#not really arthurian related but this thought does cross my mind every time im learning more of medieval history.

[moriaen]

when i know so much about american and english history (in part involuntarily, but also definitely of my own volition) yet very little of my own background's history? that is a bad feeling.

#i dont even speak my cultures language!!!!! im so disconnected from it!!!! trying to learn about it feels so disingenuous because its like #im looking in from the outside and not as if . this is the actual history of my parents and grandparents and- #its a shitty shitty feeling.. to grow up in a western country and just be so disconnected #not really arthurian related but this thought does cross my mind every time im learning more of medieval history. #yeah i can tell you alllll about 16th century england but what the hell [my country] was doing in the 16th century? lol i dont have a singl #e clue #its not even a problem of accessibility because it is accessible since its a major country but i literally have a breakdown every time i #try looking into [my culture] #i put it in brackets because it . it doesnt feel like my culture . #i feel like a stranger #feels bad man #okie rant over<3