#not as much as jem carstairs because he's like. my best boy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starfirette · 3 years

Text

shadowhunter boys as boyfriends

GENDER NEUTRAL READER | I didn't put the TLH kids (Matthew, James, etc) because the series isn't over yet and as of right now, they're still, for the most part, on the older teenager side. I'll do a Shadowhunter Girls version soon because I need Jessamine and Emma content

Including the Herondales, Lightwoods, Magnus Bane, Jem Carstairs, The Blackthorns, and Kieran.

Herondale

William Herondale is a protective boyfriend, as well as a loudmouth. He thinks he's the best because he's got you. Probably compares you to the other significant others of his friends, in the sense that you're better than everyone else. "Please, you put so-and-so's outfit to SHAME last night" "Oh, so-and-so couldn't kill a sprite if they tried, you've singlehandedly taken down shax" "will, the shax put me in the hospital..." "who the hell took it down, then?" "that was you, dear" "oh, aha, yes that's right. Well, don't feel too bad about it, love". Please just shut him UP

Jace Herondale is the kind of boyfriend who acts like he's totally independent and doesn't need to spend all his time with you, when, in reality, he feels miserable when you aren't around. "Y/n would love this shirt." Alec would tell him to buy it for you. Jace would scoff. "How corny." Alec would say 'Fine, then don't get it.' Jace would keep talking about it until Alec purchased the shirt himself, forcing Jace to gift it to you. Of course, Jace acts like a cool guy about it. "It just reminded me of you, that's all..."

Lightwood

Gideon Lightwood is the childhood bestfriend to lover. You're the one he confides in about everything. He didn't even realize he'd fallen in love with you until your family was on the verge of marrying you off. Gideon would probably stay quiet, letting you go on with the arranged marriage, until everyone around him finally explained how awful that actually is, and you're probably in love with him, too. Once Jem pointed this out, Gideon practically jumped out the window to get to you. Luckily, Jem was right.

Gabriel Lightwood is the childhood enemy to lover. You're the one he hates, and vehemently swore to never be friends with. Well one summer, your family left for a vacation in Idris. You returned for the Autumnal Equinox, all tan and gorgeous, and Gabriel realized you're actually really hot. It all goes down hill from there. He would definitely have been drawn in by your looks at first--but he DOES fall in love with you for real.

Alec Lightwood would never tell you he likes you ever. He'd rather die than confess his crush. You weren't exactly his best friend, but you were more than an acquaintance. Good luck trying to drop hints that you like him, too, because he's too salty and emo to realize that you'd ever like him back.

Carstairs

Jem Carstairs........how can I possibly explain my love for this man? Jem is a perfect gentleman. Probably coerced into marrying you by Charlotte, for his sake of health and safety of status. She truly wants what's best for Jem. And you're a good match for him!!! In this case, arranged marriage but you two fall in love.

Bane

Oh, to be the lover of Magnus Bane. You probably met him in the most absurd of ways, like a crazy meet cute in a rom com. He spoils you, buys you gifts to win your affection; doesn't accept it when you tell him no more gifts. He just wants love. You two probably elope and forget to tell people until a month or so after it's happened. Maybe even a year later. "By the way, we're having a one year anniversary party and you're invited, Tessa."

"???? What?"

"Oh, haha, yeah, we got married one year ago! So we would like, like, a Kuerig or something."

Kieran Kingson

Kieran just straight up asks you to be his mate one day. It's a strange moment. it's the middle of breakfast, you're exhausted, and Julian won't stop bitching about the iPod you supposedly stole and then lost, when really you just borrowed it and broke it during patrol. Kieran comes in, sits down; he says his good mornings to the family. Then, "Oh, by the way Y/n. I'd like you to come out with me for dinner tonight."

The clatter of the morning stops as everyone pauses and waits to hear your response. He'd apologize in private but extend the invitation a second time. He wouldn't have an issue saying he's attracted to you and even has a crush. He's nice about it, and not at all awkward. You, however, are very awkward.

Blackthorn

Mark Blackthorn adores you. He approaches you in private. He's super dramatic about it, too. You thought he was going to tell you someone was dying. But no, he just thinks you are, in his words, "glowing with beauty". Okay dude. Just kiss me already. You would be the couple that's always making out or going at it. He cannot keep his hands off you.

Julian Blackthorn is the opposite. While he adores you just as much, he's calm and doesn't feel the need to go full throttle into marriage, like his brother would be. Julian wants to have one normal experience in his life. He wants to have a movie worthy relationship, with stolen kisses and first dates and awkward hand holding. He feels so comfortable with you.

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potato-jem · 2 years

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jem carstairs // 不忘

warning: long post!

a/n: i spent way too much time on this. is finding essays fun a red flag?

lyrics and translation, sourced from: https://radishtears.home.blog/2019/07/23/lyrics-bu-wang/

jem carstairs, a boy with a tragic past who came to london with nothing but his violin, a terminal illness and his kindred soul, is arguably one of the best characters ever written, hands down. despite his hardships, he makes sure that everyone he cares about feels the deep love he has for them, and would be the type of person to smile when you walk past, no matter if he knew you or not.

one of the main parts of jem’s story is when he is forced to undergo the ritual to transform him into a silent brother for his own survival, at the cost of never marrying the love of his life, the bond between him and his parabatai being forcibly tethered and being separated from his five year home of the london institute. for over one hundred years, he had to watch the people he loved most die, while he was forced to serve the greater good for the shadowhunters. none of these deaths affected him like the death of his parabatai, will herondale.

keeping this in mind, the song 不忘/bù wàng (translation: don’t forget) was sung by singer, wang yibo, for the chinese television series, the untamed (陈情令). it is a beautiful song with such meaning, entirely sung in mandarin (jem’s first language), composed with a combination of chinese and western instruments, violin included.

now, let’s go through the lyrics that i think are linked to jem:

云深夜微凉

皎月清风拂心绕

一人对雪望

望尽前尘事过往

The night in the Cloud Recesses is cool

The bright moon and clear breeze winds around my heart

Someone watches the snow

Gazing into the days long gone

NOTE: cloud recesses refers to a location in the untamed tv show (you should watch it)

this can be interpreted as jem reflecting on the days of when it was just will and jem. jem often reflects on his time with will and with tessa, so he doesn’t forget how he felt for them, but the runes of a silent brother nulls his emotions. “the bright moon and clear breeze winds around my heart,” can be interpreted as a representation of this experience, having to associate his emotions with objects so he remembers what it is to be human. “gazing into the days long gone” is quite self-explanatory, as jem always has his two favourite people in the back of his mind (annoying the rest of the silent brethren.)

你还在问吗

问尽古来世人的痴狂

谁又在远方

再问世间故人

黑白毁誉几多量

Are you still asking?

Asking after all the relentless fools that came before

And who is there in the distance?

Asking again the departed people

Black and white, praise and blame, what is it all worth?

one of jem’s most frequent lines, an automatic reflex of his, is the question “will, is that you?” sadly enough, i would only imagine that this reflex doesn’t leave him. the first part of the chorus can be interpreted as an internalised monologue, telling himself that will is gone (because will is indeed a relentless fool). “asking again the departed people:” constantly imagining will in his mind, giving him some sort of sarcastic remark or some genuine advice. and the last sentence, “black and white, praise and blame, what is it all worth?” refers to jem’s inner turmoil towards the end of his time in the silent brotherhood.

还能忘记吗

云深共许一诺人茫茫

君又在何方

相望不忘

Can you still forget?

In Yun Shen, amidst the crowd, we made a promise together

And where are you now?

That exchanged gaze, unforgotten

maybe, not in yun shen, but remember this?

“Will rose slowly to his feet. He could not believe he was doing what he was doing, but it was clear that he was, clear as the silver rim around the black of Jem’s eyes. “If there is a life after this one,” he said, “let me meet you in it, James Carstairs.”

“There will be other lives.” Jem held his hand out, and for a moment, they clasped hands, as they had done during their parabatai ritual, reaching across twin rings of fire to interlace their fingers with each other. “The world is a wheel,” he said. “When we rise or fall, we do it together.”

Will tightened his grip on Jem’s hand, which felt thin as twigs in his. “Well, then,” he said, through a tight throat, “since you say there will be another life for me, let us both pray I do not make as colossal a mess of it as I have this one.”

yeah, that’s all i’m saying on the matter.

还能忘记吗

看客散去唯你我不忘

与君在身旁

别来无恙

Can you still forget?

The world passes by but I remember only you

You are by my side

Unchanged since we last parted

okay, this is the last verse of the last chorus. jem finally returns to the shadowhunter world, as jem carstairs. he is free from the restrains of brother zachariah, which ironically is the name he chose for himself when joining the brotherhood as it means “remember.” he finally has a chance at a normal life, without yin fen, without weird steampunk things walking around, without a dark war occuring (for the time being), and yet he still thinks of will. he only got to have will for five years, and for a love so big, jem had mourned his entire lifetime for all the time he lost.

the great andrew garfield said, “i hope this grief stays with me, because it’s all the unexpressed love i didn’t get to tell her,” which has links to the relationship between jem carstairs and will herondale. will won’t see jem marry tessa, or meet jem’s children, or grow old with him - will did that all years and years ago, while jem was trapped in his eighteen year old body for 129 years.

this song, despite being sung by a different character for another man, perfectly describes jem’s life experiences, in particular his relationship to his parabatai. although jem’s character is not limited to just being will’s parabatai or tessa’s husband, the lyrics represent the love he felt for them both and his disconnection to the shadow world, once his eyes and lips are sealed shut.

honourable mentions:

满足 - xiao zhan

heavenly - cigarettes after sex

always forever - cults

#potato jams #music #comfort character #character concept #shadowhunters #the infernal devices #tid #ghosts of the shadow market #jem carstairs #james carstairs #parabatai #silent brothers #brother zachariah #jem #tsc #shadowhunter chronicles #song analysis #song association

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)

before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"

I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.

Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.

IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF

TAVVY

DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV

I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT

“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”

“But it’s 15 in Idris!”

“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.

DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD

Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.

The warlock – not the shadowhunter.

He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.

Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.

The shadowhunter – not the warlock.

I AM SCREAMING

I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about

“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”

Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?

ARCHITECT TAVVY

SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS

SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES

“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”

“Cause they are chill?”

“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.

Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)

ANJALI IS A CENTURION

LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS

I still ship them.

“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”

Well, that was a quick change-

Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.

THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS

great now I miss Raphael

I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY

that is so thoughtful of him though...

tears.

“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.

“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.

“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”

Of course, it is. No one is surprised.

Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”

“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.

white people and their bland foods smh

“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”

As she should be

UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE

He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.

"Beautiful"

I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO

I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP

FUCKING RUMORS

I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE

“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”

There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.

No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.

But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.

YET

Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.

OH MY GOD THESE TWO

But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.

I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D

“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.

I-

same.

NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-

RAFAEL LMAO NO

"I hate her she's so annoying"

continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone

Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?

And he calls Max oblivious.

oh class started

shit

IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING

LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY

JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD

“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”

“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.

LMAO POOR DAVID

“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”

He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.

yup, that's them.

“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”

“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”

He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.

Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.

Idiots

ok, there is so much to unpack here.

DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??

These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI

“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”

“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.

“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.

of course, he is.

G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD

oh shit

WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME

what's the rumor and who do I need to kill

He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.

what is her problem?

what the fuck

I need a minute

I need a minute to digest that

I'm so glad I closed my camera in class

what the actual fuck did she just say

tell me I'm hallucinating

times like these I wish I was Jared 19

no, because I'm actually speechless right now

Paige and Irene need therapy

OH SHE WENT THERE

“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”

THANK YOU

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON

I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him

I can't believe this

“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”

“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”

OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU

hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight

I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME

“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”

I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.

This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.

yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.

MAX IS SMOKING TOO

YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

oh wait

oh they might be alec's

yeah

For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.

Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.

He kept talking about portalling people to hell.

MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!

But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.

They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.

YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.

NO MAGNUS

THAT'S IT

MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL

WE'RE DOING IT

why do we hurt others?

my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units

me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.

“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”

EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.

“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”

AS HE SHOULD

Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.

He's right though.

it'll take time. lots of it maybe.

BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.

It fucked with his mind so much.

Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS

“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”

MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER

He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.

Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.

EXACTLY

Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.

It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.

GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO

(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)

His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.

that's adorable actually.

“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”

“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”

“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”

“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.

Therapy is boring but useful so-

He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.

He needed to go back home.

UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES

I'm so proud of him for this...

I still say we kill these people.

JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE

UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF

Camilla Alvarez.

well well.

OH THEY KISSED

“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”

hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT

Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.

Rafe: OMFG WHAT

Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.

AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU

THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING

“He is hot.”

He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”

“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.

Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”

I'm liking this ship...

I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP

but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs

Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.

Rafe: ????

Dad: I hv friends thr.

Rafe: ???

Dad: Thy r watchn u.

Rafe: Creepy but okay.

HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV

THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL

Do it

MILA IS GOING TO NY!!

I like her. she's nice.

He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”

“Why?”

“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”

honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs

Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.

no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.

“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.

LMAO

Max and I are vertically challenged.

“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”

So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.

well-

“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.

“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.

“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”

“Dick."

I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO

When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.

There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.

There was only growth.

His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.

This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.

YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.

“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”

Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”

“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”

I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.

“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”

YES EXACTLY

“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”

I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.

“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.

“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”

affectionate sigh that's alec.

“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”

Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”

“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.

Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.

Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.

Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.

I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class

I'm so proud of him.

“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”

“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.

“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”

THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.

THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG

“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.

Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine

“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”

YES CRISTINA

“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”

What if I just strangles him

“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”

“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.

“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.

“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.

“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.

The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)

THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL

“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.

YES ANJALI

Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”

“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.

CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES

“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”

“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”

YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE

“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”

SHOW THEM, QUEEN

How did she know his birthday????

ahem

“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”

There was absolute silence then.

“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”

The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.

“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”

She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.

Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.

also, alec looking scared-

“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.

“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”

“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.

YES YES AND YES

“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.

“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”

“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”

“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”

Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️

"She hates me!"

“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”

Stupid but brave.

YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!

ANJALI WHO HURT YOU

WHO DARED TO

Names. Give me names NOW

Jaime no...please no not Jaime.

please please, please

ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...

“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”

This is such an Anjali thing to say.

OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??

me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...

BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...

UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE

see ya on Friday!!

OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.

But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!

Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!

#lbaf

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older-brother-kit · 3 years

Text

The Sibling Matchmakers Club ch. 5

It’s been quite a while (sorry about that, there were things irl that were happening) but I’m back with chapter 5! Here’s the link for the chapter on ao3, and the link for chapter 1 on both tumblr and on ao3. Please let me know what you think on a reblog or a comment!! <3

Chapter 5: Together Once Again

Tessa Gray couldn’t stop smiling. James was finally coming back after what felt like forever, even though in reality it had been around a month. Tessa was sitting at the gate James would soon be walking out of, and she couldn’t keep her eyes off the doors. She’d never gone so long without seeing her son before.

James wasn’t the only one she’d gone a long time without seeing. Tessa used to try not to think about it because she’d tear up every time, but James actually wasn’t her only child. A long time ago, there had been three: James, Lucie, and Mina. When James and Lucie were 3 and Mina was almost 2, Tessa had gotten divorced and the children had all been split up. They had agreed not to tell the kids about each other and just raise them separately, thinking it was the best option.

Tessa regretted it immediately after signing the paperwork.

She thought about Lucie and Mina all the time. Her daughters, her precious daughters. What were they like now? Lucie used to be such a curious baby, always pointing out new things and trying to fit everything she could into her mouth. Mina used to constantly smile and giggle, and she loved grabbing her older siblings’ fingers. Every time they called her Mommy or Mama, Tessa’s heart would burst with happiness.

She would never get to hear them call her Mom again. It was a rough thing to remember, and Tessa’s smile slowly faded. She wouldn’t even know how to contact their fathers now, after the messy break up they’d had. If she could go back in time and change it she would, but it was far too late. I hope they’re happy and healthy, wherever they are. It wasn’t her first time wishing for such a thing.

Her train of thought was put on hold when people started to walk out of the door after getting off the plane, and Tessa shot up from her seat. She carefully looked through the growing crowd, searching for a young boy with curly hair. “James,” she called out when she couldn’t find him. “Jamie?”

“Mom?” a voice said, and Tessa turned around.

She felt her heart stop in her chest. There was a young girl who looked to be the same age as James, with wavy brown hair and light blue eyes. Blue eyes, Tessa thought. Will’s eyes. A girl with Will’s blue eyes and Tessa’s own brown hair just called her Mom.

“Mom?” the girl said again, looking up at her with a tight grip on her suitcase. “I’m-”

“Lucie?” Tessa whispered. There was only one person it could possibly be. “Is that you?”

The girl’s eyes widened. “Yes,” she breathed. “I’m Lucie, Lucie Herondale.” She raised a shaky hand towards Tessa. “Can I-”

Tessa moved quicker than she ever had before, wrapping her daughter up in a tight hug. “Lucie, I’ve missed you,” Tessa said, unable to stop the tears rolling down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe she was holding the daughter she hadn’t seen in nine years. “It’s been so long. I’m sorry, we never should’ve been separated.”

“Mom,” Lucie cried, and Tessa could feel the girl’s tears on her shirt. “I’ve always wanted to meet you.”

“I thought about you all the time,” Tessa admitted softly. “You and… Hold on.” She paused and carefully stepped away from Lucie, confused. “How did this happen? Where’s James? How much do you know?”

Lucie wiped at her eyes and smiled. “James and I met at camp. Mina, too.”

“Mina?” Tessa gasped, feeling the tears coming back. “My Mina? Is she alright?”

“She is.” Lucie said, nodding enthusiastically. “She’s really nice and I’m happy we found out we’re sisters. James is really cool too, even if we didn’t get along at first. I can’t believe I have a twin!”

“I’m glad,” Tessa said, before hugging her daughter once more. “I’m so glad you’re all healthy and happy. I have no idea how you three ended up at the same camp and figured this out. I especially have no idea how you managed to switch flights,” Lucie gulped at that, “but I love you and I’m so happy to see you again.”

Lucie nodded into Tessa’s shirt. “Papa is great, but I’m happy that I have a mom and another dad. I’ve always wondered about you.”

Tessa clung to her daughter tighter. “I think about you all the time. I’ve always hoped you and Will were doing okay.”

She couldn’t believe this was happening. Tessa had been thinking about her other two children earlier, but she never would have guessed that one of them would show up. She missed James, and she desperately wanted to see Mina again now too. If she could see all of them in a room together, laughing and smiling, Tessa would be the happiest mother in the entire world.

She was looking forward to it.

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Will Herondale couldn’t sit still, so he was standing. Not that he could stand still either.

He was so excited to see Lucie that he couldn’t stop bouncing on the balls of his feet. Before, he’d been pacing around the gate entrance and checking his phone for the time every five minutes. The passengers were all coming out now, and Will was scanning the crowd to look for his daughter.

“Lucie!” Will yelled out, smiling at the thought of seeing his daughter again.

“Hello,” a soft voice said from behind him, and Will turned around to see a young girl who must’ve been a little younger than Lucie. She had black hair put up in two pigtails, and dark brown eyes. “Are you Will Herondale?”

“Yes,” Will answered slowly. “Who-” Will stopped after getting another good look at her face. No… There was no way it could be her. Yet at the same time, the girl looked an awful lot like Jem Carstairs and Tessa Gray.

“I don’t know if you remember me or not,” the girl started shyly, “But I’m Mina, Mina Carstairs.”

Will couldn’t look away. “Mina,” he whispered. “How could I ever forget you?” He quickly bent down and wrapped his daughter up in a bone-crushing hug. “Mina,” he said again into her hair. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

Mina hugged back just as tight. “Is it okay if I call you Papa like Lucie does?” she asked softly.

Will laughed, and took that moment to rub the tears from his eyes. He would admit to crying --he’d missed Mina dearly. “Of course you can,” he said. “That’s what you did when you were a baby. We’re not biologically related, but you’re still my daughter too. That’s how we always planned on raising you and the others.”

There was a moment of comfortable silence where neither of them let go of each other, but eventually Mina separated them. “James is with Dad,” she told him, smiling. “And Lucie is with Mom.”

“I wondered,” Will said, and laughed again. “I have no idea how all this happened, but if anyone could pull this off it would be you three. I’m guessing you met at camp?”

Mina nodded. “Lucie was my roommate,” she stated, then paused. “James and I met in the cafeteria on the first day, but, well.” Mina smiled, a hint of mischief in her eyes. She had Jem’s eyes but Tessa’s smile, and it made Will’s heart ache. “We sort of got into a prank war. I may or may not have started it.”

“Oh?” Will asked, delighted. “Truly a girl after my own heart. You must take after me; I was undefeated at prank wars, back in the day.”

Mina took his hand, and he grabbed her suitcase with the hand not occupied. Together, they started walking out of the gate area. “My brother taught me a lot of pranks, you’d love him.” Mina said, swinging their hands slightly.

Will snapped his head to her direction. “James?” he beamed. “How is he, is he doing well?” He had raised Lucie and reunited with Mina, but Will hadn’t seen James in a very long time. Will had often thought about James and Mina and wondered how they were doing. He’d missed them both very much, and couldn’t believe he was seeing Lucie again after so long. It was a huge relief that his other children seemed to be doing well.

Mina’s eyes widened. “Oh. I guess you wouldn’t know.”

After hearing her words, Will felt like someone had doused him in ice cold water. His heart beat faster as he imagined a thousand different things that could have possibly happened to his son, all bad. “Is he okay?” he asked, trying to keep calm.

“No, not like that!” Mina waved her arm frantically, as if to wipe away the scared look that must’ve shown on Will’s face. “It’s just that, James isn’t my only brother. I was actually talking about my older brother, Kit.”

Will frowned. “Older brother?” he asked. It would’ve made sense if Mina had said younger brother, since Jem could have always gotten together with someone else after the divorce and had another child. Will ignored the pain his heart felt when imagining Jem with someone else. A child older than Mina wouldn’t make sense however, since Jem hadn’t been with anyone before Will and Tessa. They had been Jem’s first relationship. First and only, Will’s mind reminded him. It was supposed to be first and only. It was supposed to be forever.

“Kit is adopted,” Mina clarified, and Will let out a sigh of relief. Not that he was relieved Jem hadn’t married and had a child with someone else or anything. If Jem married someone else, it wouldn’t be any of my business, Will told himself. “Dad knew Kit’s mom a long time ago, and when Kit’s parents died Dad took him in even though he had never even met Kit before.”

“That makes sense,” Will murmured, smiling. “Jem would do that. He’s always been the kindest person I’ve ever known.”

“He always wants to help people,” Mina agreed, giving him a quick look that he couldn’t interpret.

The two of them eventually made their way out of the airport, but Will couldn’t stop thinking of his past loves and their children. Lucie was with her mother and James was with his other father, but the three of them would have to be switched back. Will would finally see his family all in one room and complete again, after all those years. Thinking about it made him anxious and excited at the same time.

He couldn’t wait.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Jem Carstairs held back a laugh, knowing that if he did laugh then Kit would be offended. They were currently waiting in the airport for Mina to get off her flight, and Kit wouldn’t stop tapping his feet or messing with his hands. Jem himself wasn’t as fidgety, but he did miss his daughter and couldn’t wait to see her. He knew Kit would be too embarrassed to directly tell Mina that he missed her, but his nervous ticks while waiting for her gave him away. It always amused Jem, when Kit tried to hide the feelings that were so obviously exposed by his actions.

“Oh, they’re coming!” Kit exclaimed, pointing to the now open doors where people were rushing into the airport after getting off the plane. Both Jem and Kit quickly stood up and started looking for Mina.

A lot had happened since Mina had left for camp. One of Jem’s coworkers retired, and Jem had to pick up a lot more patients than usual when the hospital had trouble replacing him. He’d been busy throughout the time Mina had been gone, as they’d only found a good replacement a few days back. So Jem had spent more time at the hospital, though of course he went home and spent almost all of the time he wasn’t working with Kit.

There had also been a new, unexpected development: Jem now had a girlfriend, Zara Dearborn. Zara was hired as a nurse a couple months ago, and they’d often work together. She was a smart woman with great wit, and she was always so kind to her patients and to him. When Zara asked him out, he couldn’t say no. He had finally felt comfortable introducing her to Kit and having her over at the house in the past few weeks, and Kit seemed to have a neutral opinion on her. Jem had hoped for a more positive reaction, but he knew that if Zara and Kit just spent more time together, they’d grow to like each other.

Jem hadn’t told Mina about Zara yet. He figured that it would be best to talk to his daughter about his girlfriend in person, rather than over the phone. Today was a family day that Jem wanted to spend with his children only, but he would introduce them soon. He hoped that Mina and Zara would get along. As much as he liked Zara --and he did, so much that recently he was considering getting an engagement ring-- his children would always matter more to him, and that was final.

“Excuse me,” a voice said, and a young boy walked up to them. He had curly black hair, gray eyes that looked almost gold in the light, and looked to be a little older than Mina. “Are you the Carstairs family?”

Jem recognized him instantly.

“Yeah,” Kit answered, raising an eyebrow. “Do you know us?”

“James,” Jem breathed out, barely believing what was right in front of his eyes. “Jamie. Is that you?”

Kit looked between them, alarmed. “Uh, I’m not sure what I’m missing here and why both of you suddenly look like you're going to cry, but an explanation would be nice.”

“Dad,” James called with a shaky voice, and he stepped forward. Jem stepped closer as well, and in no time at all he was holding the son he hadn’t seen in so long. He could barely believe this was happening.

It had been many years since Jem had last seen his other son, and James had grown up to look a lot like Will Herondale with Tessa Gray’s eyes. Jem couldn’t help but love him more than ever before. He had no idea how James was here instead of Mina or how they’d figured out the truth in the first place, but Jem wasn’t complaining. He missed Mina, but it felt like a lifetime since he’d last seen James. Jem thought of Lucie, and if she was also involved in this somehow. He hadn’t seen Lucie in just as long, and he missed his other daughter.

James slowly let go of him, bringing his head up from where it had been buried in his dad’s shirt. His hands were trembling. “I didn’t know if you remembered me or not,” he whispered, wiping at his eyes.

Jem crouched down so that they were eye level, resting a hand on his son’s shoulder. “I would never forget you,” he told him honestly, his eyes tearing up. After all these years, he still thought of James and Lucie often. It wasn’t possible for him to forget and stop missing his own children. “And I never stopped loving you, either.”

James looked like he was going to cry again, but instead pulled Jem in for another hug. Looking over his shoulder, Jem locked eyes with Kit, who was looking back at him with wide eyes.

“Dad,” Kit said, the bewilderment clear in his voice. “Did you have a secret kid or something? Though if he’s named after you it couldn’t have been secret.” He paused, thinking out loud at this point. “I mean I guess James is a common enough name, it could be coincidence. He is your son, right? I’m assuming because he called you dad which didn’t seem to surprise you, and you seem to know him, but if this is just some huge misunderstanding-”

“Kit,” Jem interrupted, amused. He and James let go of each other, and Jem stood up straight. “He’s my son. Mina’s other parents and I, we had two other children aside from Mina.”

“The three of us met at camp,” James explained, looking happy to clear things up. “We figured out we were all siblings and switched flights. Lucie is with Mom in New York, and Mina is with Papa in London.”

“Switched flights?” Jem asked, surprised. “How did you manage that?”

“You’re better off not knowing.” James said after a slight pause, and avoided eye contact. Jem raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask any other questions on the topic.

“Huh,” Kit said.

“Lucie,” Jem said. “It’s been so long. How is she, is she doing okay? Are you doing okay?” Jem was desperate to know that his other children were alright, that they grew up happy and healthy.

“I’m good! And Lucie, she’s good too. She’s very…” James hesitated, likely searching for a good descriptor. “Excitable.” He said the word slowly, as if it was a word from a book that he’d read but never actually said out loud before.

Jem laughed. “She sounds like Will at that age.”

Kit blinked. “Will?”

“Will Herondale and Tessa Gray, Mina’s other parents,” Jem replied, answering the unasked question. “They’re also the other parents of James here, and Lucie who you’ve yet to meet.”

“What happens now?” Kit asked. “We have to get everyone back together eventually, right?”

Jem wondered how that meeting would go. He hadn’t seen Will and Tessa in so long, but he had never forgotten them. There were many years when Jem thought that he’d never be able to fall in love with anyone else. Zara wasn’t the first person to ask him out, but Jem had always said no before. No relationship could ever compare to what he’d once had, and it took a while for Jem to realize that that was okay. When Zara had asked him out on a date, Jem decided to say yes, and he didn’t regret it. He really did love Zara, and they were happy, but he couldn’t help but wonder if old feelings would resurface if he saw Will and Tessa again. He decided to save those thoughts for later.

There were James, Mina, and Lucie to think about. They would all have to meet up to switch back eventually, but Jem liked to focus on the part where he’d be able to see all of his children, including Kit, together. He’d missed James so much, he wanted to see Mina after being separated, and he ached to see Lucie again. The idea of all three of his younger children interacting with Kit also made him happy.

Jem preferred to focus on the positive side of things, and he couldn’t wait to see all of his children happy and together.

-----

It’s been so long that this tag list might not be accurate and people probably changed their usernames, so let me know if you’re name isn’t here and you wanted to be added to the list!

Tag List: @julieandthefandoms @zfoxdraws @thomaslightwood @thechangeling @livia-dovehallow @themostawesomehuman @hands-dripping-ink @panicatwallmaria @immortal-enemies @bookishgeekygirl @lightlady599 @biablackthorn @haleylightwood @celias @honorablescythecurie

77 notes · View notes

bookswitchcraftandcats · 3 years

Text

Rainy Days (Part 1 of 4)

Link to AO3 --- Part 2

Summary: Emma and Julian are in charge of the London Institute for a week and find a box that once belonged to Cordelia Carstairs and contains poems written to her by James Herondale. The story switches between Emma and Julian and oneshots about things that happened in Jordelia's life to inspire the poems.

Sorry if the formatting for the poems is messed up, I tried.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma and Julian walk through the halls of the London Institute. Growing up, Julian always loved London, he found the city to be inspiring for paintings and loved the older feel of the buildings. They were here for a visit and also because Alec asked them to watch over it for a few days while Julian’s Aunt Marjorie was on vacation. Both of them love London and spent most of their time going to Hyde park and all kinds of little cafes but unfortunately, today was not a good day to be exploring the city.

Being from LA, they hardly ever saw rain and they felt as though even if they did, it wasn’t usually this much. It was pouring outside and nearly flooding the streets, even though it was the middle of the day it was so dark outside you could hardly see. So, the young couple decided to stay inside and explore the institute instead.

“Do you think the sun ever shines in London?” Emma asks while looking out the window. Today they were in the library just trying to get some work done. Julian laughs and then walks over to join her at the window, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Want to take a break and explore for a little bit?” He asks, taking her hand. They headed off into the rest of the building, looking for an adventure.

The London institute was one of the biggest in the world, it felt as though you could go for miles without ever seeing the same room twice. Now Emma and Julian were laughing as they raced through the historic halls, they hadn’t had much time to themselves lately and desperately needed this break. Every so often they would stop and take pictures of tapestries or portraits that Jules would want to try to paint once they got back home.

They came to a tapestry of a pond with ducks. It had a bit of text sewn into the bottom corner that just said, “never trust a duck.” They thought that was kind of wierd to have but it looked very old. They were approaching a whole hallway that seemed like it hadn't been touched in decades. The wallpaper reflected the style of another time period and the pictures were covered by a layer of dust.

Now out of breath the two stopped for a second and smiled at each other. They may not be parabatai any more but they still knew what the other was thinking. This was the most fun they have had in years. Julian stepped forward and kissed his girlfriend. Emma returned this with passion. Jules’ arms around her waist and her arms thrown around his neck.

One thing leads to another and next thing you know they find themselves stumbling backward into one of the abandoned bedrooms. They keep making out as the door slams behind them, falling onto the bed. Emma then suddenly stops and looks across the room curiously.

She had caught something out of the corner of her eye, a name. Her name. There was a wooden jewelry box with the name Carstairs engraved on it. It sat on a bookshelf next to an old leather bound book titled The Beautiful Cordelia and a book of Persian mythology. Looking around the room, it seemed as though no one had been in here for years. Julian followed her gaze and quickly caught on. Emma looked up at Julian,

“Do you think this could have belonged to one of my ancestors?” She asks while picking up the box.

“Probably. Didn’t Jem used to live here? Maybe it is his?” He responds as they walk back to the bed. They set the box down between then and open it up. Inside it is filled with treasures that belonged to someone a century ago. The first thing they pull out is a worn portrait.

“I don’t think it is Jem,” Emma says as she hands the picture to him. It depicts a girl with bright red hair holding a familiar gold sword. The same sword that Emma carries with her every day.

“Is that,” Julian starts with a bit of surprise, “Cortana?”

“I think so,” Emma says. “So this must be Cordelia Carstair.” She had grown up hearing stories about the warrior that fought greater demons in London and wielded the same Carstairs sword. She was said to be one of the bravest shadowhunters of her time. She had also met with Lily Chen during one of her visits to New York. The vampire had known Cordelia and had a few stories of her own to share.

“This must be a box of her belongings, and this probably used to be her room.” She continues while reaching in to grab a stack of notes. On each one was written a poem and at the bottom they were signed ‘J.H.’

“H” Julian wonders aloud, “I wonder if it stands for Herondale.”

“It does” says Emma, “James Herondale was her husband.”

“Do you think he wrote these poems to her?”

“I don’t know, maybe?” She says and then pulls out another portrait from the bottom of the box. It was of a boy with dark hair and gold eyes. They weren’t quite sure who this was but had a sort of an idea. They could always ask Tessa later too, she had sent a fire message earlier that day saying she was going to stop by tonight with Jem.

“Do you want me to read the poems?” Emma asks, retrieving the first one from the box. Julian nods and then she starts reading.

Cortana

You carry a sword of mercy and power It’s blade an extension of your own will. It can cut through the wickedest of powers, And slice through the chains that bind me.

The Sunlight reflects off it’s gold surface. Holding confidently to the grip of the hilt, Cutting down enemies for miles and miles, You could tear this very world in two.

The sword for the purest of hearts, For the one who has my own heart. The most beautiful of weapons ever made, Belongs to the most beautiful person I know.

It was another day taken over by the rain and The Merry Thieves and company were all sitting around the Devils Tavern discussing their latest projects. Lucie was just finishing reading her latest chapter of The Beautiful Cordelia. This section happened to be about “Lord Asher” and his new boyfriend, a knight named “Sir Tobias”. This prompted blushing from Alastair and Thomas while the others made jokes.

Cordelia was sitting next to James on the couch resting her head on his shoulder. She enjoyed these little displays of affection and was very content. James looked at her and smiled and then all of the sudden Mathew jumps up and says,

“Jamie, do you have any poems that you have been working on?” James sighs and then walks over to the book shelf and pulls out a leather bound notebook. He sits next to Cordelia and then starts flipping through the pages looking for a poem to read when the word Cortana catches her eye. She puts a finger on the page and looks at her husband, he winks and she blushes. James then quickly continues flipping through pages before his nosey parabatai notices. He starts reading the group one of his poems and they continue chatting for the rest of the afternoon.

Cordelia and James say their goodbyes and head back to the institute. Their carriage was kind of far away so they had to walk a bit in the heavy rain, not that either of them minded holding hands in the rain.

They were running and jumping in puddles, they would be wet anyways so what's the harm? Cordelia laughed as James pulled her in for a kiss under the street light. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. They pulled apart and smiled, walking off to their warm, dry carriage.

James put an arm around Cordelia as they rode home, they were both tired from a long day and the gloomy weather. By the time they got to the institute they were both half asleep and wet from the rain. They head up to their room to change into some dry clothes before laying down on their bed. Cordelia looks at James,

“So, what was that poem about?” she questions with a smirk.

“The Cortana one?” James says while grabbing the leather bound book from his bag.

“Yes,” Cordelia says, looking over at the journal in his lap. He turns to the page with the title at the top.

“Would you like me to read it to you?” he asks in a quiet whisper. She nodded.

You carry a sword of mercy and power It’s blade an extension of your own will.

He is right next to her and she can feel his warm breath as he reads each line. She thinks of her own sword, the sharp edge for mercy, the sword itself full of power. The Sword was an extension of her will, it had chosen her and would always come to her in a fight. James kisses her cheek.

It can cut through the wickedest of powers, And slice through the chains that bind me.

It had cut through wicked powers, when she needed to save James. She wasn’t even thinking then, she just knew she needed to save him. She had also cut through the bracelet that binded him to Grace, freeing him. She knew that even if he didn’t love her, he should be free to choose for himself who to love, but he did choose her.

The Sunlight reflects off it’s gold surface. Holding confidently to the grip of the hilt, Cutting down enemies for miles and miles, You could tear this very world in two.

She had fought many demons, even princes of hell and her sword never failed. James was always by her side fighting too. Together they could defeat the most dangerous of creatures, they even tore through the layers of this world once to stop one. Her love for James extended beyond the bounds of this world and she would do anything to get to him.

The sword for the purest of hearts, For the one who has my own heart.

She didn’t know if her heart was necessarily pure, she could only try her best. She loved James and he certainly had her heart too. She could feel her heat racing while watching his lips form the words in a calm whisper.

The most beautiful of weapons ever made, Belongs to the most beautiful person I know.

This made Cordelia blush a little, James’s eyes turned to meet hers as he closed the book. He carefully tore the page from the notebook and handed it to her.

“This was meant for you anyways,” he says as he kisses her softly on the lips. She placed the paper on the nightstand. “I love you Daisy.”

“I love you too,” Cordelia says as she kisses him again. They then lay back in bed and fell asleep next to each other, listening to the rain outside as it lulled them into a deep and loving sleep.

Tag list: @fortheloveofthecarstairs @thehotfaeriethreesome @shadowrunner2000 @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @surrounded-by-exquisite-clutter @gabtapia @niathesanctuary-bolastair-kanej

Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list :)

#chain of gold #chain of iron #the last hours #cordelia carstairs #james herondale #jordelia #the dark artifices #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn #the shadowhunter chronicles

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beclynn-herondale · 3 years

Text

Things Jem has said or thought about Jace

(all of it belongs to CC and is from City of Heavenly Fire and Ghosts of the Shadow Market)

"Herondales." Zachariah's voice was a breath, half laughter, half pain. "I had almost forgotten. No other family does so much for love, or feels so much guilt for it. Don't carry the weight of the world on you, Jace. It's too heavy for even a Herondale to to bear." - Jem

"Jace Herondale, once more a Herondale is the bringer of my deliverance. I should have anticipated." - Jem

When the boy landed on deck, feet spread wide and staff twirling between his hands, he was laughing. It was not a child's sweet laugh, but a wild exuberant that rang out stronger than the sea or sky or silent voices. He sounded young, and defiant, and joyful, and a little mad. Brother Zachariah had thought earlier in the night that he did not hear laughter often. It had been an achingly long time since he had heard a laugh like that. - Jem

"if you pretend to feel nothing, the pretence may become true. said Jem. "That would be a pity." - Jem

"Never fear, said Brother Zachariah. "I am fighting with you."

Zachariah could see the boy's thin back. He seemed braced to be a disappointment.

Robert said, "I am sure you're a good boy." Jonathan did not look sure. Robert saved himself the awkwardness by conspicuously examining the controls. The boy left the bridge, graceful despite the lurch of the boat and how weary he must be. Zachariah was startled when young Jonathan advanced across the deck to where Zachariah himself sat.

Jonathan carried Brother Zachariah's staff back to him, balanced flat as a tightrope along his palms, and laid the staff with a respectful bow on Zachariah's knees. The boy moved with military discipline unusual in one so young, even among Shadowhunters. Brother Zachariah had not known Michael Wayland, but guessed he must have been a harsh man.

"Brother Enoch?" the boy guessed.

No, said Brother Zachariah. He knew Enoch's memories as his own. Enoch had given the boy his first mark, though his own memories were gray with lack of interest. Brother Zachariah briefly wished he could have been the Silent Brother who oversaw the rite of passage for this child.

"No," the boy repeated slowly. "I should've known. You moved differently. I just thought it might be, since you rolled your staff to me."

He bowed his head. It struck Zachariah as a sorry thing, that the child would not have expected even the smallest mercy from a stranger

"Thank you for letting me use it," Jonathan added.

I am glad it was useful, returned Brother Zachariah.

The boy's glance up at his face was shocking, the flare of twin suns in what was still almost night. They were not the eyes of a soldier but a warrior. Brother Zachariah had known both, and he knew the difference. The boy took a step back, nervous and agile, but stopped with his chin high. Apparently he had a question. Zachariah was not expecting the one he asked. "What do the initials mean? On your staff. Do all Silent Brothers have them?"

They looked together at the staff. The letters were worn by time and Zachariah's own flesh, but they had been struck deep into the wood in the precise places where Zachariah would put his hands on them when he fought. So, in a way, they would always be fighting together. The letters were W and H.

No, said Brother Zachariah. I am the only one. I carved them into the staff on my first night in the City of Bones.

"Were they your initials?" the boy asked, his voice low and a little timid. "Back when you were a Shadowhunter, like me?"

Brother Zachariah still consider himself a Shadowhunter, but Jonathan clearly did not mean any offense.

No, said Jem, because he was always James Carstairs when he spoke of what was dearest to him. Not mine. My parabatai's. W and He. William Herondale. Will.

The boy looked struck yet wary at the same time. There was a certain guardedness about him, as if he was suspicious of whatever Jem might say before he even had the chance to say it.

"My says—said—a parabatai can be a great weakness."

Jonathan said the word "weakness" with horror. Jem wondered what a man who had drilled a boy to fight like that might have considered weakness. Jem did not choose to insult an orphan boy's dead father, so he arranged his thoughts carefully. This boy was so alone. He remembered how precious that new link could be, especially when you had no other. It could be the last bridge that connected you to a lost life. He remembered traveling across the sea, having lost his family, not knowing that he was going to his best friend.

I suppose they can be a weakness, he answered. It depends on who your parabatai is. I carved his initials because I always fought best with him.

Jonathan Wayland, the boy who fought like a warrior angel, looked intrigued.

"I think—my father was sorry he had a parabatai," he said. "Now I have to go live with the man my father was sorry about. I don't want to be weak, and I don't want to be sorry. I want to be the best."

If you pretend to feel nothing, pretense may become true, said Jem. That would be a pity.

His parabatai had tried to feel nothing, for a time. Except what he felt for Jem. It had almost destroyed Will. And every day, Jem pretended to feel something, to be kind, to fix what was broken, to remember names and voices almost forgotten, and that would become truth.

The boy frowned. "Why would it be a pity?"

We battle hardest when that which is dearer to us than our own lives is at stake, said Jem. A parabatai is a both a blade and shield. You belong together and to each other not because you are the same but because your different shapes fit together to be a greater whole, a greater warrior for a higher purpose. I always believed we were not merely at our best together but beyond the best either of us could be apart.

A slow smile broke across the boy's face, like sunrise bursting as a bright surprise upon the water.

"I'd like that," said Jonathan Wayland, adding quickly, " To be a great warrior."

He flung his head back in a sudden, hasty assumption if arrogance, as if he and Jem might have imagined he meant that would like to belong to someone.

Except Jonathan was a child, still trying to make a distant father proud even when death had made the distance between them impossible. Jem should be kind.

He thought of the boy's speed, his fearless strike with an unfamiliar weapon on a strange bloody night.

I'm sure you will be a great warrior, Jem said.

Jonathan Wayland ducked his shaggy golden head to hide the faint color in his cheeks.

Jonathan scuffed his shoe against the deck and peered up at Jem, and Jem realized he was trying to see his face beneath the hood. Jem drew the hood, and the shadows, close. Even though he had been rebuffed, Jonathan Wayland offered him a small smile.

Jem had not looked for any kindness from this hurt child. It made Jem think that Jonathan Wayland might grow to be more than a great warrior. Maybe Jonathan would have a parabatai one day, to teach him the kind of man he wanted to be.

This is the link stronger than any magic, Jem had told himself that night, knife in hand, cutting deep. This is the bond I chose. He made his mark. He had taken the name Zachariah, which meant "remember" remember him, Jem had willed himself. Remember them. Remember why. Remember the only answer to the only question. Do not forget. When he looked again, Jonathan Wayland was gone. He wished he could thank the child, for helping him remember.

#jem carstairs #james carstairs #jace herondale #jace lightwood herondale #clary fray #clary fairchild #clace #tessa gray #jessa #brother zachariah #tsc #the shadowhuter chronicles #gotsm #ghosts of the shadow market #tmi #the mortal instruments

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leia-imogen · 3 years

Text

the james x matthew x cordelia (heronfairstairs?) au that literally no one asked for;

volume one

okay so this takes place in a modern-day boarding school because✨aesthetic✨ no idea what the name is but it goes from ages 12-18

aight brief intro of the characters!!

charlotte fairchild is the principal & her supportive af husband henry is the chemistry teacher

tessa and will are former students, high school sweethearts who get married. really involved in school events

jem is the music teacher & student counsellor, and he’s still besties with tessa and will & super close with his nieces and nephews & he adores his job so so much bcs he gets to help so many kids 🥺

then come the merry thieves & lucie!! ( they're the og students, before the carstairs siblings come )

james ( my son <3 ) is 17 when this starts. he is such a book nerd, and that's how he and matthew become friends. has a couple of ex's, parted on relatively good terms, except, of course, grace blackthorn. more on that later

matthew ( my son in law <3 ) is like pretty popular tbh. most kids in the school know who he is bcs he's the principal and fave teacher’s kid, and he's also really extroverted. and he constantly speaks in oscar wilde and shakespeare quotes. current co-captain of the poetry club. 100% the mom friend. loves his dog

james is a storybook nerd and matthew is a poetry nerd, basically. they knew each other previously from a couple of get-togethers with their parents, but they became best friends after matthew randomly muttered a shakespeare insult and jamie quoted one back

then they had a shakespeare insult competition, which is one hell of a way to begin a life-long relationship. fucking iconic omg ( jamie won, bcs he's had so many with his lil sis )

lucie my girl!! lucie here is just a year younger than james. she's the captain of the poetry club, super talented writer, margaret atwood and sylvia plath enthusiast. probably writes fanfic and runs a feminist tumblr blog ( god what an icon ). she’s friends with cordelia, mostly from texting, bcs jem thought that they would like each other and he was right!

ah christopher, my neurodivergent science-y boi. i hope you know that i would die for him without a second thought. he's a pretty peaceful presence, basically besties with henry. blows shit up, but in a fun way, ya know?

thomas! sweet lovely thomas!! he's a year older than them but jamie and christopher are his closest friends. when cordelia and alastair come to the school, he and alastair have an academic rivalry to lovers trope going on, but it’s nothing truly hostile. most stable relationship tbh. ( they need peace )

enter the carstairs siblings!! ( this is mostly the backstory, the personalities are more explored in volume two )

okay so there’s this huge thing with elias carstairs getting arrested for who-knows-what and his wife and kids are struggling in their hometown

so sona sends them to be watched over by their cousin jem in boarding school while she deals with this herself ( she deserves so much better I'm sorryy )

cordelia is abso-fucking-lutely ecstatic to be going to the same school as lucie, and vice versa, but she's really reluctant to be leaving her mother alone, and so is alastair

alastair is as dramatic and broody and iconic as ever, and he and cordelia have a pretty good relationship since they moved around a lot and they were always there for each growing up. he and thomas have that academic rivalry thing going and it’s really really cute actually

so they go to the boarding school and that's a wrap!! see y'all next volume. the other characters pop up there, don't worry :)

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shadowhuntertrash · 3 years

Text

Coming Out

Part 1 of 3

Kit Herondale, Jem Carstairs

Kit was very gay and very closeted. The only person who was aware of this was Ty who coincidently was his boyfriend.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jem and Tessa because he really did but his father had been terrible to Kit when he had found out. He loved Jem and Tessa more than anything other than Ty and he couldn’t deal with Jem and Tessa not supporting him.

He knew he needed to, he was terrible at keeping secrets anyway so when Ty had finally convinced him to tell them he was a mixture of terrified and relieved. He was terrified of how they were going to react but he was relieved to finally release the burden of having to keep it a secret.

When Jem sat down at dinner that night, Tessa having gone with Mina to visit the Lightwood-Bane’s Kit knew it was time. Jem was the first one he wanted to tell, they had gotten very close since he had first gotten there, Jem taught him a majority of the fighting skills he has, he had even talked Kit down from panic attacks. Kit knew in the back of his mind that Jem wouldn’t care, he was too calm and accepting to care.

Logically it made no sense to be terrified, they were best friends with the Lightwood-Bane’s anyhow, it didn’t make sense for his palms to sweat or his breathing to become uneven. He couldn’t help but think of the worse, it was different if the person that was gay was your son wasn’t it? Having a son who’s gay meant a lot more than having a friend who was.

Kit was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized it had been ten minutes since either of them had said anything. Kit snapped back to attention when he felt a warm hand on his forehead, he jumped and swung his head to see Jem standing over him, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Are you alright?” He asked retracting his hand.

Looking down and cursing himself for losing his cool, Kit gave Jem the most convincing smile he could muster. “I’m fine.” Kit said softer than he meant to. He looked back down at his plate and watched out of the corner of his eye as Jem repositioned himself in the chair next to Kit instead of across from him. Kit could tell Jem wanted to ask what was wrong.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Kit couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “Are you going to say something?” Kit asked nervously tapping his fingers on his legs, another thing he picked up from Ty. Jem looked at him with a calculation expression. “Do you want me to say something?” Jem asked calmly, watching Kit with contemplative eyes.

Kit nodded in response, not trusting his voice since his throat had gone dry. “Okay,” Jem said turning his eyes back to his plate. “Is there something you want to tell me?” Kit froze, there was no way he knew. He couldn’t.

Jem had the ability to know what people were thinking without them saying anything. Kit suspected it came from all the years being a Silent Brother. “I-I no.” Kit said quickly, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

He suddenly wished he took Ty up on his offer to be with him when Kit told Jem. Kit flicked his eyes over to Jem who was sitting silently watching Kit, he let out an involuntary breath and slumped in his seat, eyes pointedly looking at the ceiling.

“Yes.” He said quietly his hands wringing together nervously, Jem put a calming hand on his shoulder but that somehow just made it worse. “You’re okay take your time.” Jem said, his voice soothing in a way he knew calmed Kit.

Kit took a deep breath before turning to Jem. “D-don’t-” He said struggling to find the words. “Just p-please don’t be m-mad.” He said stumbling over the words, shaking to the point his teeth were chattering. Jem fixed him with a concerned look and moved his hand from Kit’s shoulder to Kit’s hair, something else Jem knew calmed Kit considerably. Kit cursed, he really couldn’t afford to lose this.

“P-please don’t hate me.” Kit said, he could tell he was starting to get hysterical but he couldn’t tell Jem without the reassurance. Oh god. “I could never Kit, you know that.” Jem said with an increasingly worried expression. Kit let out a hysterical laugh and flopped back in his chair, his back hitting the chair painfully.

“I’m dating someone.” He said blandly, not quite the full truth but he would get there. Jem flashed him a smile and continued to run his hand through Kit’s hair. “I suspected as much. Who is it?” Jem asked pleasantly, Kit’s heart skipped a beat, and cleared his throat. Now or never.

“Ty.”

Kit couldn’t bring himself to look at Jem but after a few seconds which truly felt like hours or silence he looked up quickly to see Jem’s face. He didn’t seem to have a specific expression and Kit’s heart skipped again. No no no no.

Kit stood up abruptly, scrambling backward. No no no. Kit was shaking uncontrollably now. Jem wouldn’t hit him, he wouldn’t. Jem wasn’t like Johnny, he wouldn’t hurt him. Kit struggled to get air into his lungs and wished desperately that Ty was here. He needed Ty.

A hand landed on a shoulder and Kit yelped backing up. “Don’t hit me I’m sorry!” He begged before his brain caught up. He was gasping for air at this point, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. Why had he told Jem? He was going to be kicked out now, how stupid was he?

“Kit I need you to look at me. Kit please look at me.” Kit reluctantly brought his eyes up, he was still shaking but Jem wasn’t making a move to touch him so he met Jem’s eyes. “I’m not going to hit you, you know I would never do that. You shocked me is all, I’m sorry. I love you, I’ll always love you nothing can change that.” Kit let out a ragged breath but couldn’t get the air in his lungs, they were starting to burn in protest.

Jem walked slowly to Kit, his hands raised. “Can I touch you? I’m not going to hurt you, just hug you.” Jem said quietly, his voice carefully caring. Kit just nodded, not having the oxygen for words. Jem wraps his arms around Kit securely and felt as Kit tensed before relaxing and sobbing into his chest.

Tightening his arms, Jem curses Johnny. He knew Kit had had a rough childhood but he hadn’t realized that Johnny hit him, he would have found him much quicker had he known.

Kit gripped Jem as if his life depended on it. He couldn’t believe his luck when it came to Jem and Tessa, how he had gone from Johnny to them he would never understand. Kit had managed to get air in his lungs before Jem started talking, softly and slowly.

“You remember Will? My parabatai?” Kit’s face scrunched up in confusion but he nodded as Jem pulled them into the living room to sit on the couch. Kit leaned gratefully into Jem’s side. “Well, he was Tessa’s first husband and as you know we were all incredibly close…” Jem went quiet for a moment, and Kit slowly pieced together what he was trying to say. “We were closer than many people thought. Tessa and Will were in love and everyone knew Tessa and I were but no one except our six closest friends knew Will and I were in love too.”

Jem turned his head to Kit, his eyes sad and nostalgic. “There is nothing wrong with loving boys Kit. You needn’t worry about that, there will always be people who don’t agree but the important people, the people you need and that love you, they will accept it.” Jem leaned down and rested his head on Kit’s. “The people who don’t accept it or try to tell you it’s wrong or hit you for it.” Jem added softly, not missing the way Kit tensed slightly. “They don’t matter. What matters is you and who you love.”

Kit felt warm tears trailing down his face, he wasn’t alone. He hadn’t thought he would truly lose Jem but he never suspected he would have Jem’s absolute understanding. It occurred to him that Jem had worked out what happened when he was younger with Johnny but he knew Jem well enough to know that Jem wouldn’t force the conversation on him yet.

Kit tightened his arms around his dad. “Thank you.” Kit said quietly, it didn’t seem like enough but if the soft smile and the kiss on his hair was anything to go by, Jem understood. “Anytime, I love you Kit, no matter what, I’ll always love you.” Kit smiled and let his eyes close as he leaned against Jem.

“Just-” Kit started, biting his lip anxiously. “Just, please don’t tell Tessa yet. I’ll tell her soon but I just need a minute.” Jem laughed softly. “Of course, but just remember she loves you just as much.” Jem laughed again as he ran his fingers through Kit’s hair. “And just remember, she put up with me and Will for about a hundred years so she’s had experience in this field.”

Kit laughed softly and they went back to the comfortable silence. Kit was more grateful to Jem than anyone would ever know, he was more of a father to Kit than Johnny had ever been.

“So, when are you introducing him as your boyfriend?”

#kit x ty #kit carstairs #kit rook #kit herondale #jem carstairs being a father figure #jem and tessa #jem and will #jem carstairs #will herondale #tessa gray #tsc fanfiction

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theheartsmistakes · 4 years

Text

The Last Night Part XVII

A/N at the end

Part XVII

“Into town,” said Lucie, her voice pitching on the last word, in answer to her mother’s question. “We thought it might refresh Cordelia’s memories if we went to the location of the attack.”

Cordelia balked at the idea of returning to the place where she and Alastair almost died. She must have been making some kind of expression because Lucie deemed it necessary to deliver a kick to her ankle. She hissed but forced a smile.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” asked Sona. “You’ve only just woken up. Perhaps you should rest a bit longer. Your injuries are not yet fully healed and you look in pain, darling.”

That’s because she was, but not for the reason her mother thought. Her ankle throbbed where Lucie had kicked it.

“I’ve rested for nearly a week,” said Cordelia. “I think some fresh air and a bit of walking will be beneficial. Besides, James and Matthew will be joining us.”

Both boys jolted at the mention of their names as if they hadn’t entirely been paying attention to the conversation unfolding in front of them.

“Of course,” said James with a nod. “The streets were calm during our patrol so there shouldn’t be much to worry about, Mrs. Carstairs.”

Sona’s eyes shifting between James and Cordelia and Cordelia could swear she saw a glimmer of hope in her mother’s eyes at the two of them standing together in the center of the room. “Well, that should be fine, but not for too long.”

“We’ll be home in time for supper,” said Lucie.

“I’ll alert Charles that we’ve permitted the four of you go out for a while,” said Tessa, turning back towards the dining room door. “If it’s in an attempt to retrieve Cordelia’s memories, he shouldn’t throw too much of a fit about it. But I feel inclined to say, please do not give him any reason to see through with his threats.”

“Don’t worry,” said Matthew who threw an arm around James’s shoulders. “We’ll make sure these girls stay on their best behavior.”

Tessa turned to as if she was going to say something sharp to the two boys, but Will gently urged her through the dining room door before she could.

Alastair escorted his mother to her room so that she could have a rest. He’d abandoned the pinstripe pajamas for a pair of dark tweed trousers and a simple white buttoned shirt that he left untucked. His feet were bare, with the one still wrapped in a thick cloth bandage, as he offered one arm to his mother and the other rested on his wooden crutch that lightly tapped the ground as he walked. Cordelia felt a sharp twinge of pain in her chest for leaving him alone to help look after their mother when he needed assistance himself, but she knew he wouldn’t accept such assistance. The broad slope of his shoulders caved slightly as if the weight of the world rested upon them. It occurred to her in that moment when he was walking their mother to her room that Alastair didn’t bear the weight of one single world upon his shoulders, but the weight of many. Her own included.

The thought made her ache.

“Cordelia?” A hand gripped her elbow, drawing her back to the sitting room, and she turned to find James looking down at her. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” she sniffed and blinked the tears away from her eyes. “Just a bit of pain in my ribs is all.”

“Do you need Jem?” he asked and his hand slid down her elbow to grip her hand. “Or an iratze?”

“No,” she squeezed his hand to stop him from pulling her along. “No, it’s alright. It’s nothing. We should prepare to leave since we’re going to the place of my attack apparently.”

Lucie grimaced. “I’m sorry. I panicked and it was the first thing that came to mind. We don’t have to go there, Cordelia. Perhaps you and I can go for a nice stroll through the park, maybe do a bit of window shopping.” Lucie glared down at James’s hand still holding Cordelia’s and then her gaze slithered up to her brother’s.

“I have an idea,” said Matthew. “Cordelia, have you ever driven in an automobile?”

“No!” Both James and Lucie shouted at Matthew who barely batted an eye at the other two while he waited for Cordelia’s response.

She grinned. “No, I can’t say that I have. They seem dreadful.”

“Quite the opposite,” said Matthew. “The epitome of absolute freedom and mobility. I think a spot of fresh air will do all of us some good. Come along, Luce, you can help me bring Algernon around.”

“Algernon?” Cordelia asked.

“Yes, he’s named his vehicle after an Oscar Wilde character,” said James.

“His vehicle?” Cordelia balked.

James nodded. “We’ve quite a bit to catch you up on, Daisy.”

“I’d say so,” she sighed and watched as Matthew dragged a disparaged Lucie along with him out the front door.

“I would like to give you something,” said James, his fingers flexed against hers. “If you’ll come with me for a moment.”

Cordelia turned so that they were facing one another. “What is it?”

“Come along, Daisy” said James nodding his head towards the hallway leading farther into the institute. “We won’t be long.”

She gathered what semblance of courage she had left in her and let him guide her down the hall. The crystal orbs that hovered above them in a line down the length of the hallway flickered and waned to life upon their approach. Witchlight, she noted, by the warm glow it emitted like magic in their presence, lighting the darkness and displaying the vibrant red wallpaper with gold hand painted brush strokes of two swords crossed over each other in a pattern. Each sword, Cordelia noticed, had a different hilt. No two were the same. Some of the weapons were French with the delicate, ostentatious metal hilt. Some were Scottish with the curved blade instead of straight. She expected nothing else of Will Herondale’s house but to have weapons painted on the walls.

“Just through here,” said James as they came to a stop in front of an old door that appeared to be made of oak or some other type of ancient wood. Three swords, two crossed like those painted on the walls and one down the center hung in the middle of the door. Upon closer inspection, Cordelia recognized them to be the same chosen weapons of Jonathon Shadowhunter and his parabatai David, the sword going down the center belonged to Jonathon’s sister Abigail.

“Exact replicas,” said James as he shouldered open the heavy door. “Useless in battle since they’ve been welded to this door since the birth of the Institute, much to my father’s great chagrin, but a great conversation starter.” He gave the center sword a tug for emphasis.

The temperature dropped significantly on the other side of the door. Gooseflesh prickled along Cordelia’s skin as she stepped into the dark stairway going down towards the basement of the Institute. She knew now where he was taking her. The weapons room. She’d been there before with Lucie, but she couldn’t imagine why he was taking her there now.

A witchlight burned in James’s hand, illuminating the curves and plains of his face, as they started their descent down the stone steps. There wasn’t far to go, the stairwell curved twice and then spit them out in the stone walled room. Covering the walls from floor to ceiling was every type of weapon made under heaven. Cordelia felt a familiar tingle run up her spine.

“Cortana,” she whispered as James crossed the room to a wooden chest and retrieved the blade from inside, still secure in Cordelia’s gilded scabbard.

“I found it where you fell,” said James, walking back over to where she stood in the center of the room. “I’ve been keeping it safe for you.”

Once in her hands, Cordelia grabbed the hilt and drew the blade out, relishing in the song it sang as it was freed like the first draw of a violin bow across the strings. She swung it once, the hilt rolled across her hand deftly and back into her palm. She drew her finger along the edge, thin as glass, but stronger than stone.

“Beautiful,” breathed James.

“I always thought so,” said Cordelia and sheathed her beloved weapon.

When she looked up, her breath hitched. James stood only a few inches away from her, his eyes were not on the blade, but on her. She knew the expression on his face, she’d seen it before, had dreams about him looking at her the way he was now. It was the same expression he wore after he kissed her in The Whispering Room. When she’d allowed herself—really allowed herself to be vulnerable enough to believe that his affections went farther than just friendship towards her.

And when she found his affections held firm for someone else, it nearly broke her.

It was time to set aside the fatuous ideations she’d held for James since childhood and start accepting that they would never be more than the dearest of friends.

She slid the strap of her scabbard over her neck so that it lay across her shoulder. “Lucie and Matthew are surely waiting for us by now. We should go.” She turned to leave, but James reached for her hand pulling her gently back towards him.

“Wait,” he said. “Cordelia there is something I must ask you while I still have the courage to do so.”

Cordelia felt a burning, sick feeling in her stomach, but she didn’t pull away.

“That night, when you left London, you told me that you loved me,” he said, his eyes wide searching hers. “I need to know—”

“There you are,” said Lucie from the entrance to the weapons room. “How dare you leave me alone with Matthew and his precious metal trap. Come along before someone sees the mobile sitting on our lawn and reports us to the Clave.”

Cordelia turned from Lucie back to James. She could feel the heat in the tips of her ears. She suspected that they would need to have this conversation, but she hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Her heart pounded in her chest as if screaming her answer.

“We’ll be right there, Lucie,” said James, his eyes still firmly held Cordelia. “A minute longer.”

Lucie, having realized she interrupted something rather personal, did not argue but rather turned on her heels and walked back up the stone steps. They listened to the echoes of her shoes against the stone until the noise disappeared, but Cordelia still suspected that Lucie was not far away and had an ear towards the conversation.

“You want to know if it’s still true?” asked Cordelia. “Of course it is, I’ll always care about you, but that does not negate everything that’s happened. It was selfish of me to agree to your proposal when you so clearly loved someone else. You only did it as a favor to my family and while I am extremely grateful for that, please don’t feel that because I am back for the foreseeable future that you are obligated to uphold that promise any longer.” She exhaled and dared to look at James again. His expression remained impassive giving her the courage to place a hand on his shoulder. “You should be allowed to pursue the one that you love; not feel indebted because I soiled my name. We both know it hasn’t been fully intact in some time. I would have done it for any of you.“

James reached up and covered the hand that was resting on his shoulder with his own and she saw that where the silver bracelet usually hung from his wrist was now gone. She looked to his other wrist, but found that it was bare too.

“Come along, Daisy,” said James. “There is still quite a bit we need to catch you up on.”

(Author’s Notes: This chapter gave me so much trouble, I’m not really sure why. Forgive me, I don’t feel like it’s one of my best, but I wanted to have something for you all to read tonight. With helping my sister, starting work again, I’m going to start posting bi-weekly, every other Sunday, so that I have a bit more time to work on each part. I hope you guys enjoy something in this messy, inconsistent chapter. I promise that the next one will be significantly better and with more Jordelia. Next post coming Sun, Oct 4)

#chain of gold #The Last Night #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #jordelia fanfiction #james herondale #james x cordelia #Cordelia Carstairs

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softest-cinnamon-roll · 4 years

Note

reddie 38?

38. “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” - feat. figure skater Eddie and ice hockey player Richie.

* * * * *

As the music poured through the speakers, Eddie focused on his movements as he skated across the ice, twirling and jumping when the routine called for it. Ever since he was little, being on the ice had been his dream. He had grown up watching the skaters on the TV, begging his mother and father to enrol him in classes, which they eventually did. Now, sixteen years later he was twenty one and heading straight for the Olympics.

That is, if he could master the damn double axel jump.

It wasn’t that he couldn;t do the jump, because he could just fine. It was the landing that he was having difficulty with, with every attempt it was a stumble or an ungraceful landing, which was beginning to annoy the hell out of his mother. She wasn’t even his coach, but because she was the one paying for his lessons and rink time, she believed her opinion overruled everyone else's, even his coach’s.

“Edward, for goodness sake, I’m not paying for you skate like a hippopotamus! I pay for you to skate like a swan, glide across the ice, land as though it's no effort at all! You’ll never qualify for the Olympics skating like that!” His mother screamed through the auditorium and Eddie came to a halt on the side of the rink, breathing heavily.

He looked up at his mother, who was red in the face next to his horrified coach. Normally, his mother kept her more...insulting comments to when it was just him and her in the rink, but sometimes she couldn’t help herself. His coach, Maggie Tozier, whipped her head around to face Sonia, a scowl on her face. “Mrs Kasprak, if you are going to treat my skater like that I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

The look on his mother’s face told Eddie that she was about to set off. She squared up Maggie and crossed her arms, “I’m the one paying for your time here, therefore I’m not leaving. If I want to give my son some tough love then I will, it’s a harsh world out there and sometimes he needs some harsh criticism so he can be better!”

“Or maybe your words will make him worse, because he won’t stop trying to please you,” Maggie snapped back, not backing down. Their arguing seemed to gain the attention of Mr Corcoran, the owner of the rink, who stuck his head out of his office and pointed to one of the private rooms away from the rink.

Eddie watched with a sigh as both his mother and his coach walked down towards the room, the door slamming behind them. Silence filled the rink and Eddie at least had peace for a few moments while they fought over the best way to teach him skating. He was just about to skate over to the music and attempt the jump again when someone from the other side of the rink called his name.

He turned around and when he saw the owner of the voice, Eddie’s cheeks turned a light pink. It was his coach’s son, Richie Tozier, who was also one of the stars of the Derry Ice Hockey Team. He wasn’t dressed in his gear yet, but his bag was slunk over his shoulder, which meant Eddie’s rink time was coming to an end. He smiled and skated over, placing his hands on the edge of the rink. “Hey, Richie.”

“Hey there, Spaghetti,” Richie grinned back, glancing around the bleachers of the rink. “Where is everyone? Not often I get the chance to speak to you alone with either your mom or my mom scolding me for distracting you.”

Eddie sighed once more, rolling his eyes, “They are arguing...again. This time it’s about the best way to tell me that I suck.” He shrugged and Richie’s eyes widened. “Not- not that your mom said that I suck or anything, but my mom? She thinks I’m a hippo because I can’t land the double axel smoothly.”

Richie blinked and tilted his head to the side, “You mean the most difficult jump in skating? You mean the one my mom only really introduced you to a few weeks ago? That jump?” He asked and Eddie nodded his head. “Damn, your mother is brutal Eds, no offence.” He smiled. “If it is any consolation to you, I think you are the best skater that my mom has ever taken on. None of the others ever made as much progress or are as half as motivated as you are.”

At that, Eddie lit up, trying to contain his smile as best as he could. He wasn’t going to deny it, Eddie had a huge ass crush on Richie, and he was pretty sure that Richie felt the same way about him. The only thing really keeping them apart was Sonia and her stink eye whenever Richie so much as breathed in Eddie’s direction. For some reason, since the moment they met, his mother had developed a hatred for Richie, even though his mother was Eddie’s coach. In Eddie’s opinion, it made no sense.

Richie was smiling at Eddie, a smile that was only really reserved for him, and he opened his mouth as though he was about to say something, but he never got the chance as his mother’s shrill voice screamed through the rink. “EDWARD!” Eddie whipped his head around to see Sonia barging towards them, Maggie close on her tail. She approached Richie and jabbed one of her chubby fingers into his chest. “What have I told you, keep away from my son. All you’ll do is distract him and my Eddie doesn’t need any distractions if he is going to be a champion.”

“Get your hands off of my son, Sonia. What have I told you before,” Maggie hissed as she appeared behind them. “Richie, please go to the locker room and get ready for practice. Zack will be here soon and he’ll want you all on the rink and ready to go.”

With a sigh, Richie nodded and turned to head to the locker room. He stopped a few steps away and turned back around. “I know you don’t like me very much, and that’s fine, but you really shouldn’t treat Eddie like crap. He is a fantastic skater, and by putting him down the way you do, you’re the one most likely to distract him.” He turned to Eddie, who was still on the ice, staring at him in shock and awe. “See you around, Eds.” He winked and turned away, heading to the locker room.

Once he was out of sight, both his mother and Maggie turned to face Eddie. Before his mother could speak up though, Maggie stepped forward, “Your mother has agreed to stop attending our lessons together. In order to give you more time to focus with me on the ice. She will still come with you to your private sessions when she can though.” She smiled. “Hit the locker room, practice is over for the day and the Ice Resurfacer needs to clean the ice for the Hockey Team. We’ll work on that jump tomorrow, okay?”

Eddie nodded his head and, ignoring his mother, he skated to the edge of the rink and towards the other locker room to change. On his way there, he passed by the Hockey Team’s private locker room and happened to overhear his name being mentioned. Unable to stop himself from listening in, Eddie moved a little closer.

“You still haven’t told him? Damn Rich, this is getting insane.” Bill Denbrough spoke and Eddie could just tell he was rolling his eyes. “You come to practice early every day just so you can get a chance to either watch him skate or flirt with him until your mom...or his mom, chases you away. Just tell him and put us out of our misery.”

What could they be talking about? What did Richie need to tell him? He didn’t get a chance to think too much over it, as Richie spoke up. “Oh really Bill, and what do you suggest I say? “Oh hey Eddie! Why haven’t you kissed me yet? I’m crazy ‘bout ya!” He heard Richie sigh heavily. “We’re friends and I don’t...I don’t want to distract him. He deserves to qualify for the Olympics in the trials next month.”

Eddie didn’t stay to hear any of the rest, as he could hear his mother's voice approaching. Quickly, he dodged into the locker room and changed out of his outfit and back into his normal clothes, running a hand through his hair as he looked in the mirror. His cheeks were flushed red and a smile was threatening to appear. Richie liked him back. Richie wanted to kiss him.

As he left the locker room, the Hockey Team were leaving theirs, heading to the rink to start their practice. His mother was by the door, waiting for him and he caught Richie’s eye as they walked past each other. Then, Eddie stopped and turned back around, “Richie! Wait!”

Richie stopped and turned around, his brows furrowed in confusion as Eddie approached him. He bit his lip and finally let himself smile as he pushed up on his toes, settling his hands on Richie’s shoulders and pressing their lips together in a soft, first kiss.

Immediately, all the boys started to holler and wolf whistle, causing Eddie to pull back with a flush on his cheeks, matching Richie’s own. “Eds?” He breathed, ignoring all his teammates. “You- what?”

“Dinner, you and me, tomorrow after practice?” Eddie asked and Richie nodded, almost dumbfounded, but he finally broke into a grin.

“Pick you up at seven Spaghetti,” he winked, just as Zack Denbrough whistled for them all to get on the ice or they would be facing some serious warm ups. He backed away, unable to take his eyes off of Eddie.

Eddie bit his lip and blew Richie a kiss, getting out a giggle as RIchie jumped into the air and caught it, pressing his fist to his lips and he waved softy. “I can’t wait.”

* * * * *

@3tothe1 @anellope @annxmatron @appojoos @are-you-reddie-for-it @beepbeeprichiellc @bi-bi-richie @billdenbrough @bitchbrak @callmechee @dadbodrichie @derrylosers @disneyfan567 @eddiekaspprak @eds-trashmouth @eduardoandale @girasol-eddie @gloire-celeste @halfway-happy353 @hawkinsbabe @inthebreadbinwrites @itfandomprompts @its-stranger-than-you-think @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @kat-ships-everything @lifesucksheres20bucks @loserslibrary @losers-gotta-stick-together @madi-artist @mars-14 @marsisaplanetyall @moonlightrichie @nancynwheeler @no-she-wasnt-reddie @oldguybones @photoboothreddie @pink-psychic @purplepoisonedgem @queen-sock @ransonelovebot @rebecca-the-queen @reddie-for-anything @reddie-to-cryy @reddieforlove @reddiesetandgo @richietoaster @richietoizer @roobarrtrashmouth @rreddies @s-onora @s-s-georgie @sashadrowned @sedanleystanley @sloppybitchreddie @sparklingrainbowdragon @spirited-marvel @stellarbisexual @studpuffin @takeourpure @that-weird-girls-blog @thegoshdiddlydangdoor @thejadeazalea @thorn-harvester-ven @tinyarmedtrex @tozier-boy @tozierking @toziesque @trashmouthtozierr @twoidiotsinl0ve @ultrapaninibred @vanity190 @violetreddie @virgo-luthie @wilding-throught-thehallways @xandertheundead

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #prompts #writing tag

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ohcoolnice · 3 years

Note

jem carstairs for that long list of things (?)

Thank you for the ask!

Do I like them: Yessss I love Jem very much. (Actaully I didn’t really feel like his character spoke to me the first time I read TID but literally all it took was one reread and I realised I was a dumbass)

5 good qualities:

1. He’s so kind: literally this boy could have had a really intense villian origin story, and have been super selfish, but he’s so precious???

2. He’s calm and in control of his emotions (very rare for shadowhunters, we stan)

3. Caring (sort of touched on this in point one but okay here we go): Jem has suffered SO MUCH and when he meets WIll he tries to help him. Of course, Jem also needed a friend, very much, but in a very big way, Jem saved Will from himself in that moment, and many times again and again.

4. Forgiving: Will did some stuff man i dunno what to tell you I would have slapped him daily. But Jem forgives. you could argue that it’s because he believed he only had so much time left to live, but that’s why it’s even more amazing. Jem could make others feel terrible for every little thing, because he’s sick and he could use that as some people use it to get others to do what they want, but he doesn’t.

5. Not exactly a quality, but he took Kit in and I love it. Also he’s a DADaksjdhasjfdasjf

3 bad qualities:

I’m struggling lmfao uhhhhhhhhhhhh okay:

1. He’s too popular, the other silent brothers are getting tired of WIll busting into the Silent City with broken limbs demanding to see him.

2. He’s so smart and aware of feelings but he didn’t see how Will felt for Tessa and it was SO obviousasklfksf but tbh it’s not that big of a deal for me I can’t think of any bad qualities okay Jem is baby.

3. I hated the hair on that Jem from the show. Gives me nightmares.

Favorite moment: Too many but here’s one:

“Say something in Mandarin,” said Tessa, with a smile. Jem said something that sounded like a lot of breathy vowels and consonants run together, his voice rising and falling melodically: “Ni hen piao liang.” “What did you say?” Tessa was curious. “I said your hair is coming undone — here,” he said, and reached out and tucked an escaping curl back behind her ear. Tessa felt the blood spill hot up into her face, and was glad for the dimness of the carriage. “You have to be careful with it,” he said, taking his hand back, slowly, his fingers lingering against her cheek.”

YOU SMOOTH SON OF A

OTP: Jessa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (except I’m also a very big Wessa shipper. I’m flexible like that *flips hair*)

BROTP: Will and Jem (except....*squints* “Jem is my greatest sin” mmkay will)

OT3: I- do i even have to answer??????

NOTP: Anything but the above but i haven’t seen anyone make that mistake yet so we good.

Best Quote: “Heroes endure because we need them. Not for their own sakes.”

Headcanon: That the other Silent Brothers, after welcoming him in and seeing (ha) his relationship with the shadowhunters, remembered that they were more than just Silent Brothers - they had once been men. (I thought about this after the way some of the Silent Brothers have interacted with shadowhunters in TLH especially, with emotion and empathy. makes me soft)

Thank you for the ask!

#asked #jem carstairs #runeless-parabatai #i switched into joke mode halfway through cause i don't know what seriousness is

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

OH MY GOD! ITS HAPPENING! Its only the summary and I’m emo 😂 I should be studying for my exams, but I have tomorrow for that ;)

Ok, lets do this:

UDHWIJSHW THEY ARE SO CUTE FOR EACH OTHER I CANT-

"He preferred to hide his heart away. But he couldn’t hide David. He didn’t want to. David deserved to be seen." Like father like son. Both speeking poetry about their love ones. (and no, Idk which father I'm talking about 😂)

“I don’t think they are fake dating,” David hummed from the other end. “You don’t talk for hours every night if you are just fake dating.” (THANK YOU DAVID! SOMEONE THAT ITS NOT BLIND)

"They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”“So, by not helping them, we are technically helping them?” Bapa had asked and Max had nodded with a grin. “Shadowhunters are weird.” “True dat,” Max had laughed. They were all weirdos. But Max loved them anyway. He loved his weird shadowhunters. (The domesticity lf this is killing me in a good way🥺)

“Will you on a date with me? Tomorrow?” Max asked then – because why the hell not. (Hell yeah Max. Go big or go home babe😎)

“This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.” In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that. (I'm already feeling his chaotic ass will do something like Magnus did, but lets keep hope)

"Maybe Lexi and Liv would probably enjoy a date – a fake date - in the arcade." Could I be more in love with both of them?? Is that physically possible?? 💙

Elyaas giving Max dating advice!! Lmaooo 😂😂

"His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice. But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages." YOU LIL SHIT. YOU ARE NOT WRONG THO...

FUCK. An attack??

You lil shit Max.

Yep, Rafael has to deal with it everyday 😂

OOMG YESS. THE ALIANCE RUNE!!

"So, when he got tired, he would simply fix the problem by eating. It was a win-win to be honest." I feel like I should say something, but tbh it makes sense

Ok, this fight is intense

Wait. Anjali is there??? What?

Oh ok, it wasn’t

“Say the thing!”Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.” I'm dead 😂

THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING. LOVE THOSE TWO

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out. “Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.” “Asshole,” Max laughed and punched his brother.

“Text dad we are okay,” Rafael said, slowly recovering. “They will worry.”Max nodded and did that. (This just summ up sibling relationships so well *chef kiss*)

“It can be hard, Max. Bapak and dad…Sometimes I look at them and feel like I will never have what they have.” YUP. THEY HAVE SIBLINGS DYNAMIC. ALSO RAFAEL IS JUST 🥺🥺🥺

David got wounded???

Oh ok. False alarm.

Rafael sat down next to him and put Bapak’s head on his lap, gently massaging it.

“Are you okay?” dad knelt down next to his husband. “Just a little tired,” Bapak replied.A little tired. Max knew Bapak was fucking exhausted." "Bapak never showed it. He never complained. Max wondered what else he hid away from everyone else." “Okay,” dad whispered and kissed his husband on the head. “Get some rest, my love.” Bapak nodded and closed his eyes as Rafael hummed something softly. (Well, now I'm crying 😭😭)

" His niece found an herbal medication that helps with the pain.” ANJALI!! I LOVE HER💙💙

"Dad finally smiled and went out to the balcony, phone in hand. He seemed to hang out in the balcony a lot lately" No no no. I dont like this. Babe find a better copying mechanism!!

"Bapak smiled then. A brilliant grin. The one dad probably fell in love with." jsyeihdiej I cant🥺💙

"Bapak sniffed when dad sat down next to him and gave him an odd look. But he didn’t say anything." Magnus tell him something. I dont like where this is going😭

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked. “Do not drag me into this!” Bapak protested and dad laughed at that" Ahh yess. Typical family discussions 😂

"David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!” (😂😂 I HONESTLY LAUGHED WAY TO HARD!!)

“Well, no! I don’t want drama. But I want you to be dramatic so I can tell you not to be dramatic!” I would like to say WHAT? but I honestly get it 😂

“Also, we all know you had an embarrassing crush on Uncle Jace growing up,” Rafael snickered. “And you definitely still have a crush on Uncle Jem.” Oh god 😂😂 but I mean... Who doesn't have a crush on Jem?

“Oh yeah?” Max demanded. “Well then let me explain your type. You are probably going to fall for someone who is like a combination of Aunt Izzy and Aunt Lily! Some femme fatale type who is a heartbreaker and looks like a supermodel and-” Boy got it right huh? 😂

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?” “There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!” lmaooo 😂😂

"And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life." I. I have no words

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.” “Not happening,” dad said into his coffee, and Max groaned before walking back into his room. (THAT FAMILY 😂😂)

" I tried to hurt your father once.” OH no, the angst is coming

" He didn’t know about this. He knew about their story. Everyone did. The accords hall kiss. The fight in Edom. The changing of the law. Their love was legendary. Not this!" THIS IS BRINGING BACK SO MANY FLASHBACKS

“All I know is that I was terrified. I love your father. I love Magnus more than anything in the world. And I didn’t want to lose him. And I didn’t know what to do.” 😭😭 NOT AGAIN!!

"When you love someone so much, sometimes you do crazy things.” THIS

" Love had made a fool out of them. Love had made them blind." Yup. tsc: a summary

"When you love someone, you have to be honest with them" And THAT is character development!!

"They called it The Jem effect." I'm using this from now on 😂💙💙

"Uncle Jem was wearing a tank top and and ripped jeans." So its time for SIMP over Jem Carstairs? Okey then.

"In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual." Same here 😂

“MINA! I SWEAR TO LILITH I AM GOING TO GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!” OH MY GOD I LOVE MINA!!

“In my defense, I was busy!!” “Oooo, someone has been getting busy!” Mina WINKED. (You lil shit! I love her 💙)

He didn’t know he could blush!!!

" They had gone to hell and back for Roman. It wouldn’t have been possible if not for Catarina. She was, and always has been, a miracle worker." Again, I love my queen💙💙

“I believe in Mavid supremacy.” ME TOO

"There is something so queer about Ferris wheels!" Someone needed to say this

"They had their own space in the spiral fucking labyrinth. These fucking legends." I BELIEVE IN WARLOCK TEAM SUPREMACY

"But Ragnor had always had a soft spot for Rafael." 🥺🥺

I love my warlock squad so much I cant-

Ragnor is so done😂

“I don’t want to lose him,” Max said it out loud for the first time. “But you will, Max,” Catarina said gently. “Everyone loses people they love. Every day. It’s how life works.” (its to early to be crying)

“Yes, we do,” Ragnor replied. “But it also means we fall in love over and over. Century after century. It’s our blessing.” (these warlocks are just to perfect)

“And that love is going to last for a lifetime,” Tessa said softly. “Can you imagine that? Someone loving you for centuries. Someone remembering you for eternity. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?” 🥺🥺

David deserved to be loved like that – endlessly and impossibly. (OK BUT THE PARALLEL)

Tessa should definetly write a guidebook

“Je t’aime à la folie,” Max said.David’s eyes widened. “Vraiment?“ "Je t’aime. Je t’aime de toute mon âme. Je t’aime pour toujours.” ( I literally screamed and woke up my sister, I just love them so much!!!)

"David smiled. The smile Max fell in love with" 🥺🥺

“I know I am not your forever and I am okay with that.” Max bit his lip. “Okay.” “But you are mine,” David said. “You know that, right?” (ksidjdldk its just all this was beautiful!)

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do." (Me as I should be studying 😂)

" And you were just scared. You were just a kid." “I just…I just realized you might not have had that when you were growing up – that there might not have been people you could talk to about these things.” THAT!! LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

"Max pulled him closer and kissed him again. Every kiss a promise. A promise to love. A promise to fight. A promise to survive" I would die for this two

OMG he took him to the Celestial Palace!! Thats so perfect and 🥺🥺

“Oh mon dieu! Ceci est incroyable! Il y a tellement de livres! Oh mon dieu! Je l'aime tellement!”💙💙 Idk how you manage to make me love David even more

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.” David blinked. “You’re joking, right?” “Of course,” Max grinned. His father had actually said that but there was no need to scary poor David any further. (😂😂 Imagine having the Consul as father-in-law, poor David)

“Yeah, not good with words my ass,” Exactly!! They say they are not good with words and procede to recite poetry of their love one??!!

Ughh I love this chapter so much and I loved how they deal with the inmortality thing! I just love when people comunicate and talk to each other! THATS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP! And how they didn't repeat Alec and Magnus mistake. I just love it! *chef kiss*

Anyway, this was really long and it took to open notes to fullfill, so i'll just leave💙💙

Bro I just felt like I read the whole chapter again and I am feels. I AM FEELS SEND HELP. Not me catching feels over my own shit lmaooooo.

Thank you so much. I have some work to do and I was like meh and now I have some energy to do it lol. I hope you spend tomorrow studying! You better!! Good luck!

ps - I love you notice the parallels and references. It makes me lil heart go boop!

also why do I feel like y'all are eternally doing exams????

#ily thank youuuu #lbaf

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older-brother-kit · 4 years

Text

Parental Differences

Hi everyone, I wrote a fic about Kit and his relationship with Jem that’s set during Forever Fallen. It’s about the different ways that Johnny Rook and Jem Carstairs care about Kit and handle the topic of his mother Rosemary. Jem is a loving dad, and he wants to make sure to remind Kit he cares about him whenever he can. You can find it here on AO3! I haven’t posted my writing in a long time, so please make sure to tell me what you think :)

Johnny Rook knew that his son was a curious boy. Kit was always eager to learn something new, and he paid attention to every little fact that Johnny told him about the shadow world. Kit was curious, but he also knew that his father was a criminal and there were some questions you just didn’t ask.

Well, Kit didn’t ask most of them. Sometimes, he couldn’t contain himself.

Johnny had been counting money he’d received from his most recent deal when he first heard Kit’s voice. “Dad?” Kit started, and Johnny looked towards his son. They were both sitting at the table Johnny sometimes used for business, and Kit had been practicing shuffling cards. The deck laid on the table, all gathered together in a neat little stack. “I was thinking about it, but don’t you think I’m old enough to know who my mom is now?”

The question shot a sharp pang down Johnny’s chest. It had been several years since he’d last seen Rosemary, several years since she had left him to try and keep Kit’s true identity a secret. It was a long time, but Johnny had never forgotten -could not forget- the love of his life. He could still remember the floral perfume she used to wear, the pitter-patter of her feet when they walked down the boardwalk in sandals, the way she’d smile every time he told her that he was sure it was going to rain. Johnny still loved her, but he knew that she would never come back to him. Rosemary didn’t want her son in danger.

“It doesn’t matter,” Johnny said, turning back to look at the money in his hand. “She was no one important.”

Kit sounded annoyed. “You say that every time, and I stop asking about her, but don’t you think I should know? There are so many questions I’ve always wanted to know the answers to but never asked. How did you meet her? Does she look like me? What was she like? Is she dead? What happened to her?”

Johnny couldn’t help the bitterness that arose. He grit his teeth as he watched Kit stand up and cross his arms, leaving his deck of cards on the table. “I told you it’s not important. It’s none of your business.”

“What do you mean it’s not my business?! She was my mom!”

“Oh, she was your mom?!” Johnny shot up from his chair, locking eyes with Kit. The money fell to the floor and lay there forgotten. “Well she was also-”

Despite his anger, he knew that telling Kit anything even resembling the truth would only endanger him --endanger the boy that Rosemary left to protect. He knew Kit wasn’t at fault for wanting to know about his mom, but there was a pesky little voice inside Johnny’s head that liked to remind him Kit was the reason Rosemary had left in the first place.

Johnny thought he heard the door open in the background, but he ignored it. “I don’t remember.” he said, trying to calm down so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret.

“Bullshit,” Kit said, and Johnny didn’t even bother to reprimand him for cursing. “You’re lying. You always lie. You’ve lied a thousand times, to both your “customers” and to me, and you’ll lie a thousand more. Can’t you just tell the truth this one time?” Kit’s voice cracked, and Johnny ignored the desperation. Kit’s eyes seemed to be screaming. Please, they said. Please.

Kit looked too much like Rosemary.

“Fine,” he spat out. If Kit wanted a story, he’d get a story. “You want to know the truth? I’ll tell you the truth. I met her when I was gambling in Vegas, where we slept together once and she became pregnant with you. She stuck around until the birth, left you with me, and I never saw her again.” Johnny could feel the anger and frustration he’d built up over the years coming out in the bitterness of his words, the sharpness of his lies, but he couldn’t stop. A voice called out his name, seeming to come from far away. “The truth is that the woman who gave birth to you was a Vegas showgirl who left the second she could because she couldn’t stand the sight of you!”

The world slowly came back into focus, and all Johnny saw was Kit. Kit, whose hands were in fists, shaking. His face was scrunched up in anger, but his eyes were suspiciously bright and Johnny could tell that he was trying not to cry. Johnny let out a long breath, and unclenched his hands while trying to release the tension in his shoulders. “Kit,” he tried, but Kit just turned on his heels and stormed out of the room.

“Johnny Rook,” the voice from earlier called, and Johnny turned around to see Hypatia Vex. The warlock crossed her arms, and the hardness in her eyes was unmistakable. “I came here to ask about an object you’d had out front yesterday. I heard voices shouting, and the door was unlocked.”

Johnny tried not to feel embarrassed at what she’d seen, and ignored the sudden dryness of his mouth. “What are you willing to pay for it?”

Hypatia laughed a short, humorless laugh. “Of course you’d try to make a business deal after all that. You disgust me.”

He gave her a look. “Listen lady, you either want something or you don’t. My boy is none of your business.”

Hypatia raised an eyebrow, giving him a look back, and he had the feeling that she was inwardly cursing at him. “When you started yelling loud enough to be heard outside you made it my business. Now I want you to listen, and to listen good. I see a lot around here, and there isn’t much I don’t know. You might be one of the sleaziest mundanes I’ve ever met -if you even are a mundane- but that kid of yours is alright. More importantly, he’s ten years old.”

“I’m protecting him,” Johnny hissed, irritated at this warlock woman who acted as if she had any right to judge him and how he talked to his son. She knew nothing about the situation they were in. “He’ll get it when he’s older.”

“Telling your son that his mother was a showgirl who didn’t love him is not protecting him.” Hypatia shot back.

Johnny glared at her. “Do you want your object or not?”

Hypatia pursed her lips, and looked at him for what felt like a long time. “If you go apologize to your son, and tell him you love him, we’ll do a deal.”

“Fine,” Johnny said, and resisted the urge to roll his eyes and knock something over as he turned and went into the next room. He admitted he might have been too harsh, and said a little too much, but Kit was a tough kid. He would forget about it anyway, but it was probably for the best to check up on him.

Johnny closed the door behind him, and saw Kit curled up in a chair by the one window. “Kit,” Johnny said, but Kit’s gaze stayed on the world outside. “Kit, you know I didn’t mean it.” He reached over to ruffle Kit’s hair in a rare act of affection, but Kit tilted his head away.

“Why did you say that then?” Kit asked, his voice steady but lacking emotion.

Johnny wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “I… I shouldn’t have said it, Kit. I was just frustrated, since I didn’t want to talk about it.” He sighed. “Things like this are complicated.”

Kit shifted, and glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes. “Is it true?” Kit asked, then cringed as if he’d regretted asking at all.

If Johnny were a more affectionate person, he would’ve hugged Kit, but he wasn’t so he didn’t. That side of him was reserved for Rosemary. He has her eyes, he thought, but it caused him to step back rather than get closer. “It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, Kit. Just don’t ask again.”

Kit made an expression Johnny couldn’t recognize, and the boy quickly went back to looking out the window. “Ok,” he said.

Johnny brushed non-existent dust off his pants before turning around and walking to the door. He remembered the money that he had left on the floor, and hoped that the warlock hadn’t tried to steal from him before he could pick it all up. “I have to go do a deal with Hypatia Vex, so stay here.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Kit asked, and Johnny blinked before giving his son a quick glance.

“And what is that?”

Kit sighed, and moved his head back towards the window. “Nothing,” he mumbled. “Never mind.”

“I’ll tell you when you can come back out.” Johnny told him before opening the door to leave. He thought about the money he’d left on the ground, and hoped the warlock woman hadn’t messed with it in any way.

“Fine.”

Johnny walked through the door and didn’t look back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t something that Jem was concerned about at first.

Kit was a smart kid, and he was good at playing off his thoughts and feelings. Jem and Tessa had gotten him to open up more in the past year since he’d joined their family, and Jem was extremely grateful. He never asked what went down with the Blackthorns, and Kit never brought it up. Jem and Tessa had mentioned Ty Blackthorn briefly, once. Kit had flinched, and looked so unbearably sad that Jem didn’t have the heart to ever do it again.

In addition to the Blackthorns, there was one thing Kit never seemed to talk about: Rosemary Herondale.

Not that Jem hadn’t tried. In the beginning, Jem thought that Kit must be curious and just not had any opportunities to talk about her yet. Jem had brought her up at breakfast one morning, and for a while it had gone well. Kit talked about a lullaby he vaguely remembered, and hummed a bit while pretending not to be embarrassed. Jem had then asked what Johnny Rook had told Kit about Rosemary, and Kit had shut down. The smile on his face disappeared as quickly as it came. Jem had been trying to figure out the best way of asking what he said wrong when Tessa had come back from the market, and the conversation topic was quickly changed.

Since then, both Jem and Tessa had tried to bring Rosemary up, only to have Kit look pained or like he wanted to leave. He and Tessa had discussed it, and they decided that if Kit didn’t want to talk about his mom then they wouldn’t push. Instead, they’d let Kit come to them once he felt comfortable enough.

It was a typical afternoon at Cirenworth when something finally changed. Jem just came back from getting groceries, and they were having a simple lunch as a family. Mina sat with Tessa, who had finished her own lunch and was enjoying watching everyone else eat. Family, Jem thought, and couldn’t help but smile. My family. It wasn’t too long ago when Jem thought that he’d never get to have a life like this.

Kit laughed at something Tessa said, then nearly choked on the bagel he’d been eating. Tessa patted his back with one hand while holding her sandwich with the other, and Kit took a sip of his soda before holding his bagel out in front of him. “This bagel tried to kill me,” Kit announced, making a show of glancing suspiciously at it.

Tessa gave him a fond look. “Maybe it was trying to warn you about talking and eating at the same time.”

“Maybe,” Kit said, shaking the bagel then squinting at it, as if it were under interrogation. “We’ll see.”

Mina smiled widely at this, and Jem felt like the luckiest man in the world. His beautiful daughter was having fun, and the love of his life was smiling and joking around with their precious s --with Kit. Kit, who came into their lives like a blessing, and who Jem loved more with every passing day. Jem caught Tessa’s eye from across the table, and her eyes softened as she reached down to hold Mina’s hand. Jem couldn’t resist the urge to lean over the table to kiss Mina on the cheek. She was so beautiful, their daughter.

Kit made another joke about his bagel before finishing it. Jem started a sandwich of his own, but couldn’t help staring at his family. He was feeling particularly sentimental today.

He and Kit made eye contact, and Jem smiled at him. It seemed he couldn’t stop smiling today. Kit raised an eyebrow. “What?”

After over a century of having his emotions and feelings dulled, Jem wasn’t in the habit of hiding his affection. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just so incredibly happy to know and love both of you.”

Mina giggled as if on cue. Jem turned away to look at her, nearly missing Kit’s shocked expression. Jem lightly tapped Mina on the nose before sinking back into his chair. “Including you of course, Mina mine.”

Jem glanced at Tessa, who was smiling so sweetly at him that he fell in love all over again. Her eyes flickered to Kit, and Jem looked over as well. Kit’s face had some fading redness, but it was his eyes that held Jem’s attention. Kit looked unsure, like he was trying to make sense of something confusing. He glanced at Jem for a minute, mouth closed tightly shut, before he hesitantly opened it and took a breath.

“I don’t get how you can say things like that,” Kit finally said, and he sounded so relieved once he said it that Jem wondered how long Kit had wanted to ask him that.

Kit’s fingers lightly tapped against the table, and he shifted in his seat. Despite his nerves, Kit refused to break eye contact. Jem admired him for it.

“It’s the truth,” Jem told him gently. “And there’s nothing wrong showing affection to those you care about.”

Kit frowned and moved his gaze to the table. “My dad wasn’t like that.”

Jem knew that it was rare for Kit to bring up Johnny Rook, aside from the occasional comment about something he’d taught him, and he and Tessa shared a look. They were both happy about Kit opening up more, as he’d been doing since Jem had agreed to train him. Whenever Kit brought up something from the past, they both knew to give him time to get his thoughts together.

“I’m sure he loved you,” Jem couldn’t help but say, remembering what Kit had said the last time he talked about how he felt about his father.

Kit scoffed at that. “Yeah, right. Once, when I was ten…” Kit trailed off, and clenched a napkin that was on the table. Jem waited patiently. “We got into an argument once, about my mom.”

Jem tried not to let his surprise show, lest Kit change his mind about talking to them. He and Tessa had gradually noticed that Kit didn’t like to talk about Rosemary, but they didn’t know why. Jem hadn’t expected Kit to be the one to bring her up.

Mina chose that moment to start crying. Before Kit or Jem could say anything, Tessa swept Mina up in her arms and got up to leave the room. “Mina-” Jem started, but Tessa shook her head.

“She just needs her nap,” she said, then paused by Kit on her way out. “I’ll make sure to listen to your story when I get back.” Tessa ruffled his hair, and then both she and Mina were gone.

“I’d like to hear your story,” Jem said, hopefully before Kit regretted speaking up in the first place.

“Of course you do,” Kit replied, smiling although his heart wasn’t in it. “My stories are always fantastic! I’m a great storyteller.”

“You are,” Jem agreed good-naturedly, and tried not to laugh at the look Kit gave him.

“Anyway,” Kit started, clearing his throat. “When I was ten, my dad and I got into an argument about who my mom was. I wanted to know her name, how they met, what happened to her..” Kit trailed off again, staring at the wall with a faraway look in his eyes.

Jem wondered what had happened, that Kit had been so curious but now always tried to avoid the topic.

“I wanted to know everything,” Kit whispered. “Her favorite color, her relationship with her parents, whether she liked the movies as much as I did or not. When I was little I used to daydream about her coming to get me, and the three of us would live in a cozy house with a garden big enough for the family dog. I would go to school and make lots of friends, and she and my dad would have actual jobs that weren’t illegal. She would cook, and we’d talk while eating dinner together every night.” Kit swallowed, and Jem didn’t comment on the way his voice cracked. “I imagined that we would be together, and happy. I think that was the most unrealistic part.”

Kit took a minute to collect himself, and Jem’s mind went back to when his parabatai was still alive and believed he was cursed. Jem had never known the reason until afterwards, but he’d seen Will purposely push away everyone that got close. Jem had watched as the other half of his soul had suffered, unable to help but wishing with all his might that whatever was hurting him would cease. Jem had felt powerless, then. This time, Jem would do all that he could for Kit. As Kit opened his mouth once more, Jem thought about Herondales and their tendency to suffer in silence.

“So when I was ten I asked my dad about my mom one too many times I guess, and we got into a fight. I was so mad that he refused to talk about her and finally demanded answers, but he became annoyed that I wouldn’t let it go. He told me -ha. He told me that she was a Vegas showgirl, some woman from a one-night stand that dropped me off the second I was born because she didn’t want…” Kit laughed bitterly, and his gaze stayed focused on the wall ahead of him. “Well, you get the picture.”

There was another pause and Jem opened his mouth to speak, but Kit beat him to it.

“And you know what? Sure, it sucked to hear that, but I’m not even upset over it anymore. Who knows, maybe he thought it was the best way to get me to stop looking into her, in case I found out the truth and put myself in danger.” Kit seemed fired up now, and took a breath before continuing. “A warlock came in and I stormed out, but I heard them talking about me and decided to eavesdrop.

“She scolded him --she actually scolded him, and told him that he should apologize and make sure to tell me that he loved me. That she wouldn’t do a deal unless he’d do it. And you-” Kit’s head swerved towards Jem, and Jem could see the angry tears forming on Kit’s face. Jem felt like tearing up, himself. “You remember what I said, about how maybe he didn’t love me at all?”

Jem could only nod.

Kit was seething now, and his eyes hardened while the tears fell. “Well he went into that room and he did neither. He didn’t apologize, he didn’t say I love you, he just --he just said that he didn’t mean it and that it was complicated. Then he walked out. My own father couldn’t even bring himself to tell me he loved me, but I’m supposed to believe some woman who barely knew me cared about me enough to die trying to protect me?! That’s crazy. That’s crazy!”

“Kit.” Jem called out, reaching for the boy who looked to be on the edge of hysteria. Kit was trembling, and Jem put a hand over Kit’s shaking ones. Kit reached up to try to wipe the tears off his face, but Jem stopped him.

“It’s okay,” he said gently, his grip firm but careful. “It’s okay to cry, to show emotion. I love you, Kit. I’m here, and I’m listening to what you have to say. Tessa and I, we both care about you so very much.”

Kit held onto Jem’s hand like a lifeline, and Jem took the time to sort out his emotions. He loved Kit, that was an indisputable fact. Tessa also loved Kit, and they both knew that Rosemary had loved her son more than anything. However, Jem never knew how to feel about Johnny Rook. Johnny had raised Kit for 15 years and that had to count for something, but Jem got the impression he wasn’t the most loving person.

Jem couldn’t understand how anybody wouldn’t love Kit. If Johnny Rook didn’t love his son, then there must have been something wrong with the man. Johnny must have loved Kit in his own way, this Jem knew. The only other option was impossible.

His thoughts were interrupted by Kit hugging him, which was a pleasant and welcome surprise. Jem hugged back immediately, holding him tightly. Jem tried to tell Kit he cared about him as much as possible, to make up for the lack of it growing up. He hoped one day Kit would truly believe it.

Kit pulled back, and scrunched up his face before wiping at it. He then hesitantly looked at Jem. “Did he really love me? Like, you and Tessa aren’t just making it up to make me feel better? Because that would be kind of a jerk move.”

“She did,” a voice promised, and both Kit and Jem turned to see Tessa standing by the doorway. She was smiling, despite her watery eyes. Jem could tell by the look on Kit’s face that he was trying to figure out how long Tessa had been standing there. Tessa’s eyes didn’t waver from Kit’s, and Jem knew she must have been there for a while.

“You barely knew her,” Kit pointed out, his voice hoarse.

Tessa quietly walked over to Kit and put a hand on his shoulder. “I did,” she said, her face earnest. “When I change into someone, a part of themselves is shared with me. Some of their memories, and some of their thoughts and feelings. The day you were born was the happiest day of her life. When “mama” was your first word, she nearly cried out of joy. Leaving to ensure your safety broke her heart, and she thought about you all the time while she was away. She’d often hum a lullaby that she used to sing to you, because it made her feel closer to you every time she did it.”

Kit’s eyes were tearing up again, and Jem tightened his grip on the boy’s hand.

“When she died,” Tessa started carefully, only continuing when Kit showed no negative reaction. “All she could think about was you. She wanted to make sure you were safe. She loved you more than anything, Kit.”

With that, Tessa leaned down and wrapped her arms around Kit. Jem joined in soon after, Kit holding onto them both. Jem felt a rush of affection for his family, and thought about how lucky he was to have them here with him.

“You guys sure are huggers,” Kit mumbled into the hug, and Jem laughed.

He wouldn’t want Kit any other way.

---

Thank you for reading, please tell me what you thought!

Tag list: @girlwhohatesstuff @zafirafox4636 @ghostjessesgirl @tessagraycarstairs @katie33333 @ineedadrinkorsleep @daisyherxndale @lily-chen-deserves-better @sarcasticmalecfan @idontgetit-whydoihavetosaymyname @anxiousbookenthusiast

#kit herondale #jem carstairs #tessa gray #johnny rook #mina carstairs #rosemary herondale #gotsm #tda #the dark artifices #ghosts of the shadow market #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #forever fallen #my post #my writing #my fanfic #parental differences #tuser-ellie

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cristinablackthornkingson · 4 years

Text

Shadowhunters Short Story #69 Brothers are what best friends can never be.

Crossposted to my AO3, link in my bio.

It is a stormy March evening in Devon, 2013, when 15 year old Kit Herondale is pulled from his thoughts by the sound of footsteps entering the kitchen.

Kit lifts his head from where he was resting it against the wall his chair is against, and opens his eyes to see a tired but joyous looking Jem standing a few feet away from him, smiling ear to ear.

“Jem.” Kit scrambles to sit up, setting his mug down on the table beside him. “I-Is everything okay? Are Tessa and the baby okay?” He anxiously asks. Tessa went into labor about 6 hours ago, and Kit hasn’t heard much from she or Jem since. They came into the kitchen a couple of hours ago, with Magnus, so Tessa could get some herbal tea that she said is meant to help labor move faster and be less painful, but since then he hasn’t heard anything.

“Yes everything is absolutely fine, would you like to come meet your sister?” Jem asks in a tone of joy, still beaming with delight. He is so utterly in love with his baby girl, it almost hurts.

Kit nods eagerly, having been looking forward to this moment for almost nine months.

Jem gestures for Kit to follow him. As they walk, Jem turns to Kit with a look of confusion on his face.

“Oh yes I meant to ask you, who were you talking to earlier? Just after Tess, Magnus and I left the kitchen to go upstairs so Tessa could rest.” He asks, remembering hearing Kit’s voice, low and quiet in the kitchen, while Jem helped Tessa up the stairs.

Kit blanches, remembering the conversation he had with Livvy’s ghost, just hours ago. He could tell Jem the truth, but then he’d probably worry and feel like he has to contact Emma to check that everything is okay, and that would distract him from Tessa and the baby.

“Oh um, no one important, I was on the phone with someone I went to school with, we’re not close or anything, just... called them because I was bored.” Kit shrugs, easily coming up with a lie, that seems to satisfy Jem.

“Oh, well I’m glad to hear you have friends and are talking to them!”

A few seconds later Jem leads him into the main bedroom, Jem and Tessa’s room. Jem lets Kit step ahead of him, while he closes the door.

The first thing Kit notices is how nice and warm and cozy the room is, thanks to the fireplace against the wall across from the bed, that’s been lit. The second thing he notices, is Tessa sitting propped up in bed with a mountain of pillows behind her, her hair is disheveled and thrown into a messy bun at the back of her head. She’s wearing a dusty pink hospital gown, that is open at the top, showing a tiny little body curled up against Tessa’s chest, wearing only a diaper and a hat, with a blanket covering her back. Peeking out from the little hat are wisps of curling dark hair.

When she hears the door close, Tessa looks up and her face lights up when she sees Kit and Jem, a warm smile coming across her face.

“Hi sweetheart.” Tessa quietly says in a hoarse voice. “I missed you, come meet your baby sister.”

Carefully, Kit walks the few feet to the bed and lowers himself into a chair by Tessa’s side.

“Hold your arms out, one under the other like you’re making a cradle with your arms.” Tessa calmly says. It takes a few minutes of fumbling and help from Tessa, but soon Kit gets his arms in the right position. Tessa carefully lifts the baby out from inside her gown, wrapping the blanket around her expertly, before carefully laying her in Kit’s arms.

The minute the baby is in his arms, Kit feels an unexplainable overwhelming rush of love, he already loved her before she was born, but looking at her now it’s like falling in love with her all over again. He chokes back tears as his eyes well up and his throat tightens.

“Hi.” He quietly says in a tight voice. “Hi baby sister, I love you.” He briefly looks up from the baby’s face and asks “What’s her name?”

Jem and Tessa share a smile, and Jem slips his hand into hers.

“Wilhelmina Yiqiang Ke Carstairs, Mina for short.” Tessa softly says.

“What does Yiqaing mean?” Kit curiously asks, unfamiliar with Mandarin.

“It means ‘Remembrance’ we chose it for those we’ve lost but will always remember, Will, Lucie, Jamie, Rosemary.” Jem gently says, hoping that this won’t upset Kit in anyway.

“I....” Kit trails off, unsure of how to feel about his baby sister in part being named for his mother, who he has absolutely no memories of. When he thinks about it though, he realizes it’s a beautiful gesture and a perfect way to make sure his mom is never forgotten. “I think she would have liked that.” He finishes, earning warm smiles from Jem and Tessa.

“We think so too, love, we think so too.”

Kit looks back down at his baby sister, Mina, who has now blinked her eyes open to reveal big dark brown eyes just like Jem. She and Kit stare at eachother in fascination for a few seconds, before Mina wriggles her little arm free from her blankets and reaches up to grab onto Kit’s thumb, making him laugh and have to wipe at tears of joy.

“It’s like she’s holding my hand.” He laughs, liking the idea of Mina feeling safe with him and wanting to hold his hand. He’ll be a great big brother to her, and always protect her and keep her safe.

“Of course she is, she’s a very clever young lady and knows already just what a fantastic big brother she has.” Tessa says in a warm tone, making Kit’s heart flutter with delight.

Kit holds Mina for a few more minutes, just looking at her in awe, taking in everything about her. Everything is totally calm and peaceful in the room, until Mina starts to fuss which in seconds turns into full on wails, breaking Kit’s heart right in two and making him panic.

“Oh no! Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to make her cry, I’m sorry!” Kit says in an alarmed and panicked tone, desperately trying to sush Mina and calm her with light bouncing.

“It's alright love.” Tessa calmly says, placing a calming hand on Kit’s arm. “You didn’t do anything wrong she’s just hungry, here let me take her.” Tessa reaches over and carefully lifts Mina into her own arms. She single handedly and quickly adjusts her gown before guiding Mina to her chest, helping her to latch on.

As Tessa nurses Mina, Kit flushes and awkwardly tries to find somewhere to look. He has nothing against breastfeeding of course, he doesn’t care if someone does it in front of him, but it’s a bit different when it’s Tessa, the woman who took him in and promised to love and raise him for the rest of his life, the only mother he has.

Jem immediately notices how embarrassed and awkward Kit feels and decides to intervene.

“Kit.” He says. “Do you want to join me downstairs for dinner? Magnus left enough food for us for the next week or so.” Kit immediately nods.

“Yes please!”

“Alright let's go, see you later my loves.” Jem softly says, stroking Mina’s hair and giving Tessa a quick peck on the lips.

“See you later.” Tessa replies, watching fondly as Jem and Kit leave the room, Jem telling Kit awful dad jokes and making him laugh, which makes Tessa’s heart lift. Once the boys are gone, she looks back down at Mina and smiles softly “We’re very lucky to have them Mina, aren’t we?”

The next day, at around 10:00 A.M. there is a light knock at Tessa and Jem’s bedroom door.

“Come in!” Jem calls, keeping a careful eye on Church, who has cautiously approached Mina, lying in Tessa’s arms, and is clearly trying to decide what he thinks of the new baby.

The door opens and Kit steps in, looking sheepish.

“Hello love.” Tessa beams, delighted to see Kit.

“Everything okay son?” Jem asks in a worried tone, afraid that maybe something is wrong with Kit.

“Oh yeah everything’s fine I just....” Kit clears his throat. “I um... I was just wondering if you need any help with Mina or anything, I’m not doing anything so... I thought I’d come see if you need some help.” He nervously tells them, afraid that they’ll say no and send him off to be on his own all day while they bond with Mina. He really wants to spend some time with Jem, Tessa and Mina but will they want to spend time with him?

“That would be lovely Kit, thank you.” Jem warmly says. Kit’s shoulders sag in relief and he starts to relax again.

“You can come over here and hold Mina for a while if you like, I’m going to have my first postpartum shower which can take anywhere from 10 minutes to about an hour.” Tessa lightly says, remembering her first postpartum baths after James and Lucie were born. She had been terrified of getting out of bed at all after James was born, nevermind bathing, but Jem was waiting right outside if she needed any medical assistance and Will was with her, while Charlotte and Henry watched Jamie.

Kit laughs as he takes a seat on the bed next to Tessa, and she lowers Mina into his arms when he is settled back against the pillows.

“Did it hurt?” Kit curiously asks, looking up at Tessa.

“Giving birth?” She asks. Kit nods. “It did, like hell, all 3 times, but it’s more than worth it, just like what we went through to find you and going through the adoption process is worth it, to have my babies.” Tessa fondly says, brushing Kit’s hair out of his eyes.

Shortly after he moved to Devon with Tessa and Jem, they approached him about legally adopting him, assuring him he can keep his surname and doesn’t have to take the name Carstairs if he doesn’t want to, but they would very much like to legally and officially adopt him. Kit thought about it for a while before agreeing, the process is long and stressful and still not fully complete, but it’s more than worth it to Tessa and Jem, to have their Kit.

Kit smiles and blushes and Tessa kisses his cheek before ducking to kiss Mina on the cheek too. “I love you.”

Tessa then stands up, grabs her towel, bathrobe and toiletries bag and heads into the ensuite bathroom for her shower.

“I was looking through social media yesterday, after you set me up on Facebook so I can stay in touch with Emma easier. I saw this group on there for new fathers, and decided to join, thinking it would be full of advice and tips on how to care for baby and handle your anxieties and take care of your partner if you have one, stuff like that. Instead I found the most awful people complaining about their wives and babies, mostly talking about how seeing their wife give birth and seeing her postpartum has totally turned them off and they feel cheated, one phrase I saw over and over again was ‘It’s like watching your favorite pub burn down’.

I just cannot believe how disrespectful and horrendous these men are, their wives have just gone through 9 months of pregnancy followed by labroing and giving birth, and all they can do is whine and complain that 2 weeks postpartum she hasn’t lost the weight she gained and is still wearing pajamas or comfy clothes most days.

I don’t understand it, I delivered James, I delivered Lucie and I delivered Mina, I was Tessa’s primary caregiver when she was pregnant with James and when she was pregnant with Lucie, I’ve been by her side every second of this pregnancy and I’ve seen her postpartum 3 times now, and to me she always seems even more glorious and beautiful after having a baby, because she’s just gone through so, so much to bring a whole new life into this world, she’s just grown an entire other person, she’s like a goddess.

I don’t understand it, how can anyone say those things about their wives? I couldn’t love Tessa more, whether she’s pregnant or not, whether she’s just had a baby or not. I just... I don’t understand it.”

Kit is totally unsure of what to say after Jem finishes talking. He totally agrees with him, that the way some men talk about their wives after she’s given birth is absolutely disgusting, but he doesn’t know what to say to Jem.

“I... uh... I agree?” He tries, not wanting to just ignore Jem. Jem turns to him and smiles softly, before reaching over and ruffling his hair affectionately.

“Sorry Kit, I didn’t mean to rant to you, it’s just when I was young, when someone had just given birth, they took weeks, even months, to bond with the baby and heal from the birth, there were no expectations to ‘bounce back’ or anything, I’m just still trying to adjust to modern life and modern people. But at least I have you eh? You keep me up to date.”

“I try, it’s my life mission to get you to stop saying ‘Order it offline’.” Kit grins. Jem chuckles.

“You’re a good boy my Kit, I’m so glad you’re here with us.”

About 20 minutes later Tessa comes out of the bathroom in a clean pair of pyjamas, her yellow bathrobe thrown on over her pink pajamas, and her wait hair tied into a bun at the back of her head.

“You made it!” Kit cheers, grinning at Tessa as she sits next to him on the bed. She grins and kisses his cheek.

“That I did, and now it’s miss Mina’s turn to get changed, your Uncle Magnus gave us the most adorable clothes for you Mina, and I can’t wait to see you in them.” Tessa coos, taking Mina as Kit carefully passes her to her, before laying her down on the bed, just in front of her.

From the basket on the floor beside her, Tessa takes out a plain pink baby-gro/onsie, that has a hood, and pockets at the front.

“That’s pretty tame for Magnus’ standards.” Kit notes.

“I know, I think Alec picked this one out and it’s just so adorable!” Tesa exclaims, beginning to unbutton the yellow onsie with pink flowers that Mina is currently wearing.

Kit watches in fascination as Tessa carefully and expertly slips Mina’s tiny arms out of her onsie and does the same with her legs. He can’t help but be fascinated by how small and tiny and delicate Mina is. She’s the smallest person he’s ever met, and so fragile too, he would be terrified if he were in Tessa’s position.

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll accidentally hurt her or break her, because she’s so small and delicate?” Kit asks Tessa, who laughs lightly as she starts to put the new onsie on Mina.

“I was when I had Jamie, Will and I both, but after having James and then Lucie and then helping out with my grandchildren and many, many other little ones, I’ve become an expert in handling delicate little babies.” Tessa explains. She then lifts a freshly dressed Mina up (once again shocking Kit with her confidence) and holds her so they’re face to face. Tessa’s smile grows and she leans in to kiss Mina’s cheek. “There we go, pretty baby! The sweetest, cutest baby in the world, huh?”

“You should take a family photo with the kids Tess, the same way you took a photo of you and Jamie after he was born, and then you Jamie and Lucie after Lucie was born.” Jem suggests, knowing how much having pictures to remember these moments by, means a lot to Tessa.

“Oh yes that sounds like a lovely idea! Is it okay with you, Kit?” Tessa asks, laying a hand on his arm. Kit finds it kind of hard to believe that Tessa wants to take a picture with him, he still finds it hard to believe that she loves him as if he’s her own, and Jem does too, but he’s not about to say no.

“Sure, sounds like a good idea.” Kit agrees.

A few minutes later, after a bit of fussing from Mina, Jem snaps a series of pictures of Tessa, Kit and Mina. In the picture Tessa is sitting up in bed with Mina cradled in one arm, and the other around Kit, who is leaning into her and smiling shyly. It’s definitely one of Jem’s favorite pictures.

“It’s perfect.” Tessa says when Jem shows her the photo. “We’ll get it framed and hung up beside the pictures of me and Lucie and Jamie, as soon as we can.”

“Sounds perfect.” Jem agrees. “I better go make a start on breakfast, I’ll bring you up a tray of course, love. Kit would you like to stay in here and have breakfast with us?” Jem asks. Kit nods, there’s nothing he’d love more, actually.

“Yes please.” He says, settling back against the pillows, beside Tessa and Mina, feeling truly safe, and loved and happy for one of the first times in his life.

*1 YEAR LATER*

It is a hot and humid day in March of 2014, when Jem, Tessa, Kit and Mina step out of the portal and onto the streets of Shanghai, just outside the Ke House, where they will be staying for the duration of their first family vacation.

They’ve been planning this trip since Mina was 6 months old, and agreed that the best time to come would be just after Mina’s first birthday, she would be able to handle the heat and humidity better now as a one year old, than she would have done as a much smaller baby, and Kit is truly settled and content with them now and feels comfortable enough to go on vacation.

“Is this where you lived before you moved to London, dad?” Kit curiously asks, having taken to calling Jem and Tessa mom and dad over the last few months, which they both love.

“For a year or so, I was born here, lived here till I was about 1 and then my parents were put in charge of running the Institute which is where I lived until I went to London.” Jem informs him.

“Cool.” Kit says, looking up at the building in front of him, in awe.

“Come on, let's go find our rooms and get settled in, then I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Jem says, as Tessa sets a wriggling Mina down.

“Mina.” Kit says with a sly grin. “Wanna race?” Mina has been walking since she was 9 months old, and now loves to run everywhere, especially when she gets to race Kit who of course always lets her win.

“Uh-hu!” Mina nods enthusiastically.

“Okay come on let's go, or I’m gonna get the biggest room!” Kit declares, taking off at a slow pace so that Mina can easily pass him by.

Jem chuckles and kisses Tessa’s cheek before going ahead of Kit to lead the way.

As Jem shows Kit and Mina where they’ll be staying, Tessa goes ahead to her and Jem’s room, the same room they always stay in when they visit here.

One of the first things she does is take one of her bags into the bathroom to unpack her toiletries. When she opens the bag, the first thing she sees is the pink box containing the pregnancy test she packed.

For the last few weeks she’s been feeling sick and tired all the time, and has been having some issues with her powers, all the symptoms she had when pregnant with Mina. She had meant to take a test before they came to Shanghai, but she was so busy with Mina’s first birthday she totally forgot, until this morning when she was packing the last bits and pieces and found the pregnancy test she had bought a few weeks ago but never taken, so she decided to throw into the bag and take it here in Shanghai.

Tessa nervously bites her lip and looks over her shoulder to make sure Jem or anyone isn’t nearby. When she’s satisfied she’s alone, she closes the door, opens the pregnancy test and takes the few minutes required, to take the pregnancy test.

Three minutes later her phone beeps to let her know it’s time to look at the test, and so on shaky legs she pushes herself up from her seat on the edge of the bathtub, and walks over to the sink. She takes a deep breath before picking the test up and looking it.

‘YES+’

Tessa can’t help but let out a stifled sob of delight, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. She and Jem weren’t trying, but they weren’t trying to prevent a pregnancy either, they decided to leave it up to nature, they agreed they would be thrilled if they had another baby now, but would also be okay with not having another one just yet.

Tessa quickly finds Jem standing outside the room that’s going to be Kit’s, supervising he and Mina as they unpack (well more like Kit occasionally takes something out of his suitcase, then gets distracted by Mina and doesn’t unpack anything else for 20 minutes.)

“How are you 3 getting on?” Tessa asks Jem, coming up to stand at his side.

“Not too bad, though I think I might have to seperate the kids in order to get anything done, they distract eachother.” Jem laughs, his heart swelling with love as he watches Kit laughing while carrying Mina around on his back. He then turns to smile at Tessa and softly says “I can’t believe how amazing the last year has been, I couldn’t have asked for a better first year of fatherhood, I’ve loved every second.”

Tessa grins knowingly.

“Well that’s good.” She says, holding up the positive pregnancy test for Jem to see. “Because in about 8 months, we get to do it all again.”

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