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#not satanic
moemoemammon · 21 hours ago
"Why doesn't ur demon bf wear a shirt" with the obey me cast but they literally don't have nipples so it's always unsettling
INCORRECT they have nipples but only sometimes
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Two examples 😤😤
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gxr-dove · 13 hours ago
Obey me! Brothers Help MC Sleep
I made the boys extra soft for comforting purposes. College applications coming up much stress no sleep. Also since most of my writing is going to be in reader perspective the MC is gender neutral.
Your restless mind was starting to get the better of you. You can’t stop your twisting and turning as you struggle to fall asleep. No matter what you do you just can’t seem to relax.
Lucifer easily wakes up from your shifting. Slowly opening his eyes he sees you’ve moved away from his arms. He frowns a bit, however the distance gives him a chance to observe your form. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve someone so beautiful and soothing to his soul.
You suddenly you move snapping him back to reality. You move to stretch your arm over your head. You move from your side to Lucifer’s side as you let out an exasperated sigh. You slowly open your eyes only to meet his dark crimson gaze look back at you. 
Your eyes widen in shock, but soften as you realize you are the one who probably woke him up. “I’m sorry Luci I didn’t mean to wake you. Please go back to sleep.” You say pressing a light kiss to his forehead. You see him furrow his brows as he looks at you worried. “I should be the one telling you to go to sleep. What’s wrong dear?” He ask while rubbing small circles in your back with his thumb. The pressure relaxes you instantly and you start to lean into his hold around you. “I just have a lot of things going on, so my mind is a bit restless right now.”
After hearing your distress Lucifer with lightly kiss your forehead and move his hand to the small of your back and start rubbing circles with his hand until you relax.
If you just want some white noise to help you sleep Lucifer will gladly indulge you and talk to you about his day. He’ll also start to whisper sweet nothings and praises in your ear. His deep voice lulling you to sleep.
If you want to talk instead and have him listen he’s a good listener and will allow you to speak for as long as you like. If he hears an increase in stress in your voice he’ll try to console you the best he can while lightly rubbing/massaging some of your muscles to help you relax.
Mammon usually holds you close when you sleep together. But tonight he suddenly felt a change in warmth in his arms. He also started to feel the bed shift quite often. Blindly he tried to grab for you arm, but kept missing. He started getting a little irritated and decided to open his eyes. 
You were on your back with your eyes screwed shut. You looked like you were trying to focus on something, but also trying to sleep at the same times. Your face seemed to soften and you let out a sigh of defeat. He gazed over your face, mesmerized by his human. But, when a frown started to tug at your lips, he became concerned.
“Oi what’s up with ya? Can’t sleep.” His voice surprising you. You quickly turn your head facing him. His blue hues move closer as he scoots closer to you. You can start to clearly see his gold flecks that reflect in the moonlight from his window. “I’m sorry Mammon I just can’t focus my mind on sleeping at the moment.” He can hear the frustration in your voice and starts to worry. 
Don’t worry The Great Mammon is gonna do all he can to help you.
If your okay with it he’ll pull you close to him and start tracing shapes in your palms or on your back. He wants nothing more than his precious human to relax and sleep next him so he’ll do whatever it takes to help you out.
If you just need to listen to his voice to lull you to sleep he’ll start talking about how he knows how you feel because sometimes he can’t sleep while thinking back and forth between you, the amount of money he owes, and Lucifer finding out. He’ll whisper about how much he thinks of you and how he can’t believe he’s spendin’ all his time thinkin’ of ya. Your small laughter in response to his comments is enough to make him smile and ease his concern for you.
If you want to talk Mammon will listen. “Come close so that The Great Mammon can hear ya. Tell me all ya troubles.” He’ll say while snuggling close to you. While you speak Mammon will continue to trace your palm or the back of your hand. If he’s not doing that he’s playing with your hair threading his hands through it. He’ll occasionally make comments, but mostly listens to everything you have to say.
If you’re hungry he’ll get up with you so you can make ramen together. He’d pretend like there’s only one left so that he has to share with you he definitely doesn’t want you to feed him ramen or anything
The bathtub bed can be a bit squished especially with the Ruri-chan body pillow. Whether Levi is holding you or you are holding Levi it can be difficult to toss and turn. If he starts to feel you squirming a bit he’ll try to brush it off. But when you start to squirm more he starts opening his eyes. He’ll open his eyes to see you staring at the ceiling. He wants to go back to sleep, but your tired eyes worry him.
As the avatar of envy it’s hard for Levi to believe that you are truly his. He doesn’t think he deserves that bright smile and heart warming laugh. But when his eyes meet yours you place a hand on his head distracting him from his thoughts.
“I thought you’d be tired after gaming for so long.” He manages to say. When you look back at him to give him a reassuring smile his face completely flushes. Why did you have to flash him that smile now the poor boy can’t think straight, but he tries to help you the best he can. He’s a bit shy to hold your hand or rub your shoulders, but he wants to help you relax and if you’re okay with it he’ll hide his face in you or rest his head on top of yours while rubbing your arm. That way you can’t see how red he’s getting.
If you want him to talk. He may stutter a lot because of the embarrassing situation, but it’ll stop once he starts talking about video games or his opinions on an anime character. He’ll try to speak in quiet voice, but sometimes he gets a little excited. It’s cute nonetheless so you don’t mind.
If you want to talk. Levi will listen and he’ll calm down enough to think seriously on your thoughts or troubles. He’ll become more confident and might start rubbing your back if you need more comforting. 
Satan’s arms felt empty. You were tossing and turning and you didn’t want to accidentally wake him so you thought giving him space would help. However your absence in his arms wakes him up immediately. At first he’s a bit angry to wake up abruptly and without you in his arms, but he sees you looking frustrated as you try and stretch your neck while laying down.
Satan decided to observe you a bit more while you were busy trying to stretch. He always observes you, but the time he takes to observe you when you’re all to himself is something completely different. You’re his human the one he cares most about in all three realms and here you are glowing in the moonlight. He will absolutely not allow something he cherishes so much to be pestered with bothersome thoughts when you’re trying to sleep.
Your frustration is his frustration so he will do what he can to help you sleep.
He makes himself known by lightly caressing your cheek. You turn to face him. His blond hair slightly disheveled, a few strands cover his face. You try to stop focusing on what was bothering you and move your attention towards him. “Kitten what’s wrong? Having trouble sleeping?” He asks while snaking his arm around you to pull you closer. 
You let out a tired sigh, “I’m just have too many things on my mind to sleep.” You quietly respond. He’ll brush through strands of your hair and hum to himself.
If you want to hear Satan talk or just talk in general he’ll happily tell you about his opinion on any books he recently finished. He’ll describe the scenery from a romance novel that he read and he’ll recite the quotes where the characters declare their love and he’ll look at you with sincerity as if he’s declaring his own love to you which he is
If you need to talk to him he’ll rest his head on top of yours and rub your shoulders or lower back while you speak. He’ll play with strands of your hair while thinking carefully about your thoughts.
If you want him to read to you to help you sleep he’ll grab a book and let you snuggle next to him however you want while he reads to you. Even if you still have trouble sleeping at least your mind is now occupied by his sweet voice and the book he’s reading to you.
Asmo needs his beauty rest, but all your commotion stirs him awake. 
He opens an eye to see what’s going on. You have one leg outside of the covers with your  back turned to him. You start stretching your arm and drop it harshly on the sheets. You seem frustrated.
Even in your frustration Asmo takes his time, eyes tracing over you in the rays of moon light that escape his curtains. He really does believe that besides him you are the most beautiful being he has ever laid eyes on. The fact that he gets to love you in a genuine and true way makes you all the more important to him. 
He wants you to have your beauty sleep so of course he’ll help you sleep
He smoothly moves his hands over your back and onto your shoulders, “What’s wrong sweetie? you look restless.” You turn towards him, “I’m sorry Asmo I didn’t mean to interrupt your beauty sleep” you apologize. But he’s much more concerned about your beauty rest. He’ll offer to give you a massage if you’re okay with it. If you are then he’ll rub and massage the tense muscles on your back and shoulders.
If you want him to talk and distract you, he’s ecstatic, he’d love to tell you more about himself. All while doing this Asmo makes sure to tend to your tense muscles if you allow him to and he’ll gently talk about all the reasons he loves you.
If you want to talk he’s fine with that too. He’s always excited to learn more about you even if it’s just trivial things. He’s also great to complain to and will probably give you advice if you want his opinion.
Of course if those don’t work and you’d like to get rid of some energy he has no problem helping you with that too
Beel woke up a bit earlier than when he usually gets up to eat. It was pretty late and he could feel you moving next to him. He looked down at your face, you seemed to be concentrating really hard with your eyes forced shut. Your expression softened and you let out a frustrated sigh. He was a bit confused as to why you seemed frustrated maybe you needed more room on your side of the bed. But, the way you snuggled up to his arm overwhelmed his heart with warmth. 
Before you could turn again he pulls your hips towards him. Your eyes widen, “Oh did I wake you? Sorry I was trying not to move to much.” He shakes his head, “no I was thinking of getting up and getting a snack anyway.” His warm smile relaxing you more already. “I was just having a hard time sleeping.” You explain. Say no more, Beel picks you up and carries you to the kitchen with him. That way you can be close while he eats.
He would like to listen to you more than you listen to him. But if that’s what you need then he’ll talk to you about anything he and Belphie had done recently, or about the new treats at Madam Scream’s.
If you want to talk he’s an amazing listener. He won’t talk until you’re finished, and if you want to just enjoy a moment of silence he can provide that for you as well. He’ll quietly rub your back or give you a big bear hug, and after he’s done eating you both will go back to bed. 
If you still have trouble sleeping you can always help him clean out the fridge
Belphie was deep in sleep, but woke up when you stopped snuggling him in his dreams. He woke up only to realize you really did stop snuggling him because of all your twisting and turning. Belphie would like his rest so he’s a bit irritated. But seeing your frustrated scrunched up face is so cute he doesn’t mind waking up to that. He brushes a few strands from your forehead.
You quickly open your eyes to see Belphie. His hair loosely falls in his face. “Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m just having a hard time sleeping.” He pulls you in close and starts playing with the ends of your hair.
If you want him to talk then he’ll have you look up at the stars with him. He’ll explain his favorite constellations to you while holding you hand. You’ll both choose a star for each other and he’ll talk about how you both should name one with Beel.
If you want to talk and have him listen he’ll listen. He makes no promises to staying awake while you talk, but he’ll try his best for you. While you talk he’ll play with your hair or rub your shoulder while holding you close.
If nothing works to help you sleep then he’ll kiss your forehead using his sin to influence you to sleep, “Shh just go to sleep now MC” he coos.
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cyberianpunks · 14 hours ago
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Abandon hope all ye who enter here
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satans-knitwear · 21 hours ago
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Where's that ask that says:
"what colour r ur n*pples?"
"limited edition holographic."
Bc same.
Treat me ~ Tip me
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moemoemammon · 15 hours ago
How quickly do you think Satan would kill me if I held one of his books like this
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beelzeball · 13 hours ago
Hello 👹 may I request how the demon brothers would prefer to kiss their s/o and where? Ty ily
where and how they kiss their s/o
gn! reader
warnings: maybe a little suggestive? nothing major just making out/kissing a lot
a/n: ty for requesting !! this was so fun to write and i was extremely self indulgent i am sorry
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one trillion percent treats you like royalty, he is always kissing the tops of your hands
he isnt into pda much but will kiss your hands anywhere no matter what
i feel like he also enjoys forehead kisses but only in private
if we talking about kisses kisses, he's a very passionate guy so,,, very passionate kisses when you're alone,, grabs the back of your head and pulls you in
will leave a trail of kisses from your neck to your lips
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this is my simp talking but he loves to kiss your cheeks if he's feeling brave in public
an avid nose kisser/booper no i do not take criticism (obv in private, he would die before he booped your nose in front of anyone else)
once again, not much into pda but only bc he's a huge tsundere, in reality he wants to kiss you all the time no matter where y'all are but he gotta hold back <\3
how does he kiss? i'm not even gonna lie he's a very messy kisser and had no idea what he was doing at first but now he's 100% got the hang of it
before he got better he used to bash teeth w you a lot LMAO
overall very soft lips 10/10
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oh boy
okay so he doesn't kiss you much because it's embarrassing, however on the rare occasions that he does, he always goes for the temple
definitely loosens up over the years but at first he refused to kiss you in public bc he was nervous 😭
during your alone time, just at the right moment, he kisses the top of your head if you're gaming together
surprisingly, he kisses way better than mammon 💀
it's the plethora of romance anime he's watched ngl
definitely not GOOD but not too bad either, you have to tell him to slow down because he has no sense of pace
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lord have m
is not afraid to kiss you anywhere and everywhere at all times
i feel like no matter what, he doesn't have a specific place he likes kissing you in public, he always goes for the lips
whether it's a peck or not
not so much a rough kisser as he is a romantic one, he's not as rough/passionate as luci
he's a slow kisser and definitely holds your face in his hands while you kiss
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same as satan but more obnoxious about it
will cry if you don't want to kiss him in public 💀💀
anyways he's always wanting to kiss you everywhere and anywhere
will full on make out w you in the middle of the street
his kisses are very passionate and have lots of unfortunate tongue 🙁
this is not asmo slander i love him <3
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forehead kisses
he is so tall idc how tall you are, he's taller than you end of story
doesn't care about pda in public but also doesn't initiate it
if you need a kiss he will give you a kiss no problem
he's a very proper kisser, idk how else to describe his kisses other than neat
like he isn't sloppy or too rough it's just perfect ilysm<\3
holds your waist when he kisses you and you try to put your arms around his shoulders but you can barely reach
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likes to kiss you on the cheek when he's half awake and you're standing next to eachother
if he's feeling really good when he wakes up he'll lightly kiss both of your eyelids to wake you up
possessive so he will kiss you in front of anyone
extremely sloppy literally does not care bc it's just a kiss and he wants to go back to sleep
if he just really wants kisses he will grab your face (like satans pic) and kiss you a bunch
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harunayuuka2060 · 19 hours ago
Satan: Since you lost on our bet, your forbidden word is "Lucifer" and if you accidentally say it, there will be a punishment.
MC: *breathes in* Okay.
Belphie: Why do you look so nervous?
MC: Nothing...
*At the dinner table*
Lucifer: *sitting across MC*
MC: Lu— I mean, H-Hubby? C-Can you pass me that dish, please?
Lucifer: ...
The rest of the brothers: ...
Mammon: *choking on his food*
Lucifer: *pass MC the dish while giving them a confused look*
Satan and Belphie: *stifling their laughter*
MC: *trying to hide their embarrassment* Thank you...
*The next day*
MC: *has been hiding and avoiding Lucifer*
Levi: MC... How long are you going to hide behind Henry's aquarium?
MC: *gloomy* Till the punishment ends...
Levi: ...
Levi: Is it really that bad?
MC: Yeah...
Levi: What's wrong about liking Lucifer? Well, except that he's a grumpy old man— but that's not really the case. What if he knows? There's nothing to lose.
MC: How should I explain this without sounding pathetic... *awkwardly laughs*
MC: I got traumatized, you know.
MC: I had this crush before and we were really going along well. Not until they knew that I had a crush on them.
MC: My crush shouted angrily at me... Saying that I was trying to take advantage of them... Since then, whenever I had a crush, I just keep it to myself, creating scenarios in my head, them rejecting me.
Levi: ...
MC: So now... *cries* I'm really scared that Lucifer will have the same treatment towards me. Because I really like him. I couldn't afford him hating me...
Levi: *trying to hold back his tears* Are you sure you just have a crush on him? Because the way you called him "hubby" is something else, isn't it?
*someone knocks on the door*
Levi: Who is it?
Lucifer: It's me, Levi. I know MC is there.
MC: I gotta hide—
Levi: No. You stay there. *proceeds to open the door and let Lucifer in*
MC: !!!
Levi: I will give you time to talk. And MC, don't even try to escape. *closes the door*
Lucifer: MC.
MC: Y-Yes...?
Lucifer: I've talked to Satan and Belphie and they had explained to me the bet and the punishment they gave you. *walking towards them*
MC: *is frozen in place*
Lucifer: Have you already said my name?
MC: *nods*
Lucifer: I see. Those two gave me the right to punish you.
MC: *shutting their eyes off*
*then they feel something soft on their lips*
MC: *slowly opens their eyes and sees Lucifer up close with his eyes closed too*
Lucifer: *smiles* You had me confused this entire time.
MC: H-Huh?
Lucifer: *wiping their tear-stained face with his thumb* How could you hide this very important thing to me?
Lucifer: *kissing their forehead* If I had only learned it before, I would have married you in a heartbeat.
MC: Luci—
Lucifer: Shh... My name is Hubby now. *sliding a ring on their left ring finger*
Lucifer: *kisses the top of their hands* Let's start dating for a few weeks and then get married.
MC: But why...? I don't understand...
Lucifer: *hugs them* You might not be aware...
Lucifer: But I have fallen for you deeply, so deep that I cannot escape.
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certified-sloth · 16 hours ago
Child MC who was adopted into an emotionally abusing famity? The brothers and possibly dateables?
Oh I got a lot to say about this lol
!!warning! May contain sensitive content, please read at your own risk!!
A child? This wasn't supposed to happ-
Feels a tug on his sleeve and looks down to see you flinch slightly at his stare
It was understandable that you would be scared in this situation
Then he notices a glint in your eyes
He picks you up and examines you
"Is something the matter?" He asked
You shake your head and smiled a little
"My family told me anything I feel don't matter."
He frowns at this and assures you your feelings do matter
He's having a hard time comforting a single child
Please bear with him
You know how he complains about having to watch over you?
He doesn't even notice how you're close to tears with him calling you a weak human
And Lucifer has to scold him for it
"That is a child, Mammon. Be careful with your words."
"But they're we-"
"Do not make me repeat myself."
You shake your head and assured that it's ok
You were used to it after all
This caused the 2nd-born to ask you how you were used to it
It was normal since you got adopted?
No, this time he tries his best not to talk you down and spoils you if he can
He's the guy who talks people down to try to make himself feel better
Then he realizes how you look upset whenever he calls you normie
For a kid, he would've expected you to not understand it
"Why do you look like that?"
"Normie is like being boring right? That's what my foster parents always call me..."
"What? No, I didn't mean it like that..."
Tries to comfort you and tell you that your parents are horrible
Levi is so gonna summon Lotan on your 'family'
Would tell you that your family could yeet themselves to the other side of existence
If not, he'll do it himself
Already noticed the look in your eye the moment you arrived
Observes your behavior quietly
When some of his brothers unintentionally hurt you with their cruel words...
Would go down on one knee and comfort you
"Don't mind them, they don't mean it."
"B-but what if they do..? The looks they give me..."
He frowns and pats your head
He promised you that you it won't happen again
He's not sure why, but he feels heavily attached to you
So he made sure to pay a visit to your 'family' to have a simple 'talk'
Finds out how you react to harsh words through Satan
Eventually steps up to get angry for you
"Please don't take pity on me."
"How could you say that? They-"
"Big sister said I couldn't do anything right but have others pity me to fix my problems."
Oh this just makes his blood boil
He doesn't care if his complexion is getting damaged from it
You are a literal child! You shouldn't be treated like that
Always tells you that he's not taking pity on you
He just wants what's best for you
He spoils you with both affection and many other things because you deserve it
He may be slow to notice
But he sees how timid you are
And it reminded him of how Belphie was when younget
Slowly, he realizes your low self-esteem
How you flinch if one of his brothers were about to throw a snappy remark at each other
And when that happens, he would always take you away from there
When you open up to him about your family
He tells you that's not how family are supposed to treat you
Now that he sees it... not only were you treated poorly
But you ended up being burdened to go to literal hell
Everyday, he shares his food with you, reassurance and gives you daily hugs, to boost your self-esteem
He's not fond of children because he thinks they're annoying
But the way you look as if you're waiting for an insult...
It concerns him
When both of you get closer, and you tell him about your foster family
Let's say he holds contempt for that so called family of yours
He can't empathize with you
But this is another reason why he hates humans
They take a child under their care and selfishly harm them when it's not their fault
"Why don't you take a nap? I have a surprise for you when you wake up."
"Is that ok..? They call me useless and lazy for resting."
That didn't sit right with Belphie, so he tries to comfort which come off completely useless
"Its fine, I'm useless too, if they complain about it, go and show them you don't care cause they're useless with their responsibility."
Hm? Barbatos, why does this child look scared?
Gets told of your background, as well as your foster family this simply won't do
How could they treat you like that?
He goes out of his way to neglect his work to check on you
Barbatos would sometimes let him slip too
And when he gives you something, you always ask carefully if you could have it
"Of course you can! You have to enjoy your childhood!"
"But it's going to be useless when I grow up, I wouldn't be able to provide for my future family like this..."
Now what kind of teaching is that?
He tells you that you can enjoy your childhood
And worry about that when you grow a bit more older
Is aware of your background
"My family are probably happy..."
"Why is that?"
"They have one less person to feed in the house now."
...they're horrible
Every now and then, he would bake for you, not even Diavolo would be able to taste
Because it was all for you
Tells you that they shouldn't matter to you
If that's their treatment then show them they mean nothing to you
"But won't that make me look ungrateful? They took me in..."
"To throw their own issues on a child that doesn't know better? No. Don't even thank them for taking you in."
When you first visited purgatory hall, he was ready to spoil you
He's been watching over you so he's aware that you aren't treated right
When he places a slice of cake and a glass of milk for you
You consumed it enough for the plate to look clean
Along with chugging the milk carefully to not spill anything
He smiles and pats your head, "you should eat a lot to grow healthy."
Then he notices you fixing your plate and glass, ready to take it to the sink
"Ah, MC, i'll do it. And... why were you careful to not make a mess?"
"...they said I'm good-for-nothing for eating messily."
He tells you it's ok to eat without being careful
As for your family, he's had enough
May father not forgive him...
But he's not going to stand by and watch you carry your family's expectation
...he's taking you in
He doesn't care if he's not fond of kids, he's going to treat you with absolute care
Would request Diavolo to allow him to take custody of you
He'll deal with your foster family after everything is finished
When you were passing your grades that was fit for a senior, he was asking you about it
But you hesitantly handed him your papers
"I'm sorry... I tried my best, i'll make up for it the next semeste-"
You flinch, causing him to frown.
Were you pressured to do better than this?
He calmly tells you there's nothing wrong
He doesn't have high expectations of you so don't be too on edge
You should enjoy your childhood while you still can
And he will make sure of that
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harunayuuka2060 · 4 hours ago
MC: So, are you a top or a bottom?
Solomon: *smirking seductively at them* Take a guess.
MC: Hmm... I guess you're good on the floor.
Solomon: Wait. What?
Satan: They're talking about the bunk beds.
Solomon: ...
Solomon: You're not making me sleep on the floor.
MC: Too bad. *leaves the room*
Satan: Don't worry. I can give you an extra blanket so you won't be cold.
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redacted-headcannons · 19 hours ago
Nothing going on in my brain, just imagining how:
Holding Lucifer's hand feels similar to holding a warm cup of tea on a cool, misty morning
Mammon's sapphire eyes gleam when he asks you to talk on the balcony on a school night
Despite being the most guarded, Leviathan has no issue letting you see him as he is, scales and all
Satan's ears perked up when you mention your fright during one of the brothers' fights and he immediately disengaged to tend to you
Asmodeus whispers about how Father must have meticulously painted you, planting a soft kiss on your forehead
Beelzebub's intense amethyst eyes peer over the kitchen but the only thing he ever craves is you
Belphegor's hair is his main source if insecurity as it stems from his vitiligo but in a calm voice, you assure him it's beautiful
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I have had this song stuck in my head for DAYS and I think about the Brothers everytime I hear it... so here is some little song blurbs.
I Don't Miss You at All
Inspiration ~ I Don't Miss You at All by FINNEAS
Find the full Lyrics Here.
Brothers Masterlist | Dateables Masterlist
💙 Lucifer
But I think our song is comin' on
And now I wanna crash the car
But I won't
Make that mistake again and fall
Lucifer sits in his office after another long day listening to his favorite record with a cup of Demonus in his hand. He swirls the liquid as the song he was listening to comes to an end. Slowly the next one begins. He closes his eyes and takes in the harmonic sound. Opening his eyes, he realizes why this song is so important to him.
Lucifer guided the human in the waltz for what felt like the hundredth time.
"Can we please have one more dance, Lucifer?"
He sighs staring at their big pleading eyes. It almost makes him want to say yes, "I have work, MC. Maybe after."
They rush to him grabbing his sleeve before quietly speaking, "Please?"
His eyes prick with hot tears at the memory. Without a thought he stands up, making his way over to the machine before snapping the record in half.
Upon realization of his actions, Lucifer collapses. Hot tears streaming down his face at what he has lost.
💛 Mammon
I don't get distracted by your smile
And miss the green lights drivin' home
No sign of stoppin'
The house isn't far
Mammon had gone out driving to blow off some steam after Lucifer threatened him. He was going pretty fast until he saw the light turn yellow and began to stop.
As he stopped at the red light, he his attention to the passenger seat out of habit expecting to find an awaiting MC.
"How about we play a game. At every red light, I ask you a question and you have to answer." MC smiled at him as the car slowed to a stop.
He turned his gaze to them, gently putting his hand on the side of their seat, "Sure, ask away."
A small smile crossed his face as he watched them think of a question.
"What was your favorite birthday and why?" MC turned to him with a smile as they awaited his answer.
"Hmm," Mammon thought hard before finally remembering, "Probably my 1,500th. We were still in the Celestial Realm at the time and all the angels sang happy birthday to me. It was really nice." A blush filled his face at the thought of all that attention.
MC gently touched his arm pulling him out of his thoughts, "It sounds amazing."
Mammon is pulled out of his memory by incessant honking behind him. With a quick glance he sees that about ten cars have gotten in line behind him.
He looks up at the light and sees it's green. He puts his foot on the gas, speeding through red lights, going as fast as he can back to the House of Lamentations as hot tears fly off his face in the cold wind.
🧡 Leviathan
But I won't
Break down at 2 AM and call
'Cause I don't
Miss you at all
Levi stares at the computer screen at it flashes the words "Two Player" at him.
His brain slowly rakes through all his friends u til he glances over at his D.D.D.
Levi looks down at his phone to see a message from MC.
MC: I can't finish this mission unless I have a player two... are you busy?
Levi smiles. Before sending his own response.
Levi: Are you sure it isn't just to use me for my levels?
MC responds with a shocked reaction before sending another message.
MC: Of course not! If I am being honest, I can't sleep and I wanted a distraction.
Another smile spreads across his face at the thought of MC coming to him for help over his brothers.
Levi: My door is open, but you better know the password!
Levi begins to reach for his phone, but hesitates before pulling his hand away.
His hand slowly travels back to his controller as he exits out of the game with tears in his eyes.
💚 Satan
All but forgotten
About those eyes
The shade of green that if he'd seen
Would make F. Scott Fitzgerald cry
Satan splashes water on his faces quickly before looking up into the mirror. The demon stares back at himself before he meets his striking green eyes and freezing.
"Satan, your eyes are so vibrant." He chuckles at the human's comment as they stand behind him in the mirror.
His eyes trail their body before focusing on their eyes in the mirror.
"Well I think yours are just as striking." He smirks at them as he watches them blush and chuckle.
"Sure. But mine aren't as amazing as yours. I could see authors writing using thousands of words to describe just how beautiful they are." Their eyes are dreamy as they stare deep into his eyes.
Satan's face contorts into one of frustration and anger as he stares into his own green irises.
His hand moves without warning as it balls into a fist and moves towards the mirror with all his force. A scream emerges from his throat as well as his knuckles make contact with the reflective glass causing it to shatter.
He stares again at the now broken mirror, a fraction of its former self. In one swift movement, he washes his now cut hands of blood before pushing his hair back and leaving the mess behind him as his eyes begin to sting.
💖 Asmodeus
'Cause, no, I can't
Recall your scent
Jasmine, tuberose, and lily
Or your silly French accent
Asmo was taking inventory of his perfumes and colognes as he does every month. As he makes his way through each scent he comes across one that is all too familiar to him.
"Asmo! This one smells amazing! How did you know I love jasmine, lily and tuberose?" MC gently held the glass bottle in their hand as they sprayed it on their wrists again.
"I have my ways. I even bought one for myself so when people on the street see us, they know we are together." Asmo smiled as he stared at them happily gazing at the bottle.
"I really do love it Asmo. Thank you." Their eyes sparkled with adoration as they looked deeply into his.
Asmo narrows his eyes at the bottle before spraying it on his wrists and putting it away.
He walks away with a scowl on his face, giving up his previous need to inventory his scents. But for the rest of his night, he smells his wrists and let's out a small sob after.
❤ Beelzebub
And I barely still remember
Who's in the pictures on my wall...
...And it feels so good
Eating alone
Beel pulls out his instant Ramen from the microwave. Carefully he makes his way to the table with the delicacy in his hands.
He begins to prepare to eat as the intoxicating aroma hits his nostrils and sends him deep into a memory.
MC carried their own bowl of Ramen up to their room as Beel followed slowly behind them, "Come on Beel I want to show you my new photos while we eat!"
When the two finally get to MC's room the sit on the floor. Beel begins to slurp his noodles as MC grabs photos and thrusts them into Beel's face.
"Don't they look great?" Their voice was filled with excitement as Beel stared at himself during a Fangol game.
He slowly nods as he takes a sip of the broth.
"I am glad you like it. I want to take pictures of all seven of you every week and then put them on my wall."
He looked up to see past pictures as he began to hear them slurp next to him.
Beel takes a quickly look around the room only to find himself alone before he looks down at his Ramen. He sighs.
He still digs in with just as much fervor, bit it tastes saltier than he remembers as his cascading tears mix with the noodles.
💜 Belphegor
And I'm sleepin' fine
I don't mean to boast
But I only dream about you
Once or twice a night at most
Belphie squeezes the warm mass in his arm before opening his eyes and seeing MC's back. He smiles at the human in his arm.
"Is my little human still sleepy?" His voice is hoarse from the lack of use.
MC giggles as they roll over and stare him in the eyes, "Nope!" After they finished speaking, MC bolts from his arms with a smile on their face.
Belphie lurches awake with a start. Frantically he looks around the dark attic for the figure he just saw in his dream before he starts patting the bed.
"MC!? MC!?"
After a minute or so of frantic searching, he is confident he is alone.
Tears prick the corners of his eyes and he turns his gaze to the ceiling.
Loud screams fill the room as Belphie begins to pound the bed with his fists. And just as fast as it began, it stops. Belphie falls back onto the plush pillows and returns to his slumber.
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gavin-plz-call-me · 15 hours ago
Do the obey me boys wash their asses?
I-uhh don't have an explanation for this, I just thought it was a fucking hilarious idea.
0-10 skid marks scale, with 0 being a pristine, clean ass and 10 being this pair of brown underwear used to be white...
Enjoy I guess...
Lucifer: Yes
His pride does not allow him to walk around with an unwashed ass.
Conversely, his pride doesn't enjoy the act of washing his ass.
Imagine if someone walked in on him, Lucifer, Avatar of pride, hand in his ass crack making sure it's clean.
Would be mortified if anyone, especially Diavolo, walked in on him in the act.
2/10 skid marks
Mammon: No
I'm sorry Mammon stans, but this man has an unwashed ass.
Just doesn't think about it when he's showering, he washes his hair and his arms probably, everything else is up to the water falling on it.
Probably one of those guys who says washing your ass is gay, will even say it if he's dating a guy.
9/10 skid marks
Levi: Yes
Levi loves the water, being a water snake demon or whatever tf he is, so when he does shower/bathe he's finding every reason to stay in there for a bit longer, and thoroughly washing his ass gives him a bit more time in the warm water.
Emphasis on When he showers.
This boy might love water, but he also has horrible time management skills, so he doesn't shower often.
I mean he's gotta play that new game that just came out, dust his ruri-chan figures, and watch I'm madly in love with my classmate, but she's a germaphobe so I have to learn to properly wash my ass before I ask her out because that'll definitely be a deal-breaker for her, an anime that was highly recommended to him, he doesn't have time to shower.
7/10 skid marks
Satan: Yes
Unlike Lucifer, it's not Satan's pride that compels him to wash his ass, it's the fact that not washing your ass isn't healthy.
He's read about numerous infections caused by unwashed asses and he's not about to contract one of those.
If he somehow walked in on Lucifer washing his ass, however, he'd relentlessly make fun of him for it.
Same if he somehow found a skid mark on Lucifer's underwear, so it's a lose-lose situation for poor old Luci.
1/10 skid marks
Asmo: Yes
Do I even need to explain this one?
Of course, he washing his ass every day, very thoroughly I might add.
He's the avatar of lust, former jewel of the heavens, he has to look absolutely perfect.
Plus, you never know when someone wanting to absolutely fuck him into oblivion, spend the day with him will show up.
0/10 skid marks
Beel: Yes
I was compelled to say no at first, but I feel like Beel doesn't really have a choice in the matter.
I mean, let's be honest with ourselves, with the amount Beel eats, he probably shits like a maniac.
If he didn't wash his ass, he'd be a Petri dish for ass-infections.
That being said, he's not very good at it.
6/10 skid marks
Belphie: No
Oh boy, does this guy have a horribly dirty ass.
He probably showers, what, once a month.
And when he does shower, he's in and out, just wanting to go back to bed.
At least Mammon showers frequently.
10/10 skid marks
Diavolo: Yes
Only because Barbatos nags him about it.
He's kinda a man-child at heart, so he also doesn't really think about it unless constantly reminded.
Every once in a while, Barbatos will come up to him when he's forgotten to do it, Milord, what have I said about proper hygiene?
Diavolo knows Barbatos can see into the future, but he only uses that ability when Diavolo requests it of him, so how the hell does he know?
He does your laundry, Dia, baby, of course he knows.
4/10 skid marks
Barbatos: Yes
As Diavolo's butler, Barbatos must maintain a pristine appearance.
That includes his ass, even if no one is going to see it I can change that Barb 😏
Is skilled in ass cleaning, like he's skilled in everything else.
0/10 skid marks
Solomon: Technically
He doesn't physically wash his ass, he created a spell to do that for him.
The spell isn't very good, though. You'd think for a master sorcerer, he'd be able to perfect the spell, but no spell can supplement good old elbow grease when it comes to washing your ass.
4/10 skid marks
Simeon: Yes
Having an unwashed ass is a sin, so, naturally, he washes his ass every day.
May occasionally miss a spot or two, but he's overall his ass is clean.
1/10 skid marks
Luke: Yes
He tries, but he's barely potty-trained yet, so don't hold him accountable for it.
He'll get better as he grows.
He's trying his best/10 skid marks
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demonic-silver-and-gold · 10 hours ago
Okay, random idea that popped into my head:
What if days in the Devildom are much longer than in the human world? There’s no real in game reason for it, but what if they were? And what if that’s not taken into consideration with the exchange program seeing as how adaptable humans are? And so when the MC arrives and it’s the first day of classes for them they feel so exhausted because their body isn’t used to being awake that amount of time that they end up falling asleep in class at the time their circadian rhythm (internal clock) knocks them out.
Just a though, but I might just make it a headcanon and/or oneshot.
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you-said-yes · 16 hours ago
gang what if the next teaser is a video made by the hellfire club trying to get people to join the club and it's just eddie awkwardly narrating (with endearingly clumsy production from the av club's president mike wheeler and treasurer/secretary dustin henderson) and listing the pros of playing dnd like creativity and camaraderie and debunking all the satanist accusations while guns n roses plays in the background and at the end they all say in unison "join us at our next meeting on [season 4 release date]"
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stupidmamm0n · 18 hours ago
Lucifer: for the last time, the best cop movies, in order: Training Day, Lethal Weapon, and Fargo. End of discussion.
Mammon: wrong. Die Hard is the best cop movie of all time. One cop heroically saving the day while everyone else stands around and watches. It's the story of my life.
Levi: I like Turner & Hooch. Tom Hanks, reluctant friendship with a dog. That hits me where I live.
Satan: no. RoboCop. It's got everything I like: gratuitous violence.
Mammon: oh, I thought you were listing things.
Satan: I was. I'm done.
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sindulgence66 · 11 hours ago
Because my imagination is fucked up and wild, can I request headcannons of the Brothers reacting to an MC that’s just not phased by death since they died multiple times before (let’s say MC is cursed with some immortality or regeneration ability and they just go about their lives like normal no matter how gruesome their death was)?
Brothers:*threatening them or about to kill MC*
MC:*just blankly staring at them* I’ve accidentally killed myself better than that 😐
Demon:*cuts them in half*
MC:*laughs* I forgot that my intestines looked like spaghetti 🤣
MC is not phased by death
Hey guys, I’m really sorry for the delay of this. I wanted to write it as fast as I could, but I got writer’s block and when I finally felt like writing again, I got covid symptoms and am now quarantined in my bedroom. I apologize:(
Yeah, this demon is definitely pissed off at the idea of not being able to make you fear him.
If he threathens you? You just rub it off as if nothing had happened
This definitely is a direct hit to his pride
At the start? He really would've killed you if it wasn't for Diavolo
But now?
Oh dear, even if he still gets angry about it he worries about you too
You can't just go around telling demons to go ahead and kill you because you can't really die, MC
Excuse you????
What do you mean you're immortal??? You're supposed to be a human???
He really freaks out about it at first, may Lord Diavolo help him
However, he probably finds a way to gain money from it sooner or later
Still, he doesn't want you to be harmed, so even if he knows you can’t die, he will protect you
This man
This man right here
He really thinks you’re just a normie who’s making things up
Yes, he makes The Noise
Now considers you as a cool anime/videogame protagonist
But don’t do it too much in front of him, please
His heart is weak
Another one that won’t believe it until he sees it
Though, when he does and when he gets used to it…
Yes, you are going to be used as a prop to whatever the anti-Lucifer league wants to do
He will still keep you away from danger when he’s with you
You know…
Just in case
Doesn’t believe you, and doesn’t want to believe it either
PLEASE don’t do anything in front of this man
If Levi has a weak heart, Asmodeus is ten times worse
Just, please keep the gruesome scenes away from him
He is another one that won’t let anything happen to you
Watching you popping your bones back together after falling from a building is something he does not want to see in his entire life.
“Cool, I guess”
Yes, he doesn’t quite register it until he sees it live
And oh boy
He really becomes EXTRA protective of you, just because he ain’t wanting you to keep doing that on purpose
He loves you. Okay?
Please stop being so reckless, he likes you in one piece.
Him threatening you with little to no result?? A punch to the gut
“I'm going to tear your thorax open”
“Eh, I've had that happen before.”
You what
Honestly it bothered him so much at first
As you two grew closer he kind of forgets about it
Honestly, the worst part of the situation was at the start of your relationship
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