could be sated with a mere glance his way. “N-no, it’s okay, Sister. It’s nothing to worry about, I’m sure I’ll be okay.” You kindly smiled at her. 

Mikasa returned it, before walking away. You slowly shut the door, back pressed to it as you looked at Jean. Heart racing in your chest, “Uhm, as of now we’re just cleaning up. Nothing too interesting.” You informed. 

“That’s fine,” he kindly dismissed, “Is there anything I can do to help.” His hand went into his pockets, “I’m all around when it comes to these things.” 

You giggled, cheeks burning. “Uhm, you can just help me here.” You gestured around your room, “I’m sure the children are having a field day noticing there isn’t an adult in the room.” You laughed to yourself, “Last time, one of the kids became the president.” There was a whole republican and democrat party. 

Jean laughed, hand covering his mouth. “I think I heard about that.” He said through laughs, “If I remember correctly, the party names were onion and apple, right?” 

You giggled, nodding your head. “It was crazy what can happen within a few minutes.” You replied, kneeling to the ground and continuing to pick up all the papers. Being careful not to wrinkle any of the drawings. 

Jean watched you, “Kids are so creative nowadays.” Jean walked towards you, lifting your head. “Wait, you have something in your..” He pulled off the piece of paper, holding it in front of you with a smile. “Here.” 

You smiled, taking the paper from him. Eyes fluttering as his hand pulled away from his face, his contact burning into your skin. “Thank you.” you whispered. Eyes looking up at him. 

Jean blinked a few times, his Adam's apple bobbing before he smiled. Dimples denting into his perfect skin, “Of course, anything for you, Sister.” He pulled back, hands going back into his pockets. 

You were going to make conversation again, when he spoke. “I’ll go help the children, we don’t need another party debate.” Jean turned on his heel, walking into the other room. Leaving you sitting on the heels of your feet. 

Did he not want to speak with you? 

It wasn’t long before the cleaning had finished, and Father Jean had to leave. Which you couldn’t help, but feel hurt by. Mikasa had finally returned as well, so at least you weren’t the only one taking care of the children. Which was a relief. 

You nodded to yourself, before turning to the children in the room. “Okay, okay. Children!” you announced, watching as all the small heads turned in your direction. “We’re going to start heading down to the church hall, start cleaning up so we can leave.” You informed, grabbing a piece of paper from the ground and tossing it in the trash.

“Bread!” A small child shouted, making you giggle. 

“Wine!” 

You could feel your eyes widen, looking at Mikasa, seeing she was holding a similar expression. Before the two of you burst out laughing, looking away from the child. She placed her hand on their head, “Maybe, not wine.. But, there will definitely be bread.” She corrected. 

“I believe Father Jean is doing bread today,” Mikasa loudly remarked, looking at you. You couldn’t help but notice how her cheeks darkened in color, a smile plastered over her lips. “That’s something I don’t want to miss.” 

You felt your eyebrows come together. Did she… like him? You brought your head down, “Looks as if you really like, Father.” You smiled at the baby in your arms. Pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, your eyes glancing up for a second. Looking at Mikasa’s reaction to your statement. You felt your eye twitch. 

Mikasa had her hands pressed to her face, covering the massive blush decorating her face. “Is that what people think?..” She muttered, looking at the ground. 

“No.” You respond instantly, before quickly catching yourself. “I was just messing with you, I didn’t think..” That was a lie, you knew. You just asked Mikasa to confirm your suspicion. Wait.. you just sinned, again. What was happening to you?.. 

It didn’t take long before the two of you were leading the group of children to the main hall. Reunited them with their loving parents. Before going into line for the body of Christ. You joined along with your family, standing behind them. Making brief conversation with your parents. 

You sighed, finding yourself at the front of the line. Keeping your gaze to the floor, finding yourself exhausted from speaking with your parents. 

“Sister.” Someone greeted. And, you wanted to die on the spot. From your last interaction, you wondered if he wanted nothing to do with you. He dismissed you so quickly…

“Father,” you returned, “Nice to see you again.” You lifted your head again, smiling at him. 

Jean nodded his head in return. “It’s nice to see you as-well, Sister.” He grabbed a thin piece of bread and lifted it up. “I hope the children didn’t give you much trouble, I didn’t want to leave too early.” He said, forcing a smile in your direction. Jean was tense. 

You looked at his hand, seeing as gold rings decorated his fingers. So, you were right about the jewelry thing. “Of course not, I always enjoy their company.” You responded, placing your hands around the cross on your chest. “I always enjoy anyone’s company.” 

Jean could feel a shiver go down his spine. He disliked his small tick so much. You parted your lips and Jean felt his eye twitch. Jean’s gaze hardened, like he was concentrated. You noticed and for some reason– it felt intimidating.

You tilted your head up and looked at the bread. Jean’s eyes dilated, bringing the bread close to your mouth. “Body of Christ.” 

You could feel yourself freeze. “I don’t know, I don’t necessarily enjoy placing food in people’s mouths.” You closed your mouth, quickly giving him a sheepish smile. “Father Jean, please excuse me, it’s a habit.” You informed, placing your hand over his. Holding onto his much larger hand, “Allow me.” You grabbed the bread from his hand. “It must seem like I disregarded your boundaries.” 

Jean blinked a few times, shaking his head. His eyes dancing from his hand to yours. “No, no. It’s okay, I didn’t mind.” He said, turning his head to the side for a moment. “I must’ve forgotten..” He bit the inside of his cheek.  

You nodded, “I did too, Father. Don’t worry.” You pressed the thin bread against your tongue, looking down for a second as your tongue slipped over your finger. Before running over your bottom lip.

“..at me.”

You tilted your head up, seeing that Jean was already looking at you. You could feel your cheeks burn, “I’m sorry, what was that, Father?” You absolutely disliked asking people to repeat themselves. You tilted your head to the side, looking away for a moment, unable to keep eye contact. Why? You didn’t know. 

“Father Eren is going to be so angry at me.” He told you, “I think I’ve been giving out the wrong bread.” He said with a chuckle, looking down at the table and basket. His hands came to his side, fidgeting with the material of his black shirt. 

You felt your lip wiggle, trying to contain the laughter bubbling in your throat. But, it slipped out, “Oh Father, if need be, I’m sure you can always confess.” You quickly collected yourself, placing the tips of your fingers to your lips. “I’m sure even priests have their moments of sin.” Why would I say that? 

Jean blinked at you a few times, before smiling, “It’s true. Shameful to admit, but I have struggled of my own.” Then, he nodded his head. “I suppose you’re right, confession does sound nice right about now..” he looked at the roof for a second. Elegant paintings of moments written in the bible looking back at him. 

You nodded, agreeing with him. “Maybe, we should confess together, Father.” You mumbled, not so much telling him, but saying it to yourself. 

“Maybe, we should.” He responded. Still looking up, giving you a nice sight of his neck. With Jean being that tall, and from where you were standing, it looked as if you were on your knees giving him.. 

“Is that a scarf?” He whispered, leaning into you slightly. His eyes dipping down to your chest. Curiosity filling them. 

You could feel your cheeks burn, when did he start looking at you?.. “Oh gosh, I–” You reached up, tucking the fabric into your habit. You thickly swallowed, “I– uh, yes, it is.” You mumbled, “My brother gave it to me, and I couldn’t refuse him.” You added. 

He smiled, nodding his head. “Don’t worry,” he pushed his finger to his lips, “It’ll be our little secret.” You tilted your head, the word sin– filling your head. 

But, you blinked a few times, before bowing your head. “Goodbye, Father.” Then, you walked away. Closing your eyes and shaking the impure thought that came to your head away. Jean’s eyes followed you for a moment, before returning them to the person in front of him. 

“Father.” They greeted, and Jean cringed. He really did. 

“Sister Mary.” He followed. 

⊹ † ༻✦༺ † ༻✧༺ † ༻✦༺ † ⊹ 

Sasha laid on your bed, a blanket over her body and sighing out dramatically. “I think Father Jean’s been hooking up with someone,” she announced. Bringing her hands to her face and messing with her fingers. “He’s been acting weird.” 

You could feel your heart drop. “You think so?!” You disliked how worried you sounded. Sasha gave you a look that made you instantly correct your tone. “I mean, do you think so?..” You placed your hair brush down on your vanity, looking at her through your mirror.

She giggled, nodding her head. “And, I think you have a small thing for him.” She added, grabbing the scarf from your bed and playing with it. Enjoying the thin yet silky fabric between her fingers. She held it up to you, “You know if Sister Mary sees this she’ll be mad.”

You sighed, leaning back in your chair. Reaching for the scarf. “I know, I know, but my brother gave this to me. I couldn’t say no.” You got up, walking to your drawer. “And, I don’t want to throw it out. I–” you sighed, “I really like it, it’s cute.” 

“Uh–Hu, totally.” She stood up, glancing at the clock in your room. “Just hide it somewhere you know she won’t find it.” Sasha stretched out her arms, cracking her fingers. “I’ll lend you the–” 

“I’m not hiding my scarf in your crusty box.” You glared at her, stuffing the fabric in your habit, rather than the drawer. It would be safer if it was on you. 

 “Okay, it’s almost time, it’s now or never, Sister.” She grabbed your hands, pulling you to the door. “Let’s get going!” You disliked how excited she sounded. Because, deep down, you were equally as excited. Maybe you were mixing it with fear. I mean, they practically felt the same. 

“I don’t know, I just feel like..” 

Sasha shushed you, “If you think about it too much you’ll hurt your brain,” she said, grabbing the two towels by the door and placing them under her arm. “Sister Mary should be asleep by now, it’s the perfect time!” 

You rubbed your arm, looking to the side. “Sister, we don’t even have bathing suit, how are we supposed to–” 

“I’ve already thought about that.” And instantly, she was pulling at her outfit. Removing the layers of thick, black, clothing. “We’ll just swim in our underwear. I mean,” she shrugged, placing her habit on the floor gently. “It’s practically the same thing as a swimsuit.” 

You keep your eyes to the ground, “And what if someone sees us?!” You argued. Finally looking at her. 

Sasha shook her head, “No one’s going to see us, Sister.” She reassured, grabbing one of the towels and wrapping it around her body. “Now, c’mon, get naked with me!” 

“No.” 

Sasha pulled at your hand, “C’mon! You know you want to.” She cooed, doing a small dance. 

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Okay, okay, fine. I’ll go.” You admitted, grabbing the other towel from her. “But, only for ten minutes.” You asserted, pointing a direct finger at her. 

Sasha nodded. “Yes, anything you want.” A devious smile came over her lips, her hands grabbing the scarf inside your habit. Placing it and tying it around her head, “Now, get naked!” 

⊹ † ༻✦༺ † ༻✧༺ † ༻✦༺ † ⊹ 

They weren’t lying when they said the pool was beautiful. It was surrounded by a grove of flowers, all different shades of the rainbow. Mixing together like an experienced painter making a beautiful painting. Right next to the pool was an equality as beautiful Labyrinth garden. 

The sky above, the full moon reflecting the pool water, and a cool breeze flowing over you. You tilted your head back, dipping your hair into the water. Bringing your head back up and using your hands to push it out of your face. 

“See! I told you this was a good idea!” Sasha boasted, swimming backwards. “And, what a beautiful night to do it too!” She stopped, starfishing in the water. 

You swam by her side, looking up at the sky. Seeing the stars shining down at you. You couldn’t help but feel awe-struck. You were never allowed outside the church past nine, and now you were swimming in a pool, half naked, at twelve in the morning, looking at the stars with your best friend Sasha. It felt like a fever dream. Maybe, it was a dream and soon you were going to wake up. 

You didn’t want to wake up..

“It’s so pretty,” you voiced, lifting your feet from the ground and floating in the water like Sasha. Fully relaxing while you looked at the sky, “I miss this feeling.” You whispered. 

“Me too,” Sasha said. “I miss being a regular teen. I miss being a teen.” You could hear the whimper in Sasha’s voice. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my religion, but not this much.” 

The thing you and Sasha had in common was… you two were forced to become Nuns. 

“I miss it too,” you were forced to grow up so fast. “But, I enjoy the time I spend here.” You told her, moving your head to the side and looking at Sasha. She was looking at you, smiling. 

“Yeah, we thought we heard something.” 

And, you two shared the exact same expression, at the exact same time. Pure, unrequited, fear. Oh, you two were dead, and you two didn’t even confess! Sister Mary was going to send you two to hell. 

You two immediately rushed out of the water, grabbing your towels and diving for one of the tall bushes. Hiding behind it and looking at the pool entrance through the leaves. 

“This is exactly why I said we should have splashed, it’s way too loud!” You whispered at Sasha, ignoring the urge to punch her. Until, you watched who walked into the entrance. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

Father Jean, Father Eren, and Sister Mary. 

Sasha deeply inhaled, then exhaled. Closing her eyes, tilting her head back, clasping her hands and sighing. “I’m sorry, Sister.” She said, fluttering her lashes. “But, we’re so dead.” 

“I’m going to kill you.” You groaned, looking back through the leaves. Seeing the three look at the pool. Which was clearly disturbed, softly sloshing around. All their eyes were on it, everyone knew someone was in the pool. 

“Well, I can look around the area.” Eren voiced, glancing around. “Or, Jean can too.” 

You looked at the table and immediately cringed. Turing to Sasha, “Sasha, did you bring my scarf with you?” You slowly turned to her, eyebrows mushed together. Showing your anger. 

Sasha blinked a few times, glancing through the leaves. Seeing your scarf on the table. She grimaced, “Well, I didn’t think that..” she shook her head, “It doesn't matter, no one will know it’s yours.” She argued. 

“Yes it does matter!” You said, almost a little too loud. “Father Jean has seen me with my scarf, he knows it’s mine!” You looked back out, sighing. “We’re so dead.” 

Sister Mary sighed, “Well, if we can’t find the culprit, it could mean they’re still on the ground.” She went back to the entrance, placing her hand on the wall. “I’ll go roundup all the sisters, just to make sure they’re safe.” She nodded, then turned on her heel. 

Eren nodded, “Sister, I think it will be fine. I’ll glance around the church and make sure no one is here.” He smiled, “There’s no need to worry everyone over something that could just be an animal.” He reassured, and he turned to Jean. “Just check around the area.” 

Jean nodded. Then, the two of them left. 

You turned to Sasha. “Okay, you go, and I’ll try to get my scarf.” You looked back at the table, glancing at Jean for a second. Biting your lip and sighing silently. You were not getting that scarf back. 

Sasha nodded, putting a hand on your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Y/n.” Sasha looked at Jean, making sure he wasn’t looking, before dashing to the exit.

You sighed, watching Jean walk around the water. Holding your breath as he passed by the bush you were hiding behind. You just needed him to leave, then you could grab your scarf. 

Jean walked to the table, his eyes landing on the scarf. And, you cringed. He saw it, there’s no way he didn’t see it. His fingers moved over the table, landing on your scarf. Pulling it up to his face, then looking to the church. You softly groaned, you weren’t getting that scarf back. 

The worst part was, he most likely knew it was your. Considering how he saw it not too long ago. 

“Bless me Father,” he softly said, your ears perking at his deep voice. A shiver going down your spine that made you shift your thighs together. “For I have sinned.” You disliked the effect his voice had on you.

Jean placed the fabric behind him, stuffing it into his pocket. Shaking his head and walking into the flowery grove. Surrounded by tall, green, fluffy bushes. It was almost like a corn maze, except the center was filled with statues, and a beautiful fountain. It was a place most tourists like to visit during open church hours. 

You quietly followed him, keeping the towel wrapped around your body. Your bare feet hitting the soft green grass. Sending a discomforting shiver up your spine. You ignored it, taking a different path to the center fountain, making the inference that’s where Jean was going. 

You were correct. 

Jean rested on the fountain wall, lifting his hand to the water. Looking at the statue of the Virgin Mary in front of him. You stayed behind the bush, looking through the leaves. You could see your thin scarf peeking from his pants. 

If only you could grab it. 

“Father, and the Holy Spirit.” Jean softly said, his voice deep and smooth, pressing his palm to the fountain's ledge. Placing one knee to the ground, followed by the other. His hands clasped together, “Please, speak to me. I’m in dire need of your assistance.”

You should leave. You shouldn't be watching Jean on his knees, praying to God. This was private. Sacred. Speaking to your one God, was a sacred and private experience. Not something for all wondering eyes and ears to witness. You need to leave. 

But. You need your scarf. 

You sighed, pulling back from the bush, and turning your back to it. Looking at the starry night. 

“I’m struggling, pleading, praying, for your help lord.” Jean sighed, “I can’t keep this up anymore, I feel as if— I’m going insane—“ he thickly swallowed, “Immoral, impure, sinful—“ 

A shiver shot down your spine. You pressed your hand over your lips. Closing your eyes. 

“I can’t control myself.” His free hand went to his pocket, pulling out your scarf. “It’s like a burning desire, turning me to sin.” His hands wrapped around the fabric, before his hands clasped together again. Bowing his head. 

“Everytime I see her, it feels like hands– her hands are crawling around my body. Grabbing me and pulling me in her direction. When I get close enough, I feel like holding her down and hearing her cry. I want to see her cry.” Jean shook his head, “I want her on her knees, worshiping me. Only me, I want to be her devotion.” 

No way. 

There was no way Father Jean said that. 

The most religious man you know, someone who enjoyed doing confessions, always donated what he could to the church, and openly spoke about his devotion to his religion. There was no way he was confessing about… something so– forbidden. 

You deeply inhaled. You need to leave. Your scarf was going to have to wait. It had to wait. Maybe, if you were lucky, he was going to give it to you tomorrow. Along with a stern scolding from Sister Mary. 

You took a step forward, but unbeknownst to you. There stood a very, very crunchy leaf. 

The silence was deathly. 

You clasped your hands together, holding them over your face, and deeply sighing. I’m so dead. 

Jean’s head perked up, “Who’s there?” Jean's voice sounded panicked. You were right, no one was supposed to hear that. And, you just did. 

You shook your head. There was no way you made that mistake, you just imagined it. There was no way you were that careless. You could hear Jean’s heavy footsteps coming in your direction. 

You were that careless. 

You pushed yourself off the bush wall, trying to silently walk away. When Jean grabbed your wrist, making you stop dead in your tracks. Your heart was beating out of your chest, and you could feel your throat constricting. 

“I believe Church doors closed several hours ago.” Jean sounded different. Deeper and intimidating, almost like he was.. mad. His hand around your wrist only made you realize how much bigger he was than you. 

You thickly swallowed, turning your head to him. Sheepishly smiling. Blowing a wet piece of hair from your face. 

His pupils dilated, his grip tightening. “I caught you.” 

You thickly swallowed, finding your mouth dry. “I know, Father. But, I just wanted to swim and then you grabbed my—“ 

“Scarf.” He finished for you, looking at the thin fabric. Still wrapped around his free hand. He thickly swallowed, his eyes dipping up and down your frame. “Did you hear anything?” You disliked how scared he sounded.

You shook your head softly, “I just saw you holding my scarf, then started to leave.” You lied. 

Jean's eyes darkened. “You know, lying is a form of sin.” You could feel your heart drop deeper in your chest. His grip on you was hot. 

“I’m not— but I’m not..” Why were you stuttering so much? Your eyes met his, and you could feel your body burn. You closed your mouth, quickly composing yourself. “Father Jean, I’m afraid I’m not lying.” You disliked how you were lying directly to a priest. Your favorite priest, more specifically.

Jean pulled you into the center of the maze. Not saying a word, you don’t know if it was scary or exhilarating. When he let go. 

“What are you—“

“Pray.” He demanded. Looking down at you, “As someone who serves the lord, I hate seeing someone blatantly sin in front of me.” 

Jean sounded strained, deep, and almost... Was he trying to intimidate you? “Father Jean, are you Afraid I heard you?” You innocently asked, “Because, all I saw was you on your knees, praying.” With my scarf wrapped between your hands, begging for forgiveness. “That’s it.” 

Jean raised an eyebrow at you, walking to the edge of the fountain, and sitting down. His legs naturally spread open. Your eyes remained trained on his face, “Really?” Jean asked condescendingly, his head tilting to the side. He didn’t believe you. “You told me you wanted to confess, why don’t you do that now.” 

“Fine.” You reassured. “But, only because it makes you feel comfortable.” You placed a knee to the ground, followed by the other one. Awkwardly holding the towel to your almost naked body. Tilting your head up, and looking at him. “Father, and son of the Holy Spirit, allow me to speak with you.” You bowed your head, fluttering your eyes closed. 

“If you’re going to pray, do it properly.” Jean voiced, “Hands together, Sister Y/n.” Your name on his tongue was heaven. Maybe even hell. 

You disliked being called Sister, to the point where being called your real name made you jump in your seat with surprise. It also started a fire deep inside you. “Father, I can’t, I’m not wearing much under the towel.” You softly muttered, keeping your eyes to the ground. You were embarrassed, you could feel your skin on fire. 

Everything was on fire. 

Jean didn’t say anything, just brought the tip of his rather clean shoe, to the bottom of your chin. Lifting your face up to look at his. You could feel your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you looked at him. Thighs desperately mushing together. 

Your name. He called you by your name.

“Well, isn’t that a shame.” Jean said, pupils blown wide. His eyes were dark, scary, sinful. You’ve never seen Jean like this. “Do it properly.” His foot went back to the ground, and he lowered his head. Grabbing your face, “Please.” He whined. 

He whined that. 

Jesus Christ. 

You thickly swallowed, blinking at him. Tears pearling in your eyes with arousal, making them glassy in the moonlight. You just nodded your head, hesitantly bringing your hands together. Your towel pooling around your body. 

Jean’s head tilted to the side. “Go ahead, I’m listening.” 

You could feel your mind racing, what was going on? “Father Jean, I–” your mind drifted, “Are you going to tell Sister Mary about this?” You thickly swallowed, looking to the side. Your hands messing with your damp hair, “Because, she is going to–” 

“Should I?” Jean rested his face on his palm. Staring at you. Into you.

“No, you shouldn't. If she found out, I’d be–” 

“Then, maybe I should.” Jean scowled at you, eyebrows furrowed. 

Who were you talking to? This didn’t seem like Jean at all. What happened to the sweet Church priest who loved everyone? The one who seemed like he was always smiling. Suddenly, you could feel your eyebrows mush together. “Are you threatening me?”

Jean's expression remained, like he was disgusted with you. “Did you hear anything I said?” 

You glared at him, trying to ignore the burning sensation in your lower belly. A secret you pushed so far back after you accepted your new life, now bubbling back into your body. 

You loved being treated like this. 

You deeply inhaled, “I’ll ask you again, are you threatening me?” 

“Yes.” 

Your eyes widened, shocked by his bluntness. Before pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Letting out a small giggle, “So, I guess there’s no reason for me to keep lying then.” You tilted your head, “I heard how much you want to fuck a girl.” You placed your hand on his tight, resting your head on the other one. Looking directly at his eyes, “Or, worship you, was the word. Correct me if I’m wrong.” 

Jean kept his blank expression, his hand pushing a strand of hair from your face. His hand slowly moving down to your throat, fingers skimming over it softly. As light as a feather. “You need to learn when to shut the fuck up, that mouth of yours is going to get in trouble.” 

You tilted your head, enjoying Jean’s hands on you. “I doubt it.” You whispered. Your gasped at his hand tightening around your throat, a small moan leaving your lips. 

Jean grimaced at you, “You really are a whore. Into disgusting things like this.” His eyes darkened, watching as your thighs moved together. “What would our God think?” He mocked. 

“You must be one lucky bitch.” You replied, eyes fluttering. You hummed thoughtfully, “I wonder what the church would think if that information got out?” You smiled at him, “I guess, you’re not the only one who wears a mask– you’re just like me.” You ran your hand further up his thigh, pupils blown. “You’re just another corrupt priest–” 

Your back hit the ground, knocking the wind out of you. Jean pinning you to the ground, his hand wrapped around your throat. “Shut. The fuck. Up.” He grit. 

You just giggled, letting your hands roam his chest. “Mm, keep talking. I love that tone in your voice.” You mocked, “Makes me want to see you on your knees, begging to fuck me.” 

Jean thickly swallowed, shaking his head as he tried not to smile. “Jesus, who would’ve thought one of the Nuns was such a whore.” He scowled.

You shrugged, running your tongue over your bottom lip. Eyes dipping down then up, looking at Jean’s prominent bulge. “You know you love it.” You lifted your leg, running your shin against his cock. “Tell me, how small are you? Men with tempers are all talk, no size.” You mocked.

Jean’s head dipped down to your neck, removing his hand, as he peppered your skin with kisses. “You want to get on your knees, and find out?” You did. He bit your shoulder, making you stifle a moan. “Ask me who I was thinking about.” 

You tilted your head to the side, fluttering your lashes. You didn’t want to know who Jean was lusting over, especially when you were lusting for Jean. It felt like a jab in the heart, something painful you didn’t want to hear. You asked anyway, “Who were you thinking about?” You slightly pulled away from him. 

Jean noticed, his eyes picking up on the glossy outline of yours. He softly smiled, before masking it again. He hated how he had a soft spot for you. “You.” He mumbled, pushing his knee in between your legs. Sucking on your neck lightly, “Since you’ve gotten here, all I could think about was fucking you until you cry.” Jean was to see you cry. “You don’t know how many times I’ve stayed up, praying to God– only to fuck my hand to the thought of you.” It was horrible. 

You couldn’t help, but feel your chest swell with pride. You ground your cunt against his leg, moaning out softly. “Really? You’re so gross.” You groaned, running a hand through his hair. Lifting your back off the ground as he trailed his hands around your bra. Desperately trying to find the clip. His lips attached to the exposed parts of your tits. 

Jean hummed out, nodding his head. “C’mon, lift those hips for me.” He groaned, “I want to feel you against my cock.” You moaned at his words. You watched as Jean tossed your bra to the side, grabbing your waist with one hand and bringing you against his hips. 

You could feel his cock. Holy shit. 

Jean laughed at your wide-eyes reaction, grabbing your hand while leaning towards your tits. Giving you some light placed kisses. “See, look how hard you make me.” He moaned against your skin, his hand guiding yours over his aching cock. Rubbing it through his pants. His free hand was placed over your lower stomach, pressing down on it slightly. “That’s going all the way inside you.” 

You shivered. Your pussy clenching around nothing. Ugh, why was he so hot? 

“You wish.” You mumbled, arching your back as his lips wrapped around your nipple. Eyes fluttering shut. “Your gross dick isn’t going anywhere near me.” You placed your hands on his chest, pushing him away from you. 

Jean darkly chuckled against your skin, pulling back and looking at the way you were laying on the floor. Hips pressed against his, rubbing against him nicely, arms near your chest, and hands softly pressing against him. “Your body’s sayin’ something else.” He pressed. He pressed his forearm to your hip, his fingers tracing over your panties. “But, if that's what you want.” He shrugged, “I don’t care.” 

“I don’t need to use my dick to make you cum.” 

Jean smiled, shaking his head. He pushed you away, making you land on your hands. Watching as pulled himself away from you, sitting on the fountain's ledge again, and unbuckling his belt, his hands undoing his pants. “You need to learn some manners.” He growled, “Let’s teach you a lesson.” 

Was he going to make you suck his cock? You could feel your mind race, eye fluttering at the thought alone. You just wanted to feel him inside you, whether that be your throat or..

I shouldn’t be doing this.. 

Jean’s hand reached into his pants, pulling out his thick cock. A huge one might you add. One of the biggest you've ever seen. Well, it was the only one you've ever seen. The tip flushed red, and was oozing with pre-cum. A vein traveling underneath the head of his cock, to the base. Your pussy clenched. That was going to go.. Inside you. All the way inside you. 

You scooted closer, placing your hands on his knees and opening your mouth. The palm of Jean’s hand went over your mouth, keeping you away. “Nu-uh, only good girls get to suck cock.” He mocked, pushing you away from him. “You need to learn some discipline.” 

You blinked at him, your eyes shining from the starry night. “H-huh?” You stupidly asked. Sitting on your heels, hands meeting together in your lap. “Discipline?...” You mumbled. 

Jean smiled, nodding his head. “Awh, that’s right. Discipline.” He moved his hand to the base of his cock, “What? Never heard of that word?” 

You watched his hand move up and down his cock, his throat straining. You hated the way every movement he did, transferred to you. Making your body hot with desire. Watching and hearing the way his hand glided over his cock in a fast rhythm. 

You wished you could remove the deep sweltering desire building within you. Maybe, feel Jean’s  hands over your body to help. Feeling his hand trail over your breast, your waist, neck, and near the throbbing sensation between your legs. That would calm down your sweltering body, right?

Fuck. Hopefully. 

Jean couldn't refuse someone begging for his touch, right? Begging him to fuck them? 

You crossed your legs, slightly squirming in place. Hot pants leaving your glossy lips as your eyes fluttered softly. Your legs awkwardly mushing together as a slick developed between them. Trying to ease the burning desire within you.

Jean’s eyes danced over your pathetic attempt to relieve yourself, his eyes going dark. Why the hell were you so sexy? He couldn’t hold it back, his throat constricting– a whiny 'fuuck..' leaving his glossy lips. 

You nearly lost it. The heat between your legs becoming painful. You couldn't help, but whimper. Would he at least let you draw shapes on your clit? Help with the desperation. You swallowed, feeling embarrassed from your thoughts–the whole situation. Your Priest fucking his hand in front of you, getting off on you watching him. 

Yeah.. This was a bad situation for you. Really bad. 

Despite the situation, Jean didn't stop. Just took a quick glance at you, before tilting his head back. Another scratchy groan leaving him, his Adam's apple bob slightly. Hot pants and strings of curses leaving his mouth every other second. 

God. 

"Ready for your punishment?" You blinked a few times, lips slightly parted as you mindlessly nodded. You felt yourself softly getting pulled closer to him. You slightly flinched once his free hand pushed your hair out of your face, feeling yourself become more jumpy in the situation. Every sensation is like fire against your skin. Everything felt so good.

So unbearably good.

Jean’s rather large hand pumping up and down his cock lewdly. "I have the perfect punishment in mind." He watched the way you squirmed. Slowly looking back at him, trying to ignore the thing you so desperately wanted to see. 

Jean had no shame, he wanted to see you squirm. Wanted to see you pant and look at him with desire. Hot fucking desire. Jean smiled mockingly at you, his dimples denting into his skin. "Ask me what it is." He persisted. You took your lip between your teeth. 

"What's my… punishment?" You asked with uncertainty. Sitting on your heels, and slightly arching toward him with anticipation. Eyes fluttering. 

Jean cupped your face, tilting it to look directly into his eyes. "You're going to sit there, look pretty, while I fuck my hand." He slightly sat up, grabbing the back of your head along with a handful of your hair. Seeing the way you slightly moaned as he pulled your head to his face, noses practically touching. "Alright, pretty girl?" You obediently nodded, awkwardly pulling your attention to his cock. Watching the way his hand moved. His other hand planted in your skull. You felt him bring your head down, bring you in front of his cock. 

Jean wanted to see you suck his cock so badly. See you struggle maybe even enjoy the way you couldn't deep throat him like he wanted you too. That wouldn't matter, he'd still force your head down. Seeing you gag and look up to him. 

Because, Jean was disgusting like that. He'd get off on your struggle, and a part of him says you'd enjoy it too. You softly moaned. Finding yourself naturally spreading your legs as you leaned forward. Your fingers moving to your clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive nub. 

Jean fastened his pace. Finding himself getting closer. Which was a surprise for him. Although, with watching you play with your pussy, that more than likely played a part. You rolled your hips down into your fingers, groaning with frustration and pleasure. Jean's eyes never leaving your exposed form. 

Sucha’ cute Nun. His cute Nun. 

You bit your lip, finding no other way to react to the groans reaching your ears. Almost concealed by the water fountain behind him. But, oh no, you could still hear them, clear as the night sky. Almost as if he was right next to you, trying to sound as indecent as he could. A shaky exhale left you. 

Tears pearling around your eyes was throwing him near the edge. The way you were slightly begging with those round eyes of yours. So pure and innocent. You didn't even know what to do with yourself. You were just waiting for him to do something to you. While he got off to that thought alone. 

That thought alone made Jean realize how painfully horny he was for you. How much he wanted to grab you by your hips, and pressed your face into the floor while he fucked you. Seeing you squirm, and moan over his cock. Maybe, even praise you for taking him whole. 

But, this was a punishment, Jean reminded himself. But, he was still trying to get off. He just needed something to push him over the edge. His eyes flicked all over you. "Lay down." Your eyes peered at him. Your wet lashes fluttered, as you quickly obeyed. Your legs immediately clamped shut. Jean groaned with annoyance, grabbing your ankle and roughly pulling you towards him. Connecting the dots in your head.

You could feel your eyebrows mush together in confusion, picking your head off the ground. “Wait,” you muttered, watching as he pulled your panties to the side. Pressing kisses to your thighs, “I haven’t showered, I just out of the pool, and I’m like really—“ 

Jean's hand harshly gripped your face, your mouth covered with your palm. “Stop bitching,” he grumbled, “fuck, I’ve waited long enough.” You just blinked at him, nodding your head softly. He smiled at you, “Good,” he cooed. “Now, shut the fuck up, and take it.” 

You thickly swallowed, spreading your legs open for him. Jean just laughed at you, “Good job.”

You could feel your eyes roll with his tongue moving up your slit. “No. No, wait.” You shut your legs, thighs squeezing Jean. 

Jean loudly groaned, “What now?” 

“What’s up with you?” Suddenly your mind was coming together and questioning the situation. You were on your back, about to get eaten out by a priest. Not any priest, but the nicest man you’ve ever met. A guy who enjoyed speaking aloud to the church, taking confessions, and helping those who needed it.

That same guy was leaning over you, calling you filthy names while eating you out. Where did the other guy go? “I’m so confused, I thought you?—“ 

“Yeah, no. Don’t even start.” Jean cut you off, groaning with annoyance. “You wouldn’t believe how corrupt this place is.” He replied, “The only reason Eren isn’t here is, because he’s fucking Mikasa.” He lowered himself to your face, smiling at you mockingly. “Don’t tell me you fell for that fake bullshit, I thought you were better than that, Y/n.” He mocked. 

Jean’s eyes skimmed your form, as he felt his breath heat up. You shuttered as his fingers fluttered over your calf gently. Slowly moving up your leg close to the place you wanted it most. A soft moan leaving you, as your back arched. 

Jean laughed to himself, "Fuck. I've barely touched you, yet, look at yourself." He pulled his hand back, staring at you. Jean pressed his hand to your abdomen, tracing it teasingly. 

A small 'please.' Left you. You didn't even know what you were begging for. And, Jean knew that. "Please?" He mocked. Clearly amused. "Please what?" The way he said that, made your eyes flutter. So, breathy and laced with desire. 

"Touch me.." you meekly said. Embarrassment running through your body.

Jean shook his head, "Spread your legs." You blinked a few times, feeling that heat worsen– if that was possible. You slowly parted your legs, hearing the deep growl coming from Jean. Your eyes fluttered. "Good. Fuck– good job." 

You whimpered. Jean smiled to himself, he didn't know you were such a slut for praise. He finally lowered his hand to your clit. Rubbing his thumb over the nub slowly, with just the right amount of pressure. You could feel your belly starting to heat up.

You looked to the side, thinking back to what Jean said. “You’re just a liar.” A good one at that, you finally replied. “I guess I’d be a hypocrite to judge you, though.” 

“A hypocrite?” Jean asked, eyes glued to your face. Searching for your expression. Trying to see what you did, and didn’t like. He knew this was supposed to be a punishment, but he couldn’t help himself. 

Your eyebrows slowly knitted together, lips parting your tried to inhale. The sensation of Jean’s thumb, sending electric currents up your body. “Y-yeah, a hypocrite.” You lightly groaned. Jean was touching you, rubbing your sensitive clit while you moaned. You had to be dreaming. 

“Did you not want to be a Nun?” 

Why was he talking about this? “No, my–” You jolted, feeling his fingers pinch your clit. His lips wrapping around your nipple, his tongue running over it. “M-my parents forced m-me.” You could feel your legs twitch, tears pearling in your eyes. 

Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god–oh god. Why does it feel so good?

Jean laughed, pressed a soft kiss to your tit. “Makes sense, I could hear your moaning all the way from my room when you masturbated.” He smiled seeing the way you tensed, his words seeping into your brain and connecting the dots. “You’re so loud, I’m sure the whole Church heard you.” 

You could feel your blood run cold. The warmth in your belly growing warm, why was that– hot?...

Jean’s dark eyes hardened, watching as you jolted when his fingers ever-so-slightly dipped into your hole. “What? Don’t tell me you thought you were being quiet.” He mumbled against your skin. Listening to you moan, he would do anything to fuck his cock with– something. He was so desperate for relief. 

“The amount of times I would just listen to you call my name in the middle of the night.. It’d have to have been hundreds.” You felt your body tense up, a string twisting in your stomach. “I would fuck my hand to the sound of your voice, listen and listen to your sinful voice. Wish I could see the way your fingers circled your clit, the faces you made when you came.” 

“I wanted to walk into your room, and be the one who made you feel good. I wanted to fuck you so bad..” Jean did everything in his power to control his thoughts at first, prayed, begged. For a moment he thought you were the devil with an apple taunting him, daring Jean to take a bite of the forbidden fruit. 

Until he decided… hell can’t be that bad, and it definitely can’t be eternal. And, hell– you were fucking worth it. He was going to savor each fucking bite.

Jean’s head tilted to the side, “And, I always wondered how you did it.” He pressed a kiss to your neck, “I wondered if you were thinking of me.” His voice was weirdly soft, making you look at him, noticing the way he towered over you. “Tell me, Y/n. Were you thinking of me when rubbing your sensitive pussy?” 

You shakily exhaled, unable to think. You thickly swallowed, choking over a moan, and tilting your head back. A long breath leaving you as Jean intently watched. Your innocent demeanor basically diminishing in-front of him. “Y-yes, I was thinking of you.. Jean.” 

It was perfect. So, fucking, satisfying. 

A sharp, 'hah!' Left you. Making it painfully aware you didn't know how to react to the new sensation. His hands tracing over your exposed skin, before grabbing your bra, pushing the fabric up slightly. Exposing more skin to his hungry eyes.  

You whimpered, and turned your face away, embarrassed by the eyes racking over your skin. Also, by the fact of how much you enjoyed it. Jean grabbed your cheeks with his index and thumb, bringing your face to his eyes. 

“Don’t look away, I want you to watch this.” You felt your lip quiver as you looked down, seeing what Jean was doing. You could a pair of hands trail over your stomach to your upper back, unclipping the back bra you wore. Revealing your bare breasts to him. The perky buds hardening under the cool air. His tongue rolled around them, your eyebrows scrunching together in return. 

"God! Hah!" You choked over a moan, the sensation becoming too much for you. Jean laughed. 

"God?" Jean questioned mockingly, grabbing the back of your neck, and raising you towards him. "I'm not a god.” He said, his voice laced with amusement. “I'm fucking Jean Kirstien. You better not be calling out anything, but that." You groaned, nodding your head feverishly.

"Yes! J-jean!" You gasped, feeling his hand tighten around your throat. 

Jean groaned, biting in his lip. "Such a slut." He harshly spat. His hand left your throat and reached for your lips, pushing two fingers into your mouth. You gag initially before closing your mouth around them, your tongue rolling against it. "Suck." You quickly obeyed. Jean felt his eye twitch, as well as his cock. How were you so sexy? He pulled his hand back, removing his fingers from your mouth, and wiping your spit on your cheek. 

Your eyes rolling back lewdly, as you tried to refuse the feeling of tossing your head back. Your legs spread impossibly wider, making his eyes snap to your entrance. Moving his fingers faster. You arched your back. 

Your pussy was fluttering on nothing, begging to be stuffed. Jean continued to pump his cock, sucking in a groan as you moaned without care. He was so close. If only he could taste you. Run his tongue over your entrance before going to your clit. Glancing up at you to see your reaction. 

You’d probably tear up, try to push him away as he grabbed your hips and forced you to stay put. Pinning you down, and just hearing you cry out about how it was– too much. He wouldn’t care, just continue rolling his tongue around your sensitive bud. Maybe, pump his fingers in and out of your entrance.

You took a deep breath, eyes shutting and rolling to the back of your head. A mantra of babbles leaving your mouth, “Ohgod, fuck. I’m– hah!–” you could feel yourself tighten around nothing, desperate to be filled.  

God, Jean was losing his goddamn mind. He couldn’t help, but fuck his hand, hips bucking at the sound of your voice. Fingers moving your clit in circles, trying to follow your pace. Trying to imagine it was him inside of you, feel the way you’d suck him into you. 

"Please, God– Jean." You softly begged. "I feel weird..." you stated. 

That was a tipping point for him. The slutty words leaving your mouth were shooting straight to his cock. You were such a slut like this. Such a fucking saint. The perfect in between.

Jean wasn't complaining in the least. "How slutty of you?" He questioned. But you didn't care. For once you felt so good. So incredibly good. The fact that Jean was watching was even better, you didn’t know how but it was. 

You choked on a moan, nodding your head. Hearts filling your eyes as you spoke. "Yes! Anything!" Your pussy in plain sight for his viewing pleasure. Loving every second. That tipped him over.

You wrapped your arms around Jean’s shoulders, pulling him close to you. You lips right next to his ear, releasing profanities. Jean could feel his mind melt with your words, “Oh my god, Jean! S’it s’good.” You cried, tears falling down your face. Jean kissed the corner of your eyes, before running his tongue over the wet stream. A laugh leaving his throat. 

Yeah, there was no way you weren’t cumming around his thick cock. 

Jean’s fingers pulled away, and you immediately whined, wanting the sensation to come back. “Wait, wait, don’t stop..” You pleaded, reaching for his hand. Trying to get him to continue. 

“Shh, don’t worry.” He cooed, “It’s only for a second.” His hand went to his cock, pressing the head to your entrance. “Hold me.” 

You slowly took a deep breath in, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and bringing him close. Shutting your eyes as he pushed himself inside you. You could feel tears brimming your eyes from the stretch, a pain– and pleasure shooting through your body. A pained whimper leaving you.

Jean just held you closer, “S’it okay, it’s okay. I got you, I got you.” He whispered reassuringly, pulling his head back to kiss you, his tongue tracing yours. You moaned into him, melting against his body, His hips rolling into yours. Jean stifled a groaned, “Fuck, you feel s’good, Y/n.” 

You could feel his dick slowly inch inside you, pushing your lips apart. Bullying his fat head inside your small hole, stretching around his size. A small whine leaving your throat, his hips meeting the fat of your ass. He tried staying still, letting you adjust to his size. But, God was really testing his patience. 

This was the very thing Jean had been dreaming of. 

You couldn’t breathe. Filled to the brim with Jean’s fat cock, it felt like it was in your throat. But, it felt so, so good. Being filled like never before, his cock hitting all the spongy spots deep inside you. Spots even you couldn’t reach. You gasped, “J-Jean, it hurts– feels so–” 

“Good?” He cut off, pressing kisses to your neck. “You can do this, Y/n. Promise.” His nose caressed your neck, “Be good for me, yeah?” You shut your eyes, and meekly nodded your head, pushing your face in his neck. “Can I move?” 

You nodded. 

Jean smiled, his eyes fluttering. “Thank you,” he whined, “I’ve been waiting too long for this.” His hips pulled back, before pushing forward. His head getting thrown back back from the pleasure shooting through his body. Making his mind hault. Your pussy was so tight and warm, so desperate to have his cum inside of you. 

You immediately arched your back, your toes curling at the pleasure. Your mind blanking as you loudly moaned, your pussy stretching around his cock. Sucking him back into you, “Holy fuck, holyfuck..” You babbled, unable to think. 

Jean’s hands went to your waist, gilding you to move up and down his cock. Your slick, lubing him up, and allowing him to enter with ease. Almost like you were made to milk his cock. His eyes went to your stomach, seeing as it pressed against your belly. How cute. 

Your hands reached for his shirt, gripping onto it as Jean pressed his hips into you. Going in and out, at a slow rate. Savoring every whine, cry, moan, and gasp that left your mouth. Your pussy clenching around him once Jean hit that spongy spot of yours.

You groaned, tossing your head to the side. “Hah!” 

Jean licked your neck, “You like that spot?” He asked, but as expected– didn’t get a response. Your stupid, fucked out head probably couldnt register a thing he was saying. Awh, poor baby. You need him to dumb it down for you. “Here?” He asked, jutting his hips to hit your sweet spot. 

You cried, tears falling down your cheeks. Your lips swollen from biting on them. Jean smiled to himself, “Yeah, right here.” He hit it again, watching as your legs tightened around his waist. Almost a silent way of telling him to stop. 

There was no way in hell he was stopping. 

Jean wanted to see you sob in pleasure. 

Jean grabbed your ankle, lifting it to his shoulder. Placing his hand on your other thigh, and pressed it to the ground, allowing him to go deeper inside you. A groan leaving his mouth from how fucking amazing you felt. Electricity shook up his body with every thrust into you. His swollen tip hitting inside you perfectly, making him whine. You just felt so, so good. 

Jean never wanted to leave. He wanted to stay like this forever. Fuck his cum into your abused pussy until you couldn’t help but cry with pleasure. Tears falling down your cheeks as you weakly gripped onto Jean, desperate to ground yourself. But, even more desperate to cum again. 

Jean pressed his lips together, trying to conceal his moans. Which only muffled them, his hips pressing into yours as he gripped your waist tighter. Moans trying to escape his closed lips, making them even whiner, than before. His lips parted, “I feel so good,” he groaned, “Fuck, you make me feel so good.” 

Jean’s hands went to the back of your thighs, folding them into you. “Oh god, fuck yes,” he moaned. Pounding his cock into you, making sure to hit all your favorite spots. He looked at you, seeing as you rolled your eyes back. “I’m hitting all your favorite spots, huh?” He groaned. 

You just nodded, head lollying to the side. Unable to hold it up, your mind swirling with nothing, but thoughts of his cock deep inside you. His moans filling your ears, with wines and cries. No thought put behind them, just pure pleasure. Your body jolting with every thrust of his hips. 

 Fuck, you needed this. You wouldn’t be able to go another day without this in your life. 

“Oh my–” you could feel your throat constrict, your heart speeding up as your vision went white. “Fuck, ohmygod– I’m– so close!” You tried breathing, but you couldn't. 

Jean chuckled to himself, “No, not yet.” He cooed, looking into you. Only to see your non-vacant eyes. He couldn’t help, but laugh again. “Awh, look at those fucked out eyes. Not a single thought behind them, huh?” He pulled out, “You just want my dick, huh?” 

Jean turned you around, forcing your face to the ground. “C’mon babe, don’t tell me you’re already tapping out.” You meekly shook your head, pushing your pussy back on his cock. Eyes rolling with every thrust. “Atta’ girl,” He praised. 

You felt your lips wiggle, tears falling down your face. Too much, it was way too much! That coil from before, building in your stomach again, getting tighter and tighter. Jean could notice by how tight you were clenching around him, your gummy walls pulling him back into you. 

“Awh, am I hitting all your favorite little spots, over and over again? Does it really feel that good?” Jean mocked, feeling his balls tighten. Fuck, he wasn’t going to last much longer like this. His hand wrapped around your body, circling your clit again. Hearing the way you groaned, your mind melting with overwhelming pleasure. “You feel your belly getting warm?” 

“Y-Yes!” Oh my god, you were going to cum. It almost felt different, like you couldn’t stop it from happening. Forcing it way through your body, your ears ringing. 

“I know, I know. Don’t worry, babe. I’m not stopping, I’m not stopping.” He cooed, watching as you went slack. Your legs wobbling, as your arms caved in. Squirting over his cock, wetting his abdomen. Jean couldn’t help, but feel his eyes go wide. Watching you come, not bothering to stop his thrust. Only making your pussy twitch. 

Your body went slack, about to fall to the floor when Jean caught you. Laugh at your pathetic state, “Babe, did it really feel that good?” He mocked, continuing to fuck you. You could feel your pussy burning with pleasure, it was almost overwhelming– fuck that, it is overwhelming.

You could feel your mind screaming to pull away, your body aching with soreness. Jean’s hands going to your shoulders, pulling you back on his cock. Making his thrust deeper and harder than before. Hitting that spongy spot with more power. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything. Just lay down, and take my fat cock.” 

You didn’t even have the power to object, your mind was just high on pleasure. 

“Oh god, fuck, Y/n I’m gonna’ cum.” Jean moaned into your shoulder, his thrust turning erratic. “W-where do you want it?” His dick was coated with your slick, a ring located at the base of his cock. Evidence of your actions with him. 

You weren’t even thinking when you said it, “Inside.” You groaned back, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You could feel your mind blank again, body tensing. 

Jean felt his throat constrict for a moment, “Oh fuck, oh fuck..” He moaned, eyes rolling to the back of his head while he pushed his hips into you. Hot ropes of white cum, seeping inside your overstimulated pussy. “Fuck.” He groaned, closing his eyes and collecting his breath. Slowly lowering you to the ground. Then, finally pulling out of you. 

Watching as his cum leaked out of you. 

Jean just smiled to himself, running his hands over his face. He tilted his head to the side, peering at you. “Babe, you okay there?” You gave him a weak thumbs up, one that made him laugh. “Alright..” He dismissed, looking at the Church, and seeing how all the lights were off. 

It was going to be a bitch, and a half to get back inside. 

You rested on your back, your eyes blinking slowly. Jean went to lay next to you, looking at the shimmering sky above. Holding your hand, not before quickly removing his shirt and placing it on you. Trying to give you something to cover yourself. 

“The sky’s pretty.” You quietly said, leaning into Jean. Eyes blinking at the endless cosmos, observing the beautiful scenery. You never got to look at it, being trapped inside the church at night. 

“Yeah, the moon’s beautiful.” Jean responded, wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “This is nice.” He whispered in your hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “I didn’t mean the things I said, I think I was just horny.” He said with a laugh.

You giggled, moving closer to him. “Your brain went– Y/n, must fuck, now.” You smiled, wrapped your arms around his torso. Still slightly sore from your previous activities. You wondered how sore you would be when you woke up. 

Jean groaned, “Uhg, I hate that.” He laughed, “I have so much confessing to do after this.” His arms tightened around you, pulling you closer to him. “But, it was worth it.” Jean smiled, the smile you came to utterly adore. “You’re worth it.” 

You rested your head on his chest. “You are too.” 

“You want to sleep with me tonight?” He asked, pushing back off the ground and pulling you up with him. Picking you up like a princess, a small yelp leaving you. “I’ll promise to massage your back in the morning.” 

You looked to the sky, pretending to think, while wrapping your arms around his neck. Crossing one leg over the other, “Will you also massage my legs?” You stretched your foot out, feeling it cramp.

“Of course,’” Jean responded, pressing his lips gently across yours. Walking through the maze. Searching for the exit, which he found surprisingly fast. “I’ll even fuck you stupid again, if you want.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Don’t. I think my body needs a break after that.” You pressed your finger to his nose, smiling to yourself. “Just get me to a soft bed, and I’ll be fine for the night.” You rested your head in his chest, yawning quietly. “I’m so tired.” You whispered. 

Jean smiled back, his dimples prominently shining at you. “Fine, but next time I’m eating you out.” He sang, twirling around with you in his arms. 

You shook your head, smiling sweetly. “Deal.” 

Ugh, you literally loved him so much. Why’d he have to be so perfect.

⊹ † ༻✦༺ † ༻✧༺ † ༻✦༺ † ⊹ 

#writers on tumblr #anime #fiction #writing #aot fanfiction #aot x y/n #rating: mature #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan #attack on titan jean #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschstein #jean kirschtein fanfiction #jean kirschtein x you #jean x y/n #jean kirstein #smut with plot #smut #modern au

[hazbin-a-helluvamagines]

Bee, Ozzie (+ Fizz, if you wanna) and Loona with a shy, human male S/O who has metahuman abilities, specifically time manipulation (controlling the flow of time, such as speeding it up, slowing it down, moving it forward, moving it back, etc) and time alteration (changing the time around an object, either inanimate or living, and making that object into a different thing entirely, with living things still retaining their sentience, but are unable to move)

Sorry if this is long and/or hyper specific.

Ozzie + Fizz, Bee, and Loona with a Shy, Human Male S/O with metahuman abilities

Both Asmodeus and Fizzarolli think you're extremely cool! They're both really sweet to you, though. The last thing they need is for you to have a panic attack on them!

"Fuck, you can mess with time?! That shit's pretty scary~!" Fizzarolli would tease playfully in a sing-song voice.

"Can you show us how it works, baby?" Ozzie would ask you. Of course, he'll understand if you say no or refuse. He's just happy to give you the opportunity to talk about yourself.

Since you're shy, they'll be the first to open up all sorts of doors for you to interject your opinion into things, too. Plus, with you being human, Ozzie in particular would be incredibly protective of you.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?! I'll destroy any motherfucker who tries to hurt my boyfriend!" Ozzie would shout after someone had been harassing you. And Fizzarolli would quickly join in.

"Yeah, our boyfriend is wayyyyy too good for a piece of shit like you," he'd say in that smug tone he always used on people he didn't like and wanted to taunt.

Honestly, they'd both want to kind of see you snap. You've earned it dealing with all the bullshit in Hell. Change that Karen into a pot or something, and let her be in agony stuck that way for the rest of her life in Hell. Or age her so much that her husband won't ever want her again (as if he even does now- 🤭)

A wholesome pair, certainly, but with their darker, more mischievous sides!!

They'll probably bring you to Ozzie's with them so they can better keep an eye on you. After all, they don't want to watch anyone try to hurt you without being able to stop it.

No, Ozzie learned his lesson after OOPS with Fizz-

Oh boy. You're in for a treat with our lovely Queen Bee.

See, it isn't necessarily that she's mean about you being shy, it's just that she doesn't quite understand it. After all, she's a total party animal, she can't understand people who don't enjoy getting scrappy and having fun!

She'd be the type to first offer you drugs to help you loosen up, insisting she can get you anything that your heart desires.

"C'mon, babe! Alcohol? Sugar? Fentanyl? Ketamine? Oxy? Chardonnay? Come on, anything you want, just lemme know! We gotta be ready to tear this shit up together!"

She's only being playful, of course. She's trying her hardest to understand, she really is. Once she understands it more of an aspect of your personality, rather than a problem she needs to fix, she's a lot more chill.

"Hey, hun, I know you're not really a fan of socializing at my parties. Wanna go to a private section of the place and just chill with me?"

She's also so sweet, she'll offer you any accommodations you may need! Comfort foods? No problem! Cuddles? You got it! Her attention? You don't even need to ask!

She's a lot less focused on your abilities than some of the others. But still finds them really cool, although more for just messing around!

"So are you telling me you could totally turn that plant over there back into a seed?! Yeah! Do it! C'mon, show me, babe!"

Probably finds it really hot how powerful you are, actually.

The Gluttony Ring is a lot more chill, so she's a lot more comfortable leaving you by yourself as a human there than in, say, the Lust or Pride Rings. Most everybody in Gluttony is sweet.

After all, nobody would really want to get on her bad side, anyway.

And yet, if you approached her with any sort of issues... i.e., someone tried spiking your drink, someone spilled a drink on you, you're being made fun of, etc., out comes the monstrous Bee form. It's their own fault!

"Which of you fucking bitches tried some shit on S/O?! I'll fuck you up so hard that not even all the ketamine in the world will numb your stupid ass!"

It's honestly amazing how protective someone normally so chill can be when their S/O is human.

You're shy, male, have powers, and above all, are human?! Oh no, no, no. Don't ever let her dad find out, he will be at your house the same day-

Aside from that, she pretends not to care much about your abilities. After all, she's more interested in you, not what you can do. And she finds your abilities impressive, and something she'll secretly record so she can remember how cool it was, but she'll avoid bringing it up. She never knows if it's a sore spot for you, after all.

Since you're shy, she'll take it on herself to tease an embarrass you in public, but only playfully and as much as you're comfortable with. All you have to do is say the word and she'll stop and never do it again. Kisses to the cheek, pulling you to sit on her lap (or vice versa), sickeningly sweet couple photos, you name it, she's already on it, most likely.

Of course, only she's allowed to do it. Anyone else who tries is already basically a goner, because they're going to be unrecognizable by the time Loona is done mauling them- Who's to say Hellhounds aren't loyal and devoted?

With that said, if someone ever messed with you,

She's pretty chill with you, though, just acting very normal and a little more sweet. Not quite as abrasive as she is toward Blitzø, for example.

"Hey, S/O. There's this thing coming up in the Greed Ring next week. Wanna go? You don't have to, it's just an idea."

Since you're human, and she both lives and works in the Pride Ring, which is full of sinners, don't expect to EVER be left alone.

She can't risk one of those awful creatures getting their hands on you and hurting you! No, she'll be at your side 24/7, insisting you call her just to be able to leave your house for the day. It may seem overprotective, something that apparently runs in the family, but she just doesn't want to see you get hurt.

"C'mon, S/O. I promise it's not personal. But Pride is full of shitty people with shitty personalities and shitty crimes that got them sent to this shitty place. 'Kay?"

She does care, even if she doesn't always show it all the time. <3

#queen beelzebub #queen bee #Beelzebub #Bee #Bee x reader #beelzebub x reader #Queen Bee x reader #Queen Beelzebub x reader #helluva boss ozzie #ozzie #helluva boss beelzebub #helluva beelzebub #ozzie x reader #asmodeus #asmodeus x reader #asmodeus x fizzarolli #ozzie x fizz #fizz x ozzie #fizz x reader #fizzarolli #fizzmodeus #fizzarozzie #fizzaroli helluva boss #fizzarolli x asmodeus #fizzarolli x reader #loona #loona x reader #loona helluva boss #helluva boss x reader #helluva boss loona

[deconstructthesoup]

Analyzing "The Web I Spin For You"

Okay, so... THIS FUCKING SONG is one of the most interesting and compelling songs in the Nightmare Time saga, and nobody ever talks about it---unless they're praising Mariah's voice, which is something you should be doing regardless. Outside of "The Summoning," this is the only song sung by one of the gods of the Black & White, and unlike "The Summoning," which is just vibes, villain chaos, and dealing out some Faustian bargains with the NPMD gang, this song actually provides lore. It shows us a deeper look into Webby's psyche and motivations, something that the Lords in Black have yet to be gifted. It gives us a hint as to how brothers and sister split apart... and I think it might be our very first---and so far, only---look into the parent of these eldritch beings.

Okay, let's start.

"Why do you haunt me like a ghost? / You're supposed to love me the most"

Right off the bat, we have emotional depth. Webby is singing about someone who has hurt her, someone who was supposed to love her but instead used her and continues to haunt her life. Who is this person, and what did they do?

"Got me in the spell you cast / The iris of your eye is black / Weren't you the one to watch my back / Unlike the witches you summon?"

This is where it ties into the episode, with "witches you summon." You get the clear sense that Webby is talking about a family member---maybe her brothers, but it has to be one in particular, and it doesn't really feel like she's talking about Wiggly... if nothing more than the fact that his irises are very clearly not black, at least if the doll is anything to go by.

"Have you noticed that my trust has turned / You may have taught me, but now I've learned / Gotta catch you before I'm burned / In the web I spin for you"

Now, here is where it starts to make sense. I think this song is about the father of the Lords in Black and Webby---someone who taught them how to be gods of chaos. Maybe once upon a time, Webby believed in what her father was teaching her, maybe he even kept the truth secret from her, but she grew up, saw through it, decided that she didn't want to participate in the evil, and left.

At this point in the song, the phrase "the web I spin for you" seems to refer to something Webby made for her family's benefit, and based on the lyrics, it eventually became a curse for her. I saw someone mention the theory that Webby created the split timeline... and you know what? Maybe that is the web she made. A blessing, because nothing is ever permanent and nobody ever truly dies, but a curse, because she watches her brothers succeed again and again, and even when she wins, there's no guarantee that the people she helped will be happy. In fact, the episode this comes from has the only ending in the Hatchetfield universe---nobody dies, Hannah makes it out with Miss Holloway's help, Lex and Ethan get out of jail. And honestly... it hits harder that way, because I think there's enough evidence to suggest that The Witch In The Web is in the same timeline as Nightmare Time 2. And we all know how that ended.

"You used to keep me at your side / (Have you given that up? Have you given that up? Have you given that up?) / I suppose you'd have me empathize"

The way I'm interpreting it now, this could add fuel to the fire as to why the LiB resent Webby. Maybe back when she still believed in her family, she was her father's favorite. But something happened---maybe nothing more than the fact that she was kind---that changed all that. In the very next line, she says that the person she's singing about stabbed her in the back. Maybe she was lied to, maybe she was betrayed---whatever the reason, this could be why she left.

"Have you noticed that my trust has turned / You may have taught me, but now I've learned / I'll enjoy it as I watch you squirm / In the web I spin for you"

Here is where "the web I spin for you" shifts from being something Webby made to help to something she made to trap. The web she made---maybe it's the timeline, maybe it's something else---benefits nobody, but especially not the people who hurt her. She doesn't trust them anymore, so she's turned her web into something that can hurt them back.

"What's the point of giving love and trust for / I thought it something that was worth the fight for / And now I wonder what I worked so hard for / I even thought that I could give my life for you"

God. Damn. There's so much I can say, but the first thing that comes to mind is... poor Webby. Based on these lyrics alone, she has been hurt, she's been betrayed, she's likely been lied to or mislead about the purpose of what she was doing, and it's a miracle that she's still her loving and caring self. And speaking of which...

"I was the only one that loved and cared for / Have you noticed that I have it in for / As I grew older that I have no need for / The web I spin for you"

This one is actually pretty straightforward, and it lends credence to the theory that Webby truly is the only Queen in White---the only good entity in her family. The next line could either indicate that she's grown to the point where she's too powerful for the web she made, or she's outright rejecting her family and the purpose they gave her---either way, it's still cool.

"If I'm-a trust, I'm gonna trust in me / You may have taught me, but I'm now learning / All this time, I've been untangling / The web I spin for you"

And THIS RIGHT HERE is where the "gotta take it back, take it back" refrain all throughout the song makes sense. Webby is now attempting to undo her actions, now that she knows that she can't trust her family and that she's learning on her own. She's untangling the web she made, and in doing so, turning the tide.

"No doubt that if I drop dead / You'll find me tangled up / In the web I spin for you"

Full disclosure---I always have to look up those last two lyrics to know what they are, and they're very bone-chilling. My only thought to what this might mean is that... Webby's saying that the web she made might kill her. And she's either trying to guilt the person she's singing to, or she's furious at the fact that they made her create such a thing, and... yeah. I don't know what's more hard-hitting.

ANYWAYS, this song is supremely underrated

#starkid #hatchetfield #webby hatchetfield #nightmare time #hatchetverse #the lords in black #queen in white #the web i spin for you #the witch in the web #song analysis

[agentravensong]

hello, fellow hatchetfield fans! here are my stray nerdy prudes must die thoughts, which i'm going to try to keep brief (she said, before spending an hour writing this)

the production level of the show as a whole really blew me away. the lighting; demon!max's costume and makeup; even the way it was shot and edited felt even more electric than past shows

this is the only one of the full-length hatchetfield musicals to have one consistent antagonist throughout (black friday has linda but half the leads don't know about her at all until the climax, plus there's wilbur and wiggly). and i gotta say, max's actor really killed it. hilarious, terrifying, and even with moments of nuance. he repeatedly stole the show.

some of the songs are already stuck in my head. off the top of my head i can't think of any that stood out in a bad/unmemorable way (though i could just be forgetting them, lol). ruth's song in particular i think is gonna really stick with me once i listen to it a few more times.

and i love the way the "i'm not a loser" motif gets used throughout the show. the closest any of the songs got me to having the visceral reaction i have to "did you know that i wanted to live with you" in "not your seed" and the bridge + ending of "let it out" ("i've never been happy...") was when richie sings that line right before... well.

speaking of richie: as a paul stan, what this show proved to me more than anything is that when jon matteson plays a sympathetic lead (or side character - hi daniel/stopwatch), he will always break my heart. he's just. really good.

thinking about how in the last of the originally planned 3 hatchetfield shows, initially conceptualized as the first, jon's character is the first one to sing, whereas in the first of those shows, conceptualized as the last, the whole crux of the musical is him refusing to sing, the audience essentially waiting for the moment he breaks and does it. thinking about how the opening of npmd tells us richie is going to die, already dying, already dead, while the opening number of tgwdlm tells us paul is the target, the Doomed Hero, the "star of the show" "destined to go viral" [read: get infected], whose story is going to be told, already written.

thinking about how singing dooms paul, and how richie singing "i'm not a loser", reigniting max's ire, is the final nail in his coffin.

...i'm normal.

there's a lot of meta jokes and nods of that sort throughout the show. maybe a few too many? like, at a certain point, as a fan, i do feel like i'm being pandered to a bit.

i liked the lords in black's scene, it was a lot of fun! it's always great to see jon get to let loose with crazy characters, and the others were great too. but i do wonder how it plays for people who haven't been following nightmare time stuff. like, i get that in one world this was our introduction to these characters, but even in that world, i wonder if including all five of them with their specific names and allusions to their individual deals is a bit too much for what the plot of this show needs. there's something to be said for not showing all your cards right away.

on the other hand, i feel like the paulkins coffee scene actually fully earned its inclusion: because when pete comes in asking for his hot chocolate, it reads differently when we're coming at it from having followed his perspective up to this point versus having been following paul in tgwdlm, in a way that strengthens both scenes. it's a nice reminder that emma and paul can be... rude, i guess. assholes, even (she really didn't need to spit in it). that idea of perspectives affecting how we categorize people arguably even plays into the themes of this show! how about that.

ah, yes, Themes. there are Themes to be drawn out of this show about the experience of high school, especially in an intertextual comparison to how tom and becky talk about their time in high school in black friday. something about how the two of them see it as this idealistic time they want to go back to, whereas the teens (the nerds/outcasts) in npmd sing that they'll "still despise it when [they're] gone". something about how in ruth's solo number, the fantasy future she imagines for herself (even in the context of it being a performance for an audience of no one) is of a standard, arguably dreary, middle-aged existence. there's definitely stuff there to be dissected.

and also there's arguably a theme of continuing cycles of cruelty, brought into focus by the ending, but also implied with the way the adults failed the kids (see max referencing his dad belittling him).

...but also, i feel like they could have done more with that.

that's my one big thing with this show, and it could very easily just be that the genre of this show isn't as much my jam, but i'll say it anyway: i wanted more from the characters, and more emotional weight in regards to certain things.

like, between this and tgwdlm, i think tgwdlm is still the better written show. there's just, a subtly to the characters there, a grounded human-ness, that i didn't quite get from all of the teens here.

as much as i clearly have a soft spot for richie, that's mostly on jon; as written, there really isn't much there, beyond "anime nerd" and "generally nice kid who wants to be liked". the scene right before he dies is comedic in how obvious it's setting things up, but its obvious-ness also makes it feel kind of cheap in terms of pulling on the heartstrings. similarly, ruth is initially just a gimmick (though hers at least ties into a deeper insecurity) and only gets her real moment of depth right before she dies. neither of them feel like they have much affect / haunting presence on the surviving teens once they're dead, past the initial shock of the reveals of their deaths.

and steph and pete are good, but... idk. i wanted a bit more from each of them. if they got to have a talk like paul and emma before "join us and die" - not even for the sake of the romance, but just for the sake of giving us more on each of them outside of their basic stereotypes and the romance - that would've helped, i think.

grace was great, though, no qualms. initially there was a part of me that was disappointed that the stereotype max was pushing on her about her being secretly repressed and horny was in fact true, but the way it gets used makes up for it, and in between max's death and when that specific thing comes up again in the climax, she gets to do a lot with the two conflicting sides of her personality, wanting to be good but having a capacity and arguable instinct for scheming and ruthlessness.

(also, as i mentioned earlier, max has a surprising amount going on, especially once you get into the Implications)

it could just be that i see those depths in the tgwdlm cast because i've had more time to chew on that cast, and that in time i'll see these teens in the same light. but i don't think it's just that.

i think part of it is how there are so many jokes about the teens being nerdy prudes (really, mostly just nerds). and like, that's part of the point, obviously, that they were being forced into those boxes and that they were still people with the potential to be more. but... i don't know if the show does enough to really make that point. again, richie doesn't really get to be more (and it's not for lack of time - there's a good amount of show before max comes back as the demon and kills for the first time).

in tgwdlm, the mains are all arguably based on stock characters, but they have more depth through their relationships. look at ted, the stock asshole sleazeball, who's shown to feel genuine remorse when he loses people he loves, in a way that contextualizes his bitterness. and there's a lot less highlighting of the stockness of them in their show than there is of the teens in npmd.

and the thing is, i think the cast of npmd at their foundations are more likable than the cast of tgwdlm (see the earlier point about emma and paul being assholes at times). they had a lot of potential. but i don't think enough of it is realized for the majority of them. the edges the tgwdlm cast has are part of what makes them compelling, and it's something the teens (minus grace) are largely missing.

the thing is, i know the fandom is going to see that potential and run with it. i know that they're gonna develop the teens' characterizations and relationships. i know they'll get into the trauma and the implications from everything that happened to them in the show. i know they'll get into... pete's survivor's guilt, and steph losing her dad(!!!), and what richie and ruth could have been, and all that. i know that they'll fill in the gaps. because that's what fans do. i guess i just wish there weren't so many gaps to fill. or, that the gaps wouldn't take so much effort from them to fill.

again, i acknowledge, maybe i'm expecting too much from the genre of show this is. it doesn't need to have A Point, i guess, it can just be fun, a comedic horror slasher in musical form. and it is fun, a lot of fun! ...but, tgwdlm was also a lot of fun. not as bombastic, for sure, but i'd say just as humorous. and it was also incredibly tightly written, and satisfying, with strong character arcs for multiple leads. it had commentary on musicals, on what makes a protagonist and what it means to be one, on conformity and institutions of authority, on romance even (you could do a very interesting aromantic reading of this show, trust me). and with a show that's titled nerdy prudes must die, that is About high school, there's, similarly, a lot you can do. and there's a fair amount of seeds planted there. but i don't think it all quite coheres. and it could've, if they really wanted it to.

...i did not keep that brief. ah well. i might disagree with half of this by the time i wake up tomorrow, i just needed to get it out of me. tl;dr, in my opinion, this show is stronger than black friday, but tgwdlm is still my favorite. all the cast and crew put a lot of love into this production and it really shows. i had a great time! :D but i'm always going to overanalyze things i care about as much as i care about the hatchetfield universe, and hence, here we are.

#starkid #nerdy prudes must die #tgwdlm #npmd spoilers #nerdy prudes spoilers #if people have deeper reads of the teens based on stuff in the show itself that i didn't pick up on #i'd love to hear them! #for reference if anyone's curious: my absolute fav hatchetfield characters are #paul - hannah - lex - and ms halloway

[iwanthermidnightz]

just thinking about how the speech taylor made about speak now and being completely fine now and not caring about things that happened ages ago (in an attempt to get fans off of harassing john mayer like they did jake gyllenhaal) is even more poignant now that karlie attended not just any show, but the 1989tv announcement show.

Exactly. I think these specific moments are all part of the story, including bringing back Taylor Lautner for a little surprise cameo and him calling himself uncle to the swifties is funny.

But of course, those who feel strongly about certain situations feel justified in ignoring her advice. She still wanted to be on record saying “we need to have a talk”. Which is even louder in hindsight.

Let’s go back to exactly what she said:

“So I was hoping to ask you that, as we lead up to this album coming out, I would love for that kindness and gentleness to extend onto our internet activities. Right? So what I’m trying to say is, I’m putting this album out because I want to own my music, and I believe that any artist who has the desire to own their music should be able to. That’s why I’m putting out this album. I’m 33 years old, I don’t care about anything happened to me when I was 19 years old except the songs I wrote and the memories we made together. So what I’m trying to tell you is that I am not putting this album out so that you can go and like should feel the need to defend me on the internet against someone you think I might’ve written a song about 14 million years ago. I do not care, we have all grown up. We’re good.”

Karlie going to the last possible show, and it being the 1989tv announcement show was planned by both of them. It’s a starting point and a first step of many. I hope people go back to all the particular things Taylor said in her tour speeches over the last few months. She was intentional.

[666writingcafe]

Trouble is Brewing

MC

My head is killing me. Even with my eyes closed, it's pounding hard enough that I feel like it's going to break free at any moment.

Immediately, I'm reminded of the restaurant incident, and my stomach sinks. I didn't destroy anything again, did I?

"I think they're awake." A soft, low voice. Lucifer, maybe?

"MC, can you hear me?" Is that Diavolo? I can only muster a thumbs up, as even a quick nod will make my headache that much worse. Someone murmurs what sounds like a spell, and the pain begins dissipating. Must have been a healing one.

Once I'm able to open my eyes, I take in my surroundings. The three of us are in Diavolo's room. Lucifer and I are on the couch, and my back is up against his chest. Meanwhile, Diavolo is crouching in front of me, a kind yet concerned smile on his face.

"What happened?" I ask, sounding incredibly sleepy.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Lucifer replies. I have to think for a second, but then the memory comes to me.

"We were on stage, waiting for the song chosen for our dance battle to play. I remember hearing the first few seconds and being surprised that the song in question was from the human world, and then..." I trail off as the mental picture gets fuzzy. "I'm sorry. I can't seem to recall anything else."

"That's quite alright," Diavolo comforts.

"And understandable," Lucifer adds.

"Did I black out during our performance?" The two men share a worried glance, making me nervous. I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing.

"That's about the best way to describe it, yes," Diavolo answers. "You experienced a magic-induced blackout." What?

"You became so focused on your performance that you started glowing," Lucifer continues. "By the time the song was over, it was clear to both of us that you were completely checked out, like your mind decided to take a vacation and leave your body behind." Well, that's terrifying.

"Thankfully, the song talked about the dancer becoming the dance, so people thought that your performance depicted that perfectly," Diavolo states. Wait, so does that mean...?

"Did I win?" I ask. Diavolo nods.

"Until the next bloody moon, you will be considered the most honored and respected person in the Devildom."

"Do I have to start wearing fancy clothes now?" Diavolo laughs heartily, while Lucifer quietly chuckles.

"Just keep being yourself," the latter responds, pecking me on the cheek. "That's the best part about you." As much as I want to relish in the sweet moment, there's a more pressing matter that must be addressed before I can truly relax.

"Did anything else happen while I was in my weird magical blackout?"

"What do you mean?" Diavolo inquires.

"Well, did any cracks show up on the floor or ceiling?"

"Fortunately, no." He pauses. "However, something did occur outside the walls of RAD." Oh no...did I somehow demolish a monument or something?

"We didn't find out until we got settled in here," he continues. "We knew that you weren't in any condition to go out and party with everyone else, and the only person that was bound to disturb us here was Barbatos, so we figured that this was the best location for you to recover in."

"Just as Diavolo sat down, his phone buzzed, and a few seconds after he saw what it was about, he grew serious," Lucifer takes over. "I asked him if everything was alright, and he just shook his head as he gave me his phone."

"One of the demons Solomon has a pact with was on his way home from the bloody moon event, and that involved him cutting through the primeval forest," Diavolo explains. "He nearly lost his balance on one of the cliffs, as it had been hit with an enormous landslide that took out one of its sides. He couldn't see the bottom of the cliff, even when standing right on the edge and looking straight down. He took pictures and sent them to Solomon, who sent them to me." And if Diavolo in turned showed them to Lucifer, then Lucifer probably wondered how such a thing could occur in that particular location, which means that Diavolo probably explained...

Lucifer knows, doesn't he?

I don't blame Diavolo for telling him. Lucifer is his right-hand man, after all. It was only a matter of time before he would have to reveal everything.

And yet...

It's not until two sets of arms wrap around me that I realize that I've started crying.

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me lord diavolo

[faithfully-yours]

The Moon Will Sing

Fandom : Just Roll With It Riptide

Ship : none

Summary : Gillion was only ever a mirror, something to reflect some elses greatness

Warnings : Implied abuse, basically Gill's childhood, episode 109 spoilers

Notes : The Crane Wives has me in a god damn choke hold

Age 9

"Tell me once again, please."

My small begging voice seemed to claw through the elder's wall, not far enough through though.

"The prophecy chose you, that is why you're here."

"But I could have been anyone, *anyone* else, and I could've gotten out."

"There is nothing to get out of, it's a privilege."

"But, before you made the choice for me-"

The elder crouches down to get on eye level with Me.

"Look, this is your destiny, Gillion. Accept it."

He took my hand and started pulling me foward. My feet knew the path to where we were headed. The training grounds.

Again. Of course.

I remember when I was first brought here. We had walked in the dark.

I have no idea why, but in the dark they brought me to the grounds, and then it started.

I never gave a single thought to where it might lead, the first time.

That was before they told me.

Before.

Age 14

"All those empty rooms, it has to get lonely."

Edyn says, with a smile.

They're letting her visit now, which is nice.

We could have been anywhere, anywhere else, but no.

We had to stay in my room, Edyn said it was safer.

So I made a bed with apathy and there we sat, talking.

"My heart knew the weight of loneliness before I was stuck here Edyn." I say, leaning against her.

She shakes her head. "Ten years worth of dust and neglect. You can't just get rid of those memories Gill."

"I never said I could." She seems to put words in my mouth a lot. I love her though. If I couldn't see my sister, I don't know if I could survive this place.

Neither of us see eachother much anymore, and on the rare occasions we do we both seem tired.

But we made our peace with weariness and let it be.

Age 18

Another speech. After every mistake I get one. A speech.

this time though, I interrupt the particular elder.

"But, you said the moon will sing a song for me and-"

"Grow up. The moon rewards those who work."

His harsh hand grips my wrist as he yanks me along. "Us elders worked so hard for you, to make you a worthy chosen one. But you don't show us love, nor respect."

He opens a door and throws me harshly into a dark room.

I let out a groan as I hit the wall. "I loved you like the sun, and you do truly burn everything you touch. Bore the shadows you made."

He lets out a scoff. "Be thankful."

"I can't do anything. With no light of my own I shine only with the light you gave me."

He turns on his heel and shuts the door, and locking it from the outside.

Trapping me in shadow.

"I shine only with the light you gave me."

I mutter, making myself comfortable. I won't get out within the next three days. I don't usually anyway.

Age 21

"Name your courage now!"

Feel the sharp tip of metal at my neck.

"You almost killed a navy officer."

The elder lets out a harsh laugh. "We have war. We could have had anything, anything else, but instead we have war."

I shrug. "I don't-"

"You don't what? We should have you killed Gillion."

"But instead you hoarded all that's left of me. My sister, my freedom."

My voice sounds small and rough. I really don't like it. I don't like most things about my things now though.

Hey won't do it. Kill me that is, they won't kill me. Right.

What am I kidding.

"look at you. Swallowin' your doubt. Don't worry, we won't kill you. It's almost like you want us to banish you."

Like swords in the pit of my belly, the words claw at my insides. Bringing out the fact that, maybe the words are true.

"I wanna feel the fire that you kept from me. You don't own me."

He lowers the sword. "Leave. Get out of the undersea now. We do not want you."

"What?"

I stand up so quickly that my chair gets hit across the room.

"Leave."

I can't tell if he's serious. They've done this before. Almost in a taunting way. But he's serious this time,

I feel someone grabbing my arms and pulling me back.

I shake the guards off, turn around, and run.

I run. I swim out of the castle.

Age 22

Chip was my friend. I think.

He is my friend. I don't know why I say was, he's not dead.

He's undead.

That's still settling in. He leans on my shoulder, tracing his cold fingers up and down my bicep.

"I don't know how to feel you know."

He says.

"What do you mean?"

"Gill, you've killed undead, I've killed undead. It feels-"

"We've killed living too. I have anyway."

He sighs, looking up at the night sky. We sit on the deck of our ship, because Jay wanted to sleep and it's my night on watch. Also quite frankly Chip doesn't really need sleep anymore.

"What happened to you? In the under sea." He asks in a whisper.

I usually manage to avoid the subject.

"I don't see why that matters."

He lets out a scoff. "I do, I hear you in your sleep you know. You toss and turn, you talk."

"I do?"

"Yes. Sometimes it's about the moon, which makes sense after the fae wilds I guess."

I wrap my arm around his waist as he lets out a sigh. "Are the words, coherent at all?"

I've heard off people from the oversea sleep talking, but it's usually just random mumbles.

Chip nods. "Yeah, usually it's 'The moon will sing a song for me,' and stuff."

I let out a small shuddering breath. "Oh."

"Is that, weird?"

I shake my head. "It's just, something the elders used to tell me. When I was being groomed for being the chosen one. It was a saying, something to say that the moon would make prayers sent to her help you instead."

"What about the whole, I loved you like the sun stuff? It's only sometimes that I've heard that but."

"It was-" I shake my head. "When I was kid, there was this one time, it doesn't matter. Must have just been a flashback or something."

He nods with a small hum of acknowledgement.

"What happened?"

"An elder got mad at me, I was thrown in a dungeon. Said something along the lines of," I shake my head again, "I don't even remember. Um, Bore the shadows that you made with no light of my own-"

"I shine only with the light you gave me." Jays voice comes from the stairs as she comes to the top deck. "You really do need to work on your sleep talking, you do realize we all sleep in the same room."

"I can't control it." I say, pushing my self up so I'm sitting straight, unintentionally pushing Chip off of my shoulder in the process.

She shrugs, leaning on the railing of the ship.

"What does that mean?" She asks, looking at us. "I shine only with the light you gave me?"

Chip answers before I can. "It's the sun and moon thing, the moon only shines because the sun reflects light off of it. It's like saying you only mean anything while the other is there with you."

Huh, he described that perfectly.

Jay let's out a small scoff, "When did you become so wise Chip?"

"When my heart got pulled out." He answers in a humorless voice. Jay's face goes pale and Chip bursts out laughing. "You're good, I'm joking."

You know I've never felt like that here.

I've never felt like a weapon or other.

Here I'm just me.

Welp episode 114 is gonna hit him like a brick.

#◞◟faithfully yours 🍂 #◞◟faithfully yours 🍂 fanfictions #jrwi spoilers #writer #writing #fanfic #jrwi gillion #jrwi riptide #jrwi show #just roll with it #jrwi #jrwi chip #jrwi jay #just roll with it riptide #jrwi gillion tidestrider #chip lastname

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Kazui T1 Cover - Yowamushi Montblanc

How many of these until you're all tired of it? Well, we still have twelve to go after this one, so. Today's cover analysis focuses on Kazui's Yowamushi Montblanc! Very pretty souding song!

I can't bring myself to hope for it to be true As I'm still not strong enough In our contract meeting Once again I will fall into you Each and every of my pondering Translates into only so many words I loved you, but it's become too ponderous Is that all there is to it?

(Translation)

The singer of this song has romantic feelings towards another person, but they struggle to confess to them. They don't think they're strong or brave enough to do it, so they 'can't bring themselves to hope.' Every time they meet, the singer falls in love all over again, but their thoughts (ponderings) aren't fully expressed (only so many words), so their love becomes too heavy to bear (ponderous = heavy). In particular, they're afraid of the other person's reaction to those feelings, imagining that they will react with disdain.

"You should just die this very moment"

Thus, Yowamushi Montblanc is about a person who is too afraid to reveal their own feelings, with 'yowamushi' meaning 'coward.'

...

Yep! That's Kazui! Alright, end post everyone, take care!

...

Okay fine I'll talk about it a bit more.

[Cat] All those things I wanna do that I can’t say out loud I gotta keep it inside and act The beating of this heart… see… it’s no longer about good and bad… it isn’t I realize the futility, but I still can’t help but dream

Yeah, honestly, if you had told me Yowamushi Montblanc was Kazui's Trial 3 song I would not have batted an eye. The theme of being too afraid to reveal his own feelings is extremely prevalent in Kazui's story, regardless of what those feelings exactly are.

(gay gay homosexual gay)

Hell, the guy even straight up calls himself a coward in half.

[half] So many things I wish I hadn't known, I'm just a coward

In the song, the singer hides their feelings until they start drifting away from their love interest.

Who was it that I loved? I can't remember despite all that time I spent Now it's just fading away, out of my sight Although I'm sure it's still somewhere right here I can just forget about it it will disappear my own reflection [...] Yes, you are in my thoughts hanging in the air but you are slowly fading away, completely And I can no longer tell you anything

This vaguely fits the lyrics of half, which commonly reference drifting away due to indecision and fear. Who Kazui is talking to in half is honestly a pretty good question, but for our purposes, it works particularly well if we assume he's singing to the bartender.

[half] Only if your heart would change but that’s not possible Please tell me what I should do, my heart will float away and disappear

Finally, the titular Montblanc is referenced in this lyric:

It's fine for it to be true since I can't go back Or I will get scared again This mont blanc is so sweet I want to drown in its sweetness with my bare feet

The 'sweetness' likely refers to the idea of a relationship with the love interest, since the video has a lot of sweets as imagery of the singer's desires. And the snow of the mont blanc would be the sugar.

So 'scaling up the sweet montblanc with bare feet' would be revealing their feelings to enter a relationship and thereby taking in the sweetness unfiltered. The imagery of scaling a mountain makes it clear it would be demanding, but since the singer enjoys touching the snow with bare feet (touching the 'sweetness'), they would enjoy the process of putting effort into the relationship. Does that make sense? Again, it's not too hard to relate this to Kazui wanting to reveal his true feelings as well.

However, there's a bit more symbolism if you want to go into 'is this even intentional' territory, which I do. The mountain known as Montblanc is the highest mountain in the Alps and in all of western Europe, which again shows how demanding it would be to enter the relationship. However, the most common route up the mountain, the Goûter Route, is "simple and requires few technical abilities, but [...] it is also physically demanding, and may be totally exhausting to those with limited athletic ability." It's ranked PD, which I'm sure we're all aware is the second lowest difficulty for climbing mountains; not effortless, but very doable. Therefore, it is something most people can do without much difficulty, though naturally some people will struggle more due to physical limitations.

This makes sense in the context of the song, where scaling the mountain means engaging in a relationship. Society says being in a relationship is something most people should be able to do without much difficulty, but the protagonist does struggle with. There are several societal issues that converge in that point, but that's the main idea; the singer might feel insecure that they can't fulfill societal expectations.

...

Yep! That's him!

(T1) Q3: If you were allowed to do anything, what would you want to do? K: I'd like to live righteously.

(T1) Q4: Do you think that your family is proud of you? K: No. They must find me embarrassing.

Plus other stuff like this. Again, doubt I have to explain much further, Kazui's struggles to conform to expectations is another of his main character themes. One he shares with his prisoner pair partner, 08, who shall not be named lest I accidentally derail the entire post talking about her.

Anyways, that was that for Yowamushi Montblanc! Take care!

#milgram #kazui mukuhara #yowamushi montblanc cover #whole tag's burning talking about double #and here i am #vibing with my boy kazui

[opalspring]

Some observations about the gay Kazui theory

A lot of people have been discussing this and it’s super interesting so I wanted to share some stuff I noticed too! Posting this before cat since it’s possible this theory will get either debunked or confirmed by then.

Lyrics from Cat

First, let’s talk about the preview of cat from the 2nd trial song previews. One thing I personally dislike from the staff’s English translation is this part:

“Devotion-love, lame, cheating”

While the first two tl choices are good imo, the third part could have been chosen better. The reason for this being, while it’s not a wrong tl per say, 化かす (bakasu) means “to confuse”, “to delude” according to my dictionary. There’s also the expression 狐と狸の化かし合い (kitsune to tanuki no bakashiai), which refers to two people outfoxing each other. 

While I get this might be for localization purposes, I feel like the word “cheating” has connotations in English that are way too different from the original in this case. What I’m trying to say is that we should probably wait for the mv itself to draw our conclusions regarding this (though it’s also possible this really is just about cheating).

These lines caught my attention too, but for another reason:

“Love + Fate = Crap”

“Disgusting playing-house + Disguise + Fake”

While at first glance, these lyrics make it look like Kazui might be a cheater (and not shy about it), I feel like this could be a case of Kazui lashing out after he spent so much time in a relationship with a woman when he’s not attracted to them in the first place. It’s possible Kazui actually saw his wife in a best friend kind of way, and that they only got married because of their families’ and society’s pressure, compulsory heterosexuality, you know. There Are a lot of suspicious things about Kazui that he needs to explain, but maybe cheating isn’t actually one of them. We’ll see, though.

Next, let’s discuss some things from the half mv. 

How Shidou and Kazui respectively visualize their partner

This next section will reference Triage, where we have a look at Shidou’s family for the first time. As a quick note, there has been some debate over the woman in the mv potentially being Shidou's sister or other family relative but I personally believe she's his lover because of this part:

Shidou (we recognize him as he has the same outfit as in the rest of the mv) has his arm around her waist so I assumed they’re romantically involved because of it.

But how does this all connect to Kazui? You guessed it, the way Shidou and Kazui visualize their partner in their respective mvs vastly differs. Let’s have a look. 

Shidou’s visual representation of his lover.

And here’s Kazui’s.

Notice anything? In my opinion, these choices were very deliberate. As various people in the fandom have pointed out, characters in mil mvs who have faces are very important to whichever story is being told (Rei in Muu’s mvs, Shidou’s lover mentioned earlier etc). So it can make one wonder, why does Kazui’s wife, who he obviously cares deeply for, not have a detailed face when we see her? 

To continue this particular point, I want you to look at these consecutive shots from half:

It’s unclear who the blonde woman on the top is, she could be someone Kazui met at the bar, or a coworker etc. It’s not really important who she is for our theory, what’s to note is that these two shots come one after the other, and that the composition in both is extremely similar. My interpretation for this is that, between a woman who is in the grand scheme of things a stranger to him, and the woman he married, Kazui makes almost no difference in the way he visualizes them (as in facial detail).  Because ultimately, if he’s gay, no matter how hard he tries, no matter the woman, he won’t be able to love them romantically. This could be what the staff was going for here.

The green apple and the pixelated person

There’s a cool detail about the two shots above. To start off, the first one’s composition is a little curious. It follows the rule of 1/3; 2/3 with Kazui in the third third of the screen, but the remaining part of the image feels strangely empty, save for the green light at the top. 

It could represent Kazui’s solitude in the theater, but a few scenes later we get the second shot, where we see the green apple on one of the seats.

A fun fact is that, if you count the seats between Kazui and the apple, you notice that 4 seats on Kazui’s right seats the apple… Which corresponds to the second leftmost seat in the first screenshot. The apple was with him the whole time, and the green light stands right in the middle of the two. Hmm. But what does this mean? Honestly I’m not sure. If anything it means the apple is so important to Kazui it was given this special place. 

But then there’s also the pixelated person in the back of the second screenshot. Who are they? They’re probably very important to the story, especially when the apple stands right between them and Kazui.

Since the mystery person isn’t in the first shot where we’re introduced to Kazui, it could mean that whoever they are/represent, Kazui would rather not acknowledge them. At least not until he has to.

Look at the lyrics that play when this scene is on screen. 

“Where did I go wrong, probably from the beginning”

And then, during the same sentence, we get this Kazui who looks like he just had a revelation.

This sentence probably refers to the fact Kazui’s relationship with his wife was bound to fail, because of his sexual orientation. And the mystery person might be a representation of men in general, who Kazui could be attracted to.

The chair and what it could represent

At certain parts during half, it seems as if Kazui is talking to this chair. Some examples:

It should be noted that both times Kazui does this, the lyrics he sings are the same. This part in particular caught my eye:

“Please tell me what I should do”

Who exactly is Kazui talking to here? He could simply be thinking of his wife here, but since there’s so much emphasis on the chair, I thought they could be symbolic for an entity or a group of people Kazui knows. I have two guesses: it might represent either his family, or maybe society in general. 

I don’t think it’s the former because Kazui seems at odds with them and possibly got disowned, so I feel like he wouldn’t value their opinion too much. As for the second option, it could be Kazui asking us what he should have done/ how he should have handled the situation (with him being gay and unable to love his wife romantically, but not wanting to hurt her feelings). It’s hard to know because we don’t have a lot of context for this part so it could be anything really.

Some parts of the lyrics that could specifically refer to homosexuality

These don’t really fit in any of the other points I talked about but if we look at them in the context of this theory they can be pretty telling:

“So many things I wish I hadn’t known, I’m just a coward”

“What I gave up a long time ago, why is it questioning me now?”

“So many things I should have known, I’m just a coward”

Kazui’s possible coming out to his wife

In my opinion, this part could be the aftermath of Kazui coming out to his wife. Let me explain. Here we have the apple (temptation/the forbidden fruit = the idea of homosexuality here?) in the background, so that’s one thing. Add to that the lyrics playing:

“All this time till now has hurt me, The scales of my heart have decided to sway”

This line could refer to the moment Kazui felt like he had to be honest with his wife, because as much as he loved her, pretending to basically be someone he wasn’t was hurting him. Hence “the scales of his heart swaying”. This scene then led to Hinako jumping from the balcony at some point, but at the moment we don’t know the details.

Hope you enjoyed!

#milgram #milgram theory #kazui mukuhara #I swear I have mil theories that don't involve gay ponders #even if the next one is about Muu lol

[unbornwhiskeyy]

my friend died today. his name is dan. a lot of my friends here knew him and loved him. love him. i hate using the past tense about these things because even before this i lived in a more-or-less constant state of denial but also i don't feel like he's gone, it's like we've just picked this particular day in history to talk about how much we love him, which makes him feel more present than ever. he was such a generous and supportive friend, and generosity and support are good qualities on their own but it meant even more from him because he didn't bullshit and he didn't suffer fools. the first time i met him was at my friend andrew's monthly media party; he came along with my best friend maura, and he seemed a little exasperated about being there, and at first i was like, "why is this guy not having a good time," but i was only a few years away from walking into media parties and immediately getting exasperated myself. eventually we would go to maryland deathfest together and spend three days on a houseboat with our friends swifty and nick laughing our asses off at country music videos (because zuus country was the only tv channel the boat could access) in between increasingly brutal metal sets. i also remember, a few years later, dan asking me to join him for a beat shazam audition (he was insanely good at trivia, including music trivia, and had appeared on game shows before; i think he recognized my ability to identify any given song playing in a room, whether loudly at karaoke or faintly through bar speakers), so i jumped on it; i have to assume they only didn't pick us because we both blanked on ed sheeran's "thinking out loud" when they played a part of it that wasn't the chorus. i'll have these memories of him forever, and he'll always be there, in them, being dan, being that effortlessly smart guy i knew, the guy who could invite me out for a night with his pool team that i'd never met before and i'd instantly feel at home with them. i wish i had been able to see him more these past few years. there were a lot of extenuating circumstances that did not permit us to see each other very often before he died. but the conditions of material reality do not seem to matter when you are yearning for something beyond its reach. i wasn't even going to write anything about this, i already wrote a whole thing in the wrestling discord we're both on and i felt like i'd centered myself enough, but then tonight i was thinking it's fucked up i will never get to talk to dan about the kraftwerkian splendor of the 12-inch mix of madonna's "burning up" ever again, and i miss my friend and i wish he were here.

[yinnina]

𝐈

After the ceremony was over, and after everyone found out that Yuu was powerless, everyone was led to their respective dorms by their housewarden.

"This will be your new home. You are to follow all the rules," he glared at us, and most of the first years, knowing that they didn't want trouble, decided to listen, "you are to be in your rooms by bedtime, if you decide to break any rule, it will be off with your head, am I clear?"

All the students nodded, and once he was away from our view, everyone started talking, "No way he is really that strict..."

I sighed, leaving them behind and entering my room. The room wasn't huge, but it was big enough for me to fit my stuff and decorate it to my liking, or at least as much as I could decorate with the rules still applying. As I set my stuff where they belonged, I remember the ceremony.

From Grim trying to burn us alive, to Yuu being magic-less, and yet he was still able to enter the academy. It surprised me that Yuu was allowed in, but somehow, he just was.

I sighed, there were also a few new faces. I learned that my housewarden was named Riddle, and by overheating a few other students, I quickly learned the names of other housewardens.

Octavinelle's was Azul, a guy who enjoys making contracts . Scarabia was known for having Kalim, a bright, young boy as their leader. Pomefiore's head was named Vil, and you could say that he was pretty strict with beauty rules. Ignihyde's housewarden was named Idia, and he wouldn't usually be seen in crowded areas, and would rather talk through an iPad. Diasomnia was led by a guy named Malleus, and by the looks of it, he was almost never invited to anything.

There was also this other dorm, Savanaclaw, which was led by a man named Leona. It surprised me when I heard that he was royal, and from the nearby kingdom called Sunset Savannah, which meant that he was part lion.

It didn't shock me in a bad way, it just made me raise an eyebrow, more or so because it was rare. I had seen a couple of people that were part animals, but it wasn't an everyday thing, especially since I was always either stuck inside the castle, which the people back home called The Temple Of Blood, or inside my room, studying on some sort of topic during free hours while in school.

I was done unpacking, which wasn't much other than the clothes I was given, placing my uniform for tomorrow in the front of my closet, etc. It wasn't until a little later that I saw the violin laying on the corner of my room.

'Weird. I didn't even notice it... Oh well, what can be done about that other than playing the instrument?'

And without hesitation, I picked up the four string instrument, placing my chin on the chin rest and holding the bow on my right hand. I quickly tuned the violin, making sure that it sounded right without any failure.

I didn't have any particular song in mind, and knowing that I was given the room that had the thickest walls since I was a girl, I decided to play Swan Lake, by Tchaikovsky. For someone to know how to play an instrument was extremely common in my home land, and you could hear the tone of music all around the streets, you could also see a teacher or a parent teaching a young child how to play an instrument.

Even in the heat of the lands, orchestra instruments were preserved in a special room provided by my family. If there was one thing that we completely believe should be valued, it is the music that one can play.

I had memorized the music, so it wasn't all that hard, but what surprised me was that the instrument looked and sounded rather new, so I guessed that it was really taken care of, or it truly was brand new.

After I was done, I made sure to untighten the bow, and place the instrument safely back into its case. I sat on my bed for a while, thinking of a way to pass time, but nothing other than walk around and explore came to my mind. "It's getting dark, but no one will know I was even out."

I walked around, and don't get me wrong, the place was pretty, but it was rather boring. I was alone the whole time, so there was no one I could talk to, and the only place I had left to explore was the botanical garden.

Upon entering the place, I noticed that the flowers held a strong scent, but pleasant for the nostrils. I looked around the place, and noticed that the whole garden was abandoned at the moment, and while I was walking around the area, I noticed that on the floor, or rather grass that was under a tree, there laid a chessboard.

The pieces were placed on the correct order where they belonged, but one single piece was moved. The white pawn in E-Two was moved to E-four, and since I noticed that no one had played against them, I moved my black pawn from E-Seven to E-five.

I didn't do anything afterwards, not like I could when the other player hasn't moved, and decided to leave it at that. I returned back to the dorm before supper, and I did notice that most of my dorm mates had left already, only very few staying behind to chat.

I was no different from the ones that left, and once I entered the cafeteria, I noticed the small wave that Yuu gave me. I approached both him and Grim, greeting them as the small animal rambled on about his complaint. It surprised me that he was still here, but then again, the headmage looked like he would let anyone in.

"[Y/N]! Can you believe it? They ran out of sweets! The only reason I'm here is completely gone! Gone into the stomachs of other pests!"

My sweat dropped, "Pests? Sure... Anyways, how is it going so far?"

Yuu sighed, "The dorm looks like it is about to fall off, and somehow he was allowed in the academy."

"I can tell," I chuckled, "I'm surprised that he was even given his own little bow tie."

But Grim didn't listen to a word I had said, he was too focused on the situation with the sweets. Yuu, on the other hand, informed me about the current dorm they were staying in, Ramshackle dorm, and how it is hunted by ghosts and now have to renovate it all by themselves.

"Don't sweat it. I'll probably come by someday and help you," I gave him a closed-eye smile, and Yuu instantly brightened up at the thought, "but of course, I'll need something in return."

"I got my hopes up for nothing," he sulked. "I need—"

"Are you even listening?! My poor babies are gone!" Grim interrupted me, crying about the desert he wanted. I sighed and whispered in a low, sweet voice, "I'll tell you later."

I got up from my seat, approaching the stand that sold food, but was soon pushed out of the way by a boy. "Running late!" He screamed, and I was a little startled.

The boy had dark roots that faced into blonde, wore black leather jacket on top of an oversized shirt, jeans and some boots. I couldn't really see what was wrapped around his neck, but I could tell it was an orange tone yellow, and he also had animal ears on top of his head.

I clearly was in a rush to get somewhere, and he looked to be carrying some types, probably food. I didn't try to run after him, it wasn't my business what he did.

I sighed in frustration and made my way to the cafe to buy something. "Anything I could help you with?" Asked a boy with glasses, the same guy I saw at the ceremony.

"Anything that has lots of sugar, I'm kind of in need to shut someone up."

He nodded, quickly grabbing a cup of tea, "It is the best we have, sorry. It always is busy, so items run out fast when you aren't here early, especially on ceremonies or special events."

I rubbed my temples, thanking him as I took the cup away from his hand. After I was done paying for the drink, I immediately took it back to the cat-like mage, placing it in front of him. "What am I supposed to do with this?!"

"Drink it and shut up," I offered him a closed eye smile, which shut him up right away. He started drinking, sulking while me and Yuu went back to talking. He soon told me that he would head back to the dorm to try and get some sleep before his first class.

"We won't see each other. I already have my schedule assigned, and considering I'm a third year, we clearly won't have any classes together unless they're extra curricula."

"Huh?! What are your classes? Maybe we do have some together!"

"It's really tight... I have homeroom in classroom 3-A. Humanities come for the first period, and it alternates between History of Magic and Animal Languages. Science also alternates between alchemy, astrology, biology and magical potions."

"Wow-that really is a tight schedule..."

I sighed, "that's not even third period yet. Next I have mathematics, which I decided to take advanced calculus and advanced statistics. Then magic will transition to practical magic, magic analysis, ancient curses, conjuration and defense magic. I also have physical education, flying and swimming, but then again, everyone has it. Oh! I also took an extra classes!"

"Really? Which one?"

"Music! I'm glad there was an option for that one," I smiled brightly, and Yuu chuckled at my face.

"I have the same classes as you, but it's less packed, and I have a different type of math class. But I will probably see you around, in between classes."

"Did you and Grim get classes together?"

Yuu sighed in frustration, "All of them."

I laughed as my sweat dropped. This poor kid was really about to go through a rough year. "I'm sure we could meet up during free time. I say we could always meet in the botanical garden in case of any emergency."

Yuu nodded, telling Grim, who was still mad at the incident with the sweets, that they should start heading back to their corresponding dorm and maybe sleep. Grim tried telling him off by saying that he was starving, but Yuu didn't listen and dragged him away.

I just stood there, waving at them and watching them walk away. I sighed and passed my hand through my hair as I stood from my seat, walking towards the botanical garden, back to the same spot that I found the chessboard in.

Nothing had changed, and I didn't know what exactly I had expected, for a piece to magically move? I couldn't really tell, all I knew is that I expected something more than that.

I let out a small yawn, signifying that it was now my cue to leave the place, and probably just relax on my bed until I fell asleep. I approached the dormitory, hearing whispers from a few boys, but due to how tired I was, I didn't pay any attention to them, only caring about finally closing my eyes at peace.

I entered my room and locked the door as I changed onto my pajamas, which I chose randomly due to the fact that I was on the verge of falling asleep on the cold floor, only holding back because that blanket really looked warm and fuzzy.

I turned off all the lights in my room and calmly walked to the bed, drifting to sleep as my eyelids closed heavily.

'Maybe I over-did it today.'

#leona twst #leona kingsholar x reader #leona kingscholar #leona x reader #twst leona #leona kingscholar x reader #leona #twst wonderland #twst #twst leona kingscholar

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "How to make it better"

take a breathe and choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read about possible ways to make or look at your situation from a different perspective or maybe change it completely for the best. it may involve shadow work guidance or other stuff you need to focus on (!!triggers can be there!!): I'm still not very aware of the messages that need to come through but this is what I feel I need to channel for you now. Thanks @cancerchronicels for suggesting and then inviting me to post this reading and the previous one.

btw you don't have to necessarily check for the same pile you got in the "Dark shadow" pac, follow your intuition.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. Also, you're in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 - 2

3 - 4

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pile 1

You may be occasionally self sabotage. Letting your mind go places. Overthinking. Feeling scared, anxiety taking over. Being confused. Try to calm down, doing some meditation or breathing techniques. Spend time in nature, under the sun. Enjoy the warmth of its rays. Maybe get a plant and grow it (from seeds even, despite right now may not be the right moment). I think you need to take care of yourself, bobdy and mind. Talk about your fears and worries, not let them poison you inside. Don't isolate: this is sometimes dangerous, cause it can make you lose touch with reality and enhance the feeling of being alone, having to deal with things and dark thoughts alone. Which is not the case. So even having to take care of a plant or maybe a pet, could help you making you feel more in touch with the present, reminding you about the importance of the now compared to the future worries. And even slightly calm your mind and stress down. Get in touch with your friends, with other people. Engage in discussions and be open to talk about your fears too, maybe in support groups or to a professional. Read, learn more about ways to ground yourself and, if you feel to, read more about psychology and mental stress and anxiety and how they work inside our mind. Maybe even childhood trauma or c/ptsd. The feeling of unsafeness, in particular (which is generally related with childhood, the moment in which we should learn how to feel safe and protected). Remember you can act on your fears, you can learn how to deal with them without having them scaring you and worrying you that much. It's hard to live happily and nicely when such toughts keep popping up and destroying our securities. As you know feelings come and go, they don't have to govern us not even for a second. You are in charge of your mind and thoughts, even in the hardest moments. You're brave, we all know: you made it until here, until now. You can do this too. Try. And rememebr to act with love toward yourself: you only deserve love and nothing else. No matter what you've been taught in the past.

songs: american life | madonna; out of your mind | dane bowers ft. true steppers

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pile 2

Everyday remember to find some time or do something only for yourself. You deserve to unwind. Do anything creative, exercise, cook or bake, read a book, watch a movie... anything that you like to do and that makes you feel good and relaxed. Apply body lotions, take a warm bath... just focus on you. Doing this will remind you of your self worth and it will act as a countdown (if this makes any sense) to getting your goals and dreams, maybe even in a faster way. Lock outside the noises, the people who judge easily, the annoyances, the stress, and just be with you. Especially learning such a habit, of taking time for yourself, will help you remind you about how you're deserving of all the things you wish to get. You know, probably some of you may just not really know what to wish for or what to do, cause you may feel not deserving or that you're asking for impossible stuff. Words are difficult to come out (and I can't even speak/write properly). My mind is going randomly blank. Remember that is not up to you to decide what you deserve or not. You can try for whatever you feel called to, especially if you have a kind heart and good intentions, the Universe will very likely love to give you all you wish for (in particular if it's something that is good for you and your life path). Don't let your ego come in between: it is often biased by our past, by the environment we've grown up in, by the people that surround us: never feel like you're not deserving or any less of someone else or whatever it is that you're thinking and that is making your self esteem being almost non-existant. You can do and get anything, you need to prove (yourself especially) that you're worthy and that you can afford that. And trust me, you can. You attract what you wish for, so remember to show kindness to your self, to your emotions, and just be brave and end this mental pain you're self-inflicting yourself. Just try, please. You'll be surprised. Start taking care of you, giving to yourself more than to others, and see the change inside: it'll show outside too. Don't rush things, take your time. And really, grow this habit of taking care of you daily. This will make you attract even more love in your life. And I feel this is something you not just need but are also deeply searching for in your life. So yeah, change the way you act with yourself, and other things will change too. Be compassionate (bonus song: scars | papa roach). Remember to look at the root of the problem btw; at the whys you're feeling so undeserving, so to stop it (and I don't mean ending up in the wrong relationships: we unknowingly attract them cause of the way we see ourselves and the way we were parented/what we learnt in our childhood. Looking at the cause of this, will help you see the whole picture and find an healthy balance and healthy relationship).

songs: hard frequency | db boulevard; it takes two | fiji blue

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pile 3

It stings, right? Or there's something that triggers you and annoys you. It's not like pile 4 though. It is more related to the future? Pile 3 your energy is difficult to channel. You are also calm tbh, relaxed... it's like you're taking a break before starting something new, maybe a new healing path. It's like you know what is going on, but you also know you need to stop and enjoy what you've done until now. All the shadow work you've done until today. Which is great! I mean, you already know how to make it better, what am I even here for? :) You know you can enjoy, that now is the time to enjoy and just trust the process. You know that you can take a breath, recover, and then start again. Okay you may still worry at times (that's what stings). You know what you should do but you probably cannot always stick to the plan: you fear your wishes will go further if you do stop. That your dreams will not materialize or completely get blocked if you pause and enjoy for a moment. I think I'm here to remind you that your fears aren't the reality of things. That you are blocking your dreams exactly with this type of thoughts and fears, and not when you stop or enjoy and trust the process. Deep down you're aware of this, but still you cannot avoid ending up in this cycle. Maybe cause you see no actual sign or feedback in your 3d and after a while the worries you're doing something wrong may take over again. Don't. It's a trap. From your mind, your ego, and honestly, I feel it's a test from the Universe too. Trust it, no matter if you don't see actual signs. Trust that what you want and deserve is coming, but in divine timing, and when you'll be ready to really heal your trust and self confidence issues. Give it a try, please. Try for once to do the opposite, to not fall into this overthinking pattern. Give yourself and the Universe the chance to heal properly. We're here for ourselves, to enjoy, not to keep worrying and working and stressing over results and the time that passes. Our souls have a different conception of life and time compared to the one we are growing and living in. And honestly, society is making it hard to live these days. So it would be probably just good for our health, both physical and mental, if we stopped and enjoyed what we really like and feel called to do/experience. And I think that is the message for you. Stop the worry, start living for real. Let go. Even if it's hard. You know you can control your worries, even if at times it is hard. You can do it. The Universe is with you. And remember, you have time. And if you stop from worrying, you'll notice that too. And plan it the way you want to. Give yourself a break. For real.

songs: give me love | ed sheeran; breathe | backstreet boys

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pile 4

(this pile may be related to the other reading's pile 4 as well, but not necessarily. the energy feels similar)

Pile 4, I wouldn't wanna be blunt but... I honestly thought that the piles for these readings should have been just 3 but then, Idk, I guess you need to hear something else too. And probably even faster than the others as I'm typing your pile first (which is so very unusual for me). What's up with you? I do believe there is something that scares you, or annoys you, even if it's a small thing (not for everyone ofc and probably not from your point of view, and that's normal and okay: when we spiral, even the smallest thing can take up the bigger room). You need some support and direction now (my shivers don't lie). Okay, let's see. This "bad" thing in your life, this trigger, is always there. You may pretend you don't see it, and you can forget about it even, but it's always there. The moment you let go a little, it comes out again and it's ready to bug you and bring you down again. So you don't really wanna let go much anymore. You know, that's how triggers work. It's so very annoying and painful, but it's their way to tell you "hey, this thing is important for you and your life, and therefore you need to pay attention to it and understand why" (I think some of you feel like this is a little thing cause "others have it worse" or because you've been told so. Trust me, even if it's a small thing but it bugs you that deeply, it means it is important and it is not so small to you -and hey, you're here for you not for others-. You don't have to compare your life experience to the one of anyone else. You have your pain/trauma/issues to deal with, others have theirs. It's not a competition). Embrace that little "bad" thing/thought. Accept it is part of you and nurture it. Try to understand why it bugs you that much, when or from where it was born. And welcome it inside of you. Only by doing this you'll be able to go on and not be bugged/hurt or spiral so down low again. It's not an easy or fast process, remember. It may take you a while, and many different tries, even "failures" (but it's fine: if you don't try you will never know what works for you; this is a new thing, you cannot always know how everything will go beforehand, before actually trying it: you need to make a real experience of it). You can ask for help though, you don't have to do it all alone. Sometimes it's the thing we consider the easiest that ends up being the hardest we have to deal with, cause we may underestimate it, because "we have been through worse" (but we forget that "worse" was also different), or because we don't give that thing enough attention, cause it's smaller compared to others (again, it's also different) and "there are more important stuff" or "I'll deal with it later" (don't give it time to rot inside. I mean take breaks ofc, focus also on your life and the happy stuff -these help the healing-, but don't let it grow inside as you're neglecting it). There are many nice things around you, and many more in store. Don't give up, don't let this take over you. Find your way to be completely happy again. Change this, it's in your power to do this work.

songs: discoloration | dawn golden; plasticine | placebo

#pac #pick a pile #intuitive readings #pick a picture #pick a card #pick a card readings #pick a pile readings #pac reading #pac tarot #divination #psychic readings #psychic #clairs #intuition #free tarot #intuitive #tarot reading #free tarot reading #free tarot readings #tarotblr

[umbrarkzoo]

work was slow so i wrote a short story about my human au with a prompt requested by my friend- she wanted to see puppet and lefty kind of reconciling/getting along

“I’m really mad at you”

“I know.”

“I have frequent thoughts about hurting you.”

“I know.”

“You don't even have to be doing anything, your existence just fills me with rage.”

“I kn-”

“You know. And you do nothing about it. You never do anything.”

“I don't.”

There was a long pause, and upon realizing her cage was not going to retaliate, the woman loudly groaned in annoyance. God he was such a pain in the ass. Never did anything except blink once in a while, or play his stupid songs to “calm her down”. Well she wasnt calm! Who could be calm after being kidnapped? Much less in the company of such a boring person. 

Okay in his defense hes not realy himself is he Mari? She thought to herself

I dont give a fuck whatever he is - his company SUCKS

….

It sucks so bad im arguing with myself just for some entertainment. God screw this guy. 

Maybe he knew she was in a bad mood and thats why he let her out - “just for a couple minutes” he said…

“You make very strong facial expressions when you’re thinking. I wonder what youre thinking about?” The man said, his yellow eye tearing into the empty black voids she called her eyes.

oh now he wants to talk.

…

“I was thinking about how much you need to work on your staring problem, you look stupid….and creepy.” She responded- baring her sharp teeth at him.

“It’s a requirement of my job.” He responded, emotionless. 

“To look like a fucking creep?” 

“Well that… I guess… and to look after you. Always” He paused, as though in thought. “Especially after all those stunts you’ve pulled in the past.” He sounded a little annoyed. Interesting…

“Yeah well - sorry but im not about to make your job easier when it comes at the expenses OF MY OWN FUCKING FREE WILL” she yelled into his ear - just to once again get no reaction.

“You’ll get it back.” The man responded as though his ears and head were not ringing currently. 

“The time we spend together is only temporary, maybe one day you'll look back on this experience and find it was somewhat enjoyable? Just relax a bit…. For both of our sake. “

The woman was about to yell at him again for his ridiculous and very delusional suggestion, but decided she should spare her already raspy voice from more abuse. Silent treatment it was if he wanted to be an ass. 

His brow furrowed just slightly at her unusual reaction - or lack of.

“Well if it makes you that uncomfortable, I'll focus my eyes on other things from time to time. No promises if you make another escape attempt though.”

Still silence. 

“I’ll give you more time out of the “cage” too?”

Silence. 

“Okay that was messed up to say-”

“RAAAAAAAGHHHHHH CAN YOU EVER JUST SAY SOMETHING USEFUL” she betrayed her poor vocal chords but jesus this guy can never just-

Okay no, you need to calm down mari. Be calm. He is your captor- he is unpredictable. One minute hes a literal blank piece of paper and the next he starts acting like he has a personality-You know that. Hes never genuine so dont give in. Dont get angry, maybe he wants that. Be calm. Be caaaalm. 

“Ahem…” she paused. “Nevermind. Maybe its better that you stay mute.”

The man blinked.

“Oh so thats why youre mad. Ive been keeping you in the dark haven’t i?” 

….

“Yeah. literally too.” 

Okay did he smile a little just now or am i going insane-

“Well…” He started. “I suppose I could make your experience less boring by answering some questions. Just as long as you dont tell the Security Puppet or Mr. Emily-”

“Tell me about mr. emily please!” She wasted no time. There was something about that man in particular, something off. She felt so hurt whenever she saw him even though she had no idea who he was. 

“I.. Please tell me. Im not gonna say anything. Hes your boss right?”

The man looked to his side briefly, as though he was pondering something. 

“You could say that.”

“And hes the reason why im here right? Hes the one who asked for me to be here?”

“Well, he didn't really know about this whole… situation… until recently. The Security Puppet. That stripped lady. Shes the one who wanted you from the start. For Henry.”

“Oh….his name is Henry Emily?” She looked to the floor.

“Why does that sound…so familiar?” she whispered

If she had looked up, she would have noticed the very noticeable expression of discomfort that plastered itself on the larger man. He was in a great conflict with himself whether he should tell this woman everything or stick to what he was created to do. 

He ultimately stuck to the latter and remained silent. 

Screw finding answers right now, her heart started hurting. Why did she feel like she wanted to cry? She needed a distraction. If this guy saw her crying - he’d probably use it against her…

————

“Okay and that bitch who stole my look then. She created you?”

What a comment. He almost wanted to laugh. But he had to stay stoic…

“Yes,” A pause. “She is indeed the bitch who created me.” Well he could break a little bit of character one in a while. He deserved to treat himself at least a little. 

And now he wanted to laugh even harder seeing the surprised face on the small woman. He deserves a raise for how much composure he has really.. That is, if he was even getting paid in the first place. 

“Okay then….” she furrowed her brows at him. “So if I was to extract revenge on everybody whoose ever wronged me.. She would be a perfect target then, right?”

Okay now he was really starting to like this girl. If only he could drop his persona and offer to help her.

“Well she did kill me for the sole purpose of capturing you.” He internally smirked at her gasp of horror, “disemboweled me and did cruel experiments on my body for this mission. Im pretty sure Im going to get incinerated after I’ve completed this job too,” He said nonchalantly to the look of horror and rage that was forming on the womans face. If he couldn't hurt SP himself, he could at least give this captee more encouragement to do it for him, “All of this was her idea anyway, so I suppose that yes, she would be an ideal target. Though you didn't hear that from me.”

—————

Wtf….oh god no wonder this guys so weird- hes just like me!! And that BITCH shes just like william! William….. Oh that name…

——————

Her raged expression calmed itself, to the disappointment of the large man. Maybe it was immature but he was somewhat hoping shed explode right then and there and make him take her to the security puppet where he could witness a good show…. maybe join in if the brainwashing fully went away….

“You poor thing….” now her expression was turning somber. “You poor, poor man…” Tears began to form in her eyes.

Okay he wasnt expecting this….should he have kept his mouth shut?

Her shoulders started to shake and he could hear faint whimpers as she tried to control her emotions. She curled into a ball before him and started shaking back and forth.

….yeah he should have just kept his mouth shut.

“Theyre still doing this to us…” She muffled as her hands covered her face, “it must have hurt you so much… what she did to you…what they did to us,.....”

“Ummm” How was he supposed to approach this….. he didnt know she could cry.

“..how many more deaths will it take for this nightmare to end” She cried out. “DAMN HER!! DAMN THEM ALL!!!” her sobbing became louder

He really did not know what to do right now- wow this took a sudden turn.

“My friends, my family… I lost them all because of monsters like her….”

oh

“Im lost now you know. My brother…Fred…he’s not here to guide me anymore…That green man burnt them all”

OH.

“And im just a shell of myself now… I dont think Ill ever be able to leave it…. I lost them.. I think it was ‘99? What year is it anymore…”

“2017.” he blurted out, almost immediately regretting it. 

“Oh.” 

It was a rhetorical question wasn't it?

—————

The shock she was in distracted her from her pain at least. She just layed there, exhausted from her outburst, staring at the night sky before her. 

She just kept breaking her promises to herself. Now this man knew her vulnerabilities. And honestly, she didnt care anymore.

She didnt want to be paranoid. She didnt want to be angry. Not at him, not at Security Puppet, not at ….henry, not even at william. She was so tired of feeling. Numbness was all she wanted.

————

The man just sat next to her and looked up with her. It was a beautiful night. They could forget what just transpired for now, for both their sake. She was embarrassed in a way, but he didnt seem to hold anything against her.

I dont think he’s all that capable of judging me anyway.

A long time had passed, the woman's tears subsiding, though her messy makeup marked her pain for all to see. 

They sat in silence for the next couple of hours, until the man spoke up.

“Miss?”

She hummed in acknowledgement.

“What do you want me to call you if not Ch- if not that other name.”

….

“Just call me Puppet for now.”

Another minute of silence.

“And what should I call you?” She asked. 

It was about time they both introduced themselves properly anyway.

“.....Lefty” He responded rather sheepishly. 

…..

“Lefty?”

“Yeah?”

“You have a really stupid name.”

Away from her vision, he grinned at the sparkling sky. 

“I know.”

#Me dumb au #Theyre not entirely friends but they wouldn’t consider each other enemies :] #Sorry for grammar issues lol i wrote this in one sitting and i dont feel like editing x-x #btw its obivous something bad happened to lefty since hes a literal walking cage- #What triggered maris reaction was knowing it was security puppet who did that- like theres another william out there