#not only because humans clearly do

[unopenablebox]

just discovered that all the wikipedia pages for the protein im studying absolutely suck ass. going on an editing crusade about it

#im going to add REVIEW ARTICLE citations. you're not supposed to use the primary literature for this! you animals! people could say anything #the main article for my protein was clearly written by a neuroscientist who was also an idiot #and apparently just did not bother to check if like any of the ideas they're describing flow together or are related #or if they're ignoring the broadly acknowledged PRIMARY FUNCTION of the protein in favor of poorly studied minutiae about axons #the article about the specific form im studying-- which is in fact extremely well-studied because it's developmentally vital in most #bilaterians and causes serious developmental diseases people actually care about in humans-- #contains a SINGLE PLAGIARIZED PARAGRAPH citing only a DEBUNKED CLAIM FROM 1997 #but that one has to be completely overhauled so im waiting to do it until tomorrow & just left a bitchy comment in the talk page for now #box opener

[ghostfires]

are u telling me the lab people jus LET spider go out into the wild as a child on his own with just a mask 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#did i miss something #is pandora in completely harmony now that the humans are away and won’t attack ???? #ofc he’s close to them but they should be MORE close to him #esp since he’s so clearly seen wanting to be with humans #like the only real reason other than quartritch being his dad #that spider should even be helping these people would be the motif of oh … these are my people … #BUT THEY LIT HAVE HUMANS ON THE NA’VIS SIDE #WHO COULDVE BEEN HIS FAMILY !!! #unless he was inclined to help him because of earth dying ? and him being connected to it even if he never lived on it ? #that’s the only reason i could ever even justify him talking with the recoms 😭 #ik he was being derogatory towards them and baiting them but STILLLLLLL #he knew what he was doing #avatar the movie #avatar 2

[itspileofgoodthings]

like. Nina listens to Taylor, moderately keeps up with the front-facing aspects of her life, enjoys her quality, has her minor critiques, recognizes her place in the current culture, can set her down and do other things when she wants to, and most importantly knows who Taylor is through her art.

#you cannot engage with Taylor completely casually it doesn’t work #you won’t get to know her #you have to let her in. go on a sunset walk with your headphones in and open your heart to her and just HEAR her #and then once you know who she is you can go from there #but there absolutely is this level of refusing to get to know her #and I am truly (once again) not addressing people who have that door simply closed (my mom! my older sister!) #people whose opinions matter so much to me #but I am talking to the people who wrestle and want to love her but actually hate her and idk. I feel that it is something where—- #well it’s like people isn’t it. you have to get to know her without judgment #and without bias #you have to know her FROM her #(which does not involve Easter eggs OR celebrity headlines if you hate both of those things #and then if you don’t like her you do in fact have to leave without making that other people’s problem #especially Taylor’s! #I am thinking of this girlboss journalist who wrote a piece on Taylor the other day #that was LIVID with Taylor for sharing only positive reviews on her insta story #(as is not only Taylor’s right but literally normal behavior??????????) #and was practically foaming at the mouth about how Taylor’s level of power was getting scary #and it’s like. I’m so sorry for swearing but BITCH #a lot of the numbers are out of Taylor’s control and also NOT REAL. Taylor also DESERVES her success and is simply doing her job very well #and riding the waves of virality she knows how to create in ADDITION to that #also stop worshipping power and money!!!! the way you clearly do!!!!!!! #Taylor is not doing anything with it except her job!!!!!!!!!!!!! #she is also CLEARLY a human being who suffers #SEE HER AS SUCH #and end it THERE #INSANE #turning off reblogs for this one #because I have gotten carried away but wow

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#oh wow... #i just had an oh shit fuck moment #wow #i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying #if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time #and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted #so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself #because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to #go in myself either way was way worse to me #because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to #''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever #and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in #and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day... #all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed #although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words: #''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in'' #which is ridiculous #but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it? #forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me? #pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread? #panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head? #yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)? #isn't that literally what masking is?! #and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem'' #when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?! #you know what's the best part about all this #that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above] #my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''.... #same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit'' #ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...

[uncanny-tranny]

I saw somebody discuss it a while back ago, but it was so affirming and I wanted to open a similar discussion here...

I've noticed in myself and others this intense (genuine) trigger response to people not understanding us or our words or whatever it may be, and it can feel so important that you correct people, that people know you, not a shitty cut-out version of you.

I think this is a valid response, of course. It is completely understandable, and I get where it comes from. When I was in the middle of abuse, I was misrepresented in order to be abused, so it can be a genuine trigger for something "small" you said, did, or are to be misinterpreted or twisted into something it isn't. It turns from, "this person didn't bother reading what I'm saying," to, "this person might be just like them, they're going to hurt me."

My overall point is that a huge part of living is this misinterpretation of you or your character, and it isn't your fault, and it isn't in your control. Hell, even, a huge aspect of language itself is in not being able to fully represent you or what you're saying because language is interpretive and based (in part) on other people's interpretation of what you said. They fill in the blanks with their own experiences, desires, or their own character, and at some point, it isn't really about you, you know?

My biggest piece of advice is learning how to let people be wrong. This shit, of trying to correct every single person? Personally, I have found it to be exhausting, and it feels like I'm blaming myself not only for everybody's interpretation of every little thing I do but also for abuse that led to this intense of a response. It's really hard to let people be wrong, yes, but it also has allowed me and permitted me to be more interested in my own life, not in my life in other people's brains. It's given me that specific freedom from abuse, from worry.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #abuse tw #abuse mention tw #no this isn't me saying that only abuse survivors feel this way because it is a very human and very normal emotion #*however* i have also found that abuse trauma can exaggerate that normal emotion into something more sinister #just like my trauma disorders are exaggerations of normal emotions. #this is mostly for clarity but i am aware of how other people can (and will) misinterpret this #i try my best to be clear in my intentions because it is my responsibility but i am also aware... #...that there is only so much i can do before it is excessive. because i can be 100000% careful and people will misinterpret meaning... #...or whatever it may be. that's a part of life. weirdly enough but having this blog... #...has taught me something about being misinterpreted because i have seen so much horrific accusations of me being levied... #...with no evidence. with no proof. that part of me did feel triggered by that because that shit was used by people who abused me... #...but that wasn't my fault. those people who did that? they clearly had it out for me from the get-go and it taught me not to value... #...what was said. they were biased because of how i choose to exist on here - which is queer. which is trans. which is disabled... #...not because i am secretly knavish or whatever it may be

[teamfortresstwo]

…Thinking about an au where Tim gets leitnered into a cat and Elias ‘coincidentally’ walks in just as Jon is like petting him and shushing him because oh no! This poor cat is so obviously distressed! And like Tim would find this cute and tease him over it under any other circumstance but seeing as he’s the cat and would very much like to become a person again it is kinda annoying! And then Elias is like ‘is that a cat, Jon?’ And Jon gets all flustered is like ‘ah-uh-yes, someone must have let it in… I-‘ and Elias just cuts him off and insists on taking is outside and Jon wants to prove he can be responsible by doing it himself but Elias refuses and takes cat Tim and Tim doesn’t really like him and he doesn’t seem to know anything cause this is s1 so he’s scratching and biting but Elias just won’t let him go and…he’s not actually taking him outside?

And so Elias just brings him up his office and is like “well this is quite the predicament you’ve gotten yourself into mr stoker” and then they spend the rest of the day trying to figure out how to reverse it with Tim getting to be all cuddled up to Elias and being pet.

#sorry I just can’t stop thinking about Timelias and I am fucking WEAK for ‘character leitnered into a cat’ aus #and then Tim just had to deal with the fact that his boss’s boss might be a monster because there’s no human way he would’ve known what #happened given there were no cameras in the archives and that ‘oh I checked into your office and only found the leitner reporter to turn #people into cats’ story is clearly such bullshit given that he always heads straight into Jon’s office everytime he goes into the archives #AND that his boss^2 is also using those monster powers to..care for him? and his boss also cares for him??? #cause he didn’t have a reason to do that. most learners are irreversible. but he did. and I just imagine Tim having soooo many feelings #about that…. shhhh ignore that this is basically a built in tragedy given the events of s2-3 it doesn’t matter #they’re soft and cute IN MY HEAD okay!!! #(But I mean I am also a SUCKER for s3 Timelias so it’s not like I’d be against an angry betrayed exes thing) (with bonus complicated comfort #)

[ivystitches]

i’m sorry do you guys really think that women cant be misogynistic,,,,,,,,,,,,,

#ted lasso #babe #i think all of us even were a little misogynistic at some point in our lives because of what we were taught #the implication that jack being misogynistic in this episode is weird considering that the himbos weren’t #sis the team was very clearly divided on the issue #it wasn’t that all the boys were so pure and good #it was that only some of the boys understood that the pictures need to be deleted #and the fact that jack didn’t understand that the leak is not on keeley #is i believe a class thing #have y’all been on twitter do you have any idea how many women react this way to such leaks #i really think tumblr needs to stop putting women on this pedestal as if they can do no wrong #like i’m sorry but women are also very much human and also very much prone to misogynistic tendencies #it may not be to the same degree as men but it very much is true #i don’t even think that ted lasso is very good this season #i’m just very sick of this mindset that if a woman is portrayed to fuck up on tv then that’s just not okay #women are also allowed to fuck uo actually they can’t help it they are also very much human #ted lasso spoilers #in the tags #jack danvers #keeley jones

[creatediana]

"Junho" - an exercise in willow charcoal done 4/22/2024 in about 20 minutes of Lee Junho from 2PM

#this month it will be a FULL decade since i started this blog. but we were just a few short days #of making it 10 years without my kpop obsession leaking onto this sideblog. i thought we'd make it #i thought we'd make it but we didn't #my drawing #junho #2024 #2pm #lee junho #charcoal #willow charcoal #drawing exercise #i drew something else today but i'm saving it to post later #and i only wrote one poem today and it was crap. so here's an exercise #i like how most of the drawings i post to this blog are just beautiful men #it's overrepresented in my portfolio admittedly #im not exactly 'proud' of this but i do like posting my exercises now and then bc they are fun to look at #i find examining my rushed/practiced drawings to be a lot more helpful in spotting my own strengths and weaknesses #than finished drawings i put a lot of dedication in #with this one i can say that the nose is off-center and the skull doesn't go all the way around on the left #as much as it should. but since it's clearly not meant to be a fully 'good' drawing it's more forgivable #if i had slaved at this for four hours it would kill me to stare at that inaccuracy #also: this is yet another example of the 'diana likes to draw faces far more than clothes' style of portrait #it's not that i dislike drawing clothes but they are so much less fascinating to me #i could stare at faces forever. whereas fabric doesn't inspire me to craft every detail just so. #and it shouldn't. because fabric is far more forgiving than human anatomy anyway

[beastking-golion]

Finished my run of Mortum’s romance and.

#full spoilers in these tags here my guys #fhr #fallen hero retribution #fhr spoilers #fallen hero retribution spoilers #okay so 1. love this gal she’s so awesome and knowing she vented to her friend about our dumbass decisions makes me weirdly happy #you are so girlboss mortum #anyways 2. shes so lovey dovey and the fact she takes the time to keep you comfortable first is sooooo ❤️ #her specifically getting cozy with you only after establishing you’re comfortable is so sweet of her #dont ‘bar is on the floor’ me btw because I have another piece to that in why it makes me so emotional #gonna talk about dubious consent here for a second so BIG warning okie? okie. #3. the scene after you reveal yourself as a regene to her and she asks why you had sex with her and you explain how you do things- #for humans because that’s what you were built to do meaning you acted for her desires not your own meaning she ‘pushed’ you into doing it #that was so devastating and I mean specifically for her as someone who clearly values consent a shit ton #yes you may have liked it but you did it cause you thought it would make her happy not because you wanted it like oh my god that hurts #she prolly understands regenes at least to some sort of degree shes a smart well connected woman so learning your bf is actually a regene- #has gotta have so many cogs and questions and worries shooting through her mind #you were made to serve humans you were controlled and abused by doctors like her you clearly fear her to some aspect #its heart breaking because of how much love she shows you and how much love she just has in general even as a villain #sorry yall I just can’t stop thinking about that scene like that had to have been so harrowing for her #it’s not your fault mortum you literally couldn’t have known even if you tried because our ass is so secretive #but it felt like it left off on a hopeful note #you both understand things so deeply about each other now and you can rebuild #start over and try again in a better safer way #one where you’re honest with her #AAWASG TH GFHFHFNGN it was really good it was so good #love that gal mortum so much #built out of love and vinegar she’s so awesome sauce #and with that I’ve played all the fhr2 romances #I can’t decide which romance is my favorite but I know which is my least (and it’s not my bbg mortum love ya)

[cuntstable]

ive talked out this before with a touhou understander mutual (hi julian if youre reading this) but mokou x kaguya is so good and funny like its top tier funny because its literally just Tom and Jerry YURI with an added slice of immortality to make all the cartoonish violence meaningless. but touhou fans have been SOOOOOO weird about it ofc and try to moralize it like ”oh kaguyas the villain mokous a hero etc etc” as if they arent both morally fucked extremely weird and off putting immortals. shut up and enjoy the lesbians lighting each other on fire because after millenia of rivalry how else do you flirt

#like you could read more to it ofc like how maybe the reason why theyre drawn to each other is because theyre the only ones who Get each #other like mokous a human turned immortal and thus a Freak and kaguya is a lunarian who grew up on earth amongst mortality and impurity so #theres a rift in relatability between her and eirin. like mokou and her get each other like no one wlsd #and since theyre immortals prone to stasis and their Meaningless Violence started off as genuine hatred but clearly over the years the #original purpose of it has faded and now its more of like a way for them to bond. be near the other person who gets them. but because they #are again morally fucked deranged static immortals gouging each other eyeballs out is the only way they know to do it #touhou

[snekdood]

at some point in the future:

*non vegan reading about a new vegan leather*: psh. bet it has plastic in it tho.

*scrolls down and finds out theres 0 plastic. the non vegan gets angry since now theres finally a vegan leather they dont get to complain about*: psh, bet it doesnt feel like real leather tho.

*scrolls down to find out the creators of this leather spent a lot of time to make it more "like real leather*: psh, bet they exploit their workers tho

just say you want to use animal leather and you were never going to consider an alternative in the first place, bud

#bc ik for a damn fact plenty a yall are gonna do this. #excuses excuses #ooo but im sure all that leather you buy is totally not from exploited workers either #im sure you take Great Care making sure its not 😒 #and if you do. great for you! why do you think human lives and comfort is more important than animal lives and comfort btw? #you'll do anything to avoid hurting exploited workers yes? but having anything vegan now and then is just. off the table. am i right? #am i correct? have i read you for filth? #and then you'll tell me 'no ethical consumption under capitalism' yet you still try to avoid buying from exploited workers- #so seems like more or less you just say that to avoid feeling any guilt about eating or contributing to the harm of animals? #just say you value human lives more and move on. #'no ethical consumption' to some people means 'i get to say this to excuse any behaviors i do that exploit others and to justify #why im only considerate about 1 (one) thing when it comes to buying stuff' #but what if you could do more than that though- clearly you only buy from places that dont exploit their workers bc of your morals and #not bc you think it actually changes things if you believe in the 'no ethical consumption' argument #so why cant you ever acknowledge that you're harming animals or try to make excuses for why its fine? ik deep down it conflicts with #your moral outlook too. you're selective about what you think you can change because theres some stuff you're unwilling to change. #be real. its not because of capitalism. you think meat tastes good and you like how leather makes you feel Cool and Badass or whatever #you feel Punk and Rock And Roll for wearing dead animals. never mind that that fascination is hard to distinguish from southern right #wingers who love their snakeskin cowboy boots and hunt for sport. #they also feel Very Cool for wearing dead animals 😒 bb girl you're not as counter culture and punk as you think you're coming off as #at least native ppl dont generally do it to Feel Cool

[whatudottu]

Something that I have been secretly obsessing over for forever is the idea of a Ben 10 (or general Omnitrix wielder) that goes full superhero and goes and designs secret identities for EVERY transformation, seeing as how though perhaps the wielder themself is from a human perspective disguised behind the face of an alien, well- fairly certain that transformations have their own degree of recognisability themselves-

Find out more in the cut below-

I mean, from the perspective of a human Omnitrix wielder like Ben or many other characters from canon to original may focus on the visual aspect of recognition, so maybe species with more than one recognisable feature or a completely different set of recognition (vulpimancers may recognise scent and perhaps sound, pyronites may recognise - among sight - heat signature or temperature) are kinda looked over without actually putting their all into studying ‘what makes me recognisable’, but like- in all honesty this is just me rambling about what human masks would fit the Omnitrix translation to certain alien transformations without proving detrimental to any of their abilities.

What kind of mask would a lepidopterran wear, one that conserves confidentiality without detracting from mouth-based protectiles, what about piscciss volann with their biting? What about a mask with a beaded mouth covering, perhaps one with antennae (or lures) of it’s own? What kind of mask that a human can wear be safely used on a pyronite? Give em a flame retardant gas mask, one maybe with an open back just to maintain the flame headed aesthetic.

Can you even mask every transformation? Beyond the Omnitrix sample of arburian pelarota being the very few examples of the newly practically if not extinct species, can you mask a face that rests on the main body? Is recognition of Arburia dictacted in fact by the face of a pelarota or is it determined by shell and (apparently they have hair) fur patterns?

Well, perhaps in that case a superhero outfit is best for the situation!

What superhero mask doesn’t come it with it’s own superhero costume? Well perhaps you could outfit your arburian pelarota transformation with a cloth ‘mask’ that physically acts as the shirt, they do after all have ‘eyeless vision’, all in due part according to their sensory fur (how do you think they see when rolling rolling?). Why not pair our pyronite mask with a firefighter coat, make them seem like a heroic rescuer rather than a TF2 Pyro main, the chunkier and more Fire Force it looks the better. And what about another member or a near extinct species petrosapiens sporting layers of sound absorbing clothing, worn with perhaps a full head mask that also helps insulate from sound as a defense whilst keeping up an optimal level of anonymity.

Masks with bells, give them to aliens that recognise with sound. Masks with real flowers, give them to aliens that recognise with scent. Put a mask in the fridge or let it sit in the sun, give it to an alien that recognises temperature.

What degree does body shape affect alien recognition, how different do you want to make the body look, how does your superhero outfit work to perhaps benefit your transformation.

How do you mask an opticoid? Give them a lacy mask/shirt, they don’t give a shit about chest nudity! How do you costume a gourmand? Give them a jacket they can zip right open, maybe just straight up sleeves with extra material that MIMICS a jacket! How about a loboan? Give them a long-nosed eye mask, it doesn’t need to cover the mouth so long as it covers the top of the snout!

Ough I love masks so much-

#ben 10 #what do i even tag this as... #eh *shrugs* this is just complete #rambling #honestly i was gonna use this post as an excuse to take a picture of all my non-covid masks #which is about *does a kinda literal head check* about 21 unique masks #which includes one of those dollar store masks who's only feature is the fake flower i decorate it with #but excludes the two masks that i painted for an art protect which- while functionally wearable- are a bit too precious to consider doing so #says me who owns amongst the 21 masks 3 genuine venetian masks one of which is the most elaborate mask i own #but anyway i found an old omnitrix wielder oc that had gone with the whole superhero id thing #but it was clearly when i was a fan of tokyo ghoul (aka one mask across all forms regardless of if it worked + casual outfit) #somewhat related i wonder what other alien cultures have as superhero designs because i guess that informs what 'disguised' means #does one who recognise scent used a perfume instead of a mask? does one cover themselves in icepacks to look colder? #and keep in mind- why the omnitrix wielder may be so attached to masks (aside from me being obsessed with them) #is that before and after transformation they gotta also protect themselves too #i guess this is like super reliant on picking the right outfit or getting the right transformation #but like if you can access the clothing programming of the omnitrix (which it clearly would have if ben gets unique clothes) #then you can have your very own human superhero outfit that only uses it's base component materials to act as source for alien outfits haha #ough i am thinking of firefighter hero heatblast (aka the theme and design that really inspired me to ramble)

[faultsofyouth]

It's fucked up that the sober population straight up ignores how a huge portion of addicts have chronic illnesses

#was thinking about my stepdad and his plethora of health issues and how they shape his life #and then i thought about sewercentipede and Then i thought about the huge population of bipolar people who are alcoholics #and then after all that i thought about a convo i had with a straight edge friend who was like 'using illegal drugs Should result in jail #time because they could just Not do those drugs. they do it just for fun' #like i understand where he is coming from but i literally think he is wrong af. #i think the people who do drugs (esp hard drugs) recreationally are outnumbered 2 to 1 by people who #are self medicating with illegal drugs. i think most people totally ignore how chronic illnesses #and severe mental illnesses can hurt you on a profound level and because they dont know about that suffering #they do not understand the urge to numb that pain. and people have no sympathy for what they dont understand #lately im so bothered by people who share their opinions with me about complicated issues but clearly havent ever done any research on them #everyone thinks their opinion is so smart and special and no one is studying #especially not studying human behavior. most people think that socialization and political topics are a fucking joke #with 0 relevance to their personal lives. like no one is ever going to be truly informed about All the things #and i know i certainly am not but it is so annoying to speak with people who make no effort at all to learn about a subject #before they try and tell people the business about it. like that guy. his only understanding of drug use #comes from his own relationship to alcohol. but he was not an alcoholic he was just a perv who decided to go christian #like its so egotistical to assume that your experience and emotions can apply to everyone and yet he is not the only guy i know #who has no interest in any perspective other than his own but thinks his perspective is well informed #im sure women piss me off with this behavior too its just that atm i can only think of examples of men acting like this

[erabundus]

milla's  ask  got  me  thinking,  but  ren  would  probably be  able  to  learn  LANGUAGES  uncannily  fast.  his  memory  (  barring  any  irminsul-related  tampering  )  is  effectively  perfect  —  he  would  only  need  to  hear  or  read  something  once  to  remember  it  for  all  eternity.  he's  probably  at  least  somewhat  conversationally  fluent  in  most  languages  across  teyvat  simply  by  virtue  of  absorbing  words  via  OSMOSIS;  leave  him  in  a  crowded  setting  for  an afternoon,  and  he's  clever  enough  to  use  context  to  slowly  piece  together  what  the  people  around  him  are  saying.

does  he  ever  MENTION  this?  no.  of  course  not.  he  hates  sharing  any  personal  information  about  himself,  and  frankly  it's  to  his  advantage  to  feign  IGNORANCE.  you  never  know  when  someone  might  let slip  something  interesting  within  earshot  —  simply  because  they  assume  he  can't  understand  them.

#𝟎𝟎𝟒 : 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥. ◟ hc .◝ #( anything that has to do with memorization he would naturally excel at. ) #( his memory is scary good because he's built to last literally forever & resist erosion ) #( honestly for the most part ren is very human & that's one of the cornerstones of his entire character that i could babble about for ages #( but i'd argue one of the most inhuman things about him is the staggering degree to which he's just able to store information ) #( his brain is a little bit eldritch but only in that one specific area. centuries of pristine recollection. ) #( and it isn't always apparent because he KNOWS it's uncanny and he intentionally tries to obscure it ) #( so he'll sometimes ask questions or repeat information slightly inaccurately ) #( if only to give the impression he doesn't recall it as clearly as he actually does. ) #( it also contributes to why he's so deeply hurt by the past. time is especially slow to heal his wounds in particular -- #because everything is perfectly preserved in his mind. that's why he'd rather try to get revenge than passively accept closure. )

[acidbathcat]

one thing i don’t like about psychologists writing about mental disorders is when they describe symptoms like it’s something unimaginable or shockingly distinctive when to the person experiencing it it’s just a normal every day thing. it makes it a lot harder to empathize when you project this grandiosity onto it. even something like intense and frightening symptoms are not nearly how people imagine it. it’s more like… frightening but… not world changing. much of mental illness is a collective disturbance that erodes your quality of life over a number of areas in a subtle way. you can only feel the damage when you look back.

#idk like i’m sure it looks horrifying to outsiders but it’s not so much ‘i want to kill myself because of [specific symptom] it’s #i want to kill myself because i have no friends and no good outlook on life. i’m tired of switching medications and i’m exhausted from #forcing myself to function and achieving only minimal success #yes the [specific symptom] is distressing but i know it will end soon. the real pain is knowing it will come back. again. and again. #and again. it’s the wear and tear your psyche goes through #so while on the outside it looks like. wow this person goes through unimaginable horrors clearly this is why they want to die #not really. the unimaginable horrors are actually brushing your teeth every morning and longing for real human connection #but i don’t like reading people’s personal experiences either. because they like to universalize it and even seem to strongly identify with #their disorder in a way that feels almost fetishistic. i do prefer when professionals write the research and what not i just prefer maybe #they collaborated or refrained from projecting.

[abyssalpriest]

unrelated to that lmfao

i love being not (insert religions based on the kings and their people as ''demons'') but being adjacent to the communities while knowing the kings on a personal level because oh boy

#like i wont get into the Chrxstian God And The Kings' ''Fall'' rumour i did the other day but things like that and like #posts being like ''oh they love everyone all of us each of us'' and talking about The Lore of down there thats like. so clearly #twisted to be pro-(kings) propaganda and im like oh my god. if you worship them BECAUSE of these details you think are right then #im so fucking sorry they are way more complex and grey-moral than this #- i have to be clear. i do not know anything anyone says is false if its their worldview. Im not sitting here laughing because i think othe #s are Dumbdumb and cant get across the kings as Flawlessly as me uwu or some shit im explicitly talking about people saying #definitively that the chrxstian god did xyz thing and the kings are poor little meow meows and love everyone while also saying they #dont love everyone bc they vehemently disagree with chrxstians and stuff like. ''('demons') are actually the Pure sacred race theyre all #old gods theyre all pro-human and would never hurt a practitioner'' that type of stuff im like. ahhhhhhhh. so youve heard the propaganda #bc lets be real here i do NOT doubt any of these people's abilities its not my place so i dont even do it quietly to myself. very rarely #yes but like 1% of the time and its only when a bunch of red flags pop up but like. there are so many people on the kings' plane that #are telling humans these things bc......... well look at the goetic demons. royalty and people in power. who do people mainly go #to for demonolatry? The people in their society we understand to be kings. princes. dukes and duchesses. are they all these things? no #like Duke Vepar isnt a Duke lmfao i know her personally like she'll present like that but. imagine if that race wanted to talk to people of #our plane but only spoke to the english king/queen and dukes and duchesses and marquis and war generals and stuff to ask about #their civilisations. do you think that theyd get an unbiased view of the monarchy and the english religion and whatnot........ #edit: so like we're really clear. its like seeing people brainwashed by fucked up politics bc. it is that. #sometimes you just have to laugh bc like god youre in deep and im so sorry #insert my ex (a spirit) lying to me and convincing me he was a video game character for five years like what else can you do but laugh #ramblings //