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when I was a little girl, emmanuel beart’s angel from “date with an angel” was the epitome of female beauty and I didn’t look like her in the slightest so I had resignedly accepted I was ugly or at most, I was not beautiful. and I remember having a feeling that was too big for me to understand at the time but recalling it now, I think it was something like relief. I thought I’d never have to try to be beautiful because I simply wasn’t and that was that.

I didn’t understand then that the culture I was raised in not only demanded I try, I must kill every thought I had of myself that was not absolutely concerned to devoted mimicry in sacrifice to the altar of beauty.

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