#not saying that fic was abusive because I quit before they really got started

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Changes

What do you do when the person you once were becomes the person you miss being the most?

Tags/Warnings: Aged up!Jungkook, Younger!Reader, Age Gap (9 years, JK is mentioned to be 34/35), Angst, Mature romance, Jungkook's ex wife, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of alcohol abuse, fluff, flirty Jungkook, no smut in this I'm sorry pls still read it :( there's some tension tho!!

Length: 6.5k words

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"Thanks for picking him up." Taehyung sighs, his son happily in the living room, taking a nap from school as he tucks himself in on the couch while his favorite show plays on the TV.

"I would've asked her, you know, but I feel like I'm relying too much on her again." The young father sighs. "I'm basically treating her the same as I did years ago, just without the pay."

"I heard about that." Jungkook says, drinking his coffee at the kitchen table where he sits across Taehyung. "She used to nanny while you lived separately from your wife, I think it was." He hums, setting his cup down. Jungkook isn't on bad terms with Taehyung's wife- but he tends to not say her name, because he honestly harbors quite a bit of distaste towards the woman who refuses to properly take care of her own child.

"Well don't you seem to know a bit about her now." Taehyung squints his eyes in suspicion. "What happened to 'she's too young for me anyways' huh?" He teases, and Jungkook sighs.

"Well, things.. happened. And we talked." He shrugs. "We're not.. really a couple, but we agreed to spend time with one another." He explains.

"So you're friends with benefits?" He wonders, drinking his tea while Jungkook leans back.

"No." He shakes his head, even though deep down, it does kind of feel like that to him, now that he thinks about it a bit more. "It's.. a bit more complicated than that. We're simply talking, seeing where it goes." He says.

"Hmhm." Tae nods. "Just don't break her heart. I still got basically nightmares from her last relationship." He mumbles a bit angrily to himself, clearly a bit irritated even just by the thought of it.

"I.. wondered what happened." Jungkook says. "Dae said he was a drinker?" He wonders, and Taehyung nods.

"Drinker, druggie, abusive asshole." He huffs, crossing his arms. "It's the main reason she moved away when Daehyun was younger. She wanted to protect him- make sure he won't get hurt."

"Was he violent?" Jungkook wants to know, because honestly, he has a hunch that that might've been the case. Taehyung seems on edge now, clearly torn between probably saying the truth, and respecting your privacy. "I was intending to ask her anyways. But she seems like the type to downplay her problems in order to make things seem less serious, so I thought you might be more honest." He adds.

"Yeah, she is like that." Tae agrees softly. "I'm not too sure what exactly went down. But I do know that she.. distanced herself out of fear that Daehyun might get hurt." He tells his friend. "Greg started to pick her up every time she'd babysit Daehyun at my house, even after I told him I didn't like that. He still did, still argued, turned up drunk multiple times at my doorstep." The young father remembers. "I kept her with me, of course. I'd never let her drive home with that alcoholic- but I guess something must've happened because she just.. suddenly cut contact." He shrugs. "Sent me a text, changed her number, moved out her old apartment."

"When did she come back?" Jungkook wonders.

"According to Yoongi, a few weeks before the aftershow party." Taehyung responds.

"So that's why you didn't recognize her?" He figures, and Tae nods.

"She changed a lot. Not just visually. She's.." His eyes lower to the cup in his hand. "..a lot more quiet. Cautious. Jumpy." He informs his friend. "And at the same time, she seems to mask a lot of it- get's irritated easily. She's trying to be who she was, but it's obvious that something changed, and whenever someone notices, she becomes defensive."

Jungkook doesn't really know what to think. Looking at Daehyun on the couch, he can absolutely understand your standpoint back then to get away from Taehyung's family in order to protect them- but that means there must have been at least some form of fear against your former partner to make you believe that he could potentially be a danger to the young boy and his father. It could also just be jealousy, of course- but Taehyung is right. You are a little odd sometimes.

And he doesn't know if he wants to know exactly why, or if he wants to let sleeping dogs rest.

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Jungkook leans back in his office chair, headache already almost too unbearable to him, especially considering the woman who's making her way up in the giant corporate building to see him.

She wants money again, he knows it. Evelyn only ever visits him if there's something she wants, after all.

"One might argue they'd know me by now." Evelyn huffs as she enters the office, hair a bit wet as she throws her coat over the chair in front of his desk, before she sits down. "How're you doing?" She wonders, and Jungkook doesn't look away from his laptop's screen whatsoever, still looking through his e-mails. He doesn't have to put too many thoughts into this conversation after all- she's most likely just here to leech off of him again.

"Cut it." He simply says. "What do you want?" He asks, phone on his desk vibrating and chiming with a new notification.

'I can just drop something off for you? I just got off work myself, so it's no hassle.' your message reads, an answer to a former rant from him about his headache, and the fact that he's 'locked in like a dog' in his office and without any proper food ever since this morning. It makes him softly smile a little, the fact that you want to bring him something to eat even though you're probably exhausted from your shift as well is something he's not used to. And he didn't even have to ask for it.

'Only if it's really not an issue for you' his answer reads, and you send a thumbs-up emoji as an answer, before you finish typing your proper answer.

'DW, is anything okay or do you want something specific?' you question, and he immediately types a response.

'Just whatever, really. Nothing too spicy though, please.' he offers, when a hand knocks on the table in front of him, the woman in his office dragging him back into reality with force. He signs, locks his phone before he puts it down, opening a chat with the front desk downstairs to let them know to bring you up when you arrive.

"You know, this was always the issue, Jungkook." Evelyn whines, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed. "You're so consumed by your work, it's crazy." She shakes her head.

"That wasn't work, actually." He bites back with a monotone voice, not really offering her any emotion whatsoever- there's nothing left in him anymore he could offer anyways. She took it all, sucked it out of him like an insect, and now she's constantly upset that he's empty inside.

"Anyways, I got this letter recently stating that there was an issue with the bank transfer?" She says, giving him the letter to read- which he does, flying over it just to remember why that bank transfer did not go through. "I told them that they'll get their money by friday." She hums, leaning her face on her palm while he gives her the letter back.

"What do I have to do with it then?" He asks, and she sits upright again, tilting her head a bit in irritation. "You said they'll get their money by friday. Good. Why are you here then?" He asks, arms crossed, office chair squeaking a bit as he leans back into it.

"Well, it's your bank account!" She laughs a bit unsure. "I don't even know why there was apparently not a sufficient balance on it." She argues.

"I resigned the automatic transfer rights." Jungkook tells her, face not moving an inch as he breaks the news. "The letter doesn't mention an insufficient balance at all, Evelyn. It states that there's no bank account set for the automated transfer option at all." He informs her.

"What the fuck Jungkook?!" She barks. "And you didn't even tell me?!" She yells, standing up to slap her hands on his desk. "You can't just make these changes and not inform me about it! Do you know how expensive that was?!" She accuses, and he shrugs, noticing something move behind her, milky glass front of his office hiding what's going on inside and outside, only letting shadows be seen if someone's close enough. "I'll text you the invoice later, and you better fucking pay, you asshole!" She says, when she whips her head around, someone opening the glass door.

"Thanks." You tell the office lady having let you in, before your eyes widen, door closing behind you and instantly drowning out all noise except the very slight sound of the fan in the corner of the room.

"Ah, there you are." Jungkook sighs, suddenly feeling a lot lighter as he looks at you. "Come here- is it still raining a lot?" He wonders easily, taking the white plastic bag from you to set it on his table, before giving you a small hug to greet you. "I think that was all you wanted, wasn't it?" He asks Evelyn, who hasn't even gotten up from her seat, instead clearly studying you now.

"Actually, no." She tells him. "And it's kind of private, so it would be real nice if your assistant would leave." She tells you with a smile that reminds you of a snarling dog.

"Then come back a different day." Jungkook answers her however, offering to take your coat from you to hang next to his own on the wall close to the large windows. "Right now I'm really not in the mood for whatever it might be. Especially not with my girlfriend in the room." He bluntly says, and something seems to flash over her face at the mention of your alleged role in his life.

She slowly stands up to take her coat from the back of the chair, movements a lot slower now, a glare sent into your direction. "Don't get your hopes up, sweetheart." Evelyn tells you, slipping into the sleeves of her coat. "His first love will always stay his job." She almost threatens, before she takes her purse and leaves through the door, leaving a confused you, and a clearly exhausted Jungkook behind.

"Please, sit down." He offers, and you do so, watching how he leans back in his chair, hands running over his face before he sits up again. "I'm sorry. That timing couldn't have been worse." He sighs.

"Ah, here. Do you have water here?" You wonder, and he nods, pointing towards a water dispenser in the room. "Oh, fancy." You laugh, walking up to fill a cup to put in front of him. "I take them myself, they usually help really quickly. Not trying to murder you." You tease, and he chuckles, taking the medication and the cup for himself.

"Thank you, really." He sighs out before taking the pill, washing it down with half of the cup's contents before he closes his eyes for a moment. "God I hate her so much." He suddenly breaks out laughing, before he shakes his head, digging through what you've bought for him.

"I assume that was your ex wife?" You wonder, and he nods.

"I'm also really sorry for telling her you're my girlfriend when we haven't even talked about that yet." He tells you a bit.. shyly almost, while you pull the bag closer to take something out for yourself.

"It's fine." You shrug. "Got a nice ring to it, you know?" You joke, and he smiles, starting to eat.

It's quiet, but not oddly so. He enjoys this a lot, this company without any pressure, no eerie sense of something being about to happen. You're clearly here because you want to be, there's nothing you want from him, nothing you need, nothing you could gain from this. It's just what it is, nothing else, nothing to red between the lines.

"You can ask why she was here, by the way." He offers you, wiping his mouth with a tissue.

"I don't have to know." You say, however. "It's got nothing to do with me- right?" You ask, and he nods. "Then it's none of my business. You can rant to me about it, sure, but I can't really give you any opinions on it since I don't really know her, or the situation around you and her." You tell him.

Jungkook watches you for a moment, before he nods. "You're right." He agrees, letting go of the topic entirely for now. He know it's only fair to talk to you about it at some point- but right now is not the time for that, he decides. "Do you want me to drive you home later? I really only have to answer this one E-mail and then I can clock out." He tells you between bites, wiping his fingers before he taps away on his keyboard.

"If it's not a bother, sure." You shrug. "You said you got the weekend off, right?" You ask him, and he nods a bit absentmindedly. "Then how about you stay over?" You ask, and that definitely seems to catch his attention.

"Stay over?" He asks, just to make sure he heard it correctly, and you nod.

"Yeah." You nod. "It's, you know, what boyfriends do with their girlfriends." You tease, making him roll his eyes. "We could cook something, watch a movie. Oh, and one of the lightbulbs in my kitchen broke, so maybe you could fix that for me?" You chirp, and he suddenly smiles brightly to himself, clicking something on his laptop before he shuts it down. "What's that grin for, mister?" You ask, and he just shakes his head.

"Nothing, really." He tells you. "I'm just really happy." He confesses, and you smile the same, now a bit shy.

"Well, what's your answer then?" You wonder, watching him pack the leftovers back into the bag, before he walks to get both his and your jackets, helping you into yours.

"My answer is yes." He says, voice very close to your ear as he leans over your shoulder from behind you, hands on your arms for a second. "I'd love to stay over and fix that lightbulb too, of course.-"

"Since I heard that's what boyfriends do with their girlfriends."

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"There we go." He says, slowly climbing down the plastic kitchen chair you're holding onto just in case. "Anything else while I'm here?" He genuinely asks, and you shake your head, moving the chair back to the small kitchen table.

"No, that was all. Thank you, really." You say, before you move to open the fridge, taking out some things while he stands around with his hands in his pockets. Your apartment is pretty small- living in it together with you would most likely prove to be way too much, but he still thinks it's better than his own, in terms of.. quality.

His own home feels empty. There's nothing in it, it's way too big for a single person, and the view from so high up above the clouds has long lost it's charm to him.

He sits down at the kitchen table, leaning on it a little as he watches you wash some vegetables before you grab a cutting board and a knife. "Daehyun said you're a little lonely without your dog." He says, and you giggle a little, smiling to yourself. "Have you considered getting another one?" He wonders, but you just shrug.

"I'm too busy at the moment." You deny. "I used to bring him to work with me, since he was a very quiet and calm dog, which fit perfect into our office." You remember. "He'd always sleep under my desk, right on my feet. Always kept them warm." You softly say, and he notices that he might've struck a still hurtful topic if only from the sound of your voice becoming somewhat tighter.

"I can imagine. I always wanted a dog too-" He sighs, leaning back. "But.. Evelyn, the woman you saw today, she doesn't like them. So it was out of the question."

"Really?" You wonder, cutting up the vegetables. "I mean, I guess, if both of you were really busy then it probably was for the best." You hum, tension leaving you again. "Gotta look at the bigger picture."

"Yeah, maybe it was for the best." He agrees. To be honest, Evelyn would've probably fought over the dog as well, just like she did over the apartment, and other more petty things like fucking furniture. She wanted to ruin him, if financially then emotionally, and somehow, she somewhat did.

It's quiet again, when you, surprisingly to him, cut into a topic he did not expect.

"His name was Greg." You say, filling a small pot with water before you place it on the stove, turning it on. "You probably talked about him with Taehyung."

"I did." He admits. "But there's not much I know." He offers. "And like you said about my situation, I don't have to know about things that don't concern me. However-" He begins, getting up to now stand closer, find your gaze that's turned downwards onto the cutting board. "-I don't want to accidentally do something that might make you uncomfortable due to past experiences." He says.

"What a tactful way to ask me if I've got any trauma from that guy." You chuckle, moving to put the cut up vegetables in a bowl before you continue the preparations for dinner.

"I'm trying to be gentle here." He attempts to lighten up the mood, and you indeed smile at that.

"And I'm very thankful for that." You offer him, before you sigh, setting down the knife. "I don't.. think we're at a point where I should be dumping all of what happened onto you." You inform him, and he nods, accepting that. "I don't like yelling. If I feel uncomfortable, I'll probably try and get myself out of a situation by any means necessary-" you admit, turning a little to look at him. "-and that will probably include some nasty words thrown your way, if that get's you away from me." You tell him. "And I don't like alcohol. Even if you hand me full on medical evidence that you can't even get drunk, the moment I smell it- I just can't trust you." You say, and he nods.

"Alright, I respect that." He nods.

"I'll also get pretty clingy over time." You add on, making him nod. "And I can be annoying. I'll text you a lot." You continue, and a small smile sneaks itself onto his lips as he shrugs, crossing his arms. "The moment you invite me into your home I'll practically steal half of your closet contents-"

"Is that what he told you?" He wonders, and you grow quiet, eyes avoiding him. "I'm obsessed with my work." He begins his own rant, standing up to walk closer to you. "I never have time for anything else. I'm boring. Sometimes rude, and immature. I'm a perfectionist, but I'm also lazy. I snore, and I work out too much to the point where I'm sweating buckets. I'm a little messy." He tells you, hugging you from behind, though not very intimately- giving you a clear way out if you so want to.

"…is that what she told you?" You answer, and he smiles.

"Let's just agree on getting to know each other just the way we are, not the way someone else described us in the past." He offers, and you nod.

"Alright." You hum, before you push him a little playfully. "Now go and let me cook in here, boyfriend." You tease, making him grin impishly, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he does not walk away from behind you, hands now flat on your ass. "Hey!"

"What? I'm out of your way like this." He tells you almost innocently, hands moving to hold your waist now.

"Sit down there and let me cook!" You laugh.

"But we wanted to cook together, no?" He wonders. "Like.. boyfriend and girlfriend." He leans his chin on your shoulder.

"Well, boyfriends let their girlfriends cook in peace." You threaten, making him chuckle as his fingers squeeze your hips a bit.

"Not if their girlfriend is this attractive." He purrs, making you roll your eyes.

"Jungkook…" You wonder, suddenly way more serious, making his stand up straight again so you can face him. "Is.. that what we are now?" You ask, and his lips part for a second, unsure of his own answer. "I mean, it's fine if we're just playing around. Just.. I'm scared that we might end up in some.. unnecessary drama down the line if we're blurring the lines too much without properly discussing things first." You say.

"What do you mean?" He asks, and you sigh.

"What if you end up calling me.. your girlfriend just as a joke? But I start believing it at some point- thinking we are something serious when we're not. Or the other way around." You explain. "I don't want us to get hurt again. Neither of us."

Jungkook takes a deep breath, and from this close proximity, you can make out two odd dots near his bottom lip you're not too sure of. You might ask him about them some other time.

"Let me take time off of work. Next week, three days." He offers, catching you off guard. "Let's go on a trip. Together. Someplace no one knows us, and we don't know either." He tells you.

"I mean- I would've had friday and the weekend off anyways but-"

"Okay, great, perfect. I'll cancel my Friday meetings." He tells you, hands moving- at first, they seem to attempt to hold your cheeks- but it's like that feels too intimate yet, so he settles for your shoulders. "Let's get to know each other. The real you and me that got.. buried at some point." He offers.

"Why on a trip?" You ask.

"Because it's perfect." He chuckles. "Close proximity of the hotel room we'll share, stress of navigating the unfamiliar environment, the tension of not being able to just 'escape' any uncomfortable situation right away forcing us to talk things out as they happen-" He begins, and your mouth shapes an 'o' as you realize what he's talking about.

"It's a stress-test." You say, and he nods, grinning.

"Exactly." He nods.

"…to be honest you're already stressing me out." You jokingly reply-

Jungkook laughing, and you have a feeling he's not done that in a long time, with the way his ears turn red and his hand covers his mouth in embarrassment of that outburst.

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When Taehyung opens the door, he instantly greets his son who Jungkook has put down the moment he'd noticed the young father arriving at the front door to let him in.

"Oh wow." Taehyung laughs as Jungkook walks in, almost nervously running a hand through his hair. "Is the world ending? Apocalypse? Or am I high?" He jokes, making Jungkook roll his eyes. "No, seriously! I didn't even know you could still put those piercings back in!" He laughs, taking Dae's school backpack to take out his lunchbox so he can sort out the leftovers and wrappers from his snacks.

"It was a bit tricky, I won't lie." He laughs a little. "But they didn't really close all that much since I had them for so long, so it wasn't a big deal." He shrugs.

"What's the occasion?" Tae wonders, throwing the wrappers of Daehyun's snacks in the trash. "You most certainly don't look like you're gonna go to a meeting like that. What happened to 'I'm not in my twenties anymore' huh?" He jokes.

"I'm honestly not sure." He answers, hands in the pockets of his pants. "Just.. felt like it. And I'm not going to the office- I took time off." He confesses.

"Okay, are you running a fever?" Taehyung asks, and Jungkook laughs to himself. "Are you gonna meet up with your.. friend?" He air-quotes, and Jungkook nods, checking the silver watch on his wrist.

"Yeah- we're meeting up later, she's currently packing her things last thing she texted me." He nods. "Our flight is in about three hours from now, but it's her first time flying, so we wanted to be there a bit early just in case." Jungkook shrugs.

"Oh, fancy." Taehyung laughs. "Why though?" He wonders, washing the colorful lunchbox of his son in the sink.

"Stress testing." Jungkook offers. "We just want to see if we can handle each other under pressure." He says, and Taehyung sighs.

"My god Jungkook, can you just once try and not make everything more complicated than it has to be?" He worries. "Just spend time with her. Go out for a coffee or something, watch a shitty movie at home and let her suck you off during the commercial break or something, you know, like NORMAL people!" He whines. "You're acting as if this is some million-dollar business discussion. It's really not." He huffs out in frustration. "Listen, I know Eve fucked you over bad, and honestly you've always had a shit-taste in women to begin with because holy fuck if I think back to Lucy-"

"Can you get to the point?" Jungkook complains, a little embarrassed as his friend brings up his admittedly terrible dating history.

"-yeah, sorry." He laughs. "But, trust me-" Taehyung says, drying his hands before he puts them on his friend's shoulders. "-she's honestly perfect for you. Once you help her get her confidence back up, trust me, you've got yourself someone who's not a raging cunt for once." He finishes his rant, and Jungkook takes a deep breath.

"You think?" He worries, and Taehyung nods.

"I do." He says, patting his friend's back before he leads him to his front door. "Be yourself. And I mean, your real self. Be that goofy dude who cries during disney movies and folds his laundry to Depeche Mode at 3 am."

"Why would I do that?" Jungkook cringes, thinking his friend is joking- but he's surprised to find Taehyung with a soft gaze instead, an encouraging smile on his lips.

"Because that's the Jungkook I know." He offers, a somber look on his face.

"And I miss him."

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"Let me take that." He offers, taking the suitcase from you. It's small, scratched up, and he can't help but notice the stickers on it. "You good to go?" He wonders, and you nod, closing the door before locking it, walking next to him out the apartment building towards his by now familiar car, his own luggage already in the trunk where he puts yours now as well.

The moment you sit next to him inside, is when you notice how.. different he is today. Not only from looks alone- but it feels different, oddly enough. Lighter. Not as serious as he usually is. "I wondered what those.. spots were." You say, looking at him from the passenger side, and he raises his brows while stopping at a red light, turning his head towards you, who points to your own lower lip.

"Ah, yeah." He chuckles, a bit bashful. "I.. got them done in my early twenties. Took them out though, because.. I don't know." He shrugs.

"You don't know, of do you just realize that the reason was stupid?" You giggle, and he sighs, with a smile on his lips however.

"Caught me." He confesses, changing lanes as he makes his way to the airport.

"Why'd you put them back in?" You ask, leaning against the car door a bit.

"Because I wanted to be myself." He explains. "I.. like I said. I want you to get to know me. And not the person I became to please others around me." He tells you.

"I assume your.. ex wife didn't like the piercings?" You ask, testing how far you can pry into his past and how much you can poke until he tells you off. But much to your surprise, he seems rather unfazed by the topic.

"She hated my tattoos as well. Wanted me to get them removed constantly." He chuckles, and you're intrigued.

"You've got tattoos as well?" You ask, and he nods.

"Maybe I'll let you see them later?" He flirts, and you grin to yourself, adjusting your legs a little as you stay quiet. "Either way, Evelyn didn't like a lot about me."

"Then why did she marry you?" You ask, noticing too late how mean that question could come off.

"Probably for my bank account." He simply laughs. "I was.. stupid. I thought she was fixing me." He shakes his head. "I thought she only had my best interest in mind." He says, setting his turn lights to enter the airport parking area. "But she always hated me. Still does." He sighs, searching for a proper parking spot.

"Well, I don't hate you." You tell him.

"Yet." He mumbles, before he finally parks the car, turning off the engine. "Do you have your passport and everything on hand? Don't wanna have to unpack everything in a rush later at check-in." He tries to change the topic, but you look at him with eyes so soft that he becomes scared of them.

"Jungkook." You say his name, and he hates how kind it sounds. "As long as you're not like him, I won't hate you. Honestly, I don't even hate him." You tell him, and he nods a bit stiffly, before practically escaping the car, instead putting on his jacket before helping you take out your suitcase and handbag.

Inside the airport, he notices your nervousness, hand constantly reaching out but never holding on to him at all, in any way. It makes him chuckle a little as he watches you fight with yourself for quite a while, before he helps you check in.

You're clearly a bit overstimulated by everything going on around you, looking around anxiously, biting the inside of your lips constantly, even as you both sit down to wait for your gate to open for boarding. "Hey-" He reaches out to tug your lip from your teeth with his thumb, before he smiles in reassurance. "Okay?" He wonders, and you nod, though you're not looking at him. "Come here. You can hold onto me, by the way, if that helps you." Jungkook suggests, and you move your arms to wrap around one of his, body scooting closer to lean your face against his shoulder, sweater soft against your skin. He moves his arm around your shoulders to keep you closer, hand offering itself for you to hold instead, and you do so, fingers cold. "What's that scar?" He wonders, thumb running over a faint scar over the palm of your hand.

"A shoelace." You say, a little quietly.

"A shoelace?" He repeats, and you nod.

"Yeah." You confirm. "I had.. I was in the midst of changing the laces of.. Gregory's boots, because the dog had chewed them. But he got mad anyways, and pulled them out of my hand." You remember. "It happened really quickly, but I remember that it hurt badly." You chuckle. "It was an odd pain. Like my body couldn't decide whether or not I was burned or cut."

Jungkooks hand on your shoulder starts to move a little in a soothing motion, fingers circling around. It's his first confirmation that something did indeed happen, and he's almost convinced that what you just told him was probably not an isolated incident, but simply one of many that went down during your entire relationship.

"I didn't want him to get mad at Yogi. He already hated the poor dog enough." You sigh, closing your eyes as you settle against Jungkook's side. He enjoys this close proximity, the domestic feel of this moment, even though it's out in public and for everyone to see. He doesn't care.

"You can heal with me, you know?" He says, and you look up at him from where you're leaning against his body. "I can't promise you that.. our time spent will be all smooth sailing, but I can assure you that it will be nothing like what you've experienced." He hums towards you.

And you smile warmly, sighing. "Don't worry-" you giggle, closing your eyes.

"-It already is."

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The hotel room is spacious, expensive looking, nothing like you've seen before.

Usually, you only really get to see things like these on vacation photos your friends show you- you yourself don't really travel, you technically don't take time off at all, rather always asking to have your off-days paid out instead if possible. You've got no reason to treat yourself with anything, be it time off or a full on vacation.

Your sense of self worth has shriveled up like rotten fruit over the years, now thrown out like the garbage it is.

Jungkook meanwhile clearly has a routine in him, as he walks through every room first to check if everything's okay, just to then place his bag somewhere near the bed, a big yawn escaping him as he opens the balcony door wide, letting the air of the seaside in. It's odd to see him dressed rather casual, simple but expensive sweater stretching over his broad back. His face still shows the clear stress he's accumulated, and it makes you wonder.

"Do you.. go on vacations often?" You wonder, and he shakes his head.

"No, usually I only fly out for business trips." He explains, watching you sit on the edge of the twin-sized bed. "I originally thought I should book two single beds, by the way. I just.. thought it might be more intimate like this." He tells you, leaning against the small balcony's edge outside, glass door open, as the wind blows through the curtains a little.

"It's okay like this." You nod, making him smile softly.

"Do you want to rest a little?" He asks, and you shrug, unsure. You only have three days- if you sleep now, it's probably annoying to him since he most likely planned something on this trip for you both to do. He at least comes across as someone who likes to have everything set out and structured- not like you, who dives in head first without any real plan. You don't want him to stay hidden inside the hotel room just because you're tired from the flight. "Hey." He asks, and you didn't even notice him squatting down in front of where you sit, his hands on your knees as he finds your eyes from where he's looking up at you. "Don't hesitate to speak your mind. If we want this to work, we need honestly, first and foremost." He encourages, and you nod.

"I'm tired- but I don't want to be boring." You worry.

"How would taking a nap be boring?" he chuckles. "I'm actually glad you're tired. I didn't want to come off as an old man who needs a break because he can't keep up." He laughs, standing up before he moves to lay down on the bed, patting the spot right next to him.

You lay down where he wordlessly suggested, taking in a deep breath while focusing your eyes on the collar of his sweater for a moment. It's when your gaze roams around that you notice something poke out on his wrist as he turns back around from removing his watch from the other arm. Your fingers curiously lift the fabric of the sleeve, making him chuckle quietly, before he moves to push the fabric up to his elbow, exposing different colors of ink underneath his skin.

What was Jungkook like when he was younger? Has he always been somewhat like this- or has he changed into this instead?

"Got them done in my early twenties too." He explains quietly. "Just.. lineart at first. Black and white." Jungkook remembers as he watches you trace some of the lines with your finger. "Then it got more. Over time, it looked a little messy- so I added color to it, this time actually going to a professional who specifies in forming sleeves." He tells you.

"Do you regret them?" You wonder. "Like.. your piercings and your tattoos?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

"It's not like I regret them." He denies. "I still like the look of them. The aesthetic of it. It's just.." He sighs, inked hand turning around palm up, and you put your own on top of his, making him move to compare your hand sizes palm to palm. "..they don't feel like me anymore." He shrugs.

"Maybe because they aren't." You offer, now holding his hand with both of yours, your eyes on the blurred ink underneath the skin. "Maybe.. you changed. Even though you didn't want to."

He did. He knows that he did- but what he struggles with, is the question if he can even go back now. He wants to, but at this point, he feels like he's crossed that line by now, too far to step back and take a different path. Most people around him nowadays only now this Jungkook, not the one he used to be. If he just reverts back to who he once was, will he lose every friendship and connection he's made after he married?

Marriage. The moment he changed.

Love can make someone truly blind to a lot of things. He overlooked so many warning signs, pushed old friends and even family away just because they saw what he did not- or more so refused to. He's not spoken to his own parents in years, by now too ashamed to admit that he'd been wrong for the entirety of his past relationship, that his mother was right about her. What would she think about you?

She'd like you, he's very sure about that. His father would probably be a little suspicious of the age gab, and his brother would most likely tease the living daylights out of him, but he knows you'd fit right in. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? What would they think of him?

He wants to ask you, but the moment he becomes aware and snaps out of his thoughts, your eyes are already closed, breathing even. You're still holding onto him, and he realizes that he's never actually had a moment like this with Evelyn in the past, not even when they were just a regular couple, and definitely not after they got married. He feels.. free. No pressure on him, no obligations awaiting him, nothing needed or expected from him. You're simply sleeping, and yet the act itself makes his pride swell, because of your display of trust towards him.

He knows you've been hurt. He knows that he's been hurt-

And maybe, just maybe, together, you can finally begin heal.

Change once more, for a final time, into a happier version of yourselves.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook imagine #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook x reader #bts jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook fanfic

[v3nusxsky]

Hey, do you write for wandanat? If not that's totally fine but if you do I was wondering if maybe I could request one?

Maybe where Wanda and nat are already together and one night at an avengers party they spot reader and Wanda falls for them and so convinces Natasha to seduce and take reader home with them?

Hopefully with smut, and maybe with daddy nat and soft mommy Wanda?

Love your work soooo much, feel no pressure to write this❤️

One of a Kind 18+

*Authors note~ a) I wrote this exhausted so mistakes are mine sorry y’all. B) I know you guys are all excited for different things so I was struggling to choose what I should post, shamefully having an anxiety attack over not choosing the right fic. So to save the day my lovely girlfriend choose wandnat for tonight*

To requester, I'm sorry I took some artistic liberties here but I honestly couldn't help but write them as g!p I hope that's okay!!!

Trigger warnings~threesome smut seduction daddy and mommy kink g!p Wanda Nat fingering r receiving praise and degrading kinks choking semi public sex??

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

Wanda and Tasha really didn't want to come to this party. No. But as per normal Tony wanted to throw a party and showed off his wealth and success. Wanda opting for a stunning emerald dress and Nat going for a form fitting suit. Wanda hid her cock so well that Nat often found herself being jealous. But she couldn't deny that her girlfriend is absolutely stunning in everything and nothing.

You'd been invited by Fury as a way to introduce you to the Avengers. You'd be set to join the team soon, but no one but Fury or Tony knew. Nat spotted you first, a simple Maroon skirt tucked into a beautiful black pencil skirt. Your legs on full display and a few buttons undone to give a tasteful view of your cleavage to the public. Alone at the bar is how the story starts, a rather cliche but important fact. That was where under an agreement between her and her wife Natasha swooped in on you.

You'd be lying if you said she wasn't sexy and very alluring but you still don't quite understand why she's here wasting time trying to get you in her bed. No one ever does that. It made you skeptical of her advances and actively ignoring the way her voice alone caused your cunt to become slick. The way her voice deepened as her eyes drank you in almost got you. Almost. But your past caught you first, you ended up lashing out at the woman.

"No one's ever really shown an interest in me. I'm not the prettiest or the smartest or the funniest girl around, I'm just average." You almost whispered but the woman could hear the sadness dripping through every word. "So this cruel joke of yours. Just stop it! Because I know no one would ever want me especially when they look like you do. So just stop" your voice broke on the last few words before you fled the scene. Really how could she do this to you? You thought she was a nice person, but to suggest this and not mean it was obviously going to hurt. After all who in their right mind would want an inexperienced virgin when they can have anyone in the whole world?

"Hey, you're beautiful, and I'd gladly take you home for my wife and me to enjoy for the night, you just have to trust we want you in the way we say" she murmured to you a gentle handed rubbing at your back in an attempt to soothe the confusing outburst. Yet both women were no strangers to being used and abused by other people. "You mean it?" You were really speaking more to yourself but when she replied with a Russian pet name that slipped off her tongue, you were a goner, "детка, we've been watching you all evening, no one in this room has caught our interest because we've been focused on you."

A simple nod had Nat leading you to the table to introduce you to her wife. By no surprise, her wife was just as beautiful as the red head. You immediately felt like you were unworthy of their attention. "I um should say I've never, um" you stumbled over your own admission but you could see you had both women's attention. "It's okay детка we will take this slow and at your pace, we truly want to get to know you дорогой" she whispered to you over the loud noise of the party. The other woman who you learned was the Scarlett Witch offered you to come sit closer to the women as you all conversed over small things really, but you were now completely at ease with them, exactly how they wanted you.

Your head warm and fuzzy, you felt an electric pulse of a slender hand trailing your thighs. It appeared you were more sensitive with the alcohol but soon enough you were spreading your legs for the brunette woman with a little help from her magic. From there you exposed your panty covered core to her curious fingers. The woman seemingly unaffected by her actions and holding a conversation with her wife about how much of an asset you'd be to the team. You almost got away with it, almost, but a little whimper escaped you as she accidentally bumped your aching clit.

"Wans" Nat warned, "you best not be playing with the хорошенькая шлюха without me" she growled the last two words. Truly how rude of you both not to wait for her, especially after her work to bring you to them. "I'm sorry Natty, I just couldn't wait anymore" the woman replied and removed her fingers from your core causing you to release a very disappointed whine. "сейчас, котенок, о тебе хорошо позаботятся" Nat purred before gracing you with a kiss to your neck before taking your hand to lead you away from the party, knowing that her wife will follow behind you.

As soon as you rounded the corner the Russian woman immediately slammed your back against the wall and attached her lips to yours with ease. The need was pouring into the kiss as the brunette woman watched in jealousy. She wanted to be the one kissing you, dragging all the pretty nosies she possibly could, but then again watching her wife touch you was doing unspeakable things to her nether region. "Tashsa" Wanda whimpered feeling the tent begin to show through her dress. "Come котенок, mommy is getting impatient and daddy can't wait to ruin your pretty untouched pussy" Natasha purred leading you to the bedroom once again. Only this time she never got side tracked.

Perhaps you'd had too much, but from there it's hazy, how did you end up absolutely bare for two of the most wanted and famous women in the world? And most importantly why the hell did they have throbbing cocks just desperate for you to take them. The women wanted to do this right, they showered you in love and praises. The made sure to touch and caress every inch of skin they could. And only when your ready did they introduce you to more. "котенок, sort out mommy's problem you caused" Nat demanded, encouraging you to bring your head to her shaft, with another quick check in and some guidance you were now choking on her cock as she forced it down your throat. "Oh fuck natty, this throat is perfect, fuck a good cock whore for me oh!"

With a few strokes to own dick she enjoyed the show, you are a fast learner by the looks of it and she was now struggling to contain herself and refrain from doing all the filthy things she desired to you. Wands sensing her wife's impatience slipped from your throat allowing you to breath as Natasha guided you into a new position. With you now on your hands and knees you were able to suck off wanda and give Nat access to your untouched cunt.

She took it slow, letting you adjust to her size, Wanda telepathically sharing the image of you with teary eyes, choking on her cock as you let Nat deflower you. But soon enough you began to rock backwards in a need for something, yet you didn't know what. "Oh there she is, our flight little girl, a dirty slut for us to use. Oh you've made mommy feel so good котенок she's ready to treat you for all your work, you'd love that huh? Mommy to fill your petty throat with cum?" Nat teased keeping her thrusts slow, "and fuck you're so fucking tight котенок, if mommy doesn't hurry up daddy will paint your pretty pussy white instead."

At the pure threat, Wanda was thrown over the edge into her own pools of bliss, breath heaving as all she could do is mewl yours and her wife's name. You greedily sucked every last drop from her shaft, surprising both women with the fact it was your first time. Only when she was sure she'd finished cumming did she slip from your front and encourage you to slip onto your back so Natasha could see your face. The new position only seemed to encourage the red head, especially with Wanda dropping her head to your breast and skilfully sucking and licking the hardened peaks. She even managed to roughly tweak her wife's right bud causing you both to cry out together.

The gasp you let out when Nat brought one hand from the bed to your throat was something both women wanted on a loop, experimenting with a bit of pressure they discovered a kink for you. "Oh Natty she liked your hand as her necklace. Oh darling is your head all fuzzy?" A broken confirmation left you as Natasha picked up an almost animalistic pace of pounding into you. And when your cries became to loud Wanda guided you to her breast, allowing you to suckle and nip her sensitive skin and effectively soothe you at the same time.

When Natasha came in long spurts of sticky white cum you honestly had no thoughts other than both the women. You lost count of how many times you'd been forced over the edge and just how long you'd been here, but now you didn't care. What a first experience to have. Oh but you weren't done, they immediately started to clean up and look after you, offering food water and cuddles. You wanted to talk, what could this mean? You'd slept with married women? Was it a fling? You hoped not. And Wanda heard all those thoughts and settled you into bed between the women with promises of talking about everything when your brain wasn't still in sub space. You'd be needing a clear mind to decide if you would join the relationship as a third party. But for now, you all slept.

Word count ~ 1839

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #anon requested #wanda x natasha #wanda x y/n #mommy wanda #wandanat x reader smut #wandanat #wandanat x you #wandanat x y/n #wandanat marvel #wandanat x reader #natahsa romanoff #natasha marvel #wanda marvel #marvel #natasha x reader

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Polish and Shine (Supernatural One-Shot)

Sam Winchester x GN!Reader / requests are open

Summary: Sam chews on his nails a lot. Too much. You come up with a plan to break the habit.

Fic type: comfort, fluff

CW: this lil fic contains mentions of Sam wanting to explore his gender : ) not much, just mentions of him enjoying feeling feminine (please be gentle with me, this one has a lil piece of me in it).

SPN: @wereallbrokenangels @nervoussystemss (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It's not something you noticed a lot at first. To be quite honest, your social awareness wasn't the best, and looking at people head-on was something you struggled with even after you got to know someone.

But you did start noticing it. It seemed that he did it more at night when it was just him and his thoughts and the big dark room lit up only by his laptop at the table. On a side note, he was going to ruin his eyesight if he kept that up.

But he also did it in the Impala, or after a disturbing interview, or even just when Dean was late back from some girl or guy's place he picked up at the bar.

Chewing his nails... Sam was always chewing on his nails. You understood why, of course. It was an anxiety thing. A stress thing. You'd be lying if you said you didn't fall victim to the same impulse sometimes, but the amount of nail-chewing was starting to worry you.

It had gotten so bad that Dean had started slapping at Sam's hand if he noticed him raising it towards his mouth, one hand on the wheel and his eyes piercing warning daggers into Sam's soul as he pointed at him accusatorially. A silent "stop it right now before I turn Baby around."

It only stopped him from doing it so much on the road. Less so anywhere else. You'd been keeping a quiet eye on Sam the last few days, watching him chew his nails back to the skin. Irritating the skin and the keratin so much that it was probably hurting him. You weren't even sure what was worrying him so much.

You'd been brainstorming ideas to help him with the impulse for a few days until it finally came to you one morning when you were making a med-kit run- stocking up on all the things you all would definitely need at one point or another.

Nail polish. Of course! You'd picked up a couple different colours- given they were all out of transparent along with your bandages, iodine and Betadine and headed back to the motel of the day.

Sam had looked at the bottles in your hand with a raised brow when you brandished them. He picked one up, twirled it around and set it down on the counter.

"Do you want me to paint your nails for you or something?" He asked. Now, you couldn't say that wasn't appealing and that you weren't keen on that idea, because you were, but that was not the purpose of this little exercise.

"Maybe later, Sam. I got them for you-"

"For me?" He cut you off with one of those little huffy laughs he was so good at. You pulled a chair out and sat down, setting the bag on the counter and grabbing one of the bottles.

"Yes, for you," you reiterated, reaching for one of his hands. Sam allowed you to take it and take a look at the abused fingers. "Look, I- I've noticed you chew your nails a lot- and this looks like it hurts. I know Dean wants you to stop, and I imagine you'd also like to break the habit, yes?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably in his seat, averting his eyes from your warm gaze.

"Yes," was his soft reply. You nodded, giving his hand a squeeze.

"This might help you break the habit. Plus, you'll look super pretty."

Sam snorted. His eyes darted back to look at you, and you really saw how shy and vulnerable he was feeling at that moment. It made you want to wrap him up and keep him safe.

"So, they didn't have clear," you explained, voice soft as if trying not to spook a deer. Or a moose, you supposed, in this case. "But I got you a few colours to choose from. Which one takes your fancy?"

You know exactly what he's going to pick before he does it. The forest-green. He hands you the vial and you let go of his hand to shake it up and unscrew the cap.

Sam sits patiently for you while you work, occasionally clearing his throat or giving you a quick smile. It doesn't take long, only a few minutes. Let it dry, then another coat. Let that dry. Done.

"There, all done," you exclaim, leaning back and stretching your back so it pops nicely. "Very nice, very nice," you approve. Sam fans his fingers out and juts his lower lip out thoughtfully.

"You know- I kinda like it," he blinked as though the discovery shocked him. "Can I do yours next?"

And so began a tradition. Once a fortnight you'd both paint each other's nails. Dean even got into it after a few weeks, getting his own done, too. Sam had been worried at first that Dean would make fun of him for his nails, but the only thing Dean had said after he returned toting beer and Chinese food was "nice choice, Sammy" as he cracked a beer and propped his feet up.

Sam continued to chew on his nails for a bit. It was a learning curve, after all, but he did end up slowing down and eventually stopping completely. You hadn't mentioned to Sam that he'd stopped just in case he hadn't realised, but you and Dean had shared a beer over the silent victory. And when Sam brought the victory to you both a few days after that, all three of you shared a beer then, too.

You and Sam continued to wear different shades and Sam even learned to put the polish on himself, though he vastly preferred you to put it on for him. Considered a bonding moment, which was cute. Dean would participate occasionally, and eventually, Sam admitted that he liked how feminine the polish made him feel.

After that- things sort of migrated from just nail polish to brushing his hair and experimenting with colour in his wardrobe. That was all he was really comfortable with for now, but that wasn't a problem. You were just glad he felt comfortable enough to share such personal information with you.

You both loved each other so much, and one of the best things about found family was that you knew you would be pillars of support for each other.

No matter what.

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #supernatural #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #spn #spn fic #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #supernatural x reader #supernatural x you #spn x reader #spn x you #sam x reader #supernatural one shot #spn one shot

[gennyanydots]

Spitfire

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female reader

AN: this is my very first fic. I had this idea and it wouldn’t go away so here we are. I’m sorry if it sucks.

TW: verbally abusive relationship mentioned. Not involving any main characters and nothing specifically said.

part of the ‘spitfire universe’

Jake closes his eyes to help clear his mind. If he sunk this shot Coyote and Bob owe him and Phoenix $200. To be honest it wasn’t about the money, at least not for Jake, he just loves to win anything and everything he can. As he opens his eyes he notices that Rooster has joined their group by the pool table. Rooster must have gotten lost coming to the bar. Typical.

Maverick had taken Penny and Amelia on a much needed vacation. Turns out it was Maverick’s first vacation in quite some time and Penny wanted to share the fun so she gave all of her employees the week off too and shut the Hard Deck down while she was gone. Very nice gesture for her staff but it left the aviators with nowhere to go after work. Begrudgingly they found this hole in the wall bar with a couple of pool tables and decided to check it out. Thankfully it was Friday meaning tomorrow Penny and Mav will be back and then they never have to come back here again. Hopefully. Being Friday night meant it was pretty crowded even for some random dive bar.

While Jake takes his time lining up his shot he vaguely hears Rooster saying something about something. Jake’s not really paying attention. He takes his shot sinking the 8 ball turning to Coyote and Bob with a smirk, “That’ll be $200. Would you like to pay in cash or card?” Coyote rolls his eyes while reaching into his pants for his wallet.

Jake looks around then turns to Rooster, “So what were you just going on about? You almost made me miss my shot what with your loud mouth going off and all.”

Rooster scoffs, “If anyone has a loud mouth it’s you and you know it, Hangman. I was just asking if anyone knew the spitfire at the bar. I’ve never met her but I just wanted to keep an eye on her since she seems to be fixing to get her ass handed to her.”

Jake looks towards the bar seeing the back of a women yelling at a man with another woman close behind her. The man is yelling right back in her face. Jake knows he doesn’t know the man or the second woman and turns back towards Coyote putting his hand out for the money. Just then he listens a little harder. He knows that voice. He hears it every day. That’s the voice that yells at him almost every night from the living room while he’s upstairs in the shower not to leave his boots in the doorway because you trip over them every time. Jake’s eyes get big as he yells, “Shit! It’s mine!”

He starts to push through the crowd as fast as he can with his other aviators close behind. He shoves his way in front of the man and proceeds to pick you up passing you off to Coyote to get you out of the line of fire then turns around to face the angry man. He’s got a few inches on this guy and looks down at him with his chest puffed out, nobody is going to mess with his girl even if she got herself into this mess. The man in front of him is seething.

Coyote places you down behind him getting you farther away from the angry man, ready to jump in to help his friend. Bob, Phoenix, and Rooster crowd around too ready for whatever was going to happen.

From behind Coyote Jake hears, “He was yelling at his girlfriend! He was getting in her face saying awful things about her and calling her names!”

Jake was mad before just hearing this man yell at you but now he’s furious. He glances behind himself locking eyes with Coyote who nods his head. They both grab an arm each of the man’s and proceed to drag him outside Rooster following close behind. The girl who you had been protecting now sobbing as you go over and try and help her calm down. Bob comes over with a glass of water for her and Phoenix stands watching all the other Patrons in the bar in case the guy had any buddies they needed to worry about.

Jake and the others come strolling back in not too long after. He heads towards you shaking out his hand. He saddles up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and leans down so you can hear him better, “What did I say about getting into fights without me?”

You smile and turn in his arms wrapping your arms around his neck, “Umm I think you said not to but I can’t remember. The details are fuzzy and it was soooooo long ago.”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “You’re right a month is a very long time. I’m actually surprised you made it this long.”

From behind the two of you, you can hear Rooster asking, “Uhh did you guys know Hangman had a girl?”

Coyote grins looking over at you, “Nice to see you, Mrs. Seresin.”

You smile right back, “Hey Javy. Did you like those leftovers I sent in with Jake for you the other day?”

“They were delicious. I made sure to eat all the pasta before your husband could steal any.”

You hear Jake whine above you, “Why are you both so mean to me?”

Chuckling you both say, “Because we can.”

Coyote grins slapping Jake on the back and heads towards the bar for another round.

Rooster’s brow furrows as he watches the exchange and looks at Bob and Phoenix questioningly. Phoenix shrugs in response and takes a few steps closer to you, “So Mrs. Hangman where have you been hiding and why did you leave me alone with these idiots?”

You laugh, “I’m sorry I don’t go out much. Jake likes to be the prettiest in the room so he leaves me at home so his reputation isn’t tarnished.”

Jake chuckles shaking his head and kisses the top of your head, “I’m going to remember this later, darlin’. Don’t think I won’t.”

You smile sweetly up at him, “Promise?”

Need more of Jake and his Spitfire? Check out: Kindergarten Failure

#jake seresin x reader #jake hangman x reader #top gun maverick #hangman x female!reader

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

scott street - d. wagner

a/n: i am feeling super normal about my relationship with my dad! and i just need a little comfort right now. reminder that you aren't your parents, and step parents can be either your actual parent or the worst in the world! i would know. warnings: big angst, huge. reader and danny sneak off to fuck, and then again at the end of the fic, domestic abuse, divorced parents, step parents, neglect and trauma, cursing, uhhhh yknow. daddy issues, but i hate that term bc of tiktok, enjoy ! word count: 3.1k summary: he's your danny, even while putting the pieces back together. paring: danny wagner x fiance!gn!reader now playing: scott street - phoebe bridgers "do you feel ashamed/when you hear my name?"

It happened before your mom got remarried. You were back from school on summer vacation, after your stepdad helped you move out for the summer. It had been the end of your freshman year.

For weeks, you tried to convince your dad to help move you out, begging him to be somewhat active in your life. He hadn’t seen you since winter break, and that was only because you had to go over to his house. Because your brother begged you to give him a shot. But this time, he refused to help you move out. You don’t go to college that far from home, but he tells you he wants to save himself the trip if you’re just going to be home a few days later.

You don’t even have to ask your stepdad. He offers.

And this is what makes it not a big deal when he buys a car decal from your campus bookstore. It has your school’s logo, and says the name of your school, with ‘Dad’ next to it. You laugh and talk your whole trip home, and it doesn’t seem that deep. I mean, your dad has neglected you for years, treating you like a toy on a shelf, and you don’t even have to ask your stepdad if you can grab a snack for the trip home.

It’s just easier for you to be around him, and he really acts the way a father should. He isn’t even married to your mom yet, and you feel this great swell of love for this man, knowing that he’d be the one to be there without hesitation.

Your brother manages to convince you to go with him to get dinner with your dad a few days into your trip. In a few days, you’ll have people over. Your extended family, your brothers’ friends, and your friends from high school.

Well, your friend. Sam can’t make it; he’s having a root canal done.

But Danny will be there. Your Danny. Being in college hadn’t been enough to push aside your crush on your best friend. You suspected the summer would probably make that even more difficult. But you hadn’t seen him in a few months, and you missed him desperately. You focus on him to get you through the dinner from hell.

Your dad picks you up from your moms, your stepdad not yet home. You sit awkwardly in the front seat, anxious for a reason you can’t quite put a finger on.

But really, dinner goes sort of well. You push through the awkwardness of it all, and it’s not that bad.

Until he pulls into your driveway to drop you off. He sees the sticker on your stepdad’s car and starts screaming at you.

You scoff, telling him you find it rich that he’s making comments about your mom’s boyfriend when he let his wife absolutely torment you and your brother for years.

Before you can blink, he grabs you by the hair and smashes your face against the dashboard. He’s still screaming at you when you come to about ten seconds later. Your brother is screaming too, telling your dad to stop, and he’s pulling you out of the car. Blood runs down your face, staining a shirt you got from Danny. It makes you start to sob as you run into your house. You hear the slamming of car doors, and your brother follows you quickly, holding your bag and sweatshirt.

Your mom swears she’ll kill him, but you keep crying. You’re too sad to be angry. But you decide right then and there, you’re done with him.

When you go to the ER, they tell you that your nose is broken. They set it back into place and bandage it up, telling you to take it easy for a few days.

When you see Danny a few days later, he’s immediately concerned.

He holds your face gently, asking you what happened. You’re tired of explaining it to everyone.

“My dad. He banged my head into a dashboard a few days ago. Broke it.” You sighed. You see him tense.

“I’ll fucking kill him.”

“You’ll have to get in line.” You tell him. You take a sip of your beer. You move on from the subject quickly, asking how he’s been, what he’s been up to. He tells you that the band he had joined with the Kiszka’s is starting to pick up. You’re thrilled for him.

It’s hard to stay away from your attraction.

The night goes by smoothly, until there’s a knock on your front door. Your mom goes to answer it, and after a few minutes, she calls you over. Your dad stands there. He has a pile of papers in his hands.

“What do you want?” You ask, putting down your drink. He looks past you. Danny leans against the doorway to the hallway. You don’t ask him to leave.

“To give you these. I’m signing over my parental rights.” He tells you. It hurts more than the broken nose. You stay quiet. Inside you, you feel the ghost of your ten-year-old self screaming for her daddy, telling him to take it back. But you take the paper, and see he’s already signed and notarized them. “It’s been a long time coming.” You laugh, biting back tears.

“Fuck you. Get out of my fucking house, I don’t want you here.” You tell him, angry now. You want to yell, because he waited until three weeks before you turned eighteen to do this. It’s an extra punch to the gut.

“No more Christmases, no more birthdays, no more support, other than what’s mandated by the court.”

“Go to hell! You were never there for any of that shit!” You tell him. He just stares. “You broke my nose, if you care.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you, but I need to do what’s best for us.”

“Have a good fucking life.” You slam the door in his face. You ignore your mom’s gaze. You ignore Danny’s. You start to cry as you walk quickly through the house, dodging your family members. You make it outside to your backyard, where sobs rack your body. Someone says your name from behind you, and you know who it is.

You let Danny hug you, hold you, as you cry.  You cry for a long time, and he stays just like that, refusing to let you go. When you finally calm down, you’re laying your head on him when you ask him a question, and it breaks his heart into a million little pieces.

“Why doesn’t he want me?”

He just hushes you softly. But, you want an answer. You demand it of him, and he gives you one.

“Because he’s a fucking moron. You’re the best, you’re kind, and gorgeous, and fucking funny. You make me laugh constantly, and for so long you’re going to date men who remind you of him, because you’ll long for his love. But he doesn’t deserve your love. And what he does… That isn’t love. One day you are going to meet someone who never questions why you don’t talk to him, and they will be his exact opposite. You deserve that type of love.” He tells you.

You just look at him for a few minutes. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s the pain.

You kiss him. It lasts a few moments, and he kisses back. Then he’s pulling away, mumbling no…

No?

“We can’t. You’re drunk, you’re upset. I won’t kiss you just because you’re sad. I’ll kiss you when the time is right and you’re happy. I’ll kiss you when I know we’re both ready and in love.” He tells you. You feel betrayed. You know, somewhere deep down, that he’s right. That you both deserve a first kiss that isn’t full of angst and drama.

But you’re angry. Angry at your dad. Angry at Danny. Angry at yourself. Angry at God, who you haven’t prayed to since you were nine. You pull away from him, wiping tears that remain on your face.

“I think you should go.” You say softly. He knows you don’t mean it. But he respects your wish.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” He tells you. “Don’t be a stranger.”

He leaves, and for a second time that night, you’re crushed that a man has left you despite telling him to go.

It’s been five years since that day. You’ve graduated college, and you spend most of your days waiting for Danny to get home from the studio or from a tour.

He finally kissed you again when you graduated college, promising to never let you go ever again. Promising to never let any other shit for brains guy hurt you because you wanted to be loved. He promises to hold your hand while you put yourself back together. He never insists on doing it for you, but he always supports you.  

You’ve been in therapy for a long time, and most days, you don’t think about your dad. You have your mom and stepdad. But somedays, it hurts. And it doesn’t hurt you, it hurts that same ten-year old who lives inside you.

But you ignore it. You focus on your career, your life, your boyfriend.

And one day, a few months before your brother’s wedding, he asks you to marry him. You say yes. It seems so natural; you’ve only been dating for just under two years, but you’ve been in love for as long as you can remember.

You love being engaged. You love thinking about him as your future husband. For you, there are few questions about the wedding. You’ll get married in early fall, you’ll have your mom walk you down the aisle, you’ll have red velvet cake, and Josh will sing your first dance song as well as officiate.

All these things seem very natural to you.

They’re not as easily answered as your brother. When his fiancé got pregnant right before your engagement to Danny, he began questioning whether he’d have your dad there. You couldn’t say you didn’t understand it. There were times you considered reaching out. And with a kid on the way, you knew why he would want his dad in his life again.

It doesn’t stop you from booking an emergency session with your therapist when he tells you he’s coming to the wedding.

He won’t be part of the wedding party, and he’ll have no part in any speeches or traditions. He’ll just be there to support your brother and his wife. You’ll barely notice him; Danny reassures you of this time and time again.

The wedding went well. You focus on your brother and his wife, your sister-in-law. You’re so proud of him. Danny watches you the whole time. He thinks about how you’ll look at the alter of your own wedding, and he melts a little at the thought. Your engagement ring looks lovely with the flowers your sister-in-law picked out.

During the cocktail hour, in between the reception and the ceremony, he can barely keep his hands off you. He’s pulling you out of the crowd, kissing you against the walls, telling you how pretty you are. You don’t really think about your dad.

You sneak off with him, and he takes you into a nearby empty room. An employee from the venue almost walks in on the two of you. You can’t stop laughing. You tell him you love him again and again. There’s something about someone so close to you getting married that thrills you in preparation for your own wedding.

You sit with your mom, stepdad, and your sister in law’s immediate family. Danny holds your hand as your sister-in-law’s sister makes her maid of honor speech. You make a speech too, your brother dubbing you his best man, regardless of your gender. Your sister-in-law dances with her dad. Your brother dances with your mom.

Your stepdad asks to dance with you to Goodnight My Angel, by Billy Joel. You oblige. While dancing, you tearfully ask him to dance with you to it at your own wedding. He agrees, happily. The photographer takes a photo of you during the dance.

And that’s the last time during the night that you’re truly sober, and you spend the rest of your night dancing with your mom, and with your fiancé. You love calling him that. You slow dance to your favorite songs, and that night, you decide your first dance song will be a Loggins & Messina song.

You’re getting a drink at the bar when he finally says something to you. Your father. His first words to you are as follows:

“I saw you dancing with him. To that song.” You laugh spitefully.

“With Danny? Yeah, I’m gonna dance with him, he’s my—”

“No. With your stepfather. Why would you disrespect me like that?”

“You left. You abandoned me. You wanted nothing to do with me. You have no right to comment on my relationship with my stepdad.”

He stands up to face you.

“You were disrespectful. Rude. Horrible. Out of control, I couldn’t deal with you!” You glare.

“You’re so full of shit. He was always more of a dad to me than you were.” You can tell he’s ready to hit you, but you feel a hand on your arm from behind. Your head whips to see Danny. Your shoulders slump. You’re immediately calmer. Your other hand goes up to lay on his hand, where his thumb is gently rubbing your forearm. It’s then that your father sees your engagement ring. You go to say something, but he cuts you off.

“Engaged?” You realize he didn’t know.

“Yeah. You remember Danny.” Your fiancé says nothing.

“Of course, I do. You always were in love with him.” It almost makes you smile, the way your dad remembered your crush on him. But you just as quickly remember when he called you a slut for having two boyfriends in a year. You just as quickly remember him leaving you and your brother for hours, days, at home with your stepmom who refused to let you eat any food. You just as quickly remember the pain from the broken nose, and the worse pain of him showing up at your door to sign away his parental rights.

“Yeah. I always was.” You grab your drink and take Danny’s hand properly now. “Have a good night.” You tell him, and you lead Danny away from him, leaving your father at the bar, where he was always meant to end up.

Danny says your name, asking you softly, “Are you okay?” You let out a shaky breath, taking a sip of your drink. Tears brim your eyes.

“I love you, Danny.” You tell him weakly. He can tell that that’s a no. He guides you away from the party, this time to not make love with you, but to comfort you. Tears run down your face as you lean against the wall in the hallway, feeling the thump-thump of the music from the party. He frowns and wipes your tears, shaking his head. “I thought seeing him wouldn’t hurt anymore.” You say quietly.

Sometimes the child that yearns for your father slips out. You can’t keep them inside in this moment.

“I know, baby.” He says gently. “…Do you want to talk to him more after this? Invite him to the wedding?” He isn’t coercing you, isn’t forcing you to. He’s only laying out your options.

“No.” you tell him. “I don’t need him. I’ve got you. I’ve got mom. I have Mark, and my father be damned, I have a fucking dad. Not that asshole. I have a dad, and it isn’t him.” You tell him. Danny nods.

“You have grown into an amazing young adult. I’ve been in love with you for so long, and I am so proud of you. You’ve grown so much, and you’ve made yourself a damn good life.” He tells you.

“Damn good.” You confirm, your voice breaking.

“Damn good. You’re right. He’s not your dad. Dads don’t do the things he’s done to you. He might be your father, but he isn’t your dad. And it’s okay to miss him, but you have an amazing life without him. And we’re gonna get married. And we’re never going to make his mistakes. You are nothing like him. We’ll get hitched, and have sex every night, and we’ll die in our nineties after a long life of Rock n Roll, Sex, and love. We’ll dance to Loggins and Messina at your wedding, our kids will call Patrick ‘pop’ and he’ll never have a second of your life.” He tells you. You kiss him gently, unable to form the words to tell him how much that means to you. When he stops kissing you, just for a second, he tells you, “We’ll make a new home, with just the two of us. We’ll host holidays, and you’ll never cry on Christmas again.” He tells you.

His words heal something in you. He won’t let you be hurt by your father ever again. The war is over, and now you’ll try to heal, try to move on.

Danny wipes your tears and asks you to come dance with him. You oblige. You dance through the night and focus on your future.

And it’s just as your fiancé describes. You get married. You dance to ‘A Love Song’ by Loggins and Messina, sung by your officiant, Josh.

Sam is Danny’s best man, and your brother is your maid of honor.

You dance with your stepdad to that Billy Joel song.

On Christmases, Danny kisses you under the mistletoe and holds you close.

He’s nothing but romantic and good to you.

On Father’s Day, a particularly hard holiday for you, he brings you home a cake before you go out for dinner with your mom, stepdad, brother, sister-in-law, and nephew.

It’s white, and has small hearts all over it, and in red frosting, it reads, ‘You can’t choose your father, but you can choose your daddy.’ It makes you laugh, and you ruin your hair and ruffle your clothes making love before you leave for dinner.

That night before he goes to bed, he kisses you and tells you that he loves you. That he can’t wait to live the rest of his life with you.

It takes you a long time to fall asleep, thinking about your dad, your Danny, and your stepdad. You wonder if you’ll ever have the courage to have children, out of fear of fucking them up like your dad did with you. You wonder if Danny and you really will live a long, happy, sexually vast life. You realize he is your soulmate, and that he’ll always be your husband.

You decide you’ll be alright.

#danny wagner x you #daniel wagner x reader #danny gvf #daniel wagner x you #greta van fleet #greta van fleet x reader #greta van fleet x you #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka x you #sam kiszka x you #sam kiszka gvf #sam kiszka #danny wagner #daniel wagner #jake kiszka #jake kiszka x you #jake kiszka x reader #danny wagner angst #dana vents for 3.1 k words

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

All Too Well // Eddie Munson

request: none

prompts: none

summary: when you started dating eddie, it was the happiest time of your life. but as time went on, eddie started acting different. and the bond between the two of you suffered because of it.

warnings: language, mentions of drinking and drugs, mentions of drug addiction and substance abuse, chrissy’s eating disorder is mentioned briefly, self image issues, allusions to smut, eddie being an asshole, crying, hints at cheating, and a whole lotta heartbreak

word count: 11.6k

a/n: very off character for eddie, does not follow the plot of season four at all, starcourt didn’t burn down, gn!reader, i know it says he’s an asshole in the warnings but he’s not like that the whole time! there’s also no spoilers for season four!

this is the longest fic i’ve ever written, and i’m so incredibly proud of it! i hope you enjoy it!! :)

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold

But something 'bout it felt like home somehow

And I left my scarf there at your sister's house

And you've still got it in your drawer, even now

“Come on! Hurry up!” you called behind you as you ran towards Eddie’s trailer.

The two of you had thought it would be fun to go ice skating on Lover’s Lake, but the gentle snowfall soon grew heavier, and the thought of staying outside any longer made you feel like you were going to develop frostbite. Of course you both had the bright idea to walk to the lake, and now had to run back to Eddie’s trailer for shelter.

Your lungs burned, and your cheeks and the tip of your nose were going numb, but you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. Though the date hadn’t been what you had planned, having to watch Eddie struggle to run in the snow was quite amusing. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t struggle either.

When he finally caught up to you, Eddie unlocked the door and you both pushed inside, feeling the warmth of the trailer against your near frozen skin.

“It’s really coming down out there. I’m not sure you’ll be able to get home tonight,” Eddie said as he peeked through the blinds on the window.

You simply smiled as you pulled your scarf off, tossing it away not noticing nor caring where it went, you could always find it later.

“So, impromptu sleepover?” you asked, giggles breaking in through your words.

Eddie ran over to you and tackled you in a hug, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. You hissed at how cold his lips were, but you didn’t pull away.

“I like the way you think! I’ll make hot cocoa. Why don’t you pick out some movies?”

You nodded, a bright smile ever present on your face, and walked over to the stacks of VHS tapes scattered around the television. Excitedly, you searched through them, finding some of your favorites, and grabbing some of Eddie’s too.

Tonight was gonna be amazing.

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze

We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place

And I can picture it after all these days

“Oh my god, I love this song!” you said as you cranked up the volume on Eddie’s car radio.

Eddie’s eyes widened as he turned to look at you, feeling a smile begin to grow on his face.

“You like Metallica?” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah! You never shut up about them, so I figured I might as well listen to them. Now I get it though, they’re really good!”

“And just when I thought you couldn’t get any more perfect!”

You laughed at his statement before turning your attention back to the radio. You didn’t know all the words, considering you had only heard the song a few times before. You tried your best to sing along, mumbling whenever you didn’t know the words.

Eddie smiled over at you, and soon enough he began singing along with you. Neither of you sounded any good, but you didn’t care. It was the most fun you’d had all day, having been stuck in a car heading to who knows where. Eddie said he wanted to go on a road trip without a destination. And while that seemed like a perfectly good way to get lost, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no given how excited he was.

When the song finally ended, you didn’t want to stop singing along. Eddie knew all the words to the next song, but you, having never heard it before, made up your own words, much to Eddie’s amusement.

“Making your own remix I see,” he said in between laughs.

“Damn right. It’s the new and improved version.”

“Well I wouldn’t say improved.”

“Excuse me?” You turned to face him, face growing hot with laughter.

The rest of the car ride was filled with awful singing, terrible jokes, and fits of never ending laugh that made both of your sides hurt.

And I know it's long gone and

That magic's not here no more

And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all

You sat at a table at Scoops Ahoy, impatiently tapping your fingers against the surface. You and Eddie were supposed to meet for an ice cream date almost an hour ago, but he was nowhere to be seen. You had just about given up hope, and were debating on whether or not to just go home, when you finally saw Eddie walking towards you.

“Where were you?” you asked him as he sat down next to you.

“What do you mean?”

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago! I was just about to leave,” you replied, hurt evident on your face.

“But I thought you said we were meeting at four?”

“Eddie, it's almost five.”

“Is it?” He checked his watch, and sure enough it read 4:57. “I’m sorry sweetheart, Hellfire ran long again, guess I just didn’t realize what time it was.”

You sighed and nodded. This is the third time this month he’d been late. It was starting to feel as if he’d rather be with his friends than with you. You didn’t mind it when he hung out with other people, but this was supposed to be your time together. And he kept spending it with people who weren’t you. It felt like he was starting to not care as much anymore.

'Cause there we are again on that little town street

You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking' over at me

Wind in my hair, I was there

I remember it all too well

“Eddie stop!” you yelled at him, jerking his attention back to the road.

Eddie quickly slammed on the breaks, stopping the car before running through the red light. Your eyes were wide as you looked ahead at the cars crossing through the intersection. You turned to look over at Eddie, only to find him looking at you with a slightly amused expression.

“Why didn’t you stop?” you asked, shoving his shoulder playfully.

“I was looking at something much more interesting than the road,” he retorted.

You felt your face grow hot when you realized what he was referring to.

“You can ogle me later Eddie! I’d really prefer to not get into a crash,” you replied, feeling laughter bubble up in your throat despite yourself.

“Fine, fine, fine! I’ll pay attention to the road,” he jokingly grumbled.

You laughed once more and leaned over to rest your head on his shoulder. You looked up at him, smiling.

“I love you, you dork.”

You kept your gaze on him, waiting for any sort of reaction. But he simply kissed your forehead without looking down at you. Even though you were the one who told him to keep his eyes on the road, it left you feeling a little deflated. You brushed it off, telling yourself that he must not have heard you. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that kept thinking otherwise.

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed

And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team

You told me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me

“Eddie, guess what I found?” Eddie’s uncle said as he walked towards the couch you and Eddie were sitting on.

In his hand he held a book that sort of looked like a photo album. Eddie groaned and buried his face in his hands, seeming to recognize it instantly. His reaction only made you even more intrigued in the book, and its contents.

“What is it?” you asked, turning to Eddie.

He didn’t answer you, and instead continued to grumble into his hands.

“It’s his baby photos,” Mr. Munson said teasingly as he sat down next to you on the couch.

“Ooooh! I wanna see,” you said, excitement filling you at the thought of seeing how adorable Eddie looked as a baby.

“No, please don’t,” he whined, finally looking over at you and his uncle.

“Too late,” you replied with a smirk on your face.

Mr. Munson handed you the album, and you pulled in open, looking over all the photos. Your smile only grew wider as you took in all the adorableness. There was a photo of Eddie covered in spaghetti, having thrown it everywhere instead of actually eating it. Another one was of him in the bathtub with a beard made out of bubbles.

“Oh my god, you were so cute!” You giggled as you elbowed Eddie in the side.

His cheeks grew red at your words, and he desperately tried to pull the photo album out of your hands, but you moved it away and continued flipping through it, watching as he grew older in the photos.

“Ohhh, so this was the infamous buzzcut era,” you joked as you saw Eddie’s eighth grade yearbook photo.

Eddie only continued grumbling and pouting as you and Wayne continued flipping through the pictures, and continuing to poke fun at Eddie the whole time.

And you were tossing me the car keys, "Fuck the patriarchy"

Key chain on the ground, we were always skipping town

And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now

He's gonna say it's love, you never called it what it was

“Eddie, can we talk?” you asked, turning to look over at him.

He kept his gaze on the road, but nodded to let you know he was listening.

You paused for a second, debating whether or not to go through with what you wanted to say.

“How come you never say you love me?”

You could feel the tension in the car grow as soon as the words left your mouth. Eddie still never looked over to you, but you noticed his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“What do you mean?”

You sighed to yourself before continuing, “I’ve been saying that I love you for a few months now, but you’ve never once said it back. I used to think you just kept not hearing me, but I know you have. You’ve heard it every time. Why don’t you say it back? Do you not love me?” Your voice broke as you finished speaking, and you felt tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill over.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s all you have to say? Eddie, how can you not know whether or not you love me? We’ve been together for almost a year! Do you really not feel anything?”

“What do you want from me y/n? I said I don’t know! Can’t you give me some time to figure out my feelings?”

“I’ve given you time! I’ve given you months! Ever since I first told you that I loved you, I waited and waited for you to finally say it back! But you never do! And it hurts Eddie. It hurts so much.”

“Well I’m sorry that it hurts you, but I can’t just wake up and suddenly decide that I love you!”

His words were the last straw, and your tears finally spilled over. You reached up and tried to hurriedly wipe them away, not wanting to make a big deal out of them.

“Well if you don’t love me then why are we even together?” you shouted, all your pain and hurt bubbling up to your surface and spilling over.

“I don’t know,” he said sadly.

You looked out the window, not wanting to see him right now. Even though neither of you confirmed it, you could just feel that it was over. And you brought it upon yourself. If only you had just stayed quiet, and waited. Maybe things would’ve been better. But here you were, sobbing your heart out on a road in the middle of nowhere, stuck in a car with Eddie. When all you wanted to was be back home in your bed, away from him.

'Til we were dead and gone and buried

Check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same

After three months in the grave

And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you

But all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame

“Y/n, I’m sorry. Please just talk to me. I miss you.”

You stared at your ceiling, listening to the voicemail Eddie had left you. It had been almost a month since you both had called it quits, but you couldn’t bring yourself to even begin to move on. And here he was, calling you up and apologizing. You knew it was never a good idea to get back with your ex, especially considering how things ended. But in the moment, all you could remember were the good moments of your relationship.

Running through the snow together and then spending all night cuddled up together under a mountain of blankets and watching horror movies. Singing along horribly to the radio and making up your own words when you didn’t know them. Looking through his baby photos and calling him adorable just to see him blush.

You couldn’t bring yourself to remember all the times he showed up late, the growing distance between the two of you, the fact that he never once said how he truly felt about you. But in the moment, when you could only remember the good times, you couldn’t find a way to stop yourself from picking up your phone and calling him back. Consequences be damned, you missed Eddie, and you still loved him. And there was no way in hell you’d pass up a chance to get him back.

You sat up and reached for your phone, dialing the number you’ve called so many times. The phone rang a few times, and your heart was pounding so loud you could hear it. Finally the phone was picked up on the other end of the line.

“Hello?”

“Eddie? It’s me.”

And I know it's long gone and

There was nothing else I could do

And I forget about you long enough

To forget why I needed to

As the weeks went on, you started to remember why things had ended with Eddie.

When you first got back together, things were amazing. You were happy again, and the two of you went back to how you used to be almost immediately. You didn’t care about the heartache he caused, or all the self-loathing thoughts. You finally had him back, and you didn’t want to think about the bad memories ever again.

But soon he started showing up to things late again. He never even acknowledged it, and he just went about as if you hadn’t been waiting for his arrival for over an hour. And he grew more distant again. There were less meaningful conversations, and car rides were spent in silence, except for the low hum of the radio.

You could feel rifts beginning to grow between the two of you, but you didn’t want to acknowledge them. You just wanted to be with Eddie, even if it meant forcing yourself to pretend to be happy. You didn’t realize just how much he was hurting you, because even throughout all the shit he put you through, your relationship still had its good moments. And you decided to blindly follow those moments, pushing down everything he did that hurt you.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night

We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there

I remember it all too well

You were sat on the couch in Eddie’s living room, crying. You had just had another meaningless fight, and they were seeming to become more and more common as the time went on. You still loved Eddie, part of you thought you always would, but that didn’t change the fact that it still hurt every time you were caught in a screaming match.

You heard the door to his bedroom open, and you looked up to see Eddie walking towards you. His face held a solemn expression, one similar to the look on yours. Wordlessly, he grabbed your hands and pulled you up and into his embrace.

“Dance with me,” he said, beginning to sway the two of you.

“But there isn’t any music playing.”

“Who cares about that? We can make our own music.”

Eddie began humming a tune you recognized, but you couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly. You did your best to hum along with him as the two of you danced around the living room. Your tears subsided, and you felt yourself relax into his embrace.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” he whispered softly.

“I’m sorry too,” you replied, wrapping your arms around him tighter.

You could feel your sadness melt away, and all you could focus on was Eddie. How his thumbs gently rubbed circles in your back. How he pressed kisses along your hairline, while still humming the song. How his arms tightened around you when you pulled him closer. It’s like he knew exactly how to make you feel better. And even though you were mad at him earlier, you couldn’t be more grateful to be in his embrace.

And there we are again when nobody had to know

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath

Sacred prayer and we'd swear

To remember it all too well, yeah

You were sitting next to Eddie on the couch, the rest of his friends surrounding the two of you. There was some movie that Eddie had finally gotten on VHS and they were all dying to see it. Eddie invited you along too, not wanting you to feel upset since Saturday was usually your date night.

You brushed off your feelings about the change of plans, and focused on how excited Eddie looked. You didn’t even know what the movie you were watching was, nor what it was about, but you didn’t care. You had spent most of the duration of the movie admiring Eddie, and the excitement that flashed across his face throughout the movie.

You slipped your hand over to his, placing it on top and grasping it. But a few moments later, he pulled his hand away. Your heart shattered at the action as you watched him place his hand in his lap, away from you.

You turned away and looked at the ground beneath your feet, willing yourself not to cry. Not here. Not now, in front of everybody. Despite your efforts, you could feel your hot tears begin to fall past your eyes. You blinked hard a few times to push them out before mumbling some excuse and heading towards the bathroom.

Locking the door behind you, you placed your hands on the sink and looked at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were turning red and puffy, silent tears falling freely down your face. He pulled away from you. Despite everything, all of the shit he had put you through, all the fights, everything, never once had he pulled away from you before. Nothing else he had done had hurt as much as this.

You couldn’t stand to look at your reflection anymore, and instead leaned against the door, slowly sliding down until you were crumpled in a ball on the floor. You hugged your knees to your chest, letting yourself sob freely.

Well, maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece

'Til you tore it all up

Running scared, I was there

I remember it all too well

“You pulled away! Why did you pull away from me?”

After all of Eddie’s friends had left, he had finally noticed that you hadn’t returned from the bathroom. He knocked on the door, and when he opened it he could tell that you were crying. He asked why, and your feelings exploded out, causing you to yell at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Yes you do! During the movie I grabbed your hand and you pulled away? Why didn’t you want to hold my hand? Did you not want your friends to see it?”

“I don’t know, I just did! Why would I care if they saw us holding hands? They all know we’re dating!”

“Why didn��t you want to hold my hand?” you asked again, softer this time, tears threatening to fall for a second time that night.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to hold your hand! I just pulled away! Does it really even matter?”

“Yes Eddie, it does matter! You’ve never pulled away from me before! We’re growing apart again!” Tears were streaming down your face at this point, all the pain you had felt earlier that night returning once more.

“I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of it! So what if I pulled away? It doesn’t matter! Why do you always have to start fights?”

“Oh, I’m the one starting fights? You never pay attention to me anymore! It’s like I’m not even there! You pick apart every little thing I do! It’s like I’m never good enough for you anymore! You always find something that I’m doing that’s wrong! You always feel the need to fix things that don’t need to be fixed!”

“God, what are you even talking about? Listen to yourself, you’re not making any sense!”

“I can’t do this anymore, Eddie! I’m tired of feeling worthless all the time! I’m tired of you acting like I’m not even there! I’m tired of you starting fights over nothing!”

Eddie fell silent for a moment. You felt hopeful, thinking that maybe, somehow you talked some sense into him. And maybe everything could finally go back to how it used to be. But your new found hope was short lived.

“Fine. If that’s how you really feel, then maybe we shouldn’t do this anymore.”

“Eddie,” you said barely above a whisper, feeling your very being shatter.

He didn’t say anything else, not having anything else to say. You both stood there in silence for a moment, feeling the weight of everything you both had just said crash down on top of you. After a while, it was clear he wasn’t going to say anything to you anymore. You slowly walked over to the door, and turned around to look at him one last time before leaving, but he wasn’t even looking at you.

“Goodbye, Eddie.”

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all

“Please let me in. I’m sorry,” Eddie said from the other side of your door.

Your parents had let him into your house, not understanding the way things were left between the two of you. So here Eddie was, standing outside of your bedroom door, begging you to give him another chance.

“Things will be different this time, I promise. Just please, talk to me. I miss you so much. Open the door, please.” His voice broke at the end of his sentence and you could hear muffled cries coming from the other side of your door.

Just the thought of him crying made your heart ache. It hurt to know that you were the reason behind your tears. Which was kinda funny considering how many times he had made you cry. But his pleads and broken sobs only a few feet away from you were beginning to wear down your resolve.

“One last chance,” you thought to yourself.

You stood up from where you were sitting on your bedroom floor and slowly walked over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Your heart broke from how miserable he looked. Despite everything he had put you through, it still never failed to hurt when you saw him cry.

Wordlessly you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him flush against you. He wrapped his arms around you as well, tightening his grip as if he were afraid you’d disappear.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I’m so so sorry,” he muttered to you, still not letting go.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything in return, not wanting to bring yourself out of this moment with him. You had missed his touch, longing for his embrace every single day you were apart. And now that he was finally back in your arms, you never wanted to let go.

They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new Hell

Every time you double-cross my mind

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine

And that made me want to die

“God, you’re so childish! You’re making a big deal out of nothing!” Eddie yelled as he walked outside, pulling you along behind him.

You pulled your hand away from him at his words, causing him to turn and look at you.

“It wasn’t nothing, Eddie! You’ve been avoiding me all night! I only went to that stupid party because you wanted to! But as soon as we get here, you leave me, and you’ve been doing god knows what since!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what that’s supposed to mean! I saw Chrissy eyeing you up, and then I saw you walk off after her! What else am I supposed to think?”

“I didn’t walk off after her! Jesus Christ, you’re delusional! I should’ve known this was never gonna work,” he mumbled the last sentence to himself, but you still heard him.

You stepped closer to him, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to crying.

“What?” you asked him, barely above a whisper.

“I’m almost 21, and you’re not even 19 yet! Sometimes I just feel like you’re not mature enough to be in a relationship.”

“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me Munson! I’m not mature enough? Me? Are you fucking serious right now?”

“See, here you go again! You’re always getting so worked up over nothing!”

“And you never care about anything! You never care about me, or anything I want! It’s always just you! We do what you want to do! We only hang out when you have the time! You never make time for me anymore!”

“So what? Am I not allowed to have friends anymore or something? Is that really what you’re saying?”

“I never said that!” You paused for a second, taking a deep breath, before turning around and heading back inside the house.

“Where are you going?” Eddie called after you.

“I need a drink.”

The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you

Not weeping in a party bathroom

Some actress asking me what happened, you

That's what happened, you

You stepped inside the bathroom, locking the door behind you. You could hear the cheers of drunk kids and the muffled thumping of the blaring music. You sat on the edge of the bathtub, and soon you felt tears begin to fall down your face.

The words you and Eddie had said replayed in your head. He always seemed to twist everything in his favor. He blamed you for everything, coming up with bullshit excuse after bullshit excuse to push the blame away from him. But his latest one hurt you the most. Your age gap? That’s what he decided to go with?

You would admit that it did feel a little weird to be dating someone almost two years older than you, especially after having just turned 18. But he always said that it wasn’t a big deal, that it was never a problem for him.

“Guess that was a lie,” you whispered to yourself, letting out a sad laugh.

You would spend the rest of the night hiding out in here if you had to, not wanting to face Eddie for a while. You had just barely calmed your tears, but the mere thought of speaking to him again brought them back full force. You heard a knock on the door and tried to quiet your sobs, hurriedly wiping the tears off your face.

“Y/n? You in there?” a voice on the other side of the door said.

You wanted to answer, but couldn’t find enough energy within yourself to do so. After a few moments, the voice spoke again.

“It’s Robin. Are you ok?”

Slowly you stood up and unlocked the door, feeling relief wash over you at the sight of your best friend. She stepped inside the bathroom and locked the door behind her. When she turned back to face you, you immediately pulled her into a hug, and began sobbing again.

“What happened? Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, gently rubbing you back as your sobs continued to wrack through you.

“Ed-Eddie,” you mumbled out through your sobs, struggling to say anything else through the force of your tears.

But the one word was enough of an answer for Robin. She knew everything he had put you through, having witnessed most of the fallout first hand. She didn’t try to get you to say anything else, knowing it would only make you cry harder. So she stood there with you, holding you close.

She wanted to tell you to leave him, to dump Eddie and stop going back to him. Find someone who cared about you, someone who loved you. Really loved you. But she couldn’t bring herself to say any of that right now. You were already so upset, and she didn’t want to make it worse. She was going to have to wait. One day she would get through to you, and convince you to leave Eddie for good. But that day wasn’t going to be today.

You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes

Sipping coffee like you're on a late-night show

But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willing you to come

And he said, "It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one"

It was finally your 19th birthday. You were so excited, giddy from the thought of getting to see all your friends again. It had been a while since all of you were together in one place since you had all graduated.

The day was going absolutely perfect. You went to the movies with Steve, Robin, and Nancy, and the four of you had spent the rest of the day at the mall. Every time you suggested returning to your house, they pointed out another store, or some kiosk they wanted to stop at. You had a feeling they were stalling you, especially since your parents loved throwing you surprise parties. But you played along blindly, wanting to humor them.

By the time you had all headed back to Steve’s car, you had more shopping bags than you could carry. You, Nancy, and Robin decided to pile all of your bags on top of Steve, finding it absolutely hilarious when he struggled to carry them all.

After packing all of the bags into Steve’s trunk, you all piled back into his car. Steve was always a careful driver, but this was just insane. He was driving so slow, you were pretty sure that if you got out and walked you would arrive at your house first. But no one else seemed to notice, or at least they didn’t say anything about it. You figured that he was stalling again, so you decided that you wouldn’t mention it. If they really were going through all this trouble for you, the least you could do would be to not complain about it.

Almost an hour after having left the mall, Steve pulled up to your house. There were a suspicious number of cars lining the street, and all the lights in your house were turned off. Your suspicions had been right. You smiled to yourself as you hopped out of the car and walked towards Steve’s trunk to grab your bags.

“We can grab those later, let’s just head inside. Alright?” Steve asked, trying and failing to not look like he was up to something.

You nodded and followed the three of them to your front door. You put the key in the lock and turned it, pushing open the door. And just like you had thought, the lights turned on and at least twenty people jumped out and yelled, “Surprise!”

You faked as much surprise as you could muster, pretending like you didn’t have this whole thing figured out hours ago. You were pretty sure everyone knew that you knew, but if they didn’t want to mention it then neither would you.

You looked around at everyone there, feeling your smile grow wider as you saw family members and friends from high school, both of which you hadn’t seen in a while. But there was one person you didn’t see hanging out amongst the small group of people. And though you were incredibly grateful for everyone who did show, you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t hurt that Eddie wasn’t there.

It was as if Robin could read your mind, and she slid up right next to you.

“He said he was just going to be a little late. I’m sure he’ll come,” she said, trying to be hopeful.

You nodded, trying to believe what she had said. But as the time went on, and the party was slowly winding down, you could feel yourself losing hope. Even when you were blowing out your birthday candles, your eyes were locked to the front door, wishing that Eddie would show up.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

It had been almost a week since you and Eddie had broken up for the third time. And you were serious when you told yourself that you wouldn’t be giving him any more chances. You had barely left your room at all that week, not having the energy to even get out of bed some days.

You and Eddie had been together for almost two years, and now it was just over. He was the biggest chapter of your life, but now you had to start anew. And you didn’t have a clue where to start. You were so lost without him. It was like everything made you think of him and the time you had spent together.

But you knew that laying in bed mourning wouldn’t do you any good in moving on. If you really wanted to get over him, you would have to get rid of everything that reminded you of him. Which turned out to be harder than you had thought.

You grabbed an empty cardboard box from the garage and brought it back to your room. And then you got to work. You decided to start in your closet, digging through your clothes and finding everything that was Eddie’s. You found one of his leather jackets, his hellfire shirt, and a countless number of band shirts you had stolen during your many sleepovers. You folded all the clothes up and placed them in the box.

Then you turned your attention to your vanity. Stuck on your mirror was a photo booth strip from one of your first dates with Eddie. You smiled sadly as you gazed upon it, feeling both nostalgia and pain wash over you. You set it down, and you glanced over to the small box that sat upon your vanity. Pulling it open, you found numerous polaroids that you and Eddie had taken together. There were some from different dates you had gone on, candids you had sneakily taken of each other, photos from your sleepovers and the pillow forts you had made, and even a few dirty ones that Eddie had suggested the two of you take. Your stomach fluttered a bit when you saw them, but you pushed the feeling away.

You took all of the polaroids out of the box and picked up the photo booth strip again, tossing all the photos in the box on top of his clothes. You now found yourself standing in front of your dresser. A few framed photos of you and Eddie scattered the surface, and the sight of how happy you used to be only made your heart break even more. You turned the frames facedown and stacked them to one side of your dresser.

Your attention then turned to your jewelry stand that stood on your dresser. With shaky hands you reached for the guitar pick necklace Eddie had gifted you. He saw you admiring his own, so he made you a matching one. You used to wear that necklace everyday, but you had barely even touched it in the past few months. You picked it up, along with the locket Eddie had gifted you that had his initials on it and held a picture of the two of you inside. The bottom of your jewelry stand had a ring tray, but only one ring sat upon it. Eddie’s skull ring. You had loved to fiddle with his rings, so one day he slipped one off his hand and onto your own. Just thinking back to that moment had tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You grabbed the jewelry and picture frames, placing them both in the box.

You spent the next hour digging around in your room, finding everything that either belonged to Eddie or had a memory with him attached to it. You were about to put the lid on the box when you turned to look at your bed. On top of your pillow was the teddy bear Eddie had won you on your very first date. It was the fourth of July fair the town had thrown, and that night held some of the greatest memories you’ve ever had. You and Eddie had spent the whole night wandering around, playing games, going on rides, and stuffing yourselves full of junk food. He had even kissed you for the first time on top of the ferris wheel.

You picked up Mr. Snuggles and hugged him tightly one last time, before placing him in the box. You picked up the lid and admired the contents of the box one last time. His clothes, the jewelry, all the photos, every single love letter and note he had written you, every gift he had ever given you, and now, Mr. Snuggles. Sighing to yourself, you placed the lid on the box, and carried it out of your room. You had gone through all the trouble of packing everything up, you might as well go and give it to him.

When you stepped outside of your front door, you saw a package sitting by the doorstep. You placed the box you were holding back down inside your house and picked up the package. It was addressed to you, but there wasn’t a return address. Curious, you carried it back to your room and sat on your bed, opening it.

Your heart broke even more, if that was even possible, when you saw the contents of the box. It looked like Eddie had the same idea that you did, but he didn’t even have the decency to deliver it to you himself, he had decided to mail it.

You carefully pulled the contents of the box out, feeling memory after memory resurface. Most of the box contained your clothes, since you had a tendency to forget something every time you slept over. There was also your old hairbrush, a package of your makeup wipes, one of your old perfume bottles, and some of your makeup that you thought you had lost.

You thought that was everything, but something shined slightly along the edge of the box. You turned it around and saw the Metallica record you had gotten Eddie last year for Christmas. You waited all night outside a record store to get a signed copy for him. He was so happy when he saw you had gotten him a Metallica record, but he absolutely lost it when he saw that it was autographed. But the fact that he just gave it back to you? It made you feel like you had done all of that for nothing.

He had claimed it was his most prized possession, but yet he had given it back. And for some reason, that’s what confirmed it for you. That you and Eddie were really over. Part of you had always hoped that maybe he’d come back to you, having really changed. But that sliver of hope you had held on to was gone now. And the reality of it all finally sunk in. You and Eddie were over. For good. And nothing was ever going to change that.

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me

You can't get rid of it

'Cause you remember it all too well, yeah

You walked into Starcourt, feeling extremely excited. It was only a few days into November, but you were already doing some Christmas shopping. You had been brainstorming the perfect gifts for everyone for the past few months, taking note of anytime they said they wanted something. And now here you were, buying the perfect presents for your friends.

Giving people gifts was your absolute favorite part of the holiday. And so what if Christmas was well over a month away? You couldn’t bring yourself to wait any longer, not wanting to risk running out of time. You looked at all the stores surrounding you, trying to decide which one to enter first. You had a list of what you were going to get everyone in hand, and were trying to figure out which store you should go into first, when you saw him.

Eddie Munson.

You hadn’t seen him since your final breakup last summer, but here he was. Hanging out in the food court with Jeff and Gareth. You couldn’t help but stare for a minute, just overwhelmed with all the feelings of suddenly seeing him again. Gareth looked up and saw you, waving before turning his attention back to the conversation he was having with Eddie and Jeff.

You waved back and began to walk away, grateful Eddie didn’t turn around to see who his friend waved to, when you noticed something. Eddie was wearing a scarf. Which you thought was weird, considering he said he hated the feeling of them. You turned back to look at it once more, and you could almost swear that your heart stopped. The scarf he was wearing was yours. It was the one you had left at his house after getting snowed in. The two of you spent hours looking for it, but you never found it.

Now you finally realized why. He had kept it. He had held on to your scarf for two years. Even when you had broken up and returned each other's things, he kept your scarf. He had to have known it was yours, your grandmother had stitched your name into the corner.

You decided it was finally time to walk away, but the whole time you were shopping it never left your mind. Why did he still have your scarf? And why was he still wearing it? But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't think of any answer other than him missing you. You fought the urge to go find him, despite desperately wanting to. Talking to him again would only make things worse. And you couldn’t deal with losing him again.

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

Seeing Eddie with your scarf had left you shaken up for the rest of the day. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. Even when you got back to your room and collapsed on top of your bed, Eddie was still stuck in your mind. And even though you didn’t want to reminisce about it, your thoughts wandered back to the last conversation you had with Eddie.

“You didn’t show up! You promised me you would be there! I waited all night for you, and you never even called to apologize, or even explain!” you had screamed at him, tears streaming down your face.

It was the day after your 19th birthday, and Eddie decided that it would be a good idea to show up at your house, despite missing the event the day prior.

“God, how many times do I have to apologize! I said I was sorry!”

“But you don’t really mean it! You never do! You’re always late! To everything! But this time you didn’t even show up at all! And the only thing you have to say is sorry?”

“Well what else do you want from me?!”

“I don’t know, an explanation!”

Eddie sighed and shook his head. “No, I’m not dealing with this. The second I tell you, you’re gonna start attacking me all over again. It never ends with you!”

“Where were you?!” you asked him once more, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness bubble up within you.

“I was with Chrissy, alright?! She wanted some weed, so I sold her some. We got to talking, and before I knew it, I had missed your party. There! You happy?”

You froze as the words left his mouth. He missed your birthday party, the one he promised he would attend, because he was with Chrissy?! You could feel the anger within you rise, and you began to shout at him.

“You were with Chrissy?! Are you serious?! You missed my birthday because you were hanging with Chrissy?! God, Eddie! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Eddie went to say something, but you cut him off, wanting to get all of your thoughts out.

“I’ve dealt with this long enough. I’m done with the way you’ve been treating me! You never show up to my things, you never care about my feelings, and you just keep lying straight to my face! I’ve never missed any of your events, your birthdays, anything! I sat through every single Hellfire meeting because I wanted to make you happy! I did everything I could to make you happy! But it was never enough was it?

“All I’ve wanted is for you to be happy. And do you know why? Because I love you Eddie! I’ve loved you since you kissed me at the top of the ferris wheel, and I’ve been falling more and more in love with you every day! And despite all the bullshit you’ve put me through, you’ve never once said it back! Not once! Do you even know how that makes me feel?”

“How can you expect me to say I love you if I don’t?! You can’t just force your feelings onto me, and expect me to feel the same way!”

You paused, all your anger suddenly disappearing and being replaced with the most heartbreaking sadness you’ve ever felt

“You don’t love me?” you asked, your voice falling to barely above a whisper.

Eddie stayed silent, looking past you instead of meeting your eyes.

“Have you ever loved me?” you asked again.

But as the seconds went by and Eddie remained silent, you got your answer.

“Fine. Well I guess there’s no point being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same.”

“Are you seriously breaking up with me over this?” Eddie asked, scoffing slightly.

“Yeah. I guess I am.”

You brought your hands up to wipe the tears off of your face. Reliving the memory brought back all of the feelings along with it. You thought you were over it, over him. But you were wrong. He had left an imprint on you that was much deeper than you had thought it was. And there was a part of you that had begun to think that you might never truly get over him. You would just soon be able to live with the pain.

Wind in my hair, you were there

You remember it all

Down the stairs, you were there

You remember it all

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

Eddie laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. You were there. You were right there, and he didn’t even get to see you.

When he saw Gareth waving to someone from behind him, he went to turn around but Jeff told him not to. Once you had walked away, they told him that you were there. Eddie knew they were just trying to protect him, but he still wished that he could’ve seen you.

He just wanted to see you again, to apologize for everything. He had been such an asshole. A few months into your relationship, Eddie decided he wanted to try something harder than weed. He talked a big game to his customers, but he’d actually never done anything other than smoke. But unfortunately, once he started, he couldn’t get himself to stop.

The majority of the rest of your relationship was spent with him being high out of his mind. He didn’t want to tell you what he was really doing, so when he showed up late he tried to brush it off. And he had a tendency to be more defensive than usual when he was high, so anytime you confronted him, it turned into a fight.

He wanted to stop, truly he did. But it was just so hard. He had begun pulling away from you, figuring that keeping you at an arm’s length would be safer for the both of you. But he had only ended up hurting you in the process.

Chrissy knew about his problems, and had offered to help. She had gotten over bulimia, and while being “addicted” to vomiting wasn’t the same as a drug addiction, she wanted to try to help him anyways. Eddie had been trying to get clean for you before your birthday, but that night he had really bad withdrawal symptoms. He spent the whole night with Chrissy, struggling through them, only to have you dump him the next day, which made him relapse.

He never said “I love you” either, even though he did. He loved you so much. But he was just scared. Saying the words would make everything real, and if he fucked up something real it would only hurt him even more. Only now does he realize how fucked up it was to never say it back, especially after having been together for almost two years.

He had ruined everything, and all because he was scared. He was too scared to come to you for help. He was too scared to admit his feelings. And he was too scared to tell you the truth. But none of that mattered anyways. It was too late now. And you were gone, for good.

And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punch line goes

"I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age"

From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones

I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

Only a few days after you saw Eddie at the mall, you saw him again. This time he was just walking past you on the sidewalk. But he wasn’t alone. Chrissy was walking right beside him, and the sight of them together broke your heart.

You had alway thought that maybe he had been cheating on you with her. And who would even blame him? Chrissy was so much prettier than you were. She was well liked, confident, and gorgeous. She was cheer captain in high school for crying out loud. Of course Eddie would rather be with her than with you.

Hurriedly, you walked past them, not wanting to witness the two of them together anymore. You had walked away so fast you hadn’t noticed that Eddie was still wearing your scarf. Or that he looked so happy to just see you. You hadn’t noticed the hopeful look that crossed Chrissy’s face when she saw you walking towards them. She grabbed Eddie’s arm and was trying to convince him to talk to you, when you blew right past them.

Eddie’s face fell as he turned around and watched you walk away. He didn’t even want another chance. He just wanted to apologize. He wanted to explain himself. He was almost two weeks clean, which was a new record for him, and was finally feeling ready to talk to you about it. But you were already gone.

“It’s alright Eddie, you’ll get another chance,” Chrissy said, trying to be positive.

Chrissy’s optimism was one of the things that really helped him overcome his addiction. No matter how many times he messed up and relapsed, she never gave up hope in him. But now her optimism was only bringing him down. Would he get another chance to talk to you? Would you even let him talk to you? What would he even say? He had so much to apologize for, he didn’t even know where to begin. But from the way things were looking, now he might never even get the chance.

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too?

Eddie sat on his bedroom floor, his back pressed against the wall as he clutched your scarf in his hands. He held it close to him as tears began to fall down his face. The way you had looked at him earlier that day, that mix of sadness and betrayal, it wouldn’t leave his mind. All he could see was the pain on your face. And it hurt him even more to know he was the one who caused that.

He missed you so much. So much so that it physically hurt him. Some nights he couldn’t even sleep in his bed because it made him think of you. You had made so many memories with him inside his bedroom walls, and everytime he stepped foot into his room, he remembered them all.

The time he had tried to teach you how to play guitar, but you had made no progress since the both of you couldn’t stop laughing. The first time you had made a pillow fort on this bed, and the second time, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth. Countless mornings spent tangled together, just soaking up each other’s presence. And all the intimate moments you had shared on this very bed. He remembered all of it. Everywhere he looked brought up a different memory of you. He couldn’t escape it, and despite how much it hurt, he didn’t want to. He was grateful for the memories, because even though you were gone, he could still relive all the happy moments he had with you, even if it was only in his head.

All he wanted was another chance. But he knew he could never put you through that. He had already hurt you so much, and he didn’t want to risk doing it again. Even if he was clean now, he knew getting back with you was a bad idea. He didn’t want to risk relapsing and hurting you again, and he didn’t want to have to drag you back into the mess he called his life.

So he would just have to learn how to live without you. Even though he knew it wouldn’t be possible. He could survive without you, sure. But he would never be able to live. Not when you were the only person who ever truly made him feel alive.

'Cause in this city's barren cold

I still remember the first fall of snow

And how it glistened as it fell

I remember it all too well

You sat on your bed, staring out of your window and watching as the snow fell to the ground. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to the time you and Eddie spent all day outside in the snow before getting snowed in at his trailer. That was still one of the best days of your life.

You taught him how to ice skate, and even though he was still horrible at it by the end of your lessons, he was at least falling over a lot less. You had decided that you wanted to make a snowman, and you had challenged Eddie to a snowman building contest. But just as you were about to finish your snowman, a snowball hit your back.

You turned around to find Eddie facing the other direction, attempting to look busy, but you saw right through him. You quickly made a snowball and chucked it at him. You had both forgotten about the snowmen you were building, and ended up having the most epic snowball fight of your life. And you had won of course. He claimed that he let you win, but you knew the truth.

When you laid on the ground to make a snow angel, the snow soon began to fall harder, and the wind picked up. You and Eddie grabbed your things and took off running for his trailer, not wanting to get caught outside in the snowstorm. After you finally got back, and changed into some of his pajamas, Eddie handed you some hot cocoa and then you spent the rest of the night watching movies, cuddled together on the couch, until you both fell asleep.

Even now, two years later, every time you saw snow you couldn’t help but think of that day. Looking back on the memory, you felt yourself smiling. Maybe your relationship with Eddie wasn’t all bad.

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well?

Just between us, do you remember it all too well?

Just between us, I remember it all too well

“Ok, so you don’t want to talk to them?” Chrissy asked, looking at Eddie from across the picnic table.

Eddie nodded.

“But you still want to apologize?”

“Yep,” Eddie replied.

He was beginning to feel hopeless. He knew you would never talk to him again, but he still wanted to apologize. He felt like he owed it to you. A proper apology for all the bullshit that he put you through. But he had no idea where to start. So he called Chrissy and asked her to meet him at the picnic table in the woods.

They spent the first half an hour just trying to figure out what he should say, when he said that doing it face to face wouldn’t be the best idea.

“Hmm,” Chrissy thought, tapping her figure against her chin. “What about calling them?”

“It’s the same thing. They’d hang up before I could even get two words out. This is hopeless!”

Eddie sighed, and put his head down on his arms which were folded up on the table. Chrissy stayed silent for a minute, pondering another way he could apologize and actually get you to hear him out.

“Not necessarily. I think I have an idea! Come on!” Chrissy stood up and walked to the other side of the table, pulling Eddie up as well.

“Where are we going?” he grumbled, following her as she dragged him through the woods.

“Back to your trailer. I think I finally figured something out!”

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well

“Do you really think it’s gonna work?” Eddie asked, looking up at Chrissy who was standing beside him.

Eddie sat at the kitchen table, his notebook open in front of him, and holding a pen in his hand. Chrissy had suggested that he write you a letter. That way he could say everything he wanted to say, and if he didn’t sign it until the end, then hopefully you would read it instead of throwing it away immediately.

“Yeah, I do! And besides, what’s the worst that could happen? They don’t read it? Then we try something else! They deserve an apology, and I know you really want to give one to them. I’m not going to give up that easily, and I’m not going to let you either!”

Eddie smiled at Chrissy’s words. It had been a while since he’d had a friend this dedicated to helping him. Sure he had Jeff and Gareth, but when he told them about having been dumped by you for the final time, they just said that it sucked and that they’d help him move on. Which sure, that was nice and all, but Chrissy wanted to help him make things right. And that meant so much to him.

So he began to write. First he just wrote down everything he needed to apologize for, wanting to make sure that he didn’t forget to include anything in his letter. By the time he had finished, the list was very long. But he didn’t want to leave anything out. He wanted to apologize for all of it. Then he began to draft. He had written ten letters already, deciding that each one wasn’t good enough.

“It’s ok. You got this Eddie,” Chrissy reassured him.

Eddie flipped to the next blank page and began writing once more. He made sure he apologized for everything that he needed to, but he didn’t stop there. He came clean about everything. About his struggles, his feelings, and why he had begun to pull away from you. He knew he didn’t deserve another chance with you, but he still wanted you to know how he really felt.

When he had finally finished, the letter was almost three pages front and back. It was a lot longer than he had expected it to be, but that didn’t matter. He had said everything he needed to say and then some. Now he just hoped that you’d read it.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it

Eddie and Chrissy walked to your house, which wasn’t that far from the trailer park. Memories of the last time Eddie had been there played in the back of his mind. He could feel his heart pounding as he got closer to your front door. Chrissy stayed at the end of your driveway, wanting to let Eddie do this by himself.

His hands were shaking as he arrived in front of your door. Anxiously, he turned around to look at Chrissy, who nodded encouragingly, and gave him a thumbs up. Eddie took a deep breath in as he turned to face your front door once more. He placed the letter on the ground right in front of the door, and then he rang the bell. He quickly ran back down the driveway, and he and Chrissy hid behind a car that was parked on the side of the road, watching the front door and hoping that you would get the letter.

Only a few moments later, your front door opened to reveal you standing behind it. You looked around outside, a bit confused, before your gaze fell to the letter on the ground. You picked it up and saw your name written on the envelope. There wasn’t any address or stamp, so you figured that whoever had written this had hand delivered it.

You went back inside, letter in your hand, and walked towards your bedroom. After sitting down on your bed, you stared at the envelope in your hands for a good few minutes. Something about the whole thing seemed strange to you. Like whoever had written you this letter had deemed it so important, that not even the post office could be trusted with it.

You had half a mind to throw it out, not wanting to bother reading a letter from some stranger. But your curiosity got the better of you, and you pulled the letter out. You unfolded it and saw that it was three pages long.

Before you could even read it, you recognized the handwriting. It was Eddie’s. You felt like you should’ve just thrown it out, not wanting to bother hearing anything that he had to say. But that fact that the letter was both hand written and hand delivered made you realize that it might actually be important. So you began reading.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it

Dear y/n,

I know sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it. Especially after everything that I’ve done to you. To us. But I just had to apologize. For everything. Or at least everything that I can remember. I’m sure that there’s more that I don’t, but I’m sorry for all of that too.

I’m sorry for being late all the time. I’m sorry for not showing up to any of your things, but still expecting you to show up to mine. I’m sorry for all the times that I’ve lied, and all the times that I’ve made you feel crazy because of that. I’m sorry for leaving you alone at parties, without giving you the real reasons why. I’m sorry for pulling away from you, emotionally and physically. I’m sorry for all the fights. I’m sorry for all the times that I’ve made you cry. I’m sorry for every single time that I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry for never telling you the truth. And I’m sorry for never saying I love you.

That’s my biggest regret. Never getting to tell you how I truly felt, because I was just too scared to say it. But I do love you y/n. I love you more than anything or anyone in this world. I love you so much it scares me. That’s why I never said it back. I was scared that if I said how I felt, then you would suddenly wake up and realize you didn’t want me anymore. And I knew that saying how I felt would only make it hurt that much more if we broke up. Well look where that got me, huh?

And I’m sorry for never telling you why I was acting the way I was. I was too scared to go to you for help, so I went to Chrissy instead. That’s why I left you alone at that party when I followed her off, and that’s why I missed your birthday party. The truth is, I was struggling. A few months after we started dating, I started doing more than just weed. And I got addicted. It was really bad. I didn’t realize it then, but being high all the time turned me into such an asshole. And you didn’t deserve that.

I tried to get clean before your birthday, but the night off I was going through horrible withdrawal symptoms. Chrissy came over and helped me. And I went over to your place to apologize the next day, but I was too scared to tell you the truth. And then you ended things. I relapsed again after that, but then I realized that it would never make me feel better. Drugs are what ruined everything in the first place.

I finally got clean after that. And I haven’t relapsed since. I wanted to apologize to you when you were walking past Chrissy and I, but you walked off so fast. And I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to talk to me either.

This was the only way that I could think of to apologize without you running away. Well technically Chrissy thought of it, but I wrote the letter so that has to count for something!

I’m not asking you for another chance. I don’t deserve that. And you definitely don’t deserve having to put up with my shit again. I just needed to apologize. For everything. I know I hurt you so many times, and that’s one of my biggest regrets. I never wanted to hurt you. But I did, and know I have to live with that. But I just hope that this makes things better. Even if you never want to talk to me again, that’s fine. I just need you to know how sorry I truly am.

I hope you have a great life, y/n. I hope you find someone who loves you, and treats you better than I ever did. I hope that you find real happiness, and that no one ever hurts you like I did. Because you deserve so much better than that. You deserve the world and more! And I hope you find someone who can give it to you.

I’ll always love you, y/n. I always have and I always will.

Love, Eddie

Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there

Down the stairs, I was there, I was there

Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there

It was rare, you remember it all too well

#imagine #imagines #x reader #oneshot #smut #stranger things smut #stranger things oneshot #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things #st1 #st2 #st3 #st4 #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn oneshot #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn #all too well #all too well ten minute version #taylor swift #angst

[tessiex17]

MY CHILDREN I HAVE PROVIDED YOU WITH ANOTHER RAYMAN FIC

You will be happy to hear that this is a 2 parter (second part is in development) since this is infact already 2,147 words WHICH IS KINDA LONG FOR ONE CHAPTER

This does have a fem reader BTW!!!

Short description: set when rayman is attending collage in America before he became famous and he gets invited to a party where he meets y/n

(Also if there are any mistakes/errors in my spelling PLZ let me know as written helps me improve with my dyslexia so any feedback will be amazing 😋)

Tw: alot of swearing, smoking and alcohol, abusive behaviour

"What am I doing?"

Rayman muttered to himself regretfully as he walked down the cold grid iron streets to the address the party was supposedly located. Rayman has always been a social creature, he loved the idea of meeting new people and going on adventures with them but that mindset had been slowly chipped away during his time in America. Specifically American school. He struggled to make social connections in his classes and was quickly deemed an outcast by his peers which was heart breaking for Rayman because he know it was only because he was alien, the people that liked to make fun of him made that fact pretty clear. It was something he couldn't change and even though he didn't choose to look the way he does or be where he's from he still got hate for it and he never really understood why.

Which is why he was shocked when he was invited to a house party by one of his class mates. He just knew he couldnt miss this opportunity to finally mend his social status and make a friend! Which leads him here. Walking towards the door of a house he's never been at before. He let's out a Sigh before raising his fist and firmly knocking the door. He knew he was at the right place, the sound of music and enthusiastic people could be heard quite clearly through the door (it made him almost feel bad for the neighbours).

Before rayman had the chance to knock once more the door swung open revealing the very drunk but very happy class mate that invited Rayman in the first place

"BROOO! You made it! I thought you where gonna be a no show"

The class mate ushered rayman in shutting the door behind him.

"Hehe what can I say, im a man of my word"

Rayman chuckled slightly nervous but intertained by how friendly his class mate was being. He finally takes a look around the house to see that this party was a lot bigger than he thought. There was at least 10 people in each room. Some where in groups chatting away to eachother, some where playing drinking games and others where dancing. A small smile started to grow on raymans face. Everyone seemed to be having fun so it shouldn't be so hard for him to join in right?

"If you wanting a drink feel free to grab whatever you want in the kitchen!"

The drunk class mate spoke a lil more slurred but still sounding enthusiastic. Rayman just gave him a smile and a small thanks before watching him stumble back to a group of people he must have been previously chatting with. 'Now what?' Rayman asked himself as he looked around anxiety curling in his gut like a snake. Does he just go up and chat to someone? He decides before doing anything he should take his coat off which he then hung up on the pegs by the door. He walks further into the house seeing people having fun. ' they make it look so easy' he thought to himself sullenly but a small creature in the corner of his vision distracts him from his thoughts.

"A cat!"

Rayman says aloud to himself before following the cute Calico cat into the kitchen. He doest pay much mind to the people as they seem to be talking amongst themselves. He crouches down In front of the cat petting it gently

"Arnt you just a sweetheart~"

He cous while scratching behind the cats ear. He spots a purple collar and a little silver name tag around the cats neck reaching for it to find out what the cats called. He flips the little silver tag and reads it

"Well hello kaya, aret you a cutie~"

Kaya looks at him Acknowledging he is speaking to her. She let's out a high pitch soft meow that makes rayman chuckle. He always loved animals.

"Of course your making friends with the animals considering you practically are one"

A voice filled with poison and Sadistic Humor spoke from behind him. He looked away from the cat and up to the owner of the voice. It was a guy in a very generic outfit and a blue hat.

"Excuse me?"

He spoke confuse hoping maybe the guy was meaning it as some sort of distasteful joke? Oh lord how he hoped.

"Who the fuck invited this thing to the party!"

Blue hat guy shouted loudly while pointing at rayman looking around the room as he did so. A few people began to giggle and rayman could feel all hope for having a fun night disappear.

"I'm not a 'thing' dipshit!"

Rayman retorted embarrassment making his face feel hot.

"Well what are you then huh?"

He leaned in close to raymans face. There was a short moment of silence before he continued

"Because all I can see is some sort of alien freak!"

The smell of alcohol was reaking from his breath. Rayman didn't like how close he was. How angry he was getting the more he talked. He opened his mouth to speak.

"I-"

"What the fuck is your problem!"

An angry feminine voice spoke causing both rayman and the drunk guy to turn and face her. She stormed towards the both of them before pushing the drunk guy away from rayman.

"You asshole!, what gives you the right to speak to anyone like that!"

Oh lord was this girl mad. Rayman looked up at her in disbelief as she shouted at the guy who was previously insulting him. Was she defending him? She stood tall in front of rayman making sure she was blocking him out of the drunk guys line of site.

"Hes a fucking freak just look at him!"

The drunk guy slurred his words trying to justify his point but the scowl on the girls face just grew deeper.

"Your fucking disgusting"

She spoke lowly to him

"Thinking you have the right to speak to somone like that, do you think your better than him because he's not from here or something?"

She asked with genuine confusion In her voice

"Is that why? Do you feel more entitled than him because he looks different from you?, because if that's the case then that sound pretty fucking racist if you ask me"

She quirks her brow as if asking a question. He stays silent but his anger is clear on his face

"Men like you disgust me"

She spoke her words laced with anger before she turned around and faced rayman. She jerked her head to the side indicating towards the door

"Let's go"

She said kindly to Rayman who looked up at her like she was some sort of godess that saved him. He nodded quickly before grabbing his jacket and following her outside.

"Well that was a shit show"

He muttered to himself while following after her. She made her way to the sidewalk before taking a seat on the edge of it. She looked over to rayman and patted the place next to her offering him to sit down which he does. The air is chillie enough to see your breath as a moment of silence fell apon them. She pulled a packet of cigarettes out her pocket before offering one to him which he decides to take.

"Thank you..."

Rayman spoke timidly.

"Not just for the cigarette obviously but for everything that went on in there"

That got a little giggle out of her. She brought the cigarette up to her lips taking a long inhale of it.

"It's okay, that guys was being a prick"

She faced rayman with a slightly sullen expression.

" I'm y/n, I don't think I got your name?"

"It's rayman... thank you y/n"

She chuckled again a small smile growing on her face.

"You've already thanked me"

She spoke sweetly

"besides I couldn't just stand and watch. That guy was being cruel for literally no reason"

"People stand and watch all the time"

Rayman spoke sadly but honestly his eyes avoiding hers

"Your the first person who hasn't..."

He looked back up at her to see her intently watching him. There was something behind her eyes he couldn't quite place. Anger?, sadness?, he wasn't sure but he just knew that the feelings weren't directed at him.

"Don't say that man, your gonna make me cry"

She joked half heartdly the sound of her voice wavering was clear.

"Oh nonono!, im so sorry!"

Rayman spoke in a panic

"I wasn't trying to upset you-"

"No no, don't worry!"

She placed a finger over his lips in order to get him to stop talking. He's silent. Pleading eyes staring up to gentle one's as she moves her hand away from his mouth.

"It just makes me upset that nobody was willing to help you before. Don't feel like you need to sensor yourself for my benefit"

She spoke softly to him. Rayman was starting to feel like he didn't have to be so much on edge now that it was just them two alone which was new for him. Usually he had to be more alert if hes gonna be by himself with somone. Even thought he didn't know y/n that much he still felt safer alone with her than back in the house. She took a deep drag from her cigarette and so did he.

They sat there together for a while. Talking and laughing between cigarettes and alcohol. Y/n decided to share a good few bottles of her own alcohol with rayman. It wasn't the nicest of drink but it was good enough and strong too. It didn't take long for the both of them to be intoxicated. They where sitting closer together now the alcohol making them loose the concept of personal space as they chatted.

"Hey this place blows, why don't we go back to my place?"

Y/n suggested as she took another swig out her bottle

"We have been sitting outside getting drunk ourselves, would be warmer at yours too"

Rayman spoke semi to himself as he pondered on the idea

"Kmonnnn~"

Y/n whined as she grabbed one of raymans shoulders and shook him playful chanting "My house! My house!" Over and over while laughing

"Okay okay!"

Rayman laughed placing his hand ontop of the one y/n placed on his shoulder in hopes it would get her to stop shacking him

"It is better than staying outside the party we kinda just walked out on"

He chuckled as he stood up reaching a hand out for y/n to help her up. She takes it as rayman pulls her up onto her feet. Y/n thanks him before giving herself a big stretch followed by a pleased groan

"Ahh~ Alright!, let's go!"

She glanced over the floor making sure she didn't leave anything behind before looking at rayman a smile spreading across her face.

"We're actually not that far from my house probably like a 10-15 minute walk roughly"

She tilts her head a little to see if raymans okay with that. He gives her a smile and a goofy thumbs up.

"All good, lead the way!"

He smiled enthusiastically. Y/n just laughs before turning around and walking down the street. She checks over her shoulder to see if rayman is following and motions with her hand for him to catch up. Rayman jogs up next to her before sticking to a walking pace. He doesn't know if it's the alcohol or not but he's having more fun tonight than he has in a while but whatever it is he doesn't want this good feeling to go away. Then suddenly y/n gasps

"Oh my god! I just released somthing"

Y/n spoke in a shocked voice

"What is it?"

Rayman look up to her worried as they walked.

"I can order McDonald's!"

Rayman playful hits her shoulder while chuckling

"You bitch, I though you where gonna say something serious"

"I am serious!"

They both laughed as they walked

"Somthing to eat does sound good though"

Rayman agreed and nodded with this idea they began cooking up

"I just want food"

Y/n whined as she walked down the street and before they knew it they where at her house.

"Home~ glorious home~"

Y/n sung aloud to herself while approaching the door making rayman chuckled in amusement. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her key sticking it into the door and opening it. She stood to the side of the door before doing a little bow while gesturing rayman to enter

"Ladies first?"

She teased as rayman walked by rolling his eyes but the smirk on his face was hard to hide. She chuckled at his lack of a reaction before closing the door behind them

End of chapter 1

So what did u guys thinkkkkk 😋😋

I gave the reader and rayman a silly lil dynamic bc I love bammy interactions I think it's so funny so I made them bams

If you have any feedback LMK and i wanna hear ur opinions of if it should stay platonic between rayman and the reader or should I make it more romantic 🤭

THANK U FOR READING IF U MADE IT THIS FAR XOXO

#rayman #captain laserhawk #clhabdr #rayman fandom #rayman fanfic #clh au #clh rayman #fan fiction #rayman x reader #x reader

[eddiemunsonssoulmate]

♠ Eddie Munson Masterlist ♠

I’ve fallen so deep into the Eddie hole there’s no sun down here so here’s my masterlist in case you wanna join me in my little hole.

♣ Eddie x Reader ♣

Mostly one shots and longer fics are here. If it’s a series/multichapter it’ll have it’s own little masterlist on here too.

• The only heaven I’ll be sent to is when I’m alone with you || Smut

You and Eddie have some time to spare before D&D starts. It escalates quite quickly.

• Strange Love | Part 1 | Part 2  || Smut, Fluff, Angst

The popular girl mingling with the school’s freak should have been outrageous. Yet you chose him as a quick escape from reality because he seemed to be the only person able to give you what you needed. You had no idea that the escape he offered you would turn into something so much more complicated.

•  Wanna piss off your parents? ||

You asked Eddie to date you to piss off your parents. It works better than expected.

comin soon

•  Master of puppets I’m pulling your strings || Smut

He always acts like a king when he’s playing D&D, this time sitting on his throne and grinning at you without any shame as he almost killed off your character. Time for payback.

•  I just fell in love, you should try it, it's a hell of a drug ||

tba

•  You are my strange addiction ||

tba

•  Roll the dice || Fluff

You didn’t understand the appeal of this fantasy game until he took the time to teach you the basics and now you’re loving it

coming soon

•  The Devil Doesn’t Bargain || Angst, Fluff

You and Eddie are best friends, he is always there for you if you need him. One day you knock at his door after you went back to your abusive Ex the night before.

• Say you'll still be by my side || Hurt & Comfort, Canon Divergent

Eddie made it out of the Upside Down, barely alive. He’s in a coma now but you refuse to let him go.

• The Song of the Sea || Alternative Universe - Pirate & Princess, Hurt & Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Smut

What would happen if a princess who wants to escape her golden cage of royalty finds herself in the arms of a pirate who is not just yearning for the sea anymore? You’ve been trapped inside the castle all your life, only dreaming about adventures and true love. He had always been a child of the sea, but something was missing in his life. You had no idea that this man, who you met by pure accident, would change the course of your life forever. Or maybe it was fate, about to meddle with your life like a puppet master playing the strings?

♣ Eddie x Reader Blurbs/Requests ♣

Small blurbs I come up with that aren’t really long enough to fit in the above category or request from you guys. If you want to request something, check my FAQ, it might help you and me out.

•  Emergency Kiss

Andy wouldn’t leave you alone until an opportunity to escape his begging came along.

• Tattoos and community pools

The Hellfire Club is as the community pool. You and Eddie have been dating in secret for a short time and he finds something on your skin that has him all hot and bothered.

•  Special piercings

Eddie notices your piercings for the first time.

• Thunderstorm Love

The thunderstorm might have ruined chilling in the boat in the middle of lover’s lake but it lead to some other interesting things.

•  A Little Unsteady

Eddie has no idea why you’re avoiding him and everyone else so he decides to check on you, not knowing you’re currently fighting your demons.

• I’ve got you, brother.

What really happened with Eddie in the Upside Down.

Canon divergent fix it fic.

• All the whispers in my ear

After Eddie barely survived the attack in the Upside Down, he has his own way of dealing with his trauma and you’re not a fan of it.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #stranger things fanfic

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I suspect I know the answer but. AITA for "disappearing" from my online accounts pretty regularly?

I (22) have been fairly active in online fandom culture since I was ~13. Most of that has been on tumblr, some on twitter/tiktok/discord. I bounce around between different fandoms-- there's not really any one fandom that has stuck since I was a kid-- and I'm not a big creator. I don't do art, I occasionally write fanfic but never anything that's gotten super famous (which I'm cool with, I write for the enjoyment of myself and the like 5 other freaks who like the same things I do. it would honestly really bother me if I got too much attention.)

I also have some issues with paranoia and social detachment. I dealt with rather severe childhood abuse, which I'm not going to discuss, but which basically means I'm very emotionally detached. I have solo hobbies i really enjoy, and I like discussing common interests (like fandom stuff) with people, but I've never really had friends/romantic interests, and have zero interest in either of those things. The only people I'm really close to are my siblings. I'm definitely not an introvert, not shy/socially anxious, and not lonely. I have morals and care about society in a general sense, and I want the best for people, so I try to be polite and a Good Person as much as possible-- but ultimately I don't feel any kind of attachment to other people. I really don't want to hurt people, I just want to be left alone.

I really try to politely communicate this to people, since I've had quite a few incidents where I've been told I "lead people on", or people thinking we're friends and then getting upset when they realize I really don't care that much about them. It does make me feel bad to hurt others like that (and is also frustrating to deal with), but I can't exactly force myself to have emotions. I get along well with my irl coworkers/classmates/roommates, since they understand I just need a lot of space. Where I may be TA is with online friends.

About once every 6-12 months, I delete my entire online presence and start over. I orphan my ao3 fics, delete any and all accounts, and make sure my new accounts don't in any way link back to my old accounts. Usually when I do this it's because 1 I've changed interests and don't care about my old fandom, or 2 I feel like the people I know online start getting too close and emotionally attached to me. I usually post an explanation a few days before so people don't think something bad happened, saying that I'm going to be taking a break from social media for a while, and if anyone asks me for another way to contact me I just say I'm going to be completely offline. Then I just.... wipe everything and start over. I don't really know what my old mutuals are doing and don't particularly care? Like obviously I wish all the best for them, but I just don't think about them at all.

I've been doing this since I was a young teenager, but I was discussing fandom/social media presence with some irl classmates recently and brought it up. The reactions ranged from "weird but harmless" to "super mean and hurtful to the people you abandoned".

So: tumblr, AITA for disappearing?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[multifandomfanficss]

Home Is Wherever You Are P1

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader

With a very heavy emphasis on platonic!Christopher Smith/Peacemaker

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Adrian Chase Masterlist

Prompt: You jump in front of an explosive device to protect Adrian from the blast and end up getting separated from him with no way back.

Warnings: mentions of trafficking, mentions of child abuse, panic, meltdown, crying, divorce, mentions of August Smith, cannon typical Peacemaker violence and language

A/N: In July I started cooking up a new idea with the help of my friend @countlambula and what was originally meant to be a 2 parter moved to a 4 parter and somehow I ended with 7 parts?! Not quite sure how that happened! I’m very excited to share what I spent a huge part of my summer working on. I hope you guys enjoy!! Also despite the main ship being Adrian x Reader there is A LOT of platonic!Chris content in this fic so I really do hope Chris fans can read and enjoy this! I loved getting into the thick of Chris’ backstory for this! All of the 11th Street Kids have their own importance in this series, but it is very Adrian and Chris centric. Please enjoy!!

“I love you.” You sighed in relaxation, smiling as you were gently woken up by your boyfriend.

“Well somebody has to.” Adrian joked.

“Shut up!” You lightly hit him on the chest, laughing.

“Never.” He smiles, kissing you. You could look at his beautiful, infectious smile for hours. Your phones both buzz at the same time, an indication that it’s probably a text in the 11th Street Kids chat because you both got it.

“Didn’t we just get home from a mission?” You groan.

“There’s no time to rest for super badass super cool heroes, babe.” Adrian kisses you on the cheek quickly before getting out of bed.

“Okay, but if we have to pair up there is no way in hell I’m going with Chris again. Last time he told me I looked like his sexy babysitter growing up. Like who the fuck says that? Our lives aren’t some shitty porno and it’s almost like he doesn’t even give a fuck that we’re dating.” You sigh.

“Yeah he constantly tells me that you’re way out of my league. I think his exact words were I’m in little league and you’re on major leagues, but I don’t know. I was never on the bowling team.”

“I think he meant baseball, honey.” You smile at him, finding his little knowledge of sports cute.

“That might actually make more sense with his home run and base metaphors! It took me way too long to figure out what that shit meant. Why can’t people just say what they mean?” He questions.

“Because they’re trying too hard to sound smart. I think sometimes not saying things they actually mean, but understanding that’s not exactly what they meant makes them feel smarter. They don’t know lots of facts like you do and they definitely can’t come up with intricate strategies either.” You smile at him, taking his hand in yours. You watch his smile grow, but there’s something more behind his eyes. He seems moved.

“How do you always do that?” He asks.

“What?”

“How do you always make me feel so smart and validated?” He clarifies.

“Because you are smart. You’re a hell of a lot smarter than Chris and if anyone gave you a second and actually listened to you, they’d realize that. You helped save the world last year. There’s no way they could have done that without you. If it weren’t for you, Chris’ dad probably would have killed him that day, honestly.” As you speak Adrian starts to realize.

“I tried to tell Peacemaker about the gaps in the armor, but he didn’t listen.” He reminds you.

“Well that’s because he’s too deep in his own bullshit to see past it. He should have listened to you, but this isn’t just about him being stubborn. I don’t think most people would have noticed such a small detail like that. Give yourself some credit.” You kiss him again.

“You know you’re like everything to me right? I’ve never felt this way about a person before. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had feelings for other people, but like…it’s like I just never fit in as a kid. I just kinda felt like an alien who crash landed here as a baby and I know I’m not, but I just didn’t feel human. You make me feel human.” He’s giving you that look he gives people when he’s worried he’s said something a little too out of pocket or strange.

“I get what you mean. It’s almost like we were made for each other. We’re each other’s rocks…wait does that sound too cheesy?” You look at him, blushing.

“No! I love rocks! I had a rock collection when I was a little kid!” You giggle at how cute he is.

“Me too! My mom would find rocks in the machine every time she did laundry because I would stuff my pockets!” You tell him and you both laugh. Then your phones go off again, interrupting your good morning. You sigh. “Harcourt’s gonna kill us if we’re late.” You kiss him one more time before getting out of bed and heading to the shower.

“Let her kill us.” He laughs, smirking, following you to the shower.

Several hours later you found yourself sneaking through a warehouse. You didn’t quite know what to expect, you just knew a lot of people had gone missing at the hands of this guy. You figured maybe they were being killed off or trafficked. If you knew what you know now maybe you would have done things differently. Maybe you wouldn’t have even done them at all. You wished you were at home with Adrian. Adrian. You may never see him again…

You were running after the guy when he pulled a grenade on you. Adrian had survived a grenade once, but you didn’t think he would survive again. You on the other hand were testing out new armor from ARGUS that could probably withstand the blast, so you did what anyone would do for the person they love the most. You pushed him out of the way. Your ears were ringing and everything was so bright. You think you hear Adrian and maybe some of your other teammates screaming your name, but you’re not sure. Suddenly you’re on the ground, but the ground is different… you try to open your eyes, but they’re still strained from the bright light and now you feel lightheaded and nauseous. You black out.

You wake up to arms shaking you.

“Adrian?” You question in a whiney tone. You open your eyes to find a construction worker looking over you.

“I don’t know who that is. What even happened to you?“ You blinked a couple times, moving around slowly, getting your bearings. “You’re in my construction site for the new factory warehouse that’s going up. What happened? Did you slip down the dirt mound and hit your head?”

“I- I must have…” Your voice trails off as you try to make sense of everything.

“This is going to be so much paperwork.” The worker sighs.

“I’m sorry… what town am I in?” You ask.

“Evergreen, Washington.”

“I don’t remember there being any big construction sites like this recently.” You try to think of any signs indicating any recent work sites.

“We just broke ground yesterday. I’m surprised you didn’t see it on the news.” The worker helps you up.

“I don’t tend to watch the news. My boyfriend thinks it’s depressing. I usually get my news elsewhere, but I’ve been a little busy to read up on it in the past few days.” You smile at the worker, thinking of Adrian.

“Like the newspaper?” He asks.

“No, online.”

“On what? You wait in line?”

“No… like the internet…” You give him a confused smile.

“Oh, I don’t mess with that new stuff. I don’t want robots in my house, stealing my information. You young people always just want things faster, faster, faster.” You tried to refrain from giving the man an odd look. He’s probably from one of the more rural areas. You knew how radically conservative Evergreen could be at first hand, having met Chris’ dad and been told stories of how he grew up. You were just happy Chris’ dad was dead. As awful as that sounds you’d hate to run into him.

“Yeah…” You give a nervous laugh. “Well thank you, but I should probably head out before your supervisor notices.” You quickly excuse yourself, walking down the street. You pulled out your phone, but had no service, so you put it away. That’s odd. Usually there’s dead zones in town, but you didn’t think it was this bad. As you walk down the street you see a beautiful vintage car parked by the side of the road. It’s in pretty good condition.

“I love your vintage car! What year is it?” You ask the woman getting out of it.

“What this clunker? I got it from my parents. It’s only an 81, but I guess it’s getting old now. It’s got tons of miles on it. They just got a new car, so they gave me their old one.” She says, locking her door.

“They didn’t wanna keep it?” You ask in shock.

“Why would they? It’s old.” You look at her in confusion before she excuses herself to walk into the grocery store. Guess some people just don’t know the value of collectibles.

Today has been fucking weird. How did you even end up in that construction site anyway? You must have gone for a walk this morning and fell in, but it’s a little alarming you don’t remember. You could walk home, but it’s just so far. You walk into a nearby corner store hopping they have wifi to connect to. You couldn’t call Adrian without service, but maybe if you could get wifi you could get him a message to come pick you up or you could order an Uber.

You walked into the building and made your way up to the counter. “Hi, do you have wifi here?” You ask.

“No, sorry we don’t sell that.” The teenage cashier dismisses you and goes back to the pad of paper they’re doodling on.

“Okay… do you know anywhere near here that has wifi?” You ask.

“I don’t even know what wifi is. I could call the hardware store and see if they have some.” They look at you like you’re the stupid one.

“What do you mean call the hardware store?”

“We have a phone behind the counter.”

“How do you not know what wifi is? Wireless internet?” You stare at them, losing your mind a bit.

“You think we have a computer here? This is Evergreen. Half the town is poor as shit. You’re not gonna find a computer in a gas station. Go to the library. They just got another one.” The teenager rolls their eyes at you.

“Can I at least use your phone?” You ask, trying to keep your patients with the idiot in front of you. How do they not know what wifi is?

“You have to use the pay phone next door. My boss said this is a business only phone.”

“The pay phone… What is this? 1985? I didn’t even know pay phones still existed.”

“Well some of us again can’t afford a cellphone. Not to mention, my mom says they fuck with your brain.” They roll their eyes again.

“It’s the 21st century who cares what their mother says? Practically everyone has a phone?” You give them a strange look.

“I don’t know what you smoked before you walked in here, but you’re still half a decade away from the 21st century.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You look at them dumbfounded before it all starts to register. The comments about the internet being new, no wifi, no cellphones, the vintage car. You feel your ears start to ring as your eyes begin to tear up. You feel like you’re underwater. You take off, booking it down several blocks. You’re out of breath and you have a cramp, but you don’t care. You keep running. You’re sweating, but you keep running. You can taste metal in your mouth, but you keep running. You keep going. You have to. Finally you reach it. You stand in front of the building, catching your breath as you watch people walk in and out of Henelotter Video. Your heart is in your throat.

“No…” You look at it and begin to cry in shock at what was once your headquarters… or you guess what will one day be… That day hasn’t come yet. You walk over to a newspaper box and grab a free local paper. You see the date says August 31st, 1994. Fuck. You drop the paper, rushing to the back of the building. You collapse on the ground against the back wall of a building that should feel more familiar to you than it is. You remember now. The grenade must have been some sort of weaponized time travel. The people weren’t being killed or trafficked. They were being displaced in time. You sob quietly, not trying to cause a scene. This wasn’t supposed to be this way.

You lean against the building staring out at the parking lot, the parking lot where you shared your first kiss with Adrian. You had just gotten back from a mission that he was a little too reckless on and you needed to tell him how you felt in case you never got the chance again. You look over at the dumpster, clean of the graffiti it will one day be littered with. That was the dumpster he was hiding behind when you first met him as Vigilante.

Adrian… You may never get to see your perfect boyfriend again. He was by no means actually perfect, but he was perfect to you. He was your personal version of perfect and you knew you’d never find anyone else like him again. Now you may never see him again…

You cry until it starts to grow dark. You wonder about what you’ll do. Anything you do could change the future. What if changing the future makes it so you never meet Adrian or what if you change something and it branches off into a different future and you get stuck away from him in a parallel universe? You’re not a time travel scientist. Anything could fucking happen! The only thing you do know is that you’re alone and it’s getting dark. If you’re getting your timeline right, Chris’ dad would be coming out soon with his awful fucking army and you knew if they tried to fight you, you wouldn’t be able to take all of them on your own. They rule the streets in these years. You pull out your wallet from your pocket to find you have enough money to at least go get dinner. Your debit card won’t work, but you have just enough cash. You head to Fennel Fields because you knew it would probably be the only consistent thing left in town. You just wanted something familiar.

As you’re seated, an overwhelmed waitress rushes past you saying “I’ll be right with you!”

“Take your time. I practically have all the time in the world… like 30 years of time…” You whisper the last part under your breath. The overworked waitress runs back to you and apologizes.

“Hi, my name is Diane. Can I get you something to drink?” You want to order a soda, but decide against it to save money.

“Uh… I guess water will have to be fine.”

“You don’t look so sure. It’s free refills.” She smiles at you.

“I- I’m okay…” You stutter, tired. You could really use the caffeine, but shouldn’t.

“Well if you could have any pop in the machine which one would you pick?” She asks.

“I’m really fine with water…” You laugh nervously.

“Just humor me.” She smiles at you.

“Uh…maybe a Diet Coke…” You smile shyly at her. She leaves and comes back with a Diet Coke.

“On the house.” She smiles at you again. Something about her is so comforting.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t possibly-“

“Take it. You look like you’ve had a long day. I know I have.” She smiles at you.

“You’re very kind.” You smile back, taking a sip, letting the cool bubbly liquid trickle down your throat, which is sore from crying.

“Now what are we doing for food?” She asks.

“Uh…I’m gonna be really honest with you. I know most restaurants won’t let you order a kids meal if you’re over 12, but I’m really tight on cash, so I was hoping to maybe get the chicken tenders and fries?” You try your luck and she gives you another comforting smile.

“Great choice. I’ll go have the kitchen whip it up.” She walks away without any other questions.

You stay and eat at the restaurant for a while. Even long after you’re done, you stay and enjoy more free refills just so you’re not out on the streets.

“You know we’re technically closed right?” Your waitress, Diane asks.

“Oh! I’m sorry. I’ll leave…” You start to collect your things as she begins to sit at your booth with a bin of silverware and some napkins.

“No, please stay. Mind if I join you?” She asks.

“Um…no.” You smile. “I don’t mind at all.” Truth be told you loved Diane. She had such a comfortable, familiar air around her. Even in all of this chaos, she felt like someone you could trust. She starts rolling silverware as you sip on your drink.

“So what’s your story? Are you running or were you kicked out?” She asks.

“What?” You look at her confused.

“You just look scared and tired and like you’re not quite sure what to do. It’s none of my business, but you just look like you need someone on your side is all.” She smiles again, hoping she didn’t overstep.

“Why were you so kind to me? I walked into this restaurant with thirteen dollars to my name and you didn’t even roll an eye at me.” You question her.

“Just doing what I think is right, I suppose. It’s been hard for me too lately. My husband just left, so I picked up this second job to make sure my kids will be alright.” You shoot her a sympathetic look.

“Um…kicked out…I guess….” You open up. Being exiled from your time period is sort of like being kicked out.

“Do you have anywhere to go?” She asks. You shake your head silently. She finishes rolling the last bit of silverware before standing up and putting the bin behind the counter nearby.

“Let’s go. I’m taking you home with me.” She smiles.

“Oh, no! I- I couldn’t possibly-“

“Yes, you can and you will. I’m a mother. I’m not going to let a young adult with nowhere to go and no money sleep on the streets.” She cuts you off. She couldn’t be too much older than you, but clearly motherhood had aged her.

“You don’t even know my name!” You protest.

“What’s your name?” She asks.

“Rey” You panicked. It was the first name to come to your head. You and Adrian had watched Star Wars yesterday.

“Well then, Rey, let’s go home.” She insists.

“I can’t just stay in your house. That’d be rude.” You continue to debate.

“Then work for me.” She says.

“What?” You question her.

“I’ve been wanting to hire a nanny, but haven’t been able to afford one. If you come stay at my place, while you’re there you could watch the boys when I’m at work and in return you would have a roof over your head and food to eat. It sounds like a win-win situation.” She proposes. It isn’t a bad idea. You worry doing just about anything else would have an insane impact on the timeline. How much could one family affect everything?

“Are you sure about this?” You ask.

“More than sure. There’s something about you. You just seem…right.” She tells you. You smile.

“Okay…let’s go home then I guess…” you say as you follow her out of the restaurant. On the drive home she tells you about her kids.

“I have two kids…officially…” She starts.

“What do you mean officially?” You ask as you watch the passing streetlights illuminate her face.

“Well my son’s friend is always over, so more often than not it’ll probably be three boys. I let him sleepover a lot even though he’s a handful because every time he sleeps at home he comes back the next day with bruises. I can’t do anything about it because…well…that’s just how the town is…I think if I said anything things would just get worse, so I keep my mouth shut and put out an extra table setting for supper.” Her hands tighten on the steering wheel as she speaks.

“That’s so awful. I’ll never be able to understand parents who do that to their kids.” You sigh.

“Me either. If anyone laid a finger on either of my boys I’d kill them.” Most moms would be exaggerating, but you saw fire behind her eyes. You knew she loved her kids and she wasn’t fucking around. When you get home and walk inside you see a toddler with tight brown curls running around the living room in nothing, but a diaper.

“Dorian?!” Diane yells through the house. She catches the giggling toddler who has food on his face.

“Dorian Gut Chase! I told you your brother had to be in bed by 8!” Diane starts to scold her son who could be heard from the other room playing video games. Oh fuck.

“I’m sorry. Can you please hold Adrian. I don’t want him getting into anything else before bed and it seems like Dorian and Chris are upstairs killing aliens on the Super Nintendo instead of watching him, which is why I need a nanny in the first place.” She shoves Adrian in your hands. Holy fuck.

“Hi.” You hold him stiffly in your hands.

“I’m Adrian! I’m three!” He tells you just about the only thing every toddler is trained to say upon meeting a new person, shoving 3 fingers in your face.

“I know.” You say back. That’s probably not what you’re supposed to tell a three year old when they introduce themselves, but it’s not like he’ll remember anyway. You’re too in shock to care.

“What’s- what’s- what is your name?” He asks, stuttering out the words, obviously new to keeping up conversations.

“Rey, could you bring Adrian upstairs to help get him ready for bed please?” Diane calls and you remember you told her your name was Rey. Fuck if only baby Adrian could catch the joke in all of this. This is so weird on so many levels.

“I’m Rey, I guess, and we’re going upstairs now.” You tell him.

“Is it bedtime?” He asks.

“Um yeah. You’re up a little late, bud.”

“It’s not late!” He protests in his squeaky voice.

“What makes you think it’s not late?” You ask, as you walk up the stairs.

“I’m not tired!” He says.

“What time do you think it is?” You ask.

“Um 2- 2- 27” He giggles.

“That’s not a time!” You laugh at him, pretending to almost drop him. He breaks out into a fit of giggles. You had almost forgotten who you were holding.

“You’re really good with him. It’s almost like you’re a natural. He’s usually not this happy with strangers. He loves you!” She says, pleasantly surprised. If only somebody else could see the irony in the situation. Freud would love to be a fly on the way during all of this.

“Oh…uh…thanks.” You smile, as Adrian situates himself in your arms, hugging you closely. You would do anything to have Adrian back. Well this is sort of Adrian, but… you wish you had the older version. You wanted your Adrian back.

“I’ll take him from here.” Diane offers. “Check out the guest room. It’s the one at the end of the hall.” She says, taking Adrian from you.

“Thank you. You’ve been really kind.” You smile at her.

“It’s no trouble. You’re doing me a favor.”

You bid your goodnights and head to the guest room. You sit on the bed and think for a moment. This is so fucked up on so many levels. Forget about how you could fuck up the timeline… How are you gonna fuck up your boyfriend?! Not to mention, what kind of fucking ethics are involved in nannying your future boyfriend? He’s fucking three! He’s impressionable! On one hand this is weird, but on the other hand it might be your smartest move. Free room, free food, and you know how Adrian, Gut, and Chris’ lives are supposed to play out, so maybe you can stick to the script of your own timeline a little easier. This might be the easiest way to change as little as possible. You sigh, flopping onto the bed. You pull out your phone. The battery is only half charged and you have no way of charging it, but you don’t care. You need him. You pull up a picture of him that you took this morning in the van on your way to the warehouse, as tears come to your eyes. You open your voicemails and play one he left for you the other day.

“Hey babe, it’s me. I’m just calling because I know you had a bad day today and I was thinking maybe I could bring takeout home from the restaurant and we could just have a movie night? I just wanted to know if you were feeling chicken parm or meatballs or if you wanted to just scratch dinners and have me bring home a pizza. Just call me back when you get this. I’m really proud of you- uh…not that I’m not always proud of you. I’m like totally proud of you all the time and I’m rambling again and this voicemail is about to be like 10 years long, so uh bye I love you.” As soon as the voicemail ended you played it again, letting your tears fall freely. After you’re sure everyone is asleep you sneak into toddler Adrian’s room to check on him. He’s fast asleep in his bed. You let your silent tears continue to fall. He starts to move in his sleep. He seems distraught like he could be having a nightmare.

“It’s okay. I’m gonna take really good care of you, just like how you always take really good care of me.” You put on a teary eyed smile, giving him a kiss on the top of his head and adjusting his fallen blanket to cover him better. He seems to look more comfortable now. He stays fast asleep as you sneak back to the guest room for the night.

#fanfic #fanfiction #adrian chase #adrian chase x reader #peacemaker #peacemaker hbo max #freddie stroma #peacemaker imagine #peacemaker fanfic #peacemaker fanfiction #adrian chase fanfiction #adrian chase fanfic #adrian chase x you #vigilante fanfic #vigilante #vigilante x reader #vigilante fanfiction #vigilante x you #peacemaker dc #peacemaker x reader #chris smith fanfic #chris smith #chris smith fanfiction #chris smith x reader #christopher smith #christopher smith x reader #leota adebayo #john economos #emilia harcourt

[melloween-candie]

Teen pregnancy [P.3]

A Carl Gallagher x Fem Reader fic

Summary

You only started dating Carl for about 2 months. That was right around the time when he and Dom broke up. Deep down, you knew you couldn't compete with her. He would always choose her before you. Yet you were only 16 years old when you discovered he got you pregnant. This news terrified you so much. You didn't want to lose him, and you knew he was already going through so much shit stuff with his family and his "business." Better yet, you were scared about how your family would react, let alone his. At least you have Debbie, your best friend, who's also pregnant with you.

Warning! Small spoilers, Cussing, Fake friend, Mention of cheating, Verbal abuse, Mention of bullying, Manipulation, Small mention of alcohol, Slight mention of isolation, Paranoia, Lying

Note! If any of that makes you uncomfortable- DON'T READ THE STORY!

Word count: 854

[Angst/Fluff]

Part 1, Part 2, PART 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 (Completed)

Shameless Masterlist

Fandom Masterlists

/"Talking"//Thinking//Muttering-Whispering/

***Narrator's Pov***

It has been about 2 weeks since all that happened. You've been avoiding Carl the whole time. Always giving him excuses, saying you have a girl's night with Debs or how you're too busy with your studies. When really you and Debbie had been planning on seeing a doctor for the both of you.

Meanwhile, Carl worked on getting out of his situation. He removed his Cornrows, gave Fiona his money to pay for the house, and he stopped doing his runs entirely.

This caused a certain someone to notice. How could she not when Carl has recently been working with her father to become a cop.

That's right, Dominique Fu*king Winslow, Carl's ex and your worst nightmare.

You two used to be friends until she found out that you liked him- Now she'd do anything to destroy your life. Throughout your time dating Carl, she has constantly tried to break you guys up. Of course, Carl being oblivious, never noticed. In fact, he's still friends with her.

His reason for breaking up with her was because she did, in fact, cheat on him. Though the only reason why he chooses to stay friends with her is that he wants her dad to like him so he can become a cop. Or at least that's what he told you.

But that all doesn't matter now. She wants him back, and she will do whatever it takes to get him back.

Time skip!~

***Carl's Pov***

It has been about a month and a half since all that went down. You and Carl hung out occasionally, but you both mainly focused on yourselves. You and Debbie became inseparable again, and Carl had just been doing his thing until Dominique approached him.

"Hey, Carl~" Dominique looked at him. "Carl!"

Carl jumped out of his thoughts to find Dominique in front of him. "Oh hey."

"I just wanted to ask, how's your pregnant girlfriend?" She asked with evil intentions. "Oh, and your sister's pregnant too, right? What luck!" She giggled.

"H-how did you know that?" Carl looked around, making sure no one heard.

"Oh, you know, rumors spread quite quickly in the southside~," She said nonchalantly.

Carl started panicking. He didn't want to stress her out even more. He knew if his girl found out that the school was spreading truthful rumors about her, she'd flip.

"Who started these rumors?!"

"Who knows..." When Dom realized Carl was about to leave, she grabbed his arm. "Hey, listen, Carl. I know you're in a really stressful situation right now and everything, but I was wondering if you wanna attend this party with me?"

Carl looked at her for a second in complete disbelief at what she just said.

"I get it if you don't want to, but I figured it would be a good way for you to relieve your stress and everything. You know, since you're gonna be a dad soon, I'd figured you'd at least want to have fun one more time." Dominique smirked, knowing that what she had just said ultimately convinced him into going. "I'll text you the details later. Also, don't bother bringing your girlfriend. There's gonna be alcohol."

Then she left, leaving him to contemplate his thoughts.

***Y/n's Pov***

Throughout your weeks of school, people started acting differently towards you. Every time you walked down a hallway, people would start whispering. Your other friends started avoiding you, and people started staring at you more and not in a good way.

It made you even more paranoid. You knew you weren't showing; it's been only a month since you found out after all, and besides, Debs and Carl both agreed to keep your pregnancy a secret since you didn't want the whole school to know.

You decided to go talk to Carl about it. When you found him, you saw Dominique walking away from him with a smirk on her face.

What's that all about? You sneaked up on him.

"Hey, what was that about?"

"Huh?" Carl turned to look at you. "Oh, nothing." 

"Oh, um, ok."

You couldn't help but feel uneasy about the whole situation.

Why would he be talking to Dominique of all people... a-and why now?

You looked at him while you two walked down the hall. You remembered reading something about body language and how to tell if someone was lying to you. You weren't entirely sure if it was true, but you had a bad feeling that Carl was gonna lie to you soon.

Ding~ Carl looked at his phone. Stopping in front of your classroom door.

"Hey, listen, I won't be able to hang out with you tonight."

"What! Why?" You asked, devastated. "You promised you'd come to me and Debbie's ultrasound checkup!"

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I can't go tonight."

"Why not?!"

"Uhh-" Carl scratched the back of his head. "Look, I gotta meet up with Sargent Winslow for something..."

Carl then left you hanging in the hallway alone.

Sargent Winslow? Since when was Sargent Winslow more important than our kid?

You weren't an expert, but you were pretty sure that Carl just lied to you.

#shameless #carl gallagher x reader #fanfiction #depression #debbie gallagher #fiona gallagher #foul language #manipulation #mention of bullying #teen pregnancy #fake friend #paranoia #small spoilers #mention of cheating #isolation #drama #teenage romance

[handledwithgloves]

two very popular drarry fics that i did not care for and why

in the past however long of my becoming a drarry stan ive read many fanfics and i can say only two had really gotten me so pissed i had to log off

and thats not to say that i never dnf a drarry fic before because i have done that to so many for various different reasons. ive also read plenty dead doves do not eat so… this is saying something i suppose.

and this is no hate at all to the writers of these fics they clearly love what they do and are super talented and no hate to the enjoyers of these fics, like what you like. this is just my person experiences.

first is, harry potter and the welcome to the world of grey. i just gotta say i did not get the hype at all. i hated voldemort so much everything he says to harry is meant to be philosophical and insightful and whatnot and that makes harry question whether or not voldemort is truly evil but mans just talked way too much for my liking. he needed to be shut up and every time harry was tryin to beat on his ass he stopped for whatever reason - i was so pissed. like atp just kill each other istg. and then harry is supposed to be conflicted and all alone and he cant trust dumbledore and he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions and go to jail for killing someone, well too bad pookie! get tf over yourself you're a bad guy now. not only did you kill twice but both times you killed it was not in self defense but your own willingness to do so. like the drarry was good, in fact so good that i got about 3/4ths way through before i had to quit. the drarry was carrying this story and i understand if drarry stans love it solely for the drarry but if there's going to be other parts of the story i need it to make sense to me. harry and voldemort's characters were just not doing it for me.

second, is the mirror of ecidyrue series. It started off soo well, so well. i loved how all the characters were so in character and everything was cool and draco was powerful and his power was mysterious and bella was scary. i loved how harry met draco and how hermione started trying to befriend him i loved the friendship bracelent draco made her and that snape helped. i even loved jealous harry when draco and charlie were flirting and harry was like 'how old are you again, charlie? 25!? well draco's 14' and charlie started freaking out 'um, 21'. so anyway, strong start! but theeennn... we get later on in the series and for some reason draco starts changing? like yes he gets influenced by the people around him but all of a sudden he's like hyper fem which is not a bad thing in general but definite ooc - i like draco's character so i would prefer him to be in character but whatever i was able to ignore it until they started giving each other nicknames. oh god the nicknames were the worst part. like i get they're cringey kids they do dumb things draco is no exception apparently even though mentally he's like 21 hanging out with 14 yos. so yeah i had to absolutely stop when draco was having sex with 16 yo harry and harry starts calling him dragon in a sexual way... yeah i just had to stop there. i was getting way too much second hand embarrassment that it was pissing me off. i did not like draco lmfao. also i hate that they made lucius abusive lmao.

once again just disclaiming this is no hate to the writers or enjoyers of these fics i just couldnt stomach the stories and thats my own personal fault. i just wanted to share what i thought lol. they definitely made an impression!

#god like to this day! to this day! i still think lunaluna and start dying inside like fy draco! #its just her name said twice but god i wanted to vomit #drarry #drarry fics #idk what else to tag this lol pls dont attack me or tell me i'm being a hater i really did enjoy these stories to an extent but no other fi #made me quit reading them so hard and fast lmfaooo #all other fics i dnf happened slowly like i was reading and then put it away for later then read a bit then put away for later and eventual #just started reading other fics instead

[flamedraco]

c!Wilbur Redesign

This is my compromise to the current situation regarding Shubble and the speculation surrounding Wilbur. This is coming from a fanfiction writer who has always, and always will, see the CCs as nothing more than voice actors for their characters. Buckle in, this is going to be a long one. But please read all the way through. If you don't know, recently Shubble came forward with a video about how she was in an abusive relationship. And she dropped some hints because she wants people to speculate about who it is. Wants to make sure that a person with bad intentions can't get away with more bad things. A lot of people are speculating that, due to said hints and previously established crush that he had on her, Wilbur is the person who abused her. Now personally? I do not believe this. It's hard for me to believe that Wilbur would do something like that. I don't like the idea of hopping on the hate train or immediately jumping to cancel someone. So I will be waiting for real facts and confirmation before saying anything regarding the CC. A lot of the speculation doesn't make sense to me logically and I also never got the chance to see the video before it was deleted. This is not me calling Shubble a liar. I 100% believe her and my heart goes out to her completely. She doesn't deserve being treated horribly, nobody does. The situation I'm hearing she went through is a wretched thing and I will not TOLERATE people insulting her or saying that she should just say who it was. That shit is not okay and never will be okay. HOWEVER! I will NOT stop writing Wilbur's character. A little fact about me is that when I came into this fandom, it wasn't because I watched the CCs. It wasn't because I was interested in MCYT. The reason I came here was because a very close friend of mine asked me to cowrite a fic with them. At the time the only fandom we really shared even vaguely was DSMP. I knew very little about it but I knew some things. I let my friend choose the ship. They chose TNT Duo. And it's thanks to that friend that I wrote Arsonist's Waltz. That I started to adore Quackbur and wrote my most well known fic, You Were Never Meant to be a Hero. And thanks to YWNMTBAH I made so many cherished friends. It's all because of these two little characters that still have me in a chokehold even though I've been writing them for quite some time now. And that's why I can't simply let go of Wilbur's character. But regardless of my ability to separate the Cs from the CCs, for some people that distinction is harder. The CCs to me are just glorified voice actors. For other people it's harder. They can separate the characters from the content creators just fine, but this situation hits them close to home. And it hurts. So, this is my proposed solution, brought to my attention by a friend who was heavily affected by this situation, but loved the work she was doing and didn't want to have to let it go. C!Wilbur doesn't have an actual canon design. When you think about it, the only thing we have to go off of is his Minecraft skin. Something that, when you think about it, doesn't tell us much about the character at all. There is no canon design because most of what we see as "canon" is based on the CC, not the character himself. When you look at c!Wilbur, the skin, does he have an eye color? Do we know his height? What about his hair length? His build? What do we actually know about this character outside of the clothing on his back and the personality his actor gave him? And when you make an AU everything changes. From now on? My c!Wilbur design that I'll use as a baseline for most of my fics is a 6ft man with heterochromia. One eye blue, the other teal. He's going to have brown curly hair that dips just below his shoulders and a light scar over one of his eyes. Sometimes he'll have freckles because what the fuck can we tell from a Minecraft skin anyways? He wears black nail polish because why not? Slay.

I already treated him and c!Quackity like glorified OCs already. Why not further OC the glorified OCs? So what if they aren't a faithful adaptation? How can anyone say what is and isn't "faithful" when we're talking about BLOCK MEN. Make them eldritch. Make them supernatural. Make them whatever kind of hybrid you want them to be! I'll die on my Magpie!Wilbur and Shrike!Quackity hill! Give them different eye colors and let them dye their hair sometimes, I'm going to make the white streak PINK because TWINS DUO and CHERRY BLOSSOM TRIPLETS! Give your Phantom!Wilburs green eyes and glowing blood! Give your Shapeshifter!Wilburs more hair and eye colors! Do what you want because the character has no actual canon design. Go wild with your AUs and remember that you're doing this for fun. For your enjoyment. Don't conform to what someone else wants from you just because your adaption, your interpretation, "isn't the real Wilbur". The characters are what we make them. Because the reality of the situation? They are literally just blocks in a cube game. There is no canon design. Don't let the actions of some asshole ruin what you love.

#Build your own Wilbur #mcyt #mcyt fanart #The characters are not the CCs #Build a c!Wilbur #cosplay #writing #art

[anotherblinder]

Reunion

Part One || Betrayal

Summary || You see Thomas Shelby again after a couple years of him betraying you. Only, you meet him again with your husband Alfie Solomans.

Word count || 925

Warnings || None

Pairings || Thomas Shelby x Reader (enemies) Alfie Solomans x Reader

Note || Here is part two to Betrayal! I hope you all like it and maybe I'll do a part 3 of when Tommy shoots Alfie. Special shout out to @wayward-timetravel-collector as they saw exactly where this fic was going before I even posted it. sorry it won't let me tag you. This has not been edited. This is my first time ever writing Alfie so please excuse if he's ooc.

Things have been very different since not having communication with Thomas Shelby. Though it was in a good way. At first it hurt, it really fucking hurt. After all you lost you’re best friend to a woman he’s barely known. Chose to believe her over you. That didn’t mean you weren’t close with the rest of the Shelby’s. Tommy was the only one who burned you, not everyone else. Normally, anyone Tommy kicked out everyone ignored and shamed. Well, the ones who didn’t end up dead. You were a different case. They’ve known you since you’ve been born. You were only a few years younger than Tommy.

No, everyone else in the family believed you. They knew you wouldn’t rat them out like that. Even tried to tell Tommy but he ignored them. Hell, Polly even told you Grace told Tommy she was the actual one who told the police where the guns were. He never came forward and apologized. Of course if he did that meant hell froze over. You even told Polly he could contact you only to apologize if he wanted too. Her and Arthur tried hard to repair the burned bridge, but Tommy made his choice. There would be no repairing what had been burned. It would stay ash.

What happened with you? Well, you had found a nice man. One that wasn’t an abusive husband or drunk. Hell, even both, it was nice. You happened on him by chance. A few months after everything with Thomas, he helped heal your heart. Today was going to be an interesting day, Alfie had told you he had a meeting with Thomas Shelby. Until now, you’ve refused to talk or even be in the same room as Thomas. But, he wanted to meet the wife of Alfie Solomans. For whatever reason, probably to use as leverage if needed. This time you agreed to meet with the Shelby. You wanted to show Thomas, you didn’t need him, that you could take care of yourself. Show him how you moved up in the world. Alfie knows of you’re relationship with Thomas. You told him when Alfie first started doing business with him.

The sound of your heels resonated as you walked to Alfie’s office. It was time to face the man who betrayed you. Taking a deep breath, you put on a smile and opened the door.

“Ah, there she is now. Hello, my love, Tommy here is looking forward to meeting you. Says he hopes to get along, ya?” Alfie spoke with a bite

“I don’t see that happening unfortunately. Isn’t that a shame Mr. Shelby?” You replied

It felt like the room got colder after you spoke. It was silent, no one spoke. You stayed standing at the door with his back turned to you. The smile long since dropped from you’re face. Slowly Thomas turned to face you with an expression you couldn’t quite place. Regret? Surprise? Sad? Who was to say. You weren’t going to think into it either.

“(Y/n).” Thomas said

“That’s Mrs. Solomons to you. We are not on friendly terms. This is a business meeting. Nothing more, nothing less.” You replied

“I love it when she does that. See, my wife, she is a very respectful woman. So if she doesn’t like ya, then I don’t either. See Tommy, the only reason we are in this business is because it was the right move. Had it not been, I would have said fuck off and left it at that.” Alfie spoke up

“Wouldn’t have made a difference. After all, Shelby doesn’t like taking no for an answer.” You said

“Suppose you’re right about that. Well,” Alfie said with a clap of his hands, “I will give you a moment. If he does anything just shoot him.”

Alfie pressed a kiss to your cheek as he walked out the door. The entire time Thomas had his eyes on you. It was dead silent. There wasn’t anything to say. You both knew where you stood. Neither one of you had anything to say to each other.

“I didn’t know you got married.” Thomas broke the silence

“Why would I tell you?”

“To my enemy of all things.”

“Funny thing about that, he wasn’t you’re enemy until recently. Let’s get straight to the point. You thought I would come running back to you after that night. Proved that wrong.” You scoffed

“Yet you stayed in contact with everyone else.” He spat

“I don’t remember anyone else fucking accusing me of betraying the family. No, that was just you. I heard she admitted it.”

“Yes, Grace told me she was the one who told Campbell about the guns. I’m sorry.”

“Too late for apologies, Shelby. I don’t accept it. You had you’re chance long ago for that. you made your choice.”

“You going to continue to call me Shelby? You’ve known me for you’re whole life.” He said agitated

“That’s the sad part, I have. My own best friend broke my heart. So yes, I will call you Shelby. I’ll never call you anything else. Ever again,” You said and turned to the door before pausing, “Oh, my condolences on the death of your wife. Seems rats get what they deserve eventually.”

You could feel the anger resonating off Thomas as you walked out the door. Had you been on good terms with both of them, you’d genuinely feel for his loss. Unfortunately life has a funny sense of humor. As for seeing Thomas again, hopefully it would be at his funeral.

Tags

@24-martie

@dreamy-caramel

@slytherinambitious

@violet-19999

#thomas shelby x reader #alfie solomans x reader #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders imagine #thomas shelby imagine #alfie solomans imagine #tommy shelby x reader

[phantom-bleu]

So i said my piece abt everything to the mods and long story short i dont support the morning brew zine anymore and ive said theyre welcome to remove my contribution. I left after saying what i did so idk what the moderators' responses were but it seems to me theyre asking contributors if they want to remove their pieces so hopefully my & other ppl's wishes are respected

This news didnt quite reach tumblr but basically a writer featured in the zine, mooncake_madness, has written multiple espresso/madeleine fics involving sexual abuse between them. Im still not really sure who was in the dark vs who was afraid of speaking out about it but i want to make it very clear that its not the fault of the contributors that this was allowed; their s/a works on ao3 are either set to user-only or whatever equivalent of that exists on the site so this was already obscured from people like me who dont have ao3 accounts, but at minimum 2 of the mods knew about it or were personal fans of this writer's work and they made a deliberate choice not to mention it to any of us.

Like imo there was a purposeful cover-up to allow this writer on the zine, and really which contributor knew what makes no difference because the moderators should have made sure EVERYONE knew. There shouldnt have ever been an attempt to hide or even feign cluelessness on the part of the moderators ("their works are publicly viewable so you had to have known" THEYRE NOT EVEN PUBLIC) like all i wouldve wanted is to not be strung along to contribute to a zine for a pairing i love alongside someone who wants to write like 4 fucking fics about espresso being raped, and the fact of the matter is i (and everyone else) was led into doing so because of simple negligence.

Like i think the ONE warning they gave abt mooncake's ao3 was "beware of nsfw content" on the public twitter which is really funny because they made no comment like that to us contributors, and also "nsfw" is a hilarious way to avoid saying "CONTENT WARNING FOR RAPE." I wonder why they Did Not Say That. And 1 of the moderators is a confirmed previous fan of mooncake's stuff so its super fucking cool that they prioritised including their favourite s/a author over the personal boundaries of the artists and writers making their zine happen. For free.

So yeah. there were a lot of cool ppl on this zine. its upsetting that all of our work got overshadowed by the inclusion of one fucking guy the mods thought would slide under the radar. I dont even think it was an hour before people started talking about it. the zine is apparently on hiatus rn (Hopefully to give time for contributors to decide whether they want to follow through w the project) so there isnt any way to view it anymore. but i think in the coming days there will probably be people posting their pieces independently of the zine and where i can ill share their work, because everyone put a lot of heart into their pieces over the course of 3 whole months and i dont want that passion and dedication to be ruined by shitty moderation. The pieces in this zine were all motivated by everyones individual love for espressleine and i think it shows. and equally if theres anyone who decides not to pull out of the zine (bc there are valid reasons for that) please give them a chance too

#I dont think we need to worry abt this on tumblr but equally dont harass anybody involved #i still dont know who was unaware who was afraid to speak up and who was actually complicit #and the latter was an extreme minority so ive chosen not to name names in case i accidentally drag innocent parties into this

[pleniloon]

i have heard your call that you are now doing nsfw hcs!!!

so... like uhm.... kazuha with a lip piercing headcanons??? because i just read this really good fanfic about kissing kazuha with a lip piercing and i starting making a sound that can only be described as a mixture of squealing and cackling...

Piercings

inspired by hiraethflower’s fic!!

part two

characters: kazuha

summary: you might love your boyfriend’s new piercing more than he does.

genre: fluff, smut

warnings: afab!reader (no pronouns); pet names (dove), dry humping; not proofread

note: my first time writing for kazuha!! i think we read the same fic anon 👁👁 anywho, i really hope this makes you squeal-cackle, bc if it doesn’t then i’ve failed as a writer </3

⋆ i’m not sure if lip piercings currently exist in teyvat but, for the sake of the post, they’re another trend that originated in fontaine.

⋆ due to how isolated inazuma is, they haven’t quite gotten on the trend yet. so, when kazuha returns from liyue with a ring on his bottom lip, you’re pleasantly surprised.

⋆ you had always found your boyfriend to be criminally attractive. so much so, that when you first started dating, you felt butterflies every time he quoted one of his poems for you. the first time he recited a verse after getting his piercing, you found yourself unable to focus on anything but the way his lips moved as he spoke.

⋆ kazuha is a smart man; he knows how to fluster you, and he absolutely abuses that knowledge.

⋆ trailing his lips down your neck just to make you shiver from the cold metal, leaning forward just enough to make your lips brush but not quite meet, whispering poems in your ear that would make even the gods blush… those were some of his favorite things.

⋆ you had developed a ritual of kissing each other before doing pretty much anything - getting up in the morning, going to bed at night, leaving the house, saying hello or goodbye, whenever you two deemed it necessary.

⋆ kissing kazuha used to be all about sweetness and tender touches… you still share those kisses, but now your boyfriend has developed a cheeky habit of turning your innocent kisses into something more whenever he got the chance. all with the hopes of you catching his bottom lip between your teeth in a moment of passion and flustering yourself when the ring touches your tongue.

⋆ of course, you developed some obscene fantasies regarding your lover’s new look. you even thought of other piercings that he could try out - your favorite suggestion was a tongue piercing, for reasons that you claimed were purely “aesthetic.” both you and kazuha knew otherwise.

⋆ really, your fascination with such a small accessory was the thing that made kazuha keep teasing you with it.

⋆ ah, but his absolute favorite thing about the piercing was how it affected you during your shared moments of intimacy.

kazuha sighed softly against your lips before diving in once more, stealing away all your breath with his barrage of impassioned kisses.

he knew he was greedy, barely taking the time to say “hello” to you before his lips were on yours and his body pushing you towards the bedroom. you landed on the futon with a soft thud, your boyfriend’s warm body hovering over you and caging you in between his arms.

“kazu– hahh,” you let out an airy moan when his lips trailed down your jaw, nipping at the sensitive spots on your neck that he had memorized. he pulled back and brushed his lips against your skin, chuckling lightly when you shuddered under his touch.

“cold?” he teased, lifting his head to smile down at you. instead of replying, you stared at him in your lust-filled haze, unable to tear your eyes away from his bottom lip as the tip of his tongue poked out and slid across it slowly.

you didn’t realize that you whimpered until he huffed in amusement and nipped at your earlobe. “what do you want, dove?” he whispered.

“i want you, kazuha– please.”

he got to work on undressing you, pulling off each layer of clothing agonizingly slow. “is that right?” he mused, smooth hands coming to rest on and knead at your hips as he sat back on his knees. “you already have me, dove. be a little more specific.”

your hips jumped after he settled between your legs, rubbing his still-clothed dick against your crotch. one of his hands held you still, the other moving to rub featherlight circles around your clit.

you whined and shot your lover a halfhearted glare. “you know what i want…” you tried to argue, to preserve some of your dignity. however, your fighting will was shattered when he rutted his hips against your clit, licking into your mouth after you let out a surprised gasp.

your hands found purchase in his hair while he kissed you like a starving man, his feverish kisses starkly contrasting the languid pace of his thrusts. he drank up every moan that you let out, every wispy gasp and sigh of his name.

he was addicted to this feeling, drunk on your sweet taste. your lips met over and over again, each kiss hungrier than the last, until you tugged at his hair and forced him to lift his head to breathe. you were a lovely sight - lips swollen red and glistening, cheeks flushed and mouth agape in a silent moan.

kazuha dragged his hips up, savoring the drawn out moan that spilled from your lips. in a moment of poise, you pulled him down once more and nipped at his jaw, rolling your hips against his and giggling breathily at his surprised groan.

he really wouldn’t mind leaving again, if it meant returning home to your saccharine embrace.

a/n: i wanted to keep this 100% gender neutral, but i just,, don’t understand how that works in smut? 🫤

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin headcanons #kazuha x reader #kazuha headcanons #kazuha smut #pleni.writes