#not of a particular bad but sad boy having a literal panic attack

[dannydanoninoo]

What a lovely episode where nothing bad happened and Raine proposes to Eda right people?

#nothing traumatizing at all #nope #no angst #or confirmation of what we knew already in an angsty way #nope not at all #im crying of happiness not of sadness #not of a particular bad but sad boy having a literal panic attack #aaaaaaaaaaa #aaaaaaaaaaaaa #the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #luz noceda #hunter toh #toh hunter #hollow mind #the raeda crumbs tho beautiful

[naynay5155]

C!Tommy’s Storyline With C!Dream Is A Very Concerning Depiction Of Abuse

Wild Title 

Okay, I’m sure that this probably isn’t too new information for anyone paying attention to the overall story of the DreamSMP, especially C!Tommy’s storyline, but I figured I’d give my two cents for this anyways. 

C!Tommy is an Abuse Victim who has gone through horrific stuff at the hands of C!Dream. This is not an arguable fact. regardless of if C!Dream had reasons for doing what he did, if C!Dream also later gets abused, or if ultimately the abuse portrayal could be considered in some ways flawed or unrealistic, that stuff doesn’t ultimately matter. Because we’ve seen what happened to C!Tommy during Exile, have seen the physical, emotional, and mental abuse he was put through. Just because they won’t call it Abuse doesn’t mean it isn’t Abuse.

Now, C!Tommy being an abuse victim is an interesting idea from a storytelling perspective. It has a lot of potential to lead to genuine character development, or to affect relationships and story beats in interesting ways. And it could be an interesting way to really say something about abuse and coping with it. 

And to an extent, an argument could be made that it has, though I’d argue the exact way those are handled in canon, but not the point. The point is, abuse is not just something that you get to gloss over. If you want to include themes of abuse in the story, a story you are making available to the public for millions to see, then there needs to be a clear and obvious message being portrayed with including abuse in the story. Preferably, that abuse is bad, and can have majorly negative effects on anyone, especially children. We don’t always get that lucky, but whatever. 

But, from my months of watching the story of the DreamSMP, and trust me I’ve been here a long while, I haven’t seen C!Tommy’s abuse being handled very... well. I could, of course, be wrong in some aspects, and maybe be misremembering stuff since this dumpster fire has been happening for a year now, and feel free to correct me or bring up more points if you know something I don’t. But, I still think that overall, I have a point of view that should be considered. 

So basically, C!Tommy is an abuse victim, right? this is easy to see, very obvious in the way he acts and behaves. Or... is it? 

Abuse is a complex topic and one that, in real life, presents itself in all sorts of forms. Many abuse victims were raised in unloving homes and ended up becoming more vulnerable to abuse later on in life as a result of that. Others never properly learned how to express emotions or turn people down and got taken advantage of. Others were abused from the start, and develop various ways of coping and dealing with that, even ways that they might not be fully conscious of themselves. Abuse is not a one-way street, it could hardly be considered a street at all given how diverse and differing the people who experience it end up developing into are. 

So I’m not saying that, if C!Tommy were a real person, that he isn’t “Being traumatized enough” or that “Why isn’t he more like what I expect him to be like?”. That is not what I’m saying at all.

What I am saying, is that C!Tommy is a fictional character who exists within a narrative, a story. And in a good story, consistency is half the battle. I, as the audience consuming the story, need to be able to look at C!Tommy and pick up on and understand the effects abuse has had on him. And these effects need to be consistent, otherwise, as an audience member, I’m going to get confused and start having questions about why he acts one way here but doesn’t somewhere else.

I also need to be able to clearly see and understand, by being given narrative stepping stones, if something is changing for his character.

As the saying goes, “Show don’t tell”. C!Tommy can’t just say he “Goes to Puffy for Therapy” offhandedly one time, as a means of handwaving away why he doesn’t really consistently act as traumatized as he used to even though it’s literally only been a few weeks, or months at most. To explain how he can jump back between being really sad and depressed about something, to joking about Women and Twitter. It seems weird if he’s able to just so seamlessly, so effortlessly, go back and forth. Almost as if he’s bouncing between OOC and IC, but that’s a whole other discussion. 

Sure, C!Tommy is representing real mental health issues, but he is, ultimately a Fictional Character existing in a story. I need to be given signs, proof, foreshadowing, to explain when he has certain reactions and behaviours in order to understand his character. And these need to be consistent, otherwise we get plotholes and general confusion.

I criticize the inconsistency and the offscreen handwaving because it’s generally not very good writing. It’s the same reason I disliked Eret’s basically off-screen-sort-of-redemption-arc. It’s the same reason people dislike it when Villains of previous seasons suddenly come back as fully reformed good guys for seemingly no reason. There is no arc, no development, no progress is shown to us. 

Because when you’re telling a story about a character having some major change or developing in some way, or having an important character trait, if I don’t see it on screen, then it didn’t happen. How am I supposed to root for C!Tommy’s progress, or understand what he’s doing to progress, if a never see his coping mechanisms? His therapy appointments? 

You can’t just say something, or inconsistently portray something, and expect me to jump through hoops to connect these nearly transparent dots that keep getting thrown around. 

Show don’t tell. Show me Tommy getting better, because otherwise you’re just telling me he made character development, and showing me this completely different character as proof. No, last I remembered C!Tommy was having panic attacks and yelling when C!Dream was even mentioned. You can’t tell me that a day later he can interact normally after days of being in the prison and a month of being dead.

Or, if you are gonna have him flip flop back and forth, don’t have it be so sudden and jarring, give an explanation. Is he faking being fine? Does he have memory issues? C!Tommy doesn’t read to me as the type who’s good at suppressing his emotions, he wears his heart on his sleeve. So you’re going to have to explain, clearly, in a way that isn’t ambiguous, what’s happening with C!Tommy here.

You’re not really saying anything about the abuse C!Tommy goes through, if all of that trauma is automatically wiped from the story when the writers get too lazy or too scared to keep it in. At best, you are showing abuse and trauma for the sole purpose of showing it, with no intention of properly dealing with and addressing it in the story. At worst, you are basically just doing torture porn. 

Pain, Hurt, Trauma for the sake of it. Not with any goal in mind. Just for the drama of it, or to hurt the audience. 

And then your audience is just supposed to take that content in uncritically, and they gain no true understanding of how abuse victims survive and cope after their traumatic treatment.

Exile Arc sure did a good job at making C!Tommy suffer. But as soon as that arc ended, a lot of the stuff that happened in it went completely glossed over and unaddressed for a long while. That might have been fine in the lead-up to Doomsday, since a lot of plot stuff had been going on and stopping to handle C!Tommy’s issues might (Might is heavily doubted cause it certainly isn’t impossible) mess with the pacing a bit. But then after Doomsday, there isn’t really any excuse to put it off. Because nothing was really happening for a good while, and nobody had anything to do plotwise. 

And this became even more true with C!Dream being locked in Prison. Nothing was really happening, so what was stopping the story from taking the time to properly discuss and deal with this stuff?

Well, nothing really. So, the Hotel Arc happened. And oh boy, was it a mess. 

So, C!Tommy being angry at C!Dream for the abuse and trauma he has suffered at Dream’s hand isn’t an issue. It’s an incredibly common thing for victims to feel angry at their abusers, and to even go so far as to wish for vengeance against them in some way. And that’s a totally valid and fine feeling. 

You’re hurting, you’re scared, you’re in pain. I get that. When we’re hurting, we don’t always act rationally or healthily.

But, ultimately, that rage, and hurt, and want for vengeance is not a healthy thing to hold onto. In many circumstances with an abuse victim wanting to inflict pain back on their abuser, we run into various problems. 

For one, getting vengeance on your abuser is quite frequently going to give you more emotional pain than it will fulfilment. Especially if you are young, or are letting this want for vengeance take over your entire livelihood. It does you no good ultimately, to attempt to bring pain to the person who hurt you, because not only will you often be unsuccessful, you frequently won’t find emotional healing and stability in that. 

(The only exception to this rule being if ignoring them or moving on from them isn’t an option for you right now.)

Actions have consequences, and if you invest more time in that person who hurt you, then you have no time to work on yourself or the relationships around you. You have no time to heal, and this can become self-destructive.

Spending time around an abuser, as a victim, is in all likelihood just going to upset you more. You’re retraumatizing yourself by spending time around them, and as you make attempts to give them their comeuppance, you could possibly end up internalizing the methods they used on you, and just end up perpetuating the cycle of abuse again. 

And even if you have no problem with doing that to this particular person, consider how fully internalizing these abusive behaviours could affect your friends or family. Frequently, even when they don’t mean to, abuse victims can internalize the things that they went through and then use those same behaviours against people in their life later on. Being shitty to your support system because of what you went through isn’t a good move, for you or them.

Basically just, an Abuse Victim has more to gain from working on themselves while finding ways to heal and overcome their trauma and abuse, than they do spending their time and energy on the abuser. Its frequently unhealthy, distressing, and self-destructive to indulge in that too much.

(Of course, I don’t speak for everyone, but from what iIve looked into and seen, this is the healthiest method of actually healing from your abuse. That doesn’t mean you just... leave your abuser alone and never address or talk about what they did, you don’t let them get away with it, of course not. It just means you don’t waste your mental well being and time obsessing over someone, especially someone who has hurt you so much.

You deserve better than that. You deserve to heal.)

Now, let’s get back to C!Tommy. 

C!Tommy, instead of finding a proper means of coping with his issues (proper therapy, diagnosis for his issues, forming and maintaining healthy support systems, focusing on things he loves, etc) is shown to repeatedly focus back on C!Dream. When he was making Big Innit Hotel, it did seem like he was to an extent finding ways to cope with his shit. He was still kinda shitty and his hotel was not exactly made and run by the most morally great standards, though I suppose I can’t expect too much when he is a very traumatized teen and doesn’t really know what he’s doing. 

But, ultimately, this all fell apart when he got locked in Pandora’s Vault with C!Dream. Arguably, it was already falling apart the moment he decided to keep pursuing C!Dream even when he was locked up.

See, the thing is, C!Tommy can never just… have trauma. Having trauma that he can healthily and methodically work through is something that for him as a Character, is basically impossible. His character is an angry one, one built on spite and childishness, and who holds the mantle, unfortunately, of “Spunky Male Protagonist In A YA Novel”. So, his mental health issues can never just be a struggle he has to cope with, especially not when the DreamSMP can never seem to have anything between “A lot is happening right now omg” or “Literally nothing is happening and nobody is playing on the server at all omg”.

Instead, his issues have to be seen as a battle, and they fuel the narrative of the story. Him having been abused by C!Dream cannot just exist as a thing that he as a person has to work through slowly with the help of others around him. It has to be seen as this Epic Triumph Against Evil, another battle of Tommyinnit VS Dream on the DreamSMP, a classic Villain versus Hero fight.

This, of course, isn’t too great. By C!Tommy’s abuse plotline being framed in this manner, it makes it so that C!Tommy is constantly obsessing over his abuser and recklessly throwing himself into dangerous and triggering situations is some attempt at an “Epic Battle With Evil”, rather than this being treated like the self-harm it actually is. And yes, it is self-harm, a form of it. 

C!Tommy uses his trauma and issues as fuel for the story, making it so that its impossible for him to truly progress and a character, and the moment he does start growing, he has to get retraumatized again so he goes right back to where he was.

C!Tommy does not become a better person when he’s around C!Dream, nor does he find any form of fulfilment in being around him. He gets shaky and panicky at just the sight of him. He regularly has violent and explosive outbursts at just the mention of him. When C!Dream talks to him, he gets nervous and basically can’t help but listen due to conditioning he still listens to. 

When C!Tommy went to go visit C!Dream the first time in Pandora’s Vault, he brought with him stacks of TnT. He did it because he wanted to mimic what C!Dream had done to him in Exile, where he would take all of C!Tommy’s newly gained items and blow them up underground for dramatic effect. 

C!Dream did this for control over C!Tommy, to manipulate him, for his suffering.

And C!Tommy wanted to do this to C!Dream, because he was feeling vindictive. 

When C!Tommy got into the prison, he mocked C!Dream, hit him repeatedly, and tried to boss him around. He made him write ridiculous books and verbally berated the man. He did this in a feeble attempt to gain some feeling of control over C!Dream. This, evidently, did not work. At best his success was momentary. And this sense of achievement he gained was gained through projecting his abuse trauma onto someone else.

He repeated the cycle. 

After he got brought back from the dead and let out of the prison, he was much much worse. C!Tommy was now paranoid, anxious, constantly thinking about C!Dream, and had his mindset solely on getting revenge on him, by killing him. 

It got so bad, he ended up doing lacklustre “Exposure Therapy” to help himself not panic when he went into Pandora’s Vault to kill C!Dream. It got so bad he dragged C!Tubbo and C!Ranboo into this, putting them in danger and putting more pressure on another two teenagers’ shoulders. 

It got so bad, that Ghostbur died, C!Sam closed off even more, and C!Wilbur came back. 

Objectively, C!Tommy leaving C!Dream alone would be the better thing for everyone. And yet he keeps repeating the cycle. Because C!Tommy is not meant to grow, learn and heal. He is made to suffer. 

The problem is not so much showing an unhealthy depiction of a mentally ill or traumatized person. Because trauma and mental illness and the effects of abuse are not always pretty, and they shouldn’t always have to be portrayed and pretty or sympathetic to be accurate. 

It becomes a problem when you get this depiction of C!Tommy’s coping being presented uncritically to an audience of a lot of underaged and young people. 

Nobody in canon, whether they be adults or fellow teens, has ever tried to question C!Tommy’s methods for coping. C!Ranboo and C!Tubbo just limply went along with his plans for Exposure Therapy with no consideration of if this was a good idea. No adults really offer to genuinely step in and help C!Tommy deal with his shit, and the ones that do leave him or get corrupted in some way, often leaving him with more trauma as they do. 

C!Puffy’s therapy methods are dubious at best, and the most we ever see of her actually helping C!Tommy is her humouring his toxic behaviours, and C!Tommy making offhanded mentions to vague therapists appointments we never see. 

C!Technoblade stopped giving a shit as soon as C!Tommy walked off the screen. C!Wilbur was dead, and now that he isn’t he certainly isn’t helping C!Tommy. C!Phil isn’t C!Tommy’s dad and has no obligation to do anything for him as a result. C!Ranboo has the backbone of a chocolate eclair. C!Tubbo is too busy repressing his own trauma to help C!Tommy with his. C!Sam is being ruled by the prison and C!Quackity. C!Quackity has become an Ancap. 

Nobody in this story is a reliable or trusted person to C!Tommy, who could properly tell him his methods are unhealthy and give him better alternatives. And as a result, nobody is able to tell the audience that C!Tommy is wrong 

Unreliable Narrators are only effective when the narrative in some way has their unreliableness pointed out or proven to the audience. If you go into a story with the assumption that everybody watching will be able to see past C!Tommy’s POV and not take him at face value, then you are naive. Especially when this fandom is made up of many teens and children. 

I only know C!Tommy’s methods are unhealthy because I care way too much and do my research. A vast majority of the world doesn’t have the same understanding and education on these topics, especially not children and teenagers. A good chunk of people, especially neurodivergent and mentally ill people, could very well take the story at face value and automatically assume that what Tommy’s doing is actually a good coping mechanism because they don’t know any better.

There is no clarification or safety net for preventing misinterpretation. And being of the opinion that “Well, they should know better than to trust a bunch of Minecraft Youtubers for this stuff” or “We can’t expect them to be psychologists! You expect too much” is just… not helping. 

Because I shouldn’t have to explain why children and teenagers, especially those that are using these people to cope, are not always going to make level-headed and common-sense decisions. They will be influenced by these Content Creators, whether we think it’s “Stupid” or not. 

And I can say with certainty that, while yes, this might be a bit much to expect from a bunch of British/American white guys who play Minecraft to handle, may I also point out that nobody fucking made them put this stuff in the story. There are ways to write a story without stepping outside of your realm of true understanding. Nobody begged these MCYTs to go and make torture porn for a 16 year old, nobody asked them to touch on topics they have no fucking clue about. 

They put that in themselves. And we have the right to point out the problems and flaws in it, and criticize them for not handling this stuff better. 

You don’t start applying for a job you don’t meet the requirements for. You don’t start an expensive project you can’t finish. 

You don’t include elements in a story you aren’t willing to fully go through with and address in a proper and sensitive way. 

#hope this makes sense #dreamsmp roleplay #dream smp critical #dreamsmp #dream smp #character analysis #c!tommy #c!dream #tw abuse discussion #tw abuse #negativity #dsmp critical #critical dsmp

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.

Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ･◡･) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.

so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that

good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler

bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one

good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao

bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god

(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.

but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)

anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today

huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on

look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months

anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol

yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all

still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol

(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)

anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol

aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting

buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy

wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on

damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo

I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol

uh oh but wait

um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do

holy shit

so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol

and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young

anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this

LMAO

someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol

(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)

anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about

oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man

now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse

OH MY GOD

YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO

lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art

anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces

lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off

he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today

on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose

YESSSSSSS

OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on

YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU

lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking

but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it

also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad

YESSSSSSSSSSS

DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH

p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f

UCK

NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE

fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god

WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck

-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT

bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now

my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them

how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what

(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)

Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment

on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao

anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that

and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob

#bnha 315 #overhaul #chisaki kai #lady nagant #midoriya izuku #all for one #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[over-under-through1]

Have any more headcanons for Robin, Mike, Robike(Them together), Miblo and Buttercup?

i’ll try to get a few of these down ><

Robin, Mike, and Robike gen headcannons:

Robin is deathly allergic to shell fish. she found this out okay her and mikes 2nd date, where he took her out for sushi, she got a tempura shrimp roll, and 10 minutes later had to be rolled out in an ambulance. never again. (don’t ask how she had never eaten it before)

in solidarity to her shell fish allergy, mike refuses to eat any kind of shell fish as well. call him a romantic.

mike is a HORRID singer. boy sounds like a car’s rev engine. it’s bad.

this fact does not stop him from tearing it up on karaoke night at the Utonium household

he is also a hopeless dancer. white boy dance moves for days. some of his favorites include: the lawmower, the sprinkler (basically any dance that’s named after backyard machinery), the running man, and worst of all, flossing

once again, this does not stop him from trying. “BABE!! BAE!! HUN!! LOVE!! LOOK AT ME GO!! COME OVER HERE LETS DANCE TOGETHER!!” *cue groaning and hiding behind Buttercup on Robins behalf as Buttercup laughs her ass off with Butch and records*

don’t get between Robin and her ice cream sandwiches. my girl turns into a banshee the second she spots one.

Mike cannot swallow pills. he has tried so, so hard, but year after year he ends up gagging and crushes them up to drink down with water. poor guy, don’t even bring advil liquigels into his line of vision

Mitch, Pablo, and Miblo gen headcannons:

when Mitch first saw Pablo walk into his 10th grade homeroom, he gay panicked, blue screened, mumbled at Buttercup “pretty… boy…” then zombie walked past her, the teacher, Pablo himself (who noticed and was immediately enamored with Mitch), out the room, past the vice principal, then trudged 4 miles home in a daze with Buttercup flying behind him shouting. he woke up an hour later with no recollection of any of this

Buttercup still makes fun of him to this day for the incident. she tells the story in her toast as best woman at the Miblo wedding

Pablo is a giant. he is a good 7 inches taller than Mitch (as stated in my height headcannons post). Mitch makes Pablo carry him around practically everywhere and Pablo ALWAYS hits his head when he walks into Mitch’s trailer. always. every single time. it doesn’t matter that he’s come over hundreds of times, or that he tells himself beforehand each time “Pablo, you will not, under any circumstances, hit your head on the door frame this time. Mitch will not make fun of you because it will not happen.” it still happens. it’s not preventable.

it doesn’t even matter that even people TALLER than Pablo (cough Boomer cough) can enter Mitch’s trailer without hitting their head. Pablo keeps a cool head most of the time, but he has broken and threatened the door many times in the past.

Mitch is a mini space heater and Pablo is the coldest man alive. many-a-cuddling sessions happen in winter (and though Pablo won’t admit it, fall too. and spring.)

Mitch is friends with basically everyone at their school, he’s very extroverted and good at making conversation with people, he tries making friends with at least one new person a day

so, so many people ask Pablo if he’s on the volleyball or basketball team. they are very, very wrong, my boy is the editor of the school paper and he could not be prouder of his position. FANTASTIC writer, and when you have an in with the schools very own superheroes, there’s nothing really stopping you from climbing your way to the top

Mitch was highkey terrified of Butch when Buttercup first introduced him, but now there is literally nothing that Butch could do to make Mitch feel intimidated. if Butch even tried, Mitch would be right on his ass making fun of him for it

gen Buttercup headcannons (tw: mentions of panic attacks):

still has a fear of spiders, but instead of screaming over them and flying away, she gets a very dark look in her eyes and will not hesitate to destroy the house in order to kill the vermin. her sisters and all of her friends have to constantly be aware of any 8 legged bugs around them so they can keep it out of BC’s sights, if only to preserve the land within a 5 mile radius around them

has been begging Prof.Utonium to let her get a lizard for the past 4 years. she had one for a week but her dad found it and immediately set it free

her ears are the most sensitive of the groups, they all have supersonic senses, but BC’s are especially heightened, possibly due to her lack of “special powers” (total fucking bullshit btw, fuck you ppg writers for treating BC like shit)

i think?? i’ve mentioned her ability to see in the future before here?? that’s because of the her senses. no one ask me about the science behind it, just go with it, okay? super eye sight= glimpses into the future

this ability has saved many of her teammates from colossal damage before, but (angst warning), because she’s had to see those images in her mind to be able to warn them about it, it’s left lasting trauma on her and has made her very protective of her friends and family. do not fuck with anyone that BC is close with, she will mess you up for it

one particular prediction she got showed Butch in a very… gruesome situation. i don’t want to go into detail, but it fucked her up for a bit, and there was about a week where Buttercup couldn’t/wouldn’t leave Butch’s side in fear of what could happen to him

she still sometimes gets flashes of that memory and it’s caused a couple panic attacks. when she found out, Blossom taught her some breathing exercises to help her through it if one comes on

THAT GOT SAD IM SO SORRY I FULLY INTENDED FOR THAT HEADCANNON TO JUST BE ABOUT BC HAVING A SPECIAL POWER AND IT DIVERGED INTO THAT

okay one SWEET headcannon for the road. Buttercup really values quality time with her loved ones, and though she doesn’t admit it often, everytime the team + the norms have their little hang out sessions, she sees it as a time for her to chill, and it’s those times that she feels her happiest and like she can genuinely be herself without judgement from classmates or the press

thank you for the ask!! i got a random burst of inspiration that i haven’t felt in a bit when this was sent in, i appreciate you for that :))

#ask #ppg #the powerpuff girls #the rowdyruff boys #rrb #brick ppg #butch ppg #bubbles ppg #blossom ppg #buttercup ppg #boomer ppg #sbj more than human #butchercup #blossick #boomubbles #rowdyruff boys #ppg x rrb #as time goes by ppg #powerpuff girls #powerpuffgirls #sbj mth #greens ppg #incorrect powerpuff girls quotes #reds ppg #blues ppg #ppg buttercup #ppg butch #ppg boomer #ppg bubbles #ppg brick

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Oh?

You want headcanons eh?

We'll... I must oblige.

Mono gives six head Pat's every time they reunite after separating.

six stims by lightly sucking on her thumb.

Mono will Literally pick six up and over the shoulder as he runs in a random direction away from danger if he thinks she won't run as fast as him

and finally, six straight up sticks her fingers in the holes in mono's mask to annoy him so they can have a good laugh together.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

I was actually asking for headcanon requests, but it’s nice for someone to give me headcanons for a change! I love seeing other people’s point of view, especially on fictional material.

Here are some headcanons of my own:

General Mono and Six

Headcanons

Six has an irrational fear of masks...or maybe it isn’t so irrational. If Halloween were celebrated in her world, she would hate it with a passion.

There was a short time between arriving in the city and meeting the first monster where both Six and Mono had to camp out because they both caught horrible colds from the rain - Mono more severely, since they weren’t used to such conditions. Six didn’t take care of them, per se, but she did show some concern and managed to find some frozen biscuits to make over the fire so Mono wouldn’t become too weak.

They both only communicate with “Hey!” and “Oi!” because they were never taught to speak, and only remembered this particular words from their parents.

Mono has his own lullaby as well, which he sometimes hums when he’s thinking about something. It’s somewhere between “Scarborough Fair” and “Greensleeves.” A predictable tune, but slow and sad.

Six is the more literate of the two, and can count up to fifty. She can also read most of the signs and markers, making her the leader.

Mono, however, is the better singer. Six’s voice is clear, but a bit husky from her rough life. He has perfect pitch and rhythm - most of the English he’s learning is through song.

Mono hates television for obvious reasons. However, there’s a particular cartoon that he likes, and he flaps his hand excitedly whenever he hears the theme song. But he can never make it past the final note. Too many bad memories.

Mono had to go through several kinds of head coverings before settling on a paper bag. He tried a plastic bag first, but almost killed himself. Burlap was too rough. Wood was too heavy. Leaves tore too easily. The paper bag simply came out of nowhere...and hasn’t let him down since.

Both of them tell have grunted, half signed, half drawn stories of what they think the “outside world” is like. A world without zombies and leeches and tall, murderous men. Mono swears that there are places just FILLED with good food ALL the time, and Six tells of adults that are actually kind to children so they don’t have to wander.

Despite running nearly all the time, Six has a small exercise routine she does each morning. Mono thinks it’s cute, but he would never tell her that.

Six was actually hesitant to see Mono without his bag - she thought maybe he was a monster that needed to keep his horrible face hidden. Upon discovering that Mono was only a normal boy, she took to lifting up the bag to make sure that he was alright or to see if he was crying. Through drawings, she compares it to lifting the hood of a car.

Six and Mono have only physically fought once, right after the Hunter was killed and they were on the beach near the school. Mono was freaking out because he had just KILLED somebody, and Six was trying to calm him down in case they met something - or someone - else. Her ways of quieting him came to blows, and they were soon rolling around on the ground. Mono chose to be the bigger man and stopped the fight, but not before sustaining a few bruises.

Six has frequent panic attacks, especially when they arrive somewhere new. Mono usually just waits for her to calm down - she won’t let him touch her.

Both Mono and Six have nightmares, but Six is better at dealing with them than Mono. She sometimes has to stay awake with him so he can get at least a little sleep.

They only slept closer together once the rain started, usually wrapping their arms around each other to conserve warmth. If the background wasn’t a dystopian hellscape, their closeness might be considered adorable.

#mono little nightmares #little nightmares mono #little nightmares 2 #little nightmares #six little nightmares #little nightmare six #headcanon requests #headcanons #humor #funny post #just for laughs #funny content #funny #send asks #ask blog #send requests

[clearlyshyobservation]

Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i- 

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,, 

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet 

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much. 

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :( 

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest. 

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy 

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while  avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective 

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him 

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE 

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D 

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT 

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin:  BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years! 

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you 

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in  that tet, 

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE 

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10 

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty. 

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN! 

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

#kokichiouma #oumota #Ougoku #chat fic #kaito momota #kiibo #miu iruma #gonta gokuhara #ryoma #angie #shuichi saihara #vr au #kirumi #maki harukawa #korekiyo #danganronpav3 #danganronpa #grossness

[that-mom-friend-talks]

Everyone's been talking, and I'm gonna add to the din!! A list of things, in no particular order, that I noticed/loved in the latest vid

ALL THE GODDAMN ANGST everyone was bitter and selfdepricating and shit was/is a mess. Kudos to the creators bc it portrays how bad Thomas's mental state has gotten and I'm living for it

No Virgil!! Baby boi was probably having a panic attack off screen, the type where our don't feel sad or anxious but just straight up empty. He was just void this vid, and personally I think Logan didn't show up bc he was staying with him for comfort, bc we know how logic soothes anxiety

FUCKIN JANUS!!! THIS BITCH!! He's everything i thought he would be and more. He's the wine aunt and the cat mom all in one, and I stan this judgemental sophisticated gay. His mannerisms!! We're so subtle but distinguished!! Shoulder shimmies, moving his body with his head first, the hand gestures, the fUCKING GLOVE THING!!! Bitch has gloves on so he isn't compelled to tell only the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth the fuckin GENIUS OF THOMAS AND JOAN AND CO.

Speaking of, character Thomas!! He reached his point!! Boi is fed up with his mind's bullshit and wants some goddamn answers. Most aren't what he wants to hear, and that has an impact on him!!! Which is so beautiful!!

I'm just living for the design of this bc they must've had this planned for so goddamn long to bring all the little things out into this big climax and breakdown and bitch we ain't even dealt with the why's yet!!!

Speaking of, let's get specific in this angst bc boi is there a LOT to unpack!!!

First and foremost, Patton!! Focus of the vid and progressively breaking down throughout but desperate to hide it. Morality is supposed to have answers, but as I touched on earlier, they aren't always the ones we want or like to hear, and none of them are simple when you get older. He was stressed bc he didn't know and he wasn't allowed to not know (and I thought that brand of angst was reserved for Logan but I'm wrong and I'm happy I am). He freaked out and said the truth, in all of its painful repressed liberating glory!!! I noticed his major deflecting throughout the vid and called him out on it so much my bro wanted to know who I was talking to.

Roman!!! Not my fav of the sides but still deserving of the love he gets!! Boi had a breakdown bc he was stuck in dichotomy, black and white, good and evil, and when that shit (Janus) proved to be a grey area he couldn't deal. Gets called evil by Janus and closes in on himself so damn fast I was worried he'd catch his fingers in the door. Self worth is shit, but boi is trying to stick to his brand so hard he breaks. I was gonna say snap but it was much more self-directed then Patton's breakdown (the fucking DETAIL IN THIS PRODUCTION IM-) He is really angry at himself and deflects real well with that sword of his. Made a mistake and is harrowed by it (another thing I thought was Logan brand but hey!! You get angst, you get angst, everyone gets some angst!!) And when he's like "I thought I was your hero!" And Janus nods my take is that Janus was confirming that he was but Roman doesn't trust his honeyed words at ALL so he thinks it's a lie and is hurt. God, this is phenomenal.

MY BOY LOGAN!!! Baby really went "you guys don't listen to me when I'm there so I won't show up. I have to be present, because I care, but maybe I at least can inform the audience since you guys won't listen." And when I say I cRIED- He was trying so hard he literally smacked Patton (whether to snap him out of it, end the train of thought to help I'm see reason, or just out of spite any reason is valid). He was trying so fucking hard with the little room he was forced to work with, and they kept cutting him down (literally) and choosing to ignore him and insulting him and I 100% think the reason he didn't breakdown was because he knew he had to be the lighthouse in the face of a hurricane and guide the others to safety and home.

Also! Logan got pulled out by a cane. Like the cane Janus used to pull Thomas aside. Janus pulled Logan out before he broke down and lashed out bc Janus is self-preservation and he needed him to take care of Virgil, don't worry, I'll deal with them.

Janus and Logan work together and you can fIGHT ME ON THIS THEY ARE THE PARENTS OF THE WHOLE GROUP TELL ME OTHERWISE!!!!

Logan is the dad Janus is the tired mom and both of them bitch about how much they love their family and how tiring it is to keep doing this over and over and over-

In summary, the things I'm taking from this video is

Character!Thomas is having the biggest breakdown and crisis of his life, and all of the sides are breaking down individually (besides Remus and barely Janus)

Logan and Janus work together to keep this shit show afloat and both are fed up with it all.

Everyone needs to work out their shit

The quality of production and the effort that Thomas and Joan and co. put into these videos make them entirely worth the wait, and I am in love with them bc of it.

Janus is THAT BITCH, and I now stan him almost as much as Logan (but not equally)

And fuck, real Thomas, are you doing alright???

#logan sanders angst #sanders sides logan #sanders sides #ts roman #ts virgil #ts logan #ts patton #ts janus #ts spoilers #roman sanders #roman sanders angst #patton sanders angst

[eloarei]

A little rambling: on grief; and grieving a dog, a cat, an unborn child, and pieces of me that got hurt along the way. 

2300 words under the cut. 

It’s a very gloomy day today. I don’t usually mind; I like rain. But on a bad day, or a bad week, it only seems to insulate me in my own dark thoughts. That’s what today seems to be. I’ll work on fixing it later-- getting some exercise, sunlight if the clouds clear, making some tea. Should’ve done that already, but I forgot. Ate half a banana, at least. 

As I’ve complained about a few times lately, I’ve just not been doing especially well. When and why did it all start? It’s hard to say, but this ‘unwellness’ spell seems most potent starting April 11th (my anniversary, unfortunately, which is why I can remember it), when I came down with a gruesome stomach bug. Really haven’t been feeling right since. I’m really bad about being sick; it scares me and I handle it badly. I assume that’s part of what has messed me up. 

But grief is the other part, I think. Grief, and my being scared and worried that what caused it could strike again at any minute. Look, I’m... 32 now, and I’m sure that most people by this age have experienced profound loss. I’m probably not unusual, and I’m certainly not alone, but I think all the loss I’ve experienced is just piling up on me now, like there wasn’t enough time to process the new fresh ones before newer fresher ones came on, and so now even the old tough scars are aching. 

When I was a teenager, my parents died. They were old, and it was health problems. It was not a surprise, but that didn’t make it easier to deal with in freshman year of high school. (What made it easier to deal with? Rabidly cleaning out the fridge and watching Lord of the Rings tapes the neighbors lent me. That’s all I did for three days after my mom died.) It’s been a long time-- more than half my life ago-- and I do feel like I’m ‘over it’, but sometimes it just wells up, tears from nowhere. Maybe that’s just how grief is. 

A certainly had a good decade of my 20′s. I got married at 19, and had a pretty uneventful set of years. That felt normal to me. I do think, though, that the loss of my parents haunted me in that time, quietly. It influenced everything I did; it probably still does, if only because it changed the person I have become. But other than that, things were good, I think.  My dog Roxy died two years ago, when I was 30, not long after I got back from seeing my siblings for the first time in ages. She was violently ill, and died right in front of us as we were getting ready to take her to the vet. I think I’ve written about it. In fact, the next day I wrote a depressing fanfic piece, certainly as a coping mechanism. (It made people cry, so, mission accomplished, I guess.) I think that helped a lot. A few months later, my in-laws’ dog died too, while mom-in-law was on vacation, and that was rough as well. I wrote another sad fanfic about death. I really like both of these pieces, because they mean something, and they’re very raw. Furthermore, I’ll always have them, as tokens for Roxy, Ginger, and the little pieces of me they crushed when they died. I don’t know if the exchange is worth it, but it’s what I have. 

My grief over Roxy was gentle, as time went on. It didn’t bother me. I think I’d processed it well. I’d written out my feelings. I held her body in numb arms as my husband dug her grave. It was okay. 

In early 2020, basically on my 31st birthday (and right as Covid was happening), I found I was pregnant. Long story short, those were the densest two months of my life, where everything seemed to change so quickly. My thoughts and feelings could fill so very many pages; this is not the place I’ll leave them. The point of this particular story is that it didn’t work out. The baby ‘died’ not terribly unlike Roxy had-- violently ill, in front of me, with far too much blood. I passed out three times-- the real start of this current fearful nature, because I cannot overstate how very much I felt like I was going to die. I went to the ER; it was miserable, an ordeal I could say quite a lot about. I won’t, though. I have before, and I likely will again, elsewhere. 

This... This grief... I think I still don’t know what to do with it. I don’t think I ever will. Months later, I started writing a fic to deal with my feelings, though it took 90k words and many months before I got to the part where I could really delve into my trauma. And it has helped, I’m sure. I’m really sure. And I care about this fic so much, because like the others it is raw and real and it’s something I’d never have if not for my experience. Again, it may not be a fair trade, but it’s what I have. 

I don’t grieve for the baby. It didn’t make it far enough to even have a heartbeat. It doesn’t have a name, a gender. It doesn’t have a grave. We let the hospital take care of it. But I still grieve. I’m sad. Wrecked. I grieve what it could have been. I grieve the hope that was spent and lost on it, a precious resource that will take a long time to grow back, if ever. I grieve over not only my own disappointment, but my husband’s, and my in-laws. They’ve never pressured us to have kids, but they’re in their 60′s now, with no grandchildren. I think they feel... lacking, in a way. I understand. I feel the same (though different). I wanted to give them that. I wanted to have that. 

I still....?

I can’t say. I don’t know what I want. The event complicated my already complex emotions. I’m still waiting for them to simplify. Maybe they will, or maybe they won’t. 

I was alright for a while. Stressed enough because of Covid and family’s declining health. Then in early April 2021, just a year after the miscarriage, I got badly sick. Gross, but not what most people would call a real issue. But only a year after the miscarriage, when my body betrayed me and I was at its horrid mercy, this felt like too much. Again I felt like I was going to die. A week of near delirious fever and nausea; I’d have handled it badly enough in any other circumstance. 

As expected, I got through it. A horrible week, but just a week (or so). And then my dog Tobi died, just days later. 

This is it. This is the one I... I’m speechless about. The one I... maybe haven’t processed enough. I was just back from the edge of being badly, violently ill. I didn’t have the energy to write, physically or emotionally. And that just made it worse. I love writing. It’s my outlet (surprising, I’m sure). I wanted to write. I thought I ought to write. I needed to write. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t muster the words. I still... can’t. 

Tobi was... my baby. Not literally, of course. I didn’t conflate him with my lost child or anything. Tobi was 14. I’d had him since I graduated high school and got an apartment. Adopting him was one of the first things my husband and I did as an established adult couple, before we were even married. He was there, at my wedding. The photographer took a cute picture of me holding him before the ceremony. He was 11 months old at the time. Still had all his brown spots before they turned tan, then later white. He was there; he was always there. He was my entire adult life. And now I’ve lost him, the pup I had longer than my marriage (though soon we will outlast him). He was the big brother to all my other pets. He practically raised all the cats, and they adored him. (Tobi was a chihuahua, so they might have thought he was just another cat.) 

He was a sweet boy, who loved his mom and dad first and foremost. When he was little, he was scared of everyone else. Eventually he warmed up to strangers and friends, and in his old age he mostly liked to nap somewhere on his own. He was silly and playful; he always chased the cats when they wanted to be chased. It was a game they all loved. 

The vet... well, we took him in when he started to cough badly. He’d had a cough for a few months, but it wasn’t constant and didn’t seem to be affecting his quality of life much. But that day it was bad, so we took him. (We can’t afford frequent vet visits, so this was clearly desperate.) The vet took him and put him on oxygen. We had to stay in the car because they weren’t open for human guests. Then she came and told us a scan had revealed cancer, marbled through his lungs. He was suffocating. In fact, he wouldn’t likely even make it home, not even the two mile drive. We had to put him down. My husband and I cried like babies. We’d never put an animal down before. Generally speaking, we don’t really ‘believe in it’, if that makes sense. But faced with this situation, we had no choice. 

I didn’t see him again. I think that’s the worst part, though it would have been equally bad to see him, I think. And it was all so sudden. He was playing and chasing the cats the day before. Begging for treats of human food. Barking at the Roomba. And then I had to pay hundreds of dollars to say goodbye to him. It felt so unfair. I cried all day. My husband and I, we just went home and laid down and wept. 

But I still haven’t written about it, not in the way that I wrote about the others. For all that I wrote here, it doesn’t begin to encompass my deeper feelings on what it means that he is gone, and how I felt to have to make that decision. I have ideas. I think I know what I would write, if I could, but writing... still mostly eludes me. I may try. I probably should. 

I take a deep breath. I know I should sum this up and take care of myself, but there’s yet a little more to say. 

I think Tobi’s death is a large part of what affects me still, but several weeks ago I had what I could only call a panic attack. In the middle of the night I awoke, my heart beating rapidly, a horrible feeling of dread like certainty that all I could possibly do was die. It took over two days for me to feel mostly normal again, and then I still felt vaguely nauseous for two weeks. Then, just a few days ago, it happened again, but this time before bed. I could feel it rising in me, this indescribable sickness. It took several days ago before I felt normal. And this is where I am now. 

Sadly, a little while after the first panic attack, my husband and I failed to save a malnourished feral kitten. It was not a surprise, but yet one more reminder of the fragility of life, and how little I can do to keep death away from those I care about. This poor thing, it was so desperate to live, but nothing we could do could save it. I could have poured all my time into trying, could have scrounged up money to take it to the vet (when I should take my own cats, who all have colds), but I know better. I know... so much of the time, there’s nothing you can do. And now I’m trying to help what might be its siblings, a few cute feral kittens nearby. My favorite seems... a little lethargic, and not very interested in eating the wet food and meat scraps I sometimes bring by. I don’t think there’s anything I can do, if it ends up being sick, if it ends up being malnourished. I can’t bring it inside when it could infect my own cats. I have to care for them first. 

But knowing that it could die... it bothers me. 

And knowing that I could die. I could die. I’m too aware of that, on top of everything else. I hate doctors, so I never go. (Also I’m poor.) This toothache? Could be a terrible abscess. My brother went to the ER for sepsis from an abscess tooth recently! That’s probably what caused the panic, to be honest. But then... why have I felt so week? Is there a problem with my blood? Am I sicker than I know? Do I have breast cancer? My grandma did, and I know I should get it checked out, but it’s just ONE MORE THING. It’s always like that. 

And that’s... how I feel right now. Covered in ‘one more thing’s on rainy days and night-work schedules. Trying to take care of myself but not always knowing what that means. Lacking the inspiration to do the things I know I enjoy, because worry and apathy holds me back from everything. 

I’m okay. Really. No day of mine is ever entirely without merit, and I have plans to do most of the things that should keep me healthy. But the day is short when my needs and long, and the day is long when I’m paralyzed by apathy. 

So. I’ll just take it a moment at a time. And when I can, I’ll try to keep writing. 

#elo talks #long post #personal but ok to interact

[raebellian]

Why I love Katara from ATLA

Katara is underrated and doesn’t deserve all the hate people give her. Like everyone else in the Gaang, she was an invaluable member that they couldn’t have survived without. Hear me out—this is going to be a long one.

First, her role as team mom: We all know that the Gaang saw Katara as a motherly figure—even Sokka, her older brother. Remember The Desert? Aang was having a mental breakdown over Appa, Sokka was high on cactus juice, Toph couldn’t see, and Katara literally held them together. Sure, sometimes Katara lost her temper or acted bossy, but come on! Whose mom doesn’t? In fact, Toph and Sokka agreed in The Runaway that even though Katara got on their nerves sometimes, it was that exact trait of bossiness that the Gaang relied on so much. And I think a lot of those scenes where Katara fussed over things were super cute; it literally made the Gaang seem like a little family.

Second: I know people hate on Katara for talking about her mom so much. But admit it, we were all annoying at one point in our teenage years. And imagine if something happened to your mom or a similar parental figure. If you were a young child when it happened? If you spent years and years thinking it was your fault? If your father was always away and you had to step up as your own mother’s replacement, forced to shove that darkness deep down, hoping for the day when you could get some closure?

When Aang realized he lost his people and broke down in The Southern Air Temple, Katara was there for him. She said it was okay to be sad, that she understood, that she was going to help him. She didn’t have to do that. She barely knew him at the time. But grief is grief, no matter its size and form and how it’s dealt with, and she found a way to get through to him. Same with Haru and Jet. Katara reached out to them by exchanging stories with them, and listened to theirs with compassion as well. 

Of course, everyone expresses/copes with grief in different ways, but Katara’s grief wasn’t any lesser than her friends, nor were her coping mechanisms any less valid.

Let’s talk about Sokka. He admitted he saw Katara as a mother, and that he couldn’t even recall Kya’s face. He also seemed to be much closer with Hakoda throughout the show. Might I also remind you of Sokka’s general goofiness and rather out-of-the-blue sexist attitude at the beginning. I really doubt the sexism was due to Southern Water Tribe Culture—or why would Kanna go there to escape the sexism of the north? Sokka likely developed that mindset as a coverup for his grief, whereas Katara had to bottle up her feelings and step up as the motherly figure as a young child. Sokka’s coping mechanism was to goof around and pretend nothing got to him, and Aang avoided his duties and hardships until he eventually learned to confront them. 

Yes, Katara said some awful things to both Sokka and Aang in The Southern Raiders, but she was a teenage girl mourning the loss of the person she loved most in the world, and whom she seemed to develop her whole personality and identity around. Sometimes you lash out, lose control, and accidentally hurt your loved ones—especially if you’re just a child forced to grow up too fast in a war torn world.

In any case, there’s no doubt that Katara regretted what she said to Sokka right after she said it (look at her expression in that scene), and it’s almost certain that she went and made up with him afterwards. It wasn’t the first time one of the siblings accidentally hurt the other, and it certainly wasn’t the last time either. But there’s no doubt that the siblings loved each other unconditionally, which gave them the ability to make up no matter what, every single time without fail.

Third: I know a lot of people criticize Katara for her initial mistrust of Zuko. True, Katara tends to hold grudges. But from her pov, Zuko did break her trust (which she gave out quite readily, especially for someone from the water tribe) and none of Team Avatar actually witnessed Zuko’s epic redemption arc firsthand. Katara also felt extremely guilty and scared for almost wasting the spirit water on Zuko’s scar, which would’ve ended Aang for good.

The others in the Gaang had more inclination to trust Zuko due to Iroh defending him when he came to them for help in Ba Sing Se, while Katara was stuck in a creepy underground cave probably having a panic attack and fully expecting to be killed at any given moment. I’d probably lash out too if someone locked me up and suddenly yeeted in a guy who tried to kill me and my friends on multiple previous occasions, even if his hair did have a major glow up. 

Speaking of Zuko and his glow up... oMg hE’s sO hOt! Cute fictional boy with dark hair, we all stan!!! Draco in leather pants, anyone? While I love Zuko as much as any ATLA fan, he did his fair share of bad things. The entire first season? His betrayal of Iroh? Sure, Katara had her moments, but did you guys really forget how Zuko treated Iroh? How he constant belittled him on the ship in S1 and in the prison in S3, while still demanding Iroh’s advice? Of course, Zuko got better and gained redemption and forgiveness—he absolutely deserved it in the end—but doesn’t Katara deserve similar sympathy after making far lesser mistakes than Zuko? Is it because she’s not an attractive bad boy? Imagine Katara as a hot dude with a brooding, chiseled face, and I guarantee you the same people who hate her so vehemently will automatically stan her. It’s almost as if there’s a double standard for female characters or something...

In conclusion: Katara cares so, so much with all her heart about everything and everyone, loving and hating with equal passion, and I think that’s beautiful. She is the epitome of gentle yet unyielding femininity (as opposed to Toph’s brashness or Azula’s coolness), and we need more female characters like her who are unabashedly feminine and proud of it. In today’s society, girls are often shamed for being girly, hence the “mean popular girl” trope and the “not like other girls” trend. That’s why we see so many tomboys in fiction, girls who are strong and tough and one of the guys. That’s why we see so many ice queens in fiction, who are equal parts beautiful and deadly in everything they do. Of course, these types of girls are just as valid (and why Toph, Azula, and so many other ATLA girls are so popular and iconic), but women irl are so incredible because of their diversity—not only in appearance but in personality. 

That’s what makes ATLA so good: each character has their strengths and weaknesses and undergoes an incredible character arc. Each member of the Gaang is unique and essential and they all balance each other out personality-wise. Without Katara, ATLA would not be the masterpiece it is, would not be so acclaimed for its incredibly written characters. Without Katara, western animation would be lacking of an incredibly written character, a POC girly girl who is soft and gentle and nurturing and can kick ass in a dress and fancy hair. Without Katara, little girls who grew up watching ATLA would grow up with perhaps many good female role models, but they would miss out on one in particular who would teach them it’s okay to care too much, it’s okay to cry and be angry and hate, it’s okay because in the end things will always get better and so will you. That it’s going to be okay, and there’s always hope and light in the world no matter what life throws at you. That’s what Katara means to me, and that’s why I love her so much.

~Raebelle

#atla #avatar the last airbender #katara #feminism #gaang #team avatar #katara is a badass #katara is amazing #femininity #sexism #misogyny #why all the hate #seriously you guys wtf #girl didn't come all the way from the south pole #bring aang out of a murderous rampage twice #literally fight the patriarchy #master waterbending in like a few months #deliver a literal human baby on a cliffside #literally bring aang back to life and singlehandedly save the avatar cycle #take mercy on her mother's killer #train and heal the next avatar as well #to be treated like this smh #stop sleeping on sugar queen already #thank you for listening to my ted talk

[obsessedbutonline]

obsessedbutonline Masterlist

Started: 24/12/2020

Last updated: 24/12/2020

Total works: 9

Teen Wolf

Title: Amateurs

Rating: General Audiences

Chapters: 1/?

Word count: 4369

Tags: Spark Stiles Stilinski, Magic, Stiles Stilinski Returns, Emissary Stiles Stilinski,Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Bromance, Alpha Derek Hale, Good Derek Hale, Good Peter Hale,Good Friend Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Teacher Stiles Stilinski, Roadtrip, Training

Summary:  When Stiles is offered a position at a far-away pack to train a young spark, he didn't expect to bring along a certain Peter Hale. Becoming a powerful, nation-wide known emissary comes with certain perks, and also responsibilities- how does Stiles cope?- Written for the Steter Secret Santa

Other comments: This one is a favourite of mine and one I’m super inspired for! It was for the steter secret santa 2020, and I was late for that sadly, but my giftee, archercrow, was AMAZING about it and I got it to them on the 29th (: 

~

Title: Temporary Love

Rating: General Audiences

Chapters: 3/?

Word count: 3087

Tags: College Student Stiles Stilinski, College, Human, Alternate Universe - Human, Family, Family Fluff, Derek Hale is a Softie, Deputy Derek Hale, Misunderstandings, Stiles Stilinski's Jeep's Name is Roscoe, Stiles Stilinski Returns

Summary:  From the prompt: Stiles’ Babcia (grandmother) is fiercely independent and lives in an apartment in Beacon Hills and Stiles used to go over on the weekends and run errands for her. But then Stiles goes to college and can’t make it home as much as he likes, and when he does go home he goes straight to Babcia’s apartment ready to do her bidding and she’s like, “Oh, no, Słoneczko, that nice boy Derek down the hall already got my groceries and fixed my sink…” And Stiles gets really jealous of this Derek guy, but Derek works weekends (Deputy!Derek FTW) so they never actually meet. Stiles nurses this simmering rage that some interloper is bogarting his grandmother. In the meantime Derek is just soaking up the family feels and becoming more and more enamoured of the elusive Mieczysław that babcia keeps showing him pictures of and telling him stories about, “the most handsome, brilliant, caring young boy you could ever meet…” -dr.girlfriend on tumblr

Other comments: Named after the amazing song of the same name by Ben Platt, this fic is inspired by a prompt! It has yet to be finished, but I’m working on it, promise! It��s just slow going.

~

Title: A Change Of Pace

Rating: General Audiences

Chapters: 1/1

Word count: 1070

Tags: Empath Stiles Stilinski, stetersecretsanta2019, Fluff

Summary: Stiles has always struggled to contain the effects of being an empath- Peter, like he always seems to do, worms his way through the cracks. My entry for the Steter Secret Santa 2k19, enjoy!

Other comments: Once again, another secret santa entry! For this one, I dabbled into making Stiles an empath, I’m pretty sure that was one of the requests of my secret santa-ee, so that’s what I did! If inspiration strikes, I feel like I could definitely expand on this story, but it works as a short story just as well.

~

Title: On Christmas Eve

Rating: General Audiences

Chapters: 1/1

Word count: 5285

Tags: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Post-Nogitsune, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Sad Stiles Stilinski, Pain, Dreams and Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Depression, Isolation, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles, Stilinski Christmas, Christmas Eve, Illnesses, Mental Health Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, Possession, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Bromance, Emotionally Constipated Derek Hale, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Pack Feels

Summary:  Looking up at the ceiling in exasperation, Stiles shook his head in disbelief. "Great, so now we're taking in strays. Awesome, just how I wanted to spend my Christmas Eve." ... "Yeah," Stiles agreed, breathlessly, "-friends." ... How Stiles' copes with the possession of the Nogitsune over the next five Christmas Eve's. This is my entry for the 2019 Sterek Secret Santa (:

Other comments: This is one of my absolute FAVOURITE fics I’ve written, and it kind of follows the 5+1 trope, but I don’t think there are six different parts. Anyway, this was obviously written for the 2k19 Sterek Secret Santa, and I just want to once again mention how worth it is to join a writing secret santa!! The Sterek one in particular is VERY well set up, so it’s an amazing one to start with!

~

Title: Missing Parts (In My Brain)

Rating: General Audiences

Chapters: 1/1

Word count: 1410

Tags: Fluff, Pining, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, 12 Days of Sterek, Christmas, Christmas Party, Christmas Fluff

Summary:  Pining has always been something Stiles has been spectacularly good at. But really? This is going too far. Christmas parties aren't Christmas parties unless at least one couple lays the PDA on heavy, and it all gets Stiles thinking. Written for 12 Days Of Sterek 2019 (:

Other comments: As I wrote in the summary, this was written for the 12 days of Sterek! I don’t think there was a prompt or anything, but this fic has a heavy theme of asexuality, which I wrote for the purpose of putting more diversity into my fics.

~

Title: The Peculiarities of Demetrius Blotting and Papers

Rating: Teen and up audiences

Chapters: 1/1

Word count: 1414

Tags: Magical Stiles Stilinski, Magic, Faery Court, Fae & Fairies, Nymphs & Dryads, Mythology - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Library, Library, Witches, Nature, Magic, Bookshop

Summary: Working in the most magically profound bookshop is a walk in the park. Until it isn't. When a stranger comes looking for a registry of one of the most well-known wolf packs in America, Stiles finds himself intrigued. And unfairly invested in making the guy smile. And if it takes a bit of sneaking to do that, then that's nobodies business but his own, right?

Other comments: I actually do not remember where this fic was going! But it never got further than the first chapter unfortunately (I hope I can update this, someday). It’s about the fae!

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Title: Visiting the Hales

Rating: General audiences

Chapters: 1/1

Word count: 1513

Tags: Fluff and Angst, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Death, Grief/Mourning, Stiles Stilinski Helps Derek Hale, Love, Birthday, The Hale Family, Tattooed Stiles Stilinski, One Shot

Summary: It's taken years for them to reach this stage.Stiles hurts when Derek hurts, but he will gladly shoulder the pain if it lessens Derek's even in the slightest.It's time to visit the Hales.

Other comments: This is literally just a super short angst-fest, I think I was listening to a sad song when I got struck with inspiration, and this is the result! Enjoy if you want some sad! Sterek.

~

Title: Us Struggling Youth

Rating: Teen and up audiences

Chapters: 23/?

Word count: 27555

Tags: Mental Health Issues, Fluff, Angst, Fluff and Angst, sterek, Self-Harm, Depression, OCD, Anxiety, Therapy, Boarding School, Alternate Universe - Human, Slow Burn, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Slow Build, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John, Awesome Sheriff Stilinski, Sad, Light Angst, Triggers, Emotional, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Baggage, Emotional, teenwolf, Isaac Lahey & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Hurt Stiles, Bromance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends With Benefits, Kissing, LGBTQ Themes, Mental Breakdown, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Teen Derek Hale, Teen Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Teenage Rebellion, Camping, Nostalgia, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Bipolar Disorder, Worry, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings

Summary: Stiles never wanted to go to a school for crazy people, but with his history with self-harm and worsening anxiety, his dad thought it was the place he needed to be. But when the management is at threat, the pupils decide that they deserve some time away, and the camp of the ages was born. What happens when a group of not so well teens decide they want to rebel for one final hurrah?Because when sparks fly in a pit of flames, it can be hard to see past the manic of The Rosedale Academy For Struggling Youth.

Other comments: This is my second longest fic after Only He Saw, and is currently unfinished. Will I finish it? Unknown, but likely not. I got really into the AU Boarding School trope, and this was the result, but then I ran out of inspiration, which is sad because I had a whole storyline planned out. If it ever comes back, I’ll be sure to continue writing it!

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Title: The Cookie Incident

Rating: General Audiences

Chapters: 1/1

Word count: 2225

Tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Children, Alternate Universe, Steter Secret Santa

Summary:  Stiles goes on a baking spree, with the help of a certain six-year-old, much to the dismay of Peter.

Other comments: This was written for the 2018 Steter Secret Santa, and was written based on the likes of my secret santa-ee. I’d 10000% recommend doing a writing Secret Santa if you want to get into writing fics! You’re surrounded by other people doing the same thing as you, you have a deadline, and you get a present in return! I love doing them, and I’ve been doing both the Sterek and Steter secret santas for three years now. It’s a fluff-fest, that’s all!

~

Title: Only He Saw

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Chapters: 31/31

Word count: 45,781

Tags: Angst, Eventual fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Heartbreak, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self Harm, Razor - Freeform, Razors, Anxiety, Darkness, Stiles Has Panic Attacks, Panic Attacks, Erica, Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski Has Scars, Scars, Sad, Crying, Stiles is Pushed Out of the Pack, Hurt Stiles, Cars, Rich Peter, Caring Peter, Peter hale - Freeform, Feels, mansion, Rebuilt Hale House, mean derek hale, steter feels, elastic band technique, self harm alternatives, Self Confidence Issues, Grief/Mourning, Grieving Peter, Blood, trigger warning, Heavy Angst, Neglected Stiles Stilinski, Busy Sherriff, Nurturing Peter Hale, Good Peter Hale, Sheriff Stilinski is a Bad Parent, Torture, Tortured Stiles Stilinski, Peter forgives Stiles, Depressed Stiles, Angst with a Happy Ending, Small pack, Car rides, Revenge, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Non-Evil Peter Hale, halepackareevil, evilhalepack, badderek, goodpeter, Emotions, POV Stiles, Asexual Character, Asexual Stiles Stilinski, Werau.

Summary:  When the pack stopped telling him about meetings, Stiles laughed. It wasn't surprising that they forgot to update his number when their phones kept getting destroyed by the monster of the week...right? They just forgot. That happened. All the time! Too often. When the pack stopped giving excuses for forgetting, a deserving prickle of fear and trepidation etched its way into his heart, making his usually cocky and brave smile falter and leave. Only when they weren't watching. When they went out of their way to stop him going to meetings, he stopped smiling altogether. Only where they couldn't see. But it's fine, right? He was part of a family that loved him and just wanted to keep him safe...right? But when Derek used the door instead of the window to get into Stile's house, as small and insignificant a fact that may be, he accepted that something was wrong.

Other comments: This was the first fic I ever wrote, and you can tell! I wrote this story over a long time, but for the majority of it, I’d upload 1000 word chapters every day, which really helped my writing develop. I was in a super dark place when I wrote this, and I think you can tell, but I keep it up because it shows how far my writing’s come. I’m proud of how far I’ve come since OHS!

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Title: ____

Rating: ___

Chapters: ___

Word count: ____

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[mxsinistir]

Reasons I loved Spiderman: Far From Home (spoilers!!)

 Super Strength - With Tom Holland playing Spiderman as a cute high school kid who’s kind of confused, it’s easy to forget just how powerful Spiderman is as a hero. But that tower scene? LEGENDARY. I nearly screamed in the movie theatre whenever they showed that? Not to mention the lock, the seatbelt, etc. Just casual strength that made his identity harder to hide. I’m glad they didn’t just show his strength when it was convenient to the action plot. 

Betrayal written right - think about all the Marvel movies, and try and think of one that had a really good betrayal aspect. Iron Man 1 tried, but I don’t even remember the guy’s name. Loki was kind of constantly betraying Thor so there were no surprises. Bucky had betrayed Steve against his will. But Mysterio outright got Peter - a naive and loveable kid - to trust him enough to declare him the next Iron Man. And it felt like a real betrayal to everyone when we (and Peter) found out.

Hero at fault - continuing on from the last point, I loved the fact that the conflict happened because of Peter’s actions. I loved that so much. Because he had to own up to his own faults (aka his naivety and trusting towards everyone), and honestly I can’t even explain how much he obviously grew as a character in one movie.

Rock Bottom - oh god, seeing Peter tortured like that. Whenever he sees Happy and just breaks down on the plane. I nearly cried right there, not gonna lie. He just looked so tired and hurt and sad and confused and-- he looked like he was in too much pain for any kid to be going through. 

MJ x Peter Kiss! - I love the fact that MJ’s first kiss wasn’t a sudden french kiss or long head tilt. It was a literal peck. I loved that because you know what? They’re teenagers, and of course, Peter would have a cringey plan to win his girl. Of course, they don’t suddenly know how to kiss and make out. I love it because it all felt so real and funny and light. It was a defining part of Peter’s character without dominating his own storyline. They just executing their romance so well.

Gentle Love Triangle! - I was mad because I thought they were going to shove this plotline down our throats. But they didn’t! They ended up keeping the focus on Peter and MJ and their chemistry, not MJ and Brad’s opposing chemistry. I really liked that a lot . It seemed a lot more natural. 

Fear of Confusion / Illusion Scene - That scene where Peter is overwhelmed by the illusions is so goddamn scary. I openly admit that I am scared of confusion, and watching that scene nearly gave me a panic attack on the spot. I was watching it an XD Theater, and the surround sound nearly had me shaking and sobbing on the floor. It as so scary and overwhelming and made you feel so bad for the kid that’s trapped in it. it was written beautifully.

Spider-Sense / Peter Tingle - I love that they didn’t make it so much of a power, but rather a “Sixth sense”. And Peter had to actually focus to use it. And he used it so cleverly in the second illusion scene!!! I was so happy to see him learning how to adapt and evolve his skills!!!! That’s great character development!!!

Scientific Explanation - Whenever my friend and I watched the trailer for FFH, she groaned and said “Great, there’s magic? it’s turning into DC!!!” (We both laughed at that but knew we were gonna see the movie anyway). It got worse whenever I heard Mysterio was from an alternate dimension. “Great, Marvel timelines and universes are both super messy now!!!”. But wait, it’s not!!! They explained it with science because it’s a Spiderman / Iron Man movie. It’s about science, and how it can be used for scary things. 

Peter being smart! - I always feel guilty for constantly forgetting that Peter Parker is a genius. Like, Tony Stark levels of raw intelligence. And they portrayed that so well! And he’s still a kind and compassionate boi! Like whenever he was making the suit? Brilliant. Whenever he was using his webs to bring down the drones bc he doesn’t have harmful weapons? Masterful to his character. He’s like a better version of Tony Stark because he was raised right (I love Tony to death but I’m not gonna pretend he was a model 16-year-old). 

Tony Starks; presence in the movie - They kept Tony in the movie so subtly and beautifully. Like, the moments with Peter and Happy. E.D.I.T.H. Mentioning him with Mysterio. Peter’s new character arc. I love how the world hasn’t forgotten him. he is still making such an impact on everyone - whether that impact is good or bad is up to the person. 

Peter becoming Iron Man / following his path - There’s way more to my analysis on this than I can sum up in a paragraph, so I’m gonna write a longer version of this and link it. But basically, I think we’re going to watch Peter follow a very similar journey to the one of Tony Stark. The writers are going to completely break him in order to turn him into a hero of the likes of Iron Man. 

Stealth Suit - This one isn’t as deep as the others. I just love the suit. it looks so cool.

Happy Hoggan - Cool Uncle figure? I don’t like how he and May are in a relationship but I’m fine with it. I love how Happy sees a little bit of Tony in Peter, just like how Peter sees Tony wherever he goes. He’s just such a great supporting character.

The Teachers - No reason in particular. No deep ones anyway. i just thought they were hilarious and reminded me of multiple of my teachers.

The ending - Definitely going to write a longer analysis on this. I hated the ending, of course, because what do you mean our boy is a bad guy? We know he’s innocent and that’s what’s frustrating. But it’s well written. It’s going to hurt Peter. I hate the writers for that but it’s so masterful to do that. 

Peter in general - his motivations, his story arc, his new character development. Writing an analysis on him later maybe. I love him so much. I ‘m not a massive fangirl of the actor himself (though I still love Tom, ngl), he adds such a depth to Peter’s character portrayal. There isn’t a single moment in this movie where I’m not just totally in love with this adorable boy of a brilliant character. 

#spider-man far from home #sm:ffh #ffh #peter parker #tom holland #marvel mcu #mcu

[blookmallow]

and now we return to outlast 2, where- 

THINGS KEEP GETTING SO, SO MUCH WORSE

(i have... a LOT im trying to process about this whole section sorry for upcoming text walls. really nasty #blood / #gore in here as well though) (i didnt realize i was This far behind on liveblogs lmao i drafted this. a while ago and didnt get back to it until now) 

---

so i fell off the bridge (shock. horror. who could have predicted this) and right into the scalled village

what.............happened to you 

fuCKING GO D

so it turns out “the scalled” are... some kind of leper colony banned from the town and left to fester and rot out here alone 

most of them are just lying around suffering and dying, i dont know what the fuck happened to them, there’s some mention of like. wildly untreated syphilis/potentially other stds they’re being told is their curse for the sins they’ve committed but does.... syphilis do that to you. it might actually be leprosy i dont know i dont want to research this. all i can think about is when i watched jesus christ superstar in high school and the leper colony song where they’re all crowding around jesus all trying to touch him REALLY freaked me out for a while

i mean its like. probably a combination of disease left horrifically untreated and massively infected given the absolutely appalling conditions these people are living in (everything’s run down and full of blood and shit and who knows what else), starvation, who knows what they’re even finding to eat out here so that’s probably causing even more disease but still jesus christ

at first it just made me really sad, sure these people came from temple gate too so they were. fucked up cultists to begin with but a lot of this is like... result of longterm emotional and mental abuse and manipulation, some of these people might not have started out as depraved evil murderers, and like. nobody deserves to live like this. except knoth lmao throw him down here, but

so i thought maybe it would turn out that you realize they’re human too, they’re just in a fucking LOT of pain and maybe you can’t do anything to help them (i dont think there’s any hope for anyone down here at this point) but maybe they’d turn out to be on my side and do something to help me fight back against the leader who abandoned them, “the most absolutely fucked up looking people are actually the most human” kind of thing but uh. that is not how things went. at all, 

ill get into How Fucking Bad this got in a second lmao but like

most of them dont really do anything to you other than bleed on you and beg you for help, some people lash out but thats like, understandable given the horrifying state they’re in, but

as it turns out, being the “scalled messiah” is a VERY bad thing, they went from occasionally lashing out at me to outright tracking me down to murder me to death which, like, honestly kind of disappointing

bc one of the things i liked the most about the first outlast was how many of the prisoners were clearly just victims too, some of them (lookin at you, naked twin guys,) were just evil and murderous but some of them were just very very mentally unwell (exacerbated by horrible living conditions and the fact that the people who were supposed to be protecting them and helping them recover were actively, intentionally working to make their symptoms worse) and couldn’t really be blamed for acting violently toward you, but

then sometimes there’s people who warn you about dangers ahead, people sitting in corners hiding and scared and wont hurt you unless you give them a reason to think you might be a threat, people just trying to stay alive, people who need help 

but that’s. not the case here, and there’s definitely a particular kind of horror in “absolutely no one in this hell town can be trusted, nobody will help me, everyone here wants to hurt me and every time i think ive made any kind of progress it gets so much worse” (except that ONe guy who tried to protect me. im still sad about him) but. i dont know i feel like there’s a missed opportunity here. im not sure if im supposed to feel like the scalled deserve to be like this because of the kind of people they were before, but i dont. i feel like the “what the fucking shit HAPPENED to these people” horror is heightened by the realization that they’re people, and just kinda using them as attack zombies is. missing something, somehow. i dont know, i cant figure out how to word what i want to say here 

i mean its absolutely fucking horrifying, i was scared out of my mind going through all this, and i still gotta give props to a video game experience that left me legitimately feeling like i needed to go take a shower and crawl under a blanket for a while 

i guess ultimately with outlast im coming here to be scared shitless more than anything else and boy did they ever fucking deliver

ok im gonna stop bc i will keep talking in circles about this forever if i dont, moving on

WHAT EVEN ARE THESE GUYS, APART FROM COMPLETELY TERRIBLE

im guessing theres some kind of... inbreeding birth defect situation going on here but i cant even process what im looking at 

that and its hard to look at them at all considering the only times i see them im getting murdered to death. my panicked screenshots hoping to get a better look later did not help 

PRETTY SURE THEY JUST MADE HIM DRINK THEIR BLOOD, 

how the fuck has my dude not thrown up like 90 times already. im glad he hasnt bc im bad emetophobia but outlast 1 did it so im honestly surprised that hasnt happened unless ive just forgotten it in the blur of nightmares im going through here 

OH

THAT’S... NOT GOOD

THAT IS REALLY, REALLY NOT GOOD

FUCK SHIT MOTHERFUCKING FUCK

i gotta say im impressed with how FAR they GO with this one, i have no idea how much game i have left but considering this isnt even the ending i am HORRIFIED to see what the fuck is gonna happen next 

i mean outlast 1 has you getting your fucking fingers sliced off and whistleblower has. That Scene (even though like. it stops before waylon actually gets cut its REALLY CLOSE)  

this whole time i kept thinking something would happen and they’d get interrupted, I’d escape somehow, they aren’t really going to have the player character get literally fucking crucified from your own perspective,

but then the nails go in 

and you’ve got one hand literally nailed to a cross

and then they start the other one 

and i was like, WOW FUCK, THEY ACTUALLY DID IT, BUT NOW HE’LL ESCAPE... SOMEHOW.... RIGHT ??? 

but they lift it up 

and you’re hanging there 

and for a second i legitimately thought it was gonna end there for him, i thought he was actually just going to die there and the game would continue with lynn or something (which, to be fair, would be a pretty cool twist, but i dont WANT blake to just die here like this) 

ANYWAY!! FUCKING GOD, THAT SURE HAPPENED 

but against all odds HE SOMEHOW DIDNT FUCKING DIE, and managed to find the strength to rIP HIS HANDS OUT OF THE NAILS AND FALL DOWN

i cannot fucking IMAGINE what that would feel like. i dont want to imagine it but i sure the fuck am now 

i dont know if its possible to like. die from bleeding out in this scene if you dont find the bandages fast enough but it sure felt like i was going to 

fucking hell i can practically feel it in my real hands i HATE THIS i HATe it

god. fuck. im gonna be thinking about this scene for the rest of my life i didnt think anything would ever be worse than the finger slicing scene in outlast 1 but this. i think this wins

wHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!??? THERES SOMETHING CHASING ME IN THE SCHOOL FLASHBACKS NOW IM NOT EVEN SAFE HERE ANYMORE

WHAT *IS* THAT??!??

w OA h

i still have no IDEA whats going on with these flashbacks either, clearly his classmate hung herself and he feels subconsciously responsible for it because he didn’t do anything to stop her (though it doesn’t sound like he Could have done anything, and. they were kids), there’s definitely some buried trauma he never dealt with thats resurfacing now but

i still dont think its just a manifestation of trauma, because like. the recordings are still coming out as fucked up static, if he was just having really intense hallucinations there wouldn’t be any record on the camera, it would just be him filming nothing and talking to himself through a panic attack, it wouldn’t be getting consistently corrupted ONLY during the flashbacks so what the fuck is happening 

COLA

DRINK IT

i m losing it its the cola machines from the first game i diD NOT EXPECT THESE TO BE HERE 

what the fuck is christian salad 

you didn’t think i would see this, outlast devs, you thought you could hide this on the menu board and i wouldnt notice. i did notice and i demand answers

NO!!!! THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF OKAY THIS IS THE LEAST OKAY I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE 

WELL!!!!! OKAY!!!! ALRIGHT!!!! NOW THAT I’VE BEEN LITERALLY FUCKING CRUCIFIED, FELL DOWN A HILL AND STRAIGHT INTO A FENCE OF BARBED WIRE, GOT DRAGGED OUT HERE AND BURIED ALIVE, CRAWLED MY WAY OUT OF MY OWN GRAVE AND NOW HAVE HOARDS OF DISEASED ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE CULTISTS SEARCHING FOR ME SO THEY CAN DEVOUR MY FLESH, LET’S GET GOING, SHALL WE 

THIS IS FINE!!! EVERYTHING IS FINE I CANT SEE SHIT AND THERES NOTHING BUT TREES AND BARBED WIRE EVERYWHERE AND NO INDICATIONS WHATSOEVER OF WHERE I NEED TO GO BUT IT’S F IN E IM DOING GREAT 

#lucy plays outlast 2 #was further behind than i thought lmao but heres some more

[high-warlock-of-brooklyn]

Bambi-eyed Beauty And The Beast

This is for @clockwork-baroness for being a literal ray of sunshine! Love you Val, 😘. And beta read by @my-archerboy. Jess, you're an Angel. I swear, Raziel's got nothing on you. So, here it is. Also, every feedback is highly welcome and appreciated.

——————————————————————

“Ugh, why did I say yes to this trip again? Wait, I didn’t. Why? Oh that’s right, because no one bothered to ask me!” Alec was talking out loud, to no human in particular.

Yes, hiding away from his family and friends was not the bravest move, or probably even the right one, but as Izzy liked to say, ‘Heavy is the head that wears the crown’, or in his case, ‘a thorn crown of crippling anxiety, and panic attacks, and fear of social interactions’.

But this weekend, well this weekend had been his personal serving of torture, straight from hell. Last week his parents told him that he and his three siblings would be joining them at the office retreat for their firm. And there had been no room for arguments. Also, his parents wanted him to ‘network’ as much as he could, so that he could lay the groundwork for once he became a lawyer, inevitably in their opinion. He’s the eldest, it made sense to them that he will join their firm when he grew up, and his personal choices didn’t matter.

Also, he was mostly sure Mr. Branwell’s daughter Lydia wanted to go out with him. She kept on smiling at him, and blushing whenever he talked to her, and she even asked if he wanted to go see the fountain with her. THE fountain! In the LOVERS' Quarry! 

 So, that’s why he was at the barn. Animals didn’t ask questions about his life, or his grades, or the fact that he’s so gay it’s painful to watch. Animals would just be there for you, in their way, with cuddles, and licks and every game of fetch you might want to play with them. April Ludgate was right, animals should be rewarded for not being people.

And cows, cows were THE best animal out there in Alec’s humble opinion. They’re moos were adorable, and they were always jabbering, and it’s like they’re just looking at you with so much love with their big eyes! Alec could melt every time they looked at him. 

And Jace, Jace didn’t like cows!

“Who doesn’t like you guys?! That is pure madness!” Alec was petting his favourite cow out of all of the ones at the barn, a white cow with a black patch of fur around her throat, named Madzie. “You guys give so much to us, and all you want in return is a little love, why is that so hard for people to understand? You know, if he wasn’t my brother, I would’ve unfriended him.”

Alec continued his rambling to the oblivious animal. “You know, when I grow up; I want to be a veterinarian. I want to spend as much time as I can with you guys. I want to help you guys get better if you get sick, and I want to show people that you guys have so much more love to give than they give you credit for.”

“But that probably won’t happen,'' he sighed. “See, my parents want me to be a lawyer, like them, so I can join ‘The Family Business’” he air quoted, and then continued petting the animal who now simply stared at him with big eyes.

“And I want to say no, I want to follow my heart. But one of us has to listen to them. Izzy wants to be a forensic scientist, and I’m pretty sure they would rather be disbarred from being lawyers than tell people that their daughter works with cadavers, even though she is the most intelligent person I know and being a forensic scientist is so cool. Jace wants to be a police officer, and according to my parents, adopted or not, no child of theirs is getting a job as low as a public servant, even though the police do so much amazing work. And Max, well Max wants to be an artist. He wants to go to the Brooklyn Academy of Arts and be a comic artist. I’m pretty sure they’re gonna faint when he tells them that.”

“So that’s why I have to be a lawyer, and join their firm, and manage it one day, so that my siblings can follow their dreams. They deserve it, you know. I’m sure I can manage being a lawyer; it’s them I’m worried about. Izzy and Jace, they have so much passion, they should follow their dreams. And Max- Max deserves the whole world.” Madzie mooed at that, making Alec smile.

“You’re right, I’m not worried about that, I know I’ll get my parents off their backs if I become a lawyer. I’m worried about Lydia, well, actually, I’m worried about how to tell my parents that I don’t like Lydia, or any other girls for that matter. I’m gay! Oh God, they will disown me! And then who will look after Jace, Izzy and Max? And I can’t tell them about this, they try, but it’s not like they are gay too, and no matter how much you try, supporting something and going through it are two different things. And I have never met anyone else like me, I mean I watched them on TV and on the internet, but that was it.”

Alec remembered the first time he saw Ellen coming out, he cried the entire time, and Izzy and Jace just sat with him, Max didn’t quite understand what was going on, but he hugged Alec tight and told him he loved him. Alec had never been more proud to call them siblings as he had been in that moment. 

He remembered suddenly, and looked at Madzie, excitement shining through his hazel eyes, “Did you know my great-aunt Anna was gay? You know, I read about her secretly. She was badass!” Alec’s eyes shone with reverence and awe.

“She was this amazing woman who identified as non-binary, even so many years ago. And she wore these awesome suits! I don’t know much. I just know that she fell in love with this woman, Ariadne Bridgestock.” Alec then stopped talking, because he knew the end of the story, and it was heartbreaking.

“What happened next?”

Alec turned his head around so fast, it’s a miracle he didn’t get whiplash. In his defence, he was pretty sure that he was alone in the cow shed, so unless the animals started speaking in English, there was someone else with him there. And, he was ready to face the intruder with the martial arts training his parents insisted on. But then he saw his face and...

Alec.exe stopped working.

The stranger had the most beautiful eyes Alec had ever seen, warm chocolate brown irises with specks of gold, amber and black sprinkled in it, and those beautiful eyes were framed by gold eyeliner, perfectly winged at the end, with purple eyeshadow, and gold glitter shining along his cheekbones. And wow, his cheekbones! And his outfit! Alec had seen Izzy wear many outrageous outfits, much to his parents’ chagrin, and she wore them with the same charisma she did any other task with, but Alec was sure not even Izzy could pull this outfit off. Black leather pants that looked like someone painted them on, a dark purple silk shirt, with a periwinkle velvet vest, and there were so many necklaces! How could someone wear so much stuff and carry them so amaz...wait was that A PURPLE STREAK IN HIS HAIR?!

“Holy shit you’re beautiful!” Damn it, he did not just say those words out loud! Stupid brain! Great, now he seemed like an idiot.

“Why thank you Darling! I’m very flattered.”

He didn’t think it was weird! Oh, that’s a relief! Wait, what was he doing here again?

“What happened to Anna and Ariadne?”

Alec tried. He really tried. He tried to ask what that amazing glittery boy was doing here.

But all he could manage was, “Wha-?”

“Your great-aunt Anna. You said she fell in love with Ariadne. What happened to them?”

Finally, Alec got his brain back on track. “Wait, who are you? And, and um what exactly are you doing here?”

To his credit the stranger looked a little embarrassed. He waved his hand around and, oh wow he was wearing so many rings, his hands looked so beautiful!

“I’m so sorry” the stranger smiled sheepishly, “I’m Magnus, Magnus Bane. My friend Raphael’s parents own this farm. I’m just visiting for the weekend, and you are?”

“Lightwood.  Alexander. Alexander Lightwood. Alec. Just Alec is fine. I’m gonna stop rambling.” Alec was sure he was red by now, because of embarrassment or blush, he wasn’t sure.

The stranger, no wait, Magnus, just smiled fondly and his eyes sparkled. “Well Alexander, now that we know each other, mind sharing with me what happened in Anna and Ariadne’s story?”

“Oh, it was really sad. They wanted to spend their life together, but Ariadne’s parents married her off with the son of their family friend, Charles Fairchild, and he then took her to his home in France. Anna lived alone, until the day she died. She was only 56.”

“That’s really sad. I hope she was happy in her last days.” Magnus looked forlorn. Alec reciprocated his feelings, after all, Anna was brave enough to pursue her true self, and Alec didn’t have that bravery, which made him appreciate her even more.

The large clock in the clock tower opposite to the barn announced the time loudly, startling both of them; apparently it was time for dinner. Alec found that he didn’t want to leave Magnus’ company just yet.

Which was great because what Magnus said next sent butterflies fluttering in Alec’s stomach.

“You’re wrong you know. You should listen to your heart and go for it. Something tells me you’ll be a good vet. And, by the way, you did meet me, so now you’ve met someone like yourself. Well at least partially, seeing as I’m bi. See you around Alexander.” Magnus sent him a glittery wink and left leaving Alec gaping on the spot, red from head to toe.

Maybe this weekend trip wouldn’t be so bad after all.

#alec lightwood #magnus x alec #magnus bane #izzy lightwood #jace herondale #madzie #Shadowhunters #the shadowhunters chronicles #the mortal instruments #writing

[a-functional-lowlife-blog]

8.11.19

So I’ve never really utilized anything other than a diary to jot down my daily feels, but something tells me I might find some comfort knowing that nobody can sneak into my room and read my journal. Tumblr seems like a good enough void to dump these thoughts into. Maybe it’s my psyche craving a positive outlet.. Id rather this be private, but sometimes connections supposed to help, right?  If topics of abuse, death, suicide, or depression trigger you, please do not continue reading. So I guess, let’s start from the top.

I’m 2X years old, & I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing with my life right now. I’m a gamer, & employed, But it’s not like I”m pursuing some great dream. I’m kind of coasting through life, trading experiences for fragments of myself. But I’m honestly rather content, at the moment. I make decent enough money. I can afford to shelter myself, feed myself, & entertain myself. So to some people, yeah it might look like i’ve had it pretty easy. In some ways, I have; in others, not really. 

It was just me & my mom growing up. Dad wasn’t around, & i don’t really want to get into that right now. My mom did everything she could for me. And I, of course being a growing hormonal boy, never truly appreciated it until I got into the real world. Thanks mom. She low-key prepared me for almost anything. I graduated high school, no special titles or accolades, but I could hear her screaming well above the entire stadium of parents when they called my name. I hope I can make her that proud again someday. I haven’t seen her in almost 4 years. Life can be a bitch like that once you’re an actual adult.

Since graduating high school, I’ve fathered a child, a little girl, who continues to blow my mind every day, with her brains & beauty. Damn, my ugly mug made one amazing little girl. Everything I do, I do for her. Even when it doesn’t seem like it. The mother & I are still on fantastic terms, but we separated a couple years after the birth. It just didn’t work as a healthy relationship anymore, & our daughter deserved better than that. 

After we parted ways, I got myself tangled up with a girl that, in hindsight, I should have never said hello to. Now don’t get me wrong, the first 2 years were truly magical. She was young, beautiful, petite body, alternative with piercings & tattoos. Which was basically me, young, rather handsome, fit body, alternative with piercings and tattoos. A match, it would seem, made in heaven. She made me feel alive again. She reinvigorated me to my soul, showed me new experiences I never could have imagined, or dared to do otherwise. I felt happy. Which for me, is a rather fleeting bird, one that’s typically driven away by the raven. It was just like a fairy-tale. We all know those aren’t real. I should have seen the warning signs. The “red flags” that everyone says I ignored. But red flags look like regular flags when looking through rose-tinted glass. If you’ve stumbled upon this by chance, & are triggered by abuse, or suicide, I suggest you stop reading now. 

It started out with little things. Roast-like insults, but sometimes they hurt a little more than they should. Which, obviously, led my mind to tell me “stop being so sensitive.” I’d let it slide. As we approached the 2 year mark, it started getting nastier. Her patience with me was very thin. The smallest error, like I forgot to pick up soda on the way home from my 10 hour shift once, led to me being belittled with insults to my intelligence & even attacks on my dedication to her. It only got worse as time went on. I silently cried myself to sleep most nights. My self-esteem was in an entirely different dimension by this point. I’ve become completely submissive to her. I looked at myself in the mirror one night, after doing things that I regret doing, and being disgusted in myself for letting it get so bad. For never stepping back up & standing my ground. I got us through homelessness. I had helped her get help because she had a severe mental illness that I will not put here. Her every wish, within my power, was my command. Why should I tolerate being treated like something stuck to the bottom of her shoe when kindness didn’t suit her?  So I did. That was the first time she hit me. Just once, open palmed to my left temple.

It didn’t stop. It got worse. I will not go into details, because almost 3 years later, I still panic when I try to think about those months. Most of my friends & family do not know how bad it got. And those that do, do not even know who she even was. It collapsed faster when I started to dissociate after multiple (thankfully) failed suicide attempts. I started cheating, trying to get her to leave me, since she wouldn’t allow me to leave her without threatening to kill herself. “You’re my soulmate, I won’t live without you.” She kept me in that state of submissive fear for another year, using the same lines. Using the same deflection tactics to make me question myself. All while calling me her “soul mate”. I hate that fucking word now. 

But I did finally get the courage to leave. In the middle of the night, a train ride back to my hometown. She tried to work back into my life a few times over the next 2 years. I eventually stopped talking to her, because she would always try to convince me to come back to her, that it can be different, that she’s willing to start over. So I stopped talking to her last year. And now, I can’t anymore, because last month, she killed herself. I honestly never stopped loving her. I can feel the hole where her energy used to be, the bits she contributed to my soul, snuffed out.. I blame myself for her suicide. And I hate that I fell in love with such a beautiful, toxic soul.

We can skip over the few fling relationships I held while in my hometown, except for one girl, who I will forever thank for showing me what a true loving, healthy relationship, based on trust and open communication can actually be like. We got into it knowing we were on a time limit, because I was already in the process of saving up to move again, this time, 3,000 miles away. But we had good chemistry, and I think the relationship was the perfect amount of time for both of us. She’s a LoZ girl. Major fan. As in, owns every game, tons of merch, follows tons of streamers on Twitch who play Legend of Zelda, especially if it’s Ocarina of Time. Coastal gamer girl is probably the best description of her. She’s still one of my best friends, & I talk to her on occasion. She’s super happy, and living a rather adventurous life. I’m super happy for her. 

Our fateful day came, and I had to move away. She comforted me during the entire packing process. Which literally filled 2 boxes I shipped to my new address, my military backpack, & a laptop case. It still resulted in 8 hours of back to back anxiety attacks. I only knew TWO people in the town where I was moving to. One of them, I had never physically met before in our entire 14 year friendship. So, rightfully, I was terrified to leave. I’d reconnected with old friends in my hometown. I’d met an amazing girl in my hometown. I’d landed a really fantastic job in the medical field in my hometown. What was I thinking?! Leave all of THIS?!

But I knew why. She knew why. Everyone in my life knew why. The answer was simple. Yeah, I had a good job, a good girl, & a relatively good life. But I wasn’t truly happy. In my soul. Just as I was in the states I’ve lived before. And that was okay. We had the perfect amount of happiness.

So here I am, in an undisclosed new location, three-thousand miles away from my hometown. And honestly, I’m happier here than I’ve ever been anywhere else. Do I see myself dying here? No, not really. But I could kick it here for a decade or so, if the fates allow my life that long? Sure. The best friend I’d never met before, is just as amazing in person. We play video games together now & then, and go out to the downtown bar scene sometimes for karaoke. There’s 3 roommates total. I enjoy being their roommate. Also, there’s 4 cats. who I absolutely love, and will contemplate posting their pictures here too, for memories sake.

I’ve made some really amazing friends, especially one girl in particular. She’s been very good to me, in many ways. Dinners, events, concerts, party weekend for my last birthday to pass. All while both of us just have a blast around each other. She’s helped me alot these last few months, everything from food to rent, while I struggled to find work, & get on my own two feet. I struggled for 5 months before I landed myself where I am now. So to celebrate, she & I went and got tattoos today.

I got a tattoo of the chemical structure of serotonin on my wrist. To remind myself to be happy, because I’ve already spent so much time being sad. And that I’m going to keep making myself happier, by staying true to myself, learning & growing from the events I’ve been through in my life, both good and bad. Creative, & destructive. Because it’s all molded me into who I am now.

So really without getting into childhood stories, high school shenanigans, & college hijinx, that’s the story of Z. A recent handle I’ve taken to lately, in case someone does decide to read this. I’d like to add to this little... off-site journal once a week, maybe more often.

That’s all I’ve got for today. I’m sufficiently stoned now, & would like to return to playing Apex Legends.

Signing off, 

Z

#journal #private #tw suicide #tw abuse #tw drugs #read at your own discretion #do not repost #venting

[hollenius]

I'm so so sorry but I have to: Werner for the character meme (and/or Chuck McGill, if you can't think of anything!)

What the hell, I'm gonna do Werner AND Chuck

Werner

Fav thingabout him: He is so sweet; if I had a German uncle or grandpa or something, I'dwant him to be mine. He obviously takes his work very seriously too. He(initially) seems like a very cautious, careful sort of guy...unfortunatelythis attitude does not extend to all aspects of his life.

Least favthing: He's too sweet, dammit. His naivete and trusting nature made megenuinely angry, because I couldn't believe anyone could be so stupid aboutanything when he seemed fairly smart about everything else. I don't think youhave to be "street-smart" to understand that breaking out of an enclosedcompound without permission isn't the sort of thing you'd be allowed to getaway with. I was annoyed at how he felt like a plot device at the endthere--that he just existed to force Mike to have to kill him. It's a fault ofthe writing more than the character. Everyone could see the end coming from amile away, which is (as far as I can remember) unprecedented in the series.Even things that were heavily telegraphed and seemed obvious usually carriedsome sort of unforeseen twist, i.e. everyone thinking the lantern was going tobe involved in Chuck's death, but not knowing it was going to be a suicide. Thesecond they showed Mike building up a relationship with Werner, everyone knewexactly where it was headed. Also, this is a weird pet peeve, but I hate how healways called Mike "Michael". Bro, you've been working with him formonths, you are the only one who calls him that.

Fav line:(agh, unfortunately I can't recall any because I don't have any way ofrewatching season 4 at the moment. I love that he was courteous enough totranslate into English that he felt like he was going to throw up in the bumpyvan ride.)

brOTP: Him& Mike as cute old man drinking buddies.

OTP: Werner& his unseen wife, I guess. (That phone call before his death was so sad. I hope nothing happens to her, but this is the Breaking Bad Cinematic Universe, so bad things often happen to innocent people.)

nOTP: idk,Werner/Kai? I haven't really seen him shipped with anybody so I can't say Ihave any strong opinions on the matter.

randomheadcanon: (again, I need to rewatch all of season 4, because I remember thestory arcs, but not enough of the little details in dialogue and stuff.)

unpopularopinion: I have to admit, I don't know enough of what the popular opinions onWerner are to know what an unpopular opinion would be. I liked him, I just wishhis character arc felt less contrived and that he was treated like less of adevice. I also have seen some people in some places comparing him to Walt,which doesn't really make sense to me, because personality-wise they're justtoo far removed from each other. (Then again, people were even comparing dopeyPryce to Walter White, which was also a stretch!)

song Iassociate w/ him: I...I have no idea! Sorry. (So long, farewell, aufwiedersehen, goodbye?)

fav picture: the cute little drawings @callmcgills did of him! (Also, ugh, the shot where he is, uh, shot...is beautiful. Depressing, but cinematically beautiful. I’m not posting that here though.)

 Chuck

Fav thingabout him: Honestly, as a fellow cowardly, anxiety-ridden, socially maladroit, perfectionistolder child, aspects of him are extremely relatable, frightening as that may beto admit. (My younger brother is of the slacker/moocher variety, rather thanthe con man variety, though.) I don't agree with everything he does, but I understandwhy he does it. (This is actually pretty similar to my attitude towardsSkyler's actions in Breaking Bad--I don't necessarily agree with her decisions,but I mostly understand why she acts the way she does.)

Least favthing: I think he should've been willing to at least put Jimmy on some sort ofprobationary path to HHM after he landed Sandpiper. HHM was under no obligationto hire Jimmy after he passed the bar (a lot of fandom seems to feel otherwise,which makes no sense! I don't think any other firm would've wanted to hireJimmy either!) Jimmy probably would've still managed to screw something up, butat least then if Chuck wanted to officially bar him from working for HHM forgood, Jimmy would know why, and what it was that he had done to cause that. Itdoes no good to punish someone if he doesn't even understand he's beingpunished, which is what the whole issue is in the first place with Chuck goingbehind Jimmy's back and using Howard as the perpetual bearer of bad news.

Fav line:"Because if there's one thing kids love, it's local printjournalism."

brOTP: lmao Chuck is bros with nobody except his space blanket, and his ol'sipping-scotch-and-chortling companion Howard, before that relationship gotdestroyed...

OTP: ...althoughI must also confess a SHAMEFUL desire to ship Chuck/Howard, because it's gotsuch a messed up power dynamic, because they've known each other for at least18 years, because Howard's clearly still so much in awe of Chuck (which Chuckprobably enjoys), and because neither of them seems to have any other friendsor close relationships. (Are we ever going to learn what's up with Howard'swedding ring? Even my mom thinks Howard is gay at this point! And what's upwith papa Hamlin? Did he die? Retire?) Canon-wise, I'm actually really curiousabout Chuck & Rebecca's relationship, because I have to wonder what it washe did that caused her to divorce him, but not bear any particular grudge oranimus towards him afterwards. He was clearly really upset about the divorce,but doesn't bear any ill-will towards her either. She doesn't appear to enteredinto any new relationship after the divorce either. It's all very mysterious.

nOTP: I can'ttell if this person was serious or not, but I swear I remember seeing someonepropose some theory that Kim had fucked Chuck at some point, and that's gonnaget a BIG NO from me.

randomheadcanon: oh god I've got like five hundred of them at this point. Themassive infodump that was Chuck's obituary in the season 4 premiere contributedto a lot of them, I think. I imagine Chuck's freshman year of college, at age14, was absolute hell for him. He was so proud to get accepted to an Ivy Leagueschool, but had been upset it wasn't a more prestigious one, like Harvard,Yale, or Princeton. (He had applied to them and had a few interviews, but unbeknownstto him, he had been heavily penalized in their byzantine admissions proceduresbecause, despite his sterling academic record, they didn’t find him outgoing or athleticenough.) His parents put him on the train to Philadelphia by himself, with afew suitcases, a map, and $50. He had no problems getting to the university,but was pretty overwhelmed right off the bat by the fact that everyone else wasolder and wealthier than him; he had dealt with this to some extent in high school, butnot to this degree (I headcanon his fictional alma mater, Francis Xavier HighSchool, as a typical Jesuit all-boys preparatory school that draws heavily fromupper-middle-class suburban families). Here he was, a literal child, thrustinto the adult world, and the world of the elites, at that. He probably feltself-conscious about things he hadn't even realized he could feelself-conscious about before, and spent at least a couple nights sobbing intohis pillow, and praying that his roommate couldn't hear him. He made a coupledesperate attempts to fit in, with a relatively low level of success (e.g. goingto a party and trying to impress people there by playing piano, only to get abeer spilled on him instead), before deciding it wasn't worth it and he wouldthrow himself singlemindedly into his classes and extracurriculars. He had hisfirst-ever panic attack sometime during his first semester, and wound up at thecampus doctor's office because he had convinced himself he was having a heart attack.On being told he was physically fine, he was indignant, but all the same, henever told his family about the incident, or anyone else either. Somewherearound this time, he also gets a letter from his parents, telling him he'sgoing to be a big brother in a few months, and won't this be exciting for him?(He wants to tell them his life is too exciting for him as it is, but saysnothing, instead writing back that he is sure having a younger sibling to helplook after will be the greatest experience of his life. He almost convinceshimself that he means it.)

unpopularopinion: I DON'T HATE CHUCK. (The most unpopular opinion of all!) He's myfavorite character on the show, with the obvious disclaimer that saying acharacter is my favorite doesn't mean I approve of all the character's actions,etc. Also, I know he's just a fictional character, but I'm still pissed offabout people celebrating that he killed himself & saying they hope it waspainful & stuff like that. Like, how much of an asshole do you have to be?What a horrible thing to say.

song Iassociate w/ him: Burning Down The House j/k, probably Faure's Sicilienne,because I too, cannot play it on piano without screwing up

fav picture: Not a picture, but I can’t resist.

[tonkystronky]

So, you want a bunch of angsty irondad fics??? Oh boy, have I got a list for you I've been reading…. A lot of irondad the past week and a half or so So I present to you, in no particular order, a little list of fic recommendations

GONER - CAMELOTQUEEN

authors tumblr, if I could find it: @emkayohh

multi-chapter or one shot: multi-chapter, 3 chapters, finished

fic warnings: kidnapping, minor character death, graphic descriptions of violence, detailed torture scenes, mutilation of a major character, major injuries to a major characte fic summary: There's a serial killer in Queens.

Everyone tells Peter to stay out of it, to leave it to the police, but they should know better by now that he doesn't know how to leave well enough alone. Perhaps he should have listened.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15900036/chapters/37057290

notes: wow so this fic was made by satan, from what I can tell, but at least it had a happy ending unlike one fic that we won't mention because I'm still bitter. If violence isn't your thing, I'd give this one a pass. Personally, it usually isn't my thing, but I can handle it so I gave the fic a try. (possibly a bad idea because it opened me up to reading other stories on this list. you'll see.) It's well written- if very mean to Peter.

EARTHLY DUST FROM OFF THEE SHAKEN - EXPECTOPATRONUM

authors tumblr: couldn't find it, tell me if you know !

multi-chapter or one shot: one shot

fic warnings: infinity war spoilers, panic attacks

fic summary: It had started with leaving his bedroom light on at night before he went to sleep. For a while, that had been enough.

But then it wasn't.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15829122

notes: so, I'm a sucker for some fluff doused in angst, and this fic won my heart the first time I read it. It was pretty much exactly what I needed after infinity war- a little sad, a little cuddley, and a lot of good lines, including this one:

Please read it

WILL YOU BE THERE TO CATCH ME WHEN I FALL? (DON’T LET ME BE ALONE) - RAD_SAD

authors tumblr: couldn't find it, tell me if you know !

multi-chapter or one shot: one shot, but it's part of a series and I recommend reading the first one before this!

fic warnings: references to depression, self harm and drug abuse, bullying, minor injuries to a major character, panic attacks

fic summary:

Aunt May isn't picking up.

She isn't picking up and Peter is crying, crying so hard it's breaking his entire body, shuddering and gasping and that sea of static is bringing him under, drowning him beneath the surface he's trying to break through. He's going to die, he's going to die beneath the waves and the tears and the hand clasped on his mouth is harsh, the air unable to get through his nose and to his lungs. The blood on his forehead is cold now, sticky and in his hair, his eyebrows and drooling down the side of his face. Aunt May isn't picking up and Peter is falling apart.

So, he calls the only person he has left.

He calls Mr. Stark.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15684420

notes: I added this one to the list because I like it ever so slightly more but I absolutely adore both fics in this series and in my angst folder they're listed as inside stuff 1 and 2 since I knew it'd help me remember which fics they were. God I love this fic, which is funny because the author says they're a Tony Stan and I don't,,,, particularly care for him for a couple reasons but that's for another day, amiright?

YOU DID GOOD, KID - CINNAMONTOASTCRONCH

authors tumblr: @lesbian-spiderman

multi-chapter or one shot: one shot

fic warnings: semi-major injuries to a major character, medical inaccuracies, semi-graphic descriptions of violence

fic summary: Peter wanted this to feel more like a win.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14561283

notes: TOLD YOU YOU’D SEE. You wanna feel sad real quick? This is the fic for you, my dude. But I like this fic even though it makes me scream, as peters actual mom, the last few lines are gut wrenching.

DARK ROADS CAN LEAD HOME - LOVEINDIRTYTRENCHCOATS

authors tumblr: @loveindirtytrenchcoats

multi-chapter or one shot: multi-chapter, 3 chapters, unfinished

fic warnings: graphic descriptions of violence, LOTS OF VIOLENCE. ITS PRETTY MUCH LITERALLY JUST VIOLENCE RN.

fic summary: He saw Mr Stark’s eyes widen, his mouth open in a silent scream, before he felt the pain.

A new bad guy, armed with technology capable of suppressing Spider-Man's powers, appears on the streets of Queens. Peter doesn't realise how much danger he's in until it's too late.

Tony Stark has no idea how he got here, mentoring a super-teenager he's not remotely related to, May wants some peace and stability for her and her nephew, Ned thinks this part of being Spider-Man is way less so not cool, and MJ just wants to keep holding Peter's hand. Peter loves his weird little family, and really, really likes his healing factor... when it works.

OR; Tony does a lot of watching other people hold the Spider-Kid, + a few times he holds Peter too (and Peter holds him back).

ao3 link:

notes: so. This. Even if I didn't love the way it's written I'd still recommend it, because the author seems really nice! ……...when they're not hurting my son, that is. but either way I like this fic a lot, even though it's got a big case of angst and the happy ending hasn't quite arrived.

there are so many more fics I love but if I tried to list them all I'd die, so there might be another part to this, maybe even a fluffy irondad fics one.

#irondad #irondad and spiderson #peter parker #tony stark #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #spider-man: homecoming