#not equipped to handle this ;____;

[sleepy-writes-stuff]

DP X DC PROMPT #27

(Time for something a little more lighthearted/found family. Could probably also make this a crack prompt instead.)

(#) = Notes at the end of post

(*) = Just me building off of other ideas.

✦

Visitation Rights

When Danny went to list Dani/Ellie as his heir after she'd come back from her years of traveling the world, he was quickly informed that he already had one in line for the thrown.

"What? Since when?!"

The pretentious, floating eyeball looked like he wanted to be anywhere else other than here, providing information to King Phantom, but explained anyway.

"The day you officially achieved royal status, you permanently linked your being to the Infinite Realms. When this happened, however, a child was in the process of being created with the assistance of ectoplasmic runoff that's been leaking into the mortal world for centuries. As a result of your power being incorporated into the Realms at such a time, this human child retained an imprint of your core signature. The Infinite Realms itself has recognized this child as your offspring. Your... other offspring has yet to be recognized in such a way and would therefore be considered your second heir once claimed."

Danny stared at the Observant with wide, blank eyes that were slowly filling with dread and panic.

"Why are you just telling me this now?? My coronation was over a decade ago!" He held his face in his hands and gave a horrified groan at what he just learned.

"If you really wanted that clone as your heir, I'm afraid it's too late to change it-"

Danny's head shot back up with a snarl and furious green eyes.

"That's not what I'm upset about you walking cataracts! Eleven years! I've missed eleven years of this kid's life!! How could you think I-"

At a loss for words, he growled deep in his chest. Deep enough that it echoed throughout the halls and rattled the floors.

"Who is this kid, and where can I find them?"

Once given the information and learning of the child's other parental figures, he gets to work. A few weeks later, he appears in the home office of a well-known billionaire with a stack of papers that he promptly slams onto the desk in front of the startled man. (1)

"I demand visitation rights to our son, Damian Wayne."

✦

(1) Danny actually visited Talia first to get visitation rights. Needless to say, that didn't go very well. He's still got a couple knives floating around in his chest cavity because of it.

(*) ALSO! I'm not sure how this lines up with the DC/Batman timeline. All I figured out is that if Danny waited to be crowned until after he graduated college as an astrophysicist, which take 5 to 7 years, he'd be about 36 years old when he finds out about Damian. Bruce would be about 41, so the age gap is only 5 years. If y'all wanna make this Danny/Bruce, go ahead!

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dpxdc #danny is ghost king #damian wayne is his heir through magical infinite realms coronation bs #just go with it #danny feels bad for not being part of damian's life and wants to make up for it #mysterious blue-skinned elven looking monarch shows up in bruce's study and he doesnt know how to feel about it #danny turns out to be the one best equipped to handle damian's knife-happy tendencies because fighting = fun/bonding in ghost society #possible danny/bruce pairing #do they have a special ship name like the others? #would this make damian and dani/ellie siblings? #spirit halloween #danny phantom crossover #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #writing prompt #prompt #sleepy writes stuff

[radiance1]

Gotham: Holy shit there's a random animal running around Gotham city and no one's ever caught it before. They say it only appears in thunderstorms and anyone unfortunate enough to cross paths with it look as if they've been hit by thunder.

Dan phantom, the 'random animal' who is in fact a Raiju in question: If I destroy this place I'll be fucked over by Clockwork. But if I don't destroy this place I'll keep being followed by this brat.

Damian Wayne, the brat in question: There is an animal roaming Gotham in thunderstorms, father. We must save it!

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #raiju dan phantom #Just so you know #He's been kicked to another universe by Clockwork so he could express good behavior in a place that would be better equipped to handle him #If he decides to throw another world ending tantrum that is #Dan isn't that evil anymore because he went through the magic of *sparkles* therapy *sparkles* with Clockwork #He would still try to straight up kick Danny into the curve as soon as he sees him though so Clockwork forbade the two from interacting #Which works extremely well considering they're in separate universes an allat #Dan is feeling very offput by constantly being followed by this random child #Damian is hellbent on finding and rescuing this poor animal who only appears in thunderstorms #He does not give af if it's taller than a grown man he still wants to give it a good home #The batfam be wondering if this is a meta animal or one more magically inclined

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

overwhelmed by the comedy of Dracula learning to cook & perform light housekeeping in order to convince His Good Friend Jonathan that there are invisible servant lurking in the background. And then it turns out Dracula is an excellent cook! to the point Jonathan remarks upon it in his diary!

How did this happen! Where did Dracula learn Home Economics???

#dracula daily #How did this happen! Who taught him! #Where did he get the Ingredience! #My theory is he has an Understanding with one of the Village Grannies #wherein she comes in to teach him to Home Economics skills #with the guarantee of immunity from bloodsucking + very generous payment #AND she gets the profound satisfaction of chiding DRACULA HIMSELF for under seasoning the soup #'no dear it needs more garlic' #...oh that's a HILARIOUS MENTAL IMAGE actually!!! #Vampires and their garlic/salt allergy #Dracula getting all suited up in his personal protective equipment to handle garlic & salt for his dear friend Jonny's supper #ART PROMPT #THAT IS AN ART PROMPT

[drawbauchery]

part 19381203 of someone on the island realizing they might be in love or something

#bunpiry #art #danganronpa #bus au #kazuichi soda #hajime hinata #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #sonia nevermind #akane owari #i do these flashbacks all out of order #this is coma/pre-hospital times #i imagine the moment the rest of the class wakes up #hajime and crew realize they're not equipped at all to handle it and contact ff begging for help #then after the hospital joint it's back to the island #for more gay adventures

[cringefailvox]

angel dust convinces lucifer to try weed once in a pitying attempt to make him calm down but all that ends up happening is lucifer cries on angel's shoulder about how much he hates himself for being a shitty absent father and then passes out on the lobby floor and sleeps for fifteen hours straight

#angel never offers again. my guy is NOT equipped to handle whatever lucifer's deal is #angel dust #lucifer #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer

[purrvaire]

"I really do remember though. every second with you. i’m so glad you’re back, because it killed me, Donna. It killed me, it killed me, it killed me."

#PEOPLE DIED #PEOPLE THREW UP #PEOPLE SOBBED #its me im people #this doctor express his feelings im not equipped to handle this situation #they're the best friends more best friends that ever existed #donna noble #fourteenth doctor #tendonna #doctor who spoilers #doctor who 60th anniversary #doctor who specials #david tennant #catherine tate #user purrvaire

[ghost-bxrd]

Would Jason die in the court of owls batfam au?

Oooo, good question! I could see it go either way honestly.

The entire Court would be on the warpath afterwards and wake up every single Talon to go hunt down the Joker tho.

#court family #Cobb calls dibs #Bruce would spiral if jason died #and Cobb would have trouble picking up the pieces #he’s not equipped to handle emotions #none of them are #that’s what they had jason for #William Cobb #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne

[laundrybiscuits]

“Eddie,” Robin says, eyes wide in a way that means trouble. “Edward Munson, I sincerely hope your last will and testament is in order, because you are going to completely and totally die when I tell you who just got hired at Scoops Ahoy.”

Eddie groans. “Don’t tell me Tammy Thompson is giving up on her Nashville dreams.”

“No, I hate you, shut up forever, you’ll never guess.” Robin pauses, then in a dramatic whisper she’s definitely picked up from Eddie himself, says: “Steve Harrington.”

“Jesus. No shit?”

“Yeah, I have to train him. Oh my god it’s the worst. He’s so bad at, like, everything.”

She shoves at his shoulder until he moves out of the doorway of the trailer, and flings herself backwards onto his couch. “Like! Okay! I showed up to my shift thinking it would be a completely normal day in which I would be bored out of my skull distributing frozen dairy products to the flotsam and jetsam of Hawkins, and Ned’s like, hey Robin, you’re showing the new guy the ropes today. And then that freaking jackass has the freaking nerve to say—” Her voice drops a full register. “Uhh, nice to meet you, I’m Steve. Nice to meet you! God!”

Eddie cringes sympathetically, sucking air between his teeth. There’s a special kind of indignity to being so completely and utterly below the radar of Hawkins High royalty, even former bearers of the crown. It’s not as if Hawkins is a big town; Eddie’s pretty sure he could pick every single person in the graduating classes of ‘84 and ‘85 out of a crowd. He’ll probably be able to do it for ‘86 too, though he’s trying not to think about it too hard. So he’ll be a senior again (again) this fall, whatever. It’s fine. It’s whatever.

Once in a while, he wastes some time really, really wishing he’d gotten to know Robin earlier in the year. Maybe even last year. For undying friendship reasons, yeah, but also because with her in his corner, he might’ve actually passed enough of his classes to fucking graduate on his second fucking try.

But he’d only actually met her, like actually met her for real instead of passing her in the hall sometimes, when he’d let himself get suckered into rejoining band. It wasn’t like he could’ve brought his guitar in, but he let it slip to Miss Genovese that he could read music and keep time, and they needed someone to wallop the bass drum, and he figured a little experience fucking around with percussion might be the one thing he could salvage from the year. He’d just…been so goddamn tired of feeling stuck, spinning his wheels. Music was something he could actually handle; something he could actually get better at. Something he could master. He's man enough to admit he needed a win.

The actual songs were all stuffy Holst and Sousa numbers, but they’d had some fun technical bits he spent his evenings hammering out for a couple weeks. And then right around the point when he’d gotten good enough to get bored and think about quitting like last time, it had somehow wound up that shooting the shit with the gangly weirdo in the trumpet section was one of the best parts of his day. Unfortunately, by the time they’d gotten close enough for her to start bullying him about homework and shit, it had been way too late to save his chance at walking that ‘85 stage with assholes like Steve fucking Harrington.

Not that Harrington would’ve even noticed, apparently.

“Anyway, the one singular saving grace about the entire situation is that he looks even dumber in the sailor costume than I do, so at least that will make me feel better about my life until he gets fired for burning down the ice cream freezer or something like that. Eddie, I cannot stress this enough: he is so bad at this job.”

Eddie very tactfully does not bring up the litany of screw-ups that Robin’s admitted to over the last couple weeks since she started at Scoops; he just says, “Buckley, it sounds to me like you might be in need of some quality relaxation time this fine evening. I can offer you a nice cold beer, some herbal refreshment…or a fiendishly weird new song to learn with an intro riff that'll make you cry.”

Robin, inveterate nerd of his heart, sits up immediately and chirps, “New song, please!” just like he knew she would. She’s going to run off and elope with his acoustic one of these days, and he’s not even mad about it.

“Coming right up, m’lady,” says Eddie. “I promise this entire Harrington situation will be over before you know it, and neither of us will ever have to think about him again.”

(ETA: First chapter of this fic has been edited/expanded and posted on AO3)

#new fic time YET AGAIN yes I know I have other things on the boil #seasonal things even #but I have recently spent 36 hours without sleep in airports/airplanes bc the nation of britain is 0% equipped to handle subzero temps #I literally kept myself sane by rereading nice comments I'd saved on my phone so thanks for that y'all #and I just needed to work on a thing that wasn't an angsty mid-90s Steve POV set in chicago; this was next on the docket #I'm just out here vibing with my Eddie & Robin: Gay BFFs agenda #obviously this will be steddie eventually but it feels disingenuous to tag on this part #fyi this will not be fully compliant with Rebel Robin but there may be some details drawn from the book/podcast #fic: purify our misfit ways

[spooky-dice]

btw everything going on with kristen and cassandra is good and in-character you just don’t know her like i do lol

#like this is literally just what religious trauma + avoidant behaviour is like #you NEED to believe in something but you can’t have enough faith in it that it can carry you #gods in spyre are reflections of their believer and kristen is clingy and distant and insecure and frustrating and full of self loathing #it’s a feedback loop and kristen isn’t equipped to handle that (yet) #cassandra is basically fhsy kristen and jy kristen wants to be someone new. do you get it. the vulnerable parts of herself she’s dodging #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 #kristen applebees

[wretchedspecimen]

people who have fucked up relationships with their fathers, let's join hands

#psych #henry spencer #shawn spencer #but in all seriousness #shawn's relationships with his parents are so similar to mine it's scary #like no wonder this is one of my ultimate comfort shows #mother who tried her best to be there emotionally but ultimately was focused on her career #father who had to step in and be both mom and dad but wasn't equipped to handle it and ended up coming off as both extremely #detached and hypercritical #my dad wasn't a cop though thank god

[glow-and-vamp]

Metamorphosis

The change inside the chrysalis is slow and gradual. The body digests itself from the inside out. The old body is broken down into imaginal cells but not all the tissues are destroyed. Some old tissues pass onto the creature's new body.

#vlad plasmius #vlad masters #imagine slowly transforming into something you hated #at a hospital ill-equipped to handle it #we think there's a lot of untapped potential of exploring Vlad's past #like yes danny is currently the happening now #but can you imagine the sheer hospital trauma? #the abandonment and betrayal? #jack and maddie canonically love and support danny without much thought #jack and maddie also canonically didn't contact their best friend for 10 years after blowing up his face in a ectoplasm-related accident #this is from our ask blog but we really felt it was good enough to stand on it's own #danny phantom #dp vlad #tw blood #tw broken glass #blog art.

[romanticizingmurder]

Sometimes I like to think about what a "forcibly turned into a vampire" support group would look like bc it makes me laugh in a tragicomic way. David is in there with Lestat. Who did it to him. Marius is refusing to admit he's traumatized at all. Lestat shows him a gif of Midsommar and he dissociates for an hour.

#the 3 with the most horrific turnings are also the 3 maybe least equipped to handle processing them is the thing

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Related question to the hook ask! How on earth do you tube a snake? do you put some kind of lure at the other end to get them to go inside?

Most snakes absolutely love tubes so it's no challenge to get them to go inside. It feels safe and confined in there, so most snakes will go inside the instant they see it in front of them. Snake tubes are pretty long, so you just kinda hold it in front of them and they usually go right in themselves. The real challenge can be getting them out!

#not a rating #venomous snake handling #snake equipment

[lesbianashlynx]

it will always be a crime to me that we never got to see how skipper and ash met

#banana fish #this leads to a much bigger topic that idk if im equipped to handle atm. #its a topic i think about a lot tho if i was willing to put in effort to post i could write a whole researched essay on it me thinks.

[rrylies]

what’s ur fav thing about altan

a lot comes to mind but i love love loved seeing the glimpses of what altan was like as himself (aka when he wasnt being extremely overburdened by the rage of the phoenix and his thirst for vengeance) like when rin ran into him at sinegard and he said what a rebel (had my heart pumping fr) and then again when altan came to collect rin for the cike and he was like what was that about losers and rejects? (ive got an annotation in my physical copy at this moment where its just incoherent screaming and i feel that really sums up how i feel about him) and then again when he was with suni and altan was calming him down and he was like its just me and he was so soft with the cike (up until he started losing his mind)

like altan was sassy and sarcastic and he did have a soft side. he cracked jokes and he probably laughed and enjoyed his time at the night castle with the rest of the cike before the third poppy war hit. he wasnt always just the "last speerly" (even though this is an important part of his character) or "the cike commander who went mad" (ouch). we were able to see his humanity, through little pieces and snippets, and we got to see that under all of that rage and fury, altan trengsin was just a boy who deserved so much better than what he got.

#altan trengsin #wow this got a little sad fast #i just love thinking ab the potential of altan trengsin #who he couldve been if not for all the shit that happened #like even past the speerly massacre #i feel like #if he hadn't been cike commander for the third poppy war #he MIGHT have turned out relatively okay #bcs being commander put so much pressure on him when he obviously was not equipped to handle it at all #anyways #thank u for the ask this was fun !!! #i love thinking ab altan

[teethflavoured]

question? Can your art be used for oc face claims? cus.. i’ve seen someone use your fuzzy feller as a face claim and then i stumbled across your page!

HUH?

Y'ALL ARE DOING WHAT?

if you are using my own ocs as 'face-claims' or whatever;

DO NOT FUCKING DO THAT. JESUS CHRIST.

even if its my concepts i still am very uncomfortable with the prospect of people thinking they can use my work willy-nilly. Ive seen it happen of people thinking they're entitled to use my work without even the slightest bit of credit. idc who you are.

if you wanna use my double-dipped octolings or how my fuzzy octolings look? whatever. just FUCKING CREDIT ME. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE USING MY ART. if i catch you using my stuff without an OUNCE OF CREDIT OR USING THEM FOR OC FACE CLAIMS it's going to be a hard block.

yall are really pushin me here!!!!

#sorry im not yelling at u anon im just kinda really fed upm #i do not think i am mentally equipped to handle the amount of attention i have on me but its ok we ball #teeth answers