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theelast-straw · 4 months

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10 BL Characters I Would Hit With My Car

big thank you to @buddhamethods for starting this. I thought it sounded like a fun idea and just had to participate because I have Opinions™ :)

I am hitting some of these characters with only the best intentions and some of them out of pure spite

1) Shin (Bake Me Please)

if you've seen me post about this show or if you've seen it yourself, you know exactly why this guy is on here and also why he's the main reason why I just had to join in on this trend

square up, Shin, I'm hitting you with my car for all that bs and also to help with your character development a little <3

(I didn't find a fitting gif so have a pic as a great summary for why he's on here instead)

2) Way (Pit Babe)

listen I love him. after all if evil why pretty? but he's also a b*tch and he deserves to get hit by a car a little. as a treat. he's my pathetic little meow meow and I love to see him suffer (affectionate) <3

I'm also doing this as a public service so that Babe and Charlie can stay in their weird mama & papa boyfriends era without Way pulling his mind fuckery tricks on Babe

3) Kim (Kinnporsche)

hitting him with my car very lovingly simply bc he made Chay sad and we can't have that. maybe a little car accident can get him to actually admit that he's head over heels in love.

(and also because this man is way too pretty and I need to confirm that he's actually human)

4) Top (Only Friends)

listen. I believe that all of the Only Friends characters deserve to get hit by a car a little. all of them. but this man dared to say that he was serious and then went ahead and slept with someone else so. there's that.

5) Xue Yang (The Untamed/MDZS)

the most evil fucker for absolutely no reason. completely irredeemable. has the world's worst reason for being evil. I love him so much.

this guy is so fucked up that he managed to spend 3 years being all domestic with his nemesis only to realize that he actually developed feelings for him after he had already caused his death

there is absolutely no way to fix him but I'm still hitting him with my car for the amount of emotional damage he caused me with those god damn pieces of candy

6) Akk (The Eclipse)

I love him to bits and that is exactly why I'm knocking him tf out. very lovingly and rather softly but enough to give him some time off. because he deserves a break from all of the absolutely godawful authority figures in his life and what they're putting him through

7) August (Last Twilight)

this fucking b*tch.

I don't think I need to explain why I'm coming at him full speed. this is an act of public service, your honor, I'm doing nothing wrong.

8) Phee (Dead Friend Forever)

okay I know we've only had him for one single episode but this man is already stressing me out with the way he just threw away his cigarette bud in the middle of a god damn forest. sir what are you doing.

I'm only preserving the environment by hitting him with my car and getting him out of that forest, really

(also I can't pinpoint why but this guy is sus af and I don't trust him)

(the scene of crime, your honor)

9) Sprite & Zee's mom (Twins)

after @buddhamethods already took care of Zee (thank you for your service), I am volunteering to take out their mom. this woman needs the world's biggest wake-up call and since her own damn son ending up in a hospital didn't seem to do the trick, maybe herself ending up there will help

10) GramBlack double feature (Not Me)

the absolute audacity of these men to not be in love? after all of that?? I'm hitting them with my car because maybe ending up in hospital beds next to each other will finally get someone to admit that that G did not stand for Eugene what the actual fuck

(listen there are barely any scenes with actual Black and Gram together I'm working with the smallest of crumbs here bear with me)

tagging all of my moots. all of you. if you consider me your mutual, consider yourself tagged.

#tag game #bake me please #pit babe the series #kinnporsche #only friends the series #the untamed #the eclipse #last twilight #dead friend forever #twins the series #not me the series #only friends spoilers #the untamed spoilers #not me spoilers #thai bl

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dyeyourhandsblue · 2 years

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White vs Black: The evolution of Sean’s feelings

I started writing this post after I saw some people confused about the evolution of Sean’s feelings and “how come he’s trying to kill White in ep 6, taking his hand under a pride flag in ep 7 and kissing him in ep 8?????”. It was supposed to be a quick post after episode 8, but it uhhh quickly got way bigger than expected lmao so it got put on the back burner for a bit. But then this great post about the link between the romance and the politics of Not Me made me want to finally finish this, so here you have it: 3300 words all about the evolution of Sean’s feelings for White.

The thing about Not Me is that it’s, for White, our mc, an identity story. It’s by pretending to be someone else, and losing himself, that White actually finds his true self. So, it makes sense that his romance would also relate to this. Sean being the person who’s most suspicious of White’s act as Black and the one who’s constantly calling him out on it, isn’t just a coincidence; it’s by design. Just like White finds his true self by acting as Black, Sean falls in love not with actual Black, but with all the ways this “new Black” is different; aka, he’s been falling for White’s true self since the first episode.

Sean experiences an enemies to lovers speedrun arc because at first he thinks he’s interacting with Black but he’s actually interacting with White. And so, during the entire first half of the show, Sean interacts with White like he would normally interact with Black, and gets constantly tripped up by how he gets reactions he wasn’t expecting from “Black”, until it all culminates into episode 6.

There are three main points that keep tripping Sean up every time he interacts with White:

1) Black is just as aggressive and violent as Sean, if not more;

2) Black is just as much of a control freak as Sean, if not more;

3) Black (presumably) doesn’t care about Sean as a person.

And then here comes White shattering every single one of these perceptions, in increasingly impactful ways.

Understanding Sean’s dynamic with Black (or his perception of it) is fundamental to understanding seanwhite’s own timeline, because just like White vs Black is a central part of the main story, it’s a central part of Sean and White’s romance.

1) Violence

Sean and White’s first meeting is immediately tainted with the potential for violence - and in fact, the first two/three episodes are mostly focused on this aspect. Sean is presented, to the audience and to White, as someone who has violence/aggression as his baseline. Whoever, as we see Sean interact with other characters (especially with Namo), we see that this first impression is wrong. And in fact, when we go back to those first scenes with White, we can see that Sean acts aggressive expecting to receive an equal response. Sean and Black’s relationship is built on violence. If Sean punches Black, he expects Black to punch back harder; if not to be the one to punch first.

In a way, Sean’s relationship with Black can be seen as a microcosmos of Sean’s relationship with life. He doesn’t expect gentleness or softness to come from it, just violence. And so, when White breaks Sean’s expectations of violence as Black, he’s breaking Sean’s view on life in general.

When Sean acts violent or aggressive, White never matches his energy. He cringes back, he looks afraid, he wields. That forces Seans to reevaluate his own behavior, and to even acknowledge that this new Black... may be physically weaker than him? Which was unthinkable, but appears to be the truth now. Not only that, but this new Black lets himself appear vulnerable in front of Sean, not only physically but also emotionally - again something unthinkable because Black is extremely closed off and never let’s others see what he’s thinking. But now this new Black appears to be opening up to Sean, of all people. And that makes Sean unconsciously slip into a caretaker/protector role.

Saving “Black” from the fire, helping him with his wounds, catching him when he falls - it’s all unwilling at first, but it puts Sean in a position that he hasn’t been in for a long time, if ever. Sean couldn’t protect his family, and he seems to never have had anyone that he can take care of. Sean’s vengeance will only become possible with violence, and the gang’s missions rely on his violence. That’s the way he found to become useful to his friends and his goals. His friendship with Namo is an exception, but even then that’s a casual relationship (at least for Sean), and she’s removed from his “real life”, aka the gang. White, meanwhile, isn’t. He is the first person who knows the truth about Sean’s life and yet is helped not by Sean’s violence, but by his caretaking.

2) Control

The other big point of Sean and Black’s relationship seems to be their constant struggles for power. Now this is interesting because this only appears as an issue later; the first mission we see was Black’s mission, and Sean had no problem following his orders. It’s when Sean gets his own mission that his doubts creep in: he doesn’t trust Black to respect him and follow his orders like Sean respected and followed Black.

Sean’s new relationship with White also doesn’t offer a quick fix to this problem. White wields to Sean, yes; he doesn’t have any problems with giving his power to Sean (something Sean finds suspicious and immediately calls out). But White also isn’t afraid to disagree with Sean’s plans.

That becomes a big issue for their relationship because at first, both of them are interpreting the situation differently. White objects to Sean’s mission because he wants Sean to succeed, and so he points out the flaws in Sean's plan as a way to make it better. It’s constructive criticism, if you will. White’s monologue in episode 5 is important to illustrate where he’s coming from: he trusts Sean, and so he wants Sean to trust him too. He wants them to work together.

However, that’s not how Sean interprets it. Because Black never (presumably, from Sean’s pov) wanted to work together, or trusted him, or respected him as a leader. When Black criticizes Sean’s plan, it’s because he wants to tear him down, and take the control/power back to himself. He can’t see White’s concerns for what they are, genuine concern for his well being and a genuine desire to see him succeed. He only sees Black not believing in him. For Sean, Black only gave him power because he wants to watch Sean crash and burn.

3) Care

And the reason why Sean doesn’t believe White-as-Black when he says he’s criticizing Sean’s plan because he wants him to succeed, is because Sean believes Black never cared about him.

It’s clear Black leaving Sean behind in one of their missions was a decisive moment for Sean in regards to his feelings towards Black. Sean admires Black’s ideology and strength, but this admiration and trust extends only to the mission - he doesn’t trust Black as a person, and he especially doesn’t trust Black to care for him.

It’s interesting to note, then, that the times Sean helps White in the first two episodes are with the assumption that this help won’t be reciprocated. White unlocks Sean’ protective instincts, but at first it’s with not only the confusion over WHY Black is suddenly triggering these feelings in him, but also probably quite a bit of bitterness over the belief that said protectiveness won’t be reciprocated or appreciated.

And White snapping at the gang/Sean after the fire is an interesting contrast to Black leaving Sean after their mission, because the twins disappoint Sean in both instances, but for opposite reasons. Black left Sean behind for the mission; Sean can respect the ideology behind it, but personally, it hurt him and destroyed any kind of relationship he could have with Black. With White, however, the problem is the opposite. White’s concerns were about the potential cost of life, and the impact their actions would have on other people. That is something that (presumably) was never a worry for Black, and it was his one point of connection with Sean: the mission above all else. And suddenly Black, who never cared about others, is trying to lecture them? Black, who never cared about him? It clearly leaves Sean very shaken, to the point he seeks outside validation to confirm he’s still on the right path, ideologically speaking.

That’s the first time Sean encounters White’s brand of worry and care for others. But then they start sharing a room, and Sean starts seeing more and more of this side of White - and it all focused on him.

This is probably the first time since his parents passed away that someone tried to comfort Sean while he was having a nightmare. It’s the first time someone sees him so vulnerable, and decides to offer shelter.

Keep in mind that White is still trying to pretend to be Black here, therefore trying to pretend he dislikes and doesn’t care about Sean. But still Sean can see right through him - because White does a terrible job of impersonating Black, yes, but also because Sean knows Black well, and he knows Black would never be this gentle with him.

Sean can already see right through White, even in these first episodes. He can sense the real him behind White’s facade - and that’s what has him so confused. He’s seeing someone new where he should be seeing Black.

Episode 6: The Breaking Point

The first five episodes of Not Me are used to establish Sean and White’s attraction and their initial dynamic: both can see through the other’s masks, and that’s what connects them to each other but also leaves them so confused.

White can see through Sean’s mask of violence and righteousness into his fragile true self, and White doesn’t have any past baggage with Sean, so by episode 5 he had already decided to trust him. Sean can see through White’s mask of Black into his true self, but he does have past baggage with Black... which is why he can’t bring himself to fully trust White. So by episode 6, Sean and White are in different stages when it comes to each other, and that’s what makes their relationship reach their lowest point: White drops the Black mask and starts interacting with Sean as himself, but Sean is still treating White as Black.

Episode 6 starts with Sean’s test for White. It’s interesting that the test is a parallel to the incident that made Sean stop trusting Black - what hurt Sean, Black’s lack of care for him as a person, is what he wants to see here. It’s a sign of how Sean and Black are actually very alike (which is one of the reasons why they don’t get along), but it’s also a sign of Sean’s deteriorating mental health and the downward spiral he’s going through in this episode.

White obviously doesn’t do what Black would do - just like he helped Sean with the tear gas, he sells out the others to save Sean. While both scenes parallel Black’s, there’s an escalation here, because when White helps Sean with the tear gas, he’s still trying to pretend to be Black. So he says “if it was real life, I’d leave you for dead”, and then Sean calls his bluff here. But now White isn’t even trying to pretend to be Black, so not only he saves Sean’s life, he also then says “Your life is more valuable than you think”.

That obviously has a big impact on Sean; as already established, Sean has not experienced this kind of care since his parents passed away, and it’s a shock this is coming from Black, of all people. Sean can’t reconcile the old Black who didn’t care about him with this new one, who not only cares but is so blatant about it too. He can’t let himself believe Black is being sincere.

That’s why he doesn’t respond to White’s subsequent attempts at discussing the plan with anything besides “it’s my plan, you should follow my orders”. Because that’s the only way he can understand Black, through their respect for the mission. If Black really does care, he will respect Sean’s orders just like Sean respected Black’s.

But it’s not Black here, it’s White. And it’s White trying to reach Sean as White, his Black facade completely dropped. But Sean is interpreting these interactions through the wrong lens. When White tries to reach out to Sean about the problems with his plan, Sean only sees Black trying to undermine him and not trusting him once again.

That’s why when White sabotages the plan, Sean sees this as the ultimate betrayal. He can’t interpret it as White trying to stop the gang from commiting a huge error; he can only see it as Black once again undermining his authority, not respecting or trusting him with a plan, and doing everything to ruin his ideas.

And Sean reacts to this perceived betrayal like he usually reacts to Black: with violence.

The ending scene of episode 6 is meant to be shocking to the audience, meant to showcase the lowest point of Sean’s relationship with White. But notice that White isn’t exactly surprised that Sean reacts so violently. And everything becomes clear when Black comes back after episode 9, and we actually see the two interact; that level of violence is just… how Black and Sean interact.

What makes it shocking is that Sean thinks he’s dealing with Black, the strongest fighter of the team who can more than hold his own in a fight. But he’s actually inflicting all this violence on White, who we already established is the opposite of Black when it comes to this topic. That’s why this scene is so violent: it’s the culmination of Sean and White’s miscommunication, but also of White’s own act of trying to live as himself through Black’s identity.

Episode 7: The Middleground

To understand how Sean and White go from their lowest point in one episode, to holding hands under the pride flag in the next episode, you need to pay attention to not only their scenes together, but also what’s going on outside their bubble - in this case, Sean’s scenes with Yok and Yok’s mom.

To recap, Sean is very confused and hurt because he’s affected by this new Black, and the care this new Black shows towards him, but he can’t let himself trust him because of the history he has with old Black. And when White sabotaged his plan, Sean saw that as confirmation that Black was only building Sean up to watch him fail.

That’s where the politics come in. When Yok says Sean’s plan had good intentions but was badly executed, and then Yok’s mom shows how Sean’s plan affected the workers, these are all outside sources confirming what White kept trying to tell Sean during episode 6. The scenes are used to open Sean to the idea that maybe he’s been misunderstanding this new “Black” all along. And then, Sean goes to the protest and sees that it was successful… and sees White amongst the protesters, holding a pride flag and screaming “Tawi out, marriage equality!”.

The politics are what makes Sean finally reach the same point White reached in episode 5, of finally accepting he trusts this person. When Sean sees the protest White sparked, and how successful it was, he sees White really wasn’t trying to sabotage his plan; he was being truthful when he said he wanted to see Sean succeed. The politics tie into the interpersonal: the realization of White being on his side politically speaking makes Sean realize he’s not like the “old Black”, and that this care and attention the “new Black” is showing towards him is real.

So this isn’t a sudden 180º; Sean doesn’t go from hating White to loving him in one episode. The connection and attraction Sean feels towards White were built during the first episodes, and episode 6 was the last hurdle he had to go through before finally acknowledging he really is falling for “Black”.

And he’s not completely in love yet; like the director and the actors said, this is where Sean starts falling in love. After he accepts he was wrong about White, he decides to try trusting White’s word that he cares about him, and see where it leads him. And so he goes to White’s (Black’s) home.

Episode 8: The Realization

Sean chooses to take this chance of maybe opening up to White, and of course White blows this opportunity out of the water, and more than surpasses expectations. Note that the conversation in Black’s room starts with politics before delving into Sean’s personal backstory. And the backstory serves to, amongst other things, explain Sean’s ideology. Once again the politics tie in with the interpersonal, and are intrinsic to understanding it.

So Sean chooses to try opening up to White, and is met with 100% of White’s care and acceptance. White says with all words that he trusts Sean, and wants Sean to trust him too. And Sean didn’t trust White the last time, and things didn’t end well. So now he decides to believe in White’s word.

Of course, we the audience know White isn’t being completely truthful, and in fact he’s being a bit of a hypocrite, saying he wants Sean to trust him when White isn’t telling him the whole truth. But the thing is: Sean, on some level, is aware of that.

White’s identity arc doesn’t end this episode, but its relation to the romance reaches a climax here. Because it’s where Sean discovers he doesn’t know the whole truth, but decides to trust White anyway, accept he fell in love, and pursue this love.

There’s no way to know if Sean arrived at Black’s house already suspicious and with a plan to get White drunk and go through his things while he’s asleep, or if he got suspicious after their talk. The thing is Sean was suspecting something about how different this “new Black” was acting. And after he went through his things, he knew for sure something was going on. He knew “Black” was keeping something from him, he just didn’t know what exactly.

So what does Sean decide to do? He “punishes” White by tying him to the bed, and then immediately after that decides he’ll kiss him anyway and not pressure him about telling the truth before he’s ready.

That’s his trust fall.

As much as we all wanted Sean to already know the truth, the more I think about it, the more I think making Sean not know was the right choice, thematically speaking. Because it’s easy to “trust” someone who’s keeping secrets when you already know said secrets, right? That’s not really trust. The real difficulty is knowing someone is keeping something big from you, not knowing exactly what it is (even if you have your suspicions), and choosing to put your trust on them anyway.

And Sean does that because he may not know White’s name, but he knows who he is. It doesn’t matter that White is posing as Black, because all of his actions towards Sean have been 100% White. And White already proved that to Sean, when he showed him compassion, care, comforted him through his nightmares, and offered him sincere, effective help towards his goal of ending Tawi.

The themes of White vs Black, White’s identity, and White’s ideologies all tie together into the realization that White may not be sure of who he is right now, but even when he doesn’t know, Sean knows, and Sean loves him. And that’s what’s going to carry them through the second half of White’s arc, when Black comes back and rightfully takes back his life.

#not me the series #not me #not me spoilers #seanwhite #tv

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