#not even from cishets is the thing like ‘haha gay people sit weird’ but it’s from other queers who ask like

[bonetrousled]

the TAPE WOMAN INCIDENT is as follows. under a cut because this is a LONG ass ride

okay so to preface i need u to understand two things

1) i live in the middle of nowhere. i personally live in the middle of a CORNFIELD and it takes me fifteen minutes to drive to where i work and even that location is pretty non-notable. i work on the weekends and it gets pretty dead past 6 pm

2) i had a coworker we’ll call Sheldon who was one of THE worst people i’ve ever met. the most unbearable obtuse cishet white gay guy you can imagine. like “lesbians get too much rep” kind of guy. would follow you around WHILE you did your job stocking shit and talk your ear off to hear his own voice .  beyond that he was super weirdly violent. he’d make up stories about himself to sound cool but instead of being like “yeah my dad works at minecraft” he’d make up stories abt himself beating the shit out of people and like. wrenching their hair out.

if anyone else said these things to me i’d be scared shitless but i knew i could take him in a fight but it was still fucking WEIRD. talked abt wanting to hurt a higher-ups kids and he STILL wasn’t fired for that (eventually got fired later thank god) but he constantly did things that were borderline like. budding serial killer behavior ON TOP OF being unbearable to work with and constantly stealing my sales to make my numbers look bad

so. one of my coworkers had to leave early bc she was sick and i was given an ultimatum. i could either A) close alone for the very first time and be by myself for like two hours with no prior warning OR B) have sheldon come and close with me. of course i picked the former with NO hesitation. i figure yeah this is a scary and sudden happenstance but also if i had to be around him any longer id freak the fuck out. plus im like it’s like what. 5pm already? it’s not gonna be bad. i can deal w this.

so i’m sitting in the back alone and relaxing and whatever. i did everything i needed to do for the rest of the night earlier and since nobody was in the store i was just new boot goofing. the only thing of note that happens is that these middle school age boys come in and buy perms and leave. they will be back later

i go back to the back room and i’m enjoying myself when i hear the door ding so i go up to the front. in comes the omen: a woman in a tank top, coated in orange spray tan, with a bedazzled cross necklace. she’s the normal amount of annoying for any given Customer Interaction. HOWEVER

i go to cash her out. and i’m waiting for her to press a button on the card scanner but i don’t get the chance to be like “hey you need to do this for me to even start scanning your shit” because she begins telling me about an experience she just had

she goes “well. just so you know, i saw a woman in this parking lot, and she was sort of peering around into people’s cars, and she came up to me- and her face was ALL taped up.” so at this point im thinking like. gauze?? medical tape??

and she continues- “and she wanted a ride. so i said, okay, and i let her into my car. and she wanted a smoothie”

 (i have to interject here to say there is NOWHERE to get a smoothie near me. i have no idea what she’s talking about)

“so i took her to the smoothie place. she also had a BIG bag of carrots, and she wanted them to put the carrots in there. so they did, but then she decided she wanted them to remake the drink because they touched the carrots. anyway, i decided that was too much, so i had to drop her off. i let her go at starbucks, so, you know. if you see her, BE CAREFUL.”

okay so let’s unpack this. FIRSTLY i have had a woman made up to me. this is completely unbelievable from start to finish. i have no fucking idea what she’s talking about . SECONDLY: BE CAREFUL??

so i’m just like. sure this might as well happen . and i’m just like “ooh. um. haha yeah okay” and finally get to scanning her shit. and she goes to leave and stops at the door and her face falls as she STARES at me and whispers:

“i don’t know if you believe in this sort of thing, but i think god is watching. ALL the time. and i think he really, really wanted me to give her that smoothie. but i just COULDN’T do it.”

and she fucking leaves . so i’m just left there like 🧍 and i go sit back in the back. and im chilling out back there when i hear the door ding, so i go up and i’m greeted by the perm boys. they forgot some stuff they needed, so i’m like. ok cool no prob, heres what you need. while i’m helping them i hear the door ding again, but i’m helping the perm boys, so i figure i’ll finish with them and then see who came in and what they need.

we go to walk up to the register and someone’s facing away from us in the aisle. so i’m like “oh um excuse me! just gotta sneak past ya” and the Person turns around.

the tape woman. imagine if you will a lady with her ENTIRE HEAD wrapped in duct tape like the INVISIBLE FUCKING MAN. with a hole cut out in the duct tape for her mouth but NONE FOR HER EYES . there’s a single tape hole right next to her nose that she’s using to look out at me and in order to see me she has to lean all the way back to look at me with it . ADDITIONALLY she is carrying a fucking DUFFEL BAG that’s OPENED and filled with LOOSE BABY CARROTS

so while my heart takes a fastpass route straight to my stomach i am faced with a MYRIAD of realizations:

FIRSTLY the tape woman is fucking real. the omen i was given not even an hour earlier had come to pass and she was now in my store. SECONDLY i am the only person working. i can’t even look at anyone and be like HEY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON because my only witnesses are the goddamn PERM BOYS and THIRDLY i have to act like her head is NOT in fact covered in duct tape because like. i dont know what the hell is going on i think if i react in any way i will be in danger

so the tape woman scoots out of the way and i check the perm boys out. and they BOOK IT out of the store . so i am now left alone with the tape woman

and i’m like <:)  ..... do you. um. need any help with finding anything? and the tape lady turns around and she points at a bottle and goes. “is this shampoo?” and i’m like “ohhh um no that’s color sealer. this is shampoo here” and like. despite looking 100% like she was going to axe murder me she was one of the nicest people i had dealt with all day. she was just like “oh okay! thank you”.

and she asks me how much is so i tell her and she’s like oh alright. i only have five bucks on me right now so i’m gonna go into the parking lot and see if i can find any money. and i felt bad because like. i was going to offer to pay but the registers don’t let you cash yourself out if you’re ringing on them so i was just like “oh! alright!”

so she leaves and comes back a minute or two later and she’s very nicely just like “oh um don’t worry about it, i’m not gonna get anything today. have a nice night” and im like oh you too! and she leaves. and i watch through the front window as she goes to leave and this guy gives her like 20 bucks . so i’m thinking “oh she’s gonna come back and buy it right”

she comes back into the door. and stops in the doorway and she says to me

“um, don’t worry about it, actually. i’m not gonna get that right now-“

and she lowers her voice before going:

“because i have to pray. and if the prayer turns out RIGHT. i will come back. and i will buy it.”

and she LEAVES without a second word. did not even see her in the PARKING LOT for the rest of the NIGHT . i have asked MULTIPLE PEOPLE who work in the same plaza if they encountered this lady and NOBODY HAS. i asked the people at STARBUCKS and they say they haven’t ever seen her. my ONLY witnesses are these middle schoolers trying to get perms. i have been thinking about this at least once a day since the event has happened. i haven’t even seen the first lady who warned me about her since. i think i was contacted by spirits or something

tldr two separate women channel god in a beauty supply store in the middle of country bumpkin nowhere at 7:30 pm while i closed alone

#txt

[seveneyesoup]

microdosing on being an avatar of the flesh by sitting in positions totally unnatural for a human body to be comfortable in

#‘how are you sitting like that’ and i look down and there’s a foot on the arm rest behind me or smth #idk i just sit down and reposition occasionally #not even from cishets is the thing like ‘haha gay people sit weird’ but it’s from other queers who ask like #idk i’m just sitting here #anyway. that or violently and without warning jerking your head to crack your neck #which i opted not to put bc i think head jerking isn’t an uncommon autistic body motion? #and so i didn’t wanna associate that w unnatural or scary movement yk #seems inconsiderate and in the case that that would be fine to post then it might go to the stranger actually #bc neck stuff in fiction is often the domain of things pretending to be human #anyway. also considered making a post about cannibalism or standing too long in the meat aisle #bc i definitely do that #but i’ll make a separate cannibalism post and dedicate that one to the hannibal fans. as a treat #i’d make that post now but i need to ramble a good bit in the tags but with Intent and j can’t muster that tonight #tma #the magnus archives #the magnus pod #the flesh

[unproduciblesmackdown]

40, 47, 59, 62, 76

lmao hell yeah thanks for All this support i love it!! quastions

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

really idk i feel like even our schools’s Antics were pretty par for the course and i was just sitting in the corner reading the whole time basically......trying to think if anything wild happened in college but even then it was p similar. well you know what, whatever donors covered the majority of the cost of the school’s black box theater being renovated apparently Stipulated that every other year a rodgers and hammerstein production be put on. absolute freaks. my roommate/friend and their then-boyfriend, the one mormon i have Knowingly Known in my life, were in pirates of penzance (sic?) together. hilarious

47. favorite type of cheese?

i like cheddar and like, parmesan, smoked gouda.....let’s get that shit Sharp!!! and hard lmao

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

idk i’d be like an npc just doing their weird thing on their own. i’ve never played pokemons unless you count pokemons Go but i think about the famed “i like shorts they’re comfy and easy to wear” npc kid. like, yeah. i feel the same. and would say similar bullshit nobody asked about

62. seven characters you relate to?

oh god.........recognizing the self through the relatable characters :|

well let’s just talk about the wrol roles right off b/c the characters that Most occupy my gay thoughts (which is to say: my general thoughts) will inevitably get priority when it comes to Remembering things

1) whom among us doesn’t relate to jared kleinman........will roland emerging from relative obscurity and coming for our entire fucking lives like the goddamn legend he is. it’s tough b/c it’s like, oh well alana is relatable too, so is evan unfortunately sorry evan, and in ways i might ~usually act~ like one of those two more than jared but. no. it is Jared who wins the relatability contest, and we all get to be beautifully haunted by it forever

2) leaning hard into winston even with the few glimpses of him b/c somehow will Cannot play an allistic cishet. and this is even More of a case where maybe i don’t much have winston’s demeanor.......even without winston being a beacon of confidence, he has more confidence lmao. and he has that ability to just Be Himself in a situation which, i wish i had that moxie lmao. i am a lot more [usually trying to be accommodating wayyyy harder than i should], booo......even though he’s clearly not great at conflict considering how it doesn’t take Too much to put him out, it’d be pretty impossible for me to be all “called them hacks and lame” or carry out a very irritated monologue in front of four people in the first place lmao. but who knows. and it’s more in the details of like, oh no winston’s the odd one out even though he hasn’t really Done Anything, but we all ~understand~ why he Deserves it.........his expectation / treating it basically as Fact that he will disappoint people.......the [weird] [offputting] behaviors and his way of speaking in What he Says and How He Says It seeming wrong to people.......like it’s only 15-ish min of content that we have here and we don’t have the least info about will’s own thoughts on the character but it’s like. how is this such an iconic Gay Autistic Quant b/c these vibes are so rare. and i appreciate that he can be ~difficult~ lmao. same with jared though i didn’t mention it. i can be difficult!! love it for us...

3) briony atkins from murder of bindy mackenzie as a character who Does act more like how i Usually Act Like lmao.....god we’re only on three i forgot there was seven of these. and yet i know there’s probably at least 2 dozen characters who could make this list and i just won’t think of most of them unless directly reminded......but anyways yeah i mean in person i mostly do Not want attention unless i feel comfortable enough / in my element or whatever. especially if it’d be some situation like “sitting in a group of randos” lol. i mean it depends b/c i also can sometimes be ~on~ in terms of Masking and trying to be like Haha I’m Social I’m Regular and i def engage in Nervous Chatter sometimes, but like, very often it’s like god don’t talk to me and i don’t want to talk either.....and then yeah people Will be surprised that like, idk, i’m opinionated as shit and idk that i Enjoy Things / Have Thoughts And Feelings coz the assumption i guess is that you must simply have nothing to say. so the dismissal of this person who seemingly has nothing to contribute and must be Boring rings true lmfao.....but then of course it’s also important that her personality Under that is the one getting mistaken for emily’s lol cuz yeah At Heart i am sure of that dramatic / intense / excitable type Sometimes. but it takes some excavation before i am like “oh i can engage in my actual self” and like weeks and months to get comfortable w/ people and i’m always suspicious that anyone actually would enjoy it and i’m not too much......i am a motormouth actually and have something to say about any and everything and like to Have Fun Here but like. idk i come off as boring and can be Notably Quiet lmao

4) oscar martinez from the office is weirdly [Haha Same] sometimes lmfao. sort of keeps to himself but also has to pipe up with Opinions and Pedantry and the kind of Drama of a restrained theatre gay. some deleted scene from an episode where during an interview clip of Jimothy in a theater lobby and you have oscar call from across the group in that [wearied Ugh God] way of ‘jim, they’re remaking ___’ while jim just kind of gives a cursory “wow gosh” or whatever and like, i sure don’t have lots of Theatre Opinions but that “oh jeez i have a Take on this and have to share it with someone” vibe is like hahaha yeah.....it’s funny in the “the gang goes to the ice rink for a third of the ep” bit where you just catch oscar doing [ice skating turn] with some solemn intensity.......the “here’s a question nobody’s asking: is this worth it” quote.........way at the end where there’s a whole deal with one of the indoor plants and he’s like “why is it a He” @ the collective gendering of the houseplant lmfao.......i love the one thing where he and pam and uhh toby right? have the Finer Things book club or whatever and jim wants to join just like ~ironically~ and pam has to tell him that oscar doesn’t want him to join b/c he’s not going to take it seriously and use it as a Jokes Vehicle. and then you get the scene at the end where jim Is basically doing that and they’re just like taking it out of him and oscar’s all very seriously like “did you get it all out of your system” lmfao like yeah, earnest members only lmao.....the thing where he gets mad at angela’s like Jazz Musician Posed Babies posters all “it’s kitsch it Destroys art” lmaoooo and in a totally different season all “this is the problem with debate” over the completely inconsequential “is [whichever actress, i forget] Hot” “”””debate””””.......the whole tendency to get involved and always have a take to get across.....opinionated-sometimes-to-the-point-of-petty central. also that he’s the canon gay, are there even any others? anyways and as the us office’s spiritual successor i’ll add on to this by uh what’s the name of billy eichner’s character on parks and rec? it’s craig right. that Self-Powered Intensity is very #me as well.

5) augh god........im like lmfao shit who represents my Hater Club side. hmmm. oh no wait you know what. totally different but i love Prof Beatrice Hotchkiss in the trt nancy drew pc game. she’s holed up in her room writing all the time and just is weird when you try to talk to her all like no i won’t open the door, bring me food, do this Research, bring me my Ski Boots i guess......and then when you do meet her it’s all at like post-midnight in the lounge and she’s all like, encouraging you as a Night Owl and your investigative curiosity and all and i’m like oh word yeah being up in the dead of night is the shit. she’s just weird and passionate and this is another character i might not Act hardly at all like but who i vibe with lmfao. hotchkiss was the supportive adult in my life

6) remembering how hotchkiss is a historian made me think of academia which made me think of like, once again with “these vibes are So So Rare” i really ought to put the wrol role of Nato on the list cuz like. that essential representation of “gets gr8 grades but isn’t really ~academic~ / doesn’t care about that and really just cares about Hanging W Friends and [real specific interests]” is like wow damn that’s the Mood. coz like to an extent i can always Relate to the ~overachiever~ types a la the [nerd character gets all-A’s and other nerd shit] deal, but there’s eventually the issue of like.....those characters like bindy mackenzies and alana becks Care about their achievements (not exclusively as some ppl would have it 9_9) and are Studious whereas i always hated school and was a godawful student in terms of Habits and always got good grades b/c the devil was with me or something and like people will think i must have tried real hard and dedicated myself to Academics and stuff and it’s like.........no................not at all hardly, sure i did my hw every night but at like 11:29 pm or studied for a midterm at lunch right before the class lol or flipped through a lil bit of the sat study guide the night prior.........the “low-effort dumbass who Academically Excels Anyhow” representation is so crucial like!! i run into a wall when it’s the Good Grades nerd character who is real studious and focused and stuff like. couldn’t be me. meanwhile the “naturally weird + probably some ‘deliberate’ weirdness” and “likes animals” and “most likely to just wanna Roll With It” and “shitty focus lol” and “non sequiturs” and “without [activity] i do nothing” is all like....ahahahohoho..........nato rly got to make this list. and honorable mention for Wrol Jeremy. again: whom doesn’t relate!!!!!!!!

7) damnit i know there’s So many answers to [characters i relate to] and whom cover like, more particular Facets here but i’m struggling lmao. Uh. like i’m like, who’s the Hot Mess / continually evolving disaster characters i vibe with......who’s the peak despresso detached Haters rep......who embodies the solo production lifestyle........dammit you know what lol i tend to Feel for like, the background ~nobodies~ who might just get like totally destroyed in some movie with life or death stakes just to like, show how much danger our heroes / Important Complex Protags are. same w/ jeremy not feeling like the Hero / the one who the story’s about / the cool guy / player 1 / etc etc etc i’m like oo i’d be the npc who doesn’t really do anything, i’d be the rando getting blown away in the background of someone else’s story. on a totally different note another shoutout / honorable mention to wybie from the coraline lmfao one of the best characters invented from thin air for an adaptation......tangentially relevant b/c he’s entirely here to support the protag / not his story at all, just here to help and prompt interactions / exposition really.......but love that [weird loner kid who’s best friend is a cat and annoys the other kid and doesn’t Get it and has specific interests and entertains himself and just is doing weird shit around here tf dude lmao killing it] like, #mood. #lifestyle. less dismal to relate to than the bg person who dies......his counterpart who totally dies is somewhat fleshed out / given Investment so it doesnt Really count as [background Nobody who’s really just fodder for “defining the stakes / threat level”] Character Concept

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

latkes maybe......Yummy

#i expect to now just think of like ten dozen Other Characters who would've been great to mention #c'est la vie!!! c'est comme ca!!!! speaking of. thinking of the hc that winston jsut. drops french phrases into his speech sometimes #building on the moi....tbt ur benston fic w quelle horreur..... #nothingunrealistic1

[captive-eve-blog]

So uh... I just saw the most bullshit callout posts in the history of ever and I don’t think these people are as smart as they think they are...

Okay, feck it. Lemme explain why. I won’t say the handles of the call out posters, if you look it up you’ll easily find them.

Pornhub post

This was a JOKE. Hate the joke, love the joke, this isn’t proof of anything. Also, I’d really love to know how someone could know that a majority of Fish’s audience is under the age of eighteen. And more on that note, Fish is under no obligation to protect their audience from anything, even if they’re under eighteen. 

The Fucktoy post

Also bullshit. Just seems like your average nineteen year old post. Goes like:

Fish: “Call me your fucktoy and destroy me!”

Fish: “oops! haha! wrong blog!”

Fish: “dont let me stop you though!”

Again... Average nineteen year old joke. I’d go as far as to say I’ve heard these jokes in middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL! Not to mention, Fish has tagged all of their posts appropriately. Still want proof over how they have a largely minor fanbase btw.

The Discord Server 

In my opinion, this is by far one of the worst ‘proofs’ I’ve seen. The screenshot ‘proof’ for this one is literally just a mod ranting about how aged up character porn isn’t pedophilia, and I’m of like mind to agree with them because guess fucking what?? Pedophiles are attracted to CHILDREN. Aged up character porn does not count as cp for that very reason. I never would’ve thought I’d have to explain that but here we are.

Are you gonna sit there and tell me that teenagers have never talked about stuff like this before? Or even far worse? Not to mention, how is it that “ADULT mods” is proof for you? Adults generally (I say generally, I know there’s exceptions) have more responsibility than teens or children. WHY IS THAT YOUR PROOF???

And the lolicon twitter account

After looking this up myself, I have to say it’s one of the dumber points. Those two screenshots had to have been dug out because amazingly?? There’s TONS more SFW work than there is NSFW. So yay, thanks for trying to warp the ‘evidence’ to suit your narrative. Guys, PLEASE do your own research before blindly believing anything.

Not to mention, scrolling the ‘loli’ artist, I don’t think the main focus of their account is lolis. I’ve found plenty of art of made up characters that look far older. You have to dig REALLY deep to find lolis in slightly NSFW ways and so far? I’ve yet to find it. I can believe it exists but what I can’t believe is that it’s as much a problem as people think it is. You can make ANYTHING negative if you try hard enough.

 About the second artist? I go to their twitter and BAM! 

“The characters I draw, I am trying to depict them older than in their source material so that they are not underage. and I will NEVER support any sort of harrassment or creepness towards kids or children”

This... Doesn’t look good for the callout post, tbh. I know some people will believe it regardless, but the ones that actually do the research will notice THIS on the artist’s twitter.

There’s also a point about how Fish ‘manipulates’ their fanbase and refuse to apologize. I’ve personally seen them apologize a good deal. And the point about the patreon is... Weird, in and of itself. People with patreons aren’t obligated to give you anything in return. Patreon is just meant for the AUDIENCE to support them. It’s nice if the person with patreon gives back but they’re not obligated to. 

I don’t subscribe to Fish’s patreon, so I don’t actually know what goes on there but that point was still weird to me regardless.

Also there’s a point about how ‘Fans of Fish have a cult-like devotion and it stems from a campaign of love-bombing and gratification’... This is literally taking whatever you can think of and make it negative.

People love Fish because of how sweet they are to everyone. People are drawn to them (reasons of many) because of how ready they are with compliments. That’s.... How is that automatically culty? You could LITERALLY call ‘cult-like devotion’ on any fanbase... That’s taking something positive and making it negative. Like I’ve said countless times, you could take ANYTHING positive and make it negative.

On the second one---- The second callout post also had some bs screenshots.

The first one made the claim of believing in reverse oppression. Now, I don’t immediately understand this one but I have two possibilities, both of which are bs. But first, the post.

“If you demonstrate any form of hating cishets, you will be kicked.” 

1) Callout person is making the claim that reverse oppression isn’t a thing and I would agree, not for the way they’re saying though I would think. Basically me saying it’s ALL oppression, no need to put reverse in front of it lmao. But if this point is the case then I would think that they think it’s not possible to oppress cishets since they’re... I dunno... Privileged?

2) Believes that the person in the screenshot is calling for ‘oppressing’ LGBT... I could be wrong on either account, it’s a weirdly phrased point.

To me, it looks like the person in the screenshot is against harassment rather than being for ‘oppression’. Of course, there’s no fecking context here but god...

Again, the point about aging up characters... I’ve made my point about that long ago.

The next point is about someone (apparently) thinking MAP is a sexuality. Now, this screenshot is weird in and of itself? I think Discord screenshots are sus period because of how easy it is to masquerade as other people and crop out useful information but I digress...

It’s basically a screenshot of a screenshot? It still has me going, “Okay... Is there more context?” 

Also..... The screenshot about Fish supposedly claiming lesbians are violent. Excuse me? I make these jokes with my friends and we’re as gay as can fucking be. It’s just another case of someone taking a joke way too far.

But well, that’s all I’ve got to say on this subject

#Really?? Stupid call out PLEASE do your own research