#not in the sense that ur not allowed to have strong emotions abt it

[homophyte]

thank you for the long & thought out response. while i do fully agree with you on stances like prison abolition & the myth of the stranger pedophile scapegoat, my question and discomfort with jimmy’s actions comes not so much from a political/philosophical standpoint but from a very human emphatic one. i put myself in the shoes of the girl he groomed and abused and imagine people listening to and enjoying the music of my abuser and it makes me sick to my stomach. so thats more where my guilt and discomfort comes from. that said i can’t say that their music doesn’t have an impact or isn’t enjoyable. i also agree with you that this mass outrage and very public renunciation and demand for punishment is very much a social mechanism and automatic reaction that quite simplifies a complex situation. however these mechanisms exist for a certain evolutionary purpose after all (sorry my background is psychology) but thats sort of besides the point because im also not a fan of how these things get handled with zero nuance. 

its also true what you said that me or you or anyone deciding to disengage with this band or their music changes nothing in the grand scheme of things, so doing it as some sort of Noble Cause against abuse is useless. so in this case i feel it’s up to personal preference and whether or not i can swallow the cognitive dissonance and discomfort this information arises in me whenever i listen to their music from now on. 

thanks again for the insightful response, i’m glad we can have this sort of discussion because i also think this topic is extremely important but people often shy away from it because it’s so heavy. 

im glad you asked me to share! like i said ive spent a lot of time thinking abt this specifically so its very much like years worth of mishmash thoughts kinda strung together only by me experiencing them over time in succession lol. but i agree its important to talk about it especially within a culture so ensnared in the logic of the prison and particularly how effectively thats been exported into like 'mob justice' for lack of a better word.

re: the emotive aspect im not sure i have much to say other than like Yeah its a very strong one and i dont think its a bad thing at all to have. i got the impression from ur ask--and idk how true this is--that you were wrestling between a desire to return to the music bc you enjoyed it and that response preventing you and feeling a sort of obligation to do one over the other n struggling with that. so i think i approached it as like 'heres ways you can reason w that emotional response and grapple w it if its smth ur agonizing over' or something like that. im also a firm believer in the ways politics shapes the ways we think n feel so my instinct was to tease out some of the structures that may be shaping ur thought processes--which of course i nor anyone but you can fully know. but i dont get that same sense from how u describe it here and either way i think whatever feeling ur having about it is like...i dont want to say its 'valid' but ur allowed to have that and do whatever you want pretty much lol. i cant and am not going to force anyone to engage w the band and theres probably more reasons than i could think to list why its not for everyone even without the sordidness of abuse hanging over it.

without getting into a much much broader discussion i would gently push back on the idea of a biologically innate reason for the existence of carceral/punitive logics (and frankly psychology more broadly), if only bc it does a lot of the work of justifying them. keep in mind that these are concepts ideas and patterns of thought that exist because they serve systems of power and particularly the state. we did not have to have a society which created them, we only happen to--which is to say theyre not innate in this way and i disagree that they have an 'evolutionary' purpose bc it fails to properly historicize them. but thats me coming from an antipsych position lol

#asks #frankly for me its like....sometimes we do feel that emotional reaction n sometimes we dont #and im interested in where the difference is or where the line is drawn #some things are considered 'too big to fail' theres plenty of other much more influential musicians that have equal or worse allegations #but nowhere near the same response #and part of this is just 'size' its much more effective to do this to a smaller artist n a smaller community than like potential millions #of say michael jackson fans right. so part of this for me is yeah why does jimmy urine make ppl feel so strongly #and again part of it is 'size' msi is smaller its like 'cult classic' music for lack of a better word and its obviously evidently queer #so u can weaponize that extant fear of queer ppl and within the queer community of people fearing us #thats not to like diagnose that as something going on w u just that like....the emotional response itself is politically complicated #is what im going for here #so sorry i gave u a bunch a lot of stuff that may not have had anything to do with how ur feeling . i was thinking about other shit #im glad u appreciated though lol!

[flightnotes]

ahh this is late, hihi everyone i’m el (they/them) and i’m here to introduce my beloved meow meow minsol ❁ he’s pretty rough around the edges lol but maybe we’ll find something redeeming along the way ! here’s his bio, profile, inspo, and plots that once again ive failed to finish writing in time. unfortunately i’m rly busy today, but i still wanted to get this out so i’m not even later, and i fully intend to catch up on everyone’s intros tomorrow!!

background:

‘98, he/him, magpie familiar

adopted by a couple in a small town who didn’t know he was a familiar until he first shifted. he doesn’t know who his birth parents are but it never really concerned him

was pretty sheltered throughout childhood, used to be a lot softer and thought he could use what little powers he had to heal people, to heal the world

moved to jeju when he was 19, although it was less a “move” and more a “needed to be somewhere other than the place he grew up in,” and he had happened to hear that jeju was a safe haven for magic users. by then, he doubted there was really such a thing as safe -- but there must’ve been enough of an idealist left in him that he ended up here

a family took pity on him when he first arrived and allowed him to stay at one of their spare rooms in exchange for helping around their farm. after a few years, he scraped up enough to start renting his own place

his past is hidden behind like a level 10000 friendship lock tho you’re more likely to catch him making up lies abt his family than the truth 😭 

due to undisclosed reasons, his voice has a permanent rasp to it, and he’s used to people thinking he smokes or smth. it’s even more noticeable when he shifts and tries to chirp and it just sounds scratchy/hoarse

exterior/personality:

like any dutiful corvid, he’s very protective of his hoard aka a small compartment in his room where he keeps his precious shiny things. he likes things with a shine to them the most, but specifically things made out of glass or silver

if he likes something but not intensely enough to squirrel it away, he displays it around the apartment. his shelves and tables are full of glass figurines n he has too many silverware than he knows what to do with it’s starting to become a problem

used to love shifting to sing and talk with other birds (he didnt have many friends ok......). singing is a little difficult and sometimes painful if he strains himself now but he took up a job at the sanctuary because he wanted to feel that sense of belonging again. v protective of the animals there so treat them right or else

very into movies and music -- had a late start on pop culture when he finally moved out lol so he’s currently voraciously burning through the classic movies, esp ones with memorable soundtracks

started dabbling in musical composition as an alternative after ruining his voice and thinks it would be cool to score a major film someday

for now tho he shoots his own short "films” and composes little pieces for them. really wants to do more serious projects but like. doesn’t know how to begin/feels like it’s too late yk?

outwardly, he exudes a lot of ur typical uhhh mysterious bad boy persona LMAO but he thinks it beats being mistaken for weak and someone who can be taken advantage of, so he lets people think what they want ! 

close friends (does he have any????) probably see more of a tired, self aware, and sheepish version of him who, like....actually laughs..... prone to angry rants about literally the smallest thing and then talking himself out of it after bc he gets embarrassed when he’s caught experiencing a strong emotion

has a big thing against being used for his abilities, which has extended into a strong aversion to being touched without his permission. hasn’t used his ability for anyone else for five years now and is perfectly content to keep it that way for the time

him: [sets one boundary] yea im a bad bitch

for those reasons, he’s adamantly against bonding right now, but he thinks a pack would sound nice,, if he could actually allow himself to get close enough to people, at least -_-

some wanted connections:

someone from the family who first gave him a place to stay. i imagine they’d still be pretty close now, but alternatively it could be the opposite where they didn’t get along so well or the muse resented that their parents just took him in like that

someone who’s also very into filmmaking + preferably makes films of their own! i’d love for him to have someone whose work he’d feel really in awe of and actively want to make music for, and for them to build up a little resume of independent films they’ve worked on together

someone else who either works at the sanctuary or just shares the same protectiveness over animals. one day, they find an injured animal and end up helping nurse it back to health together and eventually re-release it into the wild

a poor muse who works or hangs around somewhere he often visits (music shops, cafes, diners) and is terrified of him/convinced he hates them bc of his resting bitch face, but part of the reason he’s a regular there is actually bc he enjoys their company

a fellow corvid who has a bit of a hoarding problem too. maybe they enable each other, support each other’s collections, or are actively trying to defeat the habit together 😭

a fellow familiar or witch who doesn’t want to bond either but feels the same pressure to. they could sympathize and grab a drink about it together

someone who sees through his enigmatic little act and can call him out on just being afraid of vulnerability :\

i’ll write these up properly with more on his plots page eventually! tysm if you made it this far and i can’t wait to see everyone on the dash soon ><!!

#mgc: intro #&&. intro.

[isdisorigionalenoughforyou]

Super sexy aa7 ideas that will never happen

*puts on my clown shoes

Themes: “the worst times are when lawyers have to smile their brightest, but you can’t be a lawyer 24/7” “sometimes (esp now) the system is WRONG”

CASE 1

Klavier Gavin prosecutes, because society has progressed beyond needing Paynes

And if the widespread complaint is that he’s too nice, this position is perfect

Make a witty remark abt feeling demoted >:(

Athena and Trucy dream team girls

Murder took place at a theater/has something to do with acoustics, to ~fit the characters~

Maybe Lamiroir was there 👀

Phoenix is once again a witness, but hes less infuriating. But still fucking funny infuriating

He mentions his college degree, vaguely. Pressing him reveals nothing.

Also address that TRUCY AND KLAVIER PROBABLY HAVE SOME TRAUMA FROM MURDERS AT THEIR PERFORMANCES

Defend a rando

The twist: the murder only could’ve been committed by someone with superhuman hearing, so Athena’s senses are vital here!!

End: the culprit tries to psychologically fuck with everyone, but Athena stays strong, maybe uses some noise cancelling headphones, and corners the SHIT out of them

Also, there’s a new judge. A higher judge than your normal judge, who is a boomer. BOOMER JUDGE

Post-trial: a comment about all them missing Apollo…

CASE 2

Athena vs Franziska von Karma

Athena calls her out on the whipping if that’s still a thing

[Maybe Trucy is there again for extra spice,,,] but Solo Thena would be EPIC

NEW FRANZISKA DESIGN

Maybe we can bring Maya back here, but NOT ACCUSE HER FOR MURDER

Or accuse her at the scene but quickly disprove it

Idk also address her trauma

Wow this is turning into ATHENA CYKES- ACE THERAPIST

Put Simon there too because he’s hilarious

Maybe him and Maya are casually attending Comic-Con for the Steel Samurai panel

Defendant: some toxic celebrity with DRAMA

the twist: the murderer was targeting several high-profile ppl, but only killed like. A janitor instead. They aren’t found OR arrested, but you get a not guilty by… indicting their accomplice. And it HURTS but you have to or its your not-guilty kinda-a-dick client that gets guilty

New judge plays by the written rules, so u can’t ague ur case

Franziska is skeptical of the Accomplice’s guilt, but she lets the verdict go because your client is innocent.

Athena cries to Phoenix about how she feels like she fricked up b/c she empathizes with the accomplice but also everyone, Phoenix does his best dad comfort—this is the truth that’s allowed in the confines of their court system.

CASE 3

NARUMITSU DATE

Open with a call from Maya. She loudly thanks the god/the holy mother for this

MURDER!!! AT THE VENUE  

Kay and Sebastian are there

GUMSHOEEEEE (OLDER SPRITE??? Higher salary?? Maggey too?)

Classic Wright vs Edgeworth

All the options are flirty

Everything is an innuendo

Trucy co-council is embarrassed by ur Old Man Flirting (NEW SPRITES)

Lampshade conflict of interest what with dating opposing council. Gloss over it completely

Phoenix’s college degree is vaguely mentioned to be helping him. This is Not elaborated on

The murder is some crazy shit that basically parodies the whole series

TWO SETS OF EVIL TWINS

3 cross poisonings and with INTERESTING results of chemicals mixing (Ema: 👀)

All the dying messages were faked

Handedness contradiction.

Some gross old guy appears, but you can punch him

The murder weapon goes from bloody knife with defendants fingerprints on it to glass shards of a broken bottle to an icicle to an overly spikey piece of hair

EXTRATERRITORIAL RIGHTS

For extra funnies: BOOMER JUDGE IS NOT USED TO THIS. They are the straight person of this comedy clown case.

For extra feels (the twist): Phoenix actually has an emotional breakdown on one of the investigation days. Maybe Trucy gets put at risk again, or something with poisoning, or even something with Kay or Seb (to show how much Phoenix cares, in general) and we address all the shit that he’s gone thru

Awkward comforting by miles

HUG SPRITE/ART

CASE 4

(shoves Klavier into Khura’in) GO FAKEGERMANBOY GO

Play as Apollo (khura’inese clothes sprites)

KLAVIER CO-COUNCIL (CASUAL SPRITES?? Put his hair up in a bun capcom im begging)

ADRESS AA4

Maybe at the end of one investigation, theres just. A heartfelt talk.

Ok ill make it heavy (b/c if its lighthearted these fuckos will never talk about their feelings)

LAMIROIR IS HERE TOO??

TRUCY ALSO- im sorry truce im shoving you everywhere because I want you to develop

maybe she and Klavier are like, performer bros

Apollo is happy that Trucy is but also feels alienated, like AA6 totally pulled him from his AA4 roots [COUGH]

CASUAL TRUCY SPRITE??? I would cry capcom

Nahyuta, Rayfa, and Apollo being awkward but trying (and mostly succeeding) siblings, Amara being a scary but p good queen momther

FRANZISKA INTERNATIONAL PROSECUTING??? Idk it’d be epic tho

She roasts Klavier so bad

Though he is very smart so she just roasts his terrible German

Resolve the Gramarye siblings here?

Include something with gender dysphoria to contrast how they butchered Robin Newman???

This is huge headcanon territory here tho

The Twist: realizing that this case cannot POSSIBLY be resolved in 3 fucking days. Also that Apollo is so backlogged that hes stressed and he probably needs help

Also someone tries to frame Klavier with his Gavinners-brand shoeprints

End: answer yes/no to Klavier working at Justice Law Offices. The choice affects his dialogue with Apollo in 7-5

CASE 5

Some fuckin. International level scandal

Elaborate on whatever the fuck “the phantom” was spying for? btw is the same that the culprits froms 7-2 and 7-4. maaybe 7-1?

And it involves MORE AUDITORIUMS

Open w/ calling Trucy, whos in the states. She mentions that Klavier casually got a Japanifornian defense attorney badge. Cue exasperation/fondness/incredulity (I promise this is relevant)

In Khura’in

Starts small- like a robbery, which leads to an attempt on Thalassa’s life. Again

Athena gets to therapy her

Then someone high-profile actually fucking dies

Athena (co-council Apollo) vs FINAL BOSS FRANZISKA

Lots of investigating with them

Talk about space center and grief

The twist: a person with low emotional output is framed, but they are innocent because LOWER EMOTIONAL REACTIONS DOESN’T MAKE YOU FUCKING EVIL

The other twist: Bring in 7-2 framed person for a character witness, show that they’re innocent. Athena is panicking because of Fear(?) so Apollo is determined to Do Something, and points out how this only happened because the system is Stupid and calls Klavier and Trucy

BECAUSE:

At the same time, there’s a stateside investigation. some botched, continued interreference at the Space Station

Klavier can pull an Edgeworth and investigate with Trucy

With parently narumitsu

Klavier talks about Apollo a lot, Trucy calls him out on it

Nahyuta is prosecuting this case

Depending on the relations between Klavier and Nahyuta established in 7-4, this will be hilarious or disastrous

Protective Yuty route: makes scathing comments about petty parts of Klavier- a petty-off

Teasing Yuty route: brings it up whenever Klavier talks about Apollo. Rlly funny banter. Klavier showing more human emotions sprites!!

Revisit the Space Center and get emo. Simon is here, arguing with Nahyuta

Because the cases go to trial simultaneously, the comment about the wrong conviction in 7-2 can be brought to the Japanifornian courts by Klavier and Trucy

They argue that Athena was forced to do that to spare an innocent and press HARD for legal reform

They call in Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth for reforms??

They also start a twitter war (that can be investigation minigame) and get public opinion up abt it

Yuty vouches for change, w/ khura’in as evidence

SO AA4 CAN GET KINDA RESOLVED!!

DUNK ON BOOMER JUDGE

BONUS: CASE 6: TURNABOUT CHILLOUT

Phoenix vs Franziska

Larry time

Scruffy time

Idk man. No more international stuff, just good old fashioned cleaning up ur shitty dad’s messes amiright

Resolve things with the Shelly card?

oldbag cameo but you file a restraining order

help trucy and pearls with college

TLDR: Athena actually tracks an international conspiracy that has weight, the AJ gang once again changes the system, Phoenix gets emotional resolution, Franziska helps international stuff AND gets emotional resolution, and i finally stop trying to throw hands with capcom. 

#ace attorney #aa7 #athena cykes #franziska von karma #narumitsu #now that ive got my cheeseball tags out of the way! #*cries* #trucy wright #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #klavier gavin #apollo justice #klapollo #kinda #and miles is in this even LESS than nick but i dont want phoenix tag to get lonely #oops accidental aj2 kinda

[gamespritearchive]

yes i like fullmetal alchemist brotherhood a normal amount (<- lying) this post is going to be long so open the readmore at ur own risk

ok this is genuinely going to be a mess because im really terrible at summarizing things and organizing my thoughts so if ur actually gonna read through this then good luck!

here are just some short thoughts before the longer paragraphs

- i absolutely LOVE the note that plays right after the alchemists clap their hands together that indicates that theyre abt to use alchemy. the sound of the clap + the note that plays is incredibly satisfying

- the strong and well-written female characters in this show was a really good touch and i loved how they brought them (izumi and olivier) together at the end :') also their beefy husbands together was super nice too

- my favorite part of the story was actually the part where ed and al go to briggs because thats wher they introduced olivier. it was super nice to see her talk about how strong-willed she is and her army and all of that

- lan fan is another example of a strong female character but a little less favorable since she serves ling yao. that doesnt make her any less cool though she was super badass and i definitely cried over her more than once

- the details in this show was really nice. alphonse's body being malnourished was something that seemed really obvious, but the fact that when ed got his right arm back it was noticeably less muscular and had longer nails than his left was such a good detail

- in the last episode there was a scene where alphonse made a dumb face that was animated just like how ed's faces looked and that made me really happy that we finally get to see al emote just like his brother :')

- im pretty sure i cried through the entirety of the last episode because being able to see the characters laugh and smile without feeling burdoned by anything after youve seen them go through repeated heartache and physical pain for 63 episodes is a super nice feeling

- "i'm a terrible father but i want to make you two proud" .

- "i'll give you half of my life and you give me half of yours" UGH

- also right after this when ed was laughing at how flustered winry got because normally hes the one who gets flustered :') that was so sweet

- i literally guessed that it was morse code whenever they showed selim banging on al's head because its like why would they put so much emphasis on that and let it go on for like 10 seconds without any music over it. this happened like multiple times too and i guessed it before they made it incredibly obvious bye im the smartest guy alive

ok heres where i talk more besties lets go

fmab was absolutely worth watching 64 episodes. i was convinced that i probably wont finish it because i have trouble finishing 12 episodes but as it may be obvious i got super invested. fmab being this long allowed there to be enough time to explain aspects of the story separately and to watch them all come together at some point. it also allowed for a ton of details that even though they're small, they're still important to the story. they rehash a lot of points because it was a simple detail that could get lost through the story but when its rementioned and you recall the time, it's such a nice feeling to have that click in ur mind.

also the character development was really good and ill get more in-depth about characters later but the length of this anime also allowed for a ton of really good character development. it ties into the whole thing where you learn about a characters backstory and you don't understand why it's important to the show until later on and then you're like ohhhh holy shit that makes sense now! also all that time for character development also lets you get attached to more than just the main characters and makes you care more about the role they play in the story.

roy mustang. at first i liked him, but when he started to speak about how he wanted to become the fuhrer president before he knew the military was corrupt, i assumed that he would just become as corrupt as bradley was ("starting wars for no reason"). i was convinced for the longest time that he would eventually just turn out to be the second bad guy and that nearly came true whenever he was trying to kill envy but riza helped him :) i loved the entirety of their relationship they're so sweet and compliment eachother so well. the scene where roy demonstrates the sheer amount of trust he has in riza's abilities by blindly (heh. he was blind during this if u didnt know.) following her directions and hitting their target ... it was just so good. also even though i didnt trust roy i thought he was super badass the sound of him snapping was always super satisfying as well

i almost want to rewatch fmab because it would be really nice to pick up on things that were later referenced in the anime. because of how long it is, its super easy to forget about things that happened early on in the anime (especially for someone with memory issues lol) so being able to watch back with the second half of the show still fresh on my mind would be almost an entirely different experience. the first thing that comes to mind is whenever we were shown kimblee in prison super early on. i know he had dialogue but i remember nothing about it because i was focused on thinking "literally who the fuck is this guy lol" but now i know. wow.

edward elric. im aware that this is going to be incredibly biased but i literally do not care. anyways. character development is always important and needed within a story but i genuinely feel like ed's character development was interesting to watch. it was never super obvious and his core values never changed. he did somewhat have a change in attitude when he nearly died to kimblee, but thats like expected you know ... being that close to death and all. i think that event was essentially the beginning of the end of his naivety. he was always consistent with the people he cared about though :) he never stopped calling them stupid and weird and he never stopped threatening to punch hohenheim whenever he was frustrated even if they were like in the middle of like a life or death situation. i just think he's neat

when ed destroyed pride('s vessel) i felt my heart well up with. pride LOL. that was his very first explicit win against someone who has been against him this entire time, and seeing him defeat pride with his own two hands was such a nice feeling. it wasnt technically his own win since he was only able to get to that point because of his friends and family around him

episode 60 was suuper good it was the part where the father was gonna swallow god because of the solar eclipse. its super hard to explain if uve never seen it but basically the scene was super cool simply because of how well the animation showed the sheer scale of what was happening. like this guy was literally reaching to the moon. theres a lot of unnatural things that are shown in fmab and although this scene didnt introduce any new concepts, it was still incredibly captivating because of how well the animation was

aand thats it i think! i regret not writing down how i feel during the earlier episodes but i think watching it with little to no distractions was a better experience. if u actually read this im giving u a kiss on the cheek rn ilu

#i dont expect anyone to read this btw this is purely for myself #i hate proofreading shit so dont look at anything too closely

[angeltrapz]

OK we’ve both touched on it but yr post reminded me, wld LOVE 2 hear more on ur thoughts re: a Rigg&Gibson&Perez friendship squad !!!

YEAHHH god I love them!!! Three people with the biggest hearts and strong moral compasses who want to help the people... these three would get along so well I know this in my heart.

I like to imagine them as the kind of friends that all congregate in someone's apartment every Friday night and they just chill together and talk about anything and everything. Sometimes Kerry is there because I like to think about her as Perez's gf, which is a whole other layer of comfort + fun bc Rigg is super close to her too!! Those nights are kinda like. Double date nights without going out. Whether Kerry is there or not, though, the main thing is its just a way to relax around ppl you're comfortable around + care about.

Another thing I think about is that I think Perez + Gibson probably have similar senses of humour? I can't explain why I feel this so strongly I just do. Not quiiite to Gibson + Brit levels, but just about - sometimes they drive Rigg nuts w how snarky they can be with each other. He loves them both so much though and he knows its all jokes so he's mostly just fond about it lmao. If Gibson catches his eye its just heart eyes the whole time,, Perez notices this too + she thinks it's adorable. I love them!!!

And ohhh can you imagine them as a trio of vigilantes though. People who have been drawn into the Jigsaw case whether they wanted to be or not (and they definitely didn't want to) and lost so much because of it. Perez lost Strahm. Rigg & Gibson, though not in the same way, lost Hoffman. There's so much potential there and honestly? I think all three of them deserve to go ape shit on someone's ass (preferably Hoffman or even John, though obviously that's not. An option). I think the three of them working together could definitely organize something, and I think that they'd work together well as a unit. I've been thinking abt that one a lot actually bc of our Strahm/Adam discussions <3

I like to think that Gibson and Perez (+ Kerry as, ideally, she would still be around) try to help Rigg while he's going through it in IV... Gibson would be too technically but. He knows how hard it's all hitting Rigg because it's hitting him too. At that point they wouldn't know Hoffman was an apprentice yet so like the reveal that he's a part of Rigg's test? With Eric? There would be so many conflicting emotions but ultimately neither of them want Hoffman to be hurt like that.

Branching off of this, at the end of everything when Art yanks Eric off of that ice block and Hoffman turns out to be fucking Fine, that's kind of when Rigg realizes what's happening and it's like. He loved this man. He really really did. And he had a hand in what was done to him, to ERIC, to countless other people and I think Hoffman lets them (Rigg, Eric, + Art) fuck off as we've discussed b4. He can't look Rigg in the eye but he tells him to go. He passed. They all did. They won, so they can leave.

He and Gibson are messes for a while, for more than that reason alone, naturally. Kerry + Perez are there for them every step of the way bc holy shit. Things could have gone so so wrong and they almost did. They kept Eric captive for six months. Rigg had to do things that are going to haunt him, regardless of if it was for his safety. Perez got a face full of shrapnel and genuinely thought that was going to be it for her. These people could have been torn apart in the worst way possible and now that they haven't, they have to deal with the fallout.

In turn, I think Rigg and Gibson are there for Perez when Strahm is injured in the water cube trap + later killed (though I suppose it depends on how you want that to go, i.e. whether Strahm also survives or not) and they help her to cope with being made not to inform one of her Best Friends of her survival bc I hc them to be VERY close. It would kill her not to be allowed to tell Strahm she was relatively alright. Gibson + Rigg (+ Kerry, of course) are there to reassure her and keep her updated on his condition.

If this is a scenario in which this happens, they're also right at her side when Hoffman tries to string others along into believing Strahm is the Jigsaw accomplice (knowing Strahm already has to be dead, which is just Devastating for Perez) because they know it's not him. They have undeniable proof that it isn't him. The three of them cannot be ignored by Erickson when they all have the same story. Can you imagine the three of them being the ones to take Hoffman out then and there? They make sure they have backup before they even lead him down to that room with Sachi + decode the Seth Baxter tape. No one dies in that room except the persona that Hoffman has built. It ends there in that room - at least, on Hoffman's side of things.

Basically I think it would be good for all three of them to have friends like that!!

#rigg #gibson #perez #saw #asks #srry the reply was so late!!! im working on yr other ask too 💖 the storms here keep knocking my internet out hfjdjdjs #also consider: them telling perez abt hoffman who has never liked him... and then he ends up being a bastard #n shes torn btwn like. I love you two so much I am so sorry & I Knew smth was wrong w him!!! bdjsklhdksk #also!!! fun fact yr the one who made me consider perez/kerry so ty for tht actually <3 #the fanfics im writing in my head grow stronger... #edited bc I had more thoughts!!! #also wrt them telling perez abt hoffman: tht wld be after the whole 'hoffman shoots a man in front of gibson' mess

[sunsetsover]

give us a rundown of ur thoughts about tonight's ep it's what we deserve

this is cute bc my rambly ass thoughts very rarely make sense and are just me screaming into the void generally but if u want it who am i to deny u!!!! also im sorry i know i promised u this yesterday but i had Stuff going on but anyways we’re here now!!!!

ok firstable let me direct u towards this post bc i have not stopped thinking abt it for the past few days and i cba to type it all out again but... Yeah

and actually i think i have MORE to add bc i just cannot get over how young ben looked throughout the whole scene like!!! and not even just his face (even tho his face looked so young too) but his body language!!! sittin there on his knees with his hands between his thighs looking so emotional and YOUNG and vulnerable like its fuckin me up sm

esp the way ben looked at callum’s hand when he signed ‘ok’ i think it was a moment of clarity for ben like he’s finally realized that callum is committed he’s in it for the long haul he’s willing to adapt and has already started!!! i feel like in a way it was a call back to when ben asked callum to prove that he really did love ben and that was ben realizing that callum HAS been proving it this whole time

and there’s smth to be said abt the fact that he could only allow himself to BE that overtly vulnerable BECAUSE callum had his eyes closed. like you can see the moment callum opens his eyes and looks at him ben catches himself and tries to put his walls back up and move on like none of it ever happened !! bc he’s scared of vulnerability!!! in his life vulnerability has always meant pain!!! but he’s trying!!!! he’s getting there!!! slowly but surely!!!

and the fact that callum knew exactly what ben was doing and why he was doing it and didn’t let him!!! not in a forceful way it was just like look at me!!! it’s fine!!! you’re safe!!! i love you too!!!! which only overwhelmed ben MORE to the point where he didn’t know what to do but kiss callum like god!!!!!!!!! god

callum telling him he loved him in sign!!!! the fact that that means callum has been sitting there in his flat googling ‘how to say i love you in sign’ and watching youtube tutorials and practising his signs wow rip

and everything callum said to even get to that point !!!!!! literally every word out of his mouth !!!! the fact that he apologised and said he didn’t mean to make ben feel bad was so important!!! the fact that he told ben how strong he is!!! and how amazing he is!!! and how amazing it is that he’s handling everything going on atm!!!! and telling ben that phil isn’t anywhere NEAR as strong as ben is and that if he doesn’t want anything to do with ben then that’s HIS problem not ben’s like that’s all i’ve ever wanted ANYONE to tell ben !!! i’ve wanted ben to hear that for so long!!!! and the fact that it was callum telling him those things and in such a beautiful vulnerable moment and the fact that callum assures him that even if he doesn’t have his dad at his side callum is there!!!! and he will continue to be there!!! just fuck off im crying and im never going to stop

i know i said it in my other post but the fact that ben bought so many presents for callum’s birthday and got up in the middle of the night to wrap them and they’re all in different paper........... like once they get more in tune with each other’s love languages it’s over for us bitches

the fact!!!!!!! that ben telling callum he loves him!!!!!! put tears in callum’s eyes!!!!!! it made him want to cry!!!!! bc he knows!!!!! he knows it’s not an easy thing for ben and he knows ben means it and just!!!!!!!!! that has fucked me up sm u don’t even know

and just the absolute poetry in the fact that in that moment callum can’t see and ben can’t hear like they’re restricted and yet they’re communicating anyway and vikki summed it up way better than i ever could but there’s just this undercurrent of just like.... seeing and hearing each other properly and being honest even tho they CAN’T see/hear each other and whew it’s a lot

the way you can hear ben’s breath shaking as he kisses callum like he’s so overwhelmed!!!!!!!! my baby!!!!!!!!

literally i’m never ever going to be over the vulnerability and the love and the honesty in that moment

and the second scene!!! the way they were just laying there looking at each other!!!!!!!!!!! they were just laying in bed and staring at each other until the early hours in the morning like can u imagine being that in love w someone that u just wanna lay there and look at them?? wish i could relate

ben apologising to callum!!!!!!! was so important!!!!!! acknowledging that he’s been a prat !!!!! but then explaining it’s bc he doesn’t really know how to be vulnerable like can u believe it was just 2 scenes but we got so much #blessed

(also callum telling ben he hasn’t been a prat which he HAS but it was callum’s way of saying ‘i know, i get it, i understand, i forgive you’ all rolled into one bye)

the way ben stroked callum’s hair and face as he apologised....... the way callum literally just reached out and touched ben’s cheek bc he needed to touch him....... and the way ben leaned up into callum’s hand....... yeah.gif

callum firmly telling ben needs to learn sign language!!!! he get’s it and he forgives ben, BUT changes have to be made and one of those is ben learning sign language!!! and yeah ben goes to make a (probably rude) sign w his hands (and the way callum instantly reacts tells me that whatever he was gonna do, it wasn’t the first time lmao) but he doesn’t argue or resist he just accepts it which!!!! growth!!!

ben looking at callum like this goodbye

callum’s thoughtful gift!!!! a watch that vibrates!!!!!! best boyfriend in the world award goes to callum highway

the fact that ben was like WELL SEEING AS THO WE’RE GIVING GIFTS and let callum open one of his 15 presents :-(

‘officer highway breaking all the rules ay?’ does he ever stop

it’s just the way the whole bed scene was just so soft and intimate but still THEM u know w the banter and the teasing like it didnt feel ooc it just felt like them :-(

and last but by no means least: ben saying ‘we’ll make a mitchell of you yet’ and the way callum just smiled and looked at ben???? like he can’t quite believe it??? which mood bc i can’t either??? i’m literally gonna be in my grave thinking about it like i don’t know how im ever supposed to move on

ben is going to make a mitchell of callum one day they’re going to get married thank you and goodnight

#ballum #eastenders #im dead serious i've not stopped thinking abt callum mitchell since the ep aired #anon #question

[justkpopjokes]

Nice to Meet You, Angel. || Demon!Joshua

Ft. Joshua/Jisoo(s Chri—actually no, the complete opposite)

Anon: Demon Joshua😏

A/N: This AU has gone through 4 whole plot rewrites rip. kinda inspired by Good Omens!! (also 2 aus in a week?? whaaaaaat)

!! This is a gender neutral!reader fluff with 1945 words~ !!

Before we begin the plot, lemme quickly go through the basics of the universe

yayy lin’s doing world building again

there are angels and demons in the universe, simply just the optional jobs of people’s souls once they die

if they choose this job, they don't remember much of their life on Earth, but they do remember events they associate w/strong emotions bc it helps them

for ex. an angel could remember how sad a death made them feel so they know to prevent it

and a demon can remember how angry a bully made them felt so they can make people that level angry

both angels & demons take the form of their bodies when they were alive and roam on Earth

they can also return to Heaven/Hell and observe Earth from their respective realms

also yes demons can be summoned, but lmao you can also just give em a phone call via incantation

the angel equivalent to this phone call is praying

demons can pretty much do anything as long as it relates somehow to the Seven Deadly Sins (pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth)

angel powers are more holy/good, and they can grant things in prayers if they choose, etc

Anyway, YOU KNOW THIS BOI??

THiS bOi sHUa

he's chill af for a demon ok

one of the first demons so like no one really knows how he’s a demon bc he’s so polite

there’s some speculation that he was one of the first to fall but like

what the hell did he do???

But also some say he became a demon out of spite bc he saw a demon commit a “sin” that actually helped someone

so he became a demon just to help people in a more… unholy way

and then he was upset angels hated him just because he was a demon

like wow spirit discrimination

NOW YOU—

you are an angel (literally)

you’re the angel that protects like. atheists/"non-believers" bc c'mon just because they don’t believe in God/gods doesn’t mean they shouldn't have access to that protection service

(yes hello you’re calling APS, the Angel Protection Service sponsored by God, how may I help you?)

so yeah you’re pretty chill yourself since you have to constantly deal with people who don't believe in you lol

One fine day, you were listening to a prayer from a sick college student

ok it wasn't really a prayer but they were like "oh please, my god, let me get some sleep tonight"

you gladly put them to sleep and they slept soundly at night

when you checked on them the next morning, you noticed—

A dEmON?!?

…lying right next to the student (but above the covers, he has boundaries), who isn't stirring at all

if the leather jacket and ripped jeans didn't tip you off, he had some horns on his head to confirm ur suspicions

You: "Hey what in the world are you doing here?!"

???: "What? If they get up rn they won't be able to pay attention in class. I'm letting them rest first"

You: "Wha—who—okay, okay okay… who are you?"

"I’m Joshua, nice to meet you, angel"

Shua knows he has the name of an angel so afterwards he's like. Don't get it confused bish.

you ask him what he's doing, and basically, he's using the sin sloth on this sicko student so they stay in bed and recover instead of going to class

Even tho you feel iffy abt letting a demon affect a human right in front of you, an angel, you are a bit intrigued

you haven't seen a demon use their powers for good before…

who is this guy??

anyway he disappears, presumably to Hell, once the student needs to wake up

which is when u miracle them some bread to get

But don't worry, you're destined to meet again~

which you did, on several occasions

and ok maybe you were glad to talk to someone who was actually interesting

so, yknow,,, if another angel was like "hey y/n uhh there's a demon… bothering? someone? idk but it's a non-believer, that's ur jurisdiction right"

you had a guess on who this demon was…

…and you were right

Joshua: "Oh hey angel"

You: "Ew, you make it sound like a pet name"

JS: "Well I don't know your name, do I?"

You: "Oh. Right. It's Y/N."

he still calls you angel tho, smh that flirt

y'all just bicker and/or chat for a bit whenever u go help the same person

Like one time when he insisted that you let him use gluttony on a teen so they'd eat a lot of ice cream that day

they had just been through a bad break up so u let it slide

Or another time he used wrath on a timid kid so they could stand up to a bully

all of these ended w/you two bickering while walking away

There was this little girl you were watching from heaven who was writing a letter to "Whoever Can Do This"

little girl started listing a bunch of things, which you assumed were toys

but then you realized it was actually stuff like food, friends, a puppy, a loving dad who will go out to the park with her—

so u go down there to check on this lil child

…and that's when you see a familiar leather jacket watching over her and suggesting other things to write

you can’t see him from heaven so ur like gosh darn it I should’ve known

"Joshua?? I should've known it was—"

*cue both shua and the child turning around*

JS: "Oh hey, nice to see you, angel"

Lil' Nugget: *GASP* "Mr. Josh is this ur s/o???"

JS: "Hm? Oh, I mean, no, but um…"

You: "Josh what have u been putting into this one's head…"

Shua's all like "greed! Her dad's been ignoring her since her mom died so we're writing a list of things she wants"

then the smol girl smiles so wide and is like "Mr. Josh is helping me! He's my new friend!!"

ur like awww dangit ok I'll let it slide if u let me help

Once she finishes it, Josh hands the girl's list over to you

he explains quietly he wants you to miracle her dad to pay attention+love his daughter again so they can have/do all the other things on the list

you read it over again and do just that

The little girl gives the list to her father, your miracle allowing them to have a fun afternoon eating ice cream and playing with her toys

And you and Josh have a nice time too~

once y'all left that girl's room, he invited you for some soda

"Coke? I hope you mean Coca Cola"

"Yeah, uh, there's a place with a vending machine not too far from here. We can walk"

You don't spend time on Earth often, but you learn as you walk w/Josh that he "prefers the air up here"

mainly bc he doesn't fit in with the other demons, but he also just likes spending time with humans

(obviously tho he needs to go down to hell occasionally for like conferences and such)

you don't remember if you've ever been on a date before lol

Josh doesn't either, but he does remember how jumbled up ur emotions get, which he is not ready for

then again of course he has, I mean look at that charm

however, you can't remember if the feeling you get when going on ur little date with Shua is love :/

it isn’t really, but just bc this is ur first “date,” so it makes sense

But Josh makes sure to take you out again… for dinner!!!

you were investigating the use of lust and pride at the same time

of course, it was just Josh helping a guy find someone to hook up with

you were kinda disgusted and wanted to leave, so shua gladly took your arm and pulled you away to a restaurant!

y’all had a nice dinner, paying with some money Josh had collected

and then you went to walk together and chat some more

he’s breathtaking, and he actually wants to spend time with you despite y’all being on opposite sides of an inevitable war

You don’t care, going on more dates just to talk and not have to care about ur jobs and other stuff

Shua hears you yell “what the hell” at some point and he’s like woAH you can say that???

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not really polite, but I can. Can you say ‘Thank God?’”

“‘Thank God?’ Well look at that, I can. Good point”

you love him because he’s so chill and doesn’t give a f*** abt anything

except you and humans, apparently

like he could’ve burned or smth by saying “Thank God” or be confined to the basement of Hell for helping people/talking with you, but he doesn’t care lmao

However, no one really knows you’ve been talking with a demon tho so uhhh

when they do you get in a little bit of trouble w/the archangels

ur boss was essentially like “y/n what the HECK are you doing?!? you’re on thin ice rn”

you get mad at him, trying to defend Joshua

and you’re right in doing so, since he just wants to help people with a different set of powers

ur archangel boss sends you back down to Earth, saying you can’t return to Heaven until they work smth out

(they probably want to burn you with Hell fire)

You warn Josh, knowing they might burn you

he’s adamant on keeping you with him, so y’all try to hide or smth

which won’t work of course, but you can try, right?

right?

Shua and you sit together on a bench, with you leaning on his shoulder

“Joshua… I’m scared, I don’t want to be burned!”

“Don’t worry y/n, it’ll be okay. I love you, angel, nothing bad will happen”

and just like that, you remember what it feels like to love

“You’re right. I love you too. Help the non-believers for me if I go, alright?”

“I’ll help them just for you.”

Your archangel boss is smart, knowing the worst punishment for you is to be reincarnated without memories

you wouldn’t remember Joshua at all

and when he drags u back up to Heaven, you want to cry

do angels cry holy water? anyway

you’re sent back to Earth as a baby that can’t fend for itself

You remember nothing.

You’ve recently graduated from college and are out looking for a job

you’ve gotten rejected and fired so many times

for ex. just now, after you were arguing with someone who spoke another language that you didn’t know and there was no translator available

the customer wasn’t willing to cooperate either, ignoring your attempts to use an online translator smh

it’s late and you’re tired, so you leave, angry, and start coughing frantically when you inhale too much smoke coming from the alley next to you

naturally, you’re like “What the hell?! Dude, you’re not supposed to be smoking this close to an entrance!”

“Why do you care? You don’t work here anymore”

you take a better look at the stranger once he steps into the light of a nearby lamppost

it’s a dude in a leather jacket and ripped jeans who drops his cigarette

“Need help getting a job, y/n?”

“how do you—what—who are you?”

he extends a hand out to you, which you shake reluctantly

“I’m Joshua. Nice to meet you, angel.”

#seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen joshua #joshua imagines #joshua scenarios #joshua hong #hong jisoo #joshua fluff #i never know what to tag josh's fics smh #jkj fics

[dragimal]

ok this is like. MAJORLY self-indulgent, self-psychoanalyzing rambling so I’m putting it under a readmore, but my thoughts have been spinning in circles over this for like. practically my whole teen/adult life. and I just need to put it down somewhere

idc if anyone wants to read this or respond or anything, again I’m just basically trying to vomit out my thoughts until something makes sense

so like. anxiety. I know I have it, that’s the ONE Problems Disorder I’m 100% certain I’ve got, to whatever degree it matters

but that’s kinda the thing-- to WHAT degree, and DOES that matter? at what point can I say it’s a legitimate part of me, and at what point is it something negligible and unobtrusive?

b/c here’s the other thing-- anxiety is, in fact, a strong aspect of my self-image. it’s something I associate strongly with as a character trait, and I tend to relate to ‘meek’ characters

I know part of it is a defense mechanism. I had to make myself small, being raised by my mom. she’s a whole other rant, but essentially she’s a very defensively prideful person, and any attempt to steer a conversation towards your own accomplishments/needs/interests is met with a blank look and a swift topic change back to herself. (and god forbid u bring up her faults, that would guarantee manipulative guilt-tripping at best, screaming and crying at worst)

but there’s also another convoluted level to this defense mechanism. I recognized at a young age, on some subconscious level, that pride was/is my mom’s greatest downfall. so I internalized that as, “pride (and even more broadly, confidence) is bad and and a danger to those around you” 

not to be Homestuck on main, but Dave’s first conversation with Dirk struck me on a level of personal experience that few other pieces of media have ever hit, particularly this bit

obviously the physical aspect of this abuse is beyond me, but the emotional manipulation, and Bro subsequently ruining a generally positive concept (the concept of heroism, in his case) hits incredibly close to home

my mom exuded confidence and always told me that confidence in myself over all else would save me, but she ultimately ruined confidence for me. I know there will always be this underlying thread of fear that if I’m not afraid-- that if I allow myself confidence-- that I will become like her. that I’ll hurt people with my pride

now this is all shit that I’ve known abt myself for a long time, and I know I’ve even mentioned some of this in passing before. but here’s what’s fucking me up nowadays: what happens when you cling to anxiety like this? what happens when you craft a disorder into your personality? where does subconscious reaction end and deliberate masking begin?

b/c here’s the other thing: I don’t truly hate myself. not rly-- not on the level I would say is dangerous or clinical. some of it may very well be real, but I definitely play it up. like play-acting at under-confidence

and it’s not like I don’t have pride either. I have tons of pride for various things I do or accomplish, namely academic studies, crafting/art, and just like working standards in general. when I can eloquently describe/argue my point, or accurately craft something to my inner image, I feel very real pride

but pride hurts. I feel pride, but equal to that is the shame I feel at feeling pride in the first place. it’s genuinely painful at times to accept a compliment without argument NOT because I necessarily disagree (tho there are definitely times where I DO actually disagree), but to accept a compliment is to admit I have pride in the thing being complimented, and THAT is unacceptable

and it’s not like my fear is unfounded either. I’ve hurt ppl w/ my pride before-- and this isn’t my anxiety making me self-critical, I KNOW this for a FACT. it simply comes with the territory of all that “gifted child” bullshit in school. yeah I was one of those. thankfully not a very outspoken student (the anxiety in my younger days was a lot more real and visceral), but I do still distinctly remember moments where my academic pride gave me an... inflated sense of presence over those that didn’t get the material, I guess u could say

I know there were times I made ppl feel small, due to my pride. hell, times I got overly, fearfully defensive of my knowledge or artistic skill to the point of talking over others and making them feel stupid. no one deserves to feel small, and it fucking tears me up to know that I did that to ppl. that I still knee-jerk react in that way sometimes, even now, and it still slips out

and isn’t that just proof that I can’t appropriately handle pride? that I’m not mature enough for confidence?

and it’s not even all about making myself small for others’ sake. half of it is this incredibly selfish knowledge that not living up to my own standards will fucking kill me if I let it

I feel like every ‘gifted kid’ experiences a chain events that starts at, “wow I’m so smart, I’m great at every subject!” and ends at, “christ I’m fucking garbage at literally everything.” we’re taught that success is in being able to do something well the first time (or at least quickly and with little effort), so if we’re not immediately good at something, we shut down b/c we were never taught that success is actually in the effort at the task

this has been talked to death by others so I don’t want to bother w/ it too long, but the critical thing to note is that there’s there’s this eventual sense of defeat in everything you do, when ur brought up w/ this mindset

I used to be somewhat competitive in certain things when I was younger-- the rare sports I played when I was RLY young, academics obviously, etc. or at least, competitive with my own personal standards, if not necessarily against other ppl. but every failure and mistake made me so upset that the angst was like. genuinely dangerous to my health

I used to play golf on a team in middle school, and every time I whiffed it I would get SO angry at myself that my dad literally told me that that level of upset would kill me someday and that I rly needed to stop

so I took that to heart and just. stopped caring

every time I whiffed it after that point, I was just like, “ah, well, what can ya do ¯|_(ツ)_/¯ ” this attitude definitely lowered my blood pressure, but it also rly killed my motivation to like... improve. b/c the thought of even trying to improve brought up all these feelings abt trying to meet my own standards of success, and how much it would hurt to fail

when u don’t set any standards u gotta meet, then when u fail u don’t rly fail, y’know? “well I didn’t even try, so it’s actually fine”

obviously I couldn’t give less of a shit abt golf anymore, but sometimes I wonder if my cold-turkey drop in confidence played a part in killing the interest itself? I know that sports and physical activity were never rly my thing in the first place, but did I perhaps give up so hard that I convinced myself that I didn’t even like those things in the first place?

I know it happened w/ academics at least: start to struggle with math? now I hate math. chemistry? that sucks too. etc etc

I kinda side-tracked here w/ all the talk of ‘gifted kid’ stuff, my point is that I have a vested interest in humbling myself-- to actively craft the persona of a meek, humble person

and I’ve been wondering if that, in and of itself, is manipulative. like, is it manipulative to let others think I rly lack THAT much in self-confidence? that I rly hate myself that much?

it certainly feels that way when I knee-jerk reject a compliment abt something I do, in fact, feel pride in-- when the shame at that pride is too much. but my friends don’t know it’s that reactive shame-- they think it’s that I rly don’t have confidence in that thing

but god, how do I even explain this fucking tangled, convoluted bullshit over my reaction to compliments? that I have to be small or I’ll hurt someone? that I do feel pride, and that’s the problem? what does that even MEAN to someone outside my own head??

and that’s not even to get into whether that manipulation is like, actually some subconscious tactic to get MORE compliments! am I fishing? when I make a post like this, am I actually just fishing for more compliments? is that what I’m doing??

I feel like I’m running in circles here, nipping at my own goddamned heels abt pride and shame and what is real and acting and does it even matter if nobody gets hurt?

do people get hurt? ppl get hurt when I allow myself pride, it’s happened before. but now I’m realizing that my self-hate may hurt ppl too-- my self-deprecation often goes too far, and it hurts the ppl who care abt me

how do I explain that self-deprecation is safe? a shield to hold back my pride? hell, it’s more accurate to say it’s a safe way to EXPRESS my pride in a way that ppl don’t detect. I acknowledge my faults, and if I frame it in a socially-acceptably comedic way, I get the pride of making someone laugh! it’s SAFE pride!

but is it? but is it, when it hurts ppl to hear me self-hate?

is there any way to feel pride safely?

I’ve never thought of myself as an actor, or as someone who can lie well (or at all). but can I lie, when I also believe the lie? is it a lie that I have anxiety? that I hate myself? that I have no confidence?

how much of me is real? how much does that hurt others? how do I carve out the parts of me that hurt others how do I make myself smaller in ways that are genuine and lasting and don’t hurt people??

I want to be small. I like being small. but am I small? or am I playing at being small?

I don’t know. I don’t know.

(cashing in on that safe comedic validation babeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)

#long post #shut up ashley #also @ my friends who may read this: #if it feels like I'm vagueing I'm not like. trying to do that #it's just genuinely easier for me to lay this out in an open format #rather than bring it up in a conversation #I have no idea what the FUCK I'm talking abt right now

[alukaforyou]

my bleach lore is, again, spotty But thinking abt my hollow faves makes me Sad b/c like werent they basically souls that couldnt cross over properly, festered and turned malignant.... then they had to eat other souls to evolve except not all hollows do, its only if u dont lose ur mind and sense of self, and i imagine sheer grief / anger / whatever tortured ur soul enough to be unable to peacefully pass was a major grounding factor that literally kept u going so basically arrancars? masses of negative energy ;( and u got guys that have literal tear marks permanently etched onto his face and doesnt believe in / understand the concept of love or emotions? like dam what is going on here? who hurt u?? and Just as he was abt to Get it, ichigo Kills him via asspull??? and has the audacity to complain and cry about it like "this is not how i wanted to win!11!1!1!!" stfu lmfao why r u screaming IM the one that should be Screaming 🥺

and like nnoitra, horrible guy as he is, literally i feel bad for him cuz remember when nel was like y do u fight so much and he was like cuz i wanna die like ok first of all, mood, but second - that is so sad. like can you really blame any of these guys for being so terrible? the whole premise of their existence is one big dumpster fire amidst shitpot circumstances.

like i read the wiki entry on hollows and yea the espadas and co are technically the bad guys cuz they teamed up w aizen whos not too great, but is it rly their fault tho? 먼저 손을 내밀었잖아. no one else was there. is it rly so wrong to take the only hand thats reaching out to u?? wtf were the shinigamis-the arguably good guys-doing while aizen was sweet talking all these tortured beings. its literally Their Job to help souls cross over into the afterlife and exorcise hollows in the early stages so they can be at peace and Not coalesce into a conglomeration of negative energy. im not saying its on the shinigamis to march into huenco mundo las noches where ever, and start making friends w the hollows or give them therapy or something but like?? isnt it kind of their fault espadas and shit even happened?? please correct me if i am misunderstanding.

also, because the evolved hollows that werent buried / exorcised / taken care of in the earlier stages are too dangerous and strong and mindless, they have to be killed?? what a joke. i mean, not all hollows are like that - nel, tia, starrk, etc - but a lot of them are too lost in the sauce and actively act out on their negative, destructive, and violent tendencies and dont want any "help" which makes sense, honestly, so they Are a Problem, and sending off shinigami to kill off such hollows sure is the easier solution but dam this is not right. arguably, hollows are the victims of a system that has failed them, and its not soul society's fault Per Se, theres problems in Any system but yea idk. what a clusterfuck. absolute god dam bithc of an unsatisfactory situation.

is aizen kinda bad? yea. is he charismatic and manipulative and smart tho? also yea. so it only makes sense that all these wandering hollows would take his hand - the only entity to approach them without immediately wanting to kill (although he will kill u maybe if u for some reason refuse to join him, or even later on when he decides hes done using you) especially if his ideals sorta coincided w their inclination for violence and destructive tendencies... and like nnoitra, u literally have nothing to Do. wandering some gloomy desert with no purpose or direction (which is despair in itself, i would know), with constant threats and dangers all around you, theres nothing to live for? that is so sad. at least when aizen recruited them, they were Organized and it came with some semblance? illusion? of Purpose and Direction.... starrk even literally said the espadas were his first / only companions and he even sorta considered them Friends like boy what? thats not friendship wtf u want to see real friendship i'll show you real friendship. how freakin lonely and full of despair and just plain sad were all these dudes!

remember how in fma, envy and greed basically said homunculi have no real meaningful bonds or friendship and thats what both of them low key desired, to have friends and love and support just like humans... ugh i cry every day thinking abt that and i bet its similar for the hollows too. some of them even banded together and formed loyalties in part, due to wanting that sense of togetherness.. probably... and its also why they probably joined aizen.. idk they might deny it up front but i bet thats all what they low key craved - purpose and companionship - whether they realized it or not. sure, some of them were sort of forced into it to avoid aizens wrath, or for practical reasons, like protection, Or they had their Own Agenda, but my point still stands. plenty hopped right on, and i bet some of them even knew they were just being used but they Still bought into it anyways to feel like a part of anything at all. like u rly think some shinigami approached u w.o his Own Agenda? he rly just wants to be friends? i think not. but they were still loyal af. ugh. so in conclusion hollows are allowed to be evil and bitter and destructive. am i saying its right? no. but do i understand it? yea..... so sad.. my bois....ㅠㅠ

#its 5 am im getting emo abt bleach espadas hollows all that shit #maybe im just projecting but i just ah feel bad for them #thx for coming to my ted talk #.txt

[homestucky]

ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely  a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant. 

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT 

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues. 

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was????  a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever). 

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

 i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation. 

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing. 

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time. 

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing. 

#hs epilogue #epilogue #meat #epilogue spoilers

[frankencomplex]

hc - mbti

          god I already know this is gonna get so fuckign long bc i’m a huge nerd and can never shut up abt personality analyzation. on tht note , if anyone ever wants to talk mbti or just have me overanalyze ur muse’s personality..... hmu bc i physically cannot shut up abt it

charles is an intp ! i’ve probably said this before & it’s like weirdly integral to my portrayal of him ( or at least gives a lot of insight into it ) so for those of you who don’t know what mbti is at All , it’s a personality typology theory that divides human personalities into four categories : introverts / extroverts , intuitives / sensors , thinkers / feelers , and judgers / perceivers. therefore , charles is an introvert intuitive thinker perceiver , or if you want to get real deep & use cognitive function theories , he uses Ti ( introverted thinking ) , Ne ( extroverted intuition ) , Si ( introverted sensing ) , and Fe ( extroverted feeling ) in that order. 

if you read about the basic characteristics of an intp , the personality type ( sometimes nicknamed “ the logician ” ) is known for being “ philosophical innovators, fascinated by logical analysis, systems, and design. They are preoccupied with theory, and search for the universal law behind everything they see. They want to understand the unifying themes of life, in all their complexity. ” source 

the description above is charles to a T , and i’ll explain why ! he’s a huge introvert. by no means does he gain energy from social gatherings , and he’s far more content to explore the contents of his own mind than to explore the minds of others. he’s an intuitive , which means he’s more concerned with abstract , unconventional ideas , and can be quite detached from the world around him , while a sensor would be focused on reality and their concrete senses. he’s metaphorical , dreamy , non - traditional , and unfocused ( though that is not solely an N trait ). he’s a thinker , which means he relies on logic & facts more than his own feelings or the feelings of those around him. lastly , he’s a perceiver , meaning he prefers to work at his own pace without rigid structure , and prefers open endedness over set plans and commitments.

I know that’s a lot , but it makes a lot of sense when you read about it. now , to get deeper , mbti is supported by the theory of cognitive functions ( Ti > Ne > Si > Fe for charles as I mentioned earlier ). the whole idea is that every personality type uses a “ function stack ” of different modes of thinking / interacting with / viewing the world , and there are four predominant functions per type that are all accessed at decreasing levels of development. the first function is the most developed , the last is the least. so , without further ado , here’s charles’s personality type explained by his four functions. i’ve taken the most useful parts of the article on the following website. source

INTPs’ Dominant Function: Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Ti involves the application of logic and reason for the sake of understanding a given situation, system, or problem. INTPs use Ti to bring structure and order to their inner world, granting them a strong sense of inner control. Inwardly, INTPs are highly self-disciplined, working to effectively manage their thoughts and their lives. The disciplined nature of their Ti compels INTPs to frame many things as a goal or challenge. These challenges may be physical (e.g., trying to achieve an ideal state of health or fitness), intellectual, practical, psychoemotional (e.g., becoming self-actualized), or later in their development, interpersonal (e.g., “perfecting” a relationship or becoming a skilled lover). In order to succeed in these personal challenges, INTPs are apt to impose rules on themselves. However, because of the wayward influence of their auxiliary Ne, they commonly end up breaking or sabotaging them.

INTPs are also less interested in working with facts than with ideas. Jung writes: “His ideas have their origin not in objective data, but in his subjective foundation.” INTPs are constantly digging into the background of their own thoughts in order to better understand their origins and to ensure their thinking is founded on solid reasoning. They see it pointless to try to build theories on a dubious conceptual platform.

INTPs often find it easier to identify inconsistencies or logical shortcomings—to assert what is not true—than to identify and confidently assert what is true. They can quickly locate inconsistencies or logical shortcomings in a given theory or argument. They excel when it comes to identifying exceptions or imagining scenarios in which the proposed explanation could breakdown. Due to their sensitivity to theoretical exceptions, they can be quick to throw theories and start from scratch. INTJs, by contrast, seem less deterred by ostensible exceptions, perhaps feeling that they will eventually be explained or otherwise rectified.

When functioning constructively, INTPs, like INFPs, often employ a trial-and-error sort of approach to building their theories and ideas. INTPs start with a given (Ti) and then use their auxiliary Ne to explore various connections and possibilities. They also integrate past experiences and acquired knowledge through their tertiary Si. It is usually only after years of toying with ideas that something resembling a systematic and coherent theory may start to emerge.

INTPs’ Auxiliary Function: Extraverted Intuition (Ne)

INTPs use Extraverted Intuition (Ne) as their auxiliary function. Ne can function either perceptively or expressively. The verbal expression of Ne amounts to something like “brainstorming aloud.” When orating, INTPs may not always seem to “have a point” as they haphazardly drift from one idea to the next. Even ideas that seem inwardly logical and sensible INTPs may suddenly sound incoherent when they attempt to convey them through their Ne.

In its receptive role, Ne prompts INTPs to gather information. It goes beyond or looks behind sense data, allowing INTPs to discern otherwise hidden patterns, possibilities, and potentials. Their Ne is constantly scanning for relationships or patterns within a pool of facts, ideas or experiences. INTPs commonly use this receptive side of their Ne in activities such as reading, researching, and conversation. They enjoy asking questions that allow them to gain insight or knowledge from others, making INTPs good facilitators of conversation.

INTPs may also use their Ne to sniff out intriguing possibilities. They commonly enjoy and assume the role of wanderer or seeker, rarely knowing in advance exactly what they are seeking.

Ne also confers an open-mindedness, helping INTPs see truth on both sides of an issue without forming unwarranted judgments or premature conclusions. More specifically, their Ne can be seen as contributing to their openness to alternative or Bohemian lifestyles. INTPs are those most likely to suddenly become vegetarians, join a commune, or decide to live out of the back of a van. They are drawn to the idea and challenges of an unconventional lifestyle.

Like other NPs, INTPs often have a love-hate relationship with their Ne. They love the fact that it helps them remain open-minded and grasp the bigger picture. But living with Ne also has its challenges. For one, it can make it difficult for INTPs to arrive at firm conclusions or make important decisions. It often seems that at the very moment they are feeling good about a given conclusion or decision, their Ne steps in and causes them to start doubting it again. This has obvious implications for INTPs who are trying to find their niche in the world. This can leave them feeling discouraged and restless, worried that they may never find what they are looking for. They may feel frustrated by their seeming lack of progress toward anything substantial. The fact is that INTPs desperately want to produce something of lasting worth or value, but they also want to ensure they get it right. They don’t want to leave any stone unturned before arriving at a conclusion. While INTPs typically enjoy this quest for truth, there comes a point when they begin to feel the pressures of life impinging on them. Questions about careers and relationships loom large as they enter their late twenties and thirties. This can be frustrating to INTPs as they feel like life is requiring them to make decisions long before they are ready. As is true of all IN types, they feel that life would be far better if they weren’t forced to consider practical concerns.

INTPs’ Tertiary Function: Introverted Sensing (Si)

Unlike Ne (or Se), INTPs’ tertiary function, Introverted Sensing (Si), is a conservative function. It involves an attachment to past experiences and past precedent—to the routine, familiar, and predictable. Types with Si in their functional stack, including INTPs, tend to eat a fairly routine or consistent diet, “eating to live” rather than “living to eat.” Si types are not only conservative with regard to their diet, but with respect to the material world in general. They tend to be savers rather than spenders, seeing excessive material consumption as unnecessary, or perhaps even immoral.

Like other Si types, INTPs also have a diminished need for novel physical pleasures, lavish surroundings, or material comforts. They are minimalists to the core, relatively unconcerned with their physical surroundings.

INTPs’ Inferior Function: Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

Last but not least, Extraverted Feeling (Fe) serves as INTPs’ inferior function. While having inferior feeling doesn’t make INTPs emotionless robots, their feelings do seem to have a mind of their own, often coming and going as they please. Realizing how hard it can be to voluntarily contact or summon their emotions, INTPs tend to feel awkward and uneasy in emotional situations. Although they may be cognitively aware of the appropriate emotional response, if they’re unable to directly tap into their feelings, INTPs can appear clumsy, mechanical, or disingenuous. This can be unsettling to others who are looking for outward signs of authentic emotion from the INTP.

Fe is also concerned with maintaining social harmony. While Ti and Ne may inspire INTPs to function as provocateurs, their Fe encourages them to operate as peacemakers. Far more often than INTJs, INTPs will “bite their tongue” in order to avoid hurting or offending others. Doing so also minimizes the likelihood of emotionally-volatile situations which can engender anxiety and disquiet in this type.

Another aim of Fe involves establishing emotional rapport and connection with others. But again, while INTPs may do at fair job at reading others’ emotions, they may fail to actually “feel” what the other person is feeling. This is why INTPs are sometimes described as “outwardly warm, but inwardly cold or calculating.” Fe can be a bit of an act in the first place (e.g., political glad-handing), but this seems particularly commonplace among INTPs and ISTPs. Although casual social engagement may help them feel good for a while, perhaps even give them an ego boost, without sufficient Ti stimulation, it won’t be long before they’re scoping out the nearest exit.

Finally, it’s not unusual for INTPs to oscillate through phases in which they feel they don’t need other people at all. Especially when their work life is running on all cylinders, they can feel invigorated and invincible. But the psyche will only permit this sort of Ti lopsidedness for so long. Eventually, INTPs start feeling a bit lonely or empty, sensing that something important is missing from their lives. This prompts them to reinitiate contact with others, at least until they feel compelled to reassert their independence. Striking a balance between their independence (Ti) and relationships (Fe) can thus constitute a lifelong challenge for this personality type.

that’s all , if you read this far I will love you forever. if you ever want to talk personality shit , here I am

#✂ :: HC. ❛ 𝐼'𝓂 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 ! #✂ :: ABOUT. ❛ 𝒜𝒸𝒸𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓂𝑒𝒹 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝑔𝑒𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓈 #( god i am just #a fucking nerd #i go too deep #and i got hate abt it on twitter lmao so now here it is #on tumblr instead #but genuinely i think this is so interesting and worth reading if you want insight on my portrayal? #or if you just ever want to talk abt personality types God )

[bnha-imagines-hcs]

Can I request the appearance and personality preferences with Aizawa and Hizashi?

| aizawa; headcanons.

appearance;

when it comes to appearance, he doesn’t really care - insofar as physical attraction isn’t necessary to him in a romantic relationship. there’s def stuff that gets him going, things he appreciates that can cause a stifled smoulder in his gut – but an s/o is there for love, in his book.

but, since we are here in the category ‘appearance’,..

it’s in details. the rounded curve of a shoulder as they twist to deal with an incoming punch; that split second when the little ‘v’ from shoulder to pectoral draws tight and ready, just before that sight is stolen as they move on – this readiness to deal with hardship. the solid shove of their back into rubble to keep it off a civilian; resolve and stubborn ability and compassion all in one.fingers carding through hair for it to be pulled out of their face, tied up or just flicked away. focus in the lines of an expression as they pick out what groceries that suit their dinner plans, or any plans at all. the way they make decisions and the way- oh, wait… that’s personality.

looks like aizawa’s more focussed on personality than appearance anyway, if it’s supposed to be attractive.

objectively, he can appreciate a fine pair of calves (fine-tuned by lots of running), or the long sweep of someone’s hair (not very practical, but if they’re able to deal with it then it’ll do). but he doesn’t really prefer anything.

except cats. cats are always good and loved unconditionally. i mean, you have to be a seriously vicious cat for aizawa not to love you.

but humans? ehh. literally why? what’s… the point of preferences… u got a face it’s for emoting and sensing and eating, it works doesn’t it?? u got limbs and if ur missing one you’re probably compensating for it with others, (if the loss troubles you, he’s willing to step in and help u find joy again bc dadzawa does that, albeit discreetly if at all possible). ur digestive system works right?? ur skeleton doin ok??? so it’s fine. ur fine. what more do u fuckin’ need, let this old man rest.

man, woman, anything between or around those. literally doesn’t matter, he doesn’t give two shits. how is that relevant?? is only relevant to u??? the finer labels of ur being aren’t for him cuz he doesn’t care abt labels, nor could he ever be as deeply involved in the hows and whats of u as u can be, ur just u??? cool cool move on.

personality;

spine. oh my god, absolutely spine. 

u can be a coward or a brave man, but at least be that because you have your own, characteristic principles that have you stand by yourself as you are.

some kind of code, certainly, a line drawn in the sand. there have to be things you wouldn’t stand for and would take action to deal with – though for the love of his sanity, don’t be stupid about it. 

he’s… going to need them to be somewhere in the Good alignment. he just - does. not. has no… just, dude. you don’t hurt people just because you have beef with something. solve your goddamn problems without making someone else suffer your pointlessly destructive immaturity.

of course some people don’t know they have better options; fair enough. if you’re willing, he’ll try to help you see and make use of those better options. but he’ll never stand by someone who hurts others for no good reason. never.

proactiveness is greatly appreciated and enjoyed.

aizawa loves when people are socially and emotionally competent (because he’s not), because it makes things go more smoothly. look at him and go ‘you’re not an asshole, you just don’t like to talk and have Strong Opinions’ and let him sleep.that said he can definitely develop a strong attraction to someone as ‘no.’ as he is.

protectiveness and compassion. you don’t have to be a hero or go as far as he does, but he needs someone who understands his deep-seated need to nurture and protect. interesting convos can be had with ppl who feel differently, but he wants understanding in his rom relationships.

wants to just be able to sit and cuddle (cat is not optional cat is Needed), and just. stare out into the distance for a while without letting the world be as much of a bother. 

mutual comfort and compassion, support, respect, and a lot of room for all involved personalities.the mutual part is highkey, because as much as aizawa has like. the dregs of energy lmao – he is all about that nurturing life. he can’t be in a relationship with someone he’s not allowed to care about actively. if you don’t want a mutually supportive and strong bond that goes ‘yeah you’re at your worst now, that’s okay. i’m gonna be at my worst like next week’s wednesday prob lmao’, then aizawa doesn’t want you.

| hizashi; headcanons.

appearance;

he absolutely does love prettiness, but it doesn’t… draw him in. he thought for the longest time that his type was long legs, short skirts, sweet lips – then aizawa grew into his stubble and oh jesus fuck-

i’m not sure hizashi is into ladies at all on levels other than platonic and aesthetic, but he doesn’t consider it ever so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who needs labels anyway.

he likes ‘em edgy. good lord let’s be real - hizashi loves dat edge. scruffiness, angular, dark hair, dark clothes, the contrast between pale skin and dark hair, some kinda non-conformist hairdo ( which, for dudes, can be as simple as long ).executive goth? punkgoth? casual goth?

he doesn’t really enjoy make-up. just nah. he likes to know what he’s looking at, likes to know if he reached out there’d be naked skin under his fingertips…

it’s nice if they shorter than him - taller people are giants, have u seen hizashi himself - but the best is equal height cuz then you can just face boop.yes, face boop. just - put ur face straight up against theirs. boop~!

ehrem.

long hair, idle fingers, twirly fabric, a surplus of buttons - anything for him to fidget or stim with is a definite plus.

defined calves are…… attractive….. thicc thighs make him the good kind of concerned for his well-being. he likes the places where bone shows - knees, elbows, knuckles, the bump on your wrist. it’s just very pretty to him and he loves tracing these edges over and over ehrem stimming ehrem.

are u fat? chubby? skinny? somewhere in between? good shit.

personality;

huggy. it’s okay if you’re just the kind to let him hug u, but at least in private he needs dat good ol’fashioned physical affection. huggy. much an’ many huggies.

caring, loving, nurturing. he adores gestures of affection, the more unabashed the better. although that’s mostly bc people’s discomfort makes him unhappy.

domestic. please. he’s a domestic kinda guy lookin’ for a domestic kinda life -- hero work is hectic enough, thanks. the simple old fashioned pleasures of coming home to make yourself a hot drink and sink into that seat you’ve worn a dent into. ready, silent hugs. fingers through hair. the absent petting here and there while ur deep in a book or tv show or thesis.just warm, reliable love.

hizashi is the absolute last person to care for a fling or skinny love. he prefers to have sex with sex workers or friends and foregoes hook-ups with strangers. here too it’s cameraderie, friendship - warm, reliable love.

please love his friends. they’re all one big happy family and he’s dying to include you; it’s cool if you don’t get along!! ...sad, but chill. not everyone clicks.still, though. he does need someone who’d be willing to make an effort.

he... loves.. sexiness. basically this means you’re comfortable propositioning him - not that you’re not/never shy! - that you enjoy chatting about sex and just. have a good ol’ time with it. this again bc ppl’s discomfort = sad hizashi, but also bc he just fucking loves sex. it’s nice! it’s fun! it’s a cute topic and way to get to know each other.

#aizawa #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #so preference headcanons #bnha hizashi #bnha aizawa #aizawa imagine #present mic #eraserhead #present mic imagine #reader x present mic #reader x aizawa #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero #my hero acadamy #my hero academy imagines #boku no hero academy #boku no hero academia imagines

[tenecity]

from haters to lovers; zhu zhengting

from haters to lovers—a series where nine percent and you have the cliche, typical love story

warning: mentions of gender discrimnation

sosososososososo after much procrastination, crying and cracking my head, i finally got someth to possibly hate abt zzt hell yes god

also! taking into consideration tt china is still a v much conservative society, gender discrimnation is everywhere and rlly, as of yet, cant b helped

so which is why, imagine ure a chinese woman you found it weird, almost distasteful that a boy would be in yr dance class

i mean, guys are suppose to be strong people, doing more physical stuff like wushu or smth, and then there’s this boy here, doing pointe and perfect turns

“zhu zhengting is here!!!! oml doesn’t he look like a fairy?” your best friend tugs your sleeve as she discreetly point to the said boy. you roll your eyes. youre tired of this whole rave about him. literally, the entire class fangirls abt him; and apparently, it is not just for his looks, for also for his dance

spsjssjnsnsbs hE IS SO ELEGANT

you wld nvr admit it, but ok i guess ure borderline jealous.

i mean, his lines r clean, force controlled in his movements, perfect timing for rushed movements and then he slows down with such grace that you will never have 

but its still irks you, that a boy should dance so softly and gracefully. doesn’t seem to sit well with your traditional thinking 

so anyway, sidenote! you suck at turns wowww so coincidental

and every lesson, you usually would stay back just to practice it and you always end up with bruises and what nots as you fall repeatedly, no one there to catch you when you fall 

somehow, zhengting stays back today as well, rehearsing his main role in the upcoming performance, “swan lake” 

and you can’t keep your eyes off his figure 

it is mesmerising, how he can convey emotions, feelings, an entire story, through mere movements of the arms and legs. you observe how his every move is calculated, strength justttt the right amount that it looks elegant instead of overly powerful. 

and then you stare at the mirror and you sigh. probably why you only got a minor role in the performance. 

shaking your head, trying to push all those nonsensical thoughts out of your brain, you continue trying to turn, but you just can’t find the balance

yixing: balance baLanCe bALANCE

once again, your arms aren’t fully stretched out and it creates an imbalance, causing you to once again, fall backwards, out of turn 

you shut your eyes, bracing yourself for the impact

but it doesn’t come 

surprise surprise

eyelids fluttering open slowly, you realise just how close your are to zhengting, his ragged breath from his exhausting rehearsal fan across your face, inevitably making them the colour of cherries.

“you ok?” he softly asks, as he lowers you down.

“...yea im fine.” you mumble, head bowed.

“....do you need help with the turns?” 

“....”

“you know, you’re almost there. its just the part at the 180 degree mark, where you have to pull in your hands. your arms don’t always cross, or are pulled in too fast, which breaks your flow and speed and causes you to fall out of turn.” 

how does he know? bc he has been looking at you, dumbass

also i hve no idea how accurate this is i suck at body anatomy

you nod slowly. he makes sense. and its true, you always fall when you are just about to spin to the opposite side.

getting up, your arms are poised, ready to try again. 

andddd they become frigid as hands land on your middle, firm and supportive.

“look, its not even straight here. you need it to be 90 degrees here, before you can even start turning.” he adjusts you accordingly.

“im going to spin you slowly, and we try to perfect each section, ok?” 

he spins you slowly, your arms closing in in slow motion. he corrects you at certain parts, one hand leaving your waist as he repositions yr arm.

and now, ure facing him, head bowed as a flush colours your cheeks when u realise how close the two of u r. a slight movement will just allow yr lips to brush against his.

but of course his hand is steady as hell and he just turns you slowly and you face the other direction

which, makes ur stomach churn and disappointment flows thru u????

so skipskip next scene

its after class and ure packing up when u hear some commotion at the corridor

n u follow ur busybody classmates

u can barely see who is shouting bc u a cute shortie :)

but u recognise the voice

"NO i'm staying dad. this is what i want to do."

"No, no, no. teacher, im v sorry, but i will like to pull my son out of this dance class now. i will pay the rest of the fees, but he will not be performing that stupid recital-” 

“i am performing, dad.” the voice is calm and collected and you try to tiptoe, just barely catching sight of the brown locks

“no u r not. zhu zhengting, u r a boy, u cannot do this kind of girly things! it makes u look v 娘* do you know that? a disgrace, an utter disgrace!”

the voice rings as everyone falls silent, heads turning towards zhengting, waiting for his response to the harsh comment. 

“i will prove to you that there is nothing to be ashamed of.” he quietly says, bowing and turning his heel, head held high, with no sign of regret or disappointment 

as you watch the figure go, everything falls together like pieces of a puzzle

why he works so hard 

why when it already seems perfect enuf, he still practices, saying there is still space for improvement 

why he was so desperate to get the main role 

he wanted to b in the spotlight and give a flawless performance bc he wanted to prove to his father, that boys dont have to b restrained to a singular activity and stereotype. they can do whatever they want, so long as they like it 

guilt washes over u as u watch his father storm after his son, realising that this man is a reflection of you

new found respect is the word u will use on zhengting. 

everyone applauds him. an art form shld never be restricted to a gender.

ur heart opens up to him more, and admiration for him blooms as u watch him place high expectations on himself, doing a particular move over and over again, even tho in your eyes, it alr seems perfect enuf

just like how he is to you; perfect and flawless

its addicting to watch him. his pale arms, his clean movements, his strong legs, his silky brown locks, the way his eyes sparkle when he talks about dance, the way the edges crinkle when he laughs, the way he is so bubbly about everything.

and he starts to take notice of you too, helping you to readjust properly, telling you tricks and tips on how to keep perfect balance, how to put the correct about of strength into a movement. 

for the next few weeks, you end up gg hme later than usual, staying bck with more than an hour just to spend time with him, and not gg to lie, you r falling for him 

but... you kinda don’t rlly knw i mean 

he’s nice to everyone

what makes you so special?

anywayyyyyyy

FINALLY RECITAL DAY WOOHOO

everyone’s pretty hyped about it

but u knw the main dancers will be extremely nervous and u decide to go find zhengting in his dressing room, just to give him assurance, if he needs any.

“zhengting?”

“hmmm?” he says (???) as he turns around and oMLORD JESUS CHRIST IS HE A BEAUT

the eyeshadow makes him look sultry, the foundation emphasising how his skin is flawless and hydrated, his eyebrows strong and dark, a true prince indeed

he snaps his fingers, pulling u out of yr trance. “did you want to say anything?” u hear a hint of hope and u almost smirk 

“uh...you look good? and good luck.” you mumble, tripping over your words, unused to a god-like creature looking at u with such intensity in his dark eyes

“what did you say?” he teases, cheekiness flowing through his words

“i said,” you clear your throat. “you look good and good luck for your performance

how you wish to wipe that smirk off that face, if not for the fact that u secretly find it EXTREMELY HOT and your cheeks are flaring red at the sight of it.

“if u want to wish me good luck,” he leans forward. flirtatious. “how about a kiss on the cheek?” 

you roll your eyes and try to push him away but he is quick to grab your hands and stop them midway, intertwining your cold, clammy ones with his own.

“please?” 

“fine,” you try to sound nonchalant but the nervousness is so evident that u see the smirk creeping up his face again.

lips barely brush over the smooth skin and you pull away, blood surging upwards into the blood vessels of your face.

“bye,” you want nothing more than to dig a hole and hide your burning face 

“see you afterwards?” 

but u’ve already rushed out and he chuckles to himself, warmth oozing thru his being, and his cheeks flush as he thinks about the kiss you give him. 

he will definitely have to find you later to give you a proper one ;)

you guys wld b cute buBS UWU

my endings suck dbhasdjbfhjdbkjf

#i gave up on the three parts #i just let this flow

[8eht]

Y, H, and C 💗💗

c: what member do you identify with most?

im sure u already know asfkhsaf but its minghao. thats one of the reasons why i enjoy writing him so much. other than i just love him a whole lot. to me, i feel like he is an extremely emotional person but also likes to hide those parts of him?? he said that he used to cry a lot but didn’t want any of the members to know abt it, but once he became closer to them he began to allow himself to express his feelings more openly. and like wow. i feel that so hard. i know i am queen of being dramatic on here but i have a hard time expressing emotions to ppl irl unless ive done it before

i also have this ideal of him that hes so genuine and truly compassionate, but also has a short-temper and gets frustrated easily?? (i had written angry at first, but think maybe frustrated is a better word here.) obviously i dont know this for sure bc i dont know him. but either way i feel as tho he has so many different parts of him and that hes generally such a complex person and thats both really fun to write, and also makes it easy for me to relate to him. im not calling myself complex in a positive or endearing way like it is for him asfkahfska. bc i never am able to let ppl close to me or let them try to understand me i guess ??? and i always feel empty and unfulfilled. i wonder if he feels the same way and i hope he doesn’t, but its likely. 

and then there are more shallow reasons we are similar like fashion style and how he seems to love dogs and mostly how we can both be a lil pretentious asfhjasfj

h: how would you describe your style?

describing my own style is really difficult ??? i like to use choppy and fragmented sentences bc i feel like its such a wonderful technique to use when u want to express strong emotions. i dont even know why i link emotion (esp negative) w fragments but yet here we are. not to sound dramatic but i feel like using short phrases or sentence, and esp broken ones, gives readers a sense of anxiety or intensity?? whether its positive or negative. this could literally only be a me thing and it might not mean anything to anyone else safahfa

i use a lot (maybe too much?? i dont find it possible but i know some do) detail. i just have an exact image in my head and try to put it into words as perfectly as i can. i actually dont feel like i use enough detail and its something im working on. i have improved a lot since i really started writing fic in november. my work from nov is actually pretty embarrassing to me in a way?? 

i also feel like i can overdo it with metaphors. but gosh !! i just really want the feelings of the characters to exude from the words. i aim for my writing to come off as somewhat poetic and lyrical as pretentious as it sounds fasjgfajshgfasfg. whether or not it does, however, is beyond me. but im trying here ok

that also reminds me. i dont really believe in grammar rules??? which sounds absurd. but i cant get on board with the belief that ur writing should be put inside this box of rules and certain expectations. sometimes i fear ppl will think im a bad writer bc of it but idk i just think it makes ur writing more unique and expressive so w/e

y: a character you want to protect.

all of them??? but specifically minghao, jun, mingyu, and seokmin. also vernon. asfkjah omg there are so many but like. i love them all so much??? but atm its rly minghao, jun, n mingyu. i do them so dirty but i try/will try to make things all right eventually?? or who knows. i always stray away from wut i first had planned, so if i ever give someone a shitty time i promise i love them and want to protect them irl and i feel bad abt it safahjsfa

but mostly minghao and jun bc i put them through a lot n im sorry sakfhas

ask me more fanfic q’s!!!!

#boost-coupshi #ty ty ty ty beautiful !! #💖💕💖💕 #replies #long post #not 17 #angel things.txt #SORRY IF THERE ARE TYPOS IM 2 LAZY TO RLY REREAD THIS rip

[mitjo-deactivated]

Dean is an Abuser - Analysis

(tw: abuse, parental abuse, father abuse)

Note: Before anyone is like “Jenna u hav no idea wht ur talking abt” I am victim of parental, in this case fatherly, abuse. I just don’t want people to think I don’t know what I’m talking about and think I’m flinging the word “abuse” all around willy nilly. So LETS GO

I love! Long Exposure! So much! Mars is AMAZING at storytelling, pacing, and her characters are so easy to love? I love them? She’s amazing, please go tell her that!!

And now while all of us Love Mitch, Jonas, Sid, etc there is the Other spectrum with characters like Dean and Neil that we’re SUPPOSED to hate! And Mars is doing a spectacular job showing how the audience is Not supposed to side with them.

But, from an outsider perspective that doesn’t know subtle signs of abuse, I can understand why it doesn’t click right away that Dean is supposed to be an abuser. While there are those who dislike him, I sense some hesitancy calling Dean a downright abuser, and well STRAP IN because he is.

ALSO DIDN’T PROOF READ IT CAUSE I’M LAZY

Warning for some spoilers too if you haven’t caught up to the comic.

I’m aware that people may have “expectations” when hearing the word abuse. Furthermore, parental abuse, and usually, it’s associated with Physical Abuse. Which yes! It is a type of abuse that some children, unfortunately, go through. But there is more than just one type of abuse which branches off into Dean’s abuse, which is emotional, psychological, and verbal.

I’m gonna state this right now- Abuse isn’t a competition. Just because there are “much more worse cases” of abuse, that doesn’t mean anything. No victim should be seen as less just because someone else “had it worse.” The fact that abuse happens at all is terrible and it shouldn’t turn into a game of “but my experience was worse than this.”

So with that in mind, let’s talk about Dean, his need to be in control, and his verbal/emotional/psychological abuse. Lets go to when we first are introduced to him

Our first real appearance of Dean takes place in the morning, after. Dean repeatedly calls for Jonas but gets no answer in return, in that way, Jonas is not complying and answering to Dean.

He is not being compliant and then we get this scene. Dean shoves Jonas to get his attention, then continuously berates him. I think it’s a scene a lot of us forget about because it’s one of the first few pages.

“Did you hear me calling you? Or were you just too lazy to answer?” - the significance of this line shows a lot of Dean’s personality already. He wants to be answered to, he doesn’t like when people aren’t obedient around him. He doesn’t outright say Jonas is lazy but he plants the idea in his head that he is. He’s angry that Jonas didn’t answer him, which means Dean lost control for a moment but he regains it by verbally berating Jonas. Basically stating “you listen to me.” WHICH, IS NOT GOOD PARENTING.

“After all I’ve done for you and your sister? You think it’s easy?” - ohh man here comes to guilt trip. Dean is being manipulative with this line. He’s playing the “I’ve done so much for you and this is how you treat me?” card. He is making Jonas feel guilty, talking down at him, silently calling him ungrateful while also putting himself on a higher pedestal. It’s not rash to translate his words to “I’ve done everything for you and your sister and you’re being a selfish ungrateful brat. It’s so hard doing this but I do it anyways so you give me respect.” Manipulative, guilt tripping, and berating, all signs of abuse.

“Answer me when I’m talking to you.” - while outside perspectives may not see this as a threat, people that have a grasp of abuse signs do see it as one. It’s a demand, and it has an underlying tone of being threatening.

There’s also the body language and artistic choice of clearly making Dean seem taller, bigger, a powerful presence that disturbs the atmosphere, while Jonas is weak, doesn’t look Dean in the eye, overall submissive and it’s a very unhealthy dynamic between father and son.

So our first page with Dean we already know; he’s a dick. Lets look further.

At the end of Chapter 1, Jonas receives a text message from Dean which makes him leave hastily.

Why is this so important?

Maybe I’m reading too much into it but this really resonated with me. The artistic choice of the panels spoke louder than words.

The beginning panel displays a message that Jonas is getting, but it’s very close up, it shows significance. Something abrupt, a disturbance.

Then the second panel, honestly, it could have done without it but the fact that it’s there is another big shot in the chest. We get Jonas’s expression, worried when before he was angry, so the shift in mood is prevalent and important. But it also arises a question, what made Jonas go from angry to instantly worried, and upset.

The third panel displays the message. “home. NOW.” And as someone with an abusive parent, those messages are Terrifying. It is a demand, no other questions asking of your well being or where you are, it is a demand to make you come home. It inflicts fear on the victim, telling them to immediately get out of there before it gets worse.

And the obliviousness of Mitch is particular painful because usually, outsiders don’t know what kind of fear your abusive parent has flooded you with in less than three words. But it’s equally gorgeous storytelling, and very beautiful showing how Dean is clearly in control and superior to Jonas.

While brief, I still like this panel a lot because it shows another element to Dean. Sure, sometimes kids go out and are in places where they shouldn’t be without their parents knowledge.

And yes, this does allow room for some kind of punishment I don’t like how unsettling this is. Jonas was off with Mitch, yes, they were breaking into a research facility HOWEVER, no one else knew that. It was supposed to be a “gathering information for a science project” kinda deal.

He wasn’t at some wild party, or doing stupid shit (besides trespassing and hopping a fence but no one knew that) But still, if you don’t tell Dean where you are, even if it’s to do a project, he’ll inflict fear and most likely punish you for not doing so.

AKA a huge dick.

So we already have signs of him verbally abusing Jonas by manipulating him, subtly calling him lazy, and giving him commands like “answer me if i’m talking to you” and “home. NOW.”

But lets be real.

We really wanna get into Chapter 3, where the abuse is so clear it’s painful. And I’m not talking about the dinner just yet.

RING THE ALARMS!!!

This!! IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!! Jonas is actually talking about Dean in a negative light, he acknowledges that he isn’t the best dad but I love how he talks about him. He downplays Dean’s actions.

He starts off strong, “I know what it’s like to have a crappy dad” but quickly redacts it with uncertainty. He’s not taking back the statement but he’s also unsure about this opinion, undecided that Dean is a crappy dad, or if he’s normal and just so happens to be “pretty harsh.”

And this line, “He adopted me when nobody else wanted me though, so maybe I owe him.” THAT FOLKS, IS THE CAUSE OF DEAN’S MANIPULATION, PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, AND GOAL AT IT’S FINEST.

We’ve seen from the beginning pages how Dean plays the “I’ve done so much for you” card and makes Jonas out to be the bad guy. Dean always compliments HIMSELF,  making him out to be such a great person who was there to father Jonas, and Jonas is the one being ungrateful. He’s psychologically conditioning Jonas to think Dean is superior and he is inferior and should respect him. 

Jonas believes he Owes Dean and WOOP, THAT’S NOT HOW PARENTING WORKS!! The child never owes the parent for BEING a parent, but Dean has conditioned him to believe that he should!

Moving on,

YYYYIIKKEESSS

What I adore here the most is how BRILLIANT mars executed Mitch meeting Dean for the very first time!!

The atmosphere changes DRASTICALLY. The page before was a bit more lighthearted, lighter shades of grey, and a background, but upon Dean entering, everything changes.

The children that were all mulling about having fun stop and look at Dean. Jonas and Mitch doing the same. They’re all turning to the one who is Superior. Dean is showing dominance, he is the control freak that changes the mood wherever he goes because he demands it.

And in the second panel it displays that even MORE with the dark colors, lack of background, and the intense gaze Dean shows. He is big, unapproachable, and clearly evil. Maybe a stretch but still, it’s an amazing introduction to a bad guy.

This part breaks my heart a lot because Dean doesn’t have to say Anything to make Jonas start talking.

Victims of abuse tend to try to explain themselves, A Lot. They try to explain their actions, why somethings the way it is, who they’re with, they ramble off immediately with their abuser not even having to say a word, instead just give them a look that has them panicked.

Jonas is starting to panic, he’s fearful of Dean, he doesn’t want to upset him and he wants to make sure if He’s okay with it.

What Dean is saying doesn’t sound... Threatening if you got it out of context.

It could be a genuine question from a curious parent but the way Dean is saying it, showing it, and expresses it, is very negative. But still, it’s a very causal question that Jonas feels the need to ramble about it Again.

Victims of abuse feel the need to explain themselves always, I can’t stress this enough.

It’s never “Oh yeah, we’re doing a project on the flood.” or “Yup, we were assigned as partners, that’s how the teacher does it.” Jonas has to go into detail, explaining what the project is, where he was, and why he was there, it can’t ever be a simple answer because Dean won’t condone that;.

Not to mention how jittery Jonas’s speech is, stuttering and the “uh” and ellipsis. He’s clearly nervous around Dean, especially with company.

This situation gradually gets worse with...

RED ALARMS RED ALARMS RED ALARMS

- Parental figure subtly insulting your weight

- Parental figure making a jab at your weight by insulting your eating habits

- Parental figure insinuating that because of you, you’re grossing people out due to your eating habits

- Parental figure being extremely subtle in wanting to control your eating habits by insulting and berating you in front of others, using said others as an excuse to humiliate you

People of all ages, this is emotional and subtle verbal abuse.

Not only that, but Jonas feels the need to Apologize for his behavior that didn’t need an apology! He’s so quick to believe Dean, thinking that what he’s saying is right and what he’s doing is wrong! It’s conditioning caused by psychological abuse!!!

You start to believe someone when they say it repeatedly to you because it becomes ingrained!!!

- HOMOPHOBIC!!!!!!!!!!! SHAMING JONAS!!!!! SHAMING BOTH JONAS AND MITCH AT THE IDEA THEY MIGHT BE MISTAKEN AS A COUPLE!!!!!!!!!!

I love how this is ALSO disguised as a “I know better than you” shtick because it’s something abusive parents use all the time.

“I just want you to be safe! People are gonna think something’s up!” Making Jonas believe that Dean wants what’s best for him but that’s not the case. He’s being abusive, taking control, and trying to make Jonas who he wants to be.

Dean says it himself, hiding his insults, demands, and being a TOTAL DICK behind this idea of “looking out for Jonas”

Again, he’s trying to make it seem like his word is superior, it should be followed, respected. He makes himself out to be Good which is some of the most Scariest abusers out there.

They seem so... Nice. So normal, and regular, they seem like true genuine parents that are looking out for their kids. You don’t notice his need for control and wanting to make others inferior because he hides it behind this message of being a good father.

Thankfully, Mitch doesn’t buy into it cause he’s seen this all before with his own abusive stepdad!!

When Mitch calls Dean out he has just disrupted the equilibrium of an abuser.

Dean who everyone’s looked up, respected out of fear of judgement, followed his every word, and was silent when he was talking has just been talked back to and he doesn’t know how to handle it.

Everyone looks at Mitch in shock because NO ONE has ever had the guts to talk back to Dean, the one who is in power. He is in control, and it’s painfully obvious so Mitch disrupting this balance is unsettling.

.... WHEW

Lets start with... The victims of Dean’s abusive behavior.

Jonas and Sue.

Jonas immediately tries to change subjects then goes so far as the grab Mitch and take him to his room. Sue tries to calm down Dean by calling him “dear.” Why? In this case, Mitch... Even though said very harshly, is in the right.

But the Victims are terrified of the abuser when he gets angry. They try to diffuse the situation because they don’t want outsiders getting to see the man that is Dean.

Either believing they “won’t understand’ are so conditioned and psychologically abused to believe they must not let anyone see their abuser being abusive, making apologies and excuses for them and trying to leave the scene.

I’VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR 5 YEARS OKAY!!!

After Dean walks in on Mitch and Jonas, Dean doesn’t say Anything. He looks at them with a shocked face and then slams the door shut.

Let’s think of this scene in a different light. A parent walks in on their kid and their “friend” in a compromising position. In a fit of embarrassment for all parties, the parent slams the door shut because OH MY GOSH I JUST DID THAT!!!

Well, that doesn’t fit the bill for this because Jonas reacts with Fear.

Jonas very quickly is thrown in a panic. Dean didn’t even have to say ANYTHING but Jonas knows hes in trouble and he’s gonna suffer the consequences. He wants Mitch to leave as soon as possible not because he’s angry with Mitch but because he’s Scared of what Dean might do to him.

This may seem weird but often times.... Victims of abuse don’t really... Want outside help in the heat of a moment.

They don’t want to make anyone experience the wrath of their abusive parent. It’s a need to protect others for not witnessing what the victim goes through every day and a lot of the times, a victim feels Embarrassed by their parents actions and want to hide them away, deal with it themselves. He makes Mitch leave because of this.

.... HITS HOME.

This page, hurts a whole Lot.

The silence, tension, fear of having to approach your abuser and explain yourself. Dean only has to stand there and looking menacing and it’s enough to make Jonas panic.

Again, Dean doesn’t have to start a conversation, Jonas does, trying to desperately explain himself. He is being submissive, inferior, and weak to his abuser and it’s crushing.

NEED I SAY ANY WORDS???

DEAN IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL, EMOTIONAL, AND VERBALLY ABUSIVE ASSHAT!!!!!!!!! DO NOT CONDONE HIS ACTIONS OR BELIEVE HE IS IN THE RIGHT!!!!

DEAN WAGNER IS AN ABUSER

#dean wagner #abuse #fatherly abuse #why did i do this #i just hate dean #hes AN ABUSER!!!!!! #GHGGH #THIS IS SO LONG IJM SO SORRY

[everythingmustgo]

I am an Aries sun with a Virgo moon and my best friend is a Gemini sun with an Aries moon - what do you think of the pairing?

hmmm okay so first things first if ur an aries sun virgo moon ur sense of self is STRONG nd rooted in taking action and leadership, starting new projects, ur full of energy nd constantly want to b trying new things, doing things Ur way aries r v individual nd kind of channel the whole its my way or the highway state of mind. however virgos r v practical nd analytical, rl problem solvers, often other peoples tbh, they enjoy helping others nd often people will catch onto this nd will take advantage of their helpful nature. even tho virgos enjoy helping others being used will make them feel betrayed. big on refinement. theyre never satisfied with how things are, hence helping others change, nd need to constantly improve things on a practical level. imo virgo moons r highly emotionally intelligent. bc its ur moon id say ur probably very supportive and helpful when ur friends r unhappy. not a big listener (aries sun) but practical solutions r ur shit, ppl come to u for help bc u might not hav the knack of knowing what to say but u Always kno what to do. same w ur own emotions, altho u think thru ur problems u rarely allow ur emotions to rule u, u think practically nd solve the problem like a puzzle. virgos may not allow themselves to feel as much as necessary but they dont let their own issues go unfixed. gonna hav a bit of a Clash w ur aries impulsivity nd ur virgo need for structure nd routine, u trust ur instincts but when ur instincts r wrong ur impulsive behaviour can cause panic (id like 2 add ur instincts​ r Probably often right tho). also CONTROL it just occured to me aries sun virgo moons r going 2 b controlling as FUCK aries need control in the form of leadership nd not being told what to do nd virgos need control in the form of structure nd routine YIKES. losing control of urself is a Big Fear. as for ur friend geminis r fun nd social nd good friends 2 hav !!! often their personalities hav a sort of duality to em so if ur not close friends its possible u dont kno what everything abt them, but if u are close u might b one of the lucky few who do. indecisive, always in 2 minds !!! geminis, unlike aries, never kno what tha FUCK they want. so they try everything. well, they need 2 anyway, a gemini who is limiting themselves is gonna feel trapped nd v small nd generally unhappy. lucky 4 ur friend, ur an aries !!! so u gotta b tryin a bit of everything too!!! aries throw themselves headfirst into everything nd dont think abt the consequences (tho ur virgo moon means that its v likely the consequences r always in the back of ur mind somewhere), nd bc aries r so enthusiastic nd ready for challenge its likely u drag ur friend into all the shit u get into. u call the shots in this relationship. geminis cant make decisions for shit nd aries like to b the leader so id say ur probably making all the decisions for them nd mayb not even realising it? its so ingrained in ur nature to b the decision maker nd geminis r so willing to rely on others to make their decisions for them u might not even notice it happening. also w their aries moon they probs experience emotion nd their inner self the way u experience ur own personality nd outward self nd so u probably connect from this on a very deep level !!! even if u dont feel similar or recognise that this is the reason for ur connection seeing as its ur sun nd their moon in aries so theirs is more hidden, u most likely feel a connection that u mayb couldnt put ur finger on or explain before. u relate to eachother, but v subtly. imo its likely ur friend looks up to u a lot !!! they recognise their inner self in u and their gemini sun gives way a bit to this bc geminis usually hav a p unstable sense of self (opposite of an aries!) nd needs u to recognise their emotional side. before they reveal/ed their full personality to u, its likely they first show/ed u their more emotional, personal side bc of their moon connection to u. also geminis nd virgos r a match made in heaven imo! both r smart as heck nd good for eachother, virgos r gonna help geminis make decisions that r best for them nd not necessarily for u (soz aries but ur decisions r p much always in ur own interest) nd geminis r gonna b suuuper mentally stimulating for virgos bc they hav so many thoughts nd ideas nd virgos love to come to their own conclusions on them. ur friend nd u r probs close on an emotional level despite initial personality differences. i think im gonna end this soon bc its quite long but my main advice would be: listen to ur moon signs!!!!! ur gemini friend could feel that ur overbearing as ur so strong minded nd theyre not, nd u might not always respect them as an individual. a pissed off gemini is not someone u wanna b around. passive aggressive, will bitch behind ur back, nd if things get too much for ur friend they will EXPLODE on u (aries moon) nd u might feel confused abt what uve done wrong bc taking control is so natural to u. plus theyre not clear at all, geminis might b snappy nd vindictive nd wont fully explain the problem to u at all. terrible for ur virgo moon bc u Need To Solve It. ur gemini friend needs to listen to their moon sign so this doesnt happen. theyre an aries like u!!! deep down they kno what they want theyre just scared to express it. but if they express it nd make decisions for themselves sometimes, its gonna save a lot of bother. u need to listen to ur virgo moon nd help ur friend come to their own decisions nd realise that sometimes u need to let them do their own thing nd emotionally support them w this. ur relationship could b v v strong especially w the same signs (bonus point I think an aries sun nd an aries moon hav more potential to b close than 2 aries suns bc they’d both b so strong minded nd hav such a need for individuality theres more potential to clash than w a sun nd moon, the latter of which is more subdued) u connect in a way of unexplained understanding, but theres also potential for a power imbalance, namely u overpowering ur friend. not that geminis r weak, theyll come back at u in their own quiet way if u piss them off theyll play some fucked up mind games w u, but id say that if u both pay attention to what ur moon instincts r telling u, theres nothing stopping u from having a strong nd close relationship w a lot of mutual understanding

thank u!!!

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