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princessofprocrastination · 3 years

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Not Suitable (Quackity)

MASTERLIST

pairing : quackity x female reader

summary : quackity has always had a specific vision of what he wants his partner to look like and certain qualities he wants in them. unfortunately for you, you are the opposite of what he wants. (ANGST)

as a kid, you loved the whole girly look. you wore dresses, short heels that came in a princess toy set, and wore pink lipstick all the time.

but as time passed, as you grew older, your look changed completely. you like to say that you simply matured, that it wasn’t at all serious. slowly but surely as you were in your teenage years, your favourite colour became black.

that didn’t mean you didn’t like pink or these other “girly” colours. sometimes, you’d even incorporate some of those bright colours in your outfits to make a statement. you just seemed to like black, it matches with everything.

although you kept wearing black outfits or have black or dark nail polish on, your hair never stayed black or a dark colour. you just hated the look of the natural colour on yourself. it sure did fit other people, though.

you liked to describe your style as trendy. you always follow the trends of recent times and wore what you thought looked good on you.

you sat down next to sapnap, dream in the next room. you and sapnap had been friends since highschool. you skipped a grade, making yourself one of the youngest in that class which meant that you were lonely and no one really wanted to make friends with you.

but that quickly changed when nick came up to you and offered to eat lunch with you. since then, he had been your soulmate. platonic soulmate.

of course, being friends with nick meant that you were bound to meet the other two boys that he considered his best friends, too. it just so happens that you, george and clay ended up building an amazing friendship really quickly.

three guy bestfriends. that technically equals to having three big, protective big brothers. they really cared about you and you can see that, even if they often make fun of you.

nick started his stream, facecam on as you sat on an extra gaming chair that clay had next to nick. you typed away on your phone as he started rambling about random things while waiting for more people to come on.

apparently today you and nick were meant to play some scary game, you controlling the keyboard, him on the mouse. nick often forgot that it takes you a lot to get scared.

“we’re making this video inspired by quackity and karl’s stream from a while ago.” nick told his stream, you nodding your head to agree.

you smiled softly at the name he mentioned. quackity. it was apparent to everyone that you had some sort of crush on him. the small smiles, the little blush that rose to your cheeks if someone were to mention your ship name or tease you about it.

it was all too obvious. of course the three boys you call your best friends knew, you’d never keep such a secret from them. but no matter how annoying the boys can be, they never once told anyone else about your not-so-little crush.

but that didn’t mean they didn’t tease you. they enjoyed it whenever your face would turn red, whether it being you’re embarrassed or you’re mad.

the only weird part is that nowadays, they don’t even bother to tease you anymore, not like they used to. you knew they were hiding something from you, you just didn’t know what they were hiding.

for example, you seated next to sapnap, grinning as he mentions quackity’s name. he would never let you live down that moment. he’d tease you senseless. but this time, he only glanced at you and looked back to the stream.

and what was that? seemed like a pity glance. almost looked like he felt bad.

you two continued the stream as the ‘scared counter’ keeps going up as sapnap keeps getting scared, you constantly laughing at him.

“HOW ARE YOU NOT EVEN FLINCHING?” nick screams in your ear.

“cause i’m not a pussy.” you answered him simply.

“oh shut up, will you.” he rolled his eyes, you laughed at him being a scaredy-cat.

you two played for a while more as the counter on the bottom left of the stream screen gets higher and higher. soon enough it reached it’s limit which meant that sapnap needed to end his stream.

it was weird how time works. one second, things were mellow and slow, just like how your everyday is, and the next second, your name was trending everywhere.

you didn’t even want to check why at first, since you knew how weird and surprising your followers are.

“dude, you need to check twitter.” nick told you in a hurry while he runs from the second floor, to the kitchen in the first floor where you were sitting, editing a video for your channel.

so you did exactly that. you scrolled through the trending page and clicked on your name. then, you saw hundreds, if not thousands edits and videos of quackity and your video.

the video of yours that was posted was the part when you smiled at the mention on quackity’s name but as you scrolled more, it seemed that everyone had dug through and collected snippets of you blushing or smiling when quackity was mentioned or when you were on call with him.

you and quackity were no stranger to each other. the two of you knew each other, sapnap and him being friends and all. you just couldn’t help but fall for him. he’s just extremely charming.

although your exterior showed otherwise, you really swooned just by looking at his pictures.

and that’s why all the stans are going crazy. they didn’t think you’d fall for someone, especially not a man who act like a child on the internet. but you can’t predict people, especially not who they like, or more, love.

you slowly panicked. this was embarrassing to you. more so that it’s all over the internet. there was no way you could erase all of the posts.

on the outside, you looked composed, like it didn’t effect you at all. but nick knew you well, he knew you had a million thoughts in your head at that point.

you were just a second close to getting into a panic attack. “hey, hey. calm down, everything’s good.” nick coos in your ear as he pulls you close to him. he knew that you hated to be left alone when you panic.

you hated this feeling. it felt so unnecessary and it felt like you were making matters bigger than it actually is.

but the boys would tell you otherwise, they’d make sure that thought leaves your head as soon as it reached.

your body being rocked back and forth helped you calm down as you slowly start to forget the reason of your panic in the first place.

when you do come back to stream regularly, you tried to play off like nothing had happened, like it was all a dream.

that is one bad habit you couldn’t get rid of for some reason. you liked to just run away from your problems, big or small. you would often play it off like it didn’t matter to you, eventhough it is very much the opposite.

you’re just scared of getting hurt. you didn’t want to hear the rejection, you could never brace yourself for that kind of pain.

but somehow this was different. you braced yourself. you didn’t know what drove you to it, but you did. maybe it was the small signs your friends showed you that you never noticed. it was like you knew that rejection was bound to happen, and that this one would hurt the most.

you told yourself that you would never let yourself get hurt over someone, especially males. it just never made sense. they were never really worth your time, anyways.

although personally you’ve never ended a relationship of yours badly, just maturely, you’ve read and heard how painful relationships can be. and you never understood why people kept going back into relationships when they hurt so much.

but you get it. he’s simply addicting. you felt like you couldn’t distance yourself from him. but you needed to. and you knew that. all your friends told you that.

you weren’t going to let some man put you down because of what you look like.

granted, it hurt at first, but you learnt to heal, you learnt that although he probably isn’t going to be the only man who hurts you, you needed to suck it up and not show him the pain you felt. you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

to summarise it all. quackity finally beat around the bush and came out with a statement on his own on his stream.

content creators or public figures often learn that they need to leave things for private, that they can’t spill everything out for people to hear. that causes drama.

but he didn’t stand back at all. everything he thought about you was shared on stream for all his viewers to know. maybe you liked him for his persona after all, not the real him.

“talk about it?” quackity read his donation.

“sure, i will.” he started. here it comes.

nick told you that in order to heal and move past the pain quickly, you can’t run away from your problems, to face the current issue. so he made you watch quackity’s stream.

you didn’t feel like shedding a single tear today because of how exhausted you are from crying for hours on end, but still agreed to your bestfriend’s wishes to sit through a long stream.

to be honest, you weren’t expecting him to speak on it, given the amount of time he’s waited. it’s been a couple months since it happened so you could only imagine the shock of his viewers when he finally did say something.

maybe the constant spam finally got to him.

“she’s not my type, chat.” he said. oh, that wasn’t so bad. no pain just yet.

“she’s far from it.” okay that pinched you a little. were you really that bad. you waited for his explanation.

“she looks so emo all the time, it’s scares me. does she ever not wear black?” ouch. and yes, yes you do.

“she’s just not what i like in women. i like soft girls who are respectful and know when to keep their mouth shut and definitely a little more conservative.” whoa. okay, maybe that hurt extra than the rest.

you turned to nick, he had the same shocked look on his face, clearly not expecting to hear that come out of his good friend’s mouth, especially on stream.

quackity doesn’t end there. he pulls out his phone, typing away. soon he pulled up a picture of you from your instagram account, showing his stream.

“she looks like she barely graduated highschool. she’s not one with a future, chat. just stop shipping us. i don’t like that.” he finally finishes, locking his phone and putting it down, continuing playing his game from earlier.

you closed your eyes for a while, trying to process it all.

“are you going to cry?” your bestfriend says from next to you. you shook your head.

“i’m furious.” you told him, voice soft but slightly menacing.

“holy shit. i’ve been waiting for this.” nick says, jumping in his seat. you knew exactly what he meant.

you aren’t the type to get mad. you only got mad jokingly. and as much as you look emo and depressed all the time, you’re practically a walking sunshine, you just don’t show it due to your resting bitch face.

and although nick and you have been friends for god knows how long, it wasn’t often he saw you mad. and it excites him to see you enraged, to say the least. to him, you always ‘pop off’ when you’re mad.

you made sure you cooled off slightly before you go off on the man. you didn’t want to do things you would regret, after all. but to you, you didn’t think you’d regret anything at this point.

you waited a couple days before you tweeted something.

it was simple, your tweet. just two photos. first, it was a photo of your acceptance letter to harvard law school from a year ago, followed by a photo of you carrying thick and heavy textbooks for school that was taken by nick when he visited you in campus.

it was captioned, “not one with a future.” simple, but it was obvious that this was going to blow up. you looked up from your phone to nick before you tweeted it.

you two shared a smile. a grin, if you will. it was like the two of you knew what that tweet would do.

you knew this was going to be surprising to your followers, too. you’ve never spoken about going to school after highschool. sure, if they scrolled far enough on your channel and listened through everything, they might know you skipped grades, which was the reason you met nick but most of them didn’t know. and you didn’t blame them.

what you would blame them for is that they sat and listened to everything quackity said in that stream. they all thought you were just one dumb, depressed girl who had no future. one that relied on a social media career.

only if they knew how wrong they are. well, that didn’t matter now. they all knew.

that was the only tweet you sent out regarding the matter. you didn’t want to prolong it, it isn’t worth your time.

when you did stream a couple days after you sent out that tweet, your twitch viewers sky-rocketed. it was weird, almost. but they weren’t there to patronise you. the opposite, really. they said sweet words, donated generous amounts and gifted plenty of subs.

you would answer questions as donations slowly came in. and one in particular caught you eye.

“why aren’t you in school.” the monotoned woman asked.

“i’m not currently in school because it is closed due to the pandemic. but i’m currently attending it online.” you answered swiftly, not really focused on the question but more to the parkour you were doing.

from time to time, your eyes glanced at your chat to see if they said anything that caught your eye, apart from the ones that bashed you for liking their favourite content creator.

it cracked you up to see how far stans would go to protect their favourite creators. granted, it made you feel a little envious seeing how many people unfollowed you when the drama happened. you wanted to know just who would stand with you, besides your actual friends.

“what would you describe your style?” the monotonous woman spoke once again as a donation came in.

“thank you for the 10.” you started, and then pausing to actually think about it before you answered.

“i think my style is a little more dark but not emo, as most people call it. i also don’t dress conservative.” you finished, feeling good about your answer.

you were not brought up in a conservative family, so that was shown in the way you dressed. no, you never really left the house in your bra and jeans, not saying that style isn’t cute, but you never stopped yourself from showing a little bit of skin.

you also were not the type to get insecure, so reading through comments on your posts have never really affected you. but there was something about the comment quackity said that made you rethink about a lot of things.

you hated that feeling, though. you hated that you let a man say things about you and made you feel apologetic about it. you knew it should never be like that. why did you let a man step all over you? it irked you that you stooped so low.

things also never got easy after the little drama. sure, you gained a little more publicity, but you felt nauseous knowing what attracted them. you’re just now constantly reminded how you got a higher number of following.

nonetheless, you’re grateful for the platform given to you, although this wasn’t the path you chose to take.

it didn’t take you long to recover from the tiny insecurity you found yourself having. you started not caring even more, posting even more photos of you. some might say you grew to be a narcissist.

but you enjoyed it. it showed people just how much you grew and learnt from what happened.

you’re glad you moved forward from it and never dwelled on the things he said about you.

also, did you mention that quackity apologised?

guess not.

Part 2

#quackity #quackity x reader #quackity imagines #quackity imagine #quackity fanfic #quackity fanfiction #quackityhq

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mxbitters · 4 years

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i’ve been doodling in a random notebook and like yell singing to every song on bullets, then out of curiosity i looked through that notebook and LMAO it was from around the end of my freshman year of high school when i was just coming out as trans,, ok more like that summer,, BRO first of all the difference in my idealized self portraits from back then vs my idealized self portraits now are HILARIOUS (i’ll post later, lmao i can draw so much better than i could back then-) at some point i was having some sort of breakdown and literally HAND WROTE “qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm” (i mean everybody has their methods but what the fuck was happening w me..) and also i’m reading some.. poem? i don’t know. about wanting to be a punk and honestly i used the word “purchase” too much for my own good i mean mind you i was talking about hair dye and a leather jacket (lmaooooooooooooooooooooo @ just coming out me,, i have 3,,,, loser <3 ) but like at the same time like damn i gotta say i’ve come pretty far since then wait i’ll type word for word like this is wild. and mind you i was still hella like stereotypical emo i don’t think i even listened to against me! or anything at that point hell this was before i even saw green day anyway i’m gonna make commentary and bully this kid i unfortunately was in parenthesis

“i want to go to target (LMAOOO) & purchase (1) black hairdye & spiking hair gel (sweetie.. no not yet), familiarize myself with the sensation of clippers against my head (ok i vibe w that). i want to fill the bathroom with the perfume of the dye & black nail polish. i want to scare them off with a single glance as if i’m a skeleton, the grim reaper, and am coming for them (i am sO glad i write better than this now). i want to go to a thrift store & purchase (2) a leather jacket (sweetie i have 3 now), second hand like my heart and soul (did you have to add “soul?”), & get patches of all sorts (... i didn’t understand “punk,” now did i) to iron on & (stop dOING THAT) paint logos and lyrics on the back. i want to make spikes, boots, and belts my armor. i want to stretch my ears (UMM NO I DO NOT!!!) to the extent that i’m considered a threat (can you tell that i was really into pop punk at the time) i want to be a punk. (there’s a song for that!) i want to spend $35 on a binder (welp there it is) so i can flatten my chest and relax for once (RELAX???? damn i wish). i want to take a weekly syringe(is that what they even call it) full of hormones (just call it testosterone.. this is what taking back sunday meant by “worse than teenage poetry”), deepening my voice, eliminating my discomfort. i want to love myself & hate the government & know what living fast & dying young (NO....) feels like. i want to be a punk. (hon..) i want to make out with someone (nOW WE’RE TALKING!!), boy, girl, nonbinary, i don’t give a shit (i mean i woulda worded it some other way but ok kiddo) i just want to feel wildly in love blind to the rest of the world with passion (yeah ok here’s the thing i was going through a really fuckin’ rough breakup period..) i want to be the skinny shirtless boy jumping into the lake(.....?), pulling my best friends in by the leg laughing like an absolute idiot. i want to be a punk.”

anyway that was embarassing it appears actually i had just gotten into against me! at the time, the four fucking bands i listened to that sorta fit into that genre were am!, pansy division (not too much though i was an innocent littol boy), green day and the menzingers, also i had a serious “&” problem it appears. anyway glad to go on this adventure with you also i couldn’t draw for shit i think i’d also just gone to warped tour bc i had seen hawthorne heights and i came home and started writing niki fm lyrics everywhere fdsdkjsakjlf

this was also apparently my embarassing phase where i listened to every cliche emo band BUT mcr because fourteen year old me apparently thought he was too cool for that lmao

#but then again. there's a fucking. there's that one fucking attila logo doodled in the margins.. yiiiiikes #just-coming-out me wanted to seem tough as a defense mechanism after being through a really shitty relationship #i think #also had been getting over kinda liking a really shitty person who was really into that music #listened to a lot of bands with screaming at the time bc i wanted to impress him but he was a horrible fucking person!!!!!!!!

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surveysonfleek · 4 years

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1565.

Do you do careless things like spill nail polish on your nightstand? haha yes. i’ve spilt nail polish everywhere imaginable. How are you today? i’m fine. had a bit of a scare today but everything’s been settled. When someone messages you and you know it’s going to be rude, do you ignore it and not read it, or do you read it and reply? it depends who it is and what the topic is. i’m usually a good texter but if it’s something stupid and toxic by someone who i don’t really consider a friend, i won’t reply. Do you find online drama stressful? yes, it’s crazy. How stressful is your life? i think i’m just in my own head so make things feel more stressful than they really are.

Do you like your hair better curly or straight? straight. What’s your favorite vegetable? everything. any greens are usually my fave. Do you have a youtube channel? If so, what is it? (Msg me if u want to watch mine!) yes but i’m not sharing it lol. What song best describes your life? none. Would you ever post your most embarrassing moment story on youtube, or is that too embarrassing for you? haha no. i wouldn’t post that on youtube. If you have a youtube channel, do you post more serious videos or fun? back when i used to travel, they were all travel vlogs. Are you keeping any secrets from your parents? not intentionally. just the usual things you wouldn’t really share with your parents. What are your favorite things to watch on youtube? depends on my mood. beauty stuff, travel vlogs, react videos, live music etc. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? nope. maybe when i have my own home. Do you do yoga? no. What is something you have tried and hated? olives and wine. i’ve tried these multiple times and i know i’ll never like them. Do you have regrets? of course but there’s no point dwelling in them. Are you a good person? i hope so! Who do you look up to? my parents. it’s crazy to think i was already in school when they were my age now. i’m nowhere near ready to settle down. Do you do the right thing or the wrong thing more? right. Are you rebellious? not really. How many tattoos do you have? none. What do you want to name your first child? idk yet. it will all depend when the time comes. Are you mad at someone? no. What is this month’s calendar picture? i don’t have a pic calendar. What is your last ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s name? - Do you have an ex-friend that you miss? haha no. i had very very toxic ex friends. What color do you want your wedding dress to be? white most likely. What is your favorite zoo animal? i love seeing bears for some reason. they’re amazing. Who were your favorite bands as a kid or teenager? way too many to name. it was a mix of rnb groups and even emo groups. Do you use snapchat? hardly. i still have it on my phone but i’m never on it. How many months until your birthday? 6-7. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? i like both so it depends on my mood. What’s your favorite ramen noodle flavor? chicken or beef. What decade were you born in? 90s. What is/was your favorite Homecoming Week day? - How do you feel when you read the Bible, if you read it? Encouraged? Angry? haven’t read it since i was in high school. no feelings. Have you ever suffered from anxiety? yes. Have you ever suffered from depression? i don’t think so. Have you ever seen an angel or a demon? no. What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? the new wave of rnb music. i can’t find an artist that i really relate to anymore. What color is your favorite pair of jeggings or skinny jeans? black. Do you own any bellbottoms? no. Do you own a dreamcatcher? no. What season’s colors do you look best in? haha idk? Have you ever done something incredibly stupid? of course. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? haha always. What is your favorite mystical creature? none. What do you want to be when you grow up? i’m technically already well and truly in my adulthood and i still don’t know. Are you truly happy, or are you only happy because you’re doing something to distract yourself from your problems? Or are you just sad? i’m okay. i’m not sad. Have you ever lost something amazing because you held on to it too hard? i don’t think so? Is there a guy or girl you let slip away and you wish you hadn’t? nope. Do you ever wonder what could have been? not really haha. What’s an uplifting song you like to listen to? i have no idea. Paisleys or plaid? i don’t own either but i think i like paisley more. What’s your vocal range? i wish i could sing! probably one octave lol.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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imlovethomassanders · 5 years

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Home for Christmas

So four of my fics didn’t show up in the tags because they had links to my ao3 account in them, so I’m reposting them w/o the links because I heavily depend on the tags for people to see them.

This one took a long time to write and I’m really proud of it, so while I appreciate if you read any of my fics I’d really love for you to check this one out.

My ao3 account is glassesgay Check out my masterlist for the rest of my fics

Requested by anonymous

Summary: Roman comes back to his home town for Christmas after a few years away and runs into his high school sweetheart, Virgil.

Ships: Prinxiety, mentioned Logicality, mentioned RemyXEmile

Warnings: mentions of abuse and some allusions to sex (nothing actually n\s\f\w) and Virgil swears quite a bit

Word Count: 5761

Not posting my taglist since they were tagged in the original post

Roman sighed as he stopped the rental car in his parents driveway. He stared at the familiar house in front of him with a look of disdain curling on his lip.

He hadn’t been home in five years, and he never suspected he would ever come back.

Roman worked hard throughout high school to earn money and scholarships for college. Throughout college, he worked hard at maintaining his grades but also to get enough money to move to New York. He somehow managed to do it, and found an apartment outside of New York City and found a roommate named Patton.

It had been really rough at first with both him and Patton skipping meals and walking in the snow around the city because he couldn’t afford a taxi. But then Patton’s boyfriend, Logan, moved in with them, and with three people paying rent, things got a little easier.

After a year in New York, Roman was then finally able to find his footing and got acting gigs. He suspected if he kept auditioning, he could definitely make his Broadway debut someday.

Driving through his small hometown, memories flooded back to him and none of them were pleasant. He had been a big-city kid stuck in a small town. Nothing exciting ever happened. They didn’t have a theater. Their theater program in school was severely underfunded.

His parents never supported him or listened to him or cared.

Roman had to get out. And that’s what he did.

He told himself he’d never look back.

But one day, out of the blue, his parents called and asked him to come home for Christmas. Why now, after five years of no contact, Roman didn’t know. He didn’t know if they wanted money or wanted him to move back in or what.

Roman had no idea why he said yes. He half thought to turn back around to the airport.

Instead, he got out the car and grabbed his suitcase from the trunk. His legs moved on autopilot as he walked towards the front door. The dip in the pathway was there. Don’t step there, that spot gets really slick with ice. There’s where the concrete steps up.

He stopped and took a deep breath before knocking on the door. After a few moments the door swung open and there was his mom.

She looked the same.

“Hi, Mom.”

She smiled. “Roman! It’s so good to see you!”

He was ushered inside his childhood home to see everything was the same. The crack in the window from when Roman threw rocks at is a a kid. The water damage from a leak they took too long to fix. Scratches on the wood floor from Roman’s toy cars.

Absolutely nothing had changed.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by his dad grasping his shoulder.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Roman.”

“We made your bed,” Roman’s mom said. “You’re room is all ready.”

Roman gave a curt smile and nodded before walking down the hall to his room. All the drawings he made with marker as a child were still there. Significantly faded, but still there. He opened the door, and the only thing different was the bed sheets. Musical posters lined the walls and sheet music littered his desk and floor. Old monologues were sticking out of one of his drawers. Paint stains littered the carpet in the corner of the room with his easel.

His heart panged in his chest as a wave of bitter nostalgia washed through him.

He didn’t miss this room.

He was starting to unpack his suitcase when he remembered something.

He got on his knees and looked under the bed to see an old shoebox hidden against the back wall. He pulled it out and felt another sharp pang in his chest.

Roman sat down on his bed and looked at the box in his lap. He took a deep breath before opening it. A small rainbow flag laid on top of stacks of papers. He placed the flag next to him and continued. Phone numbers for LGBT+ suicide hotlines were written on a scrap piece of notebook paper along with resource websites. Pamphlets advertising for the school’s small Gay-Straight Alliance. Roman remembered telling his parents he had tutoring after school so he could go to the GSA without him knowing.

There was a rainbow and HRC sticker he never got the courage to put on his laptop. Informational packets given to him by the GSA about different identities. Invitations for the GSA Christmas parties. A laminated piece of paper to show his teachers on the Day of Silence to explain why he wasn’t talking.

After he picked up the last piece of paper, he saw a photo of him and his high school boyfriend at the very bottom. Roman was kissing his cheek while he was laughing. He quickly shoved the papers back on top of it and closed the box.

They had originally tried to keep in touch when Roman went off to college, but since he was a year younger than Roman he was stuck in his senior year of high school as Roman left the state. Things got in the way and after about a year they lost contact.

A wave of sadness washed over him before bitter anger. He was angry at the fact he had to hide this from his parents. He was angry over how much pain this caused him as young, confused, desperate teenager.

He shoved the box back under his bed and went to finish unpacking.

Roman’s parents asked if he wanted to stay for dinner, but he said he was going to meet somebody. He assured them he would stay tomorrow, he just wanted to get reacquainted with the town.

He wasn’t actually meeting anyone. He just wanted out of that house.

Roman had parked the rental car in the first parking spot he saw in the little shopping district his town had. He stepped out and felt another wave of sadness as he decided where to go.

He walked to a little coffee shop he and his boyfriend would visit a lot. Being in different classes, they couldn’t see each other much at school and neither of them wanted to deal with their parents, so they came here to spend time together and enjoy each others company. It was his favorite place in town.

(Well, his actual favorite spot had been parked in an abandoned lot in the woods, the two of them together in the backseat of Roman’s car. But he wasn’t going to admit that.)

He opened the door to walk in when he ran into someone who was trying to leave at the same time.

He went to apologize and froze in his tracks.

Roman couldn’t believe it.

There he was, standing right in front of him.

Virgil Moore.

They both stared at each other in shock, trying to come up with what to say. They quickly stepped away from the door as someone cleared their throat behind them, annoyed they were blocking the exit.

“I- Virgil,” Roman breathed out. “It’s so wonderful to see you.”

“I- um- yeah,” Virgil stuttered out.

If anything had changed in this town, it was Virgil. He had this emo/goth aesthetic he was always too scared to commit to in high school, but here he was in black jeans and a hoodie. He had had always talked about wanting to paint his nails, and now that Roman saw him with black nail polish he felt a surge of pride go through him. Not only that, but his hair was purple and he pierced his ears.

He looked incredible.

“Sit with me, please?” Roman asked, eyes wide and hopeful. Virgil just nodded as he followed Roman to a table.

Roman didn’t even bother getting coffee. He had bigger priorities now.

“How have you been? What have you been up to? I can’t believe it’s been five years. I’ve missed you. Have you-”

“Slow down, Princey,” Virgil said. Roman’s heart fluttering at the old nickname.

“How have you been, Virgil?”

Virgil opened his mouth to say something before closing it again. Eventually he just huffed a defeated sigh and slouched back in his chair.

“As well as I could be in this town, I guess.”

Roman’s smile faltered a bit.

“How about you?”

Roman hesitated to answer, wanting to be careful with his words. He didn’t have a bad thing to say about his past five years out of this town, and he didn’t want to make Virgil feel worse.

“I want you to tell the truth, Roman,” Virgil eventually said. “It isn’t going to upset me.”

Roman melted under the sound of his name escaping Virgil’s mouth again as he allowed his smile to widen.

“I’ve been fantastic,” Roman said. “I live in New York now and everything is going so well.”

“Glad to hear it,” Virgil muttered into his coffee.

“You said you wouldn’t get mad,” Roman said.

“I’m not,” Virgil sighed. “Jealous, perhaps. But not mad.”

Roman went to say something when Virgil looked at his phone.

“Shit, I’ve got to go home. My parents are expecting me.”

“You still live with your parents?”

“They haven’t allowed otherwise.”

Roman winced.

“Is your number the same?” Virgil asked.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll text you.”

“You still have my number memorized?” Roman said, giving Virgil a cheeky smile. Blush quickly formed on Virgil’s face.

“I’ll see you later, Roman.”

Roman watched as Virgil left, smile wide and heart racing.

Roman was giddy as he walked back to his rental car. He had finally got his coffee and had grabbed a sandwich there too, but all he wanted to do now was go back to his bedroom and wait for Virgil to text him.

After a few hours of lying on his bed and lounging on his laptop, he heard his phone ding on his desk.

He almost threw his laptop off him as he untangled himself from his blankets.

Unknown Number: roman?

Roman: Virgil?

Virgil: yeah

Roman felt his smile grow on his face.

Roman: It was nice to see you again.

Virgil: yeah

Roman: Are you free anytime this week? I’d like to see you again.

Virgil: i have work tomorrow but im free the rest of the week for the holidays

Roman: Want to grab lunch sometime?

They arranged plans, and Roman fell asleep excited, not wanting to wait for the day after tomorrow to come.

Virgil groaned as he woken up by the blare of his alarm clock. He hit the off button and pushed himself up. He shuffled towards the bathroom he shared with his parents. As he stepped in the shower and let the hot water wash over him, he heard his parents yelling at each other.

So it was going to be one of those days.

As he got ready for work, they kept fighting - their voices getting louder and louder.

Virgil didn’t like that he was used to this.

Eventually, he was finally ready to go and went to grab his wallet, keys, and phone before heading out.

Virgil hated living with his parents. He was twenty-two. He should have been able to go to college and meet new people and experience new things and get away from this hell town and shitty parents.

Like Roman did.

But he couldn’t. His parents were controlling and abusive and wouldn’t let him leave.

It wasn’t like Virgil could afford to leave anyways.

Virgil had been working as much as he can to earn enough to make it out of here. He was so close it was maddening.

As he walked out the front door, his phone dinged.

Roman: Good morning~

Virgil felt heat rise in his face. Roman used to always send him good morning texts when they were dating.

Virgil didn’t know what to make of all this. He and Roman were dating, then Roman went off to do bigger and better things while Virgil was stuck here.

And then out of the blue, Roman just shows up again and wants to act like nothing happened.

Did Virgil even want to reconnect with Roman? Sure, they were crazy about each other in high school, but they were only teenagers.

Roman had changed. He was taller, tanner, more fit, and more put together. But the most recognizable thing was how confident he seemed. None of that fake confidence he put up in high school, but genuine confidence.

Virgil couldn’t deny how happy that made him to see Roman like that. Especially after how the numerous times Virgil had to comfort Roman, trying to make him see past his self doubts and see how amazing he was.

He couldn’t deny that part of him wanted to see Roman again. What are the odds they run into each other?

So Virgil texted Roman a quick “hey” before getting in his car and driving to work.

Virgil worked at a clothing store, and working retail sucked . His manager sucked, the owner sucked, most of the customers sucked, and even the clothes there sucked.

It sucked.

Virgil couldn’t get on his phone until his lunch break, and that’s when he saw Roman had texted him.

Repeatedly.

Roman: I hope you’re doing well this morning~ It was so strange to sleep in my bedroom again. Remember all those times you stayed the night? Those were nice. I’m excited to see you.

Virgil’s face got red. He wished Roman would stop talking about when they dated.

And god, how could Virgil forget. He’d bring a sleeping bag to let Roman’s parents think it was a normal sleepover, but as soon as Roman’s parents went to bed he’d cuddle up with Roman on his bed.

They never dared to do much since Roman’s parents were right across the hall, but some of their most tender moments were shared in his bedroom, with Roman’s arms wrapped tightly around him.

Virgil shook his head.

Roman: I hope I’m not bothering you with all these texts. Oh wait I forgot you had work I hope work isn’t too bad today

Virgil: im on my lunch break now i see you still talk too much

Roman: Hey! Do not. Seriously though - you doing okay?

Virgil: as well as i can be in retail

Roman: ouch

Virgil walked into the Taco Bell and put his phone in his pocket to order. Once he sat down with his food, he saw Roman had continued to text him a lot.

Roman: I hope everything’s okay. I never asked, where do you work? When I left you were working at McDonald’s, but it doesn’t sound like you work there anymore.

Virgil: a boutique filled with too much turquoise and paisley

Roman: Sounds fun. Remember when I tried to work fast food but got fired for arguing with customers too much?

Virgil: how could i forget you used to get us both in trouble

Roman: Haha, sorry.

Virgil was scared by how easy it was to talk to Roman. Things were so different now. Roman was so different now. He was so different now.

But they were talking like Roman never left.

The next day, Roman got up early. After a painfully slow day with his parents, he was ready to see Virgil again.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

Roman whistled happily as he walked out the front door, spinning his key ring on his finger.

Virgil was adamant they had not meet at the same coffee shop. Roman had suspected it had something to do with how much time they spent there together in high school. So they decided to meet in a nearby bakery.

Virgil was already there, shaking his leg and twisting his hoodie string. It was a nervous tick he had in high school, and Roman thought it was cute that he kept it all these years. Virgil saw him walk towards the table and waved.

“Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Roman said as he sat down. “How are you?”

“Fine,” Virgil shrugged. “You?”

“Fantastic, now,” Roman said as he pulled the chair closer to the table.

“…Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Cause you look more beautiful than I remember,” Roman grinned.

Virgil’s cheeks turned a dark red.

“Oh, shut up,” Virgil muttered.

“Tell me everything that’s happened since I left,” Roman said.

“Not much,” Virgil admitted. “You left, I finished my senior year of high school. I got a job at this dumb little boutique, trying to earn enough to leave. My parents won’t let me get an apartment of my own, so I’m planning on leaving one day without telling them.”

“Where?”

Virgil shrugged. “Anywhere. Away.”

They stopped talking as a waitress came to take their order.

“What have you been doing since you left?” Virgil asked.

“Well, obviously, I went to college. Those four years went by so quickly, Virgil.”

“Tell me everything about it,” Virgil said suddenly, eyes bright. “I’ll never get to go, so I want to hear about your experiences.”

This caught Roman by surprise, but he smiled and relaxed in his chair.

“Yeah, alright. Well, my freshman year started with a roommate named Jacob. He was the worst . But I met some great people, too. Valerie, for starters. She was also a musical theater major.”

They stopped talking as the waitress gave them their drinks.

“I met Damien that year. He’s majoring in theatrical makeup. He’s a snarky asshole, but we love him anyways,” Roman continued. “My sophomore year my roommate was Remy. Oh, god, imagine the sassiest gay guy you know. He’s sassier. We stayed roommates for the rest off college. He’s one of my best friends. He later introduced me to his boyfriend Emile who’s studying to be a therapist. He’s great, if not a bit too obsessed with cartoons. Even more so than myself.

Classes were hard, but god, all my theater courses were a dream . My sophomore year I slacked off a bit in my studies because Remy always knew where the next party was. I was, uh, pretty crazy that year.”

“Oh?” Virgil asked. “Roman? A party animal? Never saw it coming,” he teased. Roman stuck his tongue out.

Roman continued to talk about his best experiences. The parties, the performances, the times spent with friends.

While Virgil was happy to see Roman had a good time, it also left a bitter taste in his mouth to know he missed out on so much.

Roman let it slip that he dated somebody. He snapped his mouth shut and looked at Virgil with scared, wide eyes as he waited for a reaction.

“You dated?” Virgil asked.

“But none of them lasted very long,” Roman said quickly. “They were fun, sure, but ultimately they didn’t mean anything.”

“It’s not a big deal, Roman. We aren’t dating anymore,” Virgil said.

Roman stopped breathing

“Yeah, you’re right,” he whispered, staring at the floor.

“I mean, I dated a couple of guys while you were gone,” Virgil said.

Silence. Virgil knew that wasn’t what Roman wanted to hear, but it was something that needed to be acknowledged.

“Do you think…” Roman started slowly. “We could ever get back together?”

That was the question Virgil had been dreading. He took a deep breath before it was his turn to stare at the floor.

“I don’t know, Roman. I really don’t know. Let’s just see go through this week, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Roman said softly.

“So what are you doing now?” Virgil asked.

“I live in New York,” Roman said, trying to build up the same energy he had earlier. “I’m rooming with my friends Patton and Logan. Damien, Remy, Emile, and I all keep in touch regularly. I’ve gotten a couple of acting gigs and if everything keeps going as well as it is now I’ll definitely be able to make my Broadway debut someday.”

“Make sure you get me tickets for that,” Virgil said. "You never shut up about Broadway in high school. I’d like to see all that carrying on was for something.“

“Of course,” Roman laughed.

The week went by too quickly. While Roman made sure to spend as much time with Virgil as possible, it was never enough. Roman had scheduled to leave the day after Christmas, but now Roman was regretting that decision.

Near the end of the week, Virgil finally agreed to meet Roman back in the coffee shop. So here they were, talking and laughing just like they used to.

Roman was happy to see Virgil was just as comfortable around him now as he used to be.

He also couldn’t ignore the blushes and soft gazes on Virgil’s face, just as Virgil couldn’t ignore the ones on Roman’s.

"Oh my god! I can’t believe you did that!” Virgil laughed. Roman smiled and shrugged.

“I was 19, drunk, and stupid.”

Virgil continued to laugh for a bit before stopping, wiping tears from his eyes.

“I forgot how much I missed this,” Roman whispered. “I forgot how much I missed you.”

“Roman…” Virgil started.

“I don’t think my feelings for you ever went away completely,” Roman said. “They just started to fade. And maybe after five years that’s really pathetic, but I don’t care.”

“Roman, I-”

“And I don’t want to leave this town until I know what you’re feelings towards me are right now,” Roman finished.

“I- I don’t know. I’d like to, but I don’t know,” Virgil admitted. “It’s been five years Roman. So much has changed and- and we have so much we’d have to talk about-”

“Let’s talk, then,” Roman pleaded. Virgil was starting to get panicky, so Roman backed off a bit.

“I- I don’t want to talk where people could hear us,” Virgil admitted.

“…Let’s go to that spot in the woods,” Roman said.

“ Roman! ” Virgil hissed.

“No, no! Not like that,” Roman clarified. “Where we know for certain no one else is around. It’ll just be us two. We don’t have to worry about anything else but ourselves.

Virgil hesitated for a few moments. “Fine, yeah. Let’s just go.”

Roman led Virgil out of the coffee shop and into the rental car. Virgil was silent the who car ride, making Roman nervous.

As Roman drove down the bumpy dirt roads, he noticed Virgil was biting his nails. A bad habit he tried to drop in high school and only resorted to when he was really nervous.

Roman parked and they both just stared ahead.

“What’s bothering you, Virge?” Roman asked, pulling out his high school nickname for Virgil.

Virgil huffed and got out of the car. Roman quickly followed as they went to sit on the trunk.

They both stared straight ahead for a few moments.

“I’ll go first,” Roman offered. Virgil said nothing. "I was devastated when you stopped answering my texts, but I also understood. It’s hard to maintain a long distance relationship at such a young age.

But we’re older now. And with more life experience, I know we had something really special, Virgil.“

Roman was getting choked up and had to pause for a moment. Virgil looked down at the ground.

"And seeing you after five years really made me realize that. This past week has been amazing. And I know things would be different now, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be great. Based on this week alone, I think we could really make this work.”

Roman took a shaky breath. Virgil reached out and placed a hand on Roman’s knee. Roman placed a hand over Virgil’s, and they both sat in silence for a few minutes. Not awkward, not peaceful. Just silent.

“When you left,” Virgil started, voice sounding really loud after pure silence. "I was completely alone. I felt abandoned. I understand now that it isn’t your fault and I would have taken the same chance you did. But at the time I was angry. I had no other friends in that school or anyone else I trusted, Roman.“

Roman squeezed Virgil’s hand as he took a deep breath.

"You were so excited about everything. You were having a great time while I was just stuck. I was so angry that I would never get the chance to go to college. So I thought I was angry at you. I quickly found out I wasn’t angry at you, but at myself and my parents and basically everything else. But not you. Never you. So that anger devolved into self-hatred. This was my fault. I deserved to be alone. I thought you didn’t deserve to deal with my sorry ass anymore, so I stopped answering your calls and texts.”

They were both close to tears now.

“Virgil, darling, I-”

“And I shouldn’t have done that. How much did I take away from us? Five years of what could have been happiness.”

“Virgil, I-”

“And I guess I’m still angry and jealous, but not at you. Because I’m stuck in this town when all I want is to leave. I want to leave this town and be free of everything this town did to me.”

“…How are your parents?” Roman asked. His mind flashed back to all the times Roman helped Virgil after he came to Roman’s house covered in scrapes and bruises. The times he had to hold Virgil while he cried because of his parent’s cruel words. The times Virgil had to sneak into Roman’s bedroom window because his parents kicked him out for the night.

Roman would never forgive them.

“The physical abuse stopped as I got older. But shit, Roman,. The verbal and emotional has only gotten worse.”

“Virgil, I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to reconnect with you. I knew what you were stuck with, but I didn’t try harder to help you,” Roman said. The tears they were both holding back escaped their eyes.

“Jesus, Roman. Don’t cry or you’re gonna make it worse,” Virgil said, wiping away his own tears.

“Sorry,” Roman muttered as he wiped his eyes.

“I want to leave,” Virgil whispered, staring at the woods in front of them. "I want to leave so badly. I want to go out and show my art and my stories to the world. I want the same opportunities you had, Roman. I’m trying so hard to leave but I’m just… scared. Scared I’ll go somewhere else and nothing will change. I’ll still be pathetic and I’ll still be alone.“

Silence fell between them. The sky was starting to grow dark around them as the air grew colder.

”…Come back with me.“

"What?”

“Come back with me to New York,” Roman said, more insistent this time as he turned more towards Virgil. Virgil stared at him.

“I- I-”

“My roommates won’t mind. With another person paying rent, it’ll just make things easier. And- and I’ll let you take my room and I’ll stay on the couch, I don’t care. I can help you find a job and I can show you all my favorite places and-”

“Roman I can’t just leave with you.”

“Why not? You’d finally have freedom, Virgil! You can have the opportunities to get your art and creations out there!”

Virgil looked overwhelmed, so Roman reached out and gently put Virgil’s hands in his, holding them to his chest. "I know it’s sudden and I know it’s a lot, but I promise you that I’ll be with you every step of the way.“

"This is crazy,” Virgil whispered.

“Probably.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Definitely.”

“We met for the first time in five years a week ago. I can’t just- I- I mean I want- I-”

“I’ll let you think about it,” Roman said. "I’m still in town for a few more days. And if you still haven’t made up your mind by then, I’ll wait for your answer in New York. And if you say yes, I’ll come down and get you.

“This could be the dumbest decision I’ll ever make in my life.”

“Doesn’t that make it more exciting?” Roman asked, eyes twinkling.

“I’ll think about it,” Virgil sighed as he took his hands out of Roman’s.

The next day, Virgil and Roman met up again. To Virgil’s relief, Roman didn’t mention the offer. Not the next day, nor the next.

They just hung out together like everything was normal, and that’s exactly what Virgil wanted.

Christmas was painful. Roman’s parents asked him to spend the entire day with him, but Roman really just wanted to see Virgil.

Roman still couldn’t tell what his parents wanted. Were they trying to sweeten him up with Christmas to ask for something? Or were they genuinely wanting to reconnect with their son?

Roman had no idea.

Roman went through the motions and was nice and grateful. If his mother was anything, she was a really good cook, so he had that going for him that day.

All in all, it was just as he expected.

It was late at night when he got a call from Virgil.

“Hey, Virgil. What’s-”

“Roman? Where are you?” Virgil asked, voice shaking. Roman could hear him struggling to breath, and Roman knew exactly what was happening.

“Hey, hey, Virgil. Remember the breathing exercises you learned. Good, good. You’re doing so good, Virge. It’s okay. Everything’s okay,” Roman said, relief washing over him as he heard Virgil’s breath become more steady. "What happened?“

"My dad- he- fuck.”

“Do you need to come over?” Roman offered.

Silence.

“Yeah,” Virgil said quietly.

“My parents are about to go to bed, so-”

“I’ll come in your window,” Virgil finished.

“I’ll see you soon,” Virge.“

"Yeah,” Virgil said before hanging up.

About ten minutes later there was a light tapping on the window. Roman went to open it, struggling a bit against the resistance due to lack of use, but eventually opened it. Virgil immediately fell into Roman’s arms and buried his head into Roman’s chest. Roman let Virgil hug him as he closed the window again before turning all his attention to Virgil.

“What happened?” Roman whispered. Virgil was struggling to keep his sobs silent as he knew his parents might hear.

“My dad and I got in a fight,” Virgil muttered into Roman’s chest. “And I got so angry I told him I was leaving to New York.”

Virgil was getting worked up again so Roman shushed him as he led them to the bed to sit down.

“And- and he just, lost it,” Virgil said. “He tried to beat me for the first time in years. And when I grabbed his arm to stop him he started yelling all sorts of shit. And the worst part was that all the memories of this happened in the past came back at once, making me have an anxiety attack, and I ran outside and called you and I just-”

Roman shushed him gently. “It’s okay. You’re here now. Nothing’s going to happen to you anymore.”

Roman gently removed Virgil’s arms from around him. Virgil didn’t object as they’ve been through these motions many times before, five years ago. Roman got a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and offered them to Virgil. Virgil changed in front of Roman with no problem, having done it countless times before, five years ago.

Roman climbed into bed and Virgil climbed in next to him. Roman was hesitant to wrap his arms around Virgil, but Virgil curled up next to him, resting his head on the crook of Roman’s neck.

“I never told you, but I did miss you,” Virgil whispered as Roman pulled the blankets over them, warm breath on Roman’s neck. "And it made me really happy to see you again.“

"And I’m going to New York with you. Even though you’re crazy.”

“You make me crazy.”

“And you make me stupid.”

Roman laughed at that but quickly caught himself and glanced towards the door.

“It’s really like we’re in high school again,” Virgil muttered. Virgil then adjusted himself so he was propped up on his elbow and looking directly at Roman.

“I think we can make this work,” Virgil whispered. "It’ll be different, and not always easy, but I think we can do this. I’m willing to work for it if you are.“

"My darling, I’m willing to do anything for you,” Roman muttered as he went to move a stray piece of hair from Virgil’s face. Virgil looked at him for a moment before closing the gap between them and connected their lips.

This kiss was softer than any kiss they shared before. Roman’s hand was rested on Virgil’s cheek as the kiss deepened, but still just as slow.

Virgil pulled away first, staring at Roman with that adoring look Roman hadn’t seen since high school, causing his heart to jump in his chest.

“I’m really scared, Roman,” Virgil admitted as he laid back down and intertwined their fingers. “But I trust you.”

Roman and Virgil woke up early that morning and got dressed as quickly as possible. Roman was thankfully able to order Virgil a plane ticket with him to New York. Roman quickly threw his suitcase back together. He handed Virgil the car keys to sneak out the window and wait on him while he went to see his parents

He hugged his parents goodbye with the promise to call them in a couple of days, deciding they genuinely wanted to reconnect with him.

It was a holiday of reconnecting.

He couldn’t get to Virgil’s house fast enough. He walked into Virgil’s bedroom and saw it also hadn’t changed much. Band posters and decor still littered the walls, along with art supplies everywhere and crumpled up papers from failed writing drafts.

He helped Virgil pack his stuff, which was easier than Roman expected as Virgil already knew what he was willing to leave behind (he had been planning his leave for a long time). Virgil took one last look at his bedroom before grabbing Roman’s hand to walk towards the front door.

Virgil’s parents were clearly angry, but never tried to intervene. Probably because Roman was very tall and very fit.

Virgil stopped Roman and the two couples just stared at each other.

Virgil then grabbed Roman’s face and kissed him. When he looked back at his parents, their faces were one of disgust and shock.

That was all the goodbye he was going to grace them with.

Virgil took Roman’s hand and let Roman lead him towards the car and towards the unknown. He was scared, but he felt safe, as all his trust was in Roman again.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety

114 notes · View notes

fortyflightower · 4 years

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artist ask babey!!😌🤙 the smiths, charli xcx, LANA DEL REY. i could do more. we shall see

CAITLYN YOU MADE THIS SO HARD FOR ME.... thank u but also i hate you 😤 sorry this is so long i just have a lot of thoughts and i don’t know how to shut up. i told you this was going to be a novel and here it is. writers doing nanowrimo wish they were me.

THE SMITHS.... one time i mentioned that i listened to them to one of my art teachers & he asked me what my favorite songs by them were & i completely blanked. it still haunts me to this day but i’m stronger now and i will not make that mistake again

1. back to the old house

this song has everything. the depression. the softness the yearning. ALSO these lyrics...

and you never knew / how much I really liked you / because I never even told you

2. the headmaster ritual

this is the song i listen to when i’m depressed, angry, and considering dropping out of school.

i want to go home / i don't want to stay / give up education / as a bad mistake

belligerent ghouls / run manchester schools / spineless bastards all

this line makes me think of my vid prod teacher 😊😤

3. still ill

had to stop myself from copy pasting all of the lyrics from this one. i also have it on my adam playlist SO.

england is mine, it owes me a living / but ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

what can i say... i just like the rage and entitlement of this

but we cannot cling to the old dreams anymore / no, we cannot cling to those dreams

no thoughts head empty. i think i like it because it reminds me of that line from ribs by lorde.

does the body rule the mind / or does the mind rule the body? / i dunno

this is so adam core. will not explain any further

4. this charming man

BASIC I KNOW but it was the first song i ever listened to by them (i found it on a gansey playlist on 8tracks back in middle school😔🤟) don’t have any favorite lyrics from this one but the opening is ICONIC.

5. well i wonder

this one.... is SO emo but that’s okay... also the way he sings these lyrics... TOO MUCH 4 me

gasping - dying - but somehow still alive / this is the final stand of all I am / please keep me in mind

honorable mentions are there is a light that never goes out, the boy with the thorn in his side, never had no one ever, cemetery gates, and I WANT THE ONE I CANT HAVE because i’m THAT indecisive

miss Charli XCX... i’m going to be real i don’t listen to her much but when i do i am DOWN TO CLOWN.

1. vroom vroom

i have a playlist called “music to get into a car crash to” and this is the only song on it.

lavender lamborghini, roll up in a blue bikini /bitches on the beaches, lookin' super cute and freaky

Ugh the vibes of this 😩 wish my friends and i could pull this look off

bitches know they can't catch me / (vroom vroom) cute, sexy and my ride's sporty

used this for as a caption for that one tdt drawing i did & i have no regrets. this really embodies the vibes of any scene where ronan & kavinsky are racing.

beep beep, so let's ride

i just think the sound effects are funny

bubblegum-pink ferrari, yeah, I'm so bossy

these are the vibes i would like to embody but never will. also i think barbie & elle woods gave me a primal respect and desire for a pink car.

2. dreamer

nothing to say abt this one except that all i can think abt when i listen to it is that one maggie steifvater copying charli xcx meme. also it’s an absolute banger and one of the songs i blast when i’m going unhinged but in a sexy thot type of way

3. boom clap

this song changed my life when i first heard it on the tfios soundtrack. not that deep but does music have to be? no.

first kiss just like a drug /under your influence / you take me over you're the magic in my veins/ this must be love

boom clap / the sound of my heart / the beat goes on and on and on and on and

HER MIND WHEN SHE WROTE THIS... pop music peaked with this song

LANA. i like listening 2 her music in the winter because the summer depression vibes cancel out seasonal depression like pemdas. she was litchrally my spotify artist of the decade which is so baffling because i don’t feel like i listen to her that much. ALSO every few months i get sucked into a hole of watching concert vids on instagram & it ruins my life.

1. salvatore

the vocals in this... she truly has the range.

I adore you, can't you see, you're meant for me?

catch me if you can / working on my tan / salvatore / dying by the hand / of a foreign man / happily / calling out my name / in the summer rain / ciao amore /salvatore can wait / now it's time to eat / soft ice cream

all of her ooohing and aaahing is great but THIS PART is so sexy. also i almost made a post comparing “dying by the hand of a foreign man happily” & “the choice was death or hurting adam which wasn’t much of a choice at all” but i figured it was too much

2. video games

basic but it’s a classic. also the radical face cover re-ignited my love for this song.

i say you the bestest / lean in for a big kiss put his favorite perfume on / go play your video game

there’s a video of her singing this live where she’s on a swing and she waves her hand when she says “go play your video game” and i think about it every single day

he holds me in his big arms / drunk and i am seeing stars / this is all i think of

this part makes me want to be held 😪

it's you, it's you, it's all for you / everything i do / i tell you all the time / heaven is a place on earth with you

honestly so romantic. what else can i say

3. off to the races

this is my favorite to see live videos of.. the little dance she does to it has me feeling some type of way 🥺😪 one of the classics. lana slapping the roof of this song like “this baby can fit to much daddy kink, drugs, and sex in it”

swimming pool / glimmering darling /white bikini off with my red nail polish

my old man is, a tough man / but he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam / and he shows me, he knows me, every inch of my tar black soul

the imagery of this... UGH

4. california

THIS ENTIRE SONG IS TOO GOOD. i don’t even know what to say abt it except that lana really went off with nfr

you don't ever have to be stronger than you really are / when you're lying in my arms, baby / you don't ever have to go faster than your fastest pace

you're scared to win, scared to lose / i've heard the war was over if you really choose

5. old money

this one makes me cry the hardest out of all her songs because it’s so sad and desperate

blue hydrangea, cold cash divine / cashmere, cologne and white sunshine / red racing cars, sunset and vine / the kids were young and pretty

once again the imagery in her songs is UNPARALLELED.

the power of youth is on my mind

this makes me think abt that lorde quote abt how teenagers sparkle or whatever

and if you call i'll run, run, run / if you change your mind, i’ll come, come, come

bonus: music to watch boys to

SORRY i needed to put this one on here. this one should be near the top but i completely forgot abt it until it came on shuffle play & i don’t feel like renumbering the entire list. this one truly is a ronan song i don’t make the rules (the music to watch boys to is the murder squash song). once again it’s the imagery of it all that gets to me.

i like you a lot / putting on my music while I'm watching the boys / so I do what you want

live to love you / and i love to love you / and I live to love you, boy

nothing gold can stay / like love or lemonade / or sun or summer days / it's all a game to me anyway

diet mountain dew didn’t make it onto this list but i have 2 pairs of heart shaped sunglasses because of it so it has a special place in my heart... lanas impact

other honerable mentions are the greatest, fuck it i love you, venice bitch, dark paradise, BURNING DESIRE and cherry because it’s the only good song on lust for life

#blah blah blah #would put this all under a read more but i do not have a computer on me 😪#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #truly nobody cares about this but i have opinions #asks

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sunfish999 · 6 years

Text

Types of People, Kpop ver.

tag yourself haha enjoy

BTS

enjoy Starbucks, typically get an Americano. actually like snakes and most animals. read fantasy romance novels, and that goes for movies as well. when gardening, they prefer flowers, and like the aesthetic of a color scheme. “I’m in love with Khalid”. yellow walls, acrylic paints on wood. starry nights and writing fanfiction at 4:30am. can be bossy but is logical and fair when making decisions. screams at the tv during sports games.

BAP

stealing roses from a neighbors garden. passionate about anything they set their minds to. is sort of basic but in a cute way. lying in bed all day, quilts made by a grandmother. orange lotus soap with a basil scent. writing song lyrics or sheet music, playing the ukelele painted with flowers by your best friend. listens to depressing emo music but somehow it motivates them. cliche daydreams about crushes, can’t get over them even after being rejected. frilly socks and black tights. chipped purple nail polish.

VIXX

very sweet, into astrology. carries a picture of their little nephew in a leather wallet. clear phone case with the space gray iphone 8. likes holding hands with family members, friends, and lovers. lives near the ocean and always has sand between their toes. salty hair. a fresh, lemon scent with a hint of lavender. prefers pinterest over tumblr. “Jon Bellion is SO underrated”. very organized but has lots of things. black doc martens with doodles in gel pen. carries unscented chapstick everywhere.

MONSTA X

tries to be an emo kid but really isn’t. has a lot of money but saves it all for ‘charity’ or ‘college’. aces school but always sleeps in class. mcdonalds all the way. laying in the grass on a sunny day. has some acne but is beautiful anyway. your average alternative music taste. down to earth, grows vegetables for their families. upside down herbs hanging from the kitchen window. is super athletic and most likely plays basketball. really good hearing but can’t see for shit. round glasses that are mismatched.

EXO

singing in the shower, loudly, along with the music on your ipod. brushing your teeth with kids crest toothpaste. lives in jumpsuits and denim jackets. no one knows but they hate the dark. horror movies ftw. an entire shelf in their bedroom is dedicated to plushies. “yes i have to stand on this chair to take a picture of my food”. family camping trips every summer. plays the clarinet and looks forward to band camp. blasts lofi chill hop music whenever they’re in need of inspiration. pretty hands, no piercings. lives for doing anything with other people, will never hesitate to help out someone in need.

SHINEE

super nostalgic, keeps a memory box and still talks to childhood friends. That One Mom Friend. wants to major in psychology. keeps a dream journal and has a tumblr dedicated to psychic research. talks to their dog more than people. huge fluffy white comforter. listens to country music. likes the moments when it’s raining but the sun is out, and most wait for a rainbow but it never appears. doodles on your arms in crayola markers. cheetah print parkas are the way to go in winter. could be in a roller derby or bowling league.

GOT7

opening a window during a thunderstorm and just listening. forgetting to write in their diary. pressed wildflowers that are ugly to some but pretty to them. black fountain pens and nothing else. brings a smoothie to class every morning but never forgets fries at lunch. indie music is their jam. covers up the dark circles under their eyes with concealer, since they stay up until 3am. sleeping in super late on weekends and finally feeling refreshed. star of the soccer team and the lead role in the school musical. clumsy but charming. love at first sight.

NCT

making pinterest foodie recipes. prints out wikihow pages and keeps them in a notebook with them at all times. could read steven king at night without getting scared. screeches at jump scares but cradles spiders. is the world flat? probably does ballet or works out 24/7. keeps potted plants on their windowsill but can’t figure out why they keep dying. never turns the fan on while showering and then draws figures on the glass. drake is my spirit animal. phone is always at 80% but they never bring a charger anywhere. makes you go on the biggest ride at amusement parks or the biggest slide at waterparks. risk-takers and daredevils.

BIGBANG

ironically, watches the big bang theory. and the office. and parks and rec. along with friends. they really enjoy buttery popcorn but skip the salt. listens to 80s music. just above passing grades, hate attention. likes drawing with charcoal on big sketchpads. backhugs for their lover, kisses that send shivers up your spine. silver ring on their middle finger, wears a plaid fannypack everywhere. loves making jokes and is a living meme. lives on a large campus at the uni, works out with friends and is enemies with their roommate. eyebrow piercings and no-makeup makeup. carries a water bottle everywhere.

DAY6

works hard in school and their grades reflect that. has social anxiety but no one knows. pretty posters tacked on the walls. graffiti on the bathroom stalls and on train cars. champion chalk artist. always gets ice cream in a dish. two spoons, they love to share. sitting on the roof of a skyscraper and looking at how awake the city is. thrift store shopping. loves reading biographies and watching documentaries. listens to classic rock.

TWICE

a cat fanatic. watches sherlock, doctor who, and supernatural. is a total geek. makes theories on every tv show ever. can’t fall asleep at night thinking about government conspiracies. gasps when people say they haven’t watched every star wars or read harry potter. “you mean to tell me you don’t know who BILBO BAGGINS is??” stargazing on the roof of your house. spilling tea on your sweater but just shrugging it off. will probably be a best selling author one day. smiles and says ‘have a great day!’ to everyone they see. the guardians of the galaxy soundtrack is everything anyone ever needed.

LOONA

has a favorite poet. cringes at their freshman year GPA of 3.7. listens to podcasts. carries around an almost ripped rucksack so stuffed with books it’s a miracle it hasn’t burst yet. wants to major in philosophy but minor in math. works in a cafe that sells pastries. studies while perched on cushions that cover the floor of their room. falls asleep in random places. owns a pet bird. sings while baking cookies and played the flute in seventh grade. is fluent in french.

BLACKPINK

is into photography. annoys a lot of people but doesn’t let it bother them. smells like sweet perfume. idolizes Audrey Hepburn and owns a book about elegance. it’s on their coffee table. likes vintage hats and wears lace bralettes under everything. owns a record player that continuously plays classic piano records from goodwill. feels like they were born in the wrong generation. tries to capture their emotions with a camera. picks daisies and is an expert at making flower crowns.

RED VELVET

has a sweet tooth. likes cookies and cakes and candies. desperately wants to travel to london. has an art instagram where they post calligraphy. plays card games every saturday. mornings in the saddle and stroking their horse. collects the eggs from their chickens each morning to make omelets. has quote decals on their walls. dazzling white smile and red lipstick. works as a nanny for the kids down the street. is always tired. listens to slow love songs and teaches ballroom dancing and waltzes.

F(X)

is cool and they know it. pulls all nighters with ease, handles alcohol well. takes risks only because they have nothing to lose. is dissatisfied with life. predicted their own death and has written their will already. sells old notes and tests to younger students, as well as being an irish literature tutor. likes reading shakespeare. is the heartthrob of the school. stares out the window during class but can answer whatever question the teacher asks. ripped jeans and fishnets is a winning combination. is a black belt in taekwondo. only ever drinks hot chocolate.

i don’t even know what half of these mean but tag yourself lmao this took years its 3:01am

#kpop #bts #bap #monsta x #got7 #vixx #exo #shinee #nct #bigbang #day6 #twice #loona #red velvet #fx #blackpink #types of people #i dont even know #tag yourself

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