#not okay but will be soon

[grauline]

finding it necessary to remind everyone that it's seasonal. i promise you it's seasonal. everyone i know is out of their minds right now in some way or another. it's seasonal.

#also thought it was just me being off this week but its not #it'll pass soon . we're okay :)

[maxthesillyy]

#so..many #life is strange #lis #max caulfield #chloe price #pricefield #im just gonna start spewing them out into the void soon #okay #😀 #anyways #one that my brain is stuck on that most people already know but still #between max and chloe #max is objectively the more bold one when it comes to touch or talking or shit like that #if max thinks smth wrong #she gon say it #aftr overthinking a bunch but still #between the two of them max is more likely to speak out #no offense to chloe or to say she doesnt at all #chloe just has a bit more issues when it comes to shit like that <3 #also #with touch #have you ever seen the game #max starts off almost all the contact they have in that game #NEXT #max is asexual NOT because she can be stereotyped into a quiet so much anxiety and has so personality girl or whateever the fuck #but because IM asexual #and IM projecting #which is also why i could not tell you what kind of asexual she is #but #one of them <3

[mroddmod]

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

#the bad batch #tbb #star wars #star wars the bad batch #sw tbb #tbb omega #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb echo #tbb tech #tbb hunter #mods art #mods draws #my art #YAYYYYY ITS DONE #i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think #just on and off #whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this #it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad 😭😭 #but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool #very self indulgent but!!! whatever #i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol #okay byeeeeee #ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD #okay bye fr

[inkskinned]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[wu-does-art]

coming out as a "Will snores obnoxiously loud" and "Nico breaths so quietly you can barely tell hes alive" truther

#LISTEN OKAY. WILL WORKS CRAZY HOURS. EXHAUSTS HIMSELF PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY #hes going to snore. really loud. as soon as he hits the pillow. #its not uncommon for even people who dont snore! that i know anyways. #happened to family members of mine who dont usually snore #also additionally nico sleeps like a corpse so it works out for both of them #i think personally nico is usually like 3/4's awake but once his body actually lets him rest? out. gone. #sleep deprived x also sleep deprived for different reasons #also on a different note (slightly) i feel like will just grabs nico sometime in the middle of the night like hes his teddy bear #nico is lets himself get dragged into wills arms because he too. is completely and utterly asleep #solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace #the sun and the star #rrverse #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo

[tiny-vermin]

忘记他

this is a scene from the film fallen angels by wong kar wai, and the study club prompt in the good omens reference library discord was the 1941 blitz era, so ofc i had to combine them and make crowley really sad again

#i should NEVER say im not gonna draw soemthign #because i end upp drawing that thing anyways #shadowed gast on hold okay #very soon my loves #verms stuff #verms go #crowley #good omens

[queerdraws]

projecting on luffy again. get bited.

#zolu #luzo #one piece #p.s. i claimed to maximum amount of straw hat badges but im only allowed to display them on my main account 😥 they are with me in spirit #p.p.s. have you ever bit a soft upper arm #i think zoros unflexed muscly upper arms would be the most stimmy thing in the world to chew on #me when i see the pumpkinhead halloween luffy world collectible figure. bite. #or some of the unreleased gear5 figures esp the world collectibles #okay maybe im on a world collectible figure kick i just think they are sooooooooooooooo!!!! (≧∇≦) ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡ #the markup to buy them used is insane tho ;__; so i just love them from afar #honorable mention to the new 20th anniversary action pose luffy with the haki arm and the big big fighting grin #and all babygirl zoros which i what i call zoro wearing any sunglasses but mostly filmz and filmgold sunglasses zoro #and when i see any art of my boys in their cowboy fits!!!!!!! #GGAAAAAH IM SO EXCITED I bought the ao cowboy shimmer print had to get it sent to someone in the states who will then ship it to me ;__; #<3 <3 <3 soon i will hold them. need to get some sort of wall display going for them and my zolu mail #okay okay ive ranted about a million things in the tags now. hope you enjoyed the bited. byeeeee

[skullingwaydraws]

sitting on this one for a little while but... bibically accurate body horror fractal sunflower

#bibically accurate angel #body horror #my art #horror art #twitter memes #body horror fractal sunflower #twitter post #fractal #creepy art #this post will be a relic in many ways soon I'm sure #will probably also post b&w version also #is it still okay to get memes from twitter someone help this old

[ninyard]

Exy fans on Twitter (championship final edition pt2)

#let’s try this again #I’m still having fun so you’re still getting em okay! #kevin day #Riko Moriyama #Neil josten #Andrew minyard #Matt boyd #aftg #tfc #all for the game #the foxhole court #in universe memes #mine #Riko arm smash HD reaction coming soon I swear #if u seen the typo no u didn’t #I wish I could put more than ten per post but alas here we are

[yrsonpurpose]

Mary & George (2024) Episode 3 'Not So Much as Love as by Awe'

#mary and george #mary & george #mary and george spoilers #maryandgeorgeedit #nicholas galitzine #george villiers #robert carr #userninz #chrissiewatts #usergayppl #mine* #this being the first gifset i make? likely thing for me to be doing #OHHHH I ATE GOOD W THIS #the tension the hate sex of it all omgkjdhgf #i need them BOTH #robert so down bad even smallpox didnt stop him #the slow touch of the cheek??? okay #right. but who fucked who here. george bffr #crazy things to be saying while hes still inside you but whatever george you gotta do you #i will be making more sets when theres a hd version soon but this is all youre having for now #idk when itll be but dont forget me if everyone else gifs things first :)

[northstarscowboyhat]

Extra doodles for this concept 💔

#undertale yellow #clover #clover uty #kanako #kanako uty #axis #axis uty #north star #starlo uty #starlo #the cowboy hat draws #Okay just had to get this out of my system. Back to your regular programming soon I promise

[the-kipsabian]

saw a take so fucking rancid on twitter i almost deleted the entire app from my phone jesus fucking christ

first of all ao3 is an archive site. this is like going to the library and saying "oh i dont like this" on every piece of media you find that you dislike and thinking they should be stamped with some sort of a marker just cause you didnt like it

you can always click back and leave. fic writers owe you nothing to explain themselves and their creations. if they have mistagged or miscategorized fics, then i understand, however there are report tools for that instead of yelling at the artist tbh

im not saying free works arent necessarily above criticism. but this is just. fucking wild. its common courtesy to just enjoy stuff (or fucking leave if you dont, the back button is free) and if the artist specifically asks for critiques, then give one - constructive that is, shitting all over someones work is not proper criticism, mind you

i just find it fucking wild people are treating art and archive sites as social media these days like this and everything needs to be policed and ~catered to the algorithm~ like. no. ao3 doesnt have an algorithm. you should be able to fucking tell what you like and what you dont like and steer away from that kind of content and let people fucking be with their art. they dont owe you anything (except trigger warnings i'd argue, but i know some people disagree with that as well for some reason), and imagine how much more energy you'd have if you only engaged with things you liked and spent time looking at instead of going to places where you dont enjoy yourself. let alone spending time telling other people you dont enjoy what they enjoy. what a fucking life

#like what the fuck #where is the common courtesy of fandoms these days im just fucking asking. its ridiculous #the back button is free. shutting your fucking mouth is free. constructive criticism when people ask for it is nice but only then #these are fucking basic level fandom engagement things #am i old or are people just this fucking awful now that these guidelines dont exist anymore #im just. ough #sorry i had to get this out. idk as someone who has never left unsolicited advice for anyone and never gotten it back it just #it fucking grinds me that people are like this now. like fucking wow #ive been here for almost two decades soon and i still know how to behave. yall better fucking learn #im gonna go back to video game sorry i really needed to yell for a hot fucking second #if you choose to reblog this dont fucking clown on it okay. god #night is an absolute mess on main

[fismoll7secinv]

sending mental apologies to mutuals

#my noodle doodle #mine #shh yzz #hyperfixation #hannibal #ofmd #wwdits #the owl house #wenzhou #wangxian #hualian #svsss #and so much more sdjfvhsbkj i'll calm down soon okay??? IM SORRY #1k #2k #3k #5k #10k #25k #just queued about 200 posts with hannibal #and there is still so much left to reblog #why is there so much good art holy shit #anyway i gotta get it through my system and i'll calm down in a few days dont worry #but for a while there's gonna be quite some hannibal art here xddd everything tagged so u can filter out if u dont wanna see #edit: queued about 400 posts with hannibal #rip

[cubbyyyy]

Neil is there to protect the one who protects them all.

Andrew always knew how to protect. He sure has his own ways that many fail to understand but the bottom line stays the same.

With Neil coming into his life he gets to be something else than just the protector - which I want to talk about here.

The exy obsessed junkie who claims to only care about his own survival is the first one who sees beyond Andrews play - who sees that Andrew doesn’t take care of himself at all. Too busy keeping an eye on everyone to care about what happens to his own self. And Neil hates it furiously.

So Neil puts Andrew first.

Starting with his health. Exy is important to Neil but he knows Andrew needs to get off the drugs first. The foxes found it easier to deal with Andrew while he’s on drugs, so they didn’t put much effort into changing that - Neil though. Neil saw what the drugs did to Andrew. So they had to get rid off it as fast as possible.

So he makes a deal. He gives up a piece of a truth, gives a promise and makes him go take care of himself.

He punches Riko because he couldn’t stop himself.

He agrees to go to Evermore - he agrees to torture just to keep Andrew save.

Afterwards he refuses to back down his care after being explicitly told to. “If it means loosing you then no”.

After being brutally tortured, one of the first things he does is inspecting Andrews bruises. Inspecting Andrews bruises the same way Andrew inspects his. “All that time fighting and you never learned how to duck?”

He told the cops off when they indicated getting Andrew off him “you’ll what, asshole?”

He was there in a heartbeat the second Andrew got pushed in the final game. And only backed off after checking Andrew was really alright.

For the first time Andrew has someone who has his back the same way he had the backs of everyone else for years. Andrew is fiercely protective and for the first time he is fiercely protected too.

“You are a pipe dream.”

#andreil #aftg #neil josten #andrew minyard #I talked out of memory so I probably missed some instances #sorry #just wanted to talk about neil being protective towards andrew bc it’s one of my favorite things in the books #and disclaimer #I know others cared about Andrew too #it’s just that they heavily relied on what’s on the surface #when it was on the nose that Andrew could be suffering they were there #like thanksgiving #but as soon as it wasn’t explicitly stated they didn't bother as much #bc they had a hard time understanding Andrew #Neil helps with that later though #oh and it’s okay to not be everyone priority #that’s what Neil is there for #Andrew isn’t the priority but for Neil he is #and I think that’s beautiful #the foxhole court #nora sakavic

[inkskinned]

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

#writeblr #the book.... #coming soon #hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book” #i wrote the book #it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written #this is maybe too honest lol #okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may

[block-moss]

Mane 6 redesigns (part: 2/2)

#my little pony #my litte pony friendship is magic #mlp #mlp fim #mlp fanart #mlp art #mlp redesign #mlp fandom #applejack #rarity #rainbow dash #applejack mlp #rarity mlp #rainbow dash mlp #rarijack with these designs coming soon #LORDDDD ITS THAT APPLE BUCKING BUTCH FROM PONYVILLE #okay enjoy guys <3 #my art