#not his own to injure or endanger. his body...his very existence in those formative years was orochimarus first...then danzō's...and if you

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Healing Ties - Chapter 3

*Warning Adult Content*

A crumpled form lay curled up at the base of a tree, completely covered by a large, dark blue cloak.

The person was unmoving but they were breathing.

Yore could hear it.

He shifted, his body contorting itself into a new form.

Once upon a time shifting had been smooth and painless but now it felt like his bones were made of shattered glass.

He stood up on two feet and dressed himself in the clothes from his bag.

By the time he was done the figure still hadn't moved but Yore's hearing wasn't as sharp in this form so he couldn't just listen to see if their heart rate had sped up to gauge whether he'd been noticed or not.

Yore crouched next to the figure.

"Hey, you okay?"

The figure stirred.

"You're covered in blood, so probably not. Do you need help?"

The figure startled, tried to sit up and then let out a cry of pain.

A young man.

Yore held his hands out in front of himself.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, don't hurt yourself."

The young man sat up, more slowly this time and peered out at Yore from beneath the hood of his cloak.

A lock of long hair the colour of actual gold had escaped his hood and caught the light.

"A Companion?" Yore asked.

A few years ago he wouldn't have known what hair like that meant but by this point he knew enough Companions that he was well informed.

The mage pushed his hair back under his hood but he surely knew it was too late to hide it.

What was an expensive Companion doing out here?

Had he escaped?

Had he been left here for dead after his master had had some fun torturing him?

Neither seemed particularly likely.

He'd seen some truly awful things done to slaves but those who were into that sort of thing didn't usually go for Companions.

There were cheaper, more discreet options.

And running away?

Danya might have had that sort of spirit but it was rare among Companions.

Especially the more expensive ones.

A great deal of time and effort was put into training them to be docile and obedient.

"What happened to you?" Yore asked.

The mage looked back at him.

He didn't answer.

There was another possibility.

Another reason he might be here.

As much as Yore didn't want to consider it, he might have been planted.

The rebellion had grown over the last few years.

They'd kept many things a secret but the existence of their movement itself could only be hidden so long.

They'd freed too many slaves to go unnoticed.

If someone was looking to get inside information, planting an injured slave full of tracking chips and listening devices somewhere where he would be found would be an excellent approach.

If that were the case or even a possibility, Yore would need to reassess his approach to this situation.

He couldn't simply tell this young man what he was involved in and offer him safety and freedom.

That would endanger not only himself but his pack and the rebellion as well.

Leaving him here or returning him to wherever he came from simply weren't options, though.

Yore had come to accept that he couldn't save everyone but when someone was right in front of him in need of help he would do everything he could.

He would keep what he told the mage to a minimum and let him reach his own conclusions about what Yore intended to do with him.

Those conclusions likely wouldn't be very pleasant or legal but in terms of consequences it was much better than telling someone who could be a spy all about the rebellion.

The mage had hugged his arms around his legs and was holding very still.

He was staring at the ground.

"What's your name?" Yore tried but the mage remained silent. "Are you not able to speak? I know a man who's mute."

Still no response.

Not even a nod or a shake of his head.

Maybe he was deaf.

Or, more likely, unwilling to talk.

Well, Yore could hardly blame him for that.

If this wasn't a set up the mage was a runaway and by all appearances Yore was human.

"Okay. I don't need to know your name and I don't need to know what happened but I do need to know about your injuries. Can I just..."

Yore reached a hand out and the mage startled backwards, holding his hands out in front of him and rapidly shaking his head.

His eyes were a very similar light blue to Danya's.

"Okay."

Yore held his hands up as well, signalling that he was backing down.

"You don't want to be touched. That's fine. Will you show me where you're hurt?"

The mage hesitated and then reluctantly nodded.

He took his cloak off and hung it over a nearby branch and then pulled off his shirt.

There was a bandage wrapped around his midsection, stained a deep red on one side and then he turned and showed Yore a few nasty looking cuts in the middle of his back.

"Is what's under that bandage as bad as what's on your back? Worse?" Yore asked but of course the mage didn't answer.

"If you need medical help I need to know. I..."

Yore had taken a step towards the mage and the mage took a startled step back.

His foot caught on the root of a tree and he started to stumble but Yore was there to catch him before he could fall.

The mage let out a cry of pain or maybe fear but instead of struggling or cowering he shoved his hands in his armpits, tucked his head down and held very still.

Yore set him back on his feet and gave him space.

"Careful."

The mage kept his hands under his armpits.

He was breathing quickly and he wouldn't look at Yore anymore.

Yore slowly nodded.

"Okay. How about you put your clothes back on and we sit down so you don't trip over again and then we can figure out where to go from there?"

The mage followed the instructions methodically.

He put his shirt on.

He put his cloak on.

He carefully sat on the ground.

He shoved his hands back under his armpits.

Yore sat down as well.

The hands under the armpits thing was odd.

Had he been taught not to touch people?

For a mage and particularly a Companion, that was especially cruel.

Which reminded Yore of another concern, the mage would need someone else to balance his magic.

Yore didn't fully understand the concept but he knew mages got sick when they went too long without having enough direct contact with either a human or another mage.

Especially if they used a lot of magic or were injured, as this young man was.

Yore couldn't help him with that.

At least not directly.

He was neither a human nor a mage.

This situation was likely to get messy.

Well, messier than it already inherently was.

Well, one step at a time.

He would need to take the mage to someone who had one of the devices that could wipe the tracking chips.

Lucas would be preferable, assuming he could be found.

Yore didn't exactly want to take the mage home with him when he might be being tracked.

Yore could have tracked Lucas down in under a day in wolf form but he'd need to travel on two legs and at the pace of a small and quite injured mage who seemed like he would be unwilling to be carried.

This journey would take days and even if the mage's injuries caused him no serious problems he would likely ultimately become too out of balance to walk on his own.

Yore shook his head.

He was thinking too far ahead again.

If they were going to travel, they would need supplies.

He could have made do with what he had in his bag on his own but the mage was in no condition to rough things out.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," Yore told the mage.

"I have some friends who live nearby, so I'm going to go and ask if they can lend us anything to help us out with this situation. You're going to wait here while I do that because if you wander off you're probably going to hurt yourself even more. Okay?"

The mage stared at the ground.

He didn't respond.

"Okay?" Yore repeated.

The mage didn't look up but he did nod.

"Great."

Yore stood up, his joints aching as he moved.

"My name's Yore, by the way. I'll be back soon."

[mokutone]

@tenzosnewleaf alas...he is a difficult man to bully!

#my art #yamato tenzo #kakashi #kakashi voice: if i use flattery well enough maybe i womt have to deal with admittedly well placed concerns #its innapropriate to use his affection and respect for you to evade his criticism kakashi! #tenzō is. very gullible. admittedly. when the stakes are low-but hes too annoyed to be flattered #also i feel like tenzō would be more sensitive to putting oneself in danger because for so long (and. honestly. still) his body was #not his own to injure or endanger. his body...his very existence in those formative years was orochimarus first...then danzō's...and if you #and if you look at the kinoe/tenzo scene in a certain light...its him expecting the same of the anbu and kakashi refuting it quietly #hello i am kinoe. the first. the fiirst hokages dna. i serve the third hokage now. and then kakashi: 'hm! dont like that! this is tenzō.' #all to say that i think kakashi being careless with himself would offend tenzō on a fundamental philosophical level... #even beneath his love and respect for the man himself #well these are just rambly thoughts. i will work on them more as i watch further

[macgyvermedical]

For the Last Time- Nerve Agents are NOT the Only Chemical Weapons: a “Golden Lancehead, Etc...” Science Review

So this one is probably going to be shorter than other ones I’ve done for this show, but having conveniently just refreshed my hospital decon team certification, taken a cumulative exam in EHS, and watched this episode (I’m a tad behind), I needed to do some talking on it.

Awl - X-Ray + Penny - Duct Tape + Jack - CD + Hoagie Foil - Guts + Fuel + Hope - Wilderness + Training + Survival - Father + Bride + Betrayal - Lidar + Rogues + Duty - Nightmares - Seeds + Permafrost + Feather - Friends + Enemies + Border - Mason + Cable + Choices - Bitter Harvest - Kid + Plane + Cable + Truck - Tesla + Bell + Edison + Mac -

To recap, after Oversight’s death from cancer (season 5 has an absolutely wild timeline so far), Mac seeks out the help of former classmate Frankie to help him develop a new treatment modality based on the venom of a very rare, critically endangered lancehead viper. The venom is extremely dangerous, and can also, it turns out, be chemically altered to become a very potent nerve agent. Frankie unknowingly provides the information to create the nerve agent to the episode’s bad guy, and the race is on to stop the agent from being released into an airport and poisoning a bunch of people.

Intro to the Golden Lancehead

Since the episode centers around the Golden Lancehead Viper, we should probably start by talking about what they are:

Bozer described the Golden Lancehead as “One of the rarest and deadliest snakes in the world. Found only on one island off the coast of Sao Paulo, the Brazilian Government has made it illegal to transport or own.” Then, quoting a nature documentary: “The golden lancehead’s venom targets the nervous system of it’s prey with pinpoint accuracy- causing blood blisters, intestinal bleeding, tissue necrosis, hemmorrhage...” 

Golden Lanceheads are a real type of snake that really do only live on a tiny island off the coast of Sao Paulo, Brazil. They are 28-inch-long, cream and yellow snakes with a lance-shaped head and a diamond-like pattern of scales.

The island, called Queimada Grande, is uninhabited and travel there is forbidden, an order enforced by the Brazilian Navy. This is both to protect the viper, which is listed as critically endangered, and to protect the humans- given the remoteness of the island and the danger posed by the wildlife, it would be very dangerous for rescuers to come find you if you became injured or were bitten by any of the multiple venomous creatures that live there.

In the episode, Mac and Frankie travel to a pet shop in Sao Paulo to collect a sample of the venom from an illegally acquired snake. In real life, there is a lucrative black market for the species, which can fetch up to $30,000 per snake, meaning Mac paying $20,000 for a sample of venom would not have been necessarily unheard-of.

The pet shop owner tells them that the person who ventured to the island died from a bite, describing it as (paraphrased) “his face swelled, blood poured from everywhere, and even though they cut off his arm to try to save him at the hospital, he died anyway.”

Due in all likelihood to the fact that the island is uninhabited and forbidden, there has never actually been an official documented bite in a human from this species (though unofficial reports suggest it can indeed be deadly). Chemical analysis of the venom indicates it is likely the most potent and fastest-acting venom of it’s genus, though it is likely a lot more effective at killing birds and large insects than mammals given its primary choice of prey.

Bites from other vipers in its genus run a mortality rate of between 3% (with medical care) and 7% (without medical care). Most of their venoms are made of many different sugar-like molecules called glycans which disrupt proteins in animal cells, often killing the cells. Lancehead venom is similarly cytotoxic, causing the death of cells in tissue and blood and disruption of normal blood clotting, causing severe bleeding. Symptoms include pain and extreme swelling of the area around the bite, followed by tissue death and symptoms of nausea, dizziness, headache, and sweating. Shortly after that, there is a disruption in blood clotting, causing severe bleeding throughout the body. This severe bleeding, along with kidney failure and bleeding into the brain, is typically what causes death in those 3-7% of cases. Occasionally amputation is attempted as part of treatment, but it is usually due to the extreme amount of tissue death that occurs surrounding the bite, not necessarily to stop the spread of the venom as alleged in the episode.

So basically, Bozer and his nature documentary are largely correct in where the Golden Lancehead lives, its legal restrictions, and the symptoms resulting from envenomation by lancehead vipers. The only thing that is not accurate is the neurotoxicity part- lancehead venom is hemotoxic (blood toxic) and cytotoxic (toxic to cells and tissues), but there is no indication that it causes any kind of neurotoxicity (brain toxic).

Cancer Treatment from Snake Venoms

In the episode, Mac describes the research he and Frankie are undertaking as “The therapy uses toxins extracted from snake venom, which billions of years of evolution have taught it to attack the weakest cells in a creature’s body to target cancerous tumors.”

One of the great things about snake venoms (and honestly animal venoms) is that they are not single toxins. A single snake’s venom has nearly a hundred different bioactive proteins, enzymes, glycans, and other chemicals. One of the great things is because so many of these toxins are bioactive in some way, venoms give pharmacologists a pallette of various bioactive substances already in existence that they can test and use to create drugs.

Several chemicals we use as drugs were originally discovered in snake venom. For example, enalapril (a blood pressure lowering medicine), eptifibatide (a blood thinner), hemocoagulase (a clotting agent), and ximelagatran (a blood thinner), were all discovered originally as components in snake venom. Some studies into king cobra and saw scaled viper venom has shown possible anti-cancer properties (in the form of drugs that prevent tumors from growing, prevent blood vessels from growing in cancer cells, and prevent cancer cells from spreading throughout the body), though none of these have been developed into therapeutic drugs.

Since there are literally hundreds of bioactive chemicals, enzymes, and proteins in snake venom, it’s definitely not impossible that someone could choose to do this research, and definitely not impossible that someone would be able to find something useful in treating cancer or any other disease. In fact, since the venom is so cytotoxic, there is a possibility that there is a compound in it that has a preference for certain cancer cells. The problems with what Mac says are mainly:

1. that as far as we know, nothing in venom would selectively choose cancer cells based on their “weakness”- generally drugs that do target cancer cells target the fact that they have mutated in a certain way that lets certain chemicals find them or that they are fast-dividing cells (similar to hair or skin cells) and fast-disrupted cells get killed first if a chemical disrupts cell division.

2. Snakes have only been around for 143million years, and venomous creatures have only been around for 170million years. Even one billion years is a LOT longer than that. Mac could have said hundreds of millions and it would still have been technically correct at least grammatically.

Chemical Weapons from Snake Venom:

So what about chemical weapons?

I mean, sure, if you consider that there are hundreds of chemicals in any snake venom, at least one of them is probably going to meet at least some of the criteria for a good chemical weapon. Whether or not that chemical weapon would count as a “Nerve Agent” is kind of up to the substance itself.

Chemical weapons are weapons that fall into one of the following categories:

Nerve Agents- these are things like VX, Sarin, Tabun, and other agents that attack the system that breaks down the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Without that system, too much acetylcholine builds up, causing constricted pupils, twitching, excessive saliva and mucous, eye pain, diarrhea, difficulty breathing, seizures, and death if not treated promptly.

Blood Agents- these are things like phosgene, arsine, and cyanide that disrupt the blood’s ability to transport oxygen through the body. These cause symptoms like difficulty breathing, dizziness, headache, increased heart rate and respiratory rate, nausea and vomiting, and eventually seizures and death.

Blister Agents- These are things like lewisite and mustard gas that cause severe irritation to skin, eyes, mucous membranes, and lungs. These cause symptoms of pain, redness and large blisters on skin, difficulty breathing and swelling/blisters in the lungs and airway, loss of vision, fever, and nausea/vomiting. Death either occurs due to swelling and blisters in the airway or infection.

Choking Agents- These are things like phosgene and chlorine that irritate eyes and airways. They cause symptoms of watering eyes, coughing, chest tightness, and nausea/vomiting. They eventually cause severe pulmonary edema which can cause death.

Incapacitating Agents- These are agents like LSD, BZ, and fentanyl which are not necessarily designed to kill their targets, but leave them unable to respond to an attack either by making them less conscious (BZ, fentanyl) or by causing severe hallucinations and delusions that prevent them from being able to carry out their normal duties (BZ, LSD).

While there are many neurotoxic snake venoms that are known to have chemicals that interact with acetylcholine (causing paralysis, respiratory failure, and seizures), as far as I was able to find, the lancehead viper genus is not one of them. In fact, despite what Bozer said, there’s not a lot of neurotoxicity at all in the Golden Lancehead Viper’s venom- it’s primarily hemotoxic and cytotoxic.

So, basically, while it might be possible to make a nerve agent out of certain types of venom (though why would you, exactly? We’ve got tons of nerve agents, we know a lot about them, and they’re not exactly hard to create in a lab.) it would be more likely that you’d be in the market to find a new blood agent, blister agent, or even a choking or incapacitating agent if you were using Golden Lancehead Viper venom to discover it.

Just seems like a lot of work when you could get potentially a lot more useful venom legally and less dangerously.

But the more I think about it, I think the writers chose the snake due to it’s difficulty to acquire and it’s mystery, the chemical agent due to it’s well-known-ness, and fudged things so they worked together in the story.

But Now, the Real Question:

Could snake venoms eat through metal using acid, and would ionizing radiation change that? 

“Here’s another fun fact- when a Golden Lancehead attacks, it’s venom reacts with the iron in the red blood cells of it’s prey, creating an acidic byproduct strong enough to eat flesh and corrode metal.” -Mac

Certain snake venoms actually do become more acidic or more alkaline in their victim’s bodies, and in the presence of certain metal ions. However, as far as I was able to tell, the most acidic a venom would normally become was about a pH of 4 (somewhere between soda and coffee) and the most alkaline was about 9 (somewhere around baking soda). So not really capable of “eating flesh” (though enzymatic activity could digest proteins in the victims’ tissues) and it would take a lot longer than the episode showed to cause the corrosion necessary to dissolve a lock.

That’s not to say that a specially designed and purified chemical weapon created from a compound in snake venom would be different than the og snake venom, but the likelihood that ionizing radiation would change it so drastically would be a real bummer for a terrorist, since uncontrolled releases of your weapons are definitely not ideal.

Conclusion:

Overall, there was definitely some real passable science in here, but some of the dialogue choices were so poor that it made it difficult to respect. But generally decent science, even if the “cooler” stuff wouldn’t necessarily have worked.

#MacGyver #MacGyver Reboot #whump reference #writing reference #chemical weapons #snakes #venom

[rjzimmerman]

How about an excerpt from Rachel Carson’s The Silent Spring? The book was published in September 1962. Excerpts from her book were published by The New Yorker in 1962, and here’s a snip from one of those excerpts. What she said in 1962 about the environment could just as easily be written yesterday about our current environment, including the climate crisis.

The history of life on earth is a history of the interaction of living things and their surroundings. To an overwhelming extent, the physical form and the habits of the earth’s vegetation and its animal life have been molded and directed by the environment. Over the whole span of earthly time, the opposite effect, in which life modifies its surroundings, has been relatively slight. It is only within the moment of time represented by the twentieth century that one species—man—has acquired significant power to alter the nature of his world, and it is only within the past twenty-five years that this power has achieved such magnitude that it endangers the whole earth and its life. The most alarming of all man’s assaults upon the environment is the contamination of the air, earth, rivers, and seas with dangerous, and even lethal, materials. This pollution has rapidly become almost universal, and it is for the most part irrecoverable; the chain of evil it initiates, not only in the world that must support life but in living tissues, is for the most part irreversible. It is widely known that radiation has done much to change the very nature of the world, the very nature of its life; strontium 90, released into the air through nuclear explosions, comes to earth in rain or drifts down as fallout, lodges in soil, enters into the grass or corn or wheat grown there, and, in time, takes up its abode in the bones of a human being, there to remain until his death. It is less well known that many man-made chemicals act in much the same way as radiation; they lie long in the soil, and enter into living organisms, passing from one to another. Or they may travel mysteriously by underground streams, emerging to combine, through the alchemy of air and sunlight, into new forms, which kill vegetation, sicken cattle, and work unknown harm on those who drink from once pure wells. As Albert Schweitzer has said, “Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.” It took hundreds of millions of years to produce the life that now inhabits the earth—aeons of time, in which that developing and evolving and diversifying life reached a state of adjustment to its surroundings. To be sure, the environment, rigorously shaping and directing the life it supported, contained hostile elements. Certain rocks gave out dangerous radiation; even within the light of the sun, from which all life draws its energy, there were short-wave radiations with power to injure. But given time—time not in years but in millennia—life adjusted, and a balance was reached. Time was the essential ingredient. Now, in the modern world, there is no time. The speed with which new hazards are created reflects the impetuous and heedless pace of man, rather than the deliberate pace of nature. Radiation is no longer merely the background radiation of rocks, the bombardment of cosmic rays, the ultraviolet of the sun, which existed before there was any life on earth; radiation is now also the unnatural creation of man’s tampering with the atom. The chemicals to which life is asked to make its adjustment are no longer merely the calcium and silica and copper and the rest of the minerals washed out of the rocks and carried in rivers to the sea; they are also the synthetic creations of man’s inventive mind, brewed in his laboratories and having no counterparts in nature. To adjust to these chemicals would require time on the scale that is nature’s; it would require not merely the years of a man’s life but the life of generations. And even this would be futile, for the new chemicals come in an endless stream; almost five hundred annually find their way into actual use in the United States alone. The figure is staggering and its implications are not easily grasped: five hundred new chemicals to which the bodies of men and all other living things are required somehow to adapt each year—chemicals totally outside the limits of biological experience.

#Silent Spring #Rachel Carson

[seraphine16]

Red Strings of Fate – Part 2/6

Part 1;

Prompt: Change

Summary: Soulmates are tied by red strings. You can cut yours if you want to, then you’ll be reassigned to someone else, someone who’s perhaps- better. But beware; If you cut it three times, you will end up alone for the rest of your life.

Rating: T for now, will be mild M in later chapter

Words: 1381

Notes: Thanks for the likes and reblogs on Part 1, really appreciate them *hugs* by the way, I think I will post the revised version on my AO3 because I usually need more than a day to edit hahaha ^^; Sorry for my slow writing problem. Enjoy and let me know what you think! :)

When Kaneki Ken first saw Kirishima Touka- his second soulmate, he was being nonchalant about it.

After all, he was almost eaten by his first soulmate- on their first date.

Not to mention he got turned into a half-ghoul also because of his so-called soulmate.

So when the string reappeared around his pinky finger a few days later, when he was still in utter shock and struggling to adjust to the changes on his ghoul body, he didn’t even notice.

And when he finally noted the string’s existence, he didn’t even bat an eye at it.

Even until three weeks later, when he discovered that his second string was tied to a rather cute girl, he decided not to take any drastic action.

So he just smiled politely, hoping she would understand that he was acknowledging her, but didn’t want to take their relationship further yet.

 Until she bluntly asked whether they should cut it off.

 No, he couldn’t risk it.

So he had to ask for a date. Just one date, to see if it was worthy to be cut off.

Else, he would end up with his third string. Which was still a huge risk considering his lack of experience with girls, because his third soulmate might cut it off too due to his boring personality, who knows?

Apparently, he had to thank his first soulmate, as the result of him becoming a half ghoul was what prevented Touka from cutting off their string.

Because she was planning to cut it if he were a human.

In the four months time they spent working at Anteiku, he started to get to know his soulmate better.

He took his sweet time to observe her, and realized what a hardworking student she was, how she valued Yoriko as her best friend as she ate the meal that was cooked for her even though they weakened her body, and how she was very attentive to Hinami and him and the rest of the Anteiku members. Beneath the cold and brash attitudes, she was actually very kind.

 In those four months, he had developed some desires within him.

The desire to become stronger, to have the strength to protect everyone around him.

The desire to protect his soulmate, whom he was scared if she died somewhere without him knowing.

Because she always took things into action more than he did, and he was always looking at her back. He felt useless. He wanted to be helpful too.

 When she came to Aogiri just to rescue him, fighting all by herself, beaten up and getting injured, he couldn’t help but feel extremely guilty.

She was beaten up, because of him.

She was in pain, because of him.

She was fighting with her brother, because of him.

All because of him.

 He determined to keep her away from him. For all he could give her was pain, and not a single happiness.

She deserved a normal life. She deserved a better guy. And most importantly, she deserved to live.

He couldn’t assure all of these if they were together.

For he had chosen a dangerous path in his life, and it would only endanger her- his soulmate, more.

 Which is why, he decided to cut the string.

It ended so soon before it even started.

She wasn’t just angry with him. Upset, disappointed, sad- every emotion bottled up, swirling like a whirlpool inside her.

After he escaped from Aogiri, he had the option to return to Anteiku, but he didn’t.

Instead, he left.

Forming his own group and leaving her- his soulmate, behind.

After six months of not meeting each other, with only a birthday present she received from him through Yoriko, he asked her to meet him at the bridge nearby Anteiku.

His snow white hair remained the same as six months ago when he decided to leave her. However, his expression changed drastically. Long gone the politeness on his features. Long gone the cute blushes on his cheeks when he was caught staring at her. Long gone the innocence on his face, it was replaced by a sorrowful look, anyone who saw him would know that he had suffered enough in his life.

Before they could even begin a proper conversation, her hand moved by itself.

She punched him.

Anger. Sadness. Frustration. Longing. All the emotion built up within her was channelized to him through her hard strikes.

Kaneki just stood still, accepting her punches as he knew the outcome of their reunion would bring her more pain than the beatings he received.

“Why? Why did you leave me?” She asked as tears brimming in her eyes. Without thinking, she hugged him. Crying her heart out on his chest.

She missed him. So badly. There wasn’t a day where she didn’t stare at the red string on her pinky finger and cried silently. Seeing the string led to an invisible path tortured her to the core, knowing that he was alive somewhere, but his exact location was unknown to her.

 But it was even more painful when she realized that he didn’t hug her back, or did anything to calm her.

 She pulled away, her eyes searching his grey ones.

“Kaneki?” She spoke so slowly, barely above a whisper.

“Touka-chan… I think, we should cut the string.” He plainly stated, it sounded cold to her ears as his face was showing no emotion at all. At all.

“What?” Were her ears playing tricks on her? “Did you realize what you were saying?”

“I don’t deserve you.” He added.

“W-w-what do you mean?” She stuttered.

“You deserve to be happy, Touka-chan.” He looked away from her teary eyes, unable to face her. “I can’t give you happiness.”

“Who gives you the right to decide that?” She exclaimed, her breath became noticeably shaky, she realized.

“It’s dangerous if you stayed with me.”

“But it’s not dangerous for Hinami? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

He remained speechless as he just stared at her, his jaw clenched tightly.

“Kaneki, if you do this, we-“

“I know.” His voice was raspy, croaky, his eyes staring deep into hers, filled with cold determination.

The moment he said it, the moment she looked into his eyes, she realized how serious he was. He didn’t ask her to come here asking for permission, he came here to inform her, because the string could only be cut in presence of both parties.

“I see. So I meant nothing to you.” her head hung low, tears threatening to fall again but she held it back. Showing tears would make her look more stupid, and she couldn’t afford that. Not in front of her soulmate who wanted to end their relationship.

She almost laughed to herself. What relationship? We didn’t even have a proper date.

 “I’m sorry.” He whispered as he took out a pair of scissors from his sling bag and placed his fingers into position.

She would have stopped him if she wasn’t in utter shock witnessing her very own soulmate cutting their string into two, severing their only connection with each other.

Helplessly, she watched in disbelief as the ribbon started to untie itself from her and his pinkies, falling slowly but disappeared before it even reached the ground, leaving their fingers bare.

 No more string connecting them together.

No more any chance of them ending up together.

No more reasons needed for her to keep on waiting for him.

For this action separated them eternally.

 “Goodbye, Touka-chan.”

Arima Kishou stared at the updated document in front of him, his expression changed slightly, though he was quick to conceal it.

Kaneki Ken. 19 years old. xx.

“Too bad, he’s cute.” A woman blurted out. “What are you going to do with him?”

“It’s none of your business, Eto.”

“Of course it’s my business. Don’t forget your place, Kishou.” She pulled his tie towards her, staring hard into his seemingly cold eyes behind the rectangle glasses. She held a more powerful position than him, so he had no choice but to follow her orders.

But he could always break the rules…

“I’ll take care of him.”

“Good.” She released her hold on his tie, her eyes shooting a warning glare at him. “Do your job properly this time, Kishou.”

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