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#not breezeblocks but I want it to be
meatluvrr · 2 years
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“if you sting me, i won’t mind.” rx queen – deftones
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silasbug · 10 months
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by She Wants Revenge, on guitar.
bah. this has been one of my favorite songs since i was 12. i keep trying to get a proper take of it, but this is as good as it'll get. i can sing it with more ferocity, but i prefer it soft.
feat. two more recordings where i thought i sounded okay.
by Fox Academy, chorus, on ukulele.
by Cigarettes After Sex, first verse + chorus, on guitar.
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caffeinefire · 8 months
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My sister knows I tried to do NaNoWriMo last year and that I was trying very hard to actually complete it (I did not. I think I lasted a week.) but she messaged me today very excited because she’s in between books right now and wants to know if I have a rough draft she can read and I don’t know how to tell her the the only thing I’ve written in the past 7 months is 22k words of Trigun fanfic
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i get i really get complaining that humans have moved away from intricate art in architecture like art noveau etc idk how to spell it in favour of easy quick styles with no flourishes like brutalist cause i had a long phase where i totally agreed but the thing with that is. the point of brutalism is to get the building up. yk get the living space up and running for the people who need it as quickly as possible. so artistic styles of architecture were good when we could afford them, but at this point i’d value practicality over frivolity. and i think to an extent there’s more beauty in trying to help huge amounts of people than there is in trying to aesthetically please people who can afford that sort of thing
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toothpaste-fairy · 1 year
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youtube
She may contain the urge to run away but hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks
Cetirizine, you're fever's gripped me again, never kisses, all you ever send are full stops
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undiscovered-horizon · 5 months
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[Zoro is jealous of how impressed you are with another man's strength. A few insults and broken breezeblocks later, he makes sure he's the only man you have eyes on.]
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Roronoa Zoro is a man too busy to boast. He perceives his skills and attributes as a means to an end and not a goal in itself; achieving unmatched swordsmanship is but a method of becoming the world's greatest swordsman.
It's completely useless to waste one's potential only to earn fame and admiration. If one sees their abilities as a goal, they tend to abandon their growth once the goal is achieved, never discovering what they can really do. Therefore, boasting is a manmade border between the current state of things and the wonderful possibilities.
Or so he tells himself.
The crowd cheers again as the blue-haired boy breaks another stack of planks. Each time he adds one more obstacle, the mob of onlookers is sure that this time, he's bound to fail. They've been wrong so far.
Zoro and you have been watching the show from affair but only because you refused to walk away. Sure, on your adventures you have seen people or unimaginable skills and attributes. Nevertheless, the man on the makeshift stage is just that - a man. No Devil Fruit, no canons-for-arms or anything of this sort. Just a person with determination and years of practice.
"Damn, that's some strength," you say in awe. "It's amazing."
Zoro only scoffs, scowling while he stands with his arms crossed. "Come on, this is nothing."
"Oh, right, breaking a stack of five wooden planks with your bare fist is just a regular Tuesday, eh?"
"Definitely not for a twig like him," he answers while still glaring at the boastful plank-breaker. "A gust of wind could break his bones."
Something about his huffing and puffing doesn't sit right with you. After all, why does he care in the first place? Zoro is not the kind of person to be interested in things that are not directly connected to him. It's almost as if...
Is he jealous of the attention?
"You know what, Zoro?" When you turn to look at him, he notices the challenging glint in your eyes. You're up to no good, aren't you? "I'd love to see you try and break even one plank."
He scoffs again but this time he looks almost offended at the implication. "I wouldn't even get out of bed for one."
"That's not a good measure." You shake your head decisively. "It's already hard to make you get up." Then, an idea sparks in your thoughts - something he's sure not to reject. "Let's do it like this. If you can one-up that guy, I'll do whatever you want."
Zoro's brown eyes stare into yours with a new intensity. He seems to be trying to guess how serious you are about your promise. "Anything goes?" he asks suspiciously.
"Nothing that will tarnish my dignity." As a warning, you point your finger at him. "Or dirty my shirt."
Then, to your utmost satisfaction, he gives you a smirk beaming with confidence.
"You're going to regret this."
"I hope so," you answer.
He clenches his jaw at your frivolous tone, his mind racing in a thousand different directions at once. What do you mean you "hope to regret" your wager? What exactly do you think he'll ask of you?
No matter the answers to his questions, Zoro has found a new source of motivation inside him. He can ask anything. As nice as that sounds, and he's sure to let his imagination run amok, the more satisfying prize will be the look of awe you're bound to give him. If you're impressed with this boastful twig of a man, how dazzled will you be with Zoro when he beats him? Maybe you'll finally stop looking at other men like they're actually worth even a second of your time or a speck of your attention.
"Hey, wood boy!" Zoro exclaims at the top of his lungs while making his way through the excited crowd towards the makeshift stage. "Let's see who's stronger."
"A brave challenger appears!" The blue-haired man announces. Whispers erupt among the onlookers. "Or maybe he's stupid?" he directs his question at his fans. Then, when Zoro enters the stage, the man looks at him with a feeling of superiority smeared across his face. "I'll have you know, I'm the local champion."
Up close, the blue-haired man looks even less impressive than from the ground. He's rather scrawny compared to men of similar strength and he could definitely use a long bath. Zoro is almost offended that you'd look at this poser of a clown instead of him.
"Only local?" Zoro asks. He erupts in laughter, making his opponent's expression visibly falter. "Not much of a title. I've seen rocks bigger than this island."
The whispers turn into loud conversations as half of the crowd demands Zoro to take back his words and the other half begs for a showdown to see who's the true master between them.
"Ambitious!" the blue-haired man exclaims with fake casualness, clearly trying to hide his own uneasiness. "That's what I like to see. But I must warn you that breaking wood with the sheer power of your bare fist is neither easy nor simple. Are you sure you can manage?"
Zoro laughs again. His posture only grows with confidence while the other man seems to be becoming smaller with each of Zoro's insults. "Wood is for children."
The blue-haired man swallows nervously. Sweat trickles down his neck. "Alright then." He clasps his hands together, rubbing them to ease the arousing tension. "What do you propose?"
"Breezeblocks."
The crowd audibly gasps and you're not any different. To break something that can render someone unconscious, if not dead, without having to use much strength? Even for someone like Zoro, the suggestion seems more than audacious. True, you wanted to see him prove his bold talk but not break his hands.
But before the blue-haired man can protest or diverge the discussion, a group of eager men bring a load of breezeblocks on stage. Their eyes shine with impatience and desire to see uncommon strength as they take away the wooden boards and set up the first breezeblock for each of them to break. The hollow bricks are placed atop regular, clay bricks that the blue-haired man has used to lay the planks on.
With a light gesture of his hand, Zoro allows the apparent master to begin. The man stretches his arms and cracks his joints. Despite being visibly experienced in this art, there is a noticeable nervousness in his movements, too. As though he's not as confident as he was five minutes ago.
Measuring one or two times beforehand, the local champion slams his fists on the breezeblock. A muffled thud resounds and the crowd falls silent. Then, a loud grunt fills the tense air but not a speck of cement is lifted. The breeze block did not break but considering the agony on the man's face and the deep red of his hand, something surely did break.
Zoro laughs for the third time. Strangely enough, he seems almost suspiciously laid-back. He reaches for the blue-haired man's unbroken breezeblock and places it atop his. If the crowd was silent before, it's deathly quiet now. They don't even dare breathe, awaiting the resolution of this unforeseen wager.
His eyes meet yours and never stray as he punches the stack of breezeblock. They break, fall and crumble on the stagefloor. Zoro doesn't look phased in any way, nor does his hand look to be injured. Judging by his casual attitude, he can easily break a lot more than just two breezeblocks. Maybe one day he'll find out but not at the moment - that's not the point of his little show of strength.
Some people try to accost him or talk to him as he makes his way back to you but Zoro's usual glares and silence quickly mitigate their enthusiasm and soon the mob of onlookers just cheers among themselves.
"Alright, I'm impressed," you admit with a nod. "In capital letters."
"So, anything I want, huh?" He can't help the smile curving his lips. It's a big word that you've used - a little too big for Zoro's imagination because it too happily strayed in directions that might break his heart permanently if you reject him.
"I suppose you do deserve compensation for holding yet another title of a champion. The dreadful weight of success," you say in a dramatic tone. "Now, what is this 'anything' you've decided on?"
Truthfully, he hasn't decided yet. If this "more than friends, less than lovers" situation he has with you was a game of chess, he's just made his opening move. You played back and put him in a place where there are simply too many options to reconsider. So what choice does he have to make to have you in a checkmate?
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lawboy-bloodfreak · 2 years
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your smile is carnivorous; it has a million teeth
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ataraxiaspainting · 4 months
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There is an Uproar.
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Yan Gojo x F Reader.
Synopsis: Satoru thinks you simply haven’t come around yet.
Warnings: Yandere themes, stalking, threats of kidnapping, delusional Gojo, and manipulation.
Word Count: 3.2k.
Ten Songs Like This Piece:
Six Forty Seven by Instupendo
Money, Money, Money by ABBA
Choke - Acoustic by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME
Me and the Devil by Soap&Skin
Breezeblocks by alt-J
Feeling Good by Micheal Bublé
Claus by Los Tres
Bleed Magic by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME
This Could Be Us by Rae Sremmurd 
Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys
“You're like a half-tamed creature, still shy of the bridle. 'Except you enthrall me, never shall be free.' But freedom is an illusion, anyway.” – Nenia Campbell, Fearscape
*~*~*~*
Satoru came to your door with gifts again; mochi, bubble tea, bouquets of roses, keychains, jewelry, books… everything you could ever ask for he either had in his hands or would quickly get for you by whatever means necessary.
It’s a shame really that you refuse to show your true feelings for him, especially after all he has done to make you happy. But he can be patient when he wants to be, and so with a not-yet-broken heart, at least fifteen gift bags wrapped around both his clenched hands, and a chuckle he rings your doorbell twice. He could hear some shuffling from inside and a shout of coming.
The voice was high-pitched and cheery from the sound of it. His eyes lit up then as he smiled widely. But as soon as the door opened, his smile slightly faltered as his gaze met eyes he had never seen before.
The woman in front of him was not you. What was she doing in your apartment?
His first thought was to assume she was an intruder, someone who broke into your home, stole your belongings and money, hid you in a closet or under cement, and is pretending to be you for the time being. Well, he can’t be fooled so easily if that was the case. But he then chose to let the woman speak before coming to conclusions. Though she was wearing your cute Hello Kitty hoodie and utterly adorable My Melody headband and had one of your pore strips on her nose. She obviously knew you in some way, and so he in turn needed to know her.
The woman waved at him and slowly looked down from his face to the many presents in his hands. Her head turned then, a huh accidentally coming from her lips.
“Hello miss,” Satoru tries his best to be polite and not have any bias towards her, but it is indeed hard to do so. It is hard to not have any bias and not entertain the idea of snapping her neck, because he does not know her and she is not you. He does not recognize her from any of your friend groups, and it took everything in him to not sneer and glare at her and demand to know where you were.
“Hey,” She seems to try her best to be polite too, trying to hide her confusion behind a small smile. “Can I help you?”
Satoru nods, trying to put on an eager and friendly front. He then gestures towards the gifts in his hands and chuckles. He fakes almost dropping one for dramatic effect. It seemed like it worked because the woman gasped and then sighed in relief as Satoru caught it in time before it could fall on the floor.
“I am looking for [First], I thought she would be here.” The stranger nods, her smile becoming more prominent. As a result, his own became more prominent too, though his was fake. “I’m her boyfriend. Wanted to surprise her, you know?” 
He is technically not lying. He’s right if anything. Once you stop playing hard to get and fall into his arms, he’ll officially be known as such. He’s right, if only you stopped pretending to be so disinterested.
“Ah, I see!” The woman answers, her eyes inviting and curious. He sighs, faking a small sob and groan. She looked concerned then.
“If only she was here, I always love seeing her smile!” He closes his eyes, trying his best to look sadder than a kicked puppy. “I suppose she’s not here right now…”
With how the girl steps to the side, her hand gesturing towards the apartment hallway, Satoru knows that his plan worked.
*~*~*~*
“I’m Eve, her roommate, nice to meet you!”
“The same to you.”
“So how long have you two been together?”
“A long time, we’ve been together since our high school days!”
“She sure is lucky to have such a devoted boyfriend, huh?”
He laughs at the compliment, his back crouched a bit downward at an angle so he could be more comfortable walking about. Eve chuckles at his casualness.
“You sure got her a lot,” Her tone is sweet, another piece of proof to reassure Satoru that she trusts him fully. Until you eventually show up from wherever you have gone and start spewing lies, she will continue to be that way. You seem to not have good taste in roommates, it seems because Eve is far too naive for your safety. “Like a lot. Do you come here often? I just moved in so…”
Satoru doesn’t pay attention to her questions as he fantasizes about the day when you move into his place and you sleep next to him and wake him up with good morning kisses. A beautiful ring will adorn your finger one day, and you will enthusiastically anticipate his arrival from work while adorning the makeup he favors and styling your hair to his liking.
It was a small, cramped apartment, one definitely not worth how much money you rent it for. “I never get tired of how cute [First] makes this place. With both her presence and how she decorates everything. She has good taste.” He goes into the kitchen area, still having his arms hooked by the strings of the many gift bags, and looks around at the scented candles, dried flowers, and baked cookies on the table. “[First] made these, right?”
“Yeah,” Eve really is stupid, isn’t she? If he were a burglar she would be dead on the spot. How could she possibly protect you from any danger? He would obviously be a better housemate than her. 
Satoru leans towards the kitchen table and snatches a cookie from the cooled baking sheet, biting into it and chewing loudly. 
“Delicious, right?” Eve asks, giggling. She does not seem scared at all and seems to have no boundaries whatsoever.
He agrees, quickly devouring the entire confection and licking his fingers clean. “She’s always been a good baker. There’s a good recipe she knows for pie too. Maybe I’ll ask her to make it for me sometime…” He hums as he sets all the gifts down on the back coffee table. “She sure is a catch, wouldn’t you say? Her baking is one of the reasons I was so attracted to her in the first place.”
Your roommate nods. Satoru considers taking his leave now, but he has never been in your apartment during the day before. 
He may as well stay a while. It will be fun, he tells himself.
So, he walks into the living room and starts reading the titles of books on the shelving next to your writing desk. A lot of horror and romance books from the looks of it. Classic little you.
He then looks over to your computer. 
“So sweet, like a cupcake,” He touches the top of the laptop, his fingertips tracing the many rainbow stickers that cover it. You really are just the best, aren’t you?
Before he could open it though, he could hear keys jingling. You’re here.
“I’m back–” As if you were a sort of lightbulb running out of power, your cheerfulness declines smoothly and steadily, being quickly replaced by a cute sneer.
Satoru lets out a loud laugh. He adjusts his stance, placing a hand on his waist.
“Ah, [First], honey! Welcome back, I brought you some gifts!”
Instead of responding, you turn to Eve, your scowl turning into a simple frown. Advancing swiftly, you approach her, closing the distance with eyebrows ascending in sudden understanding. Eve, on the other hand, responds by tilting her head to the side, resembling a perplexed canine, in clear bewilderment of your abrupt outburst.
Gently, you grasp her hands within your own.
“Eve, I forgot to tell you something important.” You point at Satoru with a shaky finger. He simply chuckles in response, amused with how quick you are to hide your excitement. “Whatever you do, don’t let him in.”
Eve lets out a sound of surprise. “Huh, what, why?”
Your gaze meets Satoru’s and you look like you could hardly breathe.
“He is a stalker; he is always lying to people and saying that we are dating and are head over heels in love, but don’t believe him one bit.”
His eyes dart across the room as he loses eye contact with you and Eve. All the while, as his head darts from side to side, he pouts, puffs up his cheeks childishly, and leans back slightly against the wall, not too oblivious but subtle to his amusement. His face is a mask of innocence and confusion, trying to appear like he is not aware of what is going on–when he is very much aware of it and is silently enjoying it.
He loudly sighs and rolls his eyes, his hands sliding to his face as he brings them up to cover his sunglasses and mouth. He is trying to hide a smile, the act of which is just too much for his face to handle. He keeps shaking his head in dramatic disbelief and he turns to the side to lean against the wall harder as he puts his head down, shaking his head in exaggerated betrayal. 
Satoru tries his best to not laugh again, it would ruin his marvelous performance.
He is the most captivating person in this room, you and Eve must be hung up on his every action and word, you two cannot look past his incredible acting.
Nobody is capable of acting to the degree that he is, his performances are legendary and his acting skills are unparalleled.
He is simply the best there is and ever will be. If there were a competition in this room to win an Oscar for best acting, he is certain that he would be taking that home. There is nothing on God’s green earth that can get in the way of him delivering these lines and excellent movements. He is so talented and so experienced, who could ever deny his skills?
“Gojo,” You say coldly. “Get out.”
He expects you to see the gifts, how heartbroken he is, and finally admit that you are just as much in love with him as he is with you. Instead, he could swear for a moment that he could hear crickets, before realizing that it is the wick of the candle on your kitchen table burning. As he surveys you and Eve he notices that he is getting no reaction.
“Babe.” When you don’t respond to the nickname, he snuffs a huff. “Stop pretending, okay?”
He thought that he was killing that acting.
He can’t believe that no one is buying his performance. He’s got the attitude, he’s got the swagger, he’s got it all, but neither of you are falling for it. This is just insulting. He knows he’s great, he knows he is delivering the performance of his life but for some reason, neither you nor Eve can see it! He is in absolute shock.
So, Satoru walks up to you and grabs your face.
He looks at Eve and she doesn’t look at him, she looks at you. That is fine, as long as he can still talk to her and you everything will be alright in the long run. Everything is going to be okay, he tells himself.
“Eve, can [First] and I have a few minutes alone?” Her eyes race to every corner of the room and slowly but surely make their way to the gold coins in his free hand. Multiple emotions spread across her face; confusion, greed… consideration. “It will only be for a sec, okay?” 
With a measured pace, Eve approaches his outstretched palm, her eyes fixated on the glistening gold. Her gaze mirrors that of a ravenous crow or a parched man deprived of water for days, or sustenance for weeks. Quivering hands accept the money, and in silence, she retreats to her room, closing the door behind her.
“Come on, drop the funny games,” Instead of directing your gaze towards him, your eyes fixate on the entrance of Eve's bedroom. The door is adorned with a vibrant pink poster of a popular musician, adorned with splashes of colorful paint. Inwardly, he reassures himself that this situation is acceptable. After all, the two of you are now in a private and secluded space. 
There is no longer anyone to hinder you from expressing your genuine emotions towards him. Surely you will finally admit them. Then you will eventually move to his place and stay there, happy and loving towards him at long last. All in due time, because Satoru can be patient when he wants to be.
“Get the fuck out. You sick–”
But now he does not want to be patient. He just wants to hear those words leave your pretty lips.
“Ah, ah, ah, watch your language, sweetie.” He interrupts you, placing a finger on your mouth. 
The mere expression on his countenance carries ample weight to silence your profanity-laden tirade.
He only perceives the captivating, extraordinary, flawless woman whom he is obligated to assist. You possess an excessive amount of independence - too unbound, unwilling to embrace his assistance, his presents, his finances - there exists a rationale why partners watch out for one another. Are you not aware of that? 
“That’s better.” He smiles and you start faking a shiver. “You really can listen when I finally put my foot down, huh? You can be stubborn with other people, you know, just not with me.”
He possesses strength - you lack it. You are so small compared to him. 
He possesses a keen understanding of the streets, while you lack that astuteness. The dress you have chosen to wear is excessively revealing. 
“Now, now, don’t cry. Shh, shh, shh. It was the only way I could see you, with how much you love to play hard to get.”
One can only imagine the number of individuals whom you captivated during the brief period you ventured outside today.
He possesses intelligence, while you lack it. You may believe otherwise, and you indeed excel in certain areas, such as your meticulousness in personal hygiene, which he acknowledges with humility, and your skill in baking, as well as your expertise in creating a cozy and plush bed. However, numerous matters elude your knowledge, such as selecting the right candidate in the upcoming election, performing a tire replacement, or operating a debit card. He is strong, while you are not. He is drawn to you for not being - captivated by your feminine allure; the way your body gently curves, your delicate touch, the fragrance that surrounds you, the melodic tone of your voice, and above all, your complete vulnerability when confronted with danger.
“Now, open your gifts. I did carry them all the way here after all.”
When you finally surrender, he will assume control over every decision you make. 
From selecting your attire to choosing items at the grocery store, he will dictate how you interact with other men and even how you smile. He believes you are incapable of handling even the simplest tasks. Additionally, he takes pleasure in instructing you on matters you are expected to be ignorant about. It's quite endearing, isn't it? 
He views you as his possession and will never, under any circumstances, let you slip away.
At his place, he has so many pretty outfits for you to choose from. A lot of aprons and cute dresses. All the while he downs a beer or seven with his friends and jokes about how nice you look cleaning. You'll listen to him rant about anything that comes into his mind, taking it all with a smile. It is not unusual for him to lay awake at night imagining what life would be like with you as his wife. First, he needs to show you your position as his wife and get rid of this misguided sense of independence you seem to be clinging to. What a dumb girl you are. It was meant to be, wasn't it? You are meant to be his girlfriend and eventually his wife, and you will by any means Satoru has to take.
He does not care what he has to do as long as the result is you finally giving in and loving your place in his arms. It is what you were made for. It is what he was made for.
So pretty. So stupid.
“Now, now. Stop crying, you’ll only ruin your makeup.”
*~*~*~*
On that particular evening, Satoru once again paid a visit to your apartment. However, instead of observing from a distance, he ventured further into the room and settled beside you as you lay in bed, rousing you from your slumber. The bed groaned as it shifted under his weight, and he swiftly covered your mouth to prevent any outcry.
Without hesitation, he gently hushed you, his other hand tracing the contours of your cheek and collarbone with his lengthy fingers. As he did so, he rhythmically caressed your neck, humming a tune that only he knew. In response, tears welled up in your eyes, but he promptly brushed them away. His initial hand soon abandoned its position on your mouth, ascending to tenderly stroke your hair.
"Don’t touch me," You rasped, observing how the moonlight cast an ethereal glow on his body and hair while obscuring his face in darkness.
He simply shushed you again and you could hear him breathing deeply through his nose and mouth.
He sat on his knees beside you. You could hear murmurs from him about how pretty you were, and you didn't know whether he was telling you or telling himself. Your hands clench the sheets in fistfuls. You let out a whimper. You close your eyes and grit your teeth, hoping this is just another bad dream.
He keeps murmuring fantasies. You don't open your eyes. You breathe through your mouth because you can smell his cologne with your nose. It is so strong, suffocating.
You eventually open them when the anxiety is too much, and you stare at him, wide-eyed, at the ceiling above his shoulders and head, at your cute vanity and glittering gold and silver jewelry and pastel clothes. Was that why he liked you so much because you were feminine and utterly defenseless in the face of a real threat? You think of an escape plan, of running to the bathroom grabbing your razor, and screaming at the top of your lungs.
“Such a beauty you are,” He whispered in your ear, his voice still so sticky. “So cute. A doll that only belongs to me. All that’s left is for you to finally accept because I know you want to, don’t you?”
You can’t stop him.
As the silence lingers, you find yourself yielding to the role of his girlfriend. Tear stains dot your pillow and mattress, remnants of your emotional turmoil. Satoru's praises now echo within you, as you surrender to his caresses. Your gaze shifts towards the window, where a few distant stars twinkle in the sky, veiled by a cloud that drapes the crescent moon like a bridal veil.
“So good. I just knew I wouldn’t have to take more… drastic measures.”
He snaps a picture on his phone for later.
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jimmy-j-james · 10 months
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Okay, I have this really long and angsty request for Ghost x male reader. Let me know if you're up for writing it and take as much time as you need, cuz when I say angsty, i mean it.
Ghost and Reader are dating, Reader is the team's chopper pilot and accompanies them on missions, picks them up if things get out of hand, etc. Before being sent on a mission, Ghost and Reader got into an argument about some silly stuff, during which Ghost, being the emotionally constipated man he is, said a lot of hurtful things to his partner. They were ignoring each other during the mission, as Simon was too proud to apologize and admit to his mistakes and feelings.
But then, as Reader was closing in with his helicopter to pick them up for evac, he was shot down and crashed, the pilot later presumed KIA.
Ghost felt guilty, he regretted the things he said and was miserable, as he lost the love of his life. A few months passed, the team helped him get through it. He was still mourning, but his friends made it easier to handle.
After nearly a year since the incident, during a mission, where they had to clear out an underground warehouse and get some important documents, Ghost got separated from the rest. As he tried to find them, he stumbled upon a closed door, with a chain and lock wrapped on its handles. He broke through it and didn't find the documents on the other side, but Reader.
Covered in blood, scars and bruises, handcuffed and hiding in the corner of the room, with a cloth tied around his eyes, shaking and crying as Ghost approached, scared that it was one of the enemy soldiers, about to hurt him.
The rest is up to you, as this is already too long lol. Hope it doesn't violate the rules, love ya!
WHERE THE WILD THINGS GO
- M!reader x Ghost
- Proofread:
- Genre: Angst (non-specified ending, so either angst fully, or angst w/ comfort)
- Synopsis: Request basically covers it. However, I decided to leave the ending more angst-like, though there is no specified ending.
⚠️Warnings: Heavy, detailed gore⚠️
Angst is happily inspired by the song breezeblocks, by Alt-J
@xweirdo101x your angst 🍽
════════════════
“You don’t know what you’re sayin’.” Simon firmly states, squeezing his eyes shut tightly in hopes it would calm his growing headache. This fight had been going on for near an hour now, with himself and his boyfriend, (y/n), fighting about the pilots possible promotion to field work. “It’s not safe for someone like yourself.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, Simon? Am I not capable enough to you?” He snarls in turn, frustrated and upset with the taller male.
“That’s not it! It’s just dangerous. Nothing you’d understand considerin’ your work.” He was far too calm for this argument, only further irking (y/n).
“Considering my work?” He gapes, glaring down at the Brit. “I’m not an idiot. I know the risks! You know what, I don’t see why this is up to you. This is something I want.”
“Fine! Go ahead! Get yourself killed, see if I care!” Simon immediately snaps back, causing (y/n) to flinch back.
It’s silent now. Only the sound of (y/n) holding back his cries, and Simon’s angered pants echoing throughout their quarters. Before the Brit can get the chance to speak, the shorter male is out the door.
“Fuckin’ hell…” Simon groans, taking his seat as he cradles his head in his hands. He had royally fucked up, and that much was clear. But, was he surely in the wrong? (Y/n) had no clue the risk he’d be making if he were to fully place his life on field..
Simon was just looking out for him. He clearly knew what was better for the man’s life. Why wouldn’t he listen..?
════════════════
The argument had clearly done damage, having the two avoid each other these past few days. (Y/n) had been happily spending his time with Gaz, a close friend of his.
Of course, it didn’t go unnoticed by Simon, who scowled at the sight. Gaz meant well, he knew that, but in the time where he couldn’t get the attention of his own boyfriend, it was irking.
“Keep glarin’ like that and ye’ll burn holes into ‘is head, Lt.” Soap comments teasingly, though he immediately backs down as he’s treated with a similar glare. “What’s got yer knickers in a twist?”
“(Y/n) and I had a fight.” He states plainly, his eyes glueing back onto the man’s figure.
“A fight? Jesus Ghost, the two of you’ll be back together in not time.” He chuckles, clearly not understanding the severity of said fight.
“I said things I didn’t mean to… practically told ‘im I didn’t care if he died..” He pauses, taking in a sharp inhale, his eyes still refusing to move from the other “I didn’t mean it.. I just worry… I don’t- I can’t lose him.”
“Why don’t you tell him that after the mission, ay? I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, Lt. You’re both just confused, love-sick kids.” Soap chuckles, nudging into the male with a bright flashy grin.
Ghost doesn’t reply verbally, but instead nods. His eyes finally manage to break free, moving to look towards Soap. “Alright. After the mission.”
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The given intel had been faulty, leaving Price to desperately call in for an evacuation as his men fought for their lives. “Captain,” (y/n)‘s voice eagerly calls through the radio, his words choppy due to the propellers of his aircraft “heard you needed some air support.”
“(C/n)! Glad to hear your voice, you daft muppet.” The captain teases in turn, glad to have his most trustworthy pilot ready.
“Gonna need you lot to get to a higher point, let’s say.. the water tower.” He grins behind his headset, knowing it wasn’t the most practical point, but who was he if he didn’t enjoy a little danger?
“On it.” Price returns, making a move to examine the area for said tower. “You heard ‘im boys, make it to the evac point, preferably without scratches.”
(Y/n) cackles, eagerly aiding them with few assisting shots. “Try not and get yerself killed, lad!” Soap, just as chaotic, shouts back through his own radio, watching the hefty aircraft glide through the skies.
It’s all fun and games to him, the typical action of attempting tricks with his plane, shooting down at those least expecting of him, and causing absolute misery for his team that prayed for their own safety.
It’s the point of which the team is at the water tower, and when he goes to pick up his boys, he finds himself panicked.
He’s been shot at. Multiple times, nonetheless, and it leaves him crawling down into a nearby forest. A plane on fire and only himself to try and safe him from death.
════════════════
“(Y/n)!” Ghost shouts out, watching as his lover is shot from the sky. His eyes wide as he sees the aircraft go down, followed by dark hues of smoke and a large fire starting up in the forest nearby. “We have to go for him, Price! We can’t just leave ‘im there!” He begs and pleas, looking to the captain hopefully, only to see the man shake his head.
“You know we can’t. That’s one life over multiple.” He strictly states, already calling in for a backup evac.
Ghost panics, frantically trying to push past to climb down the tower. He’s held back by Soap and Gaz, and despite them being just as upset, they knew the captain was right. One life lost was better than all of their lives.
“N-No! We can’t leave him! Don’t leave him! Price- we can still get him!” He cries out, desperately trying to escape their grasps. “Don’t let him die! I don’t- can’t lose him! Please..” Shouts turn to choked out sobs.
It’s out character. To see the Ghost sobbing and begging like a toddler pleading for a toy. He looks absolutely broken. Having lost everything yet again. A cruel joke from God.
He practically dies as he sees the explosion. It shakes the ground a little, and the small wooded area lights up with ash and fire. He gives up, dropping his weight into the two sergeants as he simply stares. He stares in horror and remorse.
He never got to apologize. He’ll never get to apologize.
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Months had passed. Ghost a broken man, a shell of what he had so generously built up to be.
He refused to speak.. refused to eat and sleep. Most hours of the day spent drinking or lying in bed without thought.
The team often trying to aid him. To provide the comfort he so desperately craved.. but nothing compared to the warm embrace of his lover that he oh so desperately needed.
Why hadn’t he just apologized and admitted fault..? Why hadn’t he just been a better lover?!? Fuck! Why hadn’t he just left the pilot alone in the first place? Nothing good came to those he loved..
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His pained breaths echo throughout the cell, wheezing and hissing in pain as he’s beaten black and blue. He’s drenched in various substances, alcohol, water, and even his own blood. Multiple forms of torture having taken place throughout the weeks.
He’s not sure how much longer he’ll live, nor does he know if his team would ever find him. He was on his own, alone and injured.
“Are you going to speak yet?” His captor scowls, holding his head up with a tight grasp to his hair.
(Y/n) only stays silent, his eyes rolling back in a dazed state. It seems to displease the other, earning him another hit to the gut, his head being thrown back before he’s spat on.
“Filthy rat.” He hisses out, turning to a small table of many surgical tools. The man holds up a pair of heavy duty scissors, a sinister smile on his face as he tauntingly tilts his head. He holds the scissors up to (y/n)’s hand, catching over two fingers. “You won’t be needing these anymore, now will you?”
There’s no time to reply, the blades slicing down to meet, clean through his fingers as he shouts in pain. He bites down on his bottom lip, holding back any noises as he stares at the stumps of fingers in pure horror.
“Are you going to speak now? Or should I take more?” He snarls, dipping the man’s hand into a glass of alcohol. A process he had done with every new wound. It earns a meek and choked whimper from the other, but he continues to stay mute.
He’s almost grown fond of the way his blood circulates the golden hue of whiskey. A cruel reminder that he was still alive and bleeding for the time being.
How long until they grew tired and killed him..? How long until Simon found him?
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Within the eighth month, Simon grew back into old habits. Requesting that he leave on a solo mission. And Price agreed. He gifted the lieutenant with a simple task for starting. A quick in and out of gathering intel.
He took the task with hopes. Praying that an overload of work would help him forget. Help him bury the past away and prevent these hauntings.
And so, he prepared to leave within the next few days..
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(Y/n)’s head lolls of onto his shoulder, expression glum and bloodied as he looks to his captor with amusement. His silence taunting, and he simply stares. It clearly angers the man, earning him another bone cracking hit.
It’s not a long break, having his hair roughly pulled at, head being forced back into place. Dazed eyes meet fierce ones. His captor scowling, a ghastly expression.
“Such a fuckin’ tough guy, ey?” He spits, grabbing some sort of pliers. A sadistic look crossing his eyes as he brings the tool towards his face. “See how fucking tough you are when I break you piece by piece.”
The pliers make contact with his eye, a discomforting touch at first, though slowly growing into a searing pain. He screams and thrashes in an instinctive panic. The tool works with ease, wiggling about within his socket, loosening his eye before pulling it right from its place within his skull.
(Y/n) is a sobbing, panting mess. His face far more blood soaked, and lack of eye nothing but a pulsating pain. He’s not sure how much more he could handle.
Yet desperately, despite his pains, he silently prays. Prays for his teams rescue. He knows they’re coming. They have to be! But yet, he can only hope.
════════════════
The warehouse is of easy access. A likeable cause that word of his presence got around, leaving for the group of terrorist to leave in a hurry.
It made the task easy. All he had to do now was seek out the documents he was sent for. But.. he stops in place, tensing where he stands. An eerie, yet familiar sound, calling out to taunt him.
Faint, broken sobs echo throughout the silent building. The sounds playing from beneath the floor. Beneath Simon’s feet.
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He’s far too gone. Sitting in a haze of pain and delusion. He prays over and over again. Begging for an escape, so be it death.
And when footsteps echo from above his abused body, he desperately sobs in hopes his saviour would hear him. His state of delusional thoughts leading him to believe it was an angel.. one here to take away his suffering.
He’d been alone in this room for near a day now, having been left behind as the group fled in panic. And no matter if this sudden appearance was good or bad, he planned to be found.
════════════════
Ghost is quick to act, searching out for the specific hatch. And he’s thankful it’s rather obvious. A small door hidden beneath a carpet, leading down to a door, seemingly a basement.
As he reveals the door, the cries grow louder. His body moving on its own as he rushes forward, hastily kicking down the door.
The the smell alone is awful, having him gag and grimace. But the sight.. his heart drops down, and his throat tightens into a panic.
Within the middle of the room, tied to a chair, his assumed K.I.A lover sits; beaten and broken, sobbing pathetically as his head hangs low.
“(Y/n)..” His words a hoarse cry, immediately rushing to free the man. He’s quick yet cautious, calling in for immediate pickup, alongside medical aid.
“Shh, it’s okay now luv.. gonna get you cleaned up.. fix you up, yeah?” He mumbles and soothes, rocking the wounded man within his arms. Though his words act as more a promise to himself than to the boy. “Don’t leave me.. please don’t go..”
He’s a mess himself, panicked and cautious as he holds the boy like he was broken glass. “Oh dove.. what have they done to you?” Simon whispers, noting his injuries as he rushes outside to try and get to the evac point. “Just stay with me.. stay awake luv.”
“Come on, just a little bit more..” he desperately pleas, practically stumbling along with how eager he is to rescue the boy.
And he does it, he gets to the aircraft, passing off his near dead lover to the many doctors. They work quick to hook him up to many machines, and the plane takes off..
It’s a blur of panic and desperation to keep him alive. Something Ghost himself isn’t sure of, considering his state of being. The heart monitors constantly changing.. too low, too high, normal, and repeat..
His body lies limp on a stretcher. And with a closer look at the damages done, Simon can only think..
He should have just apologized. Told (y/n) he loved him, that he was okay with the man joining the field… fuck..
He should have just been a better lover.
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All rights reserved
do not copy/paste, claim as your own, post on different sites, or translate without prior consent from me
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twitchylittlelamb · 2 months
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purplekissinger · 3 months
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deardiarydeardiarydeardiary
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Y/N's been acting strange lately. She may contain the urge to run away, but Tom holds her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks.
🎵alt-J - Breezeblocks🎵
TW: manipulation, mental disorder themes. This is a full blown angst.
The cover: smooth, soft, fine leather. It feels nice to run your hand over it and you do it from time to time. Sometimes it feels warm. The corners: gold, darkened with age. They taste slightly salty (yes, you chewed them at some point, let's not talk about that). The paper: rough, thick, slightly yellow, clean pages like muddy water (there should be a bottom somewhere, but it’s not visible). Tom: soothing, gentle, funny, sympathetic, loving, the best, scary, all-knowing, affectionate, scary, witty, did I mention ‘scary’?
“Nothing special happened today,” you wrote and paused, thinking about your next sentence. He will know if you lie, he has proven it too many times. It's better to  switch the topic quickly. “There is a small problem with the task on potions, maybe you can help me?..”.
Sometimes you use ellipses when talking to him. Poke, poke, poke. Writing lacks the timid intonation so you draw it with dots.
Tom doesn't buy it.
“And what was not special that happened today?”
You began to sleep worse and eat less.
‘Y/N, are you okay?’ - asks someone to your right. It takes you a second to realize that you are sitting at a table in the Great Hall and it’s unbearably noisy here. It takes two more seconds to turn your unseeing gaze to the girl on the right (is that Mary? Mary what’shername? Mary MacDonald? Do we know each other? Why is she talking to me? How did I end up here?).
“Yes, everything is great,” you smile weakly. “I’ll just grab something to eat and it will be even better.”
The plate in front of you is empty. Mary's face is distorted by some kind of emotion, and it takes you another three seconds to recognize pity and disgust in it.
“Molly Prewett said I've been weird lately.”
Molly Prewett said she's already seen you in that shirt for several days in a row. Molly Prewett said your eye is twitching. Molly Prewett said you scream at night.
“Molly Prewett? That fat red-haired girl?” - you can almost see his mocking smile through the pages, and you immediately feel better, as if the invisible fingers squeezing your throat have slightly loosened their grip. “Y/N, dear, please don’t say that she actually managed to hurt your feelings. You do realize why she says that, right? You are the most beautiful and the smartest girl in Hogwarts, and this ugly bitch is simply dying of envy. Damn, I'm dying of self-envy. I’m the luckiest bastard ever to know you. It's a pleasure talking with you. You yourself are a pleasure. Of course, she is jealous, the whole of Hogwarts is crazy about you, otherwise they are just blind. Do you have a mirror in your room right now? Come on, look in it. There’s a princess living in your mirror, go check yourself!”
In your mirror lives a princess who has lain in a coffin for a hundred years. Hair tangled, eyes dull, sweater inside out.
You walk along the corridor,  moving your feet mechanically. You won't be able to remember what lesson is next on the schedule even if your life depends on it. Your peripheral vision has gone and all sounds seem to be distant as if there were cotton wool in your ears. Step. Step. Step. Step.
“Tom, this is just wonderful! I struggled over this essay for two hours, and you sorted it out in no time. Wait, don’t remove the solution yet, I’ll copy it…”
“Take your time, honey. I want my best girl to study well.”
Last week, for the first time in your life, you got a Troll in Transfiguration, which you used to love. You simply went to the pulpit and stood there with an absent look for two minutes. After class, professor McGonagall touches your elbow gently.
“Miss L/N, if you feel like you need to talk, I’m always ready to listen to you,” she says almost in a whisper. It's the warmest tone she can muster, but you already have someone always ready to listen.
“y/n sunshine my beloved dear y/n y/n y/n y/n i love you so please don’t go y/n y/n y/n if you have a heart you won’t leave me you're such a kind girl y/n you won't leave me here you'll help me you'll talk to me you'll love me you'll help me i believe y/n y/n y/n you're the best in the world if i find out that you told someone you’re dead dead dead dead dead dead you don’t know what i can do what i’m capable of you can’t escape me you’ll rot in azkaban forever if you tell anyone y/n don’t even think of that y/n you’re my sunshine you open the diary and i can breathe again i breathe you i live by you i will die without you don’t leave me help me i’m begging you i love you so i love you so”.
Choking with sobs, you look at the jumping lines. The pages are wet from your tears.
“What do you want me to do, Tom?”
It’s 3 a.m. You haven't slept for two days. How are you still able to write? How are you still able to think?
“The toilet is on the third floor. Write me when you get there.”
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cannibalovers · 2 months
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Hannibal song of the day : song no. 5
a bit about the song:
"Breezeblocks"(released in 2012) is song by alt-J, written by Thom Sonny Green, Gwilym Sainsbury, Gus Unger-Hamilton & Joe Newman(the whole group), most likely their most popular song. It starts off mellow and quiet guitar, interchanging between build ups and drops with synthesisers and a lot of deep bass, drums and other percussion instruments till the end of the song, which ends with an arrangement of overlapping vocals, like a choir. It fits genres like indie rock, indie pop, art rock and folktronica. The song itself tells a story of two lovers, where one of them wants to leave the relationship, feeling unsafe and unfulfilled but the other is obsessive and deranged and so in love that they don't let the other leave, the desire and love being so strong that they dare to hurt their lover and themselves just to make them stay. There can be another meaning to the song when taking the music video into the account(that the group themselves said is kind of different but managed to fit the vibe), which is filmed in reverse, presenting a narrative where a man kills a woman(maybe an ex or smth) who was most likely keeping his wife hostage. Since the chain of events is presented in reverse, it looks as if the man is the abusive lover trying to kill his wife, although by the end we find out he was actually defending his wife and killed the woman that kidnapped his wife, sending a message to not judge a book by its cover - don't assume and judge until you know the full story. It also references a book "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak, talking about a young boy who misbehaved badly at home and got scolded for it. His hostile and intense emotions sent him to an imaginary jungle with creatures called "The Wild Things". In this world, he feels appreciated and powerful as the wild things make him a king, but as soon as he realises the responsibilities a king has are hard, he wants to leave and go back home, to his loving mother who took care of him and coudl depend on, but the creatures don't want him to leave, threatening cannibalism (woah i wonder why I am writing this), saying "Oh, please don’t go! We’ll eat you whole! We love you so!". The band thought of it as a very powerful image and referenced these words in the song. In the end, the boy does manage to get away, unlike the lover of this song.
yeah sorry for the long intro to the song um. i've loved this song for years I swear I could listen to it forever so.
overall the song creates such a chilling mix between aggression and affection it's just so fucking insane and well. very hannigram. I think that was expected. Tbh i feel like it's prob known to fannibals, i made a post once asking ppl for song recommendations for hannibal and this song has shown up a few times and honestly? it fits them SO. WELL. especially when you think about the whole mizumono episode. The music video reminded me of mizumono a lot... so I'll be basing this on that episode a lot...
Pardon me for the pain i'm gonna provide today<3
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Verse 1
"She may contain the urge to run away But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks"
The girl doesn't want to be in the relationship with the man anymore, maybe recognizing that he is not in a good state of mind or she just believes they're not fit for each other anymore, whichever it is, she is contemplating getting out of the relationship, which she feels trapped in, or the man feels like he's scaring her away, hence her "running away"; He doesn't like this, being way too attached for her, he can't just let her run away after the comfort she brought him and the strong emotions he developed towards her, so he decided to weigh her down (literally) by drowning her with breezeblocks. Metaphorically, Breezeblocks are blocks used for building houses and are supposed to represent foundation here, so perhaps he has been making her stay by guilt tripping her about everything that they have built together and the fact that she can't just "leave behind" the trust, support, stability and safety that they have gained from each other - the foundation of their relationship. After she wasn't giving her idea of leaving up, he decided to actually weight her down with their foundation in forms of breezeblocks. In my eyes, the soggy clothes could also have a little bit of meaning, soggy clothes being quite uncomfortable and probably clinging to her(just like he does) - perhaps they're soggy from the times he was guilt tripping her, perhaps tears were shed and her clothes getting soggy just represent the manipulation and fakeness of them, or the severity of the situation and how long it has been going on and how this has affected her (made her feel heavy at heart and uncomfortable)
I think these lyrics summarise THE monologue in Mizumono and hannigram's plans quite perfectly. Will wanting to run away (from hannibal unfortunately...) and as Hannibal realised his plan of betrayal, reacted very aggressively by literally gutting him (sogging his clothes with blood ig) and breaking down the foundation they have built, more or so with words, but also the knife he uses. At this point I have no idea if its a linoleum knife (knife used for building, houses, rugs and FOUNDATIONS OF A BUILDING.) or a kerambit or smth else but I'll stick to the linoleum here(also check out this post about his choice for the knife, it drives me fucking insane) and say that this is how Hannibal tears down the foundation they have built together. Not only does he gut him, he talks to Will about how betrayed he feels that he was planning to leave him, after letting Will see him, after building this foundation of trust and support for each other. Hannibal was there, understanding Will and offering support and stability and he saw that Will could provide it for him back, which he chose to do only to get closer to him to betray him and take away his happiness (Will...) and stable, carefully crafted life he had. Will was something very important to Hannibal, a person that changed him and made him feel love for once, and then he lied about accepting him. He can't handle losing Will so he would make him stay and tear him down, hurt him, if that's what it would take.
"Cetirizine, your fever’s gripped me again Never kisses, all you ever send are fullstops (La la la la)"
Citrizine is a medicine used for fevers, suggesting the man is so obsessed with her that she makes him ill and stressed (overheated and overwhelmed and overthinking, hence the fever) and he needs medicine. She is constantly rejecting him, rejecting his affections and never giving any to him but instead stopping him, although it can also allude to texts, her not ending them with "xx" (kisses) but with full stops, being quite cold and distant with him.
well first, for the show it can allude to how Hannibal literally gave Will a fever and the amount of aspirin Will took cuz of that if we take this literally, but that mean the roles would have to switch so, instead in my eyes I think of how bothered and overwhelmed Will probably made Hannibal feel the more interested and obsessive he got over Will. I can't imagine how many times this man probably thought of him everyday and overthought stuff (jesus seriously hes obsessed) and how ill and diseased (although alive) Hannibal probably felt (maybe diseased and ill after he knew Will's plan...); the affections the girl is rejecting from her lover could represent how distant Will was with Hannibal at first.
"Do you know where the wild things go? They go along to take your honey (La la la la)"
This is a reference from the book "Where the Wild Things Are". The band suggested that the lyrics are about jealousy, the protagonist being jealous of other people who are catching his lovers attention instead of him, maybe this is a conversation between them about this concern, telling his lover that those people are bad and will use her and leave her(take away her honey); Maybe he's trying to convince her that he would never do that - although he technically is, eating away at whatever support and love(the honey) she has to offer for him.
I feel like this presents why Hannibal decided to isolate Will in the first place, taking away everything from him (or at least how he wants Will to see it, as we know that he was just trying to make his plan come true and return some of the things Will cared about so much). He saw everything that Will had interest in (Alana, Abigail, although he kept her for Will, Margot's child etc) as a threat to his plan of having Will all to himself and so he took them away - because he believed that they were both bad for Will but also because they were not in Hannibal's best interest. Also doesn't he like kill Will's wife in season 3 idk yet dont tell me
"Break down, now weep, build up breakfast Now let’s eat, my love, my love, love, love (La la la la)"
This probably references the many fights the couple had and protagonist's method of trying to make it up to her by trying to get back into a loving, normal routine, forgetting the fights, doing things such as letting her sleep it off and making a breakfast, starting the day over - The breakfast being his love for her. This is most likely to say that acts of service for her would be his love language and he would feel loved if she accepted his services, as well as offerings(his love) he makes for her.
for Hannibal:
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do i like. have to explain this one
first of all lets be real cooking and making ppl commit accidental cannibalism is his love language (even better when they are aware of it and accept it knowingly so u dont have to make them commit accidental cannibalism to feel like u're normal for enjoying it and ure not a monster and God didn't punish u by making u eat ur own sister and enjoy it and that they accept and understand u for this and are def not doing it as a manipulation tactic to get u closer to them... that's not smth Will would do to Hannibal wdym)
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Chorus
"Muscle to muscle and toe to toe The fear has gripped me, but here I go My heart sinks as I jump up Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut And I, ah-ah-ah-ah"
The chorus seems to depict the the physical fight going between the two lovers. The protagonist doesn't seem to be in his right mind as he says that even though the fear tried to stop him, he has lost control and is now hurting his loved one (or himself) - His fear of rejection making him not handle this situation well and taking the last leap of faith to "save" the relationship by physically forcing her into it. The harm can either be to himself or her, maybe threatenening suicide and her gripping his hand to stop him, or him hitting her and her trying to deflect his hand with her own.
For Hannibal, it's literally,,gutting Will. Or any physical fight or holding each other at gun point or any murder attempt they had. In mizumono, Hannibal is visibly heartbroken by Will's decisions, maybe regretting the choices hes about to take. Maybe for once he felt some fear hurting another person, the person being Will, but he pushes through it, knowing it had to be done, to show Will how he made him feel. The physical contact in this chorus could represent the hug that they shared (the most heartbreaking hug in tv history). His feelings seem to contrast with the violence in that scene so much it makes me so fucking depressed
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Verse 2
"[...}She bruises, coughs, she splutters pistol shots Hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks"
The words have a violent imagery to them, maybe to show the lover fighting back and still not agreeing to stay, maybe even trying to hurt him, her words feeling like pistol shots to him, or it could represent her drowning, trying to catch a breath. If that's what is happening, then he tries to remind himself of his point and to not help her, because she will run away - it's better to hold her down and make her stay.
Will's most common weapons is a gun or his hands and words, so i guess it fits his image quite well(not to mention the amounts of time he held Hannibal at gun point lol). These clearly never seemed to have affected Hannibal (until the last supper) and he continues through with his plan of taking everything away from Will, showing what he has lost by not staying by Hannibal's side.
"She’s morphine, queen of my vaccine My love, my love, love, love (La la la la)"
The protagonist compares her to morphine, a drug used to help with pain - clearly he is very dependent on her and uses her for emotional stability and support, losing that would make him insecure and breakdown, he can't lose her after the vulnerability he shared with her. This also fits with the expression "Love is a drug", which to him, her love is clearly like a drug, he has become obsessed, needing her love all the time, addicted to her, suggesting the intensity of emotions she makes him feel and just how obsessed he is - that's why he can't let her go.
The contrast between the dark, violent and destructive comparisons he makes of her, ignoring those destructive feelings and calling her his "love" really deepens the juxtaposition between aggression and affection the song potrays and shows just how blind the protagonist is.
I feel like this fits Hannibal's feelings about Will quite well, considering how obsessed he is with him, to the point of destruction and isolating him to have him all to himself (and also the fact that my man was CRYING after putting Will in prison, missing their therapy sessions. LIKE BITCH). He really puts Will high up on a pedestal, suggesting just how important and addictive Will is to him and how dependent he has become on Will after opening up to him, maybe even feeling like Will numbs his pain and loneliness of never being accepted for who he actually was.
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Verse 3
"[...]Germolene, disinfect the scene, my love, my love, love, love But please don't go, I love you so, my lovely"
This is the aftermath of the protagonist killing his lover. He realises that he killed her, getting an anticeptic(clearly unprepared for this and panicking, using some at-home antiseptic instead of something proper) to disinfect the scene off of his DNA. The realisation quickly hits him of what he has done, making him spiral into a breakdown as he realises that his actions didn't make her stay, they made her dead forever.
Hannibal clearly doesn't disinfect the scene in mizumono, he doesn't even wear his plastic suit or use the cloth that he always uses to not leave finger prints, there was no point in hiding anything anymore, Will helped FBI see through him, although we do see him "cleansing" himself off of the events by walking in the rain and trying to "comfort" Will, telling him to "wade into the quiet of the stream". I don't think these specific lyric apply to the situation much disinfection-wise, although it can represent Hannibal's state of mind, especially after realising everything he has done and the regret that came with it(does he feel guilty tho? i have no idea but the begging and love confessions in this line def represent his obsession and love for Will which left him very heartbroken after everything that was done)
also could represent Will........ him wanting to turn back, if he could only reverse time, undo the events so Abigail lives and everyone else lives..............ouch
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Refrain
"Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please break my heart (Hey!) Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please break my heart[...]"
the most beautiful part of the song in my opinion tbh. The layers, the build up, the overlapping vocals, it's all just so overwhelming and emotional and vulnerable.
the protagonist spirals, realising what he has done but not wanting it to be true, he's not ready yet to let go of his lover, slowly, he's losing self control and giving into his violent desires, he threatens cannibalism if she goes away(she can't really do anything my dude...) as he frantically confessse to her that he loves her. He just loves her so much and needs her so much, the desire is so strong that he will consume her if it means that she stays right beside him(or inside him), craving that impossible closeness, it's a way to forever remain with a loved one. This whole refrain is just so incredibly contradicting and depressing and desparate its insane
now, it's no secret that Hannibal doesn't want to let Will go and even consume him. He wants him to live but at the same time he wants to taste him, devour him. To love is to consume, but to consume is to devour and transform in reusable energy. He wants him as close as possible and for Will to accept his desires and give himself up, let him be his - but clearly that's not what Will wanted (yet).
...This one is so straightfoward especially considering Hannibal that I don't even know what to say really. The song itself just says it all perfectly.
in conclusion they are fucking insane for this and breezeblocks is the ultimate hannigram (specifically mizumono) song. 11/10
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additional notes:
was so excited for this one but i actually wrote less than i thought wow but maybe thats also cuz most of the song repeats. or im tired
idk if its cuz i literally dont know how to explain cannibalism as a metaphor of love or why but. at the same time the song just describes pretty well on its own
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my playlist
hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading<3
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silasbug · 2 years
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genuinely sad that i don’t practice on my ukulele more. it’s such a cute, sweet, innocent and simple instrument. i haven’t picked it up in months, yet was able to immediately pick up the chords for a song i’ve been wanting to play because. four strings?? so smoll.
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j0eyj0rdis0n · 7 months
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SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF THE CREEPS
with playlists (ofc)
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MASKY
Happy Pills - Weathers
Heavydirtysoul - Twenty One Pilots
Trouble - Cage the Elephant
Morph - Twenty one Pilots
Down In A Hole - Alice in Chains
Numb - Linkin Park
Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park
This Is How I Disappear - My Chemical Romance
Stalker - Badflower
Duality - Set It Off
HOODIE
Another Way Out - Hollywood Undead
Fairly Local - Twenty One Pilots
Message Man - Twenty One Pilots
Sucker for Pain - Various Artists
My Blood - Twenty One Pilots
Cut My Lip - Twenty One Pilots
Breezeblocks - altJ
Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met…) - Panic! At The Disco
Hypnotized - Set It Off
Church - Fall Out Boy
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“TICCI” TOBY
Don’t You Dare Forget The Sun - Get Scared
Medicine - Hollywood Undead
I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead - Set It Off
Pain - Three Days Grace
Keep Myself Alive - Get Scared
Never Too Late - Three Days Grace
Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace
Horrible Kids - Set It Off
Mama - My Chemical Romance
Back from the Dead - Skillet
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CLOCKWORK
Shatter Me - Lindsey Sterling, Lizzy Hale
Decode - Paramore
I’m So Sick - Flyleaf
I Miss the Misery - Halestorm
Enemy - Imagine Dragons, JID
Playground - Bea Miller
Catch Me If You Can - Set It Off
Ironic - Alanis Morissette
Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac
Body Talks - The Struts, Kesha
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EYELESS JACK
From The Ground - Hollywood Undead
Get Out Alive - Three Days Grace
Monster - Skillet
Dead Bite - Hollywood Undead
The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy
My Demons - STARSET
Sarcasm - Get Scared
Pet - A Perfect Circle
Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park
Twisted Transistor - Korn
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JEFF THE KILLER
Chalk Outline - Three Days Grace
So Called Life - Three Days Grace
I Can’t Decide - Scissor Sisters
Killer - The Ready Set
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) - Marilyn Manson
Kill Everyone - Hollywood Undead
A Little Piece of Heaven - Avenged Sevenfold
To Catch a Predator - Insane Clown Posse
Dark Side - Blind Channel
Just Pretend - Bad Omens
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JANE THE KILLER
Bring Me To Life - Evanescence
Damage - Fit For Rivals
Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge
Tourniquet - Marilyn Manson
Unbreakable - Fireflight
I’m Gonna Show You Crazy - Bebe Rexha
Hit and Run - LOLO
Get Jinxed - Djerv
La Seine - Vanessa Paradis
Let’s Kill Tonight - Panic! At The Disco
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NINA THE KILLER
Heather - Conan Gray
Get Well - Icon For Hire
Oh No! - MARINA
Pretty Little Psycho - Porcelain Black
Partners in Crime - Set It Off, Ash Costello
Backstabber - Kesha
DONTTRUSTME - 3OH!3
You’re So Creepy - Ghost Town
This Little Girl - Cady Groves
Guys My Age - Hey Violet
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BEN DROWNED
Turbulent - Waterparks
Pretty Fly (For A White Guy) - The Offspring
Dirty Mind - 3OH!3
Riot - Hollywood Undead
oops! - Yung Gravy
Fashionably Late - Falling In Reverse
parents - YUNGBLUD
Hell of a Ride - Bo Burnham
Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer
Bad Girls Club - Falling In Reverse
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SALLY WILLIAMS
Hayloft - Mother Mother
Tag, You’re It - Melanie Martinez
Little Game - Benny
Teen Idle - MARINA
Where Do I Go - Anna Blue
Silent Scream - Anna Blue
Lolita - Lana Del Rey
Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez
All The Things She Said - Poppy
Burning Pile - Mother Mother
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starbaby-7 · 2 months
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My list of songs so Hannigram coded it’s insane and the lyrics that make them so:
Salt in the Wound- Boygenius
‘You put salt in the wound, and a kiss on my cheek. You butter me up and you sit down to eat’
‘Neck full of mockingbirds all calling your name…I’m gnashing my teeth like a child of Cain’
I’m Your Man- Mitski
‘You’re an Angel, I’m a dog. Or you’re a dog and I’m you’re man. You believe me like a God, I destroy you like I am.’
‘I’m sorry I’m the one you love, no one will ever love me like you again so when you leave me I should die. I deserve it don’t I?’
Famous Last Words (an Ode to Eaters) - Ethel Cain
‘Look at me baby, dead in my eyes. It’s the end of our holiday, but it isn’t goodbye. Carry me with you all of the time.’
‘Eat of me baby, skin to the bone. Body on body until I’m all gone. But I’m with you inside.’
It Will Come Back- Hozier
All I’m gonna say is first verse is Hannibal POV, second is Will POV talking to eachother I could write a damn essay on this song and Hannigram
Shrike- Hozier
‘The words hung above, but never would form. Like a cry at the final breathe that is drawn. Remember me love, when I am reborn as the Shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn.’
‘Had no idea on the ground i was founded, oh that goodness is gone with you now. Then I met you, my virtues uncounted. My goodness is goin with you now.’
‘Back to the hedgerow where the bodies are mounted’
Abbey- Mitski
‘I am hungry, I have been hungry, I was born hungry, what do I need?’
Butchered Tongue- Hozier
This one I think is Will when he married Molly and settling into his new life but still looking for Hannibal in everything.
UPDATE:
Talk- Hozier
Once again getting into the Greek mythology themes and Hannigram parallels. Orpheus and Eurydice as Will and Hannibal haunts me.
‘I’d be the immediate in Eurydice, imagine being loved by me.”
Paralleled with the scenes of Hannibal and Wills seperate “I forgive you”.
Me and My Husband - Mitski
‘At least in this lifetime we’re sticking together.’
This is a little cracky, but this song reminds me of the way Hannibal and Will are chasing potentials and scenarios where they can stay together. Teacups and all that and yes the world is on fire but Hannibal and Will are together so it’s okay.
Breezeblocks- alt-j
Enough said.
NFWMB - Hozier
‘Give your heart and soul to charity. Because the rest of you, the best of you Honey belongs to me.’
The possessiveness of Hannibal and Will over eachother is insane, we know this. And I think people forget that Will is just as bad as Hannibal about it. (Just see any interaction between Bedelia and Will for evidence)
OKAY OKAY THATS IT IF YOU STAYED THIS LONG THANKS IF YOU WANT MORE HANNIGRAM LISTEN TO MY PLAYLIST ITS CHALK FULL OF ANGST
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jacevelaryonswife · 1 year
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Please don’t go, I love you so, my lovely | Part two
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Your brain has issued an urgent command to get away from him. He didn't deserve a second chance. But there was something, somewhere, that gave in to the touch and comfortable words that Aemond afforded to you.
pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader
a/n: I try to make my stories/headcanons interactive to the fullest (as far as possible). The reader is the daughter of a lord of one of the great houses of Westeros, feel free to imagine yours. Also, I will not detail the appearance of the reader.
warnings: slight angst. Happy ending. English is not my first language, sorry for possible mistakes. Aemond is over 18 years old here.
inspired by breezeblocks — alt j
For: @faces-ofvenus @jojosyla
Part one.
“I wouldn't expect anything else, my love.”
My love.
Run away. Run away now.
You brain issued an urgent command to get away from him. He didn't deserve a second chance. But there was something, somewhere, that yielded to the touch and the comforting words Aemond confided to you. That old feeling. The same feeling that made you place your hand over his and gaze at the soft blue iris in front of you for long seconds. No, don't give in. Your eyes closed as you lowered your head, taking a deep breath to dispel any impulse that drew you to him.
He dared to let go of your hand and gently cup the other side of your face, warm hands enveloping and subtly caressing your cheeks. Look at me. He almost pleaded vocally.
You looked at him, mouth opening intentionally. He was so beautiful. His lips so pink and inviting...
Run away.
“I will think about your proposal, my prince. Goodnight."
You left him at high speed, taking a deep breath as you returned to your family.
Why?
Moments ago you were irreducible about the possibility of forgiving Aemond, and now, a part of your barrier has been broken. But in what sense was the rupture? Externally or internally? Did you let him melt a part of the wall that surrounded your heart or did your own nostalgia cling to what was already felt? You don’t know. And it consumes you for the next few days to the point where you can't fully enjoy your family's company. Even though you try vehemently throughout the remaining days, a fraction of your attention turns to your prince's words. Aemond can be many things, a liar is not one of them — and even if your hurt doesn't entirely let, you knew it. Queen Alicent also knew, so although she tries to hide her intentions at first, she intervenes for her son when she enters your chambers.
“I must say it was a nice surprise to see Aemond's intention to marry you, you've always been close despite the estrangement in recent years.” She commented quietly, watching your restless reaction. “My son has always cherished affection and friendship for you.”
“And yet, suddenly, he decided not to nurture either of them anymore.” You countered, standing up, looking out the window at the streets of King's Landing. “He never stopped caring about you, my dear.”
“I doubt it, my queen.”
“Do you consider accepting the request?”
“I… I'm thinking. But I don't know if I should. I think if it weren't for Lord Tarlly's words or my intention to return home, Aemond would continue to treat me with silence. I think he just acted that way out of fear of losing me.”
"Indeed." The queen walked over to stand beside you, holding your hands as confidants often do. She wasn't your confidant, but she knew how to get a reaction. “He was afraid of losing you. Sometimes we need to go through certain situations to realize who our heart belongs to.”
“I’m afraid it is too late, your grace.”
“You know you can come home whenever you want, your family being here doesn't make this the only opportunity.” She assured, taking you by surprise. “I will see to your return myself.”
“Would you do that, my queen?”
“Of course, my dear, I wish your happiness.”
Looking away again, you gazed at the last trace of sunlight from your bedroom window. “That is not the main problem, your grace.”
“He hurt me. He hurt me and I don't know if I can forgive him." Confessed.
“When people we love hurt us, it usually takes time to heal.” She gently squeezed your hands, urging your attention. “I'm not just speaking as a mother or queen who has always supported your friendship with Prince Aemond, but as a friend who believes you should stay. Give him one chance, think about it.”
If Aemond haunted a fraction of your mind before the dialogue with Alicent Hightower, after the conversation, the Prince One-Eye was all you thought about.
Absolutely everything.
Your breath hitched as tears blurred your vision. You were so confused, so angry and sad. You swear if you saw him now you could punch his perfectly handsome face. Why should you consider it? He left you.
He left you. Who does he think he is?
Your steps were steady along the red keep, heading towards the prince's room. Commonly he should be arriving from his fly with Vhagar, and even if he wasn't in his chambers you'd hunt him down every corner of the palace. He will not flee from you fury.
Aemond had been craving your answer for days. He felt nervous and uneasy, even as he tried to remain calm. He couldn't push things, he shouldn't, he had no right. But if he could… If he must. Eventually the prince must confront his own layer of sensitivity to let you back where you should never have left. He knows that his words are not enough, that his apologies are not enough, that his feelings are not enough. He is not enough for you.
You are kind, fearless, funny, loyal and companion.
And he... he's afraid to overshadow your goodness and sicken your soul.
The sudden opening of the door almost made him jump in his chair, automatically facing the bold intruder before leaving the book on the table. The whole action was a surprise actually, but seeing you standing there with clenched fists and ragged breathing was something else.
Suddenly all the words disappeared from you mind.
As much as your anger remained untouched, you didn't know where to start. The impassive stance of the man in front of you didn't help either.
He had never contemplated anything like your current state.
"My lady." He tried.
“The queen thinks I should forgive you. She came to my room earlier, tried to hide her intentions from the main subject.” You started. “All these days I've been haunted by your words, by your shadow, even though I tried not to think about you. So tell me, Aemond, why should I forgive you?”
Silence is your answer.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Your tone was tearful, moving until you was inches from him. “I loved you, Aemond!”
Aemond Targaryen was not an easy man to frighten or surprise. Though tottaly reactive, the one-eye prince sported the stoic, silent pose responsible for intimidating anyone in his path. He was terribly relentless in not showing any emotion other than indifference, but lowering his head in front of you when his hands found your wrists, he let a defeated sigh fall.
"I'm not worthy of your love, but I'm selfish enough to let you go."
His eye didn't meet yours as he decided to break in front of you. It was the only way. It was what he wanted to tell you for so long.
“After Lucerys Velaryon blinded me in one eye, all I could feel was rage. Revenge, to be exact. I hated him, and I still think I do. These feelings consumed me in silence, sometimes clearly, but never with you. I felt normal with you, like nothing had happened.” He paused, moving closer. “But I couldn't stop so much anger and hatred from filling my mind. I tried to protect you. I should have talked to you beforehand. I see that now, but not that Aemond. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you. I will always be sorry.”
It was your turn to be silent. Your brain working hard to concoct what he was told. You swallowed hard, bracing your hands on his chest.
“Do you still feel it? The hate?"
“Yes, my lady.”
His eye met your, analyzing your features. Don't hate me, please.
“I’m sorry, Aemond.” You touched him gently on the left side of his face, grazing your thumb near his eye patch. "I'm sorry for all the years you suffered in silence." Your heart ached, not sparing the lone tear from escaping. "I’m afraid. I'm afraid you'll pull away again. I love you. I fucking love you and you pushed me away.” You confessed, burying your head in his chest, pulling him close.
“I will never forgive myself for what I did to you. I will spend the rest of my days proving my sincere regrets and my devoted passion. I love you, my lady.” He wrapped his arms around you, holding you painfully close. “I love you so, my love. Stay with me please."
“Don't break my heart again. Do not leave me. If you have the slightest bit of respect for me, don't deceive me. Don't push me away again because I swear, I swear I'm leaving.” Your voice was firm but low, confiding him truth.
"I promise. I won't lose you again, my love.”
You took a deep breath, still hugging him. He was yours. Your Aemond. Your man. Your love. Just like you were his too. And he wouldn't let you go. I wouldn't lose you again.
“I forgive you."
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